#but I lowkey don't want to do anything. am I depressed

[cherrychapati]

hi girlies in my phone i feel like shit

[jhkfan123]

you're losing me | coriolanus snow

pairing: coriolanus snow x !fem reader

in which: after a work trip, y/n finds coriolanus with another woman

warnings: angst, conflict, cheating, shouting, panic attack, no happy ending (only read if you want to depressed)

wc: 1.8k

a/n: i'm actually not sure where this came from but i am lowkey proud of the writing.

"you say 'i don't understand' and i say 'i know you don't'"

you were so excited to come home early. surprise him. bring home his favorite dinner for him.

you had been gone three days now. it was a trip for all the interns at the job you had been interning at. in fact, you were studying your favorite subject. you were desperately looking forward to actually starting your career with the people you were now working with. but they had let you come home a day early. because today was your birthday, and you wanted to spend it with the love of your life.

with the bag of food in your hand, you opened the door to the penthouse. it was dark out, and there were no lights on, so you flipped one on. he was not in the main room, so you placed the food on the kitchen table and began to search for him. you checked the living room, nothing, so you headed for your bedroom. from under the door, you could see that the lights were off, which had you thinking maybe he wasn't home. nevertheless, you opened the door.

you shouldn't have. you should have stayed on your regular path. you should not have come home early, then you could have lived with him blissfully unaware.

but you did. you opened the door. and you found him, with clemensia dovecote. giving her kisses in places he hadn't given you in a long time. he quickly stopped when he heard the door creak open. the two of them immediately started shuffling around, and you slammed the door. you gazed at the closed door for a moment, realizing what you had just seen. then you ran to the bathroom, and locked the door. you slid down on the door, and began to breath very heavily.

every time you tried to capture your breath, you would lose more air. every time you tried to breath in and out, in and out, in and out, you just choked. you felt warm tears stream down your cheeks, which sent you into another spiral. you ran your hands through your hair and tried to get yourself together.

you had been dating him for three years. three years. three years. and now he throws it all away? since senior year. the two of you had been dating, since before the 10th hunger games. He went away to district 12, and when he came back, he came running back to you.

you never thought this of him. he was protective, and jealous, and seemed to be obsessed with you.

on the bathroom floor, you tried to calm down. you tried the only thing you knew.

five things you can see: the floor, the sink, the toilet, the shower, the candle on the counter.

four things you can touch: the cold floor, the towel hanging low on the rack, your own arm, the drawer near you

three things you can hear: the buzz of the air conditioner, your breath, and shuffling in the hallway. that didn't help

two things you can smell: the lingering scent of the candle from when it had most recently burned, and the scent of your body wash in the shower, even though it was faint

one thing you can taste: the salty tears now running into your mouth.

you could now take slightly deeper breaths. you realized you would have to go out there soon. maybe you would wait two minutes. maybe clemensia would leave.

clemensia. you hadn't even seen her since graduation. you thought he hadn't either. clearly that was wrong.

the two of you had a strange relationship. you were always jealous of her, but for some reason, she was always jealous of you too. anything you would do, she would do better. and anything she would do, you would do better. it was a constant battle to be on top.

you thought you had won. you got the guy, the grades, the job, everything. now you weren't so sure.

you took one final deep breath, attempted to balance and get yourself up. you unlocked the door, and almost opened it. but then a knock was heard from the other side of it. you opened the door and saw coriolanus with his head down. you pushed past him and made your way for the kitchen. he began to walk behind you.

"hey, i-" you heard. you pivoted on your foot and stopped abruptly. he jumped back.

"what the fuck, coryo." was all you could get out. he winced at his nickname. "really! clemensia dovecote!" you felt tears stream down your face again.

"look, it didn't mean anything" he sighed out.

"that's all you can come up with? coryo," he looked like he hurt more each time you said his name "then why would you do it in the first place!" you shouted. you didn't mean to, but it wasn't your decision. it just happened.

"i," he began to stutter. you could tell he was trying to make up excuses.

"please don't make excuses. be an adult." you said. you closed your eyes to get the remaining tears out.

"i don't know." he responded. you sighed with immense disappointment.

"yes you do. yes you do." every time you were stressed, you had a habit of repeating yourself. it was comforting, hearing yourself. "you wouldn't-" you took a deep breath. "you wouldn't have done it if you didn't have a reason." now he took a breath.

"she had been reaching out to me a lot recently. i didn't tell you anything because i didn't think it was anything. then-"

"how long." you asked. he looked up at you as you interrupted him. "how long have you been with her." you desperately wanted to know. "how long have i only been loving half of you. how long have i only been loved by half of you" you asked.

"i swear, i swear it was only tonight." he said. that actually made it worse.

"coryo, it's my birthday." you choked on tears that were now streaming down your face again.

"i, know. i know." he seemed to be kicking himself. he attempted to get closer to you, but you backed up. now the two of you were on opposite sides on the island.

"what did i do." you asked. double the amount of tears were coming down now. "how badly did i screw up that you did this."

"you did nothing, my love. it's my-"

"do not call me that." you cut him off. he nodded in acceptance that he didn't get that right anymore. he didn't get any part of you anymore. you could have swore you say his eyes get teary, now.

"she came on to me." he explained.

"you could have got her off. but you didn't. you kissed her. and you kept kissing her. and you took your shirt off. and that's the image i walked in on. do not put this on her. yes, she shouldn't have done that, but it's your responsibility, coryo. it's your responsibility to tell her no." now a tear did stream down his face as he listened to you. "so i ask you again, what did i do?" you felt yourself getting weak. you were so disheveled and out of it that you hadn't realized how hungry you actually were.

"you didn't do anything." he responded, fairly quickly.

"then why!? why would you ever do this!" you shouted again. snot getting everywhere and your vision become more blurry with each tear.

"it just happened. you didn't do anything. and i'm a horrible person and i know this is a horrible situation and you don't deserve this at all, but please, believe me, when i tell you that i love you." the words stung you like an alcohol wipe on an open wound. the words felt like a stab in your back, like a stab in your heart.

he made his way over to you again. you were to weak to back up. you looked up at him, your vision allowing you to just barely see his silhouette.

"coriolanus, i don't even know if i can believe you anymore." you crumpled this time. the tears all came out at once. you began to sob, and then your legs gave up. you fell to the floor in agony. you felt coriolanus grab you, and you didn't move. you had no energy to. but how could he even allow himself to touch you like this?

he got down onto the floor with you, and held you around your chest while you sobbed. he didn't say anything. he was probably lost in the smoke of his guilt, that had now flooded the entire penthouse.

the warmth of his body would have normally felt comforting, like cuddling in a warm blanket. but not now. you were ice cold. shivering from your hunger, and your tears. not even the heat of his body could melt the quickly freezing heart you had for him.

it felt like hours passed before you finally managed to see your surroundings. when you managed to finally calm yourself down enough to stand, you moved yourself away from coriolanus. then you sat. both of you, at the island.

the two of you were silent. the two of you had nothing left to say. the two of you had nothing left to do. all you could do was do the next right thing. and in your mind, that was to go somewhere. anywhere but here.

"i'm leaving." you got up, took a second to gain your balance, you still hadn't eaten after all, and grabbed your bag.

"it's freezing out. please, stay." he begged. his eyes were also dried out from the tears he shed.

"i walked here, earlier. i can walk back." you replied.

"where will you go?" he asked. you thought. you had moved in with him after graduation. his home was the only one you knew for the last three years of your life.

"i'm going to go stay with a friend. and then, i am going to come back, in a few weeks, and get my stuff. move out." you laid out your plan for him. you saw another tear fall from his face.

"are you sure?" he asked.

