#i dont even have it yet but I'm already thinking of other tattoo ideas and the different placements I want

[bearsbeetsbeskar]

someone take this tattoo filter away from me pls cause I am actually so down bad for a neck tattoo

[nightingale-prompts]

Deathday Party

Part of this post series > link

Tim had no idea he was being courted by Danny and was making his way to an official engagement at this rate. What he did know was that Danny had invited him to an important party at the mansion of none other then Vlad Masters.

Danny had mentioned that his family and Masters had a rocky past but it had gotten better before he left for university. Tim wasn't convinced due to the stories Danny had offhandly mentioned. The guy had tried to out Danny to his parents and rallied the town against him. So excuse Tim for not wanting Danny to go back to a homophobic town like that and a bastard who did something so petty just because a kid's mom wouldn't sleep with you.

But Danny was his friend. The only normal friend he had who treated him like this. Sure he really likes giving gifts and has a fascination for flowers but that's all the more reason to look after him. It was pure luck that Tim befriended him before a cult did.

Tim was still going to supportive and still needed to make it up to Danny for not visiting Amity Park last time. So he packed and boarded the plane a few days before the party.

Danny began introducing Tim to everyone in his family. For the most part, it was a warm welcome. Danny's dad told him that they would have to sleep in separate rooms because "He knows how boys could be and there will be no funny business."

Tim was indignant but reminded himself to be polite. Danny's dad may not be the most accepting of LGBT people but this was his home.

Danny only blushed and brushed his dad off, after all, he and Tim hadn't even kissed yet.

Danny's friends were cool though. Sam was definitely the source of Danny's gothic tendencies. She and Danny discussed herbs, crystals, and graveyards together while Tim got to know Tucker.

The next day they went to the Masters' estate and Tim met Danny's other family. Dani or Elle was Danny's little sister or cousin or something. It was confusing but she immediately took a liking to Tim.

"Ooo, he's cute~ You dont mind sharing right Danny?" She teased linking arms with Tim.

"Knock it off Elle. He's too old for you anyway and if Vlad heard you he'd set Tim on fire." Danny admonished her pulling her off by the hoodie.

Tim didn't catch that Danny was being completely serious about the fire part.

Vlad Masters would be out of the house until the party that night but the mansion was being set up for the event. Apparently, the "Deathday" party was a bigger deal than Tim thought. The guest list was a mile long.

From what Tim gathered a death day was a celebration of life after a near-death experience. Like if someone flatlined during surgery and are brought back. Its actually a pretty smart way to deal with trauma by making the event a reason to celebrate.

Tim had heard from Danny of the day he was electrocuted and that it changed his life. He definitely had the scar to prove it. Danny had gotten a UV tattoo over it or something because it glowed faintly at night. It was pretty cool.

That evening Tim was handed his costume for the event. The party had a royal theme, something that didn't seem like Danny's idea. Still, Danny's silver and ivy green dublette looked...pretty good. Tim dressed in a similar red and gold suit.

"You look good." Danny pulled out an ornate emerald cravat pin and pinned it to Tim label.

"You too," Tim said without thinking but Danny smiled before going back to putting the finishing touches on their outfits.

It was...intimate to say the least as Danny pulled back Tim's hair. He fastened their capes and a (fake) dagger to his belt.

Danny put put on a subtle layer of makeup. Darkening his eyes, cheeks, and lips. It gave him a pale and deathly appearance.

"I have to look my best. I don't want anyone to think I'm just using you as arm candy." Danny laughed.

"That implies that you are using me as that already." Tim jested but stopped when Danny pointed to the makeup trey. "You're joking."

"Im not. It's an important event and this isn't Gotham. There are alot of people i want you to meet. Just play along." Danny begged.

Tim agreed letting Danny put on a bit of black and red makeup.

"Aww, Tim. You look absolutely ghastly. Your funeral ready." Danny gushed as he turned to grab the last things they needed. Two circlets with stars emblems embedded in them.

Tim laughed internally. Danny was always to positive Tim forgot just how goth he was. Tim knew he shouldn't be surpised.

Tim and Danny walked to the mansion's ballroom which was full of guests dressed similarly to them. The room glowed eerily under green-flamed torches. Very gothic. On second thought this suited Danny.

A staff member er...servant announced their arrival.

"His Highness the High Prince of the realm of infinite space and his guest."

None other than Vlad Masters approached. He had thrown this party for his godson and wanted everything perfect. He eyed Tim critically before speaking to Danny.

"Daniel I heard about your...friend from Elle. Its that what he is?" Masters studied.

"He's my-"

"Boyfriend! I'm his boyfriend." Tim interrupted. He was not going to let this homophonic piece of shit undermine Danny's sexuality again and try to embarrass him. Especially on such an I'm day. " Tim Drake, son of Bruce Wayne and head of Wayne Industries. I've heard a LOT about you Mr.Masters."

After a moment Vlad nodded and smiled.

"You've chosen well. He's quite the catch my boy. Happy Death Day." Vlad patted Danny on the back before going to mingle with Danny's parents who where tearing up the cheese platter.

Danny blinked owlishly at Tim. Tim had never used that word yet, Danny thought they were not at that stage yet.

"Sorry Danny, i got caught up." Tim sighed.

"You know he's going to tell everyone right?" Danny laughed "I hope you're ready."

Danny dragged Tim to meet his ghost friends for the rest of the evening between dancing and eating.

Tim had fun meeting Danny's fellow goth friends who complimented him a lot. They were definitely strange but they really loved Danny. The whole party was like a Renaissance festival meets one of those novels that Jason loved. Actually, Jason would be so jealous of him right now. Tim made sure to take pictures. Some of them came out fuzzy but it was enough to make Jason mad.

[2braincellslz]

Male reader gives Eddie a tattoo on his V-line

Permanent.

Ship: Eddie munson x male!reader

Desc: Eddie calls (y/n) in to their room. Eddie asks (y/n) to give him a tattoo. The rest is history.

Notes: it's short and shitty. I'm sorry. I was just trying to get a request out.

"Baaaabe" eddie called from his room.

(Y/n) was already sprawled out over the couch, lazily shoving handfuls of popcorn in to his mouth as he rewatched Halloween for the... hundredth time.

"Whaaaat?" (Y/n) called back, shoving more popcorn in to his mouth. The taste of cold popcorn was staring to get old.

"Wash your hands and come here!"

(Y/n) rolled his eyes. He placed the bowl on the coffee table before making his way to the sink, cleaning off the cheese powder. "What are you getting at, Munson?"

But there was no response.

(Y/n) groaned loudly as he dumped the leftover popcorn in the that trash, presenting his displeasure from being taken away from his movie without a valid reason yet he still made his way to the bedroom.

Eddie had a little container of black void resting on his bedside table. Eddie himself was stilling on the bed with a needle in his hand, the tip of the needle was sainted black.

Eddie looked up from what he was doing, or trying to do, and gave (y/n) a silly little grin. "Care to help me?" He asked, extending the needle out to his boyfriend.

"You want me to give you a tattoo?" Eddie's plants had already been unzipped, a few dots scattered around Eddie v-line. "Is this even safe?" (Y/n) stepped closer, taking the pin.

"No, not really." (Y/n) couldn't help but roll his eyes, letting out another groan.

"You made me miss Halloween for this." (Y/n) kneeled infront of Eddie. This wasn't his first time dealing with Eddie just getting a tattoo out of nowhere but it was the first time that he had ever been asked to give Eddie or anyone a tattoo.

"Halloween? Oh, the horror. Not like you have seen it three thousand times."

"What do you want me to do, Eddie? Tell me now or I'm picking."

Eddie let out a long hum, rubbing his chin like he was thinking. "I dont know, you pick."

(Y/n) couldn't help but let a smile creep on to his face as different ideas popped into his head, some worse then others. "Nothing bad!" Eddie snapped, immediately regretting letting his boyfriend pick.

"Aw, what?" (Y/n) giggled, deciding on a safe idea. "Your no fun."

(Y/n) started on the tattoo, a bit shaky at first but after a while he got the hang of it. Eddie huffed, hissing at the pain. He grabbed on to (y/n)s shoulder.

"This seems a bit... odd." (Y/n) looked up at eddie.

"Oh shut up." Eddie hissed, nails digging in to (y/n)s shoulder.

(Y/n) continued to work, ignoring the digging pain. He was Lazar focused as he worked. Honestly, It would have been better is Eddie had just taken him to a tattoo parlor but he enjoyed being close to his boyfriend. Being able to do something for him.

"This is going to be shit..." (y/n) mumbled, mostly too himself, as he worked.

"I can get it fixed at a parlor later." Eddie hummed. His voice was strained slightly. For someone who has a collection of tattoos, the man has a low pain tolerance but his skin could also be sensitive from the demobats.

