#but this is one I'm positive Tiktok wouldn't appreciate

[autisticrosewilson]

Drops this and leaves

[pubbamoon]

Hi, I'm a new follower after I read your post on the Venus signs and their music preferences. I'd like to hear your thoughts on people who have Pluto in the twelfth house. And, what would you recommend to people who have Pluto the twelfth house to try and combat their fears and the hidden parts of themselves?

Pluto in the 12th house

Hi bestie, thank you so much for following my Tumblr account. I really appreciate that. So, you want me to say something about having a Pluto in the 12th house and how can you deal with this placement? Without further delay, let's start!

The first thing I'm going to do is to describe the mentioned planet and house themself. Pluto is one of the three outer planets and it's the most distant astrological planet from the Sun in modern western astrology. It's the modern co-ruler of the Scorpio sign and the 8th house. It does represent death, rebirth, obsessions, extremes and where we experience intense ups and downs in our life. We either get everything from the Pluto or absolutely nothing, there's literally no between. It can also represent our dark side and the part of ourself that we hide or are ashamed of. Pluto changes signs every 15-30 years, so the placement of the Pluto sign doesn't have much significant influence on each person individually, since it's the generational planet, indeed. But when it comes to the houses, there comes the real power of Pluto.

The 12th house can mean several things. It is the last house in astrology and it's being ruled by Pisces and Jupiter (and it's co-ruled by Neptune in modern western astrology too). By saying that, the 12th house is associated with spirituality, religion and how we approach them. It also represents our conscious mind, daydreaming tendencies, how we sleep, isolation and everything that is hidden and it's not or can not be seen in a real world. This house is also about mental illnesses which can be hard to recognize and it's the opposite of the 6th house which is associated with physical illnesses which can be seen and are pretty obvious. It can also represent our karmic debts from our past life and why we are incarnated to this world again, if you actually believe in reincarnation and the similar kind of stuff. I heard from another astrologer from TikTok that this house is about prison too. It's a very complex house overall.

When the planet Pluto and the 12th house come together in someone's natal chart, this tells me that this is a person who is prone to the extremes when it comes to isolating from everyone else. These people may spend their own time alone for years and they wouldn't mind it. There could be some kind of generational trauma or karmic debt from previous lifetime that people need to break and it may not be easy with this natal placement. They could also have nightmares while sleeping or they simply have a terrible sleeping schedule. One day, they wake up too early and another day they wake up too late or something like that. Other people around them might be obsessed with them or people with Pluto in the 12th house in their natal chart might be obsessed with the people around them and no one would notice that. Stalking tendencies from you or from someone else can be relevant with this placement as well. I sense that these people used to be abandoned or lonely throughout their early life, which could be the reason why they isolate themself later in life or why they have a fear to introduce themself to the new people or experience. People having this placement in their natal chart might got some religious trauma from the childhood or change their religion drastically. On the positive note, since the 12th house is associated with spirituality, these people with the natal Pluto in the 12th house may experience many spiritual awakenings or constant changes in the way they think. Their intuition could be very strong and they can immediately feel whether some people are good for them or not.

For some of you guys who have the Pluto in the 12th house in your natal chart, I would highly recommend you to go to the therapy and talk with psychotherapist. I didn't graduate Psychology degree and I can't help you with mental illnesses and these kinds of stuff, but I think that telling people how you feel or journaling about your own feelings could help you a lot. If you can't afford therapy, then the intense shadow work may also be helpful for you. You need to acknowledge your darkest side, work on that and don't let demons from your heads manipulate you or make you do something that can hurt other people around you. I feel that you might have deep emotions which may be valuable and I think that you'll feel better if you free yourself for the expression of your emotions or from the fear of rejection.

I guess that would be everything about this observation. Thank you so much for following me and messaging me. For everyone else who follows me too, feel free to ask me about everything you would like to know about your natal chart's placement in my inbox. Keep it mind that it should be the only one particular placement from your natal chart. Thank you for your understanding in advance and wish you all a beautiful day.

Best regards,

Paky McGee

[seniasworld]

It's Been Three Weeks ...

(this post is simply to get my own thoughts and feelings regarding Liam Payne's death out. skip if ya don't care. <3)

It's been three weeks since Liam Payne has passed, and I am still having a hard time wrapping my brain around it. I am an old Directioner, as I discovered the boys and their music when I was about 14 or 15 and I adored them up until Zayn left the band. I remember being so shy about the fact that I, a teenage girl, was influenced to adore these 5 boys who were also teenagers at the time. Thankfully, I realized that it isn't a bad thing to find some sort of comfort in strangers, and no, I was not part of the group who failed to respect their privacy and boundaries as fellow human beans. I loved them dearly and unfortunately, cut that shit off once I had bigger life things to worry about.

About three months before the news of Liam's death, I had finally committed to deleting thousands ...thousands of memes and pictures that came with being a Directioner during their prime. I had so many photos that I hadn't even looked at in years taking up space in my drive and I had do either pay for more digital storage (lmfaooo yeah right) or delete things I didn't need anymore, so that's what I did. Oddly enough, it was kind of a relief to get rid of 99% of those images, as I really felt it was a nice way to reconnect with that part of my life without shame or guilt, but appreciation and love.

However, I received the news of his death from the only Directioner friend I stayed in touch with all these years. The same friend I stayed up all night with, talking about the boys, waiting for songs to release, crying on Skype together when the wind slightly shifted in our little world. The only friend who I committed to meeting in person multiple times throughout our lives. She sent me a news clip on TikTok and girl, when I tell you my hear sank ...shit was SUNK. I didn't want to believe it, so I didn't. I was in such a great state of denial and shock that I couldn't even find it in myself to have empathy. All I wanted to do was prove that it was some misinformation or some stupid prank. I guess that's one way to cope, right?

Anyway, the teenage girl in me was devastated. I instantly recalled certain posts that were made either on here or on Twitter back in the 1D days that talked so much about how we would miss these days and they would pass us by so quickly and before we knew it, we would be grieving the loss of one of our boys after going so long without being so obsessively invested in their lives. I couldn't believe that we were losing one of them so soon. I couldn't stand the fact that I felt guilty for not being more invested than I have been in each of their music careers, even though I shouldn't. Really, I was just surprised at the fact that an influential part of my childhood ...or rather, teenage years, was just gone and it took his passing for me to realize the impact they all had.

I considered myself a Harry girl, and iykyk, us girlies were in the trenches, but my point with this is that I still loved all the boys. I don't know if I can truly express it, but watching their interviews, performances, vlogs, interacting with them on Twitter even though I was lost in the sea of fans, even just listening to their voices in their music was comforting. I appreciated so much that these boys were told from the very beginning that they wouldn't be successful and then they just blew it out the water. I appreciated so much that even though they were put together as a last resort and even lost X-Factor, who they were as people was what caught our attention as fans. For me, they were a safe space. For a lot of us, they were physical evidence that creative, funny, and compassionate people exist and that they can be boys/men. For a lot of us, they were simply all we had to get through each day.

