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zersk · 9 months

Note

I’m sure you’ve gotten enough questions about the vaspider post but I have to ask cause I genuinely don’t get it… what was racist about saying that Palestinians don’t like Hamas? I mean I get it’s probably wrong, but I don’t understand how it’s racist.

I’m taking a stab here but does it seem to suggest Palestinians care more about Hamas than Israel? But can’t they dislike both?

I'm going to respond assuming this is in good faith, but first of all it's important to note that I didn't say racist specifically, rather that it's anti-Palestinian rhetoric. That feels like a very abstract distinction but it feels important to note as it's a bad idea to think in terms of American racial structures here (which the term racism I think, unfortunately, tends to bring up in people's minds lol).

It's anti-Palestinian for a few reasons, and whether or not Palestinians ACTUALLY support Hamas is only a part of that. I said that it's rhetoric the IDF is using to justify the war they're waging on the Palestinian people. Which is true! These past three months have made it incredibly clear to anyone paying attention that Israel has very little hope of actually destroying Hamas whatsoever, rather they're more focused on slaughtering civilians. In claiming that "Palestinians don't actually like Hamas", whether or not that's TRUE, the actual point of claiming such is to justify the war. It's to go "ah see, Palestinians are actually held hostage by Hamas, and by eradicating the militant organization we are actually saving them." And then they get financial support to go in and continue doing the horrible atrocities they wanted to do.

This should sound insane to anyone with half a brain, but it is the framing that the United States seems to be using to support Israel's actions. Biden, Blinken, whoever else keeps claiming that they want Israel to protect civilians more, and to work towards giving the Palestinian Authority control in the region, under the pretense that that's what's best for people in Gaza.

Israel doesn't care! Nobody in the war cabinet, nobody in the military, and large portions of civil society want the Palestinians dead. Some of them want to forcibly resettle Gaza after killing and shoving out the remaining Gazans. The pretense that Palestinians don't like Hamas themself is just a useful tool to this end. It's an argument that doesn't actually give a shit about Palestinians.

Now I should point out of course, that there was a video attached (I didn't screencap it because. One why would I screencap a video lmao. Two I didn't expect anyone to reblog the original post, like I'm kind of a nobody in tumblr terms lol), but with very little context for WHEN the video was filmed, WHERE it was filmed, and even if the language being used in the video WAS accurately translated. Other people on the post have done a more thorough deep dive than I'm willing to do here, but I should point out that even if it is real, and there's no trickery going on in the information… In the past three months it's definitely not the case anymore. In the time since, support for Hamas and the Al-Qassam Brigades has risen sharply, and the vast majority of Palestinians in both Gaza and the West Bank(!) have supported Hamas's role in this fight. Clearly they have the people behind them.

That isn't to say that any criticism of them within Palestine is illegitimate or a false flag operation of course, but like I said, it's definitely to the benefit of the western and Israeli media to portray this criticism as "Hamas needs to be dismantled, please Israelis come save us". This is an unnuanced view of things, and criticism of Hamas could range from being unhappy with their interaction with civil society, other glaring issues, or even that they're not fighting Israel enough. None of this would justify the Israeli response, nor is it meant to. The fact that other militant groups in Gaza are in support of Hamas in this war (including groups such as the PFLP) however, should be telling to you.

While I'm not saying Hamas is perfect, the framing that "Palestinians can dislike both, can't they?" is utterly removed from the reality on the ground in Gaza, where the Palestinian Resistance is proving itself the only people actually fighting to protect Gaza from utter destruction. Not the US, not the European powers, certainly not Israel, and not any of the surrounding Arab states. The fact that Hezbollah, the Houthis, and recently the Islamic Resistance in Iraq are the only groups actually in any way fighting alongside Palestine should be, if anything, evidence of how deeply ashamed everyone else should be for their inaction.

(I'd also suggest actually looking into the history of Hamas in Gaza, and why they may have been able to keep the public's support for this long. Sources that don't treat the Palestinians as hapless bystanders completely powerless in their own fate, or that the entire organization was secretly an Israeli plant and nothing more, which is the common liberal zionist intonation I've seen).

Point is, it's anti-Palestinian rhetoric because it denies any actual agency to Palestinians, or acknowledges what Palestinians are saying, and it's anti-Palestinian rhetoric because the REASON PEOPLE ARE SAYING IT, rather than the actual nature of the content, is to convince everyone else that this invasion is necessary. I feel like people struggle to understand that information, even when true, often has a motive as to why its being shared. And that motivation can be pretty insidious when scrutinized.

(I'm not citing any sources to this answer, treat this as a learning exercise and go read what actual Palestinians have been saying, try to backtrack the information I've claimed, and scrutinize everything I've said on your own terms. Consider who's posting the information, and where, and think about what they might have to gain from sharing it. Everyone has ulterior motives, but ulterior motives aren't innately bad, especially when it's from someone being eradicated by an occupying force. Also, learning to parse information like this is healthier for you than if I tagged links to websites you weren't ever going to read lmao)

(Seriously though Palestinians have been posting and sharing and writing and recording things non-stop for the last three months please just. Go see what they've been saying, it matters more than I do, and it definitely matters more than what scumbag liberal zionists like vaspider or hindahoney do.)

#palestine #zionism #israel

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lookingfornoonat2pm · 3 months

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Ecstasy and Epilepsis

From the E Conze translation of the Heart Sutra.

"Therefore, O Sariputra,

in emptiness there is no form nor feeling, nor perception, nor impulse, nor consciousness ;

No eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, mind ; No forms, sounds, smells, tastes, touchables or objects of mind ; No sight-organ element, and so forth, until we come to :

No mind-consciousness element ; There is no ignorance, no extinction of ignorance, and so forth, until we come to : There is no decay and death, no extinction of decay and death. There is no suffering, no origination, no stopping, no path.

There is no cognition, no attainment and no non-attainment."

From "Raving" by McKenzie Wark

"I was texting my friend Eva Hayward about it all morning. 1 don't know if some of these lines are hers or mine. A good conversation is also a rave that way, the blending, edgeless dance. It goes and then stops.

Problem with being human these days is that our subjectivity never adds up. The subject is always split, always divided, feels it lacks. You can spend years in therapy working through that. Or become a raver. Get out of your head, merge into k-time. Take some hard lefts. Drives go off in at least three directions: ravespace, xeno-euphoria, enlustment.

Maybe there's still more kinds of dissociation one can prac-tice. Practice, like an art. Maybe dissociation could be its own aesthetic category.' Not specifically a trans thing but something at which we're virtuosos."(p.48)

"From the autofictional writing of perceptions, then, to an autotheoretical writing of concepts. But with the general proviso that the auto that writes doesn't add up. It will be a mix, some part auto and some part allo, other, and more interestingly, part xeno-invitingly strange: xeno-flesh. Just fluctuating bundles of feelings and thoughts. And with the rave-situational proviso that what the auto needs most of all is moments when it can dissipate itself, not be there, pare down to a moving part or floating notion."(p.50)

I'm in Koyasan, Wakayama, Japan, reading the sutras sacred to Shingon alongside "Raving" by McKenzie Wark, a book about raves, bodies, and ketamine. Reminds me of reading Dada along with Rumi, some 14 years ago. Radically different routes to administer analogous wisdoms.

The thing with me and with epilepsy and with control is this: Almost every route "out of my head" requires crossing the feelings of dissociation I most closely associate with my seizure aura. It is almost impossible to find a way to "let go" that doesn't feel like I am about to just die. This isn't that special or specific to epileptics, I'm sure (in fact, I'm not sure how many epileptics actually experience the kind of dissociative experience I do as part of their auras). Either way, by 2024, it is practically mundane to mention that letting go, and "embracing life" or whatever requires crossing an abyss of some kind.

I was joking recently that, sooner or later, I will make the switch that so many cis men in the BDSM world do: domination becomes finally boring and completely redundant, so submission is the last and most important taboo to violate... there are other formulations of it, but the index of pleasure and control is the abstraction that resonates most with me (thanks, Wark). But I'm not sure if it isn't just a joke. I can understand the boredom, but I don't know if I will ever, ever, ever, ever overcome the terror that is entailed in letting go. Even framing it that way feels too cis, too masculine. I can't say seriously that I expect to ever trust a person enough to think that that loss of control will not result in death--irrational or not, I can't ignore this bodily wisdom.

On the way to Koyasan, I met a couple of German backpackers who were looking for the best vegan food Japan has to offer. When I said I planned to stay almost a week, "Wolfy" said, "Going to find yourself?" And I said, "Something like that." It might be more accurate to say I'm trying to lose myself.

I don't much care for ketamine, and nitrous oxide is fine, but mostly pretty much more addicting than it is transcending. Cannabis has helped me dissociate time and again, but it feels more proper to say that it helps me associate strictly: associate strictly with pleasure, associate strictly with the moment I'm in, or associate narrowly with the movie or video game or rock show I'm enjoying. Paranoia settles in too easily, though, so it's far from a reliable route.

I continue to flirt with Buddhism, and with esoteric and ecstatic traditions (NOT to be confused with one another), mainly because of its promise of nothingness. I come back to Vajrayana again and again because of the promise that compassion--an experience I only barely ever get out of, mainly temporarily, through sadism--will bring me unity with everything. The ecstatics promise a machinic dance upon which you can trust a safe return to presence. The esoterics promise instantaneous transformation of consciousness, without having to cross the abyss.

