#literally girls when they listen to podcasts

[dyketennant]

oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show

[waterberry-strawmelon]

it really sucks when the creator(s) of something you really like clearly have some unchecked biases that leak into their work, cuz you know they’d probably try and correct their behavior if they had it pointed out to them, but they’re just so oblivious that some little comments drop here and there that just brilliantly showcase how entrenched they are in their sphere of privilege to recognize it

[yourbestgal]

what’s interesting to me about being a woman in a post Me Too society is that i know men still feel the same way about us, they just know they’ll get cancelled if they’re public about it. i almost wish they still just aired that shit out for the world to see so you can see who the ‘good’ ones are lol

[saviourkingslut]

ooohhh of course my current podcast's favourite character is secretly called dimitri. obviously. what else could it be.

[wcters]

𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗔 𝗚𝗜𝗥𝗟𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗦𝗧𝗨𝗗𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗖𝗢𝗦𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗢𝗟𝗢𝗚𝗬

pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: the relationship between matt and a girlfriend in cosmetology school

warnings/notes: established relationship, swearing, nudity innuendos?? they are naked together, kinda went off the cosmetology thing but it’s cute so whtv, a bit short but this is my first time doing preferences

- first . . . he’s totally spoiled

- like really spoiled

- you would practice at home, and then whatever you could on matt

- manicure: hand massages, cuticle cutting, nail painting, hair washing: head massages, shampoo and conditioning his hair

- he would let you practice shaving his beard but it would take awhile for him to let you

- not because he doesn’t trust you, but because he was going through a beard phase

- matt would loveeee the head massages and would get you to do them all the time

- eventually it becomes second nature and so you’ll be cuddling on the couch or outside sitting down with him between your legs and your hand will just find it’s way into his hair

- and you have fake nails so you know it feels reallyyy good

- waxing . . . but he would not admit that he lets you do it

- you ALWAYS smell good

- your shampoo and conditioner, perfume, skin/body care

- nick always asks you what you use for your skin

- sleepovers with nick where you do skincare, face masks, nail painting

- and chris begs to join until nick says yes

- matt always finds you three on nick’s bed watching a movie

- you had been obsessed with makeup your whole life

- def the designated hair braider on your sports team

- BATHS TOGETHER

- bubble bath, candles, you talking about your day and drama and he’ll be listening

- he’s just happy to be there

- studying at his house while you’re watching a movie together or if he’s busy with the podcast

- chris coming up to you and randomly asking you a question about what you’re doing when you’re studying

- “why do you push your cuticles back?” “how do perms work? like how do you do them?”

- it makes you smile because he’s genuinely interested

- will show him some things if you can

- you’re super sweet

- everyone likes you

- you’re a girls girl

- someone needs a pad/tampon? you got it. someone doesn’t want to go somewhere alone? they aren’t because you’re coming with

- you don’t gatekeep skincare or makeup

- always have lip balm on you

- you and matt go to the gym together

- always have a matching top and pants for your workout outfit

- matt just can’t believe you’re his 🤍

- like he looks at you like you hung the moon and stars

- i want to wear his initial on a chain ‘round my neck vibes

- you literally have a necklace with his initial, you walked it with it on and his eyes popped out of his head

- totally share jewelry

- you steal his sweaters, shirts, shorts, boxers, basically anything you can get your hands on

- give matt face massages

- he be lookin’ flawless

- pays for you even though you decline because he knows how much money you use for school stuff

- that shit is expensiveeee

- nick asked you first to help him dye his hair red

- ofc you said yes! he’s your bestie

- played ariana, doja cat, clairo, stuff like that

- #danceparty

- your stuff sort of pops up around the house

- chris will find like a bobbypin or a hair tie on the floor

- smells like you because you bought candles for them that you loved

- thrifting and going to flea markets and getting stuff for your apartment like vases, cups to hold jewelry, etc

- your hair is amazing. everyone’s jealous. i’m jealous.

- no split ends, doesn’t get greasy until at least 5-6 days after you wash it, perfect for styling. also sleep with a bonnet because that does wonders for you

- lashes are amazing as well. it’s because you get them done while at school 😉😉😉

- you drive nick and chris around if matt’s not there or busy

- they literally love you

- think you’re perfect for your brother

- so nice, so sweet, literal angel

- you’ve been on the podcast

- made a tiktok account after matt suggested you do

- blew up. and it’s partly because you don’t gatekeep

- you’re so relatable too, being completely honest about how you feel . . . and are so funny

- “hot take . . . men should shave their armpits. like how do you put deodorant on?” “you ever too lazy to wash your face so all it is is a makeup wipe and a rinse with water? me too.”

- will trim matt’s hair if be wants just a trim

- you first said no, didn’t want to mess up, but he believed in you 🤭🤭

- your biggest supporter

- they would totally be there when you graduate

- cheering loudly when you walk along the stage

- like the pricilla movie scene but with no creepy old men

- you love that movie, hate elvis, but love pricillia

- you sometimes cook for them so they don’t eat out all the time

- you’re a good cook 👩‍🍳

- force them to have some form of vegetables

- his parents love you

- go fishing with jimmy and the boys the one time they do (sorry jimmy but it’s true)

- fans will ask for pictures when you visit matt on tour

- who’s the triplets? they’re here for you

- matt is so proud of you

- if you ever need him to pick you up he’ll bring you food or starbucks so you have energy when you’re done

- is at your beck and call

- ask him to jump off a cliff? he’ll hesitate a bit but will ultimately do it

[astonmartinii]

i don't wanna be funny anymore | daniel ricciardo social media au

pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem podcaster!reader

i don't wanna be funny anymore, i got a too short skirt, maybe i can be the cute one. is there room in the band? i don't need to be the front man, if not then i'll be the biggest fan

based on i don't wanna be funny anymore by lucy dacus (this song speaks to me, i love lucy (she's also AMAZING live))