I'm not going to sit here and pretend that some of the news that surrounds Liam was always positive. In fact, I was kind of mad at him for my own reasons for a bit before he passed. But the fact is, his presence in the band was crucial and so heavily valued that you didn't even have to be a 1D fan for his death to impact you in some way. His voice was beautiful and the way he carried himself compared to the other boys, especially when they were younger, was unique and powerful. I am so sorry that this has happened to him and I am so hurt for those in his life who actually knew him and loved him personally. I wish it didn't take death for people to realize that compassion, patience, and accountability go so fucking far no matter who you are and what you do. I wish he was in a different situation that would have never allowed for him to go the way he did.

I want to remind you, if you are still reading this, to understand that mental health takes a huge toll and informs our thoughts and behavior. Addiction is indicative of one's inability to face themselves. And let me ask you: how many people do you think you are wiling to face when you struggle to face yourself?

We must be kind to others, but more importantly, we must be kind to ourselves. It's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes do not make you a bad person, and holding yourself and the ones you love accountable IS an act of love that will benefit the world around you.

I think this is all I have on the matter, for now. I am still quite sad, as I have experienced personal losses this year alone, so my heart goes out to those who have also been effected by Liam's unexpected passing.

If you ever want to chat or share any thoughts, follow and shoot me a message. I'll be around.

Goodnight. x

Yesenia

[shuploc]

I would like to know how you feel sometimes when people don’t know put your name on your artwork I see people repost your artwork on TikTok or on here and they take your name off or block it out, and the art is amazing like seriously and you deserve every amount recognition.

Oh dude, all the reposting is literally so soul-destroying, lmao. It's disheartening, it's awful, it's completely discouraging. The worst kind is when someone is selling a product with my art on it, (and I obviously don't wanna sound like I'm bragging or anything) but that unfortunately happens way too often.

I don't mind people using my art as a profile picture or even for a fic, or for inspiration for their own art. I really, really appreciate when people reach out and ask before using my art for anything, even if it is just for something as small as a profile picture. In any instance that has to do with reposting though, in general, I think the least you can do is link back to -or at the very least make people aware who the original creator is.

I think it's wonderful to get more eyes on my stuff regardless of where it is, I'd love to be able to inspire or otherwise make a positive impact on someone's life (that's the whole reason I do what I do), but I use the fan art I post as advertisement for my freelance work and to sell prints. If I wasn't posting, and if I wasn't doing it as frequently, I wouldn't get clients. So if the drawings are just floating around aimlessly and no one has any idea where they came from, then obviously no one is gonna reach out for commissions, and no prints are gonna get sold.

But yeah... There's nothing to be done about it, unfortunately, at least not anything that wouldn't otherwise hurt me back, like making my watermark much larger, or end up seeming like an awful person by having to RP as cyber-police and yell at people to "PLEASE, ADD CREDIT!!!" and such 😓

Another thing too is, whenever I do come across one of my drawings reposted somewhere and it doesn't have even a shadow of credit anywhere, reading what people are saying in the comments gives me the same feeling as if someone had made me aware that people were talking about me behind my back, y'know. Like it's something I'm not supposed to see. I know that's just my brain being weird, but it always makes me feel so oddly empty, even if the vast majority of the comments are positive.

Sorry for the long answer lmao, but TL:DR; I really, truly, dislike it, even if it's nice to know more people get to see my work.

[lovejosephquinn]

Aight just hear me out okay so you bring joe over to mee your family okay you're still surprisingly in the honey moon stage can't keep it in your pants for a second well he's meeting the family and things are going great your parents love him you guys are having dinner and you say something like " daddy please pass me the hot sauce" joe & your dad both go to get it it can end how you like

STOP IT HAHAHA. These requests just legit keep getting better every day 🤣

I just wanted this to be a simple blurb for the reaction, I've seen TikTok videos where this happened and it's just hiliarious

Your wish is my command, thank you for your request x

Joe meeting your parents seemed to go well at first no matter how nervous he'd been for the inevitable moment; it was an evening that had been planned for the last week and you'd been building each other up for it every night leading up to it.

You'd engaged in a lot of light conversation as a foursome, them getting to know Joe better but not interrogating him too much as you'd politely requested, especially to your dad. As you were called by your mum from the kitchen to take your places at the dinner table, your dad stopped you when Joe walked out the room. He put his arm over your shoulder and gave you a slight squeeze "he's good for you Y/N." You gave your dad an appreciative smile back, nodding your head. "He's the best, daddy. I'm so glad you like him."

You joined Joe at the dining table, he was engaging in general chit chat with your mum. "Smells so good Mrs Y/L/N."

"I make a good roast Joseph; you'll never forget it."

"Please, Joe is fine." he smiled as you sat next to him. His hand leaning onto hold your thigh, tracing it slowly upward with his fingers making you shudder. You were very much at the stages of not keeping your hands off one another, but you'd warned him not to try anything at your parent's house in fear they'd notice, he kept his word that he wouldn't to a certain degree, but his actions broke that promise. You gave him a raised eyebrow, shoving his hand away by spreading your legs apart fast, his eyes shot down to them and made him suck his lips inward, sighing out his nose, you looked awfully delicious in your current position.

Your mum placed your plates in front of you after your dad had helped carry the food to the table. "Dig in everyone! Thanks for finally bringing Joe to meet us, it's been a delight" She smiled delightfully towards him.

"Likewise." Joe lifted his drink to her, beamed a toothy grin back at your mum.

The gravy boat was sat furthest away from you, and you were always taught good table manners, so you knew better than to reach over the food to grab it. "Daddy, can you please pass the gravy?"

Instantaneously, your dad's and Joe's hand reached for the handle, both of them halting at once staring each other down for what seemed like an eternity, their eyes doing all the talking for them. Your face was that of a mortified look watching between them both whilst your mums hand covered her mouth, and you couldn't help but hear the muffled bark of laughter that left her.

Your dad cleared his throat and shot your mum a look, making her shove her forkful of food into her mouth, looking towards you. "I hope you're joking." your dad mumbled.

You looked innocently back at your dad. "I don't know what you mean."

"You're 25 years old, you know exactly what I mean."

Joe snorted through his nose, finding the whole situation comical, your dad shot a forced smile back at you, yes, he was clearly embarrassed by the whole shocking ordeal, not ever wantin to know that this was his daughter's kink, which clearly made him sick to his stomach, but he had to accept that unfortunately you were a grown consenting adult in the honeymoon period with your new boyfriend.

You straightened your posture, sighing a relief that it didn't end up in a heated debate. "Joe, will you let my dad pass me the gravy?" Joe nodded, looking anywhere but at your dad, his eyes bulging out of his sockets. You'd never forget the night he met your parents.

