useless-shameless-pretty

[useless-shameless-pretty]

I'm back!!! still totally not over this fandom lol

When Zhao Yunlan and his merry bunch of undergraduates finish fighting nazis in the old crumbling tunnels of the ancient underground Cappadocian city, Zhao Yunlan's grip firmly on his whip, and two of the undergraduates holding hands besottedly, Zhu Hong, his new ambitious postdoc, suddenly asks, "How many of us were there again?" and Zhao Yunlan can almost taste the dry ash-like bitterness of trouble.

"Seven? I think," says Ling Jin, which means exactly nothing, because his mathematical skills are only active when he sees data points or a spreadsheet, not dark teeming masses of protein-based life forms, as he likes to say. Zhao Yunlan teases him mercilessly about this despite his own wretchedly chuunibyou past.

"You forgot Xiao Guo," adds Chu Shuzhi with a grimace that might be homicidal or slightly put out, depending on how you look at it.

But his point is moot anyway because Zhao Yunlan has seen him already: the monster standing behind them, covered in a billowing dark cloak. He has no face but fortunately also no nazi insignia.

Perhaps they could parlay. Zhao Yunlan smiled.

"Hello?" he says in what he hopes could pass for bashfulness. "Nice to meet you. My name is Zhao Yunlan, and I'm and archaeologist. And you?"

Darkness is falling upon Derinkuyu but in the last rays of purple glowing sun the monster raises his head and sighs.

"Wei," he says. "I am very pleased to make your acquaintance. Could you give us back the crystal skull now? Our museum needs it for the exhibition."

"Why!" says Zhao Yunlan. "A museum is just what we were had in mind, ourselves."

"Please be advised that no reputable museum will accept unprovenanced antiquities."

"Yes, that's right," admits Zhao Yunlan in a daze. "Maybe we could compromise?"

"What do you mean?" asks the monster suspiciously, and this is enough to put Zhao Yunlan back on track.

"Will you smile for me?"

[useless-shameless-pretty]

waaaaaaaaaah

for the first time in my life I'll be going to a country where I don't know the language AND even the writing system and it's making me so so stressed I don't even knooooow

also I have so much work I (day)dream of writing just for fun when I not-sleep

[useless-shameless-pretty]

[original tweet: https://twitter.com/deathbulge/status/1100892392243298306]

[useless-shameless-pretty]

[useless-shameless-pretty]

black and asian vikings 100% definitely existed (also, saami vikings)

you know how far you can get into eurasia and africa by sailing up rivers from the baltic and mediterranean seas? pretty fucking far, and that’s what vikings liked to do to trade

then, you know, people are people, so love happens, business happens, and so ppl get married and take spouses back home to the frozen hellscape that is scandinavia (upon which i’m guessing the horrorstruck new spouses went “WHAT THE FUCK??? FUCKING GIVE ME YOUR JACKET???????”)

and sometimes vikings bought thralls and brought them home as well, and i mean, when your indentured service is up after however many years and you’re a free person again, maaaaaaaaaaaaybe it’s a bit hard to get all the way home across the continent, so you make the best out of the situation and you probably get married and raise a gaggle kids

so yeah

viking kingdoms/communities were not uniformly pure white aryan fantasy paradises, so pls stop using my cultural history and ethnic background to excuse your racist discomfort with black ppl playing heimdall and valkyrie

[useless-shameless-pretty]

Snow Covering Fruit Tree Flowers by Gurumustuk Singh on Flickr.

[useless-shameless-pretty]

Sun Jing the protective girlfriend being relevant as hell

From the Chinese manhua “Tamen de Gushi” by Tan jiu

[useless-shameless-pretty]

IF YOURE EGYPTIAN AND LGBTQ+ GET OFF ANY QUEER DATING SITES, THE POLICE ARE TRACKING AND HUNTING PEOPLE DOWN AGAIN. DELETE YOUR ACCOUNTS.

[useless-shameless-pretty]

Painted Eyebrow Trends in Tang Dynasty

This is a chart showing different eyebrow trends in the Tang Dynasty. It’s based on a chart in Chinese Clothing by Hua Mei and Gao Chunming (2004), on pg 37. I wanted to create a chart that had the eyebrows on faces. Interesting notes “Women of the Tang Dynasty paid particular attention to facial appearance, and the application of powder or even rouge was common practice. Some women’s foreheads were painted dark yellow and the dai (a kind of dark blue pigment) was used to paint their eyebrows into different shapes that were called dai mei(painted eyebrows) in general. There were literally a dozen ways to pait the eyebrows and between the brows there was a colourful decoration called hua dian, which was made of specks of gold, silver and emerald feather.” (5000 Years of Chinese Costume, 77) “…during the years of Yuanho in the reign of Xuanzong the system of costumes changed, and women no longer applied red powder to their faces; instead, they used only black ointment for their lips and made their eyebrows like like the Chinese character ‘八’.” (5000 Years of Chinese Costume, 77) The black lipstick style “was called the 'weeping makeup’ or 'tears makeup’.” (Chinese Clothing by Hua Mei, 37)

[useless-shameless-pretty]

a little about 就

就 (jìu) is an extremely useful word that is, as far as i can tell, pretty difficult for non-native speakers to use in a way that sounds natural — people put it in a Lot of places and they mean sliiiiightly different things. but i’ve seen a few posts about 就 and all of them have struck me as slightly incorrect. so let’s go over a few uses of 就 (but definitely not all), with some examples! 

let me know if you have any questions / requests for future posts!