"coriolanus, i'll be fine." you began to make your way towards the door. then, you paused. a single tear flowed down. "i will miss you, though. i hope you know that." you said. you refused to turn back. you refused to look at him. if you did, you thought you might go running back to him. if you did, you would never look away again. so you opened the door.

"i'm always going to love you. and i'm always going to be here. for you." he said. your heart begged you to look back, but you couldn't. not after that.

and, even though it slowly broke every part of you. you steadily closed the door behind you.

[x0x0josephinex0x0]

comfort | kmg

i am feeling icky (physically and mentally and basically in all the ways, send help lol) and as always mingyu is my comfort human so i guess i was just feeling it. reader is mentioned to be an introvert. also reader is in a bad place mentally, lowkey is implied to be a depressive episode (self-insert? hi). kinda sorta from mingyu's pov. pet names used (honey, baby, my love). kinda sorta based on this song (How to Love You Today by Son of Cloud).

mingyu understands the difference between being introverted and being quiet -- after all, he's friends with hoshi, an introvert, who can blow his eardrums at a moment's notice. he's also dating you, and while you're no hoshi, you're definitely not a wonwoo, either.

more than understanding the difference between quiet and introverted, though, he knows you. so he knows that look you have in your eyes -- the hollow, dull look that steals over your features, sometimes for weeks at a time, while you struggle to feel anything at all. he sees it in you now as you stare out the window at the gloomy clouds gathering over the hills.

it's getting bad again. he knows it. you're usually so still when you sleep, and so splendidly expressive while you're awake, but recently that has switched -- your dreams are restless and your sleep-talking more vocal, and you spend more time sitting and staring than you do normally, your face blank and empty, your hands cold whenever he reaches for them. these are the kinds of days that sap you of your saturation, leaving you feeling listless and drained -- times when mingyu has to remind you in gentle tones to eat, to come to bed, to join him in the shower. your mind is not always kind to you, so mingyu has made it his personal mission to be so.

the worst part is, you've stopped singing. when you'd been "just friends", sometimes your constant humming and vocalizing would peeve mingyu when he was trying to concentrate, but after living with you for almost two years, he barely notices it anymore. in fact, he only really notices when you stop, and it's one of his first indicators that something is off about you.

he's been waiting for you to tell him what's going on. usually he can tell you're in a bad state before you can, but mingyu also knows that if he tells you he's noticed, you'll start trying to hide it from him. because you don't want to be a burden. (the thought of you ever being too much for him is laughable to mingyu. he loves you like it's breathing -- just an instinct, something he never even needs to think about, because it's just that easy. every person is heavy sometimes, so why was it so unreasonable for you, his most beloved and treasured person, to believe that he'd willingly carry you, no matter how heavy you got?)

so he waits, staying aware of you always, noting how the dark circles under your hollow eyes get more pronounced. and he worries, of course he does. but he also knows that one day, soon, you'll --

"mingyu?"

he's in the kitchen shredding lettuce for a sandwich for you when he hears it: that tiny voice you use when you're sort of kind of hoping he doesn't turn around to look at you. because you're on the verge of tears, or you look like hell, or a million other reasons that he couldn't care less about. so he turns around. "hey baby. what's up?"

"i...i don't feel good."

that's really all he needs. that's really all it takes, if he's being honest with himself. he goes to you where you hover in the doorway, afraid to take up space, and pulls you into his arms. "i know, honey. i've got you."

there's nothing like the feeling of having your tense muscles relax into him, the way your body releases all that angst as he runs a warm hand up and down your back. you lean your head against his shoulder and repeat, "you got me?" softly, almost embarrassed.

but even as mingyu's heart aches for you -- even as the tears prick the back of his eyes as he thinks of how you must've been suffering -- he feels so grateful. grateful that you trust him. grateful that you feel safe enough to do what he knows is so scary for you. grateful that you choose to do it despite everyone in the past who has made you feel inadequate for needing a hand.

he presses one, two, three kisses to your temple. "i've got you, my love. i've always got you."

[enbyfrogwrites]

oh lil headcannons cuz yuh

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i think this is gonna be both nsfw and sfw- so chef kiss-

headcannons about mr gojo satoru (and him being your good pet)

tags: nsfw, pegging, oral both receiving, name calling (satoru getting called slut,,etc etc), sub!gojo, needy!gojo, reader is nb coded as per usual (afab cuz i am duh), reader is also FAT not chubby or chunky- we talkin 2 sum to do sum. reader is also mixed coded

there's some sfw but this is gonna be mostly nsfw i guess, anyways don't like? don't read. minors and ageless blogs dni PLEASE

word count: ~1.5k (yikes this is just rambling tho)

sfw:

-oh man gojo's whipped,, oh you mention something you was thinking about?? oh he's getting it for you even though you didn't ask him to

-he purposely gets you clothes that shows your tummy and stretch marks, more cuz he likes looking at them at any point when you two are in public than anything else

-gets upset when you have random bouts of depression and low esteem about your body. (you initially thought that he was shallow and didn't want to be seen with you out in public because of your apron belly and back rolls...he quickly shut that down)

-purposely holds you in front of his big ass mirror that he has in his room...for reasons...ahem,, he holds firmly as he murmurs softly in your ear about how much he loves you and what he loves to look at on you

-whenever he eats sweets, he always gets extra of what you've told him that you liked, always (he's not going to tell you, but you've found his stash of snacks that he has specifically for you)

-unconsciously he does in fact grab at your apron belly. not even like to feel it or anything,, it's like a comfort thing???? like you two watching tv and cuddling? grabs. you're washing dishes and he comes from behind you? your stomach is the first thing he holds when he wraps his arms around you

-your belly and thighs are gojo's fave place to lay on. hands down. your warmth radiates and he's addicted...

-also when people call him a chubby chaser, he immediately shuts it down. not that he's ashamed of you or anything, just the fact that he thinks it's stupid as hell to have a label. he fell in love with you for You, not your looks or shape, Duh.

-not to be an asshole, but when gojo first saw how physically strong you were when you defeated a curse with not a single scratch on you? he deadass was shocked lowkey; not in a way of fat shaming or anything just the fact that you're a shit ton stronger than he thought tbh

-if it happens that you're a teacher in the school, he would specifically visit your classroom to just be a bother. sitting in the back of the class and asking dumb questions so you can huff and pout your cheeks on your beautiful round cheeks at him.

-his favorite thing to do is make you smile. his wallpaper on his phone is when you two were on a date and he took a picture of you when you weren't paying attention.

-speaking of pictures, he gets so upset when you don't like to take pics of yourself. on multiple occasions when you said anything mentioning your double chin, your rolls, the way your stomach looks in your clothes, etc etc; gojo get's so frustrated with you. like how can you not see how perfect you look to him

-for the first time you spent the night at his place for whatever reason, you REFUSED to have any part of your skin showing, you wore pants, socks, a big ass tshirt. gojo literally was so heartbroken that when you two got up in the morning he had a discussion about how much he loves you.

uhhhhhhhhhhh i guess n//sfw neooooow:

-the first time you and gojo got intimate? you initially actually refused to be touched, all you did was constantly give him handjobs and blowjobs. tbh it was frustrating the hell out of the both of you, but you "didn't want to scare him off"

-when you finally actually slept with the poor man, you were a ball of nerves. you refused to take off your shirt at first, and only let him hit it from the back for a while.

-that shit deadass broke gojo's heart, almost to tears tbh. when you started to cry the first time you stood completely naked in front of him. it took time to calm you down, but gojo was so appalled to find out that you thought so low about yourself.

