#you'd think that with me being a musician

[loverboybrightsideghost]

god i love being a musician

[astonmartinii]

you gotta look out for the quiet ones | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: oscar piastri x fem musician!reader

a surprise appearance from y/n in the formula one paddock raises some questions, but the rumour mill will never guess who she's there to see...

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

note: olivia rodrigo is the face claim but i'll be pulling from her music as well as taylor swift!

f1

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tagged: yourusername

f1: there's paddock guests and there's paddock guests, y/n y/ln is here for the bahrain grand prix!

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user1: MOTHER WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

user2: this is not what i expected to see this friday morning

user3: okay i've only ever heard of y/n y/ln through others but like she must be dedicated to be there for friday as well

user4: certified y/n superfan here! y/n has always said she's a massive fan of f1 - she hasn't been asked about it recently but when she was last asked about it she said she grew up loving jenson button!

jensonbutton: @yourusername i see you have amazing taste

yourusername: how could i not love the playboy of f1?

user3: okay she knows what she's talking about, i guess it's time to have a little listen to her music

user5: okay so what garage is she going to be in?

user6: ferrari 🤞🏻

user7: did we not just see this ^^^ she's clearly going to be in the mclaren garage

user8: if she has any sense she'll be in the mercedes garage with sir lewis hamilton

user9: what about the literal world champions?

user10: shut the fuck up (i would like to see max blush and stutter tho)

user11: i love how y/n said she's taking a year off of music after her tour and we're immediately seeing her here, there and everywhere

user12: living her true sports nerd life and i love that for her

landonorris: i promise that mclaren have the best hospitality xx

user13: oh brother are we about to see some lando norris snapchat u up flirting?

alexalbon: this is tragic

georgerussell63: make sure you don't tell her about the massive poster you had of her that you practiced kissing on!

georgerussell63: whoops!

landonorris: i am in your walls george

user14: well.. that was something, i don't think we'll see her in the mclaren garage anytime soon now

logansargeant: @oscarpiastri i hope you brought your vinyl to be signed

oscarpiastri: i didn't want to risk it on the plane, it's limited edition 😔

user15: wait so oscar is also a y/n fan ???

user16: not this mclaren battle for y/n's attention

user17: lets be real, there's no competition here - there's no way she wouldn't choose lando

user18: i'm tired of you people sleeping on oscar (pun intended)

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 21,309,784 others

yourusername: i had so much fun the first time round, i thought i'd come by again

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user25: okayyyy i thought the girlies on twitter were delusional but the second race in a row ... i fear there's another incentive

user26: once again, she's been a massive fan of the sport and has a ton of disposable money why wouldn't she go to a load of races?

landonorris: can't wait to see you again this weekend, i'll get you that win i promised

alexalbon: nurse he's talking to himself again

georgerussell63: this is crazy thirsting to do in front of 21 million people

landonorris: i assure you i'll be the one with the last laugh here

maxverstappen1: sure you will buddy, it's good to see you so confident

user27: are they gentle parenting lando?

user28: bro is about to get his heart broken they're actually being good friends

user29: idk i think he's still the one in the paddock with the best shot

user30: i gotta get this delusion all lando fans seem to have

carlossainz55: i think you'd look great in red ❤️

charles_leclerc: oh gosh....

carlossainz55: they don't call me the smooth operator for no reason, just sit back and watch the magic

maxverstappen1: you fucking morons do realise you're proclaiming this in a PUBLIC instagram comment section that everyone INCLUDING y/n can see?

user31: this is a mess ... keep going!

oscarpiastri: i celebrated my win here in 2021 with the release of sour - i know you're on a sabbatical but any chance of a surprise single?

user32: yall getting on lando and carlos for their bad flirting when oscar is stinking up the gaff with his attempts

yourusername: i'm so sorry to tell you this but no surprise single, but i can show you some demos?

oscarpiastri: please, please, please! good 4 u is my scream in the car song

user33: i just know oscar was streaming traitor when his DRS failed for the ten billionth time

oscarpiastri: it went platinum in my car yes

yourusername: i imagine it's even better at 200mph

oscarpiastri: i'd be happy to show you anytime

yourusername: carpool karaoke x hot laps when?

oscarpiastri: name a time and i'm there

user34: why is oscar trying so hard bro she's not going to choose you

user35: and yet he's the only one she replied to ... makes you think

user36: you guys are miserable because i'd literally do anything to see them singing in a car together

oscarpiastri

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 832,988 others

oscarpiastri: jeddah you were okay i guess

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user37: holy soft launch

user38: and right after flirting up a storm with Y/N Y/LN

user39: first of all, oscar is a fan of y/n so it could've definitely been from a platonic point of view

user40: it has to be platonic cause bro had no chance to start with and has a gf ???

landonorris: i'm sorry what is this ?

oscarpiastri: an instagram post, would hope you would know what that is if you're already on the app

landonorris: don't get smart with me mister

oscarpiastri: you got smart first 🤨

landonorris: what happened to my sweet rookie?

oscarpiastri: he's still 23 years old ?

landonorris: i need to meet this mystery woman who has seemed to give you all this sass

user41: prema girlies know that this sass has always been here

user42: but i'm glad it's coming out in f1

yourusername: okay i guess? you slayed mr piastri and i won't hear anything less than that

oscarpiastri: okay it was a bit of a slay

yourusername: a bit?

oscarpiastri: a big slay then

yourusername: stop talking down on yourself otherwise you'll have me to deal with

oscarpiastri: that is not the threat you think it is

yourusername: it's not a threat it's a promise x

user43: excuse me what the fuck was that ^

user44: i can't tell if they're flirting or if y/n just feels sorry for him?

