#your desire isn't enough

[lhazaar]

another james somerton post: i wish i didn't understand the desire to return to a career that you have invested so much of your persona in. i do understand it; i don't think he deserves it, but that's besides the point of this specific post, which is that it's so fucking stupid to do that with youtube BECAUSE of your disability. like Are You For Real. if you're going to hinge your argument on "i'm too disabled to do any other career", first of all, rude, second, that's Not true and you're picking a terrible option as someone with a tbi and a neurological disorder that makes emotional regulation hard. your career is reputation-based and sometimes you fuck that up! and you don't get to come back! why do you think that continuing to expose yourself to what is essentially an occupational hazard when you KNOW that it's already proven capable of making you suicidal. get out of the boat and start floating instead of trying to bail out the water, jameothies

[sciderman]

Mcu is like if porn had no sex (except for that one scene in the eternals. Regret wasting my time with that one) and got less and less satisfying with each installment. And then it just shifts into kicking you in the dick and laughing when you wince in pain

me @ the eternals

[marc--chilton]

(mgv) OAUUGHHH lawrence and adam rooming together out of the hospital because it's made VERY CLEAR that they need each other close and safe after the trap. like @lucradiss said, they had to be moved into the same room because even after the smell of blood and shit and fear were cleaned off of them, their distress scent -- raw and unfiltered "NEED, COME BACK, DON'T LEAVE, WHERE ARE YOU, NEED YOU" -- was palpable enough to send their respective floors into a state of unease. and adam's being evicted, and tensions are high between lawrence and alison right now, so....

their new place doesn't scream "doctor's salary" but it's not a shithole either. one floor, too. at first they're in separate rooms but..... lawrence hasn't slept alone in years, and not having adam as close as possible still gives him some unease (if he can't see him how can he be sure he ever came back for him, got him out of there, let him live). he doesn't even get a chance to wheel by adam's room before the man himself is slipping into his. "keep seein' shit in the shadows. think i gotta take the door off my closet."

lawrence grants him half his bed easily. he also learns fairly quickly that adam is a funny sleeper. he burrows and squirms relentlessly in his sleep until he's nearly sideways with his head on lawrence's ribs. one time he woke up to adam sprawled bonelessly across his middle, slightly crushing him but mostly just endearing himself to lawrence.

the point of no return for Feeling Something More for adam was when diana stayed for the weekend. they hit it off well in the hospital already, so he wasn't worried about that. no, it was simply how much adam worried about making her feel safe there, because it might be her dad's place, but her dad has a roommate now and they didn't meet under fantastic circumstances. he doesn't want her to see him like zep, like some stranger in a home that isn't his.

(it is his home, though.)

he's trying so hard for this eight year old who's been through some shit, he wants her to like him, to be okay with him being there, and it chokes lawrence up if he thinks about it too hard. it feels a lot like a binding point between his old life and his new one. he loves them. he loves him.

diana learns what a 'pup pile' is that night. she has no siblings to pile up with, so she never got to learn, which just Isn't Right in adam's eyes. so that night adam stuffs them into their bed with the pillows and blankets from his old room they'll convert to be diana's, says, "three's not much a pile, but we'll work with what we got, right?" and hustles them into something comfortable, twined and piled on each other.

and if lawrence cries a few happy tears that night, well, he's allowed some by now, isn't he?

[willowser]

Following up on uncle Kiri, what's your take on kiri and others becoming parents before bk, and his attitude towards all that? I imagine it's super conflicting being """"left behind"""" but also the questions around self worth and if he's "__ enough' to become a parent?

(obligatory disclaimer that these are all my personal opinions/feelings as someone that wants willow sprouts, and if that doesn't align with someone else's desires/beliefs — that's okay !!! we all write for the ones we love in different ways, and it doesn't make any opinion less valid or worthy of respect ✨️)

OOOOH HMM !! you know, i will write about dad bakugou all day, every day bc that's what i like to read and write but !! i do think he would have a hard time deciding if that's what he wanted ?? i don't think he thinks about it for a while, and then i think he tells himself he shouldn't have them, for a few reasons. mainly bc of his career and all that it entails, and also — bc he must wonder if he would be a good parent !!! he'll tell himself this for a bit, and he'll brush the topic off if it's ever brought up because he "doesn't think it's a good idea for him" but it's never explicitly bc he doesn't want them, if that makes sense ?? tbh i think it would take a very supportive partner for him to openly tell himself that's what he wants. like, someone loving and trusting him enough to be a father would help ease some of his worries, i think.

