#also lorelai crying looks exactly like me when i cry like did you have to show?

[thatkidwhodreams]

Blind Date

Warnings: Some swearing, remember texts are in bold and italics

Masterlist

Summary: Your best friend has set you up on a date with a mystery man how will you take it?

Word Count: 2136

“WHAT?!!”

You had just heard the news from your dear friend Lorelai that she had set you up to go on a blind date with one of her other friends. To say you were pissed would have been an understatement.

“I would like to apologise, but you did always talk about how lonely you were and how you didn’t want to die alone. The funny thing is this guy I’ve set you up with is exactly the same and I wanted to put you both out of your misery.” She smiled sweetly.

You wanted to slap that smile right off her face. She knew that you hated the concept of blind dates. You didn’t like how it was a complete stranger and imagine a first date gone bad with an ugly man. Who in the world would want that? Not to mention the embarrassment you’d both feel if things didn’t work out. What if it was a fine man who looked like Massimo from that Netflix movie and you looked like a mere unattractive woman.

There were a lot of thoughts which went through your head as you thought whether the idea of a blind date would be good. You didn’t see what you had to lose but there were a lot of things that could go wrong. Especially with you watching blind date videos on YouTube and seeing how they always ended up having the deadest conversations with one another. You definitely did not want that. You’d rather talk to yourself than with someone who couldn’t keep a conversation going (which you had done multiple times) it was just exhausting having to think of something to get the other person to think of something to say that wasn’t “yeah”, “me too”, “okay”, “cool” or “same” the list could have gone on. 

“I’ll think about it. What’s this guy’s name anyway?” You asked. 

She looked at her nails and said “his name is Shawn, don’t worry he’s fine as hell. Your typical Prince Charming tall, dark and handsome.” 

“Hey, I thought I was the one going on this date with him. The way you make him out to be does not sound too bad at all.” You said as you nodded your head. Her mini description of him checked all the boxes for a perfect man in your head. But the real question was whether he had dead convo or not. 

“So say I did go, when is this thing scheduled?”

“Tomorrow.” Lorelai replied. “You honestly don’t have much time to think. Besides you wouldn’t want to let Prince Charming down. I’ve already sent him a picture of you because he was curious and he liked what he was seeing. You are a sight for sore eyes sis.” 

“So you can show him a pic of me without my permission but I don’t know what on earth he looks like? At least you know him and he’s not a complete stranger.” You said, sighing.

“Oh, silly me. I mean I was waiting till you actually met him so you can faint but I guess you can see a picture now.” She pulled out her phone and searched for the so-called Prince in her camera roll. 

She turned the phone to you and you are indeed impressed. It looked like a picture taken not so long ago, Shawn appeared to have the most beautiful chocolate curls which hung from his head into his face. He did need a bit of a haircut but if this date became something more you would tell him. His 6’2 frame wasn’t that tall compared to your 5’10 one but you knew you would have giant kids one day. 

You instantly shook your head and started questioning why you were thinking about a future with him all of a sudden. This was just going to be a tester that would most likely not work out. You laughed at how you thought of yourself ever being with someone was an experiment like you and the one who would date you were lab rats for your own scientific experiments.

You stood up and you heard your phone chime. You looked at the message and it appeared to be from an unknown number. 

Unknown: Hey x

The message read. You were really confused as to why anyone would say hey to you with an x. You were a grown woman for crying out loud, not some teen trying to score a date. You quickly replied.

You: I’m sorry, can I ask who this is? You may have the wrong number. This is not your teenage girlfriend.

After sending the message you groaned. Lorelai looked up and asked what was wrong you told her that a random number was texting you and as soon as you said that she had a look of realisation on her face.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I forgot to tell-“

“I swear Lorelai if you forget to tell me anything else I will kick you out of my house and I will stand that friend of yours up. Would you like that, huh?” 

Lorelai straightened up and to say she looked terrified was an understatement.

“Start talking NOW!” You shouted. The audacity of the bitch honestly, she set you up on some date and doesn’t reveal the whole package that comes with it.

“I may have also given Shawn your number so he can contact you. You know, get to know each other a little so you know that one of you isn’t a psychopath.” 

You shook your head and looked down at your phone as you received another message from the unknown number.

Unknown: I’m sorry, is this not Y/N? My apologies if it isn’t but I’ll have you know that I’m not a teenager! I‘m a grown ass man who thought this was my date. Also this is Shawn”

You managed to laugh at that response. Lorelai stared at you with a smile and said “so you’re getting it on now eh?”

“We are not getting anything on! Now go away”

“Lorelai held her hands up and said “sorry, sorry”

You quickly saved the number to your contacts as Shawn and responded to his message.

You: I’m sorry I thought you were someone else. Yes this is Y/N. Lorelai told me so much about you.

You tried to appear as friendly as possible seeing as you hadn’t gotten off to a good start.

Shawn: Same here. I must say you’re a sight for sore eyes. I cannot wait to meet you tomorrow.

You were flattered by his comments even though Lorelai had just told you exactly the same thing. Were you really a sight for sore eyes? You thought, maybe you really did have a chance of this becoming something more. You quickly typed.

You: Me neither I’ll be counting the minutes.

You might have just lied to him a little. You were counting the hours, but the hours left until disaster. You decided to head to bed and Lorelai insisted on staying the night to help you get ready. You were still a little annoyed at her so you told her to sleep on the sofa even though you had space on the bed.

The next morning, you were dreading getting up because that meant hours of panic and a day with Lorelai was enough, you didn’t need another.

You grabbed your phone and saw that Shawn had texted you.

Shawn: Good morning beautiful❤️

That was sweet. No one had ever done that for you before, yes you had been lonely your whole life. You replied.

You: Good morning.

You didn’t exactly know what else to do than to say it back. You were also testing to see if he cared enough to carry on a conversation and not just leave it at that. 

Shawn: 660 minutes and 30 seconds

You were a little confused so you checked the time and it was nearly 8:00. You googled how much time from 8:00 to 19:00 and indeed it was 660 minutes. 

You: Wow you’ve been counting haven’t you.

Shawn: I would love to say I have but just like you probably just did, I googled it.

You laughed. This man was exactly like you were. You sent him a short message of see you later and :D which was a little weird but you had to get ready.

Shawn had brightened your mood a little when the devil herself Lorelai walked in and bothered your spirits. 

“Good Morninnnggggg, I hope you slept well bitch because you’ve got a big day ahead of you. Plus I don’t wanna see no eye bags.” She said and you rolled your eyes.

“Leave me and my eye bags alone okay. It’s part of the luggage.” You laughed at your little joke. “Get it bags, luggage?” Lorelai only shook her head.

“Get in the shower now bitch you stink.” She said as she shoved you inside the shower. You didn’t take long in the shower usually but just to annoy her this time you took half an hour. Lorelai started banging on the door and you knew you had gotten to her. 

Somehow the devil managed to pick the lock and invade your shower. She opened the curtains and you screamed and turned the shower head to her. She shrieked and held her hand out as if it would do anything. You quickly turned the shower off and grabbed your towel to cover up quickly. 

“What the fuck Y/N?!” 

“What the fuck me?! What the fuck you?! Why did you do that?”

“You were taking too long! Jeez I didn’t know it was a crime to pick locks nowadays.” Lorelai said as she rolled her eyes.

“Actually yes it is a freaking crime! Are you stupid? How many people have you done that to?” You asked

“No one, just you. And my boyfriend, and that guy that came to use my bathroom after we fucked. Oh and my brother because he deserved it.” She laughed.

You gasped and shook your head. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. The devil has been nominated for the peeping Tom award. You came out of the bathroom and told her to get out so you could change. 

You walked around in comfortable clothes for the next few hours. Every hour Shawn would send you a message and it would be him counting the minutes left till you met. Your heart fluttered every time you received a text from him.

It was nearing 6pm when you decided to get ready. You got out your favourite black dress and red heels. You could never go wrong with black. Lorelai helped you with your makeup, you weren’t sure how you managed to trust her with your face but it happened.

You received another message from Shawn but this time it wasn’t how many minutes you had till your date it was.

Shawn: Hey muffin I’m coming to pick you up in 10 minutes.

You: Muffin? And how do you know where I live?

Shawn: Lorelai gave me your address. Don’t worry she only gave it to me for the purpose of the date not so I can stalk you. Although I did look at your house through google maps and damn Y/N when can we move in together?

You burst out laughing when Shawn sent you this message. You didn’t know he could be so funny. You couldn’t wait for this date to happen. You looked at yourself in the mirror and thought you looked good. All that was left was for you to wait for Shawn. 

For the next 10 minutes you and Lorelai were busy making microwaved brownies and boy did that shit burn badly. You both managed to laugh away your sadness as you were both looking forward to eating some when you heard a knock on the door.

You opened the door to find a figure towering over you. You looked up to find Shawn with a handful of roses and he handed them over to you. You said a quick ‘thank you’ as you examined him. His hair was nicely styled but still long as ever. His red suit coordinated with your black dress and you could not forget the bright smile which stood on his face. He was absolutely breathtaking and you were stunned when you saw him do a quick bow and proceed to speak.

“Well my beautiful muffin, shall we?” You took his hand as he led you to his car. You both got in and you couldn’t fight the smile on your face. Shawn appeared to be in the same boat as you were as he couldn’t stop looking at you. You blushed a little until he started the car and you drove off to your destination.

Part 2?

Taglist: @begginyouformendes​ @fallinfortom​ @lostinshawnsmemory​ @shawnscxlvins​ @wholesomemendes​ @theshawnmendesstorycollection​ @goldenhemmings​ @abcdefanfics​ @2018shawn​ @lavenderhoneymndes​ @soft-petey​ @tastymendes​

^^This is where I clocked that I don’t have friends😂.

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this hence why I love this with all my heart. Yes I am 5′10. I actually laughed a few times whilst writing this. Do you think it’s creepy that Shawn was counting the minutes? I find it really sweet that people actually like my writing, so thank you. Tell me what you think, feedback is always appreciated I don’t bite I promise❤️. 

[stellaluna33]

The Phone Call

A preview of what’s coming next in my Gilmore fic The Long And Winding Road, as a phone conversation between Jess and Luke. (You now know more than Rory will in the next chapter... No one knows this except Jess and Luke... and you.)

"Hello?"

"Hey, Luke."

"Jess.  How's it going?"

"Oh, you know.  Just fine.  You still in Nantucket?"

"Yeah.  Rory and Richie came with, as you probably know.  But we also have a, let's say, 'surprise' visitor up here today."

"Reeeeally.  Who's that?"

"Oh, none other than the great Logan Huntzberger himself, who finally deigned to see his son because he could pass it off as a polite visit to a family friend while he was 'in the area.'"

"Jeez.  He still hasn't told anyone, has he?"

"Apparently not.  Claims he's 'waiting for the right moment,' or some kinda bullsh**."

"Bastard."

"You're tellin' me.  But why'd you call?  You don't usually call this time of day."

"Yeah.  Well, I, uh… I got some news today."

"Oh yeah?  What's that?"

"So, I don't know if you remember me talking about that writer's residency program in Argentina last year?"

"Oh yeah, weren't you thinking about applying for that?"

"Yeah.  I did apply for it, actually.  There was a pretty long waiting list, though."

"Oh, I see.  So, d'you hear something about that?"

"Yeah.  Today, actually.  I, uh… I got in."

"Jess, that is fantastic news!  Good for you.  That's a really great opportunity for you."

"Yeah.  Yeah, it is.  I, uh… just… I'm not sure if I wanna take it."

"What?!!  Jess, you can't be serious!  You've been wanting to do something like this for God knows how long!  And now you've got this opportunity and you're just going to let it pass you by?"

"I don't know, it's just… I don't know if it's a good time for me to be leaving the country right now."

"What, you got something goin' on at work?"

"No...  No, it's not that, it's…  I don't know."

"Well?  What is it?  What's stopping you?"

"I just… part of me thinks that I should be here, right now.  In case… you know, in case a... friend might need me."

"In case a friend might-  Oh jeez. Jess.  Tell me you're not talking about Rory."

Jess took a deep breath and then exhaled heavily through his nose.

"Are you serious?!  Jess!  You told me you were over that!  Long over, if I remember it correctly."

"Yeah, well, I was over it!  At least, I thought I was…"

"Oh, Jess."

"I know!  I know.  I'm pathetic.  I swore I would never end up like you, and yet here I am."

"Hey!  Things didn't turn out so bad for me in the end, you know."

"I know.  You're right.  I'm worse.  I already had my chance with Rory, and I screwed it up so badly that she wishes our entire relationship had never happened."

"Jess, you were just a kid. I'm sure that's not true."

"Oh no?  Well, sorry to disappoint you, but that's exactly the way she remembers it."

"Ah jeez.  She put that in that book she's writing?"

"Yup."

"And you've been reading over it, right?"

"Yup."

"Well, sh**.  I'm sorry, Jess."

"Yeah, well, it is what it is, and it's my own damned fault, so I don't really have the right to be put out about it."

"Well, ok, but… that being the case, don't you think it's time to let this go?"

"Past time.  But that's the worst part… I've tried.  G-d, I've tried.  And I thought I was mostly ok with it, you know?  There's been occasional relapses of… regret or… moments when I've wished things could've turned out differently, but… I haven't been hoping for anything.  I've been trying to move on.  I've had relationships."

"You only went on, like, two dates with that last girl, what was her name?"

"Sylvia?"

"Yes, Sylvia!  But two dates, Jess!  You give up that quickly and you call that trying?"

"That's what I'm getting to, though.  This year has been… different.  It wasn't so bad when I only saw her for a few minutes every couple years or so, but between the wedding and the book and everything that's been going on with her lately, Rory and I have been talking all the time, and I just… I still like her more than any other woman I've ever met, Luke.  And I told myself that she hasn't wanted me for over a decade now.  She made her feelings abundantly clear, and I have offered myself up like an idiot over and over and over again, just on the off chance that she might have changed her mind, and she has turned me down every single time.  I mean, how many times does she need to say it before I get a clue?  'No means no,' right?  I'm done.  I'm not doing that again.  So, I guess we're friends now.  She really likes me as a friend, she says, so I'll be her friend and be grateful I get to spend time with her at all.  And I'm doing my best to be ok with that.  So I finally asked Sylvia out, and it was nice.  She's beautiful and interesting, and maybe it coulda gone somewhere… but then you had to go and tell Rory about it.  And she got weird, man.  She called me up, and she was comparing me to Mr. Darcy, and-"

"Am I supposed to know who the hell that is?"

"Are you serious?  You've lived with Lorelai for, what, ten years now, and she hasn't tied you down and made you watch all six f***ing hours of that BBC monstrosity?  Pride and Prejudice?  Jane Austen?  Lorelai going on and on about Colin Firth emerging from a lake in a wet shirt and breeches?  Ring any bells?"

"Ah, maybe.  I think I fell asleep about five minutes in."

"Of course you did.  Well, all you need to know is that he's the romantic hero of the story, but he's a complete ass for like, two thirds of the book, which is obviously where the resemblance lies.  So she's on a roll with that, and hey, I deserve it, but then she throws in the fact that he changes and fixes everything and the heroine can't help falling in love with him in the end.  And what the hell am I supposed to do with that?  Because last I knew, we were talking about me, and that would imply that… I don't know.  All I know is that she got all flustered and started grilling me about my date with Sylvia, that you told her about, thanks so much, and then she starts going on about how she hopes I'll be very happy and how I deserve to be happy and I deserve to be with 'someone who has her life together.'  And then she started crying and frickin' hung up on me!"

"Huh."

"Yeah!  So, that whole thing kinda threw me, and all of a sudden, I'm not so sure where I stand anymore.  I mean, am I crazy?  Is that a normal reaction to hearing that a friend is seeing someone?"

"I don't know, Jess.  It's weird, I'll give you that… but who knows, with pregnant women…"

"Well, yeah, there's that, too… But I went out with Sylvia again, because I was trying, you know?  I owed it to myself and to her to give it an honest shot, but… I couldn't… I couldn't stop thinking about that phone call, Luke.  I couldn't stop thinking about her.  Because what if this was finally, finally a chance after all these years, and could I really just let that slip away?  Could I start a relationship with someone else, knowing that I might be throwing away a shot with Rory?  And I've been saying that there wasn't any chemistry with Sylvia and me, but the truth is, I know that's all on me.  It was awkward because of me, because I was distracted and I was distant and I wasn't sure I wanted to be there.  And Sylvia deserves better than that.  It was better to end it before anybody got hurt."

"Ah, jeez, Jess."

"It's true.  I'll go ahead and say it:  I sabotaged my own attempt at having a happy relationship because I'm still hung up on my highschool girlfriend.  And there it is.  I'm such a pathetic loser."

"You're not a loser, Jess.  You've come a long way.  But she's got a baby now."

"I know that.  And even if she has changed her mind about me, the timing is so bad...  She needs me to be a friend she can depend on right now.  The last thing she needs is the stress of fending off yet more unwanted advances from her crazy ex-boyfriend who can't take no for an answer.  And I can't go there again, I just can't.  So, I'm stuck in this no-man's-land."

"So how is all this stopping you from going to Argentina?  Maybe a few months away from all this would be good for you."

"Maybe… maybe.  But I just… I broke her trust before by leaving.  I made a lot of mistakes, but that?  That was the one she couldn't forgive me for.  And I want to be there for her, I want her to know that she can count on me now, that if she needs me, I am there.  But I can't do that if I'm halfway across the world.  I'd be of no more use to her than Logan is, and I… God help me, I want her to think of me as someone who can give her something that he can't.  And if I go, I can't do that.  And I have this feeling that if I go now, that'll be it for her.  The end.  Three strikes, I'm out.  For good this time."

"Were you planning on leaving without telling her?"

"Well, no, of course I wasn't..."

"'Cause I think that was a big part of the problem last time…"

"Yeah.  I get that.  But what if she doesn't see it that way?"

"Jess, all I can say is maybe you should talk to Rory about it.  See how she feels about it."

"I guess I'll have to."

"For my part, I think you should go.  And she won't be alone, Jess.  She's got Lorelai, and me, and Lane..."

"You're right.  Who'm I kidding?  She doesn't need me anyway."

"That wasn't what I meant."

"Yeah, well, it's probably true anyway.  But it's good to know that she's got you looking out for her.  I'd need you to promise me that, if I'm gonna even consider this."

"You got it."

"Well… thanks for listening.  I guess I'd better go.  I'm gonna call Rory, like you said."

"I think that'd be a good idea."

"Yeah.  Well, talk to you later, Uncle Luke."

"Later, kid.  You… you take care of yourself, alright?"

"I always do.  But thanks."

Thank you for reading. Please, PLEASE share any comments or ask any questions you’re wondering about!  I crave your opinion. What do you think of this?  My muse is in desperate need of encouragement so I can finish writing Chapter 9 sooner rather than later!

[fayevalcntine]

Revisiting some of the articles or posts made after Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life reminded me of how people tend to go back and forth on whether Rory’s writing in the revival was actually in character of her or not, but I feel like none of them ever tend to tackle the seemingly novel idea that hey, maybe it’s not really about whether Rory’s in character while sleeping with her ex-boyfriend while she’s in a relationship with someone else or failing at her career. Maybe it’s how she’s even written in the revival in the first place. 

