#literally fascist rhetoric it's kind of wild
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lesbian-gene-wolfe · 5 months ago
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talking to people online is like
me: "yeah i really like the murder manga, the one with cannibalism, the one where the mother commits atrocities and its like a mystery-"
idiot who had never read a real book: "yeah i love that one it's so messed up and interesting"
me: "-the bullying flower one and also the age gap/incest romance one"
idiot: "you should fucking kill yourself that's child porn/grooming material/etc"
meanwhile i have books from the last two centuries on my shelf that cover all these topics and more into way more detail that no one seems to view as "immoral."
by the way if you view some books as immoral and needing destroyed, you're a fascist! google Bücherverbrennung. if you think some topics are only for "degenerates" or call people that, guess what! i think you get the point.
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swolesome · 8 months ago
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What if I told you that the antidote to Islamophobia isn't Antisemitism?
CW for this post (you have seen the title.) I feel like this shouldn't need explaining, but merciful Brigid, some of the shit I have seen. It's time for Led Tasso to come out. I'm not Jewish, let's just get that out of the way first, but my position on Palestine is largely informed by Jewish people who have been protesting for decades about the horrific treatment of Palestinians being done by a settler colonial state appropriating their religion, culture, language, and trauma. Fascist governments weaponizing fear and hiding behind religion is a well known tactic, and the fact that so many people have put this readily available information from their minds, specifically in this conversation, speaks to how incredibly pernicious antisemitism really is. I'm treading lightly here because as someone who's not Jewish, it really isn't my place to explain the cultural complexities, trauma, or general experiences of Jewish people. But if you haven't seen those discussions crossing your feed, you should be looking inward and asking why. Because if you're not invested in Jewish voices right now (or in general), that's a red flag for the kind of rhetoric you've internalized and the struggles you take seriously. The position I can speak from, however, is one of being committed to challenging all forms of systemic violence and oppression. So from that stance, and I cannot stress this enough: If you are fighting for some at cost to others, you are reinforcing oppression. It is wild to me that "Nazi" has come to mean "The worst thing a person can be" without recognition of the fact that the ideology is inherently antisemitic, that this is its centrepiece, that Jews are the number one target. This separation is, once again, an example of how insidious this brand of hatred really is--blatant erasure of the way Jewish people are uniquely targeted. I know a lot of trans people follow me, so here's a fun fact: You know the "Doctors are transing our kids to damage fertility rates!" conspiracy? You can thank antisemitism for that, too! It's literally just a rebrand of the Great Replacement conspiracy, which is modernized "protection of Aryan bloodlines." The most recent chapter of "My Life as A Bigot" by Joanne Klan Rowling isn't just another gleeful display of her hatred of trans people, it's another addition to the laundry list of antisemitic beliefs and talking points she's been peddling for years. The Charlottesville "unite the right" Nazi rally was spurred on by the removal of confederate statues and anti-Black racism. What is it they were chanting, again? Anyone remember? Any of this ringing a bell? OH RIGHT. "Jews will not replace us." So many other forms of systemic violence are steeped in the poisonous rhetoric of antisemitism. Acting like this isn't the case damns our Jewish siblings who need us while weakening our understanding of the oppressive forces we're fighting. "One struggle" includes all of us. The fact that the Likud government uses accusations of antisemitism as a cover for their violence should make you more diligent about condemning antisemitism, not less. Because letting them weaponize something that is already so widespread and destructive makes it that much harder to dismantle.
Do not stop talking about Palestine. Do not stop speaking up against the horrors of settler colonial violence. But if you can't do this without throwing another group of oppressed people under the bus, you need to question where you learned your resistance tactics, because the company you're keeping there should disgust and terrify you.
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thatheathen · 3 years ago
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TERF’s are insufferable antagonistic cyber harassers.
This type anti-trans rhetoric by these hateful fake feminists are why trans youth want to commit suicide or what increases their depression. This targeted cyber-bullying doesn’t “detransition” anyone as that population is in the 0.00 bracket which isn’t growing as like they you to believe.
Isn’t that their goal to get trans kids to de-transition? Do all you ghoulish transphobes want trans youth to harm themselves? You’re part of the problem if that’s the case. It’s not up to you in how others see or express themselves that isn’t harming anyone else. Being trans is not inherently dangerous in any way. TERF rhetoric and their hate mobs are dangerous. White Supremacists are dangerous. Conservatives and GOP members who commit more sexual assaults in bathrooms are dangerous. Proud Boys literally call for violence on trans women and TERF’s are ok with that.
And this isn’t my view here it’s just a fact; TERF’s are actively contributing to the transgender violence they believe they’re not apart of — as the transphobia, transmisogyny, transmisandry, and misogyny towards any kind of cisgender women is all violence. It leads to suicide, suicide attempts, or murder.
Bigots of all stripes are only getting more aggressive as LGBTQ rights become more established. This to TERF’s is oppression or erasing what it is to be a man or woman. Imagine that? Imagine thinking trans adults and non-binary teens have any structural power over anyone else? Wild huh?
That’s the difference between us and the TERF/Gender Critical hate groups. We’re not trying to erase anyone’s identity by using the state or harass them into self-harm online based on their gender expression. We don’t do this as much as Dave Chappelle wants you to believe. And to my mind (at least) any hate group disguised as some justifiable force of good, or legitimate movement, that targets marginalized groups do not deserve any civility.
You are not obligated to interact with hateful people or convert them. Tell them to fuck off. That doesn’t make you mean or a cruel person. I get enough threats from terfs and other transphobes to know there’s nothing I could do or say that can match a TERF’s or literal fascist’s privileged position of power. It’s just not the same. They make this evident and clear with their own words.
TERF’s are a hate group. TERF is fascist, it’s in the DNA. TERF’s perpetuate transgender violence through their cyber bullying, going onto rightwing media, and spreading misinformation about trans women specifically building fear into people who are probably genuinely curious to learn about trans people. Especially curious parents who only want what’s best for their kid. But some will stumble across PragerU anti-trans videos that are full of anti-science and meager research deliberately lying for profit and to stir up controversy in hopes policies are written amongst the culture war nonsense. TERF’s are vile bigots and are not just bigots towards queer folk. Remember that.
TERFS will NOT erase us [trans people], but we will erase and smash their toxic violent ideology enough to where all transphobes will feel unsafe to be so cruel and and spew all this hate; a projection of their insecurities. Transphobes ought to be fearful of getting charged with hate crimes or fired from their job cuz nobody wants a hateful weirdo running amok in polite society. Watch as they take “smashing TERF ideology” as “violence against cis women” binding their body and gender into transphobia as if it’s a personality trait. I see through you.
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maxwell-grant · 3 years ago
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Having seen your thoughts on his deeply-unpleasant daddy, might I please ask if you have any thoughts on The Gladiator himself, Hugo Danner? (THE SUPERMAN WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN, if you will).
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What would you do if you were the strongest man in the world, the strongest thing in the world, mightier than the machine? He made himself guess answers for that rhetorical query. "I would—I would have won the war. But I did not. I would run the universe single-handed. Literally single-handed. I would scorn the universe and turn it to my own ends. I would be a criminal. I would rip open banks and gut them. I would kill and destroy. I would be a secret, invisible blight. I would set out to stamp crime off the earth; I would be a super-detective, following and summarily punishing every criminal until no one dared to commit a felony. What would I do? What will I do?"
The thing that strikes me about Gladiator is that it almost feels like the book is unfinished. The quality and pace of the book is all over the place, but you can boil it's general story down to "unlucky bastard is born Superman before it's time for Superman to exist, without the necessary support, mindset and structure to become Superman, in a world that neither supports nor accepts the existence Superman, and just as he's about to have the life-changing epiphany that could make him something, he gets struck by lightning and dies in the 2nd-to-last paragraph".
The whole book is like if in the first Spider-Man story Peter Parker just gave up after Uncle Ben died and we never saw him again. It's a superhero/supervillain origin story that gets cut short right as it's about to lead to the birth of the character proper. It's frustrating, yes, but to my scavenger goblin brain that likes to dig through pop culture's trash to find nice forgotten trinkets to polish and make into something new, it also invites a lot of promise, if we get into the question of what could have happened to Hugo Danner if he didn't die on the cusp of his origin story. It's an idea I plan to use for my own pulp writings.
It's not so much whether or not Hugo MIGHT have been Superman, so much as: COULD he be Superman? Maybe, maybe not. I'd argue not, because even with all his power, and even with his parents trying to raise him as best they could, even with Hugo genuinely trying his best to be good and heroic and turn his gifts to mankind, it wasn't gonna pan out. The right pieces weren't there, the family structure wasn't there, the necessary aspects of the origin story weren't there, and ultimately, Hugo Danner wasn't cut for it. He is a failure at everything he tries to be super at.
