#Now I have to make a BRAND NEW DOC I hate this

[kianamaiart]

Growing an audience takes time and getting people to care about your characters can often take more time. I've done a bunch of OCs in the past but none of them really got traction until my IDWTBAMG OCs. I steadily grew my social media following for well over a decade. A lot of checking socialblade, looking at analytics and generally drawing/posting everyday. I have a whole doc available about this type of stuff.

There's no particular shortcut other than happening to go viral or getting really lucky. But I will say "branding" or carving out a niche for yourself over time helps. Although I've been in a number of different fandoms over the past 15 years I've been on the internet, the kind of art I do has been pretty consistent. Lots of shorter, light hearted comics or vignettes highlighting relationships (be them romantic, platonic or familial) and people started enjoying my work for my writing style more so than just what fandom I was creating for.

Finding your community, creating stuff that aligns with those communities and engaging with others is huge. A lot of my work prior to IDWTBAMG centered queer people (specifically sapphics), Black and Asian folks and stylistically is very anime/modern western cartoon inspired. It's what became known for in fandom spaces and what people were following me for. So when I finally did make IDWTBAMG, a concept with anime influences, in a western cartoon style, with two Black, sapphic leads, it just fit right into what I was already doing. Like if you grew your following from doing cute, slice of life stuff, then suddenly dropped a psychological horror comic, chances are it's not gonna grab a large part of your audience. Might bring some new folks in, but you're ultimately kinda starting over and pivoting (that's why rebrands are hard to pull off). This may not be the best example but hopefully you get what I mean. Appeal to the communities you've fostered!

I hate using corporate speak for art but if you ARE trying sell your ideas to people and get your work out there, you do kinda have to learn how to market yourself and your art to some extent. Get in the head of a marketing agent or a brand manager. What's popular right now? How can I use that to my advantage? What times should I be posting my artwork to get the most eyes on this? Who is my target audience and how do I effectively appeal to them while staying true to my own work? Stuff like that. Genuinely, studying how social media managers operate as well as just observing how businesses market their products helped me a lot. "Okay I'm making this animatic, but it won't come out for the next four months. How do I keep people interested and hyped for that amount of time leading up to the pilot's release? I'll keep doing comics here and there so people connect with the characters by the time the pilot comes out. Once I get he VAs recorded, I'll make posts to get people hyped for the casting. I'll upload snippets and behind the scenes stuff to give people a taste of what's to come. I'll release during Black History Month since this is a Black led project with Black characters. I'll have a specific upload time at peak hours to get a good amount of people watching for the premiere and to give the pilot a good running start." This was all stuff I was taking into consideration and planning for.

Then generally, I think people connect to characters more than anything. You can have a cool concept and fun world building ideas but if your execution is bad and your characters aren't compelling, what's the point, y'know? IDWTBAMG isn't a particularly novel concept imo, but I think its strengths lie in the characters and how they interact. The concept is just a tool to give the character dynamics and relationships legs to stand on. So few of the comics I've done with these guys have to do with their lore, it's just small interactions of the girls in class, at a convenience store or just talking to each other in a void. Even though it's simple, that's often the kind of thing people connect with.

Then there's just the technical aspect of having appealing drawing! Getting better at your craft, if nothing else, is good for catching eyes and helping with your execution of your project. While it's not always necessary, I think it helps a lot. I know there's a lot of people who follow me just because they personally like my art style and character design.

Not sure how helpful this actually is LOL. It really does just kinda take time. We all have to start somewhere. I was a "small artist" too at one point. It was years of trial and error, mental breakdowns, finding my own artistic voice and posting artwork almost daily for like 5 years straight. I do think that's why IDWTBAMG ended up being so special to me. It really does feel like a culmination of everything I've learned and all that hard work up to this point and people can kinda feel that.

[yuh13lo]

𖤐 I won’t C.S.

You knew—you knew—wearing your brand new Doc Martens on an all-day adventure with the Sturniolo boys was a terrible idea. But they looked so good with your outfit, and you figured, How bad could it be?

Turns out: very, very bad.

By hour seven of walking across half of Los Angeles—between vintage shopping in Silverlake, exploring pop-ups on Fairfax, a spontaneous walk along the Venice boardwalk and a late lunch where you stood in line for 45 minutes—your feet were throbbing, your shoulders were tight, and you could practically feel the blisters forming.

Now, you were back at the boys’ apartment, slumped dramatically on the couch, one boot off and tossed across the room, the other halfway unlaced. Chris sat beside you, legs spread out in front of him, scrolling on his phone with his usual easy grin. Matt was digging through the kitchen, and Nick was fiddling with the TV remote.

“My feet are actually dead,” you groaned, head flopping against the arm of the couch like you were auditioning for a tragic play.

“Told you those boots were a pain in the ass ,” Matt called from the kitchen. “I literally warned you.”

“Yeah, well, your version of ‘adventure’ was a leisurely stroll, not a three-day trek across the Sahara,” you muttered, peeling off the second boot with a hiss.

Chris glanced over and winced in sympathy. “You okay?”

“No,” you said flatly. “My feet hate me. My back hates me. Even my eyelids are sore.”

“You want me to rub your feet?” he offered casually, eyes still on his phone.

Your head snapped up. “Absolutely not. That’s disgusting. My feet are sweaty, and gross, and angry, and no one should have to touch them.”

Chris glanced at you, one brow raised. “I mean… I offered. You don’t have to make them sound like possessed creatures.”

“They are!”

Matt returned, a bottle of Gatorade in one hand and a judgmental look on his face. “Okay, drama queen. Here’s what’s happening—you’re gonna go take a bath, like right now. You’ve been whining about your body hurting since we left that pop-up bookstore.”

“I was carrying three tote bags,” you argued.

“You insisted you didn’t need help,” Nick added from the floor, flipping through Netflix options.

“Because I didn’t want to look weak!” you defended.

Chris snorted. “You looked like a gremlin hunched over.”

“Okay, rude. But fine,” you huffed, swinging your legs off the couch with a wince. “Bath. Whatever.”

You padded to the bathroom slowly, muttering to yourself as you went.

Fifteen minutes later, you were soaking in the tub, surrounded by bubbles and the vague smell of lavender. You hadn’t planned to relax that much—but the warmth had melted into your muscles fast, and soon, your eyes were fluttering shut.

By the time you emerged in Chris’s oversized hoodie and some borrowed sweatpants, your hair damp and your face flushed from the heat, you felt a tiny bit better—but your feet were still throbbing with every step.

Chris was waiting on the couch with a blanket draped over his lap and a suspiciously innocent look on his face.

“What?” you asked cautiously.

He patted his lap. “C’mere.”

“I swear if you try to rub my feet—”

“I am going to rub your feet.”

“No, Chris, seriously, don’t—”

“I don’t care,” he said with a smirk. “You’re hurting. I want to help.”

You stared at him, speechless. He held his arms out expectantly.

Nick, from the floor, didn’t even look up. “Just let him do it so he’ll stop staring at you like a golden retriever begging for attention.”

You narrowed your eyes at both of them, then sighed deeply, hobbling over and plopping onto the couch. “Fine. But if you gag, or laugh, or even flinch, I’m kicking you.”

Chris took your ankles gently and pulled them into his lap. “Deal.”

His fingers started working over your feet, slow and careful. And despite every single protest you’d made, it was heaven. His thumbs pressed into your arches just right, and you had to bite your lip to stop from groaning out loud.

“See?” he said smugly, glancing up. “Not so bad.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re welcome,” he added, rubbing smaller circles at your heel. “Also, I think you owe me at least a month of letting me pick where we go for lunch.”

“That’s not how this works,” you said, eyes fluttering closed.

Matt passed by the couch on his way to the kitchen again and did a double-take. “Whoa. You really let him touch the dogs?”

“She didn’t let me,” Chris said proudly. “I convinced her.”

“She’s too tired to fight back,” Nick muttered, tossing a pillow at your knee. “This is just learned helplessness.”

But you didn’t care. Chris was grinning. You were warm, wrapped in a blanket, half-asleep, and being completely doted on.

Docs: destroyed.

Body: aching.

Chris: worth every step.

You peeked at him through your lashes and whispered, “Thanks for taking care of me.”

He smiled down at you, pressing a kiss to your ankle. “Always.”

✦ join my taglist⭐️

Taglist @ellsxxoxo @oopsiedaisydeer @edu4rd0ss @xsturnkay @matthewsroses @nessaisabelartemas333 @mattspillowprincess @matts-babytomatoes @bugs-tags @courta13 @clairo4life @sturnsobsessed21 @drewinlace

[tgmsunmontue]

Peer reviewed

3k Hangster (one-shot). Mature (to explicit maybe?)

Secretly married Hangster in an academic environment. Outsider POV then Hangster back and forth with a 5+1 feel (“feel” because it’s a 9+1). This was inspired by one of the academics I manage/work with who came into my office and declared “I haven’t spoken to him in three years and I’m not about to start now!” and I just sat there and went… why are you so proud of being apparently incapable of being baseline professional with a colleague?