About a hour passed and (y/n) was almost done. It wasnt a big piece but doing anything with one needle was a feat in itself.

"Annnd.... done!" (Y/n) took a paper towel he had gotten half way through and whipped off a bit of the excess ink.

(Y/n) stepped back, looking over his work. Eddie looked down. His face suddenly lit up as he looked over the piece.

It was simple, you could only do so much with a single needle. But it has meaning. It was a 20 sided die with a nat 20 facing out.

"Its perfect!" Eddie cheered, even if the line work was a bit shakey.

"Well, I wouldn't say perfect." (Y/n) chuckled. Eddie pulled (Y/n) in to a tight hug, being careful of the raw skin.

"Dont get it infected." (Y/n) patted Eddie's shoulder, stepping back to look over his art one more time.

[mintmoth]

OKAY I'm gonna do a big ask response here! There's a few I didn't grab which are mostly just people saying sweet things- to which honestly I can't thank you all enough 😭 it's so wild to me to see people enjoying my art so much

I'm gonna keep most of the replies under the cut since it's gonna get a bit long but I wanted to touch on this one real quick-

Absolutely anyone is free to use my art as an icon wherever! Just be sure to have something crediting somewhere and yeah absolutely go for it!

OH ALSO my submissions don't work on mobile for some reason? The formatting messes up I guess, but check out this awesome coloring!! I love how the layers of shading look 😭

LMAO okay so I've seen a good handful of older/mafia au designs for Floyd and Jade and a lot of them have either both of them with double sleeves or Floyd with sleeves and Jade with a back piece- though I've also seen somewhere both of them having one sleeve on the opposite side

Right now I'm just messing around so I don't have any official tattoo designs for either of them, but I do know I want Floyd with at LEAST the double sleeves, and Jade with some pieces he keeps hidden by mostly wearing business attire lmao

XBSISNK THANK YOU 😭😭 honestly drawing hair is one of my absolutley FAVORITE things to draw lmao, most of my ocs have long hair I just can't help it honestly

YES ABSOLUTLEY probably not too often but I could definitely see Azul going to bed and waking up to a very full bed lmao. Funnier yet because I think all three of them are the type to cling in their sleep when they have someone else beside them. They're just weird sea creatures used to small comfy spaces

I actually haven't thought about this! Honestly I think that would be really cool! Or even if he found that he had a specific shade range of color blindness as a human- though I could see Jade and Floyd taking advantage of that by doing something like giving him the wrong color shirt to wear that day or something lmao

Though you also reminded me! Eels also have terrible eyesight! So I've seen people both having the headcanon that the twins wear contacts, and also the headcanon that Azul needs glasses now because he did a deal to give part of his vision to both of them

Honestly it's really cool to think about! I don't know which headcanons here I like the most, but I love seeing them

Okay honestly I absolutley have to draw this because I LOVE this idea and part of why I'm answering this is to mentally catalogue that I need to draw this lmao

I also love this idea! Like at lunch, after classes before they go to work at the lounge, and after the lounge closes up for the night it just becomes the twins' gossip hour lmao

Because yeah they do spend a lot of time together, but they're still apart a lot, and there's no way they're not telling each other about all the nonsense they're getting up to once they meet back up

DBSISNSK DONT CRY LMAO I got a handful of questions about Niles I want to try to touch on here

Absolutley he wouldn't mind helping anyone set up games on their computer lmao, especially if it's a hard to get visual novel that he's a fan of because he's the type to want everyone to play and love the games he loves

He's definitely dropped hundreds of hours into "creature crossing" with one of those islands with tons of customization and cute shit, and his "island creatures" are mostly cats with a couple dogs and the pegasus LMAO

Also while he's not directly inspired by any specific character, since he's in Ignihyde he does have a little Greek mythos theming and has some inspiration from Eros, which is also why he's very "love" themed/romantic

OH MAN I'm actually not 100% sure which moray I think the twins would be, I'd have to look more into them specifically

But I did want to mention that my idiot self is tempted to make Yet Another Oc (though I probably won't post this one since I feel very oc heavy already) that's also a moray- but specifically a snowflake just because wow I want to make a design around the coloration they have 😭

ALSO!!! Regarding Eel Anon!

I wasn't able to screenshot everything you sent but it was absolutley fun hearing about the dorm idea you have!! I love hearing about new dorm concepts and I've seen a couple nightmare before christmas dorms so it's neat to see the different ideas people have! Also no way do Eri and Rika sound like knock offs of the twins lmao they both sound really fun and I like how they juxtapose one another- also how you have their whole family worked out??? It just reminded me I need to do some more backstory work for my group lmao but honestly it was really cool reading about them so don't even worry about long asks or anything!

[azirelll]

Story wich i dont have a title yet but i should

When I first met my roommate, I thought it was nothing special, just a funny dude I met on Discord (which kind of reminded me of how I met Leonida). We texted for a couple of months, and when we found out our problems were almost identical about family and friends, we decided to take the risk and live independently at just 16. The only concern was that neither of us knew how the other looked, not even our gender! Just our hobbies and where we were from. We got to know the rest, I guess, through intuition. We found a nice, cheap apartment in the middle of the city, a real deal for students like us. And now, here I am on a train to Bern, meeting someone I have no idea what they might look like. But I'm more scared of the people in the train station, who all look classy and stylish. While there's me with big baggage and a hiking backpack full of clothes, I'm trying to find the right bus to get to the apartment.

After several 15-minute bus rides, I arrive at the street. It's a modern apartment complex. I get inside and already notice that our names are already written on the postbox: "Salvator Pontefice and Sally Bridges. "I guess that is Ally's name (his name is Ally<3 on Discord). Here, I started thinking, "Is it really just a dude I met online?" But then I forget everything and call him for the first time. "Hello, who is this?" said a rather smooth, feminine voice. I respond in a careless and chilled tone, "I'm Sal; remember on Discord with our whole plan? “Ohh, I'm already inside. Hold on, I'll help you carry your things," then she quickly hung up. Like, is she stressed?

She slowly walked to the entrance and yes, I’m saying she because my dumb ass just now realized it’s a 16-year-old girl not guy as she came down. She is short, I think at least 15 centimeters shorter than me, has long black wavy hair with a hint of brown like it has been burnt with a torch. She is the first person I know with heterochromia; she has one brown eye like me and a blue one with a tattoo under it, maybe she wanted to replicate Melina’s one from Elden Ring, but her blue eye reminded me more of Ranni. She had a tired but chilled expression and came down in sweatpants like I would do in such a situation too "woah so you should be Azriel right, or Salva" she said as she chuckled a bit "What name do I use”. “Using our discord tags to call each other would be weird, wouldn’t it?" I responded while entering.

Probably im posting the continuation to this when i feel im ready for it since it was a struggle for me posting this (im too anxious lol)

[kristaline2dmensimp]

Marco x reader (NSFW)

Warning: Femdom(?), Unprotected sex, slight bdsm.

A/n: Its already oct 7 in my country!!! In all honesty this is my first time writing smut so bare with wrong grammars? 😅 also this is kind a birthday gift to myself. 😁

(ahem @thatbadbruja My friend and fellow Marco simp I won't definitely forget to tag you on my Marco's content. 👀)

1,743 words

*****

3rd person's POV

This last few days you couldn't sleep well since you started to have this fantasy with your lover a.k.a Marco appearing frequently in your dreams. Moreover, in an outrageous state.

Imagining about taking complete control during your sexy time with Marco's hands tied to the headboard panting and moaning, both body glistening in sweat- wouldn't leave your mind.

Succumbing to your desires, you embarrassingly confessed it to Marco which he responded with a raised brow, but didn't dismiss the idea of it. In fact, he's quite curious; he's more open about his kink and fetishes to you, so hearing you voice out your own desire he's more willing to oblige. Which resulted to being locked inside the privacy of your room, full on liplock sharing a hot intense kiss, pulling away only to breathe; discarding each other's clothing until you were left with only your undergarments and him being completely bare.

"Strawberry will be our safeword." You said pushing him down to the bed, with a small smirk on your face. "I think you're underestimating me Yoi." He chuckled pulling you on top of him mirroring your smirk as you straddle his waist.

Smiling you lean down to his ear before you grind against his pulsating cock, wiping the smirk from his face, prompting a deep groan from the Marco.

"Just a precaution, my dear." You whispered before smashing your lips on his, tongue on the mix, one hand caressing the tattooed part of his well toned chest to distract him while your other hand reached for something on your bedside table.

Marco, of course, isn't one to give up easily, so expect a little challenge from him. He smirked as he tried to gain momentum on the kiss.