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 341,203 others

yourusername: hey girl hey, new ep coming at you fast this friday all about rotting. as the twilight weather rolls in and it becomes the season of all too well, we'll talk about rotting, how we can do it right and how not to lose your mind this october (a cautionary tale, i've already lost mine)

view all comments

user1: my queen hands down five stars already

user2: the bag is so real and the way i know it's a tote that does NOT stay on your shoulder

yourusername: it's the enchante tote, shameless plug for my man

danielricciardo: you singlehandedly sell out my totes every time baby

user3: not this actual fan erasure 🤨

user4: babe be real, she has a massive platform and there was a direct correlation between the first time she plugged a tote and the fact that they sold out that day you guys just love being mean

user5: i'm mean cause i don't want some leech taking credit for dan's hardwork and his fans?

user6: he fucking said it? you guys grasp at straws every time so try and justify your agenda against her

maxverstappen1: idk what rotting is but i'll still listen to every second

yourusername: thanks maxy, though i'd say going on the sim for up to 14 hours of the day is bordering on rotting

maxverstappen1: productive rotting !

yourusername: yes, i guess your sweet little treats are trophies?

maxverstappen1: that would make sense (don't tell my trainer but i do enjoy the little fruity drinks from starbucks)

user7: yall wanna say we're mean but she's literally invalidating max, saying he's rotting on the sim is so invalidating to everything he went through when he was younger

user8: how did we get there? this grasp on straws has to be studied... from a joke about the sim to invalidating abuse?

user9: i honestly thank the lord for dan and max because they're so supportive no matter the shitstorm that yall throw at y/n everyday

user10: literally max is even listening to podcasts... real friends, i hope one day she feels confident enough to come to races

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen, georgerussell63 and 1,034,239 others

tagged: yourusername, enchante

danielricciardo: buckle up, enchante is going to the rodeo 🐎

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user13: i shall be breaking the bank

user14: dan so smart, he looks like a good boyf for including y/n but didn't include her face

user15: yall ever listen to yourself talk, you need to be put in time out for real

yourusername: we all know the phrase, save a horse, ride a...

danielricciardo: daniel?

yourusername: YUP

user16: ugh there are children who are fans of daniel, she's so gross

user17: do you ever get tired of doing all of that mental gymnastics?

yourusername: can't wait for the tote drop for this collection, yall WON'T be disappointed

user18: yes, i will always trust mother's tote recommendations

user19: anyone who carries that much shit knows what makes a good tote

yourusername: this one has survived two dostoevsky book, an unreasonably large water bottle, a laptop and microphone

user19: thank you ma'am

maxverstappen1: real love is dressing as a cowgirl for your needy boyfriend

yourusername: the things we do for love (i actually had so much fun)

user20: here y/n goes doing all the publicity, but never going to races, clearest gold digger attention whore wag of all time

user21: surely a real attention whore would go to every race to get the screen time and papped and all that jazz?

excerpt of y/n y/ln's podcast where she addresses her absences in the paddock.

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 412,349 others

yourusername: life recently lol, the enchante tote is taking a beating

view all comments

user24: she's such a crybaby making dan use up an entire portion of his interview to coddle her

user25: she doesn't come to races cause of people like you invading her privacy and being rude and here you are ... proving her point

danielricciardo: pretty lady i can't wait to be back in your arms

yourusername: waiting outside the airport now

danielricciardo: we haven't even taken off yet babe

yourusername: i know i just miss you and can't wait to see your handsome face

user26: dan must be saying this shit at gun point cause there's no way he actually thinks she's pretty

user27: are you clinically blind? cause we must not be seeing the same girl

maxverstappen1: the aperol rawdogging the bag, you are SO brave

yourusername: living life on the edge, is this that thrill all you drivers talk about?

maxverstappen1: i may drive at over 200 kmh but i'd never risk my tote like that

yourusername: is it worse that i have a jar of olives in there as well, one drop and it's so over for me

maxverstappen1: OLIVES? remind me NOT to hug you when you pick us up

danielricciardo: if you want that hug you gonna have to get in line boy

user28: she picks them up from the airport? that's so cute

user29: someone tell her the gross girl aesthetic isn't cute

user30: babe don't worry no matter the aesthetic you have daniel will never want you x

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, christianhorner and 982,344 others

tagged: yourusername, danielricciardo

maxverstappen1: finally went on my bff's (no 1 in the world) podcast after i finally convinced her yall ain't shit - oh and dan was there for emotional support x

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user31: SO ICONIC

user32: ep on repeat forever, they're so funny

yourusername: for a man who hates podcasts, you were a star i think the memes hit you hard

maxverstappen1: i enjoy the PROFESSIONALS could you imagine doing a podcast with lando

landonorris: why am i catching strays

danielricciardo: i wouldn't say that too loud, i got about 20 texts as soon as you posted this demanding i ask y/n to be on the show

yourusername: oooooooooo the girls are fighting

landonorris: so can i come on?

yourusername: i'm sure we can schedule something

maxverstappen1: don't say i didn't warn you y/n

user33: ugh now she's going to whore around the rest of the grid

user34: for real wasn't dan enough? she's not even pretty enough to whore herself out

user35: you people have no reading comprehension cause you see how dan says yall are insane and yall keep proving him right

danielricciardo: i'm so proud of you pretty girl

yourusername: i love you cowboy

danielricciardo: forever obsessed with you

user36: i'm living for y/n basically telling all these insecure weirdos to fuck off