At college on the football field, he kills a man. As a soldier on the Great War, he slaughters thousands for years, but fails to end the war, despite having been able to do so from the moment he enlisted. He is fired from a steel mill for working too far beyond the abilities of his fellows, and then fired from a bank for freeing a man from a locked safe, because the bank president suspected that Danner planned to use his powers to rob the vault. He tries using his powers to enact social change and fails again and again. He can't even enjoy daily life, because he cannot compete fairly with ordinary people, and because of that he must constantly hold himself in check, never able to fully express himself. And when he's presented with the idea of creating a race of people like him to dominate the world and to “conquer and stamp out all these things to which men of intelligence object,” he finds it ultimately distasteful, because he knows better than to expect good things to come out of his life. And then he curses God and dies. The whole book is one long argument as to why Being Superman Sucks.
He's not the break from tradition that Superman represented, he's a sci-fi superman who met the same tragic ending his predecessors did. In that paragraph above, the very first thing he thinks about, after remarking over his failure to end the war, is thinking about becoming some galactic dictator murdering everyone who steps out of line, before he considers becoming a fascist super-detective. Kind of a damning perspective to present your hero, isn't it? If Gladiator was released today, exactly as is, people would be quick to assume it's an origin story for a Homelander/Plutonian/Omni-Man kind of character. Hugo Danner was a Superman deconstruction before that became a pop culture cliche.
My favorite sections of the book are those that describe Hugo in the war. By far the best-written and most evocative, almost bordering on horror story. And they may be the most damning sections of them all. He never forgives himself for not ending the war when he could, because he's spent all those years killing and toiling away when he was just about the one person who could conceivably leap all the way to Germany and force the war to end. I imagine a lot of pulp heroes who suffered in the war, or any war, and walked out of it with a resolve to protect and do good by others, would be pretty pissed when discovering that, all along, there was this living god among them who actually could have ended the war single-handedly, but was just too damn busy slaughtering his way through fields of people who couldn't possibly fight back, to think about it.
And for all that Hugo says that he hates war and murder and bloodshed, he sure seems like a total natural for it:
Hugo, out of his scarlet fury, had one glimpse of his antagonist's face and person. The glimpse was but a flash. He was a little man—a foot shorter than Hugo. His eyes looked out from under his helmet with a sort of pathetic earnestness. And he was worried, horribly worried, standing there with his rifle lifted and trying to remember the precise technique of what would follow even while he fought back the realization that it was hopeless.
In that split second Hugo felt a human, amazing urge to tell him that it was all right, and that he ought to hold his bayonet a little higher and come forward a bit faster. The image faded back to an enemy. Hugo acted mechanically from the rituals of drill. His own knife flashed. He saw the man's clothes part smoothly from his bowels, where the point had been inserted, up to the gray-green collar. The seam reddened, gushed blood, and a length of intestine slipped out of it.
Hugo stepped over him. He was trembling and nauseated. The bellow of battle returned to Hugo's ears. He pushed back the threatening rifle easily and caught the neck in one hand, crushing it to a wet, sticky handful. So he walked through the trench, a machine that killed quickly and remorselessly
Hugo was learning about war. He thought then that the task which he had set for himself was not altogether to his liking. There should be other and more important things for him to do. He did not like to slaughter individuals. The day passed like a cycle in hell. No change in the personnel except that made by an occasional death. No food. No water. They seemed to be exiled by their countrymen in a pool of fire and famine and destruction.
And then later, after they kill a friend of his
He leaped to the parapet, shaking his fists. "God damn you dirty sons of bitches. I'll make you pay for this. You got him, got him, you bastards! I'll shove your filthy hides down the devil's throat and through his guts". He did not feel the frantic tugging of his fellows. He ran into that bubbling, doom-ridden chaos, waving his arms and shouting maniacal profanities. A dozen times he was knocked down. He bled slowly where fragments had battered him. He crossed over and paused on the German parapet. He was like a being of steel. Barbed wire trailed behind him.
Bayonets rose. Hugo wrenched three knives from their wielders in one wild clutch. His hands went out, snatching and squeezing. That was all. No weapons, no defence. Just—hands. Whatever they caught they crushed flat, and heads fell into those dreadful fingers, sides, legs, arms, bellies. Bayonets slid from his tawny skin, taking his clothes. By and by, except for his shoes, he was naked. His fingers had made a hundred bunches of clotted pulp and then a thousand as he walked swiftly forward in that trench. Ahead of him was a file of green; behind, a clogged row of writhing men. Scarcely did the occupants of each new traverse see him before they were smitten. The wounds he inflicted were monstrous. On he walked, his voice now stilled, his breath sucking and whistling through his teeth, his hands flailing and pinching and spurting red with every contact. No more formidable engine of desolation had been seen by man, no more titanic fury, no swifter and surer death. For thirty minutes he raged through that line. The men thinned. He had crossed the attacking front.
A man dipped in scarlet, nude, dripping, panting. Slowly in that hiatus he wheeled. His lungs thundered to the French. "Come on, you black bastards. I've killed them all. Come on. We'll send them down to hell."
And years later, when he's thinking back to the misery that had been his life:
His deeds frightened men or made them jealous. When he conceived a fine thing, the masses, individually or collectively, transformed it into something cheap. His fort in the forest had been branded a hoax. His effort to send himself through college and to rescue Charlotte from an unpleasant life had ended in vulgar comedy. Even that had been her triumph, her hour, and an incongruous strain of greatness had filtered through her personality rather than his. Now his years in the war were reduced to no grandeur, to a mere outlet for his savage instinct to destroy. After such a life, he reflected, he could no longer visualize himself engaged in any search for a comprehension of real values.
If he could but have ended the war single-handed, it might have been different. But he was not great enough for that. He had been a thousand men, perhaps ten thousand, but he could not be millions. He could not wrap his arms around a continent and squeeze it into submission. There were too many people, and they were too stupid to do more than fear him and hate him. Sitting there, he realized that his naïve faith in himself and the universe had foundered. The war was only another war that future generations would find romantic to contemplate and dull to study. He was only a species of genius who had missed his mark by a cosmic margin.
Even when he's thinking about the places where he went wrong, that he blames himself for, even when's engaged in introspection, his thoughts still gravitate towards violence and hatred, of squeezing continents into submission and of how much the masses are stupid to not appreciate him (because really, all Hugo wants is to be loved and appreciated for what he is), and how unlucky he was to miss his mark.
There's just no place for Hugo Danner. Maybe it was actually rather merciful that he got to have his misery ended briefly by lightning strikes, before he could either turn into something worse, or have his life ruined more throughly.
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smokeybrand · 4 years ago
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D-Day
The impeachment trial to convict Trump for, you know, inciting a treasonous insurrection a month and two days ago, started in the US Senate and I'm curious how many of these spineless assholes are going to give him a pass. The procedural rhetoric has already started with the whole "dividing the country" bullsh*t and "Impeaching a president after he left office is unconstitutional" dog whistling, both of which are falsehoods. The majority of the country, according to polling so take that as you may, wants to see Trump convicted and there is precedent for trying a senior government official, which the position of President is, after they've left office. Its already happened, just not for the president, himself.
Beyond that, this trial isn't to kick him out of office, it's for the other stuff. It's to disqualify this asshole from any government office for the rest of his life. It's to remove all of the ex-presidential perks that will cost us, the tax payers, the rest of his life like the presidential salary and secret service installation. Considering he's going to live at Mar-a-Lago, we'd have to pay for those rooms AND their salary because that's exactly what we were forced to do when he was president. That sh*t was six hundred, fifty dollars a night, for each cat. We paid for that. We'll have to pay for that for the rest of his life, or as long as he lives in Florida. If, you know, the treason wasn't enough to sway your opinion, how about the bold theft out of your coffers?
I don't have confidence that we'll get a conviction. This sh*t is too politicized and most of the Right is too dumb to look past their stupid f*cking feelings. They've proven that time and time again. There is a reason why these cats vote against their own interests every election. There's a reason why the vast majority of them are the worst kind of Christians, buying into that crazed evangelical, televangelist, horsesh*t. There's a reason why they took that QANON sh*t hook, line, and sinker. I mean, these motherf*ckers boldly, proudly, claim to be anti-intellectual. That's something to be revered because you're a "free thinker" and unfettered by the lies of the liberal media of fact. Fake new and all that sh*t. That's the constituency these Senators are trying to placate to keep their jobs. There's no way these cowards go against that level of ridiculous if they want to make a career in the Senate, which says just SO much about the current Republican party. All that said, i am okay with this.
With the exclusion of literal crazy people, i have the utmost confidence we won't elect Trump in 2024. That's four years away and, with the exception for the most ardent Trumpist, his whole wave of nationalistic poison seems to be on a downward trend. Boebert only won her seat with fifty-one percent of the vote out in Colorado and she already has Democratic challengers who have a fantastic shot of unseating her in two years. Also, the campaign finance violations thing is a thing so... Marjorie Taylor Greene has already been publicly sanctioned and removed from her committee responsibilities. The adults in the room recognize, for the most part, this sh*t is dangerous and needs to be snuffed out, even if they refuse to come out and say it in the light of day. Because again, cowards. F*cking Mitt Romney is the moral compass of the GOP and i cannot get over that. Sh*t is just plain wild, man.