[akookminsupporter]

I've always heard that armys are known within the kpop sphere for being particularly uninterested in other groups, but I'm not even sure if that's true. I don't think I've ever heard of an army that will go out of their way to specifically not listen to other kpop groups like 'oh god I would NEVER watch a mv that's not bts.' Having said that, there may be a chunk of army that don't like kpop as a genre and only like bts as a subsection of it. Even so, I'm pretty sure most armys have some baseline familiarity with other groups' most popular songs just from existing in this space. But, while I can appreciate a song from another group, why would I buy it? If NMD hadn't charted at #1 in the U.S., it wouldn't have been another kpop group's song that did, it would have been a western artist's. It seems like they're operating from the perspective that there's a finite number of people willing to listen to kpop out there and bts are somehow monopolizing it, which is so weird bc (1) Kpop's target audience can always grow, and bts grew it, and (2) neither army nor bts owe kpop as a genre anything. Personally, I like kpop, and I think having more korean artists recognized for making good music on the world stage would be great, but that doesn't mean I'm going to buy their music.

Is Kpop a genre or an industry? Or is it both?

All I can say is that we have seen end-of-the-year award shows where many other groups perform, presenting the best they have had that year. For many of us, that has been enough. In my case, I've heard parts of songs on TikTok that I liked, but when I decide to look up and listen to the whole song, I'm disappointed. I'm not saying the group is bad; it's just that their music doesn't appeal to me. It's as simple as that, but some Kpoppies don't want to understand that. Another thing they don't want to understand—and I feel they don't, partly because they don't experience the same with their favs—is the connection with the members. It goes a bit beyond the music; some would call it parasocial relationships, but it's not as exciting as that. BTS is different in many ways from their peers, and it's something that no one has been able to replicate, copy, or repeat. Not even HYBE or BigHit.

The success or failure of other groups is not BTS's fault, and certainly not its fandom. That responsibility lies entirely with each group and their fans. Just as BTS's success is thanks to them and their fandom.

Fans control the charts (I know they can be manipulated, but fundamentally, they are controlled by the fans), so it is the responsibility of the fans to ensure their favourite groups reach the top positions. It is also the group's responsibility to attract a large number of people who want to become their fans and, therefore, are willing to invest time and money in them. It's a fairly straightforward operation, and there is no room for anything else in it.

If BTS's fandom is large and, therefore, has more resources to achieve things, it means the group fulfilled its part of the deal well, and the fandom, as a result, is fulfilling theirs. It's really simple.

It seems like they're operating from the perspective that there's a finite number of people willing to listen to kpop out there and bts are somehow monopolizing it, which is so weird bc (1) Kpop's target audience can always grow, and bts grew it, and (2) neither army nor bts owe kpop as a genre anything.

Totally and I don't understand that mentality.

[pbandjesse]

Welp i thought I was doing pretty good today. Are three meals. Had a Popsicle. But just threw up so hardcore. That was not fun at all. I do honestly feel better after throwing up but man did that suck.

But thankfully for the majority of the day I felt good. It was mostly a good day. I did have very very strange dreams last night. But I did sleep pretty well overall.

When my alarm went off I was a little disoriented from the dreams, but I was okay. I got dressed and my hair felt very dirty and it wasn't helped by how humid it was outside. Obnoxiously humid. But it was fine. It would still be a good day.

We left here. James has loaded everything into the car already, which I appreciated greatly. We stopped at McDonald's for breakfast. It was nice to have my regular breakfast after so long. I didn't get a soda and I missed the combination but I thought it would be better if I didn't have so much sugar first thing. I would get a lemonade later on, when I felt like I wasn't hydrated enough.

Setting up was quick. James helped me but there was a lot of other stuff today that they had to focus on. It was skate day! The news was there! We had a bunch of extra vendors for the skate stuff. I loved how busy everything was and it brought in new and different people and that was just really great.

I was very excited when Blanche and her mom came and had a table. Blanche had a table with a million friendship bracelets and her mom had photos and paintings. It was so nice to have them.

Ann would get frustrated with some of our vendors today because they were arriving at 9, which is when we are supposed to be open and done setting up. But I still think it was a really nice and positive day.

I would focus on my temperature blanket today. After cutting all the July yarn yesterday I was determined to get that completed worked up. And it would take about 2 hours but I did it! And I was really happy about it. It was also really nice to show people what I was working on. Because even a few people who recognized the type of loom, they were really surprised that I can make panels on it and it was really cool to share that.

I would also finish the three squares for the little blanket I'm working on and I will probably get those sewn together tomorrow. I am really excited about all the work I got done.

And I made a few sales. I made $85. And I got my lemonade for free which made me very happy. James bought us some pies and snacks. And there was a really nice breeze. It was a good day.

I was happy to be done though. The last hour was pretty slow. I hate that I kept watching TikToks but I was just really bored! I would have some nice conversations but I was ready to go!

I worked up and loaded the car. And went inside the museum to hug on James. I would start helping check someone in but it was a weird one and James would tap back in to help. Perfect timing on my husband's part.

I would fill James in on my afternoon plans. Shake shack, five below, Ulta, target. I thought I might go to the craft store but I had to tap out after target.

The problem started at shake shack. At first it was great. I was really loving my sandwich. But I got halfway through and thought I was going to be sick. I sipped my drink and tried to be okay. I wouldn't force it. Instead packing my leftovers to go.

I drove to five below. Got myself a bunch of snacks. Alexi told me that sour stuff helps her stomach feel better when she feels quest. So I got this ridiculous sour gel. Which I used to love that kind of candy when I was a kid and I still like it now apparently. And I did find that it helped.

I would get myself two sanrio blind boxes. And then walked over to Ulta. Where I found the spin pins I needed to replace. And I got a new stick blush. The one I got a few months ago had glitter that I didn't know about. So I'm pretty happy that I found one without the highlight.

I walked over to target. I would get some frozen foods and a lemon. I walked around the rest of the store but didn't get anything else. I got what I needed and decided I needed to go home.

I sat in the car for a little. Opened my blind bags. Got a pompom purrien who is my favorite. And cooled off and caught my breath. And then headed home.

Google took me a really weird way home but it was fine. Got a parking space right outside our door. And was happy to be home.

I put the frozen stuff away. And took a shower. I was feeling a bit queasy and questionable. But the shower helped. Washing my hair helped a lot. And then I laid down and ate sour candy.

I was doing pretty good but the queasy feeling kept coming back. James would come home and would hang with me for a while. But eventually they went and made dinner. They had pasta. I had a quesadilla. Sweetp kept trying to steal it from me which was rude.

But I did not feel great. And that would continue. We laid in bed and James held me and I have found if they press on my side it helps the bad feelings. So we laid there like that for a long time.

I went to brush my teeth. I have had a dry bad taste in my mouth most of today. I think from being dehydrated. I was trying a tongue scraper that Jess got me when I was like. I'm going to throw up. And it was very bad and very upsetting.

James would run in and brought me some water but I was very very distressed for a bit there. But I drank some water. And brushed my teeth again. And I just had a little apple strawberry juice. And I feel a little better. Mostly I am just really tired.

Tomorrow I am hoping to sleep most of the morning away. Because I'm working a wedding from 2 to midnight. And I need to be up and ready to go! I plan on taking my anti nausea meds since today didn't go amazing. And I'll make sure I'm drinking water. And it will be a great time. There's going to be an alpaca there and I'm very excited about that.