-after the first time he saw you naked, gojo purposely began Worshipping you, making sure that you Knew that he loved literally every single inch of your body

-when you finally built up the courage to ride him? GYAT DAYUM. to say gojo was in heaven? was an understatement. when he saw you, and your absolutely perfect body bouncing on his cock? to say he came so fast that he almost had a trolley horse??? he didn't wait to recover from his orgasm before flipping you on your back and fucking folded you in half and plowed you

-gojo's favorite thing he ever got for his birthday was you in lingerie. so serious. you never dressed up in anything "scandalous". you told him you felt too self-conscious and embarrassed. which gojo didn't want to push the issue since he at least got you to feel comfortable to be naked around him. (1/4)

-continuing his birthday. it was late at night when you two came from celebrating his birthday. you told him to sit on his bed while you wanted to go to his bathroom to "freshen up". He already had you dress in his favorite clothes so he was half hard the whole evening to be frank. but when you came out of his bathroom, cladded in delicate phthalo green lace, with matching garters and thigh highs; gojo almost passed out how fast his cock hardened. (2/4)

-how can you look so ethereal?? you felt so embarrassed because you were just standing there, and he was just...Staring at you. you began to shy away from gojo before he finally opened his mouth. when on closer inspection, you saw he had to wipe his face since he was drooling. (3/4)

-"no no no no please- no don't go-" the words fumble out of gojo's mouth, cracking at the end. his bright eyes round as saucers as he made his way to where you were by the bathroom door. he fell to his knees as he gazed on your body- your stretch marks and rolls on clear display. to say in the least when he begged where you got your set from- he BOUGHT THE WHOLE STORE (4/4 fin bday thing)

-his favorite thing he loves to eat is sweets-that's what he tells everyone. cake, cookies, mochi, fruit, you,, the last one he doesn't tell anyone else. but to him that's his favorite thing to eat, Ever. oh you had a bad day at work? he eats you out for forever. He had a bad day at work? he eats you out for forever. tbh when he's bored he kinda navigates himself towards your hole. it's so addicting to him. makes him hard just thinking of what you taste like- even when he's in the middle of a mission.

-oop he didn't tell Anyone. but You found out his secret. everyone depends on gojo; his friends, family, clan, students...everyone has to count on him. he's the strongest of course. not to you though. never to you... when you and him were bickering on what position to be in, your voice cut through him. you Demanded him to lay down and let you take control. (1/6 sub gojo)

-the Whimper that left that poor man's throat? was so Delectable. You felt your eyes blink owlishly at gojo before you immediately climb on top of him. your hands quickly coming up to his chest before going further up to the meaty parts of his shoulders. you swiftly put a lot of your weight on your hands, pinning gojo to the bed. (2/6)

-"ohhhh if i knew you were such a Slut, i've would've done this ages ago" the only noise that came out of your boyfriend's mouth a choked whine as you watched his already flushed face, turn even redder. his head involuntarily nodding at your words. (3/6)

-"y-yeah im your slut" was the only sentence gojo can muster before his pretty eyes screwed tight in embarrassment. OH? oh- now this is new. you didn't think he was soo...nasty. so needy and you can watch how your boyfriend unconsciously leaned into your touch like a man starved. (4/6)

-your right hand came up and grabbed gojo's face, squishing his cheeks as your face came closer to his. your boyfriend's eyes shot open at your harsh grip, and you can see his eyebrows furrow so cutely together. you also happen to notice that his cock bounced and twitched almost violently when you FORCED gojo to look you in your eyes (5/6)

-"prove it then. prove that you're my slut. i want you to cum as many times as i want you to, but you have to tell me Every time" well, everyone knew he was loud anyways but you were so glad that your boyfriend lived in his own home- his screams most definitely would've caused a noise complaint (6/6 sub gojo)

***so anyways i think i wrote enough bc i feel like this wasn't even that good. shrugs. anyways pls send me any good ideas to write about...i think im just a sub!jjk blog atp idk

[ghostiguro]

heket has arrived!! she's so bbg omg, love her. :3

i've been done her & sham's ref sheets for like a week now i've just been lowkey depressed but i digress.

ok ramble time!!!

for her design, i felt like she'd wanna wear something more comfy & practical than anything. & while i was doing research i learned that frogs breathe through their skin, so i wanted to make sure she had enough skin exposed that she could do that. thus, cool pants were born. love them, they look sick af.

as it says in the ref sheet, she has the magical ability to summon locusts!! i wanted to give her some more abilities besides brute force & strength, & during her boss fight she throws up flies at you, so i thought it would be a fun idea, since locusts are often associated with famine & that is her domain.

her design will probably evolve with time; looking at it now, i think she looks a little too slim, & her skin looks much more desaturated than it did while i was drawing it so i will probably adjust that in the future. i also wanted to add tattoos, since in her boss / eldritch form she has eyes all over her little frog tummy, & i am a sucker for characters with tattoos... >.>

as i mentioned in one of the previous bishops posts (can't remember which it was), she is the most physically strong out of all of them & could easily beat them in a fist fight; where she struggles is with speed & a bit of agility. she can jump really high & has hella glute strength, but she isn't super quick on her toes compared to the others.

after shamura's injury, she kind of took charge of things. she's a little bit bossy, but mostly because of the position she was put in & the fact that she's very protective of her siblings, especially after the whole family drama thing, yk. after being indoctrinated, she has a hard time getting used to not being in charge; on one hand, it's a bit of a relief, but on the other, it's very foreign to her so it takes her awhile to fully adjust to things.

i know she's technically supposed to be a toad, but all toads are considered frogs & it's much more fun to call her a froggy so. don't correct me, i refuse to hear it. la la la la la, can't hear you.

i think that's about it for now? in terms of coming up with her design & other info, i've struggled the most with her. :,3 sigh.

[sl33paholics]

Let's Start The Day Together.

Retsu Kaioh x black!fem reader

Warning(s): mentions of mental health / illnesses (social anxiety n depression), body image issues, social anxiety

I've been having a shitty, exhausting week. I had a huge exam on Tuesday and am now off for the rest of the week until my other exam. Had a health scare, so that wasn't good lol so I wanted to make this writing piece for comfort. This is more of a self-insert, but lowkey made it an "x reader" in case people can relate

It's hot.

You can feel small sweat glands running down your face as you scratch your durag to relieve the itching you had from last night, letting out a huft as you lay on your messy bed trying to get comfortable. You don’t know if it was the fact that you just woke up or if you were going crazy but somehow, this felt like a dream.

You felt sticky.

You were in heat.

You shifted your attention from the ceiling to the small clock on your desk. It was after 1:30 pm.

Your body temperature felt way hotter than normal, especially since you had slept with a sports bra on with your long, baggy ass shorts. Your durag smelled like sweat, and your skin smelled disgusting. You didn’t want to go to work today. But at least the heat was tolerable. You tried to rub away some of the sweat with a shirt that's been sitting on your bed for days, but that only made it worse.

You groaned, sitting up and rubbing your temples. Your head was pounding, making you nauseous.

Taking a good look around your decent-sized spaced room, it was a mess. Sorta. It was a chore to clean up when you have containers filled with unused clothes that you don't bother to wear, boxes of items that you hadn't opened once you moved out those years ago, or even your books that you had yet to read. Your closet looked like there was never an organization to it whatsoever; your bookshelves were mostly empty except for your favorite books. You had no pictures of family that hung anywhere. Everything seemed to be in the same state you left it in.

Why bother to clean? You'd always ask yourself, no one visits. So why would you bother taking care of anything? Maybe you could take a shower. Maybe. Hopefully. You weren't sure what else to do to cool off, besides sleep. You slowly stood up, stretching your arms above your head while yawning. When you finally decided that it was enough to rest for now, you made your way into your bathroom.

At least you took care of your living room. It looks decent if you're ignoring the fact that it took almost a month to finally get off your lazy ass to do something about it. It smells nice and feels nice as if a huge weight got lifted off whenever you step out of your horrid room.

