#if ppl get mad at me for this i think i will just lose my mind
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🏨 gimme those blorbo rooms fdsfdsfsfsd, since it’s Pinterest can I ask for more than one? XD if so ima ask to Karimas and Shaheens OH and also Gideons (low key I know what valens/yazans looks like but its a good excuse for u to get to share) so if u want to Valens and Yazans wild be fun 😌
K BYEEE <3 😘
LOLL im glad you asked and yes i will give you all of them 😌😂😂
Karima: she’s obsessed with collecting room decor and she has a crochet corner, half of her decor is crocheted too honestly 😂 I think she also has a thing for animal print stuff esp curtains and pillow cases, she’d keep small ceramics stuff she made with daemon everywhere
Shaheen: idk why it was funny to imagine his college dorm lol he uses space very efficiently also his desk is very important 🧠
Gideon: his room is so big and so empty but he’s barely home so who cares, the only notable thing about it besides the diabolical toys collection on display is the display cabinet he keeps all his medals, plane models, pictures, uniforms etc in
Yazan: yazan’s room as you know is a Dumpster 😂 it’s impossible to find anything in there and it’s never tidy, also so many posters and records + ofc drum corner
Valen: very pretty but his room is an entire house in itself you need directions to where everything is 💀 Texas king bed with a canopy, mirror above bed/on ceiling, maximalist unique decor and very beautifully coordinated color wise. Also huge portraits of himself obviously lol
[OC headcanons: Picture Edition!]
#thank u for the ask bestie I had a blast heh 💗💗💗#rip I just thought about the amount of STUFF karima would have to move to her and daemon’s place FJSKAJSKSK#she’s also the type to keep a lot of crap just because they have some sentimental value to her but it’s literally just crap from#an outside perspective#I don’t think shaheen’s dorm room is that aesthetic but he does have a lot of hangers and organization stuff that sure keeps it tidy lol#yazan I think gets tidier when he gets with kiara#she’s seen the mess at its worst but yk KDJSKSJS he wouldn’t let her live like that is what I’m saying 😂#but it’s so funny that even tho she has seen the mess and sat in it that he cleans up a bit when she comes over after they started dating#he’s like shy I guess can’t invite your gf over and have your room in this state lol what if they want to kiss on the bed or something#sorry crush not gf* 😂 he’s better when he’s older fjsksjdkdj he has a vacuum cleaner obsession now#also ig when you’re gideon and you’re room is that empty you put everything you can on display to fill it#but I think he only puts up the stuff he’s proud to have on display#even if that includes your whips and ropes collection which is insane 💀#half of gideon’s stuff is at valen’s place too FRKEJAKSJ#such a waste of money on a penthouse’s rent and for what#you don’t even have a toothbrush in your own house#it’s so funny to me that he probably keeps using his travel size stuff bc he keeps forgetting to buy like#regular size toothpaste or something 😭😂#valen has been actively trying to get him to fully move in actually lol#he succeeded eventually lol#anyways I will not think about valen moving all of gideon’s clothes and things#to a closet in his dressing room and sitting with them and going through his stuff when he misses him#he’s usually hesitant about wearing them too besides a designated sweater or two so they don’t lose his scent#I will also not think about valen spraying those shirts with what’s left of gideon’s cologne or that he keeps buying it or the fact that he#gets mad when someone from the staff goes in to clean the closet or ppl he’s dated esp asking what’s in there#ok it’s 2:30 am so I’ll put myself on phone timeout now 😔#again! Ty for the ask bestie! djskskdkfj 💗💗💗#ocs#my ocs#ask
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wait that idea is making me lose it pep comes over to hang out one day and he’s like guys. I need you to not die. and they’re like?? aha ofcourse bud no problem. and he’s like (700 years of life experience and has watched several friends die) (probably just lost simon or finn and is raw but won’t admit it any other way to his wizard friends) no I mean it guys. I’m going to figure out a way, to continually extend your lifespans. since I’m immortal now. no it’s ok my mom has been into immortality experimentation and the extension of life and regeneration since like forever.
