#( so don't think. for one second. that looking after your mental health would ever indicate otherwise. )

[soulprompts]

i wanted to write another reassuring psa for you lovely people today, primarily because i've seen some posts on my own dash and it might seem very unsettling for people who haven't been on the dash for so long.

when someone announces that they'll be doing a spring-clean and limiting their followers, that is not an insult nor is it ever intended to be.

here's the thing. on tumblr, we forget ourselves. you see your list of followers as a number and maybe you think "oh wow, that's a good number, i must be doing something right!" and it's a lovely feeling! now let's say you have 150 followers. let's say 30 of them have more than one blog on which they're following you, so that's. let's say it's 100 people.

now imagine this scenario: there are no computers. there are, instead, 100 people standing in a line in front of your desk. they have two or three roleplay memes to deliver, a thread or two to continue. that's 500 things, maybe, for someone to do. someone who already has other obligations behind the screen, like a job, or school, a family, ANYTHING. either way, even if they really have nothing else going on, 500 things is a LOT. and maybe you're actually experiencing stress doing something that's supposed to be lowering your stress levels as a result.

now this isn't me telling you that 100 people is too many people to be following. it's just an example. some people manage just fine with more, or less. but if you're at home, stressing and panicking over just how many things you have to focus on here, and then maybe you wanna explore a new verse, a new idea, a new SOMETHING, then it's very overwhelming. and i want you to know something.

it is okay for you to decide to lower your follower count. you are not a bad person for doing that. the people you remove from the list of mutuals are similarly not bad people. it's sometimes just a necessary thing to do, and i know for a fact that it's not a decision that's instinctual; it's often a choice made after weeks of taking a break and deleting drafts and emptying inboxes. you can refollow again when things are easier! nobody said you can't! but we have to stop normalizing the idea that it's okay to be stressed on here. it isn't. we're here to have fun. i love you all, go hydrate, stretch yourselves out, play some music and wash your face.

[cat-vase]

Hi. I've made a post about this before, but I have more information now (and hopefully I can organize it better).

Ghoul is a n//zi. Only censoring because I tried to make this post already and it didn't show up.

Here is a list of all the social media accounts I could find that he uses so you can block/avoid him.

There is a possible tumblr sideblog I might be unaware of (edit: this has been found!). Click the read more for more details/evidence.

Twitter: xGOREGHOULx

Tumblr: d34d-d06-404 (warning for bright/eyestrain theme on desktop)

Tumblr sideblog: fourexforevrrr

Discord server: OBJECTZSPACE

Discord username: gir4life

Pinterest: deranged_number4 + xX4_1STH3B35T1NT3G3RXx

Youtube: xGOREGUNK2009x + xGOREGHOULx

Soundcloud: xUR LOCAL GABBER KIDx + GORE GUNKZ

Pronouns.page: xGOREKIDx

Rentry: DERANGEDFOURNER (warning for bright/eyestrain/flashing gifs)

Carrd: goreghoulquest (warning for moving/spinning/rotating background image. i'm dizzy/have a headache from it. it's a first person video game perspective of somebody spinning in circles in a brick maze.)

On October 21 2023, Ghoul posted these to his pinterest. I looked at the website page data in order to get that date, because I don't think pinterest has a clear way of showing when things were posted (and if it does, I don't know about it).

That's the n//zi salute from Kratcy (CFMOT) and n//zi uniform from Yoshka (CFMOT), complete with a red n//zi armband.

In the last one of Kratcy, the caption is HEIL, MEIN FÜHRER!!! In English, this means HAIL, MY LEADER!!! Führer is the title Hitler gave to himself when he came into power.

On October 22 2023, Ghoul posted this to his twitter.

Three drawings of Four (BFDI/BFB) wearing a n//zi armband. It's censored out in two of them, but Ghoul forgot to censor out the first one. This is an indication that he knew it was bad to draw/post, but did so anyway.

Later that day, he posted this.

Another drawing of Four wearing a n//zi armband, with a caption to spell it out for you.

On October 23 2023, he posted to his twitter again.

Another one.

On December 20 2023 (two months after all those posts), somebody on twitter pointed out the armband in Ghoul's post. The callout post got a little traction, some of the other art was found, and Ghoul was asked why he drew n//zi art. This was his "apology." I included the second screenshot so you know I'm not intentionally cutting anything out with the first screenshot.

Mania does not suddenly make you antisemetic. Mania does not suddenly compel you to draw n//zi imagery. Ghoul tried censoring two out of the three images, trying to hide it. He clearly knew it was a bad thing to do. He is using mental health issues to excuse his actions.

On December 21 2023, he answered this ask on his tumblr.

And then left this in the replies of the ask post.

Again, using mental health issues as an excuse. If you felt bad for it, wouldn't you have deleted it as soon as you got into a clear headspace? Would you not have addressed it sooner instead of waiting for people to call you out on it first? If you were truly trying to ruin your reputation, why did you try to censor some of it? It isn't "old art", either. It's from three months ago.

I'm including this screenshot so people know what the discord server looks like. I am not in this server, I only clicked the link to get the screenshot. I do not know if anybody is co-running this server along with Ghoul, or if it is only Ghoul himself running it.

I'm including this poll because I don't know if he ever made that sideblog or not. If he did, I don't know the url. If anybody does know it, please tell me. I'll leave your name out of it. I just want people to be able to block it if it exists.

Edit: This sideblog has been found! It's @/fourexforevrrr

As of writing this post, it is January 7 2024. Ghoul has not said anything about this since and continues to post art like normal. I don't want this to be swept underneath the rug. I'm not allowing a n//zi to exist in the object show community. I don't care that he's a minor (16). This is vile.

[maplecornia]

Chapter 4

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 3.06K

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: this one is literally just revolving around one of the BTS members. i don't really have much else to say other than HYUNJIN'S BACK and I'm crying.

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language

tags: @kookaine | @fangirl125reader | @kookiebbyxx | @taradevonne

Kim Namjoon never imagined he would lose his assistant.

JaeJin was a great worker and a great friend. He loved music and expressed it through his very soul, his every move whenever he danced or helped Namjoon produce a song. Namjoon smiles as his hand hovers over the soundboard.

In the back of his mind, he remembers the days spent here ever since Jaejin was promoted to his assistant. He remembers the first time he met his dear friend, how nervous Jaejin looked, unspoken excitement reverberating off of him in waves.

As Namjoon pushes up the volume on the soundboard, he thinks back to the moments spent as Jae learned how to be his assistant, as Namjoon taught him as much as he could. How what started as respect turned into a mutual friendship, and later, a brotherhood.

Though Namjoon is sad to see JaeJin go, he is happy to see his dream accomplished. He will miss Jae's smile, his laugh, and his good heart, but he knows that just because Jaejin is taking a different path doesn't mean they will cease to be friends.

As soon as Joon finishes a part of his song, he sighs, pulling away from the board and whipping out his phone.

He doesn’t know why he started thinking about him all of a sudden, he was one of the first people to know that Jae was leaving. Besides, he would see him soon, it’s not like Jaejin leaving for a couple of months means that he won’t ever see him again.

Standing, RM walks out of the room, leaving Suga to continue by himself.

He's lucky that Yoongi has his headphones on. If he caught Namjoon slacking he wouldn't get off easy. Carefully, RM exits the room, shutting the door softly behind him as he leans against the wall next to the door to the studio. Turning his phone on, he checks the time, his heart thumping slightly.

8:30 am.

Perhaps the reason his mind is so full of nostalgic memories is that he’s been waiting since last night to meet his new manager.

Jaejin said that his replacement should show up around this time, but he hasn't given much information other than that. Namjoon pockets his phone and heads down the hallway towards the front lobby.

Staff members pass by him, some working for TxT, others for the new girl group they put together about 3 years ago, and even more for the new boy group that BigHit began putting together in 2020.

Namjoon finds their presence surreal.

The members of BTS's staff have been around ever since their debut, and even more, have joined the crew over the years. These staff members will no doubt do the same for their groups, maybe stick around till the very end.

If anyone asked Namjoon's opinion, he would say it was the staff that had to do the real work. And all from behind the scenes. They are the ones who help them put on a great show. They are the ones who tutor them, provide for them, allow them to create their vision, their masterpiece. They are the stitches behind the fabric.

To Namjoon, BTS is just the face. The whole idea of them, of their message, was created through everyone's effort. Including ARMY, including their staff, including BTS themselves.

Losing one of their members would be like trying to fill a hole that cannot be filled.

Perhaps that's why Namjoon is so worried about Jaejin's replacement.

No one can truly replace him.

Namjoon never wanted a new manager.

There was a reason he chose Jaejin out of all the others, a reason he turned a backup dancer into his manager. He needs someone with the same passion, the same grit, the same determination that he has. Jaejin had that, and more. He was able to keep up with Namjoon’s crazy schedule, his unhealthy habits, his tendency to overwork himself.

Normally it was Suga trying to keep up with him, trying to help him, trying to do the best for him, but when he met Jaejin, he found exactly what he needed in a manager.

Will his replacement be able to do the same?

Entering the lobby, he knocks on the counter, where a receptionist is taking a call. She looks up at his knock and he smiles at her, receiving the usual smile back and a slight blush on her cheeks.

After a moment of their little staring contest, Namjoon grows impatient. He indicates silently that he’s waiting to speak with her and her eyes widen in realization. She nods sheepishly at his signal, holding up one finger to signify to him that she'll talk to him in a second. He complies, settling in as she continues her call, faintly aware of Kim Namjoon behind her.

Namjoon is never sure how to feel about these types of things.

People recognizing him in the street, others noticing him even with a disguise, he doesn't know what to do with the attention.

Why didn't people pay attention to him before? When he didn't have all the makeup, the money, and the influence? Are they looking at him because they appreciate who he is as a person?

Or because he is Kim Namjoon?

RM of BTS.

Putting the thought out of his mind, he turns his back to the receptionist, unlocking his phone, and opening the chat with Jaejin. He doesn't see any sign of his replacement, but then again, how would Namjoon know what she looks like?

Hey

YOUNG APPRENTICE- oh hi, what’s up hyung?

When was your replacement supposed to be here again?

YOUNG APPRENTICE- ummmmm, 8:00 am or so, why?

RM pulls away from his phone, looking around for any sign of a girl who looks lost or out of place in the lobby. Every time Jaejin talked about this so-called friend, he referred to them as a “she” so the only thing Namjoon knows about this new manager is the fact that she’s female.

Sadly, as he desperately scours the lobby, there's no sign of anyone there that fits the description. The one girl who was waiting in the waiting area has just been called aside and led to a meeting room. Namjoon, a little worried, bites his lip before a buzz in his hands causes him to glance at his phone.

YOUNG APPRENTICE- Namjoon?

Yeah?

