#youre not funny or empathetic youre just angry because you feel like shit too
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separatismor · 11 months ago
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What fucking idiot thinks making a woman feel shame for being indoctrinated into the patriarchal way of thinking and subsequently falling for the propaganda is a good idea??? How 'willingly' can a woman walk into a relationship with a moron of a human (a moid) when she is completely brainwashed by society? Dgmw I agree with what her point is, but wtaf??
Why is it so much easier to hate the woman, but not the society that made her who she is?
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intheholler · 4 months ago
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Do you have any tips for being more comfortable using your natural accent in front of people? I was bullied for it as a kid and scrubbed my accent away through teenhood. As an adult, I feel like I still have to put on a neutral accent so people at work won't judge me. I told one of my old bosses that I was from Appalachia and he went on about how he'd seen do many documentaries on Appalachia and what good people we were, but also added that "Wow! I never would have known. You don't have an accent at all. You're so well-spoken!" and it felt bad. I think he had good intentions, but it made me feel like a zoo animal. I always see comments on other Appalachian folks' posts about their accents too, and there's always a handful of jerks who have to say something about their intelligence or make an incest or drug addict "joke".
It all hurts a lot and makes me self-conscious, but I don't want to be this way around my friends. Do you know how I can stop letting peoples' ignorance and classism get to me? Worrying about how I pronounce words or if I'm using region-specific slang all the time is so exhausting.
hi there <3 this is a topic near n dear to my heart because i spent so much of my life trying to avoid sounding appalachian, and the last few years of it desperate to sound so aggressively appalachian that yankees can't understand me, lmao.
that is all to say: this is gonna be long as usual.
first: class solidarity, family <3 this stuff really sucks.
what inspired me to push past the discomfort of using my natural accent after a lifetime of getting rid of it was actually along the lines of what you mentioned: people being shocked that i could be from appalachia, and be articulate at the same time. there are so many nasty, hurtful implications there.
i hate to say it, but there's no easy answer to this.
something in me just… snapped one day about ten years back. i started to look inward, and i discovered this overwhelming pride and passion and love for my home that i had denied myself my whole life, out of fear over how it made me look.
i started doing the self-work and digging deeper into that. it wasn't comfortable, but once i embraced appalachia, i wanted to defend her. the best way to do that for me was to be loud. my pride in where im from outweighed the rest.
maybe you should start there, too. look inward, break down your own subconscious biases about yourself and about our home. find out why you have been made to think this way.
work on loving the appalachian parts of yourself. GET. FUCKING. ANGRY. at those who poisoned your mind with this shit, and use that fury to work on dismantling the beliefs they imposed upon you.
because why shouldn't we talk like our mamas just because some asshole thinks its funny? why should we give up ties to our community and culture, just to be respected? why should every blessed conversation be emotionally and physically taxing just to make a classist more comfortable?
it isn't my shame to carry, and it isn't yours. it is their shame, and their self-work to do. it is not our responsibility to coddle their ignorance. that is on them.
now, when someone hears me talk, it causes a sort of dissonance that they then have to wrestle with. it shifts the discomfort and emotional labor away from me, and puts it on to them instead.
every time i speak proudly, they have to confront themselves and their biases, and how it harms someone that they respect--you.
and if they aren't the kind of person empathetic enough to do that, literally who gives a shit what someone like that thinks about you.
turn those 'jokes' they make about it right back on them:
why is drug addiction funny? why is incest and sexual assault of children funny? why are underfunded schools and a failure to give children across the nation a fair and equal education something to laugh about?
framing it in my mind that i was taking back control in conversations this way helped me speak more comfortably. it made me feel empowered.
i think of it like this: by speaking in my dialect and embodying positive and "unexpected" traits from the region (leftist politics, anti-racism, things like that), i reclaim my power. i use that power to slowly shift the opinions of appalachia with the people i interact with.
it was scary, and it's still scary. but by making a conscious decision every day to speak in our dialect and be courageous even when it's hard, we are reclaiming the parts of ourselves that they took from us. we are bettering the image of the region we love so dearly.
it is INCREDIBLY empowering now to settle into my accent. but it took a LOT of self-work, courage and self-respect to be able to do it.
it ain't easy. i do still struggle with it; i catch myself code switching all the time. i don't think you or me or any of us trying to reclaim our accents will ever fully escape the weight of the classism that dictated our manner of speaking for a huge chunk of our lives, unfortunately.
but if you do that difficult work, it is so, so liberating, family.
you can do it. talk to yourself when you're home alone. let the accent get comfortable again on your tongue. start there, then let that beautiful dialect out for the world to hear <3
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weregreatatcrime · 1 year ago
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I'm sick and rereading Two Halves and I know I leave a lot (A LOT) of stuff in the end notes but there's actually lots of stuff I still never mention or talk about so here's a long sick (no longer at 4am) ramble about things I didn't get the chance to talk about but wanted to (in somewhat of an order reminded by rereading) or at least just some lines I particularly enjoyed
On to Chapter 4
"Feelings, plans, goals, even injuries are just tools to manipulate for your own benefit. Karai is not afraid to use her own pain as a tool." This is part of the chapter summary, not in the actual fic, but I still love it for how great it points out how little Karai cares about herself beyond basic survival
Karai didn't PLAN on coming across the turtles today so she was all for 4v1ing them until they provided prime manipulation fodder
It's funny to me that Leo understands Karai's loyalty to Shredder despite his crappy morals more than Raph, who is THE most loyal to the family. Then again Raph puts his family on a different level than anyone else too
I think this is where I made Raph’s favorite word "bastard" without meaning to hsvdhwgf
Karai was intentionally letting them see clues about her injury, but Mikey was the one who noticed first, yes to that one reviewer, as he is the most empathetic of the lot. He also made Several leaps in logic to get to the Shredder hurting her, but he hit the nail on the head. In all honesty even if she HAD been hiding it, it's possible Mikey might've sussed her out anyways
Karai is so twitchy (stabby) being the center of attention like this and Leo notices so makes everyone back off hfsvhfhe
I literally spent paragraphs in fic with Donnie and Mikey talking about the extent of her injury, I REALLY don't need to ramble about it here too, but lord am I tempted. I'm a huge medical and anatomy nerd if my constant First Aid rants in he end notes hasn't clued yall in yet lol
Karai acknowledged Leo saying nobody would do this to someone they cared about. She does in fact agree, because the only person she cares about here is Miwa. But she doesn't honestly believe that's normal (and tbh, it's not, their connection makes her kind of utterly obsessed) so she doesn't wanna talk about what humans consider caring about each other
The running joke of Donnie giving Karai ice packs, whether he knows it's her or not
The small funny of them all looking away when she pulls her suit off the shoulder, because Splinter raised some fucking gentlemen, even if he never expected his boys to ever actually meet girls before.
Karai’s angry rant was triggered by being called Miwa, but was shut down when she almost said something about her cover. She came reeeeal close to saying some shit that could've gotten her killed for revealing
"All it would take was one soft gooey lie and he would lead the worst of enemies right into his home." <- shout out to Canon where he did just that lol
Karai stocked the place with a lot of basic supplies, including real food (or at least, frozen and non-perishables) but Stockman doesn't know or care to know how to cook so. Lots of it ended up either going to waste or Karai ate it. Stockman watched her eat bags of frozen solid food and nearly vomited, especially when she ate raw chicken that was still frozen in the package. It's crunchy!
Karai sad she didn't keep the chemical ice pack because she could've eaten it later
A LOT of Karai’s thoughts actually revolve around food, tbh. She survived a long time on the knifes edge of starvation. She is Always thinking of food
Stockman, while scared of Karai, isn't afraid of her *presence* so he lost all formality with her after he saw her chewing on a broken phone casing like it was a chocolate bar. He's pretty irreverent with her, unless she's actively intimidating, in which case he obligingly shows that yes, he's still very very scared of you Karai, don't worry!
This is peak changeling behavior. She has accidentally gotten him into using changeling behavioral tactics. Holy fuck
I totally just "Yes, and" my whole way through Stockman’s tech and I'm glad it apparently sold well
Stockman trying very hard not to scream when Karai keeps literally mauling herself in front of him. He did not sign up for this. What the fuck
Karai actually DID make a major miscalculation here. She's never been injured for very long. If she was in changeling form, her changeling trainers had someone magically skilled on staff to heal her. If she was in human form, she had the best doctors (and again, healers, to subtly boost her healing to get her back in shape so she didn't go mad from being stuck in one form) She was NOT prepared for the magical ramifications of shapeshifting with a decent injury
Unstated but I think the way she triggers her transformed is she reaches out towards Miwa and it feels like wrapping herself in a "hug"
Karai considers any cost to herself worth it to get Miwa back. Don't worry, that'll get fixed eventually (mostly)
I love making a running gag of Karai fucking with Leo's vision, even if it's on accident. This time was very on purpose lol
I winced writing Raph hitting her. Not because her shoulder or because she slammed into a wall, but because he kicked her in the chest, and chest armor or no, tit hits are awful. Splinter has not had reason to teach them that that's a "dirty move" on women, yet
Raph: *feeling guilty for hurting her injuries worse*
Karai: don't fucking look at me like I'm WEAK
(At least one or two of her soldiers were DEFINITELY killed for "letting her" be so injured, to Karai’s complete annoyance)
Changeling Karai is a lot more "respectful soldier" than Canon Karai, which does please Shredder greatly. She thinks this is normal. Honey...
Shredder used to be very obsessed with making sure Karai didn't "ruin" her mother's beauty with scars, so any wounds she got, were very carefully tended to to minimize scarring or pain. This is definitely weird creepy projecting he did thinking of her more as an extension of Tang Shen than actual concern. Now he's just too bonkers to care
I found a typo hdvdjwgfje something autocorrected "contrite expression" to "contrite excision" and I'm mad about it shfvshdg
The people around her serving as caretakers are very aware that Shredder isn't doing a good job at being a father, whop. But they're too scared of Karai and her twitchy (stabby) ways to try and fill any of that gap
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reviviscencegruiform · 2 years ago
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This just happened to me so I thought I'd ask you,
If you were dating a girl and she was having some self-esteem issues and she asked you if she could book an appointment with a professional photographer to get some boudoir shots done... Would you let her or would you say no and accuse her of wanting to send the pictures to someone besides you?
First off, hi, hello, howdy. It's funny to me you'd assume I'm capable of forming a committed romantic relationship being who and what I am, but it's also very flattering so thank you very much. That's a nice little ego boost.
To that point,
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I really did have to sit and think about this one. Getting over the hump of disbelief that a seemingly normalish woman would consider letting me court her to this point was the tallest hill to climb here, but I managed it and even though it took me all day, I have your answer.
Let's start with being very honest. I would automatically be very defensive because don't I make you feel pretty? Don't I tell you 24/7 that that I am absolutely flabbergasted as to why you are with me constantly? Where have I failed? Where have I fallen short? Why don't you believe me? Why are you with me if you think I'm just fucking with you about this? Do I, of all people, come across as the kind of man who would just pander to you about the sheer unrelenting horror that is my attraction to you and the vulnerability it makes me feel?
And then I realize that it isn't about me.
I don't make you feel unattractive. You make you feel unattractive and I can recognize it because I do the samething to myself and it would break my heart to the very foundation of my being that you knew what that felt like.
Life makes you feel unattractive because you don't look like what's in the billboards or on the magazines. I'm a victim of that too. You don't look like what's on TV so you don't feel attractive because nobody can stand up to the propaganda we are subjected to every day and it has not that I have failed you it is that we as people, as just empathetic human beings, have failed one another and put corporations and greed over our own wellbeing for so long we see it as a personal failure rather than a societal ill when our loved ones find fault in the faultless parts of themselves. And we have failed to raise our children to be better than that. Instead we've raised them cruel and judgemental to those that don't fit the mold even when they themselves don't fit it.
And then I would feel very guilty.
I would have gotten angry and I would have gotten defensive and I might have even said something to you that was completely uncalled for it so I apologize for that here, imaginary girlfriend. I'm still learning and unlearning.
