#and also sorry i can't just summarize things lol

[jeongheart]

touch

summary: 'physical touch refers to expressing and receiving affection through touch, physical closeness, and other forms of physical connection'.

w.c: 1.4k.

tags: strangers to friends to lovers (kinda?), mutual pining, fluff.

a.n: i'm soft, this was inspired by that video of jeongin bumping into jisung lol. my first innie work aaa i'm so happy that i finished it, i'm so proud of this one too.

as always, english is not my first language so sorry in advance for any mistakes, leave your thoughts if you like! it means a lot.

Jeongin doesn't like to be touched.

He strongly believes that his personal space is sacred, and he can't understand the people who require physical contact 24/7.

It's no secret to anyone that he dislikes (physical) displays of affection, not that he doesn't have them with the people he loves, he prefers to let them know that he loves them with a special gift on their birthday or by buying them something that reminds him of that person.

He especially hates hugs. He feels trapped by the other person, and despite the fact that in the 22 years of his life he repeated it a thousand times, his family and friends don't seem to get the hint.

He doesn't want to be surly, really. It's something that has been like that since he can remember.

Jeongin doesn't like to be touched.

Except if that someone is you.

It's funny actually, you'd met casually, the way people met before: in real life. The first day of college was tough, everything and everyone was new and having to get used to a "grown-up" routine all of a sudden was something that took time.

He remembers the time exactly: 07:20 am. It was the first of the day, he was sitting in front of the class, he had a bad habit of being easily distracted, so he had to force himself to overcome his shame and desire to sleep to be in front of the blackboard.

The class started at 07:30, and the room was almost full. The professor arrived less than a minute ago and Jeongin was glad to be alone and in peace. His notebook lay open in front of him, the pages white and spotless.

Until you arrived, late.

You came running, it was obvious that you'd fallen asleep. Your hair was somewhat messy, probably due to the wind and the run you made through the building, your face was red (from embarrassment and exertion), but a smile was present on your face.

The professor looked at you funny and with a gesture of her hand she asked you to come in and take a seat somewhere free.

The only one was next to Jeongin.

Your eyes lit up at the sight of the empty chair, and even though you couldn't see it, Jeongin rolled his eyes as he saw you approaching the table.

With the woman summarizing her presentation, you arranged your things on the table (everything was in pastel colors, the blonde noticed) and you looked at him expectantly with that smile still on your face.

He could tell you were alone, actually, you were the only two who were. All your other classmates knew each other. So your attempt to start a conversation with him was logical, you also realized that he was alone.

"It looks like we'll be buddies" You smiled again and then told him your name while you extended your hand in an attempt to shake his, a very old gesture and not funny at all according to Jeongin.

He played dumb, but he told you his name. And then he said nothing more, watching out of the corner of his eye as you slowly lower your hand to rest it on your lap.

The weeks passed like this, you had a clear love language and unfortunately it was the one that Jeongin hated the most. You were always trying to touch him, not in a wicked or weird way, just friendly since that's how you showed affection. You were friends, but he couldn't tell you 'stop doing that' every time you reached out to touch his shoulder to get his attention.

You annoyed him every time you did that, but he couldn't deny that when you weren't getting clingy he appreciated your company. You were a comfortable presence in his life most of the time, and he liked not being alone in an unfamiliar environment where everyone greeted each other and ate together every day.

The first part of the academic year ended in the blink of an eye and the relationship between the two of you was only growing.

Jeongin didn't know when he let you touch his arm for the first time, he thinks it was in the library when you were studying for an exam.

He was nervous as he couldn't memorize anything and you, ever so nice, reached out your hand in an attempt to comfort him to rest it on Jeongin's left arm which was sprawled on top of the book he was trying to read.

Jeongin hadn't noticed that he hadn't tensed like the other times and he just kept reading and rereading the same sentences while the heat rose to your cheeks.

You didn't know what changed, but the fact that the boy who moved away every time you got at least 5 cm closer than normal had finally relaxed around you had butterflies flying in your stomach.

The months unfolded normal after that, and Jeongin would let you into his bubble of personal space more and more often.

He definitely hadn't realized how much he liked to feel your warm hands on his when he needed to calm down before a presentation or how his heart would jump in his chest when he saw you smile after you hugged him goodbye when he dropped you at your house after college.

"I like you a lot, Innie" You told him after the second exam.

Another final exam ended, and with it, the end of the year was drawing near. Jeongin was going to a vacation with his family in Busan and you definitely couldn't go weeks and weeks without seeing him, or his dimples or hearing his laugh and you would never forgive yourself if you didn't tell him everything that was on your mind every time you were together.

Jeongin looked like a statue, his mouth was opening and closing in an attempt to find the right words. His mind had short-circuited and it seemed that he had lost all ability to form a coherent sentence.

The snow was falling around the two of you, the heartless winter wrapped you from head to toe and as the minutes passed without an answer, your heart raced more and more and if Jeongin paid enough attention he could see how your eyes began to water as you overthought your sudden confession.

Maybe he didn't feel the same way, and you were making a fool of yourself. You began to prepare the speech of 'sorry, I shouldn't have said anything' to save your heart from the impending rejection and to be able to escape from that situation as quickly as possible.

Until Jeongin moved, he took two short steps until he was face to face to you. He was a head taller than you and your eyes searched his urgently, trying to decipher the answer he hadn't put into words.

The blond placed his big hands on your cheeks, reddened by the cold and now by shame, and caressed your skin with his thumbs.

You swore that if it wasn't for his soft grip on your face, you might have passed out from how fast your heart was beating, your legs felt like jelly, and the suspense felt eternal. You wanted to yell at him to answer or for him to do something, anything to finally stop your heart racing with feelings.

You opened your mouth to talk, but Jeongin closed the distance between you by placing his lips on yours.

You froze at first, arms still on either side of your body but then, as if awakened from a trance, you closed your eyes and allowed yourself to lose yourself in the heat of the kiss, everything around you felt cold except for this moment, the soft feeling of his plush lips on yours and the warmth spreading from the tip of your fingertoes to every strand of hair on your head.

He moved only a few inches from you, enough to be able to whisper over your lips "I like you too".

You laughed slowly, so softly that it almost felt like a whisper, so only he could hear it "Yes, I think I realized that" And tangling your hands behind his neck you brought him closer to you to kiss him again.

Jeongin doesn't like to be touched, but you were the only exception.

[heyhihellosworld]

𝗛𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁!

Pt 2 Pt 3

Mason Mount x reader

Word count: 4.5k, this is the longest one i've written so far

Summary: A quick bathroom fuck never hurt no one. Right?

Warnings: Fluff, Smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

Notes: Had fun writing this but didn't quite turn out the way I wanted. Plus I can't write Jack's accent so just pretend it's his talking lol and also smut is really hard to write so sorry for it, just couldn't skip it

"Oh my" you sighed, shaking your head at your brother. You were sprawled out on the couch, listening to Jack who hadn't stopped ranting for the last thirty minutes.

"Jack, come on man" you laughed, flicking his forehead with your fingers and ignoring his grimace. "I know what to do, I have been to games before. I won't go outside the box in game-time and I will see you later on" you summarized his rant with a pointed expression.

"I know you have, it's just... It was a long time ago and I just want ya to be safe" he sighed, standing up and heading to the kitchen, filling a bottle with water. "And you forgot one thing"

You scoffed at him, leaning your head back against the couch with a sarcastic chuckle "Oh wow, I'm so sorry how could I forget"

"Don't apricate the tone"

You laughed for real this time, meeting his playful eyes from across the room "I won't fuck any of your teammates Jack"

He hummed in appreciation of your words but couldn't help but fill in "any footballers"

"I won't fuck your teammats Jack" you declared, making him grunt "what, no no, no footballers" "That's mean!" you argued but he shook his head

You raised your eyebrows at him in a daring way "Either way you agree with no teammates or I will fuck all of your teammates" you threatened halfheartedly, eyes narrowing at his face.

"Fine" he sighed, giving up. It wasn't like you planned on fucking any of them, at least not tonight but you still felt good having won that small battle.

"Okay well are you ready?" he asked, making you jerk your head up from the couch "What? But it's like three hours to the game" you protested, not being ready at all.

"Well yeah, but if you wanna go you need to go with me and I have to be there in twenty minutes" "Why can't I just take an uber?" you questioned but stood up anyway, you knew this was a battle he would win and you were not ready to go yet. "No, just go get ready" Jack chuckled as you sprinted up the stair of his house. You had moved in with your brother a few days ago after having come home from studying in France for the last three years.

You had always been close, it only being three years between the two of you meant you had grown up really close. So when you announced you wanted to move back to England this year he had opened his home for you immediately, pleading you to live with him rather than your parents until you found a job and arranged a living on your own.

You sprinted to the bathroom, brushing your hair and whipping up some mascara before changing into a simple outfit, a hoodie and jeans since you were gonna wear his shirt later on anyways. Since Jack was always late so you didn't hurry your ass too much but took your time.

When you emerged from the stairs fifteen minutes later he was sprawled out on the couch smiling as you walked towards him, standing up and giving you a side hug. "I really missed you ya know" he hummed a smile taking over your face "well I have missed you to Jack"

He messed your hair around in a loving manner before you both tied your shoes and made your way to his car. He lived close to the arena and considering it was a home game it was only a fifteen minutes drive.

"I bet you'll start on the bench if you'r late" you hummed jokingly "nah, not when I got you with me" Jack grinned "Plus I warned them about it yesterday so don't worry, you won't miss me on the pitch, you will get to live your dream"

You smiled at him, "wow, how nice"

He grinned back at you, he looked just the same he had always done, of course he looked a lil more mature and manly then when he was a kid but not much had changed. He had the same strong face, same long stroppy hair and the same humor and personality. Never failing to make you smile.

"So, what will I do for five hours?" Jack shrugged "I don't know, entertain yourself"

"Are you gonna leave me on a bench?" you joked dramatically but when he shrugged you gasped "Jack Peter Grealish you are not leaving me like that!"

"Don't middle name me"

"Well don't leave me on a bench for five hours then!"

"I haven't done anything yet! We are in the car for fucks sake"

"Okay okay" you giggled "I'm gonna follow you around"

"You can not follow me into the changing room"

"Well fine, I can understand that but otherwise"

"Yeah, yeah, just don't get on ma nerves" he grunted, already regretting talking you into going with him.

"As you bed you lay" you grinned, messing his hair up to his dismay, grimace spreading over his features as he tried to fix his looks before you rolled up to the parking lot. There were already a couple of fans outside, wanting to talk to Jack and he was nice enough to wave his window down, sign some shirts and talk a little to the fans before excusing himself and driving into the private part of the park.

"Okay, behave now" he scolded playfully, your eyes rolling at his manner. "Oi! I saw that!"

You rolled your eyes again with a smile on your lips, ignoring his yelp and climbing out of the car. "Just go in Jack"

You walked after him into the building, he had a meet up with the team and then they walked to the pitch. It wasn't actually five hours but more like two-three hours until kickoff.

You didn't want to actually hang off him all day because you knew he needed to get into his mood as well so you opted to go directly to the arena and climbed up in the middle of the stand. It had been a long time since you were there last. You had grown up with the same passion for football as your brother but had never acted on it. You loved it but you didn't want it to be your job, only your hobby.

You had stopped playing as a teen and then opted to play only for fun in the garden with Jack or someone else when the opportunity came up. Even though you hadn't been here and watched his games you hadn't missed a single one of his since you moved. But you had to admit that sitting here beat the couch. Even empty the atmosphere was awesome.

You studied the players as they walked onto the pitch. It was an awesome game today, City against Chelsea. You didn't know that many players outside of City but Chelsea were a good team that you knew. Plus you had always had an extra eye for a few players at Chelsea.

Soon the players started to tumble onto the pitch. You spotted Jack walking with Phil, humming along each other and laughing, probably a stupid joke of Jack's.

Your air-pods buzzed by the sounds of your playlist whilst you just observed. Soon dark blue clothed players started to come onto the pitch as well, greeting some of the city players before focusing.

You let your eyes fleet around, naming the players you knew by name which was close to everyone. You knew a few of them personally but it was mostly Villa players you had met.

Suddenly your eyes stuck on one of the Chelsea players. He stuck out to you, not because he looked special or weird he just... stuck out. He had headphones on and looked really into his zone. Fair brown fluffy hair stuck out messily around the headphones and he had a slight scruff covering his chin. He was more than handsome.

Your eyes followed him around as he walked, stopping after a while to talk to Jack and a few other City players. You couldn't put a name to his face.

The idea of asking Jack about him traveled into your mind but you quickly waved the idea out of your head. He would never tell you if he got the impression you thought he was good looking.

As you stared at his movements he suddenly looked up at you, meeting your eyes with a concentrated look. You froze in your seat, shit had he noticed you staring. You tried to play it off but didn't move your eyes from him, mirroring the grin he gave you as he had spotted you.

His tongue poked out from the side of his mouth, swiping over his bottomlip before he followed his teammates off the pitch and back down the tunnel.

-

"Hey, you fell asleep?"

Your head snapped around to the tunnel where Jack's head poked out. "No no, just calm here" you hummed

Jack chuckled, nodding. Okay I just wanted to check on you, people are starting to come now so get away from there. We will start warming up in ten"

You nodded, walking down from the stand and into the tunnel where they were already preparing for the public. You squeezed yourself past and walked with Jack into the tunnel. "Hey, can I get coffee?" you pulled your cutest face, blinking at him while he rolled his eyes. "Sure, let me just check they are all dressed" he grunted, leaving you in the stairs. "Fine, come in" Jack gruffed, holding the door open for you into the city area of the building.

You waved trough the opening at the players who all greeted you back before taking a cup and making yourself some coffee while Jack looked at you with crossed arms. You weren't new to his teammates. During your French years you had been home to visit and met most of them. It had become known that where Jack went you went too. He was protective and always wanted to have you under his sight when there were a lot of people around.

"So, in ten minutes it's warm up so you gotta get to the box and please-" "I won't leave the box Jack" you sighed, rolling your eyes. "Calm down, It'll be fine"

"Little Grealish" John grinned, cutting off your conversation with Jack as he engulfed you in a hug "ah hi Stones, how are ya?"

"All good, what about you? Haven't seen you for a long time"

"I'm all good" you smiled "Jack said you moved back here?"

You nodded, sipping your coffee "Yeah, earlier this week, I finished my studies so it felt like the right decision"

"Well that's really nice, maybe I will see you around a little more than?" he grinned making Jack cough beside you "Yeah you sure will" you smiled, not missing the wink he threw you before going back to his seat.

"No" Jack grunted before you had even had the time to look at him. Laughter spilled out of your mouth before you could stop it "What"

"No, not gonna happen he is old plus he is my teammate"

You chuckled, leaning against his side "Don't worry Jack, I'm not into Stones, plus he has a girlfriend"

"Didn't seem to stop him" he grunted "Maybe not but it stops me. You don't have to be so tense Jack. I can take care of myself and I won't sleep with your teammates, I promised"

"Okay, Okay" he sighed, giving up on the argument. "Anyway, I'm just gonna fill this up and then i'll go. Good luck" you smiled, kissing his cheek before shouting a collective good luck and moving to your seat.