So many think pieces have focused collectively on the flaws of the revival as a whole, but many also corner in on Rory’s pretty terrible-of-a-joke life in such a demeaning way that it’s often a bit mind-boggling to look at. I’m not saying people can’t criticize Rory, it’s just that the general problem that I come across whenever anyone does talk about Rory, fans especially in question, they always take to saying “Oh, Rory was actually horrible in everything!”. I never really see Rory’s development or regression be talked about the same way Lorelai’s is, one example being how out of all the writing in the revival, people in particular note their frustration with Luke and Lorelai’s relationship and how it feels stuck, but they don’t note on Lorelai and Emily still feuding without any common ground being established, or Lorelai apparently going through a mid-life crisis after her father’s death in this strange sort of parody that feels like it’s not taken seriously. There’s of course numerous factors to consider when discussing it, but to me it’s pretty clear that despite the given focus on Rory as a main character, we’re simply never given moments about herself the same way Lorelai gets them, even when it’s a given that the writing in the revival feels like it’s not even a third in its strength the same way it was in the original series. Sure, we see her sleeping with Logan, we see her failing at her career, we see her only given idea about creative writing being that of her and her mother’s life, but aside from one conversation that she has with Lorelai that starts and ends into a discussion about her seemingly shocking sex life, and another conversation with Jess that simply ends with him fulfilling his purpose of giving her the idea for her book, do we ever see Rory actually consider how or why she’s in this position? And, granted, do we even get an explanation as to why so many things in her life are the way that they are? She’s in a relationship with a guy whose name neither she or her mother can remember, and we’re supposed to accept this as a given. Logan and her are having an affair while he’s in an arranged engagement to be married. When did this affair start? How did it start? Why are they doing this? Why is Rory suddenly ok with being in this arrangement when she’s an established ‘girlfriend girl’? Why is Lorelai of all things suddenly fine with Rory having an affair while she’s already in a relationship with another guy (that granted, Lorelai still can’t seem to remember)?  Why exactly is Rory writing a book for this famous person in the beginning of the revival? How did she even get this job? Doesn’t she write articles as a freelance journalist? Aside from one article published in the New York Times, what else does her career consist of? Does she have experience writing non-fictional longer pieces so that Naomi would consider her a good candidate for writing this book of hers? Whenever anyone says “Rory’s always been like this. She’s cheated and done impulsive things in the past”, I think back to how every single mistake Rory’s made in her life in the original series actually had a solid reasoning behind them for her. She visits Jess in New York because she misses him and is obviously falling for him. She sleeps with Dean because we have an entire season before that where Rory begins to struggle in a new environment, is obviously still hurting over Jess leaving, has to go through him leaving again twice, and Dean meanwhile offers her a comforting shoulder to cry on because he’s ‘safe’ and reminds her of times when she knew what she was doing and had a solid plan ahead of her. She steals a yacht because she’s at the docks with Logan at a party, because she feels dejected and tossed aside by a newspaper conglomerate who boasted about knowing who can make it in journalism or not, and Rory has to face not only rejection, but also dismissal from a man who has seemingly built his career in the same branch as her from ‘scratch’. All of these listed examples always had a reason for why Rory does what she does. In the revival, we don’t know anything. We don’t know why Rory is floundering in her career, we can only take a couple of shots in the dark and assume it’s because of her grandfather’s death, it’s because of her demure nature that she isn’t somehow meant to be a journalist, it’s because she “was always given what she wanted and can’t get that now in her adult life” (which is such a dumb argument since aside from her getting into Yale, exactly what else did she get from her grandparents that is actively shown in the series?). We don’t know why she’s in a relationship with someone whom she doesn’t remember the name of but is also sleeping with Logan. Are Logan and Rory still in love with each other? Is she using him as a skewed source of comfort the same way she was using Dean in season 5? Who knows! This is why I can’t take any “Oh, Rory was terrible from the start” argument seriously as a response to the revival. Your opinion of Rory is your own as you make it, and if you don’t like female characters that make certain mistakes in certain surroundings then that’s completely valid and your choice. But you can’t deny that every reason behind Rory’s impulsive decisions were, in fact, made clear in the series as it went on. In the revival, they’re not. That’s why you get arguments thrown around like this, while simultaneously complaining that the series has bad writing. Sorry to say this, but the bad writing did in fact, influence how Rory came off as. You can’t just complain about Amy flunking her own show before writing think pieces where you state how Rory is actually the offspring of Satan.

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

Not Joyce or Monet

PART THIRTY-NINE OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: major discussions of parent death/death in general, smoking, drinking, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 6.3K

Summary: Jess publishes his second book and Ella receives a troubling call from Stars Hollow.

Flopping face-first down onto the bed, Ella breathed a sigh of relief. It would have felt strange not to have a little champagne at Jess’s book launch party. But, she was a lightweight. She was floating somewhere between tipsy, buzzed, and drunk. At least she was still capable of slipping off her shoes before making her way to the bedroom. She’d even managed to change into pajamas, brush her teeth, and wash her face. A far cry from the screwdriver incident at Liz’s baby shower. A heavy winter snow fell outside the windows and a touch of cold air seeped into the draughty apartment. Goosebumps rose lightly on her skin. In her state, they felt nice instead of uncomfortable. She was already dozing when Jess came in, having taken a quick shower. His hair was still damp as he climbed into bed next to her, the movement shaking her from her haze.

“Did you like your party?” she murmured, watching as he shut off the lamp and rolled over to face her.

His face was aglow with the bluish light of the snowy Saturday evening. “Mhm.”

She snickered a bit at his nonchalance. “I know you hate parties, but Chris insisted it was the best way to drum up business. And you do like surprises, Mr. Spontaneity. Matthew and I made it as lowkey as we could.”

“It wasn’t so bad, Eleanor. Really,” he said, shrugging. “You’re remembering that you whispered lines from Catch-22 in my ear all night, right?”

“I figured you’d need some Joseph Heller to make it through,” she explained, slightly sheepish.

Jess smiled. “Of course. And watching Chris and Leo get so drunk they do their acapella version of ‘Under Pressure’ could never be bad.”

“Leo does do a damn good Freddie Mercury,” Ella agreed, chuckling. “I didn’t realize the publishing agents would all go blackout level, too.”

“Oh, yeah. You should’ve seen what Chris did for the Subsect launch. It was like that scene where E.T. gets drunk. But if there were fifty aliens in the movie instead of just one,” Jess said flatly, begrudgingly.

“You must be a little drunk if you’re letting a cheesy eighties movie slip. Or have I finally converted you?” she teased, snuggling deeper into the pillow.

Jess smirked. “Not yet. Chris made me try his Manhattans to see if they ‘tasted too much like gasoline.’”

“I have a sneaking suspicion that they did,” Ella said.

“Someone give the lady a prize,” Jess shot back tiredly. “Good thing we walked there.”

“Yeah. And good thing I got to watch you catch a snowflake with your tongue on the way back.”

“Shut up.”

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed, cutie,” she said, forcing her laughter down. “I’ll be eating my words when you watch me fall on my ass while we’re ice-skating with April.”

She knew if he’d been entirely sober, he wouldn’t have gotten so caught up in his wonderment at the storm. But Ella had also seen him sticking out his tongue awaiting a snowflake in an old, yellowing photo album Liz had shown off during her baby shower. In it, Jess had been no more than three. Dressed in a raggedy winter jacket on some grimy corner of New York City. He and Liz were sticking their tongues out together. Seeing the photo had given Ella’s mouth a bittersweet taste. It was hard to imagine Jess ever feeling so relaxed around his mother. She saw the same rare awe from him on the walk home. Most of the time, he was so weighed down by the world he could barely come up for air. She thought she had never seen him look so young at heart before.

“Can’t wait,” Jess hummed, mocking. It was nearly time for April’s winter break, and Anna had somehow agreed to let her spend it with Luke, Lorelai, and Rory. Ella and Jess had opted to return to Stars Hollow for Christmas, after the bumps in the road on Thanksgiving. Two more days, and they’d be braving the icy roads on their way up to Connecticut. April had already called them to schedule a time for ice-skating. The proper, analytical way the little girl spoke never failed to amuse Ella.

“Me neither,” Ella quipped as her eyelids began to droop again. She could smell the minty scent of Jess’s shampoo.

As he watched her begin to drift off, he leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead. From what Matthew had said, Ella had essentially been put in charge of the party when Chris’s trademark irresponsibility made an appearance. Matthew had jury duty and couldn’t assume his usual role of organizer in the wake of Chris’s chaotic decision-making. What she’d managed to throw together, though, was one of the better parties Jess had ever been to. The publishers they knew usually sent younger employees to the underground press launches, and Chris had ended up making friends with most of the usual suspects at the launch for Jess’s first book. Ella had made sure the guest list only included familiar faces. If they just had to throw him a surprise party, which Chris demanded (normally, she wouldn’t have listened, but if it was a matter of getting his book better exposure, she was willing to risk it), she’d try to make it as comfortable for him as possible. Or, at the very least, bearable.

And she’d just gotten done with finals two days earlier. He could see how tired she was. Her nerves over the possibility of seeing her father during the winter holidays hadn’t helped her sleeping recently either. Though Jess wasn’t sure how it would actually pan out, she claimed she wanted an attempt at apologizing for what she’d said at Adam’s graduation. She was sick of family nonsense, she said. Maybe if she levelled the playing field, they could begin to understand each other again. Ella herself wasn’t sure exactly what had sparked her desire to try again with her family, but suspected it might have been Thanksgiving. Jess, simply put, was someone she admired. Seeing him trying to mend his relationships (even though he didn’t have to, even though it was difficult), made her feel just a little more confident. Maybe not everything turned out bad, after all.

Shutting his own eyes, Jess slipped his hand beneath Ella’s shirt, his fingertips ghosting over her back. She smiled softly at his touch, feather-light. A pleasant shiver rolled through her.

“Thank you for the party,” he said, barely above a whisper.

“Well, thanks for writing my new favorite book,” she answered instantly, sleepy and sincere. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”

.   .   .

There were still a couple hours left until lunchtime when Ella slipped through the door at Truncheon, but it wasn’t entirely uncommon for her to show up and work a little. Especially when she was on break from school and got antsy. Jess had debated giving her the easel he’d bought her for Christmas early, so she would have something new to focus on while he tied up the odds and ends at the book press. But, ultimately, he wanted to wait until the morning after they returned to Philadelphia. It would be far more surprising to wake up and find a Christmas present wrapped up in the living room on the morning of New Year’s Day than on the actual gift-giving holiday.

When he’d left for his last day of work prior to their trip to Connecticut, she’d still been half asleep. Her sketchbook was open on her bedside table, a pencil drawing of a child with hollow eyes having yet to be shaded. She’d been up late working on it the night before, on a roll. He hadn’t even shut the door to the apartment before she was out cold again. He’d been anxious to get back home, to pack and prepare for the trip. In his opinion, there was no use in only opening for a Monday and then closing for the holidays the rest of the week, but Matthew’s stickler spirit won out. Jess wasn’t going to be skipping around the store in merriment as the rest of the world took a vacation, but he also wasn’t moping around like Chris. He was in the midst of diffusing an argument between his two coworkers when Ella arrived.

He wanted to smile when he saw her, and almost did. But then he got a good look at her hazel eyes, and immediately he could tell something was wrong. It wasn’t that she was sleepy, though she looked a bit haggard in with her peacoat tied around her haphazardly and her hair wild, dotted with the snowflakes falling steadily outside. Instead, she looked almost unreachable. His Eleanor who was always so present and vivid and alive, even in the midst of drudgery. And she wasn’t daydreaming, either. She wasn’t off in her own thoughts, thinking of Emily Dickinson or James Joyce or Claude Monet. No; she was simply not there. Not really.

“Hey, honey. You’re early,” he began as she approached him, where he stood in between Matthew and Chris. The two of them didn’t even notice she’d come in until Jess addressed her, still too caught up in their argument over where to place the new books of free-form poetry.

Swallowing harshly, Ella gave a weak smile and raked her fingers through her hair. She walked up to them, wringing her hands together. Jess didn’t need to see her hands to know she had already bitten her nails down to the quick. At the interruption, Chris gave a frustrated huff and turned to Ella.

“Ella, please tell Matthew it makes zero sense to put the free-form poetry anywhere near the sonnets! They should be on opposite ends of the store, as far as I’m concerned,” he exclaimed in exasperation.

Matthew rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest as his jaw clenched. “I’m glad you’re here, Ella. Please tell Chris that we don’t only sell poetry, and free-form or not, it has no business anywhere near science fiction!”

Furrowing her brows, distracted, Ella shook her head. “Um...I don’t know...but I….”

“What?” Jess asked as she gestured slightly with her hands. Her face was pale, and she almost seemed confused, at a loss for words. It didn’t happen to her often, to say the least.

Blowing out a breath, she tried again, jerking her thumb back over her shoulder. “Back at the apartment...I just got a call from my brother. My dad’s dead.”

Jess’s heart dropped into his stomach. “What?”

“Yeah,” Ella said, nodding. As she continued, she took a hair elastic from her wrist and began pulling her locks into a ponytail. “Adam said he was in a car accident this morning. Driving home from some bar in Maryland. If I had to guess, he was still a little drunk from last night. No one else got hurt, which is good. He hit a patch of black ice, and he was going too fast, and I guess he just went right off the road. Into a tree. And he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt.”

Her speech became more urgent with every word, as they heard it sink in for her in real time. But she was never frantic, only determined and stern. The spacey fog was fading from her demeanor, though it remained in her eyes. Only in her eyes. She didn’t give them time to respond, just kept thinking out loud.

“Noah’s already on a plane from Oregon, but I don’t think he’s gonna be any help. And Adam said Fiona’s freaking out, so I’m almost definitely going to have to make the arrangements. I know you guys have work and stuff, but we need to pack up and get there before the rest of the family does, or everything will probably just explode on principle. Fuck! This is just like him. To die a week before Christmas!”

“Whoa, hey, Eleanor, just slow down for a second, okay?” Jess began, taking a hesitant step towards her and grabbing her hand. He squeezed once, hard, hoping to calm her down at least a little.

“Jesus, Ella-” Chris began.

“I’m so sorry,” Matthew said.

Ella shook her head, her face stoic. “Don’t, okay? Don’t be sorry. No one needs to be sorry. He was a fucking drunk, and it finally caught up with him. I just need to get back to Stars Hollow to take care of this, and then maybe Christmas won’t be completely ruined. Sound good?”

“Elle, just hold on. You should sit down and-” Jess said, but she cut him off.

“No, Jess. Seriously, I’m fine. Let’s just go and get it over with, and then it’ll be done,” she said, her hand never leaving his though she didn’t squeeze back. Her tone was tight, clipped, but she didn’t sound angry. He recognized it from the night on the bridge when she’d told him about the days following her mother’s death. The way she held it all together, and blocked it all out. Numb and headstrong.

“Do you want us to come with?” Matthew asked, watching with uncertainty as Ella began to tug Jess towards the door, grabbing his bag for him and handing him his coat.

“What? Of course not,” Ella said, insistent, as though it were obvious. “All I need to do is steal Jess for a few days. You need to do whatever it is you’re gonna do with Mabel. And Chris needs to do whatever it is he’s gonna do with Leo, and you need to tell me about it when we get back. I can pretty much guarantee your stories will be more fun than mine.”

“Are you sure?” Chris chimed in, brow heavy with worry. Her iciness surprised him. He had never heard someone react to a parent’s death quite so flippantly before.

“Yes. Jesus, Chris, keep up,” she replied, in a way which would have spurred a playful argument on a normal day. Again, her nonchalance unnerved all three of them.

Jess interlocked their fingers again instantly once he had his bag and his coat, almost heading out the door already. She was moving too fast for him to process much of anything, only reacting. He hadn’t seen her in such a frenzy in a very long time. “Eleanor, wait. Stop.”

“I can’t stop, Jess. I told you, we’ve gotta get there before my uncle has time to hit on Fiona and before Noah has time to piss off Adam. It’s fine. I promise. I’m fine.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but she pulled him out the front door instead. As they went, she shouted over her shoulder to Matthew and Chris: “Happy holidays! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

And then, she and Jess were gone. Chris and Matthew exchanged concerned, flabbergasted glances.

.   .   .

Flashback was the word that came to the forefront of her mind, as she stared up at the ceiling in the Gilmore living room. Luke and Lorelai were trying, and she appreciated it. They could both tell she didn’t want to talk about it, only wanted a bit of normalcy after the long day. And they’d obliged. After all, they’d had practice. Lorelai knew exactly what to do. She’d had Luke bring dinner home from the diner: turkey sandwiches and sodas. She’d suggested they watch a movie after dinner, something campy horror. Finally, they had settled on The Lost Boys. Ella knew how much Jess hated the movie, especially Kiefer Sutherland’s mullet, but he never complained once. A large part of her wished he would. She wanted it to be the way it was supposed to be. She wanted to have Christmas in Stars Hollow with the people who felt more like her family than her father did. Adam celebrating with one of his school friends in Boston, Fiona with her sister, Noah with his finacée in Oregon. But, of course, things never went as planned. Not in Ella’s experience at least.

At some point during the movie, she’d fallen asleep on the couch. No matter how much she wanted to stay awake until the end, she couldn’t keep her eyes open. Dealing with Fiona’s blubbering and Adam’s silence and Noah’s anger had pretty well exhausted her. Not to mention the business setting up the funeral at the church. She’d spent nearly two hours with the pastor, but the service was only halfway planned. She wished Aunt Julie could arrive sooner, but the girls were in school until Tuesday. Erin had some big recital she was pitching a fit about missing. Ella couldn’t blame her. She wouldn’t want to be there if she didn’t have to be. No, they would arrive on Wednesday morning. Two hours before the funeral, set for noon. At some point before then, Ella would have to sort out the flower arrangements and the music and the programs. At least Luke was providing the food. She assumed he would before he even offered. And she would have to write the eulogy. But she wasn’t even thinking about it yet. Every time the idea of writing it entered her mind, she would start humming a Stevie Nicks song and pointedly ignore it.

It was all too familiar. The planning, the writing, the consoling. Since they’d arrived in Stars Hollow that afternoon, it had been a non stop barrage of tasks and tears. None of it was surprising. And it almost made her want to laugh. The minute she heard that her mother was dead, she had burst out laughing, a nervous reaction she couldn’t control. Granted, the laughter came from deep inside her, and probably resembled a pained shriek more than an actual giggle. But it was laughter nonetheless, and her father had recognized it as such. He’d yelled at her until his voice became hoarse. She knew it wouldn’t happen again. He was the dead one now, after all. But still, she didn’t let the anxious laughter escape. She didn’t let anything escape. After the punishment she’d received for letting go last time, she knew not to do it again. No one was there to smack her, to scream, but she just couldn’t bring herself to forget how it had felt. Like she couldn’t even grieve right. And the best way to grieve became to not grieve at all.

She laid with one hand on her stomach and the other behind her head, analyzing the popcorn ceiling. She’d awoken with the room dim and the TV shut off. A quilt which she hadn’t fallen asleep under was draped over her, and there were hushed whispers in the direction of the kitchen. She hadn’t planned to wake up until morning, but she hadn’t planned to fall asleep there either. They were supposed to be sleeping in the apartment above the diner for the vacation, while Rory and April took the spare beds in the Gilmore house. But neither girl had yet to arrive, and Lorelai insisted Ella and Jess stay over after dinner. It was no use driving over in the snow, even if Luke’s was only about a minute away. Ella couldn’t believe how similar it all was to before. Sleeping alone on the Gilmore couch as others worried over her a few feet away.

She listened, in spite of herself. It was too tempting not to eavesdrop when she’d already heard her name so many times. Luke was concerned about her forgetting to eat. Lorelai was concerned about her shutting everyone out and being overwhelmed by the funeral preparations. And both of them were concerned about her coming to blows with Fiona at some point in the next few days.

Sighing, Ella ran her tongue over her teeth and remembered she hadn’t brushed them. She debated not doing so, but decided to just bite the bullet. With everything else on her mind, she thought it best to eliminate all the outward elements which might impede her from getting back to sleep. She rolled over on her side, preparing to sit up, when she saw Jess. She thought he’d be in the kitchen, talking with Luke and Lorelai. Instead, he sat on the floor with his back against the sofa. His head was near hers, leaned back. His eyes were closed, but he wasn’t snoring. She doubted he was fully asleep, but nonetheless attempted to get past him and rummage through the bag on the armchair to find her toothbrush. Her stealth proved lacking, however, when he began to stir as soon as she reached the bag.