After you did your business, you couldn't help but look at yourself in the mirror. Baggy eyes, stretch marks from your arms to the lower half of your stomach, and your unkempt hair. As if you looked homeless. As if you were lost in a trance, you didn't hear your front door being unlocked and opened by someone who had a spare key. You didn't even realize someone was in your apartment until they walked in.

"Y/N?" a voice called out to you as you shifted your attention to the person behind you, Retsu standing at the doorway with bags in his hand. Restu must've come over here because he wanted to check if everything was okay. "Did you just wake up? Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." He'd say, looking away to the side. You couldn't help but wonder if he wasn't used to seeing you in your condition. "I just wanted to make sure you're alright," he finished. His brows furrowed as he stared you dead in the eye. Was Retsu mad at you? That doesn't seem possible, but maybe he was just concerned for you? You shook it off, deciding not to dwell on it too much.

"Yeah," you replied awkwardly, putting your hands in your pockets. "I'm just feeling kind of under the weather right now... but I'll be alright." You trailed off, giving him a smile. As the two of you were settling down, you noticed that Retsu brought groceries and other things you'd need. You knew he was trying to make you feel better, so you appreciated it. You didn't even realize how hungry you were until Retsu mentioned food. How embarrassing, how did I forget about food? You thought, biting your lip sheepishly. It was quiet between you two. The only noise in the apartment was Retsu putting stuff away and making the two of you lunch. Once he was finished, he placed plates in front of you on the coffee table while he sat down across from you. You thanked him.

Silence. What was there to even talk about? You felt bad. Retsu did all this and took time out of his day to come to see you, only for you to not spark up a conversation. You let out a loud sigh. "Y/N." You looked over at him, noticing a soft expression on his face. It seemed to be a mixture of concern and pity. "Something's bothering you."

"Retsu, please..." You began. He held his hand up, stopping you immediately.

"Just tell me what's wrong."

"But-"

"No, Y/N," he interrupted sternly, "I've been texting you for days now. I haven't gotten one reply once. You're not looking too well, what happened? Your co-workers are saying you're not showing up to work either." Retsu would ask again. He was starting to sound annoyed. He leaned back on his chair, crossing his arm.

You sighed, knowing he wouldn't take no for an answer. "Okay. Fine." You looked back at your food, not sure what to say. The silence stretched for what felt like forever before you started speaking up again. "I'm just having one of those moments...y'know? I don't know. I don't think I left this building in a week?" You let out a nervous giggle, but you could tell Retsu wasn't happy with your response. "I don't have anybody who I consider friends that I can hang out with. I have work-friends. Not best friends. They do not acknowledge me outside of that, so I've just been in here in my room." You'd say turning your attention away from Retsu, your eyebrows frowning at what you just said.

Retsu didn't respond. You felt a pang of guilt run through you. He probably thinks you're a loser for talking to him like this. You rambled on how much it was difficult to wake up on time, and if you did, you didn't want to go anywhere for the day. You neglected your hygiene and physical appearance. Going on and on, you felt overwhelmed every time you looked in the mirror. You finally stopped your rant once you felt your throat clogging up and tears running down your face.

You sniffled, wiping at your eyes, hoping to catch them before you cry.

Retsu didn't move or speak for a few seconds, and then you heard him stand up from his seat. Before you could protest, you felt strong arms wrap themselves around you, hugging you tightly. You hugged him back as you felt your breath catch in your throat. "If it makes you feel better... I woke up around one o'clock. Last time, I woke up around six in the evening." You said with a chuckle to lighten up the mood. You let him go, but not before resting your hands on his chest to keep him at arm's length. You could feel your heart racing.

Retsu chuckled. "It does," he admitted. A genuine was spread across your face, the first one you'd smiled in weeks. You wiped at your eyes again before giving Retsu another hug. It was warm. You missed the warmth of him around you. He gave you another pat on your back before pulling away from the hug. He got on one knee before clasping your hand tightly. "I'm glad you told me what's been going on, Y/N." Retsu would say as you noticed his thumb was caressing on top of your hand. "And whatever's bothering you now, I'll do my best to help you." The sincerity in his voice was hard to ignore. You were touched by his words. "I'll stay the night here with you." Retsu would say, standing up again.

"You don't have to, I can take care of myself..." You tried to tell him. Retsu shook his head.

"I know, but that doesn't mean I can't watch over you, y'know." He gave you a reassuring smile as he offered his hand again to help you up. You took it hesitantly, allowing him to pull you up. "Let's leave in a few minutes. Getting fresh air is always good for the body." Retsu suggested.

You agreed easily, still feeling a little bit guilty for not opening up to him sooner. If only you had. But you were happy enough to have a guy like Retsu around to assist you during your roughest times.

[expectopatronum18]

Unpopular opinion but......

Am I the only one who misses the og marauders? The marauders fandom isn't even about the marauders now, 99% of their canon personality traits hv been replaced with cliqued behaviour. For some reason there's a massive obsession with their sexuality and I just don't get it? Lyk can't u have a character with any sexual orientation with personality traits outside it anymore? Does there really need to be a complete erasure of their most defining traits? I just wish we could get the actual marauders era characters back

James Potter: Pureblood, rich, intelligent, arrogant, a bully, but extremely loyal; took Sirius in and turned into an animagus for his werewolf bestie when the whole world would have shunned him; he could have led a life of utmost comfort but chose to risk his life and fight for those he loved in a war that didn't even concern him personally. His last words were asking his wife and child to escape while he tried to hold voldy off without a wand

Sirius Black: Haughty, a bully, extremely good looking, cool, rich, blood traitor by 16, comes from a family of literal death eaters, very intelligent, loyal, will do anything for those he loves( especially james and later Harry), thick as hell (my boy really survived in a depression prison for 12yrs, tht too after all the horror he'd seen before that), dark, very traumatized and broken

Remus Lupin: Gentle (yup u read that right), kind, mischievous (ppl really overlook this), very insecure, let james and Sirius bully Snape coz he was too thankful for their acceptance and affection to tell them off, considered himself undeserving of love, his self loathing prevents him from being a responsible adult/ parent for Harry, lowkey manipulative. Very compassionate and empathetic even after everything he's been thru tho

Peter Pettigrew: Considered slow and stupid, insecure, tags along with the others for protection, but obviously cunning and manipulative, a disgusting rat tho

Regulus Black: Teenage Reggie worshipped death eaters, he had newspaper clippings of them on his wall, completely believed in those racist ideologies until he realised what the reality of being a death eater was. He tried to bring voldy down but there's no evidence of him completely changing his beliefs about everything else like muggle borns, muggles, werewolves etc. Very cunning and intelligent tho, he discovered voldemort's secret before Dumbledore did. Liked kreacher but kreacher was also brainwashed with pureblood ideology, so I ll only give him half the credit. Bravely sacrificed his life in the end, but he still chose to protect his racist family.

Lily Evans: muggleborn, good at portions, described as popular and vivacious, pretty, the favourite sibling, isn't afraid of standing up to ppl (tht smirk in swm tho?), very brave, and most importantly (ppl really choose to forget this nowadays) a mother who stood in front of her baby boy in hopes of saving him from the darkest wizard alive even tho she herself was only 21 at the time, tht too right after losing her husband. Tho I'd still say that lily is a badly written character

It's fun to explore characters but not one of these core characteristics r even present. They're turned into one dimensional social justice warriors who r always right in everything they do

Now I get it, ppl want them to fit with current day ideals, but y not just create different/new characters then? What's the point of holding on to that nostalgia if most of their character isn't even there anymore? Where's all the toxicity coming from? And anyone who doesn't agree is homophobic and whatever other -phobic u choose to employ in the most irrelevant context ever. It's all so stupid smh🙄

[sunthyme]

Hehehe. Part two baby! Be prepared! (Pun absolutely intended) Also, to the people who are yelling the the tags, I love you guys! I read them all and I can't say thank you enough. It genuinely means a ton!🩷🩷🩷

Enough of me being sappy,

🌻Savanaclaw🌻

Disclaimer: Savanaclaw is like lowkey my favourite dorm, not in terms of redesigns but I love the characters. Huge Leona fan and Jack and Ruggie are my children so I will not stop talking about them. You have been warned.