…            …            …

FIRST TIME

                “Oh my god! Have you heard what’s happening down in the engineering staff offices?”

                “They haven't set fire to the place again have they?”

                “That was one time. But no, two of our new staff have arrived and it sounds like they’ve about to have a brawl in the corridor.”

                “Seriously?”

                “Yeah! Want to go walk past under the premise of getting a coffee?”

                “Definitely.”

                Jane and Sarah stand and watch. Professor Bradshaw and Professor Seresin are standing almost nose-to-nose, nostrils flaring, eyes flashing in anger and any second one of them is just going to push the other, and the other is then going to be justified in taking a swing. Sarah can see it all playing out in her minds’ eye and she wonders exactly what has set them off. She wonders if this would be a new record for HR, for people to get fired before they even officially start. Because physical altercations are definitely a firable offense, she knows because it’s happened before.

                And they’ve put so much work in finding these professors. They had met them both when they came for their interviews, about a week apart. She’d had to shmooze and try to sell the University and location just as much as the job. Their school might not have big student numbers, but their research is world class and both Seresin and Bradshaw bring a lot to the table in terms of research capabilities and student supervision and mentorship. Now if they could just get along with each other.

                Then Professor Seresin says something under his breath, too quiet for anyone else to hear, but Professor Bradshaw goes bright red, shoves Professor Seresin and stalks off, so it can’t have been anything good.

                Okay then.

                Maybe they shouldn’t have placed the new guys in offices side-by-side thinking they might get on with one another.

…            …            …

                “Do you feel better for a nap?”

                “Fuck you… but yes. And I’m sorry I lost my temper. I was just tired and –”

                “Hungry and stressed and jetlagged. Yeah babe, I know. Thanks for taking over…”

                “You’re welcome. Although I think everyone assumes we hate each other.”

                “Oh. That’s…”

                “Well, we weren’t going to advertise the fact we’re married.”

                “No. But… to have everyone think we hate each other?”

                “What? It’ll just be like when we started dating… everyone getting sick of our shit and wanting to bang out heads together.”

                “Jake… we were post-docs then. We’re professionals now.”

                “Speak for yourself. I plan on pretending we’re holding a grudge about who got the better office.”

                “Jake, you got the better office.”

                “And you can hold a grudge better than anyone I know. So it works perfectly. Also you’re going to spend more time in the workshop or lab and I spend more time in the front of fucking screen running models so it makes sense that I get the nicer office…”

                “You didn’t raise either of those points when we were fighting earlier…”

                “Well, I knew telling you I wanted to fuck you on my brand new desk would shut you up.”

                “You’re lucky I love you.”

---------------------------

SECOND TIME

                It’s a networking event, mainly aimed at making industry partners aware of what research is currently being undertaken and what potential opportunities there are for collaboration. She’s done her best with the program, to ensure Bradley and Jake can avoid each other. Bradley presented first and Jake is almost last. They’re both on a first name basis with her now after the months of working together, she’s helped them both with different aspects of moving to another country however she notes that they still refer to each other by last names. They’re the only ones to still do that.

                On top of that Bradley seems to be trying to maybe kill Jake with the power of his mind, staring at him with heated intensity like his mere presence is an affront to Bradley somehow. She’s noticed his temper gets worse when he’s tired or his blood sugar dips low and has taken to stocking a bowl of candy on her desk, which Bradley seems to take from every afternoon. Maybe she should go and ensure he’s eaten.

…            …            …

                “You’re so good for me baby… way to make a boring work event far more interesting. Thinking about this inside of you all night while you walked around looking so good in your suit. Fuck…”

---------------------------

THIRD TIME

                It’s meant to be a social activity, just a friendly game of badminton or table tennis. Except apparently Bradley and Jake are competitive at even the most benign of social interactions and are currently trying to kill each other using ping pong balls. Other staff are backing away with either fear or simple self-preservation, not wanting to be caught in the cross-fire of whatever this has turned into. The taunts they’re throwing back and forth are a little too barbed to be considered friendly, but not barbed enough to be nasty. Either way, no one seems to be having much fun.

…            …            …

                “Pretty sure we’re not meant to be using the disabled bathroom for sex.”

                “Not my fucking fault you’re so hot I can’t control myself.”

---------------------------

FORTH TIME

                The annual school strategy meeting happens and they just need to keep Bradley and Jake on opposite sides of the room. Her and Jane have got this down to a fine art now, although the idea of trying to keep the two of them in the same room for an entire workday is stretching even their abilities. Fortunately the program leaders for both Jake and Bradley seem to be happy to assist in keeping them separated but also in expediating the material by arranging for half of it to be discussed at a later point. Considering some of the arguing that has already happened it’s a very good thing they don’t have to compete for funding internally.

…            …            …

                “Okay, definitely a benefit of everyone thinking we can’t stand each other, making meetings shorter.”

                “Don’t you feel a little bad that we’re deceiving them?”

                “Did you not hear what I just said?”

---------------------------

FIFTH TIME

                “Professor Bradshaw.”

                “Seresin. What can I help you with?”

                The lack of title is definitely deliberate and if there were guns involved the safety would be off, or the hammer would be getting cocked… Instead Jake is looking amused more than anything else, although there’s a slight hue of pink high on his cheeks which bely his potential anger at the disrespect. It’s not often they’re both in the administration office at the same time, and they’re both gritting their teeth and grimacing. She cannot believe that they’re apparently incapable of being more civil to one another.

                “Just found your phone in the break room and thought I’d bring it up to the office. And here you are…”

                “And here I am…”

                Jake is indeed holding a phone out, pinched between his thumb and forefinger like he might catch something from it. Bradley reaches out a hand to take it and like it’s almost slow motion the phone tumbles from Jake’s fingers just as Bradley is about to take it and it hits the floor.

                “Oops. Sorry. Butter fingers,” Jake says, but he’s smirking and even Sarah is annoyed on Bradley’s behalf. That was clearly deliberate. Bradley is bending to retrieve his phone, rolling his eyes and muttering thanks under his breath, which Sarah decides is far more polite than she’d be.

                “Oh, my pleasure.”

…            …            …

                Jake pushes Bradley up against his office door, locking it and grinning like an idiot as he presses kisses along the curve of Bradley’s jaw.

                “God, you’re such an asshole.”

                “Yeah, but I wanted to see you bend over in those jeans again. Damn Bradley…” Jake says, and he runs a hand over Bradley’s ass again, very appreciative of said ass.

                “Workplace harassment.”

                “You like being harassed by me at work.”

                “Yeah, what do you think that says about my mental state?”

                “That you love me?”

---------------------------

SIXTH TIME

                “Professor Bradshaw won’t be in today. And probably not tomorrow.”

                “Um,” Sarah blinks. “Is he…” Alive? She’s a little scared to ask.

                “He’s got some type of stomach flu, puking and feverish. I said I’d take his classes for him.”

                “That’s… nice of you.”

                “Hmm. I always like it when people owe me favors.”

                Huh. She smiles and nods and decides to send Bradley a message to check in and maybe suggest he doesn’t eat any food that Jake brings him. Just in case.

…            …            …

                “You’re the best.”

                “And you’re adorable.”

                “I’m miserable.”

                “And very adorable with it.”

                “Did you know that Sarah thinks you’re poisoning me?”

                “What? Since when?”

                “She sent me a message saying to be careful about taking anything from you, just in case.”

                Jake rolls his eyes and presses a quick kiss to Bradley’s forehead.

                “If I catch this from you, then you can worry about me poisoning you. But not before then.”

                “Love you too babe.”

---------------------------

SEVENTH TIME

                “I’m really sorry Bradley, it’s just with how late notice it is we can’t find another room anywhere close by. I’ve asked that if another room is made available you’re moved to it immediately.”

                “It’s fine. Really. I don’t mind sharing a room. I promise.”

                “What’s wrong?” Jake asks, coming into the office, and he’s looking at Bradley with narrowed eyes and even when Bradley smiles at Jake all he gets in response is a frown and Bradley simply rolls his eyes, like he finds Jake’s action endearing somehow rather than grossly unprofessional.

                “There weren’t any more rooms available, so I’ve had to place you in the same room. Separate beds though!”

                “I’d rather share with someone I know than a complete stranger,” Bradley says.

                “So I have to put up with him farting and snoring in my room?”

                “Excuse you! Like I don’t have to put up with the same from you!”

                “I’m really sorry Jake, it’s just –”

                “It’s fine. Sorry. Didn’t mean to make you feel bad. It’s not within your control. Bradshaw and I can play nice for a few days I’m sure. Can’t we Bradshaw?”

                “Well, we can certainly try.”

                “That’s the spirit!”

                “We can even share a ride to the airport, seeing as we live in the same apartment building.”

