weepingdreamlandcollective

[weepingdreamlandcollective]

Washing the void

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[weepingdreamlandcollective]

midwests emos scare the shit out of me how the hell you grow up in a corn field and come out listening to mindless self indulgence what the fuck happened in that corn field

[weepingdreamlandcollective]

Weird Questions

If I’m somewhere where there are Educational Personell (Museum Docents, Q&A zookeepers, Park Rangers, Public School Teachers, Professors etc.) I have a question I like to ask them:

“What’s the weirdest question someone’s ever asked you?”

I say weird and not Dumb becuase even buckwild questions can have important answers, but whoever I ask it too usually has to think about it for a bit, then comes out with something different every time.  And I love every single answer becuase it just warms my heart out there to know people are trying to understand the world a bit better, no matter how limited thier starting point. A collection of favorites so far:

Art Museum Host: “A man once asked me “Can you help me find someone and if you can’t can you find someone who can?”  Which I always thought would be a great title for an Artwork.”

Park Ranger: “I’m so glad the Japanese couple asked me “Is bear spray like mosquito spray and it goes on the jacket, or on the bear?” instead of just trying it.”

Zookeeper: “A man once pointed at the live red-tailed hawk I had out for a demo and asked me “Aren’t those extinct?” We eventually figured out he meant “Endangered” but I hear that question every time I see a redtail now.”

Primary School Teacher: “About every other year a student asks me what part of the school I sleep in at night, because clearly I live here.  I tell them I sleep under the bleachers in the gym but it’s actually the Nurse’s office.”

Professor: “A student asked me “So how do I use this in a conversation when my aunt is wine-drunk at thanksgiving and being a jerk again?” Which honestly is a fair question about philosophy and really changed how I teach rhetoric.”

Natural History Docent: “A woman once asked me what the difference between a Million and a Billion was.  Kinda pieced together that she’d just left her church for her safety, and was learning about Earth’s Natural History for the first time. Nobody else was there because it had been snowing, so I walked her through the Hall Of Time and answered as many questions as I could.  She was bewildered, but really trying. It always struck me as a really brave thing, to try to understand all of that while fresh out of a dangerous situation. I hope it helped.”

Forensic Scientist:  “People ask me how to commit murder all the time, but if you really hate someone, stealing thier identity causes much more suffering and is a lot harder to get caught at. A guy did ask me if working at a body farm was creepy and did not like that it was ok until you learned that decayed human fingers are a deer’s favorite midwinter snack.”

Zookeeper: “People call us becuase they think they’ve found an escaped animal all the time, or they think they’re neighbor’s husky is a wolf. One guy asked me if his dog was part hyena because it had spots. But that one guy really did have a Tiger in his toolshed that one time so we try to take them seriously.”

Meteorologist: “A guy once emailed me about how hard you’d have to fan a tornado to make it start spinning in the other direction and included a picture of him holding up a box fan at an approaching tornado.  We printed it out for the work fridge.”

Park Ranger: “I was giving a talk on the Yellowstone Supervolcano and a guy asked if, after it errupted, the earth would be ‘hollowed out’.  I suppose I was just relieved that he understand that the earth isn’t flat.”

Primarcy Shcool teacher: “A student once asked me where she could sell her bones online so she could by a dog.  Which? Same.”

Natural History Docent: “A guy asked us ‘If I had a time machine, and managed to kill and cook a T-Rex, what would it have tasted like?’ and every paleontologist on staff deciced to take him seriously.  They did research to learn about fat distribution, and read up on culinary science to learn what flavors meat, even did chemical analysis on the bones.  They concluded that it’d be Tough (no evidence of juicy fat pockets), bitter (carnivores tend to taste foul) and would probably kill him, because heavy metals travel up the food chain and T-Rex accumulated a lot of the cadmium that was in the dirt in the late cretaceous.  Wrote him a letter with our findings and he sent us back a drawing of him and his buddies cooking a T-Rex over a fire and all of them throwing up and dying, and it’s my favorite drawing in the whole world.”