It was packed in the stadium already, people bussing for an hopefully exciting game. You smiled as you saw him jog up the pitch in his light blue set. Hair flopping as he ran. But soon your eyes changed direction as dark blue clothed men started to jog into the other half of the pitch.

Your eyes immediately found him, he looked ridiculously hot in his set, hair flopping a little and tongue again poking out from his lips. You noticed he was popular by the way the arena started buzzing as he did something towards them but yet you couldn't put your finger on who he was. You followed City and some national teams but not more than that. It was what you had time for.

The whole game your eyes seemed to fleet back to the brunette. He played really well and you caught yourself cheering when he scored a goal. Stopping quickly as you realized your betrayal.

Jack played really good too, creating a lot on his side and almost scoring a goal.

When the final whistle blew it was 3-2 to City and you cheered as the team waved up to the stands, clapping their hands to thank the public. You quickly slipped down to Jack again, just as he had told you too. All players had gone into the changing rooms so you sat down on the top of the stairs. Resting your back against the wall.

You were kinda tired, it had been an early morning and there was always a lot of tension and excitement during the game, a tension that was let off and left tiredness.

You went on your phone, sighing at all the notifications and shutting it again.

"Are you lost?"

You flinched, almost losing balance at the voice. Your head almost snapped off as you looked at the man who stood on the top of the stairs, looking down at you with a small smirk.

You felt your face heat up as you saw the familiar face of the handsome Chelsea player. "Ah, no" you said, your voice coming out choked and hurried. You cursed yourself, forcing yourself to calm down and act cool despite how ridiculously hot this man was.

"Really because usually fans aren't allowed to be here, how did you even get here?" "Ah you know I just climbed over the wall" you said in ironic voice, loving the smile that lit up his face

"So noticing tre sarcasm I'm guessing you're allowed here"

"Yeah" you breathed "My brother is playing on the team" you clarified making him hum in recognition "I see, i'm guessing city?" he grinned, looking down at your light blue shirt you had pulled on over your hoodie. "Yeah"

"Mase come on man!"

Mason looked back over his shoulder where one of his teammates shouted after him "Ah shit, I need to go. Pleasure to meet you..." "y/n"

"Ah, Mason" he greeted, shaking your hand awkwardly as you chuckled "MASON!"

"I'm coming!"

He bid farewell, jogging out the tunnel to grab something before winking at you as he went past up the stairs and into the changing room again.

You felt as if your whole body flushed as you looked after him, shaking your head at how you were acting. He was a normal human being for fucks sake. Just ridiculously gorgeous.

"Ah there you are" Jack grinned as he walked out into the hall, grinning widely, his hair all dripping wet. "Congratulations" you grinned, hugging him shortly before pulling off, not wanting to get soaked by him. "Thanks" he grinned with his characteristic smile.

"I'm just gonna go get changed then we're gonna go out for a couple of drinks. I can drop you off if you don't wanna go" "Nah, it sounds fun" you assured, meeting his smile as he slipped inside the changingroom again.

--

The club was packed. Sure it was starting to get into evening time but still, pretty early to get to the club in your opinion. Jack had taken you to a McDonald's after whining you were hungry but he had refused to go home so you could change but after downing your meal you were pretty happy regardless.

It was nice in the club, you talked a little amongst his teammates, drank a little until the clock turned to a more decent time where you began drinking for real. The club started getting busier and more and more alcohol went down your throat. Jack was somewhere unknown so you entertained yourself with Ruben. Someone you'd always found ridiculously attractive but you never acted on it, you wouldn't today either but a lil flirting and teasing didn't hurt.

After a little while you excused yourself to the bar, pushing through a lot of bodies to get to the front. You got your drink and turned around with a sigh, leaning against the side of the bar while sipping on it.

"Did someone ditch you here?"

Your eyes flickered up at the voice you somehow remembered it but couldn't place it until you saw that face again, Mason.

You couldn't hide the grin that spread on your face upon seeing him again, grinning lazily at him. "Hello Mason" you smiled

"No one ditched me, I just wanted some more alcohol" you answered, swirling your glass in front of him whilst he hummed.

"What are you doing here?" you questioned, looking over his shoulder to see if any other Chelsea players were there as well but you couldn't recognize anyone.

"Stones told me they were going and I thought why not, it's not too often i'm in manchester" he answered your question. You nodded in understanding, not really clicking it all together.

"So, what did you think of the game?" "Ah really good, good goal too" you hummed, looking into his brown eyes. He looked so good it felt cruel. He had changed into a simple white tee and dark jeans, his hair still visibly dampened but still styled. You let your tongue swipe over your bottom lip whilst keeping eye contact with him seeing his adam-apple bobble as he swallowed.

"Are you drunk?" he questioned making you chuckle "Nah" you grinned, standing up from the leant back position and downing the remainants of your drink before walking past him, grabbing his arm on the way and pulling him out on the floor.

You began dancing in front of his hungry eyes, the alcohol giving you a lot of confidence. He was as tipsy as you were soon joining you by grabbing your hips, looking intently into your eyes as you smirked, grinding into him more and more for every song.

The heat between you was too much, you couldn't miss it and you couldn't miss the way you felt his hardness through his jeans nor the way he did not so subtle ground into your ass every chance he got.

"I would ask you to go home with me but i'm sleeping at a friends" he revealed making you pout your lips in thought. You couldn't take him home to Jack's, not a chance but you couldn't not fuck him either. Your need for him was too much.

Your eyes lit up as you came up with a solution, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the bathroom.

He chuckled as you locked the door to one of them. "Really?" he laughed, "Well if you don't wanna fuck me-"

He shut you up by kissing you. His lips hungrily meet yours in a mess of teeth and tongue. You knew it was gonna be a messy and hurried fuck but it was all you needed right now. His hands roamed your body, squeezing your figure and feeling you up desperately.

Your hands tangled in his hair, tugging at it slightly as he let out small breathy noises at the contact. Your hands traveled under his t-shirt groaning as you felt his abs under your fingertips.

He broke the kiss only to tug his t-shirt over his head, his hands pushing up your own hoodie to grasp at your breasts. He walked you backwards, hoisting you up on the counter, your head leaning against the mirror as he hungrily kissed up your neck and over your jaw. "You're so sexy" he grunted, leaving a trail of kisses down your throat and up to your jaw again, kissing you hungrily.

You were the one who broke the kiss, grasping at his jeans to hurry things up a little. Let's face it, you were in a public bathroom.

"Okay okay" he chuckled, undoing your pants first before chucking them down your legs and letting them pool on the floor.

His hand moved like on instinct to your pussy, rubbing your clit over the flimsy material. You groaned, tilting your head back, closing your eyes in content. Finally getting what you wanted.

"Hm, that feels good?" he hummed, tone almost lingering on mocking. "Mhm" you moaned, looking at him with warning eyes which he just waved off with a chuckle. You were just about to say something when he gripped your underwear, pulling them off and throwing them next to your jeans.

His fingers created path between your fold, going up and down before two of them slid inside of you. You bit your lip to prevent the moan as he slowly started to move them, hooking them slowly and teasingly against your spot.

"Oh fuck" you groaned, breathing heavily against his ear and eyes threatening to close of pleasure.

Your hand made its way to his jeans, unbuttoning the button and pushing your hand down inside, palming his already hard dick through his boxers. He breathed out a heavy breath, eyelids getting heavy at the relief.

You pushed his underwear off as far as necessary and continued to stroke him, finding it satisfactory how he looked and breathed when you did. He however soon found it necessary to stop you before he would be cumming in your hand.

"Okay, okay" he breathed, pushing your hand away from him. He continued to flick his fingers inside of you a few more times before pulling them out. He pushed the digits into his mouth making you moan at the sight.

He pulled his digits out, chuckling at your reaction with gleeful eyes. His fingers softly brushed a couple of hair strands out of your face as his lips met yours again, this time much softer but still hungry and needy.

You lifted your hips slightly, hurrying him up. He got your signal, grabbing your hips while guiding himself to your opening just as eager as you were.

You couldn't help the moan that left your throat as he pushed in slowly. Your head fell back as your eyes fell closed at the stretch.

"Fuck" you breathed, gripping the edge of the counter harshly, your hips moving on their own to ger yourself used to the feeling of him.

He began slowly, easing you both into it. The alcohol making you both careless and needy, just wanting some sloppy club-bathroom sex.

He soon began to go faster, moving your hips to meet his thrusts, his dick hitting all the perfect spots inside of you with the position you were in. The pace getting more and more desperate for every thrust. "Ah fuck Mason" you groaned, trying to keep your eyes open to watch his reaction as he continued to thrust.

His eyes sparkled in the dim light and his mouth was half-open. Small pants coming out whenever he bottomed out inside of you. He watched your body move, watching how his dick repeatably disappeared inside of you, he watched as your breasts moved and how you bit your lip to not let out the loud moans you had on your tongue.

"Yeah? Feel good?" he hummed, looking cocky at your reactions to his actions. You nodded, not having the energy to put him in his place right now. "Yeah?" he pressed making you roll your eyes "Just shut up and fuck me" you grunted not missing the cocky smile he gave you as he picked up his speed further, thrusting harder into you.

The sound of your skin meeting was loud and you were almost scared someone would hear from outside of the bathroom. You tried to keep your moans in, biting your lip and when it became too much you leaned forward, bracing yourself on his shoulder as you bit the skin where his shoulder and neck met. He let out a slight whine at the mark only speeding up his movements.

"I'm close" he grunted, giving you a heads up. You nodded, kissing up his shoulder and neck while you let one of your hands move between you, rubbing tight circles on your clit. You could feel it building in your lower stomach, on the edge of bursting already. Your head felt dizzy and your eyes rolled at the extra stimulation.

"I'm gonna cum" you warned, rutting your hips against him as he groaned, silencing both of you with a kiss, each of you swallowing the others moans as you came down from your highs. You felt almost high, your eyes squeezing close and a lazy smile on your face. You could feel his legs and tummy clench as he came inside of you. Only then did it occur to you that you hadn't used a condom.

Mason seemed to realize the same thing, looking at you and blinking slowly "Did I just cum inside of you?"

You chuckled, leaning your head back against the mirror "It seems like it"

"Oh shit, I'm sorry-"

"I am on the pill, it should be fine" you dismissed, patting his shoulder reassuringly whilst he nodded at you, relief filling his eyes.

He slowly moved to slip out of you resting his forehead on your shoulder while you both tried to regain your breaths. "Maybe we should get out of here" you whispered, letting your lips ghost over his.

He nodded, meeting your eyes with a sweet smile before kissing you slowly, his tongue sweetly intertwining with yours.

When you parted you reached out to grab some paper towels from beside you, cleaning yourself up as he did the same.

He handed you your clothes and you quickly fixed yourself up, untangling your hair with your fingers before you nodded at him.

You stood up from the counter, buttoning your jeans before unlocking the door.

You stopped in your tracks seeing Jack casually leaned back against the wall as if he was waiting for you "Hey, there ya are, I thought you had drunken too much" he grinned

"I-uh" you stuttered, wincing as you felt Mason press into your back, his face snapping up as he saw that you were talking to someone.

Jack's mouth fell open, eyes fleeting between the two of you before he opened his mouth

"Hey! We said no teammates!" he exclaimed, looking at you accusingly.

"He is not your teammate!" You defended looking stroppily at him

"Yes he is!" "What, no he is in Chelsea!" You uttered in confusion. "England y/n, he is in England" Jack spoke calmly, his voice flat as he looked at you.

"Oh fuck"

[purplebass]

I tried to analyze the complicated relationship Holland has with Kell and Lila. Why Kell doesn't want to kill him, why Lila does. The parallels between them. The way Holland and Lila remind each other of their demons the same way Holland reminds of Kell of his. And more. I suck at summarizing, I'm sorry.

Read more if you want to hear me ramble about antari and their complex dynamic, research paper style? haha.

@thevagabondexpress this is the long reply to the post you tagged me on, btw lol

Kell only killed Holland in adsom bc he had to, and in acol Kell risks to die to save Holland when he's put as bait. That's because even if their relationship had always been strained, he didn't want to kill the only other antari (until then), because it would make him more of an outcast and alone. Kell's reasons to spare Holland until he is forced to get rid of him are selfish. It doesn't matter Holland did what he did, Kell would only stop him if he thought it couldn't be helped (which it's what he does in adsom when Holland is compelled).

Holland comes back in acol and Kell sort of sees that as a way for Holland to have another chance. He isn't condoning what he did, because it can't be erased. He is trying to see things from Holland's perspective: Kell thinks if the roles had been switched, he would've done the same things to survive. To some extent, Kell also believed that it was a worse punishment for Holland to atone for his sins for the rest of his life. That's a meaningful punishment, and one he himself has been subjected for the whole of agos by the king. Kell surely doesn't shy away from ending lives, if necessary, but it's something he'd rather not do.

Which, in turn, is something Lila endorses. Lila thinks that the ends justify the means. And when someone hurts her or the people she cares about, hurting those who hurt her is her way to feel satisfied. An eye for an eye. Lila kills for selfish reasons, because she relishes in the high she gets when she kills. Despite what one may think, Lila is capable of showing mercy and think rationally. She doesn't just kill anyone. Those who don't hurt her are spared (think of Stasion Elsor. She could have killed him, Alucard's warning not to do it notwithstanding).

Lila tries to get rid of Holland several times in acol, but when she locks herself in the cell with him, she leaves her weapons outside, which means that she didn't want to truly kill him. Or she bet on herself that she could've killed him with her bare hands and magic, who knows. What is certain is that she wanted to unleash her rage and guilt and grief over Barron's death. Her rage wasn't just pointed at Holland but also at herself.

Early on, Holland told Kell that it was Lila's fault that Barron had died. He just did what he had to do, and since Lila stayed there, she lead him to Barron and she is an accomplice in his death. And this Lila also thinks about and is reminded of by Holland, and it sits heavy on her heart and she blames herself. So that's why Lila wants to get rid of Holland quickly: that's her way to cope with her grief and she deludes herself that by killing Holland, she will feel better about her guilt too and that she'd avenge Barron (which she also knows won't make her feel better but that's her way to deal with loss).

Holland is the only one who, throughout the end of acol, has the guts to tell to Lila's face that her violence against him is useless and that she, like him, has killed people for sport and she is guilty. Holland forces her to face her demons and Lila doesn't know that she is also one of the demons from his past. One of the hundreds who've wanted to kill him in his London ever since he was a child.

Holland also believes in the end justifies the means, but in his case, not for his own good but for his London as a whole. For the greater good. This is also selfishness. To Holland, if the sacrifice of one can benefit the majority of the people in WL, it has to be done. If he has to die for WL to rise and shine, then so be it. It is worth it. He also doesn't kill if it isn't necessary, as he tells Vortalis in one of the flashbacks (in this, he is like Kell).

