#//ngl I'm kinda excited for this trip

[karikitdemonrp]

Heads up all who want to know!

Just so you all know, I'm heading on vacation to a place with fairly poor internet connection so any replies will be slower than usual. I'll still be replying just a lot slower cuz of it.... yea. Anyway, I'll be around while I'm at the hotel or just having off time if I can. Might post pictures or something, probably not. I'll be back home on the 22nd-23rd or something, saying that due to time zone shenanigans. Have a good day!

[astrxealis]

my dad just played a bit of Nothing Else Matters just now on guitar he's so cool

[t-lostinworlds]

Competitively Stupid | Steve Harrington

》 PAIRING: steve harrington x female!reader

》 TROPE/GENRE: rivals-ish (since childhood) to lovers, some angst; fluff

》 SUMMARY: It was stupid, jumping off a cliff just to prove that you were better than Steve fucking Harrington. But you were competitive. You were not losing to him. But you know what was stupider? For it to take a near-death situation for you both to confess what you truly feel for each other.

》 WARNINGS: canon divergent (everyone is alive & well & happy thanks), pet names (sweetheart, baby), shitty parents (on both sides), competitiveness on all accounts, r is basically a counterpart of steve during high school (cheerleading captain, queen of hawkins high, swim team captain, etc.), peer pressure-ish, some stupid decisions & stupider actions, very irresponsible cliff jumping (which doesn't end well), drowning, CPR, injuries, an emotional moment™, love confessions, and a happy, sappy ending.

》 WORD COUNT: 5.3k+

A/N: hi! okay, well, it's been a while since i posted a steve fic so i'm kinda nervous ngl. also, not me making it a habit to include swimmer!steve in all my fics from here on out. this was meant to be short & sweet to dust off the cobwebs but lol. super random. i saw a video of someone cliff-jumping & boom, the idea was born. also, not me using the first aid training i learned in college.

📍 BLOG NAVIGATION ✩ STEVE H. MASTERLIST ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩

⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *｡･ﾟ.★. *｡･ﾟ✫*.

This was stupid.

Absolutely idiotic.

You genuinely have no idea why you were even doing this in the first place.

"There's no way you can do it."

Right.

That's why.

The taunting voice of Steve fucking Harrington was the reason why you were standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down at a thirty-foot drop into the dark ocean.

This was supposed to be a relaxing trip with your new found family.

"You know you don't have to listen to him, right?" Robin sighed, so completely over the fact that her two best friends who never got along no matter what she tried, somehow came to an agreement to not listen to her right now.

Not that you could blame her.

You and Steve had been rivals ever since you were kids.

It was what you had always known.

What with narcissistic parents who used their children as pawns to one up each other, you had been conditioned to see him as an enemy from the second you step foot into their home.

Your family was invited into the Harrington residence for dinner as a way of welcoming you to the neighborhood. You recently just moved in, so you didn't know anyone else yet. When you heard that the next-door neighbor had a son who was your age, you had been really excited to gain a new friend.

All that changed when your dad sat you down an hour before, prepping you about how the Harringtons were a respected family in the town, and that you needed to show them you weren't any less than them, if not show them you were better. He drilled it in your brain to be on your best behavior, to be the best and the perfect daughter.

It only got worse when you finally sat down at that dinner table.

The comparisons were endless.

"See, my daughter here is a wonderful gymnast, quite amazing for someone her age."

"How wonderful. Steven here has swimming lessons every weekend. His coach said he might end up in the Olympic team once he's of age."

"Splendid. How about his academics? I'm sure he can take inspiration from my daughter's exemplary grades."

"He's the top of his class. Maybe if they study together, your daughter would be able to catch up in time."

It was harsh, pitting two seven-year-olds against each other—impressionable kids who only wanted to make their mom and dad proud.

But neither your parents nor his truly gave a shit. All they cared about was becoming the best family in the street, if not the whole town.

The sad thing was, those dinners became a regular thing, held alternately between your house and his.

It always looked like a preparation for battle whenever your mom would pull out the finest china in her collection along with the cookbook she only ever used for special occasions.

It was in the guise of cordiality when it was, in fact, an excuse to show off, to make a competition out of everything, a moment to compare who did what best. Those dinners were like monthly scoreboards, tallying up the respective families' recent achievements—and that included yours and Steve's.

Nobody was surprised that the competitiveness stuck with you both.

And it only got worse during high school.

Whether that was something as mundane as winning the popularity contest when running different circles—even going as far as getting crowned the King and Queen of Hawkins High—down to academics and extracurriculars.

Captain of the basketball team. Captain of the cheerleading squad. Prom Queen. Prom King. MVP of the season. Brightest student of the year. Beer pong Queen. Kegstand King. Best summer camp counselor. Lifeguard of the month and it went on and on and on and on.

When he got co-captain for the men's swim team, you rubbed it in his face that you were the captain of the women's team. When you got second place at the science fair, he made sure to rub his first place medal right in your face. When you became president of the student council, you ordered him around to do extra work whenever the basketball team was required to help with community service.

It was a constant back and forth.

There was always a competition between you and Steve Harrington.

And sure, since you graduated, it became subdued. But it was still very much there. Vying on who was the coolest babysitter in your band of ragtags, even fighting to have the title of Robin Buckley's ultimate best friend.

This thing between you and Steve was deeply rooted. So there really wasn't much Robin could do apart from getting in between your frequent squabbles before you started actually killing each other.

In Robin's words, something drastic had to happen for you both to finally wake up and see that this rivalry between you both wasn't what it seemed to be on the surface.

You had no idea what she was even implying.

Now, on a little getaway on the nearest beach you could drive to, the competition started with a race on who could get there first. It wasn't even fair seeing that you weren't the one driving.

The group had split into two, some were in Eddie's van—along with everyone's belongings since he had ample space in the back—while the others were in Steve's Beemer. Since you and Steve couldn't be in the same room together without an argument ensuing, it was a unanimous decision to have you two separated. Nobody wanted to deal with that for hours on the road.

Not that you could blame them, either.

And sure, it was the kids who suggested the race, but with Steve's smug smirk and that arrogant wink he threw once you got into Eddie's passenger seat, you knew it was game on between you too.

Yet despite the metal head being a fast—albeit slightly reckless—driver, he somehow took his sweet goddamn time getting to your destination.

Only when your group arrived at the beach last, did he say something about Steve threatening him to be extra careful with driving because there's important cargo in his van—whatever the hell that meant.

You lost to Steve on that one, but you would argue it was rigged from the start.

The next was a supposed friendly bout on who could build the biggest sandcastle that didn't topple over after a few minutes.

It was boys versus girls with you and him being team leaders. The girls won, obviously and El never used her powers. It was fair and square since the other team mostly argued over everything they could think of and had no teamwork at all. You made sure to point that out to Steve as you watched their sandcastle crumble into ruins.

Another one was beach volleyball. Same leaders as before, but you get to pick the members of your teams this time. Steve made it his mission to pick the tallest of the bunch. Still, it wasn't the advantage he thought it was because it ended up being one point too close.

Your team would've won if Steve wasn't such a dramatic asshole.

It was truly an accident. When you spiked that ball, you were not aiming for his face. He simply thought it was a good idea to catch the ball with it. Besides, he was distracted, flirting with some random girl in a bikini who was passing by, right in the middle of the game.

How was it your fault that he wasn't paying attention?

He made sure to oversell his injury after that, curled up on the sand as the girl fussed over him. But you saw that smirk on his face. You would've hit him again—definitely not by accident this time—if you weren't busy arguing with Robin about the point deduction. She said it was only fair since you hit the ball when she hadn't blown her imaginary whistle yet.

You decided to let it go when Steve commented on you being a whiny sore loser.

Unfortunately, the competition was ending with who could make jumping off a cliff and into the ocean look the coolest—adults only, despite the groans of protest from the mischievous bunch.

Eddie offered to stay behind and watch the rascals. When teased, he simply said he didn't want to test Death today.

His comment didn't help your nerves.

Robin said she was only coming purely as a voice of reason. She'd been saying nonstop how it was a horribly stupid idea, that there really was no need to be doing this in the first place.

But Steve wasn't backing down, so you weren't going to either.

So once again, it was only you and him.

As it always had been.

He volunteered to go first, throwing in a comment about rushing back up the cliff's edge before you could take your turn because he wanted a front-row seat for when you'd chicken out.

It only made you want to do it more.

His dive was smooth, almost flawless, you admit. He even showed off with a little flip near the end. It didn't take long for him to swim back to the shore, either. His years of training as a swimmer were obviously paying off.

But you trained just as much if not more than he had.

The only difference was, adrenaline didn't fuel you as much as it did Steve. So instead of getting all powered up looking down at a cliff's edge like he was, you were terrified.

But who wouldn’t get scared looking down at harsh waves crashing against sharp and jagged rocks? There was no margin for error here because one wrong slip and you'd be dead.

Still, if Steve could do it, you could do it better.