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, christianhorner and 603,451 others

tagged: danielricciardo

yourusername: who was gonna tell me these cars are loud as shit irl

view all comments

user39: someone tell sky to stop zooming in on her i don't pay to her her ugly ass

user40: cry your heart out bro everyone else is happy

danielricciardo: oops i think you're my lucky charm you now have to come to every race ever sorry not sorry

yourusername: gosh i think that might be true - i'll be there! (but for real you are so so talented and don't need a lucky charm)

danielricciardo: i'm just so happy to share this with you, i love you so much, i'm sorry people have been so cruel

yourusername: people are passionate about you and rightly so, but i appreciate you protecting me baby

user41: imagine being this irrelevant and demanding protection in the paddock ... the audacity

user42: you finally came to the paddock and this is what you wore?

user43: she's wearing danny merch? if she didn't yall would have a problem with that as well so please just be quiet

maxverstappen1: i need you to come every weekend cause you're the only one drunk danny will listen to

yourusername: we had practice with all the wine tasting we did for his wine line

danielricciardo: i am NOT that bad

maxverstappen1: tbf it's usually him just crying about how much he loves you

yourusername: AWWWWWW (i also cry about how much i love you)

user44: gosh this is my favourite f1 couple

user45: hopefully now she has her dose of fame she'll fuck off

user46: HAVE A DAY OFF

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,451,677 others

tagged: yourusername

danielricciardo: as we're nearing our two year anniversary i wanted to say a couple things. one. i love you so much. when you came into my life i was in a bad place and you truly taught me to love myself again and how to love my sport again. you're the most amazing woman ever, the kindest soul and the most beautiful girl ever. two. i am so thankful for the support i have, i do not allow the disrespect some have given y/n. you guys have no real perception of relationships between athletes and fans. you do not have the right to comment on y/n in the way you are. you take extremely low blow and have the gall to confront her in public as well. do not call yourself a fan of mine when you treat the people i love like this. my team will now begin to monitor comment sections and will seek to block and report accounts doing this. thank you and i love you y/n.

comments on this post are turned off.

note: hope yall enjoyed!! i love danny and i saw the danny ric honky tonk this morning and had to write about him. i'd also had this idea for a while but didn't know who to write for lol. please listen to the song i love lucy so much and the song is so relatable xx

also anyone who has requested - i am working on them (but as per some questions in my asks, as for right now i do not write for footballers, if i become less disillusioned with the sport (thanks chelsea) this may change)

[ebsmind]

𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 ❀ tom blyth x fem!singer reader

summary : readers reputation isn’t all that good but who cares since she’s met the love of her life

warning(s) : reader gets slut shamed :( but that’s it

a/n : i’m going to be real honest i wanted to use hailee steinfeld as the fc BUT i just had to do olivia bc she’s so me and i listened to delicate by taylor swift about 10 times while i made this 🙃

i also had a really hard time coming up with why the readers reputation is 👎🏼 so i kinda just went with the whole olivia and sabrina thing but it’s reversed!! 😼 (so instead of olivia getting broken up with it’s sabrina who got broken up with)

ynuser happiness 🙃

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user1 oh so ur happy bc ur a home wrecker?

user2 yikes…

user3 Y/N PLS I CANNOT KEEP DEFENDING YOU GIRL

user4 y’all don’t even know the full story pls

user5 she’s such a slut

*comments have been disabled

ynuserupdates the tea is popping hot between these three! y/n rodrigo has now claimed that she has never had any romantic relationship with joshua basset…will sabrina carpenter clear the air between the situation??

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user1 she SPOKE on the situation??

↳ user2 yeah she went on a podcast

user3 oh shit

user4 this is why yall shouldn’t believe everything on the internet 😭

user5 poor y/n and sabrina :(

↳ user6 all over a guy too :(

user7 guys will always be the problem

ynuser i’m soooo excited to announce that i wrote a song called Can’t Catch Me Now for the new Hunger Games : The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes movie!!! 🕊️🐍🧡

view all comments

rachelzegler THATS MY GIRL!!!

user1 sis really said lemme just make the greatest comeback of all time

user2 oh she’s slaying ur honor

hunterschafer the best person who could’ve written a song for this movie

tomblyth so proud of you

user3 TOMS COMMENT OMG???

user4 i just KNOW this song is gonna be so good

user5 girl was probably finishing up writing this song when the whole sabrina and josh thing was going on 😭😭

thehungergames 🧡🧡🧡

ynuser life recently 🖤

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user1 Y/N WHOS THE BOY

rachelzegler SOFT LAUNCH I REPEAT SOFT LAUNCH

tomblyth cutie

❤️ by creator

↳ user2 SHUT UP OMG

user3 TOM AND Y/N????

user4 SOFT LAUNCH MY ASSSSS RACHEL

user5 pls wasn’t she just with that josh guy?

↳ user6 girl she went on a podcast and said it was a fake rumor

user7 oh this next album is gonna HIT

❤️ by creator

tomblyth premier day

tagged : @/ynuser , @/rachelzegler , @/hunterschafer , @/thehungergames

view all comments

ynuser hey that’s me!!!

ynuser took the last pic on tom’s phone

❤️ by creator

rachelzegler oh we ate that

user1 y’all SLAYEDDDD

user2 stream can’t catch me now yall ✌️

❤️ by creator

user3 y/n taking a .5 on tom’s phone is so cute

↳ user4 no literally they are my PARENTSSSS

user5 the girls are slaying ur honor

hunterschafer love you!!

tomblyth added to their story!

ynuser delicate mv out now!!

tagged : @/tomblyth

tomblyth i’m in love with you

↳ ynuser i love you more

user1 OH MY GODODJNSND

user2 AN ALBUM IS COMING

user3 BRO TOM BEING IN THE MUSIC VIDEO I CANT???