This is the opposite of what Lila believes. To Lila, if the single she cares about has to sacrifice themselves for the greater good, say, to save a city, (we know Kell would do this too), she doesn't give a damn if everyone else perishes. She would rather live in a world where only she and the ones she cares about exist, rather than live in a world where everyone she loves is dead. In fact, it is no wonder Holland takes the brunt of their battle against Osaron in the end, and Kell takes it a little too (because they are also foil characters and Kell often has a softer - but not necessarily sweeter - taste of what Holland goes/went through).

Which leads to the last point. I talked about Kell's compassion towards Holland, and Lila's mercy towards those who didn't directly hurt her and her loved ones. Holland shows mercy not just to Kell (who actually killed him in adsom and took away his chance to kill the Dane twins, which is something Holland is still angry about) but also towards Lila when she is hurt in Rosenal. She is the character that among the group is the most undeserving of his sympathy: had the roles been switched, would Lila have showed the same mercy to Holland? I am not sure. Part of me thinks Holland saved Lila so the reader would see he is kind despite it all (just like Kell is) also because of Kell himself. The people Holland loved all died and he couldn't save them. Holland doesn't love Lila, but Kell does, and Holland sees himself in Kell. Kell is what he would have been had he not being born in WL. He doesn't want Kell to suffer the same fate he did. In a way, this is both mercy and love.

[communistkenobi]

im an undergrad student who was thinking about specializing in studying fascist movements in North America for my masters and ive really enjoyed reading your book commentary - you connect things that I'm not always aware of in ways that are really comprehensive and appreciate

Do you know of any researchers who are moving things on the topic right now (most of the books ive read are around 20+ years old, unfortunately)?

(sorry if any of this is unclear/grammatically incorrect/weirdly worded - I'm super sick rn)

thank you! I'm really glad to hear that :)

For contemporary writing, I'm currently working through some of Alberto Toscano's work - he has a really interesting article from 2021 on fascism from a Black radical/Marxist perspective where he summarizes various historical analyses of fascism from Black (particularly US) thinkers and activists. One thing I especially appreciate is that he complicates Aime Cesaire's formulation of fascism (i.e., "european colonialism come home") as incomplete when applied to settler colonial contexts, especially the United States - one of Cesaire's articulations of fascism is that (to paraphrase) "one fine day, the prisons begin to fill up, the Gestapo gets busy" and so on, and Toscano, working through Angela Davis and George Jackson, responds with (again I'm paraphrasing) "the prisons are already full! The Gestapo is already here!" etc. Toscano also has a new book that just came out in 2023 called Late Fascism, which explicitly addresses the current moment. I only have a physical copy of that so I can't share a pdf unfortunately, and I still need to get around to reading it lol.

These are also a couple random articles I found insightful:

Carnut (2022). Marxist Critical Systematic Review on Neo-Fascism and International Capital: Diffuse Networks, Capitalist Decadence and Culture War - does what it says on the tin

Daggett (2018). Petro-masculinity: Fossil Fuels and Authoritarian Desire - talks about car culture as a site of modern reactionary political movements, links climate denialism with (proto-)fascist movements

Parmigiani (2021). Magic and politics: Conspirituality and COVID-19 - this one does not mention fascism explicitly, but imo the intersection between new age spirituality, anti-vaccine sentiment, and qanon/q-adjacent conspiracies are pretty important to understanding contemporary fascist social movements, so I'd still recommend reading this

Finally, this isn't an article but I found this recorded lecture about the history of Qanon pretty interesting. I don't think the author gives particularly insightful answers on how to solve the problem of far right conspiracies in the Q&A portion but I found it to be a helpful summary

Otherwise I've been focusing a lot on decolonial scholarship more so than fascist scholarship - this is again guided by Cesaire's argument that Europe/The West broadly is inherently fascist. These works aren't contemporary, but you can look at this post for some of the readings I linked on decolonial scholarship if you want to go that route. Those are serving me more for theoretical frameworks to guide contemporary analysis, not analysis of contemporary events directly

also idk if I need to put this disclaimer, but just in case this leaves my blog: this isn't a full throated defense of/apology for everything in these articles, I'm not claiming they're sufficient to understanding the present moment, these are just some of the things I've been reading recently and have found helpful in some way or another. a lot of contemporary work I have read (much of which isn't linked here because I don't think its very good/do not have it on hand) focuses on populism and authoritarianism as central analytical terminology, which i think does a lot of work to exceptionalize and mystify fascism as a historical and political process/project originating from European colonialism & Western imperialism, but these terms are endemic to the field so you have to contend with them no matter what

good luck with your studies!

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

kenny for the ask meme 🧡

Fantastic. Let's get the most important one out of the way🧡🧡 The silliest little booger🫶🫶🫶

Favorite thing about them:

Two things; his unwavering kindness and his immortality.

I love how kind and sweet and charitable he has remained despite, or maybe because of, all the horrors that he's been through. He could've become a cynical asshole and I wouldn't blame him, but instead he dedicated his time caring for his sister, become a symbol of hope for South Park and become a philanthropist once he became rich enough to afford it.

His immortality is just a dope fucking concept and I have so many different AUs and stories in progress where it's the centered topic. It just fascinates me i love it

Least favorite thing about them:

Literally nothing. I love all his ugly ass booger attributes. Even his stupid ass hair dryer side profile. Maybe I hate that he doesn't have enough episodes where he's the main character

Favorite Line:

"Yeah, people don't even care if shit's dumped everywhere. Everyone just loves technology."

"Sometimes, people do stupid things. Sometimes they don't realize what should have come first. Until it's too late."

(Sorry I couldn't pick just one. He's my favorite little guy.)

BrOTP:

Kenny & Kyle >:))) their friendship is SO unexplored even though they have so much canon potential. The fact that Kenny went to Kyle to get his help as Mysterion "because I think you are the smartest kid in class" is so telling for how much he respects Kyle. Then also that Kyle is the one to initiate Kenny's cheesing intervention in the major boobage episode speaks for how Kyle cares for him. And the "I can't die" "It's not pretty cool, Kyle, it fucking hurts!" conversation is so juicy and full of interesting conflict potential. Maybe that's why K2 are the dynamic that receives arguably the most attention in my fic🫶

Also Kenny & Tweek. SO MUCH untapped potential in that dynamic.

And Kenny & Cartman!!! They're such interesting foils in every way, the "fat ugly mean kid and the detached loner poor kid", both the poorest kids at their schools and both with a fascinating dynamic with Butters. They're best friends and rivals, they're each other's biggest haters and somehow have a soft spot for each other too.

OTP:

Kenny and Butters. I'm not gonna elaborate because I'd be sitting here all day but if I could summarize it I'd point you to Mysterion vs Chaos, the fact that Paladin Butters had a canon crush on princess Kenny in TSOT, their canon sugar daddy/baby dynamic in post covid when Butters literally scammed everyone else in his path, and the fact that I love tragic characters finding joy and wonder in each other.

nOTP:

Can't really say any bc Kenny has interesting dynamics with everyone lol but if I have to name popular romantic ships that I just don't see I'd name Crenny and Stenny shjshsk SORRY

Random Headcanon:

He loves food and eats FAST like a starving animal (licking his fingers afterwards and everything) he's not exactly the kid your mom would love for his dinner table manners

Unpopular Opinion:

He isn't suave or handsome. IRKS me when he's a big ladies' man in fics. He's stinky and not an overly smooth flirt; any attention he gets from girls is because he's genuinely kind and sweet

Song I associate with them:

Favorite Picture of Them:

He's such a wannabe mysterious little fucker

[phanfictioncatalogue]

DanAndPhilCrafts 2024 Masterlist

awake and unafraid, asleep or dead? (ao3) - vvuptic

Summary: Phil wants to take it all back. But he can't.

Or, the inner workings of Phil's mind during the filming of Potato Prints.

title: famous last words by my chemical romance

Conversations of Cannibals (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Inspired by the new DanAndPhilCRAFTS video - some conversations about cannibalism between Dan and Phil.

creativity is nothing without friendship (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Dan has made Phil a promise and he is eager to prove his devotion. He will carve out Phil's heart and sacrifice him.

But he is also going to make sure that he comes back.

Following canon of DanAndPhilCRAFTS - Slime

do it without hesitation (ao3) - Wraithpinned

Summary: While Phil’s entire adult life was devoted to Him, Dan’s entire adult life was devoted to Phil.

--

Dan grapples with what Phil is asking him to do

euphoric in some strange delight (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: “Your turn,” says Phil, in a part they’ll have to cut out. “What do you mean?”

Phil hands Dan the blade, silver and sharp and bought in a neat set along with one for bread, one for vegetables, one for fish. Phil wouldn’t know this.

“I don’t want it to be me this time.”

finding beauty in the dissonance (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan ripping out Phil's heart for a santanic ritual sorry this is really short idk how to summarize it lol

Based off of DanAndPhilCRAFTS - Slime

UNEDITED CHAOS

hangman (answer me now) (ao3) - queerofcups

Summary: How did you get used to the haunting?

Hell's Waiting Room (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Based on the 1733rd danandphilCRAFTS video.

i do not fear bloodshed (if the slayer is you) (ao3) - emsinof

Summary: a poem inspired by the events that took place in the most recent danandphilcrafts video.

Just the Beginning (ao3) - NotAHappyPancake

Summary: Once upon a time, there were these two guys called Dan and Phil, who met on the internet and created this entire world. And now it's time to end it. It's time to start over.

make a pact to each other (got when no one's around) (ao3) - philsbisexuallion (bisexual_lightning)

Summary: There's not much time left. He has to finish what he— no, what they started. That’s why they came to this place.

Never Be Safe in Crafting! (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: It happened again, but Phil can fix it, because Phil can fix everything. Dan just needs to follow the directions.

ominous (ao3) - TsingaDark

Summary: It starts on a Sunday, of all things. Nothing should start on a Sunday, frankly; it’s the one day where one is allowed to fully relax and lie around the whole day. Sunday is not a day to start new projects or change your life, it’s a day of peace and calm. Therefore, Phil notices much quicker than he usually would have that something is wrong.

Sacrifice (painted in the red from our hearts) (ao3) - Lesbianphan

Summary: "There's no fear in my lover's eyes, only trust in Him. Trust in me. I know what I must do: the ultimate sacrifice for Him. I must give Him what I hold most dear, the one thing I'd never part from. I must hold Philip's heart in my hands and offer Him what my lover willingly gave to me all these years ago.

If I love Him enough, my lover will come back to me. Reborn."

a.k.a the dark and raw 'DanandPhilCRAFTS - Slime' fic I was always meant to write.

surely the second coming is at hand (ao3) - ivylakes

Summary: From darkness they came, and to darkness they must return. And Dan is ready.

Or, a rewrite of the final events in DanAndPhilCRAFTS - Slime, as well as an analysis of Dan's internality during those moments.

That Deathless Death (ao3) - trancelover99

Summary: Date: April 1st, 2024. Time: midnight. Dan and Phil have returned to an abandoned cabin to carry out the one last ritual that will keep this demon away forever. But it comes with a price: Phil's heart and soul. With the right words, Dan can hopefully revive him after Phil's sacrifice, but he has other plans beyond that. Will he succeed?

The Craft Fic (ao3) - doctorhowlter

Summary: Dan is in lounge watching the reactions to DanAndPhilCRAFTS when Phil ask him if he wants to celebrate their April fools joke succes. But Phil's definition of celebrating doesn't seem to be that same as Dan's and things doesn't turn out as planned.

The Heart Fic (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Dan let himself fall into a trance, no longer thinking and instead just doing. Dan reached into the wound in Phil’s chest and wrapped his hand around his heart. Phil was already dead, yet the inside of his chest was still warm. Dan swore he could still feel Phil’s heart beat faintly as he began to pull the mass of muscle and blood out of his chest.

Before he had pulled all the way out, Dan paused and then slowly pushed his hand back into the wound. Warm. Wet. Beautiful.

Inspired by DanAndPhilCRAFTS - Slime

The Sacrifice (ao3) - Mysticallykai

Summary: DanandPhilCrafts is back again, with a lot to say and even more to do. We all saw the video, but what happened when the camera wasn't rolling? What was edited out? What if what we all thought was an April Fools prank, was actually very real?

to die by your side (is such a heavenly way to die) (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Despite no words being exchanged, they both know how the other is feeling, and that they are alike in their preparedness for what is about to happen. They understand each other so well that they can work in perfect tandem without issue. A connection so uniquely fundamental that it goes beyond communication as it is understood by the rest of the world. Something private, just for them—and soon, for Him.

you believe me like a god (i destroy you like i am) (ao3) - bunnyslipper

Summary: Tears stream down Dan’s face, mingling with the deep crimson of Phil’s blood, and Phil hates him. He hates that he loves him so deeply, enough to forgive him for tearing them apart like this.

[lara-cairncross]

Hi I did not expect to be hit with this much nostalgia for pixie hollow fairies lol

The way you draw them is so pretty!?!?!?!?! I love their designs so much

I'm considering drawing fanart now, especially since I saw the suggestion of drawing my personal OCs in your fairy au, and I realized.... I have an oc. That I created recently. Like so recently that I haven't even named her yet. And she's already kinda fairy-like??? She's the result of a one-night stand between Leo and a random bird yokai who decided to dump the egg on Leo (it's the accidental baby acquisition trope except its more like you-really-should-have-expected-this-leo baby acquisition XD)

Don't worry though, she's not bird-like enough to want to eat your fairy boys if she met them. She's basically just a feathered turtle who loves shiny things, and I haven't even finalized her design but now I wanna draw her as a fairy haha. I do know her feathers are blue-purple-pink-ish with red streaks, so her colour scheme matches Fairy Leo haha

Hmmmm maybe I should actually put a question here uhh....

You keep hinting at plot points but you've also said you don't plan on making this a comic, so are we ever going to find out what the heck is going on???

And I know the idea of making a whole entire comic can seem overwhelming, but have you considered viewing it as just doodling and practicing? For my own au comic I only have one part drawn so far and it is the first part, but I'm planning to just draw any part of the story at any point in time, just depending on what I feel like. Cuz no one says you have to do it the "normal" way, right? And I like to think of drawing the comic pages as practicing new skills, like learning how to do page layouts and composition better. Aka focus on the journey and not the end goal.

Whoo, that got kinda long and I only really asked one question, but based on previous asks you've answered I have a feeling you don't mind ;)

OK that was entirely just stream of thought after going through the whole au tag (there are more thoughts but most are incoherent and overlapping so this is what i managed to pick out of my brain), but to summarize: I love your fairy au and the boys are gonna be living in my head now, along with every other version of the turtles that I love <3 <3 <3

I'm glad to hear you're liking the fairy au!! I had a ton of fun coming up with their designs :D

I do actually plan on making this into a comic of sorts! I dunno if I could ever make, like, a long-form webcomic or anything like that-- but I'm definitely planning on doing at *least* a few mini-comics to elaborate on the story! And maybe build my way up to something longer and more fulfilled :D As of now, I'm trying to experiment with different comic styles on my own time so I can try and find something that's quick and easy, but still looks decent. I like the idea of treating it as essentially a glorified doodle page. Honestly, as soon as I try to take any of my stories too seriously, I burn out fast-- so I'm trying to stay pretty chill about this one and just making content whenever I feel like it lol

Yup, I'm totally cool with everyone drawing their OCs as fairies if they want to! It's not like I own the idea or anything lmao. The only caveat is that I have jurisdiction over whether or not something is canon to my particular au. Leo and the rest of the boys are still canonically kids/teenagers to me, and I've been writing/drawing them as kids this entire time, so I won't be including anything/anyone related to one of them having a "one night stand" with somebody. I can't really police what anyone else draws though, so have fun :D

Sorry about these little guys buzzing around in your brain ❤️💜🧡🩵

[quiet-nocturne]

heyy!! 💞 i have some asks for you ✨

What's your favourite line/paragraph you've written?

