#as i am typing this i am realizing i dont actually need to be writing his name since i'm not dividing him from other characters

[icewindandboringhorror]

Misc. photos from the past year or so ~

[bonetrousledbones]

what you all dont know is that being forced to name every individual talking image before i can use it is something that has more consequences than you would generally think

[feyburner]

I loved LOVED a word, a look, will be enough. I’m obsessed with the way you write jason and tim. No pressure to answer this at all, but I was curious if you have a headcanon about how the missing spleen reveal eventually goes

Jay »

Good afternoon Timothy.

« tim

uh oh

Jay »

I just had a fascinating conversation with Doc thompson

Care to hazard a guess about what?

« tim

pollen season

Jay »

No.

« tim

bird flu

Jay »

Is there a reason you havent told anyone in your life that you dont have a fucking spleen?

« tim

okay first of all

i’m not sure why doc thompson felt the need to tell you my private medical information

pretty sure they have a rule about that

Jay »

It’s not her fault.

I mentioned that you got whammied with that stupid germ bomb from Typhoid Tony or whatever the fuck his name was

« tim

vik vyral

Jay »

And she got all serious and told me I should get you into the clinic asap, and I was like no he’s fine now, it was basically a 24 hour bug, and she was like no, theres no such thing as a 24 hour bug for him, he needs to come get his blood tested yesterday

And then she clearly realized I had no fucking clue what she was talking about and clammed up. Wouldn’t say a thing. Told me to ask you myself.

Jay »

The look she gave me when I said you slept it off and went back to work. Like I should know better. like I was letting you be careless and shit bc thats just how I am or something.

« tim

“letting” me?

Jay »

yeah. Letting you. I know you know what I mean

« tim

i’m not sure i do.

Jay »

When youre with someone you take care of them.

I dont pretend to know much about this shit but I know that.

I’m not talking about handcuffing you to the radiator. Im talking about knowing whats going on with you and knowing that sometimes you let shit slide that I wouldn’t. When it comes to you

You do that for me and the others all the time. Thats how it works.

« tim

doc thompson doesn’t know you’re “with” me

Jay »

If you think everyone doesn’t know exactly what’s going on then your detective skills need work

Jay »

Also, Jesus, Tim.

« tim

ok sorry, i didn’t mean the scare quotes part

but did you pause to consider maybe there’s a reason i haven’t told everyone other than whatever shortsighted masochistic bs you’re assuming

Jay »

I dont need you to tell everyone. I’m not asking you to write a report on it.

Just like. if there’s any other major medical shit can you maybe tell me

Before you fucking die of a sinus infection or whatever bc the asshole who lives with you didn’t know your immune system has the horsepower of a bicycle

« tim

did you know you curse more when you’re fronting like you’re not worried about me

Jay »

I’m actually not fronting! in this moment!

« tim

okay

well. i am sorry

that sounded sarcastic bc of who i am as a person

but it’s not. i mean it.

Jay »

Sorry for yelling at you

« tim

i dont wanna go into it over text but i’ll tell you tonight. okay?

about what happened.

also there’s nothing else. it’s just the spleen thing

ok?

Jay »

Okay.

« tim

well and the mango allergy

well. and i’m double jointed specifically bc i have joint-hypermobility syndrome

which is why im so flexible :)

but also why i dislocate things a lot :(

um and im mildly allergic to carrots, bananas, pineapples, and most legumes, but it’s fine they just make my tongue itch

i think that’s all

Jay »

Tim can you be honest with me for a second

« tim

yeah…

Jay »

Are you inbred

« tim

NSJDN/&2&jdj?!_£_??

Jay »

Like are you that type of rich person

You can tell me. We are not going to procreate so I dont mind either way

« tim

just scared the living shit out of an intern who had never seen me laugh before. i think she thought i was choking

jesus CHRIST

i will see you at home.

Jay »

You

didn’t answer the question….

[chrisrin]

hi so i got diagnosed with adhd like 6 months ago after continuously insistently denying i had it to everyone who swore up and down that i did have it. then a psychiatrist was "yeah you have it bro" and i've been re-evaluating everything in my life. anyways. that's context, and with that re-evaluating i've realized something about my hyperfixations and i want to know if:

a) people with adhd relate to it. b) how do you. deal with this. because i think it's somewhat ruining how i interact with media.

anyways, under the read more ->

i've come to realize a pattern with media i consume that i get fixated on. typically this happens with longer media. so stuff like homestuck, and currently with one piece. stuff that i cant binge in an evening or two. (i am on chapter 170 of one piece at the moment of writing this, i read 40 chapters yesterday)

i obviously can't be consuming the new piece of media i'm into every second of my day, in fact, that sounds exhausting.

i have other things i need to get done and, in fact, i NEED to be doing other things because even with something i'm hyperfixated on, my brain will get bored and needs to bounce off other types content. however what this does mean is that every thought i have IS still hyperfixated on the piece of media which means i will still seek out that content even if it's not me reading the original source material.

what this MEANS is that i have all these video essays recommended to me about one piece because youtube has caught on that i am liking and enjoying ONE PIECE (same with twitter. my entire twitter for you page is completely consumed by one piece. i dont know who 2/3rds of these people are please im still in alabasta what is happening) and i Want to Watch them all but i'm in the stage rn where Everything Is A Spoiler so i CANT watch the video essays so ill instead watch them RIGHT UP UNTIL im in the danger zone of being spoiled (sometimes actually risking/getting spoiled) or watching random out of context one piece clips and my one piece friends are all telling me i am just like icarus and flying too close to the sun but i also feel like i can't help the compulsion in some ways? it also means i cannot help but talk about it in every conversation i have with everyone but that seems like, minorly connected to all this.

it's crazy because in my head this is the Worst Stage of the hyperfixation, where i can Only consume the media itself and not all the fan stuff around it. but that's Insane because this should be the best time because i'm literally experiencing the cool media i like for the first time. i feel insane. does anyone else relate to this. how do you deal with it?

