#your life will be forever changed!!!!!!!!!
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"If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever." - Dalai Lama
Or as my philosophy teacher paraphrased it "If you can control the situation- change it and stop worrying about it. If the situation is out of your control and you can't change it - there is no point in worrying about it."
Changed my life forever.
the social norm of âits your ethical responsibility to be constantly aware of, and angry about, every bad thing happening in the world at all times, even if you canât possibly do anything about itâ is possibly the best way I can imagine to create burnout and cynicism and depression in a population, so good job guys
#and to the people who will start going âbut but but you have to spread awareness you have to participateâ please kindly shut up#with all the issues going in the world it is not physically possible to spread yourself so thin#we are the first generation to live in the era where tou have to worry not about yourself not about your town not about your country#BUT THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD AT THE SAME TIME#it. is not. humanly. possible.#you can engage in the issue closest to you of course#but at some point you just have to adopt a ânot my circuis not my monkeysâ attitude#otherwise the monkeys in your personal cuicuis will get rabid and break the bars#take care of yourselves âĄ#rb
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Whatâs crazy is you can just meet someone and have no idea theyâre going to change your life forever
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The First Meet - Self-Aware!Zayne
You fell asleep to the sound of Zaynes rapid typing as usual. Donât worry though heâll see you in the morning
Self-Aware!Zayne who is so in love with you that he can tell youâre getting sleepy just by the way youâre breathing changes. âIf youâre tired you can rest I'll be hereâ âIâm not asleepâ âYou will be soon I'll see you in the morning just get some rest��� You smiled at the thought of actually waking up next to him âCan you imagineâ a deep yawn escaped you âactually waking up next to me?â Self-Aware!Zayne who knew youâd already drifted off to sleep when he said âI wonât have to imagine soonâ he finished out his paper work while listening to your soft snores which were like music to his ears
That night you dreamt of snow covered fields stretching far into the distance. You looked down to see yourself in just the t-shirt you went to bed in âAm I lucid dreaming?â suddenly the wind picked up and snow began to whip past your face burning your cheeks and bare legs with the stinging cold as it went by. âIt's âŚ. so ⌠coldâ you thought to yourself as you looked around trying to see anything in the distance. If youâre dreaming why did this feel so real?
Just then you saw it, a small house off in the distance. You had no choice you were going to freeze to death if you stayed out here any longer. You started running towards the house, but no matter how many steps you took it was as if you werenât moving from the spot you were standing in.
Your feet were swept from underneath you as you fell face first into the icy snow. You tried to stand, but the snow seemed to hold onto you. You yanked at the phantom hands holding you down. Panic soon set in as your fighting attempts were seemingly in vain âHELP! PLEASE! ANYONE!â the snow muffled your final scream as your entire body was covered in heaps of snow.
You awoke with a sharp gasp and your heart trying to beat its way out of your chest. Once your heart rate finally went back to normal you looked around and noticed this âŚâŚ wasnât your room. Youâre so disoriented after that dream that you really hope this isnât one of those dreams where you woke up in another dream. âFuck whereâs my phone?â
âItâs back in your worldâ You froze mid search as fear set-in at the mere fact you werenât alone. You slowly turned your head in the direction of the very familiar voice. It was him. Zayne stood in the doorway holding a mug in his hand. You stared at him wide eyed and confused âIm dreaming I have to be dreamingâ You slapped the absolute shit out of yourself and fell back on the bed screaming in pain and you realized you were in fact awake.
âAre you okay?â Zayne rushed to you grabbing your face to inspect your self-inflicted wound âWhy on earth would you do that?â
âHOW ARE YOU HERE!?â You screamed in his face. Oh hell youâre starting to hyperventilate âThis isnât real this isn't real I wasâŚ.in my room how could IâŚ..â Your voice trailed off as you passed out in Zayneâs arms. He stared down at you with a smile on his face. âI told you I would see you in the morningâ He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead and held you until you woke up.
Hours laterâŚ.
Once Zayne got you to calm down enough to sit and have a conversation he explained how you are indeed in his world now.
Y/N: So you mean to tell me by you speaking to me we made all of this real?!
You waved your hand around to emphasize the fact that you are currently sitting in the living room of a fucking game. Everything looks so real it almost felt like you really were in another world and not just a developed game.
Zayne: I'm not sure exactly how it works but yes together we both made my world as real as yours Y/N: I canât stay here forever Zayne I have a life back in my world my friends and family will be worried sick Zayne: You can come and go here whenever you please Y/N: How exactly am I supposed to do that? Zayne: With my evol ⌠I can transport you to and from your world thatâs how I got you here Y/N: In that frozen deserted waste-land!? I thought I died! Zayne: Im sorry my love but thatâs the only way it works until we can figure out something else
You froze at hearing him call you his love. Your heart was racing just from those two simple words. You tried to speak, but no words were coming out. Zayne seemed to notice that he had you speechless and he took this moment to pull you closer and hook a finger under your chin. âDonât hate me Iâve been waiting so long to do thisâ He pressed the softest lingering kiss on your lips and you couldnât help the way you melted into him. âYou feel so realâ You whispered against his lips.
âI am realâ You stared deep into those endless green eyes. You dreamed of looking into these eyes and here you were. You caressed his cheek then gently pushed him back by his chest. You needed some kind of distance so you could process what was going on. "We're not done talking"
"I figured you would have more questions" He said as he draped an arm over the couch behind you. "Ask me anything"
#love and deepspace#lnds zayne#zayne x you#l&ds zayne#lads zayne#dr zayne#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x reader#doctor zayne#lnds#lads#Zayne salads#self aware love and deepspace salads#nikaaaaimagine
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Santa tell me ~
Today, we're asking Santa about this person's true feelings for you. Do they really care about you? Are they confused? Are they just not feeling it? Let Santa spill the tea for you. Of course, this reading is inspired by Ariana Grande's song, which you can happily listen to while reading your group's content.
Group 1
5 of swords, 4 of pentacles, 9 of cups, 8 of cups, The Tower, 2 of cups, back of the deck Strength
I get a very conflicting energy from this spread. One thing that came to my mind was that this person was not prepared for you to come into their life. And even though a part of them feels like you're a wish come true for them and they definitely feel the connection between you, a part of them can't help but to fear what it means and the implications of it. This person is torn between their heart and their mind. They feel strongly attached to you, in ways that they didn't anticipate. It's like they became attached too quickly and a part of them is like "woah hold on a second, this doesn't feel right". They kinda find it suspicious for some reason that they like you. A part of them doesn't want to admit they do. A part of them wishes they could move on from this connection and close the door, even though it felt magical and just so right. Despite their inner confusion, they feel very protective of you. And I feel like they're grateful that they met you. A part of them holds on to the hope that things could get better in the future but at the same time they doubt it. I also get the feeling that you came in this person's life at a time where they were feeling confused about their own life and kinda closed off. But you opened their eyes about a lot of things and gave them hope. This person was about to give up on a dream of theirs but you prevented them from doing so. This is a very specific message, I feel. You showed this person that life was worth fighting for and for that reason they will forever be grateful and hold you in high regards. You've completely changed this person's perspective and you definitely shocked them in more ways than you could imagine, which may be why they are a little scared of the connection. What they feel is potentially stronger than what they're used to. Maybe this person hadn't been in a relationship for a while and forgot what it was like to be loved. To be honest I feel like there's more to this than what we're shown here and I feel like pulling a couple more cards to get more information. You got the page of pentacles, 6 of wands, Magician and Queen of wands.
They feel happy that they met you because their life took a turn after meeting you. You contributed to this person's happiness and well being, as well as success to some extent. They feel like they owe you a lot. They're also curious and tempted to dive deeper into the connection. They definetely feel physically attracted to you. I feel like this person's feelings for you are quite recent. They developped over time. This person may have not considered you as a potential partner in the past. You may have fell for this person first but they fell harder, I'm getting. I get this feeling of "I did not realize how much importance you had for me until I lost you". For some of you, I'm getting that you cut ties with this person or made a move that really opened their eyes about how you felt about them but most importantly about how they felt towards you. They took you for granted. I feel like, more than how they feel towards you, we're being shown how they feel thanks to you. It's like this person is focused on their own self and not really on you at the moment. They like how you make them feel more than they like you. And I feel like part of this is because this person didn't like themselves much in the past. They are learning to love themselves more thanks to you. So to some degree they feel some kind of affection towards you because of that but I don't feel like this goes any deeper.
Oracle cards | Speak truth, The Outlaw, The Wildling, back of the deck Fate
This person may contact you in the near future to reveal to you certain information that seems to be meaningful to your connection. For some, they may be trying to understand why you cut ties with them or why you said the things you told them. I'm also getting a message of them wanting to travel to gain clarity. Maybe this person is going to tell you that they would like to take their distances as well. But with the Wildling and Fate card I got a feeling like this person had an epiphany about your connection and is wanting to fight for it. Maybe they understand that part of your fate is to separate ways for a time so that you can both better assess what you want out of this connection. Again I got that feeling of curiousity and protectiveness we spoke about earlier. They feel intrigued but also challenged. Being with you, I feel, asks of them a lot of courage and stepping out of their comfort zone which they are not comfortable with at the moment. With all those swords, it gives me that kind of "up in the air" feeling. Kinda like static electricity. There's a tension between you that has not been resolved. It gives me unfinished business vibes. Like maybe you didn't really get the chance to get this relationship going so you both feel puzzled and at a loss as to what this means for you. Really, a lot of confusion surrounding this person's energy.
Group 2
The Lovers rx, Chariot, King of pentacles, 4 of pentacles, Queen of cups, The Empress, back of the deck Judgement
As soon as I started to get the first cards, I heard very clearly "I made a choice. I don't mean to disrespect you but I love myself more.". The cards tell me that, as much as this person likes you, they decided to move on from the connection. This asked a lot of thinking but most importantly a lot of courage. It was not an easy decision to make. This person felt like their stability was being put at risk in your presence and they valued it too much to let it be threatened by something or someone else. This spread really gives me a "I chose myself over you" vibe. I also got the message that this person chose their career over you. I heard "now I see clearly". It's not that they didn't love you. The feelings were there. But they were not as strong as this person's love for themselves or commitment to their job. I feel like this person got really sad making this choice because they appreciate you a lot and you mattered a lot to them. And they don't want to hurt you. I really get a feeling of this person wanting to protect you at all costs but also being in a difficult position because they don't feel safe in this connection. They give me this message of "I need to protect myself and that includes taking my distances from you". This person wants me to tell you that they truly respect you and that they were genuine every time they interacted with you. They want me to assure you that it was never their intention to play with you or manipulate you. They want you to know that them not choosing you shouldn't make you doubt yourself and your beauty. I'm getting the message of "I don't want you to blame yourself for what happens". They don't want you to think that you're not loveable or worthy of a connection because they honestly think that you are beautiful and adorable. I don't know why but the imagery of the 4 of pentacles gave me the impression of someone saying "you'll always be dear to my heart".
Oracle cards | Strength, Movement, Paradox, back of the deck withdraw
It took a lot of time before this person came to the conclusion that they should move on from your connection. Part of this decision could have been influenced by their family or their ancestry. But it could also have been triggered by a significant change in their life. Specifically, I am picking up on someone's career evolving and needing more effort and attention. Like maybe they got a promotion or they were asked to move to a bigger company or to go abroad. And these circumstances were just not compatible with being in a relationship with you. And to this person it was hard because a part of them knows that you are connected and that your meeting happened for a reason. So they were thinking like "why did I meet this person only to have to turn my back on them?". It didn't make sense to them at first but now they know that they have to focus on themselves and retreat their energy, no matter how painful that may be. A part of them hopes that you can understand this decision and that you won't hold grudges against them. Also I feel like a part of them hopes that in the future their circumstances will change and allow them to come back to you, but that possibility is too unsure and they feel like they cannot bet on that.
Group 3
4 of cups, The Star, The Sun, 10 of swords, Hierophant, 3 of wands, back of the deck 5 of wands
This person is a bit guarded around you but the truth is they like you more than they let on. Part of the reason why they are guarded is because they're a bit emotionally unavailable, still affected by past experience. But this person is really intrigued by you. Usually, in the 4 of cups cards, the character depicted is not paying attention to the cup that's offered. But here, the character is curiously looking at it and completely ignoring the other 3 cups. So this tells me that even if other people may be interested in your person, they only have eyes for you. They feel like you complement them well. They're also physically attracted to you. They feel competitive around you, like they have to prove themselves at all costs. This person feels hopeful when it comes to you. Even though they're scared and still hurt, they envision a bright future with you and they are genuinely considering you as a potential partner. They want to get closer to you, get to know you on a personal level. Right now they may be keeping things very light and try to appear as disinterested but certain actions may betray them. This may be someone that you interact with on social media a lot. They think that you're attractive and a lot of people may be interested in you. Which adds to their competitive spirit. Also part of the reason why they're drawn to you is because of how different you are. You and this person may come from different cultures or social backgrounds. They feel connected to you to some extent and though they envision you as a potential partner they may actually be afraid of commitment. So this person may be a bit wishy washy at times. They're making a lot of plans in their head and trying to imagine how they can navigate their way to you. They're slowly tapping into their feelings for you and trying to understand them.
Oracle cards | The Explorer, Nature, Get Creative, back of the deck Patience
I get the message that you inspire this person a lot. Their feelings for you allows them to create various things. Especially if they are an artist or enjoy art as their hobby, you may be this person's muse. When they go on walks, this person thinks about you a lot. I get the message that they only truly allow themselves to think of you and daydream about you when they're alone. This is when they can fully explore the depths of the connection and try to figure out what it means to them. When this person is alone, they're having a lot of fantasies of you. This is when they feel the most connected to you, because they don't let their ego stand in the way in such moments. I feel like this person is truly being themselves only when no one's around. In public, they may try to act tough and pretend that they don't like you. This may be a defense mechanism. This may be very specific but I get the message that this person may have been bullied in the past because of what and who they loved. This is a trauma that this person has to heal. With the patience card, I get the feeling that it will take time for them to fully come to terms with how they feel towards you and where they want things to go exactly. Because I feel like for now, this person doesn't really dare to dream of a future with you, even if they strongly feel pulled towards you. This may be because of societal expectations or pressure being put on their shoulders by their loved ones.
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not to hijack this post, but I feel like this is also a reason why expecting high school students to know what career path they want straight out of high school is a huge ask. How are you expected to know what type of career environment youâd enjoy if the most youâve experienced is *maybe* a part-time customer service job?
Obviously my experience isnât everyoneâs, but i was having anxiety attacks towards the end of high school bc i had no idea what i wanted to do with my life, and while adults were telling me *now* that itâs ok to just pick something and change my mind later, my whole life until then iâd been told that 1) college was the only real option after high school if you want a decent life, 2) college is really hard to get into if you take a gap year, and 3) what you choose as your major in college will be your forever career and determines the rest of your lifeâs path.
Quite frankly, I just wasnât ready to make that kind of decision, and that ended in constant breakdowns bc it felt like my inability to pick a major (the biggest decision of my life) was going to ruin the rest of my life. It took getting an associates at community college (in something that did not become my career), working a few different jobs, and experiencing living on my own before i was able to even start making long-term career decisions.
tldr; in addition to OPâs point, normalize the idea that itâs ok to take some time and get some adult experiences of the world before choosing a long-term career path, and start doing so at a young age.
When you're a kid/teenager everyone expects you to base your career around your passions and interests and that works for a lot of people but it's not the full story. I wish they would also teach students to consider the lifestyle that career would require.
Like... if I had to choose a passion and work a career around it, I would probably work at a zoo or aquarium. But those jobs require a lot of schooling with STEM classes (which I hate) and a lot of early mornings (which make me feel ill) and an obligation to work in person with no flexibility to move (which makes me depressed). So even if I'd enjoy caring for animals all day, it's not a good career path for me.
My current job is travel writing, which is not my passion. I like it, but it's not my passion. But I work a flexible schedule, I can live anywhere, I get a travel stipend, and my team is really chill. So it works for me.
Rather than solely focusing on "What topics do you like?" I think we should ask students "Of the careers that suit your preferred lifestyle, which are the most interesting?"