Most challenging thing about the event?

hey there emma! thank you for the ask! 💖 and thank you so much for all your hard work on this wonderful event; it's so greatly appreciated. 💕

favorite line/paragraph: ooof it's so hard to pick a favorite of anything in this fic, haha. I'd say one of my favorites is this (which is definitely longer than a line/paragraph, but I feel like it summarizes riza's headspace throughout much of the fic quite well), from chapter 9, which was one of my favorite chapters to write:

"I'm sorry." He sighed heavily. "I'm just... concerned. Sometimes it comes out as anger." "I know. I'm sorry, too. I'm being unfairly defensive." Riza whispered to his dark shadow in the car. "Why?" He asked; his tone sounded heart-wrenchingly defeated. "Because I feel... stupid, and useless. It won't heal. It started to affect my aim with a gun, until I began wearing the brace." She admitted, ashamed. "How can I fix a region that I helped destroy when I can't even fix my own damn body?"

this is after they have a disagreement, so it's a pretty intense moment. riza's arm from when envy cut her hasn't healed properly (the muscle, specifically - the wound itself has healed), and it's basically a manifestation of her mental health. roy only finds out about it here, and, yeah - lots of angst. but this chapter also signifies a shift in their relationship as well, so it's a significant chapter.

edit: oops, almost forgot the most challenging thing! so besides what I've already said (time limit, editing), I would say I worried a lot about accurately portraying riza's emotions in this fic. Some of it is quite heavy and that is not something I often write. so sometimes I think that led to me over-editing/over-analyzing my writing lol. 🙃

[userarmand]

so since you watched Portofino and I'm currently going through season 2 (I'm on episode 3) (please don't ask why, the pull that man has on me is truly unfathomable, my dick has led me places etc etc ANYWAY) and I need to talk to someone about it bc I feel like I'm going a bit insane, so I thought I could ask your thoughts on this.

so like, season 1 wasn't like... good... right? like we're all aware of that and I'm fully aware the entire series is built on what I'm gonna call at best shoddily constructed narrative cohesion and probably can't be watched without a huge amount of suspension of disbelief, but I simply can't believe they let this insane mess of a storyline just go to production like that. WHY are these people letting a pacifist doctor join in on the assassination??? WHY is Gianluca suddenly so gungho about Nish either joining in his resistance fight OR straight up leaving him for Lucian??? WHAT IS HAPPENING in that goddamn group of resistance fighters??? IS it a group or are those just four guys who don't have anything better to do??? WHY IS THE WEAPON OF CHOICE A HAND GRENADE?? again WHY ARE WE LETTING THE PACIFIST BE PART OF THIS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, VIOLENT SITUATION?? you don't bring someone to the shooting range unless you KNOW he can pull the trigger!! he's a DOCTOR, he's the guy that stays behind so that when you guys come back from trying to beat up fascist there is someone there who knows how to patch you up!!!

and worse than all of that!!! is that I can't believe they couldn't come up with something better to put Nish out of commission than this bullshit bit of conflict that they literally fabricated out of thin air!!!

also, there is one glaring continuity error during the first scene in Turin where Nish and Gian have their 'fight' about the letter, when Nish comes in from the balcony where he wears his glasses on the balcony and then three seconds later they're nowhere to be seen. which isn't the worst thing in the world, but MAN if that doesn't summarize how invested they were in this goddamn storyline, I don't know what does.

okay, sorry for that, I'm a bit tipsy, anyway: man this shit sucks, but the worst part of all of it is truly that there are like... TRACES of a reasonably interesting story scattered across the show, but every time I think they're getting close to actually properly engaging with one of them they do a hard left and someone commits a micro aggression.

jesus fuck, this show is awful. that said I AM writing a fix it fic, which is less fix-it and more 'let's try and make this less stupid'-fic

anyway sorry for this, I... am going back to watching...

gianluca definitely didn't know what he was doing but idk if that was intentional on the writer’s part or not. his little anarchist faction was very much in its infancy considering it was literally just him, his two mates, and his extremely reluctant boyfriend. gian knew that nish's heart wasn't it, knew he didn't like conflict, literally said that's why he loved him, but basically pouted about it until nish agreed to join, at no point acknowledging the added danger nish was in as an indian national. neat.

so here we are with gian and his merry band of mugs who instead of digesting any actual communist or socialist theory, decide that blowing up some rando fascist would make any sort of difference in mussolini’s italy. nish had to be directly involved in the grenade shit so he'd get injured which would put him back in lucian’s orbit and reconnect him to the 'main' plot in portofino. the show wasn't wiling to delve fully into what exactly gian and the resistance movement were trying to achieve outside of individual terrorism so that storyline didn't really result in anything beyond establishing that fascism = bad, which, yeah we know :/

also i don't disagree that they were half-assing things but regarding the continuity of nish's glasses: he takes them off when the camera's on gian lol u can see them in his hand

[ptn-imagines]

as hcs, what are suspect r’s reactions to f!chief’s fashion? if possible, could you also include the upcoming cny event’s attire (f!chief looks so handsome, 10/10 cutie pie <3)?? no worries if not, i’m technically at ch11, and chief already has like five skins (tho rip me i’m at medium bfl + f2p only :/)

follow up on r’s reactions to chief (not sure if i could ask both together so i split it just in case <3): as hcs, what would f!chief’s thoughts be about her Wife’s- i mean suspect r’s attires? i know she technically already saw her in the prologue (and later in the iconic wet dream- i mean her surprise appearance in ch6) but lmao she just woke up, groggy and totally clueless and first thing she sees is a half revealed chest? and what about the dress and cute hat r wears in the trailer and the crimebrand? also do NOT ask me how long i stared at creation i’m gobbling up every suspect r crumb (oh ho ho hooo i spy expensive gloves and an even more expensive purse looks like a certain suspect is super rich but what peek? what experiment?? (ok that one is probably connected to paradeisos) whAT SECRET??? WHAT PROMISE???????) ALSO i’m sorry for rambling a bit more but before r woke her wife- i mean f!chief did r seriously change her dress to a shirt and unbuttoned the top five buttons and rolled up her sleeves and made sure her skirt shows her fine booty perfectly even if chief can’t even see or feel it fhsadhakjdhakj truly no one does it like suspect r pls never change ma’am

Hi anon! The deluge of Suspect R asks startled the shit out of me but it's okay because I love her. I decided to combine these two requests because otherwise the one about Chief reacting to Suspect R's fashion would've been reaaaaally short. I hope that we see more of Suspect R in act two of the story, I'm begging for crumbs... It's been over an in-game year since we saw her! And I'm pretty sure it's also been around that much time irl too. Aisno is edging us. I need to know what she knows about us! She acts way too much like our ex-wife! Clearly she knows us and she speaks of us fondly, who were we to her?!

Suspect R and F!Chief reacting to each other's fashion

The Bureau uniform is what Suspect R is used to, of course. She doesn't think much of it, beyond what she thinks of Chief herself: that she's absolutely stunning no matter what she wears. R longs to run her fingers through Chief's hair… and of course, she would've gotten Chief some clothes more to her taste if she'd managed to scoop her up and whisk her away. She also finds the jacket cute – and she has no room to talk about wearing your jacket properly. She thinks it's a way in which they match, which she likes.

The Stalker attire just adds a hood and cloak, but R thinks Chief wears it extremely well. If she could, she'd love to tease about how she looks like a “true Syndican” now.

R is more enamored by the story behind the Passage of Time attire than the outfit itself. She thinks the colors and patterns look nice on the Chief, but what truly makes it shine to her is Chief's interactions with OwO. She also thinks the braid looks very nice. Overall, it's a bit of a different look to what she's used to from the Chief, but she likes it anyway.

She thinks the Traveler attire is adorable. She honestly can't pick a favorite part about it because her eyes are too busy roaming everywhere, though she definitely appreciates the good view of Chief's legs. This is a strong competitor for her favorite outfit, because she thinks it brings out Chief's heroic spirit and kind heart by the vibes of it, which is by far her favorite aspect of the Chief.

Her reaction to Nightfall Soiree can be summarized as “lol cute.” She prefers seeing Chief in blue – not that she's biased or anything – but she admits the red is a good look on Chief. It's bolder than what is standard for the Chief, and she thinks her fluffy curls look adorable. It's an easy contender for her top three.

Her thoughts on the upcoming attire is that she wants to pull on Chief's ponyta– ahem. She's a big fan of the subtle touches of red against the black and white. While her bias is definitely Chief in dresses, she's a big fan of looks like these as well – she prefers it to Passage of Time, as far as celebrating the Chinese New Year goes. Once again, she feels like this outfit brings out her beloved Chief's heroic spirit.

As for Chief…

When you awaken with amnesia, you don't expect your first sight to be… anything at all, really. But if Chief did have expectations, Suspect R and her appearance would've been low on the list.

It actually took a moment for Chief to take note of R's fashion, held spellbound by the striking glow of her eyes – but when she did tear her gaze away, her heart did a flip in her chest and she had to swallow as her mouth suddenly felt drier than a desert.

R was stunning, simply stunning. Her blonde hair cascading over perfect shoulders, slender fingers tracing over Chief's cheek, breath hot on her face…

Oh, and it didn't help that her top, uh… left little to the imagination. A physical one was not the only awakening Chief went through in that moment; if Nightingale hadn't showed up, Suspect R would've probably succeeded in whisking her away.

When Chief finally gets to see R's alternate outfit, she'll be stunned as always. It's not something she'd ever imagine R wearing, but she can't deny that R looks amazing – and white has always been a good color on her.

Still, Chief prefers Rebecca's more casual outfit – if you can call it that. Her fancier outfit feels like it loses some of R's spirit, the spark that draws Chief to her in the first place – making her look like any other rich Eastside (or Paradeisos…?) lady.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my best friend I basically want to spend the rest of my life with her?

(This is long, I'm sorry, I'm incapable of shortly summarizing things)

Ok. So. I (26NB/FTM) am not in love with my best friend (25F), I'm ace and either aro or demiromantic (honestly not sure anymore). But I do love her as much as I can love anyone, probably. To the extent that I would want to be in a committed relationship (qpr I guess) with her and genuinely want to spend the rest of my life with her.

The thing is, she's neither aro nor ace and has only recently (last year) started overcoming fears and anxiety enough that she's gone on dates and wants to try having a relationship. It wasn't easy for her to get to this point and her anxiety is still a major thing she deals with, especially now trying to have a relationship. I know she doesn't love me romantically (not that I would particularly want her to) bc I'm firmly in the friend category and she's said that she can't fall in love with friends (though, again, I don't… want her to be in love me? Since I'm not in love with her either).

I want her to have these experiences. We're both still young and while I just don't need or want anything in that regard, I know it's different for her and in a way it's her finally being able to be herself, live for herself and do what she wants (she had a rough childhood and was basically the one raising her little brother). So, I really do want her to have these experiences and I'm not really jealous either bc I know I'm still more important to her ("bros before hoes" and all that, even if the hoes are guys lol). Though I have to admit it's recently been getting harder being genuinely happy for her when things go well with dates and I suppose I'm a little worried how things will be a few years down the line.

But we're very close. We've been friends for 8 years and best friends for almost as long. We tell each other everything. She's the most important person in my life and I'm the most important person in hers. We get mistaken for a couple constantly, at this point I'm pretty sure everyone in our families has at some point thought we're together. My mum basically treats her like a daughter; she's spent the last 3 Christmases with my family. Besides her brother, I'm the only person she truly cares about who she doesn't get anxious about. The reason I'm going to be moving back home after uni is because she still lives in the area; if she lived somewhere else I'd move there (that's not me being one-sidedly codependent btw, she would absolutely do the same). The jokes about how we need to die at the same time bc neither of us would want to live on alone are really only partly jokes.

Now, here's (finally) where I might be an asshole: When we were in school our friend group consisted of four guys, me and her. All the guys had a crush on her, though some she only found out about later. My best friend, at the time, identified as a lesbian (it's bi probably now). The guys knew that. Now this one guy she only found out about last year at a class reunion (I wasn't there) and he was being all weird about how he'd seen all the times they went to the movies together as dates etc. She thought they were jokingly calling those 'dates', we all did. Again, he knew she identified as gay and never actually said anything about being in love with her. He was also giving off incel-y vibes when she talked with him at the class reunion, so there's that.

We talked about that and well, I kinda admitted that there'd been a moment yeaaaaars ago (like 5?6?) where I felt myself fall in love with her and mentally went 'nope, nope, nope, not doing that (falling in love my best friend) again' and then… it didn't happen. Don't know how that worked. Either way, she made me promise if I ever did actually fall in love with her, that I would tell her. We were laughing about it but I know she was serious about that.

I don't plan on telling her though. I meaaaan I'm not in love with her, technically, which yes, I know, she would probably mean this too. But I know that, at least at this point in time, she doesn't want the same things I want and I want her to have these experiences of dating guys and being in a (allo) relationship etc. I don't want our relationship right now to change either and I know she would try to be considerate and I don't need or want that. I don't want her to overthink what she can or can't tell me, I don't mind hearing her talk about the guys she's dating and I want her to still come to me with everything. I know how she works, I've been basically managing her anxiety for years (genuinely do not mind that before anyone comes talking to me about boundaries) and I know I'm one of the few people in her life who try to let her come to her own conclusions/decisions instead of telling her what they think is right and/or what she should do (she's very easily influenced unfortunately and while I do tell her my opinions if she asks for them, I always try to let her come to her own conclusions first). I don't want her to lose all that. I don't want her to suddenly be anxious about me either, that is genuinely the last thing I would ever want.

TLDR: My best friend made me promise her that I would tell her if I fell in love with her, which I'm technically not, but I do want to spend the rest of my life with her & would want to be in a (queerplatonic) committed relationship with her. I don't want to tell her bc I know it's not what she wants, at least right now, and I want her to make her own experiences and I don't want our relationship to change with this.

AITA for not telling her I would want to be in a (queerplatonic) relationship with her?

What are these acronyms?

