#and the thing is he's too nice to tell the class to stfu he will just be like 'guys im having trouble hearing the question'

[chocosvt]

oh

[worldlxvlys]

Omg could you do a Matt version of the tiktok au thing you just made for Chris PLEASE IM BEGGING

TIK TOK

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: cursing, sexual jokes

a/n: since y’all liked the chris one so much, here’s the matt version !!

*click yes to actually watch the edits*

WATCH VIDEO ?

yes. no.

COMMENTS:

@ y/n

it’s me guys, i’m people 🤭

@lustfulslxt

the things i’d let that man do to me

-> @ y/n the things i’ve let that man do to me

-> @sleepysturnss OH ????

-> @sturncakez care to share w the class 🤨

@sophssturn

MATT + CARNIVAL IS SO 😫

-> @xoxo4chrisss I’M SAYINGGG

@ y/n

is it crazy to say that i moaned at this edit ??

-> @mattsneezing yes (same)

-> @mbbsgf it’s ok i moan every time i see matt 😋

-> @mattslolita i’ve found my people 🥰

@chr1sgirl4life

i’m a chris girl, i’m a chris girl, i’m a chris girl

-> @ y/n that wasn’t very convincing girl

-> @venusxsturnio it’s ok to love them both

-> @ y/n ok katherine pierce 😍

WATCH VIDEO ??

yes. no.

COMMENTS:

@ y/n

my eyes just rolled into the back of my head

-> @ mattsturniolo proof ? 👀

-> @freshloveee oh my !

-> @queen161718 MATT 😭

-> @starsturniolo i feel like i’m interrupting

@ y/n

THE RINGS THE RINGS THE RINGS I’M GONNA PASS OUT OH MY GOD

-> @ mattsturniolo this is why i wear them

-> @defnotayonna awww how sweet

-> @ y/n no not sweet he’s trying to kill me 😫

@robins-scoop

i’m in love with matt’s fits

-> @smoothies-are-cool i’m in love with matt’s face

-> @55sturn i’m in love with matt’s tats

-> @ y/n i’m in love with matt

-> @urmom2bitch i’ll be sleeping on the side of the highway tn !

@ y/n

this song is actually me @ matt

-> @sturniolowhore this song is actually me @ u

-> @hearts4chriss nah real cs chris is my man but matt ???? good lord 😮‍💨 (don’t tell chris)

-> @ y/n ok i won’t girl !! (@ christophersturniolo)

-> @ christophersturniolo this is why i have commitment issues 😕

WATCH VIDEO?

yes. no.

COMMENTS:

@ y/n

the amount of times i’ve made matt do push-ups in front of me bc of that one clip 😫

-> @bernardenjoyer girl next time record it tf ??

-> @ y/n who says i didn’t ????

-> @readerakayourname sharing is caring babe

-> @nikolastrn gatekeeping isn’t nice

-> @ y/n i fear i’m just not ready to share yet

@breeloveschris

my man is just so 😫

-> @ y/n aren’t you a nate girl ?? worry about him 😒

-> @rootbeerworshiper exactly like stay away from MY man tf

-> @ y/n nah girl nice try tho

-> @luverboychris my man’s brother looks so good here

-> @ y/n yesss there we go, chris is all yours bae

-> @ christophersturniolo DID YOU JUST GIVE ME AWAY ??? 😟

-> @ y/n uh….no 😄

WATCH VIDEO ??

yes. no.

COMMENTS:

@ y/n

GOD DAMN MY MAN IS FIIINNEEEE 😫

@ nicolassturniolo the way i just watched y/n fall to the floor while watching this

-> @endereies SHE’S SO REAL FOR THIS

-> @raysmayhem-72 she’s me, i’m her

-> @ christophersturniolo YOU EVER MAKE A BITTY HIT HER KNEESSSS

-> @ y/n chris stfu hoe you literally fell to the floor too

-> @ christophersturniolo CAUSE YOU PUSHED ME ??

-> @patscorner stop fighting guys, can’t we all just get along ??

-> @ y/n tell chris to stop and i will

-> @bernardsbendystraws nah keep fighting y’all, this is my chance to snatch matt up from y/n

-> @bueckerssturns you go, i’ll keep her distracted

-> @ y/n Y’ALL KNOW I CAN SEE YOUR COMMENTS RIGHT 😭

-> @junnniiieee07 you’re dreaming rn none of this is even happening

-> @ y/n NOT YOU TRYING TO GASLIGHT ME

-> @ christophersturniolo gaslighting isn’t real you’re just crazy

-> @ y/n i swear to god chris

WATCH VIDEO ??

yes. no.

COMMENTS:

@ y/n

i’m on my knees for this man

-> @ mattsturniolo aren’t you always ??

-> @teapartyprincess4two the way my jaw DROPPED

-> @imwetforyourmom OH MY GOD ???

-> @chrisloyalgf god, it’s me again 😔

@ christophersturniolo

just watched y/n add this to her matt folder of over 3k edits 😍

-> @ y/n the next time you ask me for a ride i’m letting your ass walk

-> @yamamasjumpercables WHY DID CHRIS EXPOSE HER LIKE THAT 😭

-> @vanteguccir this is what i mean when i say me and y/n would be best friends

-> @selenascorner me and y/n might actually be the same person

@ y/n

chris over here acting like he doesn’t have a matt folder of his own…

-> @ christophersturniolo i’m done with this app for the day 😒

-> @chrisstopherfilmed chris just got ate tf up

-> @bbglmfao she clocked him quick too

@evieolo

watching chris and y/n beef in the comments under matt edits is the highlight of my day

-> @l0ser43v3r they’re always exposing each other 😭

-> @ineedchriscock matt is always lurking and just watches it

-> @ y/n he thrives off of watching the chaos

-> @ mattsturniolo you’re not wrong

CREDITS:

@ m6ttfilms on tiktok

@ hcrrysgf on tiktok

@ stvrnielo on tiktok

@ skyesturniolo on tiktok

@ .sturniolocentral on tiktok

masterlist

[rrahuntersblog]

Hi Cynifer! (And Dot).

Don't know you. Don't want to. I never even heard of you until I got informed of some hate my way. I don't even have you two blocked but you blocked me. Interesting!

So.

Let's address a couple of things.

I don't hate Danneel. I dislike her, because she's vapid, materialistic, unsupportive, and humiliates Jensen on the regular. I have proof of a lot of this. I feel she's a bad wife, and yeah, a bad person. I'm willing to go on the word of a "rando" online over this too, because the rest of the evidence indicates it a lot.

Second, Cynifer, wow--you're also materialistic and unsupportive of Jensen. To quote your very words: "If I married Jensen Ackles I'd probably do nothing but make him babies, buy myself all kinds of expensive clothes and support whatever charities my heart desired."

Don't care about the charity thing but I can almost guarantee you that Danneel really doesn't. She's a performative activist, not an actual one. And wow--Jensen only wanted one baby. Danneel forced him to have two more, essentially. And did a shitty way of informing him as well. Expensive clothes? Why? The price tag doesn't indicate class nor taste. You can find nice stuff at cheaper prices, so the only thing you care about is the label? Pathetic.

And also: Nice dig at Gen there. Yeesh.

You also said: "I just think people who slut shame her and make up horrendous lies about her are fucking assholes who should be punched in the throat."

So that's considered a threat, BTW. Don't even try. And I'm not making up horrendous lies about how she humiliates Jensen, fat-shamed him, and has zero respect for him.

You also said: ""She identifies as a victim of abuse projecting her experiences onto Jensen for clicks."

I wasn't doing it for clicks. I never even planned to talk about Danneel this much; it kinda fell into my lap. And I'm not the only who who noticed all the abuse signs--and those are from people that, as far as I can tell, aren't abuse victims.

Sooo.... STFU.

Also, you being a Cockles shipper insults Jensen's and Danneel's marriage far more than my abuse allegations ever would. I sincerely doubt it's a poly relationship too--Jensen was agreeing that Danneel calls Misha her boyfriend, not saying he also considers Misha his boyfriend.

(I'm not anti-poly either.)

All you have are some cutesy looks and supposed interpretations of Jensen's and Misha's relationship as opposed to actual proof.

I have proof. I have tons of it. From Jensen's own mouth. From Danneel's own mouth and fingers.

Whatever. You do you, but don't make threats and claim I'm projecting or making up lies. I speak truth.

[arillusionist]

s&b season2ep4 reaction!! book update: i finished seige and storm. it was lwk boring and im literally so mad bc alina deserves SO much better than mal hes such a hoe. anyways

help whats going on i kinda forgot what happened in the last episode

time to go read my own reaction

HELL NAH ITS BEEN A WHOLE WEEK SINCE I WATCHED THIS SHOW?? anyways i kinda remember the last ep now but my reaction is mostly crows stuff so it wasnt That helpful

ANYWAYS

even though mal is muchhhhhh better in the show i like the direction theyre taking with alina actually marrying nikolai

then again i havent read the kos duology (yet) so i dont know anything abt his real romance story so thats probably why i dont mind

stop mal telling alina shes his nation is so cute unlike in the books

and the way they actually do have some chemistry?? im sorry for ever hating you show malina 😔😔

is that the brother i cant tell

why does baghra lwk piss me off ...i cant tell if its because she wont stfu or because shes js boring

GENYA ☹️☹️

🥱🥱

FINALLY

"it'll give me some comfort to know you're with me" ohhhdhfmyygodddd and then her smile ahhhh

i cant tell if inej is mistaking kaz telling her to leave the city as him wanting her gone, when in reality hes js tryna protect her

or if shes just not promising it because she cant

theyre so complicated they make me sick (i love them 😭😭😭)

AWW THE I LIKE YOUR STUPID FACE LINE its different but whatever

WAITT JESPER BASICALLY CALLED HIM AND KAZ BROTHERS AND KAZ DIDNT EVEN DISAGREE?? HE LITERALLY AGREED

no cuz i actually thought kaz was gnna punch him or something but thats nice

no mourners no funerals 🙏🙏

NINA DECKING KAZ HELL YEAH I NEEDED TO SEE THAT

Dont take this as me disliking kaz btw hes my 2nd favorite character i js need to see him being put in his place

i have the most out of pocket thing to say but im not gnna say it

there are two heartrenders right there why dont they just check his pulse to see if hes lying

oh now they do it

i feel like maybe this is how they incorporate the crows into alina's plot - they'll ask them to find the sword since theyre criminals and know more than just the "wider black market"

IM LITERALLY A GENIUS HELLO????

NOT ME PREDICTING IT LIKE 2 SECONDS BEFORE HE SAYS IT

they cant just show kaz and nina for two seconds and then cut to another scene hello

OH NVM its an inej scene 🙏🙏

its so dark i can barely tell whats happening

oh they did the pox thing too they really taking half of crooked kingdom's plot huh

yeah now they decide to explain the plan

kaz is actually being so much like book kaz in this scene

"the trick is not to love anything" YEAH YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT... and with nina in the background too?? i wish inej was here tho like in the books

i think shes busy saving those randos

"something you'd sacrifice everything for and it makes you weak" stop projecting

SIX FEET DEEP

see inej really needs to be here now nina and jesper kinda know his backstory but she doesnt

then again its more meaningful if he tells her on his own time

HIS SMIRK

"im begging you" "are you?" hes not begging but i can

sorry

HIM ASKING FOR THE QUITCLAIM DEED FOR INEJ 🥺🥺 him liquifying everything he owns in the books is still better tho

THE LOOK IS HIS EYES - this is not freddy carter acting as kaz this is LITERALLY kaz

lmfaoo the offended look on toyla's face

WHYD THAT ACTUALLY SCARE ME (the guy sneaking up behind mal)

ok so i have a class so i'll watch the rest later

im backkk

seeing that vasily guys face after a few hours is such a jumpscare like why is he so ugly

bruh i jus realized theyre not gonna do the thing where inej cuts a line above pekkas heart 😐another kanej moment wasted

hjdkfk wylan hiding under the table when jesper asks him out

this conversation is so awkward i keep pausing it 😭

its cute tho

omg just kiss already the tension is getting to me

finally!!! 🙏🙏

WAIT FUCK I JS REALIZED THATS ANOTHER MOMENT WASTED CUZ THEY CANT DO THE JESPER KISSING THE WRONG GUY THING IF THE SPINOFF HAPPENS

im not really liking how they did wesper anyways.... with the whole one night stand thing... 😐

ok. yeah. wow. go from super cute fluffy wesper to kanej angst. yeah. remind me of what i dont have.

kaz saying that theres a weak link in the crew and inej thinks it means her but hes actually talking ab HIMSELF because shes his weakness and shes the person he would sacrifice everything for and AUGHHH

the difference between the show and the books when kaz gives her the paper is crazy

wish they had kept the book's scene fr

waittt is nikolai adopted??

oh he is

tamar and nadia definitely have something going on its already canon that nadia is into girls so!!

did the vasily guy die i hope he did 🙏🙏

why didn't baghra just. do that before. yk BEFORE she got her damn finger cut off

"your obsession with the fold is naive" is bro talking about alina or himself

and thats it watch me wait another week again before watching the next episode 💀

[weswam-archive]

.