user45: they did get coffee like once this weekend so maybe they're just friends

user46: they have to be because there's no way that is y/n in this soft launch

user47: there's no way oscar piastri could woo the y/n y/ln idk why people are even suggesting it

user48: and i think even flirting with her is a bit weird considering his teammate has made it so obvious he likes her

user49: oscar doesn't seem to be the type to step on toes but we'll see

logansargeant: if that's who i think it is i am going to fight you for not telling me straight up

oscarpiastri: i'll meet you in the parking lot i guess

logansargeant: be there or be square

user50: what does logan know that we don't ???

f1tea

liked by user52, user53 and 11,209 others

f1tea: now she's attended THREE races in a row, i think it's okay to start the conversation about her being with one of the drivers... so here's our theories!

lando: he's been on this train the longest and has the old thirst tweets to back it up. he's been spotted talking to her numerous times at races and has been camping in her comment section since bahrain

carlos: he has also been in her comments since bahrain and has been seen with her in the paddock - less than lando but y/n has worn red a couple times in the paddock so??

lewis: y/n was blushing up a storm when they were spotted together and i honestly think if the age gap wasn't so big they would be so cute together

liam: an outside shout but this guy was stuck to her side the whole time she was at red bull

charles: they have spoken a lot in the paddock, i don't think it's him but omg imagine them together

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user54: not this oscar erasure - i.e. the only driver she's actually interacted with online

user55: if it's oscar i will literally streak across the track at the next race

user56: admin snuck liam in there like we wouldn't notice

user57: idk why they think that liam is a better shout than oscar

user58: i think all the fangirling from oscar defo put him straight into the friend zone

user59: idk about you guys but i've actually listened to y/n's music and her album after her last breakup suggests that she might like someone who appreciates her craft and publicly supports her

user60: yeah but she also deserves a boyfriend that's on her level

user61: oscar is a literal f1 driver?

user60: yeah but he's not cute enough

user62: to YOU

user63: omg just say you have no taste and bounce gosh

user64: how did lando become a frontrunner in this?

user65: i think because he's liked her the longest? and has been the most insistent

user66: i hate to say this but just because you like someone and said it first, does not mean you are entitled to actually date them

user67: i will laugh my ass off if she's not with any of these fools

user68: bro took a year off of music to have some fun and now is linked to everyone and their mum

user69: unfortunately this is the way it goes although if she does become a wag (tho be real, whoever is with her is the wag) i shall be enjoying her paddock outfits

user70: carlos vs oscar i think i've seen this film before

user71: oh trust me off track there is no competition

user72: you people are so mean

user73: oscar will win again, mark my words. i'm not sure if carlos can cry to the fia about that tho

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 23,874,093 others

yourusername: getting the real aussie experience down under

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user74: AHHHHHHHHHH A MAN

user75: who the fuck wears jeans on a hammock she needs to run away from this man he's clearly a psychopath

maxverstappen1: you went to see quokkas without me??? does our friendship mean nothing ???

yourusername: it's not considered normal to invite friends to a date

maxverstappen1: boring. i will remember this when you try and get some red bull from our hospitality

yourusername: nO PLEASE

maxverstappen1: no, for this you must suffer through the piss they put in monster cans

this comment was deleted

maxverstappen1: well you should've thought more of our friendship :P

yourusername: you are impossible. no more limited edition merch for you

maxverstappen1: WHAT

user76: for all this love life speculation i am loving this max and y/n friendship

user77: but... the monster comment... it has to be lando right? monster sponsor mclaren

user78: i think this is the most confirmation we're getting right now

user79: they're so cute

oscarpiastri: i am glad the homeland is treating you well :)

yourusername: i've only had one scary insect encounter so win!

oscarpiastri: we'll have to get you some real australian delicacies this weekend

yourusername: i've heard of grandma's baking so i'm excited!

oscarpiastri: we've got a tupperware box with your name on it

yourusername: ugh i love you guys

user80: the monster comment pointed to mclaren but there's only one of them in the comments...

user81: i mean this is a soft launch so it would make sense that lando wouldn't comment if they're trying to throw people off of their scent

user82: the mental gymnastics you people are doing is insane

user83: literally just admit that your driver just doesn't have the sauce like that

user84: and oscar piastri does???

user85: STOP SLEEPING ON HIM HE'S LITERALLY GETTING HER HOME-BAKED GOODS

oscarpiastri

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 2,349,761 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: home win means more than you could ever know. and you can stop theorising now, i may be a nerd but i've still got game.

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user89: HHAHHHAHHAHAHAHHA THAT'S MY AUSSIE

user90: stunting his stunning gf on all these delusional fangirls

yourusername: now i can finally say it: I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU

yourusername: and i'm proud of you

yourusername: forever and always

oscarpiastri: maybe i was so fast because i knew there was a literal angel waiting for me back in my garage

yourusername: oh so the other races i came to i just didn't look good enough for you to win :(

oscarpiastri: NO NO NO you're always the most beautiful woman in any room

oscarpiastri: but this time you're wearing my jersey and my name

yourusername: i guess i'll never take it off again

oscarpiastri: you might not take it off, but that doesn't mean i won't

yourusername: ehhhehehhehheeh hurry up in debrief :P

user91: oscar piastri i am so sorry i was not familiar with your game

user92: i for one had complete faith in that bumbling fool

yourusername: as you should, he may have stuttered through the lines, but he's one smooth operator

carlossainz55: that's my nickname? please stop rubbing salt in the wound

yourusername: it was better than your attempts. and better than whatever the fuck you've been doing on the track - keep your dumptruck away from oscar

user93: y/n defending oscar, consider me moved

user94: okay fave celeb couple just dropped

landonorris: HOW LONG HAS THIS BEING GOING ON? HOW LONG HAVE YOU LET ME FLIRT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND? HOW DID I LOSE TO YOU?

yourusername: watch your tone.

landonorris: sorry???

oscarpiastri: we've been together nearly a year. i didn't 'let' you flirt with my girlfriend i tried to tell you but you ignored me at every turn. you didn't lose to me, there was never any competition.

yourusername: best year of my life 🫶 and lando i tried to tell you, maybe listen to oscar for once 😭

oscarpiastri: awwwwww i love you 😘

yourusername: i love you too osc xx

user95: not them dancing on lando's dead body 😭

logansargeant: I FUCKING KNEW IT YOU SON OF A BITCH

oscarpiastri: never doubt me again eagle boy

yourusername

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tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: if you saw me ugly crying on live tv - no you didn't. i'm so proud of you osc, my beautiful boy.