“Hey,” he said quietly, rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands and doing his best to seem lively. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she replied, fishing her toothbrush out from the sea of clothes she’d thrown into the duffel before they sped away from the apartment in Philadelphia. “I just forgot to brush my teeth.”

“Oh,” he said, nodding and hoisting himself up. His neck was already sore from the position he’d dozed off in, unwilling to follow Luke and Lorelai into the kitchen with Ella asleep on the couch. “Me too. I’ll come with.”

She nodded back, grabbing his toothbrush as well. The whispers didn’t cease until they made their way into the kitchen, Luke and Lorelai looking up at their entrance. Ella debated using the upstairs bathroom, not disturbing the two of them. But she didn’t have the energy to climb the stairs, and it would be the first time she could get a good look at the new half-bathroom they added next to Rory’s room. The smell of the diner food lingered, and it made Ella’s chest feel just a touch less tight. Lorelai broke out into a small smile at the sight of the two of them.

“You need anything, sweetie?” she asked, speaking only to Ella.

Though she felt a bit uncomfortable under everyone’s gaze, Ella smiled back. There was a warmth in her stomach at Lorelai’s voice. She focused on that feeling, and only that feeling. “No, we’re fine. Just brushing our teeth. The dentist would be pissed at me if I broke the pattern after over twenty years.”

“That’s true. Always best to avoid the Sweeney Todd dentistry possibility,” Lorelai agreed, nodding. Then, she yawned theatrically and looked at Luke, who only rolled his eyes at the dramatics. “I think we’re gonna head upstairs. It’s past our bedtime.”

“Still got those four o’clock deliveries, huh?” Jess asked sullenly, eyeing Luke. Many a morning when he was a teenager, he’d been awoken at half past three by the sound of Luke’s alarm.

Luke sighed. “For the business that housed and fed you for two years? Yeah, I do.”

Ella snorted a laugh, and nudged Jess playfully in the ribs. “Like you’re not always up before the sun, even on Saturday.”

“Where do you think that started?” Jess shot back, pointing an accusatory finger at Luke. “He screwed with my internal clock for life!”

“I think that’s enough fuel for future therapy sessions for tonight,” Lorelai announced, rising from the table, Luke following.

“Agreed,” Luke grumbled.

As they exchanged goodnights, Lorelai gave Ella a kiss on the cheek. Immediately after, she scrunched up her nose and smudged the lipstick from Ella’s freckled skin with her thumb. To Ella’s shock, Lorelai also gave Jess a short hug before making for the stairs. Luke hugged Jess,  too. The two of them still had trouble showing physical affection for each other, as they probably always would. Ella had to stifle a laugh at the awkwardness between them.

When Luke hugged Ella, though, she felt tears prick at her eyes for the first time all day. She recognized his familiar smell, the soft feeling of his flannel, his strong arms around her. Somewhere in her mind, it occurred to her that the way it felt for Luke to hug her was what she had always wanted it to feel like when her own father hugged her. And she knew for sure she would never get it from him. She could finally be certain there was nothing left to do to repair her relationship with him. There was no time left for Jake to make her feel as safe as Luke made her feel. As he never had, even in her childhood. But by the time she and Luke broke apart, she had gathered herself enough. She cleared her throat and blinked away the glassy sheen in her eyes.

Luke ruffled her hair as he stepped back from her. If he saw that she was upset, he didn’t acknowledge it. “Don’t worry, kid. We’ll get everything figured out tomorrow.”

“I know, boss,” she replied.

.   .   .

The cigarette smoke made her a bit nauseous, but it was also comforting in a way she was slightly ashamed of. The winter air was crisp and biting, and her cheeks were frosted roses. Embers glowed orange in the darkness as she took a long drag, burning her lungs. She was already regretting it, but she simply felt too tired to think out the actual consequences of what she was doing. She had tried. She really had. But falling asleep, with Jess snoring softly beneath her as they lay on the couch, was absolutely impossible. Fatigue was weighing down her bones, and there was a perpetual ache throbbing behind her eyes. But each time she got close to sleep, the thought of her father would flash across her mind, and she would be wide awake once more.

Once she gave up, she had managed to sneak outside unnoticed. The wind whispered past her, hollow and haunting. But maybe everything was feeling spookier because death was at the forefront of her mind. Then again, when wasn’t it? Though the shock had certainly hit her with full force when she heard the news, she couldn’t bring herself to be surprised. The other shoe had dropped. She knew it would, just when she let her guard down. The moment she forgot to worry, the universe had knocked her down again. She flicked her cigarette and watched the excess ash melt a small spot in the snow below the steps.

At the sound of the front door creaking open, she startled only a little. For a wild moment, she wanted to put her cigarette out and hide it behind her back, pretending to be innocent. Especially if it was Luke. But she had to remember she was a grown up. And the feeling disappeared entirely when she saw only a disheveled Jess wrapping himself up in his jacket as he came out onto the porch and sat down next to her.

“You’re gonna catch a cold out here,” he remarked, holding her peacoat out to her.

She took it with a trembling hand.

“Thank you,” she said solemnly, breathing out a long stream of smoke as she spoke. The coat was old and cheap, and did little to help a Connecticut winter, but she shrugged it on anyway.

He nodded, chewing on his bottom lip. “Don’t mention it.”

They sat in silence, an owl hooting somewhere in the trees beyond the house. Ella didn’t put the cigarette out until it got so small it began to burn her fingers. After she’d discarded it, her breath still puffed out, along with Jess’s, in frigid white clouds. Flurries of snow fell in scattered sprays, but the night was mostly quiet and overcast. Jess crossed his arms over his chest, waiting.

She spoke, as he knew she eventually would, after a few more minutes. Gesturing down to the crushed cigarette, her tired eyes met his. “Do you want one?”

“No, thanks,” he said, shaking his head. “Where’d you get those in the middle of the night in Stars Hollow, anyway?”

A thin smirk ghosted over her lips. “Snatched ‘em off Bootsy’s newsstand.”

“Really?” he asked, laughing slightly, with eyebrows raised.

She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Don’t act so surprised, Mariano. I was sneaking out of my bedroom window long before you got here.”

“Touché.” His eyes lingered on her, hair glistening golden in the soft light and eyes still far off somewhere miles away. He hesitated before he continued. “Did you walk all the way to Bootsy’s without a coat?”

She shrugged, glancing down at the Doc Martens on her feet. “I’m fine. I had my good shoes on. Besides, it’s only like a minute away.”

“Alright.”

“Seriously, Jess. I’m fine,” she snapped after a moment.

“Okay. I get it,” he said instantly. “You’re fine. You’re not cold.”

Ella ran her hands through her hair. Her body shook as she yawned.

“You wanna go back to bed?” he asked.

“No,” she said with a heavy sigh.

“Are you sure?”

“Jesus, Jess! Stop trying to take care of me! Stop asking me questions! Just let me fucking sit here!” Ella exclaimed, huffing in frustration.

Jess recoiled slightly, and he nodded at her again. He ran a hand over his mouth and swallowed down the million other questions which were rising in his throat. The ones she’d refused to ask on the drive up, and the ones she apparently still wanted to avoid. “Sorry.”

She rolled her eyes, mostly at herself. “No, I’m...I’m sorry. I’m just tired. I couldn’t fall asleep.”

“We don’t have to sleep if you don’t want to. We could watch one of Lorelai’s cassettes in there,” Jess suggested, fighting hard to keep his tone light, bracing for whatever reaction she was going to have.

“I love that she still has cassettes,” Ella said wistfully, though not smiling. Her voice was low and raspy as she stared out ahead of her into the darkness and the lightly falling snow.

He nodded a little. “I know you do.”

Ella’s hands were itching to hold another cigarette, but she fought the urge. The pack which sat on the porch steps next to her would almost certainly be crumpled up and thrown in the trash the moment she reentered the house. Along with the lighter. But it was nice to have them there. If she wanted. They sat wordlessly, listening to the rustle of the wind in the evergreen trees. Jess didn’t make a sound. He was just far away enough not to touch her, almost in silent askance of whether she wanted space. She did. And she didn’t want to talk. She didn’t want to talk almost as much as she didn’t want to write the eulogy. She wanted to be able to push down the sorrow and the rage until they just dissolved and she was as happy as she had been just a day earlier. Yesterday, she may have even been hopeful. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt hopeful about her family. But, now, she had to stop herself from reaching for a cigarette yet again. And she felt herself wanting a drink. A drink stronger than champagne at a book launch. And then the words started flowing before she could overthink them, before she could lock them away in her heart forever.

She swallowed thickly, looking down into her lap at her nail-bitten hands. “This is just like it was the last time.”

“Oh yeah?” he whispered, shifting a bit closer to her.

“Yeah,” she echoed, so quiet he almost couldn’t hear. She sniffed. “I mean, last time my dad was the devastated one instead of Fiona. But Adam still got pissed at Noah, and Noah only got more pissed because Adam was mad at him.”

Noah had only made it to town an hour before Ella left to go back to the Gilmore residence for the night, but he and Adam were at each other’s throats pretty much as soon as they saw each other. Upset that his Christmas vacation was being disrupted, Noah had insisted on staying at a motel instead of at the little blue house in which they had grown up. Adam wasn’t happy about it, accusing Noah of acting as though he was too good for them. In turn, Noah asked Adam why he wasn’t mad at Ella for staying with Lorelai. Adam had shot back immediately, saying Noah had abandoned the entire family the minute he could, while Ella stayed behind. At that point, Ella knew there was no way to diffuse the situation. She’d only offered to walk back with Noah to the motel, leaving Adam to sleep in his old room. Luckily, Fiona’s sister was already in town for the holiday. So, it didn’t wholly fall to any of the three of them to console her.

Jess and Luke had both offered to go over to the house with her after helping with the arrangements, but she’d insisted on meeting her brothers there alone. The surreality of the moment didn’t dawn on her until she saw Adam’s teary eyes and Noah’s flushed face. It was like she had stepped into the past. She’d come back to the Gilmore house to find Jess sitting in the living room, halfway through the Russian novel he’d brought with. In the face of his questions, she’d only given him the liner notes and then fallen mostly silent for the rest of the evening.

“And Lorelai and Luke won’t let me brush my teeth without asking me if I need anything,” Ella continued, with a scoff in her words. “And, I love them. I do. And I’m so fucking grateful that it hurts. But, I’m fine. I’m totally fucking fine.”

“So I’ve heard,” he quipped.

“You’re hilarious.”

“I’ve heard that, too,” he said.

She laughed breathily, lifting her head to look up at the sky. “Shut up.”

“Will do.”

Then, after a moment: “I just wish...I wish it wasn’t like this. I mean, he was a shitty dad. But he was still my dad.”

He watched as she chose her words, carefully. Her voice had more emotion than he’d heard all day. Bringing his arm around her shoulders, he hoped to lessen the trembling of her hands just a little. She leaned into him, letting herself feel his warmth but fighting the wateriness in her voice. Of all the things she didn’t want to do, crying was at the top of the list.

“And now...I don’t have parents. I don’t even have a dad who hates me and never calls,” she continued.

“He didn’t hate you,” Jess interjected.

She shook her head. “Yeah, he did, Jess. He fucking hated me. Because I looked like my mom and I didn’t like Fiona and I wouldn’t quit talking back at the dinner table. But it doesn’t bother me. I hated him most of the time, too.”

He hummed in response, listening.

Her face crumpled for only a moment. But, again, she regained her composure. A couple silent tears threatened to slip over. “But at least I had someone to hate, y’know? Now, it’s just...no one.”

She took in a shaky breath, and Jess began to rub circles over her back. He recognized that her shivering was no longer due to the cold but from the sobs she wouldn’t let loose. Ella’s stomach did a flip, as she clenched her hands into fists. But she just couldn’t hold it in any longer. She let a single wimper pass her lips. And then, the levee broke. She put her head in her hands and finally began to weep, cries from deep within her escaping at last.

“I just...I don’t have p-parents anymore,” she spoke through sobs, trying to get her voice under control but failing miserably. “I’m not anyone’s daughter anymore. I don’t belong to anyone anymore.”

Jess shut his eyes for a moment, feeling a crack in his heart as he heard her anguish. But a part of him was relieved she was finally letting it out. He knew not all of her tears were for her father, but for her mother as well. He’d never seen her cry so hard before, so hard she couldn’t catch her breath and she was beginning to feel sick to her stomach. She stopped being able to talk after a while, only crying, folding in on herself.

“I...I don’t...belong to anyone anymore,” she repeated.

Gnawing on his bottom lip again, Jess smoothed an affectionate hand over her hair. He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. Though he couldn’t see her face, Ella felt her cheeks heat up at his seeing her sob so openly. Jess spoke in a clear, strong tone.

“Listen, Eleanor, I know it feels like you’re alone without them, but that’s not true, okay?” he said.

She let out a tearful scoff.

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m serious,” Jess continued, placing a hand on her damp cheek and turning her face gently so she would look at him.

She wanted to avoid his eyes, embarrassed, but simply couldn’t bring herself to look anywhere else. The sight of him almost made her physically relax.

An earnest crease stood out between his eyebrows when he spoke again. “You belong to me, and I belong to you. That’s how it’s always been, hasn’t it?”

She stared at him for a moment, stunned at his words, as tears kept rolling steadily down her cheeks. But then, her lip began to quiver and she closed her eyes. Jess was worried she was about to get angry again. But instead, she slumped weakly against him. He could feel her tears begin to wet the neckline of his t-shirt as she rested her head on his chest. Breathing out long and slow, Jess wrapped his arms around her. He didn’t know whether his words had helped, but he was doubtful. No amount of talking was going to make her feel any better. He couldn’t crack a joke or start a playful argument or do a magic trick. He could only be there. He simply sat and held her against the wind.

[dodgergilmore]

1: Also I would VERY MUCH love to hear more of your thoughts on season 3. It always annoys me to NO END how people who hate them think that fans love them for their season 3 relationship despite the fact that other fans have mentioned numerous times that it's not because they thought their relationship was perfect, but that they didn't get a real chance where both of them were at a better place in their life.

Continued: It's very obvious in the season that their relationship actually DOES work in the sense that they get along when there's no outside pressures in the form of Lorelai/Dean, that they actually like spending time with each other and do dates, but the issue is that we never got enough of that, only the big arguments were placed in the forefront which imo is unfair because it further gives people 'proof' that Dean saying that Jess treats her 'like trash' is true, when in fact it's very much not (also it's just obvious shipper bias how many people, particularly r*gans love focusing on the negative aspects of Lit but just sweep aside all the issues Logan has in seasons 5/6, hell even in season 7 with how he proposed to Rory and then immediately ended their long term relationship when she couldn't say yes to him). It's also more than justified for fans to be intrigued of the possibility of older Lit when both Jess and Rory have their own lives that are more separate from the influence of Stars Hollow/Jess's turbulent past, because not only is Jess more mature, more open and just more stable and sure of himself, Rory now has to make decisions for herself and not based off of what Lorelai or anyone else says for her to do. And, although I'm in the minority with this opinion, even though Rory's writing in AYITL was awful in terms of fleshing out how and just why she is at this state, without allowing people to be more sympathetic, I'm not gonna suddenly go against her being with Jess simply because people think he 'pined' for her all these years when it's clear that he's not holding his life back for her, but merely in his own way, will always love her. And what I mentioned about her and Jess finally having a relationship that isn't influenced by anyone outside of it still stands for this, especially when Rory's gotta put her life back together now and Jess would imo offer support, the same way she tried to do it when he was younger and unsure of his capabilities. But yeah even discrediting AYITL, an adult relationship between them would truly be a positive thing

Okay I’ve had my morning coffee so I am ready + this is definitely going to warrant a read more!

Exactly!! I have never seen anyone claim their season 3 relationship was great. We don’t get to see them just be happy and hanging out together – even though we’re explicitly told they’re together often – unless it’s to set up conflict and I think a big part of that comes from the fact that Milo was already being written out of the show before the characters even got together.

They’ve always liked just spending time together and I love how that ends up being a constant thread throughout their relationship, be it in a romantic context or not, with season 4 being an obvious exception but at that point they were still confronting the completely unresolved ending to their relationship. But anyway, getting back to season 3...

Let me just repeat myself here: Dean cast a looming shadow over the entirety of the Rory and Jess relationship in season 3. That’s not to say that they would have been together forever if Dean hadn’t been there because I think it was inevitable for their paths to diverge (and eventually come back together!) – of course it would have been nice for them to grow together but in terms of canon, I actually like that they got to experience life independent of each other. However, Dean’s presence definitely exacerbated the issues in the Rory and Jess relationship. (I don’t mean to frame this in a way that everything wrong with Rory and Jess’ relationship has to do with Dean, I’m just examining the ways in which his role in the narrative had an influence on their relationship)

The Dean/Rory/Jess love triangle had been building up for almost a year by the time we get to 3x07 so we as viewers are ready for it to culminate in a big, dramatic, exciting way and it certainly delivers in that regard because it made for good television but it’s a shaky starting point for Rory and Jess. Before Rory even has time to cry to her mother, or even just tell her mother about the breakup with Dean, she’s already swept up in a new relationship. For that reason, an interesting “what-if” to consider is what if Dean had ended the relationship once he realised she liked Jess in 2x18? But that doesn’t happen, so from this point on Rory slowly becomes aware of her growing feelings for Jess while still being in a relationship with Dean and she feels guilty, obviously! Once she’s with Jess, she feels like she has to make things right with Dean. On top of that, Rory was always being told by the town and her mother about how Dean was the perfect boyfriend and, oh, she was so lucky to have him as her first boyfriend! Regardless of how false that whole narrative rings to me as a viewer, this puts Rory in a position where she is always comparing Jess to Dean; by Rory’s own admission in 3x09 she says she feels like the town is watching them and she’s right, they are watching! There is this pressure put on her to have her life perfectly together, which is an impossible and even damaging standard to be placing onto any teenager. At this point, Lorelai is still heavily involved in Rory’s romantic life but because Lorelai plays friend more often than mother, she has always made her stance on Jess very clear and consequently, Rory doesn’t feel she can talk openly to her mother when she has issues with Jess and this is unfamiliar territory for Rory. In the first episode with Rory and Jess together, Lorelai is already saying things like, “But I never expected you to be with Dean forever, just like I don’t expect you to be with Jess forever.” As much as she says she’s supportive, Rory never actually feels her support. For these reasons, we don’t get to see much of Rory addressing or confronting her relationship with Jess throughout season 4 – we see her play it cool or “stoic” with Lorelai and the townies but we see it’s an act to some extent when talking with Lane in 4x22 or with Jess – “I have actually thought about this moment. A lot.” that whole speech she gives feels like it’s been something she’s been holding onto for a while and never been able to vocalise. Back to season 3: Rory feels she has to hide things from Jess like she did with Dean because she was always trying to avoid a fight with him (which is.....☹️), failing to realise that Jess is not Dean, and thus begins the miscommunication problems throughout their relationship. All of this to say... Rory has no other point of reference for relationships, so I understand where she is coming from during season 3!

