#anyone who goes on my blog can also notice he is a fav of mine as well

[lizbotw]

Okay. I think I’ll finally confess, because I’m way too excited for us to have matching themes. (Also gonna put that you’re my “buddy” in my description if we are gonna match themes lmao👀)Since you’re favourite character is Reiner, mine is........

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......

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.....Bertholdt!!!!! :DDD You’ve guessed right this whole time but it was hilarious watching the entire progress of my keeping info away from you and leaving you in the dark😌ALSO PLEASE TELL ME YOUR THINKIG PROCESS AND HOW YOU ALREADY HAD AN IDEA OF MY “TASTE” WHAT-you have idea how hard it was to keep it from you without bursting into my endles compliments I have for this tall precious boy who deserves the world🥺 I’ve been having some ideas but also wanted to let you guess..however it was too painful to wait because you were RIGHT THERE ON THE SPOT but you still were unsure and thought it might be Marco or Reiner still aha, and none of this would’ve even been possible if I never mentioned the name because apparently you didn’t even remembered that he existed in the anime😭 So underrated.....Okay I was thinking of changing my quote in the blog name to one of Bert’s quotes and maybe you could do one too? Not to mention matching icons?🥺It sounds like so much fun but idk if you’re up for it..?? 😌Anyways you’re response to my ask was so soft, I’ll just go happily cry in a corner while doing my hw-

KRISTY ISTG I’M GONNA PUNCH YOU I FUCKING KNEW IT as soon as i saw him i was like “i just KNOW kristy is heads over heels for this fucking man” what other guy would you like!!! the answer is none of them!!! only him!!! okay the rest is under the cut because this was an entire journey and a half smh but you ASKED FOR IT

my thought process? whooo this is messy but okay. also if i say it now i won’t have to say it later so i’ll just unload everything here. much easier than ranting in ur dms. also you don’t have to like... reply, you can just read it because i am just delivering what you asked for

okay i’ll confess too, i wasn’t unsure about my answer AT ALL, that was just a cover up 😭 IDK AJDNSJAJ i was so SURE it was him, but there’s always the chance there’s someone else but also literally could not see you liking anyone else. i 100% knew it wasn’t marco bc um... he’ll be gone soon ❤️ idk when but soon. so he’s not exactly a good choice for a long-term fav, but i was like let’s just add him in for some ~mystery~ and also tbh you kinda exposed urself that it’s not him when you said a long time ago that ur okay with jean-marco matching icons but that you still really want me to figure out ur fav

i was trying to figure out how to say it ¿¿¿ as soon as i saw him i was like this is it. i’ve got to tell her. but i didn’t know how to word it AJJSJDJSJ “why do i feel like you like bertholdt 🤡” “ur in love with bertholdt aren’t you 😐” “bertholdt” (that’s right. just his name. and then i’d see how you react.) “him” “reiner’s bff... u like him don’t you” ALL OF IT and we weren’t as close then so i was like AJSJJSJDJ HOW TO WORD THINGS- the amount of times i almost said it but was like hmm... nvm let’s go back to discussing eren, that’s the safest thing to talk about rn. grrr i was just “it’s bertholdt, u like bertholdt u ABSOLUTELY LOVE BERTHOLDT I KNOW IT 🤡🤡🤡” like i could not figure out how to... convey. it was just 😐🤡😐🤡😐🤡 bc it’s HIM. but i was like ur gonna hate me if i say it like that but those were my emotions BC IT’S SO OBVIOUSSSSS

AND WHAT REINER????? nooo i absolutely KNEW you did not like him, plus you said you already had ur reiner phase smh kristy u are so obvious. SO OBVIOUS KRISTY IT HURTS but you also said you were being very careful and not giving me clues??? so i was thinking maybe i’m looking at things too surface level here. I AM NEVER SECOND GUESSING MYSELF AGAIN

i knew it was a guy even tho you kept saying “they” bc YEAH INTUITION 🧘‍♀️ only maybe i’d think you like christa or whatever but idk she’s like... not the first choice. hmm WAIT LMFAO ALSO YOU ALREADY SAID HANGE WAS UR FAV FEMALE CHARACTER kristy the things you say... the clues were enough to confirm my initial suspicions 😈 man me mentioning bertholdt = opening the floodgates for you YOU WERE SO EXCITED

let it be known that i was onto you from the start 😠 if you told me it was someone else i would be like “okay... lies” but in the back of my mind i would have known you must have an intense bertholdt phase at some point. it’s him. it’s always been him.

