utmostumbrage-blog - Tumblr blog

[utmostumbrage-blog]

darkplumdragon:

…so that’s wh3r3 I kn3w you from! I’v3 m3t anoth3r ch3rub b3for3! Not you, but I r3cogniz3d th3 facial f3atur3s and stuff! Though grant3d, th3 on3 I talk3d to b3for3 was kind of an asshol3 :/

As for th3 sp3ll, it just start3d today and it said it would last a w33k. So…y3ah. It’s gonna b3 a littl3 whil3. But I won’t impos3, I promis3. 

OH. THAT ALMOST MADE ME LAUGH. I AM ALSO AN ASSHOLE. 

A WEEK. YOU ARE PLANNING ON STAYING HERE. A WEEK?

[utmostumbrage-blog]

darkplumdragon:

Oh, I won’t b3 staying long! I don’t plan on ov3rstaying my w3lcom3. As soon as I’m back to normal, I’ll b3 out of h3r3. Most lik3ly soon3r than that, if I’m b3ing hon3st.

Oh? So you know what trolls ar3? Funny, not many oth3r l3pr3chauns s33m3d to know what th3y w3r3

PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE. HOW MUCH LONGER. WILL YOU BE UNDER THIS SPELL?

OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT TROLLS ARE. I HAVE ENCOUNTERED MANY. MOST OF WHICH I DID NOT ENJOY. YES. BECAUSE THEY CAME FROM THEIR HOME PLANETS FULL OF LEPRECHAUNS. DIRECTLY TO MIDNIGHT CITY. WHICH IS FULL OF CARAPACIANS. THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN A TROLL IN THEIR LIVES. AND. I AM NO LEPRECHAUN. I AM A CHERUB.

[utmostumbrage-blog]

darkplumdragon:

W3ll…through a s3ri3s of strang3 univ3rsal int3ractions, it s33ms I’v3 b33n turn3d into a l3pr3chaun for th3 span of th3 n3xt upcoming w33k. And a f3w of th3 m3mb3rs off3r3d to l3t m3 stick around whil3 I’m lik3 this, at l3ast until I turn back to normal.

I’m normally a troll, actually. A s3adw3ll3r to b3 pr3cis3.

RIGHT. I SEE. WITHOUT CONSULTING ME. OF COURSE. BUT DO NOT GET THE WRONG IDEA. GUESTS ARE ALWAYS LOVELY. YOU ARE WELCOME HERE. FOR THE TIME BEING.

I WOULD HAVE IMAGINED. TAKING YOUR NAME INTO CONSIDERATION.

[utmostumbrage-blog]

darkplumdragon:

Dracor Magist, curr3nt gu3st of th3 F3lt and S33r of Tim3.

S33ms w3 hav3 similar titl3s, Caliborn C:

AH. SO IT IS YOU THAT HAS BEEN SCURRYING ABOUT IN THE MANOR TONIGHT. WE FINALLY MEET. IT WOULD SEEM WE DO. DRACOR.

TELL ME. WHAT BRINGS YOU TO FELT MANOR?

[utmostumbrage-blog]

GREETINGS.

#you s33m#oddly familiar#vagu3ly#hav3 i s33n you som3wh3r3 b3for3?

IF YOU HAVE SEEN ME. I CERTAINLY HAVE NOT SEEN YOU. I AM CALIBORN. HEAD OF THE FELT. AND LORD OF TIME. WHO. ARE YOU?

@utmostumbrage started following you

…h3llo

[utmostumbrage-blog]

You don’t really know me unless you’ve experienced wanting to punch me in the face

[utmostumbrage-blog]

[utmostumbrage-blog]

quartergun:

Not at all. I’m only making an observation.

He wasn’t really crying until you yelled at him.

I mean, yes I was getting tired of the crying, and yes he was upset, but he was just sad until he got yelled at. You only made him cry when he wasn’t beforehand.

GOOD. I WANTED TO MAKE HIM CRY THAT TIME. I FIND IT MOST ENJOYABLE. WHEN IT IS BY MY HAND.

[utmostumbrage-blog]

ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME. HOW TO DO MY JOB? BECAUSE. I DON’T THINK I WOULD APPRECIATE IT. IF YOU WERE.

I ONLY WANTED BISCUITS. TO STOP CRYING. ABOUT HOW MUCH HE MISSES EGGS. AND ABOUT HOW MUCH HE WANTED HIM TO COME BACK. WHEN HE IS NOT COMING BACK. IT WAS GETTING OLD. SURELY. YOU COULD UNDERSTAND.

@utmostumbrage said: “YOU SAY THAT LIKE I AM NOT ALWAYS SO HARSH.”

Oh, no I know you’re that harsh. But there was no need to be that harsh with Biscuits.