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user96: i think y/n was all of us

user97: absolutely screaming at all of the y/n fans on twitter having a meltdown and trying to figure out how f1 works

user98: this was me, am i really going to learn about tyre compounds because y/n is dating a driver? yes!

maxverstappen1: i am very happy for you both but enjoy the win while it lasts oscar i have a score to settle after being ABANDONED on the quokka date

yourusername: once again it was a DATE which is for the two people in the relationship, not the weird third guy with attachment issues

maxverstappen1: well jokes on you i do have attachment issues and now i've latched onto you and oscar which means you're contractually obligated to come to every race now

yourusername: ok?

oscarpiastri: it's okay max with our combined powers, y/n will have to stick around she hates making us sad

yourusername: it's true :(

user99: not lando fumbling yet another lead

yourusername: he never had a chance to begin with

oscarpiastri: 😆

user100: this is another level of teammate psychological warfare

landonorris: i am a victim of a smear campaign

oscarpiastri: smear campaign being you flirting with my girlfriend after she told you she had a boyfriend

landonorris: I DIDN'T HEAR HER

yourusername: i said it multiple times 🤨 and SOFT LAUNCHED OSCAR AND YOU STILL TRIED

georgerussell63: looks like it's back to the poster now lando

yourusername: and for the record ^^ this is very creepy

landonorris: THAT WAS LIKE TEN YEARS AGO

alexalbon: that's what you want us to think ...

user101: i am screaming at them rubbing it in lando's face

user102: kind of deserved LOL but funny nonetheless

oscarpiastri: all things aside, i'm so glad you could be there for my first win! i love you so much and can't wait to spend there rest of my life with you, even if it means my teammate flirts with you everyday

yourusername: i love you too osc, i'm sure you'll win so many more

oscarpiastri: i'm counting on it ;)

landonorris: I AM SORRY HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT

yourusername: you gonna let oscar have the upgrades first?

landonorris: no?

yourusername: then i will guilt you at every corner 🤨

fin. i know, i know. guilty as sin is coming but i just wanted to get this out. i had to come home from silverstone early cause of a mechanical dnf (foot stopped working and had heat stroke and a cold at the same time). but i had a great time while i was there and met a load of drivers with lando and alex signing my hat !!!!!

[patricia-taxxon]

cw: venting about some drama that happened on twitter that many of you were likely not present for, and my very personal solipsistic emotional reaction to it that many of you will find annoying.

So every once in a while, people (normies) rediscover this furry musician called Pent Up Pup, who is a fan of me i think, so I need to be nice. To describe them with complete neutrality, they make music that is completely filled with memes and signifiers of furry kink erotica to the point of parody, and they invite a huge amount of derision like you'd expect. This particular drama storm was triggered by their new song, and it aroused a lot of negative emotions in me, which i'll go through from least to most self-centered.

So firstly, through being so audacious, Pent Up Pup has managed to become the default furry musician through which all discourse flows, normies treat them like the final boss. Everyone needed to have a take, but even more people saw this as an opportunity to bring them down in favor of someone else. Some poor furry rapper called $LEAZY EZ got caught in the crossfire, and her snippet that she uploaded got met with "see? finally some GOOD furry music, this is way better than the one other furry musician I know." And like, yea I'd absolutely produce and mix an entire mixtape for her at no charge, but she had a right to be upset that her big viral break was in service of a bunch of leeches one-upping another creator in the space she was trying to integrate with.

But worse, the main response to her snippet was just... "Oh, finally, furry music that isn't white boy EDM." And like, Pent Up Pup isn't white and imo is way more aligned with alt-rock/britpop, they're just imagining a minority that agrees with them. But also, the more self centered part of me just wants to ask "what about me?" Like imo I'm one of the best in the world at the specific thing I do, and it's not white boy EDM.

And furthermore, in response, every furry musician on twitter has been eager to defend their friend and say that trash talking Pup and uplifting someone else doesn't work when everyone in the scene knows each other. "Don't you know? We're a tight knit community!" And to this I feel a combination of petulant annoyance and RSD, because I have been trying to be a part of that scene and failing for a long time now. Like, I tried integrating into the community when I was first gearing my music in that direction & tried sending my music to the failed beta version of Aural Aliance, and Rinny turned down my track (it was the then unreleased beast / creature) because it had autotune in it. They apologized later (thankfully) and offered me a spot, but like, half of their lineup and also the people organizing the events have me blocked over callout stuff, so I just ghosted them. I've mostly been watching this huge unfair drama storm unfold, making me feel talked over, but then I also have to watch this community that ostracized me band together and show their unyielding comradery while everyone just sidesteps past me in the conversation. I warned you that this would be self centered.

[harunovella]

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ every thought I'm thinking of is you; t.f.

synopsis: you never knew your parents had this much worry when it came to your college life, hiring a bodyguard for you, you just never expected to fall in love this quickly… let alone, let him be your first... content: fem!reader, bodyguard!toji, age gap, older man/younger woman, one sided love, slight obsession, reader is a little bit dramatic but she wants what she wants and what she wants is toji, love confessions, guilt, loss of virginity, pwp, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, aftercare (he is the king of after care ok), toji is a boob man, ambiguous/open ending, not beta read! note: okay but the concept of bodyguard!toji came to me a as a dream way before I wrote my leon fic where he basically becomes reader's guard... anyway, pls enjoy! I love dramatic endings, oops- title inspo (pls listen!)