You weren't about to lose to his stupid ass.

"I'm not listening to him," you argued back, taking in a shaky breath as you took a step.

"He's doing reverse psychology!" she squeaked. "So you doing it is still listening to him!"

"I'm fine, Robs, I can do it," you mumbled, a slight questioning lilt at the end of your sentence.

"Look, sweetheart, it's okay to admit defeat," Steve said, cocky voice with an even cockier smile as he crossed his toned arms against his bare chest. His hair was still damp, quick to climb back up so he could get his front-row seat as he promised.

But you weren't chickening out.

Never.

"I mean, it wouldn't be the first time you lost to me so, it shouldn't sting as much."

You ignored him.

Instead, you took another step, the tips of your toes now hanging over the edge.

You can do this. Wipe that smug smirk off his face. You got this.

"Listen, you don't have to do—"

"Shut it, Harrington," you growled.

With a deep breath, you closed your eyes, counting from three, two, one…

You jumped.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

This was stupid.

Absolutely idiotic.

He shouldn't have pressured you like that.

The jump wasn't deadly, per se, but it also wasn't exactly deemed the safest, especially if you weren't an expert in any sort of way.

And he didn't want to say it out loud because if he did, he knew it would only push you to do it more just to prove him wrong.

But Steve could see how scared you were.

He was already dropping the act, voice laced with concern as he started telling you that he wasn't worth all of this, that he was stupid and that you were always going to be better than him.

But, obviously, you didn't listen.

You simply jumped.

You and your stupidly competitive ass.

"Damn it," he cursed under his breath, rushing to the edge of the cliff, tensely watching your falling figure disappear into the water with a splash.

"You two are complete idiots."

"Shut up," Steve gritted, never looking away from the water. Yet any annoyance was quickly overpowered by sheer worry as he scanned the deep blue for anything.

There was no sign of you.

"Like seriously! It's like I'm the only one with a brain cell here!"

"Come on, come on, come on," Steve mumbled, completely ignoring Robin when you still hadn't emerged to the surface. "Come on, Y/N, don't scare me like this."

"Uh, Steve?" Robin asked after a moment, carefully looking over the cliff before shooting him a worried glance. "You look anxious and you being anxious is making me nervous."

"She hasn't come up," he grumbled, glancing at his watch.

It was nearing a minute.

"Maybe you didn't see her?"

"I haven't taken my eyes off the water, Buckley," he gritted, too harsh and uncalled for since Robin didn't do anything wrong.

But he was panicking.

A minute and thirty seconds.

"Come on, sweetheart, you can do it. You're an amazing swimmer," he whispered encouragingly, hoping some sort of magic would let you hear him underwater all while saying it aloud for his own sanity.

Two minutes.

You could never hold your breath any longer than that.

Steve knew because he always won that competition.

And that was in a calm pool.

"Shit, shit, shit!" he cursed, gearing up to dive after you. "I don't think she's coming up!"

"Okay! Okay," Robin rushed, panicking. "Maybe she's already on the shore. We should go down now and see—"

Steve didn't listen.

He jumped right after you.

The biting cold was awakening.

Still, it was the absolute fear of losing you that was keeping him alert.

He ignored the sting of the salty ocean water in his eyes as he frantically searched for you, his heart beating hard and fast, struggling for oxygen all while fearing for your safety.

Steve didn't know which came first, relief or dread when finally found you, aimlessly floating and unconscious under the deep blue.

He swam to you as fast he could, securely hooking his arm under your shoulder and dragging you up to the surface.

Steve always knew that adrenaline can give you a random boost of strength when needed. He simply didn't expect that to be proven true when he was carrying your unresponsive body in his arms as he brought you to the shore.

He gently placed you on your back on the sand, cupping your face as he checked for any injuries.

You were so cold.

"Hey, hey, wake up," he begged, grabbing your shoulders to try and shake you awake.

Nothing.

"You didn't have to make the jump, you idiot. Why do you always want to prove me wrong," he scolded with no ounce of anger, only worry. He started tapping your cheek frantically. "Come on, wake up!"

Still no response.

"Dammit, Y/N, why'd you have to be so fucking stubborn," he scolded, his voice shaking in fear, his chest tightening as he pressed two fingers against your pulse point.

His own heart stopped when he couldn't feel yours.

And you weren't breathing.

Steve tried to keep himself calm. If he panicked now, he wouldn't be able to give you the aid that you direly need.

"Come on, Harrington. You know what to do. You trained for this," he mumbled to himself, getting into the proper position to give you CPR.

He gently cupped your forehead with his left hand, his other two fingers under your chin as he tilted your head up.

"You're going to be okay," he whispered, pinching your nose before slotting his lips against yours.

Breathing into your mouth, one, two, he watched your chest rise as it filled up with air, only for it to settle back down without coming back up again. He quickly kneeled straighter, locking his fingers together and placing the heel of his left hand in the middle of your chest, pushing down with enough pressure to try and get your heart to start again.

"One, two, three, four, come on, sweetheart, breathe for me," he mumbled, easily finding the right rhythm, his first aid training as a lifeguard coming back to him like it was second nature.

Still, he never wanted to use this skill in a real-life situation, much less use it on you.

It was the longest thirty counts in his life.

Check for a pulse. Check for breathing.

Still nothing.

"Goddammit, Y/N, come on!" he growled, blinking back the tears as he pressed his mouth against yours again.

Two rescue breaths.

Thirty chest compressions.

Steve repeated the cycle over and over. His eyes were stinging with unshed tears, his knees were burning as the rough sand dug deeper into his skin, and his arms were starting to get sore, tiredness slowly covering his aching muscles.

But he'd rather die first than give up on you now.

"Steve—"

"Call for help, Robin!" he ordered, not taking his eyes off you for even a second. When he didn't hear any movement, he yelled, "Don't just stand there! Go!"

He was going to apologize for being an asshole later. For now, he needed you to fucking breathe.

"Come on, come on, please," he begged, leaning back down to give you two more rescue breaths. "Breathe for me, baby, please."

Thirty chest compressions.

"Trying to prove me wrong when I've always been wrong, you idiot."

Five, six, seven—

"Sweetheart, come on," he choked back a sob. "Who's going to call me out when I'm being stupid, huh? You know Robin can't do it alone."

Twelve, thirteen, fourteen—

"And you're really going to leave me alone to watch our kids?"

Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two—

"Y/N, baby, please, I can't live without you," he whimpered.

Twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thir—

Steve felt his breath leave his lungs when you finally gasped for air.

He quickly turned you to your side, rubbing your back as you choked out all the ocean water that got into your system.

"There you go, you're okay," he whispered, whether to reassure you or himself, he didn't even know anymore. All he was focused on was making sure you were going to be okay.

"S-Stevie?" you coughed out the nickname that was only ever used by you.

It was the equivalent to his nickname for you—sweetheart.

Names that started out to annoy each other but the more often it was used as time passed, it only managed to grow into an endearment that held something warm underneath it. You both were quick to realize that the nicknames you had for each other weren't out of spite anymore.

Neither of you simply addressed it.

"Steady, sweetheart, I'm right here," he reassured, hurriedly getting into your line of sight to stop you from trying to turn around to face him. He gently cupped your cheek, offering you a soft smile when your gaze found him. "I'm not going anywhere."

You nodded as best as you could, your eyes clinging onto his brown ones only for them to screw shut when a shiver ran through your whole body.

"C-Cold," you stammered.

"I know, I know, come here," he said softly, guiding you to sit up before quickly settling behind you. He gently pulled you closer between his legs, his chest pressed against your back as he blanketed his body over yours, rubbing your arms to keep you as warm as possible.

You turned to face him slightly, burying your face into his neck only for you to wince at the slight movement. He quickly tried to steady you again, checking over you twice to look for any visible injury. But he couldn't find any.

"Tell me what hurts," he asked, pressing his lips against your cold forehead as he fully wrapped his arms around you.

"A-Ankle," you whimpered in pain, your grip on his waist tightening and God he hated that sound so much.

You must've rolled it when you jumped, and having landed on it when you reached the water, it definitely made it worse.

"It's okay, you're okay," he murmured, littering kisses against the side of your head to try and keep your mind off it. "Robin already called for help, they should be on their way, alright?"

You gave him a small nod, inching even closer to him, seeking as much warmth from him as possible. Your cold breath was tickling his skin but he didn’t care. Hell, you could be breathing fucking ice and he still wouldn’t give a shit.

As long as you were breathing.

"I need you to stay awake for me, okay?"

"I-I'll try," you whispered.

"First to fall asleep is the biggest loser," he mumbled, squeezing you slightly when he felt your eyes flutter close. "And you wouldn't want me to win this, babe, because I'll be a little shit about it."

"Not f-fair," you choked out a laugh.

"It's plenty fair," Steve chuckled tearfully, ignoring the sudden wetness on his cheeks. He hugged you tighter instead. "So stay awake or you'll lose to me. Again."

"Right there! They're right over there!"