I’m sorry it’s just….she’s not here yet

YOUNG APPRENTICE- WHAT

Namjoon rolls his eyes playfully at Jae's reaction before walking out of the lobby. If she's not here, there's no need to hang around, and it doesn't seem as though the receptionist is paying much attention anyway.

As he leaves, the receptionist stares after him almost hopelessly, Namjoon oblivious to the longing gaze.

He glances at his phone once more maneuvering his way through the hallways of the building.

YOUNG APPRENTICE- are you sure?

YOUNG APPRENTICE- I'm gonna murder her

Well I can’t know for sure

Could I have a picture or maybe a name?

YOUNG APPRENTICE- I never gave you one?

Not to my knowledge

YOUNG APPRENTICE- oh I am so sorry hyung! Her name is Lin Yen and just give me a minute and I'll find you a picture

"Lin...Yen...." Namjoon murmurs, pondering it in his mind.

"Just who exactly are you?" he whispers, putting the phone down once more as he comes to a stop in a corner of the hallway.

Yen...he repeats in his mind, playing around with it, trying to see how it sounds on his tongue, how it feels circling in his thoughts, how it plays on his voice.

It's a beautiful name, one he hasn't heard often, and for some reason, he feels as though it's foreign. Another vibration from his phone jolts him out of his pondering thoughts, and he looks down at the screen, immediately bursting out laughing.

Jaejin has sent the picture of you, but it's not just any picture.

It's a picture of you eating salad.

But that's not what makes it so funny.

You and Jaejin are at a Korean BBQ in the picture, and you hold the signature salad bowl up to your face, your chopsticks hooked around an enormous bite. You're shoving the bite into your mouth, your cheeks puffed up like chipmunks, your eyes wide and nose pinched.

Your expression, your face, the fact that you're attempting to shove a huge bite into your mouth, everything about the picture is hilarious, and Namjoon can't stop looking at it.

He can't stop looking at you.

Now he is sure that you are a foreigner, with that complexion and your facial features. You aren't necessarily tall, but not super short either. Then again, Namjoon doesn't think that Park Jimin is short, so what does he know?

One thing is for sure, though…

You are beautiful.

And it’s not only the physical things that make you beautiful, though they are a contributing factor.

It’s the personality.

The charisma that exuberates off of you, managing to touch him most charmingly through a mere photo. The way you smile, how it lights up your eyes. The blush of your cheeks, and even the color of your hair. Everything about you has captured his attention, and he can't look away.

His smile doesn't want to fade, so he covers his face with his hand, leaning against the wall. No doubt he looks like an idiot, but he doesn't care.

You have that gift.

The natural gift of familiarity when you are less than strangers.

And it has surprised him. The cool, calm, professional, wise Namjoon wouldn't have thought that such a thing could reach his heart...and yet he can't stop smiling.

"Namjoon."

Startled, the smile fading just as quickly as it began, Namjoon jumps, his phone slipping out of his grip. Frantic, and a bit embarrassed, he fumbles to catch it before it falls, but to no avail.

He watches in hopeless despair as the phone hits the ground with a sickening thud, the screen immediately cracking at the impact of the harsh tiled floor.

Namjoon lets out a groan, while a slender, pale hand reaches out and picks it up. Wincing, he glances to his side.

Where Min Yoongi holds his phone in between his fingers as though it were a dirty piece of trash; looking unamused. Glaring at him with a stare as cold as ice, he drops it into RM’s hands before folding his arms across his chest. Namjoon rolls his eyes at his luck, sighing inwardly.

He doesn't look too happy.

"Hey, Yoongi, I--"

"Yes, please explain, Kim Namjoon." Yoongi drawls, his voice monotone and sending shivers down Namjoon’s spine. Almost shamefully, Namjoon turns off his phone and slides it back into his pocket, avoiding that icy stare.

"You're supposed to be helping, yet you left for what? To laugh at memes? Now is not the time to be fooling around with Jackson for heaven's sakes!” Though Yoongi doesn’t raise his voice, the severity of his tone is enough to make it seem as though he has and Namjoon has to restrain himself from visibly flinching away from him. After a moment of silence, Suga sighs, rubbing his temple with frustration. “Why are you so distracted today?"

Joon has been asking himself the same question.

"For one thing, they weren't memes and I wasn’t talking to Jackson. It was a picture of Jaejin's replacement. I was trying to see if she's arrived yet." He explains, a bit indignantly, before walking away towards the studio once more, hoping to escape the conversation.

He should have remembered that nothing escapes Yoongi.

"And did she?" Suga follows Namjoon, managing to walk fast enough to catch up with him and yet still look nonchalant and unbothered. RM sighs at the question, speeding up his pace, as he notices the studio door in the distance.

Jumping at the opportunity, Namjoon makes a break for the door, Yoongi calling after him in surprise. He reaches it, leaving Suga behind in the dust. Opening the door he sinks into a chair as though it were a refuge from the uncomfortable situation he found himself in. As Yoongi comes to a stop in front of the door, Namjoon acts as though he were there the entire time.

"Do you need something?" he asks innocently, and Yoongi rolls his eyes, walking in and closing the door behind him before settling into a chair of his own.

"Yes. I need you to focus on this project. This is important, and is nowhere near done if it's going to be our next title track." He murmurs, immediately setting to work, his mouse echoing in the silence. Biting his bottom lip in guilt, RM turns back to his phone, frowning a bit at the sight of the cracked screen.

Yoongi is right, Namjoon knows this.

They dedicated this day to work on BTS’s new title song.

Namjoon especially wanted Yoongi to produce it because of his incredible skill and work ethic. He practically begged him to take time off from his other projects to work on this with him, Yoongi is sacrificing a lot of his time just to be here.

Namjoon knows how important time can be.

It doesn’t help matters considering how this song is so essential to their comeback album. Promotion is still far off, but it doesn't change the circumstances. ARMY waited for them for so long to come back to them, it’s only fair that they give them the most groundbreaking album they can.

But RM can't focus.

And it’s for such a stupid reason.

Just because Jaejin is gone doesn't mean the world will fall apart.

He knows this, it's just...

Namjoon smiles a bit bitterly, turning back to the booth as he resumes his work once more.

"She wasn't there." Suga turns to Namjoon at the sound of his voice. Namjoon notices but doesn't pay any mind, continuing to play with the soundboard, creating his type of spell, his sort of magic. "In response to your question."

Yoongi doesn't respond, waiting for Namjoon to finish. That's the way he is, sometimes RM can’t finish a thought in one sentence and it takes him a moment to piece things together, what with everything else running through that expansive mind of his. Suga knows when to wait, when to stay silent, and allow RM a chance to tell him everything he needs to.

He's no stranger to listening to people, especially when it comes to Namjoon.

Sometimes, Joon just needs to let something out without anyone saying anything, and Yoongi won't say anything unless he feels it's necessary. He’ll listen, and be there for anyone to lean on, able to offer them the emotional support they need to carry on.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm a little nervous to meet her." After a moment, Yoongi responds to him, his soft voice carrying across the room in a comforting murmur.

"What's the big deal? If she's professional, she'll be perfect. I'm sure there's nothing to be worried about." He reassures him. RM nods, trying to concentrate once more, and put the thought of your arrival to the back of his mind.

Maybe Yoongi is right, maybe there is nothing to be worried about.

However, Namjoon can't help but think that your arrival will change their lives.

And who knows if it'll be for the better?

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: how are you guys liking Jaejin now? lol

chapter 5 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

[tedturneriscrazy]

Here's Eclipse Lake, an episode that has been highly anticipated! Will it top Knock, Knock, Knockin' On Hooty's Door?

I'll skip the pretense: No. It won't.

You'll see under the cut.

Hmm, that list of ingredients for the Grimwalker...I'll let other people theorize about this (like @sepublic ), but it sure looks like a thing

Guess the mysterious green goo won't cut it, huh?

Belos face reveal already?! Huh, didn't expect it so soon.

Oh, no, he's hot! (And I'm mad about it)

Still an ass, though

Now we know why Hunter was wearing a different outfit (because people fixated on that for some reason)

Amity with the clipboard gives me strong Dipper vibes

GHOST! My beloved!

I need a moment because CAT!

(Also, someone pointed out earlier that Ghost was based on Dana's cat, and that's super obvious in hindsight)

Raine?! Oh, wait, you mean rain. Sigh.

Eda gets training tips from DBZ confirmed

(Also Amity's face when reacting to Eda's explanation is priceless)

Oh God Eda's a weeb I need another moment

Damn, Amity just straight up calling Eda old

Oh, loopy Luz

(The abomination holding the tissue box is adorable for many reasons)

Yeah, don't want Luz to eat the McGuffin

I have several questions about those Tamagotchis that I'll refrain from listing here

Amity your Odalia is showing

Girlfriend counter: 1

(Yes I am introducing a counting gag, deal with it)

Was wondering if they were ever gonna reference the dissection incident. We've come a long way, baby!

Oh, so that's what everyone was looking at

Luz honey your enthusiasm is admirable but no

Luz burrito is quite cute, though

Girlfriend counter: 2

(Damn, still wild to think that that's the case)

Just occurred to me that "Boots" is probably shortened from "Bossyboots" from earlier

Guess the Luz hiss compilation needs to be updated again

Those tunnels ain't the only thing around here that's unstable, amirite?

Oops, guess Kiki was justified, after all

Maybe don't talk so loudly about your plans, dude

That is her son, get it right!

Serves you right for having that stupid strand of hair sticking out like that

Is this just the episode where everyone dunks on White Boy? Because I can totally get behind that.

Already mentioned this, but I am loving the parallels between Katara and Amity with that bottle of abomination goo. Insert obligatory "Two Nickels" meme here about Mae Whitman.

We really are just dunking on the white boy and I am living for it

Hooty had to get it from somewhere, I suppose

Nothing says mother-son bonding like shooting things at each other (see also: Separate Tides)

I'm sure the magic bouncing off the veins won't come into play later at all

Oh well, at least the echolocation looked cool

At this point Amity would kill Hunter for a Klondike bar

Wait why does Hooty need a chair

Willow with the galaxy brain ideas

"A bad but sad boy" Luz is a genius at succinctly summing people up

Kikimora continues to be unhinged. Ironically she's not wrong about Hunter.

Motherfucker stop acting like you know what that says

(Also, projecting much?)

Girlfriend counter: 3

Friendly reminder that Hunter is still an antagonist

Uh oh

UH OH

I know someone mentioned Willow having the brain cell, but honestly it seemed like Luz had it this whole time. And that's not good.

WHY IS FOOL'S BLOOD EVEN A THING

Aaaaand cue the getting screwed over

Further reminder that he's still an antagonist (Apparently there's a vocal segment who's Really Mad at him that seem to forget this fact)

You unhand Ghost right now!! And Amity too, I guess.

(I kid, she's literally my second favorite character)

For what she did to Raine it warms my heart to know Kiki has had zero peace of mind

Wait, the Abomatons are Transformers?! Okay, that's kind of awesome, actually. Alador might be a shit dad but he is a brilliant inventor.