okay let me explain my relationship with bertholdt because i didn’t forget him ENTIRELY nooo don’t think that 😭 so he shows up with his buddy reiner and talks to eren ❤️ instantly is on my radar bc talking to my boy??? already am like “kristy vibes.” cut to jean existing 🥰 am only focused on him during trost arc bc eren died :( see reiner and annie together, so cute 💞 but where is bertholdt? i decide to write a thing about my thoughts on all the characters. i end up writing a paragraph on why bertholdt is sus bc he’s all but disappeared at this point 😐 felt bad bc it felt like i was slandering him unnecessarily and i knew i should be nice to him bc you like him and i didn’t want to hurt your feelings. i stare at the draft for weeks. decide to go back and look for bertholdt bc i felt like i had missed him (this brings us to current times). i see him, think he’s an okay guy, however seeing him also just leads to me gathering even more evidence that he’s sus. am panicking bc i want to share my thoughts but i don’t know how you will react. this leads to me tentatively telling you about how i think he’s pretty cool so you can see that i am NOT a bertholdt hater. slowly start mentioning my suspicions of a few different characters, etc. you know how it goes from there. i wanted to say it was bertholdt when i sent you that message but i chickened out idk so i was like “haha, this is NOT my official guess okay <3” 😍 grrr the fact that rn i was just going to be like “it’s bertholdt kristy. i know it and you don’t have to tell me i’m right because i already know i am” because i was like okay, we’re good friends at this point, anything i say will be fine <3 plus i was tired of living with this burden of knowledge AND NOW YOU’VE TAKEN THE REVEAL AWAY FROM ME that’s it, i’m going to find a new fav and not tell you about them and make you guess who it is. this is what you deserve.

he’s always been vaguely on my radar but anyway the point is i kept trying to figure out where he was but i’m blind so therefore i assumed he was up to no good. now that i have looked for him and seen him, i still believe he is up to no good (I MEAN THIS IN A NICE WAY PLEASE DO NOT HATE ME). omg i have things to say about him but i still don’t want to be mean 😭 he must have redeeming qualities bc you like him??? but. he gives me certain ~vibes~ LIKE LITERALLY LOOK AT HIM just standing there with reiner (speaking of which reiner is not off the hook either)

gahhh okay i should really just show you the theories thing okay it’s not so much theories now that i look at it but more so my thoughts on the characters i wrote bc slowly it’s becoming more and more irrelevant the more we talk so like... give me a sec and i’ll show you. ugh you know what i won’t even bother to edit it, you’ll see my RAW thoughts 😭 they haven’t really changed much anyway because i haven’t watched much aot lately. just use ur intuition and you’ll be able to tell which thoughts have changed for me 💆‍♀️ (read as: anything i say about “where is bertholdt” = he was there all along but i accidentally ignored him) he’s so endearingly cute tho... i am infuriated because i cannot love all these characters. this show... how does it do this to me. also you said you really hope i like whoever it is and i feel like for all the other characters it’s very obvious i’d like them bc they’re all so AKDKDKDK. plus i talked about how much i loved most of them anyway, he was one of the few i barely discussed my feelings about 👀

when we were talking about him i just KNEW you wanted to scream about how much you love him. i was like “do it kristy DO IT prove me right” but ur self control is unmatched, i could never. like you sprinkled in some praise for the other characters but i knew who you were REALLY thinking about ;))))) I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TOOK AWAY THE CHANCE FOR THE REVEAL AWAY FROM ME this is the equivalent of instantly knowing the answer to a question as soon as the teacher says it but then someone raises their hand faster than you 😐

hhhggg this is getting long but you wanted to know your type as i see it? (okay i just noticed you said “taste” actually but whatever, same thing) dude, bertholdt is the BLUEPRINT for all the guys you like rn. so sweet... like ur suga selfship. it’s so clear. potentially will do something i don’t want to say evil buuuuut, like hello??? DABI. there’s more but you get the point. the day you tell me you don’t like someone like bertholdt is the day i give up on eren. HAHA THERE’S SUCH A PATTERN plus the fact that bertholdt is legit all of those qualities rolled into one??? perfection. also before i even watched the show i saw pictures of him and he looked like someone you’d like so i kind of had that idea in my head from before to look out for him but i kept forgetting his name bc i can’t spell so i was like “who was that guy again” AND I COULDN’T SEARCH HIM UP BC I DIDN’T KNOW HIS NAME... oops? wowww if i wasn’t so shy and scared of you telling me i was wrong and then never talking to me again we would have been done with this whole thing a looooong time ago damn