like where were you when our friend died a few years back when we were kids and can you bring him back
(oh yeah lemme check with my other mom, who can do necromancy. no, I said my OTHER mom, the one who can do it without the use of potions that frequently backfire)
#not art#I feel like when I talk about this au I lose a lot of my ability to give background I’m just like you guys know what’s up#you ppl who are here for gumball. or even advtime. you know enough about the intricacies of the advtime wizard city plot#to follow this au along. I know it.#well anyways.#honestly this works in that pepperminteppi au or in just regular. he just wakes up one day like nyyahg you guys cannot die on me#(like spader did)(like other guys in my life outside the city have done)#awww pep is your Sadness kicking in? dw we have a lot of resources for that hang on#<- take me to wizard city get me the sadness and madness resources they probably have everywhere#Unless. aw fuck I’m gonna go feral. unless it’s#—Guys I got so excited about madness and sadness (unrelated to this post even!) that I think I maxed out my tags it was crazy#you shoulda been there. anyways. I just talk so much#I saved them elsewhere you’ll see my thoughts someday but not here today#adventure time#distant lands#peppermint#I guess#just to organize it
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Sorry for another vent post but here goes
#like i'm not looking for a relationship ok ? but i met this guy and we've been hooking yp#but like he is being all sweet and caring and he is great don't get me wrong#he's like eddie munson i'm not gonna lie#but at the same time he doesn't get my jokes and when i make a sarcastic comment or something funny he always thinks i'm being honest#and then he's too sweet if it makes sense in normal convos? BUT if i am ganuinely distressed (which i am a lot you guys know)#he is just not very emotionally intelligent 😬 and like it's all fun and wtv but i feel like he might like me more than i like him#and i called him babe once bc i had this girl friend who calls everyone babe and i spent like 3 days with her so i called him that#and now he always calls me babe and i'm like 😐 pls stop but i can't tell him to stop bc it will seem rude#and yeah my friends that know him are like he's such a cool guy and so sweet and everything and it looks like we're dating#but like we're not man we're not i met him a few weeks ago#anyway i think in reality i'm trying to find bad things about him just so i can justify not liking him and sabotage the whole thing bc +#+ i'm too afraid lmao#i think i'm emotionally unavailable and don't want a relationship or feel ready for it at all#i feel like i'm starting that age most ppl have at 18/19 of exploring and just vibing except i should have gone through that then#but i never got the change bc of abusive relationships and being at home and not having freedom to just exist#and now i do and i feel like if i start dating someone i'll lose my freedom again#which should not even happen in a healthy relationship but that's how i feel#maybe will talk about this to my therapist see what he says#i think i know what he will say like 'you're just afraid don't think about it too much tell him how you feel'#and i HAVE told him generally how i feel and that i don't want to move mad about it and he was like 'no were just getting to know eachother
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fascinated by the number of replies on that poll that are just "no bc it's none of my business" like. ok???? extremely weird point to make. would it also be none of your business if that friend like. mugged somebody. hit their partner. tf does "it's not my business" have to do with anything they have displayed blatant disregard for the trust and love of others. it's GONNA be your business when they do some heinous shit behind your back.
#idk man i think ppl give run of the mill cheaters too much credit like#“yeah but are they sorry?” “yeah but did they only do it once?” do you think cheaters are like. possessed. like they black out and do shit#what is so complicated about "person has agreed to terms in a relationship in which both parties have placed a lot of trust in each other#only to turn around and DECIDE (BECAUSE YOU DON'T? ACCIDENTALLY CHEAT?) that actually my feelings are more important than other ppl's trust#i knew the replies would make me mad but VMIFKFJGFJJH seriously. it's none of your business. that's ALL you've got#yoshi talks#like i'm not saying they don't deserve to ever have friends again. i'm just saying if someone treats people who trust them#that badly on purpose that like. if they do lose friends they have no one to blame but themself.#and also like i'm lowkey concerned for all these ppl just waving off any responsibility like! cool! good to know i can't#count on you not to literally find out someone has been mistreated and then pretend you didn't see it either!#like u know that a) you ALSO sound like an untrustworthy loser who will just decide throw ppl to the wolves#and b) you're like? putting yourself at risk of being lied to or turned on or betrayed too? if ur friend can do that to one person#they can do it to ANYONE. that means u too!!! get out of there!!!! u deserve friends who won't throw u away like trash the second ur#friendship inconveniences them!!!!
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#hmm its been an interesting week i suppose#very busy in a good way. but that is always how it starts. i make myself so busy and it feels good and then i wobble and fall out of my body#so im feeling wary. also bc ive been under sleeping more than ususal but im not really tired but im also not boiling out of my skin with#energy. i just feel ok. so thats good. but also a demon in the back of my head is always like: then stay up all night. lets see how far we#can push this. which is not good. and in fact ive been proscribed like basically emergency mood stablizers to knock me out if i start like#losing my mind and not sleeping lol. bc i dont wanna b getting ready for something big and like completely unavailable to control my#ability to think. and ive also been proscribed birth control to get a handke on my fucked up hormones. so we'll see if that makes things#less all over the place. hopefully it works bc im so busy i kinda dont have time to like freak thr fuck out#but i am a lil apprehensive bc like i can count on my hormones to make me feel things when a lot of the time i dont have much emotional#range. so its like fuck finally i can cry abt this. or like fuck this is so beautiful. but then i also cant function sometimes#so i guess i just gotta see what happens. sigh. also the typical frustrating in having to read so much. like ppl hear im dyslexic and r like#oh do u want accommodation? like literally wtf r u gonna do to help me as a grad student? it just takes an agonizing amount of time to#understand thing. i have my computer read to me and i suffer. theres literally nothing else to b done abt it. and fucking next week i have#to teach a fucking lab abt reading scientific papers. they have to read a paper in class. fuck off. those r the types of exercises that make#me feel so fucking stupid. like do this thing right now. read it right here and answer questions abt it. and i fucking read it and retain#fucking nothing. im fucking 26 and literally in my grant writing class i have to apologize to every person before i give them feedback like#lol sorry i can barely fucking