[ghost-of-a-system]

Sorry if this is weird to ask, im a questioning system but ive been having trouble finding ways to understand myself & about others in my possible system, and i also have aphantasia, do you have any advice? (/notpushing)

not a weird question whatsoever! this may be lengthy so i am going to add one of those "keep reading" things to prevent a whole novel on someone's feed, lol. hopefully it works.

trying to determine whether or not you're a system can be a very long, slow, and frustrating process. for us it took years, and we are still learning new things all of the time, it seems. i don't know if you mean to also ask for advice on determining that, so i'll leave it out, but feel free to reach out again if that was something you were hoping for too.

because of that slow process, it's unfortunately not so easy to try to find out what works for you, especially when you have aphantasia, and, i assume, no vivid-interactive inner world, like other systems. (since we can't exactly just walk around and interact with everyone like we, i assume, could there. /lh) it really is just a process of trial-and-error, trying things and seeing what works, and what doesn't.

we have personally found that we learn best about ourselves and each other through fronting. it is a little broad, but, when we have no inner world or "place to go" when we aren't fronting, we only really have the ability to connect to and explore ourselves when we are fronting. the same goes for learning about others in our system. we personally have OSDD-1b, and do not experience "blackouts" or memory gaps like individuals with, say, DID, would. we have a fairly consistent train of memory, although events do get kind of fuzzy after they happen (within hours). because of that fuzziness, it's not always easy to just remember things about whoever was here once they're gone.

we personally like to use Simply Plural (the app, but it has a website too). it's an app for systems to log who's fronting and make "profiles" for each headmate/alter. the app is handy for many reasons but we personally enjoy how it lets you add "custom fields" such as names, likes, dislikes, etc. virtually whatever you want, hence the "custom". this allows us to be able to list things about ourselves on our personal profiles, that both us and others can look at or reference later. if something like that isn't an option, old-fashioned journaling could always work just as well for logging information about yourself. we just personally find Simply Plural more easy since we carry our phone basically everywhere lol

like all things, that can be tricky, especially for headmates/alters who do not front often, or at all. we have had alters like that in the past, ones who practically never fronted. unfortunately, we were sort of just left in the dark about them, or never even learned their names. we only ever knew they existed for the few moments they seemed to pop in. it can also be tricky if you do have blackouts/memory gaps, or if you have alters who just don't want to log information about themselves, even if it's private. we unfortunately don't have much advice for that, since the first is something we don't have experience with and the second is sort of a just, "can't really force them to do what they don't want to, i guess", unless you co-front with them or are able to learn enough about them to do it yourself.

sorry for the long post. it's easier for us to add details to get our point across rather than summarizing. hopefully it made some sense.

[alifeasvivid]

Hello I recently read your headcanon about Hetalia's interpretation of American Independence just being Alfred's fantasies and I am so curious about what Arthur and Alfred's relationship is in this reality where Arthur never cared and Alfred is totally aware of that - is Arthur still in love with Alfred? Would Alfred trust those feelings? I am in AGONY

Hi! good questions! And this gets a little long so it gets a "read more" I implore you to please read it very carefully because, for better or worse, I've been developing these thoughts since 2009 and I can only try to summarize them here.

So my headcanon is that my headcanon IS canon but from the perspective of "what actually happened". All we really ever see about the American War for Independence is very distinctly ONLY Alfred's point of view in the storage closet strips/arc. We never really see Arthur's point of view, nor anyone else's (to my knowledge. I've been around so long it's possible I've missed something >.> LOL)

The problem with that is the way this period in history is taught in American public schools is basically all propaganda, which is something I actually learned because of Hetalia and it was very eye opening for me. A lot of people who didn't like usukus would sneeringly say that Great Britain didn't even care about the 13 colonies, that they weren't even that important, etc etc. (I've mentioned this a few times on my blog, I'll see if can dig any of them up at some point LOL) So I started digging into it and they were... somewhat correct. The colonies that would eventually form the US were not the most important nor most financially lucrative for Britain and Parliament had to oppose the rebels *mainly* to prove to the other colonies that rebellions would not go unopposed.

And the problem with all THAT is that Hima seems to have only ever absorbed that propaganda. What happens in the storage closet arc is so out of line with what actually happened IRL that I like to speculate that this story is what America tells himself.

This follows from my headcanon that America has been in love with England (in some form) since the very beginning of his existence. But England didn't see him that way at all. He loved America as a little child in a kind of selfish way that he knew America was always across the sea, always happy to see him when no one else was. IMO, part of America's desire to become independent was to show England that he was grown up, that he wasn't a kid anymore, that he could be England's partner/lover, but England was still fixated on this idea of the smiling sunshine little boy across the sea and this blinded him to what was really going on.

Side note: I have a whole bunch of adjacent headcanons that England felt so betrayed by the America's rebellion because he *thought* he gave America the world, gave him protection and care, things that he himself did not have as a child and so America was being horrendously ungrateful. And I also have some other relevant headcanons about how America is more like the Eve to England's Adam, which I also think is more in line with actual history: England tore out a piece of himself and flung it across the ocean where it grew into his own soulmate. I have so many posts about this because I think it's so deeply romantic and I love it, but I can't seem to find rn I'm sorry T_T...

Okay continuing on... so my theory is that what we see in the Hetalia canon aka the storage closet stuff is America's fantasy, mainly in a situation where he still believes his love is unrequited. He wanted England's attention so badly, but the reality is that part of the reason Britain lost the war IRL is because their resources/military were stretched waaaaay too thin. They didn't have the troops available to successfully oppose the rebels and Parliament deemed that other conflicts/locations were more worth committing to, mainly for financial reasons. So England wouldn't have been there, his priorities would have been somewhere else, it's not that he didn't care. I also think that whatever Parliament thought, England, as in Arthur, cared a LOT and he was so angry and hurt that he didn't want to face Alfred and that Alfred's betrayal (in his mind) is part of what drove him into high gear as far as imperialism is concerned: "Fine, if no one will love me, then they'll all fear me"

America wanted England to be there at the end of the revolution, to show that he did care, that America mattered to him, that it mattered to him that America was leaving, so he came up with this fantasy (which is actually kind of in line with how the founding of the US became so mythologized, IMO), but in my headcanon, what we see in the actual canon exists only in his mind, the rest of actual canon is still the same, as in, England and America reconciled and became good friends during and after WWII and that's when their relationship gets really repaired... America feels more like he's actually grown up and England can finally consider "forgiving" him for the perceived ungratefulness and begin to see him as an adult.

As to your question about how this headcanon changes things for England... it doesn't. England has his own perception of what happened in his mind and perhaps it isn't deliberately a fantasy, perhaps it is more in line with the "reality" of what happened, but in my headcanon, it changes nothing about him and his actions in actual canon. He just doesn't see America as someone he could have romantic or sexual feelings for until that time around or after WWII because before that, he still emotionally views America as a kid even if he knows logically that America isn't anymore--he still has those lingering memories from long ago, but seeing America during WWII is a real shock to his system like... oh, oh shit he's hot what the fuck! meanwhile America has been pining for England since around the 1740's LOL. England doesn't have to been in love with America all along to be in love with him now.

In my version, I think once America and England actually get together, America can maybe let go of his fantasy version of the revolution. It's not that England never cared, it's that America saw their relationship one way and England saw it another way and those ways were fundamentaly incompatible.

The truth, irl, is that Great Britain/England is so old that of course the American War for Independence is but a tiny blip in its history, but it's the literal birth of the United States so of course it matters way more to us and this is partly my way of accounting for the discrepancy and for fitting in how the ACTUAL history makes for much more interesting usukus ideas and a deeper connection between them so it's actually the opposite: it's not that England isn't in love with America, it's that he has no idea he's in love with America and just how deep in his heart that love is. America is very aware of it and is just trying to get England to see it, but in the meantime, his heart hurts that he wasn't given the consideration he thinks was more befitting their relationship and the "fantasy" is his way of soothing himself.

I apologize that this got so long LOL. I hope this answers your questions, let me know if you need clarification on anything ^-^

[burningdaybreak]

"OVER RAD SQUAD!!" Event Impressions — and then it kind of becomes a Summary and Analysis halfway through

(Disclaimer: This post contains spoilers for all of the OVER RAD SQUAD!! event, and general VBS stories spoilers.) Hello, to whoever is reading this. Last week was quite an eventful week, between the Sekai Broadcast and this event and banner's announcement. There's been many negative reactions lately, huh. Not really the place to talk about them, but I understand many of them (or more like understood, in some cases). This essay isn't like my usual one, since it'll mainly be my thoughts on the event; but I'll also summarize the event a bit and perhaps talk about the cards and my general impression. However, I wouldn't call it an analysis, and perhaps not even an essay? I'm just talking about my impressions and such. [Note after finishing the essay: It very much became both a summary and a bit of analysis lol] Warning that this isn't formally written like I did for my other posts, and it has the incoherent and perhaps even incomprehensible thoughts of a fan. So yeah, this is just a regular post. But perhaps I write an actual essay eventually because this event rocked.

1. The Event's Announcement

OVER RAD SQUAD!! had a pretty stormy announcement, not just because it was a unit limited event when VBS had already had one just two months ago (Whip the wimp girl!!), while a unit like WxS hasn't had one since 2021, but also because the story preview suddenly mentioned they're surpassing RAD WEEKEND in this very event. There was a lot of commotion on both things, but the former isn't particularly important here. People felt it was rushed, too soon, that Colorful Palette was ruining VBS's story... among other things. While I was actually pretty excited for the event, not just for the story but also the banner (new Akito lim card yay!!), and had faith they'd do the story well, the general negativity and dooming ended up getting to me and I got a bit stressed regarding the story. However, it turns out that everyone was wrong, and the event story turned out to be amazing and managed to cover pretty much all the important remaining plot threads neatly, and surpassing everyone's expectations. I'm glad everything ended well... (I demand an apology.) The outrage regarding the quick in succession unit limited events is understandable. It was especially bad not just because VBS had gotten one two months ago, but also because of WxS not getting any since 2021, and the second announced unit event for this month was WxS; so people generally assumed it'd be a permanent VBS event in early July, and WxS lims at the end of July. I really understand the rage, but I wasn't particularly surprised at VBS turning out to be the limited banner because, well... the Sekai team's decisions have been a bit erratic since the third anniversary, and VBS being the limited banner fit within my expectations. (Oh and I did kind of want VBS to be limited, since I think unit lim events are very hype... and because I wanted an Akito lim. Among other reasons. I apologize) Either way, the event turned out great, and the cards are very nice and Akito's card is very aibouyaoiful (yippee!), so all is forgiven (no it's not?). Now, getting into the event itself; first of all, I want to say, it's a very good event. And also extremely long. That's part of the reason why I'm not writing out the plot like I usually do; but also because I believe it's better to read it yourself, especially while listening to the voice acting and music. It's genuinely really good. (I was planning to write a summary at least, but I'm finding it pretty difficult and it'd be ultra long, sorry everyone...) [Post-essay addition: LOL. not editing this so everyone can laugh at me] Of course I can't expect everyone to know Japanese; I personally don't know much, and I machine TL events while reading them over at Sekai.best (along with the voices and Live2D in-game) — however, I later read sub TLs made by people, in case anyone just went "oh my god how can we rely on this guy's essays if he machine tl's things?!" I do know a bit of Japanese though! And I also get the general tone of a line by listening to it. So I can easily know if something's getting butchered by a machine. But if you don't like the machine TL method and prefer subs, then there's people on YouTube who sub events. (lozy bug usually sub VBS events pretty quickly; as of posing this, they've already subbed four chapters of the event) But yeah, read this event if you like VBS. I'd say it's one of the best VBS events. (I'm not really sure about calling it the outright best because I'm very biased towards Akito's focuses, but the fact I'm even considering it should be a sign of how good it was.)

2. Event Impressions and Thoughts

[Warning: Not very formal and may be incoherent. Also sort of becomes a summary halfway through lol. DISCLAIMER that I will mix my thoughts among the summary. AND!! I translated most quoted lines myself; I apologize if they're wrong, but they should get the general feeling of the line across.] God. It was so good. I genuinely cried and sobbed multiple times. It was very funny because it was just the very beginning of the event and I was already crying. There was a new BGM playing right at the start and it was so hype and exciting and it was like. This is it. This is the end... this is what they've been working so hard for... They're finally doing it... I was way too excited by the fact VBS would finally accomplish their goal. I'm not even a VBS fan (well, actually, I'm rethinking if that's true lol), but I'm just... ugh. It's been over three and a half years since their journey started, and they're finally achieving their dream. I'm very happy. The entirety of chapters 6 and 7 had me going crazy. I mean, that's pretty much the main part of the event, where VBS's event takes place. This was all the culmination of VBS's story, all their effort rewarded. This is it, this is what they wanted, and they finally reached it. Their dream has been accomplished. Ughhh... But let's go back to the beginning first: Kohane's task. Or tasks, rather, but the other one comes later. It was actually a quite simple task, which was strengthening her singing. For that purpose, Ken has her being coached by the other groups that participated in RAD WEEKEND: RUST and GLaP day. It was very cool to bring them back tbh, and that they were all coaching Kohane. The coaching method was also quite interesting: it was a sort of game where they take turns improvising lines. Her objective was to beat everyone at least once. She was struggling to beat them when suddenly, An sends her a message, and it was actually the scene from Whip the wimp girl!! where they meet in the morning and they have their singing duel. I really like how that happens during this. So cool. I love WTWG by the way. Her feelings of frustration from losing to not just RUST and GLaP day but also to An motivates her to give it her all and pour all she has into this. She wants to give back to An everything she has been given. Or, in my mentally ill way, she wants to give back the love she has received from An. Showing how grateful she is in her own way. Focusing on all that, fueled by her frustration, and wanting to give back to everyone, Kohane manages to beat everyone, and she's now more than strong enough to surpass RAD WEEKEND. She's curious about her second task, but Ken tells her he'll tell her on the day of the event. After that, she keeps practicing at COL, trying to grasp that feeling that allowed her to win against everyone, but she isn't quite there. COL's owner tells her that if she keeps singing like that, her voice will run out, and explains to her that perhaps she has to look into herself; find her own ego. That is, a selfish feeling, an impulse, what she's doing this for. What would make her do this even if it troubled other people. "I'll do this no matter what, no matter who I cause trouble to." Walking through Kamiyama Street and thinking about others' egos, Kohane wonders what's her own ego. Miku then appears to her, wondering what's her. Kohane explains that she doesn't know if she has an ego of her own;

🐹 For a long time, I've never been able to find a dream or something I want to do... 🐹 But I met An-chan and the others, and I was able to have the dream I have now. 🐹 ...Just like that, I was able to have dreams thanks to someone... 🐹 …If you ask me if there's something I want to do no matter what, even if it means causing trouble for everyone—

Miku then tells her that there is, but she just hasn't noticed it. And she suggests they go on a walk. She reminisces about how far she has come and her journey from the start, how she came across An and WEEKEND GARAGE. Then, she overhears a song, and following it, she comes across WEEKEND GARAGE once again, like she did back then. There, she finds her partner and teammates practicing.