matching icons yes omg reiner 🥰 he’s all mine now 🥰 damn wait i just changed my icon and i kind of like the vibes it gives off for me. hmm tbf i’ve been meaning to change up my theme and make a new header but i’ve been lazy. it was going be a cute dark blue/purple halloween theme but </3 yeah. i even had the pictures ready and i just had to edit them akjajsjsj. so if you have a bertholdt quote that means i should have a reiner one right? 👀 well he’s said eren’s name before right? so i’ll just keep my current title 🥰 JKJK AJSNSJAJJA i’ll go look for something. hhhggg wait okay can we do them for november? i know i’m going to want a change when november comes 😭 it’ll be like cleanse from october bc man is life kicking my ass rn. plus if i do it rn i’m going to be obsessed with making the new theme PERFECT and i just Do Not have the time to be busy graphic designing my blog 😭 I’M SO EXCITED FOR THEM TOO but ahhh man i love designing things like this so i’m going to be so focused on that. the fact that i briefly considered changing to an eren icon at one point but then i thought you would judge me </3 yes i have a problem with my obsession, what of it also we are more than just buddies, we’re practically aot soulmates at this point because we keep liking the different halves of all the iconic pairs. jean/marco, reiner/bertholdt... um okay well only those two but yeah i’m just kidding, buddy is good hehe that’s so cute omg pls use that 🥰

okay i hope ur happy, i have just exposed all of my thoughts. this is what you deserve for your precious boy so here ❤️ also i was feeling bad and was about to ask you if it’s okay to be sus of bertholdt because he’s truly a cute baby to me plus he has ur heart so maybe he’s truly good :( but then i remembered you like the villains in bnha so i wouldn’t put it past you to like someone who may or may not do something... suspicious. so i will be deciding myself who’s sus and who isn’t 😠😌 no criticism allowed this man is UP TO SOMETHING it’s always the quiet ones

ALSO I WAS GOING TO GO BACK AND LOOK FOR HIM EITHER WAY I SWEAR not just bc you mentioned him!!! 😭 he was always in the back of my mind ❤️ well i didn’t know exactly who he was but i was vaguely like okay the tall soft one... need to look out for him for kristy’s sake. okay maybe you DID influence me in some way to go look for him because technically i only ever even considered him bc he stood out as someone you’d like. but ur right, so underrated 😭 lo siento bertholdt u are actually too cute for this world and i am a dummy for not realizing that sooner :(

anyway now back to our regularly scheduled program of me talking about the armored titan ❤️ whoever you are mr. armor pls hmu ily ❤️ poor reiner watching me be unloyal rn. so weird that i’m going through a phase for both of them but here we are. this stupid titan is the only thing i’m looking forward to in the rest of the trost arc and if he doesn’t show up i’m going to wail pls,,,,,

mwah yes do ur hw kristy very good. i will not do mine but that’s okay ❤️ ur the responsible one out of the two of us also the fact that you said my response to your last ask was soft and now here i’m boderline yelling at you about bertholdt... duality please talk to me about how much you love bertholdt now or else ❤️

[morelike-bi-light]

Bingo Fic: Rosalie and Emmett as Parents

So this blog reached 500 followers this week! When I started this blog, it never occurred to me that this would happen, or that I’d find such an awesome fan community and such incredible mutuals, but it did and I did, and it’s kind of changed my life! So much so, that I wanted to celebrate! Those blog bingo sheets have been making their rounds, so I made one for myself, and decided that if anybody filled it out, I’d gift them a 500 word fic (500 words for 500 followers, but that wasn’t planned lol) for a prompt of their choosing!

One of my fav mutuals @rosalie-stan was the first to reply, and thus, the first bingo fic is all for her, for the prompt in the title! Hope you don’t mind - I went a little over 500 words, and then added some headcanons, because I honestly loved your prompt way too much. Hope you like it!