#sorry if this is off-topic OP but your post made me think about it and itâs something i feel strongly about#I feel like thereâs a connection to be had
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TAKE ME BACK
contents â
ex!geto x fem!reader, angst to fluff, exes then back to lovers, slightly ooc geto (?), 1.2k+ wc. requested for my milestone event. author's message â
trying a new layout for this one :3 i honestly love this color combo plus these are my favorite colors ever <333
event m.list â
jjk m.list
seeing your ex boyfriend suguru for the first time after the breakup left you with mixed feelings of both familiarity and unfamiliarity. in terms of appearance, he hadnât really changed. he looked pretty much the same way as you left him except his jet black hair had gotten longer. however, something about his aura had changed. you werenât exactly sure what it was, you just had a feeling that it wasnât the same as before, it was a tad bit softer, more gentle, and it made you feel as if you were being in the presence of a completely different person.
tension began to rise as awkward silence filled the atmosphere around you. it was excruciating and you had a hard time breathing, your heart clenched painfully. you were anxious and nervous.
yet despite all that, deep down inside your heart was a part of you that wanted to see suguru again, which grew bigger when it actually happened, you were quite happy to see him again after all that time.
if you were being completely honest, you had never been able to move on from him. so in other words, you still had feelings for him. and if he ever asked you to get back together, you would do it in a heartbeat without a single hint of hesitation.
you knew he wouldnât though, and these were only wishful thoughts on your part. because you were pretty sure things between you and him had ended once and for good that day. showing no signs of a reconciliation.
âyou havenât changed at all.â your eyes widened slightly, it was as if he was reading your mind. was it some sort of telepathy or something? you didnât know. his voice pierced through your ears, and it got you thinking that his tone hadnât changed in the slightest. his voice was still as soft as it could be.
âyou too, sugâgeto.â you almost called him by the nickname you gave him back when he was your boyfriend, but quickly realized and changed to his last name. however, it didnât feel right to you. it felt so forced, simply because his nickname used to roll off your lips ever so effortlessly, your tongue was so used to the sound of âsuguâ as it rolled out naturally. so when you forced it to say his last name instead, it came off weird.
suguru chuckled, a somewhat sad smile made its way onto his face upon hearing his last name rolling over your lips. the sound of it felt foreign to his ears as it reminded him that you two werenât in the kind of relationship that allowed you to be on a nickname basis anymore. it hurt him, and it hurt him deep.
because truth be told, he too, still loved you. he tried his hardest to move on with his life, he went out with many girls, and he even went as far as to sleep with them in desperate attempts to forget all about you as if heâd never met you. but to his misfortune, his attempts never worked out. you were simply unforgettable to him, he could never erase you from his heart even if he wanted to.
he had left his heart with you on the day you called it quits, and couldnât manage to get it back to give it to someone else.
you felt as if time was frozen, and you were stuck in yet another prolonged moment of silence. with just you and suguru together, no one else.
your mind was constantly telling you to run away, to not look back and leave him behind. that you were better off without him. but your emotions took control over your actions as your heart refused to let your body move, and you remained still in your spot.
âi canât believe i let you go,â suguru spoke for the first time in what seemed like forever, breaking that thick layer of silence. âi was such a fool, wasnât i?â
his regretful tone caught you by surprise, you couldnât believe that it was possible for suguru to regret a decision he made. yet there he was, spilling out his regrets in front of you.
you slowly parted your lips open, thinking of what to say back to him.
âisnât it a little too late for that?â
that wasnât what you wanted to say, you wanted to say that you missed him, that you still loved him, that you wanted to get back together with him.
but your mind was too quick to react. you wished you could take back what you said, but it was too late for that.
âmaybe⌠but if iâm being honest with myself, i still love you. actually, i donât think iâve ever stopped loving you once.â you watched suguru admit that he still had feelings for you in utter disbelief. it was the last thing you expected to hear from him. how he looked at you while he was talking and how earnest he sounded were enough proof that he was being sincere and genuine, he meant every single word he said.
suguru on the other hand, felt some sort of relief washing over him after finally letting his suppressed feelings for you out of his chest. he didnât know if he would ever get another chance to see you again, so he was more than determined to win you back. it wasnât guaranteed that you would allow him in your life once again, but he was still willing to give it his all.
âso please just,â he paused momentarily, taking a deep breath before proceeding. âtake me back to you.â it sounded as if he was pleading, perhaps he was indeed pleading. he was just desperate at that point as this was his last resort. but he didnât care if he seemed desperate, he was able to put his pride aside and show you his weak side. to suguru, if showing his vulnerability to you was the price he had to pay for him to get you back, then so be it.
âyou idiot, of course iâd take you back. i wouldnât want to be with anyone who wasnât you, i will always love you.â
that sole sentence was enough to bring you to tears because of how moving it was. you immediately run towards him and throw yourself in his arms as you wrapped your arms tightly around him as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, holding onto him for dear life. his body slightly flinched under your touch, but quickly reacted as his strong arms pulled you closer to him. your bodies were so close that you could feel the warmth of one another.
âwelcome back, sugu.â you said in between your sobbing, finally allowing his name roll off your lips ever so easily. he smiled upon hearing his nickname being said as he gave the top of your head a series of small, tender pecks.
âyeah, iâm back home.â he hummed softly against your ear.
suguru had been lost for so long, but at last he was finally back to where he belonged, to you, his home.
đđ taglist: @unriding @lxnarphase @sylusdoll @itachiiwrites @itoshivy @17020 @creamflix @luv-lies @suguru-getos ( @gothsuguru + @hiraethwrote special tags for you my loves since you asked me about it )
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#suguru geto#geto suguru#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#geto x reader#suguru x reader#jjk angst#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen angst#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk fic#jjk imagines#jjk fanfic#getou suguru x reader
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what ever happened to (y/n)? | reader x yandere! capitano
summary: you ran off into the woods and were never the same.
contact warning: reader has a breakdown??? I'm not sure
you were once lively. you were affection - and you were the sweetest woman the captain knew and for that very reason, he loved you.
you were so many loveable things but now, you were a shell of your former self. you were always sulking, always so silent and the captain grieved the loss of who you once were.
he still loved you but he missed you dearly.
things just haven't been the same since you ran off into the woods that one night.
it wasn't as if you had ill intent, the captain knew you, surely you were going out to enjoy yourself for the evening but perhaps you got lost and couldn't find your way back.
whatever happened during those two days alone in the woods had changed you.
the captain would forever hate himself for not finding you sooner; for not saving you in time. if only he had gone with you, perhaps things would have turned out differently.
"(y/n)," there was a knock on your door, a gentle one, so as to not startle you. you wouldn't reply, or tell him to come in but you've been so jumpy as of recently, that it only felt right to knock.
after a moment, he opened the door and stepped inside. you slept comfortably in the middle of your large bed, accompanied by many fluffy pillows to keep you comfortable.
sleeping was the only time you seemed at peace.
the captain would give anything for you to be at peace again, anything.
slowly, the captain stepped forward and sat at the edge of your bed, watching as you rested.
and everything the quiet.
and it was peaceful. the captain wondered what you dreamt of. the beast? him? of your old life?
not that any of it mattered, no, not when you arose abruptly, screaming, throwing yourself off of the bed, trying to escape, as if he were some beast.
the captain stood, "(y/n)," the captain called out, "it's me, I'm no beast," he tried to talk sense into but you seemed out of him, blinded by your terror.
you ran to the door without hesitation, screaming for help as you ran through the dark halls and down the stairs. the captain remained where he stood - he did not want to make matters worse.
oh (y/n), the captain grieved, he missed you dearly.
there was no one to help you, no, all the staff had gone home for the weekend but you were unaware of that.
"please! help me!" you wailed, stumbling down the staircase and to the front door, grabbing the door knob you were met with resistance, "help! there's a monster! it's here, it's here! it'll-"
the captain slowly stepped down the staircase and watched as your face contorted into a look of absolute horror, the screams that came from you pierced his ears.
perhaps if he had done things differently, this wouldn't have happened. perhaps if he had done things differently, you wouldn't have felt the need to run off into the woods.
oh (y/n).
"(y/n)," he repeated once more, remaining at the bottom of the staircase, refusing to step closer, refusing to make matters worse, "you're safe."
you slumped down against the door, cowering. you tried to guard yourself, protect yourself from what was soon to happen. surely the beast would eat you this time.
"please. please don't-"
"I'm not going to hurt. I would not do that to you," the captain tried to assure you but he doubted his words held any weight.
"please... please... don't."
"do you not recognize me, (y/n)? I'm no beast, I am capitano."
that caught your attention. lifting your head, you looked at him, acknowledged you, and saw him. it was capitano, no beast.
slowly, with trembling legs, you stood and and approached the captain, collapsing in his arms and the captain held you.
he missed you.
he missed this.
and he wanted you back.
you, who you once were.
#yandere x reader#yandere genshin impact#yandere#yandere scenarios#capitano x reader#capitano#yandere capitano#yandere capitano x reader
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BUSTING MYTHS WIDE OPEN.
welcome to chapter five of HRRTSHAPEâS series: REMINDERS FOR WHEN YOUâRE DOUBTING SHIFTING. in this episode, iâm going to be helping setting the record straight once and for all. shifting gets so wrapped up in drama, false promises, and tiktok-worthy mysticism, but the tea is piping and grounded in reality.Â
đĽťÂ MYTH #1. PEOPLE IN YOUR DR ARE WAITING FOR YOU.Â
FALSE. RING DING DING DING DING !! they are not hosting a welcome party. the moment you shift, youâre simply waking up AS that version of yourself. youâre already living thereâyour dr self is mid-life, mid-moment, just existing like, âoh, hey.â nothing changes for them when you shift; itâs like jumping into a running movie as one of the actors.
đĽťÂ MYTH #2. YOU HAVE TO WALK THROUGH A PORTAL LIKE ITâS A FANTASY NOVEL.
FALSE. no magic keys, mirrors, or coraline-esque portals here. shifting is subtle AFâone minute youâre in your cr (current reality), and the next, BOOM, youâre THERE. the "travel" part is internal, and your consciousness just movesto a different layer of reality. itâs like going from one dream to another, except itâs fully lucid and intentional.
đĽťÂ MYTH #3. YOU HAVE TO VISUALISE EVERYTHING PERFECTLY OR IT WONâT WORK.Â
FALSE. perfection is a scam. you donât have to memorise your script word-for-word or see your dr in 8K HD. intent and focus are what matter. even if your visualisation feels a little blurry, as long as you know where youâre headed, youâre fine. itâs not about artistic talent; itâs about aligning your energy.
đĽťÂ MYTH #4. IF YOU SHIFT, YOU MIGHT NEVER COME BACK.
FALSE. BABE, RELAX. you arenât tethered to your cr, or your dr, or to any other existing reality. shifting isnât a âbye foreverâ situation unless you specifically decide to make it one. and even then, you can return to your cr if you choose.
đĽťÂ MYTH #5. YOUâLL FEEL LIKE A STRANGER IN YOUR DR BECAUSE ITâS NEW.
FALSE. youâre already you in your dr. youâre not âvisitingâ or âstarting fresh.â youâre syncing with a version of yourself thatâs already in the thick of it. the memories, relationships, and vibes are already thereâitâs like waking up after a nap and slipping back into life.
đĽťÂ MYTH #6. SHIFTING ONLY WORKS IF YOU USE [INSERT WHATEVER TRENDY METHOD HERE].Â
FALSE. the julia method? the pillow method? THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE THING??? cute names, but you donât need any specific method to shift. methods are tools, not rules. what works for you might be completely different, and thatâs okay. some people use visualisation, some use meditation, whatever, whatever. but you donât neeeeeeeeeeeed any of those.
đĽťÂ MYTH #7. YOU CANâT SCRIPT [BLA BLA BLA] BECAUSE ITâS UNREALISTIC.Â
FALSE. sis, youâre literally shifting into another reality. the concept of ârealisticâ goes out the window. wanna live in hogwarts? have 300 million followers? be married to your celebrity crush? WRITE IT DOWN. youâre the architect; there are no limits except the ones you believe in.
đĽťÂ MYTH #8. IF YOU DONâT FEEL SYMPTOMS, YOUâRE DOING IT WRONG.
FALSE. mind you, most âsymptomsâ are just your body falling asleep. not everyone gets tingles, vibrations, or floaty feelings. some people feel absolutely nothing before they shift. you donât need a dramatic broadway show to prove itâs working. sometimes, itâs as simple as poofâyouâre there.
đĽťÂ MYTH #9. YOU CANâT SHIFT IF YOU DOUBT IT WORKS.
FALSE. doubts happen; itâs part of being human. shifting doesnât require unwavering faithâit requires action. you can shift even if youâre unsure, as long as you stay open to the possibility. itâs about persistence, not perfection.
đĽťÂ MYTH #10. YOUR DR WONâT FEEL AS REAL AS YOUR CR.
FALSE. your dr is just as vivid, tangible, and sensory-rich as your cr. you can touch, taste, hear, and live it all with the same intensity. the only reason your cr feels âmore realâ is because youâre used to it. once you shift, your dr is your new âreal.â
đĽťÂ MYTH #11. SHIFTING TAKES WEEKS OR MONTHS TO MASTER.
FALSE. time? who? shifting is as quick as your mind allows. some people shift within hours, while others take longer because theyâre still working through doubts or fears. thereâs no universal timeline, so stop comparing yourself.
đĽťÂ MYTH #12. IF YOU FAILL, YOUâLL NEVER SHIFT.
FALSE. failing isnât the endâitâs just part of the process. youâre learning what works for you. every failed attempt brings you closer to that sweet, sweet click where everything aligns. KEEP. TRYING.
đĽťÂ MYTH #13. YOUR CR SELF WILL DIE (OR BE IN A COMA STATE) WHEN YOU SHIFT.
FALSE. dark much? your cr self doesnât âdie.â nor does it go into a coma until you come back. itâs still there, chilling, doing what you do in your cr. shifting is about expanding, not erasing. think of it like opening multiple tabs in your browserâyouâre not closing one, just switching focus.
đĽťÂ MYTH #14. YOU HAVE TO HAVE A SCRIPT.
FALSE. scripts are very much optional. theyâre a great tool if you like structure, but not a requirement. if you can visualise or simply feel your dr in your heart, youâre golden. the universe doesnât care if you wrote an essay or not.
đĽťÂ MYTH #15. YOUR CR AND DR SELVES WILL COLLIDE OR MIX UP.
FALSE. theyâre like parallel lines. each version of you exists in its own reality without crashing into the other. youâre not gonna accidentally bring dr memories into cr unless you script it or focus on retaining them. and no, your s/o wonât somehow gift you a necklace, and you bring it back. thatâs impossible. unless you want to script/visualise your s/o gifting a necklace you have in your cr already ! then thatâs just cute.
đĽťÂ MYTH #16. SHIFTING IS DANGEROUS.
FALSE. fear-mongering alert! shifting is a mental and spiritual practice, like meditation or lucid dreaming. youâre just expanding your consciousness, not diving into the upside down. you wonât die, okay? pinky promise.
đĽťÂ MYTH #17. YOU HAVE TO MEDITATE FOR HOURS IN ORDER TO SHIFT.
FALSE. meditation is great, but itâs not the secret sauce. you donât need to be a zen master, sitting cross-legged and humming for hours. shifting can happen in any stateâfalling asleep, daydreaming, even while scrolling tiktok.Â
đĽťÂ MYTH #18. SHIFTING WILL MESS UP YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.Â
FALSE. breathe, sweetheart. shifting is all about tapping into your consciousness and aligning with your desiresâitâs not inherently harmful. if you have mental health struggles, be mindful and donât overexert yourself, but shifting itself is NOT going to send you spiralling. itâs a tool, not a trap.
đĽťÂ MYTH #19. IF YOU SHIFT TO THE SAME DR MULTIPLE TIMES, YOUâLL MESS IT UP.
FALSE. youâre not gonna âbreakâ your dr like itâs a glitchy video game. every time you shift back, itâs as if youâve never left. your dr self is simply carrying on as normal, living life. thereâs no limit to how many times you can shift to the same place.
đĽťÂ MYTH #20. YOUR DR WONâT FEEL EMOTIONAL OR PERSONAL.
FALSE. drs are INTENSELY personal! youâll feel everythingâlove, joy, anger, heartbreakâjust like in your cr. your emotions and connections in your dr are as real as any youâve ever experienced. in fact, they might feel more real because theyâre so aligned with your intentions.
đĽťÂ MYTH #21. YOU CAN ONLY SHIFT TO PERSONAL WORLDS.
FALSE. fictional, historical, modern-day, or even made-up worldsâthe choice is yours. wanna date a 1950s movie star (like yours truly)? live in a vampire manor? rule 15th-century france? ALL OF THE ABOVE? go for it. youâre not limited by genre or category.
đĽťÂ MYTH #22. YOU HAVE TO LIE COMPLETELY STILL TO SHIFT.
FALSE. really thought we left this one in 2020 shifttok catastrophe, but some people might still think this !!! DONâT !!!! while some people prefer stillness to focus, others shift while lying on their sides, curled up like a shrimp, or even mid-fidget. your body doesnât have to be frozen in rigor mortis for shifting to happen. comfort = key.
đĽťÂ MYTH #23. YOUâLL FORGET YOUR CR COMPLETELY WHEN YOU SHIFT BACK.
FALSE. you wonât wake up in your dr like, âwho am i? where am i? WHO ARE YOU?â youâll know exactly whatâs going on because YOU scripted or envisioned this. your cr memories donât just evaporate. although there might be a small chance that you forget your class schedule if you shift for more than a week. no biggies.Â
đĽťÂ MYTH #24. SHIFTING IS ONLY FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE.