Now for Jess we go back to the 3x07 for a moment: obviously this is all open to interpretation but he looks very surprised and also somewhat guilty during the very public Dean and Rory breakup, which I take to mean... he never wanted it to happen, nor expected it to happen, like this. Jess is very aware of how the town and everyone in it views him in comparison to Dean; there’s an insecurity there for Jess “She picked you.” / “God knows why.” because she never actually did choose him and he doesn’t particularly like himself very much at this point. Which brings me to the point that Jess was simply not in a place to be in a relationship – his communication issues were there before he ever got into a relationship with Rory because it’s easier to not deal with things and allow people to have a low opinion of you so that you don’t disappoint them. He really thought the dinner with Emily would be a one and done thing, which highlights both his inexperience with relationships but also his misconception that this relationship could be just him and Rory, see also: “I don't wanna talk to anybody else. I don't like anybody else.” As much as he may love Rory and Luke, they can’t be Jess’ sole support system and he has a lot of personal growing to do. If we are to assume Jimmy was always going to show up in late season 3, I think that’s something that Jess was always going to want to see through. He definitely makes efforts to do better, particularly after 3x15 (there is no way he or Luke didn’t hear that voicemail...) is when we actually see them at their most chill as they’re having movie nights, they’re talking about Rory’s future at Yale, Lane is supportive, Jess is ready to go to prom without complaints, etc. He went after Rory once she leaves the bedroom in 3x19 but the moment he sees Dean, he gives up and we’re back to the looming shadow that is Dean. Without that shadow, I think they could have at least ended things on better terms.

Rory saying, “I don’t want to deal with this.” after seeing Jess in his car in 4x12 really is a good summation of their romantic relationship lmao 🙃

That proposal really was so.........yikes!!

Yeah, I have never gotten the impression that Jess has been pining after Rory all these years. I remember coming onto the internet after watching AYITL and being so confused by how heated people were with regard to that parting look in Fall. From everything we saw – which was very little, admittedly – Jess seems very content with his life and in a place of stability, continuing to mature and better himself since the last time we saw him. For what it’s worth, my interpretation of The Window Look(tm) is that Jess meant it when he told Luke that he was over Rory, and it’s not something he had been consciously thinking about until he went to the window and was like, “Hm..........” and the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in so many years before Summer is actually kind of... reassuring to me? I guess in my mind, once they become consistent figures in each other’s lives then it becomes more difficult to understand why they aren’t together because it would progress into more. “What’s it been, four years?” / “Maybe more?” does not have to set their futures in stone, leaving no room for development.

I’ve probably said it before but the whole story of first, it was Rory offering Jess support when he was sorting himself out and lacking the stability for a relationship; then it’s Jess offering Rory support when she is sorting out her life and lacking stability is just a very compelling story for me! The parallels! The star-crossed aspect of it all! I would like to see it dot gif

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fic: memories of old, promises anew (rory/jess)

Fandom: Gilmore Girls Pairing/Characters: Rory Gilmore/Jess Mariano, Lorelai Gilmore, Luke Danes Rating: G Word Count: 3,211 Summary: prompt: questions, Jess is ready to propose to Rory. Before he can ask her, he has to talk to a few important people first. And then the one that matters most.

AO3 link 

The ring felt like it was burning a hole in Jess’s pocket, and honestly, at any other moment, he would’ve been nervous about keeping it on his person, in the fear of accidental discovery. But the one person he was afraid of finding it was safely in New York for an interview, and wouldn’t be back until late that evening.

So that left Jess watching her daughter, someone he had thought of as ‘his’ for longer than he would admit out loud, and considering that she referred to him as “Dada” (and no, he didn’t cry when she first called him that, he just got a little teary eyed, thank you very much), she clearly didn’t mind. But Leia was napping and that left him with an even more terrifying prospect than proposing to the love of his life: talking to her mother.

As he slowly approached the couch in the living room of the home that Rory grown up, he had to take a few calming breaths. Lorelai was engrossed in the TV show she was watching, and didn’t even notice him until he was right next to her. She gave him a nod of acknowledgement, before returning to her show.

Sure, they had come a long way since they had met, and she had been more than cordial towards him for years, always fine with him taking up their couch when he visited, and as far as he knew, didn’t even voice any objections when Rory and he started dating again. However, standing in front of her now, he felt like he was seventeen again and not knowing how to talk to her. He knew he had to try though, and Luke was at the diner, so this may be his only opportunity to get to talk to her alone for a while.

“Lorelai,” he said, gaining her attention once more. “Do you have a moment?”

“I have many moments,” she said immediately. “Are you looking for a happy one? A sad moment? More serious?” He stared at her pointedly and she just grinned. “Have a seat, oh broody one. I thought we lost monosyllable man years ago. Nice to see him again.”

He shrugged and sat down on the chair. “I actually had something I wanted to ask you.”

“A full sentence! New Jess has returned,” Lorelai proclaimed gleefully, only pausing to switch off the TV. “What’s up?"

Not sure how to word it, he pulled the ring box out of his pocket and placed it on the table, flipping the cover open to reveal its contents. Of course he should’ve known better, because Lorelai’s eyes widened, immediately glinting with wicked glee, as she put her hand dramatically on her heart.

“Why, Jess, this is just inappropriate,” she began, and he was briefly confused, before she went on full speed ahead. “I’m a married woman, to your uncle no less, and you are dating my daughter! As irresistible as I am, I am not Stacy’s mom or Mrs. Robinson, so you will have to just accept the rejection for what it is. And your proposal skills need work.”

Jess barely refrained from groaning and just raised an eyebrow, causing Lorelai to pout at his lack of reaction.

“When you do that, you remind me way too much of Luke,” she pointed out. “It’s creepy.”

“Well, now you know how we feel with you and Rory,” Jess pointed out, causing her to chuckle.

Growing serious, she added, “It is a pretty ring.”

Jess nodded, picking it up and twirling it in his hand. The white gold ring had a modest diamond in the shape of a circle surrounded by tiny sapphires on each side. He hoped Rory would like it, as he had seen her admiring something similar just a few months prior. “So what do you think?”

“Going to have to use a few more words there,” Lorelai suggested.

“Of me proposing to Rory,” Jess asked. “I guess I’m asking for your permission.”

Lorelai nodded slowly. “I see, so you decided to throw a twist on the old patriarchal tradition of asking the father?”

“Yeah, well, I know the whole thing is outdated, but hey, I figured it’s also a way to give you a head’s up,” Jess explained.

“Why?” Lorelai wanted to know.

“Why what?” Jess asked.

“Why are you asking?” Lorelai clarified. “Rory and you are both adults, and if there wasn’t enough proof, there was a small child sleeping one room away as a reminder. So why do you need my permission?”

“Because it’s you,” Jess said, shifting. “And Rory will always care most about what you think. Plus, I know we don’t have the greatest history. I … well, I wasn’t always the easiest to get along with, and you haven’t said anything about Rory and me now, but-”

“You were also a teenager,” Lorelai interrupted. “I could’ve cut you a little slack.”

“I could’ve been less of a jerk and earned it,” Jess offered.

“You just reminded me so much of …” She trailed off and Jess was a little worried where she was going to go with it.

“Of Rory’s dad?” he asked, trying not to wince.

“Of me actually,” she admitted, letting out a weak laugh, surprising Jess into silence. “You had this ‘do what you want’ attitude, and refused to fit in, even when it would’ve been easier. Except it wasn’t Hartford society, and I guess I believed if you didn’t love Stars Hollow, there was something wrong with you.”

“It certainly is a place that grows on you,” Jess acknowledged.

“And if I hadn’t gotten pregnant with Rory, who knows how I would’ve turned out?” Lorelai said.

“Rory was lucky to have you,” Jess said frankly.

A look of sympathy crossed her features. “Yeah, I was lucky to have her. And that is probably another reason I could’ve been easier you on you.”

“Luke told you stuff?” Jess asked, unable to hide his reaction this time. He didn’t want anyone’s pity.

“Hinted over the years,” Lorelai answered. “And well, I do know Liz.”

“She’s better now,” Jess sighed. He had been worried for years, especially about Doula, but it seemed that as weird as TJ was, he was a good guy, and she had actually settled down in to whatever her version of normal was. And it hurt at first, but most of what he felt these days was relief.

“Yes, she is,” Lorelai agreed. “And you grew up. I have to admit, when Rory told me that you suggested that book to her, I wasn’t thrilled about you two interacting.”

“Oh.” That stung a little, especially since it wasn’t that long ago, and he thought she had been okay with him by that point.

“But,” she said hurriedly. “Clearly, you knew what she needed, and with the way you’ve stayed and how you are with Leia, it’s hard for me to say that you’re not exactly what she needs. And clearly what she wants. So if you need my permission, you have it.”

“Really?” Jess hadn’t known what to expect, but it seemed as if it shouldn’t have been that easy. “I do love her, both of them, and I promise I will always be there for them, and never leave.”

“Jess, I saw you spend thirty minutes putting Leia’s hair into buns so she could be Princess Leia for Halloween,” Lorelai reminded him, her expression amused. “You don’t have to prove anything to me. I can see it.”

He nodded, grateful. “Thank you, Lorelai.”

“Thank you, Jess,” Lorelai countered. “You make Rory very happy, and even Luke is thrilled that you’re around so much. Though seriously, more words when you actually propose okay? You can’t just shove the ring at her.”

And all Jess could do was laugh in response.

In comparison, telling Luke was fairly easy. He was helping him clean up the diner and just brought it up casually, as he wiped down a counter.

“So I’m going to propose to Rory,” he remarked casually, causing Luke to freeze.

“Really?” Luke asked.

“Yeah,” Jess confirmed.

“Huh,” was the response he got.

“Yeah,” Jess repeated. “So what do you think?”

A shrug and Luke told him, “Well, you’re not a prince in line for the throne, but I guess you’ll do.”

“What?” Had his uncle lost his mind?

“Never mind,” Luke said, waving a hand. “You happy?”

Jess nodded. “Very.”

“She seems happy too,” Luke remarked, words that warmed Jess to the core. That sort of affirmation from one of the people who loved Rory the most, especially since it was the person he admired the most, was special. “Good for you two.”

“Well, as long as she says yes,” Jess said, only half joking.

“She’ll say yes,” Luke said confidently.

“Thanks, Luke,” Jess replied.

“Any time, Jess,” Luke told him, as they exchanged smiles and got back to work.

And it was just that easy, as it had been for years with Luke.

With both the blessings that he needed, he only needed to get the one yes that mattered most. So on a bright sunny weekend morning, once Lorelai and Luke agreed to watch Leia, Jess packed a picnic basket full of Rory’s favorite foods and convinced her to go out with him for the afternoon. As much as he would’ve loved to bring Leia along, he didn’t want to bring in added pressure in the case that Rory did decide she wasn’t ready/didn’t want to get married after all.

“So where are we heading?” Rory asked, as they took a walk toward Jess’s chosen destination.

“That would be a surprise,” Jess told her, carrying the picnic basket in one hand, the other entwined with Rory’s. “So you’re just going to have to be patient.”

“There’s food involved,” Rory pouted. “How can I be patient?” She nudged him playfully. “Speaking of which, do I have to bid on that basket?”

“I will let you off the hook this time,” Jess teased. “But I have to say that my food would be much more valuable and edible than whatever I paid for that nonsense you tricked me into eating.”

“Clearly the payment was for the pleasure of my company so the food is irrelevant,” Rory retorted.

“Well, in that case, I clearly didn’t pay enough,” Jess said, grinning.

Her smile widened. “You’re such a sap.”

“Don’t spread it around,” Jess warned. “I have a reputation to maintain.”

“Oh, please, whatever reputation you think you had, you lost ages ago,” Rory scoffed. “Basically everyone in this town has seen you push Leia around in her stroller so you can say goodbye to that bad boy image. Unless it’s Taylor, I guess, who is probably the only one that doesn’t seem to believe that you are no longer seventeen and stealing garden gnomes.”

“Well as long as Taylor doesn’t like me, I’m still doing something right,” Jess remarked, with an easy smirk.

Rory was about to comment, but then she realized that they had arrived at their destination, and her eyes lit up. Much like the rest of town, the pier overlooking the lake was exactly the same as it had been all those years ago.

“Keeping with the theme, are we?” she asked, visibly pleased.

“Yeah, I figured why break tradition now,” Jess offered, placing the picnic basket in the middle. Pulling out a checkered blanket, he set up their picnic and gestured for her to take a seat, which she did, and he took the one opposite of her.

“This looks great,” Rory said admiringly. “I think if your basket was up for bidding, I would have some stiff competition.”

“Clearly my basket is for your eyes only,” Jess told her.

“Dirty,” she teased.

“Oh geez, now you sound like Lorelai,” Jess snarked.

“And you just sounded like Luke,” Rory shot back, causing him to chuckle and shake his head.

“Now that’s terrifying,” Jess said. “I didn’t think the becoming like your parent/parent figure thing happened this early.”

“Well, once you have kids, you are officially in danger,” Rory pointed out. “Though really, the food looks great. You could’ve made a killing a week from now.” Her eyes narrowed. “Wait, was it a coincidence that you chose this date or-?”

“Or?” Jess urged.

“Did the bid a basket happened today all those years ago?” Rory asked, amazed. “No way.”

“Like I said, why break tradition now?” Jess offered. He had a vague idea about the exact date, but one in depth search into the Stars Hollow Gazette archives gave him the answer he was looking for.

“Jess.” Rory softened. “Why?”

“Because,” he explained, “It was one of the first moments.”

“First moments?” she repeated.

“Yeah, that I realized that this, that you were more than just the only person I could stand in town, more than just a girl I had a crush on,” Jess confessed. “Just … more. I don’t know if it was love yet, but it was something more than I had ever felt with anyone else before.”

“Jess,” she tried again.

“And I know I was kind of an ass, and you had someone,” Jess said. “But I couldn’t help it. You were the only one that saw me.”

“Well, it’s not like I did much protesting,” Rory reminded him. “I liked being around you. I always felt most like myself with you. I still do.”

“I think that goes both ways,” Jess said, heart skipping a beat, as she closed the distance between them and kissed him. That part never got old.

“So now we can eat?” she asked, once they had parted.

“I know better than to keep a Gilmore away from food,” he said, mock seriously, as he unpacked the plates and food, dividing it easily.

“Always knew you were a smart man, Jess Mariano,” she proclaimed, as they delved into their food. “And a good cook. I am definitely keeping you around.”

“Well, I don’t have any plans to go anywhere,” Jess promised her, bringing another smile to her face.

“Good,” she said, a touch of smugness in her tone.

As they continued to eat, they made light conversation, Rory eagerly bringing up a new band she had learned about via Lane and Jess was able to tell her about the latest book he had been reading the night before. Squeezing in date nights with a kid around and both of them pursuing their careers was hard, so it was a pleasant change. The ring in his pocket was always at the back of his mind, but he was trying to do his best to enjoy the moment.

As silence fell between them, Rory glanced around sand said, “Man, this place really feels the same. Though I have to say, I’m glad the evil swan is long gone. Mom says she hasn’t seen it in years.”

“Evil swan?” he echoed, trying not to cringe.

“Yeah, we even had a name for it,” she said thoughtfully. She must’ve seen something in his face, because her eyes immediately widened. “Did you see it too?”

“I don’t know if I saw the one you’re talking about,” he admitted, “But I certainly met an evil swan. Do you remember my black eye-?”

“Yes,” she said, recognition dawning on her face. “Are you telling me?”

“I got beaked,” Jess said, old humiliation over the incident coming up to the surface.

“No way!” she exclaimed. “Jess, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was embarrassed,” Jess told her. “I only told Luke.”

“Aww, Jess,” she said, eyes shining with mirth.

“It’s okay, you can laugh,” Jess assured her. “I know it’s ridiculous.”

“I wish you had told me,” she replied, a small giggle escaping.

“Yeah, well, I could’ve said a lot of things I didn’t,” Jess said, as they continued to eat. “Words weren’t always my thing. Probably isn’t completely now.”

“Hey, no self-hating,” she said, poking at his chest. “I didn’t say that to make you feel bad. I was just making a comment.”

“I know you weren’t,” Jess said. “I can’t help it sometimes.”

“We both made mistakes, but we’re here now, and that’s all that matters,” Rory stated firmly. “So deal with it.”

“Worse things in life to have deal with,” Jess insisted. “I love you.”

Her whole demeanor seemed to brighten. “I love you too.”

He would never get tired of hearing it, of saying it. And he couldn’t imagine ever not feeling it. That’s when he knew. He had been trying to figure out the right moment, but he couldn’t imagine a more right one than the one they were sharing.

“Especially,” Rory added, peaking into the basket, “Since you seem to have brought pie. Is that chocolate cream? Because you are outdoing yourself-”

“Marry me,” he blurted out.

“What?” she asked, mouth dropping, hands falling to her side.

In a swift motion, he took her hands, and pulled them both to their feet. She allowed him to guide her a few steps away, and he fell to one knee in front of her. Her blue eyes were watching him in awe. So Jess took a deep breath, one hand going into his pocket of his jeans, to reconfirm the ring was there. Pulling it out, he opened the box and took out the ring, offering it to her. Her eyes didn’t leave his face.

“Marry me,” he repeated. “I love you, I’ve always loved you. I am not sure if I ever really stopped and I don’t think I would ever want to now. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and from the moment I saw you, I knew we were meant to be together. There’s nothing more I want to do than make you happy for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” Rory exclaimed, grinning. He had noticed Rory had already nodding halfway through his speech, but he wanted to say what was in his heart.

“You want to think it over a moment?” Jess teased.

“Hand over that ring, Mariano,” Rory demanded, mock glaring. Jess slid it onto the ring finger of her left hand, before standing up once more.

“Not even married yet, and already bossing me around,” he joked, wrapping his arms around he waist.

“Yeah, well, no take backs now,” she warned, her arms settling around the back of his neck. “There may have been no vows yet, but there’s only one way you’re getting out of this.”

“Somehow I’ll survive,” he drawled, as their lips met in a kiss. She said yes. Somehow, that part hadn’t really settled in his brain until that moment. And he couldn’t stop smiling.

“Keeping me happy for the rest of our lives,” Rory murmured, one they separated. “Pretty big promise there.”

“One I plan to keep,” Jess said seriously.

“Does that include endless supplies of coffee and pie?” Rory suggested.

“Even that,” Jess agreed. “Luke may have a few objections, but we’ll figure it out.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Rory made sure to say.

“I’ll put it my vows,” Jess promised, leaning forward once more.

“Deal,” she agreed, as they kissed again.

And it was a promise that he intended to keep. Now and always.

[incorrect-myinnerdemon-quotes]

For the Abandoned AU, the others coming back to Earth and finding out Pierce isn't dead? Give me it ALL

Before I answer this, I’m gonna say this. For this part, I got a little help from my friend @razzle-zazzle when writing it. But here’s a basic idea/draft of what happens:

Eventually, a few years later Pierce is basically a normal human now that he's adjusted to the customs and culture, he lives with Ava and is basically the big brother she never had. He manages to explain what happened and where he came from exactly, although Ava has a hard time accepting it at first she manages. Then cut to them traveling to Earth, it goes exactly the same way except Ava's apartment is slightly different and bigger due to two people now living in it. It has some ceramic stuff made around the house along with a sort of new style and more food.

Pierce does have a job, he manages, while Ava is trying to get a job to help with rent and food.

So everything happens as it normally does, Johnny brings them to Ava's apartment and they wait for her to wake up. Noi decides to look around Ava's apartment(the living room) and looks at the pictures but one catches his eye; it's Ava with someone else who looks exactly like Pierce in it, he takes it and starts to walk to the others and says "Um, guys? I think you might wanna have a look at this-" Before he can fully reach them Ava wakes up and starts screaming, someone tries to quiet her but no one can.

The door to the apartment quickly opens and slams shut, and now Pierce enters the scene, horns have gone by magic, in his human clothes(except slightly different), carrying a bag of groceries(you gotta go shopping) and slightly panicked because Ava was yelling. He enters in with a panicked look on his face and turns the corner saying "Ava! Are you okay? I heard you..."Ava reaches towards him and says "Pierce HELP! These weird horn guYS INVADED OUR APARTMENT!"