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

[ganondoodle]

so guess what they released more interviews and i think given what a writing shitshow totk was and what they have been saying in all these interviews is actually painting a really bad picture; i dont have the time, nor the energy to go over every detail

but they were commenting on people wanting the more linear format back and aonuma himself basically said that he thinks people who feel like that do so only bc of nostalgia and "Why do you want to go back to a type of game where you're more limited or more restricted in the types of things or ways you can play?"

what .. the fuck, more freedom DOESNT automatically mean better??? like ... restriction can be a GOOD thing just as tooo much freedom can be BAD?? like in totk??? are you fukcing shitting me- what the hell are games even for then, has he had an awakening to the fact that he actually just loves sandbox games without realizing it???? im not playing fucking zelda for a sandbox, especially not when its advertised as a somethign else

its pretty clear that they want to keep this format going with everything they say there, ... maybe it really is over huh

also i hate how they kept talking around answering anything about story/lore; they go asked how ganondorf even connects to ganon since theres nothign about it in game, and all they got out was welllll we dont wanna say anything bc its up to the player; about every question you got the answer of "make somethign up yourself" which is just ... its really clear they dont actually care but dont want to say everything is meaningless actually, so they try to be vague about it and with doing that really just confirm they didnt think about it and they dont care- so no lore actually matters, nothing thats been said or established has any meaning bc they will get rid of it the second it crosses paths with their new -more freedom equals better- philosophy, they say its bc they want you to be "free" to think up anything but apparently dont realize that when there are no rules, no consistent lore or anything that it ROBS it, it stops having meaning, its fun to connect dots only when there are rules you need to work with and dots to connect in the first place, when you have an established world with its restrictions it drives you to think more creatively about things- but when there are no rules?? its fucking boring!! thats what it is!!

when you discard all rules i wont care to get invested into anything bc i know it will not be considered again, be done away with without any reason and wont have influence on coming or previous games ... bc there are no rules, anything is possible and everything can be changed any second, so nothing matters

(they also talked about the many viral videos of those very few dedicated people that make godzilla mechs in totk and how happy they are about that- i get that to some extent, but the way they kept talkign about it really just felt like it confirmed my suspicion that that whole mechanic was mainly implemented to let people do that since that gets shared around en masse making it seem like that is why people enjoy it while neither the game nor the narrative are build around it in any way ..)

it just makes all the time i spend thinking, feeling and theorizing about zelda like a true waste of time, bc nothing matters and there are no rules-

i am someone who greatly enjoys working with and around established lore/rules, its fun to me to recontextulize things by being smart or creative with it all without breaking anything or as little as possible of the established things!

if i wanted to do just do anything i want I COULD HAVE ALREADY DONE THAT bc theres nothing actually stopping anyone to just make up what they want! i DONT need canon to lose all rules for that??!!

maybe ill have to make myself believe the franchise ended with botw on a good note ... ono

[aubreyathame]

i got too silly again!!!!! the tags are a nightmare. favorite character bingo TWO baby!!! check part one here

anyways as im writing all this i realized i misspelled 'lamby' lamb. its lammy. i hate myself

text below cut because this one is harder to read even though i resorted to just typing for 4 of them

(Kisuke) Urahara: "I'm sure it's just some pretty girl talking about me somewhere"

David (Leatherhoff): "I really need to take these pills" (Jacket says E A 4 5)

(Jill) Lammy (Lamb): "Leave it to...Lamby!!!" (misspelling but i dont want to fix because this took 2 days)

Roronoa Zoro: "I'll become stronger for her!"

Plague Knight: "Hee hee hee!"

Leshy: "Sacrifices must be made"

Z(hen) ((Feat. Abby)): "if we ever actually slept together id fucking annihilate your bisexuality. youd become a permanent lesbian." (real ass quote from psycholonials)

Spectre Knight: The Reaper cometh

Isaac: Who am I?

Nika Allen: "I, Nika Allen, 7 years old, am sick to death of this world"

Agatha (Knife): "I love animals!!" (i THINK this is an exact quote but she gets really close if its not)

Mari: "All it costs is your love"

(Vinsmoke) Sanji: "Defying a cook in the seas is suicidal, you know?"

The Observer: "Fuck Adam Rosner" (real quote from tribetwelve, trust)

Anzu (Kinashi): "If you don't think, you don't have to be afraid"

(The Siren)

Benrey: "Can I see your passport?" (Passport says 'Benrey' 3x)

HABIT: "I AM MANKIND'S BAD HABIT"

Lonely Wizard: "STIMULATION."

Zoe: "Eldritch cutie, reporting for duty!"

(Sōsuke) Aizen: "Adoration is the furthest state from understanding"

whiteface: "Look at you...how sad. Your body is all closed up."

[hyperref-lex-ia]

lots of common reactions i get as a mute person

all the following are peoples reaction when they assume i am deaf, the most common assumption

- flustered and lifts hands to try and sign and then lowers them when they realize they dont know ASL

- flustered and starts to sputter and talk before settling on mouthing things at me

- mouths “can you lip read”

- talks really loud at me (which wouldnt do much if i was deaf so idk)

- goes to find something to write on

- sometimes if i type on my phone in my notes when i need to say something other than yes or no people will go to literally take my phone from me to type back instead of literally anything else

- signs some of the more common sign, i get thank you a lot (especially in customer service situations, which is where most of these happen)

- if it is someone on the street saying something and they assume im deaf when i sign at them they usually just disregard me which is actually really nice

these next ones are when people dont assume im deaf, which is rarer

- talks to me normal

- talks to me like im dumb

heres a few nice incidents

- guy asked me if i was mute in spanish and i nodded and he asked if i knew spanish and i was like not really lol (live in a heavily hispanic area so i picked up on enough to understand) and he switches to english and shares about a talk he had gone to recently about mutism

- girl working at sonic assumed i was deaf and ran inside just to grab her phone to help me which i thought was really sweet so i just didnt correct her

- just today i was using the self checkout at a gas station and the guy behind the register sees me getting frustrated with the card reader and slides over a piece of receipt paper that says “tap works better” and i am like “i dont have tap” and i decide to just cancel the self checkout and move to him cause hes got good vibes and he holds the bag up and raises an eyebrow allowing me to have a choice in it which i dont often get. when i am leaving he signs “have a good day” super slow and obviously practiced a lot, and the fact that he obviously learned that just in case this happened made me really happy

- every time someone has happened to know ASL in public, its always surprising how many hearing/verbal people know ASL, almost always because they are CODA

- the enthusiastic gay man at my eye doctor who got so excited when he saw i signed even though he doesnt know it, because he thought it was so cool

- every person who goes “oh you speak ASL” and then immediately thinks about thay sentence and kind of 404 errors out as they realize you cant speak ASL

- the tiny middle aged mexican woman who has worked the store at my school the entire time ive been going there who knows me because i always go there for caffeine and snacks, and manages to always communicate with me despite a couple language barriers and will often berate me if i dont get water with my caffeine or if i dont get food, and who also wishes me happy holiday for every holiday that comes around, and was also very visibly worried when i had to rely on a cane for a few months