🐹 (— What an amazing song...) 🐹 (My skin is tingling, my heart pounding...) 🐹 ("More"...) 🐹 (... I don't know if it's ego or not, but—) 🐹 (I like this feeling.) 🐹 (If I'm going to sing at an event bigger than RAD WEEKEND, I want it to be with this feeling.) 🐹 (I want to feel more excited.) 🐹 (I want to make you feel even more excited.) 🐹 (I want to cherish this feeling and sing it.)

Afterwards, her teammates notice she's there and she asks them to sing with her, before the flashback ends. I really liked the parallelism in this last scene, and how she finds her own ego in a similar way to how she found music back then. It was An and her teammates that allowed her to find music and herself, and now she wants to cherish this feeling, and sing for them, and do this with them. Ughh. So, yeah. The Kohane section was really good. It showed her character's development so well. She used to be shy and such, but now she's so confident in her skill and using everything she has learned and all her feelings to get stronger. She's so cool tbh. And the ego part was very good, too, and figuring out what she sings for, what she wants to do no matter what... very good. Now in the current day, there's one week left until their event (which is where the event actually starts, but chronologically, the flashback goes first). After their meeting, Kohane is worried in her room and Miku talks to her again, and that's where all of the aforementioned flashback takes place. Following the flashback, Miku tells her she'll be fine, since she has been facing her feelings all this time. Then the day before the event arrives. They left practice earlier than usual, to prepare for what's coming the next day. While talking, they reminisce about Arata, who isn't with them anymore. Touya hasn't given up on bringing back Arata, but there's nothing they can do about that anymore. They did all they could, and now all that's left is to finish it. They're doing it tomorrow — going beyond RAD WEEKEND! Chapter 6 is possibly one of the lengthiest chapters in all events in the game (I don't remember any longer one right now, at least). The chapter starts with Taiga coming back which is !!!!, because at that point I thought he wouldn't come back at all, but he did. It was a cool surprise. He talks a bit with Ken, wondering if it's fine he's here rather than backstage with them, cheering them up like a coach; but Ken replies that it's not his event — it's their event. The "next generation"'s event. By the way, their event is named RAD BLAST. Silly name tbh. But it's fun. Meanwhile, backstage, everyone's thinking about what they're feeling.

🐹 (... Amazing.) 🐹 (The atmosphere is different from previous events even before it started.) 🐹 ("I want to see the moment RAD WEEKEND is surpassed", "I want Nagi-san's wish to come true" —) 🐹 (All those strong feelings turn into heat... and I can feel them all the way here.) 🎧 (... It feels strange.) 🎧 (This time, I'm looking at the view I looked up at that day from the same perspective as Nagi-san.) 🎧 (Finally — I've come this far.) ☕ (... I've never been this nervous, even in the biggest competition I've ever participated in.) ☕ (... We only have one chance.) ☕ (We will definitely surpass it.)

But then, Akito interrupts everyone's thoughts, telling them to form a circle, since doing that before a show gets him really pumped. And then, he says he'll go first and:

🥞 I've been betting on this day! 🥞 I couldn't take anything seriously, and I couldn't forgive myself for being half-hearted. 🥞 The thing that made me realize that life was worth risking was RAD WEEKEND. 🥞 When I overcome RAD WEEKEND, I'll be proud — of myself, and everything I've ever been. 🥞 So no matter what... I'll surpass it!!

(Interrupting the summary: this part made me so emotional I started crying the first time I read it. In fact, I am sobbing again as I write this. I love Akito so much, honestly. Ugh.) Then following his partner's lead, Touya speaks up, too:

☕ — I want to know. ☕ I came to this town, met my partner, my friends, and new music. ☕ During those days, I was able to acknowledge myself. I was able to accept everything, both my past and present. ☕ ... No matter what obstacles I faced, thanks to everyone, I was able to keep going and get to this point. ☕ And then — at last, we came this far. ☕ I want to see how the songs I write will move the town, and how far I can go... ☕ For that reason, I will do my best today.

Kotaro (🍓) and Tatsuya (🏍) follow, too:

🍓 ...I!! I don't want to be such a pathetic person anymore!! 🍓 Laughing and saying there's no way I can do the things I really want to do — I don't want to be like that!! 🍓 With this — going beyond what I think is the most amazing thing, I will be able to accept myself!! 🏍 This time, I sing to believe in myself. 🏍 Even if someone ridicules me, I will pursue my dreams. 🏍 ... Even though I longed for that kind of lifestyle, somewhere along the line, I was swayed by the words of others. 🏍 There's no way it will come true, there's no way I can win, there's no way I can surpass it... I will resist such words. I will surpass RAD WEEKEND — I will believe in myself!

Kohane realizes that this is everyone's ego. They won't give in to anyone, and accomplish it no matter what... she starts to understand. She couldn't put her feelings into words, and she's beginning to understand her ego. Then, An talks, too:

🎧 I— I've always admired it; RAD WEEKEND... and Nagi-san. 🎧 I always thought that someday I'd catch up to that place, run with you, and surpass you. 🎧 ... I can no longer run with Nagi-san. 🎧 However— I can carry on the dream that Nagi-san left behind. 🎧 I can go to a world that Nagi-san couldn't go to— that she couldn't see. 🎧 If we can surpass RAD WEEKEND, I'm sure... 🎧 So we will surpass it! Absolutely!

Finally, Kohane speaks up, telling how she feels:

🐹 I— I want to go! 🐹 Beyond RAD WEEKEND, to the place beyond that...! 🐹 I'm sure it'll be exciting, like when I first heard An-chan's song... 🐹 ... No. I'm sure it'll be even more exciting! 🐹 I want to go there!! — No matter who tries to stop me, I will definitely go!! With everyone!!

Finishing the speeches off, An tells everyone to make this the best night of their life. It's time to go beyond RAD WEEKEND, and begin a new legend! (At this point, this has truly become a summary, but I still want to give my thoughts lol: this scene was REALLY good. Akito's words really hit me hard and made me cry the first time I read this part, as I mentioned earlier, but I also really liked everyone else's words. This was when I was like "Oh... I really understand these characters...", because many of the things they said are things I wrote about in my essays. I get these characters, and I'm so glad.) But going back to the event: following their speeches, Ken appears to tell Kohane her second task, before promptly leaving. And then, with the audience unable to contain their excitement, it's time to begin their final event — the one that will mark a new legend, 「RAD BLAST」. An and Kohane are the first batters. Together, they sing, hyping up the audience, and increasing the heat. The event is off to a good start, and if they grasp the feeling of "evolving together" that they learned in their duel, they can make the fire bigger. They finish off their performance, leaving the audience very excited, and so it's Akito and Touya's turn. And they give us this absolutely sickening (positive) interaction:

🥞 … Let's go, Touya. 🥞 Hm? What are you smiling about? ☕️ You are too. Aren't you nervous? 🥞 I got over that a while ago. Now, I'm just-- 🥞 Surpassing it. That's all I'm thinking about. ☕️ Yeah. I agree. ☕️ Let's go, Akito. Let's make our dreams come true.

"Our dreams"... ugh... critical hit. It's now a shared dream... a dream he got from Akito... that now belongs to both of them... Sorry I'll stop being gay. They sing together, exciting the audience even more. They think as they sing:

🥞 (I gave top-batter to those guys, but—) 🥞 (To move upward through clashing with your partner, isn't your privilege alone!) ☕️ (We both looked toward each other—we looked at what we didn't have, and we ran upward.) ☕️ (I hope I can be a worthy partner!)

(So good... the bond with your partner is amazing... Working together, growing together, experiencing things together... argh...!) Following them it's Kotaro's turn, and then Tatsuya and EVER. Watching them perform, Taiga thinks of how he didn't expect these guys to turn into such great singers. As he thinks, he notices a guy in a wheelchair, which is tough with the crowd in the livehouse. But when he asks if he's fine, he notices who it is— Meanwhile, backstage, EVER is about to finish their performance, and it'll be time for the final performance. But suddenly, someone appears: Arata. Akito asks him why he's there, and he shows them a CD; a CD that Souma sent him, telling him "Please surpass this" in a memo, along with "I was moved by the song that Aoyagi-kun wrote.", "If you listen to it and it moves you, please listen to this one last time." He couldn't listen to it, as he felt he didn't deserve to when he couldn't carry his dream. But he had to at least listen to this song, and upon listening to it, he understood — he wants to carry Souma's dream. It doesn't matter if he can do it or not — he wants to do it. That's his ego. He's being self-centered, but he wants to carry his dreams, and his songs, regardless. He wants to sing. Despite running away and coming back at such an important time... and what he's asking for being so much... he wants to sing. Akito simply responds that he hopes he didn't get stale, and he gets permission from them to sing. EVER's performance is about to end, and Akito tells him to get ready. He thanks Akito... and Touya, too — since Souma wrote "I was able to write this song thanks to Aoyagi-kun." in his message. Touya brushes it off, telling him that the reason Souma was actually able to write this song was because he was thinking of Arata, to which he responds that he'll sing that feeling — all of his and Souma's feelings.

With EVER done, the audience is looking forward to the finale by Vivid BAD SQUAD — but instead, it's Arata who appears, which surprises everyone, especially Souma, as he wasn't in the lineup for the event. When he's about to sing, he notices Souma among the audience. Even though it should be hard for him to even stand still, he still came. Souma shouts, saying "Let's overcome this together!!", and Arata begins singing. Souma cheers for him as he sings, shouting that he's there too — with his song, next to him. Arata's performance gets the audience even more excited, and the time for Vivid BAD SQUAD to deliver the finale is getting closer. It's up to them to surpass RAD WEEKEND. While waiting for their turn, Kohane goes get some water. As she drinks, she thinks that they have to surpass it, and clearing her task too. She thinks back on it, and it's revealed what her final task is: putting all her feelings into her song, and telling Ken what she's feeling, at that moment. She thinks how she has to do it, deliver her feelings, her ego — everything. But then she realizes her hands are shaking, and her heart beating loudly. As she thinks that now's not the time to be trembling, Miku interrupts her. (Interrupting the summary again: this is where chapter 6 ends. It really was a very long chapter. I think it was super great. As I said earlier, the circle scene truly took me out, and the Arata-Souma part made me Sick (in a good way). I recommend reading this chapter with voices and Live2D; everyone gets new Live2D models! Even the NPCs!! This is the most important part of VBS's story!!!) Wondering why Miku has appeared, she tells Kohane she just wanted to check things out, since their turn is coming soon. Miku then asks her if she's feeling excited right now — feeling the same excitement she felt that day, the day she went to Vivid Street... the day she found WEEKEND GARAGE... the day she met An. Kohane responds she's feeling excited, but it's a different kind of excitement — "I have to do this" is what she's feeling. It's like she can no longer see the excitement of "I want to do this"; which isn't good, as she had finally found her feelings. Miku says it can't be helped, as this is a place where emotions swirl, and sometimes it's easy to lose sight of things. However, she has to remember ���

💚 『Kohane is now standing in front of a big wall that leads to a new world.』 💚 『We don't know what's on the other side. No one knows yet.』 🐹 No one... 💚 『Let's go see it, Kohane — together with everyone.』 🐹 … Yeah. That's right. 🐹 Together with everyone in Vivid BAD SQUAD, and all of my friends who've come this far...

Miku then replies that that's not all, is it? But then says that it'll become clear on stage when Kohane's confused at her reply. They then hear the cheers from the audience — their turn is coming soon. The rest of Vivid BAD SQUAD come looking for Kohane, and they make notice of Miku. Soon after, the rest of VIRTUAL SINGERS appear too, coming to support them and wishing them luck.

��� 『Let's go see a new world together.』

And then, it's time for Vivid BAD SQUAD's performance... the time to surpass the legend has come!! ... However, this is where I'm stopping the summary for chapter 7. I'm really sorry but I really believe this is a chapter you have to read yourself; something you have to witness yourself. This chapter is probably the best chapter they've made in all events so far, and any summary I make of it won't do it any justice. They really went all out with it. I really, really recommend reading it yourself. Watch Vivid BAD SQUAD surpass RAD WEEKEND. But, as you may know already: they do it. They surpass the legend — they surpass RAD WEEKEND. And they make a legend of their own.

[Chapter 8 — To the next world] EPILOGUE

A few days later, everything's so lively on Vivid Street. There's musicians everywhere singing, a familiar scenery for the people in the town... everyone has been inspired by RAD BLAST, wanting to surpass this new and exciting legendary event. Vivid BAD SQUAD managed to even change the scenery of the town. Meanwhile, at WEEKEND GARAGE, Taiga and Ken are talking. Taiga is already heading to the airport, poking fun at Ken since he has things to do, unlike the man who closed his store. Furthermore, he has to go back and brush up his skills — he wants to be the one to achieve Nagi's dream, but now he has more rivals. Finally, he thanks Ken. But then, Ken tells him he wants to do it together again. His role as a mentor to the next generation is over, and he'll be just an artist again, so — he wants to sing with Taiga, again. His wife's fine with this, and An laughed and said they're rivals now, so it's alright. They're partners once again.

Finally, Vivid BAD SQUAD and everyone else are at the graveyard, visiting Nagi's grave. They clean up then pray to her grave, saying a few words.

🎧 ... Nagi-san, we've come this far. 🎧 From now on, I will go beyond Nagi's dream. 🎧 The scenery that Nagi wanted to see, the various places... We'll go and see them all. 🐹 Thank you very much, Nagi-san. 🐹 Thanks to Nagi-san, we have come this far. So— 🐹 From here on, leave it to me. 🥞 "Conquer the world"... We've accepted Nagi-san's big dream. ☕ The rest will be slow — please watch over us.

Following that, Kohane asks what everyone's planning to do from now on: Kotaro is planning to upload his raps online, as he wants more people to listen to them, and tells everyone to subscribe to him; meanwhile, Tatsuya and EVER are planning to go major, debutting as pro singers, since they want more people around the world to hear the music that was born in the town. As for Arata and Souma, they're planning to team up together again, with Souma as the track maker, and Arata singing his songs. They'll be a team once again. They haven't decided what they'll do exactly, but they will pursue the dream that Nagi entrusted to everyone, which means they're Vivid BAD SQUAD's rivals now. Finally, Vivid BAD SQUAD — of course, they're planning to take over the world, and going beyond Nagi's dream. Kohane thinks, while she may not know what she wants to do from now on, she's sure it'll be okay; they can move forward. Because—

Because—!

Because they will never be discouraged, no matter how big the wall!! Furthermore, just imagining what the view as they "Take over the world" will be like makes Kohane's heart race. She then calls out her teammates' names, telling them she wants to go there soon. And the event ends. Vivid BAD SQUAD has accomplished their dream — but their journey is just getting started. Run to a new world!!