                “Who knows, we might come back best friends.”

                “I think people will just be impressed we both come back alive and don’t kill each other.”

                They walk away in the same direction and Sarah bites a knuckle and looks across at Jane.

                “You know, I think they’re starting to mature. That was almost a civil conversation. They only looked like they wanted to hit each other about half the time…”

…            …            …

                “Yes, hi, we’re here to check in. A room for Jake Seresin and Bradley Bradshaw.”

                “Oh! We’ve actually had a cancellation. There’s another room available. Your assistant was very adamant that if there was a cancellation we moved you to separate rooms.”

                “It’s fine. We’d prefer to share.”

---------------------------

EIGHTH TIME

                “Hi. Can you tell me where to find Professor Seresin’s office?”

                “Aren’t you one of Professor Bradshaw’s students?”

                “Yeah, but he said I’d be best to talk to Professor Seresin, because he knows more.”

                “Really? Hmm. Well, their offices are side by side, so if you’d been looking at the name plates on the doors you would have noticed you had to walk past Professor Seresin’s office to get here.”

                “Oh. Okay then. Thank you.”

                Sarah turns to Jane, eyes wide and disbelieving look on her face.

                “Do you think they’re thawing toward one another?”

                “Who knows? Maybe that conference they both went to forced them to get on?

                Later, when they’re walking back to the office from their lunch break Jake and Bradley are arguing in the corridor and Sarah lets out a sigh and shrugs. Things had been looking so promising.

…            …            …

                “No Bradley, I stand by what I told the student. I do have a better understanding of the measurement and applications for sensors. I build the fucking circuits and run models out my ears before I even reach the build stage.”

                “Yeah, I know you do, but it’s a final year capstone project. Not a Masters or PhD. You’re overthinking it and making it far bigger than it needs to be. You overwhelmed him with your enthusiasm. I wasn’t telling you no, I was just needing you to dial it down.”

                “Oh.”

                “Yeah. I know. Lucky I love you.”

---------------------------

NINTH TIME

                “Oh, they definitely looked like they’d been pushing each other around.”

                “Seriously? At least they’re smart enough to never do it where there are witnesses. Otherwise it would be an HR nightmare. Do you think there’s maybe something more there though?”

                “What do you mean?”

                “Well… I got the receipt for the hotel where they stayed, and they ended up staying in the same room. By choice. I know there was an extra room because I phoned up the morning they were meant to be checking in, and there had been a cancellation. But they decided not to use it.”

                “Okay. That is odd.”

                “Plus there was one time I got mail for Jake Seresin-Bradshaw. Do you think they’ve gone and joined forces for some type of research?”

                “More likely gone halves on a subscription of some type. Those things are like, ridiculously expensive. Their research kind of overlaps right? It’s why they knew each other… didn’t they do their undergraduate degrees at the same University?”

…            …            …

                “A love bite Bradley? Really?”

                “Yep. Now you match about half your first-year students.”

                “You’re such an asshole.”

                “Mmm. I do work very hard at it.”

---------------------------

TENTH TIME

                “Jake. Fantastic presentation. Just wondering if I could maybe interest you in a drink?”

                Sarah doesn’t give the person asking much of a chance. Jake is always so very calm and aloof at these types of events, perfectly pleasant and professional for the most part. Except when it comes to Bradley, although it’s been a couple of years now and their banter back-and-forth could almost be classified as friendly.

                “A drink to talk about a potential professional partnership?” Jake asks, smile bland and not reaching his eyes.

                “Well, no,” their voice drops lower. “More a potential personal relationship…?”

                “I think my husband might have something to say about that, and also I'm not at all interested.”

                What the actual fuck Sarah thinks to herself. Since when has Jake been married? And to declare it quite loudly in a room full means there’s no back tracking.

                “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t realize you were… unavailable. You’ve never mentioned a husband before.”

                “No, I haven’t. But we have been married for coming up to five years.”

                Five years!!! Sarah thinks to herself.

                “You called?” Bradley asks, voice dry and Sarah cannot fucking believe it.

                “Hi. Yes. I did. Ready to go home?”

                “Ready when you are.”

                Sarah needs to reassess every time she remembers them interacting, because they’re still looking at each other, but now that she knows they’re married it puts a whole different lens on why that level of intensity might be there in the gaze they’re sharing.

                Oh.

                They’ve been eye-fucking each other.

                During meetings, events, social get togethers… when they’ve been pushing each other around.

                Oh.

                Right.

                Good for them.

…            …            …

                “What made you decide to declare our matrimonial state tonight?” Bradley asks, and it’s a struggle to talk, Jake’s mouth on his neck sucking, biting and kissing. His fingers have already undone the buttons of Bradley’s shirt and pushed it off, now working on his belt.

                “Novelty had worn off. I want the novelty of being able to hold your hand, or kiss you if I want to or…”

                “Or simply say we’re married?”

                “Yeah. That too.”

THE END

[soupdrinkinglincoln]

Hey guys. I watched the episode. I didn’t know anything going into it besides the two Ranis teaser that they showed and the still showing Conrad with a book named ‘Doctor Who’, and that was enough to intrigue me. So, with that prelude, let’s begin.

-The opening two scenes were absolutely fascinating. I can only really assume that the Rani acting so much like the Toymaker was intentional, with her German phraseology and her usage of the wish power being very akin to his state of play, but I don’t know entirely what to make of that. I’ll say now that, for this episode alone, I actually did my homework. I watched Mark of the Rani, which allows me to say in full honesty, that I still have absolutely no idea if she’s in character or not. I do fear that they may have dropped the ball, simply because her usage of the powers of gods feels very oppositional to her unshaken belief in science, and because I can’t really say that I feel the episode wouldn’t have worked if the person behind the plot was The Master- save of course for that one small thing at the end. It did remind me of ‘The End of Time’ a little, but to be frank I’m not sure that we saw enough of the Ranis being themselves for me to say anything for concrete yet.

-The second scene was when I really knew something was up. With John and Belinda Smith, a happy married couple, with a daughter, who was Poppy. That was off. Because of the relationship the pair have in the Tardis, because of the domestic life, because of Poppy’s very presence there after the whole mystery surrounding her, and frankly because of Doc 15 snogging any woman at all. Originally, I definitely thought the crux of this all would be that this world was built from the Doctor’s wish, a la ‘I’ve never had a life like that’. But I like how that was proven false, with everything still making sense. This is the world from the point of view of a character we know to be a massive incel. Of course the Doctor is married to Belinda; the god of the world has ‘very traditional’ views on marriage and homosexuality is outlawed. Of course the only thing a single, childless woman can do is sit and contemplate. Of course the people that rejected the new god a very long time ago are a type of company that’s often seen as scummy. Of course the disabled are basically invisible. Of course it’s all so fragile.

-Ruby is once again having the worst day of her life because this is like the third or fourth time or something she’s gone through a reality where everyone hates her. As far as running themes go, wow, what an unfortunate one to be stuck in. Having the episode put so much focus on her makes sense, because the episode is about Conrad, and those two are intertwined. Does make me look stupid for claiming that episode would have been part of a side series otherwise but I didn’t realise he’d be back for this finale so, live and learn I guess. I think that her and Shirley’s side of the story was important to have in there, even if just to explore the world beyond what we’re seeing with John Smith.

-The baby, Desiderium. That was a new name, which I thought was a good thing. The Pantheon is sort of a mix between brand new characters and very old ones, and a lot of the ones we’ve seen are new ones. Maestro, the much beloved Lux Imperator. The Toymaker is one of the very old ones, but it’s a new version of him and you don’t have to have watched the old episodes to know everything about him. Sutekh, too, was a new version of the character to where I didn’t feel the need really to have to go back and watch Pyramids of Mars to know about him. The Rani was a little different, with her being a Time Lady, and so I felt that I wanted to know who she was to see where this incarnation would take her. But with little Desiderium, I was satisfied, because this finale was about the Rani. It was her return after so many years, people were clamouring to see her again, and now she’s back. The episode didn’t need the baby to be some other super old villain to take away from her being back. And then she resurrected Omega.

-Okay, let’s discuss the ending. It was fantastic to see Rogue again, loved having him back. I found it very clever how they used the Doctor’s tendency to doubt against him, and how they used exposition as a weapon. I liked the exploration of queerness through the Doctor and Rogue’s relationship, and it left me very excited for next week to see what comes next. But… okay it’s transcript time.

Once more, I have to umm and aah about this regarding the Rani. From my own homework doing, and from what I’ve seen others say, the vibe seems to be ‘they were all childhood friends but it’s like the three of them are in a group together in science class and the Rani is actually trying to focus on her experiment whilst the Doctor and the Master are chasing each other around trying to stab each other with compasses as their way of flirting’. What I’m trying to say is that this feels like a Master line. But it couldn’t be the Master, because the very last thing we saw the Master do was burn Gallifrey to the ground and kill absolutely everyone there, so it needed to be somebody else that then went and resurrected the very first Time Lord and creator of them all. Yeah, I will also be going into next week trying to figure out what the fuck is going on there with him and with the Timeless Child and with Tecteun. I will not be going back and watching all of the Omega episodes, even if it would give me more context for what will come. Considering Big Russ told us that everything will change with Gallifrey’s history once more, it doesn’t feel too important to do so anyway.

