#and it's like okay???? these are hazards of being in public anywhere!!!! and i assure you there are more 'normal' rides

[ben-hardy-jones]

Missing you

Author: @ben-hardy-jones​

Pairing: Billy x fem!reader

Warnings: angst, character death, fluff

Song: You Are The Reason by Calum Scott  

Word count: 2.800ish

Summary: Billy and you grew up together, spent every day together and loved each other to death until the day he never came back. 

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They say your first love will always be live and will live forever in your heart. Growing up with Billy, you would never imagine that to be so true.

Since the moment you were born, you two were destined to be by each other's side. You had only your dad, who took advantage of every moment to remind you how your mother's death was all your fault since you shared your date of birth with her death date.

The only positive thing in your life at that time was Billy and his mom. You two shared a lot in common. Both with a single parent who happened to be close friends, making you and Billy inseparable. Every day was spent at his house, fooling around.

Not even the fact that he was three years older than you stopped you two from becoming impossible to separate so much that people started assuming you were siblings.

 As the years moved, you slowly but surely drifted away from your father as his interests shifted to hazard and alcohol more than his own daughter. You were taken care of by Billy's mom after all, why would he care, right?

Growing up independently, having to take care of yourself a lot made you grow up sooner. Even sooner than Billy, which caused some tension between you two as he was often scolded for being way too childish while you, the younger one, was praised.

Things changed between you and Billy when you hit the age of thirteen and started to look at him in a different light. He was no longer the hyperactive blonde kid with bright green eyes and a cheeky smile in your eyes.

However, while you were busy daydreaming about your slowly raising love for a person you spent every day of your life with, he was occupied with his new friends. You'd never met them and didn't know who they were. Yet, you didn't like the idea of Billy being away from you for so long.

He would leave for school in the morning, shortly after you two texted, and come home late at night. Countless calls with his mom and she still wasn't able to tell you where he was hanging out. It made you anxious. She would always say that he's sixteen, he's a young teenage boy who likes to be free and she will not restrict him from that.

Eventually, you managed to find out what he was doing one day while watching the news. Police were looking for a group of three masked thieves who broke into few houses and stole expensive jewellery and tech gadgets. On the video playing on the TV, it was hard to tell who these people were. They moved like ghosts, jumping from one roof onto another like it was nothing. The newsperson even called them 'skywalkers', making you laugh lightly. But no matter how far from you he was, Billy was always recognizable for you.

You called him to your house that night. Unexpectedly, he came. Dressed in full black, he looked so different from the soccer-loving teenage boy you were used to. Even when you saw him every day, it felt like you hadn't talked in years. As he took off his black pullover hoodie, your eyes drifted to the exposed skin of his ripped tummy with prominent v-line before he fixed his shirt and covered himself. Turning around, you tried calming your hormones down by taking a deep breath, hoping he wouldn't notice the blush creeping on your cheeks. With a black backpack on his shoulder, he sat down on your unmade bed.

"What's wrong, love?" he asked, a small flirtatious smile on his face.

"What is wrong?" you cursed, staring deadly into his wide eyes as you stood in front of him with arms folded across your chest, "What are you doing, Billy?"

His brows furrowed as he leaned closer to you. His elbows were supported by his athletic thighs.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I know you. I know the real you but this," you pointed at his outfit, "this is wrong. I'm not stupid, I saw you on TV-"

"Y/N-" he tried to interrupt you but unsuccessfully.

"Don't Y/N me. You're a thief. You steal expensive things from people and why? To go to prison for the rest of your life. Why?"

"I'm helping mom and you, okay? Where do you think all the money, she gives you comes from? She's a hairdresser, barely getting by," he grabbed your hand, pulling you to him, "we have nothing left after she pays the mortgage, buys groceries and pays all the bills and she has to take care of not just her own child but you as well."

"I never asked for any of that," you mumbled, sitting on the bed next to Billy.

"I'm a good thief, alright?" he joked, a chuckle leaving your lips, "They won't catch us. We're fast and we're quick. Police can't keep up with us. That's why they asked the public for help."

You laid your head on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his skin against your cheek.

"I will take care of both the woman I care about, alright? I'm not leaving you behind and I'm not going anywhere either."

Looking up, his eyes were already on you as his nose brushed yours slightly. A cold chill ran down your spine as his hand cupped your face so gently like he thought you were made of porcelain.

"What if you get caught?"

His laugh was quiet and subtle, but it still made your heart jump.

"I won't, don't worry about that."

Time seemed to stop as you stared into each other's eyes. There was no need to do anything. You laid your chin comfortably on his shoulder as his hand snuck around your waist, his hand gently squeezing your hip.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

You nodded with a sheepish smile, not able to say a word. Billy's lips felt soft and moved against yours almost naturally. There were a few moments when your teeth clashed and your noses bumped into each other but no first kiss was ever perfect. With Billy, however, it didn't matter what people imagined when someone said the word 'perfect'. For you, anything related to Billy was perfect no matter what.