Chucking kids off cliffs is a surpisingly common pastime in the Boiling Isles

Owlbert no!

Eda did spend literal decades fighting the Owl Beast within, so I guess she can't be blamed for not thinking to talk to it

Also hurry up guys I'm very concerned about Owlbert

Fuck yeah Harpy Milf!

Yay Ghost returns!

She's glad they're okay (I didn't need to take this, I just thought it was cute. Also this is surprisingly high quality considering I just took a photo of my TV screen)

Oh, so they do have video games in the Demon Realm. That or Luz introduced them.

Trailer shot!

Oh dear, we about to have a fight over the key

Wow, being so high ranking under Belos is really bad for mental health

Jesus Christ Belos what have you been putting in this poor kid's head?

Leave it to King to give radical recontextualizations

Amity, I'm glad you remembered/realized this about Luz, please don't let the sad white boy play you like that again

Also, I appreciate the gesture you're making, and it's a wonderful summary of your character development, but goddamnit he's gonna go for that key because he's STILL AN ANTAGONIST

"Being nice usually works for Luz!" A) Not always, and B) Amity I love you but Luz you are not. A valiant attempt nonetheless.

Ooh, cool fight scene!

Always lovely to see such superb animation

I was privately griping about not seeing Amity use magic for so long, and now I am fed

Don't think I didn't hear the glass breaking

Appreciate your ass from a hole in the ground, Golden Boy!

(jk I don't actually feel that strongly about him still. That kind of threat still isn't cool, though)

Oh so that's why it's the Common Mold!

It's kinda cute, actually. Or maybe it's just because it's Luz.

TIL Hooty is heat resistant

Apparently Owl Beast just wanted a snack

Girlfriend counter: 4

Also love how calling Amity her awesome girlfriend is literally the first thing Luz says to her upon returning.

Yesssss return the hug! You deserve it!

(I know there are higher quality versions of this screenshot, I just didn't feel like looking around)

King demands huggies, too! (And gets 'em)

Reminder that Amity is smart as hell. I knew that glass breaking indicated something!

So once again I've been had. I let the fandom trick me into thinking this episode would be way more intense. Guess that one screenshot was from the next episode.

Overall this was...fine. Some nice Lumity moments, Harpy Eda strutting her stuff, that gorgeously animated fight sequence; those were all lovely.

I do wish Willow and Gus had a bit more to do. And I'm still rather unenthusiastic about Hunter, to be honest. I've seen his type several times before, and the path they have for him is rather obvious. I may never share the fandom's love for him, and I guess I'll have to deal with that.

Anybody who says this was better than KKKOHD is a damn fool.

Mid season finale next week! I think Yesterday's Lie will finally bring the pain!

[kozu-chan]

synopsis: keeping up with a society that expects you to be perfect is exhausting in every way possible. you're lucky enough to have found someone who relates to navigate this brutal world with.

content warnings: fem! reader, cursing, insults, bullying if you squint, mentions of insecurity, a bit of fighting, mentions of mental health, and sakusa might be ooc but that's just to make the arguments a little more dramatic.

sour masterlist

growing up, you were a perfectionist. although this wasn't necessarily your fault, was it? at the young age of four, your parents discovered that you were, and maybe still are, gifted with talent for music. this led to years of guitar, piano, violin, flute, singing, and even harp lessons. throughout the years, you went through many concerts and hours upon hours of practicing your various instruments. this led you to attend the infamous itachiyama academy in high school and that was only the beginning of your troubles.

as a perfectionist, you dedicate yourself not only to your music, but to your studies as well. sadly, even you can't manage to balance school, music, sleep, and a social life and one of those things have to give due to your busy schedule, so you sacrifice your social life. sometimes you think that this was the wrong move because that just makes high school practically a living hell for you. that is, until about a week ago.

last week, you had a regular morning. you walk through the halls of your school and people do their best to avoid you, to not get in your way. however, that doesn't stop them from gossiping about you. "wow look at l/n. little miss perfect." "i dare you to talk to her!" "she's such an ice cold perfectionist." "i could never be friends with her. she's too serious." "does this bitch even have a life?" you ignore the comments as you make your way to your first class. sometimes you just want to yell at them to stop talking about you. to tell them how much it hurts you and how being such a perfectionist is exhausting. to let them know that their comments only add to how lowly you think of yourself. that you wish that you had even one friend because you feel so alone.

after school, you spend hours in the music room practicing a song you were thinking of performing, something self-written as a way of releasing your emotions. and once you think your practice is sufficient, you curl up against the wall and cry.

once your crying session is done, you get up and walk back to your dorm. on the way back, you see someone in the gym do an insane serve that slams down that just barely makes it in. you hear a groan of frustration followed by the oh so familiar sound of breath getting shaky due to crying. your gaze follows the sound to see the figure on the floor crying and your breath gets caught in your throat when you realize it's not just any player, but one of the top three aces in japan, sakusa kiyoomi.

"sakusa-san?" sakusa looks at you with what looks like a bit of fear but anger replaces his expression before you could confirm your suspicions. "what the fuck are you doing here? this is a private practice." his tone is cold, firm, and piercing. you could feel a chill run down your spine, but you ignore the feeling because other people, especially your parents, have been on the receiving end on your own tone that sounds just as menacing. the only indicator of crying being the red, slightly watery eyes that you can't help but sympathize with. "what are you staring at?" you snap out of your thoughts to respond to him. "i saw you on my way back to my room. i just happened to see you crying and i-"

sakusa sighs again in frustration. "and you what? just shut up and leave me alone!" "i just know what it's like, okay? you really think that you're the only one who's tired of not feeling good enough? the only one who's cried because you just want to get better but you don't see any improvement no matter how much you practice?" your voice is loud and yet on the verge of tears. you glace at sakusa, who now looks angrier but you don't care. "so sue me if i come off as a ice cold bitch who doesn't talk to anyone because i do anything and everything i can to be perfect even if i always fall short and sue me for sympathizing with you."

the room grows quiet, save for the sounds of your shaky breathing as you try your best to calm down before you actually start breaking down in front of him. it takes another few seconds before sakusa stands up and walks up to you. "l/n, right? yeah well you don't know me and you should just get out of my sight. you shouldn't be trying to get someone to stop crying if you're just going to cry yourself. just relax more." relax more? "that's rich coming from you." you're no longer crying and sakusa stops in his tracks.

"you're telling me to relax more when you don't seem to have any chill... ever. and let's not forget that your crying was what brought into the gym in the first place." you take a deep breath to calm yourself. "so... the gym is like your safe space, right?" sakusa doesn't answer, clearly exasperated and silently begging you to leave. "c'mon, sakusa-san! you can tell me!" you smile a little when he opens his mouth to talk, only to be disappointed by his response. "god, you're such an annoying bitch. go find someone else to bother!" you're disappointed but you're also persistent. after all, you are the one that figures out and teaches all the schoolwork you struggle with to yourself. "if it makes you feel better..." you sigh quietly and contemplate whether or not it was a good idea to expose yourself this much to someone you just started talking to. "if it makes you feel better, my room and the music rooms are my safe spaces." "it really doesn't. if anything, it just makes me feel even more pathetic!" a small smirk graces your features as you realize that you got him. "so this is your safe space? i didn't hear a denial!" sakusa rolls his eyes. "would you shut up already" "not until you admit it." he glares at you and you just look him dead in the eye, causing him to break (probably so you would shut up as he thinks you'll do if he admits it). "fine... the gym is my safe space... that you're encroaching on." you back away slightly because he was right. and you know that you would also be pissed as fuck if someone encroached on your safe space, especially while you were crying. "i'm sorry, i just wanted to help. but, maybe we could be each other's safe spaces?"

you mentally sigh in relief as sakusa looks just the slightest bit more comfortable upon hearing that. "i mean, you know what it's like so... i guess i wouldn't be opposed to that." the two of you give each other a small smile as you sit down a good length away from him. "god, it's brutal out here, huh?" sakusa lets out a small laugh and agrees.

"sakusa, are you really gonna go pro like they say you are?" sakusa looks at you for a second and nods. you even notice his eyes lighting up a little. "yeah, that's what i want. it's what i've wanted for as long as i could remember. i wouldn't work so hard for it and get so dirty if it wasn't my dream... what about you? are you going to become a musician?" now it's your turn to pause. you freeze up. it's been so long since someone's asked you what you wanted. "i... honestly? i don't know what i want anymore. it's been so long since i've been asked what i wanted. it's been so long since someone's seen me outside of the "little miss perfect" that everyone else sees... i don't know." you take a moment to recollect your thoughts. "i just hate the thought of disappointing people that i think i've lost myself in the process. i've been pursuing music for so long that it's familiar, it's instinct, and i can't see myself doing anything else because i haven't done anything else..." your voice gets quieter as you speak. this is the first time you've ever gotten a chance to voice out your thoughts to someone and your own revelations shock you.

"yeah, i think i'm getting there too. losing myself to satisfy everyone while trying to stay true to myself. after all, who am i if not exploited?" it takes a minute to digest the words that were so simple and yet so powerful, the six words that could be used to summarize your entire life. "it sucks, doesn't it? like all i did was try my best, and this is the kind of thanks i get? annoyance and isolation? awards and acknowledges of achievement but at what cost? my social life? my mental health? ... my identity?" sakusa looks like he's going to say something but you shoot him a look and his mouth closes to let you continue. "it's literally so fucking stupid! there's literally no actual reward for me anymore, nothing satisfying. it's all worthless - meaningless, even. sometimes i wish i could disappear..."

a small breath is sucked up and you turn to sakusa. "sorry that was heavy. i've just never had someone to talk to about this. at least not properly."

"i get it. i haven't really had a lot of people to talk to either. at least not that honestly. i'm glad we have each other now, because you were right. it is brutal out here and it's good that we can stick together now."

after that, no one really bothered you anymore and it was all thanks to your new friend and confidant.

a/n: sheesh this is one of the longest things i've written. i really hope you like it and i'm really sorry that i suck at endings!!

[boiolay]

See You Soon | side story

meeting the pediatrician

side story of See You Soon, but can be read separately kinda

dad!Jaehyun + doctor!Johnny

pairing: Jaehyun x reader x Johnny

genre: fluff; angst

word count: 3.1K longer than i planned

"Let's go, baby girl. It's just a quick appointment with your pediatrician. I know it might be scary since it’s your first time, but it’s just to make sure that everything is alright with you." You cooed at the little bundle of blankets in your arms as you made your way to the doctor’s office.

Ever since your daughter was still in your belly you had develop the habit of talking to her when the two of you were alone. You knew she didn't understand a word you said, but it made you feel connected to her somehow. It has been a month since she was born and you already missed the little kicks she would give you even if that meant going to the bathroom more times. But you couldn’t be happier to have your little girl in your arms smiling at the sound of your voice. 