In conclusion, I wish for nobody to get me wrong. I enjoyed the episode greatly. And yet, it worried me slightly. Because to me, the finale could have been about the Rani and her special magic baby and her nefarious deeds and the Doctor stopping her. I didn’t feel like it needed Omega to come back on top of that. It worries me because I love seeing the Pantheon, and it’s new members, and it’s older members and how they fit in. Bringing Sutekh back, evolved from an Osiran into a true member of the Pantheon by the time stream, is neat. Revealing that the Toymaker was a part of that crowd, is neat. But if they bring in Omega, and the Black Guardian, and the White Guardian, and the Valeyard, and Morbius, and Hastur the Unspeakable on top of all that, I feel like it’s gonna end up like The Ultimate Showdown in here. They barely skirted by that happening for me with the Story Gods, but I am not going to waste my time preaching apocalyptism before I’ve even seen what comes next at the end of this series. Here’s to Poppy being explained and the Timeless Child being poked at and fiddled with once more. I’ll see you guys there.

[strokeovapen]

What did you think about Sparklecare (and by extension Cometcare) before the doc dropped? Personally, I was a lurker too.

I only really even talked about it to friends to complain about things I disliked about both (the worldbuilding surrounding sex, I REALLY disliked Sly being bullied by Eve and Norma being played for laughs as someone who has a extremely strained relationship with my sister who didnt like me since I was born, etc) but I used to think it was an okay enough, flawed webcomic overall. I agreed with a lot of Sparklecrit takes too.

But now, I cant help but see Cometcare at least in a brand new light. Sparklecare too, but I suppose since the 'secret canon' wouldnt be relevant for a long time in the main comic, its to a lesser extent.

Prior to the document’s release, I had… very mixed feelings about Sparkle/Cometcare.

SC: I really only liked Volume 1 and 2, after that, they lost their charm. The plot became more ship-focused rather than actual corrupt medical experiences, which is what the comic is advertised to be. Not to mention, the woobification of characters.

Uni being my prime example, I absolutely adore Volume 1 Uni, he had character that made him definable. With his “swag bro” talk and general slyness, it made him a very fun and lovable character. After Volume 2, Uni started to become this “cutie who does no wrong” and turned into a bland, emotionless character. Uni literally only exists to be victimized in the comic at this point, and not to actually have character growth and depth. After shuffling through the leaked story, it seemed to be very clear that Uni remained one-dimensional for the rest of the story.

Doom is another good example of this, going from a corrupt nurse to a “nervous malewife who only works at the hospital to protect his sister, also he has a crush on Uni.” I much rather prefer when Doom was mean and gross, and the changes to the text in Volume 1 and 2 was the worst possible thing that could have happened.

Simply put, I’ve been extremely unsatisfied with the story now that Kittycorn decided to focus on shipping-slop of all things. Gross. Learning that Pollarrydoomi was to become a reality in the main comic didn’t exactly leave a good taste on my tongue. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate the ship, but this is the furthest you could have strayed from the main plot of the comic.

CC: It was fun, but in terms of writing, it was pretty subpar. Taking it for what it is, it’s nothing more than a typical askblog comic. I really hate that half of the comet characters have little to no depth to them whatsoever.

Polly has not shown up more than a couple times, Frosty and Cream are rarely shown and when they are, they are extremely one-dimensional, the relationship between the kids and their parents aren’t really touched on and have to be read from Toyhou.se pages, Chem is a bland character that doesn’t have much interesting about them, I could go on and on about how uninteresting the cast is. Who gets development is very clearly favoritism.

It’s also very clear that Kittycorn has no actual grasp on what sibling relationships are like. I have ten siblings and almost none of the main dynamics shown in cometcare are realistic depictions in my experience, especially like the constant bullying of Sly, no sibling talks about another sibling’s masturbation habits that often. (Well, we know the source of this now that everything has come out, but still.)

Overall: The worldbuilding isn’t the worst thing in the world and I do enjoy some aspects of it, but it’s not really explained in the comics and have to be taken from the worldbuilding page only. (Which isn’t good for writing, show not tell!)

Kittycorn is just… not good at worldbuilding, at all. A lot of it is very convoluted and I find myself having to relook the worldbuilding page to remember what anything is supposed to represent. Not to mention the sex aspect is just really unnecessary and doesn’t make much sense logistically.

I was hoping this could be elaborated on in Kneeby’s other comics like South Esteam and Karmageddeon (Why is it spelled like that?) but I seriously doubt that it will ever get attention, the fact that Kittycorn expects to make 3 whole series with Sparklecare will have me wondering if this comic will ever be completed. 6 Pages a week is snail’s pace if you really wanted to do this. And since the ZCP is long gone, I expect it to take even longer.

A… lot of the context for SC/CC content has changed my views on it drastically, and a lot of it is the result of just bad writing, I enjoyed the preboot more than this.

[thetwistedrope]

Hi TTR. I saw your post about your depression issues and AuDHD, and it’s the first time I’ve ever heard anyone describe struggling with depression like I have. I won’t go into the details, but absolutely no treatments have ever worked for me.

I’m 99% sure I have ADHD, but the problem is that no one I’ve ever talked to has thought it was hindering me enough to require treatment. Until I saw your post, I agreed. But now I’m willing to try literally anything to be able to feel happiness for the first time in my life. Do you have any advice for convincing professionals to let you try ADHD medication?

Also, were you afraid it wouldn’t work? How do you temper your expectations?

Thanks. Even if you don’t respond to this, I just wanted to make sure you knew that your post has given someone some hope and a new path to follow.

It makes me happy that my message reached someone, cuz ngl, more people need to know. You may not "need" stimulants to survive, but let's be real, being alive and constantly being depressed is awful.

Advice for convincing professionals? Well I always encourage people to go in with a list of symptoms you're experiencing. So that way when the doc tries to write you off, you can point to the physical list and be liek "but what about this."

The psych that eventually gave me meds, it took me about 4 months to get her to even consider my adhd claims, and I think what made the difference was 1. we got my anxiety under control, and 2. I specifically described my executive dysfunction without calling it that. If you're able to describe it without naming it, ime, it makes the doc feel like they've figured it out for you, and they seem more willing to listen when they have come to the decision (stupid, i know).

My doc constantly harps about not going "too high" on my meds, but there was one session where I told her how I legit ran out of groceries because I cba to get groceries and she upped my dosage without me having to say anything lmao

So one thing I'd warn is to moderate your expectations because some places you might be waiting a bit for the doctor to hear you out. But at the same time, if the doc tells you that you don't have it and that you're wrong, go find another psych. idk where in the world you are, but in the US, if you're able... go find someone else.

The older I get, the more I'm convinced that getting good doctors is all about finding the right person that works for you. Sitting around waiting for a shitty healthcare prof to change their mind is a fool's errand, and when in doubt, try someone else.

I wasn't afraid meds wouldn't work, ngl. But I didn't expect stims to change my depression as much as they did. Being on lower dosages is a little hit and miss, because I'll basically be functional-ish during the day, but crash whenever I'm not medicated (mornings/evenings).

It can take time to find the right dosage and the right brand. I was doing very well on methylphenidate made by Tri-Gen, and it was wonderful. But two months ago, my pharmacy quit carrying Tri-Genm and moved to Mallinckrodt, and I feel like I'm barely taking anything. So now I have to go back to my doctor to figure out wtf to do about it.

That is the shittiest part of being on stims: the government is actively hostile to us taking them and it can be challenging to get ahold of the specific brand that you need. I know someone who drove an hour away to make sure her kid could get Vynase because the other brand wasn't working for him.

Further, depending on your state, you will have to submit for urine testing periodically to prove you're taking your meds and not selling them (I fucking hate this country) and you will only get 30 pills exactly, so you'll have to stay on top of your prescription to make sure that it actually gets filled on time.

It's a lot of bullshit, but for me, it's worth it. Cuz otherwise, life is just this long, draw-out march to death. But to be clear, these hurdles shouldn't be here lmao. People with ADHD notoriously don't abuse their meds, though I'm probably preaching to the choir now.

TL;DR: The whole process requires some patience to navigate, but if you're certain about your condition, don't take no for an answer. Keep trying until you find a healthcare prof who will actually listen to you and take you seriously. Don't be afraid to try multiple stimulant types until you find the one that works best for you.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

hello! i am brand new to everything about undertale au's, by so i mean maybe two months in. it's quickly become one of my favorite things, and while i mostly focus on the apple twins, i've grown to love killer a lot. i thought this might be a good place to ask, can you explain him to me? from backstory to what the the different stages are (this mostly). i know very little about him, and this is an issue, so feel more than free to go into crazy detail if you want, or even throw in personal thoughts. learning about him pleases me

Hello! I will try to answer, but i feel it is first important to state two things.