So I would absolutely say you should go get your photoshoot, but be very careful about what you pick out to wear. I wouldn't be saying that as a possessive thing, I would be saying that because whatever you put on, I'm going to put on.
We're going to double book.
So you are getting your photos done and so am I. We're gonna have an entire roll of film to each of us and some as a couple. So many pictures this photographer is going to make bank on our dumb little asses and once you have picked out the pictures that make you feel the most beautiful, we are going to take those same pictures of me, in the same pose and the same outfit, and we're gonna post them online for everybody to see.
You will be so fucking hot in comparison to me that you will become a sensation online. Your ex's will mourn the loss of you. Your bullies will feel pants shitting regret because now they can't have you for themselves.
You will look like the goddess you deserve to look like and feel like the goddess you deserve to feel like and I will look like a cockroach in a bubblegum wrapper, but I would have made you laugh and I will have never have been happier because you are happy and smiling and that is all I have wanted since we met.
We will hang that picture above our bed and we will remember that we are beautiful every night and every morning.
And also probably that I can't pull off spandex, but that's ok.
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pacifymebby · 1 year ago
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what's it like working in care? I need the money so I've been looking into it for a while. Do you enjoy it? How many days/hours a week do you typically work?
I mean its a tricky one because (idk what country youre in but) in the uk the pay is shite, however like if u need a job and u need money, you can get a job in care pretty easily if u know like, the buzzwords for interview and u can show that ur capable of empathy haha, and then once u have the job you will definitely be guaranteed hours.
I do 30+ hrs a week, and i pick up relief hours at other homes too sometimes, its a really understaffed underfunded sector in the uk so there's always places desperate for staff.
However, its a really understaffed and underfunded sector which means the job can be really draining and you quite often feel like ur giving more than u get. Working in care is the main reason im such an angry commie about everything, like, you really see where the government is failing a huge number of people (both workers and those who rely on care) so it can be very tiring and you high pressure.
HOWEVER
Its also the most fullfilling of all the minimum wage jobs. As someone who has worked in care/supermarkets/cafes/bars, i would never go back to any of those other places. You have v high job satisfaction on a good day because youre interacting with these cool people, like, old people are neat they say cool funny things have stories they wanna tell and theyre just straight up sweet (and even when theyre not and theyre grumpy or square goin yous the situations make good/funny memories after the fact) and also so much of the time the peopke youre working with appreciate you and its a positive two way engagement if that makes sense?
Like in hospitality generally youre faking a smile to be a good employee and the person ur serving isnt even bothering to fake a smile. And 90% of the time u are just serving and waiting on people who dont acknowledge or appreciate you and its literally just a chore etc.
But in care you're building actual bonds with the people you support, theyre happy to see you (most of the time haha) and you genuinely feel good about what you're doing. Ive got some amazing memories of people i met working in care, like just some of the coolest people. And also some of the things im most proud of having achieved too, like, i have a whole degree behind me but the thing im more proud of is that I once taught a young lad with learning disabilities and v v low self esteem, to like sing a song and be happy and confident doing it and he would sing it and do a wee dance and like that was such a big achievement for him and knowing i helped him achieve it is like, wow, cool. Idk if that makes sense?
And i think that like, if youre an empathetic person, and you're also like, able to go with the flow and just sorta roll with whatever weird shit you see then care is a really good job to do. Especially when it's like, you just need a job and your other options are stuff like bar work.
I think most care home jobs in nursing/dementia homes are generally the hardest, you often do a 12 hour shift maybe 3/4 days a week, its long and although "every day is different" its v much a solid routine of getting people up in the morning, washing/dressing/feeding etc, then 15 minute break, then like maybe 1hr of writing up notes and making teas and generally interacting with people, going and changing their positions in bed if they need help with that, answering call bells, personal care/pad changes etc. then getting people ready for lunch/feeding people, then u get your lunch, then you maybe do more notes and the same as in the morning, and then dinner and feeding people and then getting people washed and changed and into bed. And depending on training then youre doing medication rounds too. I didn't work in that kind of home for too long because the shifts were really long and exhausting.
HOWEVER see if you can find a "hospitality" job going in a care home, thats generally minimum wage and instead of doing all the personal care care work, youre maybe serving breakfasts for 2 hours in the morning, then doing a wee tea round for an hour, then knockin around in the dining room getting ready for lunch, then doing lunch, then another tea round, then prepping for dinner and going home. I used to love working that job because it was shorter days but still good hours AND you had so much time to spend interacting with the residents and being that person they could chat too and stuff. It was honestly really good and less stressful.
Also working in the mental health and learning disabilities side of care is really fullfilling too and i think people dont think about it so much when they think about working in care. But supported living homes are really great, theyre usually smaller, usually run by charities rather than evil private companies who are essentially making millions on providing low quality end of life care to people to the 10 years prior to their death (i really really hate private care, i think private care homes should be abolished and care should be brought fully into the NHS) (private care homes are literally a big drain on the NHS i think) (anyway sorry u didnt ask for that opinion haha)
But yeah the charities are always more person centered, more focussed on working with the people you support to live the lives they want to live and to be having a good and healthy time. My best experiences of care are almost all from my time working in supported living homes.
You could also look at drop in and respite places, usually if you just search "support worker" into indeed or a job search then these kind of rolls come up too, where you do day shifts in day centers where people can come to recieve a few hours of one to one support.
I worked the summer holidays at one of those places and my 8-10 hour shifts so often consisted of going to the cinema with kids, going to the park, going on an adventure playground, doing some painting, playing in a sandpit etc... It was obviously stressful at times and like definitely tiring but idk, working in a supermarket or a bar is stressful too and u dont get anywhere near the ammount of positive interaction and job satisfaction ya know?
If u do want to try and get a job in care feel free to message me and I'll help you with like, the kinds of things to include in your personal statement or cv/interview xxx
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dragondemoness · 2 years ago
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Hi there hope your having an amazing day or night May I request Sayaka,kaede,miu,Celestia,Kyoko and Sonia (sorry if it's a alot) with a fem reader that acts like karma akabane (I hope tumble didn't eat another of my request
I had to do my research for this one, so I hope it came out good
Sayaka, Kaede, Miu, Celeste, Kyoko and Sonia With An S/O Who's Like Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom)
Sayaka Maizono 
She was very nervous around you
You were very well known for your aggressive behavior, and that you even got suspended for it
But you were also described as "a lazy sort, but having a strong sense of mischief in your eyes"
But when she actually talked to you, you were surprisingly chill
You did appear mischievous, like they said, but you were also so relaxed
You were nicer than she thought, though she was on guard around you
Then she developed feelings and started dating you
There aren't too many problems in your relationship, but she really doesn't like your violent tendencies
Or how you can be mischievous and even manipulative at times
It makes her feel unsure about your relationship, so she'll need lots of reassurance from you
If you lie or try to trick her, she will not take it well
And she's not a fan of how you skip out on things you find boring, but as long as you're not beating anyone up, then it's tolerable
She's great at calming you down when you're feeling angry or aggressive
She'll patch up any wounds you get from a fight, while also scolding you like a mom
Especially if you did it because someone was talking shit about her
She appreciates the gesture, but please don't
She loves the kind and empathetic side of you, but doesn't like how violent you can be
You're a handful, but Sayaka loves you
Kaede Akamatsu 
She was also intimidated by you
She heard the rumors and tried to steer clear of you
But she actually got a good look at you, and you looked really chill
Maybe you weren't so bad as people said
But she was quickly proven wrong when someone gave you shit and you got pissed at them
But she could see that there was another side to you, and she wanted to get to know you
And she got to see the kind and respectful side of you
Of course, you still got aggressive sometimes
If you got in a fight with someone for talking shit about her, she wouldn't approve, but she'll thank you for thinking about her
She worries about your mischievous, sometimes manipulative nature, but as you don't lie to her, then you're good
She'll help you out after a fight, and play a soothing song on her piano to calm you down
Clair de Lune anyone?
Bit more chill than Sayaka, but she's just as serious about your relationship
Miu Iruma 
She heard the rumors and got curious
She kinda wanted to see how tough you were
But you were actually pretty chill when she talked to you
Very mildly disappointed
But then someone shouted an insult at you and you threw a nearby textbook at them
Miu laughed loudly and congratulated you
Both of you got sent to detention for disrupting class
She thinks you're really badass
If you get into fights in the hallway, she cheers you on
Then remembers that she's supposed to be responsible and stops you
Calls you a dumbass, but secretly finds it kind of funny
And lowkey thinks you're hot when you get pissed off
Unless you get pissed at her, then she'll act submissive and apologize for whatever she did
If you get in a fight because of her, she calls you a dumbass while secretly feeling warm inside
And if you lie or try to trick her, she will not be happy
She doesn't blame you for skipping out on boring stuff
Sometimes she does the same thing
For the most part, Miu doesn't care about your aggression or your mischief, as long as you don't direct any of it towards her
Celestia Ludenburg 
She didn't care about the rumors, or what you did to get suspended
She was curious about your mischief
She heard about how cunning you were, and she wanted to see it for herself
But what she found was a surprisingly chill, relaxed person
You may have looked relaxed, but she could see the mischief in your eyes
And she wanted to see it
She thought you were stupid for constantly getting into fights
Only a fool would resort to violence as a solution
But she saw the way you manipulated others, which to her was worthy of praise
Maybe you were smarter than she looked
Before you started dating, she wouldn't hesitate to tell you how stupid she thought you were
And she would be amused when you got angry at her
But now that you're dating, she's much gentler
She'll still tell you when you're being stupid, but not that you are stupid
She'll feel honored if you get in a fight over her
While she patches you up, she smiles and calls you her knight
She also skips things she finds boring (or in her terms, useless) so she can't really blame you for doing it
When you get angry, she'll make you some tea to help calm you down
Unless you get angry at her, then you'll have a serious problem
But in the end, Celeste doesn't really care about your aggression
As long as you're not hurting yourself, and as long as you're not taking it out on her
Kyoko Kirigiri 
She knew who you were from the get go
Her dad is the principal, so she's seen your student record
At some point, her dad asked her to talk to you, to "figure you out"
She thought there wasn't much else to figure out, but why not
You seemed relaxed and fairly chill when she spoke to you
She asked you a couple questions, and you answered them with confidence
Then she notices the mischief in your eyes, and wonders if you're lying
You're an interesting person, she'll give you that
She doesn't want you to cause problems for the others and get yourself suspended again, so she keeps you in check
If you're in a fight, she'll break it up immediately
Then she'll send you to the nurse, get to the bottom of it, and scold you if it was your fault
If you get in a fight because of her, she'll scold you, but thank you for thinking of her
If it's directed towards her, she can usually handle it pretty well
She'll just ask why you're angry and make you talk to her
But she doesn't like being lied to
She can always figure it out, and she doesn't care for it
So don't lie or try to manipulate her
Not only will it fail, but she will not be happy
She also doesn't like it if you lie to anyone else
Just don't do it, mkay?
In the end, Kyoko doesn't mind your aggression too much, as long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else
Sonia Nevermind
She was curious about you
She was curious about how people in a different country acted, and she hadn't met anyone like you before
She heard the rumors and felt a little intimidated, but she wanted to learn more
She thought you were really cool and pretty
You weren't as violent as many others said
Until you got pissed and threw your shoe at one of your classmates, which startled her, but she still found you to be fascinating 
She is very scared for you when you get into fights
She'll patch you up while fussing over you the whole time
And she usually can't tell when you're lying or trying to manipulate her
When she finds out, she's very upset
So don't do it
She doesn't want you doing that to anyone else, either
And please don't take your anger out on her
She will be very upset and apologetic
She also doesn't really like how violent you can be, but as long as nobody's hurt, then it's fine
Sonia finds you very fascinating, very cool and very attractive
She may not be a fan of your violent or manipulative behavior, but she still loves all of you
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jillianallen14 · 3 years ago
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Spirk fanfic rec
Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):
Entering Orbit:  Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words
Papers in the Roadside:  Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words
Take Refuge in What You Know:  AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words
Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.