Frowning, you hump hard enough into his hardened cock swallowing his moans of pleasure.

He tried to move his hand to touch you but felt half of his strength drained from his body. Pulling away for air, a string of saliva connecting you two, looking up, that's when he realized you had cuffed his hands to the headboard.

'when did....' Marco wondered in shock.

"Oh, I hope you don't mind being tied up for a little while." You said massaging his chest with a small grin.

"Really yoi? Seastone cuffs?" He asked panting fo air looking at you through half lidded eyes. He can't deny he's actually turned on by this.

"I know you're not complaining. So relax, I'll make sure you enjoy it." You said grinning as he gulp seeing the mischievous glint in yoir eyes that made his cock stiffer than usual.

"My, my. You seem really excited." You said feeling his hard member under your clothed sex.

"Well that's your effect on me." Grinning at his reply, you lean down kissing his lips soflty before traveling down to his neck and chest until you came face to face with his aching cock.

You took a hold of his hardened shaft pumping it slightly and his hips instinctively jerk into your hand.

"f-f*ck (____)." He groaned out throwing his head back into the pillow, hands clench and unclenching tugging on the restraints you put on him as you drag your tongue from the underside of his shaft to his tip, licking off the precum before swallowing him.

"Shit f*ck!" He grunted catching him off guard by starting immediately on a fast rhythm, bobbing your head up and down feeling his legs tense up.

"Haa...haa...sh*t you're honna make me cum faster than I thought." Marco moaned accompanied by the rattling of the chains at his futile attempt of breaking free. Not being able to touch your face, your hair, 'anything' are pure torture to him.

Feeling delighted knowing you were responsible for the sound of pleasure leaving his mouth, you suck roughly on his length hoping this would push him over the edge.

"(____) I'm c-cumming." Feeling him twitch in your mouth, you immediately pull away. "wha- hey." He whined from the lost contact leaving him fromt the peak of his orgasm. He lift his head to look at you, eyes filled with lust and out of breath.

"Do you wanna cum Marco?" You teased, stripping off your remaining undergarments. "If you're gonna cum.." You trailed off taking his hard shaft and aligning it at your entrance. "Then do it inside!" You finished your sentence as you slam yourself down, the delicious stretch, movement and the thickness of his cock made you moan louder.

"Wai–" He didn't had the chance to finish what he was saying when his body stilled, releasing a strangled groan as he came deep inside of you, back arching feeling the tightness of your walls.

Your body shivering from the feeling of being filled to the brim. "Haa...haa..you came so..much." You panted both of your face flushed red and body covered with sweat. Smiling you look at him in the eye.

"Round two babe? I haven't came yet." You coed and before he could comprehend the dangerous glint in your eyes, you began to lift your hips up before slamming it back down, eliticing the loud sweet moan out of Marco.

"(___) w-wait! I just ca~me." He moan throwing his head back on the pillow, restlessly clutching and tugging the restraints on his wrist, flexing the fine muscles of his arm.

"F*ck!" He cussed. Without the healing properties of his devil fruit, Marco could thoroughly feel the slight overstimulation mixed with pleasure coursing through his body. This may be the first time he felt this kind of sensations and boy it felt too good. The drool at the corner of his mouth and the way he he shut his eyes closed are the proof of it.

"Haa..fuck it." He panted before digging the heel of his feet down to the mattress, moving his hips to meet your thrust feeling determined to make you cum faster. "Ahh!" The action made you gasp and moan as he hit your sweet spot. Falling forward to his chest both of you were breathing heavily but your movements didn't falter still maintaining the fast rhythm.

"Don't think just because...I'm tied up with sea prism stone...I dont have the energy left....to f*ck you..yoi." He said in between breaths while looking at you straight in the eye. "heh, we'll see...about that." You responded picking up the pace.

Groaning, you two chase each other's lips, muffling the sound of pleasure only pulling away for air and your body began to tremble feeling your upcoming release. Your hands on his chest for support.

You shut your eyes closed as you bit your lower lip while Marco let out a hoarse moan feeling you clamp down on him.

Noticing this, Marco speed up his thrust knowing you're gonna cum sooner or later as he found your sweet spot intensifying your pleasure. He smirk watching as you gave off a lewd expression while wiping the drool off at the corner of your mouth.

"Mmm, feels too good." You said slamming down on his shaft matching his pace. Encouraged by your words, Marco continously hit your sweet spot that made you see stars until your orgasm hit you hard to the point you collapsed on top of him. With one last thrust he came deep insde you.

He gave off a rugged breaths as you pulled yourself off, shuddering at the oozing feeling of his release down your legs.

"That was....amazing." Marco stated catching his breath before looking at you. "It sure did." You responded staring back at him.

Marco felt a chill ran down his spine seeing the dangerous glint on ypir eyes haven't faded. He jolt at the feeling of your hand on his softening shaft trying to spring it back to life.

"Haa..(____) stop pls....f*ck!" Marco whined as he squirmed, already feeling sensitive, you had made him cum twice without even a few minutes break.

"Is it too much? Yoi can say the safeword dear." You stated, pausing your ministrations to give him the chance to reply, but you were met with silence his gaze full with lust and heavy breaths.

"I really shouldn't underestimated you. Hope your done with the few seconds break, Marco." You coed secretly pulling out a blindfold, both of you were clearly enjoying this.

Your alluring smirk was the last thing he sees before you put on the blindfold on him, his other senses heightens.

You lean down, capturing his lips swallowing his groans and moans while you kept stroking his shaft.

"The main event is yet to come." You whispered tugging his bottom lip, aligning his semi hardened shaft at your entrance, you began to slowly sink down making him moan loud from the overstimulation and his grip tightened at the chains of his restraints.

" Haa.. You're lucky that you put...ahh...seastone cuffs on me or else...ah sh*t You'd be at my mercy yoi." Marco said struggling to keep his moans down as you started bouncing up and down on his shaft.

You knew he'd never let you go easily and his statement is the proof of it, so why not make use the best of it?

Feeling him twitch, you smirked. "Too bad, I'm in control." You responded letting out an occasional moans when the tip of his cock graze ypur sweet spot.

Completely drowned in pleasure, Marco let out a strangle moan, flexing the veins and muscles of his arms as you made him cum for the third time yet your movements didn't falter.

"If I can only escape this cuf-" Marco didn't had the chance to finish his sentence when you captured his lips, tongue dancing together.

'haa...f*ck..' He thought feeling his impending release coming quicker than the last one.

"I'm coming master~" You grinned widely when Marco cussed out loud from hearing your words, both of your bodies were already covered in a thick sweat and exhaustion were taking over, yet you had the the gal to still tease him? Was what marco thought and he wonder when did you become so bold. But he wasn't going to complaining.

"(____) I'll surely..haa..get you back for this yoi.." Marco stated tugging the chains as you giggle. "I'd be disappointed if you don't, my dear Marco~" You coed before you two came undone reaching pure ecstasy.

[one-abuse-survivor]

hey, ive messaged you before but just decided to now add an anon nickname, so im 🦈 anon

my mom is so transphobic and she wont accept that im trans

i no longer live with her, i live in another country and make my own money, so i managed to get on hormones and use a different name here. however, i havent told her that im on hormones and she made me promise not to go on hormones and also says that i should not change my identity. its soon gonna be her 50th birthday and everyones expecting me to go visit her for that

im so scared, i dont know what to do. i need to tell her im on hormones. she had so many mental health issues after i told her im trans some months ago, because of that, and im just, really scared. she says that i shouldnt be scared of her and that i should be able to tell her anything, thats shes afraid that i hate her and she wants me to love her, but im just stressed and dont know what to do

antidepressants had been helping me but now i feel like theyre no longer helping because i dont know what to do

Hey nonnie! I'm really glad you managed to move out and go on hormones/go by a new name. That's incredible!

I'm sorry you had to go through all this. I imagine her birthday has passed already, but I hope my reply can still help. I'm in a similar situation to yours—I also started hormones and am working toward changing my name, and my mother has no idea yet (that I know of). And I also sometimes get caught up in a spiral of "I need to tell her, how am I going to tell her? What will she say?" (she's also expressed not wanting me to go on hormones before). It's a horrible way to feel.

But the truth is we do not owe anyone information or explanations about what we do with our bodies. And that includes our parents. Going on hormones, in that sense, is no different than getting a tattoo or having an abortion or getting cosmetic surgery: other people might think we made the wrong choice—they might even think our choices are morally reprehensible, or believe that we've made that decision just to hurt them—but what they think is their problem. Not ours.

It's your body. It's your life. You don't owe her an apology or explanation. You are not responsible for her mental health. You don't have to suffer for her to be happy, and you don't have to apologise for the decisions you make to work toward your own happiness and wellbeing.