First up, though y'all have seen him already,

♟️Leona Kingscholar♟️

(he/him) - Unlabelled but doesn't care about gender

I snuck in a lil treat of my work in progress housewarden card. The jumpscare it was to toggle my version with the og card underneath, y'all. Am I making my version of pretty much all his cards? Yes. Will they ever be finished? Who knows? Anyways, onto the headcanons...

- Physically, I feel like I changed a lot and not a lot at the same time. I gave him some more scars which I guarantee you are from really stupid accidents.

- Piercing on his ears just cause I felt they fit him and snakebites because (I'm so down bad for them) it gave the illusion of fangs even with his mouth closed. Gave him moles cause they're pretty.

- I textured his hair and gave him a shit ton more because if the og design won't AT LEAST give him fluffier hair, what's the point? Yana Toboso, if you don't give this man a high ponytail in the Clubwear Card, I will hunt you down. Also made his front, larger braids the colour of Cheka's (And presumably Farena's) hair because honestly? They didn't really look similar enough? Also threw in some smaller braid to 'tie' them in more (haha).

- Someone gave him like this cool inverted pupil due to a scene in the movie but I simplified it to basically heterochromia.

- This might be hardly noticeable but I give give him slightly more muscle? I felt it suited him more idk.

- Onto non-physical headcanons, he has 💕depression💕! This is kinda not up for debate given how much he exemplifies the symptoms. Hell, he made me realise that I may have depression cause I was like, "Damn, he's so relatable, not wanting to get out of bed, no motivation to do anything, struggling to care of himself. He just like me frfr- oh..."

- By the way, I see a lot of people talking about Ruggie's reaction to the fallout of Book 2 but I think that on Leona's side, he felt horrible and probably locked himself away for a WHILE. I think his mental state must have been terrible and I'm SO PISSED HIS FCKING PROBLEMS NEVER GOT BROUGHT AGAIN WTF! Well, I'm on Book 4 so maybe???

- Anyways, I saw someone posit he could also be autistic, more on the asymptomatic side which is actually growing on me a lot. Picky eater, doesn't like tighter clothes, not fond of loud noises, smaller things but I'm a fan.

- Really random but I like the idea that he's one of those people who kids love for literally no reason, he just doesn't like to be around them.

- Is actually extremely book smart, though that's kinda already canon but I mean this bitch was a nerd when he was younger. Knows way too much on various topics, especially about his homeland.

- He can purr. I know lion's can't but there are literal mer and fae. He's just a big kitty. My and Idia like 🤞 when it comes to thinking of Leona as just a big meow. I have a cat who doesn't like anyone but I'm her favourite, I could win him over.

I could talk about him for sooooo long tbh so I'll shut up now.

Anyways, now for my boy,

💸Ruggie Bucchi💸

(he/she) Bigender - Biromantic Asexual

God I love my bigender child.

- I made him black, though probably mixed and gave him vitiligo for both visual flavour and a mild(?) reference to like hyena spots?

- He originally was going to have her hair down but then I realised how many of them had their natural hair already so I gave him dreads? I'll have to render them out at some point.

- Gave her more scars too, since she grew up in a more rough environment. Made his eyes really big and cute 'cause I feel like she can get extras when she hits 'em with the puppy eyes.

- Probably got mad ADHD, has to constantly be fiddling with something or another. Wears spinny rings a lot. He's actually really good at paying attention in class and likes to learn.

- Steals from Leona, whether it's money or items or clothes he leaves out (which, while Leona would never admit, he purposefully leaves out for Ruggie).

- Oh and a post pointed out that hyenas can purr, so have fun with that.

That's mostly it for now, but expect this list to grow lmao.

Now for,

💪Jack Howl💪

(he/him) - Queer (he doesn't know lol, just knows he likes dudes at this point)

Not me struggling to find a weight emoji (I failed) 😭😭😭

- Ah, I made a reference in the Heartslabyul post about my concern about darker skinned characters with white hair and I was mainly talking about Jack. I also had to make Kiki, and I figured that wolves have pretty naturally salt-and-pepper hair, so why not. I actually love how it looks omg, it's very pretty and marbled.

- Gave him darker skin, since I headcanon him as black but I did see someone who designed him as indigenous so it might change in the future idk. Also it makes his eyes almost glow and I love that for him.

- He gets more scars too, though likely from sports rather than fights or anything.

- He's autistic. Apologies that so many of them are autistic to me, not only am I autistic but like, the way they're written speaks to me. His whole moral compass being the reason for Book 2 playing out like it did was an immediate 'yes' from me. He's my boy and my son and I will fistfight anyone that smack talks him (looking at those Savannaclaw NPCs in one of Deuce's vignettes).

- Oh, I forgot. He listens to K-Pop. I don't know if it?s canon that he has younger siblings, though I totally think he does, but one of them accidentally got him into K-Pop and J-Pop so whenever he's at the gym, that's what he's listening to lmao. Specifically girl groups, he likes them enough that he knows all their names. He insists it's out of respect, which it is but he's also lowkey a stan too lol.

- Generally has a weakness for cute things, even if he doesn't show it. Also a total plant nerd omg. He could instruct you on pretty much any houseplant on how much sunlight and water it needs, seasonal changes, etc.

Final note is that I'll make a separate post about him and Epel, cause I love them and have some headcanons there too.

Now for my ocs!

💎Kiki Adebayo💎

Third Year - (she/her) Transfem - Aromantic Demisexual Sapphic

- Twisted from Rafiki? I think that's his name, the baboon. I'm crying sobbing throwing up that you can't see her eyes in this.

- She got the white hair since the fur on a baboon is directly white and took inspiration from Dislyte's Isis design. Her eyes are a pale gold like her earrings and she has red to blue eye shadow.

- Natural resting bitch face but she's just tired most of the time. She'd probably be the actual vice housewarden as I think her family has been close to Leona's for a long time, though she earned her spot with her own skills.

- Additionally, I wouldn't call her and Leona 'childhood friends' but she's known him for a long time. She's like, concerned about him as he's changed so much but she also worries that it's not her place. As a result, she tries to make sure Ruggie's not taking on too much and handles most of the dormhead duties herself.

God, she's so pretty omg anyways

👟Mandisa Jelani👟

Second Year - (they/she) Demi-girl - Pansexual

- Mandisa is also based on the hyenas, though I don't know if her and Ruggie are from the same pack necessarily.

- I gave her scars, moles, and some piercings as well, I just felt like they'd suit her.

- I think she and Jack would be relatively similar in terms of personality, I see her being the gruffer upperclassmen. I think she'd be rather protective of the first years, knowing how harsh the older dorm members can be and she does her best to make everyone feel welcome.

Next up,

🤘Rocío Chávez🤘

Second Year - (she/her but doesn't really care) Transfem - Panromantic Asexual

You'll never guess who she's based on /j

- My girlie based on Kronk from The Emperor's New Groove! Yes, she is a big and buff bimbo? Himbo? I don't know but she's got a heart of gold and head empty.

- I wanted to keep her physique cause it always annoys me when people genderbend a character but don't keep them proportional to their og design. Mini tangent over, she so silly I love her.

- She and my Yzma character met as first years and have been inseparable since, though I'll talk more about that later.