read. i fucking cant understand language. its fine but it sucks. theres nothing to do abt it. it just makes#me mad i have to teach a class that would have made me cry as an undergrad. so ill prob hold their hands thru it more than the other TAs#will. bc fuck u im not making them read a whole fucking paper in class. fuck u#plus the frustration of not being able to express myself well in thr moments. like theres a delay in my brain so i feel so dumb when im#trying to convey myself off the top of my head. like give me time and ill write it all out for u i just cant actually process wtf ur saying#to me. also i probably spaced out for a sec so i missed part of the convo lol. frustrating but at this point its just how it is. it makes me#more empathetic when i have to teach i guess. like listen ive got all kinds of fucking learning probs i just wanna help u learn something#how can i help? fucking dyslexia. god. i dont wanna prep for class this weekend. ive gotta show up like yea i kno reading papers is hard at#first but it gets easier! fuck u. its worth the suffering if i enjoy to topic but its always suffering. but thats what i get for going into#academia. thr dr who proscribed me stuff was like well sounds like u have a stress trigger and ur a phd student where life is stress... u#gotta figure out whats gonna work for u. sometimes thats a career change. not in like a pushy way just like: if what u do makes u suffer#then wtf r u doing? and hes got a point. but in contrast to what i was doing this is a massive improvement#well see if its manageable. ugh. i just wanna draw#unrelated
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not to be a pain-crazed wild animal. i KNOW i do this every time. but p*riods are so fucking crazy. like my cr*mps are so bad my body is trying to strangle itself but im awake and i need to be at work in 2 hrs and get thru an entire 9 hr workday as if im not in excruciating pain and im gonna bring my heating pad and my p*in r*lief cr*am if you catch my drift (💀) and i’ll need to use them DURING a busy day in which i will not see any other ppl who get periods in person and using them is gonna be a whole awkward thing. like omg. this is not fucking normal lol
#purrs#it is normal obviously. but it’s SO fucking frustrating like omfg the amount of time i lose every single month to being in pain like this#FOR NO REASON and like half the global population has to deal w that and it’s like it’s nothing. idk. despair and suffering and misery#delete later#menstruation tw#the thing that really gets me abt it is how my mom (ik i said i would stop complaining abt her on here but we have been fighting all month#LOL so im giving myself permission) gets so fucking pissed at me and my sister when we’re in too much pain to do chores bc she thinks we’re#being lazy / making excuses and then she compares us to o it brother like.. omg um YOU should know how painful this can be first of all and#second of all why would you even make that comparison when he doesn’t lose a third of his life to his body trying to tear itself apart! lol!#and yes i could work from home or calll out sick but consider: i am mentally illabout not being at work. which * is gonna be on my ass abt w#when they hear me say that bc i know im gonna make a whole awkward big deal abt my heating pad. UGHHHHH embarrassing lmaooooo#like why do people have REGULAR B*DILY F*NCTIONS!!!!! REGULAR!!!!!!! that REGULARLY put them in this amount of pain and we have to just deal#with that like it’s nothing and be discreet about and whatever. ew i sound like um… someone who cares too much abt stuff like this lol but I#im so mad abt it rn like oh my GOD can the pain just not be part of it can we just evolve to get rid of that or put structures in place in a#society for ppl to be more accepting / supporting / whatever of it. please please please please please#(also goes for more than just p*riods btw. like imagine if as a society we had things in place for ppl who are regularly in#chronic pain of any kind 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 what a world that would be 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 wow i sure hope it happens in my lifetime 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍)
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Im saying this as someone who's secondary social media is vent. (An app so unprofitable the former owner had to lie to sell it and the current owner is losing money to keep it afloat.) But no matter how anticapitalist the user base is, it will never change that social media is firstly a product. And that if products don't make money they get taken off the market.
#I'm not in the mood to online discourse but I am in the mood to complain so unrebloggable#But damn it's fucking wild how Mad some people are getting over ppl saying 'u know if tumblr gets no money it will shut down?'#Like the amount of ppl who seem to just be like 'no what the fuck how dare you say that'#Like it's just a true statement?????#Frankly the only reason vent is still running despite being in the red for so long is#I have no idea#It should have shut down like it was going to shut down then the owner went 'actually ummm I've decided to not do that!'#Like huh?#But the whole app got gutted and replaced with a shittier cheaper version that sucks that I still don't like#But vent example aside#It's so weird to me to use a free product and just. Be so big mad when they go#'Hey were trying really hard to keep this product free but it's losing money now if you like this product could you give us money?'#And then when the current users say 'fuck you no'#Ofc the business would go 'okay then we'll make this product more like other ones with bigger user bases that actually pay money'#I'm on the fence if I actually like tumblr or actually want to keep using social media bc its not been good for my mental health#But just interesting to see how much ppl love denying the reality of what's going on#I don't think tumblrs current user base is going to ever shell up the money to keep this place running though#Really not sure if they'd be able to attract new users#The whole internet seems like it's getting too expensive to up keep#I think social media is discovering its never going to be as profitable as the businesses who own it wanted it to be lol#So everything is getting worse as the businesses are trying to squeeze blood from a stone at this point#It internet has already changed so much but it's about to change even more#Honestly the US is probably about to go into a recession#So I think social media is just one of many things that's struggling to make money rn which is why it's all looking bad
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Idk why i expect charitability from ppl who probably listen to whatever their staple favorite left-leaning video essayists says about the Other Leftists they dont like and takes it to heart and doesnt form their own opinion with the information provided (or the information specifically and intentionally left out to make the person look the worst that they can) just kinda does whatever that persons says because Its Probably Correct
I mean, theyre "on the left" and uses all the words you like, nevermind what their intentions or long terms goals are or how thatd reasonably be practiced irl or if it'd actually hurt the general cause of progressives and make things even more divisive and worse bc they value being petty more than actually having any values.