2.1. My Event Impressions and Thoughts For Real After I Accidentally Summarized the Whole Event

Well, lol. Sorry, in the end I summarized most of it. (Also I may be accidentally repeating here some of the thoughts I wrote throughout the summary.) So, as I was saying earlier: it was sooo good. I genuinely cried and sobbed multiple times. This is very noteworthy because I really dislike crying, so I don't cry often (im just like akito fr), and not many Sekai events got me close to being emotional over them (there is a few, though. I'm not emotionless lol), yet this one had me emotional all throughout. In fact, even days later I still feel emotional over it. Just the thought of this being the end... what they worked so hard for... what they've been looking forward to for so long... they're finally accomplishing their dream. I'm so, so happy. Kohane's part of the event was really good. Didn't expect they'd bring back RUST and GLaP day to coach her (also, at first I thought COL's owner was gonna be the one coaching her lol!), it was so cool. I also really like how much it showed Kohane's development — how she used to be so shy and with no dream, but now she's very confident in her skill and her dream that she inherited from her partner and teammates. I also quite like how Whip the wimp girl!!'s does actually happen concurrently to this event. Very epic stuff, guys. With her feelings of frustration, after losing to Taiga, RUST, GLaP day, and now An... she uses those feelings to improve even further, with the desire of giving back to An, wanting to show her cool side too. Giving back the love she has received from An... wanting to love back, after An has provided so much love... Ughh...!! Kohane is very cool, actually. The finding your ego part was also quite cool; I had never viewed everything that way, but it makes a lot of sense. Of course, as an Akito fan, I end up naturally thinking of Akito's ego, sorry, but this isn't about him; Kohane finding what she's doing this for, what she'd do this for even if other people didn't like it, it was so good. Very cool. When you think about it, RAD WEEKEND was Nagi's selfish wish; it was her ego, and the ego of everyone else who participated; and RAD BLAST was everyone else's ego. This kind of ties it together — everyone came together for their own wants. Oh, the parallels... they make me crazy. And then there's chapters 6 and 7. Pretty much the main point of the event. To be honest, there's a few people who complained about Kohane events mostly being "plot events" rather than "character events" and — perhaps that's true, but the first half focused on her character, her task and her growth, and this is like, the big VBS event. There's no helping it. In a way, this is a plot event, but it's very closely tied to the characters, since they're reaching their ultimate goal. But as I was saying... chapters 6 and 7 were crazy. The circle scene at the beginning of chapter 6 really had me losing it. When Akito started shouting his Akito-like lines, I just... started sobbing, genuinely. The lines were the usual Akito lines but... they really hit me hard. Man. I love him so much. Honestly. Fuck!!!! (sorry for swearing) Everyone saying their ego and everything, it was so good.

Pretty much the entirety of chapter 6 was amazing. It was so nice to see the partner duos performing together to kick off the event. Also Touya's line about "Let's accomplish our dream" has been imprinted in my brain. Just... ugh. The Arata-Souma part was also really good. I like how he appeared last minute and sang Souma's song... even though Souma can't sing anymore, they were doing this together, in a way... oghh... I get emotional thinking about this. This is tragic yaoi, perhaps. (Little bit of nitpicking here) Maybe it would have been nice if they gave us a bit more about Arata, though, such as what he was doing until now, and how Souma even found him... but perhaps they'll do that in a future event. And chapter 7? Mannnnn. I didn't summarize it but I'll give my thoughts on it. Don't read this part if you didn't read the chapter or something!! Chapter 7 had me speechless. I was livetweeting my event impressions and I just couldn't keep tweeting anymore except a random screenshot because Kohane's lines hit my head hard, but yeah. It was so epic. I was sobbing, happy, laughing. This really was the greatest chapter in all Sekai events so far. (Actual chapter 7 spoilers now) All the effects and stuff were so epic. And how they used multiple BGMs of the characters singing?? And then for the finale, VBS's cheers and time stopping for Kohane??? It's just... wow... it was so incredibly shounen and perhaps even a bit corny but it was amazing. I loved it so much. I'm not even that big of a fan of shounen stuff but it was so cool. They really went all out with this chapter. A big love letter to VBS, and really delivering on their finale. Man!!! So great. I'm so, so happy. They finally did it. I didn't even really consider myself a VBS fan until recently, but WTWG really hit my head hard, and I've since reread most VBS events and reconsidered my thoughts on a lot of things. And now here we are... But even then, I've always been an Akito fan, so even if I didn't like VBS (which I do!), just seeing him accomplish his dream... makes me cry. I'm so happy for everyone, really. I'm so grateful. Chapter 8 was a pretty nice epilogue. The chapter starting just like back after RAD WEEKEND, with the musicians singing in town and aiming to surpass the new legend in town... wow... the themes of chains of inspiration and generational cycles are cool. RAD BLAST inspired and motivated everyone, and revived the scenery of the town once again. It's so nice. Ken and Taiga becoming partners again was quite an interesting development. Didn't expect that. It's pretty sad that Ken-san may be gone... between that and all the NPCs having their own plans (Kotaro becoming a YouTuber lol), it's like... VBS is by themselves, once again. I feel sad thinking about this.

Also I wanna say that I really loved how they showed the development that all the VBS characters went through. This event is like a culmination of not just their story, but also their characters. They grew a lot... It makes me so happy. It also focused a lot (more than I expected) on the partner bond; not just within VBS, but also Arata-Souma and, very surprisingly, Taiga-Ken. Not to bring "discourse" here, but some people seem to think the partner stuff is fanservice, for some reason (I beg people to Read the stories, please); but it's a very integral part of the VBS characters. The bond with your partner and growing together and helping each other grow; this event really drove the point home multiple times, including in the cards (lol). I talked about partners a few times in my past essays, and I'm glad the game really shows how important they are to each other. While they're a group, and there's a friendship between all of them, the most important person to each other is their respective partner. It's a truly inseparable bond. This did feel like an actual finale. Of course, their story is far from over, but they REALLY did make it look like an actual ending. Good job. Breaking the mood for a bit, I actually feel a bit mixed about this ending. I kind of... dread what's next? It's an odd feeling. Like, I feel super happy and satisfied, but also... it has been over three and a half years since their journey started, and now it's over? It's like when you finish a very long game that you loved and suddenly you're like "Oh... now what?" It's also weird because most of their life has been about surpassing RAD WEEKEND... it's scary to think what they're gonna do next. Of course, I support them in whatever they plan to do, they're like my kids (everyone in Sekai is, tbh), but the unknown is scary. While random to mention here, perhaps Akito may feel something similar soon. He even says it in the event, but RAD WEEKEND was all his life, what kept him alive, and he has been looking forward to this day all this time; so now that he accomplished this goal, he may feel a bit lost on what's next. While "conquering the world" is definitely VBS's next goal, he may want something... more concrete? Direct? But there is someone that has always been with him... his partner. Maybe this is me being a bit delusional but perhaps it'll be Touya that gives Akito a "new purpose" in life — they'll always be together, no matter what, just like Arata and Souma. In the end, it's all about aibou. Leaving the negative feelings aside: yeah, it was an epic event. Possibly the best VBS event? Or even in the game? However, I don't know if I can rank it higher than Akito's focuses because, well, that's my boy!! But as a group event, this is perhaps the best. There's some minor nitpicks, such as why, despite being their big event, none of their friends and loved ones were there (like, Saki and Tsukasa would want to be there for Touya; and Kohane's parents too, among other people), but perhaps they simply didn't appear physically since they didn't want to crowd the event too much? Or it was recorded (don't make the same mistake as RADder lol)? But it's a bit "hmmm" to think about. (<- guy who just said he'd leave the negativity aside) BUT! I think they really landed this event. It was quite Crazy to suddenly finish not just the arc, but their STORY so soon, and everyone doubted they could do it (June 29th was a rough day). But they did it. In a way, this is storytelling (what is he yapping about), and as my friend put it:

i do think that doomer phase was a quintessential part of the vbs experience. “there’s scenery you can only see when beaten and crawling on the asphalt” after all . they scared the shit out of us with insane balance and pacing decisions and pulled it all right back together (source)

I had faith in the writing, unlike most people, and thought they'd be able to cover, at the least, most of those plot threads that there were hanging... but they actually covered nearly everything. It was much better than I expected. They surpassed my expectations, both the writers and VBS. It was so great. A really good event. I love Akito. I love aibous. I love VBS. Truly legendary.

3. Event Cards Impressions (and Some Analysis)

[Disclaimer: Personal opinions ahead. The analysis is very minor, since I think there isn't That much to analyze here.] So epic that they gave Akito a gay bar themed card to finish off pride month 🧡💙 We truly ended pride month with a BLAST!! Okay, jokes aside. The event gacha's name is The Party Of Blast!! Gacha, and looking at the cards, it's easy to see why. They're all partying in their cards; this is pretty much the afterparty of their event. Everyone's cards take place in bar-like settings, and there's alcoholic glasses all over — however, rather than alcohol, they're filled with diamonds and various other gems, some of them colored as VBS's characters' image colors. (They're minors and can't legally drink alcohol by the way.) There's also confetti raining down on them, representing their victory. They're all dressed in military-like clothes, symbolizing how hard they've been fighting so far to reach this place. And, they also all have elements of VBS's image color (hot, bright pink) in their outfits, mainly their belts or belt straps and their shoelaces, which represent their unit and their unity as a team. (Won't mention this detail for all of them, so just adding it here.) There's also chains present in most of the cards. I did talk about chains a bit in my latest essay, and I feel they may represent a similar thing here: connection, the connection between these characters as a team, and the partners' deeper connections to each other. So overall, the theme of these cards is as I said — an afterparty, celebrating their achievement after all their hard work. Something that could be interesting to talk about before getting into the cards themselves is the fact they chose a bar setting for these cards. An often-controversial aspect of VBS is that they often cover and sing adult-themed songs; like, suggestive songs (such as PaIII.Sensation), or in their most recent cover, Yoidore Shirazu, featuring elements of drinking (As I've said in the past, I don't really condone them covering these kinds of songs and I'd rather they weren't a thing but, it is what it is). This last example is fitting since this set, too, has a drinking-related theme, which is bars. VBS are often associated with adult elements, despite being one of the younger units (all second-years, same as Leo/need), and this is another case of that: minors aren't allowed to drink alcoholic beverages, nor enter bars in general. For that reason, the content of the glasses in the cards are replaced with diamonds and other gems, but the original feeling still remains of them being in a place that is usually reserved for adults. One way to look at it is that they're more mature than expected for their age, chasing after a dream in a mainly grown-up world, and aiming to surpass an event hosted by adults, and they represent that maturity by putting them in adult situations? Or perhaps, due to the street culture, these things represent them breaking the rules and doing things that aren't fit for minors; to symbolize the underlying theme of rebellion in these characters, too, and showing everyone that they can do whatever they're chasing after. Project Sekai is, in a way, a "coming of age" game, showing all the characters' growth and development as they experience things in their teenage life, so this adult angle does make sense. Vivid BAD SQUAD are growing up...! In any case, let's get into the cards; of course, starting with a very special boy:

4☆ Shinonome Akito - "A Circle Signaling Our Determination"

"... Good. Everyone has their hands in."

This is Akito's 4☆ card from the event. This may be crazy to say but, I think this is THE gayest Akito card. Not just for the gay bar joke (sorry), but it very much gives that vibe. While I actually think "woww he looks so gay here" whenever there's a new Akito card... this time, it's for real. I'm not sure how to explain it, but he LOOKS gay. I've seen gay guys that look like this before. This is a gay guy, if I've ever seen one. His beloved partner sitting on the chair's arm next to him, so close to him, really adds to the homosexuality. It's just a great card to me. ... Anyways, getting serious. My general thoughts on the card is that it has become one of my favorite Akito lims (still below FES and Doggy though). People were being mean to his hairstyle but I think it looks really nice! It's now one of my favorite hairstyles for him.

Fun fact: Akito's hairstyle here is quite similar to Souma's hairstyle. Meanwhile, Touya's hairstyle in Whip the wimp girl!!, which I thought was a reference to his dad, does share similarities to Arata's hairstyle, too. Are they implying something?

Also, I quite like his outfit. I'd definitely wear that stuff (you're insane), he looks very handsome and attractive. It's very nice that his pants are dark pink? Grape pink? (I don't know color names lol.) Furthermore, his boots' shoelaces and his belt strap are bright, hot pink; which is VBS's image color. It's pretty nice and bold. From memory, I think this is the first time he wears these kinds of pink? Which I feel is quite bold, since he usually wears less showy colors; a recent exception being his BURN MY SOUL card's outfit, which he got in the event where he realized he has to listen to how he feels and be true to himself more, which I interpreted in the outfit as him being more confident in how he dresses. There's even a similar contrast in both of these cards' costumes, combining black / dark colors, and a showy color. Could just be reading too much into it, as usual, but the fact he's getting bolder with his fashion is quite nice and something I enjoy. He feels more confident in himself, and now wears colors he didn't use to wear (pink), which is a color usually considered "for girls"... Don't want to delve too deeply into the topic of his sexuality in here, otherwise this is gonna get extra long, but I talked about getting bolder with his fashion and how it could relate to what he learned about his feelings and feeling more confident about them, and his sexuality and my homosexuality headcanon in the BMS card section in The Gay Akito Thesis™. Similar logic would apply to this card and outfit, in my opinion. A very nice detail is the colored diamonds and gems — they're colored after VBS's image colors (Pink, Light Blue, Orange, Dark Blue). The fun part is that, even as diamonds/gems, the partners are always together (Pink+Light Blue, and Orange+Dark Blue). You can see them together on the table, and in the glasses in the card. They're inseparable, after all. Speaking of which, Touya himself is next to Akito in this card. So nice... always together... aibou4ever...

🥞 (I gave top-batter to those guys, but—) 🥞 (To move upward through clashing with your partner, isn't your privilege alone!) ☕️ (We both looked toward each other—we looked at what we didn't have, and we ran upward.) ☕️ (I hope I can be a worthy partner!)

Oh, nearly forgot to talk about the theme. Yeah, as I said earlier, they're dressed in military-like outfits, and it's a party at a bar. Out of all the set, this card is the one that is most obviously a bar because of the glasses hanging in the back. (Considering that, and the, uh, nearing-homosexual bond between Akito and Touya, the gay bar joke seems quite fitting.) Also, not that important and likely obvious; the neon sign in the back saying "Go all out" symbolizes Akito and everyone else giving it their all during their event. it also represents akito coming out of the closet (joke) In short, this card represents the afterparty and celebration after surpassing their goal, which they had been working so hard to accomplish and put all their effort into. It's quite cool. Great job, guys, you deserve it. So, overall, I think it's a great card. I really like it. The untrained illustration also features Touya next to Akito, and a neat detail is that it's the first time Touya reciprocates Akito's shoulder touch (Akito is always all over Touya's shoulders, but it was never the other way around), just... wow... sorry I'll stop being gay. Great card, everyone. Gay Akito is real. Happy pride month.

2☆ Aoyagi Touya - "Just a Little Bit More of This Atmosphere"

Touya's 2☆ card. Not much to say here, it's just a 2☆... But it looks quite nice! I like how he's Happy (both literally and the actual card attribute) and enjoying singing... such a nice development from the Touya at the start of the game... he enjoys music once again thanks to his partner and the town. So good. I like it. Touya's initial 2☆ (his very first one) was also Happy, and comparing his appearance between both cards, with his initial 2☆ him looking serious and gloomy, and now in this card him looking happy and enjoying himself as he sings and does what he enjoys... it's quite a difference. It's very nice. Perhaps this card may represent this moment in the story, too:

🥞 … Let's go, Touya. 🥞 Hm? What are you smiling about? ☕️ You are too. Aren't you nervous? 🥞 I got over that a while ago. Now, I'm just-- 🥞 Surpassing it. That's all I'm thinking about. ☕️ Yeah. I agree. ☕️ Let's go, Akito. Let's make our dreams come true.