Steve had never been so grateful to hear Robin's voice.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"So are you finally going to tell her?"

"Tell her what?" Steve questioned back, unable to take his eyes off of you, soundly sleeping in a hospital bed with your foot now wrapped in a cast.

The doctor had already checked everything and thankfully, there weren't any further injuries apart from your twisted ankle.

Now, all you needed was to rest and recover.

"That you've been in love with her this whole time."

Steve sighed, squeezing your hand before turning to look at his best friend.

"I'm not in love with her, Robs."

"Right," she scoffed, raising a knowing brow. "Because jumping off a cliff with zero hesitation so you could save her is totally normal behavior for someone you claim you hate."

"I never said I hated her," he argued, and it was true. He couldn't think of a single moment where he hated you.

"Yeah, well, you two definitely don't act like you like each other."

"Does she annoy and frustrate the shit out of me? Yes. But I never hated her," he admitted.

Steve didn't know what it was exactly, maybe it was his tiredness muddling his brain, maybe it was from everything that happened in the last couple of hours finally catching up to him, or maybe it was the overwhelming need to confess everything into the open before it was too late—and it almost had been. Either way, he found himself suddenly spewing out all the things that he always just kept to himself.

"She's also been the most constant person in my life, you know? Hell, we basically grew up together. I can't just not care about her," he continued, memories flooding his system before he could even stop it. "She's been so ingrained in my life, her and the cute dresses she wore at those stupid dinners our parents always dragged us to. Her and her stupid competitions whenever our babysitters would bring us to the park together. Her and that stupid dance she always did whenever she won at anything even if it was my expense—she always does this cute little wiggle whenever she won, and that never left her even as we got older," Steve chuckled at the thought.

"And fuck, don't even get me started with how similar our parents are. She's the only one who will always get me when it comes to that," he continued. "And yeah, we compete a lot, but there was no hatred between us. Maybe at the start but all that went away when we learned that whatever our parents were feeding us was bullshit—that they were bullshit.

"And fine, did I sometimes get so annoyed whenever she got a new boyfriend? Yeah. But only because she always had this bad habit of dating fucking assholes. I don't know where she got those dickheads from but every time I see a glimpse of her crying by her window at night I swear to fucking God I would've killed every single one of those assholes if she asked," he gritted, slumping down in his seat with a sigh.

"She deserves to be treated right, you know? She's already experiencing so much shit at home, she doesn't need any more of that anywhere else. Sure, she irritates me to no end but that doesn't mean she's not a sweet girl who always cried whenever some random pet commercial came on the TV during the holidays. Does her competitiveness drive me up the wall? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean I don't feel so fucking proud of her whenever she wins another medal or achieves another milestone. And yeah, I wonder about how she's doing, if she's taking care of herself, if she's getting enough sleep between her work and classes. But that's only because I worry, you know?

"And maybe I do think about her a lot but that doesn't mean I'm in love with…"

Steve blinked.

Well fuck.

"Wow," Robin marveled. "You're stupider than I thought."

"He hit his head as a kid, cut him some slack."

Steve paled at the sound of your voice, swiftly turning red at the thought that you probably heard all the things he said.

He turned to face you, groaning in annoyance when he saw the smug smile on your lips. "You've been awake this whole time?"

"I'll leave you two love birds alone," Robin sang, quickly slipping out of the hospital room and closing the door behind her.

"How much of that did you hear?" Steve asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Enough to say you're stupid," you hummed.

He rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat with crossed arms. "I'm not the one who jumped off the cliff and almost died just to prove a fucking point."

"Yeah, well, I guess we're both stupid then," you snorted.

He shrugged. "I guess we are."

"Jesus, you don't have to act so tense. I mean, you've already given me a mouth-to-mouth, we've practically made out already," you scoffed playfully. "I honestly thought I'd die first before swapping spit with you yet here we are."

It was your attempt at alleviating the tension, to throw in a funny quip. But with everything still so fresh in his mind, Steve simply couldn't take it well.

"Don't fucking joke about that will you?" he snapped, rubbing a frustrated hand over his face.

The silence that followed only made the tension worse.

"I'm sorry," you whispered.

Steve immediately felt bad.

"No, no, no. You didn't do anything wrong, don't apologize," he sighed, meeting your eyes with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped. It's just—"

He stopped himself, chewing on his bottom as he looked everywhere but at you when he felt the tears well up again.

"Will you come here?"

Steve took a calming breath and did as you asked, moving his chair closer but didn't attempt anything else than that.

"Stevie," you called when he still wouldn't look at you.

Harshly wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, he lifted his head. You smiled at him sweetly, wiggling your fingers to get him to come even closer.

"You scared me back there," he croaked, taking your hand with a squeeze.

"I didn't mean to," you softly said, remorseful and apologetic even though you didn't have to be.

"I know," he murmured, pressing your warm palm against his cheek as he shot you a glare. "Just don't do that again."

"Promise," you giggled, stroking his cheek with your thumb.

Steve leaned closer into your touch. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, thanks to you," you hummed, brows furrowing in thought. "When Marcus got that black eye, you said it was because he was playing dirty on one of your games." You tilted your head knowingly. "That wasn't true, wasn't it?"

Steve shrugged. "He hurt you."

"It was a small bruise on the arm, Steve," you reasoned.

"He shouldn't be giving you a fucking bruise in the first place," he growled, the memory bringing back the same anger he felt when he first saw that bruise. The soft tapping of your finger against his cheek calmed him down. "Sorry."

"Did you lose on purpose to get him expelled?"

"What? No!" he scoffed, offended, rolling his eyes when you giggled. "I tried so fucking hard to win that fight, you know, for you."

"You've always been protective of me," you hummed, taking his hand and interlacing your fingers together.

"Don't think I didn't know it was you who dyed that poor girl's hair green that one year in middle school summer camp," he retaliated.

It was a sharp and piercing scream that woke up the whole camp that morning. Everyone rushed out of bed to see what was going on only to find a girl who once was blonde was now sporting bright green hair in the middle of the crowd, crying her eyes out.

Steve would've thought it was only some silly prank if he didn't know who the girl was. But he did. Because the day before he tried to ask her to be his girlfriend, only for her to turn him down in the most embarrassing and humiliating way possible.

It wasn't difficult for him to find out who the culprit was since he immediately noticed how you kept hiding your hands in your pockets for the next few days after the incident.

The counselors quickly found out that the little menace—whoever she was—decided to use permanent dye on the poor girl's hair instead of something washable.

Your green palms colored you oh so guilty.

"She called you pathetic and gross in front of everyone!" you argued, pouting. "You looked like you were about to cry and I hated it."

Steve's heart warmed at that, a smile on his face despite rolling his eyes. "I wasn't about to cry."

"Yeah well," you shrugged, eyes trained on your intertwined fingers, your thumb playing with his. "I'm the only one who's supposed to be mean to you."

"Hmm," he agreed, bringing the back of your hand to his lips. "I guess we've always been there for each other, huh?"

"I guess so," you giggled, cupping his cheek and tugging him closer.

He stood up from his seat, following your lead until he was pressing his forehead against yours.

"Thank you for saving my life, Steve," you whispered, eyes turning glossy as so many emotions covered your irises, the weight of what almost happened catching up with you.

"You don't have to thank me for that," he said sincerely, brushing the tip of his nose against yours. "I'd do it over and over again in a heartbeat."

You nodded, sniffling, "Still, thank you."

Steve wasn't able to argue some more when you all but kissed him.

The first time Steve felt your mouth on his was a horrible experience considering he was trying to keep you alive.

Now, everything was the complete opposite.

A kiss that was careful but sweet, a hint of nervousness and excitement all the same, completely unhurried yet burning with passion as his lips molded against yours.

But still, it felt like that first gasp of air—a finally.

"I'm in love with you, too, by the way," you murmured as you pulled away, your warm breath tickling his lips.

"Thanks for clarifying," he chuckled, eyes laced with adoration, unable to stop his smile from growing wider, warmer. "I couldn't figure that out from the kiss."

"I mean, you are kinda stupid," you teased.

"We're on that same boat, sweetheart," he chuckled. "I'm sure Robin would remind us about that every single day now."

"Unfortunately," you groaned playfully. "God, she gets annoying when she's right."

"Tell me about it," he hummed, brushing his lips against yours, moving away when you chased it.

You whined.

Steve didn't hesitate to dive back in.

✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ♛ *.

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[angel-of-the-moons]

The Arm of a God (And Other Things)

Khonshu x Fem!Reader

Summary:

You take a week-long hiking trip alone, despite the warnings at the lodge from experienced hikers.

But were you truly alone?

No. Never.

The bears and mountain lions were the least of your concerns. In fact...

They never were to begin with.