 Months went by and you found yourself in a bathtub with your naked back against Billy's chest. His hands caressing your flesh anywhere he could reach, the warmth of the hot water relaxing your sore muscles.

"Do you work for someone or is it just you and the others stealing random stuff?" you mused, head resting on his shoulder. Billy kept drawing circles on your upper thighs.

"Why would you ask that?"

His lips gently touched your naked skin, planting wet kisses everywhere, sometimes biting subtly to create a red mark that would disappear in a few seconds.

"Just wondering," you shrugged in an attempt to appear uninterested.

"I've never met him but there is a guy who always tells us what to steal and then pays us."

"Isn't it better to just do it all yourself so you get more money instead of risking your life for someone you've never met before?"

You could feel Billy smiling against the flesh of where your neck meets your shoulder.  

"Didn't you lecture me a few months ago about how bad stealing is, love?"

"Like I said, I'm just wondering," you turned your head to the side, facing your lover as his arms moved around your waist, pressing you into him.

"How about I'll answer all your questions after our bath, alright" he whispered, lips brushing yours teasingly as his hand slid down your tummy. Goosebumps appeared on your skin. Pushing forward, you closed the gap between your lips and surrendered to Billy's idea.

 Time flew by. Billy stood by your side during the hard times as well as during the sweet ones. He was one of only a very small number of people who attended your father's funeral, his hand never leaving yours as you cried silently by his side.

Life became harder out of nowhere. Billy's skills grew more and more professional and he became an excellent and untouchable thief. You thought he would stop stealing when he earned enough money but trying to persuade him into getting a normal, legal job was pointless.

He started going abroad. It made you scared for his life even more. Billy was out there, in the unknown, getting tangled up in illegal life and you felt like you were losing him.

Lying on your side, you were trying to close your eyes when you heard movement from the kitchen. Slowly getting up, you tiptoed to see if there was an intruder. Billy wasn't supposed to come home until next week.

But there he was, standing by the sink, drinking a glass of water as his favourite blue jacket with white stripes laid on the kitchen counter.

"Billy," you exhaled, running into his arms, throwing yours around his neck to bring him close. The faint smell of his cologne mixed with a hint of sweat hit your nostrils and you relaxed, even more, when you realized your Billy was finally back.

He hissed the moment you buried your head into his neck.

"What's wrong?"

Pulling away, you cupped his face gently, running your thumbs across the dry skin of his face, subtly cursing him for not taking care of his own body.

"I'm alright, love," he tried assuring you, but your eyes already landed on two bloody gushes on his right eyebrow, only protected by already dirty butterfly stitches.

"Are you joking right now?" you scolded him. Grabbing his hand tightly, you led him to sit on one of the bar stools as you swiftly ran to the bathroom to grab your first aid kit.

Billy was patiently waiting for you with the knowledge of not fighting you. Didn't matter that he was around 16 centimetres taller with mountains of muscle. You were the one in charge in your relationship.

He watched with an adoring smile on his beaten face as you walked towards him while rummaging through the kit, cursing under your breath about how stupid his job is.  

"Aren't I lucky to have a nurse by my side?" he enthused while you prepared everything that was needed.

"I'm not a nurse yet," you replied, emphasizing the word 'yet', "I'm graduating next year so you better be in the country."

"I'll make sure of that."

Raising your eyebrow, you stopped wiping the blood off his skin.

"I promise," he chuckled, squeezing your wrist reassuringly.  

"This would heal better with proper stitches and not butterfly stitches," you mumbled underneath your breath as Billy watched you work with adoration in his eyes, "but of course you're too tough to go to the hospital, big guy."

He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have a woman like you by his side and every time he left, he counted the hours 'til he would be back and be able to hold you in his arms.

 Almost a year later, you turned around in the doorway, Billy's old shirt loosely hanging on your naked body as you watched the man you loved with your whole heart lying on his back, the blanket barely covering his lower area as he stretched in the bed, his prominent muscles bulging.

"Come here," he mumbled sleepily with a raspy morning voice as he motioned for you to come back to bed.

Without a second thought, you obeyed and tiptoed towards him. Stopping at his side, he extended his arm towards you. Your hand fit perfectly into his as you interlocked your fingers.

"I need to shower, Billy," you smiled. However, it was useless. His cheeky smile appeared on his handsome face as he tucked forward, making you fall on top of him.

"Billy, seriously, I have to be in uni in an hour."

His lips went straight to your neck, sloppy kisses covering a few faint bruises he left on you a few days ago. Pride surged through him. He felt you shiver as his hand slid underneath your shirt, laying on your lower back and slowly moving downwards, making you moan.

