takeurhappypills

[takeurhappypills]

I don’t wanna try anymore, i’m too tired to fight, to tired to survive.

[takeurhappypills]

You want to help me but can’t.

your just as lost as me

fuck this shit sadness just over rides me.

what’s the point of breathing anyway?

[takeurhappypills]

why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why me?

[takeurhappypills]

shit. does everyone now think love is just sex and booze?

if love is dead i’m already gone.

[takeurhappypills]

I don’t know if I can stay.

[takeurhappypills]

i don’t know what the point in fighting anymore is, i just want to stop being me, shits to hard i’m too weak fuck this shit

all i do is carve shit into my skin and try not to smash my head in a wall.

fuck shits to heavy

[takeurhappypills]

not a sound.

[takeurhappypills]

Why does everyone leave?

Or Choose drugs over me, why does nobody hear me when I'm screaming, is it that I'm that bad to be around? Is it to hard to deal with me? Or is it simply becuase I am not Good enough. Why can't I be accepted? Why can't other people accept that, I will never be better, I will never go back to how I was

I ask people who use why they could self destruct so much. But I'm such a hypeacrite becuase well littrally all I do is self destruct, I'm just fading away slowly, and your all watching.

[takeurhappypills]

Why am I always picked second?

And thrown away first.

I'm just not good enough for anyone

[takeurhappypills]

And I cant breath again.

[takeurhappypills]

why do people think it’s cool to be apart of a “ghetto” group or they wanna surround them selfs with people who doin drugs and illegal shit? like that shit isn’t for kids.. you don’t wanna be apart of that.. you can do so much better for yourself.

when I was 13/14

I got mixed in with the wrong crowd, I was this shy tiny girl who eventually got turned into the punching bag of the group, like i would get hit and tossed around, told what to do, my shit would get stolen, id have to take on some hardcore verbal abuse, like i was extremely bullied by these people, and not only that but at that age I was witnessing some robbing, vandalism, and i was told these brutal stories about assaults, and i had responsibility on me that no kid could handle, like my best friend at the time was addicted to drugs, started off with smaller shit like weed then it moved on to bigger things, she was also dealing with depression and self harm, like all this shit i didn’t know how to handle, she sent me pics of her badly harming herself which really fucked w/ my head and stuck with me. and all tho she got help I really did lose her to drugs n shit dawg.

I didn’t want this for myself, and my family tried as hard as they could to break me out of this toxic group, especially with one person in particular who i had feelings for who really used me and abused me. i reached out to my school, like everyone i could, but when your stuck in the wrong crowd it takes a lot to to get out of it.

i’ve been stalked, hit, had a knifes pulled out on me, delt with assaults, lost many friends and family from drugs, meth n shit, seen loved ones get jail time, had people take pills and try to “kill them selfs” in front of me, as a child stopt many people from doing that, and have been blackmailed.

and now after escaping, i know what positive people look like, i know what being “tough” is really about, it’s about getting thru shit and pushing past it, you don’t have to b in a group like that to b “tough” don’t choose that life for yourself, i was very lucky to escape that path and that group, cause most people don’t. and although i’m still dealing with a lot of trauma, i can tell you the better path is with a crowd that’s positive, and helps you b a better you. so please put the act away, and surround yourself with a better future for you.

[takeurhappypills]

fuck yo my parents are home this long weekend and probably gonna make me eat, i have legit worked myself sick with not eating, i can’t let it all slip away for nothing this weekend.

i don’t wanna do this fuck i can’t do this i’m going to freak tf out

[takeurhappypills]

shit dawg, i’ve learned this shit the hard way.

don’t let anyone fuck w/ your head like that especially if shits already messy up there 🙄

I've been disrespected so many times, fuck trust ppl are fucked

[takeurhappypills]

my eyes are always swollen from crying and i don’t even have anything to cry over

[takeurhappypills]

fuck this shit i ain’t faking anymore i’m so sick of smiling when relity is i’m burning my self or cutting ball deep in my skin

it’s hard to fake good shit when all you can think about is the bad shit, i’m done acting i fucking quit,

i need some fucking help i’m so sick of hurting myself like this i gotta just say fuck it and open up to my therapist.

[takeurhappypills]

my therapist tells me that things are gonna get better

but ion know if i wanna get better, i keep fighting bC i wanna see how much control i can take of my body, i look like a piece of fucking shit i’m littrally disgusting yo,

i wanna see if i can get my collarbones out more and i wanna see if i can go down sizes, yeah ik it’s my illness but my illness has really taken over and become apart of who i am.

[takeurhappypills]

lmfao welcome

to my fucked up thoughts/head idek i barley have enough modavation to write this yo,

this blog gonna consist of more negitve shit bc i’m in a really negitve space rn , if i post somethin triggering let me know, or if you find most of my shit triggering unfollow me 🤟

i’m not pro anything or tryna romatize or spreyed hate on anything, man fuck that shit.

i just created to see who can relate i guess, and if i’m alone or not

ikr corny asf 👌