[ziauhh]

Void success story part : 2 ♡

Hello motherfuckers 😏

So i shared my void journey in my previous post and you guys loved it so here i am with a part 2 bitches, but this one is gonna be more of my life after Void, also it can be a lil cheesy or intense for some people but i don't give a fuck i am just warning you, so let's go my whores 😭

Okay so it's the day two of me with my desires so i woke up the next morning and was as excited as the day before, again how can i forget to check up my phone so i did and again how can i not get notifications and my BF's sweet good morning message ( i mean best friend, honey it's only the second day don't you get that far ) and i was again drooling over him like he is so hot and handsome 🥵 ( we know it bitch now stfu ) and i also got a notify that i got 50k in my bank like what the actual fuck ! then i realised that i have a motherfucking math exam today but i wasn't scared of it ( like before i used to suck at math ) I hurried up got ready for school, then i told my mom to drop me there but she was like " You are such a lazy ass just go by yourself honey " and i was so confused why is she saying that but then she said go by your car okay do your exam well, then realisation hit me that i have my OWN CAR I KNOW HOW TO DRIVE IT I FUCKING KNOW HOW TO DRIVE ( before i didn't even knew how to start 😭 ) i went to the garage and I WAS TOO STUNNED TO SPEAK it was a BLACK RANGE ROVER i went inside it took a brief view but i don't know why i wasn't feeling nervous or scared i started the car drove it all the way to my School but this time i wasn't the one who was too stunned but my friends they were like " OMG ZEE IS IT YOU, WE THOUGHT IT'S SOME MODEL OR CELEBRITY COMING DANG IT 😱 " Lol they all were staring at me like they never saw me before or am i really a celebrity 👀 hmm whatever i went to my class gave my exam it was easy af like i thought someone already gave me a copy of the question paper and i know all the fucking answers 😭 but when i would take breaks from writting all i found was lots of STARES at me, people weren't giving a shit about their exam they all were busy staring at me ( not trying to do showoff 💅💩 )

OKAY then time skips up to evening i was watching Bridgerton, then my mom ordered me to go buy some groceries OK MA'AM AS YOU SAY 🙂

At the grocery store : I was busy looking for stuffs and then this girl comes to me and starts talking she was so cute and extremely nice but then what she said made me loose my words - " well zee are you umm ...... Straight just because i found you so attractive and forget to tell i am a bi* so ........ ) my face was just like this emoji 😳 wtf what am i suppose to say but then i told her yes i am straight as a board and ran away 😭 she giggled and said bye like tell me wtf was that. yes i manifested being attractive but forgot i manifested being everyones crush EVERYONES FUCKING CRUSH but it was a cute interaction ( omg this bitch, i can't with her )

At night: i went out with my friends for a dinner to a really nice restaurant and found these really fine boys who are from my school they are those hot basketballers every gurl be a slut for, so they noticed me and started waving at me i did the same, then when we were outside the restaurant they came to have a conversation and one of them says " you are looking so hot today zee " i was blushing like a tomato LMFAO then i heard another voice which said " SHE ALWAYS LOOKS HOT, IT'S JUST YOU NEVER NOTICE IT ,BUT I DO " and guess what he was my fucking BF ( boy bestie huh you right 😭 ) this was the first time i say him face to face and i almost fainted bitch he looks much better in person ( will u please shut up 😑 ) i lost my mind their and even my heart ❤️ ( this crazy ass whore )

Yeah that's all happened that day and a lot more every single day, do tell me if you want more of ummm this yk what 🙂

Other things i manifested from void:

Attention 24/7

Confidence 25/8

Ear piercing

Gold earing

Trip to maldives & hawaii this summer

Desire friend group

Driving skills and license

Other skills like - swimming, sports and cooking

Being able to speak different languages

Few beautiful prom dresses

Motivation:

If you say void is easy, then why people struggle getting in ?

- Because honey you made it hard, tell me is it hard for you to breathe or to drink or to walk noooo right because you know it's a part of you, you control it then why you don't think like this about void when yk it's within you, it's a part of you your mind.

How should i clear my mind, when will i know my mind is clear ? Is there any other method to clear mind ?

- you just do a meditation or breathe work and yeah your mind is clear is that even a point to stress on, void is a deep meditative state and to enter it you need to be calm and clear. And what you think if you can't even breathe can you do anything else huh ?

How will i know i am in void ?

- you will know it just trust your mind, when you go to your room yk that you are in your room not in a toilet, when you go to your friends house yk that you are there not on mount everest then why you wouldn't know when you will enter void.

If people went into void and then know they can manifest for others then why don't they manifest for the people who are unable to go into the void ?

- yes ofcourse we can manifest for others but i don't want to make you handicap, Do you take my help to breathe, to drink, to eat or do write those long ass asks...... NOOOO you don't then why you need my help to enter void didn't i told you it's as easy as doing these things then why you need my help. Afterall you are GOD ! GOD never takes help babe !!!

I have been trying to go into void since ages but i can't 😭

- yes you can't because you keep making excuses, you always try to enter void but never do, you think today for sure i will enter the void and wake up in my new reality but when the night comes you think i am too sleepy let me sleep tonight i will enter void later maybe tomorrow or after that, you over complicate things like hell you be asking me how should i clear my mind, shall i sleep on my back or front, what should i affirm, when should i enter, shall i keep my eyes close or open, can i manifest this, can i manifest that 🙄 bitch now really stfu if you guys be asking me all this in my asks they do also ask me ...... can i eat, what should i eat, how can i drink water, can i go to washroom, how to use a toilet paper, how to write my name blah blah blah... Because doing all these daily routine things is as same as void, it's just we realised it now that what void is, rather this void would have been a simple habit like any other.

Plot twist : It still is as easy as anything PERIODT !

Also if you keep making excuses like i have adhd, my house is not quiet, my parents don't allow me to use my phone how should i listen to the meditation, i try to clear my mind but thoughts still come, i try to make my body still but it moves anyways, i got scared, i need a final push etc etc THEN I AM TELLING YOU, Y'ALL WILL DIE LIKE THIS I SWEAR YOU WILL.... NOBODY CAN HELP YOU. YOU HADICAP PIECE OF SHIT YES... YOU, YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT DOES THAT HURT YOUR EGO THAT I AIN'T CALLING YOU A GOD BUT A PIECE OF SHIT YES BITCH BECAUSE U DESERVE IT. IF YOU WANT TO BE CALLED A MF GOD THEN DO WHAT GOD DOES STOP MAKING EXCUSES, STOP WASTING TIMES. IF YOU WOULD HAVE INVESTED ALL THIS TIME YOU WASTED WORRYING EXCUSING PROCRASTINATING I BET YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN LIVING YOUR LIFE AND INSTEAD OF YOUR ASKS I WOULD HAVE YOUR SUCCESS STORIES.

" If you still have any self respect left go do what i said and show me your face when you claim yourself as a GOD"

The End ✨

Love, zee

XoXo ♡

[jiminrings]

I REQUEST A SOFT BADBOY DRABBLE WITH SHY READER AND HES TEASING HER BUT SOMEONE ELSE JOIMS IN AND THEYRE DOING IT TO BE MEAN BUT HES LIKE STFU BEFORE I PUMCH UR FACE ONLY IM ALLOWED TO BULLY SHY READER GRR 😡😡😡😡 and soft readers like 0.o but *squeals incoherently* 😭😭😭😭

last name, jeon.

drabble week: day two

drabble week masterlist

pairing: badboy!jungkook x shy!reader

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: "can't you tell that i really don't want you to be here?"

notes: a tiny change on the plot!! also: frat boy!jimin from day four makes an appearance :D

feedback + support mean the world to me!!

“do you wanna form-“

... yes

you DO have an alliance with jungkook

it's a very fair trade honestly

he pretends to be your boyfriend!! there's no specific boundaries to it, but he springs into action as soon as you're put into an inconvenience

in exchange, you whore him out to your friends!!! :D

no but literally that's how he called it

the whole reason this came to be in the first place is because you hATE confrontation with a burning passion

especially when it comes to those "i have a crush on you" moments that people spring on you all of a sudden

you don't like them back!!! that's the truth!!! but the problem is that you aLWAYS feel guilty letting people down

you obviously don't have the obligation to like someone back just because you sit next to them in class :// IT'S JUST IN YOUR NATURE TO FEEL THAT WAY

you wouldn't get into a relationship with said confessor to ease your guilt, clearly

do you plan on denying their advances? yes

but hOW????

you always take the passive-aggressive approach

you get jungkook to carry your bag and hold your hand, walk in front of said person and pretend not to see them, jungkook makes sURE to put some snide eye contact in there aaaaand the whole ordeal is finished :D

you've managed to let someone down slowly without having to speak to them in-person!!!

jungkook comes more handy than that too

you take him when you want to eat out because you're too anxious to eat alone

you take him when you want to go somewhere in which lining up is essential and you're also too anxious to stand by yourself

you take him when you want to go shopping when there's a sale but you're almost always intimidated by the barrage of people and salespeople so he asks and answers the questions for you

jungkook, in hindsight, is the perfect fake boyfriend for you <3

ALSO jungkook wants something from you

"whore me out to the girls from the families your family's friends with, and it's a deal :D"

that alliance and exchange is going pretty well so far

you mAY be on the more-reserved side but that doesn't mean you're self-aware!!!

you know that your parents are loaded and your shy nature could be somehow chalked to that since you didn't really have anyone that wasn't as non-superficial as you'd like, since they were the overprotective helicopter two-rotor seven-blade parents :(((

jungkook, however, is the only constant you have in your formula

you've known him since childhood and have been friends ever since

his mom's your mom's personal assistant, and one day when mrs. jeon couldn't find a babysitter for jungkook, your mom didn't hesitate to let four-year old jungkook come with her to work

jungkook's your fIRST actual friend that hates gold spoons with you because of how tacky they look :-) he's your emotional support person basically

your emotional support person who was sO close to running late from picking you up during his free day >:( you were about to break into a sprint if he arrived a second later, because you managed to spot a jock coming to you from the corner of your eye awhile ago

You Do Not Like Him <3

"and i even changed into a short-sleeved shirt to ward off your suitors. how romantic of me, don't you think?"

now that he mentions it, it's only now when you can drink him in in full-display

... wow

his right arm's the only one with his tattoos while his left's completely blank, but something about the balance just makes you !!!!!!!! even more

his arm's not completely covered but it was coming to be, something about the blank spaces of skin that are yet to be inked being a nice touch

"very romantic, kook."

now tHAT'S the answer he wanted to hear

he forcibly on your helmet for you to showcase, your grunts of annoyance being drowned out by whistling

(he's even looking left and right and making eye contact with anyone who has their eyes landing on you!!!!)

your cheeks smushed is a look he'll never be tired being in awe of, but he'll never tell you that, of course

"do you ever wonder if your parents would kill me if i misplace even a single hair on you?" jungkook thinks out loud and you don't even flinch with how sudden his thoughts could be, sitting on his seat first so it'd already be balanced when you do, "you sure you’re okay riding with me?? on a motorcycle????"

he usually uses yOUR family's vehicles (they let him and insisted he just takes one at this point) but when you called him, he was en route to kim kradle (it's a one-stop vehicle shop apparently) to get new rims for his motorcycle, bUT NOT ANYMORE HE GUESSES????

you come first compared to the booking he's waited on for three weeks

"i have insurance, i think."

no that's the wrong answer

why did you even bother.,,.,

jungkook flicks your nose because your forehead's protected by the helmet, his face contorted in half faux frustration

"you were supposed to be mad at me for asking that — not logical!! don't even joke about that."