FALSE. shifting is for EVERYONE. if youâve got a consciousness, youâre qualified. thereâs no secret society or elite clubâitâs about your personal journey. period.
đĽťÂ MYTH #25. YOU HAVE TO BE IN A CERTAIN MOOD OR MINDSET TO SHIFT.
FALSE. it helps to be calm and focused, but you donât need to be all sunshine and rainbows. bad day? feeling a little meh? you can STILL shift. energy fluctuates, and thatâs normal.
đĽťÂ MYTH #26. WELL, YOU CANâT SHIFT IF YOUâRE TIREDâŚ.
FALSE. in fact (đ¤âď¸), tiredness can HELP because your brain is more relaxed and closer to a meditative state. sleepy vibes = prime shifting conditions for a lot of people.
đĽťÂ MYTH #27. IF YOU DONâT SHIFT WITHIN X AMOUNT OF TRIES, YOU NEVER WILL.
FALSE. consistency is key. some people shift after one attempt, and others take months. thereâs no deadline or expiration date on your potential to shift. keep showing up, and itâll happen. you can start shifting today. right now.Â
đĽťÂ MYTH #28. YOU CAN ONLY SHIFT IF YOUâRE ALONE.
FALSE. sure, privacy might help you focus, but itâs not a requirement. people have shifted in shared rooms, busy homes, and even school libraries. the world doesnât have to go silent for you to get your dream life.
đĽťÂ MYTH #29. YOUR âDR SELFâ WILL BE CONFUSED BY YOUR PRESENCE.
FALSE. your dr self IS you. thereâs no awkward âum, who are you?â âiâm XXX, who are you?â moment. youâre literally sliding into a version of yourself that already exists there, seamlessly. itâs not invasion of the body snatchers.
đĽťÂ MYTH #30. YOUR BODY IN YOUR CR WILL FEEL EMPTY WHILE YOUâRE IN YOUR DR.
FALSE. this oneâs giving creepy, but nope, your cr body will feel normal. whether youâre asleep or awake, itâs still alive and well, just chilling while your consciousness explores elsewhere. think of it as your body being on autopilot while you take a vacay.
đĽťÂ MYTH #31. YOUâLL GET STUCK IF YOU SHIFT TOO LONG.
FALSE. thereâs always a way back. whether itâs scripted (a safe word, etc.) or just you deciding to wake up in your cr, youâre not trapped in your dr. YOU hold the power to move between realities.
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â°â⤠satoru gojo x reader // reader self insert // prologue here
â°â⤠like ghosts in the snow // synopsis: Nearly three years ago, Reader vanished from the jujutsu world without a trace. Guarding a secret that could upend both the life sheâs built and the one she left behind, sheâs taken refuge in a quiet, snowy mountain cottage on the other side of the world. But the past canât stay buried forever, and the ghosts she's tried to avoid are beginning to stir.
â°â⤠CH 1 TWs: male masturbation, explicit sexual content, graphic descriptions of sex, original characters used, secret pregnancy, mention of young children, mention of past character death, possible manga spoilers, blah blah blah. enjoy :)
â side note before we dig in! I know y'all hate a YN so the reader has been given a random japanese name. welcome to ur new life as Shiori Myoji :)
You sat alone in your cabin, staring at the flickering fire. The wind howled outside, shaking the windows and piling snow high against the panes. You barely noticed. Winter had come early this year, though the townsfolk chalked it up to the unpredictable nature of the mountains. You held a half-empty teacup, the liquid long since gone cold. Your fingers trembled slightly as you gripped its handle, though you told yourself it was just from the chill in the air.Â
The fire crackled on, and your thoughts drifted like smoke, pulling you backward through time as you stared into the hypnotizing flames.
âŚ
The first time you saw Satoru Gojo as human was at the ceremony following Suguruâs death, a private event held at Tokyo Jujutsu High after hours. There werenât many guests, but the crowd was big enough that he hadnât seen you at first. Youâd stood at the edge, out of the way, your umbrella shielding you from the rain pouring down like the sky was in mourning, too.Â
You hadnât planned to approach him. What could you have said? The strongest sorcerer in the world, staring at the ground as though he could will himself to fall through itâ what words could you possibly offer? Anything that crossed your mind felt hollow, tasted meaningless on your tongue.Â
Yet, still, you approached. Those bright blue eyes had landed on you and you were drawn in, like a moth to flame. Your feet were moving before you realized what youâd done.Â
âShi-chan, youâre staring,â he chided, his voice sounding hollow. âDidnât think you cared.â
âI donât,â you replied, aware that you both knew it was a lie.
It always was.
He smiled, soft but genuineâ like he was just grateful for your company. You nodded, letting him take what he wanted from the gesture.Â
The relationship youâd had after wasnât supposed to mean anything. A week of stolen moments, grief shared in the only way either of you knew how. You sought solace in each otherâs arms, filling the empty spaces that Suguru had left behind. You told yourself that it wasnât real, that it was just a way to cope. Was that a lie, too?Â
That week had changed everything. And two months later, when you realized you were pregnant, you knew that there was no going back.Â
âŚ
The sound of Haruto stirring in his sleep pulled you back to the present. The cabinâs quiet stillness wrapped tightly around you as you set down your teacup, your fingers still slightly shaking as you stepped toward your sleeping son, curled around his stuffed rabbit. He was so small, so peacefulâ and yet, every time you looked at him, it was like staring into the past. Your big, scary past.Â
His hair, white as the snow outside⌠his eyes, that same piercing shade of blue that gazed at you from across classrooms, found you in crowded hallways buried deep in your memory⌠Sometimes, if you looked at him just right, he even had his fatherâs stubborn smirk. Sometimes it was enough to make your heart ache.Â
You didnât regret leavingâ you wouldnât let yourself. Youâd made the choice for Haruto, for Satoru, for humanityâ he deserved a childhood free from the crushing weight of the Gojo name, free from the dangers of being born into a world of curses. And SatoruâŚ
He didnât need the burden of fatherhood, another anchor to his already heavy chains.Â
He didnât stop you when you left.
Your breath caught in your throat. You told yourself not to think about him, not to wonder where he was or what he was doing. Youâd left him behind, youâd left everything behind, but the truth lingered. Sharp and bitter in the back of your throat. Youâd run because you were afraid. Afraid for the part of you that wanted to believe that Satoru might have chosen you and the life growing inside of you over everything else.Â
But youâd seen the threads of fate. Tangled, cruel, impossible to ignore. You left because you couldnât bear to watch him choose the world over you.Â
âŚ
The fire snapped sharply, loud enough to make you jump. The flames cast dancing shadows against the walls, and you felt a familiar prickling at your scalp as you watched them move. It wasn't a vision, but a feeling, a suggestion that something may be on the horizon. You closed your eyes, trying to will fateâs whisper into a conversation, but it remained quietâ imperceptible. Glimpses came to you in flickering waves, an apparition at the edge of your mind⌠someone tall, broad-shouldered, with eyes like the skyâŚ
Your chest tightened as you pushed the thought away with a gasp, forcing yourself to focus on the crackling fire and the sound of howling wind outside.Â
âShi-chan,â an older voice called softly from the adjoining room. âAre you still awake? Itâs well past midnight.â
âAya-san,â you replied, withdrawing your hand from your sonâs hair. âDid I wake you?â
âNo, child. The storm did.â Aya stepped lightly into the room, moving with the ease of someone used to late-night watches. She lowered herself onto the armchair by Haruto, dimming the table lamp and casting soft shadows across her face.Â
Aya Takahashi, formerly Zeninâ sheâd sought an escape from the troubling world of jujutsu, same as you. Born into the infamous Zenin clan with a powerful technique, she had built her life around the expectations of her lineage⌠until she met her late husband. He was a non-sorcerer whom she'd fallen in love with devastatingly quickly. Their love was defiant in the eyes of the Zenins, and Aya chose him over their approval. They ran away together, knowing the cost of their love, only for her spiteful relatives to come for them both, bringing their marriage to a sudden, violent end.Â
Aya lost her husband that day.
She ran away to this sleepy, mountainside town out west, hoping that its wild, untamed cursed energy would mask her signature. For thirty years, she had been successful. When she came across you and Haruto, barely ten months old at the time, she saw herself in your struggle, and she knew... she couldnât walk away.Â
And gods bless her soul, she didnât.
Aya had become such an unassuming yet steady presence in your lifeâa former sorceress who had left her old life behind and found solace in this small, secluded town just like you had.
The arrangement had begun with practicality, but Ayaâs quiet strength and experience had turned her into a figure of comfort, almost a guardian. Her motherly tendencies extended to you as much as to Haruto, though she rarely showed her cards outright.
Aya studied you for a moment, her expression knowing. âSomething tells me you havenât slept yet,â she hummed, reaching to turn on the television as if to settle in for a watchful night.
You studied her with a hint of reluctance, knowing exactly what she intended. âAya-san, you really donât have toââ
âGo and rest, Shiori.â Her voice was gentle, but her tone left no room for debate. âIâll be here if the boy wakes.â
âBut Iâ,â
The look she gave you, one full of quiet insistence, spoke louder than any further protests you could make.
With a resigned sigh, you shook your head and accepted the fate sheâd laid out for you, the comfort of her presence an unspoken balm. You relented and bid her goodnight, resting a comforting hand on Harutoâs little head before walking away.Â
...
In Tokyo, Satoru Gojo was feeling a similar kind of anxiety.Â
Ryomen Sukuna had a vessel. The thought of it alone made his jaw clench tightly. It was unprecedented, unpredictable, and as far as he was concerned, a major pain in the ass. There were no protocols for this sort of thingâ well, maybe one, but that was the last thing he wanted. âI canât let them kill him,â he muttered to himself, tone sharp as nails. âHeâs just a kid.â
He leaned back in his office chair, staring out at the Tokyo skyline with mild interest. His head pulsed with a day-old migraine as he studied the tiny flares of cursed energy erupting in short bursts across the city's grid. The presence of curses and the activity of curse users had become more erratic than usual, flickering in the depths of the city like embers waiting to be ignited. It had only gotten worse since Sukuna's fingers entered the equation; like all of Japan was holding its breath. Even with his technique, Satoru was struggling to keep up with the endless spikes of energy on the horizon. His head throbbed, his senses constantly assaulted until finally, he pulled the blinds closed.Â
Satoru sighed. He hadn't been this on edge in a very long time, not since...
He dismissed the thought, reaching for a bottle of painkillers nearby and rattling it in a last-ditch effort to dull the throbbing in his skull. He popped two in his mouth and swallowed them dry before running a broad palm over his face, a low groan slipping out as he reached his lips. "This is fucking stupid," he muttered, voice muffled by his hand.
With a sigh, he pushed himself out of the chair and stretched his long arms above his head, joints stiff and aching from too many hours of vigilance and too little rest. He hated to even consider leaving campus, knowing that Yuuji-- no. Sukuna was here. Yuuji had done well in controlling the king of curses since they had started training, but the thought of leaving him alone still left Satoru uneasy. Could he really turn his back on him?...
Yes, he decided, as his eyes caught sight of his phone screen flashing the time: 3:55pm. He hadn't slept a wink in over 40 hours, a reckless oversight even by his standards. His Six Eyes needed rest, and he'd be no use to anyone-- especially against Sukuna --if he burned out completely. I can leave. Just for a few hours.
With a tired sigh, he dialed his assistant. âIjichi,â he sang half heartedly into his cell, his voice missing some of its usual playfulness. âIâm going home.â
Ijichi's protests were immediate, though muffled through the receiver. Satoru didn't bother listening. He slipped the phone into his back pocket without even hanging up, ignoring the last few sputters of "--but Gojo-san!"
Stretching his limbs once more, he felt the weight of exhaustion settling into his bones. It wasn't like him to abandon his post so early into the afternoon, but he wouldn't be of any use in this state. Half-blind, staggering through a haze of pain. The pounding behind his eyes was growing unbearable, his senses dulling with each passing minute.Â
With one last glance at the skyline, Satoru exhaled, letting his shoulders drop just slightly. It was strange, the guilt that had begun creeping in these days, as if his raw determination alone would be enough to protect humanity from Sukuna's dark influence. But at his core, he knew that if he wasn't sharp, if he wasn't fully there, then he was no more than a tired body standing watch.Â
Humanity deserved better than that.Â
Yuuji deserved better than that.Â
âŚ
In his apartment, Satoru wandered thoughtlessly into his bedroom, tossing aside his phone, his wallet, his blindfold, and all of the other little trinkets he carried on the job. The blinds were drawn and the room was dark; still, he manipulated the pitch black space seamlessly, thankful for the small mercy of darkness. He migrated to his shower-- something else he'd been putting off.Â
The hot stream of water-- scalding against his porcelain skin --was healing. Following the contours of his body, mapping the planes of his muscles as it traveled across his skin. The rich scent of his body wash hung thickly in the air, cutting through 40 hours' worth of sweat and frustration. With a sigh, he bowed his head, letting it all fall into his eyes, mouth.Â
What the fuck had happened to him?Â
Being alone was something he still struggled with. He'd once thought of Suguru as the only person who could possibly understand the isolation that followed his responsibilities as the strongest. But Suguru was gone, had been gone longer even than he'd been dead, and all that was left now was... Satoru and his sadness? Longing? He didn't know what he was feeling.Â
Remorse?Â
"You promise you wonât regret this?"
âShouldnât I be asking you that?â
Eyes snapping open, he reared his head back. Infinity kept him from losing his balance, thankfully, but didn't stop the way he wobbled a bit on his feet with the emotional whiplash he'd just received from that memory. That voice.Â
He exhaled, long and slow, steam swirling in the dimmed light. His pulse quickened just slightly as the memory returned to him in living color, as if he were reliving it-- naked and vulnerable.Â
A laugh-- soft like morning mist. Perfume dancing across his senses, igniting warmth within his chest. He felt her presence even here, in the sanctuary of his mind.Â
Shiori Myoji. The Clairvoyance User.Â
The quiet, mundane memory came to him suddenly-- like his pain had picked the lock to a door he'd forgotten long ago. She was sitting on the edge of a windowsill in the Jujutsu High dorms, delicate fingers cradling a cup of tea. He sat beside her, much too close, with a large hand resting on her covered thigh. She was blushing, and he remembered the way it made his heart race. Has anyone ever done that before?Â
Has anyone ever done that... since?Â
"You're incorrigible,"Â she scolded lightly, though the light smile upon her lips told him all that he needed to know. With a glance toward the halls, assuring there would be no witnesses, she leaned into him and he did the same, capturing her mouth in a tender kiss.
Fuck, she was always so soft. So calm. The kind of calm he pretended that he was, but had never really felt. Only in these moments, did she ever seem to look at him. Usually, her gaze extended into a space that he couldn't see-- a space that no one occupied, as if she were seeing something that he couldn't.Â
The water hit his shoulders harder now, as if trying to call him back to the present. He straightened, shaking his head as if that could wash away the memory of her. As if it were something that could be scrubbed away as easily as sweat and blood from his skin.Â
But she lingered, as she always seemed to do. She'd been away for too long for him to still think of her. She was a distraction at the time, something they both craved desperately. That is what she was, wasn't she? His distraction. His excuse. His anchor when the weight of Suguru's passing had threatened to tilt him off-balance. She was his-- then, now, whether she knew it or not.Â
His, because he couldn't let her be anything else.
Yes, a voice in his head purred. Yours, it agreedâ languid and sweet, sounding suspiciously like her.Â
She was an addiction heâd been more than willing to rid himself ofâ even if it hurt like pouring salt into a wound. Heâd love to say that he didnât feel it, or that it paled in comparison to the pain of killing his best friend, but that simply wasnât true. Heâd grown attached to her warmth, her quiet strength, the mutual understanding of their own responsibilities as sorcerers. Sheâd been an enigma to him in high school, a close friend as an adult, and now? A ghost. A shadow. Someone who knew him intimately, someone whose taste hadnât left his mouth since the last time his tongue was inside of herâ because only he knew her so intimately, too.Â
Only he had been privy to the way that her brows furrowed in a mix of confusion and disgust when he said something lewd, the way her cheeks would darken at the slightest mention of their extracurricular affairs, igniting a fire in the pit of Satoruâs belly each time. Only he got to see the spit-slick part of her lips when she came, her wet heat wrapped so tightly around his member that heâd nearly blacked out at the force of his own orgasm. Only he knew that it was like that every. Single. Time. with her, like they were both squirming virgins experimenting with strange new feelings.Â
Except Satoru had never felt so enthralled with a lover before, and he never would againâ something heâd come to terms with after trying and failing to fill the void she left in his life as his âdistractionâ. Thatâs all she was.
Right?