Within seconds, you were underneath him as he kissed your lips passionately while you wrapped your legs around his naked hips.

"I only need five," he mumbled between the kisses as you surrendered to him completely, letting him do whatever he desired with your body.

 Making coffee, Billy's hands snuck around you from behind as he pressed a quick kiss on your temple.

"How was uni?"

"Exhausting as always," you replied, filling both your cups with brown liquid before putting the kettle down, "aren't you supposed to be 'working'?"

"There's no need for the air quotes, love."

"Well, I've never heard about stealing being a job."

Billy smiled and helped you with breakfast. Quickly finishing the scrambled eggs before putting them on plates.

"I'm leaving for Kiev tomorrow," he announced while eating his breakfast as you were just sitting down.

You looked at the calendar on your fridge, frowning.

"But I have my graduation ceremony on Friday, Billy?" you pouted, putting your fork down.

"That's far enough."

"It's Sunday. Can you fly to Kiev and make it back within five days?"

"Of course. It's a simple job-"

"Don't lie to me," you interrupted him as you looked him in the eyes. Billy and you spent so much time together that it was impossible for either of you to lie to each other.

"Look," he put down the fork and came to you, kneeling next to your chair, "we'll arrive on Monday noon. Preparation will take a day or two before the mission and I will be back by Thursday evening tops. Don't worry about me, love, I'll be alright."

"Why Kiev?" you couldn't help but ask as he held your hands tenderly.

"There's this necklace called Kalahari. We're supposed to get it for someone. It's big money, love. We'll be rich."

"I don't wanna be rich. I want you to be here with me," you whispered, looking at your fingers.

"I have to take care of you and mom. Plus, I'm good at what I do, alright? Stop worrying and let's enjoy today before my flight," he kissed your forehead and sat down again, finishing breakfast in silence.  

 It's been three months now and you don't think you'll ever recover. The cold autumn breeze messes up your hair swiftly put into a bun as you stand in the empty cemetery in front of his grave, remembering how it all went down.

You remember waiting for him. Waking up on that Friday morning, getting ready for your ceremony while looking at your front door to see Billy walking in any second. That never happened.

Feeling worried and heartbroken as your eyes searched the crowd of proud parents, siblings and friends for his heartwarming green eyes and that blonde mess on top of his head he called hair. You expected to see him standing next to his mom who was recording you as your name was said, a huge smile on her face.

Deep inside, you were hoping he was just late. Maybe the mission got delayed and he'd be back that night. But he wasn't. He didn't come back next week either.

And then you got the news. His mom called you one early morning. Her cries were loud, she was hyperventilating as she told you. Billy was gone and he wasn't coming back.

The funeral was pitiful. You recognized two people who turned up as those who worked with him. They didn't stay until the end. Probably just making sure he was truly dead. It was just you, his mom and a boy who told you he was his friend, but you never met him.

Holding a tissue in front of your face, you tried to hide the running mascara as you stood by Billy's mom's side, holding her hand tightly. Two hours after the empty coffin was lowered into the grave, you were the only one left.

 A chill runs down your spine as you start to feel the cold air around you.

"Remember when you said you'd grow old with me?" you choke out. Your heart feels empty as you look at Billy's name written across the grave, "You're a bastard for leaving me here alone, Billy, but I'll never stop loving you."

One last time, you read the engravings you chose: "I lived a good life. Now I'll have a good rest."

"Happy anniversary, baby."

Lying the blue rose in front of his grave, you turn around to walk away. Your car, brought by Billy for your twentieth birthday, is the only one at the cemetery. Sitting at the driver's seat, you finally let the tears go, wetting your cheeks as you cry your heart out while tightly holding the heart necklace with a photo of Billy and you together, the last remaining piece of him you'll hold tightly for the rest of your life.

[plus-size-reader]

Crippled pt 3

Ivar the Boneless x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1231 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Ivar finds a way to make the best of reader’s little deal 

Read Part 1 here 

Read Part 2 here 

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You didn't expect Ivar to take you up on your offer. You didn't actually think it was possible for him to get out of the secure cell. There were twenty guards posted along the hallways leading to your room but somehow, he done it.

"When should we be married?”

You opened your eyes slowly, recognizing his voice. You knew exactly who it was but there was no way he was there. You assumed you were dreaming, but entertain his vision anyhow. "I would not marry a savage like you" you muttered, your voice drowsy and full of sleep.

Ivar hummed, even barely conscious you knew well enough to sass him. It was hilarious, and filled him with the same amount of pride he got on the battlefield. You were the only woman in the world who had ever made him feel this way and as entertaining as it was, it made him uneasy.