#yall be like 'i better go watch this black person who believes in racial separatism and take everything they say to heart and not form my#own opinion because the Correct Thing To Do is to let every minority im not say shit that would only help nazis in the long run Because Im#Not That Minority So Clearly I Have No Stake In This'. like idk. its one thing to pretend you understand every thing about a certain#minorities experience that you dont have. its a whole other thing to actually challenge people on their beliefs. and if the person you#are challenging cant give you a good enough answer or dodges or gets MAD at you for even asking - you should probably avoid them or at the#very least not just believe every fucking thing they say and never come to your own conclusions on shit.#people are supposed to have the critical thinking ability to have their beliefs challenged and give you an actual answer#theyre supposed to want you to understand. theyre supposed ro be able to explain it to people who dont understand#and arent in the same spaces enough to understand. if you cant explain to me why racial separatism is somehow Ideal then why should#i listen to you. just to do whatever you say no questions asked or else im bad and very problematic?#like how am i supposed to take this kinda person seriously when they go around calling shark3ozero the c word and other#racist shit. like you're not serious lol. you have no issue just acting like the people who disagree with you on something are just purely#bigots.#when the people you attack are far more on your side than the fucking republicans who yall barely even mention. which is interesting.#anyways if you believe in dividing everyone by race understand that thats LITERALLY what white supremacists want. that is Not the ideal#world for me. idk about you. and if you understand this and still follow me gtfo of here#you're a dipshit and prolly an accelerationist and i dont have time for your bullshit and likely nihilism.#you're gonna end up killing yourself thinking the world is only ever against you and everyone who disagrees w you is a bigot.#and i dont mean necessarily actually putting up a noose i just mean you're gonna isolate yourself SO MUCH from other ppl and stay only in#your one little space. that if you ever lose that space for whatever reason you'll be left alone w no help.#or you'll isolate yourself so much and stay inside forever and be hella paranoid in grocery stores thinkin everyone there Wants To Kill You#and im not gonna act like ik whats in the mind of someone who believes in racial separatism. that was more of an example. but i can try#to understand and i can tell that someone has to go through a lot of bs to think thats the only solution. im not trying to downplay why ppl#might think thats the best option. but really its the same shit w terfs and cis men and it kinda seems like its a solution born from trauma#with convoluted justifications for why its Fine actually#thats how it looks from my angle rn. if thats not the case and you feel like its different im always willing to hear different angles on#stuff. im never married to my positions as im not exactly a static person who never changes.#id say thats quite the opposite of my Whole Thing
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it’s so hard being a lesbian, bc it’s in our nature to bring out the u-haul immediately, but also, i have a really bad habit of rushing things in an unhealthy way, and losing myself. so now i’m trying to take things slow with ppl (it’s…difficult 🙂)
#really liking someone so i wanna barrel through all the stages of a relationship at once#but also i need the time and space so it doesn’t get weird and everything gets ruined#like it’s a very damned if i do/damned if i don’t#bc i feel like if i rush things it’ll ruin everything#but if i don’t rush things it’ll ruin things bc it’ll make things uncomfortable bc it doesn’t seem like i like them as much?#i am aware this isn’t true in any way#my brain is just cracked lol#relationships scare me and i’m soooo rusty bc i haven’t done this shit in like five years#and my last serious relationship was a complete dumpster fire#which completely fucked with my head in ways i am still recovering from#it made all my anxiety worse so now i’m even MORE of a people pleaser#i have to be all perfect and cool or they will be mad at me#if i do something wrong (even if i didn’t actually do anything) they will get mad at me#and i still walk on eggshells around everyone even though i know none of the people close to me would do that#like just suddenly turn on me without warning#i was also raised by a father who did the same thing so there’s that#also this is all completely in general btw#like i’m just venting about how all my relationships have even affected by this over the years#i’ve been so desperate for love i rush headlong into the first relationship and it completely takes me over and i lose myself and it’s#horrible bc it always ends badly#and i don’t wanna do that anymore#i wanna learn to love ppl a lot but still remain my own person as well#i don’t wanna lose myself so much i don’t know who i am anymore#it’s really fucking difficult tho bc i’m so used to it#but i hope to be able to figure it out#maybe even with someone who knows#anyways random late night vent bc i have so many thoughts lately and i’ve come to the conclusion on why i feel so weird#bc i keep feeling like i’m crawling out of my skin and i think i know why#anyways to summarise: i’m not gonna fake how i feel but i’m not gonna rush so much#and i’m seeing how things go 👍🏻
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I don't rlly think ppl understand how scared I am to be an adult
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#“you'll be fine you've got a good head on your shoulders”#and what if I'm not fine? what if I just want to clam up and throw up my insides at the mere thought of even driving??#I've relied on ppl too much to do things for me I know but I don't know what else to do or some shit#every time I look at my parents driving and imagine myself driving on roads I want to hide away and throw up#ppl might just think it's the usual nerves but I don't think it is#It feels way more amplified and while I'm excited to have more freedom with things that freedom is also extremely daunting#I like having things planned out for me with my own schedules and I don't like change#I don't think ppl understand me and I have to use extreme terms like “throw up my insides” or “rip my hair out”#or hell even just straight up gorey detailed violence towards myself and things#but ppl with think I'm insane if I talk like that#but it's the only way I can get the point across#like I'm not insane I promise I just don't know how to normally words things without seeming crazy#driving being able to do my own things and having their own shit is so exciting for others#but that's actually just hauntingly terrifying for me#idk how to deal with it bc ik if my parents try to help me through it I'll just lash out at them and make them mad at me#It's just a fucking lose lose#let me rot away in my room at this point my god#like what you think a trans guy who wants to wreck things bc he feels the need to cut his own skin off#at the feeling of grossness is ready to be a functional adult??#yeah no
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i think ive been in a constant state of melancholy
#or im losing my mind#idk i was 'normal' for like 3 weeks i was functioning making shit doing work girlbossing if you will#and i was driving yesterday and i keep breaking cuz i see people everywhere just crossing the street and shit without a care#and my mom lept getting mad at me cuz allegedly there was nobody there#so im like hm. even tho its fl ppl in my area have sense so i know what im seeing isnt real so its whtvr ill manage#and then im driving but i cant focus cuz my head is yelling st me to swerve and drive through buildings or swerve off the road cuz#“if u dont now then something much worse will hit you later and itll be fatal” so i went home. and now i just have a pit of dread or sadnes#or nostalgia or whtvr#the pit is unrelated to the thoughts and shit. i think its always been there and im jusg aware of it#like yknow how ur always breathing but it becomes manual when ur aware? ya. but it hurts#my throat feels like its closing up my chest and stomach is heavy im crying somethn js happening idk what#it could b nostalgia cuz im thinking ab my friends j dont talk to anymore. could be dread ab my future cuz j lowk donr have a plan#could b melancholy (a word ive been looking for for forever and just remembered) could be some type of panic/anxiety attack#idk. idk idk idk#l speaks#shut up l#ranting in the tags because i can#but its 2 am i gotta b up at 9 for mass so hopefully i can sleep off whatever this js#i am going to pretend its nothint serious because i like to drive i love driving and i am normal and i cant afford shit going wrong now.