"... my life insurance? like, in the instance that i-"

oW THAT HURT

he flicked even harder this time!!!

you roll your eyes at him and it doesn't go unnoticed, a hand outstretching instead of his fingers flexing

“wallet, please.”

????

jungkook's surprised that you even look confused, this time rolling his eyes at you

“you rolled your eyes at me. you need to bribe me so i won’t rat you out.”

right

he has a never-ending knack for the you're rich jokes

you also know that he likes the cold and would turn the fan on even if it's too hot for a blanket, just because he wants to feel cocooned

you also know that he picks from the fourth row of drinks from the front because it's always been a habit

("the germs cling on to the first row!!!")

you also know that maybe, just maybe, you can't stand it tonight when he's putting himself out there instead of being your faux boyfriend

you keep on zoning out and hoseok, perhaps the only tolerable fellow rich kid you can tolerate within your circle, finally connects the dots in his head and snickers

he's been talking about finding the vintage sneakers he's always wanted on depop and how he almost got scammed for like tWENTY minutes already

in reality, all your nods and scowls aren't towards his story

it's to jungkook and... who's that? jihye whose dad is so colossally shitty, that this one rapper wrote a diss song for him? oh yeah, that jihye

"you like him. like actually 'lose your virginity to him' love him."

WHAT???

there's no way

"how did you-"

"you blush like one."

alright that answer was too quick

hoseok should've ATLEAST tried to wait for a few seconds before answering

"a-and the love part?"

"babe, jungkook may not be the richest one here and that should say a lot," you peer up at him nervously and he actually chuckles, peering to everyone at this function, "dude's humble — he could also just be dense to not see you love him."

okay very true

hobi's making a dig rn at how jungkook coinicidentaally happens to be blonde and maybe this is your cue to leave

hobi does not realize that his hair is aLSO dyed blonde while talking shit about jungkook and his hari

okay this is it

once again, you are NOT listening to hoseok and he's figured out what you're doing by now

you're psyching yourself up with a couple of shots and your heels are digging on the carpeted ballroom

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE OUTGOING!!

"pretend to wobble. it doesn't help that nothing can sink you."

oh okay makes sense

if you're gonna try and charm jungkook while trying to play it off as just being tipsy playfulness, atleast make it believable

hoseok snickers because this is just A+ content with the things that you choose to do in your way

shy girl with high alcohol tolerance mannn coming of age film writers would LOVE you ://

you're about to cross the distance between you and jungkook, but something knocks you on your shoulder with a gentle force that seemed intentional

is that-

hold on a second

"what a coincidence :O"

jimin?

jimin???

as in, wholesome yet slightly fuckboy-ish frat guy jimin???

he looks dashing and composed, meeting your eyes perfectly and he doesn't let your confusion startle him

"i know that look. what am i doing here?"

he says it eloquently as if he's practiced it

AND HE DID!!!

you must've looked so shocked that you immediately apologized, shaking your head no

"i-i didn’t mean-..."

you're confused, sure, but that doesn't mean you're immediately judging

it's just that you never saw jimin here or any function of the like, but you wouldn't put it past him if he does go to these things!!! he looks like a million dollars anyways

"relax, doll. you’re so far the only other person i know that i've seen in these type of things."

he looks calm and collected, but maybe that's just because he spent the last five minutes waiting for you to stand so he could bump into you

this place is just sO suffocating and a familiar face is gonna be his relief from something so fancy that it became mundane

"have we been in the same event before this?"

"not that i recall, no. i get invited but this is only the first time after awhile that i went."

jimin drinks from his champagne flute, wiggling his eyebrows playfully, "wanna know why i'm here?"

you're curious!!! what can you say!!!!

you never really interacted with jimin at all before this, but a familiar face like his is comforting

because hoseok's already engaged in another conversation and jungkook's,,,, being jungkook and is fawning all over jihye

jimin chuckles at your insistent nodding, leaning closer to whisper to your ear

"my stepdad’s loaded as fuck."

oh so that's why

he tugs you down to sit at the nearest possible empty chairs, all its occupants gone anyways because they're in the dancefloor busting tRULY horrendous moves

maybe it's because jimin feels lonely too like you are, and it's him feeling comfortable because he's pulled you like ten seconds ago and not once asked him anything out of bounds

maybe that's why he fell into conversation with you easily because you're always intently listening

"might love me as a real son too. maybe that’s a bonus? you don’t really expect that shit in the things you see."

this situation is actually pretty cute

you snort because maybe you’re nOT that shy when you drink,, that’s the only thing that changes in you probably

this whole conversation that sprung from boredom was unknowingly the subject of many stares, including jungkook who you were initially supposed to go to

“you’re worthy of love, jimin.”

:O

jimin sPITS his drink because where the fuck did THAT come from???

why did you say that and why does he feel that he needed to hear that

“i-i think — i think you need more,” he raises his own glass to your lips hurriedly, caught in surprise but you still gulp nonetheless

“you’re-“ you keep sputtering as he keeps making you drink, but he rubs circles on your back at the same time and it's when you realize that jimin the frat guy may not be that bad, “what??? don’t think you’re not the only one with daddy issues! shouldn’t we have like, a radar for each other?”

jimin snorts at your counter and his eyes crinkle to the point where he can't see anything, not being able to see how you're still trying to recover with all that fizz down your throat

wow ur really enjoyable to talk to

“you’re insane and i think-“

listen

you're not really big on feeling beyond a sense and all that stuff, but you feel as if the aura around you just got dark all of a sudden

"who are you calling insane?"

jungkook appears at your side in an instant, hands wrapped around your shoulders while you remain seated

you've honestly forgotten that you were supposed to go to jungkook, but you're reminded of that vERY clearly now

"go away, jimin," he mutters through his teeth, looking at him dead in the eye

hold on

wait

THAT'S JIMIN???

okay now he's confused

sometimes jungkook's mouth just moves on its own without loading the thought process

"why are YOU here?"

jimin furrows his brows, shocked that he'd even see jungkook here out of all people

the guy barely even attends classes!!! and that's coming from him!!

"why’s he here?"

he crouches to your ear, eyes still furrowed at the younger guy

"long story."

nO???

jungkook scowls bitterly because jesus fuck

YOU’RE ON WHISPERING TERMS NOW????

he left for one second, and the moment he comes back, that's when this fucking frat guy approaches you?? was he waiting on him to leave??

you and jungkook only act as a couple when the need arises, and even if you don't feel it, hE feels that this is the need!!! this is the need and it is arising!!!

"get back to uh, alpha bravo charlie or something, park. beat it."

why’s he reciting the nato phonetic alphabet???

jungkook sounds half-angry and half-sad at the same time, and you don't know which side should you focus on

“move,” he repeats this time again but more sternly, making jimin much more confused since jungkook's trying to pull him away from his seat

jimin doesn't budge and it makes the frown even more evident in jungkook's face

what is he FEELING

“can’t you tell that i really don’t want you to be here?”

“i’m not here for you, though. i’m here for y/n.”

he answers honestly, shis gut telling him that there's definitely something going on between the two of you

“y/n doesn’t want you here," kook argues back surely, only noticing your bitten lips now that makes him realize that you're not exactly sober; just a happy kind of rush

he sees you raise your hand timidly, an equally cheeky smile on your face that's only directed to jungkook like it's meant for him

"i-i actually don’t mind."

you don't,,,

you don't mind?

HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

why aren't you signaling him to commence the faux boyfriend act!!

"y/n has a boyfriend."

“... i’m not hitting on her.”

alright this is more than the entertainment that jimin wished for lol

“yeah, well she has a boyfriend still so beat it.”

you do??

the last time you checked, jihye's gonna have jungkook as her boyfriend within the night!!

“i don-“

ALRIGHT THEN

jimin decides to indulge jungkook, knocking his knee with yours as he winks slyly, urging you silently to watch on, turning to look at you and ask

“what’s your boyfriend’s name?”

you don't answer.

that gives him all the more reason to do so.

“last name, jeon.”

jungkook looks the most determined you've ever seen him, eyes characteristically angry with his arms across his chest that his suit tightens, “first name, me.”

....

......

the three of you know that’s not the truth

jimin takes it in, sighing when he sense that something else is about to be unfold and he does noT want to be a part of it

not before whispering to your ear again for the last time, of course

“pretty weird name if you ask me,” you laugh automatically, momentarily forgetting that jungkook's standing by you on just your opposite side and could hear you

he leaves and that only leaves you with jungkook, looking up at him as he's too frantic to even sit

“what are you doing?”

“being a social butterfly," you quip just as fast, drinking your water afterwards

jungkook only clenches his jaw by then, being taken-aback when you speak again

“who are you doing?”

://

“i’m busy being mad at- wait a minute, WHO???”

who instead of what??

the short-lived enthusiasm you had with jimin left with him, crashing just as hard when you're reminded of jungkook's presence

“jihye’s a pretty nice girl. you should go home early tonight.”

his brows furrow, trying to get you to look at him but you avoid his gaze insistently, “what? what are you talking about?”

“she’s not my girlfriend though.”

you're not at all satisfied with the answer because it sounds so wrong, knowing that jungkook's a handsome guy and everyone wants to be with him!!!

and he probably wants to be with everyone else besides you.

“then who-...”

“don’t know yourself anymore? jimin must’ve really swept you off your feet, huh?”

jungkook huffs as he qualifies for a rebutt, your internal wallowing being cut short

“he’s not my boyfriend.”

...

....

“well would you look at that,” jungkook snickers, sighing through his nose as your eyes finally meet his, directly stubborn yet soft around the edges

“she’s not my girlfriend, and he’s not your boyfriend. what a coincidence.”

god did he feel so threatened the moment his eyes couldn't find you besides hobi and instead next to jimin, eyes crinkled in laughter without hesitation

have you been chasing after one another this whole time?

jungkook silently grabs you by the hand and you wave no opposition to it

maybe it's your liquor-influenced vision or maybe it's you hyperfixating on such a warm moment, but your eyes immediately lock to see the matching red thread bracelet he wore like yours

you're dressed in next year's spring collection line, and the structured silk black gown that has a train behind it doesn't exactly scream to have a simple red thread bracelet as its accessory according to your mom's designer and everyone else —

but you don't have the heart to take it off

there's no need to take it off

jungkook drives your car and no one says a single thing about anything

his hand’s on your thigh and you don’t question it, eyes locking into the way his hand looks perfect and the way the bracelet looks meant to be wrapped in his wrist in the first place

you're sure this time that it's not the newfound courage you have, but rather the need to do it

you kiss jungkook's cheek on a red light.

it's on a red light that jungkook realizes he could fit the visage of his world within one hand, finally kissing you like he's always wanted to

“yeah. what a coincidence.”

[softluci]

aggressive affection (round two!)