Observations:  First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.
So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol. 
Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves:  The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words
Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.
 Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans:  The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words
Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one. 
The Ren shat’var Trilogy:  A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words
Textual Attraction:  Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words
SO GOOD. Just SO good
Spaceman:  Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words
Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.
Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words
Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one
All Spock Wants For Christmas:  While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words
And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol
The Morning After:  Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words
HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny. 
Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home):  In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words
Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.
Extracurricular Activities:   Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words
Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words
This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock. 
A Habitual Affection:  Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words
A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one. 
Atlas:  Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words
A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.
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fizzychocolatemilk · 3 years ago
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The Little Moments (Bakudeku Tropetember Drabble)
I'm back with another Tropetember drabble! This one side-tracked me when I was working on Belleza que Atrae, and it became WAY LONGER then I intended. For day 17: Accidental Baby Acquisition / (Single) Parent AU / Babysitting  AO3 link here.
The door creaked open as Katsuki came home and pulled off his work boots. He had a minute to feel the relief of finally being home when he heard the pitter-pattering of a child’s feet. He quickly turned and scooped up the tiny blonde as the little boy screamed, “Daddy! You’re home!”
Katsuki smiled into his son’s hair as he hugged him, “Yeah...I’m home, little man.” He carried the boy into the main room and paid the babysitter before cuddling his son on the couch for the few minutes they had before dinner.
Izumi sat on the counter as Katsuki made their meal. He smiled fondly as he listened to his son ramble about his day. Little moments like these made the hours that Katsuki pulled and the things he put up with worth it; it was all to make sure Izumi had a good life.
Izumi was chattering about his class when he mentioned something that caught Katsuki’s attention, “And this year, my teacher’s super cool and nice. Midoriya-sensei is really amazing!”
Katsuki loved his son, but he could easily admit that Izumi usually had a hard time getting along with his teachers. So naturally, Katsuki was insanely curious about what made “Midoriya-sensei” so different than the teachers his son had had before. “Midoriya-sensei, huh? What do you like so much about her, ‘Zumi?”
Izumi looked scandalized and he hit Katsuki with a couple of tiny fists before shouting, “Midoriya-sensei is a boy! Not a dumb girl!” Izumi looked angry for a second before turning his head away from Katsuki and grumbling, “Midoriya-sensei is kinda pretty like a girl though, like the nature spirit-y things in some of the stories you read me. Nie—Ni—Nim—What is it again, daddy?”
Katsuki chuckled, “I think you’re thinking of nymphs, son, but those are usually water spirits. The nature spirits are called dryads.”
Izumi’s eyes brightened and he nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah! Those! Midoriya-sensei looks like a dryad! Like he could turn into a tree, but in a pretty way! And he always makes sure that everyone is having a good day and understands his lessons! Usually teachers just don’t bother with the stupid kids and the mean-looking kids, but Midoriya-sensei makes sure that everyone is doing good! I’ve haven’t met anyone who doesn’t like him yet! He’s like a superhero!”
Katsuki nodded with a fond look across his face at his son’s enthusiasm. He turned off the heat on the stove and plated the food before picking his son up and setting him on his hip. Izumi was starting to get too big for it, but Katsuki didn’t work out for nothing. He would carry his son for as long as he was able and Izumi was willing.
“‘Zumi, I’m very glad you like your teacher this year.” He set Izumi in his chair and set a plate of food in front of him. Katsuki grabbed his own food and sat down across from his son before continuing, “But remember...don’t call your classmates stupid just because they have a hard time understanding what you’re learning. Some people learn and understand things differently, and that’s perfectly okay. Alright?”
Izumi nodded and slurped his noodles before smirking at Katsuki.
Katsuki smacked the hand that wasn’t holding his chopsticks with enough force that his son would feel it, but not enough that it would hurt or turn red. “I guess you really don’t want the mochi that I’ve got in the fridge, huh? Shame—I just made them last night and in your favorite flavor too,” Katsuki feigned nonchalance, but grinned inwardly as Izumi’s eyes widened and he shook his head empathetically.
“NO! I WANT MOCHI PLEASE!”
“Eat the rest of your food without slurping and I’ll think about it.” Katsuki smiled fondly into his chopsticks as he watched his son finish his food quickly but politely. Yeah—moments like these were Katsuki’s favorite.
.
.
.
Katsuki walked into his son’s classroom with all the purpose of a boat cutting through the water. In this case, however, Katsuki was his yearly mission to make sure Izumi wasn’t getting royally fucked over by his school. Neither Katsuki nor Izumi really enjoyed parent-teacher conferences, hence why Katsuki had left Izumi with a babysitter, but it was something they had to deal with and Katsuki would never pass up the opportunity of intimidating his son’s teachers...it was just too funny.
.
.
.
The only thing that kept Katsuki’s jaw from hanging open at the man sitting in front of him was the fact that he had prior knowledge of what he would look like. The only thing wrong with Izumi’s description of his sensei was the fact that Midoriya-san didn’t just look like a nature spirit—no, he looked like a whole-ass god.
Midoriya’s hair fell in shiny, green ringlets over his head, accenting his defined yet delicate features. His freckles were spattered over the bridge of his nose and along his cheeks in curious constellations that made Katsuki want to spend eons tracing them and counting Midoriya’s freckles like stars.
His eyes were green, but Katsuki thought the word green could never encompass the countless universes that Midoriya held in his eyes. They swirled with specks of gold, and highlights of lime, and depths of pine in almost black shadows, and they shone with the light of someone who was truly happy with what they were doing. They shone so brightly that Katsuki felt overwhelmed as those eyes looked, with their vast swirling universes, at him.
“Hello, Bakugou-san! I’m Midoriya Izuku, Izumi’s teacher. It’s lovely to meet you. Your son is such a delight to have in class! He’s very smart and helpful. Even though he’s a little gruff, he’s passionate and kind to his classmates. Such an amazing child you have!”
Katsuki smirked at the praise for his son, but his insides felt like they were melting from the warmth that Midoriya-san gave off.
Midoriya bit his lip, causing Katsuki’s brow to furrow, before speaking, “I’m sorry if this is rude, but I’m just a bit curious….usually mothers come to their child's conferences, you see, so...I was wondering….”
Katsuki sneered before replying to Midoriya’s gross attempt at making it a polite question, “Pardon my language—but my son’s shitty incubator was a bitch-ass whore. I regret fornicating with her, but I don’t regret Izumi. Never Izumi. So stop with the shit and let’s talk about my son, Deku.”
Midoriya had been staring bug-eyed at him while Katsuki was speaking, but he looked even more surprised at being called, “Deku? Maybe you misheard, but my name is Midoriya Izuku .”
“I don’t call rude assholes that insinuate that I’m a bad parent by their names, Deku ,” Katsuki smirked as he watched Deku’s jaw drop for a quick moment, but Katsuki was a little surprised when a flush rose on Deku’s cheeks and he gained a determined gleam in his eye.
“I apologize if  I insinuated anything, Kacchan , no excuse is a good one and it wasn’t my intention….I was just trying to be subtle.”
Katsuki had slammed his hands on the table at the word “Kacchan”, but now his brow furrowed in confusion, “Subtle about what, stupid Deku?”
If it was possible, Deku seemed to flush harder at this question, but Katsuki remained stead-fast and waited for an answer. Deku flustered for a second before the determined gleam came back and he answered, “I-I-I think you’re hot, okay?! Oh my goodness, this is so fucking unprofessional of me! I can’t date the parent of a student! But Bakugou-san is so fuckingbeatifulandprotectiveandkind—”
“Shut the hell up, dumbass Deku!” Katsuki was blushing furiously. The god-like green-eyed man thought he was attractive and dateable! Katsuki knew that he was sexy as fuck, but he hadn’t been on a date or even been interested in someone since before he had Izumi. Deku had been rude, but it didn’t seem like he meant it in a derogatory way like some teachers and parents that Katsuki had met before—and he was really pretty, so Katsuki paused for a second before speaking, “Tomorrow is Saturday. If you’re free, I’ll pick you up at 10 am. Now let’s talk about your class and my son. What sort of things will you be teaching this year?”
Deku’s jaw was hanging open as he stared wide-eyed at Katsuki, “Ummmm...I’m good with 10 tomorrow. Will Izumi be there?”
Katsuki scoffed, “Fucking obviously.” And their conference continued with no further talk of the date.
.
.
.
Katsuki held Izumi’s hand as he knocked on the door, but suddenly the boy tugged on his shirt and made the motion that meant he wanted to be picked up. Katsuki’s heart melted. It had been a while since his son had asked for uppies. As he was nuzzling the boy on his hip and Izumi was giggling, the door opened to reveal Deku. “Am I interrupting something?” Deku asked with a teasing smile.
And just like that, Katsuki’s heart had reformed and started beating at a frantic pace. Deku was wearing a pastel green and white plaid button-up over a white shirt that said “date shirt”, jeans that were loose enough for the physical activities that they would be doing today, and….red sneakers. He looked dorky as fuck, but somehow Deku was able to make the ensemble look adorable.
Katsuki smiled at the man and was about to greet him, but his son beat him to it. “MIDORIYA-SENSEI!?! Daddy didn’t say we were going to see you! HI!!!” Izumi was squirming to get down now, so Katsuki gently sat him on the ground so he could run and give Deku a hug.
Deku smiled fondly at Izumi, making Katsuki’s heart warm, before asking, “Well, what did your daddy say you were going to be doing?”
Izumi thought for a moment before turning back to Katsuki. “Daddy what are we doin’?”
Katsuki chuckled at his cute son before responding, “Your teacher and I are having a date, but since I’m taking him for a picnic in the park, I thought it would be fun if you could come too. We haven’t gone to the park in a while, have we, squirt?”
His son’s eyes had widened at the word “date”, but he seemed to forget the surprise in favor of being excited about going to the park. “PARK! Park! Park! Park! Let’s go now, daddy! What are we just standing around for?!?”
Katsuki looked to Deku, who had a wobbly smile on his face and a fond look in his eye, and held out a hand for him to take. Deku’s eyes widened a bit before he shot Katsuki in the heart with a shy smile and a pink blush. Deku grabbed his hand, and they made their way to Izumi, who was waiting at the end of the walkway and bouncing on his toes in anxious excitement.
Izumi eyed Katsuki and Deku’s clasped hands and held his hands out. Katsuki and Deku let go of each other at the same time, looked at each other in surprise before smiling, and simultaneously grabbed Izumi’s outstretched hands. As the trio began walking towards the park, Katsuki thought that this might be the start of something great.
That’s it! Hope you enjoyed! I think I only have three more drabbles to wrap up my tropetember series! See y’all soon!