(if you want to do your own reading on more complicated constructions, here’s a good page to go through that’s more comprehensive than what i cover here, which mostly comes from here.)

1. 就 as “just,” “only,” “exactly”

this is the most common usage of 就, commonly seen in the construction 就是. this emphasizes what you say, often similar to the english “just” or “only” in usage. this often is used in accusations / defiant sounding sentences, because of the bluntness / harshness of the tone.

eg. 就（在）这里。it’s [exactly] here.

eg. 就这么多？just this much?

eg. 二十分钟就到了。we arrived in just twenty minutes.

eg. 他就这么说。that’s just [exactly] what he said. OR he just [only] said that.

eg. 你找的（人）就是我！the person you’re looking for is me [exactly]!

eg. 凶手就是他！the killer was him [exactly]! 

2. 就是 as “solely because of…”

this is always paired with 是, and denotes a sense of causation, but it can often carry an emotional/stubborn/petulant tone, because of the “exactly” meaning often implying something like “obviously,” haha. in this case, it’s approximately equivalent to “是(因为)…才(会)” (”it was only because [reason] that [event occurred]”) but with more emphasis / often more emotional, similar to “it was just because of [reason] that [event occurred]!” if you don’t know that construction yet, don’t worry. see examples:

eg. 他这样说就是不喜欢我 。”he said this only because he doesn’t like me.” is the translation they give, but the connotation i’d give is more like… “the fact that he said that obviously means he doesn’t like me!” / “he said that solely because he doesn’t like me.” (you could reconstruct an approximation of this sentence as “他是因为不喜欢我才会这样说。”)

eg. 你不参加比赛就是怕输吗？you’re not entering the competition [solely] because you’re scared of losing? (a challenging or disappointed tone)

3. 就 as emphasis

here, it’s used as a kind of emphasis, that definitely implies a stubborn tone - ie. “it’s this way, no matter what [you/others] say!” 是 is optional in these cases, but lends a little more strength for that “it’s exactly this way, no matter what.”

eg. 我就(是)跟你去！i’m going with you! [no matter what you have to say about it!]

eg. 我就是喜欢他！i just like him! [and not anyone else / despite reasons why i maybe shouldn’t!] 

keep in mind that you’ll definitely sound stubborn / emotional when you say things like this!

[useless-shameless-pretty]

this was inevitable in many ways

Zhao Yunlan only had time to insult Xiao Guo's ancestors twice after the boy had stepped right on the part of a mysterious Dixingian array that immediately activated it - before a loud whooshing sound made all his curses useless - and Zhao Yunlan was standing somewhere else, under the light of the full moon, and Shen Wei said, in an elegant warm voice:

"Now, Zhao Yunlan!"

And Shen Wei didn't waste any more time, but raised something green in his hand, screamed something in badly accented English, and started a complicated choreography sequence in which he was very pretty, very naked and also very female.

Ah! The beauty! The great, great, great, great beauty!

Zhao Yunlan ogled him only for a moment (he had long green hair, how peculiar), and, having found a similar something in his hand, proceeded to emulate Shen Wei to the best of his ability.

There was an unfamiliar touch of air on his thighs. He was wearing a miniskirt. Zhao Yunlan was quite indifferent about this, but less so about Shen Wei, that beautiful wife, wearing one.

Shen Wei had been concentrating silently when Zhao Yunlan was done with his transformation. A green mirror appeared in front of his ample ample chest.

"Come, Sailor Uranus," said Shen Wei calmly. "We must help the others!"

Soon Zhao Yunlan saw the others, lead by Xiao Guo in a ridiculous blond hairdo with two buns. Lao Chu was standing in front of him, in a orange miniskirt quite worse for the wear, and damn, how could Zhao Yunlan not have noticed his great long legs before? Shen Wei was doing something to the mirror, and soon afterwards it send a wave of water and light at a grotesque monster, a cross between a human and a modern household appliance, probably a toaster.

"Halt!" screamed a mysterious man in a tuxedo, even though nobody was really going anywhere. "Give Sailor Uranus to me or I shall awaken monster in the whole of Tokyo and destroy the world!"

Shen Wei narrowed his eyes.

"Don't even think about your usual tricks, Sailor Neptune," said the man whose similarity to Shen Wei in his more masculine form was really striking. It's just that Zhao Yunlan felt Shen Wei would have a much better taste in top hats, although that hypothesis remained for now unverified.

Shen Wei threw back his flowing green hair. He was still holding the mirror in his right hand, but soon his familiar glaive manifested in his left.

"Sailor Neptune! No!" cried Xiao Guo pitifully.