1. Killer has a lot of lost media, a lot of his canon information and materiel was deleted—including an entire ask blog. So if someone ever claims something about Killer is true, it’s probably best to ask for some sort of proof for this. Such as a link or a screenshot from his creator, rahafwabas.

2. Rahafwabas has also said that every interpretation of Killer can be canon. She was very loose and free with her character, and just wanted people to have fun. So don’t worry too much about sticking close to what little remains of canon.

What we have of Killer’s canon now is basically his Something New comics (origin), a few more scattered comics and drawings here and there, and some fun facts.

I have links to some of Killer’s canon stuff in the top of my pinned post if you want to give it a look, but if not, here is a link to a Google Doc someone made about canon Killer (I didn’t make it.) It’s also no guarantee that every single thing has been found and archived.

That being said! I will give a summary of the first origin, before the updated one that involved the Player and how we altered Sans’ codes to create kill_sans. Undertale: Something New has multiple endings as well, but I won’t get into that just yet. Because this is just about Killer, not how he met Nightmare or Color or any of that.

In Rahafwabas’ own words, Something New was described as something along the lines of how, after going through so many Resets—being constantly killed, fighting, watching everyone die, repeating multiple different days and outcomes over and over—Sans eventually shuts down emotionally and stops caring, loses hope, and becomes like the human.

The human notices, and starts proposing something new. A deal. Sans joins them on a Genocide, and they’ll stop Resetting and let the world move on—Sans wants to continue, or stop (die, erase the world), is what the human says he wants.

Sans spits in their face and refuses. The human brutally and violently murders him in response.

Rinse and repeat for a couple thousand unknown Resets—and something changes one day. Suddenly, Sans is thinking about something new. He’s thinking about how everyone deserves to die anyway—they’re all weak, he can’t save them, Papyrus is so fucking lucky.

Who cares anymore.

The thoughts happen so slow he doesn’t catch it—so focused on trying to tune the kid out, even as their words work their way into his mind and nothing feels real. Sometimes he catches his thoughts, confused and distressed—because it’s not true. He doesn’t hate Papyrus, he doesn’t want to join the kid or kill anyone.

And yet something in his minds insists he does, in his own voice, in his own thoughts. Perhaps it wasn’t uncommon to find Sans arguing to himself with increasing distress and confusion, even. Arguing as if he’s two different people.

His mind starts slipping, he can’t tell what is and isn’t real anymore. Is he going insane? Is he losing his mind? Has the kid done something to him?

Or is this just genuinely what he wants. He didn’t think he was like that. He’s not, surely.

“Am i going insane?” “Heh. Yeah.”

“This isn’t right..” “But we don’t have a choice.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore..” “Yes I do.”

Whatever. Who cares anymore. Not him. Not him.

Eventually it all comes to a head when Sans, all big dead eyes and empty smiles, shakes the devil’s hand and gets to hunting. We don’t get to see all of the first Genocide route, but we see Sans kill Flowey, Grillby, and eventually..Papyrus.

I won’t spoil the entire scene because I personally find it devastating enough to read on your own. The moment where we see how manipulated Sans has become—manipulated into hating and despising his own brother, enough to gleefully reveal he has been dreaming about this moment. Where he gets to make Papyrus experience even half of the pain Sans went through.

It isn’t until a broken, bloody, battered Papyrus opens his arms wide and tearfully declares that he’d happily die if his presence was causing his brother so much pain, that Sans snaps back. He remembers who he is, and more importantly, he remembers who Papyrus is.

It was never an enemy. It was never his tormenter, mocking him with his happiness and safety. He was his little brother, and now he’s dead.

Because of him. And he can never undo that.

We get to see how truly fragmented and disoriented Sans has become after this—too busy arguing with himself to truly notice when Chara skillfully slides in, offering comfort and reassurance to their new partner, their new best friend, as they welcome him to the Genocide run.

From here the Genocide route continues—with some of the dialogue up above happening. We see Sans and Chara having fun with it now—tossing around a monster’s hat, laughing and cheering as they kill Undyne. Sans is confused as he laughs and smiles and giggles—he hates himself. Why is he doing this again.

he doesn’t know. He smiles as he gifts Chara a knife, and their happy surprise is perhaps enough to make him feel.

…They put on Papyrus’ scarf. He can’t help but stare. But they are right—he’s being ridiculous. He has killed his brother before.

…at least they take it off.

He confronts Alphys. But then she confronts him—…Sans, why are you doing this? Is the human making you?

Sans is confused. He’s doing all this of his own free will, right? Of course the human doesn’t have any control of this. Of course not. He’s doing this because he wants to feel something.

…Why is he even explaining himself. None of them will understand. Only Chara does.

Then there’s suddenly a feeling of someone standing behind him, watching him mournfully, when Alphys mentions him. No, he’s not real. He’s not real. He’s not real. He’s not—

Alphys is dead.

there’s no going back now, and Chara insists on just one more route. Just one more. And another and another and another and another and another and another—

He’s having so much fun! So much fun. So much fun. Chara watches on with a smile as Sans just hysterically laughs and cries and laughs and cries and laughs and—

…San is tired. He’s…exhausted. He feels drained, and empty. why is he even still here. how did he get here.

…The two continue on. There’s no more laughing or cheering or crying. It is what it is.

..Sans notices some type of black sludge sliding down his cheek one Reset (how many has it been now?…who cares). He dismisses it. Who cares.

There’s a growing, burning ache somewhere in his chest yet another Reset. The sludge slides down more frequently..

..The pain keeps growing with every single Reset. He can’t take a single step without this black sludge sliding from his eyes, his nose, his teeth. What’s happening to him? What’s happening what’s happening what’s happening—

..It hurts. It hurts so much, make it stop, please. He turns to Chara one Reset. What’s happening to me? What’s happening to me? Please, it hurts.

He can’t see Chara anymore. His vision is so blurry, they look so different. He stumbles and falls to the ground, frozen with pain and fear—unable to realize that he has fallen into a bed of golden flowers.

His SOUL hovers outside his chest, a black spot slowly, painfully growing and expanding in the middle as if a parasite is wiggling its way inside. Curling around, eating everything it can and burning away the rest. Forcing its victim into the desired state.

The only explanation Chara has for him is something along the lines of, “Your soul is becoming like mine. Neither beast nor man, and you will feel nothing. Wait here, and I’ll go deal with that stupid flower.”

Sans is left to ponder those words as he starts fading in and out from life. But then he hears laughter, someone calling his name.

Papyrus.

Sans’ last words—his last thoughts—are of Papyrus.

“Papyrus..I’m sorry. I will miss you all.”

His SOUL is filled with DETERMINATION as it snaps into the target shape. Sans dies with a pathetic mournful whimper, as Killer silently takes his place.

{ @lucid-cups }

[13thdoctorposts]

I hate that RTD and Tennant and crew can't leave the show alone, that not only does RTD act like his formula is the only/best and not only is Tennant incapable of fucking stepping back from the role even after a grossly egotistical first run in the 00s, but a generation of fans only recognise/like Who when its in that image. And that hurts the show massively, it hurts other actors both in the sense that they aren't allowed from out of his fucking shadow and in that literal workplace abuse and media smear campaigns are excused when it happens around them.

Yeah, considering the most questionable things seem to happen under RTDs watch but the media never has anything to say negative about him compared to the level of shit levered at Moff but then even more so at Chibs, especially when Chibs seems like the most humble of the 3 is crazy.

I've read a lot of comments that Chibs wasnt good enough to Showrun as big a show as Doctor Who he didnt have the skills for it, but lucky RTD is back because he has the skills to do it, the cope from people is crazy!

Especially considering the shit show that seems to exist now, leaks, upon leaks, upon leaks, Ncuti's announcement almost instantly being over shadowed by Tennant's announcement, and the fact that Ncuti's happened on a red carpet... they would have known it was about to be leaked and couldn't have come up with something a bit better even if it was on a short deadline? Didn't really matter I guess Tennent coming back and being announced the following week seemed more important to them. The Bi-regeneration, which within the show lore I don't care about, do canon braking things, but of course that left the 14th Doctor out there doing his own thing with his own TARDIS completely overshadowing Ncuti, the number of comments I've seen about 15th not being the 'real' Doctor or being a clone Doctor etc. and for what to keep Tennent around off camera? So that people would question 15th legitimacy? To make sure Ncuti couldn't have his time alone to shine? Then we have the recent articles saying Millie was dropped/axed... with no evidence spread across the internet and front pages of papers across the UK saying she was dropped/axe for inappropriate behaviour with no elaboration, just trying to ruin a 19 year olds career with nothing to corroborate or evidence given and neither Bad Wolf or The BBC bothered to come out and clarify anything even though these stories also unofficially announced a new companion... one that even Mandip Gill said she has kindly messaged and Radio Times has spoken about, but Bad Wolf and The BBC haven't even announced her and given her that moment. And a side note to that is the new white companion got introduced with the TARDIS by the New Doctor as an official announcement the woman of colour companion got announced in a bunch of papers bad mouthing the former companion, guess like Ncuti not everyone gets to have the same treatment. So Chibs wasnt good enough to Showrun?! No one knew Jodies casting announcement that didnt get leaked, even Dan got his own video announcement as a new companion, nothing to do with his writing but Showrunning the show with the limited BBC budget he had even though he was able to keep his house in order for over 5 years while RTD, with his big BBC/Disney budget doesnt seem to keep anything in order, and Chibs is the one who supposedly doesnt have the skills to Showrun.

