#i watched it years ago when i was much younger in my queerness

[frenchy-wino-jerkface]

So, I was a queer teenager about fifteen years ago. Fifteen years doesn't seem like much, but in TV History, fifteen years is not even BBC Sherlock times yet. So, in Queer TV History, it's basically like comparing modern times to the XVIIIth century : there was the beginning of an idea of equality and justice, but we were clearly not there yet.

The sort-of-gay pairings I saw on TV didn't end up together, or only in some niche content I couldn't get my hands on on national television - and that was where we watched shows at the time. Sometimes they were gay-coded, but what happened most of the time was : the queerest one of the pair ended up alone, living his best quirky-lonely life, while the most straight-passing found a spouse and a respectable straight marriage.

At the same time, I was falling in love with my very queer best friend. These were scary times, we were kids. When she ended up rejecting me and running off, not speaking to me again and going into straight relationships, I felt like I deserved it. That experience, plus the way I saw myself on television, shaped the way I saw my love life. Like I couldn't truly get one.

Now, shows have changed. Shows are queer, and watched by everyone. There isn't just one sort-of gay relationship on the screen, there are several in the same show! And they fall in love, and kiss, and break up, and get back together, and are shown being gentle and loving and couples! Actual couples. I still have to pinch myself sometimes. Before they get together, and despite the entire show screaming at me that it's gay, I still feel like I'm getting queerbaited. I brace myself, I wait for the unavoidable rejection and pain and loss. And yeah, sometimes it's dramatic. But it's always real now. They kiss. They love each other. There's no shame in that anymore.

Damn.

I wonder what it would have done to me and my best friend if we'd seen these shows fifteen years ago. How different I'd be today. I'm a bit sad that I didn't get that, that I was shaped so differently by contents that wanted to make me feel like I didn't quite belong, that I didn't quite deserve to be happy.

I'm sure excited for you younger lots, though. Have fun <3

[roodles03]

Alastor doesn't get it.

Yes, I know Alastor is only confirmed Ace but the way Viv has danced around the confirmation that he's Aro for years now (She's literally said she knows the answer but won't reveal it) to me means he's definitely aro too. Do not leave a comment telling me that he's only ace and I used the wrong flag, I will tell you to read the description in a not nice way. If you want my scorce on this, please go watch Ayy Lmao's video on the topic of Alastor's sexuality on youtube.

Anyway god Rosie is complicated to draw how do the animators on the show do it- but she is one of my favorite character designs in the show. It's so appealing and fits her time. Also Rosie is up there with my favorite characters.

I got the idea for this comic when I got my lesbian flag a few years ago and my little brother (who is 11 years younger then me) saw it and just asked me "What country is that?" Which was both the cutest and funniest fucking thing ever. I thought of it recently and thought "This is perfect for Alastor,"

I also really like the idea of having a character who's queer but doesn't know that they're queer. It makes sense for Alastor as a character due to the time he was born in, and his refusal to use modern technology even after his death in hell. Of course he doesn't know wtf aro/ace is or means and that he is aro/ace himself. Honsetly the majority of people in the modern day don't even know what it means. Even within the queer community.

No joke, my first identity was asexual because I was like "Well I don't have any attraction to boys so I must be ace" ...i didn't even realize I liked girls yet. Didn't even consider it lmao. Much later I found out im demiaro/demiace so me identifying as aro back when I was 12 made sense in the long run LOL.

More Pride drawings are on the way!

[whydidoth]

As someone who frankly watches too much hbomberguy, I was fairly startled by the tone he adopted in his latest video in regard to his own sexuality. He has been openly bisexual, coming out (as far as I’m aware) on his channel five years ago in a video on adaptations of HP Lovecraft, but his bisexuality overall hasn’t been particularly present. Even in instances like discussing the queerbaiting of Sherlock or the ability in Fallout to officially play as a bisexual character, he tends to approach the topics in such a way that if you didn’t already know his sexuality, you’d probably just assume he was a good ally. Genuinely, I would not be surprised if casual viewers of his channel had had no idea. I saw someone else suggest that he centered his own bisexuality so much at the start in order to dissuade accusations of him targeting Somerton for being gay. While I think this is certainly plausible, on a pure narrative level, I can’t help but see this most recent video as a book ends to his one on Lovecraft.

In that video, he talks about the value of adaptation and how adaptation at its best doesn’t recreate the work but is a response in concert with it. He speaks very personally about how the film Cthulu embodied the deep, crawling horror of being an outsider in a way that he resented as a kid. As a queer adult, he came back to find not only catharsis but also that it understood the essence of Lovecraft and of his own experience in a way he had been unable to when he was younger.

In his video on plagiarism, he emphasizes how the harm extends past the simple act of stealing someone else’s work, and how plagiarism goes on to suppress genuine dialogue among new voices with new ideas. In some regard, this is a direct response to his original thesis, and the response is one of despair. We are without adaptation. We are without queer voices and narratives.

This shouldn’t be where things end, and I don’t think he would have bothered uploading this video if he had seen no hope for things going differently in the future. I know it’s fun to revel in the scandal of this call-out, but ultimately, we’re witnessing a tragedy. In addition to supporting and giving small creators a shot, I think we should also take this as a chance to be less hesitant about promoting and sharing our own stories.

I have a youtube channel that’s been sitting in the corner collecting dust for a year now, but I’m going to try picking it up again. I’ll be putting a link to both hbomberguy’s video on Lovecraft and my own channel in the notes, and I would encourage everyone to similarly shamelessly self-promote in the comments—literally everything from soundcloud to twitch to personal blogs, go nuts. Let’s all make sure the future is over-saturated with authentic, marginalized voices, yeah?