More than that, in four years, we'll have four more years worth of borderline socialist, anti-capitalist, eighteen year olds who can vote, on top of the already radicalized assholes like me. That thing about growing more conservative as you get older? Yeah, nah. That ain't really a thing for the majority of us Millennials and younger. Eat the Rich. I'm fine with the Senators voting to acquit Trump of his high crime and treason, even though there is video of him actively inciting that mob like Hitler and a phone call from just days before, where he threatened a sitting Republican Governor with legal consequences if he didn't overturn those election results. Even though they wore his colors and shouted his slogans as they washed over the halls of the Capital building, trampling police officers and fellow insurrections alike, to f*cking death. Even though those convicted have gone on record to say they did what they did on order of the president. I'm okay with these assholes not doing their job because that means we'll know who didn't. The Senate impeachment is a public vote. There are names to correlate with these acquittal votes. We'll know who decided to side with bipartisan rancor rather than hold a treasonous criminal account. I am okay with that because, in the immortal words of Aldo Raine, "You see, we like our Nazis in uniform.
That way we can spot 'em just like that."That vote is a swastika on the forehead of every Republican Senator who chooses to skirt due justice. That vote might get you a pass now but, in the annals of history, just like a MAGA hat, it will be seen the same as an Iron Cross or Reichsadler. They will go down in history as people who supported the fascist attempt to overthrow the government of the United States, a very reasonable designation for traitors.
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trendingnewsb · 7 years ago
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6 Famous People Whose Origin Stories Are Dark Secrets
Nobody expects celebrities to actually be exactly the way they portray themselves publicly. Bruce Willis doesn’t go around killing terrorists every day (that probably happens, like, every other weekend). When you’re famous, it’s understood that you’ll have to bullshit a little and cultivate an image that appeals to your audience. But some do less cultivating and more top-to-bottom renovations. It’s always shocking when famous people turn out to be the complete opposite of what they’re famous for. And that’s the case with …
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Kid Rock Was Born Rich And Grew Up In A Huge-Ass Mansion
No “celebrity goes into politics” story will ever be weird again, but the announcement that Kid Rock might run for Senate still managed to turn a few heads. After all, his biggest claim to fame was supposedly spending a summer “trying different things … smoking funny things,” and based on his ability to rhyme “things” with “things,” he surely has no better than an eighth-grade education, right?
Rock wants us to think he’s some rough-and-tumble country boy, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. His childhood home in Macomb County, Michigan recently sold for nearly $1.3 million, which we’re reasonably sure would be enough to buy whole towns around there. It turns out that his dad owned two luxury car dealerships and made some not-insignificant amounts of money.
Romeo High School “Your little rec center shall make a great showroom for our Bentleys. Papa will be most pleased.”
Mr. and Mrs. Rock’s “four-bedroom, four-bath, neo-Georgian colonial house” is over 5,000 square feet, has an indoor Jacuzzi, amenities out the wazoo, and the property itself contains an apple orchard. Rock has tried to flaunt his down-home country style and use it to smear politicians as “out of touch.” That doesn’t have the same gravity now that we know his past.
Adam Serwer/Twitter That’s a sad burger for so many reasons.
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Rapper Rick Ross Was A Prison Guard
Florida rapper Rick Ross is best known for his songs about nonstop hustling and pushing it to the limit (“it” being all of the drugs). Hell, he got his name from a drug kingpin. That’s why it was kind of a shocker when it came out that Ross was a corrections officer (read: prison guard) prior to getting into the rap game.
After the story broke about his previous life of literally the opposite of crime, Ross originally denied it, but somehow the media managed to get ahold of pay stubs that proved it. For about two years in the mid-’90s, he worked as a CO in Florida. Granted, that makes him more of a badass than being a CO in, say, Terre Haute, Indiana, but it didn’t help his street cred any.
Florida Department of Corrections, Maybach Music Group His earliest songs were about how much he hated that Urkel kid who kept visiting his house.
Even 50 Cent took a jab at Ross in a rap to point out how dumb it was for Rozay to keep acting like he was something he wasn’t. After all, if you’re only learning about smuggling drugs and weapons from someone else’s case file instead of doing it yourself, can you sincerely say your raps come from the heart?
Probably thanks to some magical PR whiz, Ross finally owned up to his past. Rather than dismiss his old job as some kind of phase, he managed to call it a “hustle” in its own right. (We’re beginning to think that absolutely anything can be a hustle as long as one declares it so.)
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Ron Jeremy Was A Special Education Teacher
Lots of people watch porn — about 67 percent of you are only reading this while you wait for some to load. Even the “casual” viewer can probably name a fair number of lady porn stars, but for some reason, about the only male porn actor most people can identify is Ron Jeremy. He’s been the mustachioed face of videotaped boning for decades, but believe it or not, that wasn’t really his Plan A.
On an episode of Judge Pirro, Jeremy admitted that his background was in theater, and that he’d gone on to get a master’s degree in special education. As in working with disabled kids.
Jeremy is happy to talk about his educator past, and always considered his teaching degree his fallback option, or “ace in the hole” (that’s probably not the only thing he’s called that). He majored in theater in college, and much like theater majors of today, he went and tacked on an education degree “just in case.”
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What Movie News Should You Know RIGHT NOW (11/24/17)
One time, Jeremy and a friend (the school psychologist) picked up a couple of women and brought them back to what they claimed was their “hotel,” which was in truth the school for developmentally challenged kids where they worked. The building used to be a hotel, so they didn’t lie, precisely, but that’s the kind of thing you’d expect from the future star of Ebony Humpers 2. They also told the ladies that they were going to a convention for doctors, which was pure bullshit. In the morning, Jeremy and his friend brought the women up to the “hotel restaurant,” cleverly disguised as a goddamned school cafeteria. (The kids there were reportedly quite thrilled to meet them.)
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The “Blue Collar” Comedy Tour Is Pretty Well-Educated
The Blue Collar Comedy Tour is a group of comedians who joined forces when they realized they were essentially using the same shtick, so why not put on a show together? And put on a show they did, because as far as Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Foxworthy go, their entire careers are an act.
Most people are probably smart enough to assume that Larry the Cable Guy is not in fact named Larry the Cable Guy. What fewer people know is that he’s as far from “Southern” as it gets. He’s originally from Nebraska, which is definitely rural, but not “The hell kind of accent you got there, boy?�� rural. The closest he got was that attending Baptist University in Decatur, Georgia (to major in drama and speech), but even so, that means he went to Georgia to go to college. That’s like your friend who studied abroad in Ireland coming back to America with a Cockney accent.
Seriously, watch him duck in and out of his “Southern” accent. It’s creepy:
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Foxworthy, at least, is a native Georgian. His accent is real. But asking him to host Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader was an interesting choice, because he almost certainly is — dude went to Georgia Tech.
Granted, he didn’t graduate, but that’s in part because he landed a job working for his father at IBM in mainframe computer maintenance. Foxworthy, for his part, has tried to downplay it. There’s an obvious dichotomy between “college-educated computer guy” and “redneck” in our culture, but Jeff thinks there’s a bit more nuance than that:
“Here’s the problem that the media makes: They tend to think if you gave rednecks a billion dollars they wouldn’t be rednecks anymore. Look at Elvis — he put carpet on the ceiling. We wouldn’t wear Armani suits, we would just go to every NASCAR race.”
Someone should maybe tell him that Armani makes rather comfortable sweatpants.
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Only One Of The Beach Boys Could Surf
Surfing isn’t merely a fun beach activity — it’s a lifestyle, brah. As soon as people discovered they could ride waves, it became a culture in itself. Nobody embodied that culture in the 1960s better than the Beach Boys, with their songs about the beach, fast cars, psychedelic farm animals, and then the beach again. They knew everything there was to know about taming the wild waves and impressing those California girls with their surf moves. Right? Right?
Well, no. Only one of them could surf.
Dennis Wilson, the drummer, was the only band member who knew the correct end of a surfboard. In 1961, he told fellow Beach Boys Brian Wilson and Mike Love, “Hey, surfing’s getting really big. You guys ought to write a song about it.” And then more songs about it …
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… and then a couple of albums about it …
… and then an entire career about it. Had Dennis picked another random hobby, today they’d be known as the Model Train Building Boys. The band basically owes their success to Dennis’ suggestion. Although he also introduced them to his buddy Charles Manson, so not all of his ideas were so good.
Sadly, Dennis passed away in the very California ocean he loved after falling off a boat at age 39. His legacy lives on in every pastel-colored surf shack up and down the Pacific coast, and in the hearts of every Los Angeles tourist who tries surfing with a Groupon on a Saturday afternoon.