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It's a quiet summer afternoon for the first time in almost a decade. The air conditioner is whirring gently, even if Rosalie and Emmett can't feel it. It's not for their sake - Bree volunteered to take the kids out to a movie, but little Alicia was still too young for the theater.

Not that Emmett minds - in fact, he can't think of anywhere else he'd rather be, than plopped down on the couch with his exhausted baby in his arms, and his soulmate tucked against his shoulder as she fingers through a piece of historical fiction that Carlisle had called 'certainly' entertaining and 'passably' accurate.

"Aw. Blinky," he grins, cradling the baby’s curl-covered head closer to his chest as she gurgles sleepily. His brows furrow for a moment. "That is crazy. She's like a little mini Rose."

Rosalie glances up to shoot him a dry look before going back to her book.

"Why do you insist on doing this?"

"What, tell the truth?" He shrugs, carefully so as not to jostle either his daughter or wife. "It's not my fault you married an honest man."

"She's a baby."

"So?"

"So, she looks like a baby - which I'm not."

Emmett springs for the throat. "You're my baby."

Rosalie bites her lip, smothering a grin. She shouldn't reward his bad behavior.

“Don't be funny," she huffs, batting at him absently.

"Impossible," he declares with a smirk. "And you know how many little brothers and sisters I had. I'm a certifiable baby face expert. Trust me, she's almost as close to you as Donnie."

"I trust you more than anyone else in the world," she deadpans. "Doesn't mean you're right."

"But you haven't disagreed either," he points out. "Not that it matters. Whether you disagree or not, she still looks like you."

Rosalie turns on him, closing the book. "You say that about all our kids!"

Emmett shushes her, pressing a cheeky finger to his lips and nodding at the drowsy baby curled in the crook of his arm. Rosalie rolls her eyes - Lisa could sleep through a hurricane - but lowers her voice just a bit.

"A few months ago, you tried to convince me that Bree has my smile, and she's not even related to us."

"I didn't say that," he snorts. "I said you smile the same way."

She raises a perfect brow in disbelief. "And that's different?"

He's as unaffected as she is unimpressed. "Totally."

"Well, I'm not buying it."

"No, really," he drawls. "You both do that cute little thing where you clamp your mouth shut like you're trying to hold it in, but then something will make you laugh, and it'll stretch real wide and get all dimpley."

If she could flush, Rosalie thinks she'd be beet red. Emmett's eyes are crinkled, glimmering like stars. Home, they say, I'm home when I see you, when I see our kids. It should be impossible to say so much with a simple look. She has to duck her head, look at her book's cover instead. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, it's so," he murmurs softly, and sits up straight. "And I can prove it... 'cause you're doing it right now."

The dam breaks, and she can feel the truth of his words as a smile blossoms on her lips.

"You're ridiculous," she says.

"You love it." He's right again.

She shakes her head, sighing as she leans against his shoulder, looking over their fourth child carefully.

"You're wrong about this one though. If anyone, she looks like you - the little button nose, and those same curls like you and Beth." Her smile softens. "This one's all yours."

Emmett shakes his head right back. "She might have my hair, maybe my nose, too. Hard to say - but look."

Alicia's eyes flutter softly as she pries them open, a sweet, familiar blue. Her gaze wanders a moment then settles on her parents, before she babbles a short hello.

"Look at those baby blues. Those are yours, right?"

Rosalie stares for a moment. A phantom pain burns like ice in her throat, but just for a moment.

"Right." She swallows, but she doesn't try to hide her smile this time. "Right. Those are mine. I guess she's both of ours."

“Course, she is,” he hums. “They all are. Always will be.”

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As I mentioned, in the process of writing this, I accidentally created a whole Rosalie-Emmett family, so paragraphs of headcanons for context galore under the read more! Otherwise, hope you enjoyed the fic and thanks for following!

So as you probably noticed, Bree is alive and well and a part of the family in this AU. She not only lives and is a Cullen, but Emmett and Rosalie have adopted and adore her just like their own. Thus, she’s the oldest kid in the Rose-Emmett fam. They've had her for about a quarter of a century during this fic. Eight years ago, Carlisle discovered that a vampire couple could genetically have a child by using a surrogate. After some discussion between Emmett, Rosalie, and Bree, the family decided to expand. Yay!