[everything-is-as-it-was]

guess i've got to jump on the train of being emotional about Basically I'm Gay seeing as I just watched it and wow. I cannot remember the last time I watched something of that length without a snack, scrolling on my phone, or taking a break. It is truly one of the best things Dan has ever made.

The way he tells his story so earnestly while also keeping it light and entertaining is incredible. The low parts were truly heartbreaking while the funny parts STILL make me laugh out loud, even though I've seen it six or seven times in full by now.

His story gave me so much hope when I was younger, and it still does. Not just for how much more accepting the world is of queer people, but of how someone can pull themselves out of the trenches of mental illness and have such a fulfilling, happy life.

Looking at him now... he's so happy. So goddamn happy; it freaking radiates off of him. And seeing that light now that was not present years ago... it's frankly healing.

If you haven't rewatched Basically I'm Gay this year.... this is your sign to do that.

[eazy-peazy54]

ugh THANK YOU for making that will wood fandom post. okay this ask is gonna be super long and i’m really sorry to vent in your inbox but anyway. i heard about will on tumblr several years ago right after the normal album dropped but before he “blew up” (using that term loosely lol) and i’ve steadily watched his fanbase become more and more unbearable. for context i’m in my mid 20s, so unfortunately quite a bit older than a large portion of his current fans.

it’s really disappointing to me to see how strangely and unhealthily young people interact with media they like. i won’t waste time reiterating what you already said very well, but i will add something about the opposite end of the weird fan spectrum. so you basically called out some of the very public manic obsession that his younger fans display, but then there’s the other fans who do literally the opposite (to an obnoxious degree) where they say he’s literally just some guy etc. and like. i’m totally on board with the just some guy movement like yes let’s please acknowledge that artists are just people who happen to create something that you enjoy (especially small artists like will who aren’t even “famous” like he’s a niche indie artist that gained some recognition for a viral song but there are some kids out here treating him like a c-list celebrity like??) HOWEVER i do not understand why they have to act like any sort of emotional attachment to him or his work is toxic fan behavior. there’s absolutely no balance and it’s exhausting.

i personally feel like i and some of his older fans (older in age and duration i.e. mid 20s and/or been a fan since before early-mid 2021? i feel like that’s when he went viral) naturally engage in a more sane way. i personally am incredibly attached to his music, it means a lot to me, i listen to it a ton, and i also enjoy will as a person; i very much admire the brain, the mind, the person behind the art. i think he’s funny, intelligent, interesting, not to mention one of the most talented musicians / artists in general that i’ve ever come across. i like listening to him in interviews and on his podcast. and i think i manage all of that in a healthy and respectful way. i don’t think it’s difficult. but for some reason there are some fans who probably wouldn’t like the second part of that. they take “separate the art from the artist” way too far. “Do Not Have An Opinion About This Human You Perv”. it’s annoying. calling him pretty or attractive or whatever also gets met with some very weird reactions. “HE’S JUST A GUY” yes most of us are, in fact, just a guy™️ (gender neutral). saying he’s cute is not sexual harassment.

another thing that actually pisses me off so much is these fans describing and categorizing him based on their and their mutuals very specific demographic. “white teenage transmasc audhd neurodivergent mentally ill queer etc. etc. etc.” music. that is such a limited and myopic generalization. first of all, he had fans way before you, your age group is not his target demographic, nor is it his core demographic, on top of that he’s explicitly stated he doesn’t want people your age listening to him. he’s not for you. second, it absolutely makes sense that mentally ill people gravitate towards him given that he himself is severely mentally ill, so this part of the description pisses me off the least, but still, he’s also a recovering/recovered alcoholic, but i don’t see people saying he makes music for addicts? idk.

next is the queer bit. yeah gay people like him. i get it. he’s a queer safe space and that’s cool and i appreciate it but i feel like it’s still narrowing the categorization. he also has a lot of neurodivergent fans and i understand why. i think my main issue is just a combination of all of these very specific descriptors you know? like yeah he has fans that fit all of this but when you lump all of it together to describe his music and the entirety of his fandom then it becomes too much. whatever. anyway. the one that makes me the most mad is the white thing. i hate it when music that isn’t inherently racial is divided by race. it’s alienating and divisive and exclusionary and unnecessary. there are plenty of fans of color and there would probably be even more if some of y’all didn’t insist on generalizing his music based on your own limited experience. i think that’s sort of a microcosm of what a lot of poc talk about on here, about being shoved out of fandom spaces? like imagine you’re an adult queer black guy and you keep hearing about this will wood person who makes really cool music so you go to give it a try and find a bunch of 14yos calling him white preteen transmasc music. super off putting. even as someone who actually does fall into a couple (not all) of the demographics they talk about i know i would absolutely not be a fan now if i’d discovered him later than i did. which makes me sad. anyway. sorry this is definitely getting very long and rambly so i’m sorry about that i just have a lot of opinions about this fanbase.

oh my god this put everything i missed into words THANK YOU 😭

I completely agree with everything you just said!!! Honestly the whole big point with my essay was to just say "hey guys, don't be weird about this, and be respectful because there is a real person behind the screen!"

everyone who goes too far with the "HES JUST A GUY" thing isn't helping. its like. yeah, hes just a guy, but that doesn't mean i cant have any sort of attachment to his music whatsoever??? some people's idea of treating people like real people is really just treating them worse than how they were being treated before 😭

The people who are policing the fandom too much aren't helping either, its getting really exhausting to keep seeing posts saying "oh he looks really good in this photo!" and seeing like 200 replies being like "STOP SEXUALIZING YOU CREEP!!!!" (although there are people who actually do sexualize him, (which is really gross and weird) but i digress,)

music based fandoms are usually very,,, eh.. but honestly most of the fandom isn't bad, its just the people who take things to the extremes (in both directions) who are kind of making it a bit more awkward.

i think the fandom, and his music as a whole shouldn't just be narrowed down to "gay neurodivergent weirdo music," but it should just be like. "music for cool people" or hell, just fuckin "music"

[sammyunhinged]

This fandom is so divided right now that it’s stressing me out.

