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Im sorry And I love you
Im sorry for the lies in told you..yet there are so many more that are present that are not true..i never lied about how i felt..ever..I loved you then and now.
you are my best and greatest love..you are gorgeous and imaculate with beauty..i always enjoyed our time together ..and when you spoke about your day i was always listening and looking foward to it..i was quiet becasue i had done nothing with my day and there was no reason to bore you ..i was never tired nor annoyed with your conversation,,EVER,,i love talking with you ..sorry..
sorry if i made you fel like you were not loved or less loved than before ..i was just loosing myself and didnt realize it'
im glad you left initially..it took guts and i know it was hard,,especially for me..but babe remember ther is a way to do things in life...that was a way not to ..just remmember and learn..you affect peoples lifes..we were lovers,,and till this day we are speaking though a technical device..im generation X..you a millenial...different..i dont like this ...but i did it for you ...i realize now i should of done more for you..babe remember it was the chemicals ..never you....never ...i love you now then and tomorrow ..dont feel bad..i dont ...do what you must..but remember babe ..dont expect honesty if you cant produce it yourself...I will never forget you ...ever..i look for you everywhere ..you know that ..maybe insecure..but i always knew you were not telling me somthing ..i was Right ..so grow and fly and be the best women/person you can be...and remember ..i will always be righ there with you ...ALWAYS....I never left..I Love you babe ..and give her my best regards..tell her i had to go...BYE BABE..I LOVE YOU
your man...your lover ..your soulmate ' DAVIDRAY Q. VELEZ PS....I love you and will miss you xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxxoxo
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Me and you
.okay babe i always knew that was something you were not telling me..i always knew ..and also i was so hurt by that time you lied to me about being at one place then when i go to the "place " to go pick up some money ..i see you pulling out ..i was really hurt ..i was also really hurt the day i went to your work and you were not there ..after a while you got smart and figured a way.. now that i think about it..you knew i was on my way before i did...shows your postion ...and about that ..i never thought anything bad..nor do i now..thats your choice and i would of stayed regardless of what it was or who you were ..you know ..Male or female..this or that ??..you get the point..i dont care about peoples situations..i would of taken it on like my own and fought it and dealt with it as if was my own...that is what lovers do...
I always knew you were special ..there was somthing nin those eyes ..i just wish we could of had some intellectual conversations ..im not boring .. i guess at the beggining i saw you as a guy that worked at MK and just thought about clothes and gay stuff,,,,,,,,.....wow ..you are one of the first persons that has slipped past me ..but im glad it was you..always you
i love you ..i didnt at first ..i didnt ..when i looked at you ..i said i dont think i can picture myself with this man for the rest of my life..i didnt ..but that changed ...oh my God did it change....i want to marry you and fall asleep with you every night ..wake up to you every morning ..come home to you every day..cook with you..fuck you ..taste you..eat you from your neck down your back to your ass cheeks into your opening and beyond..suck on your thick sexy legs until i can no longer hold my breathe..and EXPLODE on us both sending us into exchanging those faces..(fuck faces) but the look of content..the look of happiness and comfort of being the only one who will forever have the honor of doing so..i always wanted just you..im a man with hormones but for so long i only indulged in you...more than you think my love ...I LOVE YOU..being with younis true heaven ..in and out of the bedroom...so sexy and yet ..you have no idea..you were always good enough ..good enough for me ..any King or President ...or blue collar man..you are smart and sexy and equiped to handle any man or situatuion life is gonna throw at you
I have to mention "HER"..I dont know her so i will be brief..I have yetvto meet her and at this point with the ..LACK of communication..i will never have the pleasure ..i dont think she likes me..probably because i was mean to Angel..when i was high i shook him one time ..well actuallyn twice ..and one time i heard someone pick up his phone and ,,well i wish they really had silenced it..we all make mistakes..and when he came home i asked to see the phone ..was told no..grabbed him placed my finger in his mouth and began to pull cutting nhis inner gums..and bruising his arm..never have in struck him..but that was still uncalled for..never have i had any chemical pronblem and my love got the beginning and end ..well not the end.this is the end.promises,hard to keep.i broke those ones..im sorry babe ,,i tried .it has my soul..thank you for sticking around as long as you did.noone can jude the timeline..we as humans are all different..just because i stuck around dosent mean you have to..i just wish you would of stuck around aliitle longer...i really needed you..you deserted me..i know why now..you were discovering yourself ..you are a women...it just hurt hoiw yountookm off..weeks i called and nothing ..only to find out you were planning a life with another..i know i became an ASSHOLE..but never the monster you created in the minds of yourn friends and in your literature...we both did demonic acts towards eachother .......but babe ..i was in a haze..what was up with you??
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What i did tell you
I always told you that i loved your smile and i did?/do..you smiled at me with a genuine smile..especially at our first Valintines dinner..i remember it so clearly..i cant recall what i said ..but youn were always smilling at me..it was real...biut after a while instopped seeing it ..maybe you were giving it to another man or maybe it was the drugs ...i just that at one time i had the smile and then one day it was gone...but what i didnt kjnow is that you had=nt smiled in along time before that..so for that i will alwyas be grateful .. i made you smile.Im the man that brought you your happiness back..thank you babe for telling me that ..i appreciate it ...so yes one of my favorite things about Angel Erik Quinones..was his smile.