You had the appointment set in the latest time of the day, you’d rather going in the morning, but Jaehyun insisted that he wanted to go with you and since he had a photoshoot during the day, you had to choose that time. And yet he was late. 

As you walked inside the office, you approached the lady that you assumed to be the receptionist with a soft smile and bowed your head lightly. 

“Hi. I have an appointment under the name Jung Seoyeon." 

“Yes, just a second, please.” She returned your smile before typing something on her computer. “Oh, she was Doctor Kim’s patient, right?” 

"Yes, she was." You said nodding and smiled with your lips pressed together.

Kim Jiae was a close friend of yours. When you first heard you were pregnant, you ran to her to make sure she would take care of your baby as soon as it was born. Of course she aggread right away. However, when she told you, after you gave birth, that she was moving out of the city, you cursed at her with all the bad words you knew. She just laughed and said that wouldn't let you down so she gave you the contact of one of her college seniors that she trusted blindly. Seoyeon couldn't be in better hands, she said. 

You’d rather have your friend taking care of your child, but you didn't have much of a choice. You felt bothered with the situation, after all you didn’t want some stranger being in charge of your baby girl's health, but Jaehyun had convinced you to have a first meet with the doctor before start judging and if you still didn't feel comfortable you would try to find someone else. 

The lady asked for some of yours and Seoyeon’s informations before kindly smile. 

“There is still a family inside. You can have a seat. The doctor will call you soon.” You thanked her and walked to sit on a armchair in the corner. You laid Seoyeon’s head on your shoulder to have a free hand to check your phone and message Jaehyun, receiving the reply not long after. 

[you]: where are you?? I’m already here

[Jaehyun]: sorry, i’m on my way. i was held back

You rolled your eyes and sighed knowing that you would probably just go by yourself. Right then the door of the inside office opened and a family walked out. You watched a little girl with a lollipop on her mouth smiling brightly and waving at someone inside the room. You let your lips curl up imagining that one day it would be your little girl, you turned to look at her sleeping figure and tenderly rubbed her cheek with your finger with a dreamy smile on your lips. It hasn't been long since you officially met her, but you couldn’t see your life without her anymore.

“Jung Seoyeon?” 

You were brought back to reality when a deep voice called your daughter’s name. You looked up and your lips parted softly. You didn’t expected a doctor to be that young and specially not that good looking. You stared at his face that held a charming smile before shaking your head and clearing your throat. You smiled shyly at him before standing up. 

“Hi, I’m Seoyeon’s mom. Y/n." 

“Nice to meet you, y/n. I’m Seo Youngho, but you can call me Johnny." You motioned to bow your body but the shook his hands what made you stop. “No need for formalities. Especially since you are holding a child.” He laughed softly before walking closer to you. 

"And this little one here is Seoyeon I imagine." Johnny said leaning to took over your shoulder with a soft smile, you noticed that his eyes sparked when he saw your baby’s face and you couldn’t help grinning at the soft stare he held. 

“Yes, she is. She fell asleep on our way here, but I’ll wake her up soon.”

“Don’t worry about that, she might wake up on her on. Shall we get in?” Johnny pointed his hand to his office as looked at you. You bit your lip softly and moved your gaze to the front door, letting out a sigh. Jaehyun wasn’t there yet. 

“Uhm, Seoyeon’s dad is on his way, is there a problem if we wait a little for him? He really wanted to be here.”

“Not at all. I can wait here with you if you want, but there’s a place where you can lay her down in my office if you’d like.”

“That would be great.” You sighed relieved letting your shoulder relax a bit, even though you loved having her close to you, you felt your arms heavier as the time passed. He smiled at you and nodded. When you reached to take Seoyeon’s baby bag, he gently touched your shoulder and took it for you. 

“It’s okay. I got it.” He grinned once again and before you could protest he was already holding the door open for you. 

Once inside his office, Johnny indicated the small crib and you gently laid Seoyeon down, you giggled softly as she raised a fist to rub on her face, you caress her tummy, but soon turned to sit in front of Johnny who observed the two of you with a side smile.

“Jiae told me a lot about you.”

“Oh, did she?” You scoffed with a warm grin. “I hope you don’t believe what she says, I’m not that bad.” He laughed throwing his head back and shook his head. 

“Actually she only said nice things. The only thing considered bad she mentioned was the time you almost killed her for moving.” It was your turn to laugh and you notice his eyes getting smaller as he smiled. 

“Well, she had just told me she wasn't going to be taking care of my newborn so… I mean I’ve known her for years, it was all planned that when I had a kid she would be our doctor.” He nodded slow as he looked at the baby in the crib.

“I totally understand. I would want my child to be with someone I knew and trusted too.”

"Oh. You don't have kids?" You gasped softly, you could tell he loved children just by the way he looked at your girl, and to imagine he didn’t have one was a surprise to you. He wrinkled his nose a bit and shook his head. 

"That's the thing I want the most, but my job doesn't really make it easy for me to meet someone with who I can make a baby with." He laughed rubbing the back of his neck. 

"How is it hard for you to find someone looking like thi- Oh I mean.” You put your hand over your mouth when you realized what you had blurted. “You are young and successful and… Not a bad view for the eyes." He let out a sort laugher and you felt your cheeks burning completely embarrassed about what you just said. "I'm sorry. I tend to talk a lot when I'm nervous.”

"Oh are you nervous?" He tilted his head with a playful side smile, almost a smirk, but you were too busy avoiding his gaze to notice that.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I was." You licked your lips and shrugged softly. "It's my first time choosing a doctor for my daughter. I don't want to mess up. It's not that I don't trust you or don't think you are good. I just...”

"You just don't know me."

"Yeah." You sighed nodding with a shy smile on your lips when you noticed him staring at you. He straightened himself on the chair and crossed his fingers while resting his elbows on the table. His tone didn’t held the playfulness of just seconds ago, but it still soothed you. 

"Y/n, that is completely understandable. I know it's not personal. You don't need to worry that you'll hurt my feelings if you don't feel like i'm the best fit for your daughter.” He smiled kindly.  “I think it’s really important for parents and pediatricians to be on the same page. I’m not here to tell you how to raise your daughter, but show the pros and cons of the path you want to follow. And it's up to you and your ex-husband to decide if my indications fit your interests or not. Plus, this is not a lifetime choice, you can change your mind whenever you feel like.” 

"That makes me more calm." You smiled kindly, buy soon followed your eyebrows softly. "But I didn't tell you Seoyeon's father is my ex-husband. Did I?" You tilted your head puzzled. He parted his lips, like he said something he shouldn’t looking at you with widen eyes. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude, but- Jiae made sure that I didn't call you by his last name so…” 

“No. No, you weren’t rude at all! It just caught me off guard.” You offered him a kind smile, what made him sigh relieved. “People usually assume we are still together so I’m used to be called Mrs. Jung.” You heard a little whine beside you and saw that Seoyeon was finally awake. You smiled down at her and stood up to take her in your arms. 

“Look who’s up.” You cooed at her that looked at you with small eyes. Johnny stared at the two of you with the corner of his lips up, he leaned forward to look at her face before asking hopeful. 

“Can I hold her?”

“Of course.” You smiled widely and walked closer to him carefully transferring her to his arms. You noticed the soft stare one again and you mentally thanked your friend for indicating such a caring doctor. 

“Hello, Seoyeon. Nice to meet you.” The doctor said formally making you laugh. He reached to hold her little hand to shake it, but she gripped on his finger making him grin. “Woah, you are a really strong girl.” 

“She loves grabbing hair too. And earrings! I can’t wear those anymore.” You sighed and rolled your eyes playfully with a smirk.

“Tell your mommy that’s because they are shiny and it catches your attention, Seoyeon.” 

You joked with each other for some more time, you couldn’t stop laughing at everything Johnny said. He made you completely forget that you were there for a doctor appointment. 

There was a faint knock on the door that caught your attention interrupting the conversation the two of you were having. A few seconds later you saw Jaehyun's head poking from behind it. He smiled apologetic looking embarrassed, your smile instantly died. You took a look at the clock on the wall, he knew you hated being late for appointment and yet he did it every time.

"Excuse me, doctor Seo. Your receptionist said it was okay to come in" 

"Of course! You must be Seoyeon's father. We were waiting for you." Johnny stood up from his seat and extended his free hand to your ex-husband. "I'm Youngho. Take a seat." You saw as they shook hands and Jaehyun introduced himself before his gaze felt on you, he had a regretful stare, but you didn’t caught on that, too mad to notice. As he sat down beside you, he smiled faintly.

"I'm sorry." 

"You always are." You murmured almost inaudible, but the other two heard. Jaehyun sighed softly and looked away from you. Noticing the tension, Johnny cleared his throat and smiled looking down at the girl in his arms. 

“Well, shall we talk about this little one, here?”

                                                         ♡

“Okay. What do we think about him?” Jaehyun asked uncertain as soon as you stepped out of the office. You had walked out of there with a huge smile on your face, you couldn’t have been more satisfied with Johnny, he was educated, very polite and it was the first time you saw Seoyeon being held by a stranger without crying. You didn’t feel like there was any issue that should be discussed, for you Johnny was the right choice to be made, but by the tone of your ex-husband you knew he was bothered by something. 

"Jaehyun, he was great! That’s what Jiae said, Seoyeon couldn’t be in better hands. Why? You didn’t like him?” You turned to look at him with a frown and he scoffed and gently adjusting your daughter that was moving on his arms. 

"He was flirting with you the whole time! He was more interested in you than in Seoyeon.” You could tell that he was annoyed, you just couldn’t understand why. 

"What? Jae, I’m sorry, but that’s total bullshit.”  You pressed the button of the elevator before turning your body to him and crossing your arms over your chest. “You think he was flirting with me because we were laughing when you came? He was just making small taking because we were waiting for you to arrive. And he was so caring with Seoyeon. I can’t believe you are saying this.” You sighed and ran a hand through your hair.” And next time you should just say you are not coming. It’s better than making me wait. You don’t need to be here if you don’t want, you know. I can do this by myself.” 

"I told you I was held back! And I want to be here with her. I want to be a present father and share these moments with you!”

“Yeah and are you being one?" You said quietly a bit upset looking down as walked into the elevator. You heard him sigh and follow you inside. There was a silence between the two of you until the doors opened again. 

“I’m sorry, I promise it won’t happen again.” You looked at him smiling softly and he felt like a weight was lift off his shoulders, you gently squeeze his hand before walking to the car. 

“Fine. Let’s just go home.” 

                                                        ♡

It had been two weeks since your visit to the pediatrician. Despite the initial first impression that he left on your ex-husband, Jaehyun couldn’t deny that he was very good at his job, so you decided that Johnny should be Seoyeon’s pediatrician. And you’ve been following all his orientations, one of them being to take your little girl to sunbathe and that actually became one of favorite parts of the day. You would go for a walk with her in the stroller early in the morning in the park near your house and then sit by a tree to read something while she took a nap. 