I think we really did need a brand new show runner and Tennent should have only returned for the 60th if it was a multi Doctor story, Multi, not as in just with 15 in the last ep but with previous Docs. All the 60th did was give the 10th Doctor a happy ending that was seriously weird for all the Doctors who came after him, so narratively was just a WTF, like you just told a companion you had feelings for them and couldn't settle down and 3 days later settle down with a friend from 1000 years ago (in the doctors time) talk about jarring to watch, the episodes were not celebratory in anyway, wasn't written any better then 13 era despite what we were told we would get and left 14 there so people could make countless videos and write countless blog posts about how 15 isnt legitimate. what a celebration!

I think we needed a brand new show runner, no having 10 and 14 to make Tennent even more special by putting him in every Doctor line up from now on twice and had Ncuti come in. I understand He couldn't film for the 60th, but they managed to put a Christmas Ep out with him 3 weeks later maybe instead of the 60th and Christmas ep it could have been a movie length ep with Ncuti so filming could have started later.

Thats a pretty long rant sorry. But in conclusion we should have just moved forwards instead of bothering to look back, and given the new actors the lime light in the way they deserved.

[neurodivergentbraingoblins]

Story time about how being "inclusive" is often used as pretty jewlery to make workplaces seem less shitty than they are.

So I used to work for a place that did workers compensation claims. I was a data entry worker - essentially my job was to processes all incoming and outgoing documents and make sure they digitally got attached to the correct claim so other people could do their job.

I had been working at this place for about 6 months, and we had a MASSIVE turnover in people. Like over half my team/coworkers quit. Well, I just happened to be really, really good at data entry work. My pattern recognition skills and OCD compulsions were a perfect fit for this job. Even management constantly would say how impressed they were with the amount of work I could get done.

Here's the problem - the 2 other people who didn't quit during the turnover were my superiors. They had problems with the way I communicate (AuDHD). So instead of dealing with it, they openly harassed me in group chats. Our boss would see the chats and then call them out on it and tell them to stop.

Fast forward a few months later. Shit is getting crazy for our company as we were expanding. I'm getting harassed constantly by all my "teammates" and from higher ups. I go to HR about the concern and they decide to have me just directly report to our boss. But the problem wasn't solved. I still had to work with and ask questions to the team who obviously hated me. Simply because I communicate and work differently than I do. I was always willing to help them get caught up on work, but never the other way around.

So I've been at this place for about a year now and I'm testing a brand new method of cataloging data to the correct files. (Example- adding medical records for a specific person to their specific digital file so the adjuster assigned to the claim can review it). Turns out something broke with the process and over 700 files were lost.

So I get pulled into a very sudden meeting with me, the 2 teammembers who were my superiors and my boss. They are freaking out trying to figure out how to fix this. When I could finally get a chance to speak I told them I had backups of most of the files. They all went silent and just stared at me.

I explained that the way the process worked gave me anxiety because of this very potential issue. Once the files were uploaded to the claims, they were deleted from the storage location. Gone permanently. I didnt want to be the one responsible for losing important documents if something when wrong, so as a precaution (and a newly developed OCD compulsion) I would save most files to a different folder as a backup (usually just the files I had to convert from one format (ex: word doc) to a PDF).

Turns out I ended up saving the company thousands of dollars and thousands of work hours. My boss literally said to my face "your OCD saved the day! You're a hero!". The very next day everyone was back to being upset at me for how I did my job 😅

Well, over the course of my year there, management put together a COMPANY WIDE MANDATORY meeting about inclusivity and anti-discrimination. Of course I attended and I was having to hold back tears and laughter as everyone made all these promises to not judge people and to be open to "other working styles". The meeting was a 5 hour long meeting with different games and activities. You could tell the company execs were so proud of themselves for the meeting.

The very next day I received the perfect example of what NOT to do from my own boss who helped lead the company meeting! Essentially she heard a rumor that I was setting up meetings with other departments to work on things that hadn't been approved through the proper channels. She pulled me into a virtual meeting and, I kid you not, lectured me for 5 minutes straight about how that wasn't allowed. When I finally got a chance to speak I calmly told her I'd never done anything like that before. I admitted that occasionally I would ask someone else questions in a random email here or there when it related to what we were talking about. But I had never done any of the things she just accused me of and lectured me about. She was "assuming the worst and the negative instead of something positive" which was one of the core values we had spent almost an hour on at the meeting the day before.

I immediately went to HR crying. What was the point of that ridiculous mandatory meeting if the company superiors were still going to discriminate against me??? Well after a year of putting in hard work for them, fighting against all the harassment they threw at me, and doing my best to advocate for myself I ended up quiting. It was an amazing paying full time (40hr) job that fit my skills perfectly. But I had to quit because I couldn't stand listening to them say "we love your OCD and it really helps the company, but you need to stop doing things that way. It is really annoying and takes too long. Plus your coworkers don't like it. But keep giving us those same results! You really are our best worker!"

My OCD was turned into a joke. Something that was only okay when it benefitted them, but a disgusting trait to hide away when it didn't.

Tldr: I gave a year of my life to a company that outwardly toted being "inclusive" while simultaneously being harassed for my OCD and AuDHD symptoms. All while being told my "OCD saves the company money but like, can you please stop doing things that way? Thanks!"

[porcelainvino]

How do you get into wrestling? I see you reblog about it all the time and it looks really cool but idk where to start or find stuff or what

hi thank you for asking!! my whole wrestling era was started by former glee artist tacogrande, who’s now in the wrestling fandom! i was curious about wrestling (because of this animatic idea i had about better!glee…), so i sent them an ask about it; they posted a google doc of clips of their fav wrestler, which i highly recommend and also have yet to finish but i'M ALMOST DONE

in my opinion, you just gotta find someone you like and just look into them! my current favs are jungle boy (tacogrande’s fav), mina shirakawa, toni storm, and the golden lovers aka kenny omega and kota ibushi. i still don’t know all of their lore and there is SO MUCH to go through and i’m finding new things about them everyday

the specific companies/brands i’m watching are aew and then clips i can find of some japanese ones like njpw and stardom. i don’t know much about wwe, which is VERY popular, but to me wwe is like the conservative version of aew LMAO (i wouldn’t say wwe is a safe space for queer fans unfortunately)

to get started, i’d say you just gotta watch matches and look at who people are talking about and see who you like :) for instance, i didn’t really like kenny omega because he’s like the villain in jungle boy’s arc, but then i found out he had/has this whole yaoi arc with kota ibushi and i think it’s so silly!

people are always like “pro wrestling is fake” but i feel like that’s what makes it SO GOOD like i hate sports but this shit???? this is ENTERTAINMENT.

[fishyvamp]

"Inner shame" do what u want forever 🫡🫡 when you're on your deathbed you will not be thinking "damn I wish I hadn't posted those fics on Tumblr", cringe is dead, but it keeps raising from the grave but that only means you must kill it again

Kill

KILL

KILL YOUR SHAME!!! KILL YOUR SHAME!!!

Before I start I do want to apologize for kind of taking off into a rambling vent post. Which is under the cut.

True, if anything I have a lot of regrets for the fics I deleted and never posted. I keep thinking about the CoD god fics that I had written out and outlined entire plots for. My favorite ones of the bunch were God of Trickery!Nikto x Assassin!reader and God of spring!Gaz x priestess!Reader.

I got embarrassed because the CoD fanfiction community is so large, rabid, and talented as hell. I only took the risk for DbD because the community is smaller and the FtM!reader/M!reader is so underserved if not just straight up non-existent/inactive.

Like a piece of me wishes DbD had the same rabid fanbase, but then I see the hate that gets flung at CoD cosplayers and fan writers on top of quite a few cosplayers turning out to be awful people.

My biggest hang up right now is since doing the polls and seeing the difference between the M!reader and F!reader polls (which the M!reader is done, F!reader is taking a bit longer) it made me realize that I have a lot of lurkers which is okay, but it becomes frustrating when F!reader or gender not even mentioned fics gets a lot of notes. I put a lot of effort and passion in my FtM!reader and M!reader fics and they gets half of the notes. My favorite fic that I've written has the least amount of notes.