Everyone is either pro- or anti-Tommy, pro- or anti-Bucktommy, or loves/hates Lou. It’s the only reason I was hoping bucktommy would break up in E10—I just didn’t want the shipping war to continue over hiatus. However, I’m a multishipper who enjoys bucktommy, especially all the amazing fan works people have been making, and has loved buddie for years. I would like for each side to take a moment to understand the other’s perspective. This is my likely futile attempt to get people to do so…

For the bucktommy shippers:

I need you to respect those who can’t forgive Tommy yet. Just because Hen and Chimney seem to have forgiven him, doesn’t mean that the marginalized communities that this character has been prejudiced against on screen need to forgive him too. He’s been misogynistic, racist, and homophobic (which yes likely stemmed from internalized homophobia but that doesn’t excuse his behavior).

I need you to realize that so far we’ve gotten nothing from canon except a couple kisses and few brief conversations. People are allowed to be upset with the writers for not giving us the potential this relationship has, or not be on board yet because canon hasn’t given them reason to, or simply just not love Tommy and therefore not love their relationship. Unlike Taylor who got lots of on screen development and backstory, Tommy hasn’t had that yet. It may take some time for people to get there, if they get there at all. It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to ship it.

I also need you to be aware that a huge portion of that shipping side of the fandom consistently hates on Buddie. Plus, a significant number of people have just started watching the show and jumped into S7 without context and so so many—honestly the loudest portion of the shippers—are fetishizing gay men and are clearly just here to watch two hot white men kiss on screen. It’s disturbing and understandably turns people off to the shippers and often the ship. Fetishization of queerness is something fandom in general has been dealing with for decades and just because it’s 2024 doesn’t mean it’s still not happening. Just because you haven’t seen it also doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Also I’m not saying it doesn’t exist on the buddie side of fandom—it absolutely does—it’s just very loud with the bucktommy shippers atm.

I need some of y’all to understand that the hate for Lou at the moment is also understandable. There are some fat-phobic, misogynistic, and racist things still posted on his Instagram from about a decade ago and while this was a decade ago and people can change and grow, the fact that they’re still up says things about a person. Until they are acknowledged, disliking him and not supporting him is completely valid. The exact same goes for Ryan Guzman, but that’s a whole other conversation.

Edit: as of June 3, Lou Ferringo Jr. has proven, through a reply to someone calling him out for a racist Instagram post, that he is still racist and ableist. He replied to the person on Twitter with an ableist joke and then deleted it when he got shit for it.

For the buddie shippers:

There needs to be more respect the art of Multishipping in general, especially by younger fans lately. It’s the heart of fandom. Just because you don’t get bucktommy doesn’t mean others can’t see the potential for this relationship to be interesting plot-wise and great for Buck personally. Someone enjoying a ship you hate doesn’t mean they’re a horrible person. Also so many people love both ships and truly just want the best for Buck. These are the people that are so happy for him and want this relationship to be happy and healthy and meaningful for Buck.

But I also need you to be sympathetic toward those who jumped onboard with bucktommy because they’ve been burned by queerbait too often to ship a non-canon, bait-y ship like Buddie. No matter how much you love the show and love Buddie, you have to admit there’s been relationship baiting between them. I shipped destiel and merthur and all those things too. I get it. I need others to respect that the peak of queerbaiting was a very difficult time for fandom. It’s left some people unable to get on board.

I also need y’all to stop speculating about Lou and Oliver’s personal relationship and whether or not Oliver hates Lou. It’s strange, parasocial, and speculating about people’s lives is never appropriate. At least don’t do it online and in public forums. Talk with your friends, dm people, do whatever you want in private, but in public, let’s just leave them be. They are actors with a job. Let them do that job in peace.

I’ll probably get some flack but I consider myself to very middle of the road about all of this, a space I often find myself in fandoms. Maybe because I’ve been here so long. I so often just want people to chill out. It’s fandom. It’s supposed to be fun. Have fun!!

[hum-tittle]

So, Rocky Horror Picture Show is one of my favorite movies. And I am currently obsessed with Mass Effect. This is what I think the Squadmates' opinions would be if Shepard put it on for everyone to watch it (many it would be their first time seeing it).

Ashley- She would say she doesn’t like it but it gives her an ✨awakening✨

Cortez- He appreciates it and likes it but isn’t a super fan. He did go to midnight showing, when he was younger.

Edi- She loves it. I think EDI would be a musical girly in general.

Garrus- He’s just kind of confused by it. He supports Shepard liking it but Hot Pootie gets stuck in his head all the time.

Grunt- He doesn’t get it but likes the vibes and violence. He would do the timewarp at parties with Shepard

Jack- She’s already seen it, she even thought about getting the Boss tattoo.

Jacob- He doesn’t really like it and is mildly concern that Shepard likes it

James- He’s an ally himbo so he loves RHPS. He’s trying to convince everyone to do a group costume next halloween, mostly because he wants an excuse to wear his gold shorts (that he already owns).

Javik- He is surprised how much he actually likes it.

Joker-He enjoys it but his favorite thing now it to put on Hot Pootie in the bridge anytime Garrus comes in to get the song stuck in his head, again.

Kaiden- He's similar to Cortez, he appreciates how RHPS helped the queer community 200 years ago but he's not a fan. He did go to the midnight showing once, in costume and learned to never again.