user4 NOW THIS WAS A HARD LAUNCH

rachelzegler omg the cats finally out of the bag I CAN TALK ABOUT THEM NOW

↳ ynuser PLSSSS sis was eager and almost spilled the beans like a week ago 😭

↳ rachelzegler i just LOVE YALL SO MUCH

hunterschafer such a perfect song for a perfect couple 🖤

user5 i cannot do this today

user6 joshua basset is def crying in the corner

↳ user7 NAH FR HE FUMBLED HER AND SABRINA

conangray ate

user8 y/n be so fr we been knew since the announcement of can’t catch me now

❤️ by creator

[wileys-russo]

I'm not sure if you listened, if not you should it's so funny!

but could you do the reader on Jill's scotts coffee club podcast with georgia, leah and keira when leah whips out the cake? x

decided to make this a lowkey stanners x williamson!reader cause i love gee and she's underrated

colin the caterpillar II g.stanway

"-williamson i see you loitering about! get in here!" you looked up as you heard the ever familiar booming voice of one jill scott gesture you over. you caught georgia's eye as her and keira swiveled their heads, furiously waving you over to join them on the sofa, the set for jills podcast randomly plonked in the middle of the indoor training pitch.

"have you still got media duties babe?" your girlfriend asked, moving the microphone away from her mouth and you shook your head. "right in you come then!" keira moved over and patted the space in between her and georgia.

"is this live?" you asked as you took a seat, flashing a grin at jill and ben as you settled yourself on the sofa, your girlfriends spare arm coming to settle on your shoulders. "-and now we are joined by one of the worlds greatest strikers!" jill started, doing a drum roll on her knees.

"-but unfortunately alessia russo has been dodging my calls so we've had to settle for y/n williamson, round of applause please!" jill joked as you playfully rolled your eyes at the dig, showered in claps from the small crowd around you.

"you know you've never asked me on this show jilly, what happened to being your favourite williamson?" you tutted, one of the production assistants hurrying over to give you a mic.

"i had to keep that under wraps, had to suck up to the captain you know!" jill winked as you grinned, leaning a little more into georgia and crossing your legs. "jill might be the best suck up with the worst success rate we've ever met." keira announced as you and georgia hummed in agreement, ben egging you on to continue.

"she sucked up to sarina and the training team so much during the euros man. she'd be getting drinks, recounting plays, grabbing everyone gels-" you laughed at the memory. "-but then georgia could be on her death bed with cramp and jill would still stay on the bench." keira finished, jill agreeing as you all laughed along.

"oh no sorry interruption cause leah's just bought a colin the caterpillar!" keira gasped as she spotted your sister wandering close by with her birthday cake in hand. "go on birthday girl in you come!" you called out as she came closer, jill eagerly agreeing she sit down.

"cmere love." georgias hands found your waist, tugging you up to sit sideways on her lap as keira shuffled across and leah plonked herself down on the end, your legs half draped over keira as georgias hands wound themselves round your waist protectively and she softly kissed the back of your neck.

you were aware parts of the podcast were filmed but neither of you were bothered, it had hardly been the worlds best kept secret the two of you were seeing one another.

georgias instagram was almost like a shrine to you at this point. the two of you both playing for bayern, much to your north london blooded sisters disgust, you spent everyday together and only fell more and more in love as time passed.

"can we eat it?" georgia asked with a gasp as leah nodded, cracking open the box and gently sliding out the childhood favourite. "i think surely i win best sister for gettin her that?" you clapped for yourself, everyone joining in but leah who rolled her eyes.

"no cause you gave it to me after you smashed a cupcake in my literal eye at breakfast!" leah huffed, handing over the cake to keira after she took a large. "it was your forehead leah honestly! you win most dramatic." you countered, the blonde leaning over to smack your leg for the comment as you grinned.

"now now girls play nice play nice!" jill laughed, re-directing the conversation as keira snapped you off a section of cake which you accepted, happily smashing a large portion into your mouth before holding it over your shoulder for your girlfriend to do the same.

"ah i've never been so happy." georgia sighed contently as the two of you took turns munching away at the chocolate cake. "babe thats my finger!" you smacked her with a yelp as the girl got a little too eager and bit your finger among the cake.

"sorry love, no one's safe when there's a colin round." georgia kissed your cheek in apology, happily accepting more of the cake from keira as your sister offered you her piece, grinning as you snapped off the ears with your teeth just like you'd both been brought up to.

"well this is definitely a highlight of the season. four of englands finest just sat here eating a caterpillar like an apple." ben sighed jokingly as the four of you giggled to yourselves, you leaning back into georgia and clutching your stomach as keira took a large bite right from the middle without a care in the world.

"lee five second rule!" you pointed, voice muffled by the large mouthful of cake shoved in it as your sister scrambled to pick up the piece which fell on the floor, blowing on it and popping it into her mouth with a grin.

"now i know this is audio but for the listeners at home they are literally just picking this cake up and shoving it in their mouth!" jill recounted, shaking her head at the sight. "they're eating it like its a hotdog or something!" ben added on as georgia fed you one of the legs with a giggle.

"that foot was incredible." you mumbled out with a happy sigh, still chewing on it as keira smacked your leg in agreement, opening her mouth to show you she also had one in her mouth as your head fell onto georgias shoulder, again clutching your stomach in laughter.

"imagine if sarina see's this that would be so good. we're over here talking about elite performance-" "-elite performance and now we're just picking up a caterpillar without a care-" "-yeah thats it girls, just shove it in your mush!"