That was were you were right now, sat on a picnic towel with Seoyeon between your legs while you made silly to make her smile, you couldn’t help laughing at her reactions. You appreciate moments like this when there was only the two of you, it made your heart almost burst in happiness. The little moments you shared were like secrets that was only between the two of you, even though she wouldn’t remember them, you treasured it. She was your whole world after all.

“Y/n?” You were brought from your thoughts by someone calling you. You lifted your head, raising your eyebrows at the man in training clothes in front of you. Your lips parted softly when your eyes stopped for a second on the arms that were covered by the white medical coat the last time you saw him. 

“Johnny? Hi! What are you doing here?” You said with a smile as he looked down at you mirroring your expression. 

“I went for a run. I finally got the time to go back exercising.” He chuckled softly shrugging. “And the two of you?” 

“We were sunbathing.” You moved Seoyeon so she was sat on your lap. “Just like her doctor told her to.” You saw his smile reaching his eyes and you laughed softly at his next words.

“Oh, very wise this doctor of yours.” 

“I cannot disagree.” You stared at each other for a few moments before you diverted your eyes somewhere else with a shy smile. You felt his stare linger on you before clearing his throat.

“Uhm, y/n, are you here alone?” 

“Yeah. Jaehyun is working and everyone else I know are getting ready to,so we are here by ourselves, right, love?” You reached down to caress your baby’s head before finally look up to Johnny again. 

“I would ask you if you wanted to grab a cup of coffee, but I know you are breastfeeding so… Can I buy you a juice? You can feel free to say no, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable I just… like talking to you.” You bite your lower lip looking at him. He was a really nice and interesting man and you could use some company right now. You tilted your head and let the corner of your lips lift up before standing up and putting your daughter on the stroller. You cleaned the back of your pants and reached down to take the towel on the floor. 

“Let’s go then, doctor?” You didn’t miss the way his face lighted up at your answer. 

author’s note: idk this is so bad i wanna cry, but yeah that’s what we have. I’ll post part 4 soon. Love you guys! Thank you if you came until here. Feedbacks are welcomed and appreciated <3<3<3 DIDNT PROOFREAD I'M SORRY

[dutchdread]

"The promised land, I think I can meet her there".

This article argues that it's unreasonable to see the line as a romantic gesture from Cloud, and that an alternative interpretation of the line as a comment concerning the impending doom is more likely. __________________________________________________

People try to use this to prove that Cloud wants Aerith ever since 1997. Now lets be clear here, this interpretation is patently absurd as soon as you think about it for more than 2 seconds. Do you really think for a second that Square would end the game with Cloud randomly telling Tifa as they're about to die, "you know what I want to tell you before we die? I don't love you and I'm glad I'm dying so I can be with another woman in the afterlife"? They wouldn't, this is the most unreasonable story interpretation I've ever heard, whatever that line is meant to mean, it wouldn't be that. Let's be clear here, the only people who think that this line is a genuine argument in favor of Clerith, are people who are already Cleriths. They see the line, and find it to be in line with their beliefs, and it is. The problem is that that's not how science is done. The question isn't whether or not a piece of evidence is in line with your point of view, it's whether it disproves the opposite point of view, which in this case it doesn't. (Also see: "The Wittgenstein test") It should be noted that arguments like these do not do Cleriths any favors, because in addition to proving nothing, they show something fundamentally problematic about the Clerith view of the story. In order to believe that this line in incompatible with a Cloti interpretation of the story, there are a number of tangentially related positions that you'd have to defend. 1: It's impossible to want to be reunited with anyone except if you love them romantically. 2: Cloud is an absolute asshole who would dump a woman he just had sex with, just as they're about to die. 3: Tifa is the worlds biggest simp. 4: This is how SE wants you to see their characters. In one fell swoop of a bad story interpretation you've undermined the importance of all other forms of love, you've undermined the importance of Clouds character arc concerning guilt. You've basically trampled on those who suffer from mental health issues by simplifying their issues into love cliches, you've made a villain of Clouds character, made a mockery of Tifas character, and revealed that you don't understand basic storytelling.

This is the fundamental problem with these arguments that cause many of us to develop a distinct distaste for Clerith as a ship, because when Cleriths attempt to argue in favor of it, it often comes in the form insults towards all characters and stories involved. You could have a story about Cloud loving Aerith, but if defending said story requires you to argue that Cloud would leave a girl with two children, one of which is dying, for no other reason besides being lovesick, then that does a disservice to the characters, the story, and the franchise in general. In a sense, by trying to defend Clerith like this you're insulting the entirety of Final Fantasy. Are there people who are assholes? Yes, are there people who get straight up "pumped and dumped"? Yes. Is that the sort of hero that SE is trying to show us? Obviously not. (for more information regarding this I advise you read: Insane hobbits article where he touches on the differences between clean and messy narratives) If SE wanted to end the game with Cloud proclaiming his love to Aerith in some way, they wouldn't have Tifa hanging on his side while he's doing it, and she wouldn't respond with "yeah, lets go meet her" like the universe biggest simp. So what is actually said? Well, I am not a translator, but as far as I can tell Japanese doesn't have pronouns and the line generally refers to meeting people in the promised land, which includes Tifa in the people going, and it's not specifically about Aerith. Is Aerith included? Of course, she's probably even the main person to meet there, she's certainly singled out as the person talked about by certain supplementary materials, but it's not a romantic sentiment, it's a tragic "we're about to die" sentiment, meant to convey a more generally positive message about being "reunited" with those who have died. The more likely paraphrasing for this scene is: "Cloud asks for an answer from the planet, the planet reveals the lifestream, Cloud and Tifa realize they're about to die. Cloud muses that he thinks he gets it now, they're all going to die and be reunited in the lifestream, both with each other, as well as those who have died, with Aerith being the most obvious and recent example." So is there any evidence for this? Well, for one there is the storyboard for the scene:

c「帰るぞティファ」 t「え？」 c「俺達も帰ってからやることがあった。まだ…あの山の向こうを見てない」 t「うん…帰ろう」

Cloud: "I'm going home Tifa" Tifa: "What?" Cloud "We had something to do after we got home. We haven't seen the other side of the mountain yet ..." Tifa: "Yeah ... let's go home"

"the other side of the mountain" is a reference to the mountains of Nibleheim, where Tifa believed the dead went. In other words, this is either a reference to them going home because they have stuff to do, which ties into the general idea that Cloud and Co had to live in order for their sins to be forgiven, as is evidenced by:

“I’m going to live. I think that’s the only way I can be forgiven. All sorts of things… happened.” ~Cloud in case of Tifa.

Or more likely it's be a reference to how they're about to die. Neither interpretation says anything about this scene being intended to be a romantic sign towards Aerith. Now, of course, the line was changed, and intentions can change during development. But if we're unsure on what the meaning of a line is, then going back to the storyboard is a pretty good way to get context.

Page 27 of the FFVII Ultimania omega:

"They're talking about", confirming that this is a mutual discussion, and not Cloud in isolation.

Page 203 of the FFVII Ultimania omega:

Provides context for the intended ideas the line is meant to convey. It calls back to earlier concepts concerning death not being the end, and is something Cloud and Tifa talk about together.

From: Final Fantasy Art Museum movie card ( https://twitter.com/dorobbongie )

These are not prescriptive canon, but descriptively they can give us some indication of how we're supposed to interpret the line.

Also reinforces the idea that the final line is meant as a more inclusive statement concerning reunions after death. Taking these points into consideration it becomes unreasonable to take the "I think I can meet her there" as a shipping line between Cloud and Aerith. If it were:

SE wouldn't have hung Tifa from Clouds hips.

Wouldn't have had Tifa agree with the idea.

Wouldn't have done it as the two were about to die.

Wouldn't have the storyboard refer to a shared journey beyond the mountains.

And most importantly, SE wouldn't have followed it up with Cloud commenting moments later that he's going to live in order to atone for his sins, and that things would be different now that he has Tifa. Clearly meeting again in the afterlife was more of an immediate danger rather than an immediate goal:

As Tifa looked away from the sky towards the ground, she was fearful of the future. However, Cloud beside her chose to smile gently. It was a smile that she hadn’t seen before during their journey. Cloud noticed her gaze and asked, “What’s wrong?” “Cloud, you’re smiling.” “I am?” “Yeah.” “It all starts now. A new…” Cloud looked for the right words. “A new life.” “I’m going to live. I think that’s the only way I can be forgiven. All sorts of things… happened.” “That’s right…” “But when I think about how many times I’ve thought about how I was going to start a new life, it’s funny.” “Why?” “Because I’ve always failed everything.” “That’s not funny.” “After this … I think I’ll be okay.” Cloud was silent for a long time before he spoke again. “Because I have you this time.” “You’ve always had me.” “What I mean is kind of different,” Cloud answered with another smile. -Case of Tifa; revised; released with ACC.

__________________________________________ thank you "thelifestream.net" for some of this information, as well as Kagesakura (https://otp-oasis-heavenxearth.tumblr.com).

[kuronanox]

Insecure Love - Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez (AU-NSFW)

She was his prisoner and the toxicity surrounding their relationship put a strain on her mental health. No matter how much she wanted to leave him Grimmjow wouldn't allow it.

He got angry and would scream and break objects in the house scaring her to death and she knew he could have easily hurt her if he wanted to.

Sobbing as she hugged herself on her knees she threw her phone across the wall and screamed out of frustration. "I hate you!"

She knew she should have listen to her friends and family years ago when they told her Grimmjow was bad news, but her young and immature mind felt different.

It's been difficult as she had to pay off student loans and provide for the both of them and half the time she didn't know where he was anymore.

They both were intoxicated about each other no matter how bad things got in their relationship no one ever left, but they left scars towards each other.

Grimmjow happened to come home when he heard her yell in the bedroom, he wanted to fix their strained relationship by bringing good news to her for once. He was hired as a personal body guard to one of Japan most wealthiest celebrities.

"I hate him so much." She says picking up her phone and slamming the bathroom door to freshen up for the night.

He was conflicted if he was going to throw a tantrum and get angry or leave it be for the night, but he wanted to fix things so he chose to ignore her statement and pretend he didn't hear nothing.

(Your Name) was paying all the bills for the last few months after Grimmjow got fired from his last job for beating the shit out of someone, the dude had to be hospitalized.

"Hey." He says roughly as she opened the bathroom door surprised to see him home early.

"You're home early?"

"Tch. I live here too."

"Yeah well whose paying the bills right now? At least let me know where you go half the time." She bit back at him and plopped onto the bed leaning on her elbow.

"Don't start this shit right now." He says pulling his shirt off to get ready for a shower.

"Whatever."

That night after hearing the good news of Grimmjow getting a job again they didn't sleep much. There was a lot of cries and moans rather then words of encouragement.

(Your Name) wanted to be a normal couple for once but she was already broken she didn't know how to express her emotions anymore.