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Neocon Poster Boy Milo Yiannopoulos Was (And Probably Still Is) A Total Dweeb
Milo Yiannopoulos is … no, not the main character from Disney’s Atlantis: The Lost Empire. He’s this guy:
You may know him as the firebrand Breitbart editor whose swagger lets him get away with spouting fascist rhetoric for a little too long, turning thousands of confused young men into his personal fan club and helping push them closer to all-out xenophobia. Yiannopoulos has been known to flirt with Nazi ideas and imagery, and — despite straight-up asking white supremacists for snazzy new Breitbart story angles — it’s all OK! He’s only “trolling.” When he talks about the evils of immigration or how trans people don’t deserve basic dignity, he’s not repeating the same backwards bullshit your grandpa used to complain about on the dinner table; he’s writing genius political satire, you see. Truly, a Voltaire for the age of Twitter. (Or Facebook, since Twitter banned his ass.)
But before all this, Yiannopoulos got his start as a rather inept and awkward tech writer for a bunch of websites, including Breitbart, and he looked like this:
That’s Yiannopoulos showing off his dorky, possibly Nazi ring, and presumably posing for his MySpace photo. Wonder what that profile would’ve entailed? Maybe something about how he likes to write poetry (read: plagiarize Tori Amos lyrics) for fun? Perhaps something further about how video game fans are losers and psychopaths, despite using that whole ridiculous #Gamergate saga to further his career? Months before “freedom of speech” became his battle cry and the excuse for his particular brand of outrageous dickishness, Yiannopoulos wrote a whole Breitbart column about how those goshdarn video games (which are enjoyed by “unemployed saddos living in their parents’ basements”) were probably to blame for the Elliot Rodger murders, and someone ought to do something about them.
How did he evolve his writing style from “angry letter writer at your local newspaper” to “edgiest shitlord on the internet”? He didn’t. His current work is largely ghost-written and researched by people he actively works to maintain uncredited and anonymous, because if he doesn’t get all the fame and attention, then what even is the point? Yiannopoulos is barely a person; he’s a crappy Halloween mask precariously placed on top of a heap of regressive ideas society had already flushed down the toilet. By the way, it was an unassuming teenage journalist from Canada who put the brakes on Yiannopoulos’ rising star by digging up his pro-pedophilia comments from 2016. (If it wasn’t for that, he’d probably have his own show on Fox News by now.) We’re sure it wasn’t the Universe’s intention to violently punish him in the most ironic way possible — it was just a prank, bro.
Isaac feels like a fraud pretty much every day. Follow him on Twitter.
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popcartoonkabala · 7 years ago
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Trinities, dualities, retirements and euphemisms: division into clarity (Chesed-Gevurah-Tipheret she b Malchut)                       PART II! [Batman is not Superman]
To summarize our purpose, once again: Myth and Archtype have been part of human culture since the beginning of symbolic communication. Why wouldn't there be patterns in how?
Numbers are the language of science, but they used to be the secret language of theology. Pythagoras got into something that had been the sprouted wisdom heritage of Ancient Egypt, Babylon, and beyond: The attempt to boil all the assorted deities of every land and saga into systematized essences. Because it's not that they didn't notice what the narrative commonalities amongst all the different regional gods of every nation, on the contrary: there was a fair amount of cross identification, because of recognition when we are talking about the same things, even if speaking with very different priorities and lessons in mind.  The gods of the twentieth centuries are our Cartoon characters; divine far more than it's assorted human “Stars,” Cartoon characters tend not to die the way people do. Icons of modern fear, hope, fantasy and frustration are the things we wound up being most impressed by as children, and their nostalgia cultures testify the depth of influence these kind of characters and the experience of their narratives have on the soul of humanity, as we becomes whatever it is we will be. Why wouldn't there be patterns? Why shouldn't there be a language for unzipping those patterns, to understand the world and it's relationships better?
The Hebrew word “SePhiRa” literally and essentially implies communication, like a little story being told through every CyPheR. Universal popular culture is the true law of Rome, being newly decreed every time we watch the show and laugh, shiver, or in anyway resonant. Resonance is ratification, it's official-- I feel you, and from now on, the standard is like such. Hardening the heart, refuse to accept the heart-understood new decree that HAS convinced, is the insistence on a previously remembered principle trumping the new story and it's cargo.  Everyone knows it, deep down. The narrative priority of That which everyone knows and feels. South park, for example, initiates a certain new and universal standard: once you laughed, you're in the club, the club of true knowers and understanders of How It Is, and, more importantly, perhaps an insistence on how it should be, ironically in the softest and sweetest way possible. It's been happening every so often the whole time. That's how homophobia and narcophobia are defeated in the end, and make no mistake, despite the thrashes of regressive hostility, they are done, as far as social pop-morality is concerned--- maybe-- for awhile. In some places, if not everywhere.
In the ancient schism between North and South is the mystery war between A(s)(h)ura and D(a)eva: What's God and what's Monster? The oldest religious text range between the Vedic and Iranian on this issue, with the Western and Eastern spectrum ranging some adapted terms-- “God” as a word for the highest of the high in Northern European translations of the Hebrew Bible points to a very traditional association of Mercury with the Cause of Causes or at least star of worship, to whom invocation is given as in Sanskrit. The war is over when common language is found, and so “God” has become the resting place for a broad spectrum of phenomena associated with the preferred. Poured out, some speculate based on Greek “kh”. The conflict in the Bhagva Gita, like the Teutonic sagae across the mountains and valleys, pits these cosmic forces, one valorized and the other demonized. In the Old Testament narrative, this schism contends with the internal satire going on against even-and-especially that which is identified with the so-epitheted “good” god, master (Baal/Adon) and hero/direction (El[ohim]) used for also the falsehood and also the true authority. The word for the overtly demonized sort of wild-divinity in contrast with the legitimate-but-perhaps-problematic-lordship, is Shed. The Gallic/Celtic satyric nature spirits that eventually are given the mellowed title of “Fae/fair” (to convince the listening chaos-monsters that we are speaking well of them, despite all being aware of their destructive capacity) is “Shaedu(Siddhe)”.  
This is a rhetorical struggle, to the degree that it's clear since the beginning of Egyptian and Babylonian religion that the best god is defined by success, like Batman and Popeye.  But that's until it's clear that there is a value higher than victory, an astoundingly challenging idea that in many ways has yet to be fully digested into popular human morality.  This is the degree to which Nietzsche looks to ancient religion, specifically what he calls “Indic” which he identifies, as within Greco-Roman tradition, Dionysian. For traditional models celebrating, not functionality, but inspiration, passion, intoxication and ultimately, illumination (or death). The dei that celebrate boundaries, victories, or any other conventional prizes cannot be the truest deepest highest Dio: just a certain kind of echoed reflection. So too our gods, heroes, villains and monsters reflect us, the things we couldn't see until exaggerated in theatrical other.
The place where the power comes from is not always identified with the power itself; the veils are excused any which way, and so much cosmic narrative comes to explain when and where the schism hit, so that whatever lord rules the world is known to whatever degree, as a hint as to what has needed to happen in order of power to be secured, most traditionally the defeat of some enormous and originative serpent of chaos. In later generations, it's lions instead of snakes, or dragons which are the best of both. But remember: anyone can be the bad guy, eventually. This fundamental to the Superman myth, and its counter just as fundamental to Dracula: the longer the story goes the more the good guy must become dictatorial/fascist, and the most horrific of monster-enemies enlisted to help the fight against a greater emergent evil. To this end, our personal and communal capacities to identify with a range of justification and aspiration is reinforced or even introduced; models for catharsis either accomplishing a need to resonate with some activity or mission, or passing over unnoticed except as novelty twist on some sort of comfortably familiar dynamic. This is the natural end of a charachter, the central-most erosion of their value, often saved for the end of a series, as was the case with the Paul Dini/Dwayne Mcduffie Superman/Justice League. The problem is genuinely redeeming a character (or deity) defined so strongly in one direction once satirized however inearnestly-- but the truth is, it's not hard, because more than the calf wants to suckle, the nerd wants a classic and fundamentally familiar consistent version of a character. The genius of mythographers like Grant Morrison, and Alan Moore before him, is to integrate a range of classic versions of a character, ones generally considered eschewing integration, initiated as radically distinct characters functioning only vaguely in the same capacity, but for the degrees of overwhelming inspiring or resonant previous versions.
Once upon a time, there was no such thing as a Batman. How could that possibly be true? Because there was no such thing as a city. On the other hand, someone had to be that for there to ever have been existence and creation. Do you know what I mean? It's absurd to say that any PARTICULAR deity created the universe, if not the awesomest deepest wholest one, who must by definition encompass all that ever was great before. Who was Batman before Batman? Who was God before Zeus? Maybe Cronos, but maybe Typhon? It's a meaningful position that the Greeks take, that dZeus did not originate creation, but only the present state of it, tentatively ruled and micromanaged.  