TW/CW: NSFW, Smut, PiV sex, unprotected sex, size difference, reader is a size queen, needy(?)Khonshu, creampie, ngl it's a lot like the dude's a god and like 9 feet tall I refuse to believe every part of his anatomy isn't proportionate to the rest of him, like he has a breeding kink?? God of fertility hellooooooo

MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME

Taglist: @drinkingwithkhonshu @gingersforeverbox @manque-damour @nikkivenomized

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"Look, kid, no offense but..." The older man replied to you, his thick, bushy eyebrows pinched with concern for your well-being, "It's dangerous out there if you're alone. And compared to a bear, you're a small snack."

You smile at the old man, briefly taking in his far more rugged appearance. He looked every part of a human grizzly bear; large, imposing, muscular. He could probably take an actual grizzly bear in a bare-knuckle fight and come out even. He was an experienced hiker, a man born for the wilderness.

His concern for you was sweet. Compared to him, you were a tiny porcelain teacup; clean, and fragile. Sure you looked that way, but you trusted yourself and your abilities.

You looked small... but you weren't helpless. And you never had to worry in any of your travels.

"Thank you for your concern, but I'm covered." You chuckle sweetly, tapping the pendant around your neck. It was a small stone, scribbled with some sort of symbols, a crescent moon featured most prominently.

He squinted his green eyes at the necklace. He obviously couldn't understand what they said, but he understood it was some sort of religious object.

"Look kid, god can only do so much if a brown bear raids your camp in the middle o' the night." He says, clicking his teeth.

"Trust me. I got my bear spray, a good taser, a machete..." You begin listing off your protective items, some of which were bullshit. Most of your items in your pack were food and other important supplies.

He seemed impressed once you were done, stroking his thick beard approvingly. "All right, I s'pose. But since you've checked in here, there's a policy you tune into the lodge's frequency so if anything happens, we can come get ya."

To show how serious you took his advice--even if it wasn't needed--you pulled out your radio. It had about a 30 kilometer radius. An expensive purchase, to be sure, but a nice one. You tune it to the frequency he tells you and look at him as you clip it back to your pack securely.

"Anything else?" You chirp.

"Nope... Just... Be careful. The weather can get kinda crazy further up the mountain." He grunts.

You turn, giving a playful salute as you do, dragging deep into your lungs the air of the mountains after a fresh morning rain.

You weren't afraid for what the night brought. Not at all. But you knew that you've never had to be afraid when the moon rose.

Not when you had faith.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

You'd made good progress, only having to stop and rest a few times throughout the day, free-climbing a few boulders here and there, and to check your map. Your destination was an old burnt-down mansion that was destroyed in a bad storm sometime in the 1920s. So, over a hundred years ago.

Nobody really knew about them or bothered to find them because they were so far off the beaten path, but you marked your trail to find your way back. If you even got lost in the first place.

The first time you found out about this place was a small article written by a backpacker who explored forgotten ruins on YouTube. Yeah, they aren't as exciting as climbing a pyramid down in South America, but to you they were. You adored finding them and exploring them, touching pieces of recent history that were forgotten far quicker than ruins from thousands of years ago.

And when you found them, you tossed your pack down and did a happy little dance; they were amazing! The walls were made of river stone, joined by concrete and held up merely by their own sturdy construction. Some of the walls had fallen due to time, but you could easily make out a few old windows and doorways. Every inch of the ruins was covered in moss, shrubbery, and old and young trees embracing what was left.

You'd even climbed an old stairway you found in the back for fun; it may have led to the worker's lodgings, or.... hell maybe just another entrance to the second floor.

But now, the sun was gone, and you'd set up camp in the middle of the ruins, where a small pond had formed thanks to a depression in the ground. Perhaps the remains of a basement or cellar that had caved in due to the fire and passage of time.

Your fire crackled as you let your water purifier do it's job, your clean water dripping into your canteen with a steady "drip, drip, drip".

You finished off your pre-packaged meal--a nice packet of spaghetti and meatballs with some extra protein powder thrown in--and was now letting it settle, laying on your plush sleeping bag as you stared at the night sky, the moon fat as it hung from the stars; your fingers brushing and caressing the small pendant around your neck.

"I am not surprised to find you in a place like this." A heavy voice echoed off the stone walls.

You sat up on your elbows and lifted your gaze, smiling as you spot him--a large, lithe figure perched casually on the ruins, the light of the moon illuminating the eerie bird skull in place of his head.

"You know how much I love doing this." You remind him.

"Yes, I know." His voice said softly, his body moving in a blur. In a moment, he was standing above you.

You crossed your arms behind your head and grinned up at him. "It's been a month... Having fun with your Moon Guy?"

"My Moon Knight." He corrects, moving to sit next to you, laying his staff down on the remnants of the stone floor, little bits of grass and foliage peeking through the crags.

"Yeah, yeah." You snort, turning to roll on your side to grin at him again, resting your head in the palm of your hand.

"So... Read on the internet about some crazy shit going down in Egypt. And... It felt like you were gone. What happened with that?"

"Ammit and her cult. My Moon Knight and Taweret's Avatar stopped her. My Fist killed her Avatar." He said slowly. "And for meddling with the heavens... The Ennead imprisoned me, briefly."

You sat up fully, shocked by this news. "What? H-how... Why did--"

His fingers brush your lips to silence you, the touch feather light but enough to cease your speaking.

"It is settled, now. Don't worry." He says to you gently, his hand moving to cup your cheek, his warm palm heating your skin while his thumb brushes your cheek.

You close your eyes and sigh, frowning at him. "Damn you, old man... Don't worry me like that again, or I'll kill you."

"Of course. I wouldn't dare incur your wrath." He chuckled.

"Damn straight you won't." You sigh; his hand moved down your throat to encircle you, flattening on your upper back to pull you against him so you were astride in his lap.

You slowly slide your hands up his bandaged chest, feeling his heat bleed through your skin and warm you to your core. Your fingers toy with the large crescent moon fixed to his chest, brushing his flowing robes off to the sides.

"You are a force of nature," He hums, his other hand sliding down to completely encapsulate your ass and pull you tighter against him.

"One I have come to appreciate far more after my imprisonment."

You chuckle and watch as the strips of linen as soft as a moth's wing fall away into wisps of mist, leaving his almost searing hot skin bare to your touch.

His skin was a lifeless monochrome, ashen color, but it wasn't lacking in life at all, far from it. You could feel his godly heart thump in his chest, feel his muscles twitch as you touched him.

And already, you could feel the hard length of him pressing against you, swelling and twitching as it came to life as well.

It felt like his arousal flooded into you, spreading through your core and riling you up. You could already feel yourself soaking through your underwear, a dark stain soaking through your pants.

Sometimes you wished he could come to you at home; or in a motel room at least, so you can wear something nice for him, some lingerie or...

His fingers brushed your lips once again and he tapped them twice, signaling for you to open.

You obey silently, letting the soft pads of his index and middle finger part your jaws, caressing the muscle of your tongue, your eyes locking with his own eyeless gaze.

A rumble comes from him, and he groans as you roll your hips against his erection, the want and heat almost burning you inside and out.

One of your hands shoves down to undo your belt and unbutton your pants, and Khonshu withdraws his fingers from your mouth and almost dizzingly fast, his hand was shoved into your underwear, toying with your swollen clit.

You moan softly, your own small hands gripping at the gold collar on him for stability as one of his large fingers dips into your tight hole.

He grinds his palm into your clit as his finger curled and pressed against that overly sensitive spot on the walls of your cunt.

"Tight..." Khonshu growled, his other hand rolling your hips in time with his other hand. "You need to relax for me, love."

"T-Trying..." You pant, feeling the cool texture of his smooth dry beak caress against the blazing heat of your cheek.

"Hmmmh." He sighed and retracted his hands from you. "Get undressed. I need you to lie back."

You scramble off of his lap, watching his throbbing length bob eagerly as you peel your clothes off of you, lying back on your sleeping bag, spreading your legs for him to see every inch of you that was ready and waiting for him.

He had been gone for a month, and you knew on some nights, even when he wasn't there with you physically, you knew he would watch as you'd touch yourself to thoughts of him. No mortal man could ever compare to the love and carnal touch of a god, and he always felt a pang of guilt when he had to leave you for whatever duties he had.

But your reunions always ended this way, heat, lust and sheer want for companionship. You had started praying to him when you felt other religions didn't do it for you, finding that you being the wanderer that you were, would find more solace in prayer to a god who protected those like you.

And you certainly didn't expect to catch his eye, let alone capture his heart the way that you had.

His hand rests on your knee, thumb caressing the bones beneath the skin as he leans over you. He couldn't kiss you, but you always made sure that was never a problem, even now, as you tipped your head to place a soft kiss to the smooth side of his beak.

"Fuck--" You groaned, dropping your head back onto your travel pillow when his other hand rediscovered its place against your weeping sex, his thumb rolling small circles over your engorged clit while his other two fingers glide over your entrance; the muscles fluttering in anticipation of what was to come.

You squirm with impatience as each swipe of his fingers only serves to ignite a hotter flame burning low in your loins.

"Khonshu." You breathed.