So let's hope that this was just a one off and I'm going to be okay. I will feel better tomorrow.

I love you all very much. Send me good vibes. And send my mom congratulations because today she marks 41 years sober!! Incredible. I love her so very much and I'm proud of her for this accomplishment in self care and self restraint!! Love you mom!

Goodnight everybody!!

[russellius]

i genuinely believe the memes are being taken by people in a positive way, in the sense excluding a certain group the majority of people are laughing with him rather than at him. george doesn't seem to publicly mind too much which def helps the way these jokes are perceived. the more neutral f1 fans seem to like that he doesn't take himself too seriously either esp since merc's driver image and in turn george's since he left williams is...well we all know. but the problem is the frequency of these jokes and it does leave a bad taste in my mouth that they have no problem taking advantage of whenever george gets positive attention be it the memes or the hair change but the minute it comes to actually protecting him or their other employees from attacks from ykw then they are silent. it real says a lot.

eh, maybe. i'm not too sure about that first part, but it could be just me being pessimistic.

and yeah i kinda mentioned it here that on their own, posts like these wouldn't be a problem, i wouldn't mind them. as you pointed out george doesn't take himself too seriously, he is always up for a joke, he is a genuinely fun and funny guy, with a great sense of humour, all of which i adore about him. but i feel like we are reaching a point where it's too much, and it's being used in a way that i'm not a fan of. when it's done so often, when the memes are what get pushed all the time, and like you said the team is quick to jump on all of this stuff to milk it, and yet when they should be showing him appreciation, or they should be protecting him, it's... crickets... it just gives me the ick. and it's especially :| when you know that only one guy on the team gets this treatment. and when you know how much hate george thrown at him.

i don't know how much of this is a conscious response to the "ew, george is so serious at mercedes" shit we got starting with 2022, and how much of it is just... riding the wave. but at the same time, it's a formula that (as far as i can tell, because i didn't follow the team before george went there) already kinda existed when bottas was there, like. i'm thinking of him doing the same silly tiktoks etc. one guy is the man who gets all the glory, the other is there to be made fun of. i don't think i'm subscribing to that.

idk, it's getting massively irritating. like, do one of these posts every once in a while, but don't make it george's entire image ffs.

i'll be honest i'm not familiar with her page/posts! to me that part was actually one of the better segments of that video, and i found it kinda sweet (+ bro was speechless for once too!). i mean from her pov i can totally understand it, like, i would want to k word myself lmao... but i was also like, finally, that part was appreciative of george, and you could tell she genuinely loves him, plus gr fans were at least somewhat acknowledged by the team... 🥴 that doesn't happen often, so we gotta take the small Ws.

[lauraroselam]

i wasn't sure if you would read the tags i'd leave if i reblogged your reply to my ask so i decided to just send you another ask! ha! i'll bullet point them this time bc i have quite a few things to say:

1. you can definitely keep my asks public, i really don't mind :)

2. never have i ever been so excited to open an email, and that too first thing in the morning. seeing your reply, especially that little treat at the end (!!!!!!!!!), had me smiling and kicking my feet in bed. i'm, impossibly enough, even more excited for Emberclaw now.

3. having more than one narrative position in a book is certainly ambitious and one that i haven't encountered in any other book so far, but it grows on you, fast (at least it did on me), and can be an acquired taste to some who are willing to give it a chance. i think you might just be the first author who has changed my mind completely on first person narratives and i owe it to your flawless delivery, of course (i'm biased, i'll admit). also, "narrative positions" was exactly the word that wouldn't come to me in my fit of excitement while writing my last ask; it was a tiny brain-fart moment on my part when i said "pov choice" instead haha.

4. this is more of an aside really but it once took me 400 pages (of a 800+ pages) to get into a book, so imho, 50 pages isn't asking for much. fantasy novels tend to be a little demanding! also, it was my first proper foray into epic fantasy. i then went on to finish the series despite the really, really, really slow start. the slowest. i think a reader can tell when the wait will be worth it though, almost like a gut feeling.

5. multi-pov is another polarizing aspect of books, but then again, it can be enjoyed if done well. i once read a book with 14 povs and gave it 5 stars. it wasn't even a fantasy novel, but a contemporary one! in comparison, your book with its 4 povs is pretty tame, and i think, even the norm for epic/high fantasy novels. personally, i enjoy being in the head of different characters! especially when you've got a big cast of them. also, that surprise 5th pov toward the end took me quite by surprise!! jaw, meet floor.

6. i do have a GR account! and i certainly have plans on leaving well-deserved, glowing reviews on both the book and audio :) it's the least i can do!

7. this one is more of a suggestion to those who might find the narrative positioning a little jarring: listen to the audiobook instead; it warms you up to it much faster!

i think that just about covers it. again, i cannot say this enough, but Dragonfall would not be the story i fell absolutely in love with had you not made the narrative (ha!) choices you did. i hope more people come to appreciate and love it as much as i do, and are willing to give it the fair chance it deserves <3

much love 💖

I think I'd see the tags! I'm so out of practice with Tumblr, but I have enjoyed coming back to it as I feel in some ways I can be more authentic over here rather than the more traditional promo over on tiktok and insta. Not that I'm inauthentic elsewhere it's just...here you can be a bit more off the cuff, I think?

1. Whew!

2. Aww yay! Interacting with readers is honestly one of my favourite things. I'm so excited when I hear from someone who got what I was trying to do. Releasing art for public consumption can be excellent but also hard. Dragonfall is probably my most personal book, so it being marmite made me so self-conscious. I always think about that Don Marquis quote "Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo." It's nice when you get the echoes back. :-)

3. I was inspired to be experimental after reading The Fifth Season, which is a masterpiece. I've heard good things about The Spear Cuts Through Water which also does cool narrative position trickery, I think. I also really love framing devices of people looking back, like in Assassin's Apprentice by Hobb (my fave author, as evidenced by the dedication). I'm glad I could open you up to all the opportunities of first person! I taught a class on narrative positions when I was a creative writing lecturer so I'm just very passionate about how form can marry function, hah.

4. Yes, four (technically five) is tame compared to some! I did seven in Seven Mercies and whew, that was a lot, even though technically my co-writer and I mostly split it up. My next projects will be 2 and then 1 as a bit of a breather. It is harder to balance multi POV, but I love the "heteroglossia" potential of storytelling.

6. Thank you!

7. I wish I could listen to the audiobooks of my books! I get too self-conscious or want to edit. I can say that Philip and Rachel did amazing jobs from the samples I head, though, and I was super excited they hired a nonbinary voice actor for Arcady. This was also my first time having more than one voice actor, which was neat.