âFuck,â he muttered through clenched teeth as he recalled her image in near-perfect clarity, spread out above his sheetsâ moaning softly, gasping his name when he fucked her just right. âFucking shit.â
Satoru took himself in his hand, letting the water cascade down his back as he hunched over, pressing his forehead against the cool tile as he recalled more. Her dainty fingers tangled in his hair as she writhed beneath him, bucking her hips against his pelvis and fucking herself on his cock. Broken whispers of âSatoru, please,â as her walls contracted around him, milking his seed into her waiting womb. The taste of her sweat on his tongue, salty and sweet, while he sucked his little purple love bites into her skin. Heâd spell out his fucking name with them if he could.Â
Heâd carve it into her flesh with his teeth if sheâd let him.Â
Feelings Satoru had never experienced before herâ or after her â flooded his senses. The hollow ache of desperation as he craved her warmth, the bitter taste of jealousy as he thought of her with anyone else, the crushing weight of grief when he remembered she was goneâ
âFucking miss you,â he spat, pumping desperately into his own fist, slick with prespend. âFucking miss the way you feel.â
In his mindâs eye, Shiori writhes underneath him, pinned to the mattress by his weight. Her fingers tangle into his hair as he fucks into her, hard and fast, carving out a space just for him. Heâs grunting along with his thrusts, her pretty little gasps coming out in broken hiccups. Theyâre hiding in the campus dorms again and they have to be quiet; she muffles a loud cry against his shoulder, teeth baring down into his flesh as she locks her legs around his waist with surprising ferocity, holding him so deep inside of her, and oh shit they forgot a condomâ
âFuck,â he hissed out in a sharp breath, tightening his grip on himself. The exhaustion in his bones temporarily forgotten, Satoru slammed a fist onto the wall above his head, a satisfying little crack! coming from the tile. His orgasm had nearly taken his breath away in its intensity, years of frustration and repressed feelings finally coming to a sore, bursting head.Â
He stood panting in the shower stall, watching the physical evidence of his longing swirl down the drain. His head pulsed with every beat of his heart, the effort heâd exerted not mixing kindly with his already throbbing migraine. He groaned, running a hand through his slick hair, and subsequently flicking water onto the wall behind him. Fucking Shiori, he muttered to himself.Â
Head swimming, Satoru emerged from the muggy bathroom several minutes later. He was still stewing over his momentary loss of control. He could have anyone he wanted, and here he was, fisting his cock to memories of an old flame. A ghost from his past.Â
Heâd buried her in the place heâd buried Suguruâ except, the ache was different knowing that her physical form still roamed this earth. Somewhere. He could find her, if he wanted to. Maybe she'd be able to tell him what the fuck he should do, how the fuck he was going to save a 16 year old boy with an eons-old curse living inside of him.Â
A plan began to unfurl inside of him, unwillingly. A first grade sorceress, gone without a trace... But all cursed energy left residuals, didnât it? Would it really be so hard for the Six Eyes to follow her clues, hunt her down, and bring her back home?Â
It wouldnât be hard, but it wouldnât be right, he thought.Â
Last he heard, Shiori had fled west to study cursed energy manifestation in other regions. It was a convincing cover up, but given her technique and her history of omitting bigger details, he'd always assumed there were other implications to why and where she'd gone. Did she know what was happening in Tokyo? Did she see something that he didn't?Â
Of course she fucking did, he scoffed, slipping a t-shirt over his bare shoulders. When didn't she? She always knew more than she let on. It had frustrated him back then, and it frustrated him even more now. The idea that she might have seen this, predicted it-- Sukuna, Yuuji, the spiraling chaos of Tokyo's curses --and had chosen to leave anyway gnawed at him.Â
The truth was, he didn't want to think about why she left. Shit, he didn't want to think about her at all. But her name sat heavy on his chest now, a quiet itch he couldn't continue to ignore. If anyone could make sense of the impossible, it was her. And yet... she was gone. She'd left without so much as a goodbye, or a trace worth following. Maybe that was all of the explanation he really needed.Â
Maybe that was all of the closure heâd ever get.
With a low groan, Satoru flopped onto his bed, stretching his arms out wide. He didn't get tired often, but exhaustion was settling into his bones. He closed his eyes, letting the darkness settle over him, the plan that he refused to admit beginning to stir in his minds' eye once more, unwelcome and persistent. He could find her. If he wanted to. If he needed to.
...
This is Chapter 1 of a multi-chapter fic to be crossposted to AO3. Taglist below as requested. @starlightglimmersworld @mccookiemonster @leilakaro @certainduckanchor @itsbellablue-blog @shokosbunny @hyookka @drogonfruitzen
#gojo x reader#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru#smut#JJK smut#JJK s1#JJK oc#reader insert#pregnancy fic#pregnancy fantasy
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I love Cass because she exists as a paradox to herself. She has a stronger belief, an eternal conviction in second chances that outweighs anyone else around herâyou can change! Nobody dies tonight!âand proves that she's willing to die to give strangers them that chance, over and over and over again. Everyone has not only the right, but deserves the chance to make the choice to do the right thingâwhich means they must be saved. It doesn't matter who you are. Good or bad is irrelevant. And it's not that she's a contrast to the ruleâbecause it's exactly her life and her choices that serve to prove to herself and everyone around her that her conviction in life and redemption isn't baseless ("you turned yourself into one of us")âbut killing that man as an eight year old girl is something that has permanently altered her sense of "being good". She did a bad thing and now there's something bad about her forever. She can do good with her lifeâit's all she wants to doâbut she can't ever make up for that one act of murder. Nothing will ever be enough. So she willingly puts her life in the balance to give people that chance. Nobody dies tonight, except for her. Her life is expendable like that. Except it's not! If Cass isn't there to hold up this ideal, who is? No one can do what she does. She's the best there is. She doesn't kill, but she doesn't lose, either! Even though putting her life on the line is instinct! And she has to learn how to live and see the value in her own life even though she still wouldn't hesitate to die protecting someone else... I love you Batgirl. Straight up It's time to forgive your hands for being hands.
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watch my heart break
danielle van de donk x exarsenal!reader
summary: all good things must come to an end
warnings: angst
the fluorescent lights in the locker room flicker softly, casting a pale glow over the space that begins to feel more like a confinement than a sanctuary.Â
you sit on the edge of a wooden bench, the cold surface pressing against you. the familiar scent of sweat and worn leather fills the air, mixed with the faint aroma of the laundry detergent used for your jerseys.Â
yet, those odors that once brought you comfort now feel oppressive and heavy, much like the anguish building inside.
you stare at a small bottle of water resting in front of you, unable to bring yourself to drink from it. your heart feels like itâs encased in ice, a chasm of emotions swirling around your thoughts. your mind keeps flashing back to the whirlwind of emotions you shared with danielleâthe laughter that echoed through the corridors of arsenal, the late-night conversations that stretched into dawn, the passion both on the field and behind closed doors.Â
danielle was supposed to be your forever.
the news that ingrid gave you earlier in training sent you into a panic. at first, you thought you covered it up well. however, as you were doing drills, everything from the past hit you. you told the team that you had to use the restroom inside, but you just sat down and thought about everything.
the memories hits you with piercing clarityâthe moment everything changed. you can see it as if it were happening again, the night in your shared apartment filled with the laughter and warmth that usually suffused your lives but now felt hauntingly distant.
ây/n, we need to talk,â danielle had said, her voice unusually serious, the shadows dancing across her face as the sunlight faded outside.
you immediately felt dread coil in your stomach.Â
âwhatâs wrongâŚ?âÂ
danielle doesnât speak right away.Â
âyouâre scaring me,â you say, your heart racing as you brace for bad news.
âi got an offer from lyon,â danielle began, her words trembling in the air.Â
âand⌠they want me to join.iâm going to take it.â
âthats amazing dani!!âÂ
âyeah but youâre going to wolfsburg, iâm not sure if this is going to work..âÂ
your heart sank. âwhat do you mean? what about us? we can make it work, danielle. wolfsburg and lyon is not that far; itâs just a three-hour flight.â
ây/n, itâs not just about the distance,â she explained.Â
âlong distance is hard emotionally. i donât think i can do it. iâm sorry, but⌠i think we should break up.â
the words felt like a knife twisting into your heart.Â
âwhat? you canât just throw everything away because of a three hour distance! youâre the love of my life, danielle.â
âsometimes love isnât enough,â she said softly, her eyes filled with unshed tears.Â
âi canât do this if weâre not at the same club. i donât want to hurt either of us more.â
you stared at her, bewildered, trying to comprehend the sudden finality in her voice, the way she avoided your gaze as if afraid of what lay within.Â
some of your national teammates can handle long distance relationships in different continents!! what does danielle mean she can't handle the distance between lyon and wolfsburg!
âi thought we were going to build a life together. dani i-i-i thought you were the one!â
âi thought so too,â she said, her eyes glistening.Â
âbut i have to think of my career. i canât do long distance. i need to focus.â
âfocus?â you echoed, disbelief washing over you.Â
âhow is it easier to date someone else at a different club than to fight for us?â
the room felt heavy with unsaid words as you both fell silent, each wrapped in your own swirling storm of thoughts. you wanted to scream, to shake some sense into her, to plead for clarity, for truth but all you could do was nod numbly, accepting what felt like a devastating betrayal while desperately holding on to the last threads of your love.
âif this is what you really wantâŚâ you finally whispered, tears blurring your vision,Â
âi guess thereâs nothing i can do⌠it hurts, danielle. it really hurts.â
âiâm sorry,â she said.
for a moment, you believed herâbelieved that the decision was about you, about them, and not the seeds of something new already taking root in her heart.
with that, you walked out of the door of your shared apartment for one last time, the echoes of your laughter still trapped between the walls, your heart crushed under the weight of goodbye.
now, the memory lingers in the air, sharp and painful. your heart twists as you recollect how danielle had never once expressed doubt about your love during that conversationâhow could she?Â
you blink away tears as you sit in the locker room, trying to gather yourself amidst the chaos of your emotions.Â
footsteps echo down the hall, breaking the silence.Â
lena enters, her vibrant presence immediately lighting up the somber atmosphere, but as she takes a step closer, her bright smile falters upon seeing your tear-streaked face.
ây/n! everyone isâ--ohâ uh, everything okay?â
you turn away, a lump forming in your throat.Â
âiâm fine.â
lena knows better than to take that at face value. she can see the outline of your face, shimmering with unshed tears.
âyou donât look fine,â she says gently, stepping further into the room.
âdo you want to talk about it?â
ânot really,â you mutter, attempting to sound dismissive but failing miserably.
lena shifts awkwardly, but before she can respond, she glances toward the door, spotting ewa, ingrid, and pernille walking in.Â
âguys! come here!â she calls, urgency lacing her tone.Â
as they naturally gather around, you can feel their concern radiating off them, even though you wish to shield yourself from it.Â
âwhatâs wrong?â ingrid asks, her accent unmistakably sweet and soothing.
you shake your head, unable to control the tears that form again.Â
ânothing.â
âyouâre crying, y/n,â ewa replies, a gentle probing beneath her tough demeanor.Â
âtalk to us.â
âyou canât fix this, trust me,â you say, bitterness creeping into your tone.
âwho says we canât?â pernille steps closer, an aura of strength emanating from her.Â
âweâre here for you, remember?â
you let out a laugh, but itâs hollow.Â
âwhat happened?â lena presses, her brow furrowing.
you take a deep breath, and with it comes a surge of emotions.
âit was danielle⌠she left for lyon. she didnât want to do long distance, and i thought we could make it work. but then, just a few weeks laterâŚâ your voice trails off as the bite of fresh pain blooms in your chest.
âoh.â ingrid mumbles, remembering what she told you.
âwhat? what happened?â ewa asks, eyebrows knitting together in concern as she looks between you and ingrid.
âshe started dating someone else. ellie, ellie carpenter from australiaâ you whisper, the name spilling from your lips like venom.Â
âjust a few months after our breakup. we were together for years!! was that why she was so adamant about ending things?â
silence fills the air, a heavy blanket that suffocates your spirit. you can see the realization flicker in your friends' eyes.
âwhat a coward,â ingrid murmurs, fury substituting soft sympathy.Â
âshe should have just talked to you.â pernille says.Â
you feel that fury stir within you, heart pounding with a mix of anger and sorrow.Â
âright? like it wouldnât have been that hard to face me and tell me that! how could she not care enough to be honest?â
âsome people are afraid of confrontation,â lena replies softly.Â
âthat doesnât mean they care any less, though.â
you meet lenaâs gaze, your eyes brimming once more.Â
âbut she didnât fight for us, did she? if you love someone, you fight for them. i wouldâve done everything in my power to make it work. we had plans⌠i thought she was the one.â
âthis was all her loss,â pernille states firmly, a reassuring hand on your back.Â
âyouâre amazing, y/n! the way you play, the way you care about othersâshe doesnât deserve a second of your thoughts! you need to let go of this weight.â
you canât shake it off, no matter how much you try. the memories flood your mind, filling the gaps left by danielleâs absence. the laughter echoing through your apartment, the late-night matches played out on your console with hastily made snacks scattered around, the moments when danielle would lean in a little closer, making your heart race.Â
âi donât know how to do that,â you admit, your voice breaking.
âthen weâll help you,â ewa states firmly, a reassuring hand on your back.Â
âweâre here, and we wonât let you carry this alone.â
âdanielle made her choice,â ingrid adds, crossing her arms.Â
âit was her loss. youâre incredible, y/n. donât let her actions define your worth. youâre more than just someone who loved her. youâre a fantastic player, and you have a whole future ahead of you.â
in the comforting arms of your teammates, you whisper,Â
âthank you, guys. i really donât know what iâd do without you.â
âjust remember, we are here for you y/n,â ewa promises, brushing a tear away from your cheek.
taking a deep breath, your heart begins to settle at last. maybe this is the turning point you need.Â
âyou think we should get back to training before coach asks what happened?â lena asks, pulling back slowly, gauging your reaction.
âyeah,â you say, the glimmer of determination beginning to replace the emptiness in your chest.Â
âi promise i wonât let a relationship get in the way of my football again.â
âthatâs the spirit!â ingrid cheers, throwing her arm around your shoulder.
masterlist
#danielle van de donk#woso fanfics#woso community#woso x reader#oranjeleeuwinnen#olympique lyonnais#lena oberdorf#pernille harder#ingrid engen
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kerosene (part 2) // ellie williams
*シăďžď˝Ľ* summary: the one where she breaks up with cat.
*シăďžď˝Ľ* pairing: jackson!ellie x reader
*シăďžď˝Ľ* content: sfw
*シăďžď˝Ľ* length: 0.8k
this is part two of this series! find part one here
I AM ENJOYING WRITING THIS SO MUCH i literally don't want them to get together because i just love yearning so much sighhh. i'm already up to the part where things finally happen and i know i'm gonna end up posting those, then going back and writing little extra parts to slot in where they're still friends. anywayyy hope you enjoy <3
something about the conversation makes ellie deliberate for weeks. it was the way youâd spoken about your relationship just not feeling ârightâ, the way she couldnât really verbalize anything she felt like she should say about cat. she doesnât know if sheâs just overthinking everything. catâs great. sure, she canât see herself spending the rest of her life with her, but she makes her happy. they have fun. they have things in common. she feels like she starts to make a mental list of all the reasons theyâre together, analyzing the relationship, analyzing her own feelings. she canât shake the notion that now theyâre settled in, the excitement of newness gone, she, too, feels like something isnât ârightâ.
she hopes it just goes away on its own. but when just over a month passes and nothing has changed, she knows she has to just do it.Â
it starts off as a regular day; she meets cat at a spot they frequent, stomach churning at the anticipation. she wants to just rip the band-aid off, but she canât. the words wonât come out. she flounders around for a while, talking about nothing, knowing full well cat can tell somethingâs up. finally, when she straight up asks her why sheâs being weird, she just comes out and says it. she wants to break up.
of course, she feels awful. catâs confused, and crying, and asking all kind of questions ellie canât really express any answers to. sheâs upset about it, too. but she just knows in her heart itâs for the better.
itâs cemented when sheâs walking back home, realizing she feels a little lighter.
she sees you properly again about a week later, when thereâs an event in jackson. she really wasnât planning on going, not wanting to risk seeing cat (not wanting to have to interact with anyone, pretty much), but dina had convinced her, saying she âcanât lock herself away forever.â
she walks in late, party already in full swing, and immediately spots you in the corner chatting to jesse. you havenât actually spoken in a few weeks, just a greeting when you saw each other out and about, but you seem happier than you were before. she kicks herself mentally when she finds herself hoping itâs not because youâve found someone new.
she awkwardly hovers around, getting herself a drink and sipping it, people watching. these things were never her idea of a great time.
after about ten minutes, dina appears at her side, visibly tipsy. âwhat the hell are you doing?â she asks playfully, gesturing at the room full of people. âyouâre a single woman now, câmon. get out there.â
ellie pulls a face, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her drink. âyeah, that's definitely my style.â
dina lets out a short, exasperated sigh, taking ellie by the wrist and tugging her across the room, towards you and jesse. âat least socialize. youâre all⌠weird. more than usual.â
âoh, shut up,â she retorts lowly, but allows herself to be hauled over to the two of you. her stomach flutters slightly when she gets a proper look at you; youâre a little more done-up than normal, eyes sparkling in the warm light as you greet her.
she doesnât know if itâs the alcohol or something else, but that night is the first time things start to feel explicitly different. on one hand, itâs similar to how it was before â the odd pleasantness dissipated in the air. it feels more like a real friendship again, rather than two people dancing around each other. but on the other, something just feels⌠new.
she actually ends up having a really good time. she spends the majority of the night with you, drinking more than you both probably should, conversation flowing easily. and when itâs over, she insists on walking you home, despite you saying dinaâs staying the night and you werenât going to be alone anyway.
she just shrugs and smiles.
on the short walk back, dinaâs chatting your ear off, thoroughly drunk, but you canât really focus on anything sheâs saying. not just because of the fuzzy feeling in your head, but because of the way youâre so, so aware of ellieâs presence. youâre walking in between them, noticing the way she seems to gravitate towards you, swaying away slightly, then back in. you cross your arms, not wanting to accidentally brush against her, not really understanding why.
she lingers at the door when you get home, dina heading straight in and kicking her shoes off, flopping down on your couch.