I also hope you know that you don't have to do anything just because people expect you to. You don't have to see her, or talk to her, or do anything else you're not comfortable with just because it's what's expected. You are in control of your life and you are the one who makes the decisions. Again, what everyone else thinks of the decisions you make is their problem, and not your responsibility.

Sending a big, big hug. Feel free to update me if you want to! ❤️

[megatraven]

RE: Number asks--4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28, 30, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, and 44. (Apologies in advance for the interview dump--and feel free to ask any back to me that you want! XD)

sorry this took a bit! my computer's been crap the last couple of days and answering this on mobile was a no-go :^) (if i already answers some, then i didn't re-answer them here!)

i am putting this under a readmore cause it's a little long, and there is a potentially triggering answer (with TWs on it)

4:Do you drink? - sometimes! not very often tbh, and when i do it's USUALLY just one drink tops

8:Want any tattoos? - YES!! the best tattoo idea i've ever had and desperately want is a tattoo of a grape on my finger tip so that when my fingers prune it becomes a raisin :))

but also i want this symbol tattood on in honor of alex <3:

but also also.... i want a bunch more too :) i want to get a cool sleeve tattoo that travels over my back and down the other arm

10:Want any piercings? - not really, i'm not big on wearing jewelry and the piercings i do have are empty for most of the year

14:Biggest turn offs - physical intimacy that isn't initiated by me. mansplainers. i dont really knwo what else to put here bc i don't necessarily even get turned on LMAO

16:I’ll love you if - this is a hard one because i already love everybody, i love all my little friends and followers here on tumblr dot com

18:Most traumatic experience - (TW: suicidal thoughts (not mine), knives) once when I was younger, i was home with just my older brother and my mom. out of nowhere my mom starts yelling and crying and me and my brother rush over to her and she's so obviously in pain and she's yelling about how her head feels like it wants to explode. (found out later she was having a really terrible migraine). my brother was trying to calm her down and we were trying to figure out what to do. i remember her saying, very clearly, that she wanted to take a knife and stick it through her ears to get the pain to stop. that she wanted to die because it hurt so bad. my brother kept an eye on her while he called our neighbors to come help. i went and took all of our steak knives and hid them. just in case we couldn't stop her. i was just a kid. i didn't know what else to do. but after so many years, that situation has stuck in my head, and it makes me extremely afraid of other people in pain. my mom's had a lot of health issues over the years and there have been times that she's in intense pain and i've always just froze up. and i would try to prepare myself to hold her down if i had to, like my brother was prepared to do back then. and sometimes i would wonder if i need to hide the knives again. (it never got so bad again, though, thankfully)

20:What I hate most about myself - i have a tendency to self-isolate when i'm feeling down or anxious and that only makes me feel WORSE and i hate it so much. im working on getting thru that tho

22:What I want to be when I get older - an artist and writer :) BUT!! also would be very interested in being an anthropologist still, too

24:My relationship with my parent(s) - strained a lot of the time, but it does a lot better when we're not living under the same roof. i love my parents, but they have a lot of room to improve, and i don't think they will. they love me, too, and they've helped me out a lot when shit has fallen apart, which i'm endlessly thankful for. but i don't know if they would love all of me if i came out which strains the relationship on my side which frustrates them and it's just. woof. we have stuff to work through lol but i'm not ready yet.

26:My biggest pet peeves - self deprecation as a form of humor, and refusing to take care of your body's basic needs even with a reminder to do so. neither one is funny or cute or quirky. it's annoying as shit. when my friends do it i want to throttle them (with love)

28:A description of the person I dislike the most - genuinely cannot think of a person i dislike the most

30:What I hate the most about work/school - i am taken advantage of because i'm a good worker and im a doormat so they just keep getting away with it >:(

32:What words upset me the most - when other people call me stupid or dumb or otherwise imply i'm not smart. when people try to control and box me in re: my sexuality as if they have any authority on that.

34:What I find attractive in women - everything :)

36:Where I would like to live - denver colorado! or really any place with mountains that gets relatively cold

38:My childhood career choice - volcanologist! (still kinda want that tbh) and firefighter, like my dad.

40:Who I wish I could be - i'm pretty happy being myself tbh

42:The last thing I ate - strawberry toaster strudels for breakfast

44:A random fact about anything - the plural of the word "beef" is "beeves"

[queer-as-frikc]

My coming out story is weird, it gets a lil transphobic so tw near the end tw long post too

So, pretty much throughout my time growing up through elementary school and half of middle school, i grew up in a white middle class area. I didnt know about the LGBTQ+ or anything other than what I saw, which was white people and an occasional poc. Eventually I had to move and I ended up in a super diverse area, and ended up becoming best friends with this person (they are ftm now so imma use the right pronouns but they were f when this story mostly takes place) he told me all about things I didnt know, specifically the LGBTQ+ community and that he was pan, and it was new information so just like any 13 year old learning new things, I questioned myself, I questioned if I could like the same sex or not or possibly more.

Sadly, drama happened between my best friend, his girlfriend and I, so thing got a little weird. But there was a time in winter, when he was off that relationship for more than a month and he said he'd like to date me, and I really thought about it before hand and said yeah, I couldnt tell you how happy I was to have this experience.

I told my mom that night, in a round about way cuz I was nervous, "Hey mom, what if I liked girls?" She told me she doesnt think that I do, because I always expressed feelings for guys, and when I tell her I didnt really understand what being gay was when I was younger, I didn't really know it was a possibility. She snapped at me and said, "Unless you are willing to kiss a girl and do the other stuff, you arent gay at all."

Eventually I have a sit down conversation with her, about how confusing this all was and how I wish I knew how I felt, and so on. She said she had a similar questioning phase but it never stuck so she doesnt think I am.

Like a month later I figure it out and dude that was so gratifying. I came out as bi to my mom, who just dismissed the whole thing, but I was terrified to tell my uncle (it's a long story about that, no it's not "sweet home Alabama") because he always said bi's were wh*res so yeah. I ended up telling him, and he goes, "You know my opinion on it but that doesnt mean that I'll disown you or anything." Btw the relationship (dating wise) with my best friend after he came out as ftm because he went back to his ex, it's all cool tho.

So that was that, or so I thought. It was my first year of high school, and I finally really understood the definition of pan, what was holding me back though was the trans experience, I thought because I didnt know what it was like, I couldnt be pan, even though I didnt have a preference, turns out it just means you like people no matter their gender and it like, clicked finally so yeah. I've told my family about that since but I a similar reaction: my mom said she doesnt think I am and she lectured me on my generation having so many labels and how she hated it. My uncle said he appreciated that I was pan more than me being bi which confused me but he just had a better view of pansexual than bisexual. (I explained to both of them what the difference was but idk man)

I believe it was my second year of high school when I really started to question my gender, and that was mostly because I saw a video of what gender dysphoria looks like if it's not that strong and you arent aware for ftm. So like wearing bagging clothes all the time, always wearing sports bras, and practically no other bra, feeling really good if someone accidentally calls you sir, etc. And I was like, oml it's me. But it wasnt, I didnt find that out until later tho. So, with my friend group, I find a name that seems to fit me well and ask them to address me by it and he/him pronouns, as like a test of sorts. (All of my friends are gay in some way so it was cool) In the end tho, I got a little iffy about the whole thing and wouldnt ever correct them at times or it was just off for me. I felt really bad because I thought that they might have thought that I was just trying to force myself to be more like them, but I wasnt, i still felt bad though and kinda dropped it.

I'm not sure 100% how I figured it out tho, but I remember talking to my best friend (not the same one from middle school, they were my best friend as well but they arent the same person) about the whole experience and I believe they brought up the idea of genderfulid, and I was like :0.... what that. They explain it, you go aall over the gender spectrum, some days you might feel like a boy, others you might feel like you have no gender, some days you might feel like your gender is something completely weird and different, that's just what it is. And I was like, "It fits but like, I barely feel femme at any point in time, maybe like once a year." And they tell me, that's ok and stuff as long as my gender just decides to be a completely weird and went all over the place, it counted, so I was like, "I finally figured it out!!!" And i was so happy.

Then came the time I was comfortable enough to tell my parents. I had been using the label genderfuild for over half a year already and I thought that it was what I was so it was ok to tell them. I saw how ok me being gay went, so I was nervous but not as nervous as I should have been, probably. I told my mom first, she went on a similar rant of her no liking my generations labels and such, but it went fine, I explained it, I thought I was through, I thought I was fine, apparently not. One day I'm in the shower and I hear my mom being very expressive with what ever shes talking about to my uncle, which is fine, she needs someone to vent to sometimes. When I get out though, and I can here her clearly, I hear sees complaining about what I told her recently, that I'm genderfulid, but instead of saying that, she only says I want to be a boy. (Oh no) So shes complaining to him, asking why I cant be more like her and just be a masculine girl and be fine, why do I have to fit in with the crowd of my generation to feel special, why cant I just be fine with who I am now? Etc.