[utmostumbrage-blog]

bakersdozen-biscuits:

Wh

Eggs is smarter than everyone gives him credit for….! even if we ain’t as smart as Crowbar or Quarters we know how to take care of ourselves

Eggs is… he can’t be gone, he wouldn’t just leave me. He’s my best friend,

EGGS MAY BE SMARTER THAN WE GIVE HIM CREDIT FOR. BUT THAT DOES NOT MAKE HIM SMART.

OH! BUT HE CAN BE! BECAUSE DEATH COMES TO EVERYONE. AND ANYONE. AT ANY PLACE. AND ANY TIME. IT MAY BE DIFFICULT TO SWALLOW. BUT IT IS THE TRUTH. WHETHER YOU FUCKING LIKE IT OR NOT.

SO. UNTIL EGGS DOES TURN UP. WHICH HE WON’T. I HEREBY PRONOUNCE HIM DEAD. AND THAT. IS THAT.

[utmostumbrage-blog]

#i know we ain't too smart but i don't wanna give up on Eggs..

WELL YOU SHOULD. BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR FUCKING LIFE.

NEWSFLASH! CROWBAR CAME BACK AFTER SO LONG. BECAUSE HE HAS A BRAIN! ON THE OTHER HAND. EGGS HAS NOT YET RETURNED. AND HIS BRAIN. IS THE SIZE. OF A FUCKING WALNUT.

TAKING THIS INTO CONSIDERATION. I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION. THAT EGGS. AS MUCH AS I HATE TO ADMIT IT MYSELF. IS DEAD. SO STOP WAITING. FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL NOT COME BACK. EVER. AND GET OVER IT.

utmostumbrage replied to your post: I still miss Eggs,

EGGS IS NOT GOING TO BE BROUGHT BACK. NOR IS HE COMING BACK AT ALL.

But… But he has to come back,

I mean uh…. I don’t mean any disrespect boss it’s just that if Crowbar came back after this long I think.. I think maybe Eggs could too

[utmostumbrage-blog]

OH FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK

[utmostumbrage-blog]

bloodredseven:

I’m well. I can see I have my work cut out for me. Last night was a big enough mess as it was, today wasn’t so bad, but I’ve still got the matter of finding out the hell’s going on with someone from the Crew hanging around. I tried to talk to Fin to see if he could figure out when it would happen next, but he dodged the question, so he clearly knows something and won’t fess up.

Keeping everyone in line would be a daunting task for anybody, but at least nobody’s died.

I was searching for everyone that’s missing. It’s apparent they managed to find their way back themselves, with the exception of Eggs. I’m starting to think Eggs’ idiocy may have been his undoing. Curiosity killed the cat, but I have my doubts about satisfaction bringing it back.

OF COURSE HE KNOWS SOMETHING. HE IS THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN BRINGING THE CREW HERE. I SHOULD BE HAVING SHARK FIN SOUP RIGHT ABOUT NOW. BUT FIN IS TOO STUPID AND SCARED OF ME TO TELL THE CREW ANY IMPORTANT INFORMATION. SO I HAVE NOT YET TAKEN DIRECT ACTION REGARDING THIS ISSUE. I HAVE. HOWEVER. ENSURED HE HAS COMMUNICATED WITH THE CREW MUCH LESS FREQUENTLY.

YES. AT LEAST NOBODY HAS DIED. YET. I SUGGEST YOU KEEP AN EYE ON TRACE. IF YOU WANT TO KEEP THAT STATEMENT TRUE.

IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE AT THIS POINT. THAT EGGS IS DEAD. NOT EVEN SATISFACTION CAN SAVE THIS ONE.

[utmostumbrage-blog]

AFTERNOON, CROWBAR. I AM WELL. WHAT OF YOURSELF?

OF COURSE I HAVE BEEN.  BUT. I WILL ADMIT. IT HAS BEEN FAIRLY DIFFICULT KEEPING EVERYONE IN LINE. FROM TIME TO TIME. EVERYTHING HAS BEEN FALLING APART. AND IT IS INFURIATING. BUT AT LEAST THE CREW HAS NOT MADE ANY MOVES AS OF LATE.

AND. I MUST SAY. I AM POSITIVELY DYING TO ASK. WHERE THE *HELL* HAVE YOU BEEN?

@utmostumbrage started following you

Good afternoon, sir. How are you?

Following that, have you been managing these idiots alright?

[utmostumbrage-blog]

UGH.

[utmostumbrage-blog]

foretellershark:

but th

youre just a little guy you’re a baby boss, boss

NO. I AM NOT LITTLE. NOR AM I A BABY. SO I REITERATE. SHUT UP.

[utmostumbrage-blog]

IT IS BAD. SO SHUT THE HELL UP.

utmostumbrage replied to your post: holy shit guys little boss right he’s the boss and…

FIN. DO YOU ACCEPT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ON YOUR POSTS?

i have no idea what either of those words mean but sure thing