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jangofctts · 4 years ago
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I don’t know about y’all but sometimes when I’m stressed out and overwhelmed I just need to find a quiet space and have a quick power. What’s the reaction from the Sunburst Boys finding you during a teary moment? 🍋
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I shALL TELL YOU beLOW thEE CUT (the power crying kwehrkehj gotta be efficient)
blanche: hm, he’s--idk it’s iffy with him, he’s like sorta like that "there there *pets with broom*” meme kejkjeh. like his initial reaction is to like offer you an escort to void’s office but then he feels bad hearing your little sniffles and decides to sit with you. tbh he’ll give you an awkward speech like those really bad ones that you’re forced to listen to in high school like “times can be bad...and right now? you’re sad. and that is valid. I too can be sad. in fact im sad 24/7″ like for some reason it works??? like he’s not trying to be funny but it makes you laugh anyway ekjrkeh. like this man is sO awkward sometimes. a bEasT on the field but not so much with human interaction
blue: very polite and asks you if you want privacy. if you ask him to stay he’ll happily provide anything he can manage. weather that’s cuddling, taking you out for some caf, just laying in the dark--whATEVER, he’s down to do it. he gives very good advice if you want! AN EXCELLENT hugger and will maybe turn on some music and make you dance with him. he can be a goofball and an overall sweetheart 
sweets: he wont really say anything but if you’re ok with it, he’ll sit with you and let you cry into his shoulder or let you cuddle him. he’ll play with you hair and let you vent all you want! you’re his favorite person and he’s sad that you’re sad! to make you feel better he might show you a little doodle he did or something he found in his pocket, or maybe take you on a walk. he has a calm/gentle presence and he likes that you find solace in it too
jaws: empathetic crier kjrkjewh. if you’re crying, he’s crying too, doesn't even matter if it’s over some spilled cheerios, he’s crying too kejrkeh. honestly like, he’s probably the best out of the squad to comfort you. like he’ll offer gentle advice if you want it or maybe tell you a really bad joke, yknow? he’ll wipe your tears away and give you kisses if it makes you smile again. he has a very tender heart so you matter very much to him and he wants to make sure EVERYTHING is ok  
kamikaze (kami): the literal vine of “why u sad? why u mad? when you could be GLADE” he tries to be funny with it at first but if that doesn't work he’s just “ah ShiT dAwG” and literally throws himself into your lap. avid believer that hugs solve everything and will simply lay on you. cant cry if youre being crushed kwejhe. he offers to take you on a ride around Coruscant in a nifty speeder he “borrows” from the base or a spacecraft and show you something cool like a neat park or nebula. sure h might get in trouble for it but hey, he doesn't mind if it makes you feel better   
fuse: turns right around--im so sorry but this boy is sO bad with emotions other than horny, angry, and hungry (and secretly sad sometimes but that’s a secret shh kwehkjh). once he realizes it’s you who’s crying he’ll maybe turn back around and ask if you’re ok...but like, he’s not the best person to cry on. he might sit with you and show you stupid holovids to cheer you up but yeah im very sorry but he’s not great with tears 
bruiser: he’s awkward too but not for the same reasons as fuse. like he gets very worried!! but he’s not super good with comforting words. like he’ll hug you and ask if there’s anything he can do for you (or sever someone’s spine if that was the reason wejkehr) he thinks you should alWAYS be happy because you deserve so much and it breaks his heart to see you like this. he’ll be more than happy to take you to his favorite restaurant for shakes and fries and if thAT doesn't work, he’s ok with you just crying into his blacks  
void: honestly like he’ll be a little mean at first like he’ll just look at you crying, nod and say “yeah same”. bUT THEN HE’LL GET CONCERNED, he’ll get all motherly and fuss about how you’re gonna make your nose all chapped from rubbing it so much or how puffy your cheeks will get. he’ll have tissues to wipe away your tears and get you looking presentable before escorting you to a private area, usually his little office. he has candy there and ONE nice seat he lets you sit on. if you want, he’ll listen to you vent but if you just wanna cry he’s cool with that too. he lets you hang there for as long as you like and maYbe give you an extra blanket if you ask nicely (and maybe some tea/coco)
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cabinofimagines · 4 years ago
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Piper Mclean ABC’s
a/n ; yet again i have forgotten to post. this is my last though so whoopie no more scheduled inspiration.
pairing ; piper x gn!reader
wc ; 1,613
request ; nah, but we’re getting to the other dw pls shits alphabetical 
- day
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Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
She loves loves loves going on hikes or walks with you. Finding old playgrounds or cool monuments makes her feel like she’s adventuring with you. 
Beauty - What do the admirer s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
You’re so considerate of everyone around you, even if you aren’t aware of it. She thinks it’s incredibly beautiful how kind you are to everyone, but knows that she’ll have to keep an eye out for people who try to take advantage of that.
Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
Piper is the type to sit with you quietly when you’re having a down day. She might bring you some snacks and cuddle with you, but understands that some days are just like this. She’s similar with attacks, but usually tries to distract you with your surroundings like “Pick out 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can smell…” and so on.
Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
Piper wants to travel the world with you, trying new things and having new experiences with you. She fully plans to spend the rest of her life adventuring with you and if you have siblings that have kids, she plans on being the cool auntie that brings trinkets back.
Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
It’s fairly equal, but she likes to mess around a lot. If she walks in on you changing, she’ll tease the shit out of you for it and make the embarrassment last a whole day.
Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
Piper can be petty ngl, if she gets angry she might make it obvious. Kinda how kids do things to show their parents they’re angry like angrily sweeping while glaring or something. But she’ll get pouty if you laugh at her antics and the issue will be resolved soon after.
Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
She has this cute habit of saying thank you when you do the smallest things. You could give her a glass of water and she’ll go “:3 thank youuuu”. There is almost never a moment where you feel underappreciated for anything you do.
Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
There isn’t a lot that she doesn’t share, but just like in The Lost Hero, if there is something huge bothering her or if there is a potential threat, she will struggle alone. It kills her to hide something from you, but when it comes to light, she nearly breaks down in tears as she gushes out everything she withheld.
Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helping them overcome personal problems?
She’s still working on bits of herself, but it's not drastic changes. She may have a tendency to fall back on her bad habits, but when you scold her for it, she makes a mental note to do better.
Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
Piper hates to admit it, but she gets jealous just like everyone else. It was more prominent when you two weren’t dating, but it still happens even as you begin dating. It isn’t major, but you’ll know when she feels as if someone is catching your attention or vice versa. 
Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
it’s unfair, but being a daughter of Aphrodite makes her good at all forms of love and affection. Her kisses are absolutely intoxicating and you feel drunk after each one. Even a short peck has you in a daze.
Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
You two were up late because Leo wanted to show Piper his new invention and you were already on your way to visit him to make sure he wasn’t forgetting to care for himself again. The late hour impaired your decision making abilities and you just… went for it. So you two ended up kissing in Bunker 9 as Leo dozed off on his work bench. Luckily he never found out.
M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)
You both got the chance to hide in the lot of a drive in theater that was playing the movie UP. The monster never found you, and you got to cuddle up with Piper as you both cried in the first 5 minutes of the movie.
Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?
Piper calls you by nickname usually, but will use cute pet names like lovey or baby when it’s the two of you and no one else is around.
On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
Piper is constantly hitting on you, even after you started dating so when the lines get bolder… it can be embarrassing. Everyone tries to ignore you two now, but sometimes the free entertainment is funny as hell.
PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
Corny pick up lines are a regular occurrence, but Piper also really likes keeping you beside her. She’s not clingy enough to not let you do your own thing, but she enjoys keeping and hand or arm on your shoulder at all times. Even if it’s just throwing a leg over your lap as she sits down on the couch.
Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
She brings a spark to the relationship, something that keeps it feeling like you never left the honeymoon phase. She often spoke about hating being Aphrodites daughter, but it was beneficial in her relationships. The spark would have been there without her godly parent, but it sure gives emphasis.
Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
Despite being the daughter of love itself, she is terrible at planning out romantic things. However, she seems to make the trashiest moments slightly romantic. You two could be on a quest together and sleeping in the back of a truck full of rotten veggies and she’ll make you feel like you’re in a truck full of… fresh veggies.
Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
One of your biggest cheerleaders. She’ll drag Leo along as well just to be the loudest at your events, be it by voice or by holding up signs with your name in big glittery letters.
Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
She’s had quite enough of thrills at a young age, but she won’t mind traveling and trying new foods. She’ll find out she’s allergic to some obscure spice and the humorous panic she spouted on the way to the ER was enough for you to want to strangle her yourself.
Understanding - How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
Piper is very empathetic. It’s often scary how much she can understand your feelings even if you aren’t exactly open about them. She’ll pick up on your mood and somehow pick apart what caused it and if she can, she’ll fix it as best as she can.
Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?
Once Piper sees you as family, she’s ready to risk it all for you. If she has to walk the earth just to find you and ensure you’re safe, she would in a heartbeat. 
Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
Her hair had gotten too long one summer and  she had given you permission to grab a pair of scissors and go nuts. She never really cared about how her hair looked anyway, so it wouldn’t hurt for you to do it. Her only request was that you wouldn’t make it look nice. Her hair would look great anyway so you cut randomly, feeling like Piper was your personal Barbie doll and you were an odd child, cutting away the hair of the doll.
XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
SHe likes touching you, be it an arm or holding your hand, maybe even kissing your temple when you’re around people. She’s not a cuddle bug entirely, but she does welcome those moments when you just flop down on her, groaning as she wraps her arms and legs around you  tightly, “Hah! Now you’re trapped!”
Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
Absolutely whines to you before you leave, but once you do she acts like she’s not all too affected. “Like yeah I miss them but I’m not gonna cry about it.” What a lie.
Zeal - are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
She’s willing to start a war with every god if you were in question, now she wouldn’t want to come down to that, but she’s willing to fight for you.
- - -
taglist ; @smileitsisa  , @hermionessimp​ , @beneaththeiceandsnow
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dolliedarlin · 4 years ago
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⏤l o v e s t r u c k 
s u m m a r y : you have a quirk called 'animate' and it's very emotions-based, meaning that if you feel a very strong emotion, you're able to animate things and however strong that emotion is, the stronger it is the things you animate. Also, the pupil of your eyes can change shape or colour in accordance - red for anger and blue for saddness. In battle this is useful for animating weapons and such, however, when you fall in love...it's usefulness isn't always straightforward.
a / n : this is my first time writing for bnha characters so i'm really sorry for any inaccuracies in personalities. also, i, unfortunately, have only been able to think of this imgaine concerning bakugou and todoroki. even so, please enjoy the read!
w a r n i n g s : profanity by the obvious culprit
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k a t s u k i  b a k u g o u  
❥ it happened when you saw his passion and drive during practice...
❥ You always held a deep admiration for people who knew what they wanted and fought for it no matter what. Those were your parents, pro heroes who fought for the greater good as well as each other, and you, so you wanted to be like them and make them proud.
❥ Not only that but you were also a fanatic about LOVE.
❥ Your parents may have only had you as their only child but the insurmountable amount of love they had for each other would give birth to over a hundred children.
❥ You wouldn't have minded having younger siblings but you knew that your parents, being pro heroes themselves, were already risking too much with having their relationship public as well as their status as parents.
❥ By hearing them always gushing over how wonderful it feels to be in love and to be loved back as well as seeing how they act around each other - still a pair of love-struck teenagers in love - you were eager to meet the love of your life and fight for him
❥ During training or instances when you have to fight, it's that want to love and be loved that also fuels the power behind your animations. This power has only strengthened the instant you found the person you were destined to stand with forever.
❥ Bakugou Katsuki.
❥ The moment you took the time to look at him, really look at him and understand who he was was during tests and hero training.
❥ He's a skilled fighter with passion and drive. Admittedly, he's as explosive as his quirk and as rude as rude can get but you saw through that every time his eyes narrowed into a focused stare whenever he was fighting or studying.
❥ It really shows through how passionate he is about becoming the number one hero and you found yourself falling hard for him every time you saw the fire behind his eyes.
❥ It was just so attractive; your little heart couldn't take it!
❥ The time you really fell for him was during the final exams.  Yes, he was stubborn but only because he was so determined. Yes, it was a struggle and they almost lost all home but he never gave up. He was the perfect one for you.
❥ Although you were worried and scared for them at the time, your heart skipped many beats and you soon found those hearts being animated around you as you watched on, worried but falling deeply in love.
❥ You know very well that he can protect himself but your love for him encouraged you to protect him at all costs, especially when you saw him in such a vulnerable state. He was never like that so you swore to yourself that you had to get stronger so that he'd never have to be in such a state again.
❥ Not only that but you had to get stronger for yourself as well as Bakugou.
❥ You wanted to protect him but also be worthy enough to stand by his side.
❥ It became easier to train after having fallen for Katsuki, actually. Now that you had someone in mind to push you forward, someone to visualise being by your side through tough times the way he would be there for you as well, only helped you grow stronger and stronger.
❥ Over time, it became obvious to everyone, even Bakugou how deeply in love you were with him. Not a day goes by without you losing your focus during class only to stare at your ash-blonde classmate with animated hearts floating around your head and hearts in your eyes.
❥ Because of that, you found your grades slipping and even though you asked super nicely, even offering a shoulder massage, Bakugou refused to tutor you.