With this, the second eldest kid is Elizabeth Cadence 'Beth' Cullen, age seven. When she was a human, Rosalie had always pictured naming her first daughter Elizabeth, and her middle name comes from her father's favorite human sister whom he'd once promised a goddaughter. Seeing as he’s the only Cullen with a happy backstory, I like to think he’d want his kids to have ties to his human family, even if he’s outlived them by a century. Anyways, they call her Beth. She has black curls, big wide eyes, and an easy smile like her father, plus the small, straight nose and excellent bone structure of her mother.

Beth is a goofball who loves to get herself into either trouble or danger, though the latter of which is hard to come by with an extended family of vampires and werewolves at her back. However, she is also incredibly generous, whether with her toys, her time, or her patience. She has a quick temper, though, and goes cold when she's angry, like her mom. Her favorite activity is running with her family, especially when Bree picks her up and carries her on her back, but she's also fond of music, and is passionate about dance. Her favorite babysitter is either Aunt Alice or Uncle Jasper, both of whom coddle her immensely, and her role model is definitely Aunt Leah.

Their third child is Donovan Matthew Cullen, age three. He gets his first name from a baby book, but his middle name is that of Emmett's eldest human brother, who always looked after the rest of the Masen clan. He has soft, wavy dark blonde hair, doe eyes, and a full pout like his mother, but he shares Emmett's button nose. During the summer, his cheeks get freckly and the tips of his hair gets sun-bleached almost white. (He also needs glasses as he gets older.)

Baby Donnie, as his older sisters call him, is a serious little fellow, very polite and horribly gentle, who likes to read - which is why he gets on with his aunt Bella so well. However, he can get just as rowdy as his sister, though he is greatly less likely to get messy due to his thoughtful nature and sensitivity to criticism. He gets along perfectly with both Grandma Esme and Uncle Edward, who is dying to teach him the piano, but secretly his favorite is probably Uncle Seth, who always knows how to make him feel both good and normal.

Their youngest, and the topic of this ficlet, is Alicia Esme 'Lisa' Cullen, not yet one. Obviously, her first name is derived from Alice, and her middle from Esme. They chose a slightly different name for her first because as Rosalie puts it, she should always remember to be her own person, even as she learns from others. Emmett assures Bella she has dibs on the next daughter, but I think four is enough for them - and she tells him as much. From Emmett, Lisa inherited dark, wavy hair, a button nose, and a round babyface, but she has her mother's eyes and full, solemn mouth.

Lisa grows up to be a mellow kid, partially due to nature and partially because she's had to learn to adapt on the fly without breaking too much of a sweat. She has the best sense of humor in the family, and the sharpest wit, due to observational skills and an impeccable sense of timing honed by years of living with the boisterous extended family she has (which includes the Clearwaters as step aunt and uncle, and through them, the wolf pack.) Out of everyone, she is the most down-to-earth, but also has the hardest time initiating confrontation when she’s hurt or upset. She has a very special bond with Grandpa Carlisle, and she adores her Aunt Victoria (because why not combine all the AUs?).

Whew, that was a lot! I would not blame anyone who took one look at those blocks of text and ran the other direction. But I enjoyed writing them, so it’s all good! If you actually made it this far, I am very impressed, and flattered, and I love you and thank you with all my heart. Hope you had fun reading!

[midnight-in-town]

hi acchan, i hope you dont mind me asking something about seiakiramon. i dont get why some people blaming akira for not searching for seidou. i mean, its not like she knows about his true feelings (we as readers know, but akira doesnt), all she knows is that the last time they met, he tried to kill her, yet she shielded him and confessed to him. when she woke up, her whole world had changed, but the reason why her world changed had gone. not even a goodbye. now, if i were akira, cont.

Hello Anon! And don’t worry, I don’t mind. :)

The thing is, I am kind of shocked because I don’t recall ever reading that Akira in particular was to be blamed when it comes to Seidou leaving on his own? I surely missed those posts then and tbh I’m glad I did, because that is just plain bullshit (as always, you’ll note that #it-gotta-be-the-girl’s-fault, how original). 

Myself, I wrote and reblogged quite a lot about the Seiakiramon dynamic (because it’s one of my favorite in TG) and basically, from my point of view and as described in these posts, Amon, Akira and Seidou are all to be blamed for the state of their current trio/dynamic.