Being a professional bodyguard meant being hired to protect those important, those who were wealthy. The array of politicians, actors, musicians—you name it—that hired him made his resume endless. However, this was a first. You were a first. Hired by a pair of rich folks to watch over their daughter who enjoyed her college years a little... too much. 

Being careless was quite the understatement. Sure, you were doing fine academically, excelling in your classes to get one step closer to your degree... but that didn't stop you from having a full college life. Even if you weren't in a dorm. What, with the success of your parents, you lived in a neighborhood near one of the country's most finest universities. There was no need to live on campus, you could stay home. 

Which is why you were always out at the wee hours of the night, not returning home until the sun rose. That was dramatic, but that was how your parents felt. You stayed up late, partied, got home at an ungodly hour and yet managed to be booked and busy the following day. No one knew how you did it, you just said it was you enjoying your youth. You thanked the universe for being blessed with beauty and brains, you weren't sure how you'd survive the life you were living. 

You just never expected your habits to be this concerning that you had to have someone watch over you like the others watched over your home and parents. You were used to bodyguards... but never one who almost always showed up everywhere you went. 

Toji felt like a glorified babysitter, and if it wasn't for how much your parents paid him, he would've never taken the job. He took his role seriously, he was a bodyguard and that's exactly what he did, especially when his salary was high, he had no questions. Just to protect. Even if the job was anything but easy. 

He had been through a lot in his career, the many death threats, nearly taking god knows how many bullets... the scars he's earned. Yet, nothing seemed harder than watching a young woman who wanted to live her life freely and carelessly. Especially a young woman who was nothing but a flirt and a tease. Wanting nothing more than to have his attention rather than ignore his existence. 

You, of course, never expected your personal body guard to be the sexiest man alive. Through and through. From head to toe. The dark, fringed hair. Those piercing green eyes that looked as if god got the exact colors of spring grass and replicated them in his irises. The build of his body, bigger than any man you had ever seen... so burly and strong. Arms so thick, muscles so wide. He was so broad, it made you salivate. You never liked men that were overly large. However, Toji? He was on another level. You wanted him. You needed him. No man ever made your mouth water or your body tingle the way this man did. All he did was watch after you, drag you home, and literally put you in your place. With the most indifferent expressions ever, almost never showing emotion even if there was a hint of annoyance in his tone when he scolded you. 

Yet, you looked up at him with hearts in your eyes, his words entering one ear and exiting the other as you gazed up at him. Your focus would settle on the scar that decorated his lips, you licking your own as you itched to kiss him. He had no clue the power he had on you. You were love drunk, completely smitten, he was the man of your dreams. As pathetic as it sounded, you wanted to even marry him. He could yell at you all he wanted, saying how you worry your parents and that he isn't your babysitter, but you'd still gaze up at him with the most loving eyes. 

Toji didn't know what he was going to do with you. 

It's probably what got him in this situation in the first place. 

He had stepped out to get some fresh air, processing the events that unraveled before him moments prior. Gathering his thoughts, trying to understand his feelings... trying to manage through all that had been going on that lead to this. He wasn't gone for long, just took a walk around the neighborhood to ease himself... he didn't expect to come back to your home with you completely missing. 

He called your name several times, searching every inch of the house once he found your window open in hopes it was all a ploy. You were an actress, quite the attention seeker when it came to him. You lived to make his heart race and play with his head. You enjoyed the cat and mouse chase, but something told him this wasn't that. This wasn't a joke. This was serious. And he hated it. 

"Cmon, answer me..." he grumbled, calling your cell phone, only to hear ringing coming from your bed. Shoving some of your pillows and plushies around, he growled. You left your phone behind. Did you actually leave out the window? It wasn't the first time... but you never left your phone behind. 

Rubbing his forehead, pinching the bridge of his nose and huffing, Toji recalled the events that lead to this very moment. 

Your parents had been out of town for the weekend and you invited some of your friends over, sneakily stealing from their stash of liquor that wasn't so hidden. It was meant for gatherings or when either of them needed to lay back and relax. Your mother's best wine stacked up, your father's favorite whiskeys shelved. You couldn't recall how much you had consumed when Toji found you, kicking your friends out before handling you. 

You were a bit of a klutz while tipsy, a clingy mess who couldn't seem to let go of Toji. Like a leach, latching onto him and giggling. Hiccuping as you slurred your words. You were quite the lightweight—or at least drank a little too much. Toji had dealt with a drunken you before, always handling you to make sure you didn't go home like this. He was your savior, quite the massive angel when he sobered you up enough to avoid your parent's disappointment and wrath. Another reason why you fell so hard for him. 

Personal space wasn't a thing for you, you were all over him, hugging his arm, squeezing his bicep. Batting your lashes up to him, pressing your breasts against his side while dressed in that cute outfit that you'd sleep in. You had hoped to have your friends sleep over, but that didn't work out when Toji dismissed them. They were all used to him and never questioned him. Slightly annoyed, but they'd never cross a man like him. He was big and terrifying (and they knew you were head over heels for him).

It took everything in his power to keep things civil, asking you how much you had, trying to keep you from doing something you'd regret. However, that didn't stop you from pushing. You were persistent. You wanted what you wanted, and when you zeroed in on something, you'd stop at nothing. 

Settling you down and giving you water, making sure you chugged it all as he went through his usual routine to get you sober, you just sat there, happily. Gazing up at him and beaming with the brightest smile, you thanked him for caring for you. Going as far as calling him a true gentleman. He knew what you were doing, it was nothing new. Sighing and running his hand through his hair, he took your hand and pulled you up to your feet, leading you to your bedroom to get some rest. 

"Get some sleep, you need it," he said but you only whined. 

"I'm not tired," you frowned, shaking your head stubbornly and crossing your arms like a child. 

"You need to," he said sternly. 

"Nuh uh! Not unless you join me," you grinned but Toji shook his head. 

"No," he said your name in an almost warning tone. 

"Why not?" You pouted once again. "Why are you so dismissive of my advancements, huh?"