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if i have to make one more fucking proof i'm gonna blow my brains out
#i actually have like 5 more i have to do#and i'm going to scream#it doesn't help that the ppl here don't know how to do my job#so i send shit to customers and it's not perfect#i'm not a perfectionist but some people are and they r MAD#like thats not my fault first of all i just started working here#urgghhhhhhhh this job is killing me and it hasn't even been 2 months#i don't think i have even reached the length of time i have to work here to get benefits#EVIL EVIL EVIL#i'm losing it#desk jobs are not for me i'm learning#ok rant over#idk if anyone actually sees my tumblr posts#but it's probably better that way
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god can someone explain how to use insurance cards at appointments all that. im getting absolutely no guidance rn
#aesthetic rambles#teehee when i have to do everything myself bc no one provides even a decent explanation im gonna THROW UP#im sso fucking mad#first i had to email my college to get my deadname off the alt email address and THEN to even get access to an orientation that was mandato#-ry THEN i finally got to choose classes and thankfully the ppl helping me were rlly nice#and then my birth certificate shit has been hellish and just a back and forth#where im getting forwarded to 6573698 diff emails and then a 'um we dont have that' so i had to-#uno reverse and show them the fucking document saying they should have a certified copy and wowww im losing my mind#bc suddenly its bombshell over bombshell where ppl arent explaining anything until i fail and then its like 'um actually u could-'#SHUT UP SHUT UP JUST TELL ME BEFOREHAND SO I DONT LOOK STUPID#im soooo mad i think im genuinely just gonna cry
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I love how my first two pmd randomizer teams I characterised them in my head as different flavors of ah goofy and now these new guys are just a bunch of assholes. Just a gaggle of shitheads who think they're better than everyone else. They all hate eachother and think they're the only normal person here. They r also best friends but they do kill eachother on a regular basis.
#rat rambles#I wish that last part was a joke but alas shitty ai moments#also funnily enough dusknoir got randomized to mightyana again (he also did in the last one) so thats convienent#but yeah mantis and moth are no memories rip buddies and their partymembers spider and gnat are their gay worsties (seperate not dating)#moth used to be a different pokemon they know that much but they dont remember anything beyond that#but yeah moth is very polite and anxious to most but to their partymembers they r a lot more blunt and snappy#they value their time greatly and always want to cut to the point when they can and they are also incredibly power hungry#mantis is very Tired and also blunt but they care less abt not upsetting higher ups so they just speak their mind always#this initially pissed moth off but as mantis started saying the things they actually wanted to say for them they tollerated it more#spider is a mismagius and hes very smooth talking thinks hes soooo cool type but he still has a short temper#he also loves poking fun at the others and coincidentally if any of them are killed by another its usually him#and lastly the newest recruit gnat the leafeon. she is loud and confident and is also very ambitious#she is a masterful lier except for the fact that shes always obviously lying but ppl just believe her anyways?? and it drives mantis mad#together they may get the job done but they also may just all kill eachother before they can finish one mission lol#also Ive found so fucking many gold masks its stupid theyre fucking everywhere#Ive also found two space globes which is pretty sick#since I have my full team assembled now Im gonna need to chose out a new held item for mantis tho so spider might lose his space globe rip#if I can get the trap seeing glasses whatever theyre called though he can keep it those things are so fucking useful#its honestly less the trap showing part and more the hidden stairs showing part for me thats twice the stairs on each floor#well theyd be there anyways but like yknow what I mean
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sometimes the idea of hurting myself is so appealing to me, but im always too cowardly to ever act upon those thoughts and i cant convince myself thats a good thing anymore
#tara says stuff#vent#sometimes i think i want to hurt myself bc i want to know how others would react. bc i want to know that they actually care abt me#bc i dont feel sure that anyone cares enough about me aside from my mother anymore#and sometimes i want people to just. get mad at me. i want to give them a reason to hate me#and i dont know why#maybe its bc i think im too awful for anyone to have ih their lives#maybe its bc i want to hurt enough so i stop being cowardly about hurting myself more#maybe i want everyone to leave all at once so that i dont have to experience losing ppl again afterwards
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enha giving you partner privilege ˖ ࣪ ˒ ♡⃕
requested <3
PAIRING ! enhypen x gn!reader
GENRE ! cavity inducing fluff!