“You said that you and I would be wed if I managed to escape your little room...and I did” he shrugged as if it was simple. Clearly he had no understanding of how hard it was meant to be getting out of your cells. Your father had heard many stories about how dangerous the youngest son of Ragnar could be, and had taken special precaution to keep him in.

It was clear to you though, that Ivar was going to do whatever he had to in order for you to become his wife. “It’s obvious you escaped Ivar, how else would you be here if you didn’t?” you ask, wiping the sleep from your eyes slowly. He was a fool, but for some reason, you didn’t mind.

There was something endearing, albeit obnoxious about Ivar’s ability to get out of any situation no matter what. He had this dedication none of the men in your kingdom had ever shown you.

Thousands of men had come to your father and eldest brother begging for your hand in marriage but each time you’d refused. All you saw when you looked at them were scrawny, foolish men that had no chance of dealing with or loving a woman like you. None of them could even hope to speak to you, they weren’t man more than children, quarreling over your hand and title.

“So you will come with me, and become my bride?” he questioned, though there was something in his voice that told you he wasn’t exactly asking. You were afraid for a moment, there was something so frightening about agreeing to something so outlandish. You couldn’t actually marry the viking could you? He was a prisoner of your state, what would it mean if you were to marry him?

You frowned, running your hands through your hair which was still loose down your back. It took you a moment to gather your thoughts, your eyes flicking over Ivar’s face, his bright eyes burning into you intensely in the darkness. “How would I become your wife? Would you have me cut my hair? Pierce my flesh with ink? What would a savage wedding entail?” you cooed, only half kidding.

Ivar had never understood your hesitance, did you truly not wish to be his wife? If only you knew any of his idiotic brothers, he wouldn’t have seemed like too bad an option.

“You and I would be married in front of the gods and all my family, then we’ll sacrifice a goat and there will be race between my brothers” he explained, talking through each event carefully. He had never thought about how strange his people’s customs must have seemed to someone on the outside. He could only imagine what sorts of horrors your christian God could cook up.

The only part of his statement that didn’t shock you was the goat sacrificing. That was actually what you’d assumed his people did for special events but the rest seemed fairly normal. “And you wouldn’t touch me, until the night of our wedding?” you clarify, you were terrified that the wedding would involve some sort of public bedding ceremony. That sort of thing would be ungodly and there was no way you could justify that in your own mind, to your God.

Ivar chuckled, reaching out to take your hand in his own, squeezing them reassuringly. His action was meant to be comforting but it just made your tense. He was absolutely horrible at the this.

“I will not lay a hand on you until you ask me to” he assured, that was the first genuine thing you’d heard from him in the whole time he’d been in your kingdom’s custody and for the first time, you felt good about your bargain. “Okay Ivar, I will marry you” your voice was confident and strong, reminding Ivar of why he’d fallen for you in the first place.

You were so resilient, he was sure that only you would be able to raise his children. He’d been a hellion on his mother, so his son’s would undoubtedly be worse. It didn’t hurt that by wedding you, he would have tamed the wild Wessex princess.

Still, he couldn’t hide his shock, he didn’t think his proposal would actually work. “Excellent, we leave for Kattegat in the morning” he announced, leaning forward to place a light yet heated kiss to your waiting lips before crawling back to his room.

You weren’t sure how he did it, or if it really happened at all, but when the sun did finally rise, you were engaged to Ivar the Boneless. It wasn’t easy to explain to your father, who couldn’t believe you were purposefully going to some savage land with a brutish killer but he knew well enough that he couldn’t stop you.

The boat ride was horrible, considered you’d never been anywhere near the water before, led alone in a wooden ocean-casket. “Ivar!” You gasped, taking his hand with such an intensity that even he was surprised. Your grasp was tight with your nails digging into the flesh of his hand. “Gods woman” he groaned, yanking his hand back to look over the red trail you’d left behind, just slightly bleeding.

His eyes sparkled at the crimson dotting his hand, slightly startled but mainly in awe. He slowly brought his hand to his lips and licked the blood away, his eyes wide as he watched you. There was so much fear in your eyes but you still looked so beautiful. It was incredible to witness, your plush frame was hidden away from his eyes by thick fur but even so, he wasn’t regretting his offer.

Love wasn’t something Ivar was all that good at but even so, he knew what he felt for you. He wanted nothing more than to make you his faithful wife, teaching you about his culture and watching your body swell with his children. You felt bad for hurting him, but you felt faint, your heart was hammering so hard against your ribs that you feared for your health.

The water was black and raging against the side of the ship, rocking it violently. With Ivar being a cripple, you didn’t understand why he would ever risk going near the water but if he wasn’t bothered than you shouldn’t have been either. All you could hope for now was that being married to Ivar wasn’t going to be as hazardous as this ship was.