#your idea was absolutely fantastic and robin DESERVES a cute girlfriend

[trensu]

Eddie saw the ad. Chrissy had not wanted Eddie to see the ad. Chrissy saw the ad two days ago and knew that under no circumstances could Eddie see the ad.

"Chris. Chris. Chrissy. Chrissy-topher," Eddie said with the grin that Chrissy had been dreading. She kicked herself for not having thrown out the college newspaper sooner.

"No," she tried.

"Yes," Eddie countered.

"I can't!"

"You can!" Eddie insisted. "Chrissy, the stars have aligned. The fates have intervened. Destiny's knocking at your door. This is the perfect opportunity."

"I am not going," Chrissy said, already feeling her defenses crumbling in the face of Eddie's exuberance.

"Joy of my heart, sunshine for my soul, my darling lady love," Eddie crooned. "I will drag you there kicking and screaming if I have to. I will stuff you in a body bag and carry you there myself."

"As if you even could, you nerd!"

"Hey, I might have noodle arms but you're like a twig. Even I can lift a twig. Chrissy, you've been mooning over this girl since the start of the semester. This is your chance!"

"No! I'll just look like an idiot if I go," Chrissy said morosely. "She's barely noticed me even after I asked her questions in class. She probably hates me."

"She doesn't hate you," Eddie said, rolling his eyes the same as he had every other time Chrissy had brought it up. "It's scientifically impossible to hate you."

"She barely looks at me!"

"She was probably just nervous."

"She thinks I'm a ditz, too!"

"How could you possibly know that?

"I asked about our linguistics homework once--because you know, she can't ignore me if I'm asking about our class, right?--she laughed at me!

"Hang on, you told me she helped you out with that and was super nice about it."

"After she laughed at me! And why is she even in intro to linguistics anyway? She can already speak like five different languages."

"That's why you can't shut up about her, huh? 'Cuz she's so mean. 'Oooh, Eddie, Robin said the smartest thing in class today' or 'Eddie, Robin's started wearing ties and suspenders, she looks sooooo handsome' or 'when will she pin me down on the nearest surface and f--"

Chrissy yelped, face aflame, and slapped a hand over Eddie's mouth.

"I've never said that last thing!" Chrissy said, which was true.

Eddie licked the palm of her hand.

"Ew!"

"Maybe not out loud, but we know each other in uncomfortably intimate ways, Chris. I know you've thought about it."

...that was also true. But only when she was in bed! After dark! Alone!

Chrissy groaned and buried her face in her hands. She grimaced when her moist palm touched her cheek but she couldn't make herself uncover her face again. She screwed her eyes shut.

Eddie pried her hand off her face and held it gently in both of his. She peeked an eye open and Eddie's face was a picture of compassion and sympathy.

"I like her so much, it's scary," Chrissy whimpered.

"I know," Eddie said. "But I really think you have a shot. You're beautiful and sweet and you have the biggest heart. Besides, you've never spoken to her outside of class! Things will be different in a new setting. Trust me, I'm an experienced DM. I know these things."

"I doubt it," Chrissy giggled weakly. Eddie shrugged.

"But you'll regret it if you don't try, won't you?"

"Yeah," Chrissy said in defeat.

"Great! Make sure to wear your skimpiest skirt and your 'gonna get laid' lipstick. We're getting you a girlfriend."

--

There were so many women here. Butch women, femme women and everything in between. Chrissy was a small-town girl at heart and liked to dress pretty, but she was kind of regretting not taking Eddie's advice about wearing something that would 'display the goods.' Some of these women were smoking hot. There was no way Robin was even going to notice she was here.

She watched Robin talk animatedly with a group of suitors. Her best friend, who Chrissy recognized but couldn't remember his name, was at her side smiling widely and participating in the conversation as well. Chrissy wanted to go join them.

She used to be so popular in high school. People would come to her in droves to talk to her; it was never something she had to work at. She wasn't even sure what drew people to her back then, outside of the cheer uniform. She didn't know how to charm anyone, really. And there were so many more people in college than there were in her dinky hometown.

Eddie tried to push her to join that group, but Chrissy shook her head frantically.

"I'm not ready, I can't," she told him, more panicky than intended.

Eddie eyed her.

"You need some low stakes practice," Eddie declared, and started pulling her to other groups of women.