"i eat a kitkat before every game anyway." you shrugged, bending down and snapping off another foot from the half in keiras hands. "do you really?" ben asked in surprise.

"she does! she's done it since she was little, used to throw tantrums like you wouldn't believe when our mum tried to stop her." leah smirked at the memory. "i really did. i'd just find out where she hid them and steal one, i'm too fast to catch anyway once she realised." you grinned once you'd swallowed your mouthful of cake.

"i always leave one in her boots for her to find when she's getting ready now at bayern. you should have seen how much crap she copped her first game, no one could believe she was eating a kitkat before her debut." georgia laughed as you fondly patted her knee.

"i run faster when i've had chocolate!" you shrugged, shovelling another mouthful of cake in as everyone laughed. "i mean the proofs in the pudding there wasn't a euros match i didn't see you not have one and you scored about ten goals!" jill laughed.

"could probablys run a 10K marathon right now, light work!" you teased with cake mushed in your mouth and a cheeky grin, georgia kissing your cheek with a smile as you used your thumb to wipe away some loose chocolate from the corner of her mouth before licking it off your finger with a wink.

"right i'm off!" leah announced a short moment later, standing to her feet and brushing the crumbs off her knee's. "am i taking it?" she gestured to the few small pieces left, packing it up at her friends nods.

"well. he were bloody lovely weren't he!"

[angelsdean]

listening to the one tree hill girls podcast and they're talking abt peyton making a mixtape for lucas and then went off on a tangent abt making mixtapes for their crushes irl and how that was such a Thing and especially how Long mixes took to make and how you'd just be sitting for hours trying to get the timing right on all the songs and hilarie talking abt mixtapes being her love language and i'm just !!! 🥰 literally Everyone involved with spn is of that generation who Know Exactly what mixtapes mean, esp in pop culture, the inherent romantic connotations. they all knew exactly what they were doing when they made teen in the 90s dean winchester give cas that mixtape !!!!

[cryptidcr3ature]

Modern Au RDR2 Headcannons (Arthur, John, Charles, Mary-Beth, and Micah.)

Arthur:

TikTok icon. He has a nature survival account, but most of his followers just think he’s funny. He’s got like 500k followers and they quote his quips DAILY.

Zach Bryan and Noah Kahan fanboy.

Starts twitter beefs. He’s on his third account because how often he’s been banned.

Drives a classic car and talks to it like a person. You treat her (the car) with respect.

He’s a safe person to hold your drink at a party.

John:

Cracked phone screen that he refuses to fix.

Goes to the AITA subreddit every time he gets into an argument.

Listens to underground folk punk and massively judged you if you don’t listen. Like “You don’t listen to Sister Wife Sex Strike! Have you ever heard music?”

Posts one good picture on instagram and the rest are stupid stolen memes.

Takes .5 pictures of all his friends.

Charles:

World’s slowest typer. Takes him 30 minutes to type a sentence.

Almost no social media presence. He got facebook to keep contact with Arthur and has never even posted on his page.

Wears headphones EVERYWHERE and gets mad when people try to talk over the headphones.

Big fan of slow, sad music but also has a guilty pleasure of Pierce The Veil.

Hoodie central. He’s the guy with a million hoodies and will share if necessary.

Mary-Beth:

Prolific fan fiction writer. Girl would literally write on a Samsung smart fridge if she had to.

Cries at movies no matter how sad they are.

Collects scented candles. Her room is a fire hazard.

Lana Del Ray and Taylor Swift enjoyer.

Tutors kids at the library.

Micah:

Also frequently on the AITA subreddit and calls people soft when they comment YTA.

Has a dude bro podcast where he calls himself an alpha male.

Body shames women on TikTok and claims he’s “looking out for their health.”

Listens to bro country.

Religiously watches Logan and Jake Paul.

[inhibitionfreewriting]

how about u figure out hasan has feelings for u because of a friendgroup/streamer/podcast secret santa???????

oh my god

okay but imagine finding out through someone else who was at the Secret Santa. it's no secret to your friend that you and Hasan have been hitting it off and talking more lately when he's been free, but it's so hard to tell if he's flirting or just being him. you've seen how he interacts with everyone, it's just his friendship.

but when the party is over (you only know because Hasan texts you something about getting home late and seeing you tomorrow at the gym) your friend calls you and starts frantically talking

"i have the juiciest gossip in the world, listen, okay so we were doing the secret santa right"

"right"

"hasan apparently had me and he got me a scarf, it's actually really cute and it's my favorite shade of-"

"the gossip girl get to it"

"right sorry, anyway, he gave me a second gift, and it's for you. he thought you were going to be here tonight, and it came with a card and i tried so hard not to look"

"oh my god"

"it's literally asking you out on a date but i'm not going to see you until thursday so i figured you'd rather know now and not then"

" oh my god i- what are you, you're lying right? this is a shitty prank"

"please i'd never lie and hurt your feelings like that, hold on" within a few seconds you had a picture of the card that was indeed in hasan's hand writing and asking you on a date "see?"

and then sitting with that all night and you can't sleep because of the excitement to see him tomorrow at the gym and tell him yes yes yes you'd go out on a date with him.

[punkeropercyjackson]

🌊Percy Jackson headcanons🌊

Inspo from @jellyfilledeyes !!