The vegan food is pretty fucking good here.

#lookingfornoonat2pm #prose #disability sex #esotericism #ecstatic dance #epilepsy

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altraviolet · 2 years

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Haha sooooooo, I may have stayed up til 5 am finishing the rest of the fic…….. And then I had a dream about what happened next. The fic was so good!!!! The way you write Soundwave’s progress is just incredible, it makes sense. It isn’t necessarily linear, and he is trying, but he still has habits he needs to break, still struggles with quite a few things. And he’s come so far but it’s so so hard to see your own progress when you are first starting the process of healing. I think the next parts will have some set backs for him, but I’m excited to see how he overcomes them. I Heckin love angst and hurt/comfort, and I know that every chapter will be well worth any wait. Stories about healing always have me in a chokehold, and your writing is just so excellent. I’ll probably re-read so I can appreciate more of the details, as this first time I may have missed them due to being so focused on what happens next.

Oooh wow! I wonder what happened in your dream 👀 And thanks for the kind words! It's a slow, slow burn [actually more like a really reeeeeeeeeeally long fuse] but that is what TFP Soundwave needs UuU

So you're all caught up, good, good... I apologize in advance for having no upload schedule :'D My irl job is really stressful and I get writers block easily, so sometimes updates take a while.

Anyhoo, spoilers for The Echo Garden up to now (Ch 37) beneath the cut!

To answer your initial ask, gonna do a quick roundup of some seemingly random things:

1) I'm really delighted that in your previous ask you mentioned "So glyphs for Spark, denoting not just life, existence itself..." because that tells me that as far back as Ch 24, readers were getting the idea I'm trying to get across. Yay!

2) in Ch 37 we learn more about Soundwave's power. Kind of in oblique, scientific terms [which should get expanded on in the next chapter]. Relevant parts:

“Soundwave, it turns out, is an outlier,” said Brainstorm gleefully. “The strangest, but perhaps most powerful ability we've ever encountered.”

...

“He can detect and reproduce subatomic energies,” said Brainstorm. “Fundamental characteristics of the universe. No, of reality! The essence of matter distilled into sound.”

...

“We mean innate properties of matter. Intrinsic properties. Properties that define reality itself.”

3) Sort of an aside: I don't remember where in the fic this is, but Soundwave says at one point, "sparks are Soundwave without crystal."

4) Soundwave can only do his outlier power stuff with crystals and mechs' spark energy. I haven't gone into why [it hasn't really been relevant to the story] but I can tell you from a narrative/story construction point of view, this is a deliberate limit I put on him.

So! Soundwave calls himself "Soundwave" because there isn't a word for what he does. What he does is manipulate energy at a very, very fundamental level of, basically, existence. He can copy it, translate it, and generate an 'anti-soundwave' wave to destroy it [or at least, he could in the past]. Characters who can manipulate forces at a fundamental level can get wayyyy too overpowered really quickly, hence the limits mentioned in point 4. To Soundwave, sparks and emotions and databases and ship/frame/whatever data are all kinds of information, which can be organized and moved around. The emotions/crystals stuff purposefully parallels his canonical abilities/strengths that we see: working on decoding the Iacon archive, hacking, data manipulation, etc.

"Sparkpulse" is a really poetic and lovely expression for what Soundwave is and can do. It's not quite the entire picture but it's absolutely an appropriate invention given what the fic says =D

I don't see Soundwave as a character who's into the poetic [though I guess you could make the argument that "Soundwave" itself might be]. For him, the most accurate name would be something like Fundamental-Information Manipulator. Which is, as you noted about the English language, extremely limited and quite lol. I like the use of "Manipulator" as opposed to something more neutral like "Operator," as Soundwave always has his own goals he works towards.

That said, now I want to think about this a bit and see if there's something less clunky, but still illustrative of his ability 🤔

I hope this answered your ask! Happy to expound on anything if you'd like. Thanks again for the kind messages =)

#ask #ohnebulaprimus #echo garden related #soundwave #fundamental-information manipulator #xD

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aquariaries · 2 years

Text

Reiji Sakamaki 05 - Chaos Lineage + CG

***I do not mind if you use my translations as a base for another language, I just ask that you credit me if you do!***

PLACE: Scarlet Mansion Reiji's Room

Reiji: (... ... The other day, I made an unthinkable blunder.)

(I'm the eldest of the family, and yet I feel as if I'm not in a good position to lead everyone ... ...)

(Even so ... ... I wonder just what was that scene I saw when I had that dizzy spell.)

*Flashes to a faded and blurry background of Reiji's room from the Sakamaki Mansion*

(Eve smiles at me friendly ... ... And with just that, a warm feeling spreads in my chest.)

*End flashback*

Reiji: ( ... ... I've never seen Eve smile like that. Then, just where have I --)

No way, have we met somewhere before ... ...?

(No, that's absurd. Maybe it's because I'm tired, but only these repetitive words and thoughts can come to mind.)

(I have to keep it together. Because I'm the one who leads this household after all ... ...)

————————————

Yui's Monologue:

It's been a few days since the fight with Violet.

Just to be sure, I had strengthened my vigilance, but it seems that Carla-san and the others haven't moved since then.

Even so, I've spent days unable to sleep because of the premonition of a battle that could come at any time.

————————————

PLACE: Scarlet Mansion Kitchen

Yui: Haah ... ... My body is all warm ... ...

(As expected, hot tea is so soothing.)

(But, the nightmares will not go away. I still can't seem to sleep today ... ...)

*Reiji appears*

Reiji: So it's you again.

Yui: Reiji-san ... ... You were still awake.

Reiji: Yes ... ... However, I thought I told you as well to get some rest.

Yui: That's true but ... ... I couldn't sleep for quite a while, so I was wondering about what to drink.

If you'd like, would you like to have some tea with me?

Reiji: No thank you. You don't need to worry. I felt someone's presence and just decided to stop by for a moment.

Yui: Is that so ... ...

Lately, you've been skipping scoutings and writing things on papers ... ... You haven't been resting, have you?

Reiji: That's because the situation is always changing. I don't have any time to rest.

Yui: But aren't you working a little too hard? If you keep on going like this don't you think you'll ... ...

Reiji: It's not something you should be involved in. Your advice isn't necessary.

Yui: ... ... I understand.

(Even more so than before, the atmosphere around Reiji-san became intense.)

(Collecting all kinds of information, making various assumptions, and giving instructions to everyone.)

(That's all because he feels responsible over last time's defeat ... ...)

Reiji: Well then, I'll be going back.

I have to keep making and preparings maps.

Yui: Maps?

Reiji: There are no maps in this land that we live in.

Accurately grasping the terrain and position is an important factor in devising a strategy.

That is why I use my familiars to collect information and draw the topography.

Yui: So you've been doing all of that?

Selection:

————————————

-> Sounds like fun ♟

Yui: Making a map yourself sounds like fun.

Reiji: It's not all fun and games. You must be out of your mind to say that.

Yui: I-I'm sorry ... ...

————————————

-> Seems hard ♙♡

Yui: That seems hard. To draw from nothing ... ...

Reiji: Yes, but I'm sure it will come in handy in the future. For that reason, I will spare no effort.

Yui: (Spare no effort, huh. That's very like Reiji-san.)

————————————

Yui: (However, constantly staring at a map all by yourself is surely very tiring ... ...)

Uhm, would you like any help with the map making?

Reiji: You don't possibly think you'd be able to draw accurate location information do you?

Yui: In that case, I'll brew tea.

Or even anything like organizing documents, could I help with that?

Reiji: ... ... Very well. If you'd go this far to say so, then I'll be leaving those chores up to you.

Yui: Really? Thank you very much!

Reiji: ... ... !

Yui: Is something the matter?

Reiji: No ... ... It's the first time since coming here that you've smiled ... ...

Yui: Oh really?

(Now that he mentions it, I haven't really had anything to be happy enough to smile about.)

(I was a little nervous when we drank tea and cleaned together before ... ...)

Reiji: Even though it should be the first time, why does it overlap with that scene ... ...

... ... There is a question that I would like to ask you but, have I met you before?

Yui: Eh?

Reiji: No ... ... That would be impossible. You were asleep for a long time inside that church.

Yui: Is ... ... that so.

Reiji: I've said things that I would have preferred not to. Let's return to the bedroom. Let's go.

Yui: Ah, yes!

(As I thought, are Reiji-san's memories slowly starting to return ... ... ?)

(What should I do, this is so frustrating. Would I be able to talk to him about the Samaki family like before?)

(Or is doing nothing better to avoid him from suffering any further?

... ... I have no idea ... ...)

PLACE: Scarlet Mansion Reiji's Room

*Sound of a teaset/teacup being set down*

Yui: Here you are, Reiji-san.

Reiji: Thank you very much.

I was worried about you breaking the tea utensils though ... ...

This is brewed very well. Both the scent and the water color are good. The taste ... ... Isn't bad either.

Yui: Thank goodness, thank you very much.

Reiji: However, this exquisite astringency and temperature.

It's as if you know what I like.

I think it's a coincidence, but it seems that you and I have similar tastes only when it comes to tea.

Yui: T-thank you very much.

(It's sad that it's only tea ... ... but it can't be helped because I'm failing at cleaning ... ...)

(Reiji-san's tastes naturally came to me. I'm so glad we got to have lots of tea together.)