[ part two of this, with the now dateables. guess which one(s) i have a crush on—i am actually so embarrassed because i'm getting shy trying to write this, but it's a must that i put this into the universe. if you want to read this first, rather than the one with the brothers, here is the preface: ] 

i’m not sure if this is something unique to younger people, but i am one hundred percent sure that younger people do it a lot, just going off of the behavior of my friends and i. (i’m gonna tell you now that this isn’t entirely sfw, so minors dni please and thank u)

but i’ve found that it’s pretty common for friends to be, like, aggressively affectionate with one another, for lack of a better phrase. if not aggressively affectionate, then just really flirtatious, often for no reason, and it is still meant entirely in a platonic sense. some examples of this that i have experienced include, but are not limited to:

“i’m gonna eat you,” “do u wanna make out,” “just remember, no matter WHAT happens, i will ALWAYS wanna make out with you,”  “i have literally wanted to fuck all of you at some point,” “let’s have sex,” “stfu before i kiss you,” [points to lap] “is this seat taken?” “every day i’m like, ‘wow, [name] is so cool, we should make out,’” and so on and so forth. 

so you can imagine the fun i’m about to have.

dia

you—why did you—look. 

dia is a very nice, social guy; very smiley, you guys get along great, that's great! 

he is still very much a demon (the prince of them, in fact)  and very much not one of your friends from the human world, no matter how much he wants you to treat him as such. 

you should've known better. 

he'd invited you to the castle for tea and a nice chat—a regular occurrence between the two of you so that he could see how you were doing, how the program was going, talk about lucifer, play catch up; nothing out of the ordinary. 

he complimented you on your performance thus far, telling you about how well you've done—which was just standard kindness—so would you like to explain to the class why your immediate response was, “so kiss me then,” ? 

he was totally fine with it, but he was also very confused, so it was only fair that he pulled you into his lap to get a better understanding of what you meant. if you do the math, it adds up, i swear. 

luckily, you don’t even have to explain yourself with this one because it seems like he already knows. this is good because, given his proximity to you at that moment, you wouldn’t have done a good job explaining yourself anyway. 

“is this how you talk to your human friends?” 

it was a simple question, with a simple answer, it’s just that you were nose-to-nose, and his eyes were hooded all of a sudden and his hand was cupping the side of your face so, naturally, you had some difficulty forming words—fortunately, you managed to nod instead of embarrassing yourself by trying to talk. 

“and do they ever do what you ask?” 

again, it would’ve been foolish of you to try and speak, so you just shook your head. you were doing a surprisingly nice job of maintaining your dignity, well done! this is nice compensation for the fact that you seemed to forget you were dealing with the demon of demons, but he was kind enough to remind you—

“well, i’m not one of them, so i’ll do as you say. you don’t mind, right?” 

do you have a saving grace with this man? meh. he doesn’t want to do anything in front of the others, but he can literally go somewhere private with you under the guise of wanting to talk. it’s not like anyone is gonna tell him he can’t. 

barbatos

you don’t make any sense. you watched black butler know that he’s the scariest person in the devildom, why did you think you could do this? he might be a menace not too far underneath that professional exterior, but that doesn’t mean you have to fuck around and find out. or maybe that’s exactly what that means. 

all he did was bring you tea. he saw you sitting in the castle’s library doing schoolwork—dia offered to let you study there to enjoy some quiet that you wouldn’t have gotten at the house, and because you aren’t one to forgo such a kind gesture, you accepted. 

he set it down on the table in front of you, much to your surprise. 

“oh, thank you! you really didn’t have to,” you said, looking up at him from your seat. 

“nonsense,” he started, smiling softly, “you’ve been working hard.”

you, for whatever reason, took this as an opportunity to pretend barbatos was one of your human friends. 

“you shouldn’t say that unless—” 

that’s all he let you say. what you were going to say was, “you shouldn’t say that unless you plan on making out with me.” trouble was, he already knew that. you must have forgotten who you were talking to. 

before you could finish, his hand was under your chin, and his other hand was resting on the arm of your chair, effectively caging you in, and effectively keeping you from looking away. 

his smile went from benevolent to teasing meaning you got the menace you wanted, as he asked,“unless what?” 

he took more joy in your flustered state than he would care to admit, but he’d recently learned that you had an affinity for trying to catch people off guard, so he thought it was more than fair to do the same to you—as a treat, for him. 

that said, it’s no surprise that you had to endure relentless teasing, him asking you what you wanted from him, why you were so shy all of a sudden, telling you not to be shy and that he wouldn’t bite, unless you asked nicely. what? he liked how warm your face made his hand. 

“what’s wrong? don’t you want to kiss me?” 

okay. that was the last straw. you never even hinted that you didn’t wanna kiss this man, and here he was, making assumptions about you as a person. 

you, in your infinite confidence and assertive nature, said, “i—i never said i didn’t want to.” 

and you know what, you really showed him because even though he laughed at you, even though he made a show of taking off his gloves, even though his hand moved from the arm of the chair to your thigh—even though he took every necessary step to remind you that he was in control, you still got what you wanted. and then some. 

your only saving grace with him is the fact that he breathes professionalism and he’s always busy. when he isn’t busy, however. well. 

simeon

you goddamn heathen. oh, you fucking freak. simeon has a reputation to uphold, you can’t treat him like one of your heathen little human friends, which means you can’t just say whatever pops into your head when you’re talking to him, which means—you should really learn to take compliments normally. 

simeon is a nice guy, and he likes you a lot, so it only makes sense that he compliments you whenever he can. in other words, he dishes out anywhere from one to four compliments whenever the two of you are together. he can’t help it, he just thinks you’re neat! 

the fact remains that you chose to be a menace to the angelic persona he is supposed to project at all times. 

it was a simple compliment. he enjoyed spending time with you, and he told you so, just telling you that your presence was a pleasant one. 

your response was actually normal—it was a simple, “i like being around you too!” 

in a way, this is simeon’s fault, if you think about it. he could’ve just said, “thank you,” and kept it pushing, but instead, he said, “really?”

why would he think you didn’t like being around him? that was unacceptable, so, really, what choice did you have but to give him the most solid affirmation he would ever hear? 

“of course! every day, i’m like, ‘wow, simeon is so cool, we should make out,’ you know?”

what you were expecting was for him to blush and laugh it off, call you silly, and maybe pat your head for good measure. that was a reasonable thing to expect, albeit that is not even close to what you got. 

since you were being so casual, simeon figured that he could—that he should—do the same. it was only natural that he stop being a model angel for a little while, right? 

oh, don’t look so flustered, it’s not like you’ve never been backed against a wall before. how many times has a demon done this to you? it’s only fair that an angel gets a turn. 

“actually,” he started, lips already brushing against yours as he spoke. “i don’t know. would you mind showing me?” 

if you are, understandably, too flustered to function, he will gladly make the first move, don’t worry, but if his first move happens to be taking your bottom lip between his teeth instead of kissing you, well… there’s not much you’re going to be able to do about it, so you may as well just enjoy. 

i mean, you tempt an angel, and you get what’s coming to you—that’s all there is to it. 

similar to barbatos, you will only be safe from this man when he’s in public or around a few of the others. if you’re alone with him and in private, he’s already under the impression that he doesn’t have to be an angel with you, so find joy in the side of him you’ve uncovered. 

solomon (derogatory)

you two deserve each other, really. both of you are public enemies. he was just as terrible as your friends from back home, except he was always walking the line like a tightrope. he was always on the verge of making his teasing into a reality, and to be quite frank, you were starting to get fed up—and you were right to be. but this is what you get for being a dirty solomon enjoyer. 

all of his empty threats and demands about kissing you, his lingering touches on your lower back or waist or thighs, his dumb little smirks on his dumb little face, his occasional bites wherever you were vulnerable, his habit of putting his hand around your throat for fun (or so he says)—those all came with the territory. he hasn’t had a friend to tease in ages (he can’t do it to asmo without it immediately turning into an hour long event), so you get it all at once, congratulations! 

don’t look so upset, he’s an attractive guy, so this is still a win. 

now, all of that said, you were hard pressed to find an opportunity to catch this man off guard, but once you got your chance, you latched onto it exactly as you should’ve. 

the two of you were in his room, studying (“studying”) for an upcoming exam. he was sitting in a chair, and you were on his bed a few feet away. you needed something from your bag, which was on the side of his chair farthest from you, so you decided to walk by him to get it, like a normal person. look at you, acting regular for once.

evidently, that was a mistake. as soon as you were in front of him, his hand was on your waist, and you were pulled into his lap. 

you turned to look at him, eyebrows raised and everything, and he seemed to have an explanation ready to go, paired with one of his signature smiles.

“i was wondering when i’d get to bother you again.” 

this was your chance—probably the only chance you’d get in a while, so it made sense that you took this opportunity to be heinous, even though you were in a rather compromising position. 

“either sleep with me or leave me alone.”

you did it. for a moment, you had him. the surprise plastered on his face was enough gratification to last you a lifetime, however fleeting it may have been. unfortunately for you, he had a wonderful recovery time. 

before you could fully enjoy the look on his face, it was gone, replaced by a more sinister expression that almost made you regret your decision. 

for what it’s worth, you didn’t have to see that menacing look of his for long because he turned you away from him to press your back into his chest. if that makes you feel any better. 

“i’ll never leave you alone,” he hummed, teeth already grazing your neck. his hand moved from your waist to your inner thigh, slowly separating one leg from the other. “but you already knew that.” 

you didn’t have a saving grace with this man before, and now you never will.

[k-eudia]

I have like zero ideas but I need to think about renga bc life is not a vibe rn

Anyway

I think it's a widely accepted headcanon that langa steals reki's hoodies. Imagine him in the purple hoodie with the purple converse.

Langa with reki's headband.

Reki knows how much langa loves food so he looks for nice places to eat at, like different types of restaurants (cuisine from all around the world) for their dates.

The idea of them going to canada and langa teaching reki snowboarding lives in my head rent free. Reki complains about how cold it is all the time so when they get back to the house langa wraps reki in a warm blanket and then laughs at how cute and ridiculous he looks and reki pouts. But the blanket smells like langa so he secretly loves having it around him. Alternatively, langa holds reki's hands between his palms to warm them up.

They often stay out at the skatepark until it's really late at night and it's just the two of them and after they get tired they just lie down to the ground and stargaze until one of them gets sleepy so the other says they should go home

Mechanic star reki decides to make them tiny matching skateboard keychains. Reki has langa's board on his backpack and langa has reki's

Miya tells reki about how langa was like 'have you seen reki' at s when he wasn't there for hours and days, ignoring everyone else just to make fun of him. In turn shadow says something like 'as if you didn't want to run to him and make sure he was okay because you missed him so much' and miya retorts with 'stfu you missed him too Mr 'things are off balance without him' and so miya and shadow start fighting while reki turns to an embarrassed langa to ask if he really was looking for him all night long and langa tells him he was, of course he was, everything around him felt meaningless without reki

Ppl like to think of langa as some cool prince but it quickly spreads in school that he's just as much of a dumbass as reki. They never pay attention during class because they're watching skating videos or they're secretly texting or passing notes and ofc always get caught so their classmates start to call them 'two halves of a whole idiot'. And then the whole school. Especially when they see them running from teachers for skating inside the school building

Reki goes over to langa's place and while langa is in the bathroom or something, his mom meets reki and she tells reki how she's really grateful for him bc for the first time since langa's dad died, langa found something he could enjoy just as much as snowboarding. He was smiling and going out a lot and sometimes he was rambling about skateboarding and about how amazing reki is for hours and she was so scared he'd close off completely but he didn't thanks to reki. Reki says that he's the once who's grateful for langa, for having a friend like him who shares reki's passion and happiness. Who understands him.

Once reki and langa are in langa's room, reki hugs him tightly and langa asks why, surprised and reki says it's just because he's glad they're friends. He also tells langa that his mom is the nicest woman he's ever met but doesn't explain why.

They try to have study dates at a café or smth but obviously it doesn't work at all because they always start talking about something else and forget about their homework.

Hey langa, you've seen that new video on yt that's recently blown up, it's about a person doing some insane trick. I've never seen anything like that before.