They were much easier to talk to, and after the first couple of times, she began to feel confident enough to approach others on her own. Eddie left her side at one point. The next time he reappeared he was showing off a slip of paper with a number on it.

"Who gave you that?" Chrissy laughed. Eddie pointed to a butch woman with thick arms, wearing a bi pride pin.

"She claims to have an impressive strap collection. I told her I'd have to see it to believe it," Eddie said with a saucy grin. "She said if I'm a good boy, she'd put me on my back and give me a live demonstration."

"Oh my god," Chrissy said between giggles. Eddie nudged her playfully, glancing around and taking in the upbeat atmosphere. His face broke into a mischievous smile.

"So now you have to get Robin's number. How could you live with yourself knowing I was a better lesbian than you at this lesbian mixer? Where's your queer pride?"

He reached out and gave her a twirl that had her stumbling back a few steps.

"Eddie, watch it!" Chrissy tried to say but she crashed into someone behind her.

There was a tangle of flailing limbs. She and the person Eddie all but threw her into ended up landing roughly on the ground. Both of them struggled to get up but moving simultaneously like that resulted in both of them sitting on the floor rather than back on their feet.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," the other person said when they caught their breath. "I'm a total klutz, ask anyone."

Chrissy squirmed to get off the person's lap. She couldn't bear look this person in the eye. She was going to die of embarrassment and her ghost was gonna come back to murder Eddie. Eddie, of course, had mysteriously disappeared. He was always good at running, the jerk.

"No," Chrissy said, face red. "My fault. I'm sor--"

"Chrissy?"

Chrissy looked up in surprise to see beautiful clear eyes. Robin's beautiful clear eyes. Her cheeks were dusted prettily in pink. Chrissy couldn't help but glance down at her soft-looking lips, and the handsome line of her jaw for just a second.

"Robin!" Chrissy said, her voice an octave higher than normal. She wanted the ground to swallow her up.

"But we're not in linguistics," Robin blurted. "I mean, obviously we're not, because you're here. Why are you here? I didn't know you'd be here. Not that you're not allowed! It's a free country."

As Robin spoke, Chrissy became aware of the hand on her thigh, just above the knee where her skirt had ridden up slightly. Robin's thumb rubbed back and forth on the fabric of the skirt while the rest of her fingers twitched restlessly against her bare skin.

"I saw the ad," Chrissy said, watching Robin curiously.

Robin's eyes flicked to her face before darting away every so often. She didn't seem to know that her hand was on Chrissy's thigh. Chrissy, on the other hand, was very aware and would later re-imagine the feeling of it but significantly higher up along her thigh in the privacy of her bedroom.

"Ha, yeah, the ad. That was my roommate. I said I wanted a study group, but he misunderstood and thought I wanted, like, a gay club or something, and he can be kind of a dummy sometimes with words so the ad didn't come out right at all--"

"People are having fun though," Chrissy said, now trying to stay very still so Robin wouldn't notice that they were both still sitting sprawled on the ground. If she did, she might push Chrissy off her lap and that was unacceptable.

"Yeah, he's great at parties but I still don't have a study group. Did you finish the linguistics study guide we got last class? I haven't. My spot in the library was taken and it's the only place I can concentrate. Do you study at the library? I don't think I've seen you there. I usually study late so if you came in the mornings, I wouldn't have seen you. I would've noticed if you were there while I was there. I always notice when you're around. But not in a stalker way! In a totally normal, un-creepy way."

Chrissy laughed suddenly as she realized something.

"Robin," Chrissy giggled. "Am I making you nervous?"

"N-no!" Robin blustered. "I mean, why would I be--why would you make me--that's ridiculous!"

Confidence bubbled up in Chrissy's chest the longer Robin rambled.

"Are you sure? Because you haven't let me answer any of your questions," Chrissy teased. Robin's pink cheeks darkened. "And you've had your hand under my skirt but you haven't done anything with it yet."

Robin's eyes widened.

"FUCK." She snatched up her hands and raised them in the air like she was being held at gunpoint. "Chrissy, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to."

Chrissy took that as her cue to carefully get to her feet and offered Robin a hand up. Robin took it, obviously embarrassed, and let go as soon as she was up. Robin jammed her hands into her pockets.