Very good... smiling about making THEIR dream come true — it's not just Akito's dream, it's their dream now... So great. Aibous forever!!

4☆ Hatsune Miku - "Beyond the Door"

"Let's go and see it, Kohane. Together with everyone."

Now we have Miku's 4☆ card. This is a quite notable card because, up until now, Miku's lims were mainly reserved for "special occasions" (FES, collabs, and special events). Although, perhaps, this IS a special occasion — besides the fact it was the first Bloom Festival banner, it's also a special occasion for VBS. Their arc end, their final goal, the end of their story... maybe? Yeah. It's a nice card. Seeing Miku with her hair down is new and interesting, although I would've liked a different hairstyle for VBS Miku but... eh, it's alright. It's good too. Just like Akito's card, the card takes place in a bar-like setting, and she's wearing military-like clothes, with hot pink shoelaces, belt, and thigh belt (VBS's image color). The glass she's holding has four different colored gems: dark blue, yellow, light blue, and pink, which I imagine represent KAITO, Len, Miku, and Luka. It's odd that there's no red and orange for MEIKO and Rin, but you could pretend they just can't be seen from the front. There's also something else: if you zoom in, there's two glasses in the background, one with dark blue and orange diamonds, and the other with light blue and pink diamonds. Even in this card, the partner pairs are together, and in different glasses, to boot. Funny. They're truly inseparable. Also the neon signs in the card "get over" and "NEXT" are quite nice. Symbolizing surpassing their goal and, as the second sign literally says, what's next. Pretty cool card. I should also mention the card's untrained illustration: usually, the VIRTUAL SINGER holograms in the story aren't that big, but it feels more symbolic than anything; Miku being next to Kohane, supporting her and watching her back as she heads towards her dream. It's very nice.

💚 『Let's go see a new world together.』

3☆ Shiraishi An - "What I Want to Tell You"

"Nagi-san, we've come this far..."

An's 3☆ card from the event. Just like the others, the theme is a bar celebration in military-like clothes. Also, once again, the outfit has bright, hot pink elements (the shoelaces and the belt). I think it's a pretty nice card. Unlike the previous cards I've talked about, there's colored gems of many colors in this card, and there's a lot of them. You can make out the VIRTUAL SINGER's colors laying on the table, including the missing red and orange in Miku's card, and the middle glass on the table has VBS's image colors, and once again, they're together. (The light blue one is a bit hard to make out because of the glass' reflection, but it's definitely there, next to the pink one.) The other two glasses seem to be a combination of all colors, all together. And the untrained illustration is kind of insane, in my opinion: An visiting Nagi's grave... it really hit hard when I first saw it. After surpassing RAD WEEKEND, she's finally visiting the grave of the one she admired, saying a few words to her, telling her how she finally did it. It's just... argh. It makes me emotional...

🎧 ... Nagi-san, we've come this far. 🎧 From now on, I will go beyond Nagi's dream. 🎧 The scenery that Nagi wanted to see, the various places... We'll go and see them all.

4☆ Azusawa Kohane - "A World Full of Excitement"

"It's so beautiful... my heart's pounding..."

And finally we have the star of the event, Kohane, and her 4☆ card! Same theme as previous cards, her card is a celebration in a bar-like setting, featuring drinks and wearing a military-like outfit, also with hot pink elements; although, due to the artistic lighting, you can't really see them, but they can be seen better in-game: she wears a hot pink belt, shoelaces, and her top. She looks very cool and confident in this card, powerful even, which I quite like; showing off Kohane's development from the beginning. Also the hairstyle is quite nice! This card also has colored gems. At first they were hard to make out, but I think the ones in the glass are also VBS's image colors. There may be other interpretations though, since it's not as clear as the other cards. However, there is two more gems on the table, and those are definitely light blue and pink, representing An and Kohane. Very nice. Always together! The untrained illustration is the main part of the event: VBS after they give their final performance, and looking at that view they've aspired to see all along... the excited audience after their legendary event. Proud of what they accomplished. It's so good...

🐹 For a long time, I've never been able to find a dream or something I want to do... 🐹 But I met An-chan and the others, and I was able to have the dream I have now. 🐹 ...Just like that, I was able to have dreams thanks to someone...

The card section this time wasn't as deep as usual (although I waffled a lot about Akito lol, sorry. Just me being crazy about Akito and homosexuality), but I believe there isn't that much to analyze here; it's pretty much just an afterparty at a bar, celebrating their big achievement, confetti raining down on them congratulating them for their victory, and the military outfits representing how hard they fought to reach where they are. Perhaps you could analyze something like the meanings of the diamonds and gems and their colors, though, but I don't think there's any deep meaning behind these cards like, for example, WTWG's set: it mainly represents VBS, the inseparable bonds with their partners, and them enjoying themselves after all their hard work. I think it's a really nice set. I like it a lot.

4. Conclusion

This wasn't like my usual essay. It's much more informal and unserious, so I apologize for that. It did kind of become a summary halfway through, but I didn't analyze too much (although I don't think there's much to analyze this time?). I mainly wanted to voice my thoughts and impressions on this event, and I hope that's fine too. I said it multiple times throughout the essay but, it was a really good event. I've mentioned it in the past, but I'm not a VBS fan — my favorite units are Niigo and MMJ. However, ever since WTWG, I've been reconsidering whether it's true that I'm "not a VBS fan"; I mean, I like every unit, but I always thought my absolute favorites were Niigo and MMJ. This is funny though because my absolute favorite character is Akito (as you can see in The Gay Akito Thesis™ — yeah I'm linking it again), it's curious how that works. I think, after reading this event, I can certainly say it: I'm a VBS fan. But, it's a bit silly to have three favorite units out of five, so idk what I'll do about that. Though, for now, I'm a VBS fan, too. I love Akito. I love VBS. I love aibous. 𝓐𝓲𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮. This is one of the greatest events in the game, perhaps one of the best, if not the best (even though I don't know if I'd say it's better than Akito's individual focuses). I really enjoyed it, and it's absolutely a must-read if you're a VBS fan. A bit of a tangent here but, personally, I think My Footprints, Your Destination is Sekai's peak. I loved everything about that event: the song, the cards, the story, the hype leading up to it... everything was great, and I still think about it years later. No event has reached that peak, but Whip the wimp girl!! has come close; the one flaw about WTWG is that I don't like a part of the full song (silly reason), and the story is amazing, but Footprints was a different kind of amazing. However, OVER RAD SQUAD!! is getting close to that peak, with the story being extremely great, and I really like the cards even if I admit they may be the weakest point of everything I mentioned. The only thing remaining is the song... it's a bit scary, since it'll release at the end, but I hope it's good! Even if it turns out to be flop, I think it's very close to the peak I mentioned. This is one of the greatest events in the game. We truly ended pride month with a BLAST, huh? (stop with this joke bro) And that's all. This is how I feel about this event. I don't know if there's much else to add about it. I hope people enjoy this, even if it's not the usual serious essay I write. These are my thoughts and opinions, and hopefully that's enjoyable, too. The last thing to mention, which is not related to the event, is that tomorrow (July 4th) marks two months since I posted my first essay; it's a bit dumb to celebrate just two months, but it also happened to be a VBS lims event and an event that I really enjoyed. Before that, I had never written anything serious like these essays, and WTWG was good enough to make me actually write something? And with that, I started writing stuff. And just last month I wrote and posted a very long essay that I had been wanting to write for a while, which I'm so proud of. Please give it a read if you haven't!! I feel like my writing improves with each essay I make, which I'm quite happy about. To finish this off, while perhaps a bit corny, I would like to thank everyone that reads and enjoys my essays; all the likes, reblogs, retweets, and everything else (?). And also give thanks to all the friends I've met. I met a lot of people recently, when before I barely interacted with the fandom because I thought it was full of awful people; but there is good people out there, too. I'm glad. I'm much happier with my life now, having met great people and interacting with others more. I'm very grateful to everyone. Thank you so much!! And so, see you in the next essay! If I don't write anything else before then, there should be two essays at the end of this month, so look forward to that!

[chardonnavs]

( nathalie kelley, forty, cis woman, she/her ) ☼ i know it’s a small town, but i run into DANICA MARQUEZ every time i go to THE TRAIN TRACKS. it’s like they practically live there and not PELICAN TOWN for TWO WEEKS. it must be because they’re ELEGANT and CONCEITED. come to think of it, that’s probably why they’re a VIOLINIST too. but i did hear they want to RE-ESTABLISH HER SPONSORSHIPS SO SHE CAN GET THE HECK OUTTA THIS PLACE, and sometimes they like to PAINT BIZARRE MUGS. rumor has it they also like EMERALDS, but dislike EGGS. what do you think?

what is up, dewers!!!! i'm anne and i'm soooooo excited to play the sdv update while we rp here <33333 i'm gonna summarize some bits about danica here and we can def plot! she is like super new, so i would understand if there isn't a lot of meat to dig into there, so i'm totally down for chemistry and seeing where things go lol

she's from zuzu city, she's a city gworl!

she grew up with 4 other siblings who all went into incredibly stereotypical overachiever fields (doctor, lawyer, engineer, wall street freak)l, so she's lived with the burden of being an overachiever in the arts.

she used to play for the zuzu city philharmonic as associate concertmaster. she was going to try to get a step up, and boy was she on track for all that. but one day, she kinda cracked under the pressure and when a rehearsal went wrong, she lost it. she threw a tantrum and in this day and age, that was posted all over the place. she got dumped from her sponsorships for her bad behavior, and the philharmonic asked her to take a leave. indefinitely.

so that's what she's here in pelican town, living with her aunt to recuperate from the hell that she made of her own life.

she's a snooty booty, and she has a tendency to look down on things that don't reach her standard in her mind.

danica's willing to do whatever it takes to get what she wants, and it doesn't matter who she steps on to get that.

she can be charming if she wants, but she's really cranky right now.

she goes to sit by the train tracks a lot to dream about escaping the valley, and hell, escaping zuzu city at some point. she craves more for herself.

she has a weird taste in art. she loves wacky mugs and other oddly shaped dishware.

she only likes the outdoors when you can't smell the outdoors. huge fan of glamping.

danica used to go to a lot of restaurants and reviewed their food for her own personal excel sheet. she's majorly sad that there aren't that many options here in the valley. ugh!

sorry to say, she's a capitalist shill, she will shop at joja mart if it's easier!!! if she can get a sponsorship from them, then she can take a step in the right direction for the resurrection of her career!

idk if you give her an emerald she might do you a favor or maybe be just a tad nicer to you, she's a huge fan of sparkly expensive things but especially emeralds.

feel free to message me here or on discord (zukospcnytail) to plot or even say hi!!!!!

[dubacheryking]

It seems like you really like the IT book( it 1986), so do you remember Eddie Corcoran’s story from chapter 6. Because like his chapter is for real one of the most heartbreaking chapters in the whole book and he’s like so underrated for no reason. Soooo like what’s your opinions on him and other little interesting thing like that lol.

:)

oh my GOG tbh i think eddie corcoran's death is straight up the most horrifying part of the book. like if u put a gun to my head and said "what part of IT 86 do u find the most stomach churning" THATS IT RIGHT THERE. no one ever really talks abt it by 90% of the fandom on here is movie based and they dont FUCKING include it for some godawful reason (i can understand the 1990 ver not including it specifically for censorship reasons, since it was the 90s and also made for tv and ALSO cut to 3hrs lol) but like. the fact that it wasnt in the movies is criminal tbh.

but i digress.

as for opinions and such regarding the corcoran boy.... i mean, we get next to nothing abt him. what we know is a) his stepdad is an abusive piece of shit b) he had a younger brother that he seemingly cared about deeply (SOBS) c) his pos stepdad killed his baby brother (LIKE ACTUAL BABY. A 4YO???? FR????) d) his death was horrific. theres a little bit more but but but i havent reread that chapter recently so some of it is certainly escaping me. i wish there was more about him as an actual person, but i also understand that w the book already being a billion pages long there is only so much small details that could actually be included, and the history of derry and main story obvs will trump this specific smaller story--but like, fr, i want to know more abt eddie. we know he was terrified of the thing from the black lagoon (fair) and obvs holds a lot of fear and anger and guilt regarding dorsey's death, we know hes abused, we know how he dies. its a weird paradox of being very close to this character (in terms of his pov at the time, being in his head and all just like w any of the main losers) and being extremely removed (we know nothing abt his internal life beyond what his abuse brings out). which. frankly it's somewhat genius bc, yeah, abuse DOES tend to stifle the actual personality/interests of the person being abused and DOES like literally fuck w the brain chemistry and processessing of a child (source: happened to me lolololol), but its also heartbreaking that all we know him as is One of The Missing. he can never be more. its fucked.

soooo . this got away from me. sorry if it makes little to no sense ill just do a small bit on my thoughts summarized HERE:

i wholeheartedly agree that eddie corcoran's death is like. the worst part of the story. listening to it makes me legit sick to my stomach in a way NO OTHER PART OF THE BOOK DOES. LEGIT. and i think the main reason for that is while cosmic horror space clown spider thing is fake, duh, and more obviously used as a stand in for trauma and specifically for childhood trauma and the lasting effects that it has on our psyche, eddie's death is REAL. dorsey's death is REAL. we see, in grusome, up close detail, the actual consequences of abuse and how it destroys people's lives--specifically children's. we see how the complacency of those around such families (eddie's mom, the teachers, the principal, the town of derry at large) contributes to the horrific mistreatment of the most vulnerable, and how NONE OF THEM suffer any consequences for their lack of action. the section ends with eddie's mother getting access to his savings, which amount to less than 20$. to do so, she has to have him legally declared dead, EVEN THOUGH THEY DO NOT HAVE A BODY. AND THAT'S FUCKED. SHE DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO MAKE SURE HE'S FUCKING DEAD BEFORE SHE DOES THIS, DOESN'T WANT THE CLOSURE, DOESN'T WANT TO LAY HIM TO REST, DOESN'T WANT A PLACE TO VISIT. I CAN'T. like obviously we see themes of abuse and neglect in the whole book, that's the whole point, but eddie's story is different. there is no winning. there is no escape. you can't spin it into a better life.

he's a kid, just like any of the losers, but to the universe, he's not 'special,' so his death doesn't matter. he could have been swapped in with any of the other characters--fuck, he literally shares the name of one of them!! and yet he's not, and because of that, he doesn't matter. his death effects no one. the only positive is that it reopens dorsey's case, and even then, the reopening of his brother's death almost entirely sweeps eddie under the rug. the town of derry turns away, and when the truth of dorsey corcoran's death is revealed, the shrug, go so very sad, and wipe their hands of it. just another child death at the hands of an adult monster, just another day.