However he recognizes them clearly, their Daemos, the exact Daemos he called his team, that he even managed to call his friends, a group of Daemos that in the past he would have risked his life for them to be safe, however, not now. He drops the grocery bag he was carrying, he's mostly shocked but there are many more emotions he's feeling at this point. Why are they here now, did they come back for him, but why now? So many questions he wanted answers for, for so long and so many emotions and memories flooding back into his system.

He thinks it's all his imagination until he hears Noi say: "P i e r c e ? . . ."

But besides that, once he hears that voice of someone who he wished to forget, the voice he could remember so that way he knows that this isn't his imagination; this is real-life baby. Everything goes silent everyone is trying to process it in their own way.

Pierce is overwhelmed, why is this happening? Why are they here? How are they here? Why now? Why is this so complicated? What about Ava? What are they going to do to her? What are they going to do with him?

Noi is about to cry, he runs and hugs him, they both fall to the floor. Noi hopes for everything he'll get a hug back, any sort of response but no, nothing. It's just not the same anymore, he starts to sob, why isn't he responding back like he used too?

Asch is confused at the sudden onslaught of emotions forced onto him, he's mad and sad but also confused. Why is he here? Why specifically here? Why does it hurt to see him again?

Leif is kind of confused, his memory isn't the best so the sudden emotions put onto him and the name and memories don't make sense. Why does he feel like this? What are these memories?

Rhys is the most confused, especially with the scenario he was given; he though Pierce was dead or ran away, but instead, he's here on Earth. Why? Why Earth? Has he been here all along? Why was he sent here specifically?

And Ava is concerned. How does he know them? Are these the people he mentioned before in his past? Should she trust them? Why are they here now? What do they want with them? Is she safe, is he safe, are either of them safe? She can't trust them.

Eventually, Rhys introduces themselves and suggests they catch up on a few things since this was an unplanned meeting. Or how this actually happened and what's been going on since the disappearance. The groceries do get put up though. They eventually gather into a group circle on the floor, Ava doesn't let anyone sit that close to Pierce and make sure he gets his space, they both get their space, she doesn't trust them. There's no place to start so Ava tries to start from where she found him on Earth, it's confusing.

Then when Ava is trying to explain what happened on Earth and where she found him her phone suddenly rings, it's Lorelai calling her asking her where she is, they were supposed to get lunch and talk about everything that she missed, to catch up. Ava realizes that she and Pierce were supposed to go meet up with Lorelai that day, and Ava forgot.

Fuck-

But then she notices, this is a good way to escape theses boys, get answers, get a break and be there to comfort her friend. So, she excuses herself for a moment to go answer the call, telling Lorelai they'll be right they just got a little held up with things. Ava comes back to silence, an awkward silence, at least no fights broke out.

She somehow gets herself and Pierce out of the apartment and away from the other Daemos.

[wild3flow3r]

Epilogue

2021

Two years. Two years amounted to numerous missed calls, a handful of visits, three consecutive weeks of not knowing whether the relationship would make it, one pregnancy scare, an engagement (because not even Harry could stick to his own plan), and a reunion of the lifetime.

Mister Cunningham, Lorelai’s boss, decided to expand his business to the United Kingdom at the end of last year and he was looking for a new CFO for that office. Lorelai applied for the position, Brian did not. Brian was so sure that the current CFO would retire, like he’d told her he would after two more years. The CFO didn’t retire, Brian didn’t get a new position, Lorelai did. There were many tears shed by both Lorelai and Harry the night she found out.

Now Lorelai’s stood in her new living room holding a paintbrush. Harry bought them a house just like he said he would. Lorelai’s only condition was that it would need a little work done. She wanted them to do it together and make the house their own. Harry comes up from behind her and wraps his arms around her waist and leans his chin on her shoulder.

“Well, you’re not an artist.”

Lorelai playfully swings a punch backwards to land on his shoulder. “Shut up.”

In theory, Lorelai’s idea was nice, but neither she nor Harry really knew what they were doing. Somehow, Lorelai had messed up painting the wall in front of her, and she doesn’t understand how when she’s only been using one shade of blue.

“We can still make the house our own without actually having to do all the work.”

She knew Harry’s been meaning to bring this up to her for the last few days. He was smart to wait until now, when she was at her wits end. “Alright.” Lorelai finally gives in.

Harry presses kisses against her shoulder and up to her neck. “We’ve also got a wedding to plan.”

“Hmm,” Lorelai murmurs while leaning her head back so that she can stare at Harry. She’s been back home for a month now, and she still can’t believe it. Every morning she wakes up feeling like the luckiest girl in the world, and every night she goes to sleep scared that she’ll wake up in the morning only to find out it was all just a dream. “I’ve got a dress fitting this weekend. The workers are probably going to hate me, I’m bringing everybody.”

“Everybody?” Harry asks with an eyebrow raised and a teasing smile. “I wasn’t invited.”

Lorelai rolls her eyes. “I can’t invite one sister and not the other four. Plus my sister-in-law wants to come along too. And of course my mother, along with your mother and Gem. And I think my three oldest nieces are coming as well. That’s twelve people Harry. You get to go to your suit fitting during your lunch break by yourself.”

Harry shakes his head. “My mum’s asked to come to that as well.”

“And?”

“I told her I’d let her know.”

There were no truer words than time heals all wounds. A year after everything had happened, Harry called his mother. He asked her to attend one of his therapy sessions with him, that way his therapist was able to mediate the chat. They’ve been continuously making amends since. Harry’s said before, he loves his mother, he always will, and he can learn to forgive her for her past mistakes, but that doesn’t mean their relationship will ever go back to the way it once was. Xavier has had less luck with Harry, but Lorelai knew that he wanted to reach out to his uncle before the wedding ceremony.

From upstairs, a small yip is heard before there’s some pounding against the stairs. A four month old tan pitbull barrels his way into the living room and face plants against Lorelai’s leg. She can’t help the laugh as she bends over to pick him up.

“Got scared when no one was there after you woke up from your nap, huh Waffles?” Lorelai cradles the puppy against her chest. He only licks her chin in response.

Lorelai can practically hear Harry roll his eyes, from both the puppy's name and from how she’s babying him. As if Harry didn’t do it all the time when he didn’t think Lorelai was watching him.

“You got daddy wrapped around your little paw too, right? I saw him sneak you some of the bacon off of his plate this morning.”

“Because he wouldn’t stop whining.”

“Because daddy likes to spoil his baby, hmm?” Lorelai coos while scratching Waffles behind one of his ears. “Daddy’s got such a soft spot for you. Maybe even more for you than me.”

“I’m going to bed.”

Harry takes two steps back, and at the movement Waffles practically leaps from Lorelai’s arms to Harry’s. He catches him right before the puppy would have fallen into a can of paint. Harry sets Waffles down carefully and starts to walk away again. Waffles follows right on his heels, even nipping at the ends of Harry’s pants.

“Unbelievable. Both of you will be the death of me.”

Lorelai laughs until Harry exits the room with Waffles hot on his tail, and even more when Waffles barks for Harry to carry him up the stairs and Harry groans (because for some reason going down the stairs was okay, but going up them was a tricky task). Harry tries to act like he only tolerates the dog for Lorelai’s sake, but of all the puppies they looked at together Harry was the one to pick Waffles out. And every day Lorelai could see his act slipping away.

“Lorelai! Come get your son! He’s peeing all over the bath mat!”

Well, most days she can see the act slipping away.

~

2023

Lorelai thought she’d only be able to fall in love with one boy with bright green eyes and soft brown hair, but she was very very wrong. Wyatt Styles would also steal her heart. Born on May twelfth, after seven hours of labor, Lorelai and Harry welcomed a baby boy into their small family. Four months later, they couldn’t be more sleep deprived or happy.

Although Harry hadn’t really wanted to be the one to work on the house, he was keen to set up the nursery and build everything himself for the baby. Lets just say, there were lots of bandaids and even a hospital visit when Harry accidentally hit the hammer against his thumb. And he stood with Lorelai every step of the way through the pregnancy. He went to every appointment, every class, and would get up in the middle of the night to find whatever weird craving she was having.

Watching Harry with Wyatt is Lorelai’s new favorite scene. Some nights she’ll wake up to hear Harry humming quietly through the baby monitor, sometimes even whispering sleepy nonsense to the baby while feeding him a bottle. Some nights when she comes home from work, Harry and Wyatt will be napping on the couch together, drool coming from the both of them.

“What’re you three doing?”

Harry and Lorelai alternated in the mornings on who would be awake with Wyatt. This was Harry’s morning, and Wyatt was being particularly quiet, which was abnormal to say the least. Wyatt seemed to love the sound of his own voice, or more the sound of his cry.

Harry snaps his head up at Lorelai’s voice, his eyes frantic as he waves his hand as if to tell her to be quiet. He’s kneeling in front of the couch, Waffles and Wyatt lying together in front of him. Lorelai rounds the couch to kneel next to him.

“I thought you said Waffles isn’t allowed on any of the furniture?” Harry had come up with that rule when they first got Waffles, and while Lorelai didn’t particularly care where Waffles relaxed, she enforced the rule.

“That was before I found out Waffles was the best nanny in the world. Look!” Harry whispers, exasperated but also excited by his new findings.

And he wasn’t wrong. Waffles laid curled up, and against his stomach sat Wyatt. The dog's head was pressed against the baby's stomach. Wyatt pressed his hands all around the dog's face before he looked up at his parents with wide eyes. Waffles stayed there and took Wyatt’s grabby hands like a champ. And for once, Wyatt wasn’t crying.

“Waffles has secret powers.”

Lorelai stares at Harry, her face giving off an ‘are you serious’ look, but Harry was still too busy looking at Waffles with amazement.

“Or our son loves dogs.”

“I’m going to stick with my theory.”

Then Waffles licked Wyatt’s hand, and a sound that sounded awfully like a laugh, his first laugh, passed his mouth. Both parents' jaws drop, before forming into large smiles.

“Waffles has secret powers,” Lorelai finally agrees.

~

2025

“No, don’t want.” Wyatt shakes his head over and over again. He pulls his hand hard enough that Harry is forced to let go of the toddler's hand, and then he runs out into the hallway. Two seconds later he comes back, but he’s tossed over Jones's shoulder and giggling. A ten year old Rebecca enters the room right after them.

Jones and Rebecca moved to London about a year ago. Jones was offered a new job, and Rebecca enjoyed spending time with Lorelai and helping to watch Wyatt, and now Lauren.

“You don’t want what?” Jones asked as he set Wyatt back down on the ground.

“A sister! Asked for a brother!”

The night before, Lauren Styles was born. Now she’s wrapped up in a blanket, being held by her mother. Harry sits on the hospital bed next to his girls, carefully running his fingertips against her face. Blue eyes blink slowly, before closing completely and drifting off for a nap. Rebecca comes up on the other side of Lorelai.

“Why’s she bald? Wyatt had hair when he was born.”

“Some babies are just born bald,” Lorelai explains. “She’ll grow hair soon enough.”

“What’s her name?”

Lorelai pauses before looking up to Jones who is now holding Wyatt on his hip and is standing behind Rebecca. “Lauren,” Lorelai responds. Jones's eyes snap to hers.

“Like my mother?” Rebecca gasps, leaning over the bed to get a better look at her new cousin.

“Exactly like your mother.”

“Daddy used to call my mom Ren, can I call her that?”

“Of course.”

Lorelai shifts so that Harry can hold Lauren. “Do you want to hold her?” He asks Rebecca, who nods enthusiastically. They move to a chair nearby.

“Mummy,” Wyatt whines and reaches out for her, not liking no longer having all of the attention on him. Lorelai opens her arms and Wyatt presses his head against her neck.

“I don’t know what to say,” Jones mumbles, trying to hold back tears.

Lorelai shakes her head. “You don’t have to say anything.”

Jones leans down and presses a kiss against Lorelai’s cheek. “I love you.”

Lorelai playfully pats his cheek. “Love you too.”

“Daddy! Look! I’m holding the baby! All by myself!” Rebecca shout whispers as to not to disturb Lauren.

Even Wyatt looks over at this. He’d been given the option to hold her, but immediately refused. He’d entered the room earlier this morning demanding to see his brother, and was rudely shocked to find Lauren instead. Then he proceeded to run around the hospital, Harry having to chase him up and down the hall.

Rebecca was in fact holding Lauren herself, but with a pillow on her lap to help support her arms. Harry kneeled in front of them just in case, his smile wide. Wyatt scrambles out of Lorelai’s arms and Jones sets him back on the ground. Everyone knew what he was about to do. He seems to copy everything Rebecca does.

“I wanna do,” Wyatt pouts, pulling at his father’s sleeve.

“You want to hold your sister?”

“Please?” He stands on his tiptoes and spreads his arms out. “All by myself.”

“Daddy will have to help a little bit, alright?”

Wyatt pouts, but still he nods. Harry takes Lauren back from Rebecca, who now goes to sit next to Lorelai, and then he takes a seat on the chair. Wyatt crawls into his lap and sticks his arms out again, and Harry places Lauren down in front of them. Wyatt’s arms wrap around the baby but he still looks unsure about her.

“Next time give me a brother please,” Wyatt mutters.

~

2028

Two kids had been the plan, a boy and a girl just like Harry had said eight years ago. But this year they started it with three kids. Now that it’s three months into the year, Lorelai and Harry feel like they’ve been dragged through the mud, but the smiles and laughter make it completely worth it.

Wyatt’s four now, or if you ask him, four years and seven months. He’s a spitting image of his father, but he takes to his mother’s more kind nature. Lauren, now two, has brown curls that fall down her back, and has taken her mother’s brown eyes. She prefers to be the boss, much like her father. Sarah Styles, aged eight months, was born with blonde hair that still hasn’t darkened, and eyes still the color blue.

“Daddy! Wyatt pinched me!”

“I did not! She’s lying!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Please, can you guys be a little more quiet. Sarah’s down for a nap,” Harry begs his children as soon as he enters the living room. “Now, what’s happened?”

“Wyatt pinched me!” Lauren responds, although she does lower the volume of her voice.

“Daddy, I didn’t I promise. She’s only saying that because I don’t want to let her play with my truck.”

Harry kneels in front of both of them. He looks between the two of them, and he knows who is most likely telling the truth. It wasn’t the first time Lauren lied about being hurt, and if she really was then she would have started crying by now.

“Did he actually pinch you, Lauren?”

Lauren stares at her father, but then looks away on the ground. “He wouldn’t let me play with his truck, daddy. My Barbies wanna go to the beach, and his truck can fit all of them.”

“Lauren, we talked about lying and about respecting your brother’s toys. That’s going to be two minutes on the naughty step.”

“Sarah gets to grab at my toys and she doesn’t have to sit on the step!” Lauren pouts and stomps her foot.

“Sarah’s only a baby. If she’s still doing it when she’s a little older then she’ll get punished as well. Now go on.”

Wyatt goes back to playing with his truck gleefully, and Harry stands out of view of the step counting down the time. With his job, most days he’s allowed to work from home. Typically, he has a nanny help him with the kids while Lorelai is at work, but she was taking her vacation this week. Finally, he gets Lauren to apologize to both him and her brother. Then Sarah starts crying, and Harry’s jogging back upstairs.

“Hello? I’m home!”

“Mummy!” Both Wyatt and Lauren scream. They leave their toys forgotten on the ground and race to go to Lorelai.

Lorelai drops the bags of takeout on the ground and kneels to hug both of the children at once. “Oh my, I missed you guys so much.”

“Don’t go then, mummy! Stay home with us.” Lauren whines while pressing her lips against her mother’s cheek. “Want to have a tea party tomorrow.”

Lorelai smiles sympathetically. “I’m sure daddy can have a tea party with you tomorrow, and you can pick any teapot from my collection alright?”

Lauren nodded reluctantly. When Lorelai stands, Wyatt tugs her hand towards the kitchen. “Mummy look what I made in preschool today. Daddy hung it up on the fridge already!”

Lorelai places the bags on the counter now before being dragged to the fridge. Wyatt drew stick figures of both of his parents, himself, Lauren, a really small one of Sarah, and Waffles, although he was drawn to be as big as Harry.

“Good job baby, that’s so pretty.” Lorelai kisses his nose and Wyatt giggles while playfully swatting her away.

“Mummy, me and daddy went to the park today with Sarah and I went down the big curly slide all by myself.”

Lorelai ruffles her hair. “Oh my, you’re so brave baby.”

Harry enters the room then, holding a wiggling Sarah in his arms, and Waffles following close behind them. Both parents are anxiously waiting for the day their youngest finally learns how to walk, knowing she’ll be getting into everything much like the older two.

“Hey Skipper,” Harry murmurs while he’s pressing a kiss against her lips. Wyatt and Lauren both yell in disgust before trotting back into the living room to their toys.

“How was today?” They both know from experience, single parenting for a day with three kids is one of the hardest things any human can endure.

“Alright. No one had to go to the hospital, so I’ll call that a success.” He hands her Sarah so that he can start unloading the food.

Sarah coos at her mother and reaches to play with the teapot charm around her neck. Lorelai blows a raspberry against her cheek, surrounding the room in giggles.

“Zachary’s going to pick Wyatt up from school tomorrow, and Xavier’s coming by my office tomorrow for Lauren and Sarah, and then both of them will drop the kids off by dinner.” Harry tells her as he starts setting the table.

“Your mum’s going to call me tomorrow about the family vacation she wants to plan this summer.” Lorelai says. She puts Sarah in her high chair and begins separating the food onto plates.

Harry comes from behind her and places both of his hands on her hips. He presses his forehead against her neck. Lorelai reaches back and runs her fingers through his hair. He’s come so far these last years redeveloping his relationships with his mother, Zachary, and Xavier. He’s trusting them to help take care of the kids, is willing to go away for a few weeks for a family vacation, and he can have actual conversations with all three of them, even Zachary.

“Thank you,” Harry mutters.

“For what?” Lorelai hums.

“For everything.”

“Like?”

“For the kids. For marrying me. For loving me back. And…” 

“And?”

“For letting me catch you. I’d be lost if you hadn’t.”

Fin.

[doverstar]

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A TUMBLR. This isn't really the ask thing, but I was wondering if I could have some advice? I love how you fit dialogue, action, and keep the point of view of the character. I can write pages of basically script but when I try to turn it into paragraphs... I stutter, falter, and quit.

I DO HAVE A TUMBLR. I WASTE SO MUCH TIME HERE.SO MUCH TIME.

This is gonna be so much reading, be brave.

I’ll try! I’m not used to giving advice, but for you, Jell-O Square, anything. I’m self-taught when it comes to creative writing, remember, so my advice won’t sound like a seasoned scholar’s would on the subject. And I might be doing it wrong? I’ll just tell you my thoughts, okay?

Dialogue is really really fun and really really easy for most people. All you have to do is imagine the character’s reaction to things and pow, you can hear them. (If you know the character. If it’s an original character of yours, take the Myers-Briggs test AS your character and read your results. If you’re like YUP, THAT’S THEM, then you know you know your character. That’s just one test. Not the be all, end all, but it’s an idea.) The hard thing about dialogue (I think) is weaving it in between exposition and thoughts, so that you don’t have pages and pages of just script. Pages and pages of script are fun to read, but only for like two seconds, and then people get bored. And that’s confusing; most people don’t think they want to read ages and ages of non-dialogue, but you’d be surprised how much it’s needed.