âwell⌠thanks. youâre free to go,â you joke after a small pause.
ellie shoots a lopsided smile, leaning against the doorframe. âwelcome.â she pauses, like she doesnât want to go, like she wants to say something. but she doesnât. she just taps the doorframe and stands up straight. âsee you later.â
dina yells out a âbye, ellieâ, and you wave goodbye as she turns around to leave, trying not to think about the way that smile sent your stomach all funny. âget home safe. update me on the hangover.â
she looks over her shoulder at you as she walks away, chuckling. âwill do.â
you go to close the door, watching her stuff her hands into her pockets and make her way down the street for a moment too long.
#tlou#tlou2#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie williams fluff#ellie x reader#ellie x you#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams tlou2#wlw fic#lesbian fic#my writing#livvieloveswomen#seraphicsentences#lvlymicha#sapphicarribean#chappellroankisser#lil-elliesgf
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no im not adding you to the dream smp and if you ask again im killing myself directly in front of you
#and changing the course of your life forever#no but seriously i dont control who joins#im just another guy on the server#like i RUN the server i do the maintenance and stuff#but NO im not adding you and no one else will add you#please stop joining my discord server to ask to join the dsmp đ#i cannot keep having this same conversation#dream smp novus#dsmp#dsmpn#dream smp#project novus#mcyt
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Getting through rough patches âĄ
The past few months haven't been easy. Maybe your grades are slipping, you're feeling depressed, or maybe you're just not where you want to be right now.
That's okay. We can get through this. A rough patch does not define you or your life. What matters the most is recognizing it, and responding to it.
ă
¤âĄ Realize you're in a rough patch. Recognize this is a hard time in your life right now. Whatever happened, happened. You can't change the past but you can change the future. It's gonna be okay.
ă
¤âĄ Collect yourself. Take a few deep breaths. Understand this is not the end of the world. You can get out of this, turn things around, and plan for a better tomorrow.
ă
¤âĄ Responding to it. Make a plan. What are you going to do to pull yourself out of this slump? What can you control in your life? What are the steps you can take to better yourself, your life, or your future? Take your time to think about it <3
ă
¤âĄ Coming back from it. Going through a hard time will not last forever. You can come back from it, and plan for better days ahead. Donât let this define you. You will be okay<3
Love you all đ˘Ö´ŕťđˇÍÖ
#self care#self worth#lily rose depp#dream girl#feminine journey#it girl#lana del rey#green juice girl#that girl#becoming that girl#manifesting#self help#lizzy grant#pinterest girl#self love#positive energy#journal#clean girl#feminine beauty#affirmations#self healing#feminine#dollette#journey#manifestation#manifest#spiritual journey#self esteem#self h@rm
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Forever and Always
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Setting: Modern MCU timeline
Perspective: Third Person Limited (Readerâs perspective).
Work Count: 1.2K
Prompt 13: âI promised to love you forever, and that is a promise I intend to keep.â
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The night air in Brooklyn was cool, the city buzzing around you as you walked down the familiar streets. You had lived here once, in another timeâanother life. Back then, it was simpler. You were young, full of dreams and love. Bucky was by your side, his smile lighting up every corner of the world. That smile hadnât faded from your memory, not even after all these years. And yet, seeing it now⌠seeing him now⌠It was different.
Bucky was different.
You rounded the corner and stopped. There he was, standing by the old bench where you had shared your first kiss. He looked much the same, but the pain in his eyes was unmistakable. His hair was a little longer, a little grayer at the temples, and his jacket a little more worn than you remembered. But it was the same Buckyâthe Bucky you had known and loved in the 1940s.
The man who had promised you forever.
You hadnât aged a day. The same as you had back then, still in your twenties, a quiet enchantment hanging over you like a veil. You could feel it, the weight of your powers that kept you locked in the past, preserved in time. You had lived through decades, watching loved ones come and go, but Bucky had always been the one who lingered. The one you couldnât forget.
He turned when he heard your footsteps, and for a moment, his breath caught. His eyes scanned you, taking in every detailâevery curve, every line, every piece of you that he had once known. It was like nothing had changed⌠except everything had.
âY/NâŚâ His voice was low, strained, like the name itself pained him.
You stepped forward, heart in your throat, but a smile tugged at your lips. "Hey, Buck."
He shook his head, as if trying to clear the fog of confusion from his mind. "How... how is this even possible?" His voice cracked slightly. "You look... you look the same. Youâre stillâ" He gestured at you, unable to find the right words.
You nodded slowly, the weight of centuries pressing down on you. "I know. Itâs complicated."
His jaw tightened. "I donât get it. How is this even possible? I saw you⌠I saw you die. I thought you were gone." His voice broke on the word 'gone.'
You reached out, gently placing your hand on his arm, grounding him. "I never died, Bucky. IâI couldnât. Not like that. Not when I made you a promise."
He recoiled slightly, stepping back. "A promise?" He laughed bitterly, but there was no humor in it. "Do you have any idea how much time has passed? How much has changed? You donât owe me anything, Y/N. Not after everything Iâve done. After what Hydra made me do."
You flinched at the mention of Hydra, the dark memories that haunted both of you. You knew that pain all too well, the scars they had left on his soul. But you werenât going to let him hide behind that.
âBucky, look at me.â You stepped closer, your eyes meeting his. âYouâre not what Hydra made you. You never were. I know who you are. Youâre the same man who held me close under the stars, promised me forever. The man who laughed and danced and loved with his whole heart.â You swallowed hard, feeling the weight of your words. âAnd I promised to love you forever, Bucky. And that is a promise I intend to keep.â
His face twisted in anguish, and he looked away, the guilt written all over him. "You donât understand, Y/N. You donât know what Iâve done. What I canât forget. The lives Iâve taken. The pain I caused. Iâm a different person now. You shouldnât have to carry that. You deserve someone who hasnâtâ" He choked on the words, his fists clenching.
âStop.â Your voice was firm, cutting through the self-loathing and regret that seemed to choke him. "You are not the monster they turned you into. You are not the Winter Soldier anymore, Bucky. You are him. The man I fell in love with."
Tears burned in your eyes, though you refused to let them fall. You had spent so many years without him, so many years wondering if you would ever get another chance. You couldnât lose him again.
âBucky, look at me.â You cupped his face gently, tilting his head to meet your gaze. âI never gave up on you. I never stopped loving you, not once. You donât get to decide if I move on. I made a promise, and Iâm not going to let you push me away.â
He took a shaky breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly. For a moment, he didnât speak. His blue eyes were searching yours, like he was looking for somethingâsomething to hold onto, something to believe in again.
âIâm not the same man I was back then,â he whispered, his voice cracking. âIâve seen too much. Done too much.â
âAnd Iâve been waiting for you, Bucky. For all this time.â You stroked his cheek softly, and he leaned into the touch, his breath hitching. âYouâve suffered. I know that. But you donât have to suffer alone. You never did.â
His eyes softened, a flicker of hope rekindling in the depths of them, and for a brief second, he was the man you rememberedâthe man you had loved. The man who had kissed you under the stars, whispered promises into your hair, and told you heâd love you forever.
âIâve waited so long for this,â you whispered, your voice filled with emotion. âYou donât have to carry all of it alone anymore. You donât have to do this by yourself.â
Bucky closed his eyes, letting out a long, shuddering breath, his shoulders sagging with the weight of everything he had carried for so long. âI donât know if I can⌠if I deserve to be loved again. After everything.â
âYou deserve it more than anyone.â Your voice was steady now, filled with the conviction of a promise you had made so long ago. "You are still the man I fell in love with, Bucky. And Iâm not letting you go. Not now. Not ever."
When he finally looked at you again, his expression was softer, vulnerable, the hardness in his eyes giving way to something more fragile. âIâve missed you,â he whispered.
âIâve missed you too.â You pressed your forehead to his, a tear finally slipping down your cheek, but it was a tear of relief, not sorrow. âI never stopped loving you, Bucky. And I never will.â
For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Bucky didnât pull away. He didnât hide behind the walls of guilt and regret. Instead, he let himself be vulnerable with youâtruly vulnerable. And as he leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours, you knew, without a doubt, that forever didnât need to be a distant promise anymore.
It was now.
And this time, you would keep it. Forever and always.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#self insert#winter soldier#winter soldier x reader#winter soldier x you#winter soldier x y/n#james barnes x reader#James barnes#james barnes x y/n#james barnes x you#bucky barnes self insert#bucky barnes imagines#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fluff#fluff#marvel mcu#mcu fandom#marvel imagines#marvel fanfiction#magical-Reid
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all talk | p.js
there has always been a simmering tension between you and jay ever since you joined their friend group, hidden beneath playful banter and teasing remarks. but things changed when what started as a carefree night out with your seven friends quickly spiraled into something far more unexpected. between the music, the drinks, and the charged glances, the playful teasing shifts into something much more intense.
ă parkÂĄjongseong x femaleÂĄreader
ă content - smut, a little fluff, teasing, protected sex, praise kink, drunk sex, jealously, oral, self-pleasure(jay), the reader isn't submissive and she's low-key a freak. probably missed a lot but it's my first time guys i'm so sorry!
if you're into a quick smut story this probably isn't for you. got carried away and it ended up being way longer than expected (i just like to yap a lot sry again babes)
ă wc - 9k
heesung and jake play a big role in this lol. jungwon's mentioned too just at the very.
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you and jay⌠that was always a topic of confusionâfor others, and sometimes even for yourselves.
this entire, incredibly eventful chapter of your life began when you met enhypen during one of your calvin klein photoshoots. it was a collaboration you hadnât expected, and yet everything about it felt oddly seamless.
from the moment you met the group of boys, it felt as though youâd known them forever. they were warm, funny, and easy to talk toâqualities that made them stand out, especially since most of your friendships had been with girls.
what really caught you off guard was how quickly you became a part of their circle. suddenly, you were being invited to hangouts every other week when your schedules allowed, and you didnât mind one bit.
all seven of them welcomed you with open arms, making you feel at ease in a way that was new and unexpected. it was strange to think about because kindness should be the standard, but your past experiences with men had left you guarded. this shift in dynamic, though refreshing, often felt too good to be true.
your relationship with each one of them was unique in its own way, but you seemed to connect best with one in particularâ park jongseong.
your bond with jay was unlike anything you shared with the rest. from your very first exchange, there was an easy flirtation between the two of you that only grew stronger over time. the others teased you both relentlessly, saying how perfect you were for each other and insisting you should stop pretending and just make it official.
you and jay, however, would always dismiss their comments, laughing it off and insisting that you were just joking around. of course, the others never believed you, carrying on with their relentless teasing.
still, it never fazed you or jay. maybe it was because, deep down, the idea didnât seem all that bad? you never stopped to analyze it, though. the truth was, you never had a âwhat are we?â conversation, and you werenât exactly in a rush to have one either. you werenât actively looking for love, and having a flirtatious dynamic with a man sculpted like a greek god certainly added some much-needed excitement to your life. who could complain? it was just innocent funâyou never crossed any boundaries or did anything beyond playful banter.
little did you know, though, that someday words would turn into actions.
the night everything changed began with a casual invitation. the guys were in new york city for a concert and decided to go clubbing in their free time. they wanted you to join.
the place they chose was nothing short of extravagantâa blend of a nightclub and bar, with a formal dress code and an exclusive guest list. it was an entirely new experience, especially since most of your outings with them were more casual: dinners, movie nights, or just hanging out at someoneâs place.
the chance to dress up, drink, and let loose was too tempting to pass up. without a second thought, you said yes, not knowing that this night would mark a turning point in your relationship with jay.
after stepping into the upscale club, the eight of you naturally dispersed. some rushed off to the bar, others disappeared into the pulsing crowd, lost in the music and lights. a few mingled effortlessly with strangers, their laughter blending into the vibrant hum of the room.
you stayed back with jay, jake, and heesung, settling into a plush, semi-private corner on an l-shaped couch. the spot felt perfectâclose enough to feel the energy of the club but far enough to offer a sense of privacy. from where you sat, you could watch the sea of bodies moving under the strobe lights, yet here, the music was muffled just enough to allow for easy conversation.
a sleek glass table in front of you was already cluttered with expensive liquor bottles, mixers, and half-finished drinks. you sat in the middle, jay on your left, so close that his knee brushed yours every time he adjusted his position. heesung occupied the far side, and jake sprawled casually on your right, his arm draped over the backrest.
the conversation was lively, flowing effortlessly from deep, reflective topics to ridiculous, out-of-pocket jokes that had all of you clutching your sides with laughter. the alcohol helped, loosening your words and deepening your bond as time slipped away.
it didnât take long for you to feel the telltale signs of drunkenness. your cheeks felt warm, the edges of the room seemed softer, and your words occasionally slurred together. the guys werenât far behind, their flushed faces and increasingly playful banter a clear indication of how much theyâd had to drink.
but through the haze, you couldnât help but notice jay. heâd always been charming and tactile, but tonight, something about him felt differentâintensely focused. every so often, his hand would graze your bare leg, the touch fleeting but electric. occasionally, heâd reach out to brush a stray strand of hair from your face, his fingers lingering near your cheek in a way that made your breath hitch.
and then there were his handsâalways finding ways to touch yours. jay had a habit of playing with your fingers, something youâd grown used to, but tonight, it felt more deliberate. his thumb traced slow, lazy circles on your skin, his touch so gentle it sent shivers up your spine.
his gaze, though, was what undid you. whenever his dark eyes locked with yours, it felt like the rest of the world faded away. there was an intensity to the way he looked at you tonight, as if he was trying to tell you something without saying a word. it made your heart race in a way you couldnât quite control, and the alcohol only amplified your awareness of him.
jake and heesung werenât blind to what was happening. every time jayâs hand lingered a little too long or his gaze softened when he looked at you, the two of them would exchange amused glances. jake smirked openly, while heesung occasionally raised an eyebrow, the corners of his lips twitching as if he was holding back laughter.
you noticed their silent teasing, of course, but jay seemed entirely unfazed. his focus stayed on you, as if the rest of the room didnât exist.
as much as you tried to brush it off, blaming your racing thoughts on the alcohol, you couldnât ignore the effect he was having on you. jay looked absolutely stunning tonight. his dark hair framed his face perfectly, soft strands falling effortlessly across his forehead. his black sweater clung to him just right, dipping low enough to reveal the sharp lines of his collarbones, while his tailored dress pants fit him like a dream. every detail about him seemed designed to make you lose your composure.
the night continued like this, the four of you huddled together while the others flitted in and out. occasionally, one of the members would stop by to join in on the conversation, only to dash off when a song they couldnât resist came on. the corner youâd claimed felt like its own little world, insulated from the chaos of the club.
at one point, jay excused himself to the bathroom. you watched him go, your gaze lingering longer than you intended. the absence of his presence was immediate, like a sudden chill. the warmth of his touch, the weight of his attention, the way his voice softened when he spoke to youâit all left you reeling.
jake chuckled beside you, breaking your train of thought. âyou good?â he teased, raising his glass in a toast. heesung just smirked knowingly, leaning back into the couch. to which you nonchalantly stated you're okay.
you shook your head, brushing off the slight unease from jay leaving. you leaned back into the cushions, letting the warm buzz of alcohol dull your thoughts. it wasnât a big deal, you told yourselfâhe probably just needed a moment. the energy of the club, the thrum of the music, and the laughter from jake and heesung were enough to distract you. for now, the thought of jay and his lingering touches faded into the background.
but as the conversation flowed, jake leaned closer, his smirk catching your attention. âso,â he began, dragging the word out in a way that immediately put you on edge, âyou know jay likes you, right?â
heesung, lounging comfortably, nodded with a sly grin. âoh, for sure. itâs not even subtle at this point. the guy canât keep his hands off you.â
you froze for a second before letting out a laugh, shaking your head as you waved them off. âoh, come on. jayâs always like thatâheâs just naturally touchy. itâs not out of the ordinary.â
jake raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. âsure, but he doesnât act like that with anyone else. have you seen him with us? the guy barely even gives us a pat on the back, let alone all theâŚâ he mimicked brushing imaginary hair behind his ear, earning a snicker from heesung.