Reiji: I hope this will help me make some progress on the map.

Yui: So this is the map. In the middle of it is this mansion right?

Reiji: Yes, centered here, Orange and Violet are located in this position.

Yui: What is this mark?

Reiji: It is the church. It is in a position where the three mansions surround it.

Yui: I see ... ...

(When I look at it like this, I feel like I finally understand where they are all coming from.)

(Ah ... ... ! Once this map is completed, we'd know how to get out of this strange land, wouldn't we?)

Reiji: You sure look happy.

Yui: N-no, it's nothing at all. Besides that, just how do you make these anyway?

Reiji: With the familiar's movement, distance and direction. Based on that, we measure it several times to identify the location.

The large amount of documents here are measured information.

Yui: Eeehh, all of these!?

(To look into all of that and put it together ... ... It's a tremendous effort for sure.)

(Research and investigation are Reiji-san's specialties, but ... ... As I thought, he works too much.)

Reiji: What's the matter, you're making a sour face.

Yui: After all, isn't this all a bit too much? I think it's a good idea that you take a little rest ... ...

Reiji: I do not have time for that.

Where and when will there be attacks from other families ... ...

I am doing everything possible to prepare.

Yui: But if Reiji-san collapses, it will be disastrous.

Reiji: You're someone who doesn't listen. Even though I've told you that you don't need to worry.

If you're going to go that far, why don't you cooperate with me?

... ... With your blood.

Yui: Eh ... ... ?

Reiji: Blood is the staple food of vampires. If it's as good as yours, it will be good food.

If you're worried about me, wouldn't it be as easy as to just offer me your blood?

Yui: Th-that's ... ...

Reiji: Be clear with your answer.

Or is it impossible to judge without doing this?

*He moves closer and pulls her in*

Yui: ... ... Kyaa!

(Reiji-san's fangs, they're right on the nape of my neck ... ... !)

Reiji: ... ... You're trembling. As I thought, you're still afraid to have your blood sucked aren't you?

If you don't have that level of preparedness, you don't need to intervene any further.

Yui: ... ... If it's about being prepared ... ... I am.

Reiji: Oh, then it's okay to stick my fangs in here right now?

Yui: Yes ... ... I do not mind as long as it's Reiji-san sucking my blood.

Reiji: ... ... !

Yui: (I'm not afraid to have my blood sucked. If this makes Reiji-san feel better, I do not mind.)

In exchange, please make sure to give your body the rest it needs.

Proper rest is important, not just meals. Even if you're a vampire.

Reiji: Eve ... ...

... ... I always thought you'd run away, but I was wrong.

*He backs away and lets her go*

Yui: (Ah ... ... He let go of me.)

Reiji: Rest without overdoing it, huh.

That's very like you. To be able to say something like that to me.

Yui: I'm sorry ... ... I know it's intrusive of me but ... ...

Reiji: I do not need an apology. It's not as if I'm feeling uncomfortable or anything.

When I look at you like this, I feel like you're a different person compared to the day that I had sucked your blood for the first time.

Even thought at that time, you were trembling in fear.

You don't seem to be afraid of me now. Do you not feel any fear?

Yui: Right now, I'm totally fine.

There's nothing for me to be afraid of.

(Now that I've regained my memories, there's no reason to fear Reiji-san.)

(I love you, and you're my one and only precious existence.)

Reiji: Such straightforward eyes ... ... It does not look as if you are lying.

... ... With that being said, I wonder why. There is a part of me that cannot sincerely accept your words .

I even feel as if something will break if I accept that feeling.

Yui: Ah ... ...

(My feelings ... ... When I remember that Reiji-san and I are lovers ... ...)

(I will deny the current Reiji-san's memories. I will do everything I can to have him become overlord.)

*Reiji comes closer and holds her again*

Yui: Kyah ... ... !?

*CG*

Yui: Wh-what happened?

Reiji: Right now, please do not turn this way. When I meet your gaze, I almost feel as if I'll lose sight of myself.

My experience, my knowledge, my existence. Everything seems to be shaken ... ...

Yui: ( ... ... If he ends up regaining his memories, he'll end up finding out that the current Reiji-san's memories are fake.)

(Even though I'm extremely desperate for them to return ... ... I don't want to be cruel like that.)

————————————

[Two roses appear on screen with extra dialogue]

*** Rose on Reiji's head ***

Something is wrong. It's as if I can't even control myself.

*** Rose on Reiji's hand ***

Are you concerned about our fingers being intertwined? But, you are the one making me do this.

————————————

Reiji: It's funny, isn't it? To think that you're still in my arms without going on a rampage.

It's no joke, it really is okay that I take blood from you. Nn ... ... *kiss*

Yui: Ah ... ... !?

(On the nape of my neck ... ...

However, it's different than usual. It's a very gentle feeling ... ...)

Yui: Um ... ... My blood, please drink it. I want my blood sucked by Reiji-san ... ...

Reiji: That way of inviting, just where did you learn it from? How shameless ... ...

Reiji: However, very well. Right now, I just want to drown myself in your blood. *bites*

... ... Nnnnn ... ... Nn ... ...

Yui: Nnn ... ... Aaah ... ...

(As expected it's very gentle ... ...

It's as if I'm melting ... ...)

Reiji: The tea you brewed was also delicious but ... ... this is an even more dangerous taste.

The more I put it in my mouth, the richer it becomes. I can't seem to take it out ... ...

Hah, *bites* Nnn ... ... Nnnn ... ...

Yui: (It's because I'm losing my strength, I guess. Somehow, I feel very relieved ... ...)

Reiji: Haah ... ... , Just why is it that your blood ... ... tends to drive me this crazy ... ...

Yui: Haa ... ... Reiji-san ... ...

Reiji: I know. If I drink your blood, then I should rest, right?

Now ... ... just for now, I will listen to your words.

Yui: ... ... Thank goodness ... ...

(If Reiji-san can rest even a little bit, I wonder if his tiredness will go away ... ...)

*CG END*

*Loud ringing noise*

Reiji: Agh ... ... As I thought, it came again ... ...

Yui: Eh ... ... ?

(Again, is it that dizziness?)

Reiji: First let me tell you this ... ...

Worrying about me is ... ... Useless.

Yui: Did you get dizzy again?

Reiji: Yes ... ... For some reason it seems to happen when I drink your blood. More so --

At that time, a mysterious sight crosses my mind.

Yui: Eh? A sight you say ... ... ?

Reiji: I do not know. It's just, not here ... ... It's just a mansion somewhere.

Yui: (Is it by any chance, the Sakamaki household? As I thought, this dizziness is the effect of his memories returning ... ...)

(My blood is what has been triggering his memories to return ... ...)

(If he continues to suck my blood like this, then someday they will completely -- But ... ...)

————————————

Yui's Monologue:

As Scarlet's eldest son, Reiji-san feels more responsible than anyone else and continues to work hard.

If he regains his memory, he will destroy it all.

I don't want to hurt someone important to me. But, I want him to remember.

The swaying of my consciousness slowly drifted off into a dream, perhaps it was because he had sucked my blood -- .

————————————

-END-

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #reiji sakamaki #chaos lineage #diabolik lovers translation #yui komori

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gothcoffeethemperor · 2 years

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Witchy Thoughts

Now that I've gotten most of the things I've been wanting to snag for starting my craft, I need to settle in and. You know. Actually do it. <.< So! I figured both to organize my brain and make myself accountable, I'll write down my To-Do list here. - Finish writing down basic info on tarot cards in my grimoire. - Cleanse house with sound bowl. - Cleanse crystals and tarot deck with sound bowl. (Missed the New Moon, alas) - Charge crystals, pendulums, and tarot deck (and dream catcher?) by the Full Moon (Oct. 9-- don't forget!) - Wash large jug for moon water to keep in fridge (and use in coffee/tea/etc) - Test more tarot spreads! Make LOTS OF NOTES!!! - Identify my new crystals! On a different note: I'm currently having mixed thoughts as to what god/goddess is calling to me in my own practices. I had a pretty clear sign in a dream that I should follow Jesus, and yet... I keep seeing things like 'Find Your Diety' and 'Which God is Calling to You', and admittedly? I'm a bit curious. Apparently there are spreads that can help you find that out, and there's a small gnawing sensation that says that I should do it, just to see what it says. Am I just being tempted? I honestly don't know. On a different-different note: I keep thinking of the Moon as Mother Moon, like one calls another kin, and not so much as the Wiccan goddess... Is that weird? It feels weird, yet strangely accurate. On a different-different-different note: I've been on the fence on if I want to try working with archangels or not. I've decided that for me, working with a guardian angel or any Saints just doesn't feel right for my Craft. And while I do believe in elemental forces... I don't know if I subscribe to the idea of archangels being in charge of them? Because, I mean, archangels weren't really a thing in the original bible/Torah, or any of the earliest translations. So it doesn't really like... click in my brain the way other things have? I dunno, I'd love to hear other people's experiences with it!

#witchcraft #christopagan #witchblr #witchlife #witchythings #christian witch #angels #archangels

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jjk-theories · 2 months

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Ig the goal here is to run through my main blog @hermitw to find my personal theories, and those I've read from other people that shape the way I interpret JJK, to organize them into masterlists and sort by whether I would die on that hill or if it's just as thought.

I've had so many theories but they kinda build on each other and sound insane out of context, so this is an attempt to be organized and more easily link to sources, etc.