The Hebraic/biblical tradition at it's core denies the facility of this synchretism-- The only G-d that was still Is, and whoever takes his place could not be other than him himself, by definition, because of the absoluteness of the oneness that must be somewhere/everywhere. This is the degree to which the Bible god is hostile to deities perfectly analogous to him himself, Baal and Dagon, Marduk, Shemesh, Dagon or El, many of which are even epithets and terms for the acceptable hebrew All-father himself. None are tolerated to be identified with his oneness, and its even a bit of a heresy for HIS WORD and HIS LAW to be identified with Him, because the Monad must encompass all, and to take a side or isolate a perspective tests the resonance of the idea harshly, and threatens to drag Him down into all the religious polemical politics that every other All-god was ruined by and discredited through.
To be a functional hero nowadays, one must not cross the line for too long into the reprehensible pop-antivalue, the priority resented most by the populace, whose valor proves it's perfidy and wrongness. See how ruined the bible god is by the moral questions raised by a society where the mainstream itself is more committedly progressive than any archaic society could have fathomed would even be sought after, except in the panic of their most critical apocalypses. 
It can't matter in a Batman story, in The Batman's presence, who was Batman developed from or rooted in. The presence itself establishes its own context, which is why T-shirts and kickball are the ideal temple for his personification-- these things insist on trying to create their own context. Sherlock Holmes and the Phantom, Horus the lord of Light-- who cares. The only problem is: how long can a batman endure? And what would keep one functional, relevant?
There is a rich history of Bat-apocalypses, twilight-of-the-bat stories where Batman does the most natural thing he can and dies dramatically, or at least gets old. A recurring theme in Dark Knight Returns is “This would be a good death-- but not good enough.” And so it is with the world and all the great immortal heroes-- almost no death is good enough, so almost no death is possible. That's why the greatest heroes become deified, as was rumored to be Batman's “Final” fate in Final Crisis. All the heroes were supposed to be deified and perhaps replaced by their own avatars. Certainly Batman, because any other end would be beneath the grandeur of what he symbolizes-- the good winner, the dark protector inherent in justifying the imbalances in the urban situation. He cannot make a utopia, because he is too much a conservative force, holding a bad place, the great city Gotham, together, and making it safe for sustained existence, but utterly unable (apparently even unwilling) to destroy any of the chaotic or pernicious elements within it, for fear of upsetting it's balance, and his own. This is not a human being, even as much as the character keeps being humanized by loves and investments around him, and this is part of the mystery of the Batgirls and the Robins-- as well as the Catwomen and Jokers.
The two horns of the Batman-- 
hero/villain, hero/sidekick; 
villain as spouse, sidekick as sibling
The villain who loves Batman hates sidekick, and sidekick tends to either resent or couple with next sidekick, of which there are to be infinite. There are now three active pseudo Robins, and alas, only one Batgirl, but this can and will change, as meaningful-- the maximum amount of active batgirls is usually one, but that's been true about “Robin” too. The truth is Batgirl IS a Robin of sorts, or Robin could be a Batgirl-- he sure looks feminine in his early appearances, fair skinned, bright red lipped, smooth of thigh. A partner/student-- the father god is a patronizing bastard. Superman can only be one-in-himself, without child or spouse. Batman has so many children, so many lovers, but somehow only ever one or two at a time.
Arch enemies? Each individually is, and when ignored, they spiral around together, reincorporate into single teams, duos or more. Poison Ivy was certainly saved from some degree of relative obscurity and pittance until she was bound in either Harley Quinn or someone else, like Persephone's maturity only in the context of Hades, who, we'll recall, is the deity that poor deluded Maxie Zeus conflates Batman with.
The identification of Hades-Pluto with Batman actually does make a significant degree of sense, especially in light of the access to massive wealth, hidden in caves under the earth that give Pluto his name, but this identification also hints at how dismissed a character like Batman would be in Greece, or Rome for that matter. Perhaps it's the Greek ambivalence before hierarchy and abstract total concern, their skepticism that any concern is infinite rather than self interested and capricious, that makes it harder to identify any popular Greek god with Batman. The Greeks have a justice deity, “Dike” but she does not become significant until after Rome and Greece have fallen by the way-side. The main distinction between a cythonic deity like Hades-Pluto and one ultimately more exalted (though still feared, and perhaps even resented) like Saturn is how present Hades's realm of power is. Gotham is and possesses a certain degree of underworld, but it's not under control, and it is absolutely identified with life, and not after life. Saturn is more of an exile in the living world, a deposed king still able to grant the blessings of alternately Law and Liberation, ironically of course. But he's not an active player like Batman is. When introducing a gay Superman-Batman analogue for The Authority, Warren Ellis names his Superman “Apollo” naturally enough, giving him solar powers, like Superman ultimately. But he cannot name his lunar lover “Hades” or “Pluto”-- instead he goes for the overtly nocturnal descriptive of “The Midnighter,” a helpful mad master of urban ultraviolence.
Batman is only Plutonian at the end of a certain rope, dark and wealthy. At the top of the Rope, he is very much a Lunar deity, as expressed in many ways. The Moon is identified, anomalously, with Chesed the First Sefira in the Eliyahu of Vilna’s Kabbalah, based on an obscure and equally anomalous Zohar piece. This is weird. The Moon is Identified generally with Yesod in most systems. The Vilna Gaon generously justifies this association, describing the moon’s nourishing milky whiteness as the purest expression of Original Loving-Kindness. This is partially much of why and how Batman, a sort of dark and secondary hero, is actually a certain kind of Main Hero, Father God, initiator of teams and pantheons. The Moon as Chesed, as opposed to other stories where he functions more as the Moon as Yesod.
Batman does, to me, resemble a more Egyptian model of hero-- a royal defender of particular city wealth, defined by triumph over chaos, the Solar hero avenging his dead father. Horus is identified by the Greco-Romans with Ares-Mars, and that could be acceptable-- but Batman is too individually organized and motivated generally to identify too much with a national war god, although he does become that as well in many futures-- but specifically a counter-cultural one. A reigning mainstreamed Batman can only be a nightmare villain, unless he's a certain kind of under dog, ostensibly in danger of defeat, a defeat that would jeopardize the lives of the innocent and sympathetic. Maybe that's like Mars,  but it seems to me more like Horus, especially considering Horus's identification with a predatory bird, and his epic love with the mother of all Catwomen, Isis/Bast, who Catwoman's familiars are even named.
Batman is certainly the most Egyptian of Superheroes. The tragic prince, whose father-god ruled nicely until cut down by the forces of competitive disruption, he emerges to bring balance-through-violence. Horus is in the aspect of Mars, although all the hero gods also serve and express the Sun itself. This returns us to the mystery of Chesed expressed as Tipheret and vice verse.  The next level, Tipheret expressed as defeated by Malchut, is the point where the “realistic” displaces the conventional, and inverts our sense of what is real true, like when a hero is proven to be a predator veiled as altruist crusader. A favorite example of this for me was the Simpsons episode where Mr Burns decides to be Batman, purely for self indulgent violence. Rick Veitch's seminal Brat Pack expresses the decadent horror veiled through heroic pretension, as introduction to an astounding cosmic contemplation on the nature of the cartoon medium.  But since then, any Superman/Batman conflict tends to incorporate the similar danger of Batman's privilege to Superman, to testify that discipline bred power is no less abuseable than power from grace.
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The Tzaddik, as divine as it’s experienced, the words and the deeds that emerge from them, is still fundamentally human. Batman and Superman alike are defined by their humanity, even their mortality, even if also narratively defined as ultimately invincible, or at least, unyielding.
Note again James Gunn's first utterly non-mainstream attempt at Super-hero realism before he became a master of pop-space-adventure; Super. What a gloriously disquieting film. Why? Because its about us what a Batman would be like if realized. Were a person to go out and do justice for themselves, it would need to be fueled by a strange cocktail of personal religious ideology, sci-fi paranoia, and romantic frustration. Ultimately, this clarification makes the film less of a satire and more of a serious comic attempt to give the money shot moments of catharsis that make super-hero stories work, rather than the cynical reason why they can. Spoilers! The dude who becomes a psycho vigilante superhero hits people with a wrench, savaging not necessarily the worst, but the most accessible of enemies, until his troubles and yearning for the honor of his longed-for take him to embrace the danger of attacking a progressively less accessible gangster-villain. In the end, he gets basically everything he is willing to want and aim for, and it's ultimately because he was a devoted person. Devoted to psychotic ideals, and the love of a very untrustworthy cheating and heroin addicted spouse, who, because he does actually rescue her through his violence and madness, returns to him in completeness in the end.