No reki but I'll check it out once we've fin-

Oh look it's already opened on my phone, let's watch it now

Okay, I suppose we can have a short break

And they watch it and look at eachother and without another word start packing up and going to the skatepark

Langa sends reki cheesy love songs in an attempt to flirt but it flies right over reki's head. He's always like 'haha that's a catchy song langa, you have a nice taste in music' and langa internally screams 'my taste in music is your face'. He's close to actually screaming it at reki

Langa has definitely done that thing where someone asks anything literally anything and langa without missing a beat goes 'reki. ... Wait what was the question?'

'hey langa what type of weather is your favourite?' 'reki. ... Wait what was the question?'

One time someone was dumb enough to try and flirt with langa. They left after like five minutes bc langa couldn't shut up about how amazing reki is. Langa has this power where he can transform any type of conversation into a convo about skateboarding and with that reki

Reki ruffles langa's hair but get this: langa wakes up with terrible bed hair and reki combs it out for him

Back to that purple hoodie stuff. Langa permanently stole it and one day his mom notices it while washing the clothes and asks langa about it and he says some dumb shit like 'it's my emotional support hoodie' 'okay dear but where did you get it?' 'from my emotional support bastard'

Imagine, just imagine it's corona time over there and it's pretty bad so they're in quarantine and that hoodie is the only thing keeping langa sane.

They're the type of dumbasses to fool around in a shopping cart at the parking lot of a grocery store. At first langa is hesitant to sit inside but then quickly gets a taste of that adrenaline and reki is behind him pushing the shopping cart smiling widely and langa thinks it's worth it for that smile alone

They fall and get tangled up and injured and langa says reki is a dumbass and reki says they're both dumbasses and they kiss.

They build sandcastles at the beach with miya. Miya at first says he won't bc it's childish but then sees that reki and langa don't care about what's childish and what's not so he joins but says it's only because 'i can make a better castle than y'all anyways, guess i have to prove it'

Reki helps langa practice his writing and tells him to write anything, first thing that comes to mind and langa writes smth like 'i really like you' and once again it flies right over reki's head. He's like 'hmm yeah so it could help if you tried to...' and langa's like ffs

Boardgame nights with reki's family. Bonus point: they invite nanako too

[khaleesiofalicante]

OK I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY OK IG (I did stay up to read the fic-) BOTH MY TESTS WENT LIKE SHIT, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN PROGRAMMING CLASS BECAUSE BY TEACHER IS A LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING AND I SPENT LUNCH ALONE BUT AT LEAST NOW IM ALONE WITH MY LAPTOP SO YAYAYAYYA

first of all, this chapter right here is my comfort chapter from now on. i said what i said. I will be rereading it again and again just because i can. it was PERFECTION

here's me going crazy at 2 am yesterday.

MAGNUS' CHAPTER

LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO

AHHHHHHH IT'S THEIR ANNIVERSARY

SCREAM

oh

alec shaved his beard because it made him look older

RAFAEL WAS SO UPSET AFTER THE MEXICO ATTACK BECAUSE OF ANJALI RIGHT??

magnus and alec are the oblivious parents istg

“Are you decent?” Max yelled. “I don’t want to be traumatized again.”

“Hey! We agreed not to talk about that!” Alec yelled back.

Im not even surprised at this point

“Happy anniversary, bapa!” Rafael kissed him on the cheek and handed him the flowers.

“Where are my flowers?” Alec asked.

Rafael plucked a rose from the bouquet and threw it at Alec. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, son,” Alec mumbled.

IM WHEEZING

DAVID BAKES

“David made it,” Max said shyly. "

Oh,” Alec replied and then shrugged. “Well, the icing could be a little sweeter I think.”

Ever since Max started dating, Alec had become incredibly protective. Alec liked David of course – it was impossible to find someone who didn’t. But that didn’t mean Alec approved.

And it didn’t help that the blond boy was absolutely terrified of Alec.

ALEC STOP TEASING HIM

THE BOY IS ALREADY SCARED

“I don’t know,” Alec analysed the card. “David used too much glitter.”

“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” Max demanded.

ALEC

“I didn’t use him!” Max huffed. “He was thoroughly compensated for his efforts!”

“Compensated how?” Alec asked.

“Uh,” Max said. “With donuts.”

when i saw donuts i immediately thought of rose and luisa from jtv

iykyk

but should i continue the show? i got tired of jane continuously embarrasing herself

“You expect us to follow rules?” Alec asked in surprise. “In our own home? On our anniversary?”

The warlock boy grinned wickedly before leaning close to Alec.

“You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret,” Max whispered.

Alec blinked at that.

the secret...

I DONT LIKE HOW MANY THINGS POPPED INTO MY HEAD

is highschool musical that bad? i havent watched it. should i?

what if i cried

i just wanna hug alec??? but i cant say it'll be ok because it wont

��Is that why you are not attending?” Magnus grinned at his friend. “Or is it because you are terrified of Georgia?”

“That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” Ragnor complained. “I heard she made explosives out of demon ichor! Who makes explosions out of demon ichor?”

RAGNOR IS PROBABLY GETTING FLASHBACKS

THESE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES

how tf do you think we have survived huh??

medicine that's how

vaccines, anti biotics and what not

stop being close-minded and fucking do it

ok i know the risk is great

BUT OTHERWISE THEY ALL DIE

it was different for warlocks. The Shadow World was their universe. The nephilim kept it safe. At one point in their lives, they had learned to coexist with them, out of necessity and out of obligation.

And now here they were – working together in the name of friendship and love.

how things change...

what

say what

the causes are what

ok let's not jump to conclusions

im fucking crying wtf

alec doesnt deserve this shit

all he's done is make the world a better place

hes worked so hard on this

RAZIEL CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF

what am i supposed to say to my parents if one of them comes to check on me and im sitting here crying at 2 am

He didn’t want to believe in a reality that would punish Alec. Alec who only wanted to do what is good and right.

Alec was who was losing his hope and strength every passing day. Alec who was struggling. Alec who was turning to desperate measures to cope with all the stress.

please alec

no please

THE ANGELS ARE BITCHES

Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself.

AND I'LL GO WITH HIM

KNEW THE SPY WAS LIVVY

AWW RAGNOR LIKES SELENA THATS SO SWEET

blue and gold

STOP IT IM CRYING AGAIN

The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.

HUH

HUHU

HUH

omg

GIGI GETTING A SIBLING

“Max isn’t allowed to do a lot of things,” Magnus chuckled. “But he does them anyway.”

thats my boi

GASP

]THE NECKLACE

rafael is growing into the consul voice

they grow up so fast

nope nope he's still the little 5 year old

voice cracking what do you mean he's 20

im glad hes happy with mila. or is he...?

Magnus had deduced as much. Alec lived in his beautifully oblivious world. But Magnus noticed.

He noticed the hickeys. He noticed the late-night visits. He noticed the tense phone calls.

well thank god there's at least one non-oblivious person (alec i love you so much but you are very very oblivious)

“What’s stopping you then?” Magnus asked.

"2554 miles,” Rafael chuckled sadly.

me with all my online friends

probably more miles

Magnus tried to do the math but promptly gave up.

me

But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away.

NOT NOW

LET ME LIVE IN PEACEFUL OBLIVION

HUSH

“Except melt it?” Rafael chuckled.

“Yes,” Magnus chuckled back. “As you can see, the bar is extremely low in the Lightwood family.”

AHHIUCCDSKUHDCV

i have no clue what the words describing the outfit are

time to google

OK PRETTY

Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.

dont do this to me right now I WILL CRY

“What the hell?” Max exclaimed. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s my anniversary,” Alec chuckled.

Max-

Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.

HJCSDHJBJDHSGCDYGJVVC JHVDFYMJ

it's not funny MY EYES ARE WATERING

“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.”

“What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?”

“You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.”

yes.

Alec grinned back and leaned forward. Magnus put his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. He kissed Alec with all the love he had inside his heart.

Just like the first time. Just like the hundredth time. Just like the thousandth time.

Because with Alec, every kiss mattered. Every single one.

muffled sob

“Stop making out, oh my god!” Max groaned.

Magnus sensed a pillow coming their way but Rafael caught it before it hit them.

“Max, stop!” Rafael scolded. “You will wrinkle dad’s suit and ruin bapak’s hair! I spent hours ironing both!”

why is max me when i see people display affection in front of me

ALSO RAFAEL HKUIUIDCSKIHUDFVHJDFVHU

“They are here,” Rafael said. “You two better look exactly the way you did when I left with Max or I will raise hell.”

IM SCREAMING

Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold.

i need that top

DAVID'S SHIRT IS THE COLOR OF MAX'S MAGIC

AHH ISABELLE DOESNT KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT YET

The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. Magnus, Clary and Simon had let them have it since the Lightwood siblings had a tendency to carry the world on their shoulders even when nobody asked them. They rarely ever let loose ever since their worlds had plunged into sickness and demon attacks. Especially Alec. So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes.

OH MY GOD THE CHAOS

Georgia considered that. “I’m not allowed to melt it, right?”

“No,” they all replied in chorus.

LET GIGI MELT IT

SELENA IM SO PROUD OF YOU

“Dad,” Max said. “Can you keep a picture of me wearing this necklace in your office?”

“Why?” Rafael asked.

“I think it will piss off the boomers,” Max giggled.

“Nice!” Lexi grinned. “A downworlder wearing a shadowhunter heirloom? They will lose their heads. Uncle Alec, you must do it.”

“I will do you one better. I will hang a tapestry,” Alec chuckled.

YASSS I CANT WAIT FOR THE SHADOWHUNTERS TO BE PISSED

AWW THEY DIDNT KNOW THE NECKLACE USED TO BELONG TO MAGNUS

he actually gave to camille first-

Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?

why would you NOT study and research during your travel year????

oh shit

well well well

david bby stfu

i love you but pls stop speaking for all our sakes

“Holy shit,” Max said. “It is expensive then!”

“Don’t pawn the ruby!” Rafael warned.

MAX NO-

OH THE STONE COMES FROM EDOM

oh no

pls dont fight

oh so i was wrong about magus confronting him from that snippet

all you need to know is im sobbing right now and grammarly is the only thing making this coherent

dont mind me just

NO I FORGOT ABOUT MAX AND DAVID

GET BACK IN THE ROOM YOU IDIOTS

don't do this to me at 3 am

OK THE DILF PART

thank you for adding light into my life again

(me while editing this: today really isn't my day huh? i just slipped in rainwater outside my balcony because I heard rain and ran there. now my knee and back hurt and I think I sprained (?) my toe-

ANYWAY

wait im gonna go check out the rain and then continue editing this

ok i got bored of the rain)

that made me laugh through my tears

“Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.”

“I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected.

“We are not being biased,” Clary pointed out. “It is the general consensus, Alec.”

“It’s true,” Lexi said. “So many people have asked me for your number, Uncle Alec. And I would have given it to them if I wasn’t worried about being turned into a marshmallow.”

LEXI DUHDUGHUDFCUHKVDFUIKFDU

“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a told DILF.”

David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back.

“What the hell is a DILF?” Alec demanded.

“Oh, I know this one!” Jace said excitedly. “It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father. Max is right, you are a total DILF.”

“Mr. Herondale-” David raised a hand.

“I heard one of the shadowhunters in their travel year calling me a DILF too,” Jace said proudly.

THAT IS NOT WHAT DILF MEANS OH MY GOD

“It’s not a rumour,” Selena spoke up and passed her phone. “There is a group chat at Scholomance just to thirst after you.”

add me to it

ALL THE COMMENTS I CANT BREATHE

“Alec Lightwood can run me over with a Maserati and I would thank him.”

“Give me that,” Izzy grabbed the phone and started giggling. “Petition for Consul Alec Lightwood-Bane to stab me with his mortal sword.”

“Isabelle!” Alec hissed, cheeks flaming. “Stop it!”

“I want one!” Jace grabbed the phone now. “By the Angel!”