My credentials are:

I've been through JJK 12 times (only on my third full manga read to be fair, and have yet to read the light novels). I love JJK because every time I notice different things, foreshadowing, connections etc, but this also means that I see things leaning more on different characters' perspectives each time.

Turning 25 has cursed me with media literacy (honestly it's so different to watch movies etc. now compared to previous years, idk how much is related to brain development but all I can say is that I have more awareness now than in the past. Like I can see the forest from the trees better.)

Super autism (jujutsu kaisen has been my hyperfixation/special interest since last year. Ik it isn't that long, I was rly trying to wait until it was completed bc I generally hate waiting between episodes but at this point I fiend for manga leaks), noticing patterns and just. Thinking about this all the time.

I also try to consume several translations, to get a fuller understanding.

Tbh I started out as an anime-only, but kept asking my friends too many questions (so I could write canon divergent fics where redemption arcs happen lmao, but I needed it to be Lore Accurate) and they couldn't answer without giving spoilers.

I think it took 5 watches for me for feel like I understood JJK - in that time I looked up to whatever analysis or theories I could find, but over time began to realize that a lot of them don't hold up. At this point I get rly excited when someone thinks more than me, shares their deeper understanding, especially when it relates to cultural or historical elements that I missed before.

So I'll try to sort things out by whether they're hills that I would die on, or how serious they are, and providing context for whatever might come across as rage bait or polarizing on its own.

Idk though I'm not great with being organized online hahaha

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russicnroses · 3 months

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RUSSIAN ROSE | VOLUME TWO | PART 2

CHAPTER ONE: [N/A]

PAGES: 26 - 57

TRANSLATION TOOL: Chatgpt

CONTENT / WARNINGS: long post, blood, death mention.

"The Church of Blood was attacked by a monster."

Saya hugged her shoulders. She noticed that her wounds had already healed, and her expression darkened further. Letting Diva escape was her fault. But—she herself was seen as the same kind of monster.

Despite being the same Chiropteran, her blood was the greatest weapon against them. It was said that the only other way to kill them was to burn them with an enormous amount of heat. However, no weapon capable of instantly incinerating a Chiropteran had been developed, so the Red Shield organization had to rely on Saya's blood.

Of course, Saya intended to use it. It was the only way she could atone for her actions.

"But...the contradiction always weighs on my chest."

She clenched her hand tightly, and Haji placed his hand gently over hers.

Saya looked up. Haji, kneeling, looked up at her straight.

"There's no point in brooding over it. There will be another opportunity."

With a stern expression, Saya nodded at his words. "Yeah..."

There was no point in regretting. They had to get results.

Then Saya finally looked around. She noticed the room was different from where she had been before.

The white canopy over the bed was adorned with blue flowers. The walls also had blue floral patterns on a white background, giving the room a gentle impression, unlike her previous room.

A white marble fireplace burned brightly. Since Haji was there, it was likely a property of the Red Shield.

As Saya stood up, Haji, who had been heading towards the table, noticed her confused look and turned to speak.

"You've been asleep for two days, so we moved to a mansion in the suburbs during that time. ...Saya."

When he called her name softly in a low voice, Saya immediately understood why. Her dormant senses awakened, and her skin prickled.

Just as it had happened before, her body involuntarily craved it, despite her will.

(—But,)

A voice echoed in her mind.

("The Church of Blood was attacked by a monster.")

"I don't need blood."

Before she realized it, Saya had said those words.

"…It's something you need right now."

Haji responded calmly without hesitation. He was always like that. He never forced her, but he only spoke of what was necessary.

(I understand that. But...)

Saya forced a smile and tried to sound cheerful.

"I feel better than last time. So, I'll be fine."

"Forgive me, but it doesn't appear that way to me."

(Ugh...)

Again, Haji's calm words left Saya at a loss for words. She raised her chin defiantly and said,

"I know myself best. I'm Haji's master, so I'm stronger than Haji."

Her words, meant to reassure herself, came out in a strong tone reminiscent of when she was in the zoo. She expected Haji to back down easily, but his voice took on an unusually accusatory tone.

"Is strength something that needs to be constantly flaunted to feel secure?"

Saya was taken aback by his rare tone. She raised her well-shaped eyebrows in surprise.

"Anyway, I don't need blood right now."

“Saya,” Haji called softly, his voice as gentle as ever. But Saya couldn’t stop the words from spilling out.

“I don’t need it. I can handle everything myself, so don’t help me, Haji.” She knew she was taking out her frustration on him for letting another Chiropteran escape, but she couldn’t control herself. “This is an order.”

It was too late by the time she regretted it. The tension in the air made her chest hurt.

Haji silently turned his back and began setting the table, preparing the dishes and tea utensils. Saya watched his back, clutching her blanket tightly. She felt terribly awkward. Her normally sharp, confident brows drooped in dismay.

She had given him an order. Back when she lived in the zoo, giving orders to people felt natural. More accurately, she didn’t even understand what giving orders meant. After she began feeling the frustration of wanting to leave, she often issued unreasonable demands. Both Haji and Joel would gently admonish her but would ultimately indulge her with a smile.

But things were different now. She was no longer that ignorant child.

Lost in thought, Saya felt Haji’s hand gently touch her shoulder. His hand rested on her shoulder blade, supporting her delicate back. Though it was a familiar gesture, it made Saya feel uneasy after her earlier outburst.

A warm, sweet scent tickled her nose. She saw a cup being offered to her, a mug with handles on both sides.

“It’s apple kisel, a thickened apple drink. Since you just woke up, something like this would be good for you.”

Encouraged gently, Saya realized for the first time how tense she had been. She took the wooden spoon, beautifully decorated with vivid patterns, and brought the thickened drink to her lips. The tension melted away as she savored it.

Saya smiled, forgetting the earlier awkwardness. It was the first natural expression since she woke up. “Delicious…”

The simple sweetness of boiled apples and sugar, thickened slightly, seeped through her newly awakened body.

When she finished, her stomach growled loudly.

Embarrassed by the attention, Saya blushed and tried to explain, but her stomach wouldn’t quiet down. Haji smiled faintly and served her a bowl of soup.

Saya accepted it without thinking, then suddenly remembered her previous words. She had told him not to help her.

“I can do it myself. I really want to handle things on my own. Haji, you should take some time to rest and do something for yourself.”

“I already spend plenty of time on myself,” Haji replied calmly. Saya could sense his concern, and she insisted further.

“I don’t want to burden you anymore. I don’t want to take up any more of your time.”

For a brief moment, Haji’s expression seemed as if he wanted to say something, but he remained silent and lowered his gaze.

“…I understand.”

Haji quietly left the room. Saya looked down at the soup. It was a hearty meal with a dough skin filled with minced meat.

“Thank you for the meal.”

Following her appetite, Saya ate the soup quickly. The plate was soon empty, so she got up for a second helping. The blue and gold-painted Khokhloma pot on the wagon Haji had brought still held plenty of soup, along with a heap of blini.

Saya’s body requires a lot of energy, especially when she doesn't drink blood. She needs a large amount of food. Haji is always well-prepared—Saya thought as she paused for a moment.

This large amount of soup…

(Haji prepared this especially because I hesitated to take his blood before.)

(I'll eat it all.)

Saya gripped her spoon tightly. Just as the pot was emptied, there was a knock on the door. If it were Haji, he would have called out.

Suspicious, Saya opened the door.

"—Everyone?"

There stood Valery, Rodion, Kirill, and Eduardo. Tension ran through Saya. It was her first time meeting the group since that night. Moreover, she had let another Chiropteran escape.

"May we come in for a report?" Valery said without making eye contact. He wanted a report on that night. It was only natural. Saya had no right to refuse.

"Yes..."

Saya invited the four into the room. She hurriedly pushed the dishes aside on the table and took a seat. The members each sat down, except for Rodion, who leaned against the fireplace.

The heavy atmosphere reminded Saya of her first day in Russia.

Rodion, who had called her a weapon that day, eventually warmed up to her, or so she thought. But the look of shock on his face when he saw her wounds heal before his eyes was unforgettable.

When Saya finished explaining her actions, Valery spoke with a stern expression.

"We have to acknowledge that the Chiropterans have become more active since Saya arrived in Petrograd."

"Yes, the first encounter seemed coincidental, but the second time it was clear they were targeting our mansion," Kirill said seriously.

Rodion, still leaning against the fireplace, also seemed to be deep in thought.

"Schwa said they might have collaborators, and that could be a possibility."

"We haven’t found the body from the first attack on the citizens, even though we’ve been searching for it," Rodion added.

Although called "Saya" and "Chevalier" in an official tone, the conversation flowed as if Saya wasn’t there.

Saya listened in silence, realizing this was the true distance between her and them. Suddenly, Eduardo, who had been silent and thoughtful, spoke in a restrained voice.

"Everyone."

Understanding his tone, they all fell silent.

"—Saya, are you awake?"

The next moment, Tanya opened the door and entered the room.

"Ah, it’s a visit for Saya. How is she?" she asked as she entered. She glanced at the pot on the wagon and added, "She seems to be doing well."

Before Saya could find her words, Tanya had already started tidying the bed. Relieved from the tense atmosphere, Saya felt a moment of comfort.