As he fell asleep she laid awake besides him under protection of his arms. The negative thoughts crept in her mind.

He was going to be a body guard to rich celebrities and it lower her self esteem.

It wouldn't surprise her if she found him in bed with one of them; after all she's caught him with other women a few times.

She scoffed why were they like this? They acted like children but they were already in their late 20s acting like high school kids in a relationship.

"Can't sleep?" He asks her with his eyes still closed.

"I'm okay."

"Stop I know something is wrong. You didn't even tell me congrats about my new job... you just kissed me and we had sex."

(Your Name) shivered at his touch because he was rubbing her arms lightly as if he was trying to comfort her discomfort. She was a little weird out by his actions the whole night. He was rarely ever gentle.

"I wanna talk about us." She tells him as he sighs and sits up from the bed and picks her up so she was sitting between his legs.

"Go on."

"Well I've been thinking. I'm almost 30 and we've been together since college isn't it childish to keep hurting each other like this?"

"Are you indicating we should break up?!" Grimmjow slightly raises his voice loosing his cool temper for a second.

"That's not what I'm saying... I just have a professional job at the hospital and well you have that job...it's just that what is our future together?"

Grimmjow doesn't say anything but stares at her, he hasn't thought much about the future but he knew she was going to be in his.

"Don't know." He answers bluntly as he could see in her eyes that she was a bit hurt by his answer. "You are my future."

She just shakes her head and moves away from him disappointed that was his answer to her after so many years together.

She was always called in random times at the hospital and Grimmjow was always traveling or not home because of work, but after the night she talked to him about their future together he reconsider everything he had done in the past.

He couldn't lose her as much as he already has. Grimmjow was slowly making things right for them. He started by coming home every night he didn't have to be away and letting her know where he was when he went out.

Grimmjow even made the effort to clean and cook the house when she came home late from the hospital.

"I just feel like the way he is acting now is temporary and we will go back to our old ways." (Your Name) tells Rangiku as they sat for afternoon brunch one day.

"Well, has he ever done any of these things before? Like cook and clean and even letting you know where he is?"

"No not really this is the first time."

Rangiku mixes her drink and takes a sip before speaking.

"Give it time, I think if he's willing to try new things to keep the relationship alive you should trust him a bit more."

"I guess so, it wouldn't be fair not to." (Your Name) agrees and sadly smile down to the table. "I guess I'm always the one doubting us."

"Good morning." Grimmjow says looking down at (Your Name) with a lopsided smile.

"Oh god he's morning voice is so hot."

(Your Name) sits up from bed and rubs her eyes, they were both naked in the covers. She didn't want to leave the warmth that they both radiantly pulled off so she fell back onto him and cuddled some more.

If she remember clearly Grimmjow took her out on a date as they went clubbing to dance for a bit and she got a little bit to lit. Which ended them both in bed for a good time.

"Did you have fun last night?" He asks her as she nodded slowly only remembering a few clips in the back of her head.

She remembered how Grimmjow unforgivingly pounded into her as his thrust were fast and steady. The way his rough hands held her down and explored every part of her body.

Grimmjow pulling her ass in the air and giving both of them a loud smack before abusing her aching pussy drenched from over stimulation. As she cried out telling him not to stop. The way his tongue fucked her as he sucked and gave long stroke on her clit.

She remembered how they hungrily kissed each other as their tongue explored every inch and how he seductively sucked her bottom lip leaving them plumped and bruised.

"I remember a lot actually." She tells him as his face lit up. Which tells her Grimmjow was definitely into last night heated session.

"Good, things have been great between us." He says as she traced his abs and slowly going to his lower abdomen making him shiver a bit.

"Just thinking about last night turned me on again." She admits feeling the dampened underwear she wore.

"Oh? I'm always down for another round."

Sitting between his legs she pulled his under garments away and threw it across the room impatiently. Grabbing his erected member softly she pumped it a few times and kissed the tip of it. He shuttered and groaned because she was going so slow but all he wanted to do was to fuck her pretty little mouth.

"Jeez baby if you keep teasing me I won't forgive you."

"Shh." She tells him and slowly puts her mouth around his member. Bobbing her head she looked up to him with lustful eyes. His mouth parted a bit as she moaned, the vibration added to the pleasure he was getting.

Grabbing her head he thrusted into her mouth gently as he hit the back of her throat.

Holding his thigh for support she pulled away and gave him long teasing licks around his erected member as she stroke and swallowed it whole again hollowing her cheeks as Grimmjow groaned in response.

Feeling herself getting impatient she slipped one hand to massage her aching core.

"Someone is rather impatient today." He says and pulled her up to face him as they joined lips again giving her a passionate lusty kiss.

Moving to her collarbones and to her breast he swirled her nipples like they were lollipops with his mouth sucking on them as he grabbed her ass and gave it a loud smack.

Releasing his mouth he laid her down and crawled on top, before entering himself he kissed her gently and brought one of her legs up trailing it with kisses.

Grimmjow stroked himself a bit before entering slowly into her drench and aching core. She bit her lip and arched her back, they felt whole again.

(Your Name) couldn't describe the feeling but it was pure bliss and heaven as he thrusted into her faster as he brought his hand and rubbed her clit. She moaned in pleasure and brought Grimmjow closer to her as she wrapped her legs around him. His balls hitting her ass as he kissed her drove her on edge as she moaned into his mouth.

Flipping her on all fours he pounded into her holding her hands behind her back she relied on Grimmjow so she wouldn't fall face down.

Grimmjow was started to get sloppy knowing he was going to cum soon, looking at the mirror he could see her face crying in pleasure and the way her breast swinging back and fourth drove him on edge as he groaned lightly.

Letting her hands go as she fell onto the comfy mattress he grabbed her hip and pounded into her unmercifully he breathlessly said "I'm about to cum."

"It's okay you can cum in me." She says as he leaned down and bit her shoulder and shot his hot seeds into her.

A few months pasted by and their relationship couldn't be any better. They hadn't fought in a long time. They were both happy together even though they had opposite schedules from each other they both tried their hardest to make time for each other.

"I'm leaving to America for a week." Grimmjow says to her one night as they ate dinner together on the couch.

"Okay, whatever your work tells you to do. I'm fine with that."

"Good, just letting you know. I've been getting quite the attention recently." He smirks running his hand through his hair.

(Your Name) knew her boyfriend was extremely good looking and that many women wanted him but after getting a job as a personal body guard with the hottest celebrities in Japan it lowered her self esteem. Although she didn't let it get to her because of how happy they were together it still bothered her.

"I know. I didn't think you were going to get that much attention."

Grimmjow shrugs and pulls her onto his lap. "Why you jealous?"

"Fuck no. You're ugly anyways."

He laughs as his phone rang showing a unknown number to her. Raising her eyebrow she gives him a look. "Aren't you going to answer it?"

"Nah just some annoying fan I'm guessing."

Although she wanted to believe Grimmjow she knew it was to good to be true that they were this happy. She knew Grimmjow was still suspicious.

"Okay then."

After taking his leave to America she saw the celebrity he was going with. She was Japan hottest actress at the moment. (Your Name) didn't want to feel down, but she was getting extremely insecure.

The actress was tall and beautiful, with slick black hair and the most expensive outfits that made her look even more high and mighty.

Before Grimmjow left the actress gave (Your Name) a look up and down and smirked entering her private jet.

"Fuck that bitch." (Your Name) said as she watched Grimmjow leave. "He's still mine."

She didn't hear much from Grimmjow that week because of the time difference and he claimed that he was super busy.

Grimmjow was starting to get his own small fan base in japan and it annoyed her because she felt like he was going to forget her slowly for fame.

When he got back from America everything was the same except she fought condoms in his luggage.

Grabbing them from his suit case she threw the whole case at him. "What the fuck Grimmjow? If you wanted to fuck another bitch at least be more secretive about it!" She yelled as he caught it.

"Woah it's not what you think!" He explains to her as she grabbed her own bags and started to pack.

"I can't do this no more, we can't with this relationship anymore. I'm almost 30 and I'm living a life of a newly college student. I want to advance my future! I want to get married and have kids! If I stay with you any longer I won't be able to love myself."

Grimmjow ran his hands through his hair and followed her in the bedroom. "I didn't do anything with her! I bought those in America for us." He tells her as she looked down and sighed.

(Your Name) wanted to believe him but from past experiences she was scared.

"I want to believe you but I'm scared." She tells him. Grimmjow pulls her close to him and makes her look at his face.

"(Your Name) I promise you I didn't do anything. I'm sorry I make you feel so low and insecure. I want to change that. Just because I work for those famous people doesn't mean I don't think you look just as good. You are the most fucking beautiful person I've ever met and been with. I don't want you to leave, I need you."

Wiping the tears from her face she held his face and traced his face with her thumbs.

"It's just hurts, it hurts to much. It hurts to know that you haven't thought about our future together. I can't let go of the past, your actions from before has caused me to be so cautious about everything you do. That isn't healthy!"

She screams at him as he felt his heart hurt from the way she told him her feelings she had been hiding the whole time.

"Please don't leave, I've been making things right for us. Why can't you believe me for once!" He argued back holding her shoulders tightly afraid to let her go.

That night she spend it in his arms crying.

Grimmjow stayed up till she was okay and comforted her.

Every word he told her weren't lies, he really couldn't see anyone else putting up with his shit besides her. He needed her to keep him sane.

"I'm sorry (Your Name)." He kissed her softly on the head as she snored below him fast asleep now.

Stirring in her sleep she held him tighter, his heart soften from this.

Grimmjow was a tough cookie and he was rarely nice, gentle and compassionate. Over the years he developed those traits being with (Your Name). Because of her he had many opportunities that came into his life and she helped him when he was at his lowest even though it hurt her along the way.

Grimmjow was blinded but slowly saw that (Your Name) will always be there for him no matter how much she says she wants to leave him.

He was ready for the future now, he let go of his past self and was working on his personal growth and goals.

Right now the bills are fine, they both have a stable job and their relationship was fixing slowly, he wouldn't have it any other way. Beside no relationship is perfect and he understood that they will always have their ups and down no matter how much they tried.

"Sleep peacefully (Your Name) I'll be here in the morning." Grimmjow says tiredly giving her one last kiss on the temple before drifting off to sleep.

[smileyoongle]

Masterpiece (A Park Jimin Yandere AU)

Summary: You thought it was just a painting until you bought it. You thought the man in the frame was beautiful until you saw him. You thought it was a masterpiece until you were ruined.

Pairing: Yandere! Jimin×Reader, Taehyung×Reader

Warnings: Contains mentions of smut, deaths, blood, obsessive behaviour and mental health issues. Please read at your own risk.

Your hands were placed firmly on either side of your bathroom sink, steadying you as you stared at your reflection in the mirror.

 Correction.

 As you stared at him through the reflection in the mirror.