âexactly,â heesung added, crossing his arms. âjayâs different with you. itâs written all over his face. youâre the only one he looks at like that.â
rolling your eyes, you chuckled, trying to ignore the way their words made your heart skip. âyouâre both drunk. he's flirty all the timeâitâs just jay being jay.â you shrugged, feigning nonchalance. âhe probably doesnât even realize heâs doing it.â
the two exchanged another look, one of those silent conversations that only close friends could have. âokay,â jake said, dragging the word out again as if to humor you. âwhatever you say.â
heesung smirked, leaning back into the couch. âdenial is a river in egypt,â he muttered, earning a laugh from jake.
âand you two are delusional,â you shot back playfully, though the warmth creeping up your neck betrayed your confidence. you quickly changed the topic, refusing to let their words linger, but deep down, you couldnât help but wonder if they might be right.
heesung, however, wasnât done. he leaned in dramatically, his voice lowering as if he was revealing some deep, dark secret. âyou know, i donât know why youâre pretending to be all innocent here.â he shot you a mischievous grin. âyouâre just as flirty as jayâif not worse.â
before you could protest, he straightened up, then leaned forward again, dramatically acting out what he claimed was your behavior. âoh my god, jay,â he said in a mocking voice, fluttering his eyelashes. âyou look so good tonight. i canât stop looking at you.â he threw in a hair flip for good measure, causing you to laugh despite him making fun of you.
you gaped at him. âi do not do that!â
he grinned wider, clearly enjoying the playful torment. âsure you donât,â he teased, pretending to sip from an invisible drink. âand then you throw in some accidental touches here and there, just like jay. like thisâ he reached over and lightly brushed your arm, his touch exaggerated and playful.
âstop!â you laughed, swatting his hand away. âyouâre ridiculous, heesung!â
jake chuckled beside you, clearly enjoying the teasing. âyou canât deny it. youâre just as bad, if not more obvious, than jay.â
you crossed your arms and tried to hold your ground, but the heat in your face betrayed you. âwhatever, you two are crazy.â you leaned back, trying to mask your flustered state, but deep down, a part of you knew they were right.
silence filled the air when you thought...wait... letâs make this fun. you leaned in closer, deciding it was your turn to stir things up.
âso, whoâs the better flirt?â you asked, your voice dripping with playful confidence as you shot them a daring smirk.
heesung didnât miss a beat. âyou, obviously,â he replied with a matching grin, his quick answer making you sit a little taller.
you were about to feign modesty when jake jumped in, completely unfiltered. âoh, thatâs not even a debate. youâre smooth, like dangerously smooth. itâs effortlessâsensual, even. jay, though? he looks like a mix of a horny teenager and some creepy old dude whoâs trying way too hard.â
you couldnât stop the laugh that escaped, your stomach aching as heesung nodded in agreement, both boys delighting in tearing down jayâs flirting game.
âso, youâd fall for it?â you pressed, leaning into the teasing, letting your voice drop just enough to make them squirm.
their reaction was immediateâeyes wide, sharing a glance, before jake cleared his throat awkwardly. âi mean⌠yeah. probably any guy would⌠shit even girls,â he admitted, his voice quieter now.
you turned to heesung, raising an eyebrow as if to ask, well? he scratched the back of his neck, looking at everything but you. âyeah, same,â he mumbled. then, with a nervous chuckle, he added, âbut donât let jay hear that. heâd kill us, and honestly? iâd rather not go out like that.â
you giggled at their flustered answers, but you werenât done just yet. a wicked thought crossed your mind. you leaned back against the couch, sighing dramatically, letting your body arch slightly, chest subtly pushing forward.
oh, so now they go quiet, huh? you thought to yourself, biting back a smirk.
you shifted back into your normal position, glancing at the two of them. for the first time tonight, they werenât shooting off quick remarks or teasing you back. instead, they were trying way too hard to act like they were fascinated by the crowd around them, clearly avoiding letting their eyes wander to how your dress hugged your figure just right.
âyou guys are so boring,â you teased, breaking the silence with a pout. âmaybe i should test my charm with you two to see if it really works,â you added, voice low and dripping with suggestion.
the way they stiffened was almost comical. they exchanged panicked glances, their nervous laughter giving them away immediately. jake cleared his throat, trying to steady his voice. ânope, nope, nope. youâre jayâs future wife. we canât be a part of this madness,â he said, holding his hands up in surrender.
you huffed dramatically, pretending to give in. âfine, i guess youâre right.â a pause hung in the air before you slyly added, âbesides, i donât think you could keep up with me anyway.â
jakeâs jaw dropped, his expression a mix of offense and disbelief. âokay, now that was just uncalled for,â he protested, pointing a finger at you like he was scolding you.
you leaned in closer, locking eyes with him, your voice soft yet teasing. âyou sure about that?â
âas if jay can,â he scoffed, laughing at his own joke. âbut yeah, iâm sure. besides, like i said, youâre practically the future mother of his kids, andââ
âokay, thatâs enough,â you cut him off quickly, unable to handle the forwardness of his words. âcan we please stop talking about jay for one secââ
heesung interrupted, grinning like heâd just uncovered some big secret. âguys, i think jayâs busy with his other future wife.â
you and jake froze, immediately following heesungâs gaze. sure enough, jay was leaning casually against a wall, unfazed as a girl who was far too enthusiastic leaned in closer, laughing and touching his arm a little too much for your liking.
ânah,â jake laughed, breaking the tension, âhe looks mad uncomfortable"
âdamn though, how does he get all the girls while i stay bitchless?â heesung muttered, still focused on jay and the overly eager girl practically draping herself over him.
jake chuckled, but you couldnât resist poking at heesung. âi just gave you the opportunity of a lifetime, hee,â you teased, referring to your earlier playful flirting, as heesung remained captivated by the unfolding scene of jay and the mystery girl.
he finally tore his gaze away, smirking mischievously. âif jay gave me the green light, i wouldnât even hesitate, gorgeous,â he shot back smoothly, his words bold and his tone dripping with confidence. he added a wink for good measure, which only made you laugh.
âheesung!â you exclaimed, your voice half-scolding, half-amused.
jake groaned, shaking his head as if he couldnât believe what heâd just heard. âseriously, man? and no, jay would never allow it. neither would i.â
âa guy can dream, canât he?â heesung shrugged nonchalantly, but the hint of a smirk tugging at his lips made it clear he wasnât entirely serious. when he noticed the way you and jake were looking at him, though, he quickly backtracked. âwhat? come on, guys, iâm joking!â
your gaze shifted back to jay, who was still caught in the same uncomfortable interaction. the girl was leaning far too close, her giggles annoyingly loud, and you couldnât help but feel a flicker of jealousy in your chest. not that youâd ever admit it to them. instead, you waved it off casually.
âwell, hope he has fun with her,â you said breezily, already trying to steer the conversation elsewhere. you werenât about to let them notice the little twinge of irritation creeping in. besides, comparing his body language with you and her, jay truly was different with you. his smiles, his touches, his attentionâit all felt more genuine when it was directed your way. that alone was enough to ease your nerves.
âare you crazy? go save your man!â jake urged, his voice insistent.
âheâll be fine,â you replied, brushing it off with a casual shrug, though the sight of the girl inching closer made your stomach twist just a bit more.
a pause hung between you before heesung spoke up, his voice lowering conspiratorially. âyou know... i heard from a very reliable source that jay likes it when a girl gets jealous...â
you raised an eyebrow, the skepticism clear on your face. âoh, does he now?â. it sounded out of character for jay. he was mature and grounded, the type of guy who would probably find possessiveness off-putting, or so you thought.
âseriously,â jake chimed in, nodding earnestly. âhe thinks itâs hot when a girl gets territorial over him. like, itâs his thing or something.â
you hummed thoughtfully, swirling your drink. their sudden insistence felt suspicious, but you couldnât deny the idea intrigued you.
âgo,â heesung urged, motioning for you to stand up. his expression was equally playful and determined.
you sighed dramatically, leaning back against the couch as though the mere suggestion exhausted you. âwhat if i scare my number one hoe away?â you joked, your voice laced with sarcasm.
the boys burst into laughter but quickly recovered, their expressions shifting to something more earnest. jake shook his head. ânah, youâre good. heâs your hoe, and he knows it.â
their encouragement made you hesitate. part of you wanted to stand your ground, but the other part of youâthe side that had been waiting for some kind of signal from jayâfelt the push. maybe they were right. maybe this was the moment.
heesung, ever the instigator, leaned closer, his smirk teasing. âwhat, are you scared now? all that confidence earlier, and now you're pussying out?â
his words struck a nerve. without another thought, you grabbed your drink in one hand and reached for jayâs drink with the other, standing up with newfound purpose.
before heading off, you turned to them, narrowing your eyes in warning. âif this messes things up with jay because of your little scheme, weâre gonna have a serious problem.â
jake and heesung exchanged triumphant glances, their grins growing wide. âawh, so you do care about him,â jake teased softly, his voice dripping with adoration.
you rolled your eyes but couldnât hide the small smile tugging at your lips as you turned and made your way toward jay. behind you, the boys exchanged triumphant looks, dapping each other up and eagerly shifting in their seats to get the best view of the chaos theyâd just unleashed.
if you were sober right now, this wouldâve been much harder. but walking through this high-end club with liquid courage warming your veins made it feel almost too easy. heads turned as you passed, lingering stares trailing over your figure. the way people looked at youâlike you were the only person in the roomâonly fueled your confidence. but your eyes were locked on one person: jay.
every step you took toward him felt like a small victory, closing the distance between you two. your heart pounded in anticipation, but you pushed the feeling aside, focusing on your goal. the world around you blurred, the dim lights, music, and whispers fading into the background.
jay noticed you before you reached him. his expression shifted from mild confusion to relief, and finally, a soft, welcoming smile. he seemed caught off guard by your determined stride, as if trying to piece together why you were heading straight for him.
when you stopped in front of him, his gaze locked onto yours, his dark eyes searching your face. without missing a beat, you offered him a warm smile and extended his drinkâthe one youâd deliberately taken earlier to sell the illusion. âbabe, what took you so long?â you teased, your tone light but purposeful, laced with playful mischief.
jay blinked, taking the drink from you, his brows furrowing slightly. before he could question you, you slid your arm around his back, your fingers brushing the fabric of his shirt as you pulled yourself closer. leaning in, your lips pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. the simple act was sweet, innocent even, but the way your lips lingered for just a second longer than necessary made it impossible for him to dismiss.
he. was. stunned.
his body stiffened slightly under your touch, and as you leaned back, you caught the way his jaw subtly tensed, his lips parted in shock. the confident exterior jay always carried faltered, and the rare sight of him flustered filled you with a quiet satisfaction.
you turned your attention to the girl standing beside him, who had gone completely silent. she stared at you, her expression uncertain, her confidence visibly shaken. you extended your hand toward her, your movements poised and deliberate. âhi, iâm y/n,â you said smoothly, your tone polite but firm, like you were both introducing yourself and reminding her of your place beside jay.
the girl hesitated, glancing between you and jay before awkwardly shaking your hand. she mumbled her name in response, her voice lacking the boldness sheâd shown just moments earlier.
you took a slow sip of your drink, studying her with a small smile. âoh, was i interrupting something?â you asked, tilting your head slightly, your tone feigning innocence but carrying an undercurrent of teasing.
before she could answer, jayâs voice cut in. âno, of course not,â he said firmly, his gaze flicking to you, his tone making it clear that your presence wasnât unwelcome.
the girl, however, looked like she wanted to argue, her lips parting before snapping shut again. she fidgeted awkwardly before finally speaking. âoh, um, i guess iâll see you around, jay,â she said, her tone quieter now, unsure.
you watched her turn to leave, noting the stiffness in her stride as she hurried back to her friends, who immediately erupted into cheers and claps. the scene was almost laughable, but your attention was drawn back to jay, who had relaxed against the wall. his signature smirk slowly returned, his eyes fixed on you with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine.
âwhyâd you do all that?â he asked, his voice low and teasing, yet there was a hint of something deeperâcuriosity, maybe even hope.
âwhat?â you replied, your voice casual as you leaned against the wall beside him. âyou looked uncomfortable.â
jay chuckled softly, shaking his head. âbullshit,â he said, his smirk widening.
âoh, so you werenât?â you shot back, your eyebrow raising in challenge.
his silence spoke volumes. his eyes, dark and focused, roamed your face, lingering on your lips before meeting your gaze again.
âwere you jealous?â he asked finally, his voice dipping lower, the smirk never leaving his face.
your heart skipped a beat, but you refused to let him see how easily he got under your skin. instead, you rolled your eyes, a smirk of your own forming. âdid you want her all over you like that?â
jayâs expression shifted slightly, the teasing glint in his eyes sharpening into something more serious, more deliberate. without warning, he pushed himself off the wall, closing the distance between you in a single step.
his free hand found your waist, the warmth of his palm searing through the thin fabric of your dress. âsoâŚâ he murmured, his voice a mix of challenge and seduction. his fingers brushed against the curve of your hip, slow and deliberate. âyou wouldnât be jealous if i was this close to her?â
his lips hovered near your ear, his breath warm against your skin. âif i touched her like this?â he continued, his hand sliding lower, his fingertips grazing the small of your back.
âif i kissed her?â his voice dropped further, his lips brushing your neck, the faintest, softest touch that sent a wave of heat flooding through you.
your breath hitched, your body betraying you as a sharp jolt of desire coiled low in your stomach. his scent surrounded youâwoodsy, rich, and utterly intoxicating. your knees felt weak, and you gripped your drink tighter, the only thing keeping you steady.
jay pulled back slightly, his eyes scanning your face, waiting for your response. âhm?â he prompted, his tone daring, his smirk back in full force.
you swallowed hard, struggling to regain control. his presence was overwhelming, every inch of him drawing you closer, making it impossible to think straight. but you werenât going to let him win so easily.
locking eyes with him, you returned his daring stare. âwe both know who youâre taking home tonight,â you said, your voice low, steady, and full of confidence.
his eyebrow quirked, intrigued by your defiance. âthat doesnât answer my question, baby,â he murmured, the pet name rolling off his tongue with a smoothness that sent a fresh wave of heat coursing through you.
you inhaled deeply, trying to steady your breathing. âi think you already know the answer,â you whispered.
âi want to hear you say it,â he demanded softly, his voice laced with authority.
you let out a shaky breath, your walls finally crumbling. âyou make me crazy,â you admitted, the words barely audible.
his hand slid lower, his fingers teasing the curve of your ass as he leaned in closer. âis that so?â he whispered, his tone dripping with satisfaction.
but you werenât done. your hand lifted, fingers trailing along his neck, down his chest, and lower, stopping just above his belt. gripping the leather lightly, you tugged him closer, your lips brushing his ear. âtake me home and find out,â you murmured, your voice sultry and filled with promise.
jayâs eyes darkened, his jaw clenching slightly as his gaze dropped to your lips. for a moment, it felt like the world stopped, the tension between you crackling like electricity.
without another word, he pulled back, his phone already in his hand. âbet,â he said simply, his voice steady but his eyes still burning as he stepped around the corner to order a cab.
you leaned back against the wall, your heart racing, your skin still tingling from his touch. this was newâthis was something neither of you could ignore. and as the anticipation bubbled in your chest, you couldnât help but smile, knowing the night was far from over.
as jay disappeared around the corner to order the cab, you leaned back against the wall, attempting to steady your racing heart. his touch lingered like a trail of fire on your skin, and you couldnât shake the way his voiceâlow, teasing, and possessiveâhad made you feel utterly weak. you took another sip of your drink, the coolness doing little to extinguish the heat that had spread through your body.
your gaze wandered, and it didnât take long to find jake and heesung. they were still on the couch where youâd left them, and the moment your eyes met theirs, you regretted looking their way.
they were putting on a full-blown performance, clearly reenacting what little theyâd witnessed of your interaction with jay.
jake had an arm slung dramatically around heesungâs shoulders, doing his best impression of your earlier actions. heesung batted his eyelashes, clutching an imaginary drink as he leaned into jake.