- Not a massive ton of characterisation sine it's been a while since I've seen this movie too but I'm always open to suggestions.

Finally, my silly

🎸Abayomi Furaha🎸

First Year - (she/they/it) Nonbinary - Bisexual

- My final baby from Savanaclaw, also based on a hyena. Specifically the lil bug-eyed one, but I gave her a lazy eye instead. Not sure how well that comes across but I tried.

- She's got scars, was definitely bullied as a kid and I think that once the dorm members consider her a part of the pack, they'd be super overprotective as a result.

- That being said, she's more than capable of defending herself as she's good at various martial arts.

- She's into rock music and joined the music club as a result. Probably a drummer or guitarist as I think she's insecure about her voice.

- She and Mandisa are quite close and she convinced them to dye the edges of her hair red. Abayomi wanted touch up hers and managed to get Mandisa in on to lol.

That's all for now! Stay tuned for Octavinelle and thank you so much for reading!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

am i the asshole for leading a guy on an low-key manipulating his feelings? (🐺 so i can find it later)

trigger warnings for mental health issues, family death, and suicide mentions.

title is kiiinda dramatic, i know. and i should be clear that i know that what i did was definitely wrong to a degree, but idk how messed up it was.

for context: i (19 f) was freshly seventeen and had just returned to in person school for my senior year after doing my junior year online at home. the majority of my best and only friend had forgotten me almost entirely and abandoned me despite our texting throughout my online year. new social circles had formed in my absence and i had a very difficult time readjusting, especially because i had come out of isolation with worsened anxiety, depression, and lowkey suicidal idealization. to top it all off, my grandfather who i adored had just died. i was desperately lonely and at the lowest i had ever been mentally in my entire life. i say this all not to excuse my actions but to provide some context as to why i acted the way i did.

so i meet this guy (i think like 15-16?) who we'll call finn. finn is a year below me but we share an elective class. we were initially drawn to each other bc we were both the only alt/geeky kids in the room and hit it off really well. and at first things are going pretty good; we eat lunch together every day, share music, talk about our interests etc. normal friend stuff.

but here's the part where i'm probably ta: finn had told me earlier on that he's the type to catch feelings super easy, so i guess i should've expected it, but he tells me that he has a crush on me. not directly though--he starts talking about this girl that he has feelings for but doesn't have the courage to confess to. and the first time he brought it up i didn't realize it was me and ofc tried to hype him up so he could confess and all that. but by the second conversation we have about it, it dawns on me that he's definitely talking about me. and i'm like "ah fuck," because the last person i wanted it to be was me--i'm mostly into girls, and also saw finn as a little brother more than anything else. but i keep hyping him up anyways saying stuff like "oh c'mon the worst she can do is say no! and even then you can at least move on with closure!"

so he takes my advice and confesses to me over text. i turn him down as politely as i can. which is where this whole thing should've ended tbh. but it didn't. his confession (even though it was over text) really endeared me and made me feel appreciated and beautiful in a way i never had been before. i'm not conventionally attractive + a plus size girl, and had never had anyone confess to me before, let alone say something as sincere and sweet as finn did to me. i was always the girl guys dared each other to ask out as a joke, yknow? it felt nice to know that someone saw me as desirable. again, this doesn't excuse my actions or justify them. just context.

so i decide that even though i know i'm not going to pursue anything with finn, i don't want him to lose interest in me either. so i start acting like i might be into him. tell him certain outfits make him look cute, go on and on about how much i love his hair (he really did have nice hair tbh), lean in a little closer when we talked, and constantly reassure him that he'd get a gf soon because good-looking, sweet and funny guys like him don't stay single for long.

he definitely notices bc he (again over text) asks if it's ok to be more physical when we interact. like can he hold my hand if we walk down the hall or whatever. this is definitely where i should've stopped, but i didn't. i kept up the pseudo-flirting bullshit.

and then he confesses (you guessed it! over text) for a second time, insisting that he really thinks that i like him back now. i tell him i don't know what he's talking about but that i'm happy to keep being friends with him. again, i don't stop the flirting-that's-not-quite-flirting.

this continues all the way until the end of the year. he tells me before i graduate that he really cares for me and doesn't want to lose touch after i leave. i promise him we won't. at this point i'd realized the gravity of my actions and had come to regret the way i treated finn, and decided the best course of action was to let our friendship fizzle out after i graduate. so i stop responding as frequently to him, he eventually stops reaching out until finally we lost contact and i delete his number.

i know that what happened was kinda fucked up, but how bad of a fuck up was this tumblr?

(secondary question: is this something that would've had a lasting impact on him and his view of relationships? i hope it isn't. i hope he forgot about me quickly. i hope he's doing better and has found someone who actually likes him.)

What are these acronyms?

[mayullla]

I really adore your haunted doll au! It's just a sweet story if you can ignore the fact that the doll is a yandere 😅. But overall, it's such an adorable story!

I have a brainrots or more like a scenario. What if when Y/n is been left alone at the house because her parents need to work some overtime. Then there is an intruder, who comes inside the house either to steal or kidnap her for some ransom money.

Sweet Y/n got curious by the weird sound but when they want to go check it out. One of the dolls (maybe Zhongli, Kazuha, or Venti) whispers to her not to do it and ignore the sound. While the rest of the doll going to go and handle the matter as subtly as possible.

And a little question from me. Can the doll move or have something like an astral projection in the real life? You know like in one of your stories (Dottore), they can even yank you away from certain places.

Genshin haunted dolls au;; and by that, I really mean horror, fem!child!reader, platonic yandere kind of au

Lowkey, I am not sure if this is really a sweet kind of story when deaths and horror are littered every with only you blind to everything. You didn't understand how everything didn't make sense, how dolls were able to speak when they shouldn't. When your grandfather always looked so depressed and so full of anxiety. When he looked so calm at first then begging your forgiveness, face full of fear and terror.

It was just an unlucky day in the end. Alone at home, you were chatting with your dolls asking them if they could sing for you! You can turn on the radio to play a song for them if they do!!

Silence with only your voice you suddenly heard something from outside your room.

You looked at the door, wondering if you heard something wrong but the sounds come back the dragging sound of furniture moving. You wondered if your parents were back so soon from the neighbor's house right next to yours.

You wanted to go to them yet before you could your hand was yanked by something... by nothing. The stronger grip that was there before disappeared immediately. Right in for of your dolls.

Stay here. Stay here.

Don't go.

Play with us! Play with me.

Shhhhh....

You looked at your dolls listening to their voice as you felt something touch your hair then your ears covering it. You listened to hum, multiple voices humming unfamiliar songs yet you can't help but gasp.

You tried to follow them unable to hear the screaming and anguish of the now blind and deaf. The sound of objects being thrown and glass shattering. The begging you could not hear, the banging in the walls and trashing you could not hear.

Your parents quickly showed up, when they heard the sound along with your neighbors. The door was open and everything was thrown everywhere. A mess. Yet they cannot help but stare at the man.

A pitiful man looking at an empty wall begging to live. The soft begging, as snot and tears leaked yet ignored as the man continued to beg and beg.... and beg.. and beg... he too could not hear anything but a silent sound.

The police were quickly involved, but the man continued to beg for their life. Yet they were unsure of what to say when they asked about a small girl who was in the house.

The neighbors told them about a small girl who hummed alone in her room as if it was silent. The bright smile that was given to them as if there was no one in anguish in the next room.

You never were told of what happened, nor the news that the man died in his jail cell a few days later, it was only then his begging silenced.

As for your question.... who knows?