❥ "Now get out of my way heart eyes!" he snapped at you as he shoved you to the side
❥ "But darling~" you whined, "how can I ever hope to become the perfect wife for you if I don't have a good enough education?"
❥ "HEY! Who said I would ever be marrying you?! And Stop Calling Me That!"
❥ "Oh! Would you prefer 'honey', instead? Or 'sweetheart'? Or 'love of my life'?" by now he was a blushing mess but he still had a snarl on his face. The pink in his cheeks was a win for you though so even if he continued to refuse, you wouldn't mind.
❥ "I don't prefer any of those shit names! Now Leave Me Alone!"
❥ "Fine," you grumble with a whimper and he almost felt guilty at the sad look that crossed your delicate features, "I'll just ask Midoriya-kun for help instead-"
❥ "My room! Bring your shit! 6 pm! Don't be late!"
❥ "Oh Darling~ I knew you wouldn't say no to me~"
❥ It was amusing really, to everyone except you and Bakugou, to see your interactions with each other. You were too in love to notice anyone's teasing whilst Bakugou kept being pushed over the edge by his supposed 'friends'.
❥ "Friends my ass," he grumbled as they whispered behind him about how hilarious it was to watch you pinning for him.
❥ It wasn't funny! It was serious! You were serious about him and he knows it, you said it yourself.
❥ "Stop overdoing it dumbass," he glares down at your exhausted, panting form. It seems as though you were doing extra training atop his tutoring sessions.
❥ "but..." you looked up at him with a tired smile, "I can't be the perfect wife until I'm strong enough to stand beside you..."
❥ He didn't know what to say except for, "I'd rather have a wife that can cook and have good grades at school than a dead one from fatigue," he helps you up and takes you back to the dorms. He didn't know why the hell he said that but you didn't say anything so he assumed you just didn't hear him in your worn state.
❥ After that day, however, you insisted on cooking every day and finally got your grades up. You almost beat him in scores, actually. It was surprising but it proved how serious you were about your love for him. He almost became soft for you.
❥ "Stop doing so much heart eyes," he growled as he saw you making breakfast in the early morning.
❥ "But I need to become a good wife for you, Darling~" you chirped happily as you poured him some apple juice, "and to do that I have to be a good cook - just like you said!"
❥ "Tch! How are you so sure you'll stay interested? You'll find someone else eventually," Bakugou always saying nonsense thoughtlessly whenever he was around you and it was beginning to get on his nerves. He didn't care about this shit, so why in the hell was he saying it to you?
❥ "Nonsense," you huffed adorably, hands on your waist as you turned to him with a frown after lowering the heat on your heart-shaped cinnamon pancakes, "you're the love of my life, there's no one else on this earth that I would ever want except you Katsuki," you flashed him a close-eyed smile, "You're my one and only, Darling~"
❥ He begins to shout out of habit before turning away so you don't see his blush, "Shut up with that bullshit! Your dumb pancakes are gonna burn!" you didn't see his face did you?
❥  In your perspective, you still had a long way to go before you could ever reach Bakugou's standards and finally stand by his side when in actuality you had unknowingly made him want to stand beside you by just being yourself.
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s h o t o  t o d o r o k i
❥ it happened when you saw him smiling for the first time...
❥ The moment you first met Todoroki, you were determined to make him your friend.
❥ No matter how many times he had pushed you away, you were never deterred, in fact, it only fueled your determination in befriending him.
❥ It hurt you to see someone so closed off and without a clue as to how amazing it felt to feel loved and return that love, whether it be romantic or platonic.
❥ You wanted Todoroki to feel that beautiful feeling as well.
❥ All your life, you always had a very loving home with many younger siblings that you adore taking care of. Despite the occasional tantrums that they would act out, they were still the sweetest kids in your eyes and you would do anything for them
❥ Obviously, growing up in such a warm environment made you a very compassionate and empathetic person, even your quirk stemmed off of that which proved to be an advantage in your journey to becoming a hero
❥ The more emotional you were - regardless of if you were extremely happy or angry - that became your source of power in battles, meaning that the things you animated became all the more powerful on the field. The more you wanted to save someone from evil, the stronger you were.
❥ That was the obvious advantage but...that wasn't the case for when you wanted to be subtle about feeling intense emotions like...
❥ falling in love
❥ You didn't expect it with Todoroki, however.
❥ At the end of the day, he was your dear friend through and through. It took a lot of hard work and persistence for him to finally put his trust in you and return your friendship
❥ You didn't want to sabotage all that hard work. He was just beginning to reciprocate your friendly gestures, gestures that you would almost cry over each time because it felt like such a big step for him.
❥ It made you feel such pride when you saw him lose the cold look in his eyes and finally relax when talking with others and engaging in friendly activities
❥ Admittedly, Todoroki was still blunt and clueless to some things but he had all the time in the world to work on that. Having already taken the first step himself, the momentum for his exploration in emotions and opening up to others had begun and you're sure everything will just fall into place after that.
❥ Of course, he still needed some assistance so you had been helping him understand certain emotions and why people would feel a certain way under different circumstances.
❥ It was honestly the cutest thing and you were beyond happy to help satiate his curious mind on various topics he never had a straight answer for.
❥ EXCEPT for studies...he was better than you in that regard most definitely- yep! He's the one that needs to help you if that were the case.
❥ "I don't understand how you could get such a simple question wrong, (Y/N)..." he mused, genuinely dumbfounded at how horribly you failed at answering the practice question.
❥ "Please just help me, Todoroki-kun," you whined, flushing in shame at how horrible you were at English.
❥ "I apologise," he gives a soft bow of his head as you smile and wave off his apology before... "but I really am curious, even a little bit concerned for you,"
❥ "Just help me!"
❥ Not only did you need help in studies, you needed help with hero training. So you trained together. The two of you were dedicated students and always provided great input on ways of improving technique and approaches towards attacks. You made a perfect oblivious pair.
❥ The time your feelings decided to show was when the two of you had just finished sparing and it had been your turn to pay for an icy treat as a reward for such hard work. After making a short stop at the convenience store, you were now on your way back to the dorms happily chatting with ice creams in hand.
❥ "Is it weird to want to become closer to someone..." Todoroki stares at his icicle curiously, "someone that's close to you and is always there for you?" he feels a warmth in his cheeks that he's always having to suppress around you, it was never easy but he always succeeded.
❥ All he had to do was just think about you being in danger and being unable to help. That set his flustered state back to normal right away despite the sinking feeling he felt in his heart.
❥ "It's normal to feel that way," you assure, taking another taste of your ice cream, "there's no shame in that and it's definitely not weird,"
❥ "Oh," you flash him another reassuring glance as his lips tug up into a soft smile, "I'm glad,"
❥ That was when it happened.
❥ The setting sun had framed his smiling figure with a soft glow and you were instantly the victim of his content disposition. You knew he was handsome but...he looked all the more ethereal when he was smiling - smiling in the sunlight.
❥ The glow made his hair look like freshly fallen snow beside polished rubies as his eyes, one grey and one a paralysing blue captured the twinkling essence of the sunshine perfectly. His chiseled jaw cast a shadow across his neck, further defining his proportioned features as his angular nose gave him the desired picture-perfect side profile.
❥ If he didn't resemble the embodiment of perfection then and there, you don't know what did.
❥ As you stood dumbfounded, Todoroki had turned around, having walked several steps ahead of you and was stunned into his own silence.
❥ There you stood, a meter or so behind him with animated red hearts floating around your head, your stare was fixed solely on him as you let your coned ice cream gradually melt under the heated gaze of the sun; it's stickiness attempting to glue your fingers together.
❥ This wasn't the first time he had seen your animate quirk illustrate your emotions. He remembers you explaining that whenever you felt a strong emotion, whether it be happy or sad, you would lose control of your quirk and it would animate whatever it was that you were feeling.
❥ One time, you had ranked really low on an English test and a raincloud animated itself above you before it proceeded to soak you in rain. That day he had let you borrow his blazer to avoid Mineta's perverted staring and offered his tutelage on the subject.
❥ This is new. He wonders what strong emotion you were feeling. Hearts...what did hearts represent? Love...right?
❥ He looks around before his eyes landed on your icecream. Did you love your ice cream so much that you didn't want to eat it and just let it melt in your hand? He frowns. No, that can't be it.
❥ Could it be him?
❥ "(Y/N)..."
❥ if only he smiled more...-no!
❥"(Y/N)?"
❥ That would mean more people would see his soft handsome features and you can't have that! You are the first person he showed that side of himself to so you should be the only one allowed to ever witness it again-right? Or is that too selfish-?
❥ "(Y/N)?!" thankfully, Todoroki was able to successfully snap you out of your daze.
❥ "O-Oh! Sorry Todoroki-kun," you blushed in apology, looking to the side in embarrassment, only to squeal in shock horror when you notice the hearts floating around you. Shouting nonsense in between constant 'I'm sorry's, you waved the hearts away, "I-I'm really truly s-sor-"
❥ If it weren't for Todoroki taking your free hand in his own and tugging you back along the way to the dorms once more, you would have uttered your hundredth apology but, instead, you were left a stuttering and blushing mess, your animated hearts making their comeback floating around your head.
❥ As soon as you're right next to him, he lets go of your hand and pulls you closer by the waist. By now the hearts have begun to float around him and, although you were embarrassed beyond belief with your gaze fixed to the floor, Todoroki smiled even wider before leaning down to gently kiss your temple
❥ "Now, I know you weren't lying to me," this caught your attention albeit you were still a flustered mess of a person, "this feeling is so normal the other person feels the same way too, right?"
❥ You didn't know how to respond to that. Smile or faint from too much blood rushing to your head?
❥ How about both?
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n a v i . | bnha mlist
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bookofmirth · 3 years ago
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“I know the circumstances for your coming here were awful, Nesta, but it doesn’t mean you need to be so miserable about it.” This is what Elain said to Nesta which I think can 100% be invalidating her trauma. Especially when considering before, Elain was basically a walking corpse during the previous books while Nesta was trying to help her as well as dealing with the War. Nesta didn’t have time to process all the stuff happening to her so of course she wouldn’t be healed.Nesta ignoring Elain once in a marketplace is 10x better than Elain ignoring Nesta, not speaking or acknowledging Nesta for literal months, and then packing up Nesta’s belongings and agreeing to toss Nesta in a house.
While the “intervention” took place during Nesta’s lowest points, she was still only just starting her healing journey when Elain visited. How tf did Elain expect her sister, who had only just started to work to be better, to suddenly be healed in a week or two. Like you don’t expect a drug addict to suddenly be perfectly fine after 2 weeks even if they’ve been struggling for years.
I think the main reason I was shocked to read some of the dialogue between Nesta and Elain is because I thought Elain of all people would understand how destructive you become when you go through such a massive change as going into the Cauldron. Like I definitely didn’t want Elain to just take Nesta’s words, but I thought she would see her own self and then have a nice moment of connection or maybe not even that, just empathy. Even after Elain saw how much hate Nesta had for herself in their talks, the only thing she pulled was that Nesta wasn’t trying (which wasn’t true). Plus, didn’t Elain’s visit come as a surprise too? I wouldn’t be very happy if I was in Nesta’s situation either.
One of my favourite parts of ACOSF was when Elain stood up for herself in regards to wanting to go the Dread Trove and was very disappointed and angry when Azriel and Nesta prevented her from doing it. I saw this same reaction for many of the other people in the fandom, even those who said they don’t find Elain as an enjoyable character, so I don’t think people were upset about Elain standing up for herself. Personally, I totally agree that people were making Elain’s trauma about themselves.
I’m not anti-Elain by any means, but this book definitely didn’t improve her character for me in the slightest. A lot of what we know about Elain is unfortunately through people who don’t understand her, so when we’re told through canon text that she’s kind, gentle, and understanding, then turns out to be the opposite in multiple situations, it comes off as hypocritical. However, that iI believe is on SJM and not necessarily the character that Elain is going to be. I’m excited to read her story, but nearly every time she had a line in ACOSF it made me both confused and angry.