- my painting professor who always takes so much pressure off because hes so blunt, when i came in with a cane everyone danced around asking about it and he walks in and goes “what the hell happened to you??”, the most recent thing that made me laugh is we were talking and i was using TTS and as we are walking into the studios he goes “im gonna go talk with Ronnie, give your thumbs a break” and then we both started laughing

the worst interaction ive had

- had one of my professors numbers which happens sometimes because it makes life easier and she texted me out of the blue saying she “had a dream she was at my wedding and i spoke my vows” with heart emojis and i did not know this woman at all and i was like…what the fuck…not only is that unprofessional but also ableist

lastly shout out to my friends who translate for me purely off lip reading who dont know ASL

[lilacstro]

🌸frequently asked questions 🌸

i wanted to have suggestions on this one, but I felt I would answer most of them myself so no use as such. I would answer a few questions I received when I first started, and some that people around me ask :)

Why did you name your blog lilacstro what does that even mean?

well, it actually is lilac and astro which was not available so I did some quirky thing and made it lilacstro and I kinda like it lmao. I did not choose the word lilac for any specific reason, it was just cute while I was trying for different usernames. But I later realized purple and its shades are used for psychic depictions as well haha

Are you a professional astrologer?

In all honestly, astrology and tarot are never "professional". There are many people I know who have no degree as such and are exceptionally wonderful at this. I did not do a degree to "prove" something, I just was free so I thought let's just do it for fun. Professional astrologers can be pretty bad as well, so I would recommend choosing an astrologer or tarot reader or psychic based on who you resonate with and connect to and not degrees. It would help.

Are you vedic astrologer? or tropical one?

I actually study both for different purposes but I see people here posted tropical more so I started with that and I saw a good response. And now I actually just do not understand how to type out a vedic astrology post but not that I don't want to or plan to.

Aren't your readings expensive?

well actually, I do not think so AT ALL. The amount of work that goes in typing those readings all by hands is absolutely insane, and it goes so in depth, from fixed stars and points, to many special features and description in your chart that it reaches 80 pages average at 12 font. I cannot even re use scripts at all lmaoo. So I absolutely DO NOT think I am charging a lot considering how much the rate for one session is. You are super free to explore other people who suit your needs :))

How did you get into astrology?

well, i dont know either. I used to study it but idk one day I had a very heavy spiritual download? ig? I just suddenly understood concepts I could not, and eventually I shared this with my sister and she encouraged me to start a blog. I was so scared because I though there are already such cool people here no one's gonna read what I write lmao. SO YEAH TAKE THAT LEAP OF FAITH

Is astrology absolute?

I have said it enough and I say it again, No. I do not agree with this. Destiny and all of the fated events may exist, but you should not let it hinder what you really want. Some may say what you want is also fated, so be it. Do what you like. You would eventually know if you should do it or not. Do not let anyone hold you back, different people would say different things.

How can I start studying astrology?

Ask yourself what is your purpose of studying astrology and use resources accordingly.

Knowing yourself, just for fun: use tumblr, YouTube, and some people on twitter

Professionally: BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS. Start reading for free or extremely cheap rates, find a teacher you resonate with, online or offline, or even a YouTube channel. No need to blow your money on extremely expensive courses if you cannot.

What are some resources you recommend?

Vedic: BV Raman. His books range from beginner to advanced stuff and it seems pretty cool and written with a balance of modern and traditional though you may need to re read a few times. Do not jump into old ancient texts either you would not understand or completely lose sight and become depressed lmao.

Western: There is this book called "Only astrology book you would ever need". Start with it. Then, there are many books available depending on what you want to do. Natal reading, readings for children and personality, astrocartography, hellensic, relocation, horary, predictive etc.

Any good blogs on tumblr to look out for?

Yes there are many if you ask, but idk if its okay to mention them? But do your own research and do not go into it blindly. Many people understand the same text differently so the adaptation would be different and you do not want to copy someone's style. Reading from source is important.

How to learn tarot?

90% of us would start by learning key words and the placements they represent and keep on practicing to learn and when we read, we do not know what to do. My suggestion? Learn and read a lot. Together. Do not put either on hold. Eventually things would fall into place and start making sense. Give yourself grace of atleast 6 months to a year.

I have xyz placement I am doomed nothing good can ever happen to me

OMG I get this one A LOT. No you are not doomed and NO chart is perfect. I was looking at relocation charts for moving to countries and none of them looked perfect at all, so you know it is how its for many people. Look at celebs for example, they get beauty and money. love or health is absent. Get everything? Someone dies or you die. Nothing is all flowers and roses, but it is fine. You do not have to look at the negatives. Do what you can and I promise you can make it through.

While you do paid readings, do you use Vedic astrology?

Somewhat. Majorly? No. Because when I use Vedic, I would want to give remedies according the nakshatra lord, dasha transits, and afflictions but most of my clients are foreigners and it is not my thing to impose religious stuff on people. I sometimes do suggest basic activities like waking up early, wearing silver rings etc.

Do you believe in numerlogy?

I 100% do, but on this one im going to side with the vedic numerology systems. Much much better, but my personal opinion. Association with zodiac degrees and major arcana helps as well. Destiny Matrix is one more thing I like!

What are your placements?

HAHAH if someone can guess that would be wonderful!

take care xoxo

paid readings open

[theoddowldoodle]

I am randomly again thinking about D20:Neverafter how great the characters and their curses are in relation to their arc and story.

Pinocchio is a warlock being controlled by his patron he is physically and spiritually a puppet of The Stepmother. How he overcame this by being the boy of destiny and taking hold of his own strings and learning he doesnt need to be of flesh to be an actual boy.

Ylfa's relationship with Death aka The Big Bad Wolf how they're in a cycle of consuming each other, her journey of growing out of girlhood but still that little girl being there even as the she becomes Death leaves her. (I can't articulate my feelings for her but her story makes me scream inside my head)

Gerard's curse of turning back into a frog and him thinking that his wife's love is starting to fade and him realizing unlike the other Princesses where they're the main character of their stories Elody is not. Elody supported him through being a frog and loved him with all her heart but he was a bad husband and somewhat a coward during the war. Him sacrifing his own story so she could write her own is so good.

Rosmund's motivation of only finding the Prince and her one true love and her realizing that she doesnt need a prince ( not in a im a bad ass princess that dont need a man kind of way) but in a romantic love is just another type of love and I can be happy with the people I choose. And her basically saying to the othe Princesses that they dont need to destroy the Neverafter can have better stories.