[ofmdee]

😵

been having some thinky thoughts today, and for a while, rly, abt my Feelings abt breathing underwater and i tried to type something up on twitter but that jsut was not letting me think my thoughts correctly

i love BU........... so goddamn much. it started out as nothing more than a silly idea abt little mermaid ed meeting stede and kind of ballooned into what ive built it up into today. it's so important to me... but it's making me a little miserable right now?

miserable because i dont want to work on it, but i WANT TO want to work on it, i want to tell this story and read the finished product, ive got so many ideas, but i just. cannot get myself to do the actual WORK of making sentences and then staging all the pics........... what used to be a fun little pastime now feels like a chore, an obligation, a compulsion almost. it sucks, but it sucks more NOT doing it, you know what i mean? idk.

i know ive built it up into this big THING to myself, like... idk, i do this so often, i have big ideas and love to plan and organize them and then i get going with such intensity until i abruptly fizzle out. i start things and dont finish them, and i guess i just rly dont want this to be another thing that gets thrown on my unfinished projects pile :/

i have the next 2 parts drafted, but every time i go back to poke at them and edit them i just get so disheartened because it's obvious that my heart wasn't really in writing them, and it's difficult to salvage a rough draft like that. part of me wants to just delete those parts entirely and say fuck it im taking an indefinite hiatus, and i will start fresh when this is fun again! which would probably be the best thing, actually, but... i am reluctant to do that, because i just dont have anything else to rly fill my time rn.

i havent been getting a lot of joy out of... anything, rly, for a long time now, im so bored and apathetic and even my normal go to things arent cutting it anymore. and idk if it's a depression thing or if im truly outgrowing some interests, but either way i know i need to get more Things in my life somehow, because writing and sims are my two biggest pastimes, and then i combined them, and then i got sick of both so ive got so little to go on! so i keep poking at the things that i used to love, hoping to find that spark again 😪 i love these little guys and their little world!!! and it makes me sad that im not actually having Fun with the PROCESS.

it doesn't help that i am constantly torn between man i wish more ppl read my fic!!! i work so hard on it!! and man i never want anyone to perceive me or my writing ever it's so amateur!! idk what i want and idk what i want to DO about it!!

so, idk!! idk where this is all going, lol, i just... wanted to try and organize these thoughts somehow.

trying to reason w myself that at the end of the day, i am writing a fanfiction. that's it. it's not that big of a deal, and yet it feels huge to me, somehow. I don't wanna let down the ppl who are reading it, and i dont wanna let myself down again, either.

BUT it's not supposed to make me feel miserable it is supposed to be fun i am lowkey crying rn because like urghghghgh why isnt it fun?!!?!

so. i think i gotta do some more thinking, because not making any kind of decision is making things worse! and idk, if all of this hasnt put u off of the idea of my fic, here is the series page lmfao i could use some encouragement i guess......

but i am going to seriously put more thought into an official hiatus, because i think i am getting Too preoccupied with it again and it's messing with me!!!

i actually had a decent time doing those kitty ed pics today, even tho they didn't do so hot, so maybe i am just gonna try to focus on that kind of thing, doing stuff that actually catches my attention, and also doing things without the intention of sharing them at all. allowing things to be messy. i get so caught up in the thought of someone else seeing my work that i paralyze myself trying to make it PERFECT.

i had a decent time doing that oneshot from ed's pov as well. so maybe i need to work on projects that are a bit smaller scale. i dont have to say goodbye to BU stuff forever, but i am just so ALL OR NOTHING that it feels like a way bigger decision than it actually is 😓

so i guess....... im gonna sleep on it for a while. think about it and try and come to a firm decision. because if i take a break, i need to REALLY take a break, which includes not thinking about it all the time and constantly beating myself up for not doing it 😅

idk, thank you if you read this far, here are a few kitty pics of ed for ur time:

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

TXT Ideal Type Reading

Alright, on to my other faves and let's see what I get. I am not expecting it to be light, like what I thought with Enhypen, let's just look at what the energies and cards have to say.

Yeonjun (3 of Wands/Victory) He would like someone who enjoys traveling. He would want someone who is understandable and could accept a long-distance relationship. I wonder if he would want to date a foreigner, or someone who lives in another country? It is like he would enjoy traveling long distance for this person, this is kind of weird, but okay. I see the victory card, and I think win at all costs, what does that mean? He may like a competitive person, someone willing to fight for him. He may like someone who likes a challenge, someone who is successful in their pursuits. He may like someone who will go the distance, someone persistent and resilient. I see him wanting to travel with this person. I am interested to see what type of boyfriend he will be when I do a reading on this part next. Anyway, he wants someone powerful and someone with a winner spirit. I look at the victory card, and this is someone that shines. He would probably like a celebrity, maybe foreign. I wonder if he has a specific celebrity that fits his exact ideal type, or that he really finds attractive.

Soobin (7 of Cups/Anxiety) Honestly, you know what this is telling me, that once again, this boy has his own problems and isn't worried about an ideal type. This seriously just feels like his energy at the moment. Because these two cards together. I would not understand how these could indicate an ideal type. It is like every time I read for him on a topic, it is like, nah focus on me, I got problems, and this isn't one. I can spin this a certain way to try to see how this fits his ideal, but honestly, it isn't on his mind, and I always go with how I feel, so going to leave it like that. I am a bit worried about him, but at the end of the day I can wish him healing and loving energy. I do believe with these cards, it is more about his mindset, than anything else. He seems to be in a fog and may have difficulties getting out of that. His energy just wants to work on his own sh** before focusing on other things, like I am legit thinking of skipping him for the boyfriend reading tbh. Send this boy healing vibes ya'll.

Beomgyu (10 of Swords/Sixth Chakra Archangel Metatron) Ah, the 10 of swords for him again I see. I can see him as liking someone who is able to work through their difficulties and negative thought patterns. He may want someone who can help him work through that as well. He would want someone to bring him peace and clarity to the situation, like he can overwork his mind and go into a negative spiral, lowkey can get depressed at times, he may want someone who can lift him out of that and change his perspective on things. He wants someone who can see things clearly, see all perspectives, just someone with a clear mindset. A person with a sense of knowing. It is like he is so in his head. He wants someone not like that, so he finds it hard to see things clearly or see the positive, so he wants someone to bring that out of him or allow him to see it. I felt like I repeated myself a lot here lol IHe is kind of just focusing on that, like that is important to him right now in a partner.

Taehyun (Knight of Pentacles/The Temple Path) Well this is nice, he wants someone goal oriented, a bit slow paced, takes their time with things, a dependable and loyal partner. Someone who is persistent and consistent. Someone who is able to prevail against the odds. He would want a steadfast person. Had to google that, so if you don't know it means, dutifully firm and unwavering. He would like them to stay on a path of righteousness, not sure what that means, but that is what I got. He likes them to stay on the right path. He would want a person who makes the right decisions for themselves and others. He would want someone who has a purpose in life, who does good for themselves and others. He may want someone a bit more on the spiritual side, but an overall good person. I just think, doesn't everyone want this, but it seems he finds this very important. It is like a person who has a duty to themselves and others.

Hueningkai (The Hierophant/Man Holding Coin) Okay, first off, this gives me he wants a partner to know his relationships are highly controlled and monitored, yes, that came to me first with these two cards, so that is a point of contention for him. That may annoy him, his past partner, caused problems, who knows, but that was my first thought seeing this, so they may need to understand that. I can also see him as wanting a partner he can grow together with and learn from, like being able to blend their ideas together. Honestly, I am trying to get something else out of this, but the Man holding Coin just gives me their creepy CEO, I ain't saying his name, but I don't like him, I don't care how people try to spin he is a good guy narrative, he doesn't give me that at all, it just gives me him, and his controlling nature, and him not being able to date. I can't get around him being watched and controlled to even date. Wtf is this!? Well, his ideal partner needs to be someone who understands that, is all he gives me here, now I can spin this into something, but I can't shake the feeling and always go with how I feel, at the end of the day, this is just Tarot. I try not to overanalyze these things. I don't know if he is more controlled than the others, or if it just annoys him more, not sure why this showed up.