The sad thing is, that night, I was going out shopping for pants and underwear with my uncle because I needed some and I wore men's pants already at that point, because they are more durable, and stuff so I knew it was gonna be a long ride. My mom was snippy with me that whole night, just the entire time which sucked.

When we finally left to go get clothes though, I didnt know it could get worse. My uncle lectured me about how that's just my generations fad, and how his was making tattoos and piercings ok in the work place and mine is being trans a gay and all that crap, and that I'm just trying to fit in, I'm not being myself, no matter how much I chop myself up and cut my hair and take hormones my chromosomes will never change and so I can never be an actual guy. He also said that I would bring just more attention to myself being a woman who does guy things rather than try and be one, and he thinks I'm doing this all for attention. I was mad but silent at this point, I didnt want to cause anything to happen. He ended up asking me, "So did you pick a different name?" I was surprised but I said yeah, and my friends were using it and it seemed to fit better. He asked me what it was and fear over took my body. I told him, "I'll only tell you if you dont use it against me if your mad." He says, "i cant promise that." And then gets mad because I wont tell him. Though I do, because I feel obligated since hes buying me clothes. To be even more confusing, he buys me guys underwear, and undershirts along with the predetermined pants he promised me and now I'm so confused.

But it gets even worse. When we get home, my mom freaks out on him because be bought me all that mens stuff and she said he was encouraging my behavior and stuff, he defended with it's just clothes, and yah it is. Eventually things settle down, obviously my mom isnt talking to be, but that's for the best at this point. I'm in the living room with my uncle and he just then starts harassing me with questions like, how do you know? he asks. "Well, I just feel that way, same as you." I say. But why do you wanna be a guy? he asks. "I dont wanna be a guy, it's just weird that way. Also it's not me being a guy, it me being many more than that," I say. He says that's bullsh*t. I offer to show him videos that better explain what trans is and how it's an actual sciencey thing and stuff but he said he wont take a video because he wants me to say it. And then he just goes off, saying the name I picked out shows how self centered I am because I am selfish, he kept asking me if i liked to fight, to catch and play with bugs, to be strong, to be angry all the time, and all these stereotypes for men and I just left, and went to bed. He wasnt going to listen to me, so there wasnt a point to me staying.

But, it gets worse. The morning comes and I'm awoken by the slam of my door by my uncle and the laughter of my mom. My uncle starts being really aggressive and starts cleaning my room, I only have clothes on the floor mostly so that's all it was, but he starts saying, well if you're gonna be a man, imma start training you like one, the man of the house picks up after everyone, the man of the house does everything he can to help the house run smoothly, the man of the house has to be strong, and all that stuff. (Which I thought was funny because he was "the man of the house" yet I did everything, and still do. I clean up most after him, funny huh.) And, I know what's happening and so I stay in bed, I don't want this to happen. But I literally get ripped out of my bed by my uncle and get told to stop being a little b*tch and a brat because I'm being selfish by my mom and I'm yelled at to sit in the living room and wait while my uncle cleans my room. When hes done hes starts lecturing me and being all aggressive and in my face. He keeps asking me a million questions with the tone that he didnt care so I knew he wouldn't listen. Eventually, him and my mom leave, I'm told to stay there until I get back. When they do get back, they act like everything is fine, nothing happened between them and I and it's just been so hard for me to talk to them about that since.

I'm greatful that I dont have to deal with that anymore but every time something that that is brought up with my family, I panic so much now. I'm fine and I'm safe but it was very traumatic for me. And uh, thanks for listening.

hey, thank you so much for sharing your story. this was just. so heartbreaking. noone deserves to have a person like your uncle in their life. im so sorry you had to go through all of that. i hope you’re in a much better place now <3 (also i loveeddd reading about how you figured it out) =)