"Tanya... about that night—"

Saya had stood up silently and was about to leave the room, causing tension among the members. Only then did Saya realize she had spoken. Her words were born out of the joy of having Tanya there despite moving mansions, and the comfort of Tanya’s unchanged demeanor.

"What is it?" Tanya asked without turning around or stopping her work. The members watched Saya's face intently.

"—It's nothing," Saya forced herself to appear calm. She needed to maintain her composure, but her heart pounded against her will.

That night, Tanya had seen her confronting the Chiropteran with her sword, covered in blood.

Even though Tanya was hired with the condition not to pry, she must have been terrified.

(Terrified of me—)

Since the day they first met, Tanya had given Saya unreserved smiles. But now...

(If she saw me like that, surely—)

Saya unconsciously clutched her chest. However, Tanya’s round back continued to sway cheerfully. Without stopping her work, Tanya spoke casually.

"Honestly, with all the recent demonstrations and strikes, I thought things were getting dangerous. But I didn’t think they'd attack a mansion. It’s hard to tell who the real villains are."

"Demonstrations..." Saya looked at the members. Eduardo nodded slowly.

Saya had heard about the frequent riots recently, fueled by shortages due to the prolonged war and the gap in lifestyle between citizens and the nobility. Even when she was invited to a duchess’s champagne party, the coachman had given her a cold look.

The Red Shield likely decided to attribute the Chiropteran attack to the unrest among the citizens. But it was hard to believe that Tanya, who was there, would completely buy into that explanation.

Yet Tanya chose to believe it.

"If you can get up, shall I prepare your clothes?" Tanya turned around with her usual unchanged smile.

Saya, half-stunned, could only stare at her face. Tanya's eyes crinkled as she winked, her smile mischievous and all-encompassing.

She looked down.

The tension drained from her body—though she tried to suppress it, the tears spilled out uncontrollably.

These were the first tears Saya had shed since arriving in Russia.

Even as Saya wept, Tanya said nothing, enveloping her in warm silence.

Saya finally understood the concept of comforting silence.

Wiping her eyes, Saya lifted her face resolutely.

"I’ll be out soon, so prepare something easy to move in."

As she spoke, she approached the window and opened the curtain. She saw frost patterns clinging to the frozen glass.

Beyond the glass, nothing was visible.

The blizzard was still raging.

Earlier, when she went outside, she had been half-unconscious. She hadn’t realized it was snowing so heavily.

Saya finally understands why Haji sounded so exasperated. Tanya, noticing Saya standing frozen, smiles and speaks.

"It started snowing heavily right after we arrived yesterday. It's been like this ever since. No one goes out in this weather. Come on, close the curtain. The room will get cold again after we've just warmed it up."

"When will it stop?" Saya asks, her voice tinged with frustration. If she had been asleep for two full days, they had already lost a lot of time. The members who hadn't left the room yet also wore displeased expressions.

Tanya walks over to the window, takes the curtain from Saya’s hand, and quickly closes it. "Complaining about the weather won't change anything, will it? Besides, this is nothing unusual in this country. At times like this, it's best to think that God has given us a rest day and focus on things we can do indoors."

Saying this, Tanya heads to the next room. On the table, there is a basket with embroidery tools and a samovar. Seeing the baked goods, Saya's stomach growls again, even though she just finished a pot of soup.

"Um..." Saya murmurs, blushing. Tanya sighs and shakes her head but still quickly prepares tea for her. Unable to resist her hunger, Saya accepts and stuffs her mouth with the baked goods.

"Hey, you all come over too. Saya needs to change."

Calling out to the members who were standing there half-stunned, Tanya gets them to come over. When Saya emerges from the adjoining room in a comfortable dress, each of the members is given a cup with a holder and some baked goods. They look bewildered but take a bite.

Tanya, satisfied with this scene, looks around and smiles as if she’s thought of something. "I have just the thing for us to do together. Come with me."

She drags Valery out of the room. He soon returns, looking irritated and muttering, "Why do I have to do this...?" He places a basket full of chicken eggs on the table. Saya frowns.

"Are we going to eat them?"

"Just watch," Tanya lightly glares at Saya and begins drawing designs on the eggs with beeswax melted by a candle. Once the designs are complete, she dips the eggs into a bowl of dye. After dyeing, she carefully heats the eggs with a candle, melting the beeswax to reveal vibrant patterns where the dye did not penetrate.

"Easter eggs."

"That's right. You've made them before, haven't you?"

"Yeah, but only by painting them with a brush."

"Well, this is the Russian way. Each color and pattern has a meaning. For example, white represents purity and a blank slate for the future."

"A blank slate for the future," Saya repeats, and Tanya smiles.

"Do you want to try?"

"Yes."

Saya, naturally curious, takes the tools and an egg, her eyes sparkling. She focuses intently on the egg, mimicking Tanya's technique, and a small crease forms on her nose. Tanya watches her fondly and hands eggs to the other members as well.

"It's still a long way until Easter, and it's snowing outside," Kirill mutters while rolling an egg between his fingers. Tanya, unfazed, responds cheerfully.

"Just like a party starts with preparations, welcoming spring begins with getting ready."

"I will too..." Kiril rolled an egg with his fingers, resting his chin on his hand. "Things like this are more fun when you do them with a lot of people."

"I can't. I'm bad with detailed work. I've never been taught how to draw," Rodion quickly admitted defeat. Even so, he didn't seem inclined to leave the room. He pulled out a chair, sat down with the backrest facing forward, and leaned on it.

Valery, who had brought the eggs, glanced at Saya before standing up. "I'm busy, so excuse me."

"Busy? Wandering around the entrance hall? Maxim won't be coming here for a while in this blizzard. After all, he stayed behind at the other mansion for handling things," Kiril said, not even looking at Valery, who flushed with embarrassment.

"Wandering around, huh—Kiril, Valery," Edouard interjected, calling their names.

Both men quickly understood the meaning of his glance at Tanya and reluctantly returned to their eggs. Kiril muttered again, "I've never properly celebrated Easter before... isn't it said that a rabbit hides the eggs?"

"Why a rabbit for eggs?" Rodion asked, resting his chin on the back of his chair and dozing off near the fireplace.

Tanya replied, "Rabbits symbolize prosperity. They're special for Easter."

Saya, who had been staring intently at her egg, suddenly looked up. "Once, a rabbit I had laid an egg. It was only once, though."

Everyone fell silent at once. Saya, still engrossed in her egg, didn't notice the awkward atmosphere. "During one Easter, I was looking for eggs and found one pure white egg under a rabbit's belly."

"Um, Saya..." Tanya, unusually hesitant, called out to Saya.

Saya looked up. "You definitely saw that?"

"Of course. Haji and Joel saw it too."

Saya recalled that it happened when Haji hadn't yet outgrown her. Every year, finding eggs Joel hid in the mansion or the rose garden where they spent their afternoons was a cherished event. After Haji arrived, it became even more fun as they competed to find more eggs.

******

That day, after finding most of the hidden eggs in the mansion, Haji invited Saya to the garden. Realizing he was leading her towards the shed where they kept rabbits and ducks, Saya hesitated for a moment. Small animals were especially afraid of her.

"I've already searched there," she said.

"Just come," Haji insisted, almost forcefully leading her to the rabbit shed. As they approached, all but one light brown rabbit dashed out to the grassy area outside. The lone rabbit remained nestled in fresh-smelling straw.

Haji, noticing Saya's reluctance to enter, gently checked under the rabbit's belly. The rabbit twitched its ears but stayed still. Carefully moving the straw, Haji found an egg distinctly different from those Joel had prepared. It was a pure white egg, tenderly cradled by the rabbit.

Saya wanted to rush over but restrained herself. Haji carefully picked up the egg and placed it in Saya's hand.

The egg was faintly warm. Held on Saya's palms by Haji, she was bewildered by the warmth emanating from it. It was the heat of a small living creature. Of course, Saya knew that rabbits don't lay eggs, but today was Easter.

"I have to show this to Joel!"

Saya dashed off, not hearing Haji's call. She was eager to tell Joel about the new life she felt in the egg's warmth.

"Joel was so happy and said it was a miracle because it was Easter," Saya recalled, smiling gently at the memory. Nobody commented on her nostalgic expression.

******

"I did it!"

Saya exclaimed as she finished dyeing her egg.

"Let's see—"

Tanya, looking over Saya's shoulder, was speechless again. The drawing on the pink-dyed egg, with its wavy and intertwined lines, was almost unrecognizable.

Kiril glanced at Saya's egg and muttered, "Terrible."

Saya pouted at his harsh remark. "It's hard to draw on something so small! How's yours, Kiril?"

"Shut up, I'm working on it—"

Kiril gently placed his egg, with its wax-removed white patterns, on the table. A round shape was drawn on the black surface. Saya guessed, "A snowman?"

"No!"

"A rabbit?"

"Yes, a rabbit," Kiril confirmed.

Saya scrutinized Kiril's egg again. It could resemble a rabbit with some imagination. "It kind of looks like a rabbit."

"That's a bit rude, don't you think?" Kiril said

"What?" Saya asked.

Kiril turned away, saying, "I drew it because you looked so happy talking about rabbits."

"Anyway, our education program didn't include this kind of thing. It's not our fault if we lack artistic talent." Kiril added.

"Education program?" Tanya frowned at the term. Saya quickly diverted the conversation.

"But Valery's egg is really good." Saya said.