BUT ANYWAY. regarding kirishima, i actually had this perfect vision of them at a bbq, of course, except kiri's got his FOUR KIDS running around LOL and one of them coming up to bakugou and he's just looking at it like 🤨🤨🤨 akfbdjsja and aww, wouldn't it be cute if, once bakugou is expecting a child, kirishima lets him come over and learn how to change diapers ?? 🥺 let him practice burping and how to swaddle them up when they're so squirmy 🥺🥺🥺 CUTE !!

i think — his feelings in the situation of being around his friends that have children would really depend on whether he has a partner or not he feels comfortable with, tbh. like if it’s just him, i feel like he's non-stop looking at all these kids and his peers and telling himself, "yup, just not in the cards for me", almost like he's trying to convince himself he's fine with being without, though i definitely think he would, deep down, feel like ".......but why not me ?? 🥺" WAAAHHHH but !! on the fun, flip side, if he was with someone, i think he would honestly try to be more observant of how kids are ?? if that makes sense ?? LOL like he's watching them run around and trying to gauge what yaomomo says to her brats to get them to eat their vegetables PFFT. just storing it away for later.

tbh, it's hard for me to imagine not having this conversation with him BUT in the event that yall haven't discussed children yet, i don't think he's going to be the one to push it. like he's not coming back from the bbq asking when it's yall's turn, and i say that bc he's on the fence about it for so long. so i think he takes you not bringing it up as like......okay maybe it really isn't a good idea 🥺 but if years go by and nothing is said, then i think he might bite the bullet and force himself to ask LOL WAAHHH HE'S SO COMPLICATED

[thevioletscout]

Never seen a soul stretched that thin. I'm not even sure it was a real soul to begin with.

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So after a few weeks of going back and forth on it, I finally settled on what Fae even is in the world of Fallen London. She is a clay woman, specifically an unfinished one. This was for a couple reasons, one was because that just felt like the best thing to map her onto with my current knowledge, but two was because knowing some stuff that's coming in her ambition, it felt like I could explore a lot by having the character I use there be a clay woman.

I know she doesn't exactly match a lot of the pre-existing examples of clay men, but unfortunately even though we know clay women exist we haven't actually seen what they look like! So I'm gonna have fun!

Anyway, around that time, I found a really cool photo on pinterest that I felt was too perfect to not redraw with this in mind.

But of course, this all begs the question; if Fae is unfinished, what's missing? What is it that leaves her incomplete? Well, what's a better heart's desire than a heart to desire with?

Og photo under the cut

[dingoskidneys]

How much of the self is present in the ancestor?

[thirdtimed]

thinking about the jimmy scar pearl venn diagram and absolutely just disintegrating over it

[spherekuriboh]

the difference between the triumph in 'i found you!' and the shame in 'you've found me.' is proof enough!!!

[sigilmint]

WAIT wait wait wait wait okay so i had the vera timeline all off--it wasn't euhorn kaldwin who proposed to her but instead it was an emperor like 2.5 emperors behind him?? and he proposed to her when she was 15????? wtf wtf wtf

she gets married to moray at 20 years old, and then apparently doesn't go on the expedition to pandyssia until she's over 40??

the vibes are ALL wrong for this, i'm revising this lmao

[musical-chick-13]

Okay for REAL, yell at me and chase me off this site if I'm on here again before the US presidential election to do literally ANYTHING other than post fic.

[pickleslice]

i dont know how to make webweaving posts but kind of just imagine one in your mind. of shatterstar tying the sword to his hand and anthy stabbing utena and the reaching for her from her coffin and the panel of shatterstar and ben russell face to face

[fellhellion]

This part of the editorial from 2099 (pic sourced from this post) is so interesting to me because i don’t even think the idea of Miguel having these kinds of flaws is uninteresting or impossible, but I just personally would never have come to this conclusion just based on the text.

Like, when I personally look at how Miguel and Dana interact, I don’t see any indication that he emotionally condescends to having a relationship with her, when you’d think this strain of elitism should shine through in some part of their relationship at least initially in his arc.

I don’t look at Xina and Miguel’s interactions and interpret any sense him feeling threatened by her intelligence (even if we're just talking purely pre-spidermanning), when you’d think an element of that would be present, even in a flashback. He was a callous dickhead about the cheating explanation, but that alone without some corresponding behaviour to how he speaks to/treats Dana, even just as a flashback, just doesn’t offer the bridging piece to displaying what the authorial intent apparently was, at least for me.

Also, and by god we always come back to Dana’s writing being so damn lazy, but if Miguel - even if only at first - sought Dana out due to the emotional convenience she provided, what has prompted enough change that he is willing to bear and forgive actions like her seeking out the company of the man who drugged him when she wants to needle Miguel.

ALSO. PETER DAVID I AM SPEAKING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EAR RN. ITS VERY SILLY TO ME TO POINT OUT THE MISOGYNISTIC STREAK INTENDED IN MIGUEL’S ACTIONS HERE BUT THEN LITERALLY JUST NOT BOTHER TO MAKE THE WOMAN THIS IS ABOUT MAKE LIKE. SENSE WHEN YOU WROTE HER. OFFER NO EXPLORATION INTO WHAT HER ACTIONS SPEAK TO IN HER PERSON AND DELVE INTO WHAT CONTRADICTORY ACTS MIGHT TELL US ABOUT HER.

[mildswearingat4am]

I’m cleaning out my closet and got completely sidetracked by a stack of my old journals. Because like --

I like journals.

As a kid, I liked having something on hand I could pull out in school to doodle and goof off without looking like it. What are they gonna do, get mad I’m writing in a notebook?