âoh, stop, iâm blushing!â heesung teased, pretending to giggle as he tilted his head like he was expecting a kiss on the cheek. jake leaned in with exaggerated slowness, and the two burst into laughter before they could even finish the mock kiss.
it didnât end there. heesung suddenly straightened up, pulling an invisible belt like heâd seen you do with jay, his action dripping with playful exaggeration. jake let out a cackle, wheezing, barely able to contain himself.
their antics caught the attention of a few people around them, who were now glancing over and chuckling at their over-the-top performance.
you groaned inwardly, rolling your eyes. of course theyâd turn what little they saw into something absurd. but as ridiculous as they were, you couldnât help the small smile creeping onto your face.
jake was the first to notice you watching. his grin widened, and he immediately elbowed heesung, nodding in your direction. they both froze, their expressions turning comically innocent like they hadnât just been clowning you moments earlier.
it didnât last long. heesung gave you an exaggerated thumbs-up, his grin shameless.
âyouâre welcome!â he yelled across the room, loud enough for you to hear clearly over the music.
you sighed, lifting your hand to flip them off with a slow, deliberate motion.
jake clutched his chest in offense, gasping dramatically, throwing himself against heesung like heâd been struck. heesung shook his head, laughing, clearly enjoying the moment far too much.
you rolled your eyes, unable to hold back the grin that tugged at your lips. no matter how much they teased, you knew theyâd be cheering you on the whole way through. with one last amused glance at their ridiculous display, you turned your focus back to the moment ahead.
because as much as they enjoyed their antics, they didnât know what had just transpired between you and jay. and judging by the fire still burning in your chest, you werenât ready to share it with anyone just yet.
jay came back shortly after, his presence as confident as ever. âyou ready?â he asked with a teasing smirk, his hand slipping effortlessly into yours. the simple gesture made your stomach flutter, but you masked it with a coy smile, letting him lead you back toward the couch.
as you approached, it was painfully obvious jake and heesung had been up to no good. they sat there pretending to have the worldâs driest conversation about the âarchitectural integrityâ of the clubâs interior. their poorly hidden giggles betrayed them, and you could practically see the mischief radiating off them.
the moment their eyes landed on your intertwined hands, their mouths stretched into matching, shit-eating grins. they exchanged a quick look, clearly bursting with pride at their matchmaking success.
âweâre leaving,â jay announced nonchalantly, his tone cool and indifferent. âheading to y/nâs place.â
their grins widened, barely able to contain themselves.
âguysss,â jake whined dramatically, leaning forward with his chin in his hands. âdonât you wanna hang out with us a little longer? itâs been such a fun night.â
jay didnât even blink. âdonât ask dumb questions,â he said flatly, leaving jake mock-offended as he clutched his chest and let out an exaggerated gasp.
âwow, okay, guess weâre just chopped liver now,â heesung chimed in, shaking his head as if deeply betrayed.
you giggled, amused at their dramatics, as you walked around the table to grab your purse. but before you could escape, the boys were on their feet, ready to send you off with one last round of chaos.
heesung clapped jay on the back and said goodbye with a knowing smirk, but it was jake who went in for the kill.
as you bent down to pick up your bag, jake leaned in close, his voice low and teasing. âbe a good girl, yeah?â
you froze for half a second before whipping your head around to give him a sharp look. âjake,â you warned, your tone laced with disbelief.
he laughed, brushing it off like he hadnât just said something that would replay in your mind for the rest of the night. before you could respond, he pulled you into a suffocating hug, swaying you side to side like an overly affectionate big brother.
âjake,â you groaned, your voice strained. âif you donât let me go, iâm gonna throw up all over your ridiculously overpriced suit.â
he released you immediately, holding his hands up in mock surrender. âfine, fine,â he said with a grin. âbut you owe me for being such a great friend.â
jay shook his head, amused, as he stepped forward to dap up jake. meanwhile, you turned to heesung, who was already smirking as he pulled you into a hug.
âdo everything iâd do,â he muttered into your ear, his tone dripping with mischief.
you leaned back, raising an eyebrow. âhee, i think youâve got that saying wrong.â
he shrugged, his grin widening. ânah, you heard me.â
you rolled your eyes but couldnât help laughing. their antics were relentless.
as you turned to leave, heesung suddenly called out, âwait, jayâone more thing!â
jay sighed, already looking annoyed, but walked back over to him anyway.
heesung waved him closer, gesturing like he had some urgent, life-changing information to share. jay leaned down, and in one swift motion, heesung slipped something into his hand.
jay straightened up and opened his palm to reveal an xxl condom. your jaw dropped, and you clapped a hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter.
jay stared at the condom, then up at heesung, who was already grinning like a fool. jake was no better, nearly doubled over in silent laughter.
after a beat of silence, jay let out the most sarcastic laugh youâd ever heard, his expression deadpan as he raised his hand to dap up heesung.
heesung, thinking heâd succeeded in his prank, lifted his hand eagerlyâonly for jay to drop his own and toss the condom back at him with a straight face.
âyouâre actually insane,â jay said, shaking his head in disbelief as he turned to grab your hand.
you couldnât hold it in anymore, bursting into laughter as jay tried to pull you toward the exit.
âwhat, dude? we just donât wanna be uncles yet!â jake called after you, his voice full of fake concern.
without missing a beat, you turned your head back to them and shouted, âdonât worry. i have my own!â
their laughter exploded as jay finally led you away, his own chuckle slipping out as he shook his head. your friends were a pain, but you couldnât deny theyâd played a part in making the night unforgettable.
stepping outside into the crisp night air, the chill brushed against your skin, but it wasnât the cold that sent shivers down your spine. it was the situation. your mind, slightly hazy from the alcohol, began to clear as reality hit. this wasnât just another playful night with jay. there was something electric about this momentâsomething that made your nerves buzz and your heart race. despite the countless teasing and bold words exchanged between you two, the idea of acting on them felt entirely new, thrilling, and terrifying.
jay noticed the goosebumps on your arms almost immediately. without hesitation, he slipped off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders. the weight of it, the lingering scent of his cologne, enveloped you, and your pulse quickened. it was a simple gesture, but the effect it had on you was anything but. little did he know the goosebumps werenât from the coldâif anything, the alcohol had kept you warmâbut from the thought of him, his touch, his presence.
âthe cabâs going to be here in a couple of minutes,â he said softly, his voice cutting through the stillness of the night.
you nodded, leaning your back against the wrought iron fence in the dimly lit parking lot, your eyes trailing over him. jay looked impossibly handsome under the soft glow of the streetlights, his dark hair slightly tousled, his features sharp yet softened by the gentle lighting. you couldnât help the smile tugging at your lips as you admired him openly.
âwhat?â he asked, his usual confident tone faltering slightly as your gaze lingered.
ânothing,â you replied with a grin, your voice light and teasing. âyouâre just really handsome.â
he rolled his eyes, a soft laugh escaping him, but the faint blush dusting his cheeks didnât go unnoticed. âyouâre impossible,â he murmured, though the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth betrayed him.
he stepped closer, leaning his shoulder against the fence beside you. the proximity made your heart race, and when his eyes met yours again, the world seemed to slow down.
you shifted, turning your body fully to face him, the playful air between you giving way to something more vulnerable. âso,â you began, your voice softer now, âwho was that girl really?â
jay raised an eyebrow, his smile growing wider. âso you were jealous.â
you quickly shook your head, though you couldnât stop the small laugh that escaped. âi wasnât jealous. just curious,â you countered, though even you werenât convinced by your own words.
he chuckled, his laugh warm and low, sending a shiver down your spine. âshe was no one. honestly, she stopped me outside the bathroom and just started talking. i think her friends dared her or somethingâshe kept glancing back at this group of girls, and they were all staring and giggling like maniacs.â he shook his head, laughing at the absurdity of it.
you snorted, the ridiculousness of the situation breaking through your earlier tension. âsounds like quite the encounter.â
his gaze shifted then, darkening slightly as his teasing tone faded. âbut what about you?â he asked, his voice dropping. âwhy were jake and heesung being so flirty with you?â
you smirked, leaning in slightly. ânow look whoâs jealous.â
he scoffed, his hand brushing against yours as he closed the small gap between you. âof course iâm jealous. how could i not be?â his voice was lower now, his words deliberate and dripping with sincerity. âjust look at you.â
you tilted your head, a teasing smile playing on your lips. âwhat can i say, jongseong? youâre one lucky man.â
his expression softened, his eyes scanning your face like he was memorizing every detail. âi am,â he admitted quietly. âyouâre⌠unreal. like some angel who just fell out of the sky. i know it sounds cheesy, but⌠iâve never felt like this before. not about anyone.â
his words hung in the air, their weight settling over you and making your chest tighten. youâd always known jay was smooth with words, but the raw honesty in his voice now was enough to leave you speechless.
âshit,â he muttered, his eyes dropping to your lips. he trailed off, but the way his body leaned into yours told you everything he didnât say.
and then his lips were on yours, hot and insistent. the kiss was everything youâd imagined and more, his mouth moving against yours with a hunger that made your knees weak. you responded immediately, your hands tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.
his hand found your waist, gripping it firmly as his other braced against the fence behind you. the feel of his body pressed against yours, the heat radiating off him, was intoxicating. every nerve in your body seemed to light up under his touch, and when his teeth grazed your lower lip, a quiet moan slipped from you.
the sound seemed to embolden him, but before either of you could take it further, a car honked nearby, pulling you both out of the moment. you turned to see a sleek black car pulling up to the curb, the driver glancing your way with an unreadable expression.
jay let out a soft laugh, his forehead resting against yours for a brief moment before he pulled back slightly. âcabâs here,â he said, his voice still husky.
he took your hand, guiding you toward the car and opening the door for you. you slid in, rolling your eyes playfully at his gentlemanly ways but secretly loving every second of it. he climbed in after you, settling beside you and reaching over to buckle your seatbelt before you could. the small, intimate gesture made your heart flutter, and you leaned back into the seat, trying to compose yourself.
as the car pulled away, the tension between you two was palpable. the driverâs presence kept things quiet, but you could feel jayâs thigh pressing against yours, his hand resting dangerously close to your own.
âuh,â he began, clearing his throat awkwardly. âsorry if i was too forward back there. iââ
you cut him off with a quiet âshut up,â turning to him and pressing your lips to his once more.
jay stiffened briefly before relaxing, his hand finding its way to your thigh as you twisted to face him. the kiss deepened, your hands wandering over his chest, tracing the lines of his body. his fingers gripped your leg, sliding slightly upward, and your breath hitched at the contact.
you knew this was reckless, making out in the backseat of a cab with a stranger just feet away, but you couldnât bring yourself to care. all the tension that had built between you two over the past months was finally spilling over, and you werenât about to stop.
jay groaned softly when your teeth grazed his lower lip, and the sound sent another wave of heat through you. your lips left his, trailing kisses along his jaw and down his neck, and he leaned back slightly, giving you better access. you were just about to leave a mark when the car came to a sudden stop.
the abrupt halt had you both groaning in frustration, and jay pulled out his wallet, handing the driver a wad of cashâfar more than necessary. probably his way of apologizing for the awkward atmosphere you two had just created.
the driver nodded, clearly unimpressed but grateful for the generous tip. you climbed out of the car, jayâs hand finding yours again as he led you toward the entrance of your apartment complex. neither of you spoke, the tension still crackling between you, and you knew the night was far from over.
you rushed into the building, gripping jayâs hand tightly, your heels echoing against the floor as you practically dragged him toward the elevator. his fingers intertwined with yours, his palm warm and firm, grounding you even as anticipation buzzed through your veins. the cool air from outside had barely faded from your skin, but the heat between you two was already rekindling, more intense with every step. jay trailed close behind, his free hand brushing lightly against the small of your back, the touch sending sparks up your spine.
as soon as the elevator doors slid open, you stepped inside, your focus solely on the buttons as you pressed the one for your floor. jay, however, was far more interested in you than the machinery. the moment the doors closed, he moved behind you, his hands slipping around your waist to pull you against him. the action was gentle yet possessive, his lips already brushing the side of your neck.
âcouldnât wait until we got upstairs?â you teased breathlessly, tilting your head slightly to give him better access.
jay chuckled lowly, his voice a soft growl in your ear. ânot when you look like this.â his lips pressed against the sensitive skin of your neck, trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses from your jawline down to your shoulder. the heat of his breath and the softness of his lips left you shivering, though it had nothing to do with the air conditioning in the lift.
you let out a soft sigh, leaning your head back against his shoulder, your body molding itself against his. the faint scent of his cologne mingled with the lingering alcohol on his breath, a heady combination that made your thoughts blur. his hands began to roam, one slipping to rest on your hip while the other grazed the curve of your waist. each touch was slow and deliberate, as if he were trying to memorize every inch of you.
your breathing hitched when you felt his arousal pressing against your lower back. jayâs movements grew bolder, his lips finding a particularly sensitive spot on your neck that made you bite your lip to stifle a moan.
you spun around to face him, breaking his trail of kisses. the look in his eyesâdark and filled with needâmade your stomach twist in the best way. before he could say anything else, you grabbed his collar, pulling him down for a kiss. it was immediate and desperate, your mouths moving together as though you were starved for each other. your fingers threaded through his hair, tugging gently, and the low groan he let out only fueled the fire building inside you.
just as his hands slid lower, grazing the curve of your ass, the elevator dinged, the doors sliding open to reveal your floor. reluctantly, you pulled back, your lips swollen and your breathing heavy. jay didnât let go of you, though, his hand finding yours again as he guided you out of the elevator.
his steps faltered slightly as he looked down the wrong hallway. âthis way, right?â he asked, glancing at you with an innocent smile.
you rolled your eyes, tugging him gently in the opposite direction. âwrong way, loverboy,â you teased, your voice light despite the tension simmering between you.
he chuckled softly, following your lead, though he couldnât resist letting his gaze wander. walking behind you, his eyes drifted to the sway of your hips, and before he could stop himself, his hand reached out to deliver a light slap to your ass. you turned your head to glare at him, though the amused smile tugging at your lips gave you away..
as you approached your apartment door, you let go of jayâs hand, fishing through your purse for your keys. your fingers fumbled slightly, whether from the alcohol, the adrenaline, or jayâs wandering hands, which had returned to your waist, sliding over your curves with deliberate slowness. his lips brushed against the shell of your ear, and you could feel his smile against your skin.
âbe patient,â you teased, glancing over your shoulder to meet his heated gaze. âiâm not going anywhere.â
jay let out a low chuckle, but his hands betrayed his growing impatience, gripping your hips tighter. finally, you managed to retrieve the keys, unlocking the door with a satisfying click. before you could step inside, jay pushed the door open, his movements swift as he guided you in and closed it behind you. the door locked with a decisive snap, and just like that, the tension between you reignited.
his lips were on yours in an instant, the kiss messy and frantic. your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging just hard enough to draw a low growl from him, while his hands roamed freely, exploring every inch of you he could reach. you were drowning in him, lost in the heat of his touch and the intoxicating pull of his lips.
but just as your fingers found the buckle of his belt, jay abruptly pulled back, his hands falling to his sides as he stepped back slightly. the look on his face was one of hesitation, his brows furrowed as though he was wrestling with himself.
âare you okay?â you asked softly, your chest still heaving as you tried to catch your breath.
jay ran a hand through his hair, avoiding your gaze for a moment. âi just⌠are you sure you want to do this?â he asked, his voice quieter now. âweâre drunk⌠i just⌠i want our first time to be special.â his words were hesitant, uncharacteristically shy for someone usually so confident.
you blinked at him, his concerns sinking in. part of you wanted to laugh at the absurdity of itâafter all, you knew exactly what you wanted, and it was him. but the sincerity in his eyes stopped you. he wasnât just stalling for the sake of it; he truly cared.
he hesitated again, looking away as if he were afraid of your reaction. âi just donât want this to mess things up between us. i donât want you to regret it in the morning.â
you sighed, slipping off his jacket and hanging it neatly on a hook before toeing off your heels. âif you think thatâs best, then we donât have to do anything,â you said, stepping closer and cupping his face in your hands. âi trust you, jay.â
but despite your calm words, frustration simmered beneath the surface. he had left you on the edge, your body practically vibrating with need, and now he wanted to stop? you couldnât decide whether to laugh or cry at how ridiculous the situation was. still, you respected him too much to push.
jay bit his lip, his expression torn. âitâs not that i donât want to,â he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. âtrust me, iâve never wanted anything more. butâŚâ he trailed off, his eyes darting to the floor before meeting yours again. his teasing smirk returned, though it didnât quite reach his eyes. âhow about we pick this up tomorrow? first thing in the morning?â
you raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed but choosing not to argue. instead, you leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. âsure,â you murmured, though your tone betrayed your irritation.
you walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, trying to cool off in more ways than one. jay followed, leaning against the counter in silence. his jaw was tense, his eyes focused on some distant point as though deep in thought. it was clear he was second-guessing his decision, his discomfort only heightened by the obvious strain in his pants.
you smirked, an idea forming in your mind. setting your glass down, you leaned over the kitchen island, deliberately arching your back to give him a perfect view of your ass. the action snapped him out of his thoughts, his eyes darkening as they locked onto you.