"Because I'm a gentleman," he said, using your own words against you. This making your pout deepen as you huffed. 

"I want you, Toji," you confessed, still frowning but looking away now. 

"You're just a kid, you don't know what you want," he dismissed as you rolled your eyes. You've heard that plenty. 

"I am not a kid, Toji. I know what I want and what I want is you." Without a second thought as Toji watched you stand on your bed, you grabbed the collar of his button down and tugged him in to you. Your lips slammed against his, not lasting any longer than a couple of seconds before Toji pushed you back. 

He was in shock, heart racing and eyes wide with confusion. Not that he never saw it coming, but a part of him almost nearly didn't want you to stop. And that was dangerous. He couldn't even have an inkling of desire for you. You were his assignment. Nothing more, nothing less. You were a child compared to him. A young woman with her whole life ahead of her, barely in her 20s and kissing a man in his mid 30s. "Don't ever do that again," he warned as you blinked a few times, frowning and eyes watering. "Get some sleep, you're not thinking straight," he said before storming out, shutting your door a bit roughly behind him. Leaving you there hurt, confused, angry and heartbroken. 

Snapping out of his thoughts at the not too distant memory that happened less than an hour prior, Toji cursed under his breath. He shouldn't have done any of that, shouldn't have handled the situation the way he had. Truth be told, he enjoyed your presence. He enjoyed your infatuation towards him. He liked that you were clingy and needy of his attention. It filled the void within him that he had struggled with for so long, using other women and gambling to cover it up. Who was he to have a girl like you by his side when he wasn't man enough? He wasn't the man for you. You deserved better. So much better. He wished you put the energy and effort you put into him, on to someone else. Someone more deserving. Someone more age appropriate. Not your bodyguard who was just a tamed assassin. A man who could kill and not feel an inkling of remorse. 

Yet, here he was, blaming himself and chasing after you. He couldn't let anything happen to you. Couldn't let you get hurt. Not only would he lose his job and possibly his head, but he'd never forgive himself if something were to happen and he never saw you again. Wouldn't forgive himself if he never had the opportunity to clear the air. God, what were you doing to him? Never did he care this much about a client! Let alone, a woman!

You couldn't be too far, he came back right when it began to rain. If you were smart enough, you were hiding out somewhere to avoid him. 

At least, he hoped. 

Of course, you, in all your dramatic wisdom, were walking in the rain. Arms clutching to yourself, trembling at the cold and the lack of layers on. In nothing but your pajamas and slippers. You were being over the top, but your mind was so clouded. Not only by the alcohol, but the fact that the man you were madly in love with rejected you. Sees you as nothing more than a child when you weren't. Just because you liked to have fun in your youth. Why did you have to fall for him? 

Crying as your head throbbed, barely able to focus on your surroundings, especially at a late hour like this one. You should've stayed home and just cried yourself to sleep. You were just so angry! You just wanted to leave and never see him again!

Suddenly, the sound of a booming voice shouting your name caught your attention. Looking over to see Toji exit his car and run after you, you quickened your pace. You wanted nothing to do with him, you didn't want to see his stupidly handsome face. You just wanted to be left alone, why couldn't he understand that?! 

Yet, here you were, being chased by him. You knew you wouldn't get far, he was too skilled and you may have ran from him a few times in the past only to be snatched up each time. Of course, even with that lingering in your head, you still hoped maybe this time you could escape him. Even if all those other times you ran with the desire of him catching you. This time? You wanted to be as far away from him as possible. 

Only to trip over uneven pavement. Lovely. 

Grunting and whimpering from the sudden impact, you were ready to force yourself up and keep going, only for him to snatch you up. 

"Are you crazy?!" He shouted in your face, hands gripping your upper arms as he shook you. "Do you know what time it is?! Do you know what could've happened to you?! You could've been kidnapped or killed!"

Feeling your blood boil as you panted, you pressed your small palms against him, shoving him off of you. "Get away from me! Don't touch me!" Continuously trying to push him away, Toji wouldn't budge. Growing frustrated and antsy, you acted before you even thought, your palm meeting his cheek as you slapped him. 

With a low snarl, Toji glared down at you, grinding his teeth. He couldn't understand why you were behaving this way, his denial towards you shouldn't have been such a big of a deal. It was a stupid crush, he was sure. Something shallow. So why did you continue to fight him?

Capturing your wrists and pinning your hands down as he pressed you against the light pole behind you, Toji hissed, "you need to start acting like a damn adult, not this childish bullshit—"

"Make me," you spoke through clenched teeth. You were shaking from both anger and the coldness of the late night showers. You looked deep into his eyes with, what could've been read as, deep hatred. He knew you didn't hate him, but you were furious. 

Feeling his heart race from the adrenaline, skipping a sudden beat from your threat, hating how they suddenly triggered something within, Toji snarled. He felt pathetic knowing he was feeling something he shouldn't towards you, fighting everything in him to suppress whatever it was, being why he reacted so roughly. Like he always did. "Stop behaving like a fucking brat. Grow up. You're a 20 year old college student. Not a 15 year old girl with a crush on her teacher. Act your age and stop thinking the world revolves around you, like you're invincible, when there are those who care and worry about you—"

"Fuck you!" You snapped. "You don't care about me!"

"Who says I don't?! I'm literally right here!" He shouted. 

"You're here because it's your job and so you can get paid!" You snapped back. "You don't care about me, not one bit! You never did! I was always just a paycheck! I hate that I fell in love with you!" Instantly regretting your words, realizing what you just said, you panicked. Looking absolutely mortified, you felt Toji's grip tighten around your wrists. You wanted to melt, puddle up and evaporate. Disappear from this universe. How could you let that slip?! Sure, you had an obvious crush but never love! At least, you wouldn't dare admit that!

Suddenly, you tried slipping from his grip, thrashing around to escape, punching his chest and telling him to let you go. Practically begging him to. Instead, he loosened his grip on one of your wrists and grabbed a fistful of your hair, angling your head as his lips collided with your own. 