again, tysm <3

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: you 👀 this Rio: edie's snaps Rio: yes bitch Rio: so she gonna have a dog now, they setting up house Rio: where WHERE Indie: you know it in a whip Indie: if it any place Indie: wtf wtf Indie: he aint even got a nice ride & we all been knew Rio: he be driving without a license rn too Indie: he be driving w out his head on right fr Indie: you think im always high bitch Rio: I swear he been high since he been on the scene as a younger Rio: she makes a point of not dating lads her age but why if he only gon provide you what any waste of any age could Indie: i kno he has cos he come thru to me & drew when Indie: wasteman Indie: from day 1 Rio: exactly Rio: god Rio: saying poor dog but not even the point Rio: how she livin he stealing dogs for her now what Indie: we aint even gon be set to call any heads in cos we dont know where they @ Indie: cant say a 🐶 be stolen & holed up somewhere Rio: she lucky if someone don't clock Rio: it's a pup and it's clearly pedigree Rio: that's thousands, not to mention if they love it and all that fucked shit he ain't consider Indie: it probs chipped thats how mans do when they drop cash Indie: bet he aint thought Indie: he could go prison w drew if 🐶 are missed least get him away Rio: oh god Rio: i'll warn her, not that that'll be appreciated Indie: he should b anyway riding a girl her age at his that shit nasty Indie: get a wifey in your years Rio: i know Rio: surprised he ain't make her keep it on the low til her bday Indie: how your ma not merk him ages afore this Rio: you know how it is Rio: she gon do it anyway so don't fight her on it Indie: i kno she been tryna chase away any boy i ever been near & dey in my bracket Rio: yeah well you ain't gonna do something 10x worse when you questioned init Indie: bitch maybe Indie: if she gon have a dog in a car imma live how i want Indie: deal w it mama cavante Rio: don't even play Indie: she 🤡ing nuff for us all Indie: im vexed af Rio: seriously Rio: this is ridiculous Indie: u do kno she dating drew younger Indie: he buy shit to keep peace thats literally how it plays Indie: boy aint even as cute tho awks Rio: but worse Rio: at least drew isn't an addict, whatever else he got going on Indie: nah that just how he want his wifeys Rio: he should be proud Rio: twat Indie: i feel 😷 Rio: at least she admitted she's feeling on it Rio: buster tried to talk to her and got nowhere so Indie: how that boy exist Indie: 😇😇👑😇😇 Indie: get you a daddy who Rio: clearly she good like Indie: i aint even get a call back from the lad i want 👁👁👁 madness Rio: you wanna be wifed up by a lad like that, i think not Rio: he only got no chill cos that's how he livin' his whole life Indie: i want who i want Indie: he aint that Rio: exactly Rio: lord Rio: at least it ain't an actual baby Rio: 'cos that'll 'bout be it, like bye 💀 Indie: dont even chat it Indie: we aint need that possible in the universe Rio: 😶 Indie: u kno he aint ridin proper all the drugs he on Indie: no gettin hard Rio: as much as i ain't about u puttin that in my head i hope u right Rio: god Indie: i is Indie: i been round nuff customers to get the vibe Rio: yikes Rio: drew making a side hustle selling the little blue ones is it Rio: can't be dealing Indie: he should it y them boys so 💔💔💔💔 & vexed Rio: cracked it Rio: we'll do it and get the money Rio: is it prescription, not tryna go to jail with him Indie: hacks Indie: nah man it over counter Rio: nice Rio: so doing it, untapped market Indie: shame it aint work for girls too Indie: you could make more if it do Indie: 🤑🤑🤑🤑 Rio: i think there's a female one but bet that's still prescription, if even available here Rio: bullshit Indie: is it? Indie: if i been knew i coulda hit that w my ex Indie: 💔💔💔💔 Rio: yeah? Indie: he aint good i told you nah? Rio: i didn't know if it was just the first or what and i weren't tryna be too in your face at that time init Rio: not on speaking terms Indie: innit Indie: i been thought it me but i 👂ed others saying since he dashed me Rio: ha Rio: unlucky Rio: know he ain't trying and that's literally half the battle so he ain't gon' do better Indie: bitch if i tried any harder w it id have to pray Indie: waste Indie: 😭😭😭😭 Rio: aw baby Rio: happen when you ain't looking Rio: ma realness of the day Indie: but i want it to happen w the boy i 👀 everywhere in my circles Rio: is this science boy or another one? Indie: we aint tryna call him science boy but you kno Rio: okay gimme a better name i gotta keep track somehow Indie: he called zamari thats he name Rio: that's cute Rio: i'll probably remember that Indie: [sends screenshot of a snap so she can see his face] Indie: lookit Rio: aww Rio: sweet Indie: be sweeter if he was bout me Indie: but you kno Rio: no chance you reckon or what Rio: what's the vibe Indie: the vibe is he one of the boys now Indie: w the rest Indie: he aint see me like 😍😍😍😍 cos we ✌✌✌✌ Rio: I get you Rio: never know Indie: help me cos you 🔥🔥🔥🔥👑👑💖💖💖 Indie: aint no boy ever friended you how Rio: i have boy friends Indie: bitch where Rio: Rian Indie: please he wanna fuck you since he been known Rio: 😒 Rio: Still Rio: I got friends bitch Rio: I just been busy 😂 damn Indie: i aint tryna come for you i saying you a MILF i needs you to help me Indie: it been long & no thing i done work Rio: Hmm Rio: Maybe you gotta stop being friendly for a bit so he see you like that Rio: that way you know Indie: like stop showin him skate tricks? Rio: yeah Rio: start showing him other tricks Indie: but i aint have none Indie: how i gon do that Rio: just pretend Rio: he aint gone know Indie: i cant b like oi lads guess who know how to suck a dick it me Indie: we aint rollin w no girlie sleepover moves Rio: that ain't exactly what i mean 😂 Rio: just be more of a girl Rio: then they'll see it and fill in the gaps if they feeling it, you know Indie: 😒😒😒😒 Rio: what you poutin for Indie: why he not want me how i is Indie: rude Indie: this aint happen to me afore Rio: idk maybe he got a type Rio: don't take it personal, some people be so specific Indie: @mckenna Indie: 😂😂😂😂😂 Rio: exactly Rio: shows there's hope yet, just work out what he likes Rio: probably tell you cos you one of the boys Indie: there is this girl in science he 👀 @ when i looking toward him Indie: I just do how she do? Rio: Yeah Rio: but better, obvs Indie: [sends pic of the girl in question who is obvs more girly etc] Indie: can you do it bitch or nah Rio: 'Course I can Rio: though Grace would be gutted if you didn't let her in on the action too, like Indie: she gon own me w it Indie: but k 💄👗 Indie: we on it Rio: It'll be fun Indie: is it? 😒😒 Indie: when tho? Rio: you don't gotta Rio: n u don't need to but if you wanna get your mans Rio: it might work, boys are that dumb Rio: so whenever you wanna roll up on him Indie: imma do it but i aint vibin Indie: lets kick this now afore i think any harder on it & chat myself out Rio: you know this only good for a hookup yeah Rio: you ain't gonna makeover scene yourself for life Indie: naaah he gon get a taste and then he gon love me Indie: dont get me twisted Rio: Hmm Rio: expectation management baby Indie: he gon get himself a girl who do both Indie: 👑👑👑👑 Rio: slow your roll gurl Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: wys i been waitin since he showed Rio: to ride him mayb Rio: you don't gotta go so hard for the d Indie: you want me to hit & quit now? Indie: damn ma Rio: nah you do you Rio: i just sayin if you wanna be w him then he gotta be about u for u Rio: goes without sayin but like Indie: so you not gon help me or you is? Rio: we gotta debrief harder on what this is and what you want Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Rio: just keep away from that tattoo gun this time yeah? Indie: 😂😂😂😂 you gotta chill ri ri its no thing Rio: nah Indie: nah? Rio: yeah but we dun had this argument then so we don't gotta now Indie: caraca bitch 😮😮😮 you gon do me like i aint learned Indie: i just want him i aint tryna head down no aisle w you & mckenna Rio: Nah, I know Rio: I'm just chatting on any more ink Rio: we're good Indie: his name aint fit in 💘 its all good Rio: 😒 shut up bitch Indie: you rude Indie: play w me Rio: I'm trying Rio: but her shit got me in no mood now like Indie: 💔💔💔💔 Indie: lets roll out somewhere some way Rio: where you wanna be Indie: idc Indie: far Rio: Okay Rio: I'll see what's on Rio: seeing as I do have friends, you know Indie: so you keep chatting 😂😂😂 Rio: 😒 Rio: lucky I don't have too many or I wouldn't roll w you would I 😜 Indie: bitch allow it Indie: im the most ✌✌ Rio: you certainly the most something Indie: innit tho Rio: 😂 Indie: tell yo friends baby 😏😏😏💘💘 Rio: You're chief Rio: also Jas and Kels are on pre-drinks now so you believe they exist enough to come or what Indie: i aint never said you w out squad Indie: just w out boyyys Rio: well they cramp your style how you gon meet boys when you surrounded init Indie: i aint had no issue w it babe Rio: 😑 Rio: you saying i'm dry Rio: i'm cool Indie: i saying what i been saying this whole they all 😍😍😍😍 cos you peng Indie: not tryna friend you when they can wife it Rio: they can't now tho Rio: soz about it lads 🤷 Indie: 💎💎💎 see from 🌚 Rio: You know it Indie: how you styled? Rio: Hmm Rio: I gotta see, my clothes are still all over Rio: Nothing too wild Indie: i feel that Indie: im clappin rn Indie: look & mood Rio: 😔 Indie: aint tryna have your mates think im dry crump Indie: gotta step in & up Rio: Nah they nice Rio: you know that kid in your year Rio: ugh, what do they call him Rio: O'Shea they last name, anyway, Kells is his sister Indie: !!!!!!!!!! Rio: Yeah but it'll be chill Rio: not trying wriggle into that fucking catsuit again and have you creasing 😂 Indie: i aint tryna help your drunk arse out again and be sweatin Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: 😂 rude but fair Rio: actual mess Indie: how mckenna get under that? the boy is 👑👑🥇 Rio: i mean you can ask but you already worried peeps be getting the wrong idea about you, babe so Indie: girl please Indie: i aint worried bout no thing you hush Rio: 😏 is it Rio: ma be so proud Indie: wys Indie: it all good over here Rio: i saying she got a bisexual agenda Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: gutted by how many straight kids she got Indie: she turned my ma i aint tryna follow in dem steps soz bout it Rio: 😂 Indie: kissed few girls but she aint need kno Indie: not bringin them home to meet Rio: Exactly Rio: Such a cringe, bless her Indie: her hair always be sick tho Indie: how she do it Rio: #blessed Rio: jammy bitch Rio: in the genes, obvs 🍀 Indie: im mad Indie: you aint tryna do me one solid drew is it Rio: you know you cute sh Indie: dash that Indie: 👾👾👾 Rio: what you talking bitch Indie: he got me lookin 👽👽👽 cos his dna Indie: vexin Rio: you don't look like an alien you mad Rio: if anything he's given you the looks, like Rio: literally bout the only thing Indie: nah Rio: 😡 Rio: where dis coming from Indie: im in the mirror bitch Indie: & my feelings Rio: you want me to sort your weave Indie: its chill Rio: you can't go out not feeling 💯 Indie: i been done that trust Rio: 😢 baby no Indie: you aint gotta amp it Indie: im w out a man stealing me any 🐶 for my woes Indie: just out here w it Rio: you got a 🐶 and you ain't need no man for no thing else either Indie: you kno Indie: how i mean it Rio: i know Rio: it's nice to have one about but only if they not a fuckboy Rio: otherwise it's just hassle, more than already you don't need, trust Indie: im just tryna feel caught up in a thing that aint walking the streets w this face wearing his name while everyone kno where drew is and he been livin Indie: i been stopped mad amount times today only Rio: makes sense Rio: i don't blame you Rio: this town always talks Indie: u think thats how science boy dont fuck w me Indie: he aint new now he been around & he kno Indie: ?? Rio: I don't reckon Rio: why'd he be that anti-drugs or like Rio: nah Indie: not 🚭 just anti waste Rio: not like he gotta hang w ur dad Rio: i don't see it Rio: would be fucked if he was Rio: you ain't drew, like Indie: but i be livin on top like him Indie: too hype maybe Rio: if he roll w u and ur squad he obviously about that life too Indie: idk man Indie: if you right you right Indie: 💖💖💖 ty for chattin me down from 👑👑 Indie: big love like Rio: don't be silly Rio: always Rio: ��� Indie: how much time it gon feel like this for us Rio: How you mean? Indie: will it be good again when i kno drews stretch or nah Indie: i aint tryna feel worse Rio: I don't know Rio: better for knowing exactly what's gonna happen Rio: it always helps Rio: not gonna make everything magically better like but least we know the plan, like Indie: least if he gets a few i can age out of him playin da Rio: yeah Rio: we'll see Indie: & you can get mckenna down the aisle w out him not holding his ☮ Rio: 🙄 Rio: christ, probably not making the guest list either way, like Indie: you gon do big & white or lowkey Rio: go big or go home init Rio: gotta be grown to have those funds Indie: 😂😂😂😂 i shoulda been knew Indie: mckenna aint do lowkey no time Indie: he got the 💸💸💸 tho so go off Rio: just tryna get out of the matching dresses, i 👀 Indie: allow it Indie: you aint want me to go out feeling less than 110 but you bout 🤡ing me in 💒 k k Rio: 😂 Rio: it's my big day, bitch 😉 Indie: yeah so how you want me in all the pics looking bare owned Indie: catch me 😒😒😒😒 in every frame bitch Rio: Obvs Rio: that's the kinda bitch I am Rio: long as I'm slaying, none of you hoes can be Indie: ruuude Indie: how i be hookin mckennas best man in 👗 nah Rio: thought you reckoned it'd be nance Rio: sure she'll think you look lovely 😘 Indie: i aint got enough years to be her type innit Indie: dont wear nuff 💄 either Rio: True Rio: least jailbait ain't her vibe or she'd be in real trouble rn Indie: catch her waiting to be sentenced w drew Indie: wild Rio: Bless Rio: she's doing better, I think Indie: is it? Indie: safe Indie: she getting her head shrunk still? Rio: yeah, well, she ain't asking me to go out on the piss with her as often like so Rio: must be Indie: 💖💖💖💖💖💖 Indie: more ri time for me Indie: sick Rio: You know Rio: so in demand 😘 Indie: innit tho