And yes, I hope so too. <3

[elkkiel]

Same anon again, glad to see we agree! I get easily annoyed/tend to be very wary of people because of Discourse TM ive been in/seen go down and honestly i see a lot of it the st fandom that concerns me and annoys me to no end. So im glad to see we seem to be on roughly the same page here especially with how nasty (in the being an asshole to people who disagree way) people have gotten in discourse ive observed. Let people be horny as long as theres no real life sexual harassment/abuse and let people have fun with interpretations of art (as long as theyre not being weird about real life events that inspired the Perceived As Horny art) yknow? I brought in some other discourse here with this ask in particular but i have been very bitter about people lately lol

With how generally sex-positive the fandom is (like in terms of acceptance of sexuality, esp kink and paraphilia), it's a little surprising that people would actually get that up in arms over something like this.

Personally, from my own observations, I'd mostly attribute it to how booktok's kind of adopted ST + Vess as some shallow, sexy spooky anthem/daddy dom character. If booktok is already perceived as 1) low-quality lit, 2) romanticizing heteronormative abuse fantasies, and 3) kinda "cringe", I could see people being extra negative when their fave's starting to be associated with the community.

Which, I understand both sides. I would like to lick the body paint off of Vessel as much as anyone else here. But, the appreciation goes far beyond sexuality, and it's not a factor in my overall love for the band. It can be annoying to see people fawn over "baby-making metal" and our beloved, shirt-avoidant Best Boy at a horny surface-level appreciation. Especially since a lot of the tiktok fandom that might overlap with booktok are sometimes the ones that take thirsting into actual objectifying territory. The music is far deeper than its sex appeal and the community is more than just folks who scream daddy at the barricade during Atlantic lol (idk if that's happened but like you know what I mean hopefully)

So yeah, I get why people would be upset over it. If it were up to me, I wouldn't want Sleep Token to be associated with people's generalized (and sometimes legitimate) negative opinions about booktok. I love them and I wish people got to form their own views unclouded by horny digital shrieking lol. However, this is real life, and I am a mature(?) adult person who can move the fuck on with my life and let the booktok horndogs straight up jork it to whatever they want. It doesn't affect me. And again, if they're not translating their potentially misinformed, hard dom daddy Vess fantasies into harmful irl practice, then who gives a fuck.

People need to chill and realize that there's always going to be aspects of a fandom that you can't control (I'm a veteran Dream stan, miss me with that fandom policing bullshit lol trust me it doesn't work). Just like there's going to be interaction/overlap with other communities that you personally don't agree with. Have your own opinions, share concerns for legitimate worries that don't demonize the individuals themselves, and curate your own online experience to avoid things you don't vibe with.

[anitatapio]

How I overcame self hatred

When I see pictures of myself as a kid smiling or doing whatever silly things I used to do, I can't imagine how I could ever have hated myself? My mom sent me a bunch of pics from when I was 10 and I was so cute! I think that's something a lot of people should do. Look at childhood pictures of yourself when you feel like self harming in whatever forms it may be (the words you speak to yourself matter and negative thoughts also count as self harm in my opinion). You wouldn't treat that child badly so why do you still abuse yourself? You're still that child inside even if your exterior is different. I thought the other day about how I don't really feel insecure about my physical appearance anymore. I'm good as long as I care for my face. I think it helped me - to start wearing that mask online, represent myself by my characters, words and not my physical appearance.

On the days I used to post selfies daily I kept picking apart every detail of my appearance to an OCD degree - don't wanna get into that subject right now cause it's a lot to type but I believe I have it for more reasons but the way I obsessed about it was unhealthy. I don't think anyone staring at their face too much is healthy for anyone - like instagram and tiktok first and foremost encourages. I think that's part of why plastic surgery is skyrocketing. I used to think about getting a nosejob and smooth out my jawline (which is funny because after learning a sharp jawline was the beauty standard I accepted my own). Now I just can't be fussed about it. Another thing that helped me was historical paintings and victorian photographs. I'm skinny but facially I don't think I fit the current ideal. That's another way to go about it - find an era in history that appreciates your look! It's a weird balance to upkeep I haven't entirely figured out yet. I miss posting outfit pictures. I miss not hiding myself. I don't think that's entirely healthy either to listen to my ptsd induced paranoia... then again the online discourse around gender non conforming/nb/trans people has gotten worse in recent years and I just don't want any drama... I don't know.

I might start posting fashion related photos of myself. I do enjoy it as an art form but it should be carefully deliberated and my principle is that I always want my personality and my words to be louder. Valuing yourself solely based on physical appearance leads to a rude awakening as we age and change because no one (even with the most advanced anti aging interventions) looks like a teenager/in their 20s forever (as is unfortunately the beauty ideal these days).

I do practise skin care, to preserve/delay because I'm not immune to vanity (and want to protect what I have for as long as possible by topical applications, sun protection, exercise and nutrition but no injections). Vanity has its benefits in our shallow world but your personality should beam brightest.

Find your purpose, something meaningful to you to channel your energy into that's not appearance based. I care less about how beautiful I am to others when I'm proud of the things my mind and my hands can create not just what I look like without effort on my part. For me I hope my stories will be valued by people someday. I hope the things I put out can enrich other peoples' existence. Even if I was conventionally attractive, I'd think it was sad if that was my only contribution to this world, to be something pretty to look at or be compared to/make other people insecure. I want to inspire others. I want to make a positive impact in the world, and if not in my stories then by the way I carry myself.

The world needs more kindness. I see so much polarization, so much harshness everywhere these days. I feel like the political climate is worse than it's been before in my short lifetime. I know it's a lot better than it was in the past politically but still, feels like the world is rolling back and we are behind where we were circa a decade ago. I utterly despise that when something progresses in society, something else always regresses but if not the grand scheme of things in the world, I hope to be able to improve the lives of the people in my circle. I think that's a good thing. Not sure how to round up this post. Just spontaneous thoughts here.

[astoriadia]

Book #13/100: Angels Before Man, by rafael nicolás

Author: rafael nicolás Published: 2022 Genres: Fantasy, Queer, Romance Rating: 666/5 stars Ok.

This review is going to be a hot mess. I have so many feelings and thoughts, and thanks to this book I've decided to start doing reviews just to get the thoughts out about them because WOW.

When it comes to buying books, I often wait until I've finished reading a book checked out from a library before I buy it, likely off of Thriftbooks to save money; this is mainly because I want to be sure I'll enjoy the book I'm buying, and that I'll reread it. When it came to Angels Before Man, by rafael nicolás, I knew I wouldn't have read it before buying, because I was going to love this book. The premise is so simple: as eluded to in the title, Angels Before Man is a chronology of a time in Heaven before man. Of course, that scope is massive, and so it's narrowed down to (I believe) the span of a few million (or was it billion?) years. The story followers Lucifer, in a queer retelling of Satan's fall.