âiâm going to take a shower,â you said casually, flipping your hair over your shoulder to expose your neckâthe same neck he had been so eager to mark earlier.
jayâs lips parted as if to say something, but he remained silent, his gaze fixed on you.
you started to walk away, throwing one last smirk over your shoulder. âgoodnight, loverboy,â you teased.
âwait,â he called out, his voice strained.
you turned, feigning innocence. âyes?â
he hesitated, his fists clenching at his sides. âare you sure⌠weâre on the same page?â
you bit back a laugh, recognizing his internal struggle for what it was. stepping closer, you looked up at him, your lips curving into a sly smile. âsure,â you said, your tone dripping with sarcasm. âbut honestly? i think youâre all talk.â
the words hit their mark, his jaw tightening as his ego flared. âfuck you,â he hissed, before pulling you against him, his lips crashing down on yours once more. his hand found your jaw, tilting your head to the side as he resumed his assault on your neck, this time with more intensity.
you grinned in success. finally, nothing was standing in your way.
he captured your lips again, his hands firm yet gentle as he guided you backward until the couch pressed against the back of your knees. without breaking the kiss, jayâs fingers skillfully found the zipper of your dress, pulling it down in one smooth motion. the fabric fell from your shoulders, pooling at your feet to reveal the black lace lingerie youâd chosen earlier that night. he pulled away momentarily, his gaze sweeping over your figure with a mix of admiration and desire.
as he began trailing kisses back toward your lips, his mouth left a burning path along your skinâstarting at your thighs, teasingly brushing against your clothed heat, moving to your stomach, breasts, collarbones, and finally back to your neck. each kiss was slow and deliberate, as though he wanted to savor every inch of you. he unclasped your bra, sliding it off and tossing it carelessly to the floor before his eyes returned to your bare chest.
jayâs lips parted slightly, and for a moment, he just stared, taking in the sight of you completely exposed before him. a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. âyouâre just too perfect, arenât you?â he murmured, his hands cupping your breasts, his thumbs brushing lightly over your sensitive peaks. âseriously, how the fuck did i get this lucky?â
his lips found your skin again, marking you as though he were leaving a map of his journey across your body. you rolled your eyes at his teasing, though a smirk of your own played on your lips.
âmaybe iâm the lucky one,â you shot back, sliding your hands beneath his sweater and tugging it over his head, revealing his toned chest. the sight of his defined muscles had your pulse racing, but you didnât let it distract you. with newfound determination, you moved to unbuckle his belt, picking up where youâd left off in the heat of the moment earlier. in one swift motion, you pulled his pants and boxers down together, his erection springing free.
the size of him caught you off guard, your eyes widening slightly as you connected the dots about the xxl condom heeseung had teased him about. jay noticed your reaction and let out a low chuckle, his confidence only growing. âlooks like i wasnât the only one talking a big game,â he teased, his smirk widening.
your gaze snapped back to his, a spark of determination flaring in your chest. you were going to prove him wrong. you sank to your knees in front of him, your fingers brushing against his thighs as you prepared to take him in your mouth, but before you could, he grabbed your waist, lifting you effortlessly and laying you back onto the couch.
âyou first, princess,â he said, the nickname sending a shiver through you. he grinned at the way your body seemed to melt beneath his touch, leaning down to kiss your lips one more time before shifting lower.
his hands found the sides of your hips, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your panties and sliding them down your legs. the cool air against your bare skin only heightened your anticipation as he tossed the fabric aside. his gaze lingered on your glistening core, and he let out a low groan.
âfuck, youâre flawless,â he murmured, his voice thick with desire. âand so fucking wet.â
âjust for you, seongie,â you teased, the nickname making his head tilt slightly as he bit his lip. the effect it had on him was clear, and you took advantage of it, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling him closer. âdonât make me wait,â you whispered impatiently.
jayâs tongue traced a slow, deliberate line along your slit, and the sensation had your body trembling almost instantly. he smiled against you, the vibration of his amusement only adding to the intensity. his lips wrapped around your most sensitive spot, sucking gently before his tongue began working in circles. your back arched involuntarily, a string of soft moans spilling from your lips.
âjay,â you managed to mumble, though your voice was barely audible over the sound of your own heartbeat. hearing his name roll off your tongue so sweetly made him hum in response, the added stimulation pushing you closer to the edge.
the knot in your stomach tightened, your body reacting to every flick and stroke of his tongue. an idea sparked in your mind, and with a shaky breath, you tugged lightly at his hair, pulling him back just enough to speak. his face was glistening with your slick, his lips swollen and his pupils blown wide. he looked utterly wreckedâand you hadnât even touched him yet.
âtouch yourself,â you said breathlessly, your voice laced with both a command and a plea.
his lips curled into a smirk, but he didnât hesitate. one hand disappeared between his legs as he dove back in, his tongue working you over with renewed vigor. the combination of his moans and yours filled the room, each sound pushing you both closer to your breaking points. your hips bucked against his face, seeking more, and he didnât hold back, gripping your thighs to keep you steady as he devoured you.
the tension in your core finally snapped, and your release crashed over you in waves, your body trembling as you cried out his name. jay groaned against you, his movements slowing as he licked you clean, savoring every drop of your climax. his own hand stilled, though it was clear he was still achingly hard.
when he pulled back, his face was flushed, his lips parted as he caught his breath. his gaze locked onto yours, his eyes dark with unspoken need.
you reached out, brushing your fingers against his jaw. âmy turn,â you murmured, a mischievous glint in your eye.
jay leaned back against the couch, his chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. a satisfied smirk played on his lips, a mixture of pride and disbelief settling in as he replayed the last few minutes in his mind. he couldnât help but feel impressed with himself for holding it together as long as he hadâespecially considering how hard it was not to lose control the moment you kissed him in the cab. inwardly, he gave himself a silent pat on the back.
you, however, werenât finished. sitting up on shaky legs, you closed the gap between you, capturing his lips in a heated kiss. it was messy and unrestrained, your tongue brushing against his as you tasted yourself on his lips. the act alone sent another wave of arousal through your body, and jay groaned into the kiss, his fingers grazing your jaw to pull you closer.
breaking the kiss, you slid down onto your knees in front of him. jayâs dark eyes followed you, his body tense with anticipation as his chest heaved. his gaze was heavy, and you could see the thin layer of sweat glistening on his skin. he leaned back into the couch, spreading his legs slightly to give you better access. the weight of his arousal was evident, his cock flushed and rigid, standing tall between his thighs.
you started slow, trailing light kisses along the inside of his thighs. his muscles twitched under your touch, and a low groan escaped his lips. your fingers wrapped around his length, stroking him gently as you worked your way closer. jay tilted his head back, his eyes fluttering shut as he let the sensation wash over him. but that wasnât what you wanted. you wanted his attentionâall of it.
you paused abruptly, releasing him from your grasp. his eyes snapped open, the confusion and slight panic evident as he looked down at you. âwhatâs wrong?â he asked, his voice husky and laced with concern.
you tilted your head, your tone firm but teasing as you commanded, âlook at me.â
jayâs brows furrowed, and a soft, involuntary moan slipped from his lips. there was something about the dominance in your voice, the way you took control, that drove him wild. âyes, maâam,â he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes locking with yours.
satisfied with his obedience, you resumed your teasing, your tongue flicking out to lick a slow line from the base of his shaft to the tip. your movements were deliberate, your eyes never leaving his as you circled the sensitive head with your tongue, tasting the salty bead of precum that had already formed. his breath hitched, and his hands clenched at his sides as he fought to keep himself grounded.
when you finally took him into your mouth, jayâs hand instinctively found its way to your hair. he gathered it into a ponytail, his grip firm yet careful, as though he were afraid of hurting you. you started slow, taking as much of him as you could manage, though his size made it a challenge. your cheeks hollowed as you sucked, and jay let out a deep groan, his hips shifting slightly.
âfuck,â he muttered, his voice strained as he tried to keep himself in check. but the sight of you on your knees, your lips wrapped around him, was too much. his resolve was crumbling, and he knew it.
each time you slid him deeper into your mouth, the tip of his cock brushed against the back of your throat, making you gag softly. jay noticed your struggle and let out a low chuckle, his voice tinged with both amusement and lust. âyouâre doing so good, baby,â he praised, his hand gently guiding your movements as he pushed and pulled on your hair.
you used one hand to stroke the length you couldnât take, your movements synchronized with the bobbing of your head. occasionally, you pulled back to catch your breath, your hand continuing to work him as you pressed kisses and sucked lightly along his length, teasing him further. jay was a mess, his lips parted as he panted, his head falling back against the couch. his other hand gripped the cushion tightly as he tried to keep himself together.
âlet me hear you, jay,â you murmured, your voice soft but commanding. âdonât hold it back.â
his head snapped back up at your words, his dark eyes meeting yours as he finally let go. a string of deep, guttural moans poured from his lips, each one making your core tighten with need. the sounds of his pleasure were addictive, spurring you on as you sucked harder, your cheeks hollowing to intensify the sensation.
you quickened your pace, your hand and mouth working together seamlessly. jayâs grip on your hair tightened slightly, his hips bucking up involuntarily as he lost himself in the pleasure. âfuck, baby, iâm close,â he warned, his voice shaky and breathless.
with one final swirl of your tongue around his tip and a firm stroke of your hand, jayâs body tensed. his release came in hot, thick spurts down your throat, and you swallowed every drop without hesitation. his moans echoed through the room, raw and unrestrained, as his body shuddered from the intensity of his climax.
you pulled back slowly, licking your lips and catching any stray drops that had escaped. jay looked completely wrecked, his chest heaving as he tried to regain his composure. his head lolled back against the couch, and his eyes fluttered shut as a satisfied groan escaped his lips.
but you werenât done. the ache between your legs was unbearable, and the sight of jay so undone only made it worse. your thighs pressed together instinctively, trying to find some relief, but it wasnât enough.
jay opened his eyes, his gaze heavy with exhaustion but still laced with hunger. he noticed the way you were squirming, your need evident in the way you looked at him. a lazy smirk spread across his face. âlooks like someone needs a little more attention,â he teased, his voice low and teasing. you bit your lip, your cheeks flushing slightly as you nodded.
jay reached out, his fingers brushing against your cheek before trailing down your body. âthen let me take care of you,â he murmured, his smirk shifting into a soft, genuine smile.
jay smirked at the match of energy you gave him, his hands resting on your hips as you slowly adjusted yourself in his lap to straddle him. your eyes locked, the unspoken tension in the air making your breaths heavier before you leaned in, capturing his lips in a kiss that was far more heated than the ones before. it was raw, passionate, and both of you couldnât help the soft moans that escaped into each other's mouths as you tasted the combined remnants of yourselves on each otherâs tongues.
his hands traveled down your body, settling on your ass and squeezing firmly. the action made you gasp against his lips, and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss further. when he broke away, he trailed his lips back down to your chest, focusing his attention on your breasts once more, kissing, sucking, and lightly biting the sensitive flesh. sweet hums slipped from your lips as your fingers tangled in his hair, keeping him exactly where you wanted him.
you started grinding against him slowly, your arousal evident as you rubbed yourself along his length, desperate for more. jay groaned into your skin, his hands moving to hold your hips firmly in place. one of his hands slid down between your thighs, his fingers finding your clit and circling it softly, the touch sending jolts of electricity through your body.
you pulled his lips back to yours for another deep, messy kiss, the moan in your throat muffled as you whispered, âplease, jay.â
he froze for a moment, your plea echoing in his mind. he didnât even need you to beg, but hearing those words fall from your lips so willingly ignited something deep inside him. "fuck, princess," he murmured against your lips before leaning forward to reach for his pants, holding you steady with one hand so you wouldnât fall back.
jay pulled out a condom from his pocket, his lips quirking into a grin. you laughed softly, tilting your head back. âhow ironic,â you teased. âi was wondering why you didnât take the ones from hee earlier. now i guess i know why.â
he laughed against your shoulder, his breath warm on your skin. âyouâre making me look crazy, like i planned this whole thing from the start.â
you bit your lip, trying to keep a straight face but failing miserably. âyou didnât?â you asked, feigning offense.
âit spawned in my pocket, okay? end of topic,â he quipped, his grin wide. ânow kiss me and forget we even had this conversation.â
you shook your head, laughing, but complied, leaning in to kiss him deeply as he fumbled to open the condom behind your back. once it was ready, he leaned back slightly, rolling it on before meeting your gaze.
placing your hands on his shoulders, you slowly lifted yourself, adjusting to align yourself with him. the anticipation built as you began to lower yourself, his tip stretching you inch by inch. you both groaned at the overwhelming sensation, your tightness making it difficult to take him in completely.
jayâs hand came up to stroke your head gently, his thumb brushing soothingly along your temple. âslow down, princess,â he murmured, his tone soft and reassuring. âiâm not going anywhere.â
his words sent a wave of calm through you, allowing you to relax and adjust. a small giggle escaped your lips, and jay smirked at the sound, pleased to see you loosening up. with a deep breath, you lowered yourself fully, gasping as he filled you completely. his hands settled back on your hips, his eyes scanning your face for any sign of discomfort.
âyouâre doing so good, baby,â he praised, his voice filled with genuine admiration. the way he said it, so sweet and sincere, made you lean forward and kiss him again, your lips pressing against his in a needy, desperate way. slowly, you began to move, grinding yourself up and down his length.
the initial sting of pain dissolved into pure pleasure as you found your rhythm, your hips rolling fluidly against him. jay met your movements halfway, his own hips snapping up to match your pace. his grip on your waist tightened as his other hand trailed up to cup your breast, his thumb brushing over your sensitive nipple.
the sounds in the room were sinfulâbreathless moans, gasps, and the slick sound of your bodies meeting in perfect harmony. your brows furrowed, your lips parting as waves of pleasure rippled through you. jay cursed under his breath at the sight of you, his own restraint faltering as he felt his release creeping closer.
âfuck, youâre perfect,â he groaned, leaning forward to capture your lips once again. his lips trailed down your jawline to your neck, where he nipped and kissed, leaving faint marks behind. the added sensation made you tremble, and your movements quickened, your thighs burning as you chased your high.
jayâs fingers found your clit again, rubbing circles against it in time with your thrusts. the overwhelming pleasure sent you over the edge, a loud, broken moan escaping your lips as you came undone. jay wasnât far behind, his grip on your hips tightening as he buried himself deep inside you, releasing with a guttural groan.
you collapsed against his chest, both of you struggling to catch your breath as you came down from the high. your foreheads rested together, your sweaty skin sticking slightly as you shared soft, lazy kisses. the silence that followed was peaceful, filled with nothing but the sound of your heavy breathing.
jay broke the quiet first, his voice soft and unsure. âbe my girlfriend?â
you laughed lightly, lifting your head to look at him. âyou shouldâve asked that before we had sex,â you teased, your tone playful.
jayâs face lit up with laughter, his deep chuckles shaking both of your bodies. âokay, fair,â he admitted, nodding. âmay i be your boyfriend, then?â he asked again, this time with a slight pout that made your heart flutter.
you smirked, pretending to think it over. âyouâre getting closerâŚâ
he tilted his head, pretending to be deep in thought before blurting out, âbe my wife.â
you laughed, poking his chest. âthatâs a little forward, donât you think?â you teased. then, softening, you added, âbut⌠yes.â
jayâs eyes lit up, and he pulled you into a deep, passionate kiss, his hands cradling your face as he grinned against your lips. the moment was interrupted by the sharp sound of a phone ringing. jay groaned in frustration, leaning back to grab his phone from where it had fallen in his pants.
when he checked the screen, both of your eyes locked on the caller ID. âcupids' worst minion?â you giggled, amused at the nickname.
jay sighed. âjake,â he muttered, earning a laugh from you. âheâs the worst at giving advice... but i guess it worked out. might have to rethink that nickname later.â
he answered the call, putting it on speaker. âoh, god, jay, you picked up?â jakeâs voice came through, laced with panic. âi donât know if thatâs a good sign.â
you giggled as jay rolled his eyes. in the background, you could hear faint laughter and the unmistakable voices of the rest of the group. âayo, you busy right now?â jungwonâs voice cut through, and you both exchanged amused looks.
âkinda, yeah,â jay replied, smirking at you.
âokay, iâll be quick,â jungwon said hurriedly. âhowâs it going with your future wife? hee and jake told us everythingâdetails and allâand iâm losing it. give us an update!â
both you and jay burst into laughter, the sound making the other line fall silent. jay smirked at the phone. âyeah, weâre locked in,â he said confidently.
silence followed for a beat before the loudest cheering erupted from the other end. you and jay laughed along with them, the sound of your shared joy filling the room.
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