When you said his name like that, it was always sweeter than any offering or prayer he has received. More uplifting than knowing his works uproots evil to protect the innocent, more delicious than watching Ammit and Harrow die at the end of Jake's gun.

"Just a bit more." He tightly reprimands, his other hand squeezing your knee to remind you to relax.

"You're such a damn tease." You whine, wiping one of your hands down your face, biting your lip and gripping your hair as his fingers inch slowly into your tight, hot hole.

Another deep, rumbling groan comes from him as he feels your body grip him like he was your reason for breathing; dragging, squeezing, pleading for him to just take you already....

But he wouldn't--couldn't--until your body had adjusted enough for this to be pleasurable for you as much as him. He was larger than a human man, and he knew your body was fragile compared to his.

Of course, he always felt smug and prideful when he acknowledged the fact he probably ruined you for any mortal man you may decide to bed one day. Because, honestly, now.

What mortal man can compare to a god in both love and in the bedroom?

You arched your hips up off the ground with a moan, whimpering out his name when his fingers curled upwards. But by bit he could feel your muscles ease up around him, your sweet body becoming slick and welcoming.

Sometimes he would get so mesmerized in how your body reacted just to his fingers that he neglected his cock entirely in focus on you.

He could feel your gummy walls press down on his fingers, fluttering around him as he pumped and curled them inside of you, fingering you open so you could take him fully.

He said your name so softly that it crackled like dry leaves on the wind, and you had to lazily drag your eyes open to look at him, the moon and stars shining above and behind him.

He was beautiful, in his own macabre sort of way...

Oh, if the Ennead knew he was fucking you, you both would probably be in heaps of trouble. But you always figured "bring it on" because you had some choice words for those bastards if you ever had the chance to meet them.

But those were thoughts for later, right now you were focused on your impending orgasm as his fingers scissored inside of you, pushing you closer and closer to that peak so when he pushed inside of you with his cock you wouldn't hurt (or bleed, as that has happened before when the two of you got overzealous).

And of course, right as you were about to cum, your whole body electrified to the point you actually thought you saw sparks in your peripheral vision... Khonshu pulled his fingers free of your wanting body.

You practically sobbed in frustration as your climax was taken from you so abruptly. It was a favorite thing of his to do to you; edging you like he does. But you knew it was for more selfish reasons than anything else.

He leaned over you, bracing his body on his forearms as he gently brushed your head with his beak--his closest approximation of a kiss--and you felt something warm and wet drip onto your belly.

Sparing a glance down, you pant softly as you watch the faintly glowing fluid drip from the tip of his cock; the very tip of it flushed the tiniest shade of pink on his otherwise colorless body. Maybe once upon a time his skin was a different color, but in his exile, it has become so dull.

"Are you ready." He grits out. More a statement than a question, really, as he knew your answer beforehand. But it was important to him that you never had any reservations.

He would not take without first receiving consent from you, without giving.

He was not Set, after all.

"Please." You breathe, reaching out to touch his cock, fingers brushing along the silky soft skin, smearing the precum over the tip with your thumb; earning a delicious groan from him.

He grunts softly, nodding as he lets you guide his weeping cock through your slick folds and to your hole.

It was always breath-stealing, the moment he pushed into you, his thick girth spearing you open and filling you so full you swore he was buried in your guts.

You kept your hand low, feeling him as he slowly slid further inside of you, a hiss coming from him. You were relaxed now, yes... but still so tight because of your comparative sizes that it knocked him off kilter; your heat enveloping him so welcomingly as though he was coming home again.

"K-Khonshu!" You hiccuped, your eyes rolling back into your head as you felt him fill you.

Khonshu's leg moves, pushing your thigh and nudging your legs open for him further; the both of you making low breathy sounds as your body squeezed him instinctively at the action.

"I'm... going to move, now." He snarls, reaching down to caress your thigh as he pulls back, your body desperately clinging to him, begging him to stay inside.

Your nails claw at his arms as you grit your teeth, sweat beading your brow as you feel him slide out inch by torturous inch before rolling his hips back into yours, filling you up almost as quickly as he pulled away.

"Oh--oh--" You whine, barely able to speak or form coherent thoughts as Khonshu starts arching his back and rolling his hips at the right angle to make your brain turn to mush.

The first time he had you, you thought you actually died. He had you ride his fingers until you couldn't move, and then he had you pinned, still thrusting his hand inside of you, coaxing and caressing your muscles to allow him entrance.

You did bleed, of course, because of his size. You'd had human bed partners, yes, but none compared to him in any way. You'd probably never be able to look at a human cock again and get as excited as you did when Khonshu teased you.

Oh, how strange it was... Gods often looked down at mortals because of their fallacies, not unlike their own in some ways... But lifetimes ago, the Old Gods of Egypt kept close relationships with their mortal followers. Of course... None had gone so far as to lay with them like Khonshu had done with you.

You'd tried to tease him, the first time you got intimate, that you were his first.

That's when he proved to you that just because you were his first human, didn't mean you were his first bedroom partner.

The way he made love to you was ethereal, almost entirely unreal. It was so good that sometimes you thought you'd dreamt it.

"Khonshu, I'm..." You moan, lifting your hips off of the ground to meet his thrusts as they picked up speed.

Khonshu watched you, his eyeless gaze boring holes into you as he studied your face, as beautiful as the most detailed works of art in human history as you came undone around him, soaking his skin as your body pushes every wave of your climax out.

His pace faltered, and he collapsed back onto his forearms as your legs locked around him, digging into the taut muscles of his glutes as your orgasm nearly knocked him senseless for a moment.

He gripped your sleeping bag tight in one hand as his pace quickened, desperate to taste his own release that threatened to swell up inside of him.

"Almost." He says, his voice wavering.

"Do it." You moan loudly, dragging your nails down his back desperately.

"Hrr--you--" He moaned back, his other hand moving back to grip your thigh so tightly you'd be feeling the bruises for days onward, even in his absence.

"Please."

"You... are... always... so... greedy." He snaps out with each thrust of his hips, the sinful sound of skin slapping skin and your cries filling the ruins.

"Is--Is it really being greedy if you--you want to--want--" Your voice breaks apart as he angles his hips up, his cock throbbing and twitching inside of you as he pumps you full, the sensation of being so utterly stuffed enough to push you into your second orgasm, forcing out globs of his glowing seed around his cock as he fucks you through both your orgasms, riding our your highs together in a blissful, mind-numbing spiral.

You were vaguely aware when he pulled his cock free of your body, barely grasping at the threads of consciousness as he looked down at you, his thumb pressing into your lower belly as he watched his divine seed drip from you.

He half wondered, if maybe you would get pregnant. Wondered what kind of child you would bear. A demi-god, surely, but what kind? In his pantheon, the children of their parents rarely shared the same aspects. Save for some overlapping connectivities, that is...

He could almost see your belly swell, nice and round... And felt something tug deep within his chest, a drive to see if this little thought bubble could burst--to see if his imagination would be a reality and bear fruit.

But, of course... His mind was dragged to the forefront of reality when your shaky little hand caressed the skull that was his head, your eyes drowsy and satiated as you smiled up at him, your god, your protector.

Your lover.

As he laid next to you, he curled your body with his and watched as the last embers of your fire burned away, leaving you only haloed in the soft, silver rays of his moon.

He couldn't believe he ever found you

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Soooo, um..... guys, real talk, but do you think I should detrans??? I've been thinking about it a lot. Pretty much the only vids my social media recommends are about detrans or forced detrans and it's kinda making me really hot, ngl. Like nothing has made my cock so hard before, even if my poor stunted cock is only three inches fully erect! Mmmmm, it could be so huge if I took T and steroids! I could have a huge, thick cock I can barely wrap my hand around! One I can jerk off like a total gooner loser for hours on end every day....

But I love being a girl! I've been living as a girl since forever. I don't even remember what it's like being seen as a boy! And I love my gorgeous titties daddy bought me, and my thick ass that guys just love to fuck as they squeeze my boobs and rub my tiny cock! Mmmm, it's such a girly dream! But I can't help thinking about these vids, where the mtftm guys talk about just wanting to live out their perverted fantasy of what being a girl is instead of being a girl!