It was far more intense than any other kiss you've ever had, the way he was practically eating your face. Tongue nearly down your throat, stealing every breath you had, saliva spreading in a sloppy manner. You didn't even think, your body acting before you could as your hands reached into his hair. Gripping and tugging at the dark locks roughly. Biting his lip hard enough until he bled, Toji hissed and landed a harsh smack against your ass, earning a yelp from you. 

"Is this what you wanted?" He asked in what was possibly the lowest voice he could muster. As if it was filled with anger, annoyance, worry and... lust. 

You couldn't even look at him, ashamed in yourself as you shook your head, speaking in the saddest voice, "I just want you to love me back..."

For once, Toji felt off guard, his eyes widening as his grip on you instantly loosened. His chest heaved as his heart thudded against his ribcage. It wasn't even pathetic the way you spoke, far from it. If anything, he felt bad that you wanted someone like from him. And he hated that a piece of him—a big one at that—wanted to give that to you. You did a number on him and you didn't even know it yet. Even in the rain his body felt like it was on fire, as if his skin would melt off. His mind was a mess, thinking about your confession and desires. How attached he's grown to you without truly realizing it. The interactions you've shared and the small advancements made. He hated that... a part of him knew he's fallen for you, too. Quite possibly since the first interaction when he told himself you were nothing more than a spoiled brat and to suppress those feelings... when, in reality, you were nothing but kind. A little wild and youthful, but you never did anything to make him hate you. Never did anything to make his job boring. You were a lot to handle but, he liked it. He enjoyed the thrill of the chase. He enjoyed you. But, god, did it feel so wrong for you to want a man like him with such a troubled past. With almost nothing to offer. 

"Fuck..." he cursed under his breath as you suddenly looked at him with pure confusion. Blinking in bewilderment. "I'm taking you to my place." Without a second thought, he lifted you up and took you to his car, driving you to his place and knowing very well this could end terribly for the both of you. 

But, he couldn't stop now, not with his hand on your thigh as he drove and not when he pulled you into his place when you two arrived. And definitely not when he stood before you, towering your figure as you looked up at him with those doe eyes that made him want to fucking melt. 

"Do you really want me?" He asked. "If you're not sure you can take it I rather you just shower and take my bed before I do something I'd regret."

"Toji, I want you so badly, it hurts," you nearly whispered in desperation, not wanting to lose any chances of having him. He had no idea how fast he made your heart race (or made your inner thighs ache) in deep need for him. 

Stalking towards you and cornering you as your back collided with a wall, Toji asked you once again, "are you sure?"

Nodding, you looked up at him with a shaky body, desperate to feel his touch. "Yes, please..."

Toji's hand instantly wrapped around your neck, thumb and pointer finger pressing against your jaw as he pulled you in. He lips smashed against yours, shoving his tongue past them with no hesitation. It felt like he was trying to consume you, exploring every inch your mouth had to offer, moans slipping past your part lips every time he'd sloppily kiss the corners of your mouth. The shared salvia smeared as you felt yourself becoming lightheaded. Your knees were just about to give out, your heart pounding in your chest and humming in your ears. Toji's grip tightened as his free hand slipped under your now soaked camisole. Groping and squeezing at your left breast, thumb brush against your hardened nipple before he pinched it. You moaned slightly into his mouth, panting against him as his tongue intertwined with your own. 

Easily lifting you up with one arm, he brought you to his bed, dropping you on it and wasting no time with undressing. He unbuttoned the dress shirt he wore, nearly tearing it off and doing the same with the shirt underneath. His shoes long gone as he tossed your slippers to a side. You sat up on your elbows, trying to catch your breath as you watched the god of a man strip before you. Sure, the suits he wore while on duty hugged his body painfully so, you knew this man was ripped. It was obvious with his towering size and broad shoulders... but to see him shirtless before you? Every line and curve, the shapes of his muscles bulging, the deep v cut and trail of hair that lead to what you needed most. You swore you were going to pass out. This was the man of your dreams, your soulmate, you knew it to be true. And now... you had him, nearly bare before you as he slipped off his pants and wore nothing but his black boxers. 

Toji gripped your ankles and tugged you close as you looked up at him, wide eyed and lips parted. Your chest heaved as he crawled over you, hand pressing against the back of your head, pulling you into a slightly gentler kiss. He still chased after your lips, still desired to taste you, but he wasn't trying to swallow you whole this time. Not that you would mind.  You'd give him everything if you could. 

His large hands gripped your waist as he adjusted himself, straddling you and leaning on his heels before reaching for the hem of your top. Eyeing you and the haze that fogged your eyes, he took in a sharp breath. "Are you sure about this?" Hearing you hum, he shook his head. "No, I need to hear you say it."

"Yes, Toji... Please..." you begged, voice nearly cracking in desperation and need of him. 

Taking in a deep breath, eyeing you once more, he lifted your top a bit to reveal your body, stopping midway before he could expose your breasts. "I won't stop until you tell me to."

"I won't," you shook your head stubbornly. "I need you."

Letting out a small huff as his head dropped, grip tightening around your top, itching to just rip it off and tear you apart, Toji bit down. You weren't like the other women, never would be, he wasn't going to just fuck you without a care. He had some decency. At least, when it came to you. He'd never admit to himself why. 

Lifting your top off and dropping it to a side, Toji took your body in, your curves and every little mark that were unique to you—whether it was a scar or freckle—it was as if he was mapping your skin. You were squirming, whether it'd be desperation, anxiety, or insecurity, Toji dove in. He gave your breasts the attention they deserved, taking one in his mouth and the other occupied in his bear paw of a hand. He licked at the skin as his fingers teased your other nipple, biting and breathing against the wet skin, making you tremble beneath him. 