“Read it!” the kids yelled in chorus.

“I would gladly let Consul Lightwood-Bane inspect my mortal instruments,” Jace chuckled and threw the phone at David.

David shook his head vehemently and threw it at Max.

“My body is just a hole for Alec Lightwood,” Max read out loud and started laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.

Lexi grabbed the phone and giggled. “I want the Consul to strip off my runes among other things.”

She passed the phone to Gigi, who looked at the phone and look at Alec.

“Uncle Alec,” the girl said. “This person wants you to crush them with your massive archer arms.”

“Give me that,” Rafael grabbed it now. “Aw, this one is a classic, dad. Alec Lightwood turned me gay.”

He threw the phone at Simon, who stared the screen and looked up. “Uh, I don’t think I can read this one out loud in front of the kids.

“Is this the one about the basement?” Selena chuckled and Simon nodded.

WHAT'S THE BASEMENT ONe

TELL ME

AWW GIGI AND LEXI PUTTING MAKEUP ON DAVID AND MAX RECORDING IT

google translator time

oooo Rafael's gonna talk with Mila

Magnus you're such a good father

seriously

“Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.”

YES

SAY IT LOUDER

THEY ARE UNDER THE BED

AHHH MAX AND DAVID

DAVID CALLED HIM MY ANGEL IN FRENCH

Alec and Magnus hiding under the bed and spying on them is just-

Jace had tried to give Max the shovel talk and had gotten a little too emotional.

of course, he did smh I love him so much

“David doesn’t need a shovel talk,” Alec smiled. “He knows what would happen to him if he hurts my son.”

David gulped. “You will throw me into the silent city?”

“I will ask me husband to portal you to hell,” Alec said – Consul Voice. “We have relatives there.”

the beloved relatives yes

“Goodnight,” Jace gave them a salute. “Have fun inspecting Magnus’ mortal instruments.”

JACE

OH SO THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT SMOKING

damn it

oh my god guys he said he'll stop smoking

just lemme have this moment

my boy's lungs will be intact

HIS LUNGS WILL BE OK

“I can’t wait to see all the messages on the chat after that,” Magnus giggled.

Alec looked up. “I’m more than a tall glass of water, Magnus!”

SCREAMING

In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.

what

wait

THE PROPHETIC DREAMS

nope nope nope

Nah I don't know what you're talking about

haha

damn, I think I really hurt my back...

OK BUT THE IMMORTALITY ANGST???? WAS SO SO GOOD???? I know it makes me cry but is it bad that I'm always so excited for angst written by you because of HOW GOOD it is????

"When I die I will love you from my grave" I NEED THIS ON MY FOREHEAD OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH

alright I need to get something for my back and my knee (I'm home alone so this will be fun)

OK, I THINK THE NEXT CHP WILL BE ANJALI'S POV I JUST FEEL IT!!! I miss my girl so much I hope she's doing ok. Jaime too...

I'm rereading all of these chapters after chapter 10 because why not. Bye!!

OKAY I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT I AM ALSO DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.

I hope your knee and back feels better soon!

also fuck that teacher yelling something doesn't make people understand it any better ugh dumb piece of shit anyway screw that person.

I hope you get some good rest and recovery from this rollercoaster of a day.

Take care!

[madsdefencesquad]

another kevison fanfic none of you asked for (also on ao3):

[Thread] Who's the nicest celeb you've met in real life?

-

Kevin Pearson. Was an extra for one of his movies and couldn’t be any nicer. Chatted with us even though technically you weren’t supposed to. He joked around a lot and showed us pics of his family. Real top bloke.

-

I met this guy once on vacation in Italy. We were at a table next to him and my newborn was screaming bloody murder, mom was in the bathroom. Couldn’t quite calm my son and I was getting real embarrassed with the loud noise. Some of the waiters came over to their table to ask if they wanted to move but Kevin shut them down immediately. Actually got a bit cross that they even suggested it. His wife suggested to rock my baby on the side to make him stop and he did! She knows a few tricks having twins and stuff. Also shared that joy/misery thing of being first time parents. Anyway, they left first (they got there earlier) and we learned after that they paid for our meals too. Couldn’t believe it.

replied: Wow. That’s the so fucking nice of them.

replied: Yeah made my wife cry haha

-

I’ve heard only good things about him too! My mom lives in Philly and his brother was running for city council a few years back and he was there and took photos with all the Korean mamas including my own and my grandma! apparently he smells really expensive :P

-

Didn’t know that I was fully chatting up his wife at Starbucks until I saw a pic of them at the premiere for one of his movies. I’d be embarrassed by my god she was fantastic! 10/10 would’ve gone for it if I wasnt such a potato

replied: And wasn’t married.

replied: That too

-

My daughter was an extra on one of his movies and says he’s the nicest guy and “such a dad” lol! And her dad’s a real “dad” dad so for her to say that about a famous actor is funny

-

I used to teach his kids in my kindergarten class. Daughter’s wicked smart. I can tell you all the mothers would have a fit every time he’d come by to pick them up and if it’s not his wife or them together, it’s him. Very hands on. I’d say that counts for nice.

-

Rocked out to a Lady Gaga show with him and his wife in Vegas. His wife and I are practically best friends now! We’re on first name basis ;)

replied: Sounds fun! What were they there for if you don’t mind me asking? Coz isn’t he like sober now?

replied to a reply: I think it was for a niece’s birthday or something? Couldn’t remember, was pretty wild night :P And I didn’t see any drinks.Even his wife wasn’t drinking I think? They were literally there to enjoy Gaga like the rest of us

-

I love hearing stories about him like this because it always looks like he’s such a pretentious pretty boy jerk especially back in the day

replied: Getting your life sorted can change a man

replied to a reply: Yeah he’s pretty mellowed out since getting sober. He’s had that DUI and rehab stint but now he’s a real family man and seems to love his wife very much. Good for him.

-

Doesn’t he remind you of George Clooney? Got married late and had boy girl twins and is loving life!

replied: True!!

-

Not sure if everybody knows but his wife Madison is pretty big in the interior design space especially coz she like pretty much runs their fam construction business. I follow her on Insta and I know everyone has a crush on Kevin but I’d pick her over him any day!

replied: OMG YES SAME! She puts together these amazing DIY palettes and I’m obsessed! I’d also pick her over him any day even just to pick her brain

replied to a reply: She also recommends the best books!!!

-

My mom’s in the planning side of construction and met his wife in West Chester. She did a presentation and afterwards her and my mom shared parenting tips like they’re in some mom club. Apparently she was the sweetest and her babies are adorable and also Kevin calls a lot lol

-

Met him at the airport, wife’s a huge fan of the manny so sucked my gut to ask for a pic. When he found out it’s for the missus, he recorded a special vid saying his iconic line. Missus was over the moon. Real good fella

replied: MANNY SAY WHAAATTTTT

replied: That’s so nice

replied: He did for my mom as well! All the moms love him!

-

Kevin Pearson helped re-build my grandparents’ burned down convenience store. Couldn’t thank him enough even if I tried

replied: Wow, that’s real generous. How are the grandparents?

replied to a reply: Thanks! They’re over the moon. They have a house near the area but gran said he’d come by with his kids from time to time. Even if gran didn’t want to, they always insisted to pay for whatever the kids wanted.

-

Delivered the cake for his uncle (grandpa’s?) wedding and he gave a seriously generous tip. Oh and his wife packed me pigs in the blanket.

replied: Pigs in the blanket?! What in the middle school

replied: Apparently it was the uncle/grandad’s favorite or something and they double ordered. But who cares free food!

replied to a reply: Did it come with ketchup?

replied to a reply: Hot, wrapped in foil and handful of ketchup packets. I felt like one of the kids

-

Not him but his brother who’s like a big shot in politics right now. Real top guy and had the best laugh

-

This doesn’t sound real but I’ve bumped into him literally five times over the past year he’ll probably think I’m some stalker. Rarely saw him without his family and once his kid threw a ball at me. He apologised but c’mon you either throw a ball or bounce it no big deal. Besides, that kid has David Beckham’s kids manners. Real like English folk polite it’s insane

replied: That’s always nice to hear that celebrity kids aren’t spoiled brats. We know a few good of them are

replied to a reply: Celebrity kids are different from kid celebrities though

replied to a reply: Didn’t say they were the same? Just saying that for a kid of someone so rich and famous you’d think they’d be a bit more spoiled but they weren’t at all and was beyond respectful and that’s a testament to the parents.

replied to a reply: Agree. I’ve met this particular celebrity’s kids and mind you they’re teens now but god they were just awful and pretentious. Even more than their famous parent which is saying something

-

Not him but I did meet that actress that was so embarrassingly flirty around him during the press conference of hat film he did a few years back. She’s a real bitch and so fake and I’m so glad she’s been dropped from the sequel

replied: Oh god yeah I remember her. She was so obnoxious laughing at everything he said like stfu it’s not that funny!!!! The secondhand embarrassment watching her and him being all polite about it *chills*

replied: She’s the worst. No talent

replied to a reply: I was an extra for some scenes in that movie and she was WAY worse and such a diva for someone unknown. Kevin’s a real nice guy though and just let her be. He talks about his wife and kids a lot but she would not take a hint!

replied to a reply: That is just embarrassing

-

Alright story time. Was working as a barista at a cafe and it was one of those really shitty days. He came in, ordered and waited and was all nice and took some pics with fans. Anyway, like I said shitty day so I mixed up his coffee order and got him two lattes instead of cappuccinos. Mind you, it was a busy asf day as well and I was the only one making coffees. He comes over and tells me and I apologise but by this time my manager’s already all up on my ass for serving Kevin Pearson incorrectly. He kept apologising to him and berating me till Kevin himself stepped in and told the manager off. But like calmly and stuff like it’s no big deal and people make mistakes whatever and I kid you fucking not he apologised to me too and said I was doing a good job. He probably won’t know how much that meant to me after an already shitty as day but it did. I made sure to make him the best fucking cappuccinos

replied: I’ve met him in irl too and he is this!

-

I saw him sitting at a cafe with his daughter. Super nice. Asked him if I could get an autograph for my mom who’s a huge fan. He asked me some questions about her and wrote a really nice autograph, for her. His daughter stuck one of her stickers on there too and my mom loved that even more. I told him where she works (at a grocers) and he went out of his way to shop there the next day and made a point to look for her and chat. Great, great dude

replied: That is so fucking cool man. And your mom must’ve been so happy!

replied to a reply: She was over the moon! She loves his wife too! Apparently she was even chattier than Kevin haha

-

Met him at the airport. I was an employee and he had some TSA questions. Genuinely nice and friendly, chatted for about 15min. After he was set, we shook hands, he had his kids say thank you individually with a high five. Adorable. His wife was super nice and friendly too. Very good social interaction, would participate again

[lumin3xe]

Hq Characters and how they play Genshin Impact!

Love letter 💌: omg hey! So I’ve been obsessed with genshin impact and aswell haikyu so my sexy small brain though ‘what if the hq character played genshin impact?’ And here we are!

Characters: Dachi Sawamura, Koshi Sugawara, Asahi Azumane, Chickara Ennoshita, Yu Nishinnoya and Ryūnosuke Tanaka

(Will this become a series? Maybe 👀)

slighty edited and fluff!

˚ ↠ Dachi Sawamura ↞ ˚

˚ He plays sometimes, mostly with the other third years, he does play with the team tho!

˚ He probably plays it in his free time and if he feels like it

˚ Does he have a strategy? He kinda just plays it, really good on maining on a certain character 🥴🥴 (dw I’ll share it later HAHHSH—)

˚ Is he good? Yeah I like to think so! since he doesn’t play often he doesn’t really practice or grind but If he tried he could be a really powerful player.

˚ He does try to do his daily commissions but he mostly forgets it 🧍(someone has to remind him hehe, he’ll be like “oh shoot yeah— give me a minute” but he won’t play it when he’s practicing volleyball or doing hw or smt)

˚ A lot of Mora and Primogems— he knows how to wish but he just doesn’t do it often LMAO—

˚ One time he got a five star character on his first wish and asked ‘are they good?’