This is the only acceptable god in modernity-- desire, will. Urge, but not the shallow first want that passes, no. The serious burning one that will not let you be whole unless you at least try to get it to be satisfied, and don't stop. What makes Batman a nice guy, ultimately? How much he's not just trying to get the bad guys that killed his parents, no: he's trying to take care of all the other kids, to the best of his ability. This makes him the Tzadik, the Yesod/Foundation. Notice: Lex Luthor's company is called Lex Corp. Bruce Wayne's?
The Wayne Foundation. Through which Bruse Wayne does All The Good that he wants to see in the world BESIDES for the personal masked cathartic violence. This is the work of the Tzaddik is all aspects, manifested effectively.
Superman, on the other hand, is the god in the sky, the perfect standard that doesn't quite seem to ever be, but actually must if things are working out, somewhere some how. Shining Apollo, he is ultimately killed and resurrected every time he's in ultimate danger, or else almost killed, but then resuscitated at the last moment. Batman is rarely so vulnerable as that, instead, he's almost always held captive, or held back from being somewhere. Superman is actually resurrected by serious need. That's the axis they are on, the east and the west, the before (borderline primitive violent warrior king, in a viking city of warring dark shamans) and the after (futuristic civility and capacity, effortless like it will be). Wonder Woman is the ultimate resolution that realizes these both, the pragmatic and the utopian. That’s why she’s the best of them all.
Much more visceral than Superman, much more martial than all but the most dystopian versions, some triads would split the trinity between Chesed, Gevura and Tipheret, putting her on the level of Tipheret, but this doesn't work consistently to the degree that she's not the balance of Batman and Superman-- she's the fulfillment of the need to bridge the divine sensitivity with the human imperative, and in this, she is able to be realer than the other heroes. Her lasso compels truth, but she is not truth herself, she's too human to be so abstract driven, like princess Ariel of little mermaid, by curiosity, epic curiosity that becomes altruism. Not anger, not concern, not ethics per se-- but her curiosity compels her responsibility. Will, an expression of the secret clarity at the root of the crown and the heart of the tongue, traditionally. The purpose of Keter buried in the sense organ of Yesod-or-Malkhut.
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If the Sun tends towards generally symbolizing Tipheret (occasionally used for certain forms of Netzach) what does the moon tend to stand for and from? Yesod, the West to Tipheret's east, but some say Malchut-- either way, at the opposite extreme from the Sun. The wild was traditionally identified with the moon, the hairy and savage-- werewolves and witches, woodwoses and warrior women.   The moon is the first inversion, the first response. It must be noted, that according to the neo-biblical narratives, the stars are initiated specifically to support the moon-- they are all there to support her. But of course, the moon only becomes expressed in order to glorify the sun, whom she lives to reflect. The stars are formed, and then come together to be supported by constellations, ostensibly lifted up into the heavens, and so it's turtles all the way down. Lets say that even the Vilna Gaon realizes how rarely the Moon wants to be identified with Chesed. Lets say he realizes very well how traditional is the Moon’s identification with King David, Malchut, Israel and the purpose of creation, The Sabbath, and fufillment itself. Lets say he knows all that and still would rather not: the wholeness of the moon in one system births the use of it, taken for granted, in another.
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There's a moral problem with all the iconic super-heroes, just like there is with all gods: they are ultimately conservative forces, unless they are eternal anti-heroes, like Robin Hood.  Robin Hood is problematic only and totally in that he is identifying with another, better order, one that does in fact settle in, and so his iconic nature is certified: Long Live King Richard!  What could Robin Hood do of virtue once King Richard returns? If there was still exploitation, could he fight it? Or come to be the agent of the Man, instead of the hero of the needy?Batman and Superman suffer from this problem more than someone like Wonder Woman does, because they are citizens, and she something more like an international monitor, come to see what ails the world. She is never ultimately implicit in the conservative crimes of the world, because she is not defending any particular state, like those other two do.
All passionate acts are driven by will, and wonder woman's tends to be more specific and less abstract. What does “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” really mean? One episode of Batman Brave and the Bold has Superman define it as Bacon Double Cheeseburgers, that most decadent of combinations, like the Justice League itself. Here it is a euphemism for that which satisfies, deeply.  Actually a shocking moment in a weird show, alive with quirk and definitive exploration, of characters ultimately at their corniest, soaked in irony, but not dripping it: Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman sit in a diner together. Superman, allowed and invited to be the jockiest jock in Americana, orders a Bacon double Cheeseburger. Ok, fine. Batman orders one too! Ok, cute... Wonder Woman orders a tuna melt on whole wheat-- and Batman CORRECTS her, ordering a Bacon DoubleCheeseburger FOR HER, saying: “You'll work it off, princess.”  What a terrible Batman! But that's the Tzaddik for you: Self-righteous, unapologetic, hard to resent too much unless you're the one he's hurting. Superman moves too fast to even have the conversation with, just like god, usually.
But Wonder Woman is moved by desire-- a will and curiosity for encountering the world, mixed with a confident will to help and support an intuitively perceived good. In most encounters, when a relationship is initiated between her and another, she is the initiator, unless they're a bad guy sneaking up on her.  This aspect of the warrior princess, associated by the Romans with the Lunar in Diana as well as the supernal in Athena is also very high and very low. How low? It manifests even as in the world, Malchut, more than as Bina/Athena, a role her mother takes, as the retconned Golden Age Wonder Woman, in one of John Byrne’s slightly unconscious innovations. Black Canary and Batgirl could approach this role, but the truth is, neither is often as resonant and Wonder Woman. She is constantly, ironically, the most human, in light of her either divine or clay origins.
The princess, Malkhuth, which I often like to translate as “The Real”, is both very human and very alien. So human, are her sympathies and sensitivities: she notices and responds to the truest need of the abused, in a way that regular super heroes cannot. Very intentionally sent on the mission to encounter humanity and guide us to betterment, it becomes revealed how much she is actually coming from true pre-traditional humanity to restore it's compassion and sense, through both violence and sociality. This is the degree to which Diana of Themyscira ascends to the throne of Mars, become the God of War itself in Brian Azzarello’s “recent” reboot, her golem origin as clay-wished-to-life denied and her divinity emphasized as she’s redefined as a daughter of Zeus Absentio. It remains to be seen what will be done with her origin in the movie coming out next week! But the distinction here is small enough to be irrelevant. Her origins don’t matter as much as her priorities or capacities, as modernism insists about us all. Kurt Busiek's straightforwardly titled maxi-series “Trinity” is the first work i'm aware of to make the Kabbalistic/alchemical relationship between the Big Three DC heroes overt, identifying Superman with the Sun (Tipheret) Batman with the Moon (Yesod/tzaddik) and Wonder Woman with the Earth (Malchuth). He does this in the context of a larger schemata that tries to put a villain in the role of every Tarot card, and address the functional meaning of these characters, this trinity, by removing them from the narrative and seeing who or what would fill that void, and how incapably. And then, he adds an amazing layer, of trying to mythically address and describe the ultimate and inherent conflict between the three, when failure defeats their efforts to rescue, who or what each ultimately blames. This is the klippah moment of anyone and everyone, in defeat and failure, raging out in the name of their own essence, and the ultimate fixing of this conflict, heroes trapped by their essences, is when they become willing to exchange roles, and embrace actually becoming each other. This is a trope from some of the earliest Superman/Batman team ups that survives into almost every incarnation, and is made radically eloquent in Grant Morrison's Invisibles, where part of what the radical anarchist cell of heroes does is to exchange roles by lottery, so that whoever was leader before gets to be something else, and the whole cell is strengthened. This happens in Worlds Finest or Justice League stories specifically in the context of overcoming someone's now familiar definitive vulnerabilities, kryptonite or not being super strong or what have you
. Wonder Woman, because she is physically distinct as a woman from the other two icons is not as easy to switch places with. So she historically has to learn to switch places with herself, something she tends to have little trouble doing, adopting a range of high pressure identities as needed, and functioning for years without powers, connections, or any of much of what she might be identified with. Aggressive feminine sexuality, and grounded realization itself, must be flexible.
Now-- in the tryptarch described above, of sun-moon-earth, Wonder Woman is, in Busiek's model, identified with Earth.  This “Trinity” parallels the Sepher Yetzirah's “Three Mothers”, and Aristotle's three branched theory of Thesis/Antithesis/Synthesis, where something is introduced, followed by it's opposite, and the two are tempered into harmony-perfection by their balance. There is the degree to which, as in Kingdom Come, Wonder Woman is the moon and Batman is earth, which would be consistent with the degree to which Batman is the most popular hero in the world, and Wonder Woman is borderline obscure. Different contexts rotate the association, but the big three are the big three, as much as they are in The Avengers as well.