Those Brown Eyes ...ive always loved those beautiful brown eyes..they look like iced tea on a hot Phoenix summer day..i dont know if youn know but i love iced tea...they are the light Mexican brown ..that sexy chicano brown light eyes..you dont get that too often and you have to give credit where credit is due...you haVE THE SEXIST eyes ive ever seen
your face ..babe your face..you are the most handsome man ive ever laid my eyes on..no bullshit babe ..your face is so well put togehter ..your sexy lips that i love to kiss every time i got..the nose perfecly placed and the eyebrows...and then the eyes..im a bit of a looks guy and you have them all.
I aqlwya asked if you ok?...yes i know it was annoying but babe thats how i ask ..thats how i care ...just know if and when i asked that it was because ....because i really wanted to know..we talked so much and youn were always the talking type i fugured if you had a prob;lem younwould tell me...i know now that i shpould of placed my hand on your chin made youn look at me and ask .."babe ..tell ,me ..talk to me"..and i did say talk to me babe a lot..and we did talk a lot ..bit i guess we left out a few major conversations...baby why didnt you tell me how youn felt..i was your man ..you should of told me ...but i didnt tell you about me..but babe you knew..you went inside of me once...remember ?..hoipe i didnt turn you off..but i think i did..now youn refer to me as Poopy and schrony and bottom and moody and there is so many more...just know that youy posting that stuff and making fun of me ...really hurt my feelings...i expect that from an enemy ..not from the love of my life..not my partner..not my squeeze..not my man...not Angel..but then again its a thin line between love and hate ..and you are where you are...i love you...and will love you alwyas ..just know that when you laugh at the one you are with..the ones you laugh with ..are also laughing at YOU..
my love for you was differfent ..it was great ..it wqsnt like my first..it was better..i saw youn as innocent and pure,,unlike my friends and famnily ..who knew .....thats how i saw you ...i wanted to hold you and take care of you...in the end i failed ..my biggest regret ..i would die for you 100 times ..and ,,well youn know the rest..I love you
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What I Told you
i always told you about my family..and i realy donbt discuss that ..i told you how they treated me..which for the most party was ok..but by the time my dad lefty i had become the little big brother.Ralph was never around for the verbal abuse from Ralph Sr,..i had the pleasure of hearing things like.."well find someone that will make you cum" and "youyr a fucking bitch"..sorry babe now you knw where i get it from..i heard the pushing against the bathroom walls before and after happy hour..alcohol always played a factor in lour lives somehow..my dads side was very into drinking but yet still maintained a structured life as copper minners...my moms side was your typical "Paisa" family from Mexico via Los Angeles California..heroin dealers and baby sellers.dont get me wrong they only stole babies that were starving and the parents were too proud to let go..
I wasnt a gangster babe ..meaning a cholo waking around with dickies and ben davis clothing..well maybe foe A QUCIK MIN..lol..i did a lot of bad things and my looks helped me out a lot..i guess i looked lioke a staright G..but inside i was a nervous guy who paced himself before he walked and talked ,,;paid attention to his hand gestures before and all that shit..and Yes i was ALWAYS THE ONE TO REACT FIRST when any problems came about ...with family my mother and her boyfriends ..doint get me wrong i nhad older cousins i learned from but as i got older ,,well they seemed to to follow me..it was wierd..i know npow you may not think so and im sure it probably dont seem like it and thats ok..i know whom iam and what ive done..,and you are right i have nothing to prove..but with all that i gained a complex..i wasnt able to fully relax as a person..as an individual..and thats hard ...the whole time i thought people knew i nwas gay ...but most didnt...i remember thinking that tje sky was gonna fall down if anyone found out..and in reality babe nobody cares ..so i know hown you feel about your little secret ...GOSH babe thatmust gave been so hard..I feel you..
i was never sexually abused but three times i could have been..i wqas always smart enough to avoid and remove myself from the situation..i knew the way the world worked at a young agr..one parent who was an ASU alumni and another one from the projects in centralPhoenix..so no babe npo medical school..but what i chose pertained more to my sexuality ..it was always based oin that..isnt that silly ...but when you are young and gay and alone ..what other options do you have .
I did try out for one commercial for Peter Pipers and went through two cuts and was ultimalty out...there is my big lie..Ralphie did do wallace and Ladmo and i tried out years later in Scottsdale made tge first and second but when i was chosen to go to Chicago it cost 500 and we couldnt afford it AT THE TIME ...NEVER TOLD ANYONE THAT...XOXOX..
OTHER THAN THAT LITTLE LEAUGE MOVIES at christown and a lot of tv and movie watching ..Freddy Kruger and Michael Myers were the top picks..
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#Always Love You babe # Im still the one #dont forget me # xoxoxo
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