This is way too fucking long I’m so sorry😭
Yes, that line about being so miserable about it did make me cringe a bit when I reread for the other ask. Nesta is so sensitive that any sort of criticism - hell, any sort of attempt to compliment her - will go over like a load of bricks. She's just in the worst place and maybe Elain went partly to assuage her own guilt at being part of the intervention but not having the guts to actually participate to Nesta's face. To me, that's way more hurtful than anything Elain said to Nesta in acosf. But maybe that’s just me.
But going back to that quote... This might be going too deep into it, but I don't think Elain was expecting Nesta to be healed, I think that she was saying "why do you have to act like this". Here's why:
Elain and Nesta are polar opposites in how they handle trauma. Elain shuts down and goes catatonic. Nesta explodes and lashes out at everyone around her. Neither of those are good, but as someone who also tends to shut down and has been the target of many an explosion by others who react the other way, I 100% understand why Elain said that. They both had trauma. Their feelings about that trauma is valid. However, I personally take issue (again, because of my personal history) with people who use their trauma as a bludgeon to harm people around them, whether that's their intention or not.
So to me, that's what Elain was saying. She was saying, "why do you have to treat people like this," not, "why do you feel like this." They went through nearly identical traumas, though Elain had her lost engagement on top of that. She knows what Nesta is feeling, but she doesn't understand Nesta's reaction to it because she fundamentally handles those events in the opposite way.
I don't think that the shutting down and going catatonic is necessarily better because it usually means shutting other people out in a different way, which can also damage relationships. It's just more... insidious and harder to see. And something I personally need to not do.
Regarding what you said about Elain being empathetic, I wonder if she's just reached her max emotional labor energy? Their estrangement has been going on for almost a year. It would be nice if she had continued to be 100% kind the whole time, and she was trying to reach out to Nesta in that scene, but I personally don't blame her for saying enough is enough.
I guess my overall feelings about Elain right now are that I like her, I don't blame her for being less-than-considerate because in the scheme of things she usually is, but the fandom just has wildly different reactions to what she did in acosf. Especially for people who relate to Nesta (and I noticed that most of your point were about how they interacted, not Elain as an individual 😛just saying) Elain is on their shit list. And that makes sense, because they got zero resolution or reconciliation in acosf. I suppose that's one thing we know will happen in Elain's book! It's just funny to me that, as a character who people keep saying has no personality, people sure do have strong feelings about her 😂
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smallheathgangsters · 5 years ago
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Let Me Guide You | A.S.
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A/N: Did this turn out longer than I expected? Yes. Do I mind? Not at all. Please enjoy my messy writing!! Also, thank you anon for your kind words ❤️
Request: “Hi! I Ioved your Arthur fic♥ He deserves all the love in the word, so if you feel like it, you may write something fluffy, funny maybe? With prompts 25 and 28? Keep the good work!♥” by Anon
Pairing: Arthur Shelby x Reader
AU: set before the war, young Arthur
Word Count: 2874
Type: pure fluff
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You were waiting in the back seat of a car for you friend Ella to show up. You had made plans to go dancing together, something you both had been doing every weekend for more than a year now. Your parents owned a couple of fancy clubs in Birmingham, making both of your names permanent on all of the guest lists. Although lately, Ella had been calling off your dates to go dancing more and more due to the fact that she now had a boyfriend who seemed to be needing a ridiculous amount of attention.
You noticed your driver look over his shoulder to you. You sighed, rolling your eyes at him. “Please don’t say anything.”
You knew he was thinking about asking you if your friend had ditched you once more. He’d been your loyal chauffeur for almost every evening you’d met up with Ella, so he had also been around to witness her failing to show up on multiple occasions.
You ducked your head slightly to be able to gaze out of the window to the block in front of the car in which Ella rented her apartment.
“Would you like to go home, Miss?”
You pressed your lips together. You hated being stood up. Especially by your best friend. It made you feel so worthless. It hadn’t been easy for you to find true friends as the daughter of a wealthy family, but Ella had been everything you’d ever wished for. She didn’t care about your background, treating you like any other person and not taking advantage of you.
“One more minute, please,” you answered your driver’s question, not taking your eyes away from the building. Suddenly, you saw the front door open. You gasped quietly, hoping that it was your best friend, very late but at least not having forgotten about you.
You let out a disappointed sigh when you saw the older man stepping out into the cold, dirty Birmingham air while putting on his hat before closing the door behind him carefully.
“Are you sure, Miss?”
You inhaled slowly and closed your eyes, trying your best to hide your sadness in front of him. After a moment of silence, you spoke. “I’m walking home.”
“Excuse me?”
He was confused.
“I need catch some fresh air and clear my head. I’m walking home,” you repeated, shuffling over to the door and grabbing the handle.
Your driver turned around in his seat, grabbing you by the arm. “It’s not safe for you to be out alone at this time. Your father will be very upset with me for returning without you.”
You could see the worry in his eyes. Partly because of you, the city really not being the safest place on earth at night for a young woman like you, although mostly because of the job he wanted to keep. And you had sympathy for the poor man. But in this moment, you just wanted to get out of this car more than anything.
“I’ll talk to my father tomorrow. You need to trust me when I tell you that you don’t have anything to worry about,” you said to reassure him and hopefully make him let go of you. He sighed heavily and pulled his hand back. “If you say so, Miss.”
“Thank you,” you said, trying to make him feel less guilty about letting you out into the night by yourself. Then you pulled the handle and opened the door of the car.
When your high heels reached the cobblestone, the icy wind wrapped itself around your ankles right away. The tiny hairs on your legs stood up as a reaction to the bleakness. You wrapped your coat a little tighter around your body and started walking into the direction of your home.
If you were being completely honest, you had no idea how long this walk would take you. It wasn’t that you regretted your decision, but it was colder than you had anticipated, and it hadn’t been your plan to freeze to death on your way.
It wasn’t long until you started shivering and the wind just seemed to be getting stronger since you’ve left the car.
“Fuck,” you hissed to yourself, picking up the pace.
You turned around a corner, your eyes on the ground beneath you, making you clumsily bump into a person.
You felt two hands grab both of your upper arms reflexively, steadying you. “Oi, watch out!”
Your eyes fell onto a young man with blue eyes and pretty brown hair. At first, you were scared that he was angry at you for not paying attention to where you were walking, but when you spotted the cheeky grin on his lips your tensed-up muscles relaxed.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled awkwardly, stepping back from him. You repeated the act of wrapping your coat tighter around yourself.
“Are you lost? You don’t look like somebody who should be out here all alone,” you heard the young man say, his voice traced with concern.
You shook your head at his question. “No, not at all. I’m just on my way home.”
The man eyed you sceptically. “You sure? I could walk you home if you wanted to.”
He noticed your body shift uncomfortably after he offered to escort you to your house. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a self-conscious chuckle. “I’m not the creepy guy you probably think I am, I promise.”
His remark surprisingly made you return his chuckle. “I do hope so.”
“Good,” he grinned. “Which way?”
He moved so he was now stood beside you, waiting for you to point out the directions.
“Straight ahead down this street,” you said and started walking again.
The unexpected encounter had made you forget about the cold, but now your body went back to its shivering state. The chattering of your teeth was unmistakable, and it didn’t take long for the stranger to comment on it. “You’re freezing, aren’t you, eh?”
You shook your head, which made him laugh. “Don’t be so stubborn, let me give you my coat.”
“But I’m already wearing one,” you said, laughing at his offer.
“So what?”
He shed his own coat, putting it around your shoulders gently. You hated to admit it, but it helped a lot. Especially because it still held his warmth. “Thank you.”
The two of you continued walking in silence when a thought popped up in your head. “I feel like you were on your way to somewhere when I ran into you. I hope nobody’s going to worry about you not showing up.”
“No,” he laughed, “they’re most likely already drunk off their faces and don’t remember that I told them I’d be joining them later.”
You chuckled. “Evening at the bar with friends, I guess?”
He nodded. “Where are you walking home from, if I may ask?”
You let out a sigh. You’d almost forgotten about the reason you were out here in the bitter cold and unfortunately his question brought up your annoyance again.
You heard him gulp. “Oh– I’m sorry, I didn’t want to–“
“No, it’s okay,” you told him. “I was stood up by my best friend and just needed some fresh air to calm myself down and not get too angry at her.”
“Sounds like she’s very important to you.”
You let out a deep breath. “She is. And I was so excited for tonight …”
He gave you an empathetic look. “What was the plan?”
“Dancing.”
Your voice was shaky, although you didn’t understand what made you this upset. Of course, the way Ella had been treating you lately had been unfair, but she was still your best friend and it wasn’t as though she had been completely ignoring you. You still rang each other up from day to day, talking about whatever was on your minds and complaining about your mostly irrelevant problems. But somehow it hurt you more today than it had affected you on other evenings.
The stranger looked at you sadly and then placed a hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “I mean, I would love to take you dancing … but I’m fucking shit at it.”
You let out a giggle and sniffled quietly. Then you both fell silent again.
The two of you turned into a main street and the atmosphere got a lot busier. There were multiple groups of young people roaming around, some drunk, some simply having a laugh. On the other side of the street you spotted a long queue with people in fancy suits and gorgeous dresses. You watched them while walking along the cobble, wishing you could join them.
There were three guards standing at the entrance, checking the guest list and making sure nobody entered that wasn’t allowed. Your eyes fell onto the large sign above them, beaming the name of the club with yellowish lights into the night. Then it hit you. This was one of your parent’s clubs. Not the one that you and Ella had planned on going to, but one of your favourites, nevertheless.
That was when you realised that you weren’t ready to go home at all. You hadn’t put on this expensive dress and spent forty-five minutes on your make-up to walk through Birmingham in the freezing cold. And there was absolutely no reason for you to let your best friend ruin a good night out. You didn’t need her to have fun. At least not today.
You lifted your head up to the young man next to you and gave him a cheeky grin. He cocked an eyebrow, waiting for you to reveal to him what was going through your head.
“Let me teach you how to dance, stranger boy,” you said, giving him a teasing wink and grabbing his hand before he could protest. You pulled him over to the other side, directly towards the entrance. But instead of going up to the guards, you spotted another entry only a few feet next to them. It was the one used for the performers or other important guests, who didn’t need to queue.
Your eyes met one of the guards as you were heading towards the back door. He simply nodded to you, a way of greeting you and giving you immediate permission to use the private entry.
You pushed down the handle and stepped into the dark room behind it, pulling the young man with you, your hand still in his.
“Oi, hold up!”
“What?” you laughed, turning around to meet his confused expression.
“I’m pretty sure this is illegal,” he said, looking around nervously. “We’re going to get fucking caught and as much as I like an adventure, I don’t want to end up getting my ass beaten by those guards I saw outside.”
You chuckled at his sweet innocence. He hadn’t seen the look you and the man outside had exchanged. “Relax, stranger. Those guards work for my parents.”
Your revelation made his jaw drop and his eyes widen. “Are you some kind of rich girl?”
“My parents are rich, yes. I’m just lucky enough to never have to queue or pay to go dancing.”
“Fuck me,” he breathed out, still looking at you stunned. He ran his hand through his hair, messing it up slightly.
“Can I at least teach you to dance first?” you laughed. He joined your laughter, surprised by your unexpected wittiness. You took off both coats and tossed them onto a chair in the corner. Then you proceeded to grab his hand once more, dragging him through the dimly lit room and through another door and with that, revealing the inside of the club to him.
You noticed the young man being in awe when he stopped in his tracks, trying to take in the scene. His eyes glistened while they jumped around the dancefloor and over to the bar and the private lounges with wealthy men and woman in expensive clothes.
“I don’t belong in a place like this,” he gasped, looking down at you. He seemed overwhelmed with the situation, as if all he wanted was to storm out of here. He continued running his hands through his hair, most likely a nervous tick he had.
You huffed. “Stop ruining my good spirits! We’re going to have so much fun, trust me!”