Mother Goose's kindness to all children and him being their for Ylfa and even Pinocchio. Him giving Jack so many chances and trying to rectify Jack's mistakes by making the deal with he Gander. Him and the Golden Goose basically being the same being and ultimately him being the steward for good in the Neverafter.

PIB being a trickster and him being true to his character of being a cat and a theif. Him stealing back their Items from the Baba Yaga and just being in so loyal to his friends doing everything he can to make them have their happy ending.

I probably missing some arcs that make them so great but the story is just so good that i wanted to rant about them.

[pepa-brainrot]

Encanto Oc Appreciation week two! Relationships ✨️

@encanto-extended-edition

It's my beloved sunshine trio! I finally drew all of them together (took me long enough I know)

Some more of Armida's relationships summarized below the cut 💛

(I am so terribly bad at summaries Im so sorry- If I could write out the extent of all of their relationships I would- sadly I dont have the time..)

Alma: Her relationship with Alma pre movie is strained- mostly because she fears the older woman. Armida is riddled with anxiety and intrusive thoughts over what her mother in law may think of her, and often fears Alma thinks she got into the way of her daughter's relationship- or that she isn't a "real" madrigal. Basically.. it's a lot of assumptions on how Alma feels about her.. but they are not always truthful.

Armida also tends to disagree with Alma's ways. But between her being passive by nature and having a fear of speaking up, she never says anything. Rather she does her best to help by being there for other family members the best she can be.

Julieta: She was the first of the triplets that Armida became close to. Armida had visited her stand often, and at first Julieta thought the younger woman was accident prone like Agustín.. Over time it became clear that wasn't the case, but Armida was always super polite- despite lying about why she needed to be healed. She always made sure to thank Julieta - not just for healing her but for everything she does. After that it was surprisingly easy for the two of them to talk- and making friends with Julieta naturally got Armida talking to Bruno and Pepa. Although out of the triplets Armida is the least closest to Julieta now, she still feels incredibly safe with the woman. Armida is set trying to lessen Julietas work load. The only issue being- she really can't cook- all she can really do is help with preparation when needed. So instead she settles with going out to town when Julieta needs anything. It's not a lot, but it's something at the very least, and it's appreciated more than Armida will probably ever realize. 

Bruno: While obviously Armida is closest with Pepa and Félix, she also shares a really close bond with Bruno. The both of them being pretty bad insomniacs, they bonded a lot over sleepless nights- She'd tell him about the stars if the sky was clear enough and he'd talk about his rat telenovelas or sometimes about his gift- and she'd comfort him. She's a fan of his telenovelas- she loves the rats, and he's actually a really good writer. She offers to help make small costumes and even jokes about background music for suspense. All and all their relationship is very cute- I like to say they are like platonic soulmates. Obviously after Bruno disappears and comes back things aren't the same.. while he was in the walls some nights she'd sit and talk with his door instead, not knowing he was actually listening. Things are a bit awkward when he comes back- Armida having a lot of feelings about him "leaving" when he hurt his family so badly, but in the end she understands his motivation. 

Isabela: When Isabela was little, the girl loved getting her hands dirty. so naturally - Armida loved taking the girl out with her in her nature walks, because even at twenty seven she herself still loved to explore. It was something they bonded over, Dolores never really being as interested. But of course fell apart after Isa was pressured into being the golden child. Now they aren't nearly as close, but the both of them still remember digging for worms near Casita, or going looking for different types of plants in the jungle. Sometimes Isa still takes walks- taking the same paths they used to when she was little- when she knows no one is looking for her. It helps clear her head. Of course after the movie the two begin to grow close once more, Isa being quite excited to show off all the new plants to her supportive tía.

Dolores: I think the majority of the fandom has agreed that Dolores is a daddy's girl- and I completely agree. However she of course loves each of her parents. Mida specifically doted a lot on her when she was younger- having been their first child. She'd often sing to her- writing her own little songs for her daughter. After Dolores got her gift it was a nice thing for the young girl to focus on- her mother singing. Unfortunately getting her gift, like with many of the madrigals, forced Dolores to grow up too soon. She's often a bit protective over her mother, due to things she's heard over time. Armida mostly dislikes the fact that Dolores feels the need to protect her- as she should be the one protecting her.

Little bonus- Armida despises Mariano at first. She disliked him when he was with Isa, not because she knew Isa didn't actually want to marry him (though she has suspected maybe something was up, if she had known that straight up I don't imagine she'd be able to keep quiet about it.) She's- in general- overprotective when it comes to any of the kids dating. She does, however, come around to him. 

Luisa: With Luisa there isn't too much to say. Like Pepa and Félix, Armida treats each of Julieta's girls like her own kids,and Luisa is no exception. She used to read or sing to her each night as a kid, as she did with all of them. Each grandkid grew up with at least one song or story before bed, and sometimes even as adults or teenagers they still request it. But as with most of the kids, as Luisa grew up she stopped having time for things like that. Still Armida is always ready to sing or read to her once again- no matter how old she is.

Camilo: Camilo and Armida have very similar senses of humor at times, which means they make for quite the pair. The two of them sometimes pull little pranks around the house, nothing too much of course- after all she's still his mother and won't let him get away with everything, but he still gets away with more with her then he does with Félix or Pepa. Though being fifteen he doesn't spend as much time with his mom as he did at one point in his life- he still won't deny he loves her very much.

Mirabel: Pre movie, Armida would try her best to make Mirabel feel just as special as the rest of the family, but being busy and slightly stressed she could only do so much for the girl. Still, she did what she could when she could. She started to teach Mirabel embroidery after her failed gift ceremony to try to distract the little girl and make her feel better, she didn't expect her to pick up on it- but she's very proud of how far she's come. She's quite proud of the young woman in general.