Like most real girls get pissed off or annoyed by catcalls and loads of male attention. I get an erection..... And I usually turn to them, wave, and ask them if they want to have fun..... Most girls get scared if a man is aggressively following them. I get super excited and usually play hard to get.... only to accidentally 'corner myself' or 'trip'. My cock will immediately get so stiff I almost cum if they start ripping off my clothes or pull out a knife. I'll drool in ecstasy if they start fucking my ass. I'll of course fake scream and struggle, but always get so hard I start cumming like crazy as they ravage me...... When they feel that I have a cock, and that it's hard and my panties are full of cum, they immediately turn into total animals, calling me every name imaginable, especially a fake girl or the t-slur. Sometimes they'll even call me a dumb, perverted boy. ❤️

But normal girls aren't that way.... they don't get thrilled by getting their clothes ripped off, their holes violated.... I must just be a perverted fake girl like all these detrans boys! It would explain so much about me. Godddd I'm such a junkie for my own fantasies that I really took hormones and begged daddy for a pair of porn tits. I really am a freak. Gee I wonder what would happen to my petite, perfect feminine body if I didn't tell anyone anything, but started taking testosterone, dick growth pills, and steroids? Like, not say a word to my friends or boss or family, still dress like a girl as my beautiful female body becomes manly. My beard coming in, which of course I'd always struggle to keep up with and apologize, reminding everyone I was born a boy.... My voice would deepen, I'd get an Adam's apple, hair on my boobs. And I'd just tell people I still have my testicles so I guess I'm going through male puberty anyway..... oops. It just happens to 'girls' like me sometimes, you have to understand, don't be too hard on me.... ❤️❤️❤️

And eventually once I'm super muscular, my face looking 100% like a man, my voice all deep, not feminine in the slightest, my cock huge and impossible to hide, I'll start being gross and hitting on all the girls, rubbing my cock through my clothes, telling them how much I'd love to put a dozen or so kids in their bellies. Then I'll be fired, I'll have to live with my mom and dad. They'll laugh at their big burly son with implants and finally take them out, ending the last tiny piece of my delusion that I could ever live as a girl again. Then I'll sit at home, jerk off all day, go out to bars and have my way with all kinds of sexy college girls like I used to pretend to be. I can't wait to be a gross, perverted stud who only cares about two things: stroking my cock, and forcing my cock into as many beautiful girls' holes as possible. Finally live the dream of being a real man, just like I was always meant to be.....! ❤️ Thank God these social media algorithms target dumb fake girls like me and help us see the light!"

[crackedpumpkin]

Got tagged in this by the lovely @urfavarab , but I'm starting a new one since the previous got super full ahahah

Tag 10 or more people you'd like to know better

Relationship Status: Single, but might fyck around and find a fwb at this point ngl. I'm picky though so I'll fill the void by deepening the endless pit of love I have for my stupid silly fics about the stupid silly characters I am in love with. (AKA I'm kinda highkey shallow)

Favourite Color: Black, because it's slimming and I'm a little insecure about my curves lololol. I'm currently trying to incorporate more color into my wardrobe though, but it's mainly expanding with earthy tones like brown and green :>

Song stuck in my head: Blender by 5SOS, because of the funky ass bass. Stupid bass. I'm currently saving up to buy an electric guitar because I wanna learn it and go busking.

So in terms of that, another song that's stuck in my head is 'That Band' from the anime Bocchi the Rock, specifically the riff in the beginning that's in the show. It's so sick I puked internally when I watched it.

Favourite Food: Oooo this is a toughie. I don't think I have anything I like in particular, just depends on the cravings I have that day. But I do go for literally anything spicy. You bring a bowl of chilli wontons and it's on sight /hj (i would kill for dumplings/wontons)

Last song played: Well shit. Here's the thing. I have a tendency to listen to a song on repeat for fucking days, and I'm listening to Finesse by Bruno Mars because of this animation I found on Instagram. It's genuinely so sick and now the song's stuck in my head and will be for the next few days :)

Artist mentioned: rikachewey on Instagram, you guys should go drop them a follow!

Dream Trip: Well it's actually coming up for me in June! I'll be travelling to South Korea for my Graduation Trip with 2 of my closest friends I've known for over 4 years. I'm so excited for it ahahah, I'll be flying off on 11th and coming back on the 22nd :> who knows, maybe my trip will churn the creative juices and I can milk my brain :D

Last thing I googled:

....................... 👀 anyway,

No pressure-tags~

@buthowboutno-spamming @theblindhag @zprites @knightish-knight @turtle-babe83 @s-s-ironnie

[mrs-monaghan]

Jk did not hug him back in their pictures and also i think it speaks volumes that jm didnt post his and jks solo ones. Why he did that and posted tkks instead is so so obvious, why would he hide something thats not true anyway?

The suchwita episode became so awkward when V came and im not gonna lie jk was a little dismissive towards him and paid more attention to suga

What are these deluded people seeing we aren’t? I was like before I form an opinion, go on twitter or tumblr lemme watch the raw footage myself and that was a tough watch ngl. V tried involving himself a couple of times but jk wasnt acknowledging him or quickly changed the convo.

Even when he first came in he wasn’t very excited and he made a comment which I thought was interesting, about getting the views to 20 million now. Which if you think of it kinda shows his acknowledgment to the fact that tkk sells to the deluded.

It was a tough but interesting watch. Jungkooks bits about his album were amazing and hes so talented it’s admirable. That and the news of jikooks travel variety show…🤧🤧🤧

Anymore ideas of where they couldve gone because i have a feeling jeju will be in it too with a possibility of a cameo from V

As always lovely speaking with you shaz💜

I actually didn't see what most people want to see are are saying they saw. I didn't see what u saw, anon. I didn't think it was awkward at all. Taekook were fine. If anything its the Taegis who should be crying because that thing where Suga snubs V is still a thing apparently 😂 I find it funny.

Anyway, V said he didn't plan to be on camera. Now this is V we're talking about, so idk how true this is 🤭 but I wouldn't read too much into how JK treated him. Because this is a huge part of Taekook's dynamic. V annoys JK, JK snaps or pushes him off and they move on. Kinda like Yoonmin and their bickering but its JK telling V off or ignoring him all together. V likes to disturb the maknae, he's always done it. Even when JK has been annoyed by it. V don't care, he's played that hyung card since time immemorial.

But V got lost in the bg and I even forgot he was there so I think people made his presence a bigger deal than it was. In my opinion anyway. Did he need to be there? I'm gonna say no. His presence there seemed a bit pointless compared to Jimin making an appearance during Taemin's. Which ig could mean V really didn't plan on being on camera? But I have my doubts coz well, it's V 🤭

Anyway, imo that episode was fine. I personally didn't have an issue with anything. 🤷🏽‍♀️

As for the Jikook Vlog I didn't think about another member being in it but that would be interesting... though I thought it would all be about their NYC trip and that was just them? 🤔 But you bring up and interesting theory anon. What if this vlog is several episodes? Then who knows how long they've been filming for it

Either way I'm even more excited for it now...

[buckera]

I’m a new fan (yes a post Bi Buck binge watcher, just finished season 5 yesterday ((yes I have a lot of free time)).

And this is definitely opening up old discourse, so feel free to disregard.

But. I struggled so hard to like Taylor. I tried desperately not to do the “toxic slash shipper who hates the girlfriend” thing, but I just could not like her with Buck. I think as a character, she was great! Love a motivated girlboss who pushes buttons, but not so much when she’s being girlboss mean to her boyfriend. (Not that Buck didn’t deserve it once or twice for his late season 5 bs)

But I just don’t know what it was about Buck and Taylor specifically that I didn’t like. I liked Ana and Eddie. I even liked Ali and Buck.

What was the general fandom temperature regarding Taylor and Buck during Season 5?

hoooo okay.

so first of all, welcome to the fandom, hope you can find fun people to hang out with 💛

mind you, I wasn't around during season 5, I was lurking in the trending tags so I kinda knew what was going on with buddie in general lmao but I only actually watched the show in august (took me less than 2 weeks to binge it all the way through, so believe me I know how you feel) but Taylor Kelly is... well.

let me just start by saying that I love Taylor, but she feels like she's been written by two different writers room (which is actually kind of the cast because Tim wasn't around during season 5) and while I love her bossy, career driven characteristics, I felt mad about how dirty she was done.

and not even because Buck kissed some else, but because she straight up said (paraphrasing) "you cheated on me? i don't think you should've told me about it, that's not why i'm mad" and like. what?

for a strong, confident woman in a committed relationship to just say it's okay if you cheat on me, I don't care, just don't tell me? ngl that gutted me a little bit.

aside from that, Taylor and Buck was never going to work, partially because they are too similiar (work oriented, childhood trauma and abandonment issues that neither of them worked through, implied that they both had a bit of a slutty phase, etc) and partially because their moral codes are the thing that differs the most.

which we knew to begin with; Taylor was introduced as someone who would exploit Bobby's acid trip about his dead family to get ahead in her career. that is a good enough reason not to like her and I personally think that Eddie had his reservations about her for that exact reason.

they both live for their jobs, but Taylor is in it for the chase, the excitement, the recognition; Buck is in it because being a hero and helping people is his life. very stark difference.