Your hands placed themselves on his lower back, pushing his body towards the crowd on the dance floor. You felt him stiffen up, taking the smallest steps possible.
“I’m too fucking underdressed for this,” you heard him grumble.
“Shut up,” you replied.
When you arrived in the middle of the club, you spun him around and gave him a wide smile. “Let me guide you. At the end of the night you’ll be perfect at this.”
He let out a deep sigh. “I’ll step on your feet.”
“So what?” you asked, repeating his remark he used when you questioned his idea of you wearing two coats. You saw him try to suppress a grin but failing miserably.
Finally, he let you guide his hands and feet, moving them to the correct spots on the floor and on your body. He did move a little clumsily, but you didn’t mind at all, finding it adorable.
After about an hour he finally got the hang of the basics and you stopped giving him constant instructions. The music had gotten louder and wilder and the people surrounding you started bursting out into the craziest moves, making you laugh out with joy. This was where you belonged, where you were your happiest.
You let yourself get infected by the energy of the crowd, pulling your company right into it. You noticed him loosen up more and more, spinning and twirling you around while grinning widely down at you.
There was nothing that could possibly take away the happiness you felt in that moment. You forgot about your best friend standing you up, you forgot about being so very upset about it and you forgot about the fact that you probably still had an awfully long way home after this evening.  
After continuing your wild movements for what felt like an eternity, you eventually calmed down and pushed yourselves through the guests towards the bar. You ordered two glasses of champagne and leaned against the counter, breathing heavily.
“This was so much fun!” you exclaimed with a content expression on your face. While dancing made you feel the most alive, you could see that your stranger was exhausted.
“My entire body hurts,” he gasped, grabbing the champagne glass right after the bartender set it down next to him, downing it in one go.
You giggled and took a sip of the bubbly beverage yourself. “But I still hope you enjoyed yourself at least a little bit.”
He looked down at you with a grin and nodded. “Yes, how could I not enjoy myself with such a pretty girl by my side?”
You blushed and rolled your eyes, although still smiling. “Good, because I wanted to ask you what you were doing next weekend?”
He tilted his head, his lips forming a cheeky grin. “Why do you ask?”
“We should totally do this again!” you burst out, putting down your glass, grabbing his hand and twirling yourself around it.
The stranger chuckled. “What about your best friend?”
“Oh, you know, she’s very occupied with her boyfriend. I don’t think she minds me having found myself a new dance partner for the times she’s not available.”
“Are you saying I’m just second-best, eh, pretty girl?” he laughed. You stuck out your tongue in response.
You and your acquaintance continued chatting and asking each other questions about your lives. He found out about your privileged upbringing and you found out about his completely different one. As much as he was impressed by your stories you were curious about his. You didn’t notice it getting awfully late when suddenly the bartender tapped you on your shoulder. “Miss? We’re closing up soon. Would you like me to call a driver to pick you up?”
Almost all the staff that worked for your parents knew who you were, so this question was only to be expected.
“Yes, please. But tell him we’ll have to make a short stop in Small Heath,” you answered. “Watery Lane, right?”
The young man smiled at the fact that you remembered. “That is very kind of you, but I’ll be fine walking home.”
“Oh, stop it! You’re coming with me if you like it or not. This is my way of saying thank you for letting me teach you to dance,” you protested, turning back to the man behind the bar. “Can you do that for me?”
The bartender nodded and headed off to the telephone in a back room.
“So …,” he began, giving you a mischievous smirk. “Would you like me to continue calling you pretty girl or do you prefer your actual name?”
“I could really get used to pretty girl, if I’m being honest,” you laughed.
“Alright then, pretty girl. It was lovely spending this evening with you and I’m very much looking forward to next weekend.”
You smiled up at him. “Me too.”
“I’m Arthur, by the way.”
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jmkitsune · 3 years ago
Note
1-50 of the "be nosy asks" 😂
1. What’s your sexual orientation?
Im a demisexual
2. What are you obsessed with right now?
well I jsut finished stargate atlantis so let's go with that cause I did SG1/SGA in like a few months
TEMPTED to do universe buut we'll see
3. Ever done any drugs?
nope- not a huge fan (by that i mean I actually can't stand drugs)
4. What piercings do you want?
I'd like to redo my ears at some point
5. How many people have you kissed?
uhhh we'll say (in sexual/romantic way)
10 people
6. Describe your dream home.
clock tower penthouse overlooking the bay near the ocean or something
7. Who are you jealous of?
those who are successful
8. What’s your favorite show to binge?
simpsons futurama or daria
9. Do you watch porn?
nope
10. Do you have a secret sideblog?
nah I have this blog, a star wars one I kinda forgot about/let die, and one for my first book trilogy I may wipe at some point cause I /have never gotten what I wanted to do with it/
11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
beach
12. What’s one of your fantasies?
to never work again and enjoy comfort
13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?
nah
14. How would you spend a million dollars?
pay off debt
get my own place
not worry about bills for a while
15. Are you in a relationship?
I am not that being said if someone wants me- they gotta earn me cause I'm expensive AS FUCK
16. Do you follow porn blogs?
nah like I follow sex workers but that is cause either friends/acquaintances and I support their hard work but thats bout it
17. Are you angry with anyone right now?
nah
18. What tattoos do you want?
omg too many lol I always want new tattoos
19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?
I probably would just legally change my name to JM instead of using it as a preferred name
20. What is something you’re obsessed with?
Star Wars, Star Gate, streaming, writing, gaming, uhhh *shrugs*
21. Describe your best friend.
stubborn, funny, pain in the ass, smart, irritating, dependable, makes me wanna throw things at them, protective, short etc
22. Tag someone you think is hot.
Insert every person I know who is attractive cause hi everyone is attractive in someway shape or form
23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?
Skillet, Linkin Park, Protomen, MCR, Fall out Boy
24. What are three places you want to travel?
Pacific North West
25. Describe your perfect Friday night.
relaxing
26. What’s your favorite season?
actual spring where its not too hot/too cold and enjoyable
27. What’s your pet peeve?
people who willfully want to be ignorant because they think its better than being educated since they think ALL educated people are elitist
28. Who is the funniest person you know?
myself
29. What’s the most overrated movie?
and here is where I catch SO MUCH FLACK
scott pilgrim
30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.
uhh I actually message a lot of people so like I dont think I need to do that here
31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?
digital baby
we're in 2021 - save the trees and give me more books to carry in a smaller lighter device :D
32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?
the ones I've written
33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?
Jedi meets Grisha, meets Cloud Strife, Loki and Scarlet Witch
34. What’s your coffee order?
I have not had coffee since high school
and my order then was a medium decaf extra extra from dunks
35. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Im demi, crushes= confused friendship lines lol
36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?
of course, im human thats kinda the side effect of loving someone for a long time, there is always a shred of you that lingers for them
37. Have any tattoos?
I have SIX tattoos yes :D
two constellations (Orion/Pisces) on my wrists, my son of hades/twitch tattoo on my right forearm, my KH tattoos on my upper biceps, and my USB/IO Keyhole tattoo on the back of my neck
38. Do you drink?
not anymore, im a depressed drunk and I am very VERY uncomfortable around people who drink/are drunk
39. Are you a virgin?
NOPE
40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?
go sub to my patreon for a year and I'll tell ya ;D
41. How many followers do you have?
go follow all my places get me boosted so you guys follow me everywhere and you can actually see all the shit I put out online content wise besides what I reblog on here
tumblr - 1660
twitch- 416
twitter 337
instagram- 175
tiktok-1877
youtube- 116
42. Describe the hottest person you know.
Have you seen 1990s Brendan Fraser
43. What’s your guilty pleasure?
im a shopaholic when depressed
44. Do you read erotica?
I have, and I'll be honest, there is a part of me that thinks it has quality of writing people should not overlook BUT its not for me I think
45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
fun fact- I've only been on
46. How many people do you follow?
here- 275, tiktok 545, instagram- 392, twitter 442
47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?
none, I don't have celebrity crushes and shit (and before you say fraser- I can appreciate someone's attractiveness without having a crush, I'm demi, not blind)
48. Describe your ideal partner.
from two friends who know me best
- witty, witchy, nerdy, someone who I can idealize their flaws into quirks -pretty eyed, dark haired nerdy girl with curves (esp. bangin tiddies) ((I can't believe adrienne SERIOUSLY SAID THAT PART)) who is empathetic and intelligent and willing to work with you and communicate with you to build something solid and long lasting
49. Who do you text the most?
I text Icarus, Britt, and Adrienne the most
50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?
“That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25th, because it’s not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket!”
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embrythecall · 4 years ago
Text
a twilight tag game, you say?
pick 5-10 characters and write your take on the canon version of them vs. fanon version of them. fanon doesn’t have to be what is generally accepted in the fandom, it can be your own idea of what you think a character is like. then tag the same number of people as characters you pick, if you can.
I was tagged by @teamjacobthot -- thank you so much! I’m excited to get into this :) 
EMBRY 
(obviously because i adore him with my whole soul) 
Canon:
chill aka probably just shy let’s be real here
likes to bet on things? 
seems to have the most common sense
Fanon:
HERE WE GO, EVERYBODY *cracks knuckles*
def the smartest one out of him, jake and quil. 
an observer. definitely a people watcher. he reads the VIBEZ
very, super, ultra, mega sarcastic. almost cynical. I feel like he’s probably a realist in a lot of situations rather than either an optimist or a pessimist. probably leans a little more towards pessimism though 
refuses to learn about his dad (though, I personally believe it’s Joshua Uley, but that’s a long headcanon for another day unless someone specifically wants to know my thoughts on it more haha)
a super romantic without knowing he’s a romantic? 
real tight with his mom-- they’ve only ever had each other since old daddio has been out of the picture the entire time and she’s probably never really dated (once again, i have more thoughts on that too but you know, i digress)
also i SUPER headcanon that he almost ALWAYS only refers to her as, “Ma,” unless it is a serious situation in which he uses ‘mother’ but i do NOT feel like he is a ‘mom’ person. at least for his own mother. 
honestly these are just all my own headcanon i have no idea what people think about him :S 
for me, i think him and Jacob are closer than Quil is to either of them. In my mind, when embry’s mom Tiffany first got to town, she became really good friends with Sarah Black and thus, Jacob and Embry have kind of been friends since birth, quil only coming in a little later maybe and just not having the same kind of friendship that embry and jake have
I think him and Leah secretly get each other. Like they don’t talk much or anything, but Embry never makes comments to or about her and doesn’t participate in the guys being absolute jerks to her. 
also, he just guzzles that respect women juice. like, he was raised solely by his mother so like... he was taught to respect women and also i think this makes him more empathetic to other people which is why he wouldn’t be mean to leah or say mean things about her because he’d understand to a level and might even see pieces of his own mother in her because they both were screwed over by men and he never EVER wants to be that to anybody ever
probably plays guitar but NEVER shows anybody 
usually the but of a joke between jake and quil. 
also the decider in arguments between jake and quil
i have a zillion more but i’ll quit while i’m ahead
also
is a slut for muffins
QUIL ATEARA V
Canon:
he thinks he’s a ladies man (thinks) 
more outgoing?
likes hanging out with friends 
took his cousin to prom 
Fanon:
so, so, so funny as in a total dork with a lot of unearned confidence
book smart but NOT street smart
prefers name brand foods over generic because it just ‘has that extra something something’ and also, class
loves to debate with jacob. he always ends up taking it somehow more seriously than jacob does. 
i actually do not know why nobody talks about quil i feel like he’s super underrated and actually hilarious.
@teamjacobthot‘s one of this tag game mentioned he was a soundcloud rapper and i think i DIED so imma also go with that and second you there
very particular about how things are done 
a lover of the puns
toy story is his favorite childhood film, and he announces it as so. 