Kasumi- She loves a good time, and that's what RHPS is.

Legion- Understands why humans and other organics enjoy it but movies aren't super appealing to Geth.

Liara- She doesn’t get it and doesn’t like that she doesn’t get it. She ends up doing the research into the nuances of RHPS and the references. She then watches it again with her new understanding and becomes slightly obsessed with it.

Miranda- She likes it until she starts comparing the fact that she built Shepard and she becomes a bit uncomfortable.She becomes extremely uncomfortable when the others points out the similarities.

Mordin- He’s contacting his old Theater group to see if they can do a production of it.

Samara- She understands why others may like it, but it is not her cup of tea

Tali- She thinks it is fantastic! Touch-A-Touch-A-Touch-A-Touch Me is her favorite song

Thane- He loves that Shepard loves it.

Traynor- Surprisingly she's never seen it before. She really likes it and is debating buying a corset.

Wrex- He thinks it's funny. His favorite part is when they eat ✨️dinner✨️

Zaeed- He played Rocky at midnight showing one summer. It holds a special place in his heart.

[utilitycaster]

I agree what the cast says does not hold as much weight as what happens on stream. I think this is why I get frustrated by the 'Orym is to blame for Laudna killing Bor'dor' debates, using things Liam and/or Marisha have said on 4-sided dive that contradict the actual scene, where Marisha states Laudna barely notices Orym and Ashton, and *nothing* will stop her from doing what she wants to do. At worst, it's inaction. Have interviews and things like that always held so much weight in fandom?

I am absolutely the wrong person to ask here; I was not super in fandom when I was younger. I am going to, as I am wont to do, make some educated guesses but please take with a grain of salt.

I think there's a few things going on. A lot of people have told me that Glee was the first fandom they personally recall where it became about winning more than like, having fun and sharing ideas, and I wouldn't be surprised if that is at least an influence. (The idea that two ships that do not conflict and indeed have incompatible sexualities are in some kind of deathly serious competition is truly so baffling to me that I have to chalk up that particular bit of, if I may use a yiddishism here, mishegos, to Glee for sure.)

I also think that there was a time and there are shows where interviews did (or do) carry more weight, namely, those with executive meddling, or loss of creative control, or, notably, queer ships until quite recently. I have a lot of friends in the Star Trek fandom even though I'm not knowledgeable at all and from what I am given to understand, there's been a few ships squashed or delayed by executive whim or homophobia that the actors would pretty openly and consistently confirm at conventions. (The ones I know are Riker and Troi; and Garak and Bashir; but I have only hazy recollections of TNG and know NOTHING of DS9 so this is second-hand). I've talked about this before, but Word of God used to carry more weight for me when you simply couldn't have same gender romances on network TV or most mainstream film without risking your career. Now? You're a coward and a panderer.

Anyway I think with actual play specifically, which is improvised (ie, intent can shift dramatically and unexpectedly) and which has a lot of talkback shows and also a disproportionately huge amount of content people get in the habit of cherrypicking, and in extreme cases this turns into cherrypicking themselves straight out of the actual narrative and into microexpressions and OOC interviews and side conversations from three years ago.

I also, and I am too tired and too many drinks in (two drinks in, to be clear) to articulate this tonight, find that actual play in particular has amassed a certain fandom that I think was attracted to things I like and support (queer characters, women/queer people/POC creating and driving their own characters, independent creator-owned productions, improvised and therefore at times really unique stories, not needing to have streaming services in some cases) but also doesn't actually like Actual Play as a medium (see: every single D20 fandom meltdown low-key boils down to "I have zero genre awareness of both whatever is going on narratively and also I high-key loathe D&D as a means of storytelling and particularly the existence of violence in narrative, yet I am watching the Violent Narrative D&D show, so dance or me, my puppets, wait why aren't you dancing.") So I think you get a lot of people who are just making dumb fucking arguments because they decide what they believe and then poorly reverse engineer the support instead of doing things in the proper order and I think the people claiming Orym is responsible for Bor'Dor's death are in that category and we should stop treating them as people who are adding anything of worth to the conversation.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to move back in with my family?

The lead up to this is a bit long, but I feel like the context is necessary. After my first year of college, my (then20, FTM) father (40s, M) was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and could not work anymore. He also could not be left to his own devices, so I had to take time off school and come home to watch him and my younger sibling (then 11NB) while my mother (40s F) would work. That sucked for multiple reasons, including being responsible for all the asshole bullshit he’s pulled (when I say asshole, I mean it. He used to fake - by his own admission - epileptic seizures to get out of doing the most minor chores or exercises recommended by his doctors), my mothers violent transphobia (to the point of driving me to a mental breakdown when I asked about starting HRT) and emotional abuse towards myself and my sib. She never believed my complaints about my father and was convinced I was being lazy and irresponsible with his care. In addition to that, they moved to this area after I started college, so I was in a completely unfamiliar (and not particularly queer friendly) place, socially isolated, and so on and so forth. This shit sucked. I was promised I’d be able to go back after one semester, but after a few months it has been made painfully clear to me that this is not an option. Then COVID happened, and next year my college was fully remote. This way I was able to complete my sophomore year online. I was finally released for junior year and have not come back home since with the exception of one short-term visit, when my mother went abroad to visit our extended family. (We’re immigrants.)