I was thinking about this the other day when I was making a sandwich

it was PB&JSo when you sit down to eat a meal you really love (for me it’s pizza, quesadillas, pad thai, burritos, Lucky Charms), and you’re so ready to be satisfied by this food that’s already one of your favorites, you have a drink with it. Let’s say it’s a beverage you also really love–soda, iced tea, blah blah blah. You eat and eat your food and it’s so darn good, but if you’re like me, you wait a significant amount of time before you wash it down with the drink you like. You’re so enjoying the food that you have to wait until you’re nice and thirsty before you drink that drink, and when you do, it’s the best drink ever, following the best food ever. Because it’s so satisfying and feels great to eat the food you love and drink the drink you love. You make it last by weaving it all in together to get the best experience.Stay with me, maybe this isn’t the best analogy? I’m not hungry right now, I swear–

Pretend the dialogue is your drink. And the paragraphs–exposition, the setting of the scene (like the room they’re in, or the trees outside, or the way it smells/how bright it is) and the characters’ thoughts during the scene–the paragraphs are your food. There’s a lot more of your food overall than there is of your drink when you go to have lunch (yes, you can get refills, but there’s still a whole plate/bowl of food and like 12 ounces of liquid). It’s the same with dialogue [drink] and paragraphs [food] for me.You need enough exposition, setting, and character perspective to help the reader feel the scene. They know what the kitchen smells like while the characters argue in it. And they know why Character A just yelled that at Character B because you’re inside her head right before or right after she yells it–that makes the reader understand the characters in the scene and feel connected to the emotions in the room. (At the same time, you don’t wanna tell them everything the character is thinking. Leave some stuff open to the readers’ imagination–that’s where headcanons and fan theories come from–and if you’re not telling them in a paragraph, show them with the dialogue. I struggle with this a lot.) The paragraphs, describing things, whether it’s thoughts, actions, or the setting, are the big plate of food. That’s what the reader needs to make the drink valid. I’m drinking this soda and it hits the spot, but I now I feel like I could go for a nice bag of chips, or a sandwich. Having one without the other is fine, but it’s so much better with both. And the paragraphs are what’s going to sustain the reader, keep them grounded, make them full in the end. Satisfied. If it’s all just soda, just tea, just water, that’s good but it’s only gonna last so long. It’ll only satisfy the reader for so long. You have to keep them interested, and this 2-liter of Sprite ain’t gonna cut it when their stomachs start growling.Okay, I am getting hungry.Dialogue is the drink. (Beat that dead horse, Doverstar. BEAT IT.) It’s fun and sometimes it’s heavy [and if you’re Steven Moffat, it’s ridiculously poetic and people don’t really talk like that, but oh so pretty to hear–]. There’s not a ton of it in comparison to all the paragraphs, and it has to happen sprinkled throughout, or there’s too much drink and nothing really sustainable, nothing to chew on. Dialogue is usually easier to write. If it’s not, that’s another crumbly lesson for another time.Dialogue can be several lines and then a few paragraphs in between, or one line between actions, like body language. Or a line or two between thoughts (or a line or two between LOTS of thoughts, dramatic thoughts, if you’re me). But it should never fill the whole page. That’s too much drink. Now I have to pee and I’m HUNGRY. Not as satisfying!You’re writing dialogue to keep the reader engaged, but for different reasons than paragraphs do. Dialogue brings the characters to life. They each have voices, and they each have reactions to everything. The key (for me) to weaving (for me) dialogue in between paragraphs (FOR ME, MAYBE NOT FOR YOU) is to make sure you’ve got their voices down, so you know when they’ll react and what they’ll say when they do. What would make them suddenly burst out angry? What about this thing that another character did would make them cry? What do they say to explain an unexpected hug? How to they justify this rash action they just carried out? Dialogue also has a lot to do with drama. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s carrying the plot forward or dishing out information, but most of the time it’s drama. The show Gilmore Girls thrives on dialogue. Everyone talks all the time. Fast, loud, witty, they talk and talk and talk. It’s one of the show’s creators’ trademarks. Each character has their own distinct voice, from Lorelai Gilmore to Taylor Doose to Emily Gilmore to Jess Mariano. They’re all different, and you start to predict their general reaction to things before those things happen. Maybe you don’t know Jess is about to spit out a “Whatever!” exactly, but you know the feeling behind what he’s going to say to Luke is similar to one of his “Whatever!”s. It’s helping you get to know the characters in a relatable, personal way. Because we all communicate. I can’t read paragraphs of your thoughts while we’re having a conversation, but I can get to know you by listening to you and watching what you say to different scenarios in our lives. I can ask you questions. And you’ll answer. And then I’ll know you better, little by little. It’s the same with dialogue in a story. You’re getting to know the characters, and the characters are getting to know each other. A drink of something after eating a lot is always welcome. Reading a conversation between Sam and Frodo during their journey in LOTR is heavenly after so much freaking traveling. I know all about the area they just walked through and the worries they’ve got. I don’t need anymore of that, someone please, SAY SOMETHING! My brain is full!Action and POV are tailor-made for paragraphs. Unless you’re my beloved Spider-Man, you don’t need to talk a lot while you’re fighting someone. And unless you’re Doc Brown (great Scott) or the Doctor, you don’t need to think out loud all the time. Writing is one of those easier ways to convey thoughts, especially. Movies and television and comic books can all do action. That’s a lot of what they’re comprised of; it’s what they were made for–motion, or the illusion of motion–to get a story and emotion and adventure across to its audience. Writing is the perfect medium for thoughts. You can use analogies and the 5 senses and the character’s unique voice in a paragraph, helping the reader understand the character in a different way than dialogue would, in your own writing style. In a way that movies can only do through dialogue or the actor’s incredible facial expressions (here’s lookin’ at you, RDJ). You just have to know when to put action and POV in there. Yes, they need to know what the room looks like, what it smells like outside, what kind of year it is. But they also want to know what that character is thinking at this point, how they’re moving, what their faces look like. Dialogue can only show so much. That’s not to say you should be writing miles of paragraphs. Don’t be like me, kids. I need to work on that. But if there’s more dialogue in your story than paragraph, that’s just not a good balance. You need more chicken and less iced tea. Your body isn’t thirsty anymore, it needs something to sustain it for a while! It’s the same with a reader’s brain.Hopefully that helps. I know it was long, don’t kill me! If you read all of that–wow–I don’t–I’m so impressed. I am applauding you. You can’t hear it, but I applaud.And remember, everyone writes differently. Everyone. What works for me may not work at all for you, and you won’t know until you try new things! Everyone says that “what works for some mightn’t work for others” thing, but they say it a lot because it’s true. It’s vague, sometimes it’s unhelpful, but it’s facts. OKAY, STOP TALKING, DOVERSTAR.Love you, Jell-O Square! Let me know if this helps. Remember, practice makes perfect. You’re gonna develop your own style and your own flow the longer you write. The key to any of this is writing. A LOT. Fail a lot so you can get the big fails out of the way and start improving. The better you are, the less doubts you’ll have, and the more freedom you’ll feel like you have. (Really, the freedom was there all along, but the doubts like to hide that from you.)Thanks, J-Square! Gosh, I need to stop typing–

[lyssala]

You’re Idiots, The Both of You

Pairings: Terra/Aqua, Kingdom Hearts

Setting: Early winter; Terra & Aqua are 8 & 7

Rating: K

Notes: OH MAN half way there! I actually only have two chapters left to write for this set but a bunch more to share with you all <3 I really do love writing them as kids (and baby Ven!) so I always knew I’d use this quote as a childhood one for them. It didn’t always take the turn it did but as I was writing it I was like this is exactly something Aqua would worry about and he’d think she was ridiculous for ever thinking it. These sweet buns I swear. Also can you guess where Aqua’s last name came from? Lmao that was the first time I saw her VA so I figured it was a cute little tribute ;3

AO3

10. Snow

“Everything’s magical when it snows, everything looks pretty.”

-Lorelai

Terra was already nearly out the door when he heard his mom calling from the kitchen. He didn’t bother closing the door but he did turn around to see her walking in the hallway, Ven sitting up on her hip as he fiddled with some toy.

“Where do you think you’re going?” she asked, though she at least didn’t sound angry Terra was kind of walking out the door without telling her. He was eight years old after all, that should mean he could go outside alone but his mom worried too much.

“Outside, it’s gonna snow,” he said simply, as it was the truth.

“Don’t you wanna wait till it starts to snow so you can play in it?”

“No, cause then I’ll miss when it first starts.” He paused for a second, knowing his mom was looking for some more explanation. “And I have to go get Aqua and she takes forever to get ready.”

“Ah, there it is,” his mom said. “Make sure you-”

Ven started to wiggle like he wanted to be put down. “No, I want going with Ter.”

“Oh, not this time, Ven,” she said, hoisting him back up. “It’s a little too cold and it’s getting late so Terra won’t be gone that long.” She looked back over to him. “Right?”

Yeah, like he had a choice when she used that tone. “Right.”

“Look both ways before you cross the street and stay in our yard or hers, you hear me?”

Terra tried not to roll his eyes knowing he’d probably get in trouble. “Yeah, I hear you, Mom.”

“Okay, have fun.”

“I can have fun,” Ven said, clearly still wanting to go.

“Oh, you can have fun in here.” His mom waved to Terra who waved back to the both of them before closing the door behind him.

It was pretty cold out but it never bothered him all that much, and it really didn’t bother him when he had a jacket on and a hat over his ears; mainly because he knew his mom wouldn’t have let him go without both. He stopped at the road just in case she was still watching, looked up and down the street before running across and up the steps to Aqua’s porch.

He opened the screen door and hit his knuckles against the door. He knew they were home because both cars were there so Aqua had to be home too. Terra shifted his weight a little as he waited, debating on just opening the door but if his mom was still watching then he’d get an earful about being patient.

The door opened in front of him; though where he expected Mr. or Mrs. Queen he found he was already looking at Aqua. She smiled at him like she hadn’t just seen him after school and used one hand to wave, the other was still holding on to the door knob.

“Hi, Terra.”

“Hi, can you come outside with me?” he asked. No use in wasting time, it could start snowing right now.

“Umm…” Aqua turned her head to the house. “Hey, mom! Can I go outside with Terra?”

“Isn’t it a little late?” Mr. Queen must’ve been closer because Terra could hear Aqua’s dad clearly.

“The sun’s still out,” Terra said. It was true, even if it was hidden behind snow clouds.

“Did you finish your homework, Aqua?” that time it was Mrs. Queen.

“Yes,” Aqua nodded still looking into the house.

“Okay, just for a little bit.” Mrs. Queen came into the doorway behind Aqua who was grinning as she reached up to grab her jacket off the coat hook. “What’s the big rush to be out tonight?”

Why did no one understand? “It’s gonna snow,” Terra said. “The first snow.”

“Ah, of course,” Mrs. Queen said, a smile on her lips. “How silly of me not to know.”

“Ready,” Aqua said, zipping up her jacket as she stepped onto the porch, still trying to shove one of her shoes on her feet.

“Let’s go,” he grabbed a hold of her hand, tugging her down the steps into her front yard.

“Terra,” she laughed but didn’t object, even as he stopped to check the road before pulling her across the street.

He didn’t stop till he took her to the back yard, finally letting go of her hand so he could flop down at the base of the tree that had his tree house in it. That was more comfortable than the ground but it had a roof so not ideal for snow.

Aqua was giggling when she stood in front of him. “Did you really bring me out here cause it’s gonna snow?”

“Yep,” he said, gesturing for her to sit next to him. “It’s the best time of the year.”

“It’s cold.” Aqua wrinkled her nose but she took a seat next to him.

“You’re a baby.”

“I am not.” She rolled her eyes as she brought her knees up to her chest. “You just stay warmer than me.”

It was true. Terra wasn’t really sure why, it’s just how it was. “Yeah but it’s the best when it snows. Makes everything look…I dunno, clean and fluffy. Plus it means Christmas is coming and I know that’s your favorite holiday.”

She gave him a smile but it looked different than before. It was kinda like…she was sad.

Terra’s stomach sank a little. He really knew Aqua loved Christmas, why did she look upset? “Hey, what is it? You’ve always loved Christmas.”

“Oh, no, I do,” she said, but her fingers were fiddling with the string hanging on her boots as she looked down at the ground. “I always do.”

“Then why are you sad?”

Aqua still wasn’t looking at him. “I’m not sad.”

“Yes, you are.” He nudged his shoulder into hers which at least made her giggle a little. “Tell me, that’s what best friends are for aren’t they?”

She smiled that time even if she still wasn’t looking at him. “It’s not Christmas.”

“Okay, then what is it?”

“It’s that the year’s ending.” Aqua tugged at her boots a little.

“Yeah, so? That’s a good thing.”

She shook her head, making her pigtails bounce a little. “No, it’s not, cause I’ll still be in elementary school next year.”

Terra blinked at her. He usually could understand Aqua pretty well, but right now he just couldn’t follow what she was trying to say. “So what? It’s not that bad there.”

“No, it’s not…” She huffed a little, dropping her hands onto the ground. “Terra, you won’t be there anymore.”

The wind blew through their silence as he watched her and she stared at her feet. Well, yeah, he supposed that was true. He was a year older than her so next school year he’d go to the middle school building while Aqua had another year. It’s not like he didn’t know, but at the same time the buildings were next to each other, they could still walk to Cid’s or Master’s together and they still lived a minute from one another. He was about to tell her so, but the sad look in her eyes told him it was bothering her a lot and he probably shouldn’t write it off as nothing.

“Aqua,” he said, causing her to glance up at him. “Are you really upset we won’t be in the same school?”

She shrugged. “Just won’t be the same.”

“Course it will be.” He nudged his shoulder into hers again. “Yeah, okay, we won’t see each other at school anymore but it’s not like we have classes together anyways but we’ll still see each other after school and at home and on the weekends like always. None of that is gonna change.” Terra thought he did a pretty good job explaining his point but Aqua still didn’t look any happier. “I’ll even meet you outside the doors every day so we can walk together, okay?”

She nodded. “I’d like that.”

“Then why do you still look so sad?”

“It’s just…” She propped her chin up on her knees, now looking anywhere but at him. “You’ll be in a whole new school with new people.”

He still wasn’t sure what she was trying to say at all. “Yeah, I know. You will be too soon.”

Aqua bit down on her lip and eyes staring out at the house. “What if you make friends who you like better than me?”  

Terra could only blink at her. She couldn’t possibly be serious. “What are you talking about?”

Her eyes looked a little watery for a second, making him panic thinking she was about to cry. “You’re gonna go to a new school with all these new people you’ll see there every day and what if you want to start hanging out with them more than me, like after school and stuff.”

“That’s impossible.” Terra knew the word was definite and that it shouldn’t be used too lightly but he said it easily. “I might make new friends, I dunno, but you’re my best friend. No one can replace you, Aqua.”

She finally lifted her head off her knees, looking a little surprised, like she didn’t expect him to say that. “You mean it?”

“Of course I mean it, dummy. Promise.” He reached over to nudge his hand against hers.

A smile pulled at Aqua’s lips as she wrapped her pinky around his.

Terra always liked it when she smiled, it made her face seem so much brighter and made her eyes light up; it always made him want to smile too. Though this time, she looked a little different than usual.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, reaching out to her hair where little white snowflakes were clinging to. “It started!”

Aqua blinked up at the sky, eyes watching the snow as it started to flutter down. She held her hands open to catch some but it must’ve been a little too cold because he watched a shiver go through her body as she dropped her hands back to her lap. Terra pulled his hat off his hat and reached it over to shove down over hers.

She giggled a little as she pulled it back up over her eyes, looking up at him. He stuck his tongue out to catch the snow on his face which only made her laugh more.

How could she ever think she was so easily replaced? Terra knew he wasn’t really all that old and had only lived one place his whole life but he also knew there was only one Aqua. That would never change.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

title: "we hide within our veins the things that keep us bound to one another"

An Alvareider fic!! My first. I am trash and I am not ashamed. They’re so in a grey zone between Luke/Lorelai, Barney/Robin and Joey/Rachel and I would go down with all those ships so I am gonna make Alvareider happen.

**CONTAINS SEASON TWO SPOILERS**

Penelope x Schneider, One Day At A Time. Also on AO3.

“That’s what you think, that I just…get whatever I want?”

“Schneider, I worked my ass off my entire life while you were living on your daddy’s money. You do get whatever you want.”

If Schneider were a different kind of guy–if he were the kind of guy he so often pretended to be–it would have happened that night.

“There’s got to be another way to feel happy.”

She couldn’t feel anything half the time and she loved Max but she didn’t trust him, not completely, not yet…so it was Schneider she went to. Even after she’d done her best to ruin their friendship, it was his door she knocked on in her pajamas with her face blotchy from crying.

She had been doing that more lately: turning to Schneider, of all people.

Penelope couldn’t pinpoint the moment when it happened, but at some point Schneider went from being somebody she wanted to lock out of her apartment to the man she trusted with her darkest secrets.

Maybe it was when he came back with Alex, ranting about how he couldn’t keep her son safe, and proved that he was the best one for the job.

Maybe it was when he was there for Elena before she came out, or when he flew her best friend in for her quinces.

She knew it was before he showed up to get her, clean-shaven and with that impossibly bright smile, smelling so damn good it short-circuited her exhausted brain.

It had to be before then; Penelope refused to think she might be that shallow.

What matters is that things shifted when she wasn’t looking, bringing her to his couch with apologies and confessions and her pain and her fear.

And as much as Schneider was an idiot, so casually privileged and cracking jokes at the worst moments…he took her seriously. He gave her the talking-to she needed, and the hugs she needed even more.

He gave her a safe place to land at rock bottom.

After all, Schneider knew rock bottom better than anybody.

What was it about her, Penelope wondered after that, that meant she kept giving up decent, attractive, interesting men for big human-shaped messes with addiction problems?

The difference, of course, between Victor and Schneider was the size of the Grand Canyon. Where Victor lied and avoided and shut down, Schneider was almost painfully sincere. A goofy, open book who had wedged himself into her family until he fit.

Who was working the program, keeping it together, and could talk to her about fucked up brains with personal authority.

Who loved her.

She didn’t think about that often, the way he so easily loved her and her Mami and her kids, the way Schneider made things like that look effortless while she struggled at every turn.

But she knew it was true; she knew that was why it took him less than three seconds to switch from hurt over the horrible things she said to pulling her to him, wrapping his arms around her and trying to comfort before he even knew what was wrong.

He was a good guy.

Which was why nothing happened.

The kind of man she once believed Schneider was, callous and chauvinistic and selfish, could have pressed his advantage, even knowing she was with Max.

Penelope was falling apart in front of him, she came to him when not even her own mother knew what she had done, and after she realized he actually was her best friend now–when did that happen?–Schneider could have made a move.

It would’ve ruined everything, but another man might have tried.

Victor had.

But Schneider didn’t. He tucked a curl behind her ear with that out-of-place sweetness she was still surprised by, and told her she really needed to tell Lydia.

“She loves you,” he pointed out. “She may not get it, but she wants you to be okay. You’re lucky, Pen.”

And with his five moms and distant dad, she knew he was an expert on that. Why else would he have needed the Alvarez clan so much?

She never should have said the things she said–hurting him because she knew he would let her–but they hit the mark because of the parts that were true. Schneider’s life was so empty in the ways that mattered, while in her family and her work she had so much.

In a very real way, Penelope had him to thank for that, because if Schneider had shut the door in her face rather than laying his own pain bare to help her, she couldn’t say she would have ended up okay. But she was.

After Lydia’s recovery, after they both became citizens and things were looking up, she went to him again.

She was back on her meds, she was level, but she still missed Max. Doing the right thing sucked, and Penelope was tired of making the responsible choice and ending up alone.

Kick the father of her children out again because he was never going to pull it together, because she couldn’t trust him?

Tell her boyfriend to go, because it was what’s best for him, no matter how much it hurt?

“Just once,” she told Schneider, who was blessedly alone in his apartment that night, no weird skinny girl hanging around in his t-shirt while he looked at Penelope like she was the only one in the room, “just once I want to do the selfish thing. Not the smart thing, the mature thing, the thing I know I should do.”

“Yeah?” He had an odd expression on his face, but she barely noticed it, too caught up in the pain she kept bringing to his door.