Now I am very interested to see what they get for the boyfriend reading I do for them next weekend.

[kieripup]

i'm going to cut my hair short again after growing it for 2 years !!

2022 -> Current

i've been wanting to get a good wolfcut for AGES and have been growing my hair and working with a stylist specifically to get my hair the right length/texture for a wolfcut but my hair is just too thick and curly to do it ૮ ⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄ ·̭ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝ ა

i live in a really humid area that gets HOT and HUMID in the summer (hair go POOF) and COLD and WET in the winter (hair go limp)

also i just don't have the motivation to style it nice before working a full sweaty gross day, there's no point :[

also i've mentioned it a few times but this winter was so so so awful for me, i was in a really bad environment that took its toll on me and i'm slowly recovering mentally and I think making a physical change will help my brain put that behind me?

Hair holds memories yadda yadda

i am sad to give up my idealised image of the pretty fem boy with pretty braided hair i wanted to be - but i just don't have the hair texture to look like anything but a wild forest troll 99% of the time

you can see in the comparison just how different my hair texture looks when it's short VS long

Short = fun and curly and wind swept (lost those airpods </3) Long = limp and greasy and messy imo

gonna keep that fun bit of red tho !! it's my first time doing a funky hair colour and I like it even if it's just the little bit

with it being shorter it would cost less to change the colour, so maybe i'll explore other colours too ! baby pink is calling my name...

I do worry because i gained a fair amount of depression/stress weight during the winter too, so i'm worried short hair will make my head looks small and body look big :{

i'm sweating too much this summer...i must be brave

if you read all this, thank you !! ૮ ˶′ﻌ ‵˶ ა lowkey treating tumblr as my diary

[owlphibiansprite]

episode 2 live-commentary [season 6 spoilers, obviously]

i still can't believe they're giving the pyrren fans what they want. i lowkey love the animators for this lol (even if i personally don't care much for the ship)

soren is hilarious i love this goof so much :))

i really like janai freaking out & amaya being there for her. :)<3

ohhh karim my boy you are illogical "he will join our cause" my dude sol regem PROBABLY WON'T CARE ABOUT PUNY ELVES he is unpredictable, bitter and depressed + what "cause" WHAT IS YOUR "CAUSE" what is your plan karim oh karim you don't make sense!!! (plus miyana girl you are way too good for him like it's only thanks to you he was able to do anything…)

WHY IS EZRAN GOING TO SLEEP IN HIS SHOES

lol i am loving soren & corvus banter they are awesome together ^-^ (oh and before when corvus took away soren's hand from his shoulder? lol!)

this keeps getting better! (the corvus&soren sequence)<333

"humongous fungus among us" soren you doof! (affectionate)

okay. karim's speech makes sense now. he actually doesn't care about his people but only people who think like him… goooot it. he's a typical bigot who believes he is better + there are all the authoritan undertones who use "faith" and "religion" as weapons for evil.

my episode 1 live-commentary

[immafish0258]

[LONG RANT ABOUT FANDOM INCOMING I AM SO SORRY]

idk how to open this but ykw fuck it, i'll cut to the chase: imo some ppl in this fandom (mostly with the ppl on r/glassanimals, but its in other sites aswell) dont rlly know how to give criticism that isn't just plain insults

[more below (so it wont clog up the ga tag)]

theres nothing wrong with ACTUAL, CONSTRUCTIVE, HEALTHY CRITICISM dont get me wrong! whenever you like ilysfm or not, imo its important to like, have a healthy conversation, be respectful and be like "I like/dislike this album and imo I think it could've been better if x, y, z " and thats valid! even if its just "this album is/isn't my thing" thats ok! thats alright! I've seen people be respectful and give constructive criticism and have a convo!

I get the frustration aswell! I get that ppl wish for music that they like, and that ga dipping their toes (haha get it) into the pop genre for the second time in a row makes them feel estranged!

but the way some people try and "criticise" album 4 is just.. not it.

do some of yall think that "its not zaba therefore its a cashgrab and its mid and ga fell of and theyre sellouts" is constructive criticism? that's just plain insults with no taste! thats not healthy and doesnt start a good convo either!

like at some point you don't seem like a ga fan anymore and just a zaba stannie!

some ppl acting like zaba is superior and ga owes them more zaba is kinda weird to me cause like, they dont owe you anything! they dont know us! and we only know the parts they want us to see online!

and it's also not the first rodeo! this happened before! (definetly happened with dreamland but not sure on htbahb)

the take of "why are they making repetitive music" while you want ga to make another zaba AKA MAKE REPETITIVE MUSIC is a hypocritical take! It's not a good look I'm sorry!

and the take of "lp4 is full of generic love songs for depressed 13 year olds" that I've seen from a few people ain't good cause like, this album is full of depressing-at-best, toxic-at-worst relationships! just cause it's about love doesn't mean it's instantly generic! the lyrics aren't like "we would be together in the stars we would be so lovey dovey" "i wish you loved me back" "youre the air that i breathe", they're more like "ive been kidnaped and developed stockholm syndrome" "hey i fucking hate your guts but i still lowkey love yo- oh shit the songs ending" "we fell out of love and i cant change that no matter how hard I try". like IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU BRO! like misinterpreting these lyrics so badly my god-

also the fact that some went like "ga should be ashamed and embarressed for releasing this" is rlly sad to me, like I remember Dave saying that this is his most personal work and he had to get vulnerable first before making it, and saying that he should be embarressed for pouring his heart out is kinda :[ to me (maybe because vulnerabillity is a very important trait to me, but moving on)

or the take that "theyre making radio-friendly tiktok music" like what radio would play a song with lyrics mentioning ball gags and being tied up??????

like this is unproductive, lowkey unhealthy, very repetitive and very tiring imo. people are getting tired of the same ol recycled, poorly disguised as "criticism", bare insults. most of the time in the reddit, some here, on twitter, insta and discord. this has been repeated ad nauseam, and it's getting nowhere imo.

so uh yea. that's my thoughts on this whole thing

thanks for reading :] -A

[lochnutmonster]

i'm going to cut my hair short again after growing it for 2 years !!

2022 -> Current

i've been wanting to get a good wolfcut for AGES and have been growing my hair and working with a stylist specifically to get my hair the right length/texture for a wolfcut but my hair is just too thick and curly to do it ૮ ⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄ ·̭ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝ ა

i live in a really humid area that gets HOT and HUMID in the summer (hair go POOF) and COLD and WET in the winter (hair go limp)

also i just don't have the motivation to style it nice before working a full sweaty gross day, there's no point :[

also i've mentioned it a few times but this winter was so so so awful for me, i was in a really bad environment that took its toll on me and i'm slowly recovering mentally and I think making a physical change will help my brain put that behind me?

Hair holds memories yadda yadda

i am sad to give up my idealised image of the pretty fem boy with pretty braided hair i wanted to be - but i just don't have the hair texture to look like anything but a wild forest troll 99% of the time

you can see in the comparison just how different my hair texture looks when it's short VS long

Short = fun and curly and wind swept (lost those airpods </3) Long = limp and greasy and messy imo

gonna keep that fun bit of red tho !! it's my first time doing a funky hair colour and I like it even if it's just the little bit

with it being shorter it would cost less to change the colour, so maybe i'll explore other colours too ! baby pink is calling my name...

I do worry because i gained a fair amount of depression/stress weight during the winter too, so i'm worried short hair will make my head looks small and body look big :{

i'm sweating too much this summer...i must be brave

if you read all this, thank you !! ૮ ˶′ﻌ ‵˶ ა lowkey treating tumblr as my diary