I graduated this year. When I started my job search, I was planning to stay in the area and applied to jobs accordingly, with the exception of one position advertised by my college. This one would be in a major city very close to my family, so I’d be able to live with them. I was idiot enough to mention that to my mother. The gig didn’t pan out, so I settled on staying where I am and continued to search for a job, a place to live, and so on. I secured a place to live recently and was again dumb enough to share that with my mother. (Yes, I have a pattern. I’m working on it. ) The next day, my sib contacts me and asks if I could come live with them. Sib got into a really good high school with a focus on a field of study they want to go into for a career and have a real knack for. It’s kinda far from where they live right now, but they found an apartment much closer to it. Rent is a lot higher than they can afford, though. My mother lost her job when she refused to get vaccinated nearly a year ago (she used to work in healthcare), and since then she hasn’t been officially employed. She’s been getting by with instacart and my father’s disability payments.

If I lived with them and found a job there, they’d definitely be able to afford rent. Moving there, while undesirable, is not out of the realm of possibility, and my mother has been a lot better about treating me like a person and not being transphobic. Not perfect, but better. They also would not be living with dad because mom is at the end of her rope with him and is looking into a nursing home his insurance would cover. I would also be saving up money by living with them, I’d definitely have reliable health insurance, a roof over my head and so on and so forth. My personal autonomy, personal space, and most likely mental health would be absolutely out the window. I’m still traumatized by these 2 years I spent with them. Not to mention nearly complete social isolation. I wouldn’t even be able to see my boyfriend properly, there would be about 8 hrs’ worth of a drive between us.

So. Will I be the asshole if I leave my family to struggle on their own? I already sacrificed a lot for their sake. I don’t know that I can keep doing that to myself.

What are these acronyms?

[the-fujoshi-thesis]

I've been rediscovering BL and yaoi recently as someone who is 35 and who read their first yaoi (Gravitation) in high school almost 20 yrs ago. And I really appreciate your knowledge, research, and analysis of the genre and Fandom. I feel some times the younger fans have a hard time letting themselves enjoy the inate fantasy of it vs. Having to flagellate themselves and others for it existing. It reminds me of an article (which I need to find) about how under capitalism in the west, we only feel empowered to control what we consume, so we assign some moral value to what media we consume or not consume. It's sad because some folks are ok with NSFW bans that will target queer folks and sex workers. They are okay with bans if it means that the things they consider indecent or problematic are gone but conservative and right wing parties think the existence of queer is indecent. I fear they'd ban themselves in the public sphere because of this mindset.

Ha! Gravitation was also the first BL anime I watched and read!

And yes to the younger fans but I think there are many, many things that fall into each other to create the current fandom climate in addition to what you said about capitalism and assigning moral values to your consumption.

Things aren't as separate as they used to be, now everything falls into a big fandom hub and fans of different things with different boundaries and preferences have to see each other constantly. 15+ years ago everything was more sequestered and you had the easy option of noping out of places without having the feeling of falling out of fandom. Not to forget that having different accounts was also more widespread, sth that people forgot for a while and tried to put everything under their one and sometimes real name account.

The US, the main driver of anglosphere fandom spaces and unfortunately main influencer of other language spaces, straight up without a doubt had a huge right-wing shift in many, many aspects of its society including their culture. Some time ago you could be reasonably sure that an online queer person would be pretty leftist in many things they said and did. Now you have gays, lesbians, bisexuals and more just parroting Christian conservatism with their entire chest and that's reflected in fandom as well.

Again the US but this time their failing school system also in the last 20 years. You have one, one and a half generations of American children, teenagers and young adults who have trouble reading and understanding a text. And as sad and devastating that is for them they make it everyone else's problem and that constantly.

There is so much that goes on here and I as a non-American, non-Christian fan feel like the American cultural Christians and their teenagers are suffocating queer fandom even if they're queer themselves but it's not like we're forced to engage with them when we don't want to (most of the time)

But in my personal experience that fandom climate is on the down actually, like a pendulum that swings back and forth after reaching its high point. Unfortunately, American society itself, with its crumbling status as an Empire, is not doing well or in the path of recovery.

[twopoppies]

Gina, have you seen Fellow Travelers? I got ill 2 weeks ago and so I used my quarantine time from my bf to watch it and I immediatelly fell in love with Jonathan Bailey. And honestly becoming his fan is such a pure relief because he’s out gay and so no matter how much women drool over him and he can be tactile with women all he wants because he’s out and proud he’s not connected to any woman/doesn’t need to stunt. And that’s why it is a relief for me because there’s no way H (and Louis) will come out any time sooner or later (in like 20 years maybe when everyone will move on to someone younger or just H won’t be attractive anymore for most of his harries’ fandom). I know it probably won’t be fair to write this because closeted queers are also still queers but somehow no matter if H is officially single or he’s stunting, his connection to xyz women is just tiring even if he has to do it/can’t do anything about it (= fans rumours about him hooking up with 10 women per week) and so it’s refreshing for me to follow someone who’s not hiding and he’s damn charismatic and sexy.

Oh, I love Jonathan Bailey. He’s in Bridgerton, too. And he’s playing Fiyero in Wicked once it’s released. He’s crazy talented and so sexy. Go message to @apparentlybychance. She’ll talk your ear off about him. 😆😆😆

But I know what you mean. It’s hard being a fan of closeted people. I’ve found that the less I care about Harry’s private life, the easier it is to enjoy him. He’s navigating his specific closet and his particular career in the best way he can. I hope he’s okay and I hope it’s not severely affecting his mental health.

[olderthannetfic]

https://newrepublic.com/article/120689/babdook-what-it-says-about-you-if-you-enjoy-horror-movies

This is from years ago but I had to go dig it up for the "cozy horror" conversation.

The article claims that horror fans are more likely to lack empathy. But the study they mention didn't survey horror fans, it surveyed people who watch horror movies on dates. Maybe choosing a movie for a date without regard to your partner's tastes demonstrates a lack of empathy, and the genre or content of the movie itself doesn't have much to do with it?