Valery, who had been working silently, had created a beautifully geometric egg, far surpassing anything the others had done in the same time. What started as a distraction became genuine admiration from Saya.

"Valery, you're amazing!" She beamed.

Valery looked surprised at Saya's praise, his cheeks faintly reddening. He averted his gaze when he noticed Saya watching and pushed up his glasses, replying gruffly, "I just followed the patterns."

"But being able to do that is amazing," Saya sighed, comparing her egg to Valery's.

"Eduardo’s egg is beautiful too,” Saya complimented.

“But, yours and Kirill’s eggs are bold and colorful,” Eduardo added calmly. His words never sounded like mere flattery. “I couldn’t do that myself.”

Tanya nodded in agreement, “Exactly, it’s not about being good or bad. On a day when we can’t go anywhere, the meaning lies in making these together and learning the symbolism from our parents. For instance, the diamond pattern symbolizes knowledge and wisdom.”

As Tanya spoke, she placed her eggs one by one in each member’s hands.

“The wolf’s teeth pattern symbolizes loyalty and wisdom,” she explained, handing an egg to Eduardo first and then to Kirill.

“The sun and stars represent life, fortune, and growth.”

“The ram’s horns signify leadership and strength, and the spider symbolizes patience,” she said, giving the first egg to Valery and laughingly handing the second to Rozion.

“Now, for Saya—how about a bird? The bird represents the realization of hopes.”

Saya accepted an egg depicting a bird that wasn’t in flight.

(The realization of hopes…)

Saya muttered this quietly, while Rozion, who was also fidgeting with his egg, got up from his chair.

“…This is kind of interesting. I’ll make one too.”

“Oh, you’re in the mood now?” Tanya said in surprise. Rozion picked a white egg from the basket and retorted, “I’m sure I can do better than Kirill.”

Kirill’s well-shaped eyebrows immediately furrowed.

“You don’t understand the meaning of the egg at all,” Kirill snapped.

“Huh? We’ve been stuck in this mansion for two days. I’m a paragon of patience,” Rozion retorted.

“Both of you, keep it down. It’s just an Easter egg,” Valery scolded, but no real fight broke out. Each member selected an egg and started working on it. At some point, Rozion accidentally touched a wax-melting tool and shouted.

“Oh, sorry.”

“Ouch! Be careful, Kirill!”

Kirill, looking unbothered, said, “Didn’t mean to.”

“You did that on purpose.”

“You think I’d do something so crude?”

Kirill responded nonchalantly and then turned away, muttering under his breath, “If it were on purpose, I wouldn’t miss.”

“You really are—”

“Ah, enough already. You’re so noisy,” Tanya said with a grimace, then glanced at Saya and gave a small smile. As if to say, “Boys will be boys,” Saya smiled back. In these moments, they seemed just like ordinary boys their age.

Meanwhile, the snowstorm continued to batter the windows relentlessly, but the room they were in was warm and cozy.

“Saya, is something wrong with the screen?” Tanya’s voice brought Saya back to reality, and she realized she had been touching the wooden screen unconsciously. The others looked at her curiously.

Saya explained, “This? In France, they say touching something made of wood can make happy times last longer.”

“Happy times?” Valery, frowning under his glasses, repeated skeptically. The others also paused their work and looked at Saya with puzzled expressions.

"Yes," Saya's earlobes grew hot. "There's not enough tea, right? I'll prepare some!" She quickly got up to hide her embarrassment. Watching her leave, Valery muttered, "She says strange things."

"We're just acting normally, right?" Rogion asked. For once, Kirill nodded in agreement. "To her, normal wasn't normal," Edoardo said.

"Don't be careless, Edoardo," Kirill admonished him. But Tanya, looking sorrowfully at the door Saya exited, didn't hear their words. As Saya stepped into the hallway, she sighed. Though her words came out impulsively, she felt she had said something silly.

Everyone must be irritated from being trapped inside by the blizzard. This isn’t the time to be doing such things. (Once the blizzard stops, we'll head into town to search for clues about the Chiropterans.)

While walking briskly to gather herself, Saya encountered Hagi pushing a cart with tea sets and snacks in the middle of the hallway. "I thought it might be about time for more," Hagi said calmly.

"Thank you... I'll help you carry it," Saya said, feeling a bit awkward. She reached for the cart to assist when she noticed her dress pocket was bulging. She put her hand in and pulled out the contents. "Oh, I forgot—I’ll give you this. We all made them together."

Saya offered Hagi two Easter eggs she had unknowingly put in her pocket earlier. Hagi smiled gently at Saya's generous gesture. "These are yours, aren't they?"

"It's fine." Saya looked at her own egg and the one Tanya had given her, comparing the two. She offered Hagi the one made by Tanya. But Hagi, quicker than her, picked up Saya's poorly made egg instead.

Saya spoke up involuntarily, "Ah!" "Is something wrong?" Hagi asked. "This one is prettier," Saya said. "But I prefer this one. May I have it?"

Saya couldn't refuse when he asked so kindly. "If that's what you want, it's fine. By the way, the white symbolizes a blank slate for tomorrow," she said reluctantly. Hagi carefully cradled the egg in his hand. "Thank you."

"What's wrong?" Saya asked, tilting her head as Hagi’s expression darkened slightly. He was looking at the egg thoughtfully. Tanya’s egg, which Saya had carefully put back into the pot, still puzzled her.

"Do you remember when the rabbit laid an egg one Easter?" Hagi asked. "Yes, I remembered that too," Saya replied. It was a little prank Hagi and Joel played to make Saya laugh by hiding a white egg.

Neither of them had expected Saya to actually believe it.

It might have been better if she had laughed, but as she eagerly reported to Joel, who had a brief sad smile directed at Haji, Haji never told Saya the truth.

He couldn’t bring himself to tell her.

Such a haughty young lady, older than him, had so easily taken the joke seriously. This made Haji keenly aware of how closed-off their world was, a special atmosphere that no one spoke of.

Saya murmured something that might have angered Kirill if he had heard: "Speaking of which, Kirill drew a picture of a rabbit, but it didn’t look much like a rabbit... actually, it didn’t look like a rabbit at all..."

Haji smiled wryly at her words, thinking to himself. Considering the isolated space they had lived in, Saya's world was now expanding rapidly.

She was slowly getting along with the Red Shield members, who used to see her only as a weapon. Reflecting on how they initially treated her, this was a joyful change.

But it made Haji feel a little lonely that Saya was now talking about other people. He had some concerns about fully trusting them.

Thinking about these things, Haji slightly shook his head.

(As long as Saya can be at peace, that’s all that matters.)

Haji silently watched Saya’s profile as she enthusiastically pushed the cart. Even for those who had lived in this country for a long time, snowy days were depressing.

******

In the makeshift hospital, which was originally a monastery, soldiers eagerly awaited the end of the blizzard.

A few days earlier, the Empress herself had visited to offer comfort. But the excitement from her visit had already faded in the face of the storm and the bleak war outlook.

A soldier lying in bed muttered, "The wind sounds like the devil’s scream."

"Don’t say such ominous things," another soldier immediately replied, though his voice lacked strength.

"You might really get taken away by a devil," another soldier said, half-jokingly. But everyone fell silent, looking serious.

"After all, he didn’t come back," someone said, glancing at an empty bed. Severely injured soldiers sent from the battlefield were sometimes moved to beds in the chapel on the same premises for special treatment with new drugs. But once moved there, they never returned to the main room. It was an unspoken understanding.

Of course, the empty beds were soon filled with new soldiers, which made the remaining ones anxious. They wondered if their situation would be properly reported to their families or lovers, or if they would be left in uncertainty.

Fighting for their homeland was a source of pride, but disappearing without anyone noticing was painful.

A soldier who hadn’t joined the conversation clenched the locket on his chest, which held a picture of his family. Just then, the door to the room opened.

The sound of footsteps, clacking away on the stone floors, echoed annoyingly through the building. The footsteps stopped in front of a soldier gripping a locket tightly.

The elderly doctor, personally appointed by the Empress, nodded silently, and the male nurses who had arrived with him placed the soldier on a stretcher.

Just as calmly as when they had arrived, they left the room. Once their figures disappeared behind the door, one of the remaining soldiers muttered bitterly.

"—Devils."

All the soldiers fell silent. Outside the room, a blizzard howled through the darkness.

#bloodplus: russian rose #blood+ russian rose #russian rose vol 2 #rr: volume 2 #rr: volume 2 chapter 1

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vamptastic · 5 months

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I recognize that my ask sounded belligerent because it was pretty short and brusque but I genuinely didn't intend to engage in bad faith. the reason I don't think it's a fair framing of protesters is this: I think that it's clear why people who weren't previously invested in israel would become invested following the killing in gaza, and claiming that protesters are only "masquerading" as people who care discounts the possibility that anyone might genuinely be moved to action after seeing what's happening. I'm sure the idea that they're just adventurists who don't actually care to learn the history is true about some people, but doesn't at all seem accurate to the protesters I've personally interacted with.

genuine question also: if you think the current wave of anti-israel protests is pointless because it hasn't affected material change in gaza/the west bank, how would you rather people respond?

I appreciate that, and I'm genuinely sorry for how belligerent MY response was. I've frequently had people IRL try to jerk me around on stuff I'm interested in because they think it's funny to see how I talk (I have ADHD) so I'm a bit oversensitive to the idea that somebody is just nitpicking to upset me and isn't seriously invested in a discussion. In hindsight I think I was kind of harsh and overly defensive and a lot of my response should have been left out.