Buck also jumped the gun with the moving, right after doing something that you don't normally do when you feel like taking the relationship to the next level. so he kinda put a strain on the relationship even though it seemed otherwise at the time.

then of course Taylor lied to him about working on the story, though she only broke it after they caught Jonah, so people saying that she endangered Hen and Chim are weird, unless they're implying that she followed them and didn't call 911? which would be a choice...

but back to fandom's reception of her and how you don't like her with Buck. you don't have to like her at all tbh, not every character or dynamic will be likable to everyone and that's fine, it's only an issue when people spend their time on hating a fictional character instead of focusing on the ones they like and when they send hate to the actors portraying them... which is something that as far as I'm aware happened to every single actress/actor who played a love interest to Buck or Eddie on the show.

this fandom hates women in general, just look at how most people talk about Shannon, Maddie, Abby, Ana, Taylor, Natalia, Marisol... like. characters are flawed that's why they're interesting, but hating them for having to make decisions in difficult situations? or for literally nothing but dating one of the guys as is the case of Ana and Marisol (though Marisol's actress is a vile human being and her character has a seemingly weird bond with her brother, so there is that).

I'd argue that Taylor is the most hated female character on the show and I regularly see posts that feature her with tags like "taylor kelly jumpscare" and such which I just find excessive...

[kimbap-r0ll]

So you know how Harley Quinn has pet hyenas? Can you please do Savanaclaw reacting a reader who used to look after their animal counterparts back in their world (maybe reader introduces them to each other when they take them on a trip to their home)?

I'm sadly not up to date with DC stories sadly 😓 but this was a cool fact! Thanks for the ask, I'm planning for the reader here to perhaps be someone like a zoologist or an animal researcher

Savanaclaw with a reader who has a hyena they work closely with

Leona

Thinks it's kinda funny that you happen to know so much about hyenas. It's just random, something he didn't really expect (he thought you might be interested in anything but animals)

Might tease you about it a bit, asking you if you ever had interest in lion research instead haha

Overall though he does find it really nice that you look so excited when you get to talk about your experience with a specific hyena that you were close to. Turns out you were with them since they were basically a cub and now it was all grown up

If you do get to show the hyena to Leona, he might be able to talk to it (he might be fluent honestly). Will the hyena like him? Maybe!

Ruggie

He loves you

Hyenas are so underrated, usually categorized as some scheming species that steals food and all (even back in Sunset Savanna they don't have the best reputation). But seeing how much you respect them kinda made him blush ngl

You are boosting his ego a bit, but he won't say anything. If you do decide to show him your hyena friend back at your world, he'll gladly tag along

Expect him to be fluent in animal language, besides it's a course they need to take at NRC. He might become friends with it and ask if he can take care of the hyena instead haha

Jack

Didn't know if you would be scared or intimidated by beastmen, but seeing you so chill with his features did make him a bit happy (he's always seen as a scary, big guy)

Didn't know you specialized in animal research and probably didn't guess it either. You just happened to be super good at classes that involved things like biology that he asked about it and you were like "Oh yeah, I do research, also hyenas are like my favorite."

Might be the one to tell Ruggie about it. Jack respects him a lot, and because you'll be staying in Twisted Wonderland for a while, why not introduce you to some of people from his dorm?

Please show him your hyena friend when you get the chance. He's a wolf beastman sure, but he would like to see them just because you talk about the hyena a lot. You also show funny videos of them when you have the chance, it's pretty wholesome

[mayday-jd]

it's here....

I am watching all the trolls movie in one sitting while taking a break between each one to really process the colorful trip I'm about to go on

so obviously the first question I'd ask myself would be was trolls (2016) good?? and the answer is yeah it's pretty fun but not that it's fantastic more like smth I'd put on if I got bored and wanted to watch a silly movie with songs and bright fucking characters

so I'd give it a 7/10 maybe

now onto some notes and silly remarks shall we?

—————

• the movie starts with a scrapbooking montage/flashback where it's basically explains that bergens eat trolls to feel happy because they're miserable creatures that don't sing, dance or hug

and when the flashback actually starts we literally see gristle (who has NEVER eaten a troll) FUCKING SMILE LIKE??

"daddy omg it's trollstice I'm so excited!! 🥹"

tell me this boy is not buzzing with fucking joy rn look me dead in the eyes and tell me that

and yeah ik that what's said in the intro probably isn't all meant literally cuz when poppy and branch arrive to bergen town all the ppl there start singing clint eastwood by gorillaz (which was fucking hilarious LMAO)

• bridget and gristle are SO FUCKING ADORABLE LIKE LOOK AT THEM

they don't know they're destined to fall in love but bridget's sure as hell already in love with gristle lol

they're honestly so sweet and happy tgt I wish they explode I hate them sm (they're everything to me)

I can't believe they pulled a cinderella and I didn't hate it the entire time cuz ngl bridget is that girl she just doesn't know it

speaking of bridget....

• I love gristle duh he's so dumb and adorable and stupid and a literal man child but in an endearing way that somehow works

but bridget?? she truly means everything to me

she's just so miserable and sad in this movie it's awful to see so ty poppy for helping my girl out cuz goddamn was she in a horrible place yeesh...

I also could not get a ss of her with poppy but the besties??? the sisters?? the girls ever?? yeah they're like all that matters to me like that scene where bridget is set to ruin her life so poppy and the other trolls can escape cuz she showed her what true happiness was?? did not tear up at all 😎

• since I'm talking about bergens rn might as well say that I think the chef was a pretty damn good villain in this move

her motivations are clear, she has a consistent shitty personality and I don't find her that goofy or anything when she's carrying out her plan she's believable as an antagonist

her wanting to steal the throne and become queen kinda does make sense since she was banned from the town and developing a hatred/resentment for the same ppl that threw you away makes sense

and by "ppl" I mean the king aka the one on the throne so yeah she now wants to be queen and kill gristle lol

and since I'm talking about antagonists here let me talk about the biggest SNAKE in the room

ON THE NEXT POST 😁‼️

[lumeha]

Some travel thoughts (not specific to Bologna) now that I am waiting for the bus back to Paris :

- new backpack I had to buy because the zipper of my shitty-and-repaired-already Amazon backpack (that I am going to repair again, I didn't throw it away) is actually incredibly roomy ?? How the fuck do I still have space for Stuff in there. I'm actually impressed for the price. Kinda smad it's all synthetic but I was on a budget and with a broken backpack on my shoulder

- travel bag from the thrift store is great but it's definitely more of a "traveling by car" or "not having to drag your bag for kilometers" or "public transports" kind of practical. I am amazed at how roomy it is, but it's definitely more for the trips back home. Next time I'm traveling like that I'm bringing one of my suitcases, maybe the smaller one. It was a pain to drag everywhere today, which is why I didn't even try to go to the closing concert in Budrio. Good thing I learnt to be comfortable going alone to cafés to kill time

- ... After the emotional adventures with the bus on the first day, I will probably try to favour the train. The price difference isn't super worth it for me, and I'm not very excited about the 14 hours trip back to Paris. Also. Yeah. That cancellation. Still stings ngl. Still probably an excellent option when going solo, but fuck I don't want to deal with this ever again. The train is much more comfortable too.

- a B&B near a good bus route is incredible, definitely would do that again, especially since it did let me pay less than taking a room in or near the city center. I already pay a lot more than if I had the possibility to split, so it's an excellent reminder. I should probably actually study the public transports next time though. Good thing it's super solid in Bologna.

- Google Maps having options for public transport actually saved my ass from SO much stress, especially considering I arrived extremely late the first day and had to navigate going out of town

- still sticking to my guns, not fully making plans beyond two or three objectives made going around Bologna and getting surprised really fun. Definitely how I personally prefer to travel

[rainwolfheart]

observations from my first week and change of officially dating two people at once (who are also dating each other) (we've sorta been dating for like two months but not really it's complicated)

polyamory involves a lot more laundry, dishes, and grocery store trips than you'd think

the scheduling agony is real

making out with two people at once when all three of you are into each other is one of the most fun things in the world

hearing that your date was really excited to tell their partner about their fun date with you is a massive ego boost ngl

things get confusing quickly when you are three people who all use they/them in some capacity

some poly people are like flies to honey when they find out you're poly and it's kinda uncomfortable tbh

autism/adhd babes are the best communicators

teaming up with one person to make the other get all bashful and flustered is a lot of fun 10/10 would recommend

feeling immediately closer to one person isn't as weird as i expected (but i was right to expect it), it just kinda makes me excited to get to know the other at their pace and feel less pressure to rush into it

i'm not saying you should always date your exes' exes but it seems to be working out so far so i wouldn't not recommend it?? you already have stuff in common, like your taste in flighty bisexual playwrights and ability to get your heart broken by them

cats do not give a shit how many people are on your bed, they're gonna try to squeeze in there too

[bearsbeetsbeskar]

Ah yes yes yes, I love all of that!

I'm sometimes frustrated because I didn't enjoy season three while it seems most fans did (which I'm glad for them), and it's kinda discouraging sometimes. I loved season one and two so bad and wanted to love season three, but I just couldn't :(

Ngl, unless I hear that the movie and/or season four is back to what the show once was, I'm not gonna watch it.

I'm just really happy to have the first two seasons, and if worst comes to worst, I'm more than grateful to live off those.

Yes yes yes this is exactly how I felt love!

I wanted to like season 3 so SO badly, I really tried. But after every episode I was left feeling confused, disappointed, and short changed.