It claims that horror fans are more like to "be aggressive and thrill-seeking". That one I'll give a pass. Horror movies themselves are a specific kind of thrill. Anecdotally I wouldn't say that I or any other horror fan is more aggressive than the general population, but if a study lumped aggression and thrills together as one metric it'd be impossible to sort out (horror authors and other creatives, in my experience, tend to be fluffy bundles of joy IRL. Jungi Ito is Tumblr's favourite example)

And horror fans are more likely to be men. The article straight up admits that its data there is outdated. Moving on.

And lastly, the one that ticked me off so much that I remembered this article for ten years. People who watch horror movies are more like to "be a man accompanied by a frightened woman". This one is based on a study from the 1980s (so outdated even ten years ago) and looked specifically at college kids watching horror movies in m/f pairs. This tells us absolutely nothing about people who enjoy horror, and a lot about college boys in the 1980s. I like to think that college boys in the 2010s and 2020s are a little different, since gendered expectations have shifted a little over the last 30-40 years. But even without that, I cannot stress hard enough that this study did not look at people who like horror movies, not to mention that adults of all genders are usually more mature than college kids in their interactions with fiction and with their movie-going partners.

And also, since this is Tumblr specifically and fandom in general, we have to mention that when gender comes up, the article is talking exclusively about studies that did not account for queerness.

If we want to talk about horror movies in a fannish context, we have to understand that a large portion of the audience will be queer in some way or another. It's simply not fair to say "college boys like it when their girlfriends are scared of horror movies, therefore horror fans are doing some sort of macho endurance posturing" when you've got an audience full 35 year old pensexuals without genders going "actually, I just think it's neat when monsters eat people".

--

When I was younger, I thought I didn't like horror...

And this was because I grew up in an era of particularly boring-to-me slasher movies that were usually also pretty misogynist.

Turns out I like gialli fine. It's just 1980s US horror of the most mainstream type that I hate.

I am singularly unsurprised that women on dates in the 1980s were unimpressed with this choice of movie.

I'll take articles about horror seriously only if they start by going to one of those Lovecraft conventions or something and actually dealing with the Horror Fandom as it exists today.

[tombstuck-writes]

Knucklehead: Part 1, Chapter 1

Genre: Midwest Contemporary Young Adult Romance.

Word count: 27,615. Chapter 1/27.

Summary: “There was only one queer kid in town. That’s what he thought anyway, because it was him. If only his online almost-boyfriend lived nearby, things might be a little more tolerable.”

Content warnings: Graphic child abuse (it's not until part 2, and part 1 can be read stand-alone.)

Author's note:

This story is my baby! I've been writing it for almost 6 years, and it's finally seeing the light of day! A big thank you to anyone who reads it. I'll be posting one chapter every Saturday until it's done. Chapters will be under the #tombstuck-knucklehead tag, and I will also link them on the "Read Knucklehead" page on the header of my tumblr site.

Brandon Campbell got out of his car to start another shift at the grocery store. Brandon lived in Cohocton, Missouri, but the grocery store he worked at wasn’t in Cohocton, because nothing was in Cohocton. Nothing except homophobes and Baptist churches. 

And a high school. The very one that Brandon had graduated from earlier that month. He had done nothing since then except do his part-time job at the grocery store.

He went to clock in and saw a familiar face.

“Rodney, hey,” he said, a few different emotions running through his head. Rodney had been his best friend while he was still in school, and they were even on the basketball team together. But he was a year younger than Brandon.

Rodney looked up at him, nodding in greeting. “What’s up, Bran?”

“Oh, not much. Just making some money. You work here now?” He asked.

“Yeah, I just wanted to make some extra money. I’m saving to move out.” Rodney hesitated. “Um, you been pretty absent since you graduated. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, man. Sorry about that. I’ve just been hanging with Nat and she can get kinda…” He trailed off. In reality, he had been doing absolutely nothing except working and isolating himself.

“Yeah, I get it. Hey, at least you’re starting college in August, right?”

“Uhhhh, no.”

“Oh,” Rodney answered. “My bad, I assumed. Sorry.” 

“No worries, man. Anyway, we better clock in.”

He bought Rodney a coke on their lunch break to try to make up for not hanging out that month. He also received a text, from someone he wasn’t expecting.

Hey. Wanna hang out? It was from Norm, another one of Brandon’s friends from school. He had graduated at the same time as Brandon.

I’m at work. Later tonite? Brandon answered.

Hell yeah.

It was strange that Norm had texted him. Hearing from two of his old basketball friends on the same day a month after graduation was a big coincidence. He hadn’t been that close with Norm when they were in school, either. Well, close enough to have exchanged phone numbers, but still.

Norm texted Brandon his address, and after work, he headed over to Norm’s house.

He lived in Green Meadows, which was a small trailer park in Cohocton. He parked in front of Norm’s house after checking the number, then got out. A dog barked at him. He knocked on the door.

“Bran!” Norm yelled after answering the door, smiling. He looked about the same as he had a month ago. He was wearing an old Zelda t-shirt with a million holes in it, and sporting his same old mullet and septum ring. Brandon had kind of forgotten that he was attracted to Norm, but the feeling came back as he smiled at the greeting, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“Hey, man. What’s up?” he said.

“Dude, I watched this movie. Come in, come in— I watched this movie where these people went on a picnic,” He walked into the house, and saw who he assumed was Norm’s mom asleep on the couch. Norm was slurring his words a bit and his gait was uneven. “And I just had this real bad hankering to just like, eat a sandwich on a blanket outside.”

“Oh, wow,” Brandon said. He didn’t really know what else to say. He remembered Norm always getting drunk after basketball games, whether they would win or not. It seemed it had become a habit now.