���Afro-dominican.Monoracial darkskin and super strongfeatured,he literally looks exactly like Poseidon the 'lightskin Percy' crowd is illiterate.Full name Perseo Isadore Jackson

🌊Autistic.He's also literally the protagonist of the neurodivergent abuse victims series,y'all's denial is deeper than the sea

🌊Transfem bigender.Any pronouns + A hoard of neos and was on estrogen for a while but got no surgeries for extra gender fuckery

🌊Afrosolarpunk and knows how to diy things that don't even exist,does activism/charity and goes to riots/protests,is a straightedge and listens to Mcr,Teezo Touchdown,Megan Thee Stallion,Alt Black Era,The Cure and Meet Me @ The Altar

🌊Cut ties with Annabeth by Boo.Percabeth is 'destiny' by virtue of cisheteronormativity and amatonormativity textually and book!Annabeth is a bad person who needs to leave her alone for both their own good's

🌊Weird/niche interests king.She's into obscure podcasts,indie games,underrated cartoons,cult classic movies and non-corny musicals

🌊Was a Warrior Cats and Bubble Guppies kid

🌊Huge Superfam fan.That's why they compared Jason to Clark Kent as a compliment and knows like all the lore

🌊Platonic soulmates by choice in every universe with Nico and Hazel.Them and Nico spent the year gap between Botl and Tlo bonding and in Son Hazel turned them into a trio and Sally legally adopts her like she did Nico.Percy is their eldest brother and pseudo-dad

🌊Super into kidcore as trauma coping and also due to autism

🌊Loves Cotton Candy Bang,double cheeseburgers with loaded fries and blue flan

🌊Queerplatonic best friends with Rachel and their connection came from her being autistic too and never meeting anyone like her before him.She's a trans punk like her too and helped her transition and she basically lives at La Residencia Jackson part time

🌊Sally opened up a family bussiness:Familia Jackson Beach Shack.That's where his money comes from

🌊Except for Nico's chronic pain meds and mobility aids,which he guilttrips Poseidon for

🌊And Hazel gets to live the happy friendfilled childhood he didn't with his help

🌊Lego lover,Animal Crossing and Pokemon understander and Hot Topic hater

🌊Only part of Marvel he cares about is Spiderverse and his favorite Spiderpeople are Hobie Brown and Gwen Stacy because they're too much like her not to be

🌊Nico got him into cozy horror and Hazel got him into MLP(his favorite ponies are Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy and he knows Flutterdash is real and Wendell & Wild is his movie of all time)

🌊Unironically plays Fortnite

🌊His piercings are a standard eyebrow piercing,forward helix on both ears,a spider bite and a tongue ring

🌊Sharks are superior in his opinion

🌊Killed Luke and slowly did a revolution in the greco-roman mythos world with that as what got to ball rolling but it really hit when he killed Zeus a year post Hoo

🌊Supposed to have been Special ED to make friends and school easier but had a such a big meltdown when Sally offered at his 9 years old because his internalized ableism was already so bad and to this day they both regret it and wonder what could've been

🌊Underground shows and parties Percy's beloved

🌊Goes on petty crime sprees for fun and letting frustation out

🌊If Rick wasn't a pussy,his girlfriend would've been a sugary sweet but powerful asf black pastel punk girl who's got the same of sense of humor as him and undooms him from the narrative against everyone's pressured expectations(Ichihime dynamic is perfect for Percy)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi sex witch! i'm fifteen and bisexual (probably? i've never actually been into a guy irl lol) and every time i look at a girl and find her attractive i feel really guilty about it and like i'm a pervert. like, god forbid i look at her boobs or literally anything that i find attractive about her and i feel like a huge pervert. i don't think this is internalized homophobia because i was raised in an incredibly supportive household and knew about gay people and stuff from an early age. do you like. have advice?

hi anon,

great bad news: that's still internalized homophobia.

internalized bigotry doesn't have to come from any particular source; the bigotry is baked into the very society we live in, no matter how accepting and affirming our personal upbringing was. even if you're raised by caregivers who actively give you messages to counteract these messages - hell, even if your caregivers are part of the same marginalized group(s) as you - they can't totally stop the worst messages from seeping in, because parents and caregivers are hardly ever the only source of information that a child has. perhaps the most obvious example would be that many children of color, even when they're raised by adults of the same racial identity, internalize racist ideas about themselves because white supremacy is fucking everywhere.

the point being: when gay people feel yucky and evil for experiencing gay attraction, yes, that is internalized homophobia. you're not bad or dumb for falling victim to it; it's just a thing that sadly happen to a lot of people who exist outside of acceptable parameters of society. society wants us to be "normal" and, failing that, to hate ourselves for being different, and there's a lot of pressure behind it!

listen: being attracted to girls is normal. it's not creepy and you're not a pervert. you're allowed to look at other girls and want to date them, kiss them, fuck them, whatever. none of those things are weird or bad, all of that's allowed.

and you can remind yourself of that all you want, but in my experience one of the best ways to help alleviate anxiety about the way you think or feel about something is to just immerse yourself in settings where that's normal. finding other gay people to hang out with is best, but music, TV, movies, books, youtube, social media personalities, podcasts, etc - all of these are venues to finding people who talk about being into women like it's a fine and normal and good thing. go immerse yourself, bby.

[lowkeyrobin]

Heyy, Ghostbusters preference- when they get jealous?

ooo okay ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!