Just take a look at ch117-121, it’s so plainly evident that I don’t even get the idea of why it has to be only Akira’s fault:

Amon and Seidou saw their own situations changing 4 years ago, because of the ghoulification experiments, when for Akira it happened in the span of a few minutes a month ago…

…when for once she listened to her own feelings and not just to her duty. 

Basically, if anyone needs one quote to fully understand what Akira’s character is all about, it’s this one:

It’s this quote that allows everyone to understand why exactly she saved Takizawa in the first place: Akira always used to cling to the past, so as to not feel completely empty because she couldn’t help losing people over and over again, which is precisely something that she cannot do anymore by the mini arc of ch117-121, all because she shielded Takizawa. 

(under read more because of length)

She used to cling to her dad -> he died, so she clung to the CCG and, even though the CCG cannot be her pillar of strength anymore, by confronting Touka and Hinami she can’t even cling to her hatred of ghouls anymore either, which is why she’s so lost at the time of ch121.

She used to cling to Amon and Takizawa and had feelings for them -> they disappeared so she clung to her new partner, Haise, except that he “died” to become Kaneki, an enemy of the CCG. However, she herself is now an enemy of the CCG because she shielded Takizawa, which goes back to the point above.

In short:

Akira is understandably lost because she was raised to be a ghoul killer and, not only did she shield one of them out of pure raw feelings because she never could let go of who he used to be for her in the past, but she now can’t hate ghouls anymore either and became an enemy of the corporation she and her parents used to work for. 

Now, about the Seiakiramon dynamic itself by the time of ch121:

Seidou is to blame for chickening and refusing to go see Akira once she woke up

Seidou is to blame for not even being able to talk to Amon after saving him and trying to give him his cross back through Kaneki

Akira is to blame for not asking after Seidou

Akira is to blame for refusing to talk to Amon and Kaneki until she confronted Touka and Hinami

Amon is to blame for not going to talk to Seidou

Amon is to blame for not really acknowledging his own situation of being a OEG

Now I say that, but obviously they all have their reasons for acting the way they did, which is why “blaming them” is too harsh a verb in my opinion.

In Akira’s case, it’s what I explained above: she clung to the past until she couldn’t anymore and now she has to process her new situation (triggered by her saving Takizawa). She doesn’t hate ghouls anymore, but she’s not yet ready to fight for them and thus she has to find her own place in this world.

In Amon’s case, even though he learnt to live as a OEG for the last 4 years, he is still not fully accepting his situation (cannibalizing instead of eating humans for example), which is why he’s still not completely ready to fight for the ghouls’ side (as he told Kaneki) and it’s all because of his childhood trauma. 

Amon is a victim of Donato Porpora, as much as the kids Donato and him killed, and through this horrific childhood, he came to hate ghouls because of Donato’s example, which is why Mado Kureo was and still is a good role model in his eyes.

Still, Kaneki is the person who taught Amon that not all ghouls were like Donato but, because of what Donato put him through and Amon not being ready to forgive himself (as symbolized by his cross), to this day Amon still refuses to fight for the ghouls’ side…

…preferring to keep on seeing himself as who he used to be as a ghoul investigator and thus refusing to face the CCG, unless it is to save people he cares about (ex-investigators most of the time). 

What’s important for Amon is to keep on doing what he thinks is right…

Because he’s still conflicted as to what he should do (as a OEG still not ready to choose the ghouls’ side) and what he should feel (hating Donato and looking up to Mado Kureo, but still harboring something besides hatred for Donato), compared to his past self who was human and thus had a more understandable place in this world.

Finally, when it comes to Seidou, he’s actually the only one out of these three who moved on at some point during the last 4 years and who doesn’t intend on clinging onto the past anymore, not even to his feelings for Amon and Akira.

In that, Seidou’s resolve is way more impressive than Amon’s or Akira’s, because he now sees himself as what he has been for the last 4 years:

And because he is moving on, his feelings for Akira and Amon evolved too and he stopped having resentment towards them to switch for redemption…

And redemption includes him thinking that they would be better off without him because he decided to live on as a ghoul, thus shouldering all of “his sins” so far, whereas Amon still saw him as a ghoul investigator during Rushima arc and Akira as her old comrade from before the Anteiku raid arc. 