Antonio: the baby of the family, he is absolutely Armida’s weakness. She has the hardest time saying no to him, much like others in the family. The fact that he looks so much like Félix really does not help- luckily Pepa and Félix are a bit better with saying no to him. She worried a lot about him, and his gift. Part of her had hoped that maybe he wouldn't get a gift, since she's seen how sometimes the gifts the family have can really feel more like curses, and he's only five- but luckily he gets a gift he really enjoys, one that she herself had wished for a lot as a child, one that doesn't seem like it will put immense amount of pressure on her baby boy. She enjoys learning what some of his animal friends are thinking, and reading them all to bed. (Sometimes she spoils some of his animals.. she can't help it)

[alexandraisyes]

joining in on ranting in you're ask box part- uh- idk 3?? 4??? I dont even know anymore

Anyway, *cough* i think still have some of these left (edit: I just finished typing this all out and think is defiently an understatement-)

SolarNexus: Solar just goes off on Moon for how much he hates Nexus. Thats all I have for that. I'm sorry im this close to forcing myself to start writing fanfiction again just to write this. Also for my true loves kiss saves Nexus idea- and just to write about Nexus finding who he is instead of who he's supposed to be. .... can you tell i think about these two a lot? (Edit: I prove later that I think about them even more, and Eclipse)

BloodySun: I'm like feral for these two- just, like- Bloodmoon giving dead birds and stuff to Sun and he's absolutley digusted but trying not to hurt their feelings- i- ansusnhas

Servant Sun x Servant Eclipse: I've seen like 1 ship fic with these two but I dont care. I'm obsessed. They need to hold hands and heal and go to therapy together. Obviously Eclipse would defiently be able to help Sun more (cause lord Eclipse), but Sun could defiently help Eclipse too. (Is Eclipse faking losing his memories/being reset or some shit canon? I've read too much fanfiction- im going to assume it is for this) he can also help Eclipse learn that he doesn't have to be fake all the time and thatd be cute

Nexus x Dark Sun: I dont even have thoughts about this. Like I have feelings but I dont have thoughts. I cant even reason why I like this, I just like the toxic yaoi. I just like the concept of Dark Sun not even liking Nexus but manipulating him- like- Moon turned bad x biggest moon hater. I also just like hurting Nexus so other characters can help him heal. Only thing turning me off from this ship is that its an alternate universe of his ex-brother who would most likely be his brother again if he had a redemption arc. Like- I love seeing the ship and I like the concept just it gives me the ick, but thats okay cause I dong have to rot over every ship. Actually, I'm glad I'm not obsessed with this ship I dont need more angst living in my brain. ... I am obsessed with it in a platonic sense tho so I guess the angst is in my brain anyway

Nexus x Eclipse but its when they were looking for who made Eclipse: Nexus abolutley collared him. Im sorry. .. no im not, im right. Like, what is with Nexus and treating others like dogs??? Like first v4 Eclipse, and now Ruin??? Nexus is there anything you want to tell us??? Okay pet play- also doing that to the masochist is crazy, like if you're going to treat anyone like a dog why would it be Ruin that feels like setting yourself up for disaster. Even if he isn't actually a masochist he sure is known for pretending to be one

Nexus x any Eclipse ever: listen, im just saying I think he has a thing for Eclipse's (which is funny cause Moon fucking hates them) Treating Eclipse and Ruin like his dogs. Solar being his best friend. Even Dark Sun, who's a really smart Evil Sun who absorbed the knowledge of his Moon, so im counting him. Like I think Nexus would like being thrown around by Lord Eclipse, or helping to fix up Servant Eclipse. I'm just saying-

Eclipse ² x Nexus (gets its own section i rot about these three): them just reassuring the other's that they're loved and cared for- im sorry you can't tell me that these three don't all have some form of attachment issues- Eclipse being so used to people hating him that he kind of just instinctively pushes people away. Similar with Solar, but he does it more so emotionally while also feeling like he has to earn his place and do things for people. And Nexus also feels like he has to prove himself, and that he isn't good enough.

And they just reassure each other and then the others use their words against him (/pos) and they realize how stupid it sounds and anisnsusnsns <3<3 like- nexus being like "you don't have to prove yourself for anyone, Solar. We love you, you don't need to overwork yourself for us." And, like- solar saying it to him back- and Nexus is just like ".. okay listen-" and similar things happening with the other two and ensunsjss-

also they're the three worst at interaction (other than old Moon he takes the cake for worst at it, but its okay i love it)- like they're all pretty bad at it. Eclipse is Eclipse(aka memories as a villain, and is a sarcastic little shit), Nexus is just kind of awkward, and cmon Solar didn't really ever have any interaction after his split than his Moon and probaly kids, we know he can't talk to people easily. Honestly tho Solar is the best at it (he was able to start up a conversation with Moon easier than Moon could with him) and I imagine he's the one who orders at restaurants

And Moon hates both of Solar's boyfriends and Moon and Solar are friends and I think that's just kind of funny. Like Moon likes Solar so he doesn't stop being friends with him even though he's dating the two, but he's bitter about it (though honestly if Nexus had a redemption arc and it was proved he had a virus, I feel like Moon would hate him a little less. But he'd probaly still be insecure about Nexus probaly taking his place and everyone not really liking Moon again so he'd probaly still be an ass to him.)

Anyway they cuddle. Doesn't even have to be romantic, those three deserve to be in love (also the potential from forbidden love Eclipse² is Nausnsusnsn)

... I- shipping dynamics are neat

I apologize for making this so long, I expected it to be short and then I remembered I started to like new ships 😔

ALSO were being brave and doing this off anon (also id like you to know I genuinely just stared at my phone for a moment when I saw youd followed me lmao. I was so suprised [and delighted, you're neat]- plus it was like 4 am and I hadn't slept yet. I thought it was a dream the next day because I was that tired- I had to check cause i get very vivid dreams-)

All of these are so canon bro.

Solar saves Nexus with true loves kiss real? Real. I saw it with my own two eyes. It happened chat.

BLOODYSUN!!! They love their sunny and try to show that in the best way they know how, dead birds included. Sun is so grossed out by the blood and feathers and ough that's a dead bird ewww but he just forces a smile and nods and feeds it to his cats when Bloodmoon isn't looking. Then drowns his hands with soap and shampoos the carpet.

I feel like I've seen that fic too but my poor brain- Also yes, the pretending to be reset is canon. And that's so cute I'm-

Platonic ships are just as valid as romantic ones! And I really like the angst potential too heheheheh

Ayo 👀 Mmm I have thoughts about that but I must refrain.

Objectively correct. Nexus is an eclipsephile. He loves himself some eclipse.

POLY POLY POLY 🎉🎉🎉

THANK YOU FOR SHARING ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS THESE ARE SO TASTY OH MY GOD ROLLING THESE AROUND IN MY BRAIN

Also awww ur so sweet. I love ur art! It's very cute! Of course I followed!

Ask Game

[yxstxrdrxxm-a]

And that... Is the end of Flawed.

Or the one I hosted for my silly event here anyway.