Now, I like the idea of having an older version of me preserved in pages so I can see how much I’ve changed and how much has stayed the same. How excited I got over my first experience with something that’s now routine. Wincing at how totally oblivious I was during a Clearly Very Bad mental health situation. Past hopes, past dreams, past music tastes, you know? Sometimes I put a nice leaf in the pages from past autumn.

At the same time, just because I want the record to exist doesn’t mean I want it to be here. In my closet. Taking up space and gathering dust. When something happens my first instinct isn’t to hunt around for a pen and paper, because that feels like a chore. Why do I have to record myself for future dissection? Can’t I just have experiences and accept the me I am now is fleeting?

But I also know how easy it is to rewrite a past you have no record of. Saying oh, it’s always been this way, when in fact you’re getting Bad again. I don’t want kid me to disappear, just like I don’t want to disappear someday when older me can only vaguely recall the mundane stress the 2020s.

But do I want to undertake the arduous ordeal of preserving me? Now? Today? Carrying the past to every new apartment and house and turning it into a personal history museum?

So basically my closet’s still gross and now I’m having an existential crisis

[willowser]

gaining all those new followers from plagiarizing poc and running them off tumblr you're a terrible person and i hope you rot

so this is another really heavy accusation that i take very seriously.

who is it that i've run off, exactly ?? if you are said person or know them personally, i would love to have the ability to speak to you/them one-on-one, like grown adults, so that we can clear the air or discuss whatever issue there seems to be.

i doubt that you'll respond legitimately but this has always been my stance on your issue with me, that has kept you coming back to, not only my main account but also my nsfw account, daily. sometimes multiple times a day. you've also never once given me any kind of definition on what it is exactly that i've "plagiarized" — which, again, leads me me to believe you're just choosing to be hateful for no reason ?? the ONLY reference that's been made in the last few weeks that this has been going on, is the love island bakugou concept, and if that's what you're still sticking by, then — again — i urge you to understand what plagiarism actually is.

[autism-corner]

erm

[random-thot-generator]

Ghost decides after one blind date that you're going to be his.

>>>>>

Simon isn't used to dating. A quick hook up in the loo, sure. A drunken one night stand? He's had too many of those to count. But proper courting? Hell, it's been years, maybe a decade, since he's taken a bird out on an actual date.

It's probably going to be a disaster, but he gave Johnny his word he'd go out with his bird's best friend, so he can't back out now. He'll just have to grit his teeth and power through it.

His sour outlook for the evening is forgotten the second he sees you walk in with Johnny's bird. You're no tipsy tart on the pull, like the birds he's used to dealing with. You're a proper lady, dolled up nice for your date with him. It makes his chest feel tight when he gets a good look at your pretty face and nervous little smile.

His usual gruff manner is obviously not going to fly with you, so he quickly tries to recall the mannerisms he's seen his captain use around women. He gets to his feet with Johnny when the two of you reach the table, trying his best to look less intimidating.

Johnny introduces the two of you, and Simon melts inside when he takes your soft little hand in his for the first time. His brain goes fuzzy, dark eyes glazing over, and he's not sure what he says when he greets you, but it earns him a smile.

"It's really nice to meet you, Simon," are the first words you say to him.

Your voice is soft and sweet, and the way you say his name? Oh, he's gonna need to hear more of that, and often.

For the first time in a long time, Simon's worried about what someone thinks of him. He's worried he'll put you off with his harsh manner. So, he minds his words and gentles his tone. He slows his steps to match your pace and tucks your small hand at his elbow to keep you close and safe. He's holding doors and pulling out your chair. He compliments your dress and hair.

And when your heel catches on the sidewalk and you stumble, he doesn't bark a laugh or say something mean, wouldn't bloody dream of it. No, he catches you before you fall, and all that softness in his hands makes something shift in his brain. You're such a fragile little thing, delicate as spun sugar. You need a big nasty mutt like him to protect you, take care of you, and he's more than willing to do the job.

When the date is over, Simon sees you home, and you kiss him on your front stoop. It's not all groping hands and tangling tongues. It's a gentle press of lips, his big hands cradling your face, the sweet intimacy making his eyes flutter shut. He's floating when he finally gets back in his truck and drives himself home.

Instead of going to bed, Simon begins to formulate a plan of strategy. He figures it'll take a few more dates before you invite him into your flat, and several more after that before you invite him into your bed, then eventually into your life. It might take months, even a year or more. That's alright, though. If his years in the military have taught him anything, it's patience.

Simon knows how to play the long game. He'll go at your pace, let you get used to having him around, then make himself indispensable to you. No one will treat you as good, meet your every need and desire the way he will. He won't stop until he is your world, your reason for being. Your everything.

And when enough time has passed, he'll claim you completely as his. He's going to put a ring on your finger and a baby in your belly, then tuck you away safe and sound in one of those cute country cottages he looked up online. You'll be his little missus, and he'll be your tamed beast, keeping his teeth and claws hidden but at the ready.

By the time he arrives at your flat the next evening for your second date, he's already got your engagement ring in his safe at home and the names of your future children picked out.

And when you text him the day after to invite him for dinner, the new name he replaced yours with pops up on his screen.

It says 'Missus Riley', of course.

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