˚ Never has spent money on the game no, he was tempted but he’s like nah.

˚ I feel like he would have Jean and main her well.

˚ his team would be, Jean, Kaeya, Xiangling, and probably Aether (male traveler)

˚ ↠ Koshi Sugawara ↞ ˚

˚ He plays in his free time and sometimes during volleyball practice, plays mostly with the other third years and ofc plays with the rest of the team 😌😌

˚ Hmm I feel like he would try to have a strategy? Maybe when against a boss battle or smt, he looks up how to play certain characters and where to get a certain items, y’know just regular player tbh

˚ He’s an average player—nothing much. sometimes screams when one of his characters dies HSHSHD

˚ Does his daily commissions if he has time too, doesn’t mind if he misses or forgets them (but will be like “oh whoops, I’ll do them later haha” or something of the lines of that lol)

˚ Has more mora than primogems, he knows how to wishes and does it once or twice but sometimes when he‘s bored he kinda wishes alot and wastes his primogems LMAO-

˚ Same as Dachi, never spent money on the game...is what he says HAHSGH

˚ Funny thing is that he got pity once and got Ganyu IAJHAJAJW

˚ Hmm I could see him main Sucrose! tbh he really wants Albedo omg HAHA-

˚ His team is Sucrose, Ganyu, Yanfi, and Xingqiu

˚ ↠Asahi Azumane ↞ ˚

˚ To me Asahi would really like the game and try’s to play as much as he can but he feels like he would get made fun of poor asahi omg🥺Again he mostly plays with the third years and with the team 🥰🥰

˚ Yeah he would have a strategy, and he would be a good player! ( he would have a good strategy too omg)

˚ He would probably be the most best player besides someone else 👀

˚ You guessed it- he actually does his daily commissions! He either does it when he wakes up for school or when classes are done hehe ☺️☺️

˚ Decent amount of Mora and Primogems! He saves them up for new characters but he’s really tempted to just use them in a day LMAO-

˚ I don’t think he would no🧍

˚ Since he’s such a sweetheart, I feel like he would main Noelle! Her background almost made him cry but SHHHH

˚ His team would be Noelle, Barbara, Diluc and Keqing

˚ Wtf he has so many characters??? Like huh?? And he knows how to use them?? Wtf 😭😭

˚ ↠Chikara Ennoshita ↞ ˚

˚Since I don’t know much about his character—I might be OOC so pls bear with me YVGFGDRD—

˚ He plays when he’s bored, maybe when he’s walking in the halls or during volleyball practice breaks. He mostly plays with the second years and aswell the whole team!

˚ No he doesn’t 🧍HAHAHSHS— hmm he looks up strategy’s, play certain characters and etc etc but he doesn’t really do anything

˚ For some reason yeah he actually does his commissions but like,, its creepy weird LMAO?? IDK HAHSH—

˚Same as Asahi, decent amount of mora and primogems lmao, doesn’t use it often tbh, wishes once or twice, somehow gets five stars often???

˚ Nah he probably wouldn’t, if he really wanted a character tho? Yeah he would.

˚ Hmm he probably mains Aether (male traveler) or a five star character rlly good, like maybe even insanely good?

˚ His team would be Aether, Chongyun, Tartaglia, and Diona

˚ Yes he got Tartaglia HAHSHHS—

˚ ↠ Yu Nishinoya ↞ ˚

˚ This dude plays all the time I BET AGAHAHA (Passing time during class, volleyball practice breaks, during the halls etc etc!! Like I swear HAHA—)

˚ He plays a lot with Tanaka! And like try’s to play with everyone else on a regular, he wants to get better at the game and likes to grind/practice a lot on the game!

˚ Is he good tho? Hmm that’s up to you really!

˚tbh his strategy is too smash the buttons— IM KIDDING IM KIDDING HAHHS— I feel like he knows what he’s doing? But like not really 🧍but he’s trying!!

˚ Tho it’s really cute when he wins a battle with a huge boss 🥺🥺(Tanaka hypes him UPP—)

˚ He does like two of his daily commissions and forgets about it— he thinks he’s done them but no LMAO—

˚ A lot of Mora but literally no Primogems— he has like 40 or 60 but his boy Tanaka helps him save them up!!

˚ As much as he wants to spend money on the game, he doesn’t, he wants to get his Primogems fair and square.

˚ He mains Lisa. HSHSHSH— tho in all seriousness he’s really good at maining electro characters!! Like for example he really likes Fichel! He thinks she’s cool 😎😎

˚ Part of him actually believes her story’s HAHA

˚ His team is Lisa, Razor, Fischl and Keqing

˚ Tanaka was nice enough to gift Keqing to noya 🥺🥺

˚ ↠ Ryūnosuke Tanaka ↞ ˚

˚ Like Noya he plays alot! But little less more than him lmao

˚ Knows a little bit of what he’s doing, but just the same with noya but with a little knowledge :)) he’s not bad tho

˚ Yo ngl when noya and Tanaka co-op, there kinda insanely good 😳😳

˚ Talking about co-op they like to call eachother and do boss battles together and it’s like so wholesome?? (Ignore the screaming tho HAHA-)

˚ Surprisingly he does his daily commissions! He try’s to remind noya while he’s at it but kinda forgets lmao

˚ Nah he probably wouldn’t due to noya (fair and square my dude)

˚ Hmm decent amount but not a lot of Mora and Primogems, but he gets characters!! He gets a lot of four stars but somehow he’s good at maining them!

˚ My guess he mains Rosiaro! He thinks she’s pretty— pretty cool! (Shhhh, you didn’t see that)

˚ He also thinks Fichel is cool too, and yes, he believes the story’s she tells.

˚His team would be Rosiaro, Lisa, female traveler (Lumie) and Beidou

HOLY SHIT—THAT TOOK A LOT OF BRAIN POWER TO CONTINUE THIS— YES I KNOW IM WEAK STFU SJSBJAHAH— ANYsways,, I hope you enjoyed this :))))

Also if you wanna play with me in genshin impact send me a dm or ask 🥴🥴 Btw if your wondering my team is, Lumie, Xingqiu, qiqi, and Yanfi!! I mostly main Lumie and Xingqiu hehe

Also my next part will include the rest of the Karasuno team so keep an eye out hehe! Also remember to take care of yourself ilysm!! 💖💖💖💖

reblogs are appreciated :))

[unohanadaydreams]

So, it’s time for some more re-read updates bc I’m incapable of not dumping my thots kthx.

The thing is, seeing this entire scene play out makes me even more depression that this was never taken full circle in terms of Rukia and Ichigo’s connection to Kaien being revealed to them.

Like, you’re telling me glutton for punishment Rukia Kuchiki wouldn’t have felt even MORE guilt after finding out Kaien was related to Ichigo? That she robbed one of the most important people in her life of having KAIEN to help him?

And her confronting Ichigo with that and telling him abit about Kaien and he’s just like ‘I can tell you learned a lot from him, he sounds just like you’ and she just can not handle that and breaks down because holy shit? She really has passed on the heart Kaien gave her to Ichigo and she’s kept his memory alive all this time. His heart is in her and it’s made it’s way to Ichigo THROUGH her.

Like 😔 where was Rukia’s final catharsis moment and taking Ichigo to the Shibas, alive. Where was her not leaving this time, not carrying the blood of a teacher but the shoulder of a student. She isn’t the reason a Shiba is dead now. She’s the reason one is alive.

You think Gin and Luppi had a lot of meaningful conversations about uuuuh…..hot bods. Like part of me thinks Luppi is one of the only Arrancar who could stand Gin and also that Gin does not mean this bc he saw those tentacles on Rangiku.

Personally I think Gin encouraging Luppi to attack the human world to ‘assert his new rank’ or whatever is an awfully good way to off some strong Arrancar from Aizen’s army especially since he would KNOW about sealing procedures among captains/lieutenants.

Gin’s happy ending is you dying, Ulquiorra, isn’t that nice? 💕

I love how he contradicts himself instantly. Why are you treating your brother’s wounds if he’s just a box and you only cared about the data? Why did you single out the guy who killed him?

Science men in Bleach are positively PHOBIC to looking like they have meaningful connections.

Szayelaporro “I’m too mature to care about things that aren’t me, myself, and my science” Granz stfu

This confuses me. Like, WHERE is that good score counting towards??? Sure as fuck not the kido corps. Like, this further lends to my theory that lots of students are getting offed for not being strong enough in the academy because going back to the rukongai isn’t an option.

No way this academy is getting full classes of new students every single year and yet they only have a handful of thousands in the gotei 13. Especially considering that for, presumably, the original run of Bleach, it was canon that soul society was THE ONLY soul society, for all human dead. Which is honestly less confusing than every country having their own bc like…..borders and shit have changed so many times just in the past 1000 years, how do you even go about deciding which humans go to which soul society (and like are there multiple versions of Hueco Mundo? Of Hell? It’s too much)

This scene hits, but it would be even more devastating with a fade in and out of that month they spent together just saying Kubo it’s okay to give us content of two women talking about not Ichigo.

Also, I love that Rukia still finds a way to think about Kaien’s lesson and apply it to herself in a negative way. Like you can not get a bad grade in dying, ma’am. You’re doing your best.

Also Orihime seeing Rukia almost die is ❤️ very angst much horror thank you.

This entire line of thought was so unnecessary and held up exactly 0 percent. It wasn’t even needed for Ichigo to go after Aizen bc like…..he already took Orihime???? Why make him a little bit more mad about her reputation?

You can not tell me that Aizen, who has been playing 4D chess for hundreds of years, was like ‘yeah it’ll be very convincing that this teenage girl decided to jump to my ship after I had numerous people she loved almost killed and my goal is definitely to have Soul Society not help Ichigo and co under that premise. I’m not planning anything, Soul Society and definitely not moving up the war love u xoxoxo.’

Yamamoto could have just straight up said ‘I’m not sacrificing my soldiers for one human girl but gl with Aizen bitch.’ Because that’s what it really comes down to. Yamamoto is trying to fake out Aizen and seem on lockdown/like he’s waiting until Winter—the whole Orihime Is Traitor thing makes very little sense in that regard.

I will say that Hueco Mundo arc really upped the casual violence and body horror in Bleach as a whole so yet another win for this arc.

Also I love how Grimmjow is one of the villains in Bleach that even the most ‘problematic characters haters’ will simp for when this is his baseline when it comes to just annoyance. He is so hot he transcends dumb fandom discourse. This man is causally annoyed so he’s slowly and purposefully breaking Lollys leg so she fully understands before he does it. The ultimate vindictive bitch.

I know that she probably is freaked out about her leg coming back because it’s a bat shit amount of power involved in doing that, but I think she’s infinitely more horrified that Orihime not only healed her, but does so without a word, almost devoid of emotion.

She freely cusses Grimmjow out, tries to barter with him, tries to persuade him, and generally feels comfortable running her mouth because she knows violence is happening regardless. She is afraid and doesn’t want it to happen but she knows the song and dance.

But she hits Orihime with a lot of fear behind it, barely able to say more than get away. And despite that, plus the beating (AND BROKEN FUCKING PINKIE just hanging there bent) Orihime was given, Lolly is given her leg back. And she says nothing. She doesn’t ask for anything. Or want anything.

And in a place with a violent ridden caste system, I imagine that would be a lot. How do you reconcile your everyday life and how you treat everyone around you and how they treat you when you’re faced with a person who doesn’t adhere to those rules. How do you face the realization that some human girl can give you back a leg and bring back your only friend and do it not because you deserve it, but because you’re alive and need help and that’s all the reason needed. Kindness can be a curse. Cornered dogs bite and then ache for the hand upon their head again.