 You couldn't tell how long you had been standing like this but you sure knew that you were about to pass out. Your hair was damp and it stuck to your skin, the towel wrapped around you absorbing the tiny drops of water that glided down your shoulders. There was a suffocating silence in the bathroom, the cool air from your bedroom making goosebumps rise on your skin. 

You were hallucinating, you concluded. How else could park Jimin be standing behind you right now? Paintings didn't come to life. Even though you liked that idea, they just didn't. Your mind was in a daze, unable to comprehend what your next move should be. But you had to do something. Maybe call out for help? Taehyung and Nan were right downstairs, weren't they? 

No, Y/N. They'd probably make you go back for another therapy session.

You swallowed thickly before inhaling deeply. Jimin stood still behind you, his smirk unmoving along with his eyes. If you didn't see the rise and fall of his chest, you would have thought he was a statue. 

"You're not real." You whispered, your eyes becoming moist due to the lack of blinking. Another beat of silence passed before Jimin's lips twisted into a grin. Your breath hitched, your fingers tightening their grip on the counter to keep you standing. He cocked an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side and resting it on the doorframe. 

"You tell me." Came his reply. His voice was gentle, like a lullaby. You didn't expect anything less but in all honesty, you weren't really anticipating any of this. This was pure madness. You were going mad. 

Your curiosity got the best of you and you just had to turn around, your eyes meeting the absence of the very man who was driving you nuts. To say you were relieved was an understatement, a grateful sigh leaving your lips almost immediately.

Okay, you aren't going mad. You're just sleep deprived.

You placed your hands on your hips, slowly stepping out of the bathroom and scanning the room for any kind of sign that someone had been here.

"Looking for me?" 

You flinched, your eyes falling on Taehyung as he stood with his arms crossed at your bedroom door. You gave him a disapproving glare for scaring you before walking past him towards your closet. Taehyung chuckled and followed you, his hands wrapping around your waist as you opened the doors to your wardrobe. Your heart did that thing, a frown gracing your eyebrows at the familiar feeling. It was because of Taehyung. No kidding.

You felt his hot breath on your neck, his lips meeting your shoulder right after. His hands gripped your waist tighter, pulling you against his body. As much as you wanted to tell him to leave, you couldn't.

"Tae, what are you doing?" You breathed, wincing when he bit down on your shoulder harshly. He peppered your neck with kisses until he reached your ear.

"What do you think?" He rasped, sucking right beneath your ear. You let out a soft moan before he turned you around. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, your lips pressing against his firmly. His tongue ran across your bottom lip, his fingers digging into your hips roughly and making you gasp. He deepened the kiss, lust clouding over both of you. 

You never had self control around Taehyung. Everytime you decided that you wouldn't do this to him, his touch had you melting. 

"Fuck, I love you."

The irony.

You immediately pulled away, your hands pushing Taehyung away from you. His hands loosened their hold on your hips, his chest heaving as an aftermath of the snogging you both had done. Taehyung closed his eyes in frustration, your shoulder brushing against his as you rushed past him.

 Taehyung wanted to slap himself for saying those words to you. He knew better than that but he just couldn't hold it back. He had to let you know how he felt, although your reaction told him that you already knew. For years, he stood by you, waiting for you to mirror his feelings but you never did. And every time he asked, he got the same answer. 

"I can't deal with the kind of emotional investment that a relationship requires."

You clenched the front of your towel, your other hand going towards the doorknob of your bedroom door. Your head began to throb, indicating that you were gonna be downing aspirins in a couple hours. Today was a little too eventful for you and not in a happy way. Everything was just going wrong.

"Just- just please tell me what I can do to change your mind.." 

Your hand froze on the doorknob, a subtle ache passing over you upon hearing the desperation in Taehyung's voice. You almost gave in. Almost. With a sharp inhale, you opened the door and turned to Taehyung, your eyes fixed on the maroon carpet of your room. You couldn't look him in the eyes, too scared to witness the pain in them. All because of you.

"Leave." You stated sternly, pursing your lips and waiting patiently for him to do as you said. You heard him chuckle bitterly, your fists clenching by your side. Your eyes fell shut as he walked over to you, his warm breath fanning your face before he placed a kiss on your forehead. You pursed your lips tighter, an apology begging to be let out. 

"Take care." Taehyung mumbled against your forehead, glancing at you one last time before leaving you alone. With shaky hands, you slammed the door shut, falling on the floor with your back against it. 

You tucked your knees under your chin, blinking rapidly to prevent yourself from crying. You felt dizzy, your head spinning as you tried to stay conscious. The events of the day were taking a toll on you, your body slowly shutting down. You whimpered and crawled to your bed, getting under the blankets with much difficulty. You were still in your towel, your fingers ripping it off you and tossing it to the ground. A single tear made its way to the side of your face, your eyes staring at the ceiling. 

"No matter how much you try to push me away, I'll always be here."

"You'll never be alone, Y/N. I promise to be your rock."

"I don't care what everyone says, you are my best friend and I'm not letting anyone take that away."

"We both could just stay single for the rest of our lives. No relationship rollercoasters!"

A sob escaped your mouth, your hand immediately going to cover it up. You were alone in your room but you still felt exposed. As if a hundred eyes were watching you break down. This was intimate, even in your own personal space. You didn't wanna cry. No. You weren't weak.

Taehyung's words kept running through your mind, making you wonder why things changed. He used to be supportive of your single-forever tag and now, he wanted the opposite of it. You wouldn't have cared if he got into a relationship, he was still gonna be your best friend. But the problem was, he wanted this with you. And something told you that he was in too deep for you to do anything about it. 

With a heavy exhale, you closed your eyes, the headache taking over along with the mental exhaustion.

_____________________________________________

Tears streamed down your face endlessly, the ropes digging into your skin as you struggled against them. The basement was dark and eerily quiet, the only noises coming from the gagged girls who lay unconscious at the corner of the room. It was a mistake. You should have just taken the long way home. So what if your dad would have gotten mad at you? At least you would be home. Safe and sound.

The dirty rag tied up around your mouth was wet with your saliva, protests leaving your mouth as you tried to scream. You still didn't know how you got here. All you remembered was that alley. That damned alley. 

A loud clanking of chains grabbed your attention, your eyes widening as you froze. Someone was coming, you could tell. Your chest heaved as you waited patiently for your kidnapper to show himself. You guessed it was a male. It had to be.

The silhouette of a man made its way to you, your head leaning forward to see who it was. And the second he stepped into the light, your blood ran cold. Cameron D'silva, your new neighbour who had managed to make you crush on him. His eyes were darker than you had ever seen, his dirty blonde hair a mess. His lips curved into a smirk, a sadistic one. You immediately shook your head, not being able to believe this. The one time you liked a guy, he ended up being a kidnapper? Wow. 

"Hello, Y/N. You don't know how good I feel to finally see you here. All tied up for me." He chuckled, running his fingers down your arm. You flinched, making incoherent noises until he rolled his eyes and took off your gag. You coughed, licking your lips before speaking.

"Why are you doing this?!" You asked, your vision hazy with the amount of tears that constantly pooled in your eyes. Cameron raised an eyebrow, giving you his sweetest smile. You wanted throw up at the show he was putting on. You couldn't believe that this was the same guy who had taken you to the fair as a date. 

"You see, I like you, Y/N. I really do. And it has always been a fantasy of mine to tie my girl up while I give her the time of her life-" You spat on him, glaring at him with all the hatred you could muster. You were disgusted by him. There was no way you would let him touch you. He clenched his jaw, wiping away your saliva from his face before chuckling bitterly. 

"You aren't the first one, Y/N. All those girls have defied me only to end up with the same fate. But don't worry, I promise I like you more than them. They are nothing compared to you." He said, grinning at you and playing with your hair. You gritted your teeth, ready to bite back when he harshly pulled your hair, making you scream in agony. The cynical expression on his face had etched itself in your memory, his eyes portraying the insanity that he possessed.

"I can't wait to ruin you…"

You jolted awake with sweat beading on your forehead, your heart pounding against your ribcage. Your throat was dry and your hands were clammy. Even in your naked state, you were sweating. You took in your surroundings, sighing in relief upon seeing your own bedroom.

Just a dream.

Even though you convinced yourself that it was just a dream, you found it difficult to breathe. Your lungs were on fire and your mind kept replaying the bitter dream again and again like a broken record. No matter how much you ran, that night always came back to haunt you. 

Your body trembled as you pulled the blanket up to your neck and rested against the headboard. You were slowly slipping away. Unfortunately, there was no Taehyung this time. He was gone and you had to help yourself alone. Your breathing turned shallow with every passing second, your head throbbing in pain. 

"Breathe, Y/N, breathe. You're safe here. It's all over." 

Your eyebrows furrowed, your attention moving towards the voice you had just heard. Your room was empty, only your breathing echoing through its walls. But whoever it was, your mind definitely reacted positively to the voice. You could feel yourself relaxing, your brain registering the fact that it was all really over. It had been years since that night and you were completely alright. Your eyes darted around the room, your body twisting around in the sheets to find the source of the voice. 

Hadn't you heard it before? 

You wracked your brain as you got out of bed, quickly putting on a robe over your bare body. There was definitely no one here, right? Suddenly, the realisation dawned on you, your eyes falling on the portrait in front of your bed. You had heard this voice during your little hallucination drama. Bingo!

Were you going insane for real?

Taglist: @csol16 @thanksforthemameries @min-t-posts @xanny91 @silverstitchedsoul @truestrengths @jackgot7lo @jazzytfw @cassiescarlet12 @kpopgirlbtssvt @slut-for-fandoms @kawaiimusiccollection @butwhatsoft @baby-glitch @wickedbutlovely @siphite @vincent-stargogh @sarcasticsmolstiles @khantij @btsarmysvtcarat @pr1nc355y05h1 @sugasheart @yoongass @smolwriterdude @iamcrazyforkdramas @roseofmyst @vannilacake @yeontanie21 @rottenratatouille @chimchimeebabo

Let me know what you think and also if you wanna be tagged! Ily bye!🖤

-XX

[yoursinfulurges]

Baby Blue Circumstances

Winwin ×| Taeyong ×| Jaehyun ●| Johnny ×| Irregular Office Series.

Description:

In which a handsome, young, rich man tries to persuade you into giving him full custody of your kids. Because 'Technically they were his'.......

Warnings: Graphic sex, not-so-vanilla kinks, mentions of adoption, abortion, alcohol, toxic relations, child neglect, plot based.

If you do not like any of these then i advise you to go read something else in my blog.

I feel like i don't need disclaimers because it's obvious that this ain't real so....