“Bran, you gotta have a picnic with me,” Norm insisted. 

Brandon laughed. “A picnic? I guess so. That’s so random.”

Norm was running around his kitchen gathering items to make sandwiches. “No, it’ll be amazing, seriously.”

He made two bologna sandwiches and put them in sandwich bags. He dashed messily into the living room, and grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch where his mom still slept. “Come on!”

Brandon drove them and their picnic supplies to the nearest park. The day was extremely nice, with a light breeze blowing and the sun shining, and big puffy clouds floating through the sky. Brandon guessed he was happier to be here with Norm outside on a nice day than cramped up in his room at home.

Norm seemed to deliberate on the best spot for their picnic, before finally laying the blanket out on a nice patch of grass. He plopped unceremoniously down onto the blanket and Brandon sat next to him. The blanket wasn’t very big, so they were sitting pretty close.

Brandon ate his sandwich pretty quickly because he was hungry from work, but Norm didn’t seem too interested in his. He would take a little nibble now and then but mostly he was looking at the sky. 

“Not hungry?” Brandon asked.

“Oh, nah, not really. I just had to bring it to really evoke the feeling of a picnic.” He answered. “When I drink I don’t really get that hungry. I drink too much these days. That’s why I’m getting so skinny.” He felt at his ribs, no doubt feeling the bones underneath his skin.

“Have you ever thought about quitting?” Brandon asked.

“Oh, nah. I don’t really have any other way to cope with stuff, you know?” Norm answered, looking over at Brandon and shrugging.

Norm put his sandwich back in its baggie and laid down with his head on the blanket and his legs in the grass.

“Dude, you gotta see this!” Norm said and pulled Brandon down on the ground with him. He laughed and landed next to Norm with their heads together. Norm pointed upwards. “It’s a mermaid!”

Cloud gazing, Brandon thought with a rush. I’m cloud gazing with Norm while we’re on a picnic. What has my life become?

“I see a dog, I think,” Brandon said.

“What? No that’s definitely a mermaid. And look over there! It’s a little guy running,” Norm exclaimed.

Brandon was enjoying himself, for once lately. He didn’t want their picnic to end, but eventually they mutually decided to get up and pack up the picnic blanket and Norm’s uneaten sandwich and head back to Norm’s house. 

Norm was headed up the front steps of his house, but hesitated at the door and turned around. “I had a lot of fun today, Bran. Thanks for taking me.”

That’s similar to what Natalie said to me after our first date, Brandon thought, but didn’t say. 

“Yeah, man. Me too. No sweat. We should hang out again soon.” Brandon said, smiling. Norm waved cutely and smiled brightly. Brandon waved back.

Driving home, Brandon felt at once excited and uncomfortable about the time he had just spent with Norm. On the one hand, it was his first human contact besides his parents and coworkers for 2 weeks. On the other hand, he did have a beautiful girlfriend — Natalie— and spending time with someone else he found attractive felt a bit wrong.

He wondered, though. Is Norm still thinking about me too?

_____________________________________________________

Author's Note: Thank you so much if you read this far! I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Please consider following the #tombstuck-knucklehead tag if you want to read next week's installment, and follow my blog for various writing-related reblogs, as well as behind the scenes stuff about my stories.

[dnpbeats]

Just going a little more into the whole thing about understanding young dnp differently now that we have the whole story, something else I have been thinking about so much is queer rights movements and legislation in the uk. Im a good decade younger than them, when gay marriage was legalised I was 12. I was old enough to understand what it was, but i didnt really have any sort of understanding of how it affected me bc i hadnt even started to figure out who i was yet. To me it feels like so long ago, i feel like ive always had it, which is an immense privelage. But dan and phil were not only already in their mid twenties and in a 5 year strong relationship, they already had an active career on youtube. Watching ditl in london, that was the year gay marriage was legalised in the uk. That was who they already were as people and as creators. I cant imagine what it would have been like when the bill passed. They were still so closeted, but that was also such a big win for them and the whole community. I wonder if at the time it still seemed like such a far fetched thing anyway, bc i cant imagine they were even close to wanting to come out yet. Idk if they thought at that point they ever would. And then i think about the fact that they had been in a committed relationship for 5 years at that point. I cant imagine what it would be like to be with my self-proclaimed 'soulmate' and know that you can not legally recognize your relationship. To not know if you ever would. Which then makes sense as to why its not necessarily a priority for them now. Idk, its like you said. Its strange and a little sad to know now who they were then, but in the end it all worked out. They made it to the other side and i could not be happier for them.

oh wow yeah!! im about the same age as you I think, and yes it was much the same for me in the sense that I was aware of same-sex marriage legislation being passed but I had no real grasp on like, what that actually meant for people lol. this got me curious so I went back and tried to see if they ever even talked about same-sex marriage being legalized in the UK. from what I can see they didn't tweet about it at all, and im assuming they didn't make any other statements about it? then in 2015 when it was legalized in the US, they did both tweet, but quite impersonally (I mean I get why im not saying they should've been making grand statements or anything like that). like even setting their relationship aside for a moment, I can imagine it was incredibly difficult for them as two closeted gay men to navigate how to address things like this publicly—obviously when it came to the UK they didn't even address it at all. but im sure it was a huge deal for them to see it legalized just in the sense of what it represents. but even with this landmark that represented lgbtq+ ppl being more generally accepted, they were still closeted, so there was only so much they could say. like I would love to know their thoughts that they couldnt express in 2013/2014/2015 on what it meant to them! but also how it affected them that they couldnt share their thoughts

but then yeah I do wonder how it was for them in the context of their relationship. bc like before it wasn't even a possibility that they could get married. and then they did have the option, but actually not really because they were still closeted, so even if they wanted to they still technically couldnt without outing themselves. but obviously just knowing you now have the option when you couldnt before meant a lot to them im sure