WC ! 3.1k
WARNINGS ! being judged for wearing a skirt in jungwon’s
a/n: help i’m sorry this took literal months but finally feeding u all an enha reaction-ish T-T i took multiple long breaks between most of these so. sorry if it’s weird lol
LEE HEESEUNG !
if literally anybody tries to tease or make fun of this man.. oh no
he is NOT afraid to retaliate and tear them to shreds, even if it’s his closest friends or members <\3
when it comes to you though..
he just ,, LETS YOU ?!
and everyone else agrees that it’s totally unfair, INCLUDING YOU because you wanted a reaction.. that’s the whole point of teasing :(
but instead he just sits there with a dumb little smirk because he thinks you’re so cute and wants to give you a kiss as you continue calling him a loser 🧌
“hah, you suck. i don’t even play video games and i won,” you taunt with a big, victorious grin
heeseung doesn’t even complain or fight back, continuing to go past the results screen with a nonchalant smirk, “yeah yeah.. you just got lucky”
however, you begin to pout slightly, earning no actual reaction from your relentless teasing
so you try and push him further, “nuh uh, i think you’re just bad. but it’s okay seungie, you can’t be good at everything~”
well, that doesn’t work either
instead of getting mad heeseung just GRINS, quietly admiring how cute you look when you’re all cocky and smug about your little victory
aaand then everything goes downhill when sunghoon enters the room 😟
the tall boy snickers immediately at the sight of the tv, watching your character dance in victory, “nice one, y/n!”
you grin up at the younger with a wink, “thanks hoon, i must admit, it was an easily won battle.”
he laughs harder, “next time you gotta go easy on him,” feeling brave apparently, sunghoon has the nerve to ruffle your boyfriend’s fluffy hair with a mischievous smirk, “you know how hyung gets when he loses.”
yikes
heeseung’s once adoring expression turns into one of (half joking) annoyance, jaw clenched as he swats sunghoon’s hand away from his head
“really bro? 1v1 me right now then, i’ll kick your ass and we both know it,” he sasses, getting ready to throw the other controller at the boy
the speed in which sunghoon bolted outta the room in pure terror
you’re just 🧍
“no fair, how come you don’t get mad when i tease you?” you complain, crossing your arms like a toddler
heeseung’s expression softens again, pulling you towards his side of the couch for a warm hug, “s’cause you’re my baby,” he murmurs cheesily against your skin
“and ‘cause i let you win.”
“aw— wait what?” 😕
// PARK JAY !
the amount of privilege you have as this man’s partner?? lord
there is a lOt
you get excused for every little thing
even though jay hates ppl touching his hair he lets you?! and of course will make you food ALL the time
while if anyone else asks, they’ll prob have to spend some time convincing him for a while or bribe him y’know
but perhaps the biggest one..
disturbing jay during his naps is equivalent to asking for a punch in the face
it’s pretty much common knowledge amongst the members that it’s impossible to wake him up anyway
but if they somehow do get him up, they should expect many annoyed grunts and remarks and probably a middle finger before he inevitably falls back to sleep
naps are very serious business for mr park
BUT when you’re in the picture..
suddenly he gets all soft and compliant..
his members find this very annoying and you’re just like hah losers 🥰
at this point they start facetiming you whenever he’s napping because bro practically launches out of bed at the sound of your voice
“hyung, hyung wake up!” jungwon is literally shaking the older boy, pushing him back and forth on the bed
yet he is sTiLL asleep
there has to be some kind of sleeping competition they can sign him up for because god he deserves an award <\3
jungwon eventually gives up, calling for sunghoon’s help
and how does he help?
giving him a big smack on the head of course
finally, jay flinches awake, groaning as he touches his head, “what the hell hoon?!”
“dinner’s ready! ” jungwon quickly announces with a grin, “me and sunoo tried cooking this time and i swear, we didn’t burn anything and it actually tastes—“
“don’t care. let me sleep.”
“but hyung the—“
*snores*
sunghoon sighs, “alright, it’s time we pull out the big guns.”
by that, they mean forcing you to come over there in exchange for some of the boys’ homemade dinner
jungwon and sunghoon watch from the doorway as you tiptoe over to the bed, doing what you do best: tricking your boyfriend
“pretty boy,” you whisper, tracing down his sharp jawline with a feathering touch
and like that, jay starts stirring, eyes eventually fluttering open
“oh, so i have to slap him, but they just cARess his face and suddenly he’s rising and shining— ow!” sunghoon groans when jungwon elbows him into the wall to shut him up
jay yawns, “y/n? what’re you doing here?”
he reaches up to give you a peck, and you nearly coo at his raven hair all tangled cutely
“wanted to have dinner with you guys,” you lie, grabbing his hand to pull him up
“yeah but i was napping..” he protests childishly, making jungwon roll his eyes in the background
it was rare for jay to have his baby moments, but it happens !!
you continue rubbing his hand, “well you also have to eat babe, and i’m gonna be here too.”
at that, he sighs, but gets up from bed, stretching with a yawn
“hallelujah!” sunghoon cheers, prancing over to give you a high five
jungwon groans, “what would we do without you y/n”
jay is just 🧍
“aish.. you were forced here to wake me up weren’t you?”
all three of you make nervous eye contact before running off to the kitchen jungwon claps his hand at last, “who’s ready to have the most life changing meal of your lives?”