So you see, as with Kaneki and Touka (another fav dynamic of mine), the problem here is with miscommunication: Akira, Amon and Seidou are still intertwining all together, forever linked by their feelings, but the fact that they’re conflicted about their respective situation is making it hard to solve their also conflicted feelings about one another:

Akira never could forgive herself for losing Takizawa at the same time as Amon when she could have stopped him and that’s why she saved him. At the same time saving him changed her whole life and it’s hard to admit it and face him as a result, which is why she’s just starting to realize that she should find a new way to live in order to be able to accept her feelings for both Amon and Takizawa.

Amon still can’t forgive himself for never being strong enough to stand up against Donato, thus he still has a bias against the ghoul kind and that’s why he can’t fully accept being a OEG, unlike Seidou.At the same time, it’s because Amon had the time to face his own emptiness after becoming a OEG that he can now say that he wants to live by doing what’s right and that’s also why he can support Akira, as he said in ch121.

Takizawa is the only one who moved on from the past, because he knows he doesn’t have the right to hope going back after what he did as a OEG, so as a result he decided to live on as a ghoul. At the same time, it’s because he’s moving on to find redemption and to turn his back to his past as an investigator that he wrongly believes that Amon and Akira would be better off without him. Hence why he left in ch118 without being able to talk to either of them.

At this point, it’s because the three of them are so opposed in their current way of living that it’s hard for them to confront each other: the past can’t be reached anymore for the three of them because the present is too drastically different, but the future still is seen in a negative light because it’s never going to be the past.

The only thing is that Amon and Akira decided to support each other because they’re not ready to completely stop hoping about going back to the past (at least where their feelings are concerned), while Seidou convinced himself that moving on was the only way he had to keep the right to care about making sure Amon and Akira could be happy (”when your own future has gone to shit, all you have left is to live for someone else”).

I also reblogged a lot of great posts about Seiakiramon dynamic, Anon! So if anything is unclear feel free to check the tag on my blog. :) I hope I at least managed to convey somewhat properly why it’s not anyone’s fault in particular but rather the whole dynamic that is complex, because their feelings for now can’t be taken independently from how they intend on living their lives:

Akira has no idea about what to do, what to feel and whom to fight for.

Amon wants to do “what’s right” and he can’t side with either the CCG or the ghouls. 

Seidou decided to live on as a ghoul, but you’ll notice that he’s not joining Kaneki’s rebellion because, despite seeing himself as such, he doesn’t really care about other ghouls and coexistence.

That’s why it’s important for Akira and Amon and Seidou to confront Takizawa: for now, by supporting each other, they stay on the idea that going back to the past (at least where their feelings are concerned) is possible, while this idea couldn’t be less away from Seidou’s mind at the moment, because he’s the only one who fully moved on and accepted his new situation to find redemption. 

Paradoxically, while Amon and Akira are 100% acknowledging their feelings for their little trio (see Akira putting Amon and Takizawa on the exact same level when it comes to her past feelings for them and Amon never despising Seidou), Seidou still has some kind of inferiority complex that makes him think that Akira and Amon are better off without him. That is why he says he wants to live for their sake, forsaking his own happiness through his idea of redemption when the other two never did that.

TL;DR it’s not over and it’s not Akira’s fault that Seidou left but his own because he decided that he had no place next to Amon and Akira (when he does, otherwise Akira and Amon wouldn’t have saved him in the first place).

Sorry it got suuuuper long, but I like Seiakiramon way too much and so I rambled. :/ I hope it’s understandable, have a nice day, Anon!

[klaineitupanotch]

A post about Yuri on Ice.

So you may have noticed I’ve been blogging a lot of a certain anime titled ‘Yuri on Ice’ and I felt like writing about it a little. 