[ TL;DR under read more: The lack of interest and stress I got from irl matters led me to drop the event and ending it early, but! I have a blog made for the sake of continuing/restarting the event.

Please vote on the poll if you want it to be catered to the reader or stick to Yesterday, and be unbiased, too. Vote what you want, and I'll try and make it happen.]

CONTEXT UTC:

So, I know you guys have a lot of questions, and I can't blame you. I know the biggest one in your mind right now, which is:

Why did I end Flawed early?

The reason why I ended Flawed was actually multiple. Please keep in mind that these are for my observations, and overall I'm not blaming anyone for this. I just noticed it and thought I should bring it up lol.

1. Writing for days burnt me out.

Although Flawed is a passion story/project of mine, writing so much burnt me out. And by a lot. There were days I struggled to think of writing because I have other commitments to do, and sometimes its why polls came out super late or super early. I tried to compensate for it by posting 1 poll a day, but when it didn't work, I pushed myself to make more for 1 day.

I wanted so badly for the whole event to flow like a CYOA because by next month (April), I won't be free to host this as I used to with OLC. However, in that process, I burnt myself out to the point I needed to take longer breaks/forget this event.

It sucks. I would not recommend doing this if you think you want to (because it is NOT worth it).

2. Interactions were... Lacking.

This event is interaction heavy, and the reason why is because you guys control the story that Yesterday and others are in. Naturally, this also affects the characters and how I shape Flawed from start to finish. I have a plot line for it, of course, but the interactions were... Not there.

I noticed the usual ones from my mutuals, sure, but there were moments that I felt like I was simply posting to no one. It was unfortunate during the time with Diluc, where I had hoped that some of you would go, but due to complications (ahem, the votes weren't able to decide on going when the deadline was up), I had to write how it's supposed to go with some... Changes.

It also made me feel sad to see that there weren't much (if at all) interactions to Yesterday. Tinuvion received a fair bit, which is nice because he's a little shit (please bully him lol), but Yesterday after the first week and a half just... Didn't get any. At least, in my records.

I'm not saying this to guilt you guys to interact more, but I am saying this because it feels sad for me to see that unlike OLC, this... Flopped. I had a lot of responses + moments planned if it took off that much, but... Oh well. There's always that one story that won't hit for everyone.

And finally:

3. Maybe you guys wanted it to be catered to you, not to an OC.

I had a feeling that, from the start, Flawed may not take off.

Unlike One Last Call (which was a matchup event + story), Flawed was a CYOA but you guys aren't the main focus/MC, Yesterday (my oc) is. I was hoping that with this method, you guys get to play the omnipotent voice and see how far the story can go until it's conclusion.

However, as I hosted the event for the next few days to weeks, I realized that it was simply too difficult. Maybe I wasn't prepared to host this type of format, as ambitious as it is, but I realized that maybe, you guys don't deserve this format and I should've made it catered to a reader insert instead.

It was hard for me to swallow the pill that this event may not be fun for the majority. I knew that having an OC be the MC + canon characters interact with them may be flaky at best (esp the whole OC x Canon being... well. very much a huge "oh dear"), but seeing minimal interaction/interest than my friends were (and people I admire, too. Hi Harmony! o/!!) and realizing that maybe I shouldn't have done this just... Made me regret it.

For that, I'd like to say:

I'm so, so sorry that this event failed. I'm very sorry if you guys expected it to be like OLC: about the reader/reader insert format.

I know it's not right for me to apologize, but I feel that I have to. I let all of you down, and I don't want you guys to be disappointed in something that you all don't like to see in this blog.

So I decided that I'll run this event in its own blog, but here's the thing.

I don't know if I should keep Yesterday in the blog.

I have to open up a poll for this, so here's the options you guys have for it's fate:

If you guys want it to be a reader insert game (aka you are the main star, not Yesterday), I will set up a menu to BUILD your personal darling.

This means that you guys get to decide how darling will look, the gender, their preferences, and even their job. However, this will be for your darling, and if darling dies, you can't use them anymore.

PROS: This is catered to the reader, and thus, you guys are the ones to choose your own destiny. I won't be the one to decide this time, and if the majority agrees on a specific option, your darling will do just that. This is also more open for variety + reader/canon interaction because I know some of you would have a lot of fun being able to see yourselves in the story.

CONS: When your darling dies, you get the chance to restart. However, the game will continue on with a new darling you guys will have to make and the stats reset to zero. The characters will also mention your past darling, and you'll have to restart from scratch. I still need to tweak this, but just know that it is VERY tricky for you if your first darling dies.

If you guys want it to stay the same (Yesterday is the MC), the format will remain the same.

This means what you witnessed here in the blog WILL happen on the other blog.

PROS: You guys get to either continue or restart with Yesterday's story, and with newfound knowledge, you get to choose more options that were previously unavailable. This also opens up to you all being able to essentially shape Yesterday's outlook + what'll happen to them, because you are the one guiding them to their happy ending.

CONS: This one does not offer a restart like the reader insert (one try only), and this could result to another "this'll flop because many people aren't interested". We've seen it happen here, so please decide wisely.

If you guys want BOTH, the format will be different as you have the option to build a darling (reader insert) or stick to Yesterday's story.

This means there will be a new system for both options to be available, alongside new menus!

PROS: You guys get to have a chance of an 'easy route' or 'hard route' and all of you can use your experience/s to get your desired ending for either one <3 go crazy lol

CONS: If you choose one of the two options for both, the latter will be locked. That's the only consequence I have for this one tbh.

So yes, I'd like to say thank you, and sorry for the fail of Flawed on this blog. I wish I could give you all the quality like in OLC, but there were... Too many things to consider. Sobs.

If you guys still want to continue, please lmk. I worked hard on Flawed and I still want to continue, but this time, its a permanent event and will be on my own pace.