“Yeah. You know, sometimes being a parent really sucks. I can’t just have fun like you, do whatever I want…I have to do the best thing.”

“Penelope, you know you act like I have this charmed life?” Schneider ran a hand over his face and sighed. “It’s not like things are easy for me. I mean, yeah, sure, I’m smart and gorgeous, but that’s no guarantee of a good time.”

“Oh, please.” She rolled her eyes. “Besides the drugs, name one thing that you can’t just wave your money at and have, without even trying.”

“Seriously.”

Schneider was staring at her like she was stupid, which was usually her role in their relationship. It was unsettling.

“What?”

“That’s what you think, that I just…get whatever I want?”

“Schneider, I worked my ass off my entire life while you were living on your daddy’s money. You do get whatever you want.”

He blinked at her for a moment, the silence stretching out between them. Penelope watched as he reached up, very slowly, very deliberately, and took off his glasses.

He had done that before, blinking owlishly at her to make a point, but now there was no reason for it. She frowned, and waited.

There was literally nothing Schneider could have done to surprise her more than pausing while his glasses hit the side table with a quiet clink and then leaning in to brush his mouth over hers.

He could have gotten up and performed a musical for her of his own creation and Penelope would have cringed and tried to flee, but she also would have thought, classic Schneider, and taken it in stride.

This…this shocked her.

What shocked her even more was that she didn’t push him away. She was too stunned to kiss him back, but she let him run a hand up her shoulder to cup the back of her neck.

Before he tilted his head to change the angle of the kiss, Schneider pulled away just enough to focus those nearsighted eyes on hers, searching for consent.

Of course he didn’t push, of course he didn’t offer her some stupid comment to snap her out of the moment…of course he just waited, while she looked back at him and realized this wasn’t actually surprising.

Somehow, it also was not surprising, the way his eyelashes fluttered closed when Penelope crossed the distance to kiss him again. She’d seen how soft and sweet and even kind of delicate Schneider could be underneath that frustrating hipster attitude.

When she kissed him back, curiously more than anything, exploring what this was exactly, and he let out a little sigh with his eyes shut, she felt something that shouldn’t have surprised her at all.

Because the trauma that ran through her blood, that she would carry with her for the rest of her life, it was different from the neglect and the loneliness that ran through his…but it was the also the same.

She and Victor had nearly identical scars, which she thought was a good thing, until it wasn’t. She and Schneider had scars that matched like jigsaw pieces–it wasn’t like looking in a mirror, but it was like taking all worst things she wanted to hide about herself, and realizing they fit.

With him, they fit. He gets it.

He was her best friend and her family and the person she trusted when everything was too much.

She loved him, too.

So Penelope deepened the kiss into his sigh, sliding her tongue against his and almost laughing at the way his eyes flew open…as though he didn’t start this, as though he never expected her to reciprocate.

She remembered the conversation that led them here and realized he probably didn’t. It was her he was talking about, when he insisted he couldn’t always have what he wanted.

Penelope nearly stopped things right there, gave him back his glasses so he looked like Schneider again, and demanded answers. How long had he felt this way, been thinking about it?

Had it been there this whole time, while he ate meals with her family and tried to insert himself into her relationship and was always, always there for her?

She was a little bit afraid of the answer, and even more afraid that he’d want to know the same thing, from her side. She was not ready to think about that.

She didn’t come there to think.

She just wanted a break from being a mom and a daughter and ex-Army, the high achiever who could barely sleep at night. He knew all those sides of her, but it turned out Schneider also saw the side of her that she worried she gave up when she gave up Max. The needy, wanting side, the woman who took risks to be happy.

He looked at her, sitting there in a tank top and jeans and thinking the whole thing over, and Penelope looked back at him, his hair mussed and mouth slightly pink from her lipstick–and she knew he saw her. All of her.

When she nodded to herself and climbed half into his lap and kissed him harder, she swallowed his groan and let herself stop thinking.

After all, this was Schneider.

Whatever came next, she could trust him.

send me a fic title and i’ll tell you what story i would write

[we-pay-for-everything]

Love your metas! I would love to hear why you prefer Rogan to Literati. To me Logan is just so smug, shallow, spoiled and sleazy...? But we agree so much on Bangel and other things about fandom so I am open to changing my opinion!

Hi! Sorry for the late reply. Have been busy ready HP fanfiction *cue eye roll* 

I’m so happy to hear that you love my metas! I was expecting a Buffy/Angel question to be honest, but I love Logan too!

Well, I don’t prefer Rogan to Literati because I prefer Logan to Jess (although I do). It’s not really about Logan or Jess but rather about their dynamic with Rory, their story, etc. 

Literati wasn’t that bad. I think Jess had a number of issues which caused problems in the relationship. He didn’t do things for Rory (like attending town events, unless challenged by Dean). He wasn’t there for Rory like she wanted him to be. They didn’t spend that much time together or shared much of their lives. Jess was hiding his job and his problems. He made Rory cry and doubt herself. He embarrassed Rory by showing up with a black eye at Emily’s and didn’t even justify himself. He left town without a goodbye. Essentially, Jess was not a present, doting boyfriend, and Rory, in particular, was always happier with giving, affectionate boyfriends like Dean and Logan. 

Like I said, Jess had issues and he grew out of them. I don’t blame him very much. It was a short lived relationship. Jess and Rory are better has friends. She chose Dean and Logan over him in seasons 4 and 6, she was actually quite disrespectful at his book event, but she clearly still cares about him as a friend (which the revival proved). 

Rogan, on the other hand, is an OTP of mine. I know they had their issues: Logan’s lack of commitment hurt Rory in the beginning, but she agreed to the casual relationship; Logan’s lack of experience caused some issues (like the bridesmaid debacle which Rory is partially guilty for since she ignored the fact that Logan broke up with her via his sister), and Logan’s occasional bouts of immaturity caused some issues as well. Logan was never perfect. However, unlike Jess, he always apologized for what he did wrong (and he was very specific about it) and he never repeated the same mistake. 

Logan offered Rory the best of both worlds. He offered her the comforts of being rich (lavish parties, diamond bracelets, vacations, etc), but was humble enough to enjoy the small town life as well. He was exciting, but offered security (he was always there for Rory, offered her a home twice, cheered her up and on, etc). He was her intelectual equal but they had slightly different kinds of smarts which challenged Rory. He was easy going and a bit of a slacker but could keep up with her ambitious side if he wanted to. 

More importantly, Logan and Rory loved each other very much and made each other very happy. Even the revival proves that their love and understanding of each other still stands despite their flaws as individuals. 

Lastly, I love Logan for who he is. He grew up, not as a child, but as an heir. He realized quickly that the best way to get attention and to defy his destiny was to rebel. He took advantage of his privilege and indulged in all money could buy. He was young and tried to do the best with what he was given. Yes, he could have been less reckless and wasteful, but he knew he had a few years at best to be everything his father despised before he was forced to become everything he despised. I understand and accept his actions. 

It’s important to notice that while Logan was smug, as a result of his upbringing, he wasn’t arrogant. He didn’t look down on people who had less than him, he wasn’t judgmental, he acknowledged his privilege and became more humble when he lost his money. He was just a young man who still had a lot to learn in life. His smugness was never overbearing, imo, and never crossed the line into actual arrogance, like his father. 

He also wasn’t shallow. He was passionate, knowledgeable, creative. He understood people and life. He had his eyes wide open. He recognized the usefulness and the good of his world as well as the shallowness and the bad. He cared for the people his father intimidated and bullied, he cared for Rory’s well being and that of those close to Rory, he cared for his friends. I never saw him as shallow at all. He gives the impression of being that way but is actually more cunning, perceptive and intelligent than Paris, Rory or Emily. 

Logan can’t exactly be spoiled since he was so neglected. He can be occasionally spoiled but is that really the worst thing ever? Like I said, he wasn’t arrogant. He was giving to those he cared about, he didn’t thrown tantrums when he didn’t get his way. Don’t forget that he fit in both his world and Lorelai’s. Someone spoiled and shallow wouldn’t get along with “lesser beings”.

Finally, Logan isn’t sleazy. Do you believe this because he slept around? If you take Rory as an example, he was very upfront about himself. I have no problems with him sleeping around as long as everyone is one the same page. 

I see Logan as someone who is brilliant, fun, full of life, passionate, cunning, perceptive, adaptable, kind, mature enough to accept his flaws and improve on them, thoughtful. His many qualities more than make up for his misgivings imo.

That’s just my opinion though. Thanks for the ask! I hope I convinced you a little bit :) 

[gilmoremovies]

The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Date Watched: 17th October 2016

Referenced in: 1x10, 1x13, 2x07, 2x17, 2x19, 3x04, 3x05, 3x08, 3x17, 3x21, 4x01, 4x04, 4x08, 4x19, 4x20, 5x04, 5x22, 6x01, 6x03, 6x10, 6x11 and Fall (this is referenced 5 billion times so forgive me if I miss one and let me know if I have!)

Rating:  ★★★★★

SPOILER-ISH

I’m the last of 4 kids so if my older siblings didn’t like a film, I didn’t watch it. This film is an example of that so at the age of 21 I watched Wizard of Oz for the first time. It’s obviously a very popular film so it’s not like I didn’t know the story or the songs but I still thoroughly enjoyed it. The whole witch melting by accident was a bit shit though but other than that Judy you talented thing and her little comrades too #squadgoals. Also Toto is the same dog as Bright Eyes and I loved him even more than I did before.

(Other GG Movies I’ve watched so far)

(Full references under the cut)

1x10, Forgiveness and Stuff (2000) Lorelai says that she needs the Scarecrow to help her when she and Luke are lost in the hospital. LUKE: Ok, we’re supposed to follow the blue line, around the corner and then we should be - LORELAI: Where’s the scarecrow when you need him? LUKE: Ok, we have to ask someone else. LORELAI: No! No! We just have to pick one. LUKE: Ah, well can’t just wander around here aimlessly.    

1x13, Concert Interruptus (2001) Lorelai says, “I’m the good witch of the …” and is cut off. LORELAI: Think fast [throws them a t-shirt each] T-shirts for all the girls because I’m the good witch of the - hey, aren’t you missing a couple of kids?

2x07, Like Mother, Like Daughter (2001) Rory mentions a famous line from the film when asking to sit with the Puffs. FRANCIE: Hey. RORY: There’s a bad draft over there where I usually sit. It’s kind of like a big downward gust. It’s not exactly ‘Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore’, but it’s still pretty darn uncomfortable, especially when you’re just gotten your hair to behave. So can I sit here? FRANCIE: Uhh, yeah.

2x17, Dead Uncles and Vegetables (2002) Kirk mentions his dog named Toto when talking about disliking Louie. KIRK: He kicked my dog when I was a kid. SY: He hit on my wife repeatedly. KIRK: Toto was always different after that. SY: My wife was much affected as well. KIRK: I’d toss her something to fetch and she’d start to run after it and halfway there she’d forget what she was doing. SY: She never enjoyed her soap operas the same after that. KIRK: She’d just lie down and go to sleep. LUKE: This is an exaggeration. BERT: We’re not exaggerating. We threw a big party when he left town! SY: I made love to my life that night like I never have. KIRK: My Toto barked a happy bark, then quietly stopped breathing. She was old.  

2x19, Teach Me Tonight (2002) Lorelai suggests it as a Movie in the Square Night contender.

3x04, One’s Got Class and the Other One Dyes (2002) Lane mentions a song the scarecrow sings from this movie after bleaching her hair.  LANE: It’s weird. RORY: Like straw. LANE: I feel like I should be singing ‘If I Only Had a Brain.’

3x05, Eight O'Clock at the Oasis (2002) Lorelai mentions the name of Dwight’s old house. RORY: ‘First of all, thank you for this very kind favor you’re doing me. I still can’t believe that any one person would be so kind to someone they just met.’ LORELAI: Yeah, apparently Dwight’s last home was Oz, and not as in ‘The Wizard Of.’

3x08, Let the Games Begin (2002) Lorelai and Rory quote the “lions and tigers and bears” chant when walking into Yale. RORY: Wow. LORELAI: Lions and tigers and bears… RORY: Oh my. RICHARD: It’s impressive, isn’t it?

3x17, A Tale of Poes and Fire (2003) Michel mentions the Good Witch when looking for spare rooms to house the guests after the fire. MICHEL: Everything is booked. LORELAI: You checked the Cheshire Cat, the Maiden’s Teacup, the Cookie House, the Sugarbear Inn? MICHEL: Every place that sounds like Glinda the Good Witch threw up, yes – all booked.

3x21, Here Comes the Son (2003) Sasha describes the scene between Dorothy and the gatekeeper at the Emerald City. JESS: I just wanna see Jimmy, okay? SASHA: Hey, did you ever see The Wizard of Oz? JESS: Yes. SASHA: Remember when they go to the Emerald City and they ring the bell and the guy with the beard stuck his head out and they said that they wanted to see the wizard, and he said no, and they said, 'She’s got the ruby slippers’, and he said 'Well, that’s a horse of a different color. Come on in.’ JESS: Yes. SASHA: Well, I’m the guy with the beard and I’m saying the no unless you can come up with the ruby slippers. JESS: I’m his son. SASHA: His son? JESS: Yes, his son. SASHA: Well, that’s a horse of a different color. Come on in.

4x01, Ballrooms and Biscotti (2003) Rory pretends she’s had a dream and quotes Dorothy’s “you were there, and you, and you” line. RORY: [to her clothes] I had a dream about you in Copenhagen. You were there, and you, and you, and you.

4x04, Chicken or Beef? (2003) Rory’s response to Lorelai laying a path of Post-It notes through the house references the film. LORELAI: We’re good as long as we stay on the path. RORY: So I should follow the yellow stick road? LORELAI: We’ll be here all week, try the veal. Stop.

4x08, Die, Jerk (2003) Paris says that the idea of Rory making somebody angry is as absurd as Dorothy pissing off the Tin Man. TANNA: What about you? RORY: Me? JANET: Made anyone mad lately? PARIS: Oh, please, that would be like Dorothy pissing off the Tin Man. It’s impossible.

4x19,  Afterboom (2004) Rory references the lions and tigers and bears oh my! line. RORY: What are you doing here? LORELAI: Inn stuff. I had to pick up hinges and doorknobs and faucets. RORY: Oh, my.

4x20, Luke Can See Her Face (2004) Lorelai makes a reference to watching Toto from The Wizard of Oz. LUKE: No, Roy, I know what I’m talking about. I’m looking for stalks of wheat, not processed wheat, stalks. That’s putting it another way. I need bare-ass stalks. [to customer] Sorry. [to Roy] I know you can’t eat it like that. I just need it for decoration. No, I’m not going poofy on you, damn it! [to another customer] Sorry. [to Roy] I just need to know whether you have it or not. No? Okay, whatever. Thanks. [hangs up] Is there no wheat left in this country? What happened to Kansas? Isn’t Kansas lousy with wheat? LORELAI: I do recall Toto running through fields of it. Coffee to go, please.

5x04, Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too (2004) Lorelai compares Taylor to the Tin Man, calling him heartless. LORELAI: Come on, Taylor. This is ridiculous. TAYLOR: This issue is not open for debate. LORELAI: This is a nice man who is growing some very nice tomatoes, and you just need to oil your knees and go see the wizard and get a heart and drop this!

5x22, A House Is Not a Home (2005) Zach refers to himself and the other band members as various characters from the film when asked if he’ll come on tour. LANE: Zach? ZACH: Well, geez, Dorothy, if Tinman and Lion are going to go, I guess I have to go too. [He pulls himself up like the Scarecrow.]

6x01, New and Improved Lorelai (2005) Paris jokes about the Lollipop Guild while talking about Doyle’s family all being unusually short. PARIS: I’m meeting more of Doyle’s family tonight. I’ve been meeting people for months. (she goes through Rory’s clothes) He’s got like five hundred cousins, and you know what? He’s the tallest one in the family. RORY: Really? PARIS: Yup. Family get-together is like a Lollipop guild convention. I have to stop myself from asking how it’s going at the chocolate factory.

6x03, The UnGraduate (2005) Michel hums the Wicked Witch of the West’s musical theme while talking about Paris. MICHEL: (runs in the kitchen) She’s back! She’s coming back! SOOKIE: No! LORELAI: Why?! MICHEL: I don’t know why. Maybe she left her phone or her spell book. All I know is she’s heading back toward the Inn, and I’m not going out until she leaves.  

MICHEL: Very well. I’ll leave the….wait. Do you feel that? LORELAI: Feel what? MICHEL: An icy chill as if something sinister is approaching. SOOKIE: What? MICHEL: (hums the witch’s theme from “The Wizard Of Oz”) Ta-ta-ra-ta-ra-ra-Taraaaaaa LORELAI: Gee, Michel, is Paris here?

6x10, He’s Slippin’ 'Em Bread… Dig? (2005) Lorelai says she uses the Wash & Brush Up Co. from Wizard of Oz to stay pretty. CHRIS [looking at Lorelai]: I don’t know how you do it, I mean, you always look… LORELAI: Yeah, well, I get the girls from the Wash & Brush Up company from the Wizard of Oz working for me now. CHRIS [chuckles]: Good deal.

6x11, The Perfect Dress (2006) Paris says she hasn’t slept through the night since the first time she saw Wizard of Oz. PARIS: Now, Doyle sleeps very deeply, so don’t worry about the hours. I, as you know, haven’t slept through the night since the first time I saw “The Wizard Of Oz”, thank you Mum, so I tend to do my crafts in the middle of the night, but the walls are very thick. You won’t hear a thing. Oh, now, the hot water in the bathroom…

A Year in the Life: Fall (2016) Several references to this film when Rory says goodbye to The Life and Death Brigade ROBERT: I said he was from New Zealand FINN: Only a man with no heart would say that to me /…/ RORY: Oh Robert don’t cry, your eye will swell up terribly. Here, take your steak. ROBERT: Now I know I have a heart, because it’s breaking. RORY: Goodbye, Colin. I'm going to miss the way that you get drunk and randomly buy things you don't need, like clubs and cars COLIN: And bed and breakfasts? Oh, yeah. RORY: Oh, Colin. RORY: [to finn] You know I think I’ll miss you most of all.  COLIN: Hey, we heard that!  ROBERT: yeh. Thanks a lot!  FINN: Stay photogenic I beg of you.

[templeofgeek]

I first came across Erin, when BBC America shared a piece of art that Erin did on their official instagram. It was a picture she created of Bill Potts from the television series Doctor Who. But I didn’t really start to pay attention to Erin, who is better known by her handle @butternut_gouache, until the news broke about who was cast as the 13th Doctor. I was writing an article on the fan’s reactions to the news.  I shared a piece of art work that she made in tribute to the first woman to be cast as The Doctor. At that point I took the time to really check out her page. I fell in love. Her art work included so many of the fandoms that I loved. From Star Wars, Guardians of the Galaxy to Doctor Who. She even seemed to share my love for Taylor Swift and great fashion.  I have shared her art as part of several different Fan Art Friday posts, that we host weekly on our blog. And since we had featured her art so often,  I figured it was time to get to know her a little better and share her story as well as her art with our audience.

Tell us about yourself.  Hi there! My name is Erin Lefler, and I’m a New York based freelance character designer and illustrator. I’m an all around nerd, so a lot of the times when I’m not doing illustration and character design work, you can usually find me doing fan art or cosplay!

How long have you been making art and how did you get started?

Oh that’s a tough one! I can’t put my finger exactly when I started making art, but I’ve been drawing for pretty much as long as I remember. As soon as I was able to pick up a pencil, I just doodled in pretty much anything I could. But I started really taking it seriously when I met a Disney fine artist by the name of Greg McCoullgh, and he encouraged me to keep drawing. I was really thinking of giving up at that point with my art, so if it wasn’t for his encouragement I don’t think I’d be where I am today with art.