Anyway, that aside. My main gripe is not that people do not genuinely care about the lives of Palestinians. They do care- but care does not in and of itself translate into material good being done. I have spoken to a many people that do not seem to have a broader understanding of why and how Israel was founded nor any actionable, longterm plans for peace. When I said they masquerade as freedom fighters, what I meant was that a lot of people seem to parrot anything that sounds revolutionary without a good understanding of what it means- not that they are pretending to fight or to care for freedom. I'm not talking about people being too self-important about protesting, but rather being susceptible to dangerous ideas as long as they paint a sufficiently revolutionary picture.

What I would really like to see is for people to organize themselves around what they want the future of Israel and Palestine to look like. The antiZionist movement in America seems to be currently organized around demands for ceasefire and a reduction in US military aid, which I agree with and would like to see. But that doesn't seem to be actually happening, and on top of that the vast majority of self proclaimed antiZionists do not seem to take 'wanting a ceasefire' as sufficient to be part of the movement. If you're working towards a shortterm goal, you need to be willing to work with organizations and individuals that have a different long-term vision. If you're not willing to work towards an imperfect but urgently needed shorterm- like an immediate end to hostilities without promise of greater concessions- then you need to clearly state your longterm goals and how this current situation will help you achieve them, if things go your way. I don't see that happening. Instead, I see a messy combination of demanding perfect ideological commitment sans clear definition of what that ideology consists of, on both an institutional and individual level.

That being said, I'm thinking about in terms of people I've talked to and my local JVP chapter. I don't know what you're doing and who you're talking to- it's perfectly possible that you've only encountered level-headed people who have accrued a solid level of understanding and know what they want and how their actions will achieve it. I just personally have encountered a lot of people who are throwing themselves headfirst into things, seemingly fruitlessly. Only people that have some personal investment in the matter (ie being Jewish or Palestinian) or an area of expertise that involves knowledge relevant to the situation seem to not consistently express wildly stupid ideas to me.

#ughhh feel like i didn't quite express everything correctly here but im tired and will doubtlessly write worse in the morning so #this will suffice. and again sorry for the standoffish reply #i have historically been more of a lurker and am thus not used to people like... caring about the shit i say on here

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highaltitudedude · 1 year

Text

From Studio to Stage: Personal Insights on Music Production by Gary Dranow

Greetings, fellow music enthusiasts!

I'm Gary Dranow, and today I'm thrilled to share with you some of my own insights and tips on music production. Whether you're just beginning your musical journey or looking to elevate your sound, these nuggets of wisdom will help guide you through the process of creating, mixing, mastering, and even overcoming those pesky creative roadblocks.

1. Mixing & Mastering

Use Your Ears: Trust your instincts and really listen to what the music needs. Sometimes, less is more, and not every track needs heavy processing.

Reference Other Tracks: Compare your mix with professional tracks in the same genre. It helps ensure that your mix translates well across various systems.

Allow Breaks: Your ears can get fatigued. Take regular breaks to ensure that you're hearing things accurately.

2. Sound Design

Experiment and Play: Don't be afraid to experiment with different sounds and effects. Happy accidents often lead to the most memorable sounds.

Less Can Be More: Not every sound needs to be complex. Simplicity often creates clarity and effectiveness within a composition.

3. Workflow Optimization

Stay Organized: Name your tracks, use folders, and keep a clean workspace. It speeds up the process and reduces frustration.

Use Templates: If you find yourself repeatedly creating the same setups, save them as templates. It’s a huge time-saver.

4. Dealing with Creative Block

Change Your Environment: Sometimes, a change of scenery or even rearranging your studio can spark new inspiration.

Collaborate with Others: Working with other musicians can help you see things from a different perspective and break through creative barriers.

Embrace the Block: Understand that creative block is a natural part of the process. Sometimes stepping away and coming back later with fresh ears can be the best solution.

5. Never Stop Learning

Stay Curious: The field of music production is ever-changing, with new tools, techniques, and trends constantly emerging. Keep learning and stay engaged with the community.

6. Conclusion: Your Journey, Your Sound

Music production is an incredibly personal and rewarding journey. It's about finding your unique voice and learning how to best express it through sound.

Remember, there's no definitive right or wrong in music. What resonates with one person might not with another, and that's the beauty of this art form.

I hope these insights inspire you and provide some guidance as you continue to explore the wonderful world of music creation.

Stay inspired, stay authentic, and above all, have fun!

With musical regards,

Gary Dranow

#music #alternative #indie rock #growth #trending #money #popular #easy money #youtube #history

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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 1 year

Text

Secret in your Heart

These translations are not intended as a replacement for the game. Please support Cybird by buying their stories. Expect grammatical errors. Not 100% accurate.

I was tasked tonight as a fairy tale writer to witness the crown destroying a criminal syndicate.

But I found that the organization was a big one, and I had to hide in the shadows to avoid dragging them down.

Evil-looking guy: "Hey. Isn't this the girl those guys had with them?"

Man with a scar: "Let's take her hostage. That way, we might have a chance."

The men before me were panting from running away, but they looked down at me with darkened eyes as they found their chance.

(What should I do?)

(I don't want to be a burden and slow them down.)

I intentionally put on a brave face so they wouldn't notice I was trembling.

Kate: "Taking me hostage won't affect them."

Man with a scar: "Haha! You say that even though you look like you might burst into tears. Pathetic. Let's take her."

(----!)

Just as the men's hands reached for me, the sound of heavy footsteps echoed through the night.

Roger: "Talking too loud wouldn't make it a secret conversation. Everyone can hear everything you say."

Kate: "Roger..."

Man with a scar: "What the fuck? I thought we were talking quietly."

Evil-looking guy: "What the hell is going on?"

At that moment, I burst into tears, unable to hold them back.

Roger: "............."

Roger: "Pfft一ahahaha! You're still acting tough even though you're scared to death."

Roger: "Haha! Nice. I got to see some good stuff."

(Huh?)

Roger smiled with satisfaction, leaving me and the other men dumbfounded.

Evil-looking man: “What are you laughing at?”

Roger: “Nothing? It’s none of your business.”

Evil-looking man: “Ha?”

Roger: “This lil’ lady is right. Taking her hostage is not gonna affect us.”

Roger: “In other words, I don’t really care what happens to her.”

Kate: “----!”

Roger: “But I have my reason to help this fella out.”

Roger: “Well, it’s not like I’m letting you guys live in the first place, anyway.”

Roger glanced at me and smiled wryly.

Roger: “Close your eyes and cover your ears, lil’ lady.”

(Huh? What?)

Confused, I covered my ears and closed my eyes as he told me to, then一

Bang!

The sound of gunfire shook my ears.

Roger: “It’s okay now.”

When I opened my eyes, the two were nowhere to be found, but I saw the sea rippling unnaturally, perhaps because “something” had been thrown into it.

Roger: “Once the eardrum is damaged, there’s a chance it won’t heal.”

I suppressed the trembling emotions deep in my stomach and looked at Roger.

Kate: “Why did you save me?”

Roger: “I told you, I have my personal reason.”

He crouched down before me and grabbed my chin with his large hand.

Kate: “!?”

Roger: “I really like crying faces the most.”

Roger: “I couldn’t help but think how cute you were when I saw you trying to hold back your tears but ended up crying anyway.”

Kate: “Wha!?”

Roger: “Don’t tell the others I saved you because I was moved by your crying face.”

With an unreserved gaze, he stared at me and licked my wet cheek.

(----!)

Kate: “Hey, what are you doing?”

Roger: “Hm? Just taking care of it.”

Roger: “Haha! Your crying face is really nice.”

Roger: “If you want me to help you again, I’m gonna need to see you cry.”

➟ Collection Event Masterlist

#ikemen villains #ikemen villain #ikevil roger #roger barel #ikevil jp #ikevil #ikevil translations #cybird

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fyoggo · 2 years

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I don't think you are consuming Hypnosis Mic properly

I have already had to tell someone else this here but it seems you need to hear it too. first off I dontlike how you use that square ended highlighter resembling brush when drawing them. They look like abstract Minecraft characters.

Seconsd off your jokes are not very funny or at least not in the context of Hypmic they do not seem relevant. You seem to have a very loose understanding of these characters and these stories, as if you were someone just pretending tney were in the fandom because they enjoy the characters on the surface, but do not bother to do digging or reaearch or someone who has only seen Rhyme animal and does not care about their full story and this is why you hyper focus on Dotsuire Hompo to try and mask in the community who know what they are doing

I have been called a troll for this and possibly a hater but I can't remember. The point is I am just saying, you snould take some time off. Take a break from Tumble or at least HypmicTumbler and then in your spare time;

I will organize a short list of what to research

Find Slugtranslations and ask for their link to their Discord where they will give you a password so you can go read the manga (it is private now due to their personal decisions). Please read all of the manga

Go to the wiki and Spotify and watxh the drama tracks and read alongside them then go to Sound cloud to find the manga drama tracks (special drama tracks that come with special manga issues these are harder to find because they are not on streaming services) Please read and listen to all of these they are the final step in canon

DNI with rhyme anima and the live action musicals they are not true to canon

I think when you come back after this you will feel very refreshed and have more relevant takes and funnier jokes. Thank you

When you are done can you please, with a normal brush draw some Saburo funny memes

I was thinking about whether or not I should answer this at all but I'll give it a shot.