LEAH CLEARWATER
Canon:
angry and bitter 
thinks nothing more than of sam 
hates vampires 
sassy
Fanon:
i absolutely LOVE practically every fanon i’ve ever seen of leah in the fandom like...ever. they are all so amazing and i actually just want tons and tons of fanfictions about all of them
Ngl, i really am a big AngelaxLeah fan
BUT 
I PERSONALLY hc that leah gets fed up with being in the pack and she feels like there’s really nothing there for her. She ends up leaving la puzb to go off and explore the world-- she wants to see it and experience more than just the memories and the life that surrounds her in la push. she travels all over and often does so in wolf form when she can. I HC she imprints there-- on a real nice super cool lady from some other country. (this is another thing i could go on for days about, i will write a fanfic about it one day. ONE DAY i shall PREVAIL!) 
Honestly, i really do like Leah as she was canon. I think that it was the way everybody acted around her that i would change and i feel like the fandom as a whole agrees on that 
like yeah, Leah is a badass bitch with a great sense of humor. she’s witty and sarcastic and smart and wise and i just love her to pieces. everyone else just needs to wise up and be nicer
JACOB 
Canon:
super supportive and kind and loving and understanding and THEN smeyer swooped in and DESTROYED MY BOY. 
like, don’t even get me STARTED on my feelings about what she did to her OWN CHARACTER 
i mean really
smeyer straight up didn’t know what to do with him so she did... all of THAT. it makes me want to wheep.
Fanon:
the fanons out there on Jacob are just... they are SO WONDERFUL and give me SO MUCH JOY 
i’ve heard him being a mechanic obviously, i’ve heard about the HILARIOUS details of his friendship with like, alice and rosalie and emmett like... that shit is so funny i live for it 
i could read jacob fanons all day
i guess personally, i just love to bits. he’s super patient. very funny but also is really understanding and can (and loves) to get into deep discussions about stuff and listen to other people’s passions and share his own. 
purposefully pushes quil’s buttons so he can get a rise out of him because he LOVES their dumb bickering and enjoys a good debate 
is also almost always right in those debates 
quil probably won like... twice in all of history and it was based on some kind of weird trivia fact he learned in a biology class or something lol
i bet that when the time came he had kids (not with you-know-who obviously cause just...no), he’d be SUCH a great dad and he’d be SUPER hands-on with them, like always taking them places and teaching them how to do various stuff
and if one of his kids was really into something he didn’t know how to do, you KNOW his ass is up on youtube all night long learning how to do it so he can spend THAT MUCH MORE TIME with his kids 
oh he’s just so sweet love him to pieces 
RENESMESS
...I had to do this but i have a good reason:
Canon:
exists
Fanon:
absolutely does NOT exist
who?
the only ONLY acknowledgement i will give her is i read a fanon somewhere about how she HATES her name. like she is downright royally not okay with it and when she gets older and has to go to school for eternity with her family (weird. seriously so weird but i’m pushing through this) she decides to announce that she is only going by this other name (personally i feel like it’s Carlie because it’s still her middle name and jfd;akfsd but also because it’s A NORMAL NAME) and so she is never called renesmee again because that is straight up a monster name and even her nickname is a monster so like, ugh. 
also, i REFUSE to believe that Jacob imprinted on her, okay? if she has to exist, he did NOT imprint on her and they can be buds or something but just... no. (i have so many issues with imprinting guys, i should just sit down and write a long post about it but the ENERGY and it isn’t like it’s not all things that have been said before. it’s more what I’d fix about it so it could still exist but not be a legit code word for grooming and an excuse for blatant p*d* grossness because that’s all it is and i HATE THAT) 
so I don’t talk to anyone in the fandom really because i don’t really know how to start conversations like... at all. I really WANT to talk to people but I’m a chicken and i have a hard time, BUT, i really admire so many of the blogs on here and i LOVE so much of their content. Off the top of my head, i shall tag: 
@chiefjacob @911esme @jacobblackredemptionblog @embrycallsmuffin @leahclearwaterdefensesquad AND anyone else who wishes to do this! it was so much fun! I say do it! and if you’ve already done it, i just tip my hat to you for being an awesome blog :) 
seriously! tag me when you do it, i want to see your answers!! 
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captainsassmanes · 5 years ago
Text
It’s My Life, Don’t You Forget
Part 1
He’d been up all night, sending emails to his superiors, calling in favors, packing his bags. Exhaustion pulled at his eyelids, but nerves kept them propped open. This was the most spontaneous thing he’d ever done and, even though it scared the life out of him, he was ready.
As the sky turned pink and the birds awoke, Alex found himself outside again, hands shaking around his third cup of coffee. There was no way he’d be selling his house; it was the first thing he truly owned, had built up on his own. It felt like him. But he knew he needed someone to keep it up.
Once his phone showed a more reasonable hour, Alex sighed and shot off a text, bracing for the barrage of questions he’d inevitably be faced with.
After a shower and some breakfast, Alex was going through his closet, smiling at some of the t-shirts he’d held onto since high school when his front door slammed open. He squeezed his eyes and held his breath, waiting for the shit to hit the fan.
“Excuse me, you’re going where?”
He peeked through a squinted eye to see Kyle standing, one leg out in an angry bevel, with his hands on his hips. Alex had to bite down a laugh, Kyle reminding him of a show he’d just watched, you look like a disgruntled pelican.
“No,” he didn’t bother waiting for an answer. “You’re not going anywhere.” Kyle practically stomped over to Alex’s suitcase and began removing piles of neatly folded clothes.
Alex helplessly reached a hand out and groaned as he watched his hard work dismantle. “Kyle, c’mon. Seriously? That took me all morning!”
“Good, you bastard! While you refold, you can tell me what the hell is going on!”
Shaking his head, Alex sighed and sat at the edge of the bed, knee to knee with his friend. Maybe his only friend.
“I can’t stay here anymore, Kyle.” He swallowed as he stared at the blank wall in front of him. “Everywhere I turn it’s Manes men this, or aliens that, or Michael and Maria-“
“Ah, this is a Guerin thing.”
Alex shook his head before pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes. “No,” he sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, I can barely breathe when I’m with him, feel kind of sick when I see them together, but it’s not just Michael.”
They sat in silence as Alex carefully chose his words. “I don’t know who I am anymore. Or who I wanna be when I grow up.”
Kyle chuckled and placed a hand on his knee, squeezing gently. “I know who you are, Alex.”
Alex turned with a raised eyebrow and a sniffle. Kyle just shrugged and smiled, patting him on the leg before standing and folding the clothes he knocked into one big pile.
“You’re a good man. You’re empathetic and thoughtful. You’re brilliant and incredibly talented. You’re funny and sarcastic but you’ve got the right timing for it, you’re never mean just to be mean.”
Alex couldn’t help but smile before standing to join Kyle in his folding.
“You do have one big flaw, though.”
“Well thank you, I thought this was going too well.”
“You’re a self-sacrificing idiot.”
Nodding, Alex stared down at the Panic! shirt in his hands. “Yeah.”
“So, California, huh?”
Alex grabbed the pile of clothes Kyle had attempted to fold, horrified at the wrinkles already forming. “LA.”
“Nice. Couldn’t be more different than here.”
Alex shrugged as he carefully placed the stack of shirts back in his bag. “Aside from too many people it seems like it might fit me pretty well.”
“You know we’re gonna miss you, right?”
Smirking, Alex pushed Kyle’s shoulder, hoping to play off how much he’d miss Kyle, too. “You’ll live.”
“Not just me, though. Everyone.”
He couldn’t keep teasing, not with the pit that formed when he thought of the friends he’d pulled away from, who’d pushed him away. “They’ll live, too.”
As the room filled with the words Alex refused to say, he stood and announced he had to pee, grimacing with his complete lack of tact, and shut himself in the bathroom.
“This is the right thing. It’s scary but it’s the right thing.” He stared down his reflection, daring himself to argue, but nothing came. He’d miss the comfort of Roswell, the relative predictability. The Crashdown. The bunkers. Beam Me Up. The desert. Kyle. But this was the right thing.
He flushed the toilet to keep up appearances and splashed some cold water on his face, slapping his cheeks to bring back some color. Kyle sat on the bed, exactly where Alex had left him, phone in hand, fingers moving rapid fire.
“So, when are you leaving us for SoCal?”
Alex glanced at his watch. “About three hours.”
His heart did something uncomfortable at the expression that crossed Kyle’s face but Kyle quickly hid his disappointment and smiled wide. “So no going away party then?”
Smiling in kind, Alex shook his head and zipped his finally packed bag. “Afraid not, but I do have a present for you.”
Kyle stood with a small hop, “I love me a present!”
Laughing, Alex handed Kyle a gold key and gave his cheek a light pat. “If you wanna stay here instead of your apartment, that’s okay with me. But I was hoping you’d at least come by once in a while and make sure the place is still standing.”
Kyle stared at the key, turning it over in his hand. “You’re not selling?”
Alex shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “Not yet. I might hate California. Who knows?”
“Good.”
Kyle smiled and Alex felt that ache in his chest again at his friend’s watery eyes. Kyle pulled him in by the shoulders and held him tight. Closing his eyes, Alex wrapped his arms around his friend and held on. With all the weight he’d been carrying lately, he forgot that there were some great things about Roswell. Kyle happened to be at the top of the list.
How times change.
Clearing his throat, Kyle let go first and grabbed a few of the bags in the room. “C’mon military, you’re gonna be late.”
Alex took a few moments to look around his bedroom once more. He’d miss it, for sure. His home would always be a space of pride and comfort, but it was time to move forward, not stay complacent in a life he barely chose.
Picking up the bags Kyle left, he headed out to his Jeep but froze at the familiar shape of Michael leaning against the passenger side door, cowboy hat dramatically covering his eyes. With a tilted eyebrow, Alex looked to Kyle who shrugged innocently and headed to his car with a final salute, Alex’s house key proudly in hand.
“Kyle called?”
Michael nodded. “Said you were skipping town.”
Tossing his bag in the back seat with a groan, Alex shut the door. “Just a transfer.”
“I’m coming with you.”
The blood rushed to Alex’s head as he steadied himself against the car. “Excuse me?”
Michael pushed the hat back and Alex saw how visibly upset Michael seemed to be. “I’m coming with you. I don’t wanna be where you aren’t, Alex.”
Alex bit his lip and turned his back, the image of his house blurring from his tears. “Why are you doing this, Guerin? Why now?”
“You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone, right?”
Alex tried catching his breath, desperately trying to organize his racing thoughts. Michael walked to stand in front of him, eyes soft and pleading, taking one of Alex’s hands. “Don’t leave me behind again.”
Swallowing past the burn in his throat, Alex brought his hands to either side of Michael’s face, thumbs brushing slowly and gently over his stubble. He watched in rapture as Michael’s eyes fluttered shut, his eyelashes spread against his pink cheeks. Leaning forward, he rested his head against Michael’s, overwhelmed by the feeling of finally being so close.
“I’ve never wanted to leave you behind.”
He felt Michael nod, the man’s hands wrapped tightly around Alex’s wrists. “Look at me, Michael.”
Gleaming, golden eyes looked through Alex and he knew, without a doubt, he’d always be in love with Michael Guerin.
“I love you.”
The small smile he received melted his heart, Michael looking so young and hopeful. “But I’m leaving. Alone.”
Stepping back, Michael’s jaw slid open as his eyes grew impossibly wide. “What?”
“You’ve found happiness here, Michael. Roswell is your home. You’re in a relationship. You’ve got friends. Good friends. You’re closer to Isobel and Max than you’ve ever been before. You’re happy.”
Michael went to speak but Alex shook his head and took his hands in his own. “You deserve to be happy and I can’t make you happy right now because I’m not happy. You deserve to be happy but so do I. And I’m gonna try to start in California. By myself.”
Michael remained frozen, hands limp in Alex’s. Sighing, Alex leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Michael’s cheek, whispering, “take care of yourself,” in his ear before smiling sadly and getting into his Jeep.
Alex waited until his tires kicked up sand to sob as he watched Michael unmoved in his driveway, hand coming to his mouth to try shoving the cries back inside.
This was the right thing. It was scary but it was the right thing.
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