Many people argued that season 3 was amazing regardless but to me it just did not follow the vibes and overall 'badassness' if you will, that season 1 and season 2 had. I think I also was so excited and hyped for season 3 cause it was the first season I would be able to enjoy after joining the fandom, and splitting from my ex (who had such an insecurity complex over my love for the show and pedro - like to the point where he told me that I ruined the show for him bc of how obsessed I became with pedro - like OK bro). And for it to go the way it did, I felt so let down.

also, this is completely an aside - but due to pedro's filming schedule with tlou, his stunt double brendan wayne was in the suit for majority of filming for s3, and I don't know what's up with that man but he has some kind of major ego trip. Especially after season 3 aired. Making all kinds of posts with subtext or slights that completely diss pedro's inability to be in the suit, calling himself the actual mandalorian. Like WHAT? you're a STUNT DOUBLE BRO. I will be genuinely surprised if Disney keeps him on, but they need someone to be in the suit when pedro can't physically be there so I doubt that will be happening anytime soon

And I just don't get how people could like a season that barely focused on the relationship between the two main characters that were the heart of the show in the first place?

But again, that is just my opinion, to each their own.

I am apprehensive about season 4 (if there will even be a season 4 at this point), and I am apprehensive about the movie. As you said, if it isn't about grogu and Din, I will be severely disappointed and continue to live in my bubble where I only acknowledge season 1 and season 2. And I'm really hoping for the wow factor of the movie that we will get a helmet less Din scene, or at least that pedro will be under the suit for majority of filming, as a final send off for Din

but THANK YOU for sharing your thoughts with me, it means a lot to know there are others who feel the same way about our beloved Din and this show. I'm always so eager to nerd out about my love for this show and that bucket head and his green son ❤️

[bonesandthebees]

And I’m upping the fear factor again, because last time you were this excited and dropped a sneak peek was chapter 19 and if it's the same level of emotional impact I’m terrified. And that sneak peek is very intriguing, there are implications there. Probably nightmare and checking up on each other related, depending on what part of the palace they are in. And Tommy is having a rough time.

Also, for some reason you’ve managed to post the last 2-3 chapters the day before I have a relatively free day each time, and you’ve done so again, so I’m kinda good on getting the analysis in but how the hell are you writing this fast.

-🌲

hmm idk if the fear factor per se should be upped... well maybe it should. you'll have to see :) it's definitely emotional!

yes there are a lot of implications there! could be checking up on each other, could be something else. tommy is definitely having a rough time though

AYYY happy to accidentally oblige your schedule! also, ngl I don't know how I wrote a 12k chapter in 2 days. I think it has to do with the fact that I have a 'deadline' (the deadline being the trip I leave for on friday) although I don't think I'm going to write another chapter before my trip, just because this chapter is a very good wait point to leave things off at until i'm back from the trip. also i've just been very mentally invested in stars. I think putting strings on hiatus really helped because now I only have one story to focus on again so I can put my full effort into it.

oh, also, hyperfixation helps a lot too lmaooooo

[kandulce]

Saw a grimmons fan art you posted with “I’m tired of my grief,” I’m wondering what that quote’s from?

U ever stumble across a song that just fucks u up softly. Like u happened to hear it during a very specific time in your life, right before or during or after change, and it hits u with the strongest, most gentle nostalgic or melancholy emotion that u can't stand to listen to it more than once every few months.

WELL mine is The Wisp Sings by Winter Aid. Now now-- before u swing the guillotine of Cringe because it was a song TikTok used to death at one point-- u gotta hear me out. And then u can cut the proverbial rope.

Listen. Listen. Do u have a spot. A quiet spot. A spot where u feel warm and quiet. Where the sunlight shines through and it smells like home. Could be ur hardwood floor right next to the window at 4:13 pm specifically on a day in April when the sun hits it perfectly. Could be the backseat of a car you've known for as long as you've been alive, with people you completely trust talking quietly up frot and a full battery of a playlist for the road trip you've been excited for for months.

Change, big change, hUGE irrevocable change is just around the corner, next week, tomorrow-- you're not entirely certain what it'll be specifically, but oh shit here come dat boi. So u k n o w u have to enjoy the now while you have it.

and then u mistakenly play the song, or u humor ur favorite fanfic artist when they recommend it in their fic.

and then I projected my feelings onto Grimmons bc Lolix just wouldn't hit the vibe.

Also grief kinda sounds like Grif ngl

This is the fic if you're curious. I'm madly in love with everything this person has written

[0thsense]

11/5/2023

Back from glorious nippon. To be honest it was definitely a fun trip. It made me realize just how starved I've been of human interaction in general this past year. I have a whirlwind of thoughts I'd like to put down so lets get started.

I brought up IQ and online tests to Michael and Reggie, but more to Michael in particular. They both seemed to not have had much prior interest in them, which slightly surprised me from a basal part of my mind since I'm interested in them. But I know that I have way more interest than normal. Michael tried them and scored surprisingly high, getting 138 on one diagnostic. Since that is about what I get, and I previously thought I had higher IQ to be honest, it was a little surprising. It makes me think that what I previously thought were larger gaps between me and others might actually be much smaller. I'm also suspecting more and more that I'm not actually smarter than others to the extent that I think.

What is the difference then? Is it simply personal bias that I especially notice the times when I seem smarter> Or is it some sort of strangeness I have with a tendency to analyze everything? Hard to say I suppose. I was unable to tease anything out of Reggie about insecurities relating to intelligence and other things that I've long suspected he had. Even at the onsen we didn't really open up that much, despite my efforts.

My mood was definitely very good overall on the trip, and definitely a large part of that was being off my meds. I'm kind of torn on whether I should continue meds at this point. Maybe I just need to drink coffee every time I need to focus. That's probably what my parents did, given they drank 8 cups of coffee a day or something absurd like that. I'm definitely more fun and quirky when I'm not on them, and I'm even trying to stay off of them to see what happens for a bit now that I'm back.

Another thing I've looked a bit into recently is attachment styles. I think I maybe fearful avoidant, due to being scared of my parents when I was young. I think that's the one that's the worst. Another thing to blame on my parents kappa. I don't really know how to fix it other than just trying to force myself to trust others. It's really hard for me I've realized, and this is probably part of the reason why I've always thought about being so self sufficient.

I brought this up to the girl I went on a date with a week before the japan trip. this transition was awkward lol. That date kinda sucked, it was just really boring. Oh well I guess. I don't really have much thoughts on it even though in theory it's something exciting. I'll try to stay active on Hinge I guess for more excitement with some new pictures from Japan but I'm trying to not expect too much.

I was happy with how my fitness helped during the whole Japan trip. I think I had the most stamina and energy throughout the trip. Japanese girls are really cute ngl. I wish I was still at the age where it was more socially acceptable to just be into girls all the time. I hate that I grew up in church and had such warped ideas coming out of it.

I guess I should write some actual exposition about the trip. Reggie did say he started keeping a daily journal where he just writes what happened, and doesn't really go into further thought or detail like I try to do. I kind of assumed that other journalers would also follow my style but I guess I'm wrong? maybe? Reggie probably isn't an exception here. Am I weird for actually thinking about everything? Probably. But nobody would admit that they're a shallow thinker, it's one of the things where there's infinite ways to cope yourself into believing that you think about things just as much as the next guy.

I wonder if others also have thoughts relating kimonos to flowers blooming. I hope that doesn't come off as misogynistic. I wonder where I would be the misogyny scale. Of course I'd like to believe I'd be really low but who knows? I can't read other people's or my own mind on these things. When I got boba with Ned I accidentally gendered a nonspecified secretary as "she" and I think that bothered Ned even though I caught it and corrected myself. I feel like that's unfair of him. When someone talks about a secretary helping David Shaw out do people really not imagine a mental scene where the secretary has a gender? I guess I didn't possess the faculties and awareness to gender them only in my hypothetical mental scene and shake that off when back to talking about them in the realm of only the information actually presented. Maybe this is the non-misogyny skill I need to practice. It does make me feel a little mad though.

Oh yea I've been experimenting with trying to actually feel my emotions. I might have mentioned this in a past blog but I'm actually trying to feel the anger and sadness I've bubbled up for far too long. I think it's sort of working? In the sense that sometimes I do think I'm feeling angry or sad profoundly. I'm not sure if feeling them helps at all though. My mood right now is pretty good randomly. I sure hope it doesn't go back down to the dumps again.

The food and views in Japan were excellent. I don't really have much more to say about it.

I predict everything and the things that I remember are the things that deviate most from what I've predicted. Wow that sounds so edgy. Surely I remember things that were really good or really bad even if I predicted them. Like even if I predicted a view to be really good would I not be struck by how good it is? Or maybe that's the thing. It's impossible to truly predict nature's beauty without actually seeing it. That would be nice if that were true. Will I remember the views of Japan? Maybe if I convince myself they were special enough, which I think I partly have already. Same with the food.