[crownspeaksblog]

I think Coffee Prince is THE first queer story I've ever watched! I watched in my early teens and back then, i loved it so much, because it was a love story, where a man falls in love with a woman, not knowing that she's a woman and my younger self was mostly like "oh my god it's true love!! He fell in love with her not knowing she's a woman!!" But i loved it so much more when i rewatched it, in my late teens because at that point, i was mostly aware of the queerness of it all and now I'm fully aware of it, like that was a story about a "straight" man falling, hard, for this young man he just met! He was suffering and in denial, that man was crying over the thought of being gay and then... he just fully accepted it and was more than willing and happy to run away together!!! He is a queer icon!!

This is probably one of the best ways to present a queer story because, one, it can slip right through censorship laws, i watched it, 10 years ago, on tv, in the fucking middle-east, dubbed in Arabic!! (i haven't seen the original version but I'm willing to bet some stuff was cut in the version i watched). Two, it kinda will confuse homophobic/ignorant people on what to feel, because the audience knows she's a woman throughout the entirety of the show, so people will interpret it as "he fell in love with her, not knowing she's a woman" NOT as, "he fell in love with a man, who turned out to be a woman"

Here's the thing, without internet and tv, most people are completely unaware of the outside world, not just their country, but the outside of their everyday life and when i watched that show as a kid, i didn't see the queerness of it (i had no idea what the word or the concept of gay is) and now i can easily recognize how that story is one of the biggest reasons to make me, a young middle-easterns teenager who's raised religious (kinda..) understand and accept queerness so relatively easily!

So yes, more stories like this, they are groundbreaking!!

[acrossthewavesoftime]

Top 5 Graveses!

My Deer Friend, that is a fun ask!

Samuel "Sam" Graves (1713-1787). Tough on the outside, very soft on the inside, his personality has captured my research interest. Often portrayed as a nepotistic old choleric (which to some degree he was) in especially older literature on the American Revolutionary War, the man below the public persona of the admiral was the exact opposite. A caring man who appears to have been well liked by his sailors and the local people near his home, he was surprisingly open-minded when it came to what we might call women's rights, the importance of giving your children an education (something he openly chastised his brother about in letters, finding his nephews had not received enough schooling), and by all I was able to learn about the family, very good with young people. His personal tragedy was that he was childless due to a medical complication he was aware of, but he filled this void with his brother John's children and his second wife Margaret's orphaned niece, Elizabeth, who would take very much after Samuel, developing an interest in technology and ships. What never fails to strike me is how he helped protect Elizabeth's best friend Mary Anne, who may fall under the term queer, given she stated during her lifetime that she had no interest in men, from a forced marriage.

Margaret Graves (1728-1808). "Mrs Admiral", feared by many, loved ardently by her husband. So much so that rumour had it that it was she who wore the trousers in their relationship. A tough lady who was independently wealthy and had never planned on marrying at all to remain in control of her fortune, it took her all of ca. 6 months to decide that she wanted Samuel by her side permanently. She was by all accounts difficult, outspoken to the point of often deliberate rudeness, and one of the first bluestockings, being a frequent visitor to Elizabeth Montagu's London salon. In her sixties, she caused a stir in Bath for dancing at balls, which was frowned upon due to her age. She did not care.

John Graves Simcoe (1752-1806). Is it cheating? I don't think so. But he was named for Samuel Graves, and called "Infant Graves" by the same in a letter written to young Simcoe's father around the time of John Graves' christening. I found the Graves' through Simcoe, when many years ago I watched Turn: Washington's Spies and mostly remained watching on account of the delightfully evil ginger menace, John Graves Simcoe. The question "he can't have been that bad, can he?" (spoiler: he was absolutely not, rater the opposite, really) led to a research rabbit hole that ended with me finding out about Simcoe's supportive quasi-family which he found in his godfather Samuel, who helped raise him from the time he lost his father at age seven on, and supported his godson well into his thirties. Samuel viewed him as part of the family, and therefore, he can make this list!

Jane Graves (1666-1767). The mother of Samuel and his siblings, her own life appears to have been quite interesting from what little information we have. She seems to have married comparatively late, and to a significantly younger man at that; she was 46 or 47 when Samuel, her youngest, was born. When her husband died, she must have cared for Samuel's inheritance, and raised her son by herself. Looking at her life span alone, she must have been a very interesting person to talk to, given she lived to 100 or 101, a period spanning from the year of the Great Fire of London to the year the Townshend Acts were passed and Joachim Murat was born.

Richard "Dick" Graves (1757-1836). The enfant terrible of the family, living largely off his uncle's benevolence and will to promote him in the Navy. Badly educated, bad with money and so spectacularly bad with women that Elizabeth, his uncle's niece by his wife, loathed to even be in the same room as him (which ended Samuel's hope of getting the two involved with each other). "Dick" as the family called him with very likely the same undertone as in the famous Jane Austen quote on the late naval officer Dick Musgrove in Persuasion, had so little going for himself that the family sincerely hoped he would marry a rich woman, as that was his only chance of finding a settled life. He was, as they called it "shown" around at social events for that purpose. He did manage to bag an heiress, but their life together was unhappy, full of finanical struggles as both spent more money than they had, and assorted fights with Aunt Mrs Admiral, the Simcoes, the Admiralty and other assorted people. He even agreed to be the second in a duel once, while also being a Justice of the Peace. He must have been a troublesome man, but somehow strikes me as a little interesting for that matter.