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Ugh I don't even know what I'm doing anymore honestly

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Just ask me what's wrong Please ask me if I'm okay Because I'm not and I need to talk but I can't bring it up on my own because I'm such a child

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This is an awful feeling that I can't stop feeling but I'm scared to bring it up in case it's true help

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I need to stop being so emotional I need to stop being so clingy and needy and annoying I need to stop falling asleep crying I need to learn to talk about my feelings and not let them eat away at my mental well being

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Why are my emotions doing this?

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There's being sad, then there's being very very sad, then there's the point you get to after that where you're just at a loss and so upset and frustrated because just fuck this shit right now

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Literally all I want right now is to sit with someone and ramble endlessly about all my hopes and dreams and passions because I'm about to explode with all of the wonders and possibilities and adventures I can't wait to explore

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HI MY NAME IS SARAH AND I OVERANALYZE EVERYTHING UNTIL I GET SAD ABOUT IT

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I just need to get off my bedroom floor, wipe away my tears, and go the fuck to sleep but I can't physically move

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I'm so utterly sad that my limbs are too heavy to move. I feel it in my whole body. Why am I so down right now, you ask? It's because I'm just so damn useless when it counts the most. It hurts me that I'm so hopeless and unable to help. I'm sorry.

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Oh well, I tried.

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I don’t know what to do right now because I’m in such a low mood but I don’t want to be so I’m going to just write a bit I guess. This longass journey to getting better is so hard on me. The main problem is that now I’m spending more time being brighter and happier, and most people see that as a good thing, but the downside is that all it means is when I do hit a low…I hit that low full force. I guess a side effect of finally knowing happy is that on the occasion happy is nowhere to be found I feel extra lost.

Another side thought running in my mind is the weights of sadness. There’s two types it seems. There’s the sad where everything hits you and drags you down and you feel like you weigh a million tonnes of pure sadness. And there’s the empty sad where everything is so deserted and hopeless that you literally feel like an empty shell of bones and depression.

Right now I’m the empty sad I think.

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Today's emotion has been one big sad sounding "oh...I see" 😔

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THIS IS SO DUMB WHY DO I GET SO UTTERLY SAD SO QUICKLY

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There's feeling sad, and then there's that even worse feeling of when something you try to do to cheer up ends up making you feel way worse. I guess it's just a bit of a letdown of expectations of happiness

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" She’s gonna save me, call me baby, run her hands through my hair. She’ll know me crazy, soothe me daily, better yet she wouldn’t care. We’ll steal her Lexus, be detectives, run ‘round picking up clues. We’ll name our children Jackie and Wilson, raise ‘em on rhythm and blues. “