He switched positions, moaning into your mounds in a sound you've never heard before. If you had to guess, by the way he gave your chest so much focus, how he sucked at them as if they were his life force, and the way he was basically humping you... you'd say Toji was a boob guy. Through and through, no matter the size, he just loved the feeling of the supple flesh in his hands, in his mouth... his aching dick between them, even. If you knew any better, and if Toji lost all self control, he definitely would've fucked them. 

But not now, not this time. It was his first time with you, he needed to learn your body. Explore every inch of it. What turns you on, what makes your eyes roll back, what has you seeing stars. 

Toji gripped at your shorts, tugging them down and tossing it onto your matching top. Kissing down your belly, nibbling along the way and leaving marks in his wake, Toji found himself nestled between your thighs. God, if there was something he loved more than boobs were a woman's thighs. Thick or not, he loved them, loved having them wrapped around his neck, suffocating him. If he had a way to go, it would be by them. 

Kissing your inner thighs, making it to the apex of them, the scent of your arousal was driving him insane. It felt as if he couldn't control himself, grip tightening around your waist as his finger tips dug into your flesh. Not seeming to care of you had a barrier blocking him, Toji buried his face further into you, nose nudging your clothed clit as you shuddered. The shock that was sent throughout your body made your heart race faster as you watched him. It was like he was in a trance, even with your panties still on. 

Burying his nose further into you as you trembled, Toji couldn't help but lick against the cloth, tongue nudging your bundle of nerves as your legs shook. "You better not muffle your sounds, I wanna hear it all," he warned as he looked at you, you instantly nodding. Grinning, he yanked your panties off before he pulled your thighs over his shoulders. Your pussy, in all its glory, bare before him. He couldn't help but grin at the sight, the scent driving him mad as he found himself rutting against the mattress. Truly, a woman's body was his ultimate weakness. 

Purposefully tossing your panties in a different direction to keep for himself (for future—personal—use, of course), Toji dove in. He didn't even bother to give a single warning. Open mouthed, practically making out with your pussy, your head fell back as you began to squirm. Your moans grew louder the further Toji teased you. With every lick and every suck of your clit, to the prodding of your hole with his tongue, you felt as if you forgot to breathe. 

Your thighs were clenching against his head, Toji's grip tightening to prevent you from suffocating him (even if he wanted to welcome it). The sounds were disgusting in a way that turned you. It was almost painful, how good it felt. The way he worked you open with just his tongue, slurping every bit of your essence that leaked. It didn't take Toji long to figure out how to make you come. It wasn't going to be the only time, anyway. 

You felt completely spent, lying almost limp before him. You should've known this man was an expert, but a part of you... that was rather innocent, had believed it was going to happen once when he was in you. Of course, you should've know once wasn't enough. No. Not when he introduced his thick fingers, spreading you open, pumping deeply into you as he watched you squirm. He was nearly getting off to it, the way you panted and moaned his name, smaller hands gripping at his sheets as your toes curled. He grinned to himself, licking his scar as he pushed your legs further apart, pumping his fingers faster into you, proud of himself for making you come a second time.

"Look at me," he demanded as your eyes fluttered open. Hooded and exhausted. You watched as he slipped his two fingers out of you, soaked in your release. He watched them in awe as you squirmed in embarrassment. Toji only made it worse when he brought them into his mouth, sucking with an obnoxious groan. It was then you noticed the painful bulge tenting in his underwear, an obvious wet spot that had formed. Did he get off... to you getting off?

"Fuck... 'm not gonna get used to that. Best I've ever had. So fucking good," he breathed as you took in deep breaths. "I think you're ready f'r me."

Gulping as he stood up to strip his underwear, an audible gasp left your lips as you eyed his cock. The tip red and leaking. Oh, you definitely weren't going to handle that. It was monster sized, there was no way no amount of prep would prepare you for the girth of his size. 

"Don't worry, I'll make it fit," he smirked, the twitch of his scarred lip making you let out an uncontrollable moan. He was hot and he knew it... and somehow that made it all the better. 

Kneeling before you and gripping your thighs, parting them and aligning himself with you, he reached in between and coated his length with your juices, pumping a few times before pushing into you. A gasp got caught in your throat as you nearly choked. Just barely in and you were squirming. "It's— Too big!"

"Too big? You were so desperate earlier," he nearly whispered, voice low and sending a chill down your spine. He pulled back and pushed further in, the stretch stinging and bringing tears to your eyes as you bit your bottom lip. "You can take it."

"Too much— 's too much," you breathed, hand gripping his forearms as if it would stop him. 

Instead, Toji laughed, pulling back and pushing in. Thrusting in and out at a steady peace to let you adjust to his size—until he began to reach deeper. Feeling as if you couldn't breathe, Toji leaned into you. Fucking you slowly and deeply, he left open mouth kisses along your neck and shoulders, biting the skin and leaving his mark behind. He couldn't help but lick at you, the sweat that was beading on your skin. You were intoxicating, he couldn't seem to have enough. All the little sounds, how you moaned his name. The way you begged. How your legs wrapped around him, keeping him in deep even if you cried that he was too much. 

He lifted his head enough to kiss you, tongue meeting tongue as he moaned into your mouth. God, it was all so much, yet... not enough. You wanted more, your body craved him. Your nails clawed at his back as your heels dug into him. He bit and sucked your bottom lip, lifting himself to look at your fucked out face. Swollen lips, teary cheeks, sprawled out hair soaked from the rain. You were an angel straight from heaven sent to him. He couldn't get enough. He needed more. More more more. 

Licking your tears away, deepening his thrusts as he grunted in your ear, your eyes rolled back, seeing galaxies the way his cock reached so deeply into you. You were sure he was going to mold himself against you. "Toji— I— I'm—" you were at a loss for words, mind going blank as you felt that chord within you snap. You came so hard, body trembling and overstimulated that you cried out while pulling at his hair. Toji rode it out, caressing your head and praising you as he continued to thrust in and out of you. 

"You did so good, so good. My good girl. You did so good," he praised as you trembled beneath him. Feeling his own orgasm building up, Toji eyed you and nearly came at the sight of your fucked out face. He fucked you dumb, he was sure there was no thoughts in that little head of yours. "In or out?"