// SIM JAEHYUN !
jake’s a little shy about it
but if someone takes something of his he will definitely go D:
he does a little pout!!
and if it’s something that he absolutely REFUSES to share
like a straw
then he’ll be like “ay that’s mine, go get your own!!” in a half joking, jake way y'know?
but when it comes to you…
he cant say no to your cute face <3
everything jake owns? yours
congrats you have a whole second closet now
want some of his food? take the whole plate !!
he even calls you layla’s other parent despite being very very protective of her :(((
thats when you knew you’re extremely special to him !
jake’s just peacefully lying on the couch, waiting for you to finish up showering
when all of a sudden heeseung strolls in, humming as he goes to fill up a glass of water in the kitchen
as jake was about to greet him, his brows furrow at the sight of a familiar logo on the back of the older boy’s green shirt
“hyung..?” he calls suspiciously
“hmm?”
“is that my shirt?”
heeseung looks down for a moment, scanning his outfit before shrugging
“maybe. found it on the floor,” the older replies
jake just frowns
“bro, i don’t wanna share shirts with you! you’re always sweaty as hell after playing league until 3am!”
heeseung takes a leisurely sip of his water, uncaring of the whiney younger boy on the couch, “well too bad. stop leaving your shit on the floor then.”
before jake can give him another pouty complaint, the sound of a yawn coming out of his room leads both boy’s to turn and investigate
a huge smile rushes to jake’s face at the sight of you in one of his t-shirts just like heeseung, the soft white fabric overflowing down your thighs
“angel! is that my shirt?” he giggles cutely
“uh yeah, is that okay?”
“what, of course! you look adorable, c’mere angel,” your boyfriend demands with grabby hands, ignoring heeseung’s disbelieving eye roll nearby
“but when i wear your shirt it’s the end of the goddamn world, huh?”
you snicker quietly as you walk over to jake, letting him pull you in for a kiss
jake smirks, “mhm, now give it back or i’m eating all our ramen without you.”
“you wouldn’t..”
“try me, hyung~”
then he sticks his tongue out in his classic jake way 💪
// PARK SUNGHOON !
getting straight to the point here
when someone touches sunghoon he’s immediately on guard
he’s a lot better with those who are close to him, but he still gets a bit stiff and awkward
and with strangers.. he’ll just try and find an escape right away
this goes especially for his facial area
he will not hesitate to swat anyone’s hand away or flinch in annoyance if they try to pinch his cheeks or poke his nose >:(
similarLY to how sunoo was now
“i saw you blushing when that engene in the front row called you hot~” the younger boy snickers, “you’ve been an idol for two years now, and you’re still not used to that?”
then suddenly hoon’s cheeks are being pushed together, making his lips form a pout
“our sunghoonie is so cute~”
his hand is quickly slapped away 😒
“ow!”
before sunoo can even complain you’re rushing into the dressing room with a vip pass around your neck, running over to give your boyfriend a hug
sunoo watches with a pout as you cup sunghoon’s jaw, reaching up to give him a peck
“you did amazing as usual, i’m so proud!”
yeah
contrary to pretty much everyone else, sunghoon wants your touch and enjoys it thoroughly <3
in your hold, he’s completely relaxed; pushing his cheek further into your hand as he wraps his arms around you
“thank you,” he whispers with a cheeky grin
feeling playful, you even go to pinch his cheeks
and instead of getting mad the boy just gigGLES like a whipped idiot
sunoo crosses his arms, “what!? no fair!”
hoon kinda forgot his bandmate was there to witness everything 🧌
“yah, why’re you still there?” he barks, “shoo!”
you purse your lips to hold in your laugh, waving bye to the sulking boy who only rolls his eyes
you snicker once he’s gone, “so.. what was that about?”
sunghoon sighs, “don’t worry about it..” you raise a brow when he scoops you up, placing you on the makeup table, “now, where were we? celebrating how good i did, right ;)”
// KIM SUNOO !
this one’s a lil’ hard because sunshine is kinda bad at saying no and lets his members get away with a bit toO much
but he still tries to be is very strict when it comes to paying for things because why should he be paying for niki’s new pokemon game ??
of course if it’s his members birthday, an occasional treat, or maybe if he lost a bet it’d be an exception
but besides that he’s pretty good at not falling for the members puppy eyes and pouty whining
this of course isn’t the same for you
you’re literally the love of his life!! his partner of COUrse he has to spoil you and buy you absolutely everything you want >:(
sunoo will literally tell you beforehand to not let him sEe your wallet on dates or he’ll get upset
(even though when he becomes all pouty you only think he’s adorable)
sunoo would be doing his skincare
having the time of his life y’know putting his face mask on and—
“hyung, can you—“ before he can even finish, riki starts CACKLING and sunoo already knows it’s because of his green face mask ..
“you— you look like-“ he snorts, “the little green guy from monsters inc-“
sunoo slaps his arm, “yah, i do not. what do you want, brat?”
the younger boy grins, staring at him through the mirror
“so… splatoon 3 came out and..”
“absolutely not”
riki gAsps in offense, “why not!? it’s only like 90$!”
“do i look like your mom?”
“kinda—“
“shut up. go ask jake hyung, you know he can’t say no to you”
then suddenly
you, who was on your boyfriend’s bed waiting for his return, prance into the bathroom as well
“sunnie guess what!?”
sunoo smiles brightly at your arrival, pausing his ministrations to meet your eyes
“hmm?”
you grab his arm, shaking him back and forth, “seventeen is coming on tour here next month! we have to get tickets!”
he gasps, “really!? okay, i’ll get us tickets tonight!”
but then riki.. 🧌
“hyung, why will you buy y/n a concert ticket but i can’t get a game?”
“because they’re y/n and you’re riki ☺️”
ouch <\3
// YANG JUNGWON !