"I would've said something sooner if I minded," Chrissy said with a shy smile. If her hair hadn't been tied back, she would've pulled it over to cover her mouth. It was a terrible habit she'd picked up from Eddie, but it was surprisingly comforting to do.

"Oh," Robin said breathlessly with a thunderstruck expression. She said nothing else, and they stood there staring at each other for the longest minute of Chrissy's life. Her nerves started to jangle again.

"I haven't done that study guide yet," Chrissy said in a rush before she could chicken out. "If you need a study partner, maybe you could give me your number and we can schedule something? I'm not as good at it as you but I can try to help."

"No, you're, you're great! We can totally study together. Let me just--" Robin patted herself down looking for a pen.

"Here you go," Eddie said, reappearing from out of nowhere. He handed Robin a blue pen.

"Thanks," Robin muttered distractedly. She took Chrissy's hand and carefully wrote down her number on Chrissy's palm in tidy handwriting.

Chrissy was about to say something, anything, to continue the conversation, but someone called out for Robin. Robin looked towards where the voice came from and waved. She turned back to Chrissy.

"I better go see what he wants," Robin said quickly. She nervously tapped on the number she'd written on Chrissy's palm. "We sprung for an answering machine so you can call whenever and I'll call back right away, okay?"

"Sure," Chrissy said. "I'll call you soon."

"Great," Robin said, still looking a bit stunned. "Um, bye."

Robin all but ran away. Chrissy might've taken offense to that, except that Robin couldn't help but look back to wave at Chrissy like a dork, and tripped over her own feet. Fortunately, she was able to catch herself. Chrissy sighed dreamily as Robin disappeared.

She spun on her heel and jabbed Eddie in the chest with one manicured finger.

"You did that on purpose!"

Eddie made his eyes go wide and innocent. Eddie had never been innocent a day in his life, as far as Chrissy was concerned, so she wasn't falling for it.

"I would never!" Eddie exclaimed, placing an affronted hand over his heart. Chrissy caught a glimpse of blue ink on Eddie's forearm as he performed his dramatics. She snatched to to her.

"What's this? You got another girl's number??"

It was Eddie's turn to sigh dreamily.

"No, there's a guy here with fantastic hair. He gave me his number. Chrissy, he used to be on the basketball team. He's so fucking hot. I would be such a good boy for him," Eddie said breathily.

"You and your jock obsession."

"Says the girl who pulled a nerd."

"Smart girls are hot! Robin knows--"

"--like five different languages. Yeah, I heard," Eddie laughed as Chrissy shoved him. "Do you think she can talk dirty in all of them?"

"Oh, no."

"You didn't think of that, huh?"

"Oh, no."

"You're welcome."

"I hate you," Chrissy said. "C'mon, lets go home before she hears you."

"...so are you gonna need some alone time when we got home or can we watch a movie together?"

"Hate. Hate."

--

A month later, Chrissy returns from her first night over at Robin's, after her roommate had graciously made himself scarce. Eddie was lounging on their couch, eating cereal and watching cartoons. He catches her eye and smirks.

"Good night?" he asked.

"Uh-huh," Chrissy said blissfully.

"So?"

"Hm?"

"Dirty talk. How many languages?"

"All of them," Chrissy said smugly.

Steve tries to create an LGBT club at his college (so that Robin can meet more people and have queer friends) and ends up accidentally putting out a want ad for her

First meeting comes and every single attendant is a suitor for Robin

[sulietsexual]

Its been a while since I asked you meta related things so I just had a random idea - top 5 characters which you just dont understand, top 5 ch which are well writen but you cant connect or like, top 5 ch storylines you would like to alter, top 5 traits of your disliked chracters that you like, top 5 traits of your loved characters you dislike, top 5 ways your disliked characters contributed to the main storyline that youre fine with. For males and females separately so theres room for thought :)

Top 5 Characters I Don’t Understand

Male

Wesley Wyndam Pryce - okay, so this is only from mid-Season 3 onward, but I cannot fathom Wesley’s actions in stealing Connor, consulting with Holtz and doubting/not believing in Angel to the point where he didn’t realise that Angel would do everything in his power to protect Connor. Then his self-righteous attitude post-kidnap is appalling, the fact that he acts like the wronged party and refuses to acknowledge his own wrongdoings and never apologises for his actions all drive me crazy. Just can’t.