GHOSTBUSTERS ; jealousy

includes ; trevor, phoebe, podcast & lucky

warnings ; language

masterlist

TREVOR

he's so awkward about it

he doesn't even know what to do at first like... fuck you want him to do??

he doesn't even realize someone's trying to hit on you til you give him the most pleading look of all time

and he literally has to run every scenario through his brain to figure out what to do without getting sucker punched

he's just not a jealous person in general either, half of its obliviousness, half of its just the trust he has in you because he knows you aren't gonna leave him. maybe

if it's going on to long he'll slide in, introduce himself as "Trevor Spengler, one of the Ghostbusters" and hopes it'll impress the other person enough to just leave you alone

90% of the time they just leave because Trev is too awkward to just say "Hey I'm their boyfriend, leave them alone please" lmaoo

PHOEBE

she literally doesn't know what to do bro

like on one hand maybe she's being dramatic but on the other why the hell is someone else talking to you like that???

she's autistic and it's very obvious (this isn't even a hc I'm pretty sure it's actually canon + her being queer yipee) and can sometimes be very blunt or awkward

"can you stop talking to them like that? thank you." while she's got this serious bitch face on

the person quickly scurries away and you're just relieved while she's like confused and a bit upset but doesn't know how to explain it

"pheebs, I'm not leaving you, don't worry. thank you though, i didn't know how to get them to go away"

she gives you a little hug to just silently tell you "Okay, thank you, I'm sorry"

PODCAST

LUCKY

just kinda stands there like 🧍‍♂️

kinda tries to sling his arm around your shoulders and signal that you were not up to hang out later

and somehow the person just doesn't get it!!

"Okay, uh, they have a boyfriend! they don't wanna hang out with you, please listen to them, thanks"

the person scrambles and he's just like "what the fuck I thought you loved me" in a joking manner

you both go get some candy down the street because that was awful for both of you LMFAO

she's a confident bad bitch okay...

hugs you from behind, arms around your waist and her head resting on top of yours/your shoulder

"Hey, please listen to people when they say they don't want to talk to you, take a hint. they have a girlfriend"

literally a life saver

lucky domingo is a mindset

"I don't understand, why can't people just listen??"

honestly same girl

she's always coming in clutch tho, ain't no way she's letting someone bother you, especially when she's jealous of the fact you're giving them attention

[jeankirsteinsgirl]

The AOT Guys on Your Period

a/n: I'm on my period rn and its so awful and just wanted to imagine what the aot guys would be like when reader is on their period <33

CW: fem reader, pure fluff, periods (duh), slight mention of blood

Jean:

Literally the sweetest

totally watched a bunch of youtube videos and listened to podcasts about the "female experience" so he can try to understand what you're going through

"I'm right here baby, I'll lay with you as long as you want" then proceeding to let you be the little spoon all night long

gives you the best back rubs when you're cramping to soothe your muscles

Puts on your favorite movie to distract you

Lets you cuddle into him while watching said movie and strokes your hair the entire time

just the most gentle ever.

soft delicate touches, he's scared of accidentally hurting you when you're on your period

Would stop by the store after work to get you flowers and chocolate becuase he knows it's a rough time for you.

Your favorite kind of flowers of course (he knows all of your favorite things bc he's so thoughtful)

Constantly compliments you because he knows you feel disgusting

"No baby I mean it, you're so beautiful like this"

"There's no better feeling than having you lay on my chest"

"I can't believe I have the most beautiful girl in the entire world"

His big strong hands rubbing little circles on your belly omg

Would run you a hot bath for your cramps (see soft jean for more ;)

bought you one of those stuffed animals that you heat up for cramps and was so excited to give it to you.

Literally smiling like a 5-year-old when he told you he had a surprise for you and got so excited when you like his present.

only calls you babe and baby because he doesn't wanna accidentally hurt your feelings by calling you by your name

looks like a big teddy bear, is a big teddy bear

snuggles all the time

always worried about you

would definitely be one of those guys with an "i love my hot girlfriend shirt"

Eren:

Likes to joke about you being on your period when you're off of it but is always super considerate when you're on it

"Ts okay babe I'm right here" while he kisses your forehead to make you feel better.

Drapes a blanket around you on the couch to make sure you're comfortable

brings you food from your favorite restaurant to make you feel better

knows what you order of course, he pays attention

Frowns and acts all tough when you call him a cutie pie

"I am not. I'm just being a good boyfriend- I'm tough okay"

sure

You have ex fuckboy Eren totally wrapped around your finger

He's literally at your beck and call, not because you asked him to be but because he's so in love with you that he just wants to do all the sweet cheesy things with you

Would never admit all the cute things he does for you in front of his friends

Used to be a firm believer that getting kicked in the balls hurt more than period cramps until he met you and you changed his ways

lets you hold his hand and squeeze it when you're in pain

If you get nauseous he stays up with you all night, telling you little stories to distract you

Reluctantly holds your hair back when you throw up

Gives you his clothes to sleep in because they're looser and more comfy.

Adores seeing you walk around in his t-shirts and pajama pants becuase they're so big and it's so cute

the next time he wears them they smell like you

Would offer to rub your back but can't do it without getting horny so he doesn't :(

"Hey a real soldier isn't afraid to get blood on his sword that's all im saying..."

Levi:

Just like Eren in the way that he acts super tough most of the time, even more than Eren.

Rarely calls you cute names like "baby, honey, sweetheart" but totally does when you're on your period

The fact that it's so rare for him to do this makes it even more special when he does

Makes you blush every time

Would hold your hand as often as possible, rubbing little circles into it with his thumb

Not a fan of PDA but would hold your hand in public and let you kiss him on the cheek

If you're feeling especially emotional that day he'd put his arm around you and rub little circles into your shoulder with his slender fingers

Shows his affection in the most subtle ways

Would go grocery shopping bc you were out of food and come back with a stuffed animal he thought you might like from the store

"Yeah whatever, 'ts not a big deal just thought you might think it's cute"

You would wrap him in a bear hug and he would secretly blush, determined to maintain his "tough guy" exterior

Would'nt pick up food for you but would cook for you instead

Your favorite food of course

Doesn't get horny easily like a teenage boy so he could give you a massage whenever you wanted wherever you wanted

would offer to get things for you so you don't have to leave bed

Loves being the big spoon and would be wrapped around you all night

Like I said earlier, when you're on your period he tries to subtly be more sweet (he thinks you don't notice)

speaks so much more softly to you when you're on your period

is just more gentle in general

you're so needy for him both emotionally and physically and you'd want to be wrapped around him all week

and he'd let you

Armin:

Ik I said Jean's the sweetest but I changed my mind its Armin

THE CUTEST EVER

super smart so never had the misconception that periods were a walk in the park

knows all about hormonal cycles and how things would affect you differently

"I got you some dark chocolate, it's really good for soothing the cramps because of the high concentration of magnesium which eases the uterine lining so-"

"Thank you Armin" is all you'd say and giggle at the research he put into helping you

Constantly touching you, not in a sexual way but in a romantic, protective way

Holding your hand, arm around your shoulders, forehead kisses, cheek kisses, his hand on your knee when you're sitting down.