AWHhh won’s the cutest with giving you privilege T-T
there’s a lot of super small things that you might not even notice
like letting you touch his dimples, wear his clothes or play with his hair
you may not realise your privilege ‘cause if anyone else did those things he proBably wouldn’t say anything
because he’s jungwon
BUT when you do it he genuinely encourages you and gets all giggly <3
one thing you’ve definitely noticed though is how protective wonnie tends to get over you compared to others
he’s already quite protective of the people he loves as is
but 99% of the time he won’t mention or say anything if an issue comes up:
say an interviewer makes a comment he doesn’t approve of
some backhanded compliment to one of his members
or maybe a joke gone too far
he isn’t the type to say something rude in response or bring it up off camera, at most the interviewer would receive a very harsh glare and frown
when it comes to his partner though..
no no absolutely nOt.
you are his responsibility!! his person, his love and therefore he will not hesitate to defend you and fight anyone who dares to bring a tear to your face
suddenly his normal coherent thoughts of ‘it’s okay jungwon, don’t say anything, be professional’ FLIES OUT THE WINDOW BECAUSE no. he will not accept this
for example!!
one day you and won were going on a cute lil picnic in the park <3
you decided to wear a skirt for the heck of it, thinking it’d look cute especially with the picnic idea and the weather getting a tad warmer
so once you’re both out of the car, jungwon holding the basket of pastries while you carried the drinks and blanket, you were both pretty sure nothing could ruin the cheery mood
jungwon even complimed your skirt, mentioning how he thought it suited you perfect :D
“wah, i’ve been wanting to have a picnic all year. really, this is gonna be perfect!” your boyfriend says cheekily
“mhm, next time we should bring mauemi though!”
you wait for jungwon’s reply with a smile, but it quickly drops when you look up to see an old woman on a bench staring at you as if you’d done something terrible, her wrinkly face pulled into a displeased frown
brows furrowing, you follow her gaze to your bare legs, a tug of insecurity forming in your stomach as she scans you up and down
“..and the squirrels would be perfect to chase—“ jungwon pauses when he glances over at you, worry increasing as he notices your visibly deflated expression, “jagi?”
his eyes follow yours, widening when he sees the lady send you daggers from across the park
jungwon’s brows furrow, holding your hand tighter with every step you take closer to her
if it was anyone else, he knew that he wouldn’t say a thing; probably brush it off, maybe send her a frown back
but he simply can’t help the words that tumble from his mouth, “is something wrong, ma’am?”
your eyes widen right away because wonnie nEver has the guts to call people out like that usually???
ESPEcially not an elderly person ..
of course, the old woman only scoffs rudely in response, muttering something in a malicious tone under her breath
the boy holding your hand smirks in satisfaction and you sigh, quickly leading him away as fast as possible
“yah, why’d you do that?!” you whisper-yell
he gives you an obvious glance, “because i didn’t like how she looked at you”
jungwon looks cute 99% of the time, but at that moment with the harsh glare on his face, he’s a bit intimidating even to you <\3
you gulp, “still..”
“no, y/n,” he interrupts sternly, “i refuse to let my pretty s/o stay upset when there’s something i can do about it”
with that, jungwon places down the picnic basket and starts pulling out your snacks like nothing happened <3
“so, what should we eat first?” :D
// NISHIMURA RIKI !
sigh.
now for this boy your partner privilege is THROUGH THE ROof okay
the difference in how he treats you to everyone else??
literally anyone can see the difference even if it’s their first time meeting you guys
riki’s a combo of all the previous ones
lets u wake him up whenever and even interrupt him while dancing/gaming
definitely gives u all the pda u want but if anyone else tries it he may bite them
and ofc defends you withOut hesitation even if it’s just some lame joke he will roast them right back mf !!!
the most noticeable point though is for sure how a majority of the time he listens to whatever you say ON THE FIRST TRY
it’s ‘majority of the time’ because if he didn’t annoy you at least a bit that wouldn’t be riki
it could be something so small
sunghoon and you would be chilling on the couch, then he’d see riki walk in
“yah, can you get me a water?”
mans gets ignored as niki pUshes him over to sit next to you instead
“no, i’m lazy.”
sunghoon just rolls his eyes, meanwhile you were on your phone; completely oblivious to the conversation as you reach over to kiss the younger boy’s cheek
“babe, can you go grab me a drink please?”
bro SPRINTS to the kitchen without another word 🧌
nobody knows why he’s so enthusiastic to serve you but !!
sunghoon is tempted to call him a simp
or exhibit b
you’re at the dorms watching jake and niki play some video game
or at least. they were supposed to be playing together
but apparently it was a single player game and your boyfriend was being a bit of a hog judging by how they were practically wrestling on the carpet for the controller 😟
then after a while longer jake desperately calls out for you
“y/nnn he won’t give me a turn!”
you realise at that moment that this is what having kids must feel like
meanwhile riki gives u that innocent look as if he did nothing
you sigh, “yah, give jake a turn. haven’t you been playing for like 15 minutes straight?”
jake nods furiously in agreement
he pouts, “well yeah but..”
you give him the stink eye
aaand he passes the controller over without any more complaints <\3
jake lets out a vEry sarcastic thank you while riki wanders all the way over to you and plops down in your embrace like a whiny toddler
then he just looks up at you from your lap
“you look pretty today.”
jake groans in the background while you nearly choke
“all of a sudden??”
“yeah,” he replies simply, “i don’t mind giving up my spot to jake ‘cause i have a much better view now~”
what will you do with this boy 😞
if u enjoyed, reblogs n’ comments r always appreciated!
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