[confusedlucifer]

(advice anon) you did make sense and that was some very good advice! I think once I'm in a relationship, I tend to be fine (at least, in the two short ones I've been in) bc I learned to prioritize communication. It's just that right now, I haven't dated in years (since I graduated), I don't know to how flirt with other women, I feel that I don't know where to start. I'd been thinking it's good to focus on improving myself, but now I wonder if that's made me think I'm not worthy of dating yet?

sorry this took a while to reply to, i had a whole long thing written out for you three days ago and then tumblr deleted it and so i sulked for a bit!!

but yeah i get where youre coming from. prioritizing communication is definitely the best thing you can do and keep up in any long term relationships as well bc the minute you cant or are unwilling to talk something out openly, it all goes to hell sooner or later.

i guess it also depends what do you mean in terms of improving yourself. are you trying to improve yourself physically? mentally? both? and i mean there are many ways to work on yourself, ykno outside of hitting the gym theres going through your wardrobe and getting some new outfits that make you feel good or getting a fresh haircut and maybe a touch of different color, tattoos or any kind of body modifications that make you feel more at home in your body. because ultimately your quest for self improvement should make you feel better about yourself and more confident. if it’s not achieving that its time to analyze what exactly are you doing and what can you change, so you strive towards building yourself up instead of feeling not good enough.

i also have no idea how to flirt with women, or anyone, that im actually interested in! i’ve found what worked in terms of like dating while queer is either 1. dating apps, are loathsome as they are, because they put you in the position of Yes We Are Both Interested In Trying This Date Thing, Romantically, And It Really Is a Date 2. hurling yourself into hobby groups like, anything where ppl meet regularly for events or to play games or read books or whatever interests you, because its sooo much easier to start a conversation and connect when you already have something in common! if you dont know where to look i can recommend the app Meetup bc like w dating apps, everyone on there going to like random events or meetings is generally looking for friends so people are more open to connecting! (number 2 can also work great for your quest for improvement as well)

but yeah i think one of the worst things you can do to yourself is putting yourself under too much pressure to find someone, and ideally the Perfect Someone you can immediately settle into a relationship with. sometimes it just doesnt happen, but sometimes you get to share some really lovely experiences with a person and it doesnt end up going anywhere but i think its important to value the ephemeral - its still good and fun even if it doesnt last! open yourself to those experiences, even if its scary.

[calumcest]

oh my god it's such a relief to hear it's looking good for this fic rn i'm really invested and i'll definitely yell at you if it ever looks like you're going to abandon it 🙈 it truly is a vibe and i mean great music, malum and also when is any variation of romeo and juliet not a vibe. shakespeare made some points. also i'm so glad you know songs for liam and yaaas they are great i mean technically i only listen to like 4 kraftklub songs bc of my ex but these are great 😅 (pt 1)

(pt 2) i don't really listen to german music either but recommendation: annenmaykantereit you might have heard pocahontas from them when you were here it's a very good song and was/is pretty popular (also barfuß am klavier and bitte bleib are great) I AM SCREAMING YOU KNOW TOKIO HOTEL listen i already wanted to ask about them but i was too afraid 😅 also a MOOD major tom is such a good song did you watch atomic blonde that movie has a fight scene with it and it slaps.

(pt 3) and yes we do have hexenbrennen though i had to google it i only know it as walpurgisnacht 🙈 it's truly the worst bohemian rhapsody is not a great experience in german 😅 also like so many jokes get lost when movies are dubbed i HATE it and also emotions.. the amount of times i had to watch a dubbed movie with my parents and was like 'believe me this scene is so much better in english' 😅 ugh.. i wish i could forget i ever watched hulk.

(pt 4) well i can't tell while reading that you don't know yet where exactly it's going 🙈 as i said i'm currently rereading it and it's sooooo good. i love how you write it and how the story is set up and the pacing and i feel like i'm repeating myself but it's amazing 😅 i honestly don't even know why i don't own these movies.. like i even had a wilde kerle t-shirt but not the actual movies? very weird. -spoiler twin

SDLKFNSKDJF honestly u have full permissions because i REALLY need to finish thsi fic have i ever actually completed a chaptered fic on softirwin i dont think i have . whoops ! 

EXACTLY i’ve written 5k already i’m like...buzzing i’ve literally never been this inspired to write a fic i swear to god its absolutely shocking and definitely nowhere near my best work but i’m vibing and thats what matters right

omg YES i actually do know some of their songs i’m p sure ich geh heut nicht mehr tanzen is by them too? ALSO IM LOSING MY MIND YESSSS i’m pretty sure schrei was one of the first albums i ever got and i cant lie to you it STILL bops and humanoid too?? i do like some of their newer stuff but i massively prefer the stuff they sang in german komm is still on all my playlists and you got me fucked up if you think im not gonna have durch den monsun on my emo playlists...god i fancied tom so much when i was a kid i wonder what hes up to now. WHAT THE FUCK HES MARRIED TO HEIDI KLUM???? fucking hell

yes!! you’re absolutely right and it also just looks so weird like especially with gemran i have to say bc the german sentences are always 400 times longer than the english so the english actor will be like 😐 while the german voice is still talking its so jarring to watch 

PLEASE ur so sweet but thats wild to me i cant believe u cant tell i have no idea where its going i have ONE idea that i want to work in so far but other than that all i know is theyre gonna end up together . let me list you just SOME of the things i made up in this fic literally AS i wrote them: literally everything about the soulmate experiences (that they exist, malum’s one, both of lashton’s), luke and ashton bumping into each other, the tattoos growing, the study, them going to london for the study. there are definitely more things i made that whole semi mugging scene up on the spot for starters but literally NO plan to this fic NOTHING its all completely made up as i go along i’m an absolute menace to literature 

omg...my brother had wilden kerle everything im p sure we still have a mug somewhere he was obsessed i was also obsessed but he was like the exact demographic they were aiming for . god i miss those films i have like zero recollection of what happens in them except VERY vague scenes but the plot? no idea 

[unextordinary-blog]

My year in one post: 2017

okay so its starting to get closer to the end of the year lets have a recap of 2017.

january: I don't have a job anymore, I am not going to school at the moment, I am moving for the hundredth time, and I have to give up my dog and cat, then someone loses my cat. ( so its safe to say january was definitely not my month) but bright side this is the month where i start to talk to my "future" husband. well sort of (this will be explained in a later month).

february: so it's a new month. I am jobless with no prospect of going back to school until the next semester. on top of that our landlords are total pieces of literal dog shit (like im not kidding they have about 5000 dogs in their house and it smells like dog shit) anyways life is starting to look up JUST THE TINIEST BIT because ya girl got a date. i am dating. newly dating. and on top of that i still don't know that my future husband is single yet. (he doesn't like the idea of me dating)

march: we have officially moved into my moms boyfriends house and i already hate it. Its awful i have no closet, no space, no job, no pets, and no will to live (except for my future husband). Its safe to say my life lowkey sucks because not only do i have a curfew now? I have to pretend to not hate my life and i actually have to get out of the bedroom im staying in (yea thats right im not allowed to call his guest bedroom "my room") my moms boyfriend is a total dickwad. he gets what he deserves in later months tho. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( WAIT A MINUTE I just got some info that karma was doing her job all along and i completely forgot part of living with my momster and her dickwad was that I had to do all the chores around the house and dickwad left $200 in his pocket when i was doing laundry and i found it. in my defense i tried to tell them about the money but then they got on my ass for talking to them while they were talking or something so i shut up and spent some of the money on a tattoo. it was the best revenge ever. I had been planning on getting one for months and dickwad and momster HATE tattoos and he technically paid for mine and it was great)