Like part of my shame is that the fics I'm most embarrassed about are personal. Because barely and of my posts of comments or even get related asks I don't know why most of my followers are here. I know some of you are here for S.C.R.E.A.M and others Eldritch!reader. (Both are neglected, but not abandoned sorry 😅) Because the series will get massed liked and then a new follow. Which makes me giddy to see.

Honestly if you want to stay a lurker but you feel like saying or sharing something with me please I am on my hands and knees begging you to fill my inbox with your favorite line or random gibberish and tell me which Fic made you feel that way.

I don't care if it's for something brand spanking new or something I wrote it when I first started this blog.

I want to interact with you all, if I didn't they'd all be in a Google doc for my personal enjoyment. I would love comments like "so feral for them fr fr", "gnawing at the bars", "hfkajfheofubdowjfnue", "💕💕💕", or even "*insert favorite line from fic*". I am glad when I get corrections on spelling in my inbox (dyslexia is a bitch). Hell I have an ask in my inbox about somebody wanting to get with Eldritch!reader. And It still makes me smile.

Which I guess is my way of saying stop having shame when shame when it comes to interacting with me. I am literally just some guy. I am not cool, I am incredibly lame, I wore a fedora and a trench coat in high school almost everyday my freshman and sophomore years before dating a guy I actually wanted to impress, I am lame. I am human I have made a LOT of mistakes. So please I mean it when I say I will not judge people for getting excited or happy. I'd love to reach a point when I have regular anons with anon names.

[honeekyuu]

hey this is the shy anon from the other day that read through your ao3 and i just wanted to stop in and say to take your time and don’t let these anons get to you. i know you’ve been writing on your ao3 for a while now but your tumblr is literally brand new and i’m honestly at a loss for words that you’re already getting rude anons and people pressuring you to post more.

you seem like a really busy gal and i’d hate for demands like that to burn you out. you’re doing amazing and don’t let anybody be an asshole to you. post what you want when you want/can, i’ve seen far too many people give up on fandom because they feel like they have to constantly churn out content to the detriment of their creativity and passion. you’re so talented and based on the frequency with which you’ve been writing in the last few months it seems like you have a fire in your soul for haikyuu. i hate seeing it taken for granted and i just wanted to let you know you have support in doing whatever the fuck it is you want.

(feel no obligation to reply to this, just wanted to offer some support after seeing such atrocious fandom etiquette literal days into the life of this blog)

wow, i really dont know what to say--

i saw this as soon as you sent it in, but i was honestly super shocked that id gotten it, so ive just been sitting here thinking ab it.

it means probably more than you realize that you sent something so kind. i've been writing for a long long time now (both here on a different blog and on ao3), and it's true that i am very busy, because unfortunately being a phd student and running experiments and spending all my time running back and forth between my advisors and conferences and the lab means i have a schedule thats not really a schedule, and i can never really say when or what im going to be inspired enough to write, enough that i can pull myself out of daily burnout. i experience writing droughts often, sometimes lasting up to a year before i feel the urge to sit down with a doc again. and i have a LOT of half-written fics that have never seen the light of day, which i plan to get back to eventually but which, in reality, may never get finished.

ive gotten so much love and support over the years, and it's brought me back to writing every time. i love haikyuu with my soul, and i think about my fics almost every day because i feel a burning need to write them. if not for anyone else, then just for me.

but this blog is brand new, so, even though that anon i received definitely tops the list of unfriendly comments ive gotten over the many years of writing, i wanted to be as kind and accommodating as possible. because i dont want people to think im ungrateful and will ignore criticism, because no one likes those kinds of writers. but i am also a person, and writing is hard, so i think i will continue to do things my way.

my writing style is this, for anyone who'd like to know: i am erratic, and i dont have an upload schedule, because i cant realistically manage one. i have periods of inactivity, because life is hard, and i have periods of hyperactivity, because i love this fandom and the way that haikyuu makes me feel in a life that's full of terrible feelings. this may annoy some people, and i can understand that. but i cant force myself to write if im not in a place to write, and i cant force myself to stick to one fic at a time, because then it'll be clear that it's been forced.

im extremely annoying and unhinged and feral and i will talk about several different fics and smaus and text threads and headcanons all within the same breath. but i will always write what i love, so if you'd like to see work that is well-loved, feel free to stick around.

thank you very much to everyone whos been so kind in my inbox tonight, and i hope to see you all tomorrow <3

[42donotpanic]

WIP GAME

Tagged by: @auofgoldandfantasies Thank you!

Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips

I have like... endless amounts of WIPs, so, behold:

We're doing this like last time and I'll make it nice and colorful for reasons. Everything that is purple is posted or partly posted and everything that is red is part of some sort of collab with other people.

Alright, here we go:

Bangs:

Double Kill

Multiversal Mess

Pod_Together Soulmates AU

Support you all the way

Not just a Mask

Different Kinds of Love

Bad Decisions

Building a Relationship

Does this count as a Polycule?

Familial Love

Talking about Romance

Domestic WinterHawk AU

Love Bites

No Prompt Left Behind

Foggy 157, 158, 187 Monster/Demon under the Bed

Matt 157, 158, 187 Monster/Demon under the Bed

Multiversal Mess

7: Daredevil Fanfiction

Podfic

Every Last Piece

Safe Place

WSBB

Posted WIPs

25 Reasons Clint Barton is not crying anymore

26 Ways to break Matt Murdock's heart

Amputee!Clint

Comfortember 2023

Hawkdevil AU

Matt recognises the WS

Now I wear my scars just like tattoos (scar)

Nur Ein Echo der Zeit

Soulmarks and metal arms

Sound and colour

The crossover one

The one with the breakup

the ones no one asked for

To see the bruises

Tortuga Inn

Vampire AU

WarHawk

unposted WIPs

(Don't) know who you are

A Pack of Wolves

Cover Up V2

Coverup

Doctor!Tony

Don't try to fix us

Double Shot Coffee

Facial Difference

I will only slow you down

Nightmares

No Voice, still on T

Snow Fall

Stolen Keepsake

The blind Hawk

The deaf and the blind and the deafblind kid

The one they will hate me for

Firefighter AUs

AUgust 2024

Random Oneshots

Nipple Piercings

Be my Doll

Panic Attack Matt

Bucky Tentacles P*rn

Last Minute Gift

Bucky's Trigger Words

Bedtime Stories

Blanket Nest

Branded Bucky/Bruce

Cutting

Diet Culture

I don't like you

Sometimes I wish I can strangle you

Matt didn't cry

Music Festival

Oral Sex

Sin

Support

soft

too loud

the prank

WarHawk Smut

Matt goes Deaf

Scars

A Quick note at the end, as you may have noticed, there are two docs called "Multiversal Mess", so if you're interested in either (or both) of them, please specify which folder you're referring to, since it's not the same fic.

And as always, please don't hesitate to send me asks about this game, or really anything else, I always love answering them!

No pressure tags: @heretherebewolves @flowerparrish @endlesstwanted @ravenmold @evenfallwriter and everyone else who sees this and is interested!

[dollsonmain]

So it's been a couple weeks since the last surgery and removing the final stent.

I'm not sure if I feel better, honestly.

TMI

~ My kidneys still hurt. Sometimes it's the familiar pinching feeling, sometimes an also familiar dull ache, a brand new to me occasional burning feeling. It's not great. I really expected that to stop about a week after the final stent was removed.

Could have formed new stones already, considering how high my blood calcium level is and the fact that the right side stents calcified repeatedly within a short time of installation.

I suspect I'll have to have stones removed again eventually, whether or not it takes a longer or shorter time to get my thyroid sorted.

~ My urine still smells wrong sometimes, so there may be a new infection brewing. I hope not. It doesn't smell like it did before. Before it smelled like I was rotting from the inside, which makes sense, because I was.

Now it smells like cheap lunch meat sometimes. A lot of protein, I guess. Mostly it smells fine.

~ I'm not having any weird toilet habits that popped up or anything. Drinking water at a normal pace. Using the toilet at a normal pace. Able to hold it fine. All that seems normal. Only reasons I can figure the first stent was causing me to pee all the time was either because the doc was rougher that time, or because I was so sick that my body couldn't really handle it. The time between the first stents and first surgery was really rough.

~ I can't say I'm less tired than before, but the exhaustion is much less heavy?? I'm tired right now because That Guy decided he doesn't hate me again and is waking me up in the night for head, but I'm upright. I've been tempted to crawl back into bed the past couple days but haven't needed to. Before, there were times where it felt like if I didn't lie down I would fall down, my need to sleep was so sudden and desperate.

I'm not getting anything done, though. That's normal and annoying at the same time.

~ I've been a little depressed but not terribly, and as I'd said, I'm starting to feel an interest in my hobbies, again, outside of just buying stuff.