Luke Danes, I mean, buddy, pull it together. You say you want Lorelai, yet never make a move and then bitch about her boyfriends and act like a jerk. You say you’re “all in” and then you run at the first sign of trouble and make Lorelai feel like she did something wrong. You tell Lorelai you want her to be honest with you and then you hide your daughter from her for two freakin’ months. You say you want to spend your life with her, yet you shut her out of it. Like, wtf??

Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III, omg, why is he such an abusive asshole? Why does he treat every woman he’s with like crap? Why does he treat Mellie as if she’s insignificant and stupid? Why does he act entitled to everyone’s time and affections? Why does he continually try to give up the most powerful position in America? Why doesn’t he have any ambition? Why does he resent anyone who does??? I don’t understand.

John Winchester. Dude’s always going on about how he “did the best that he could”. Nope. The best he could would have been to raise his boys in a stable freakin’ environment, not push adult responsibility onto his eldest, not treat his youngest like an outcast/freak for wanting a better life and actually being an adult and being there for his boys. How does he justify the way he treated his sons? Don’t get it.

Finn Collins. Dude, you cheat on your girlfriend, neglect to tell the girl you’re cheating with that you even have a girlfriend, don’t tell your girlfriend you cheated on her and expect both girls to still want you? Plus the whole massacring eighteen unarmed people and then ignoring their bodies as the girl you want walks in horrified and look at her as if she’ll love you for your actions? Yikes.

Female

Lorelai Gilmore, she constantly puts her mother down for her privilege and sense of entitlement, yet displays the exact same behaviour. She rejected Chris, then bitches about how he “wasn’t ready”. She thinks all her behaviour is cute but it’s actually really annoying. And she honestly seems to believe that her parents were the absolute worst parents in the world, when it reality they were really good to her and always try to be a part of her life. Pull it together, woman!

Octavia Blake, why does she blame her brother for everything? Why is her solution always violence? Why does she proudly cannibalize people? Why does she think she knows more about a culture she’s been a part of for two seconds than the people actually raised in said culture? 

Nancy Wheeler. Why does she want Jonathan so badly? Why does she screw over Steve? What makes her neglect her brother and run off with the guy she just banged? Why doesn’t she think through the consequences of her actions? Why did she offer her brother zero comfort when his friend “died”? What made her think it was okay to chase down Jonathan while he was picking out a coffin for his brother’s funeral to talk about Barb? Girl drives me bonkers.

Joey Potter, so many of her actions make no sense. She pines after Dawson for years and then breaks up with him for literally no reason. She blames him for telling her the truth about her father, after repeatedly saying they need to be honest with one another. She can’t decide between two guys for years. She constantly rejects Pacey yet picks him in the end. She believes she’s entitled to be a bitch to people just because she’s had a tough life.

Aria Montgomery, if your creepy-ass relationship really so important to you that you would lie to your friends and family, threaten your parents, risk your partner going to jail, threaten to walk out on your family and basically cease to exist outside of your boyfriend? Yikes.

Going to put the rest under the cut, otherwise we’re going to end up with a post a mile long.

Top 5 Characters Who Are Well-writen But I Can’t Connect To or Like

Male

John Locke, a great-written character who drives me up the wall with his over-zealousness and delusions of grandeur.

Spike, he really does have a great character arc and characterisation but his over-exposure and the fandom’s adulation of him drive me crazy, plus I hate how his narrative overtakes Buffy’s.

Jack Shepherd, such a great arc, such an amazing journey but his douchey behaviour and the way he treats certain characters means I just can’t like him.

Perry Cox, I find him amusing and do occasionally like him but his lack of self-awareness and overall mean attitude and sexism bugs me.

Dean Winchester, so well-written with a great arc but also abusive, violent, self-righteous, sexist and overall annoying as hell.

Female

Regina Mills, her redemption arc is sloppy but her characterisation was always strong and she’s a fantastic villain, which is why I love to hate her.

Robin Scherbatsky, very well-written with a great arc (until the finale) but I just cannot like her, probably due to her arrogance and meanness.

Rachel Green, now, I don’t hate Rachel or anything but she’s one of my least-favourite Friends characters and I’ve never been able to connect with her.

Katniss Everdeen, a great-written character whose personality I find very hard to reconcile and who I just cannot connect with.