When I saw this off of TikTok looking for book recs, I was stunned. Gagged, one might say. The moment I could, I bought a copy. When it came, I was in my room, reading away. And before I even get too far in this review, let me just say it's incredibly ironic in my eyes that this was book number 13. While 13 is seen as an unlucky number, without a doubt, this is the single LUCKIEST book I will have a chance to read this year, no doubt, because of how incredible it is. Everything about ABM is polished and gorgeous. The first half stays relatively in frame with standard third-person but is just so wonderful to read I love it, and the second half has some of the most gorgeous prose I've ever read; I'm talking like To The Lighthouse levels of stunning with how it seemed to switch perspectives and every character's thoughts began bleeding into one another like some psychedelic fever dream. Of course, while this prose is fantastic, I had to pause at multiple points to take it in because of how dense (in a good way!) and layered it is. Speaking of the characters, they're fantastic. I loved all of them! Or rather all except one, which, IYKYK. If there's one thing I appreciated about the second half of the book (and I did not appreciate crying at 3 AM), I loved hearing from characters like Lucifer, Rosier, Uriel, Gabriel, Raphael, Asmodeus, Baal, Michael and Phanuel. So many distinct characters, and yet throughout, one of the things that unites each of the characters is the tragedy they undergo.

Lucifer, for instance, who the narration follows for the majority of the novel, is handled in such a delicate way that I was almost reminded of The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath, with how carefully nicholás brings you into his breakdown, to the point where it feels (and in some ways, is) justifiable. Although Lucifer is a great character, Rosier was my personal favorite throughout the novel (though in the past few days I have been switching my favorite on a nearly hourly basis). Throughout the novel, Rosier acts as a guiding force for Lucifer as he gets introduced to heaven, yet by the end of the novel, he faces immense tragedy, and while I won't go into specific spoilers, I'll just say it had me bawling my eyes out. Perhaps one of the biggest themes besides tragedy throughout the book is love. This is alluded to on the back cover, where it states that Lucifer learns to love himself through a growing friendship with another angel, Michael. Of course, I don't trust any description for this book anymore, since the Goodreads one called it "part cozy coming-of-age story" (I WAS LIED TO /J). Throughout the novel, love is depicted in a plethora of ways; I found examples of it in almost every scene, and though some of these situations showed positive love, there was also a number of scenes where love was shown in negative ways. The relationship between Lucifer and Michael, for example, borders on mutual glorification by the end of the novel; God's relationship with Lucifer as well is also a twisted form of love, one that acts as a strong force pushing Lucifer towards his breakdown.

Before I wrap up this already-long rant about what might be my new favorite book, I have talk about the ending. Heart? Gone. Where it went, I don't know. I break in my books' spines when I first get them, and while that normally doesn't spoil my reading (since I've already read them), with ABM, I hadn't read it. I saw, accidentally, the four words that end the novel. At that time, I didn't think too much of it, but by the time I had finished the novel, at 3 AM because I had started the second half a few hours ago and HAD to finish it because it felt like I was watching the slow implosion of a planet, I was actually dying. I'm serious. When I saw those four words something happened and all of the sudden I was just. Dead. Deceased. Crying my eyes out. I woke my cat up and he gave me a look but I kept crying.

Lastly just because I can't listen to a bunch of songs since I wrapped up the book without tearing up, I am sharing them here because if I can't listen to them without crying anymore then you shouldn't be able to either.

A&W, by Lana del Rey

The Archer, by Taylor Swift

I Know The End, by Phoebe Bridgers

Kyoto, by Phoebe Bridgers

What Was I Made For? by Billie Eilish

hoax, by Taylor Swift

Motion Sickness, by Phoebe Bridgers

Dear Reader, by Taylor Swift

You Missed My Heart, by Phoebe Bridgers

Love Is A Game, by Adele

Moon Song, by Phoebe Bridgers

Did you know that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd, by Lana del Rey

False God, by Taylor Swift

P.S: ABM is apparently a part of a trilogy, and the second book, Angels & Man is set to release sometime this year??? i fear you will not hear from me ever again if this book comes out and is as devasting as the first. rafael nicolás please write something nice im begging you JUST LIKE SOMETHING SET BEFORE ACT 2 OF ABM WHERE EVERYONE'S HAPPY

TLDR: My heart hurts from what I read and my head hurts from trying to process what I was reading and I think I can't listen to Phoebe Bridgers anymore without sobbing violently.

[elecalice]

Well, I had to do what I promised on the poll that I made.

This blog is dedicated to my attempt to do amateur Cosplay (Well, Crossplay) as Prosecutor Ito, from Mega Man Battle Network 6.

Amateur indeed, since I didn't and don't have a red tie, so I had to use a Bowtie. I feel that Ito could use a bowtie, I think. Also, I don't have formal shoes, so I had to use my cute beige Sneakers.

Yeah, I'm that amateur. But after all, I'm just casual and I'll not dedicate myself to cosplay. I'll sticking with drawings and other things.

I'll try to show the photos in chronological order.

WARNING// My real face (lol)

My first attempt on doing the Ito cosplay. It was December of 2022, and at one weekend there was a Geek/Nerd event. At Saturday, I went to buy a short for the cosplay. It kinda hurt my wallet back then, but oh well.

I even went to show off my Cosplay. I was SO nervious to show off to present my character, and I think I showed up too much introduction to my character. Eh, first times. But the best thing is that ONE PERSON recognized my character!! And he even took a picture of me! That made my day! ;w;

But I didn't took pictures on the event itself. But instead I took some photos during my way to walk to home. I took pictures nearby a tree, which fitted so well. (I took more but at that moment it was SO windy it kinda ruined some photos, in a funny way. Also, the book used was my copy of Fahrenheit 451. I didn't have a law book, so I improvised... yeah.)

Months later, now in 2023, I attended another event, the first event of a major Nerd event in my town. I even participated on the Cosplay contest. I sadly didn't took photos of myself on that event, except a few ones of me eating a origini. (That origini was delicious)

BUT as a compromise. I'll tell my experience on the Cosplay event... OH BOY.

I wasn't sure to participate, but then I decided to eat up my pride and participate. Adding to me not having a tie nor formal shoes, my hair, my natural hair by the way (not a wig), was long. But at least I complimented the Cosplay with a borrowed copy of my country's constitution. Yes really.

So yeah. But the most awkward detail was, I had to act in-character. And I was like "OH... FUCK". Ito doesn't do much, except operate JudgeMan or being the happy doomer prosecutor that we know. The NetNavis do the cool battle stuff, while the humans excluding some, don't do much. So yeah...I had to improvise. Using dialogue but... I didn't have a microphone, not they provided me one. So yeah. I had a massive disadvantage, and when I tried to speak, probably didn't reached to so many people. When I LAST attempted to "jack-in" JudgeMan at something, I did it in front of the judges, and I jumped out of embarassement. And fun? fact, acting while having your eyes close is, and I repeat, H.A.R.D. HARD, All caps. At least the judges told that the majority of time I actually looked at the public.

When I had to leave the scenario, I had to cover my face with the book, while my friends dragged me outside. I felt that my I wouldn't Cosplay as Ito again. This situation could've been more embarassing, if it wasn't for my friends supporting me during the whole dear, I REALLY appreciate them. ;w;

At least someone asked who's my character, and I told the lore around him, but I had difficulties due to my speech impediment with my unability to pronounce the hard R letter. (And in extention, the RR as well)

I had to recover the embarassment after that. I seriously considered NOT to Cosplay as Ito again... But at least I managed to eat my pride, accept that I did it and I should move on from that.