I'd also mentioned my hands are steadier than they were. Still wobbly and wibbly, but less so than before.

Still constantly running into shit, though.

[away-ward]

okay, i just saw your hc of “what if emmy got pregnant in high school” and now its making me think the same about damon and winter since damon also has a breeding kink (which we see much more of in the bonus au scene) how do you think damon would react? i just started following your account and im really liking a lot of your hot takes

Hey thank you! It's always good to know that at least some out there are enjoying them.

I figured I'd just do the other three to keep them on the same post. We'll start with Damon since that's who you asked about.

Damon, we know from the alternative scene, wants to get Winter pregnant as away to keep her and control her, which is his particular brand of "love" in high school. If he found out that she was pregnant...well, the image that comes to mind is like a cat that ate the canary.

Winter would be furious, I think in either of the timelines but especially in canon. She's too young, she doesn't like Damon extending his control over her like that; she wanted a choice, not to be forever tied to him by accident. Still, if she did keep it, she'd love that baby with everything she had. She'd keep it and protect it from Damon.

The baby would definitely be a source of fighting for them.

If it was a boy (which, looking at Damon's track record...) Gabriel would be interested. Good chance he'll pull a Christiane 2.0 and take him away. If it's a girl, it's the Ashby's problem.

The Ashby's would seriously consider sending Winter away again. I just know her mom would ask if there were still those boarding schools for "girls like her," that took pregnant girls so they didn't disgrace the family. Her father would promptly walI her over to the town doc that performs all the abortions unwanted/accidentally pregnancies for Thunder Bay (but shhhh, that's a secret). If Winter wouldn't go through with an abortion (she'd have to really fight and scream to get her father to relent), she would consider closed adoption. Considering how angry she was, there's a chance she would have gone through with it. But I'm also thinking her love for Damon despite everything would keep her from being a 100% committed, and that small room for doubt would be enough.

Michael

This wouldn't happen to Michael. He wouldn't even touch Rika until she was 18 or close to it. If she did somehow, despite all this plans, become pregnant with his child, that's it. They're getting married and raising that thing together side by side, as faraway from his family as he could get. Her mom too, if she doesn't get sober real quick. Noway is that going to be let around his kid.

For Rika, this is not how she planned it, but she always wanted Michael so maybe this was how it was meant to be. It's just like them to skip past all the nonsense of dating and getting to know each other. They already know they're made for each other, anyway. But she hates the idea that Michael thinks she tricked or "planned" this. She wasn't poking holes in condoms and she resents him for implying it (which he definitely has more than once).

They'd fight, they'd bicker, they'd annoy each other, but overall they'd be content and happy, approaching this new stage of their life with purpose and assurance that the other is going to try and be the best parent they could.

Kai

This also wouldn't happen to Kai, but it's way more likely to happen to him than to Michael. Especially with Banks involved. His brain shut down whenever she appeared in front of him. Honor bound, he would do whatever he could to make it right. He wouldn't love the idea of abortion (hard to tell if he's the type of Catholic that's completely against the idea, or if he's more along the lines of it's not my body though it's my baby, or if he's more like it's not okay for anyone else but this is my emergency so I'll ask for forgiveness (that he doesn't thinks he'll get... kai's weird)). Overall, if the baby is born and he has to tell his parents, he's going to have one giant shadow over his head. Of course he loves the baby. But this is just another way he's disappointed his father. But then Kai will go to college, and get his degree, get the job, get the salary that will provide the very best for his family. No more screwing up for him.

Basically, this would be something he beats himself up over but would not take him down.

There's a really good chance Banks never tells anyone and takes her self to the abortion clinic. Her fear that Gabriel would kick her out because she can't bring another mouth into his house - that was not the deal. Or ended up anything like her mom, chasing after to rich man to take care of a baby neither of them wanted. Not that she would chase after him. It's just the whole situation she'd want to avoid; it hits too close to home. And don't even bring up Damon finding out. I think she'd also be scared to mess the kid up. At seventeen, she doesn't think she's anywhere close to being mother material. Best to save this kid some pain before it understands. The only thing that might stop her is if Kai somehow found out and talked her out of it. But that would have to be one hell of a speech.

Hope you don't mind me highjacking your question! I'll probably come back and edit to include Will's so that all four are on the same page.

I'll be interested in hearing anyone else's hot takes or opinions. Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments or post.

[dragonsnips]

Godzilla Minus One Review/Possible Spoilers

So I just saw Godzilla Minus One yesterday with my brother. And I have to say, it’s has to be one of my brand new favorite Godzilla movie of all time. This movie is really good, go watch it if you haven’t seen it.

No Spoilers-

So I’m breaking this review down into two sections so here we go. This is not spoiling the movie. I have to say this movie brought me feelings that I haven’t felt with any other Godzilla movie. Not even the very first Godzilla movie, 1954. Which is so strange to me because I love Gojira. That’s one of my favorite movie and it was on the number one spot for my favorite movie for a very long time. Till this movie came out and put Gojira down to number 2. I have never, found myself getting attach to any of the human characters, in a Godzilla movie for that matter. Sure, there are some humans characters I did like in Godzilla’s movies, but never attach. I was routing for these character to live, and have a happy life. I loved all of them, they quickly became all my favorite characters. Even Characters that appeared around the end of the movie started becoming my favorite. What’s going on? Do I feel ok? Why has a Godzilla movie did this to me. As for Godzilla…….Godzilla is terrifying. And I’m not just saying that. This is a movie where I was scared of Godzilla. And I love Godzilla, been watching Godzilla my entire life. Have pretty much all of the classic Godzilla movie. I’ve seen all of Godzilla movie. And Godzilla was menacing in most Godzilla films. Even, I hate to say this, but even Gojira wasn’t really that scary. Don’t get me wrong, Gojira is a classic, and it dose have some intense scene. And I did find myself getting scared of Godzilla, but not as much as I did with Godzilla Minus one Godzilla. The way Godzilla minus one moved, and acted. He was like an on stoppable force of nature. Nothing could stop this guy. And the way he destroy things,(ok that just me liking monster movies). It was how they build this Godzilla to make him stand out. He look like classic Godzilla, which I’ll talk about later. He didn’t look like Shin Godzilla, I have feeling about that movie, but I’m not taking about Shin. I’m talking about Godzilla minus one. Godzilla look pretty much normal, but he’s still scary. But beside Godzilla being scary and getting attach to human character. This movie felt like an old classic Godzilla, but in a good way. I felt like I was watching the 1954 movie all over again, but this time for modern audience. (Wonder how people felt when they saw Godzilla back in 1954). It had reference to Godzilla in the pass while bringing new things to the table. (However there are a few things I didn’t like about this movie, but I’ll get to those later.) I went into this movie, expecting a lot of things, and came out getting more than I wanted.

Possible Spoiler-

Now we’re getting into spoiler part. If you haven’t seen Godzilla Minus One.

Skip this Part!!!

If your find with Spoilers, or have seen the movie already. Let’s get Started. I don’t want to go into to much depth so I’ll just brake things down to some of my favorite scene. The ending, yes I’m talking about the ending because it’s one of my favorite moment. And that plot twist at the end. I won’t say much about it, but you’ll be very happy with the plot twist. And when Godzilla first showed up in Tokyo, it was Gojira all over again, and when Koichi lost Noriko, it broke my heart to see him sad and alone again. And how Koichi had made new friends on a boat to deal with bombs. His friends are cap, kid and doc. Those are the nickname they all had, but you all are going to love them all. And how Kid came in and help everyone with Godzilla…..🥹

Ok, I know that part is really short, but I’ll be there all day and I don’t want to spoil the movie for anybody. Now I getting down to what I don’t like about the movie. This should be short because there isn’t a lot a hate about this movie. The first thing is, well I was hoping for a more of a build up to Godzilla. Like we did with Gojira. But that just a minus…..get it….. minus. I’ll be going 🥲. And I don’t know if I’m the only one here, but I don’t really like how Godzilla’s spines are coming out of his back like that, whenever he charge up his atomic breath. Don’t get me wrong, I love his new atomic breath. I just don’t really like the spine coming outward whenever he charge up his beam. It just look silly on him. And last, I wish there was more destruction. Silly right? Asking for more building getting destroyed in a Godzilla movie that’s already good enough. Yes, I’m asking Al that because I was hoping for like Godzilla to destroy Tokyo a second time, like he did in Gojira. But I’m still happy with what we got. I just wish for more destruction.

And there you have it, a review on Godzilla Minus One. Well, this is more of a my opinion of the movie. I don’t normally do this type of things, but I wanted to get out what I thought about Godzilla minus one. Tell me guys what you’re thoughts on the movie was. And what your top 5 favorite Godzilla movies.

Here’s mine.

1.Godzilla Minus One

2.Gojria 1954

3.Godzilla vs Biollante

4.Godzilla Against Megagodzilla

5. Godzilla King of the Monster 2019