_____________

You scrambled to turn on the tv as the impatient three year old in your arm screams. Wincing at the sound as you hurriedly ran from one area to another. Your apartment filling with the sounds of high pitched cries, and overly positive pixilated cartoon characters. The cries seemed to only get louder as you placed her down for a millisecond, to swiftly grab her baby bottle from the microwave. It was well over Jaehye's feeding time, being that it was already two o'clock and that she usually ate at twelve. Your gaze shifts from the child in your arms to the other, peacefully sat on the sofa. Unlike his sister he was calm, even laughing at whatever the animated characters were saying. You smiled fondly at the child. And looked at Jaehye once more, noticing that her eyelids are at the midst of shutting, indicating that she was close to slumber. You smiled and slowly made your way to their shared bedroom. Entering the mellow, navy blue painted room; you carefully tried stepping over the lego's and ponies that were scattered all over the floor. Succeeding, and carefully placing your daughter on her bed. You wrapped her arms around her brown fuzzy teddy bear and gently tucked her in, not forgetting to close the curtains on your way out.

It had been exactly 1 year since you had adopted these two angels. Though it was a lifestyle that was quite hard adjust to, nonetheless you were glad you made the decision. You would've never imagined that you'd become a mother so soon, as you were just starting to get your life together. You were a college graduate one day and suddenly a mother of two the next. Your friends called you crazy; your father asked if you were mentally sane; your sister made it very clear to you she disapproved; whilst your mother tried persuaded you to do it. You were puzzled. But, you can truly say that it was the best decision of your life.

Yes it was a real pain in the ass at first, but now it's become second nature. You no longer have to wake up in the butt crack of dawn to feed them; as they were more than capable now to grab a baby bottle from the mini-fridge in their room. You saved up money and effort by potty training them. And your financials seemed to stabilized as you no longer needed to spend extra money on over priced diapers. You weren't exactly a natural at motherhood but over time you gained the skills and know the children like the back of your hand. Even having a stable routine for them, of course without the surprised tantrums and spontaneous needs for story times. Their favorite story by far was superwoman, as your daughter calls it. It the more child-friendly tale of how they came to be in your arms, but they didn't need to know that...

The story of these two touched you dearly. Really it was quite a fairytale. Whilst working as an editor for some fashion magazine you somehow caught wind of the story of these two from your co-works. It was said that they came from an unfit mother who neglected them, and left her twelve year old sister to care for the kids. Leaving them with sevier health problems. The mother was a drug addict that chose to spend her time at night clubs, instead of caring for her children. She liked the carefree lifestyle, and you tried to understand her, really. But everything went into the trash can after she was convicted for attempted murder of the kids, not to mention drug possession and distributing. You've met her and can truly say that she was the most vile and disgusting person you've ever met. And the father?.... that was uncertain... It saddened you to know that they were made by accident... Two precious and loving children were conceived with the soul purpose of pleasure.

You debated for weeks whether or not you should do it. Rolling out the con's and sticking with the pro's: a stable job with a nice boss that paid way over minimum wage, a big apparent, and a job that works from home most of the time. You've asked many for their opinions and while most encouraged you and applauded you, there were some that disapproved, your sister to be exact. You and her have always been close, her only being two years older. She was wise and you always trusted her guidance. You understood why she disapproved and couldn't really blame her. You were just getting your life together, this would just crumble everything down. You were sad that you couldn't get her approval, but you didn't really need her permission. It was mainly your parents who you really needed to consult with. Of course they were unsure at first but they trusted you and made sure you knew the responsibilities before encouraging you. You knew what you were doing. Those children needed a mother, they needed someone. And so, the very next day you found yourself leaving the orphanage in front of your work place, with two children at hand. They were happy, despite what they've gone through. Though you highly doubted that they even know what's happening.

That day was filled with so much laughter and fond memories. In just one day, you showed them more love than their previous mother ever did. They even refused to sleep in their own room, scared that when they wake up they'll be back at the hands of their unfit mother.

Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a lound knock on the front door. You stood up from your previous spot, on the couch, and slowly made your way to the door. Slowly opening it to reveal a handsome young man, that looked to be in his early twenties. He was wearing a grey suit that look very expensive, with brown swept back hair, and newly polished shoes. He was undoubtedly the hottest person you've ever seen...

"May i help you?" You asked, hesitancy clearly evident in your voice. "Yes, are you Ms. Lee by any chance?" He smiled, proudly displaying his dimples. His chocolate drown eyes sparkling in what looked to be delight, as his deep husky voice erupted from his lips. "That's me." You nodded. "I don't know how to tell you this, but im the father of your child." Your jaw dropped a little as your eyes blink rapidly, heart pounding in disbelief as you looked at the man again. He looked calm, pleased almost. "What are you- Jaeun, g-go look after y-your sister please..." You ordered, eyes not leaving the man. To which the little boy nodded to before turning off the tv and scurrying off. Clearly understanding that a talk between you and the man needed to be held without his presence. "Sister?" The man infront of you mumbled to himself. "I-i think you need to come in." Unnervingly, you said. To which he replied, "very well..."

"I didn't get your name?" He asked as he sipped on the wine he opted for instead of water. "Y/n, you?" The atmosphere was quieter than space; and ten times more awkwarder than your interactions with your neighbors who mate like wild rabbits. How do you follow up 'im the father of your child' by 'how was your day?' No.

"Jaehyun." He placed the wine glass down before clrossing his legs, a smirk playing on his lips. "S-so jaehyun why are you here exactly?" Jaehyun hm? Well now you can see where the mother got her inspiration from. She was probably moaning the name the entire night...

You saw the resemblance between him and the children, like the dimples and eyes, also the cheeks. They looked more like him than the mom, he was definitely the father. "Look I'll be very honest here. I wanna take back my child. I was unaware that they existed and i wanna raise him as my own now. So how much will it take." Was he thinking that he could just pay you off like that? Fuck no. Who does he think he is. To walk in here thinking he can buy the children off you. They are your children now not his. If he wants them he's gonna have to kill you off first. You were enraged as a matter of fact.

"Excuse me!? Do you just think you can pay me off like that? They're my children now, not yours. You may be the father but they're under my custody now." It was evident in your voice that you were angry but your stature remained calm. So did his, he just sat there and sipped on his wine, angering you even more. Did he think this was some game? "Look y/n, how much do you want, im prepared to pay any amount." He probed once more. "I don't want your money." Did he think he was doing you some good? You had money too, financials are the last thing you should be worrying about...

"Very well then, i didn't wanna have to do this but, Ms. Lee y/n, im suing you." He couldn't sue you, he had nothing against you. He just hoped that you would buy his bullshit and give him what he wanted.

"Suing me? You have nothing on me. What are you gonna sue me for? I signed the legal papers that clearly stated they are my children now! It was never stated that there were two legal guardians that i needed signatures from. Technically, you can't sue me!"

Damn you were smart...

"Im still suing you."

"For what!"

"Emotional distress!"

"Emotional distress?! Unbelievable! Get out!" You scoffed. Anger flowing through your vains.

"Mommy what's with all the screaming?"

In the midst of glaring at jaehyun a high pitched voice spoke, breaking your strong gaze. Your eyes soften as you turn to the hallway and see both your kids innocently watching.

"Nothing baby, nothing. This man was just leaving, go back to your room." You softly uttered.

"There's two of them?..." Asked jaehyun as he takes in the child's features.

"Yes, they're twins." The tone you used was unreadable, a mix of defeat and agony.

"Can I just talk to them, please. Then I'll leave." He begged, a glimpse of desperation in his eyes. You couldn't say no, you just couldn't...

"Alright, but don't tell them you're their father. Their not ready yet..." Jaehyun nodded and you called the kids to sit with you. They were hesitant at first but eventually did.

"Hi." Jaeun was the first to speak up.

"Hello." Jaehyun laughed at the boys cuteness.

"I'm jaeun, who are you?" He asked, pointing at the males direction.

"I'm jaehyun, nice to meet you." Jaehyun spoke to the child with care and gentleness. You saw how eagerly he wanted to get to know them. Extremely vulnerable to rejection.

"Nice to meet you hyung, that's my sister jaehye, but she's really shy..." jaehyun diverts his attention to the little girl curled up in your arms and waves. Jaehye smiles and waves back at him before quickly hiding in your chest.

"Look, I'm not giving you full custody of my kids, but you are always welcome to come and see them." You said sternly, arms wrapping around the frail figure in your arms.

Jaehyun nodded and smiled. That day he left with an unshakable feeling of excitement and a new formed attraction towards you.

He knew then and there that he wanted to be the father of your children. And if you will have him, the husband of your dreams.

Part 2?

Let me know what you guys thought of it.

[m-recovers]

Hi! I often see you get questions and respond to them in such a kind, encouraging way and I could really use some encouragement right now. I have struggled with an ed since I was 15 (21 now) and only just decided on recovery. But I feel like I don't deserve it, like I've been faking it. I've never been hospitalized. I've been underweight for years (until now, a few months into recovery) but I never looked sickly. I just feel like I am one big fake. Any advice on this?

hi friend!!!! i am more than happy to provide encouragement in any way i can. i’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling for so long. its hard. i know it is. you’re such a fighter. you’ve made it for so long. and the fact that you’re starting recovery now? amazing. truly amazing. i’m so happy for you my love!!!! there is nothing that makes me happier than hearing that!!!! you are making the right choice. the best choice you will ever make. the most important decision you will ever take. and you’ve done it so well. i’m so proud of you. congratulations. i love you!!!! 

the textbook definition of recover is “return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength”. you’ve been fighting an eating disorder for six years. six. years. that means you are not in a normal state of health, mind, OR strength. so you therefore need to recover. to gain back your strength. your health. your mind. of course you deserve recovery. of course you do. please never doubt for a second that you do. you’ve been struggling for so long, of course you deserve to recover. you’ve been through too much. recovery is made for everyone. absolutely everyone. if you even think you need recovering from something, you deserve recovery. you wouldn’t deny someone who’s twisted their ankle time to recover just becase they didn’t break their ankle now, would you? so you mustnt deny yourself recovery from this terrible illness just because you haven’t been hospitalized, or “looked il”. now, i put that in between quotations because “looking ill” is incredibly subjective, and the chances are, you will never think you looked ill. i was dying, day after day i was getting closer to death, and i still never thought i looked ill. thats what the eating disorder does. it warms your perception. and it doesn’t matter if you’ve never been hospitalized- the majority of sufferers haven’t. only a small portion have been hospitalized, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t been severely ill. i know people that were hospitalized with me that were in far better condition than i was mentally, yet they were admitted before or at the same time as me, and i know people that were very very ill that were never hospitalized at all. hospitalization is a complicated process. and its not for everyone. a million factors come into play. it is not the tell all in this illness. your weight isn’t an indicative of your level of sickness. eating disorders are a mental illness. mental. you don’t need to be severely underweight to be suffering, and to be worthy of recovery. because you are. you deserve to recover just as much as i do. do it. take the leap. i know you can do this. you won’t be sorry, i promise you. you’re not fake. the fact that you think you're “faking” is already an indicative of something being wrong. healthy people don’t want to be sick. you must recover. i’m rooting for you my love, here anytime you need me. all my love xxx