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[weepingdreamlandcollective]

We are pleased to inform you of the grand re-opening of our new Law Services and Practice at 10:37pm tonight July 1st, 2020! We hope to see all you beautiful people there. And remember, just because you did it, doesn’t mean you’re guilty! @disgusting-little-fella

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Just some moments with my hoard 🍀

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hannibal lecter calmly explaining the elder scrolls games to me over the phone: …but the most recent game is called Skyrim.

me: Skyrin?

hannibal lecter: No no, Skyrim.

me: Right, Skyrin.

hannibal lecter: You’re saying it incorrectly. Skyrim.

me: Yeah, Skyrin.

hannibal lecter: Sky. Rim.

me: Sky.

hannibal lecter: Sky.

me: Rin.

hannibal lecter:

[weepingdreamlandcollective]

I too was wanting to post my hoard!!! I can't wait to see what you've collected!!

Henlo I am here for the goblin stuff! Friend? 😄

friend! hello!! i have yet to post pictures of my goblin hoard, but those are coming soon!

[weepingdreamlandcollective]

often i forget that i am actually a real person, and that i have real responsibilities and real people relying on me for various real things. i wish i was a toad-

[weepingdreamlandcollective]

Shakespeare can suck my ass. Killing hot women for shock value is not a vibe bro. Like bro. Not very sexy.

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[weepingdreamlandcollective]

Notebooks based on Simpsons books.

[weepingdreamlandcollective]

ITT Ideal Color 3324 / Poltergeist (1982)

[weepingdreamlandcollective]

A quick list of some ideas for ways to incorporate supporting BLM into your craft! You’ll notice all of these have one key ingrediant; DO SOMETHING IN THE MUNDANE! All the witchcraft in the world wont fix this alone. We must work in any way that we can to take action in the physical world to combat injustice in all its forms and use magic to supplament, not replace this action.

For those of us who aren’t cut out for the frontlines:

1. Build a ritual around donating to a support fund. This might look like blessing the money you plan to send with petitions for safety and protection. You might do a money abundance spell so that the money you send begets more money sent by others. Maybe you petition any deities you work with to protect protesters and donate the money in your deity’s honor.

2. Research solutuons to get residue from tear gas and mace off of someone’s skin and use kitchen witchery to weave magic into making that solution. Then donate that shit to protesters near you. From what I’ve read, milk soothes the burn (only on skin) and regular soapy water will help remove the residue but please do your own research. You could bless the milk, saline, soap, water, whatever and make mixtures to give out to protesters and protest medics. Maybe using moon water in the solution to bring love and light into the lives of those the spray has to be used on.

3. Use knot magic to give an extra boost while sewing masks for protesters! With COVID-19 still very much impacting people around the world it’s important for us to do everything we can to minimize the spread during protests. Consider using a glamour on a mask you’re making to make someone’s words more persuasive. Maybe put knots in the stitching to help a protester hold onto their courage to speak out or which helps them come closer together with the commonity they are protesting with.

4. Support black witches! Buy tarot readings and spell ingredients. Promote their shops and work, listen to their voices, donate to their causes.

On the frontlines:

1. Put sigils into your protest signs or under your clothes to bring you courage, protection, and influence. You might also cleanse goggles or an umbrella you take to shield you from mace. Sigils on boxes of bandaging and petitions to deities for healing and guidance are also possibilities.

2. Ward your home and offer it as a safe escape for protesters who have been trapped outside (more and more we are seeing police preventing people from leaving before curfew then arresting and attacking protesters who are now suddenly violating curfew). Be aware that the police will almost definitely attempt to come to your home to arrest the protesters and read up on your rights.

3. Make showering off and wound care part of a ritual when returning home from the protest. This will allow you to care for your mental health and physical health and cleanse yourself of the intense energy that comes with protesting knowing you are in danger.

Take care of yourselves in these times. The world is trying to change and growth on this scale is necessarily painful. Taking care of yourself *is* a way to take care of others. You cannot pour from an empty cup nor get someone to the hospital in an ambulance with only two weels.

Love and Light 🌸💕

[weepingdreamlandcollective]

WITCHES! On June 5th (the full moon) we are doing everything we can to help our black siblings in this fight. Protection spells, binding spells, curses, and hexes are all welcome. Please craft responsibly and don’t do anything out of your comfort zone!