Triune gods and goddesses have a long history and pre history, as do ruling trinities or tribunals. The great Kabbalist Rabbi Yehuda Loew echoes Aristotle's model for explaining the relationships between the centrality of Trinities, and their movement into more stable, friendly Quartets, in the context of the mythical Four World Empires of Jewish Mysticsm, often referred to in the context of Biblical Daniel's reading of Nevuchadnezzer's vision of the Four Metal Man. The initial trinity is where most of the innovation occurs-- the first three letters of the four letter name of G-d, ’י’ ’ה’ and ’ו’ are all distinct--
Thesis(Yod/Babylon)-- the initial (radical) innovation that creates the new field, the new genre, the new model. Put out there, and then it just takes over fast until
Antithesis--(Heh/Persia) comes along to criticize and inhibit the dominance of the thesis. Batman is kind of the anti-superman, utterly human, yet super-human in what might be a more efficient and resonant way
Synthesis-- (Waw/Greece)where the criticism of the Antithesis is resolved with the thesis to create a more powerful and inclusive harmony-- a ruling trinity. Where heroes wind up in this trinity rotates-- and this might be the secret of why the Sun is both first and third on the week chart. But the fourth is the inheritor of all that came before, and the original fulfillment-- clarified and washed of excess by a kind of secondary reflected antithesis-filter-- a new resolution into a now realized empire-- (Heh/Rome.) 
Noted Stand up comic and true-historian Colin Quinn remarked the difference between Greece and Rome- Romans had no time for philosophy-- we got it down, now we're gonna get it done-- such is the imperative of a perfect and beloved empire... except for everyone trampled by it's thus imperfected iron heel. They even assimilated democracy has universally has ever seemed to make sense. Rome or “Edom” is the great city of every later story, Latins as we all are by now, Latinized by our most efficient international legal language of technicality and superb bureaucratic detail. A perfect bureaucracy is a swift and effective one, not apparently. There's a reason things are the way they are-- there was some degree of consensus, and some degree of collusion, but mostly just kind of principled reaction.
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Zach Snyder and David Goyer's Man of Steel expresses, very intentionally, much of the conscious and unconcious purpose and meaning and glory of the Superman myth, and the degree to which America's contribution to world morality and myth are expressed through it. Man of Steel is a certain kind of sublime resolution to the split between savage idealism and cynical hero-craft expressed in his first two films, the radical and ambitious comic book adaptations that are both resolved ultimately in this effort at a 21st century Superman reboot. Man of Steel has a lot to do with the Greek-Persian conflict romanticized in 300, one of the most faithful adaptations of a comic book into movie ever. The connection of course has to do with the mystery of nationalism and personal expression into it.  
Watchmen, on the other hand, cannot be but an anti-nationalist effort, even with the amendments that Snyder makes to gently and almost invisibly circumcise Alan Moore's even more radical criticism of utopian delusion. This is the problem with morality, heroism and responsibility itself: the delusion of responsibility manifests itself as unapologetic brutality. Where in 300 this is very purely romanticized and justified as the only way of protecting freedom, no amount of whitewashing can strip Watchman of its piercing criticism of the heroic model. The two extremes of heroism in Watchmen are the urban psycho-vigilante, utterly unsympathetic in his bigotry and straight violent madness, until the end where it is ONLY his idealism that succeeds in triumphing the sinister, genocidal idealistically Machiavellian campaign of Ozymandias, the smartest man in the world. His genius, and hope for a better world order compels him to kill thousands of people, in an effort to mobilize the survivors into a better unified future against a fictionalized alien threat. Batman and Lex Luthor bound up completely into one Super-Watchman, ultimately haunted by the mystery of how much good his plot can be “in the end” when in fact there is no, and can never be, an end, a curious rhetorical conceit itself, in light of how accessible true apocalypse is nowadays.
Man of Steel lives and breathes and fights in this tension, between impossibly deluded self-righteous military bravado and genuine personal sacrifice for the sake of protecting an actual precious. Man of Steel seeks to acknowledge the generally avoided meaning and depth of Superman's identity as immigrant god, and my bias was to see the fear of the immigrant deity in it as, at least partially, a metaphor for the international fear of the Jew that Superman is long suspected to be a symbolic lionization of, as well as comfort against. Zach Snyder is not American. But American comics these last twenty years since Watchmen and Miracleman have made very clear how much the American myth is relevant and meaningful in England, in light of the triumph of immigration over nativism and race-blind democracy over controlling monarchism, at least in the romances of our highest and most honorable moral clarities. He welcomes the issue of Superman's inherent foreign identity, by treating his personal journey of self discovery as fundamental, rather than peripheral, and meaningful rather than just deus-ex-somewhere else. This is the boldest acknowledgement of the virtue of ancient wisdom and identity available in modernity, a modernity that has overcome the melting pot imperative away from foreign identification, and instead embraced diversity as ironic component for localized greatness.
Apollo, in his earliest appearances, is not a solar deity, and not an Apollonian deity as we know him now. Instead, he's an Apollonian in the most literal of senses, a destroyer. Appolyon, recall, is one of the Syriac translations of “Abbadon,” a popular New Testament euphemism for the King of Destruction, a Satanic epithet.  This does not sound like the Apollo that the Greeks came to venerate over almost all other gods, who they identify with nobility, art, and aesthetic perfection itself in a way no other divinity comes close to. No, in his earliest documented appearance, he's a vicious war god, raining unstoppable and all-piercing arrows on legions, mercilessly. This is so true, that many anthropologists have speculated that Ares and Apollo originated as the same deity, carrying so many attributes in common as they do. At some point, they become very distinctified-- Ares takes on most of the attributes of the war god history has totally identified him with, but Apollo, from his vantage point as national god of awesome, matures into exactly what Greek idealism matured into-- a sensitive and triumphant solar deity, identified with music, justice, harmony and every kind of perfection the the Greeks would come to value and identify with. In this, he is very much a precursor to Superman. Superman may fight in a war or two, may have even emerged in the context of  World War, but he has tended not to be a war god. He is a domestic protector, on the edge of all trouble, arriving mostly as a salvific figure, willing to violently engage any troubles that will not respect his concern and civic values. Civic is the operative word here-- what would Superman be without his Metropolis? As powerful, as capable, but less connected, less in tune, with both human need and human accomplishment. The contrast to this in Cinema is General Zod-- both in the classic Superman II and the more recent Man Of Steel, Zod is a classic Martial figure: a general longing to fight his campaign eternal, to rebuild the glory of his nation on the trivialized ashes of the new world: Earth. Superman's moral divinity is his commitment to his adopted earth, despite the opportunity for personal actualization in becoming the Kryptonian citizen he comes to identify as. This is the great hope an assimilatory motherland has for the immigrants and refugees who flock to her: to be appreciated so much that the original motherland can be defeated so that the new one can live. In this, superman overcomes Martial triumph for Apollonian glory, the harmony between the power of the old and the sensitivity to the new. And so Apollo becomes the Sol-Invictus, identified joyfully with the emerging beauty, rather than the furious invasion. Phew!
Judah Maccabee, notably, slays the Greek general Apollonious(!) in his defense of his people's nativity against the sublime assimilatory insistence of the Hellenists in the Book of Maccabees, and for this, he is commorated in Dante's Divine Comedy as sitting pretty in the heaven of Mars, specifically. Dante, who basically initiates Italian literature with his visionary epic, lists a traditional Seven Heavens, each named after a weekday star-god-attribute. To each, he attributes also a failing, a deadly sin and a virtue unavailable to that star-god-attribute. The great hope of all our next heroes is to integrate the virtues that even the angels cannot, defined so distinctly as they are, the poor trapped kings of nature. 
  National Gods are only as great as the place they are defined through. The hope of Superheroes of tommorow is just of bigger wider identifications. This is the ultimate difference between Apollo and Mars, between Sunday and Tuesday, between Abraham and Israel. Note that Tipheret, the third, is often identified with the solaris/sun, the first, and see how gold is made: the middle path between initial creative gesture and infinite reaction is harmonia, sometimes an asshole but a very effective one with noble and graceful standards. The hero is in the aspect of, as Heracles emerges as a sun deity after all.
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6 Famous People Whose Origin Stories Are Dark Secrets
Nobody expects celebrities to actually be exactly the way they portray themselves publicly. Bruce Willis doesn’t go around killing terrorists every day (that probably happens, like, every other weekend). When you’re famous, it’s understood that you’ll have to bullshit a little and cultivate an image that appeals to your audience. But some do less cultivating and more top-to-bottom renovations. It’s always shocking when famous people turn out to be the complete opposite of what they’re famous for. And that’s the case with …
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Kid Rock Was Born Rich And Grew Up In A Huge-Ass Mansion
No “celebrity goes into politics” story will ever be weird again, but the announcement that Kid Rock might run for Senate still managed to turn a few heads. After all, his biggest claim to fame was supposedly spending a summer “trying different things … smoking funny things,” and based on his ability to rhyme “things” with “things,” he surely has no better than an eighth-grade education, right?