Kate Austin, great arc, great characterisation, full of traits I can’t stand and makes choices that make me want to throttle her.

Top 5 Characters Storylines I Would Like To Alter

Male

Neal Cassidy, he was done so dirty by that damn show!

August Booth, another one screwed over by OUAT and there was so much left to explore with his character!

Dean Forrester, I really hate how much Gilmore Girls dumbled down and assassinated his character.

Boyd Langton, Dollhouse’s weird out-of-nowhere reveal that he was the bad guy completely changed his character and he didn’t deserve that.

Jake Ballard, he deserves better than being second-choice for Olivia Pope.

Female

Laurel Lance, who deserved the fucking world and got nothing, I would change so much about her storyline and eventual fate.

Mellie Grant who, like Laurel, deserved so much and got shit.

Emma Swan, who was character assassinated in order to box her into a toxic ship which decimated everything about her.

Juliet Burke, who should have lived and had a happy life and finally made it off that damn Island!

Effy Stonem, who deserved better than to be sandwiched between two guys who treated her like a prize and blamed her for their rivalry, not to mention the shitty “friends” who used her as their scapegoat.

Top 5 Traits Of My Disliked Characters That I Like (I’m not going to pick my absolute most disliked characters for this, but just 5 characters I dislike in general. Also, probably can’t come up with five for each, so I’ll go with as many as I can list).

Male

Going with Wesley again - love his intelligence, his surprising confidence when he allows himself to show it, his thirst for knowledge and his goofiness.

Spike - I like his bravado, his confidence and his loyalty.

Dean Winchester - similarly to Spike, his bravado, his loyalty and his confidence, as well as his humour and love of fun.

Luke Danes - I like that he’s good at the big gestures, I like his snark and his homebody nature.

Jess Mariano - I like intelligence, his snark and the fact that he sorts himself out later on in life.

Female

Anya Jenkins - love her work ethic and the fact that she handles money well and knows how to budget, save and invest.

Betty Cooper - she’s got gumption, I’ll give her that and she is intelligent and hardworking.

Felicity Smoak - like Betty, she’s intelligent and has gumption.

Cassie from the Animorphs series - she’s compassionate and does try to understand people, which I like.She also has a lot of empathy.

Alison DiLaurentis - she is ruthless and strategic and highly intelligent, all of which I admire, even if her actions are truly sociopathic.

Top 5 Traits Of My Loved Characters I Dislike (again, this may not reach five but I’ll do my best)

Male

Angel - his tendency to make decisions for others, his jealousy, the way he can completely cut off those he cares about.

James Ford - the way he lets his self-hatred affect others, his self-centredness, the way he can be deliberately cruel at times.

August Booth - he lies way too much, his self-hatred, his selfishness.

Neal Cassidy ………….. nope, I love Neal too much, can’t think of any traits I dislike.

Charles Gunn - the way he diminishes himself for others.

Female

Prue Halliwell - that damn pride, her self-righteousness, her judgmental streak.

Juliet Burke ……………. nope, as with Neal, love her way too much to dislike anything about her.

Lana Lang - her Mary Sue traits (this lies more on the writing of her character than her), her tendency to project her own feelings onto others.

Lilah Morgan - well, she’s an evil bitch, but you’re supposed to hate her for that, so I more hate her actions than her herself, such as when she gives Cordy the visions which almost kill her or when she sends people to drill into Lorn’s head.

Jo March - her lack of propriety at times, her judgemental streak, her refusal to adhere to convention (at times)

Top 5 Ways My Disliked Characters Contributed To The Main Storyline That I’m Fine With (I am running out of steam and not sure if I can come up with 5 males and 5 females, so gonna combine them for this last one and again might not make it to Top 5)

Alison DiLaurentis - I like her as a villain, her murder kicks off the whole series which worked well, and I liked that she works as a foil for all the girls, in particular Hanna and Mona.

Spike - love him as a villain in Season 2, love that he works as a foil for Angel in AtS Season 5, liked him stirring things up in Lovers Walk in Season 3.

Regina Mills - love her as a villain, love her as the Curse Caster, liked her dynamic with Emma, liked her as a foil for Snow and Emma.

……. I actually might be out, as usually when I hate a character it’s because of the way in which they negatively impact the storyline.

Whew, I’m knackered. Hope you enjoy my answers, even if they’re not 100% what you asked for!