First and foremost: I don't engage fandoms. I don't create story relevant content because I don't particularly feel like it... not that I should have to justify drawing what I like.

Second: humor is subjective. also the comics I draw are memes. again, I draw those to have fun to make some people chuckle. if it doesn't amuse you, that's totally fine!

I appreciate the art criticism, but unfortunately I only draw on my phone at the moment and I don't have a touch pen to do any better. sorry if this bothers you; not much I can do about it when I am pretty much finger painting digitally.

As for the story stuff... I have actually read all of the drama track translations while listening along, but none of that is really relevant to what I want to draw... I'm not sure I understand what kind of art it is that you want me to produce. like I said, the things I draw are meant to be (subjectively) funny, and I haven't gotten any anon asks like this before about any of the other games / media I created content for. is every piece of fan art you've come across 100% accurate, relevant and/or thought-provoking? I'm sure there are creators that you can follow for those things instead of sifting through my doodles. Sorry if they clutter your feed, I think I'll have to ask you to block me because I don't plan on stopping drawing things that I enjoy.

I appreciate the offer to help me open my eyes to the lore and whatnot, but I respectfully decline. it's nice of you to want to do all those things for me, but I don't like joining discord servers and I don't really think I need to do any of those things you listed either to be allowed to just draw, like thousands of other people on this website do.

thanks for this message, though! I hope if anyone else out there felt the same way they'll read this as a bit of a clarification. I doubt my sense of humor will change, and as for the takes, I haven't had a single one — I just drew characters I liked. I do suggest blocking me though, and I don't mean it in one of those "if you don't like it, block" ways, but just so you can get me out of your way. I think my blog isn't for you, and I hope you find another creator that'll check all your boxes! 😄

#ribbit #long post #long ask #tldr i just draw memes that are funny and i enjoy the game and its related content at my own leisure #i dont think i owe anybody any explanations for it but maybe im wrong? idk #followers and mutuals please lmk in the comments of this! tyyyy!#called out for being a DH fan...

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well-in-all-honesty-i · 3 years

Text

TW: Suicide

OKAY SO- I wanted to talk about Mafuyu and Yuki’s relationship and why it ended the way it did. I should preface this by saying that the majority of this, although somewhat supported by canon, is my own personal headcanon and speculation. I’ve been surrounded by a lot of people who I believe Yuki to be similar to, but I am not 100% accurate or well versed and this is mostly just from what I’ve gotten from those situations. Also, a lot of questionable grammar-I type like I speak, which doesn't translate well haha.

So I want to chunk this into 3 big pieces because I enjoy organizing things: Yuki’s childhood, how that affected his personality as a young adult, and how both of these lead to his eventual death.

Starting off with his childhood:

This one is heavy speculation (as most of this is-but this bit is particularly so) since there isn’t much canon to support this-or provide a lot of insight. But, what little we do know is that 1) Yuki’s father wasn’t present in his life-probably even before Mafuyu’s father had been jailed-and that, 2) Yuki and his father shared the same bull-headedness (?) and pride that Saeko believes led to his death.

I personally believe that Yuki’s father was someone who might have struggled with some sort of mental illness, as well as has had a problem with alcohol abuse. I also imagine that he probably disappeared or passed-either due to some sort of alcohol-related problem or suicide.

Saeko, from how she is characterized in the story, seems to be a very strong-willed and assertive person. In the aftermath of Yuki’s death, she's relatively composed and seems to have almost expected this to happen, although maybe not in the specific way it did. [Ex: When she tells Mafuyu that Yuki was always the type of person to die in a chicken race (a competition of pride, of sorts, that usually ends badly) and when she mentions him being similar to his father in that sense.]

In the flashbacks in the anime, when Mafuyu tells Yuki that his father beats him when he talks, Yuki’s response of ‘You know, a real father doesn’t do that.’ doesn’t sound like something a small child’s first response would be. It’s a bit of a reach-but considering that, as well as how prompt the response from his mother seemed to be (when Mafuyu’s father was jailed-not much time seems to have passed, and since both of their mothers are present, I've always assumed that Yuki's mother found out through her son and acted accordingly.),- it would make sense that Yuki might have some prior experience with this. Especially if his mother had gone through something similar-she probably would’ve warned him very strongly against the ideal his father had set, making Yuki want to be very far from that.

Speaking of which-I assume that Yuki probably had a very rough-if short-lived-relationship with his father when he was around. Given the stuff above, his father was probably someone who was emotionally volatile and tended to lose control when upset. If he had an alcohol problem, he might’ve caused a financial strain that fell onto Saeko as well.

Since his father was out of the picture and Saeko herself wasn't around as much as Yuki might've needed, it would have made him both very independent from his parents and adults in general, while also heavily reliant on Mafuyu (Hiiragi quotes both Mafuyu and Yuki to have been latchkey kids who found comfort in each other), both of which twist into the situation he found himself in later in life.

Leading into his teen years:

Yuki, as a young adult, is very independent-he works multiple jobs to pay for the expenses of being in a band, makes a point to avoid drinking, and is very affectionate towards Mafuyu. I'm not too sure about the reasoning behind why the four friends chose the high schools they did, but if Yuki's mother didn't directly influence that decision it's likely it was a choice made in direct relation to their band.

There's also very little interference from any adults in Yuki's life-namely, his mother. As someone who was probably very busy working as a single mother to support the two of them, her mentality was just to support him monetarily and let Mafuyu provide the emotional support in her place.

I think she also assumed her attempts wouldn't have been well received-most people noted how close Yuki and Mafuyu were and seemed to always assume that they had each other handled and that nobody had to worry about either of them because of it. In every way, it was simply easier to show Yuki she cared by not interfering and letting him hold the reigns of his own life.

A big indicator of this idea for me what when Saeko talked about how Yuki ordered his own ramen, the type he liked. It's a small thing, but it started me to read because it highlighted the amount of input his mother had on his life; which was very little. I don't know if he even used her money or chose to use the extra from his jobs to pay for it, but either way, it sort of put their relationship into perspective.

The impact it had:

Yuki probably had a lot of resentment towards his father, or, at the very least, a desire to turn out different. And oftentimes when a person is very strongly trying to avoid turning out like someone, they ignore or avoid acknowledging the similarities, rather than accepting and working on them to properly change. Without a strong parental/adult figure in his life, he wouldn't have considered insight beyond his own experiences. He's characterized to be moody and domineering, and Mafuyu is too soft-spoken to have brought up most issues until it reached its boiling point.

I believe Yuki might have had Borderline Personality Disorder to a mild extent. Some symptoms of BPD are mood swings, impulsivity, impaired social relationships, and a distorted self-image. They usually have thoughts of suicide or self-harming tendencies. When they feel insecure in relationships, in which they’re usually very, very invested, they tend to lash out or do rash things to keep them close.

Based on my relationships with the borderline people in my life, I've noticed that they usually bounce between having great confidence in themselves, to being incredibly insecure. It's hard to explain specifically, but they walk a fine line of being insecure and also maintaining a painfully strong ego, which makes them react very strongly when provoked, intentionally or not. Yuki and Mafuyu have a different type of relationship than I do with those people in my life which, for the two of them, means that Mafuyu probably had to provide lots of emotional support for Yuki, while also under the mild threat of Yuki coming to harm by his own actions.

Being with someone with these tendencies who is also unaware of them is very draining, especially for someone as mild and soft-spoken as Mafuyu is. Yuki tended to lead their relationship and was probably very noticeable when upset-and for someone who might not be used to speaking up or someone who has low self-confidence, it is difficult to bring up things. It doesn't feel safe if you don't know exactly how it would be received. Especially if they are the person you are closest to, it can be anxiety-inducing to try and bring up problems that don't seem to be incredibly important or unavoidable.

So, long story short-Yuki was closed off to receiving any kind of proper advice or criticism that would've saved him. Another symptom of BPD, as mentioned before, is suicidal ideation. So, if all these things are combined, it's a lot easier to see how he, surrounded by only his thoughts and ideas, would make the choice to take his own life when provoked.

It wasn't specifically that Mafuyu had caused his death, but more that he just sent him over the edge he had been teetering on for a long while. He was like his father in the sense that they had the same flaws that just came from different places. Yuki's pride came from the flip side of his insecurities and his own early independence, and his mental health issues as a whole are probably hereditary. The specificities of his death, where Yuki drinks after avoiding alcohol for his entire life, feels like he failed in his effort to avoid being like his father. He was different as a person but in the end, their flaws aligned and brought them to their end in parallels to each other.

Calling back to what his mom said-it doesn't feel unexpected. It is shocking, but not a surprise. Yuki was fiercely independent and wanted to learn and do new things, all on his own-including his own death and whatever follows after.

[I wrote this a while back and didn’t really like how most of it was speculation and hard to prove-but decided to post it anyway because I spent too much time on it lol.

Like I said before, most of this is just my head canons, but I hope it made sense! Feel free to add on with your stuff/arguments/headcanons :)]

#given #yuki yoshida #sato mafuyu #character ramblings #tw sui mention #mafuyuki #given manga #given anime #idkkk what do y’all think #i’m bad at Tags #also this is. severely unedited.#as in i wrote this a while back #found it and just went #huh this is a lot of words. let me skim it. sounds about right. time to post!#WIAHI

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