I also did a Tiktok making Ito dance a bit with the audio of Bo's "A really good book" Vine. I thought that the Vine fitted Ito SO MUCH that I had to do it while I was home alone. It was hard to find the perfect position to place my phone in orden to record that video. But yeah, I tried. Now I don't remember if I did it before or after the previously mentioned event. I think I did the TikTok before the event? I'm lazy to check the dates.

Now, in September, I managed to get a haircut. And in some moment, I had the idea to Cosplay and act like Ito for a moment. So I did it, and did some photos. I take more but I decided to put this three ones.

I also acted and did some videos of me acting as Ito and being angsty and edgy. Yes really. I tried to act. I also did some videos of Ito trying to awkwardly dance to Nürnberg's Valasy. I love Nürnberg's music, btw.

And now, the previous weekend, there was the second edition of the Nerd event on my town, and again I went as Ito. But I didn't participated on the Cosplay event. Because come on. I don't want to show off as Ito again, not due to embarassment, but because It's kinda boring of my part to show off again as Ito. Okay?

Anyways, despite the overwhelming first day, that and the second day I had fun. It was fun! I didn't took that much photos of myself. The first one I took it myself, but the second and third one I had a friend who took those photos of me in my cosplay. And the last photo, I did it after returning to home. (I also took one of myself with the brown jacket that I used in case that the day became cold. I think that jacket fitted Ito.)

So yeah!

As when I ate my pride to participate that contest, I'll be eating my pride showing my real face and dressing as my cuestionable blorbo.

And random fun fact, the me posing showing three fingers, is a reference to a Japanese fanart where Yuika, Vic and Ito pose showing three fingers, like a W. WWW, World Three. I love that fanart.

I kinda feel weird and kinda lonely being the major Prosecutor Ito fangirl. But oh well. That's kinda my curse. (?

(I hope I can get braces... When my friend took some photos, I felt self-conscious about my two weirdly-located frontal teeth. Well. Gotta save money. ;w;)

[1d1195]

Yeah it's not an option completely ruled out....I will always be open to company, like I said, I wanna make friends everywhere I go..but just for the sake of mental health I guess, its not something on my to do list, does that makes sense? But thank you, I really appreciate the hope, I feel like it's such a blessing to be a best friend as much as it is to have one 💓

Time...well I only hate it when I feel like I have wasted it...I really understand what you meant by not feeling old but feeling like you are short of time....in the hindsight I know logically I'm only 19, there is so much left, but then I'm like "Did I do the right things when I was 10, 13 or 16? Will I still get to experience that?" Its more based on "was this time spent purposefully, did it make an important impression". That's the main reason I wanna experience it all cause then I can have that proof of presence, if something good happened before, it will happen again, do not be worried, if something bad happened before it could happen again, do not be ungrateful.

Tiktok is banned in my country😭 I do check insta but only when its like super duper positive and stuff...most of youtube is filled with productive life style motivation vlogs....I miss physical books, I am a hoarder for them and I haven't read a novel in like 4 months my hands are itching, I am, though, finding good recommendations for after exams so if you have them, let me know...and please do take breaks I can't imagine how much mind power it takes to do maths all day everyday...kudos for that 🫠🙃

My week is already made with THAT TRADITIONAL ONE SHOT EICJIEOSJDIE...I died, they're my absolute favourite, she is such a sweetheart honestly and harry is gone gone for her...I feel like you portray Niall and Louis so amazingly its like they must be just like that irl, like a comfort pillow 🤏✨🫶

-🧸

I totally get what you mean about it not being on your to do list. It's hard to set out and be like, "I'm going to find my best friend today." It doesn't really work that way. You don't want to force it. So I totally get it. I've mentioned it before on here, but even though I told you about my best friend, I don't think I'm someone's best friend. I'm always second-best. Or tied. Or something. It's hard. I know you'll find someone. It's going to be wonderful 💕

You seem way wiser than I am. I'm nearly a full decade older than you. I don't think about 10, 13, 16 year old me much more. Other than she was quite sad and lonely and she would be pretty proud of me now. It's a little freeing, so maybe that's something to look forward to as well as you age. I'm sure 30 year old me will look at 20 year old me and think she was an idiot.

Fascinating about TikTok in your country. It's probably better that you focus on positivity. I am actually very negative by nature, believe it or not (#trauma) this blog is where I'm most positive. I save all my positivity and hope for you and my other followers 💕

I am reading a TERRIBLE book right now. It's extremely traumatizing and I'm only like a third of the way through wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Idk how it was a pick of the month at the bookstore (I do, it's probs really well-written) but idk why I bought it. My goal is to read all 35 books I have had sitting on my bookshelf by the end of the year so I know that hoarder life too.

The math I do is pretty basic I think. It's teaching the kids the math that make my brain hurt hahaha

I would die for any member of 1D no questions asked, but Niall and Louis would be my best friends, I'm sure. I would do anything for them and I like to believe they're similar to how I write them irl.

Glad you liked Traditional good to know they're you're favorite! 💕💕 Sorry for the long reply, I hope you're having a good day/week!

xoxo

[mx-matched-knickknacks]

HERE WE GO [Under the Read More cause I already know it's gonna be loong LMAO]

Bfbfvegege maybe I am praising him too much in this and yeah maybe someday I'll go back to this post and cringe, but hell, lifes short and the internet is forever, right? I don't really go on Autism rants about my interests often, so if your looking for trouble simply keep scrolling thank you very muchh 💚💚 (and im sorry if anything written comes off as rude, that is not my intention i promise)

Well... here we are. I think it's fitting that now, at the end of this era, I write one big love letter to Joost and this fanbase hahaha XD

As many of us approach knowing of Joost for HALF A YEAR (holy shit, already?!) and we finally get the answer that he's not going back to ESC next year, I can't help but be nostalgic :•}

Obviously getting really into this Dutch artist was not expect haha, but ohh what a ride it's been so far. And because of TikTok of all things XD As an American fan, finding him was purely by chance, but I'm ever so grateful I did. Ive spent so much of my freetime watching the live Europapa performence over and over and over again, folding and cutting and glueing those cute little paper dolls of him, scrolling endlessly on TT for every little bit of love shown, watching every interview and live performance hes done (and all the concerts he played at!!!)... and also spending maybe a little bit too much money shipping Chrome Magazine over to the US lol ^^; This probably wont sound like much to you, but this one man somehow managed to disrupt my ongoing 4 year streak of a different special interest! How about that!!!

Now... ive seen both wonderful and absolutely terrifying things from this fanbase, if im gonna be totally honest... ^^; but overall id say my experience has been pretty good! Obviously I have not interacted with ppl within this space much (as often happens with my interests sadly) but yall who do act right are pretty damn cool and extremely talented !!!!! (And huuge shoutout to those who work hard to translate from Dutch to English too, like JoostSubs on twt!!!!) ^^ This kind of creativity is what Joost wants to inspire!! Remember that!!! And I do want to take more steps into being more active in the fanbase in the future <3

Now about Joost himself...