What tools do you use to create your art?

Well I do most of my art digitally, but when I do paintings I use gouache paint! It’s by far one of my favorite mediums. I also have been getting into doing ink drawings, in preparation for inktober which I’m so excited to participate in again this year. When I’m out and about I use my iPad and Wacom stylus as well, which allows me to do digital art as well!

What is it that inspires a design?

Oh just about anything I lay my eyes on! I find life so inspiring! There’s so many beautiful things in life, that it’s hard not to find inspiration from it! A lot of the times I’ll just type the words ‘people’ or ‘fashion’ on Pinterest or google and I typically will combine some photos I find to make a piece. Or sometimes I’ll just draw people I see out and about as practice. Cosplay is also a very huge inspiration for me. I love finding different cosplayers and drawing them. Also music is VERY key for inspiring me. More often then not when I’m working, you’ll find me with over the ear headphones or my laptop playing playlists that I create for each piece. It really really helps me get inspired for sure.

How long does it take to make one of your creations?

That typically depends on how many things I’m drawing in the piece. But normally, it takes me around 3-5 hours to do one piece.

What has been the reaction to your designs been like?

Oh the reactions have been the best! I just love getting to see and hear how happy my art has made people. I’ve had people tell me that my art has made them so happy that they’ve made it their phone screens, that they were so touched by a piece I’ve done that they’ve started crying, and it’s things like that that really make my work worth it.

You have a website that showcases your art and where people can purchase your art, what lead you to put up your website?

I always wanted to have a place where I could keep my art organized, like a bit of a portfolio. So that led me to sitting down and completely coding my own website. And I always get asked about owning a piece I’ve done, so that led me to adding a shop where people could get their own print of whatever piece I’ve done.

What are your hopes for your art and yourself in the future?

Well first, I hope I get to keep doing this for as long as I can. It’s been one thing that’s brought me great joy, and I hope I never stop getting to do it.

Do you have any highlights from your artistic career so far?

Oh I have several! One of my very favorites, is getting to do sketch cards for topps Star Wars Episode VIII Sets. I grew up watching Star Wars so it’s been a childhood dream to get to do something like this. And now that it’s happening, it feels so unreal! Another thing that’s been a real highlight for me is having some of my favorite actors and actresses reposting my art on their social media accounts, and even getting to give some of my art to them in person. I never ever expect that my art will get reposted by an actor or actress, but when It does, I kinda fangirl! I mean it’s really really cool, and I just feel so honored that they actually took the time to look at it!

Are you interested in other types of art?

Oh their are so many different types of art that peak my interest, but the one that REALLY interests me is paper cutting art! I’m trying to do some paper cutting pieces, and it really requires a TON of patience. So hopefully I’ll be able to share some paper cutting pieces with you all soon!

Are there other makers who inspire you?

Oh there’s so many, it’s hard for me to list them!!! But if I had to name a few, I’d definitely say that Brittany Lee, Mary Blair, Liana Hee, and Lorelay Bove have been HUGE inspirations for me. I absolutely adore their work, and they all are such lovely ladies who have helped pioneered girls being in the animation and art industry. Another favorite of mine, I’d say is Glen Keene. He just is an absolute Wonder with concept art (and art in general!) and he has got to be one of my all time favorite artists.

What would you say to someone who is first starting out as an artist? What advice do you have from them?

Good question! I think the best advice I could give is never give up, draw everyday, love what you do, and do it for the right reason. So many people today just do what they do for the likes or the comments, and if they don’t get what their hoping they give up on it. Or when people put them down about doing what they love, they give up. DON’T!!! One of my favorite artists is Vincent Van Gogh. And one of the reasons is because Vincent Van Gogh was hated when he was alive. People mocked him, and yelled at him, just because of what he painted. They said his paintings were rubbish. But he kept on painting because it was what he loved. He never gave up, despite the hate and the anger thrown his way. And now, Vincent Van Gogh is one of the most widely known artists! His work is featured in museums such as the Louvre, the Guggenheim, and he even has his own museum! If he had given up, so many beloved paintings would disappear from these museums. The people who mocked him, well they aren’t even known by name today. So yeah, people will always have something to say about what you do. But DO NOT give up on your art. If you love what you’re drawing, that’s all that matters! If others like it too that’s just an added bonus! And do it for the right reason. Don’t do it for the likes. It’ll just get you discouraged if you do it for that reason. And finally, draw everyday. It’ll give you great practice and will help you to improve little by little. And don’t think it has to be perfect. That’s the great thing about art, each persons art is their own perfect. So don’t compare yourself to others. Practice everyday. Don’t do it for the likes. And love what you do! I think that is the best advice I can give to anyone just starting out as an artist. That advice was given to me when I first started and I think it’s what’s kept my focus in the right place with my art.

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  Artist Spotlight: Erin Lefler I first came across Erin, when BBC America shared a piece of art that Erin did on their…

[danithebookaholic-blog]

Audio Book Extra

 Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (And Everything in Between)

by Lauren Graham, Narrated by Lauren Graham

I personally love audio books. They’re a great addition for the busy person who doesn’t always have time to sit down and read. I discovered the awesome versatility of audio books when I first got into running a few years ago. I was terrible about getting into my head and would discourage myself easily while running and nothing seemed to help. I almost gave up running completely until I decided to give audio books a try. Best. Decision. Ever.

When I first started listening to audio books I checked them out from my local library. Since I didn’t know if this was going to work for me, I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on an audio book to only listen to the first few chapters and decide it wasn’t right for me, because audio books are expensive! (By the way, if you have some that you’re looking to get rid of, please, donate them to your local library. Most libraries have an audio section and some even have an audio section on their website so you can download them directly to your phone or computer.)

Being the bookworm that I am, I went to the library so I would still have the pleasure of looking through the books, and to get the full fledge experience of the smell. There is no better smell than a book! Well, except maybe babies. 😊

Obviously, I found that audio books work great for me. Not only to run half marathons to, but to listen to on all the car trips I take, cleaning the house and mowing the lawn. Anything that is mundane and boring can be spiced up with a good audio book! While in the beginning I went to the library to obtain my audio books, I found that it added to the hassle: not only would I have to make time to go to the library (which at the time had very inconvenient hours and no parking since it was in downtown Morgantown), but then once I got the book home I would then have to download it onto my computer just to then download it onto my phone (because who has a Walkman these days?! Anyone?). It just became a big hassle. So, I finally bit the bullet and signed up for Audible, which, surprisingly, is very reasonable.

Several audio books into my subscription with Audible, I came across the face of one of my favorite actors: Lauren Graham. I knew that if the book was not only written by her, but also read by her, it was going to be fabulous! And so, Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (And Everything in Between) was the next purchase I made with Audible, and what a great purchase it was!

Some History:

Talking as Fast as I Can (published in 2016) is Lauren Graham’s second book, her first being Someday, Someday, Maybe (published in 2013, and one that I hope to get to someday, someday, definitely!) Talking as Fast as I Can is a memoir on Lauren’s life of acting with a special emphasis on her role playing Lorelai Gilmore on Gilmore Girls. (FYI, HUGE Gilmore Girls fan sitting right here!!!) Lauren not only wrote Talking as Fast as I Can, but for the audio book edition of it she narrates it too, which makes it even better!

The Synopsis:

Talking as Fast as I Can begins with Lauren Graham introducing herself and her life to those who maybe don’t know her, and reintroducing herself and catching up like old friends with those who do, or who at least feel like they do. (I’m one of the latter, in case you haven't noticed.) She tells you right off that this book is about her reminiscing about her past and how she got to where she is today and how wonderful it was to play Lorelai Gilmore not only the first time, but getting to come back to play her again. (Ooo! I'm so giddy right now!)

She continues with all her quirky stories of playing Dolly Parton in her junior high school play, skipping a grade in school and how it made her drive illegally later. She talks about Hollywood’s diet secrets (but don't tell anyone that she told you about them!), and how going out with a guy that you meet at an award show probably isn’t the best way to start a relationship.

Most of the second half of Talking as Fast as I Can is about Lauren’s role as Lorelai Gilmore. She has a Gilmore Girl marathon of her own and talks about all the things she remembers and explains why things were the way they we’re in certain episodes—the color of her eye shadow, how big her hair is, and how short her skirts are. She talks about the feelings she and the rest of the crew had when they were filming the last episode (not knowing it was the last episode), and what should have been done differently now knowing that it was the end.

When Gilmore Girls was revised by Netflix, she was ecstatic to get to play Lorelai once more. And a question that she has from here on out is, “This ending is almost not like an ending; it’s like a cliff hanger, right? Am I right?!” And no one seems as bothered about it as she does (well, except me and—I’m sure—all other Gilmore Girl fans out there who have seen it!) This time around, Lauren decided to keep a journal throughout her filming of the reboot of Gilmore Girls and she "reads" directly from it to conclude Talking as Fast as I Can.

The Wrap-Up & Review:

Not going to lie, I cried.

A lot.

Multiple times.

I cried from laughing so hard that I couldn’t stand up straight. And I cried because my heart was breaking from Gilmore Girls ending once again (for a third time to me). I loved Lauren in Parenthood and have loved her in just about everything else she’s ever been in, but Gilmore Girls holds a very special place in my heart. I grew up and connected in so many ways with Rory Gilmore (played by Alexis Bledel), that I’m positive that Amy Sherman-Palladino and Dan Palladino—the writers of Gilmore Girls—followed me around and wrote the part of Rory based off my life. Well, except the part where she sleeps with her married ex-boyfriend. I never did that!

I was in the middle of moving when I listened to this book, and a good chunk of it was listened to on the 4-hour car trip to my new home. When Lauren talks about that first (and last time) that she says her famous line, “I smell snow,” I lost it. I started crying so hard that I had to pull over and cry it out for a few minutes. I'm sure Gandalf (my dog), thought I was crazy. The meaning behind that line is so powerful (and something I have always said, too) that it was needed at that time in my life. Good things always come to Lorelai when she gets whiff of that first snow of the year, and I took it as a sign that this move was going to be a good thing, something that hasn’t always been the case with previous moves for me.

Fast paced and witty just like the characters Lauren plays, this book will have you rolling on the floor laughing and bawling your eyes out all within a couple pages of each other. While most of it may not be the best book for those who aren’t Gilmore Girl fans, it is hilarious with some life advice thrown in that’s great for everyone. Lauren tells the story of her life with such enthusiasm and such a fast pace babble that it’s hard to imagine anyone not liking her. And this book does the same thing.

I’m sure that physically reading the book is great in its own way, but I would highly recommend listening to this one to get the whole feel of how Lauren acts and thinks (not to mention the singing!) For anyone who was a fan of Lorelai Gilmore or Sarah Braverman, (Lauren’s character on Parenthood), this book is a must read. And even if you weren’t I think you’ll still find this book full of laughs and good advice.

 From one wine-loving bookaholic to another, I hope I’ve helped you find your next fix. —Dani

  Love this book? Check out Let’s Pretend this Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) by Jenny Lawson.

Pair it with: Molinari Private Reserve’s Wine Infused Coffee.

While it’s not exactly wine (and no, you won’t get drunk while drinking it) it’s exactly what the Gilmore Girls would drink if they had to drink wine.  Forget about the alcohol, they’re all about the caffeine!  You can get yours here.

Start a conversation: What makes you listen to an audio book? What’s your favorite genre to listen to?

 Have a book you’d like to suggest or one you’d like me to review? Please feel free to leave your comments down below.

[wild3flow3r]

Chapter Twenty

January 3rd

The hardest part about going home for Lorelai was having to leave again. She only had one night left in London, and that reflected in both hers and Harry’s moods. The last week and a half has been amazing. As soon as Lorelai stepped off of that plane at Heathrow on December twenty-third, she started crying. She was home, finally home, only a few more minutes from seeing Harry. She knew from that moment that leaving again was going to be terrible, but she ignored that thought until she absolutely couldn’t.

“I’ll plan a trip for April,” Harry murmurs. They’ve been lying on his bed for the entirety of the day, and even though it’s still early in the evening, the sky has turned dark. For once, he wanted to be the one to hold her while in bed, so he has his head jammed against the back of her neck and his nose tucked underneath one of her ears. His arms are wrapped around her torso, and Lorelai’s grabbed his hands with her own.

Lorelai absentmindedly rubs the heel of her foot against Harry’s calf. “Alright.”

They both know that was unlikely to happen, no matter how hard Harry tried. April would mark just a little over a year since he started his firm. While the first year was crucial for any business, the hard work couldn’t just stop after that. He couldn’t go around just taking breaks whenever he pleased yet, even for just a few days. Taking holidays off was one thing, a vacation is another.

“If not then June,” Harry presses a kiss to the back of her neck. “For your birthday.”

“I’m sorry I won’t be here for your birthday,” Lorelai whispers. It’s been hitting her really hard lately, all of the things she’ll now have to miss because she decided to move so far away. And not even just for Harry, but for her family as well.

“It’s just one birthday. You’ll get to be there for loads more.”

Lorelai nods, although it does nothing to help the knot in her stomach.

It’s silent for a while, and then Harry says,“Whenever you move back to London I’m going to get rid of this place and buy us a house.”

Lorelai turns her head so that she can look at him, but because of their close proximity the only thing she can really focus on is the tip of his nose. “What?”

“And adopt you that dog you wanted. What’s it again? A pitbull?”

“Yes but-”

“And I’m going to propose to you the second you step off of that plane and-”

Lorelai has to cover Harry’s mouth with her hand to finally get him to shut up. “Harry I… I don’t know how much longer I’ll be in New York for. It could be two years, it could be five, I can’t promise when I’ll be back. I don’t want you to make all of these plans if-”

Harry removes her hand from his mouth so that he can speak. “You could be in New York for one hundred years Lorelai, and I would still have every intention of keeping these plans. It’s our future. And I’m going to make it the best years of our lives.”

The feeling to cry hits Lorelai for the millionth time since she’s been home. She settles back against Harry’s chest and nuzzles her head against the crook of his arm. “Alright. Tell me all about it then.”

Harry relaxes behind her. He kisses her shoulder twice. “Okay so I probably won’t propose to you the second you get off that plane. I’ll wait a few hours at least, and I’ll make it something really special. And we’ll adopt our dog, probably name him something like Rufus or Benjamin.”

“Waffles,” Lorelai murmurs.

“Waffles?” Harry sounds almost offended as he repeats her words. “You expect me to allow our dog to be named Waffles?”

Lorelai giggles, feeling pure enjoyment in this moment. “Yes.”

“Alright, we’ll have to discuss the name of the dog further. So we’ll adopt our dog and we’ll move to this nice house somewhere in London. Somewhere where we can make it our forever home. And we’ll get married with a proper ceremony and this huge party.”

“I don’t like huge parties.”

“Skipper, there’s no way this party can’t be huge if we invite your immediate family alone.”

Lorelai shakes her head and scoffs. “Okay you got me there. But only family and our closest friends.”

“So we’ll get married and go on our honeymoon to some place that’s preferably warm. And then we’ll come back home to Rufus slash Waffles and be one happy family.”

“And that’s it?”

Harry wraps his leg around Lorelai’s waist. “Nah, we’ll probably have a couple kids along the way. Two of them, a boy and a girl.”

“Only two?”

Harry nibbles on the spot where her shoulder meets her neck. “Do you want more than that?”

Lorelai shrugs. “Two’s a good number. I don’t know how my parents did it, but I don’t think I could handle having so many kids like they did.”

“So we’ll definitely have two, and if we end up wanting more then we’ll have more.”

“And I want to have more than one dog.”

“Only if we can get some cats too.”

“Alright,” Lorelai nods her head. “It’s a deal.

~

January 4th

Lorelai’s plane is leaving in an hour. She knows she has to check in and be ready for when they call get gate number, but she can’t will herself to move just yet. She and Harry are stood off to the side of the entrance to the building, making sure that they can say goodbye without being in anyone else's way.

“Call me when you get home,” Harry mumbled, his face pressed into Lorelai’s neck with his arms wrapped around her torso. Lorelai has to stand on her tips of her toes so that she can wrap her own arms around his neck.

“It’ll be four in the morning here,” Lorelai mutters back. “You need to sleep.”

“I’ll still be awake,” Harry squeezes her. “Call me.”

“Alright,” she concedes and presses a kiss against his cheek. “I’ll call you, but then I expect you to go right to sleep afterwards, alright?”

Harry nods a little. “Don’t forget to kick that Brian guy in the balls for me.”

Lorelai can’t help the small, sad chuckle that passes her lips. When she’d told Harry that story, he was less than pleased with Brian. He’d gone on and on that Brian was lucky Harry hadn’t been around when he said that. Although Lorelai knew Harry wouldn’t have done anything, because, well, she wouldn’t have let him, the thought of it was nice.

“I’ll make him pay,” Lorelai tells him, obviously teasing.

Harry moves back, but only enough so that he can now press small repeated kisses against her lips. “I’m going to miss you, Skipper. A whole lot.”

“I’ll miss you a whole lot too.” Lorelai presses her palm against one of Harry’s cheeks before dragging it upwards to get his hair out of his face. “I should go.”

Harry lets out a soft sigh before agreeing. He presses one more kiss to her mouth before letting her go. Lorelai squeezes his hand before letting go and shouldering her carry-on bag. She’s only made it two steps away when Harry grabs onto her hand again and pulls her back to face him.

“Harry I-”

“I love you.”

Lorelai stops, her mouth hanging open from being mid-word. Harry is watching her intently, his eyes showing amusement at her faltering, but also a nervousness like he was scared he moved too quickly. He squeezes her hand now.

Lorelai’s heart shines, and she’s sure that’s shown on her face when Harry’s starts to look relieved. She can’t help the sob that comes from her when she jumps onto Harry. She wraps her arms around his neck again, and now has her legs wrapped around his waist as well. Harry holds her up, nuzzling his face against her hair.

“I love you too,” Lorelai finally tells him back after taking a minute to gather her bearings.

Those three words simultaneously made leaving easier and harder. Easier because finally finally finally, this marked them leaving everything that happened last summer behind them. It marked a new step in their relationship that they hadn’t been able to get to before. Lorelai would be able to leave London knowing exactly where she and Harry stood, knowing exactly that no matter how far away she lived, there would always be a man named Harry who lived in London that loved her. Harder because Lorelai now had to leave to get on a plane to live somewhere eight hours away, not exactly knowing the next time she would be able to see Harry Styles. Saying I love you to someone always meant that afterwards you’d get to stay in bed with the other person and whisper sweet nothings, at least that’s what it did to her. And now she couldn’t do that.

“You’re going to do amazing things in New York, Skipper. You’re going to run circles around all of those men in your office. And once you dominate them and that office, whenever you feel it’s right, you’ll come home to me. We’ll start our future together and we’ll be happy. I won’t let anything ruin our chances of that, not again.”

Lorelai is still crying, but it’s calmed down to a few tears and sniffles now. “I won’t take too long,” she whispers while Harry sets her back down onto her feet. “I’ll have them running circles around me in no time.”

Harry laughs quietly. “Oh, I know you will.”

Lorelai grabs Harry by the shoulders and drags him down so she can press a final kiss against his mouth. “I love you.”

Harry nudges her nose with his. “Love you.” He lets her go, this time with every intention to not grab onto her again.

Lorelai turns around, albeit reluctantly. She makes her way through the airport towards the escalator. It’s taking everything in her not to turn around every few seconds, but she knows if she does then it’ll just cause her to run back to him. Only when she’s reached the top of the escalator, when there’s no other chance past this one where she would be able to turn around and see Harry does she do it.

His posture is tight, like he is having all of the same problems that Lorelai had. But his smile is wide when he catches her eyes, and he sends her a final wave. Lorelai waves back and even sends a kiss, causing Harry to roll his eyes but catching it nonetheless just to see her laugh one more time before she leaves. She does. And then she walks away.