Rock wants us to think he’s some rough-and-tumble country boy, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. His childhood home in Macomb County, Michigan recently sold for nearly $1.3 million, which we’re reasonably sure would be enough to buy whole towns around there. It turns out that his dad owned two luxury car dealerships and made some not-insignificant amounts of money.
Romeo High School “Your little rec center shall make a great showroom for our Bentleys. Papa will be most pleased.”
Mr. and Mrs. Rock’s “four-bedroom, four-bath, neo-Georgian colonial house” is over 5,000 square feet, has an indoor Jacuzzi, amenities out the wazoo, and the property itself contains an apple orchard. Rock has tried to flaunt his down-home country style and use it to smear politicians as “out of touch.” That doesn’t have the same gravity now that we know his past.
Adam Serwer/Twitter That’s a sad burger for so many reasons.
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Rapper Rick Ross Was A Prison Guard
Florida rapper Rick Ross is best known for his songs about nonstop hustling and pushing it to the limit (“it” being all of the drugs). Hell, he got his name from a drug kingpin. That’s why it was kind of a shocker when it came out that Ross was a corrections officer (read: prison guard) prior to getting into the rap game.
After the story broke about his previous life of literally the opposite of crime, Ross originally denied it, but somehow the media managed to get ahold of pay stubs that proved it. For about two years in the mid-’90s, he worked as a CO in Florida. Granted, that makes him more of a badass than being a CO in, say, Terre Haute, Indiana, but it didn’t help his street cred any.
Florida Department of Corrections, Maybach Music Group His earliest songs were about how much he hated that Urkel kid who kept visiting his house.
Even 50 Cent took a jab at Ross in a rap to point out how dumb it was for Rozay to keep acting like he was something he wasn’t. After all, if you’re only learning about smuggling drugs and weapons from someone else’s case file instead of doing it yourself, can you sincerely say your raps come from the heart?
Probably thanks to some magical PR whiz, Ross finally owned up to his past. Rather than dismiss his old job as some kind of phase, he managed to call it a “hustle” in its own right. (We’re beginning to think that absolutely anything can be a hustle as long as one declares it so.)
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Ron Jeremy Was A Special Education Teacher
Lots of people watch porn — about 67 percent of you are only reading this while you wait for some to load. Even the “casual” viewer can probably name a fair number of lady porn stars, but for some reason, about the only male porn actor most people can identify is Ron Jeremy. He’s been the mustachioed face of videotaped boning for decades, but believe it or not, that wasn’t really his Plan A.
On an episode of Judge Pirro, Jeremy admitted that his background was in theater, and that he’d gone on to get a master’s degree in special education. As in working with disabled kids.
Jeremy is happy to talk about his educator past, and always considered his teaching degree his fallback option, or “ace in the hole” (that’s probably not the only thing he’s called that). He majored in theater in college, and much like theater majors of today, he went and tacked on an education degree “just in case.”
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One time, Jeremy and a friend (the school psychologist) picked up a couple of women and brought them back to what they claimed was their “hotel,” which was in truth the school for developmentally challenged kids where they worked. The building used to be a hotel, so they didn’t lie, precisely, but that’s the kind of thing you’d expect from the future star of Ebony Humpers 2. They also told the ladies that they were going to a convention for doctors, which was pure bullshit. In the morning, Jeremy and his friend brought the women up to the “hotel restaurant,” cleverly disguised as a goddamned school cafeteria. (The kids there were reportedly quite thrilled to meet them.)
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The “Blue Collar” Comedy Tour Is Pretty Well-Educated
The Blue Collar Comedy Tour is a group of comedians who joined forces when they realized they were essentially using the same shtick, so why not put on a show together? And put on a show they did, because as far as Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Foxworthy go, their entire careers are an act.
Most people are probably smart enough to assume that Larry the Cable Guy is not in fact named Larry the Cable Guy. What fewer people know is that he’s as far from “Southern” as it gets. He’s originally from Nebraska, which is definitely rural, but not “The hell kind of accent you got there, boy?” rural. The closest he got was that attending Baptist University in Decatur, Georgia (to major in drama and speech), but even so, that means he went to Georgia to go to college. That’s like your friend who studied abroad in Ireland coming back to America with a Cockney accent.
Seriously, watch him duck in and out of his “Southern” accent. It’s creepy:
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Foxworthy, at least, is a native Georgian. His accent is real. But asking him to host Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader was an interesting choice, because he almost certainly is — dude went to Georgia Tech.
Granted, he didn’t graduate, but that’s in part because he landed a job working for his father at IBM in mainframe computer maintenance. Foxworthy, for his part, has tried to downplay it. There’s an obvious dichotomy between “college-educated computer guy” and “redneck” in our culture, but Jeff thinks there’s a bit more nuance than that:
“Here’s the problem that the media makes: They tend to think if you gave rednecks a billion dollars they wouldn’t be rednecks anymore. Look at Elvis — he put carpet on the ceiling. We wouldn’t wear Armani suits, we would just go to every NASCAR race.”
Someone should maybe tell him that Armani makes rather comfortable sweatpants.
2
Only One Of The Beach Boys Could Surf
Surfing isn’t merely a fun beach activity — it’s a lifestyle, brah. As soon as people discovered they could ride waves, it became a culture in itself. Nobody embodied that culture in the 1960s better than the Beach Boys, with their songs about the beach, fast cars, psychedelic farm animals, and then the beach again. They knew everything there was to know about taming the wild waves and impressing those California girls with their surf moves. Right? Right?
Well, no. Only one of them could surf.
Dennis Wilson, the drummer, was the only band member who knew the correct end of a surfboard. In 1961, he told fellow Beach Boys Brian Wilson and Mike Love, “Hey, surfing’s getting really big. You guys ought to write a song about it.” And then more songs about it …
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… and then a couple of albums about it …
… and then an entire career about it. Had Dennis picked another random hobby, today they’d be known as the Model Train Building Boys. The band basically owes their success to Dennis’ suggestion. Although he also introduced them to his buddy Charles Manson, so not all of his ideas were so good.
Sadly, Dennis passed away in the very California ocean he loved after falling off a boat at age 39. His legacy lives on in every pastel-colored surf shack up and down the Pacific coast, and in the hearts of every Los Angeles tourist who tries surfing with a Groupon on a Saturday afternoon.
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Neocon Poster Boy Milo Yiannopoulos Was (And Probably Still Is) A Total Dweeb
Milo Yiannopoulos is … no, not the main character from Disney’s Atlantis: The Lost Empire. He’s this guy:
You may know him as the firebrand Breitbart editor whose swagger lets him get away with spouting fascist rhetoric for a little too long, turning thousands of confused young men into his personal fan club and helping push them closer to all-out xenophobia. Yiannopoulos has been known to flirt with Nazi ideas and imagery, and — despite straight-up asking white supremacists for snazzy new Breitbart story angles — it’s all OK! He’s only “trolling.” When he talks about the evils of immigration or how trans people don’t deserve basic dignity, he’s not repeating the same backwards bullshit your grandpa used to complain about on the dinner table; he’s writing genius political satire, you see. Truly, a Voltaire for the age of Twitter. (Or Facebook, since Twitter banned his ass.)
But before all this, Yiannopoulos got his start as a rather inept and awkward tech writer for a bunch of websites, including Breitbart, and he looked like this:
That’s Yiannopoulos showing off his dorky, possibly Nazi ring, and presumably posing for his MySpace photo. Wonder what that profile would’ve entailed? Maybe something about how he likes to write poetry (read: plagiarize Tori Amos lyrics) for fun? Perhaps something further about how video game fans are losers and psychopaths, despite using that whole ridiculous #Gamergate saga to further his career? Months before “freedom of speech” became his battle cry and the excuse for his particular brand of outrageous dickishness, Yiannopoulos wrote a whole Breitbart column about how those goshdarn video games (which are enjoyed by “unemployed saddos living in their parents’ basements”) were probably to blame for the Elliot Rodger murders, and someone ought to do something about them.
How did he evolve his writing style from “angry letter writer at your local newspaper” to “edgiest shitlord on the internet”? He didn’t. His current work is largely ghost-written and researched by people he actively works to maintain uncredited and anonymous, because if he doesn’t get all the fame and attention, then what even is the point? Yiannopoulos is barely a person; he’s a crappy Halloween mask precariously placed on top of a heap of regressive ideas society had already flushed down the toilet. By the way, it was an unassuming teenage journalist from Canada who put the brakes on Yiannopoulos’ rising star by digging up his pro-pedophilia comments from 2016. (If it wasn’t for that, he’d probably have his own show on Fox News by now.) We’re sure it wasn’t the Universe’s intention to violently punish him in the most ironic way possible — it was just a prank, bro.
Isaac feels like a fraud pretty much every day. Follow him on Twitter.
Feel like Kid Rock has betrayed you? Don’t go cold turkey, instead try a KICK ROCKS shirt as a way to cope with the pain.
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