I don't think I've ever know of anyone who's star shines as bright as his. Through time and turmoil he remains steadfast and ever so kind to those around him (almost to a fault). With his friends; Stuntje, Apson, Lyon, Tantu, Donnie, Alanis (and all the rest of em!) He's shown incredible amounts of love and care for :'•) Even after becoming such a big name worldwide, he still remained in a state where he can still do what he loves with the ones he cherishes most and that's just so damn wonderful to me 💙💙💙 His pure unadulterated silliness, his infectious joy and positivity, and how he unabashingly is himself no matter where he goes are qualities i really do look up to in him. Just the most wonderful guy I've ever seen whos sooo full of whismy...

Though I can't relate personally to the meanings behind most of his songs, I don't think that prohibits me from still appreciating just how much heart and soul he puts into them. And seeing all the people who have been helped and felt heard bc of his music... it just makes me very happy, yknow? Is that so cringe to feel?

I don't wanna talk as much about his disqualification and that interview he did earlier today (for not focusing too much on the negative), but I do firmly believe that he was treated extremely unfairly just in general by... certain groups (you know the ones). I will say that I am very glad Tantu called them out tho 😁😁. The decision of not going to ESC 2025 being last minute did sort of surprise me tbh. Maybe one day he'll release the song he made for next years ESC, but it did seem to cause all of them a lot of ultimately unneeded stress... so I wouldn't be surprised if that's something released in the far future. I really do hope that Joost and his friends can spend good time healing from everything that has happened since May, whatever way they find suitable.

I don't think I'll be leaving this fanbase anytime soon (or will be able to LOL), but as we reach sunset of this "Europapa" Era, I want to say:

Gabberland Era here we come!!!

Love Always Wins #LAW

Unity forever and ever 💙💙💙

#JoostKlein2025

Be normal, be healthy

No matter where this future takes us, I'll be forever grateful to have Joost in my life 💚💚💚💚💚

Ty for reading my silly rant :'•} mwah mwah

Lord help me I'm about to type up all my thoughts about Joost after that interview 🙏🙏 /lh

[ahqkas]

𝐨𝐨𝐨. MOMENTS WE SHARE ; anakin skywalker

pairing! anakin skywalker x gn!reader

synopsis! it's anakin's turn to keep you grounded, to be your anchor, after a rough day full of negative emotions

warnings! fluff, no proofread, use of 'angel, sweetheart, my love' for reader, based on this request tysm for the request lovely <3 lmk if i missed smth !!

word count! 0.9k

note! i pledge allegiance to the flag of anakin skywalker the united states of america 🫡🫡 (its a tiktok audio someone get it pls 😞) PLEASE I NEED HIM SB ,, liking, reblogging & commenting is deeply appreciated <3

© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified

The feeling of failure haunted you with every step you took, clinging into you like a young youngling's attention would to master's movements and sentences during a lesson. Everywhere you went, it followed to remind you how things could turn out and you despised it to the very core.

There were lot of things you didn't like but when it came to disappointing others and failing them, that was something entirely different. The feeling a heavy weight of someone's disappointed glance being put on your shoulders made you anxious, even thinking about it was bad enough. So you tried your best, always putting their feelings and life ahead of yours, just like Jedi were taught to do.

You basically weren't allowed to make any mistakes and you did good on that part, there was barely a mission you didn't succeed in. But some days just weren't make for victories and words couldn't express enough how much you dreaded them.

You were afraid to fail your master. She was the first person in the entire Jedi Temple who saw enough potential in your being to take you under her wings and train you like her own. Both of you knew about the attachments and why they weren't allowed to be formed, but she took the risk for her, for you and made your special childhood as normal (for a Jedi child) as she could. Master Floren understood the future she had written for both of you if the Council found out but she took her chances and you'd grateful until your last moment in the galaxy.

You were afraid to fail your Padawan. Cal Kestis was a sweet child, unusually wise for his age with strong determination to learn and that made him such a pleasure to have as your student. At first you were a bit uptight about being assigned a Padawan learner but the more time you spend with Cal, the more you realized you don't have to be scared of such a responsibility.

And you were more than afraid to fail Anakin. Anakin, who stood at your side since the beginning of your training as a Padawan learner and kept you a welcoming company when your friends turned their backs to you. Anakin, who tried his hardest and succeeded in making you laugh when you felt like crying, watching the sad tears turn into ones of happiness. Anakin, whose future was devoted to you and you only.

They were the closest people to you, people who ignored a big part of the Jedi code and if you failed any of them, if anything happened to them because you weren't able to protect them like you swore to yourself you would, you didn't think you could live with that.

A shift beside you and the rustle of your sheets bought you back to the reality, making your negative thoughts disappear just for a while. "You alright, my love?"

Your back was turned to Anakin and you found yourself being relieved by it, the position making it impossible for him to see your face expression. You knew he had his own problems and things to worry about ─ he wouldn't make you feel any less important and act as if your problems weren't valid ─ but if he saw you in your anxious state, you would not bear it. Having your worry added to Anakin's shoulders was something you didn't want to do in the slightest.

"I'm okay, Ani. Go back to sleep."

A beat of silence, then Anakin's hand sneaked to rest comfortably on the curve of your waist, three fingers tapping the skin in nonexistent rythm. "You know I won't go to sleep if you don't." That was true. He often took his time getting ready to bed, always laying down under the blankets after you. It brought some strange way of comfort to his mind, knowing you made it next to him whole and well. "I couldn't sleep anyway." That was the truth as well.

You turned to face him, his light eyes now resembled the dark sky like the old ink in the way older books you'd spent time reading together as younglings and you found yourself drowning in the blue of them. "I'm just ... anxious again. With the war raging at it's fullest, I'm scared for Cal. He's so young, Anakin. And Master Floren? I can't lose her, she's the only family I have left." Besides you.

Anakin's palm made a contact with your cheek, his thumb caressing the skin under your eye with such care you thought you had imagined it. "It's okay to think like that, sweetheart. You are allowed to feel emotions. You're scared and that's normal. I'm worried for Ahsoka as well, but they are smart for their age, not to mention the training they are going through. They're going to be safe, okay, angel? Both of them."

You leaned into the comfort of Anakin's touch, slightly relaxing in his presence. He was right, all of them are going to be fine. Master Floren. Cal and Ahsoka. Anakin.

His hand went to the back of your head, pushing it lightly to rest on his chest, your ears registering the sound of his gentle heartbeat which was slowly lulling you into a much needed sleep. Anakin knew what you needed and Force help him if he didn't do exactly what was productive for your well being. Your head heaved with every breath he took and you could feel the kisses of his cold lips being pressed into your hairline with his arms tightening around your frame, making you finally feel at ease that day.

"Everything will be alright, love. I'll make sure of it."

And as a whole war was raging out there, you felt at peace in the arms of your beloved lover.

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