Thank you for your support. Again. And I'll see you guys next time (be it a random fic or the next event <3)

[fatuismooches]

hii, its 💌 anon coming reallll late but happy anniversary :)) i was gone for so long bc i had school and so much other things but i am back‼️ with pantalone thoughts….and dottore thoughts ofc teehee.

akademiya zandik writing reader letters but then he was like “okay no, im not that whipped (he is) i’m gonna toss it somewhere else” but he ends up keeping it in a box. fragile reader on the other hand used to always write him letters :(( and ofcourse he kept them all. they were always well decorated and had the most beautiful wiring but after reader got sick, he didnt get them anymore. the younger clones would probably make little get well soon cards while the older ones write letters and all :(. (also fits reader literally writing him a letter in the case,, yk,, they die)

meanwhile, in pantaloneland, reader and him watched barbie together!!! he wore pink and the entire shebang, probably even rented….bought an entire theater for the private viewing for the both of you. (its actually js a theater version of the barbie movie. no movies back then so…play! arlie would love it too). BUT!! he js hates ken in the middle of it. “i would never ever get rid of your barbie dream house, darling :(“ because honestly? it makes him sad. how can someone just strip things that their lover likes away just to be better? it reminded him a bit of his own bitter childhood, and because of that, he buys you even more things after <3

“pantalone, i dont need that many outfits-“

“just indulge me darling :) you’ve been with me since i was young, its only fair i return the favor”

- 💌

HI 💌 ANON! Welcome back ❤️ I hope you've been doing good and taking care of yourself!! AND AGHHH THANKS FOR YOU FOR THOUGHTS 😭🤲

ZANDIK WRITING LETTERS 😔💖 He thinks that instead of verbalizing his feelings, he can water them down and make them all professional like he does in his notes/research reports... WRONG. Within the first sentence, he looks at it and stops because wtf there's no way he's gonna continue writing this sappy shit (it wasn't even sappy he was showing that he cared about you a bit more than the average person) But you on the other hand? You don't care if you sound too emotional or sappy or in love or not. You just write what you wanna write. Zandik will scoff and make fun of you but you know he keeps all of them. Where? You don't know, but you just know.

But it's only after it's too late that he realizes how much he likes the little letters he used to receive from you. (UR EVIL FOR THAT LAST PART.) Stop now I'm thinking about bb Zandy giving you a card... he drew you two with crayons 💖

NOT PANTALONE AND YOU WATCHING BARBIE... I haven't seen it yet but I'm beyond excited to go and watch it whenever I'm able to!! Psh, he doesn't even need to buy a theater because you know he been had one for years!! But OUCH not the angst at the end ;( Ugh he literally loves and respects you so much, he can't fathom the thought of ever hurting you on purpose.

In your closet, there are two types of outfits. The ones you wear regularly, and the ones you wore only once because Pantalone makes you try on everything he buys you. Oftentimes you have to enlist your husband for help choosing outfits and accessories because you probably get overwhelmed by your closet being the size of a big bedroom 😭

[moonlitlex]

ok hello. legend of ruby sunday.

i literally can't believe how underwhelmed i am honestly. like i'm not even angry i'm just underwhelmed. i've been pointing to rtd being bad at payoff as a reason i was unenthusiastic for this episode, but this is bad even by his standards.

as that other post i reblogged said, the other first parts of the season finales rtd wrote were actually good STANDALONE episodes while legend of ruby sunday is like a 45 minute long exposition dump. the actual solutions used are kind of questionable but something like army of ghosts or stolen earth is compelling on its own without needing the full season of setup to go with it. legend of ruby sunday underdelivers on its own.

like ok payoff wise i'm only gonna address the decision to use sutekh as the big bad. it's a questionable decision backed up with bad writing. like really... you're gonna pick sutekh.... guy who was in ONE classic who serial? in which he functions perfectly fine by the way! but like.... him?? he's your choice?

and what do we really know about him from this episode? that he's evil? he brings death? you can say that about half the doctor who villains that exist in the first place except the rest of them also come with opportunity for interesting commentary like the being engineered for hatred and killing with the daleks. sutekh doesn't really have any of that. so he's a shallow bad guy.

what he does have that's sort of unique at least in nuwho is that he's a god, and we haven't really done too many god-type antagonists, so that may be novel. unfortunately, rtd already shot himself in the foot by using both the toymaker and maestro recently. it's not novel anymore. it's not new and crazy anymore.

and like, usually the doctor showing real fear actually meant something, but he's been doing that really often recently. he was scared in wild blue yonder, then in the giggle, then in the beatles episode, then in boom, and now he's scared again. this doesn't really help sutekh's case because it seems like all the doctor does nowadays is walk into situations that freak him out.

and what i think this does is make sutekh a particularly bad season antagonist, because nothing makes him special.

do you guys remember how rtd introduced some other season antagonists? in army of ghosts or doomsday (dont remember which one), ten walks into the room and sees the void ship and for once, even the doctor is freaked out by something! he never gets freaked out by things! it actually meant something. when he realizes it's the master in utopia he's kind of terrified and it works because moments of the doctor being scared are reserved for situations that are actually scary. in legend of ruby sunday, he gets scared again, but we don't have that full season of him being unflappable, partly because he just has more occasions of getting freaked out by things than usual and partly because it's just a shorter season and we've only had him for 7 episodes (pre this one) so he's had less opportunities to be delighted at being in some type of crisis situation

and like character wise? does anyone get any character development?

the doctor is basically the same person he's been so far, with the added element of oh he thought this woman was susan. but she's not. so he doesn't really get anything.

ruby wanted to find her mother and was upset she couldn't. which was already her character ever since she was introduced. so she doesn't get anything either.

and the rest of the characters are just doing what they need to to make the story progress or standing around in the scene. and like i don't need mel or kate to be more fleshed out really because i think they're fine. but rose? she already had no character and she still has no character, and also now she works for unit.

and rose noble brings me to donna and ten3. where the fuck are they? like genuinely where are they? it needs to at least be addressed... like are we to understand fifteen is fighting sutekh while ten3 is doing the dishes at the noble household? or did he just wink out of existence at some point between the giggle and now? like there should be at least something about that? and i don't really care if that's going to be addressed later because it's been bugging me in both of the present day episodes we've had this season and fixing it later isn't really going to do anything to fix my initial viewing experience

anyway. this episode was ass. as usual. i can't believe some of you are liking this season i feel like we're watching entirely different shows

[ghostlyvoidshark]

Hnnnghhdhdh thoughts of the sillies forever haunts me. Someone please worsen my brainrot I need to write something. The words wont word right but im trying.

The best I have right now is thinking about how the skelebois would react to someone with tourette-syndrome (because I have it and self indulgence in creative works is great.)

Please let me know your ideas and stuff about this and if you want more guys with other stuff or more reacting to this!

Sans

Very patient with you and honestly would probably not care unless something is timed funny / a silly response. I personally wouldn't be offended and would probably laugh at myself too. Like something happens - maybe he made a comment about something like the price of a ketchup bottle and you reply with a tic like "yippee" and you both end up snorting. Maybe it even becomes an inside joke. "How cheap is it?" / "dont worry its yippee certified."