Constantly checking in on you making sure you're okay

always asking you to tell him how you're feeling and what specifically was wrong, kind of annoying but very endearing.

Would sit with you and watch whatever you wanted all day as long as it made you happy.

Would bring you whatever you want. Coffee? picked up. Blanket? on your lap. Heating pad? Plugged in. Takeout? Ordered already.

Genuinely the most thoughtful boyfriend

does everything you want before you even have to ask him it's like he reads your mind

Lets you lay on his chest and fall asleep, not moving until you wake up on your own even if his arm is asleep

Whispers sweet nothings in your ear when he thinks you're asleep but sometimes you hear them

"You're the most beautiful girl in the world, I'm so lucky to have someone like you"

"Watching you sleep takes my breath away every time"

CEO of cheesy love-sick boyfriend

Reiner:

Acts like Levi on the outside is actually Armin on the inside

Always so worried about you all the time, ESPECIALLY on your period

hates seeing you in pain so does whatever he can to make it better

constantly reminding you to take advil

one of those boyfriends who thinks drinking water will make it better "Just try it babe it can't hurt. It works, I saw it on TikTok"

Totally captivated by you

actually thinks you're really pretty on your period bc he loves seeing your natural beauty

picks you up to carry you to bed so you don't have to walk

Gets you flowers as often as he can to remind you how much he loves you

clueless about periods but very enthusiastic!

"I was talking to Armin and he said vitamin C was good so I got you a bunch of oranges from the store!"

thanks babe...?

Always calls you babe or baby, sometimes princess

you're mainly princess on your period, he wants to make sure you feel special

adores cuddling it's like his favorite thing ever and is so excited when you want to cuddle more because you're on your period

loves feeling how small you are against him and smelling your hair as you're curled into his chest

so possessive

would buy you things constantly

his love language is definitely gift-giving and physical touch

smothers you with hug all. the. time.

not opposed to period sex

would share a hot shower with you to ease your cramps

he'd wash your body for you and kiss the top of your head and your shoulders

would kiss every inch of your body to make you feel beautiful

the most protective boyfriend in the aot universe I said what I said

looks like a big scary grizzly bear on the outside but is a teddy bear on the inside just for you

[shitswiftiessay]

Swifties are PAINFULLY fucking stupid.

I shouldn’t be getting THIS heated over a Disney comparison but the Kristoff slander is absolutely fucking wild. Kristoff (at least in the first movie) is both poor and an introvert. Those are two things that swifties HATE Joe for. He also had to work since he was a child, which is something swifties make fun of Joe for- calling him yogurt boy. And he DEFINITELY would think that award shows are stupid.

Hans is much more like Travis in the fact that he pursued a woman for his own gain. Whereas Kristoff was just trying to live his life and didn’t even WANT to get involved in Anna’s shit, Hans wanted to become king, so he pursued Anna (a naive and desperate young woman- which is what swifties are trying to paint Taylor as) and made himself look like her dream guy- “true love.”

Last summer, Travis publicly and relentlessly pursued Taylor with his story about how he tried to give her a friendship bracelet with his number. And he’s been reaping the benefits of dating Taylor Swift, he’s got new TV gigs, his podcast shot up on the charts, and he might even be getting his own reality show.

He tried to pass himself off as a fan, Even though he’s blatantly obvious that he DOESN’T listen to her music. But his little pretend act of being a fan charmed the shit out of swifties and made them believe he was her Prince Charming. All he has to do is that stupid 🫶 thing and he’s got the swifties swooned, much like Hans had Anna swooned from the minute he met her. But his intentions were completely self-serving.

And another thing I find interesting is the fact that Hans proposed to Anna a few hours after meeting her. IF ANYTHING, that couple is literally a lesson on NOT marrying a guy you just met. And yet, Swifties have been talking about Taylor marrying Travis since that first football game-even BEFORE then.

But Joe, the guy who didn’t want to marry taylor, is just like Hans? The one who was in a long term relationship that ultimately didn’t work out is JUST LIKE HANS??

It beggars belief how swifties could be so stupid, because they either didn’t watch the movie, didn’t fully understand it (because they are less cognitively capable than 5 year olds), or they’re so addicted to painting Joe as this cartoonist Disney villain in their heads that they think it’s perfectly reasonable to compare Joe to a character that was trying to KILL his fiancée and her sister.

I the stupidity of comparing Taylor Swift to Anna- a girl who’s been isolated in a castle for most of her life and has ZERO relationship experience - I think she’s supposed to be like 18 or something? Very young and inexperienced and naive. Taylor was 26 years old when she started dating Joe and she had plenty of relationship experience before then.

Taylor literally wrote MASTERMIND, but swifties still see her as this naive and innocent disney princess who is easily manipulated and taken advantage of by men. So I guess they think it’s a reasonable comparison because they understand disney movies as well as they understand Taylor’s lyrics- which is NOT AT ALL.