Renji does this twice in this arc so far, this being the first time. This man is like ‘I may not be the strongest but I can take second degree burns and falling buildings like a fucking champ and that’s about to be your problem’. You can’t tell me he doesn’t play chicken with Ikkaku by standing way too close to fireworks after they’re lit and seeing who’s less fucked up after. Sake of course included.

Also Szayelaporro and Uryu are like rival theater kids in this fight trying to bang out the best one liner and pose. Too bad Uryu wasted time trying to run away instead of pulling out his sewing kit to outdo Szayelaporro’s costume change.

Actually, I’m Frankenstein, not Frankenstein’s monster :/

[amphii-writes]

Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Fairy Godparents Job

leverage 2.04

parker trying to console their client and failing HORRIBLY

she’s trying her best, your honor

+

Parker: That went super!

- - - - -

hardison and eliot are wearing the same color shirt, like the EXACT SAME color ???

matching boyfriends

also eliot is wearing the hair braids again 🥰

- - - - -

parker making herself at home, getting cereal and perching on the edge of eliot’s chair

- - - - -

sophie coming in and immediately eating (cookies)? me too

- - - - -

Hardison: Fowler's confined to his $6 million penthouse overlooking the Charles River.

Eliot: Yeah, that's a rough punishment, huh?

Hardison: The whole place is outfitted with 24/7 surveillance so the feds can keep an eye on him. Now, (hits button) we can, too. I piggybacked on their wireless feed

parker and eliot smile brightly at hardison’s cleverness I love it

- - - - -

Sophie: Still, for us to get in and search the place, we've got to get rid of Fowler.

Nate: Now, there are three general exceptions for house arrest. There's personal safety, death of a relative, and family events.

Eliot: Personal safety. We could burn the apartment down.

Parker: Ooh! Ooh! (raises hand)

Eliot: Or death of a relative

eliot being chaotic and parker being HERE FOR IT also stfu we all know you wouldn’t kill anybody

- - - - -

Nate: Uh, w- who's that?

Hardison: Oh. Oh, the kid. Kid's from her first marriage. Widmark.

Eliot: Oh, I'm sorry. "Widmark"?

Hardison: Rich people, man.

Eliot: Geez..

big mood

- - - - -

Hardison: He's a fifth-grade student at Dalton Academy. Academically unexceptional. No extracurriculars. He's allergic to strawberries.

Parker (laughs): Strawberries...

HER LAUGH

- - - - -

Sanford: Mark Sanford. I'm head of the concerned parents association.

Nate: That must be very exciting for you

- - - - -

I wonder if they actually wrote a book for nate’s cover story

- - - - -

[Apartment above the Fowler’s]

(Parker and Hardison are walking through an empty apartment with a real estate agent)

Real Estate Agent: Open floor plan. 3,200 square feet. Uh, panoramic views of the park and the Charles. Uh, there's a fitness center, a rooftop pool, uh, concierge service. It's the perfect newlywed apartment.

Hardison: Oh, it's, the place, it's fantastical. What do you think, Binky?

Parker (head and shoulders inside ductwork): It's a little small.

Hardison: Th-the apartment, Binky. What do you think of the apartment? We'll take it. She, she loves air

this is hilarious but you couldn’t convince me that this is exactly what would happen if they went house hunting for real (brewpub ??? I think the fuck so)

- - - - -

(Skyler trips Widmark, who falls to the floor)

Eliot: Hey. You. Take your helmet off. What's your name?

Skyler: Skyler Sanford.

Eliot: Sky... Skyler?

Skyler: Yeah.

Eliot: Is that a boy's name? Don't do that again. Put your hat on. You're up against Wid--

(Eliot sees that Widmark has gotten back on the line)

Eliot: I said get out there, man. Get out here.

(the boys move onto the mat)

Eliot: All right.

(Widmark struggles with his helmet as kids giggle)

Eliot: What are you doing, man? What are you doing? (to kids) Don't laugh! What are you doing? (whispering) There's girls here. You're better than that. Turn your hat around

I personally didn’t like this scene with him making fun of the kid’s name but he did technically deserve it because he was a bully + the whole girls thing? I mean I guess that’s a motivator but idk he could have said something different

- - - - -

(Parker is installing a motion detector above a doorway)

Parker: Stop moving!

Hardison (kneeling for Parker to stand on): Look— it don't have to be exact. Woman, it's a motion detector. Just point it that way.

Parker: Watch out..

poor hardison she’s standing on his back WEARING H E E L S

+

THEIR MATCHING OUTFITS THO

- - - - -

Hardison: R- right. Right. Right. So, uh, what you all been up to?

Taggert: Well, actually, we've had a pretty good run of it lately. Closed some big cases.

McSweeten: Big.

Taggert: Moscone, for one.

McSweeten: Moscone, no more-ne.

Taggert: We also shut down a huge meth ring in California during a bank robbery.

the bit about them directly profiting off of the leverage crew? hilarious every time

- - - - -

Eliot: (swinging the thing in his hand) One of you two can identify the gunman, right?

Hardison: Oh, yeah, sure. He stopped and let me take a picture of him as I was chasing him.

Eliot: Hey, you know what, man? I've been around little kids all day. I don't need to come home and do all this crap.

Hardison: Hey, man, with all that? I've been in this pink shirt and these tight plaid pants, these old webster loafers, this girl is walking on my back. I don't need this, man.

married bickering

- - - - -

(Parker hands Eliot the pad she’s been drawing on that has a picture of the gunman)

Eliot: Is this the guy?

Parker: Mm-hmm.

Eliot: See? (tosses the pad on the table)

Hardison: Wow. I didn't know you could do that.

Parker: I thought everybody could do that

SHES SO TALENTED + her boys are behind her v impressed

- - - - -

the smooth lil handoff of the metal detector phone between parker and hardison

- - - - -

Nate: Eliot had trouble adjusting, all right? But he found a way to make his style work in this setting, so...

[Gym]

(Eliot leads the kids through martial arts movements)

Eliot: Hai! Pain! Honor! Strength! All right. Come at me!

(all of the girls rush him at once, taking him to the ground)

eliot, when faced with having to teach a gym class for little girls: thEY MUST BE ABLE TO PROTECT THEMSELVES

- - - - -

(Parker puts a takeout cup down on the middle of some blueprints. Hardison sighs and takes it off the blueprints)

Hardison: This is why we can't have nice things

bruh you’re literally no better you have literally NO right

- - - - -

McSweeten: Oh, that one's actually mine.

(Parker drinks from the cup and smiles at him)

McSweeten: Uh, I just had my lips on that. If, uh, it's like I gave you a little coffee kiss.

Taggert: I think your partner is sweet on McSweeten.

Hardison: What? No.

(turns to see Parker and McSweeten laughing by the window)

hardison: *whips his head around* NO WHAT NOT ON MY WATCH

- - - - -

Taggert: No? Well anyway. (pulls a letter from his pocket) Uh, the judge approved Fowler's day pass so he can go see some play his kid is doing at school.

Hardison: Final-freaking-ly, man! I-I love the theater. It's-- "Cats". R- reow

that whole cats thing hits different post-2019

(no doubt, hardison has OPINIONS™ about that movie)

- - - - -

hardison poorly rappelling throughout the series is an aesthetic

- - - - -

Widmark (comes out of the stall): Do you have a lot of friends?

Sophie: No. No, I-I never used to have any. But, um, now, yes, I-I do. A few.

her SMILE your honor

- - - - -

Sophie: Did you know I was an actress?

Widmark: No. Are you good?

Sophie: Well, others don't seem to think so.

Widmark: Maybe they just can't see you for who you are.

Sophie: Do you know what they say about acting? They say it's about telling the truth, about, about sharing a little part of yourself that people don't normally see. But if you don't--if you don't really know yourself then they think you're lying. And I think that's my problem. I've been lying for so long, that, um, I don't even know what the truth is anymore.

Widmark: I don't want to lie to anybody.

Sophie: No. No, you don't have to, Widmark. What you need to do is you just have to go out there and be Widmark. Just tell the truth. Be, be who you really are. If you can do that, then I promise you, people will believe in you

this was a slightly sophie-centric episode and I loved it

- - - - -

Nate: Well, you know, this is interesting. This must be a-a first. I mean, it's the only time I can remember that the con depended solely on you telling the truth. How'd it feel?

Sophie: Eh, good. Don't get used to it.

Nate: Oh, no. No.

Sophie: I start telling the truth all day, I stop being Sophie Devereaux.

Nate: Maybe that's, uh, A good thing. (walks away)

Sophie: Uh-uh

[imagines-mha]

class 1-A playing mario kart

Character(s): izuku, uraraka, bakugo, todoroki, kirishima, kaminari, sero, mina

EASILY of the most competitive. Especially if it’s against Bakugo.

Recipe for total chaos like this lil bitch spent an entire 2 seasons breaking his arms and strengthening them again he HAS TOO MUCH CONTROL OVER BUTTONS

Can’t stfu when playing so the game’s banned after 8pm in the dorms. Thanks midoriya.

He mains mario when he wants to be cool but we all know toad’s his true calling 😌

Competitive AF. Not as much as Izuku or Bakugo but she could beat ur ass in it and she KNOWS

Gets physically really into it. Leans forward, presses buttons like her life depends on it, swings her ENTIRE MF BODY around like shes in an irl police chase this girl knows some shit 😳

Has accidentally hit some people in the face before *cough* it was bakugo *cough*

Mains either peach or wendy depending on her mood

Why would anyone WITHOUT a death wish play against him and WIN.

He’s bettering himself as a man. I know this, and i love him. But Mario Kart really does bring out his worst side. His language is 97% swearing

He takes this shit almost as serious as sports festivals and WILL fuck shit up if he doesn’t win. Gets mad at Todoroki for a) being confused b) looking like he doesn’t give a fuck c) winning anyways

Mains any scary looking bitch in the game. It was always Bowser until Sero started makin daddy bowser jokes around him smh 😣😣

Help this man. He is the CEO of driving in the wrong direction and almost crying because why is this so hard?

Somehow. Some How. He wins more times than losing. Bakugo swears he’s only pretending to be confused for the sympathy vote

Stays silent the entire time except for small confused grunts here and there. His eyes narrow in so much concentration u can just tell his mind is doing backflips dndnwjdj

He mains either shyguy or his mii character

The TEAM PLAYER. You have no fear of getting punched with this man around no WAY JOSÉ!!

The only problem is that he sticks his tongue out whenever he plays and does the lil lean-forward thing and it’s so cute you drive right off the track every time djfndnjjsw

He’s secretly competitive af but he won’t show it- genuinely celebrates with you whenever you win he’s just so good

His LUNGS WORK OVERTIME PLAYING THIS GAME ISTF. Screams and shouts like he’s at fuckin coachella like kami bby CHILL

He gets so into it that his brain spazzes out and he completely forgets what he’s supposed to be doing lmao

His cute dumbass ends up fucking up *cue his gamer boy tears*

He mains wario and sero mains waluigi and they think this is the defining mark of their friendship

Could play the game with one hand while high on marijuana and still win with flying colours smh 😔

Has never came below 3rd place in his life and it pisses everyone off because he plays like he doesn’t give a shit

Like fr he’ll lay back on the sofa playing while having full scale conversations with his opponents abt life and everyones like SHUT UP SERO IM TRYING TO MF CONCENTRATE FJENFNWNDNW

He basically bullied everyone into letting him be waluigi because “he literally looks like me wtf guys i thought we were bros and you won’t even let me have this one thing. Huh. Feels real nice to be excluded” and everyone immediately gives in because the stars weep when Sero Hanta is upset thank u

Exactly like Kaminari. But worse.

Talks big and threatens EVERYONE with her “skills” and “game”, and tbh everyone believes her because what ISN’T mina a pro at?

This, apparently.

Spends the entire race crashing into Kaminari and falling off cliffs with him. They almost turn the lounge into john cena WWE supreme court every damn time. Rainbow road is her nemesis

Mains daisy because she craves the demise of men also she’s gay bye