Wouldn't ever antagonize your tics. He may joke (after a convo about boundaries and if youre genuinely okay with jokes) but he doesnt echo you / encourage you to tic for humors sake or anything else.

He doesn't personally understand tics and how it feels to do it but he understands pain and would 100% be there to help you out when / if you have painful tics. If you allow it he'll get you soothing items and distract you if it will help. Just let him know and he's got you.

If you develop a tic related to him he'll lowkey find it endearing. Like he isn't sure if its because you like him or if it's just a coincidence but he smiles a bit wider when you do it. (Stars help him if you develop a pun related tic like repeating his or saying one)

I usually have happy tics (probs something tied to stimming but it feels like a tic.) So i can imagine if you tell him the related tic is because youre happy he would melt on the inside. Especially when he realizes you echo him because you think hes funny. He has buried his face in a pillow to hide his blush after you leave. Papyrus has teased him for this.

Has on occasion made people uncomfortable for antagonizing you. Like glaring or making pointed jokes to rude people. He'll try to call them out first just in case they don't realize they're being harmful but if they don't care then He'll make them.

Papyrus

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

"Yeah, its just -" *explains tourettes*

"OH! OKAY! :] "

Literally as simple as that. He doesn't draw anymore attention to it or really notice it unless you bring it up. Like he just writes it off as a thing that happens and adjusts quick.

If you're okay with it he'll inform people you have it when they get confused. He figures it must be tiring constantly explaining yourself, but worry not! He loves sharing information and explaining things! Especially when its helpful! Not to mention when the topic can educate others on how to be more respectful and informed on others disabilities. So he sees it as an all around good thing and wouldnt be bothered at all to help. (Also he isnt going to just announce this about you, only saying things in convo if ppl ask)

Also, even if you prefer he not say anything, he will educate himself on the subject so he can be a better help and have a better understanding just in case the subject ever comes up later or he meets someone else with tics. It also doesn't hurt to be aware and conscious of these types of things!

I feel like he's respectful enough to let you finish your sentences but if you struggle really hard he might try to help. He'd gently ask a question about what youre trying to say and suggest words to help. He wont do it again if you ask him to stop - hes not doing it maliciously after all. He just doesn't want you to feel frustrated with yourself.

Is a tiny bit (actually very much) hyped when you echo him or have a tic related to him. He asks if its a good thing (like not a stress tic or smth) and if you say yes then he kinda taps his feet / jogs in place and squeals like an exited fan. Says soemthing along the lines of "I AM HONORED TO BE A PART OF SOMETHING YOU DO TO EXPRESS POSITIVE EMOTIONS!"

Awe and if you copy his laugh? Like echoing it when you're happy or smth he is beaming with pride like he's the sun itself. Because!! His laugh!!! It makes you happy and you want to do it with him!!! Kcjdjsns

Actually surprisingly (or not so surprisingly) helpful with painful tics and tic attacks. He is very good at getting you what you need to soothe you / make things less painful and stressful.

Would lecture someone for antagonizing you.

Red

Unusually patient with you finishing sentences and stuff. He kinda just sees any stutters or interruptions as part of the sentence. Like if someone were to get sidetracked or mutter something - he sees it like that. Sometimes he gets frustrated if you struggle to say something for a bit but its not at you. Its at the fact that he isn't getting what you mean when you try to explain without the troublesome word or if you continue to try to say it and it doesn't click in his head.

His immediate reaction is to side eye you but he doesn't make a big deal out of it. He'll probably comment on it like "you gettin' possessed?" But after you explain hes like "oh." And backs off. Might make some jokes before even processing that it could be offensive. Like not jokes about you being broken or negative stuff (hes trying not to be so rough around the edges lol) but just puns about the tics and jokes about glitches or something.

Probably would be the most ... "normal" about it. Wouldn't really ignore them or treat it like its a sensitive topic. Will point out when its funny (in a non harmful way), asks about them sometimes, and makes small comments here and there. For example if you make a weird gesture he'll tease you about it saying stuff like "castin' spells?" Or "I agree" to something you said that makes no sense.

Never thinks to antagonize your tics. Like yeah, he jokes, but he just doesnt think about it or think to avoid it. He just doesnt.

Gives mean looks and snaps at people who do it. He'll be nonchalant about it at first like "hey man, fuck off with that." But if they keep on he'll get more aggressive.

Kinda awkward with the painful ones at first. He thinks you probably just want to get through it and move on because pain isn't something normally expressed for him so he kinda just subtly goes easy on you without really drawing attention to it. If you express it more openly and/or he gets more comfortable he will try to help you out. He understands having aches and pains from things you can't really help (like wounds and scars) so he'll try to apply what he knows and what you tell him helps.

Grim

A little impatient but tries his best to be polite. He understand its not your fault, and he doesnt blame you for any irritation he has, he just gets antsy when things arent efficient. (Hes working on it.) At least he doesnt rush you or anything... yay?

Other than that he has a "i don't care" attitude about it. Yes yes, its a part of you, so what? He doesn't mean anything by it, he just doesn't see it as something worth acknowledging, really. It's like noticing someone has curly hair. Its there, it might be something worth noting at first, but then you just forget about it until its relevant.

Doesnt care if something is funnily timed either. You can have fun with it but he isnt bothered. But if you have a response to something he says, tic or otherwise, he instinctively takes it as a genuine response lmao.

"HM, THESE NOODLES HAVE BETTER INGREDIENTS BUT THESE ONES HAVE THE PERFECT SHAPE FOR WHAT I WANT TO DO."

*tic: " mac n cheese"

"NO, MACARONI NOODLES WOULD NOT SUFFICE."

Like he doesn't process it entirely that its a tic and kinda just responds seriously. Its kinda funny tbh. You'll probably end up giving up on explaining its a tic anyways if you try so itd be easier to go along with it. (He argues that it is rude not to respond and he is taking his manners seriously now that he is out the underground.)

Will rock someones shit for being disrespectful and antagonizing you. Like maybe not physically but he will verbally rip someone to shreds. Like its pathetic to antagonize someone for something so basic for no reason. Is this person serious? Being rude over something so minor. No, its not funny. What is funny is how this person thinks they can just start shit and be a nuisance with no consequences. People like them would've gotten their teeth knocked in for behaving that way. People at least knew not to be assholes for no reason. (They had a system of 'i leave you alone you leave me alone' unless someone was after something like power or money or whatever. You always had a reason to do violent things. It was normalized, but it wasn't barbaric. )