April: HOMAGAWD my life is looking up. I got a job, my "future" husband is visiting and the guy I'm kinda sorta "dating" is a good kisser but i swear to y'all if i hadn't already been on like 4 dates with this guy i would have thought he was catfishing me (he ends up ghosting me anyways so whatevesss). My momster and her dickwad of a boyfriend don't like my new job because it doesn't pay a whole lot? ( oh i forgot to mention they want me to pay rent for the "bedrooom" I'm sleeping in; y'all this room is literally a bed, a dresser drawer, and MY TV) ALSO did i mention this guy is total pack rat (THE BEDROOM IM IN HAS ALLLL OF HIS JUNK IN IT) and there's no central heating and I'm sick. I have bronchitis and we barely found out. meanwhile my supposed "mother" thought I was just being annoying with my coughing and her stupid boyfriend literally had the AUDACITY to tell me if I don't get rid of my cough by the end of the week then he was going to "do something about it". (LIKE IM SORRY I HAVE BRONCHITIS IF I COULD WAVE MY MAGIC WAND THAT I JUST RANDOMLY PULLED OUT OF MY ARSE AND MAKE MYSELF BETTER I WOULD SORRY MY ILLNESS IS INCONVENIENCING YOU). this man is weird he has like every book written by trump and is a civil war reenactor and has can goods from before I was even born because he doesn't believe in expiration dates. so I didn't want to find out what he meant by that so I booked the quickest doctors appointment I could get. I had been sick for 3 months by this point. also I paid over half the rent at my old place but I was always making like $1000 a month sooooo I could afford it. anyways my "future" husband and I have an amazing 3 days when he visits it was like no time had passed and it wasn't until he was gone that I realized that I couldn't live without him anymore.

May: ITS OFFICIAL BITCHES my "future" husband is now my boyfriend, it literally took him an hour for me to say he was my boyfriend. twas a struggle. but pretty much since the day he left we hadn't gone a single day without talking via text or calling each other. we thought about waiting until he came back to texas to date, but that would be two years and we weren't having that because we would have ended up waiting for each other instead of dating long distance which is kinda a waste of time. anyways I am no longer sick. at least I don't think and karma is just DOING ITS WORK on my mom and her dickwad boyfriend. My mom was being treated like she deserved by her new job and dickwad had lost his chief position because hes an alcoholic asshole with little man syndrome now he is paying over $10,000 for a DWI lawyer. meanwhile i was thriving I was getting more work I was looking into ways to pay off my school my life still sucked and the only reason im alive is because of my "future" husband.

June: did i ever mention that june is my favorite month of this year. love is in the air bitches. june is the month for marriages and engagements. SPEAKING OF ENGAGEMENTS yea that's right he proposed AND ON TOP OF THAT he surprised me with a visit and i nearly had a heart attack and it was a great few days. then my momster ruined it by being her and by hating me as per usual we weren't asking for permission at this point to get married we were just going to get married whether she agreed or not. and i was moving out and my "future" husband and i had a 101 plans (also i dont like the word fiance its dirty and gross) our 101 plans obviously fell through you can plan all day long and life is just like "LOL gurl you thought" but it all turned out fine in and in our favor in the end. we are very thankful for the people who stuck by our side when things were getting tough and sooo grateful for all their help we wouldn't have been able to do it without them.

JULY: ITS OUR WEDDDDINNNGGG MONNNTTTTHHHHHHH!!!!!! I had never thought "hey you're going to be my husband one day" when I saw my husband for the first time in the 2nd grade. he apparently did, he thought i was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and was happy i had moved to his town. that innocent love obviously turned into something more as we got older and he always knew that something special would happen with us there had to be a reason God had kept us close all those years. we were married july 10th in a court house with our high school friends my momster and her dickwad boyfriend and my new family that consisted of my husbands parents and siblings while my maid of honor watch via facetime (she had work and the ceremony lasted like 20 mins) leading up to our wedding he "proposed" properly on the couch while we were watching a movie and his best friend was so upset that he was not included in the proposal. we promised to include him on our 5 year anniversary at our vow renewal. we were married on the 10th we had our honeymoon that night in galveston. on the 11th we went to our best mans house, watched hoarders all morning, played ping pong, went to go see a movie with our old clique from high school, slept on a too small air mattress with a too small blanket in freezing cold room and woke up early. he dropped me off at my momsters and we said our teary eyed goodbyes and said we'd see each other again in december and I watched him drive away to the air port. I turned 20 the next week and I had 1 good day then on the 18th my mom decided to yell at me and fight me about money (remember how i said i was trying to pay off my college stuff well my mom knew that. it was no secret. well i found a way and i had gotten the money the week i got married and i paid it off and put the rest in savings and refused to touch it) well my mom yelled at me until she was blue in the face because since dickwad fucked up his finances with his DWI they were now strapped for cash and wanted me to pay for everything and I refused. just because we said I'd move in december doesn't mean plans are set in stone and if I would have paid them in advance I would have never seen that money again. the risks were to high for me to pay that much in one sitting. so we argued on the 18th she didn't talk to me for two days then on the 21st she gave me an ultimatum and told me to pay or get out. meanwhile my husband and I were thinking ahead and I was already packing and by the 22nd all i had in the bedroom i slept in was a duffel bag of clothes and hamper full of my bedding I told her i was moving out on the 23rd on a sunday and by the time they got home from church me and everything i had would be gone from that house. remember my husbands best man and best friend and the small air mattress and cold bedroom?

August: they both had a house together and that was the house i stayed in until the second week or two of august i spent almost a week with my dad and his family so i could say my goodbyes. i came back to the guys house for 2 days finished packing said my goodbyes to all my friends and then my dad was there with a jeep for all my stuff and we would start our long trip to VA. the first day we drove from TX to atlanta then the next day atlanta to VA.

I was finally home. there he was my knight in blue digital camo. we'd only been married a month and already our plans were askew. my dad stayed for 2 extra days and helped us get settled into our new apartment then left.

september: we are 2 months into our marriage and our first month living together. these next two months will be the hardest months in our marriage. we're getting used to each other getting to know our homelife quirks it is a difficult transition for both of us I am used to an abusive passive aggressive household where i lock myself in my room and he is used to empty barracks and going out everyday just so he doesn't have to be in the barracks all day. it was hard but we wouldn't want to bicker over mundane things with anyone else.

October: its spoopy time and my husbands birthday is this month we have a tv and new bed for our master bedroom we have a cat but Im pretty sure we got him in september. we're not really fighting as much at least not about stupid things we know what pushes our buttons and we're communicating better. I have to turn down my first job because its too far of a drive. ( we immediately regret it) the hubs 21st birthday rolls around we have the worst mexican food ever and he has the strongest margarita in the world it was really a great night. Halloween we sit on the couch watching movies and just stay in all day.

November: my husbands family have informed us that his little brother will be graduating from boot camp this month and will be going to school on a base in VA and that they were coming for thanksgiving. so we get the house in order for our new guests. we buy everything from a thanksgiving ham to new towels when they arrive his parents are sick with the flu and my husband still has work the next day on thanksgiving. his mom and i spend the entire next day cooking and getting everything ready. when my husband gets home we have dinner and watch a movie or two. the next day is my husbands day off and we all had planned on eating out so we had lunch then went to the beach for his mom and then my husbands base to give a tour for his mom (insert eyeroll here the woman takes pictures of quite literally everything its almost annoying)and then finally we go back home so we can get his little brothers stuff and we can drop him off at his new base. (which is a whole lot more difficult then it should have been.) they end up giving him a weekend pass but by then we're all dead tired and want to go home but no, we go bowling on base until its time to take his little brother back to the barracks. then the next day is even more annoying my husband picks up his little brother and some breakfast and we trudge to a museum of an old ship for about 2 or 3 hours. keep in mind my husbands parents are still sick with the flu and everyone is tired except his little brother and my husband has work at 3am the next day. on top of that his parents need to get on a plane this same day and my husband and i need to drop off his little brother back on base. needless to say it was another long day and we finally had our house back my poor husband had work at 3am and around 9am i hear him come home apparently since he didn't leave early on thanksgiving he got to leave work early that day which meant we got the entire sunday to ourselves. it was a long weekend.

December: its only the 13th and we have been married for 5 months now and it will almost be a year since we started dating. (how time flies) his best man is supposed to visit in january and we are both so excited.

so much little stuff has happened this year that would make this post even longer. we got a motorcycle, my husband is trying to pick out a car for me i thought about doing online college, we both haven't really thought about what we want for christmas and our cat has fleas so its been a very eventful year.