"Stop! He will destroy the world!" screamed Zhu Hong, wearing a red miniskirt and tottering dangerously in red stilettos.

Shen Wei smiled mildly, like a lady.

"So what if he destroys the world? A world without Ah-Lan is not worth existing."

[useless-shameless-pretty]

I’m so tired of every show that takes place in the past (wild west, medieval, pirates etc) ALWAYS having so much sexual violence towards women like writers can cry “oh it’s realism” all you want but it’s very transparent how realism only applies when you want to hurt women on screen. If we’re talking staying realistic, why doesn’t everyone have brown teeth? Or bad skin? Or dying of dysentery? Just admit y'all want an excuse to brutalize women on screen lol

[useless-shameless-pretty]

Part 2 of the plan to get Da Qing to lose some weight is to better manage his feeding schedule (which has gotten way more difficult since he learned how to change into a human).

[insp.]

[useless-shameless-pretty]

Gong Xi Fa Cai! A safe, happy and healthy Year of the Piggies to you!

[useless-shameless-pretty]

I'm not even watching any of those and this was so interesting! Thank you OP! ♡♡♡

different anon: your post about the honorifics is so fascinating but I assume they're just never translated properly. Can you give some examples of where these kinds of titles are used? thanks!!

Well, if you look at the wikipedia article that I mentioned in that last post, it’s pretty obvious that to literally translate all the honorifics would make the dialogue really clunky so drama subtitles usually just translate it into the generic English ‘you’ and ‘I’. But in reality, these honorifics are e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e in Chinese period dramas. They are, after all, used literally in place of ‘you’ and ‘I’, so every time a person in a Chinese period drama opens their mouth, you can be sure they’re using some sort of those honorifics. 

さらに読む

[useless-shameless-pretty]

waaaaaah YESSSS

There’s a wet coughing sound that startles Yunlan. It’s followed by a loud strike of thunder and a flash of lightning that has Yunlan wondering if he imagined it. 

As the keeper of the lighthouse, Yunlan’s familiar with storms. He’s not sure what drew him to come out here at this time with the winds whipping his thin jacket around and the tides thrashing against the seabed.

But on stormy nights like this, it’s not uncommon for things to wash up on his small dock.

He hurries down towards the shore, holding his lantern above his head and navigating his way through the slippery rocks.

And when he sees a person sprawled on the rocks his first instinct is to turn back immediately, because there’s no way he’s dealing with a corpse right now. But the corpse moves and Yunlan realizes that the wet cough that he heard earlier must have been real after all.

So, he skids down to the bottom and hauls the person onto his back, muscles straining and heart pounding, he manages to hike back up to his lighthouse.

The person seems to be okay. He’s very pale, but his breathing sounds normal and his pulse is even. Yunlan half-carries and half-drags him over to the couch and starts taking off his very strange wet clothes, when his wrist is suddenly grasped in bone-crushingly strong grip.

Hissing in pain, Yunlan looks up to find himself staring into the eyes of the most attractive man he’s ever seen before. Stunned speechless, he stares unabashedly.

“Who are you? What have you done to me?” the man demands, voice slightly hoarse and unnatural, sounding as though he hadn’t spoken in a very long time.

Suddenly irritated, Yunlan replies brusquely, “I’m the owner of this lighthouse. Zhao Yunlan.” He tugs his wrist out of the other man’s grasp and stands up to pour him a cup of tea.

“I found you at the bottom of the rocks,” he says, handing him the cup. ��Drink this, your body temperature is too cold.” The other man stares at the liquid and makes no move to take it.

Yunlan, fed up with his guest already, sets the tea cup back down on the table and walks into his bedroom to grab some blankets.

He tosses them unceremoniously onto the man’s lap and says, “I don’t care what you were thinking, whatever you were doing out in the ocean at this time, it couldn’t have been safe. I don’t want anything to do with it. You can leave in the morning.” He turns to walk away when his wrist is grasped again. Turning around to glare fiercely, he’s surprised to see an apologetic smile on the man’s face.

“Wait,” the man says, letting go of Yunlan. “Thank you for saving me. My name is Shen Wei, I…apologize for causing you trouble.” He continues to apologize prettily but Yunlan tunes him out in favor of staring.

It’s only when the man stops speaking that he realizes he’s missed something.

“Sorry, say that again?”

The man smiles a bit and he looks so terribly beautiful that Yunlan almost misses what he says again.

“I’m what your people would call a ‘merman.’”    

[useless-shameless-pretty]

the idea as such is superhilarious and I really tried to make it work but it's just NO

The Dixing Oracle was a tall, middle aged woman, her hair hidden under a dark cowl.

"It is imperative," she said in a solemn voice, "that the fertility ritual be completed. Now that the Lord Envoy cannot carry it out like three hundred years ago, it is on your shoulders that this burden shall rest."

Ye Zun gave Zhao Xinci a dubious look, and Zhao Xinci responded in kind, his gaze full of loathing.

"Right," said Ye Zun. "Back to the pillar with me."