First off, I used to be really into anime in my 20s. I cosplayed and went to cons and everything. Now I’m more of a semi casual fan who still likes anime but I’m not way near into it as I used to be. I didn’t watch any new series, buy any merch, go to cons and my cosplaying days are over. Every once in a while I might watch an old fav show of mine and once in a blue moon I may even check out a new one. But I was always still just a casual watcher at best.  Then Yuri on Ice happened. Though I’m still not a super fan as far as fans go fyi. I adore the show a lot, as I will go over, but there are way bigger fans of it than me I know. Which is fine. =) Anyway. At first I was wary of watching it. I’m not big on sports anime that have tons of queer-bating in it and I was afraid YOI was another one. It kept popping up on my dash though and people seemed to like it. I still decided to hold off and see how the show would go.  I can’t really remember the full details and SPOILERS AHEAD but episode 7 aired and the fans went crazy. Yuri and Victor kissed at the end of it. I decide okay then I’ll check it out. Right from the start I was hooked, even if it wasn’t what I originally thought it would be. It should be known that I consider myself the farthest from a sports fan that you can get. Mind you, I don’t hate sports. I honestly have nothing but respect for atheletes and their dedicated fans. I could never cope with the stress of routing for a team X___X.  I was instantly charmed by Victor and his silver-hair sexiness; from the fluid way he moves his body to his oozing sex appeal voice. It kind of fits too since we’re kinda seeing him through Yuuri’s eyes. It’s no wonder Yuri fell under his trance and us along with it. As for Yuri, he’s a character you can easily relate to and one you connected with from the start. I pretty much watched as many eps as I could after the first one. I can’t remember how many days it took me to finish. It could have been a few since I was working but I seem to recall it didn’t take me too too long lol. Also not all of the eps had aired since I think 8 had just been released at the time (again I can’t remember exactly).  By the time I was caught up I was totally sold. I loved the story, the characters and Yuuri and Victor’s relationship. Sure the nature of their relationship was never 100% canon confirmed, as in, neither character directly said ‘I’m in love with you. Please be my lover etc’ but the evidence is still there. It’s refreshing because a pure definition (as much as we’d love to see it) isn’t really needed. The love they feel for each other is there for us to see in the interactions with each other and their own inner thoughts.  One of the many things I love about the show is how supportive the characters are with each other. I mean, on one level they’re all in competition with one another and yet they’re constantly cheering each other on during their skates and just in general. It’s just so great to see, especially among young men.  Another thing I love is how the characters are able to show emotion. There’s no sort of holding back when it comes to crying. They just let it all out and it’s beautiful to see. Especially when they’ve just finished skating. *sigh* The cast is fun too, Victor is obviously my favourite but I’m always drawn towards the flirtatious type like him lol. But I like the whole cast too, even JJ though he has his cringe-worthy moments and then there’s Chris and his antics on ice *smacks head* but that’s what makes them more realistic.  Now that the first season is over I find myself watching the episodes over and over. I’ve also been wanting to buy merchandise but the show is still new so it’s harder to get official merch (at least for a somewhat affordable price). As for fanart, I’ve preordered two charms off of etsy and I’m getting a cool fanzine too. I find myself tempted on getting my hands on some doujinshii but I am holding off for now since I’m trying to cut down on my online purchases lol. I’d love some art stuff from Redbubble but I have to be careful because it seems a lot of the stuff there is reposted screenshots (which isn’t soo sooo bad) and art that doesn’t seem to be by the person selling them. I just want to ensure what I’m buying it art from the actual artist themselves and with their full consent. I’ve got my eye on a couple designs but again I am trying to resist. I did buy a phonecase of Yuri and Victor’s matching outfits from episode 12 though! I can’t wait for it to come!

I got a crunchyroll membership because of the show. I’m even enjoying another series now (March came in Like a Lion or aka 3-gatsu no Lion) which is from the same creator of one of my all time fav anime Honey & Clover. 

If I had to pick a favourite episode then it would have to be 10 with 12 as a close second.  I’ve just recently discovered that Afterbuzz is doing an aftershow review of YOI and it’s awesome. I highly recommend it to any YOI fans. They’ve done up to episode 8 and new eps air 7pm on Mondays. It’s the perfect way to wait until we get any news of season 2.  Season 2 has all but been confirmed at this point also. I can’t wait for it to be confirmed for sure. Until then I will delve deeper into my adoration of this show and watch it over and over. Things will no doubt die down as time goes on but that’s a good thing haha. I’m not super into the fandom, as in, I’m not interacting with people on tumblr and other places but again that’s fine.  I’m going to simply enjoying this wonderful gift of a show like I have been already. OH! For anyone not wanting to see my many reblogs of it, I’m doing my best to tag them as yoi but I might let one slip without tagging every once in a while.