"In— In..." you breathed, eyes barely able to stay open as your hands fell limp against his back, lost in his locks as you tried catching your breath. 

"Look at me," he said as you gulped, eyes fluttering open. He kept his focus locked on you, thrusting a few more times before stilling, coming deeply within your womb without looking away. It was almost the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. You weren't sure how he did it, so enthralled by those emerald eyes, you were afraid that you'd do whatever he said with how hypnotized you were. 

Staying in you for a moments worth as his forehead pressed against your own, breathing each other in, Toji pulled out, earning a whine from you. Nearly flopping on his back, catching his breath as his heart raced, he rolled to his side and snuck a hand in between your legs, feeling the way his come was leaking from you before he gathered it and plugged his finger into you. You let out a small cry, turning your face to hide into his chest. 

"Can't let any of it go to waste, can we?" He asked as you shook your head. Toji moved to leave kisses down your thigh as he pulled his hand away, lifting your legs enough to eye the way his seed pooled beneath you. All the guilt was out the window with how clouded his mind was. Having you this way, you giving yourself to him even if it was all so very wrong. 

He hated to admit, he doesn't remember the last time he had sex like this that wasn't a way just to fulfill himself and only himself. Instead, he was getting off to you. Getting off to the way he made you feel. Especially that blissed out expression on your face... If only he could fuck you again and again and again until—

Toji stopped himself there before the thoughts got worse. You were spent, exhausted and probably unable to move a single limb. He had to clean the both of you up. "C'mon, can't stay like this, as much as I'd love to." Patting your thigh as you groaned, he leaned in and left a few more kisses against your lips, you lazily reciprocating them. 

Toji lifted you in his arms and brought you to his shower. Your body was shaking and legs were surely weak. He made sure the water was warm enough for the two of you, helping clean one another in sluggish movements (more from you and your exhaustion). Toji dried you up after, wrapping a towel around his waist as he helped ruffle your hair with the towel and dress you in one of his shirts. He sat you on his couch with a cup of water as he changed his bedsheets. Bringing you back to the bed, cuddling up against one another as you tried to morph into him, desperate for his warmth, you nuzzled his bare chest. His scent was intoxicating, your eyes falling heavy as you felt your body being carried away into your world of dreams. 

"I'm so thankful you're my first," you mumbled sleepily. Toji's once droopy eyes shot open. 

"I was... your first?" He asked with all sorts of hesitation. You were a virgin... and he took your virginity? 

"Mhm... I was saving myself for someone special enough. Guess that was you," you said before falling asleep, deep enough to not have an inkling that your words would be the reason why Toji hardly slept that night. 

Toji took you home the following day bright and early before your parents returned from their business trip. You freshened up and felt a sense of ease and happiness that you've never felt before. Ready to return back to Toji to say your goodbyes as he spoke to your parents, you found yourself hiding behind a wall as your heart skipped a beat and smile dropped at his words. 

"I apologize for the late notice but I'll need to take a leave of absence. I already have a few people lined up that can take over my position," Toji said. "I'll give you their contacts."

"What happened? Is everything alright?" Your father asked. 

"It's personal reasons I rather not disclose, but I assure you these people can watch over your daughter at a level almost nearing mine."

"I hope all is well, thank you for all you've done for us. Will we be seeing you again?" Your mother asked. 

It was what felt like hours before Toji spoke up again, leaving you with a heavy heart that dropped to your feet at his last words, "I am unsure," he admitted. "I wish nothing but the best for you."

Those last words weren't directed towards your parents, it was almost as if Toji knew you were listening. Was he really abandoning you after last night? Did your confession mean nothing to him? Did he... use you? Your bottom lip began to quiver as your eyes pooled up at his last words:

"Take care."

[killerlookz]

hiiiii i adore your writing soooo sooo much!! i was literally dancing in my room to joosts music and i thought of a new fic idea:3 can you write something where Joost comes back home and the reader is dancing to his songs in their apartment, the reader doesnt notice him at first, completely in the moment and when they do, they get all embarrassed and its all fluff and cute??(((:

awww this is so cute <33 ty sm anon!!!

Dance With Me? | Joost Klein

content: gn! reader, no warnings rlly! just fluff :-) the song in question for this fic is Joost Klein 2 btw! this fic contains rpf and has been tagged as such, do not continue if that makes you uncomfortable

word count: 1.2k(just a wee little blurb!)

Sundays had always been your least favorite day of the week, a bleak reminder that the hours of the weekend were waning and you'd have to return to the monotony of the weekdays. Perhaps the worst part of Sundays was that they were your designated cleaning day, you would much prefer spending your last day free from work lazing on the couch or curled up in bed, but instead, once again you found yourself bouncing around your apartment straightening up whatever cleaning you had left unfinished throughout the week.

The silence of your empty apartment had been getting to you, bored out of your mind as you stood on a chair to dust off a bookshelf. The only thing you figured that would this slightly more tolerable was music at least the apartment wouldn't be so damn quiet.

You hop down from the chair, scurrying into the living room to turn on your speakers. It wasn't long until music was flowing into the apartment, loud, and probably obnoxious to the neighbors, but it hadn't been late enough to warrant a noise complaint- so they would just have to deal with it for now.

Among the many plusses of having a musician for a boyfriend, you had to admit being in possession of a stellar stereo system was definitely one of them. You had been able to hear the music just as perfectly as you pranced back into your bedroom, not exactly eager to get back to cleaning.

Though it would seem not much cleaning would get done after that point, more focused on the music than any of the tasks you had at hand.

"Joost Klein maar m'n stack die is groot!" You sang along with the lyrics that boomed over the speaker. Another plus of having a musician boyfriend was that he was a damn good musician., "De regering zoekt mij, maar ze vinden me nooit!"

You had found yourself jumping around to the music, a smile pressed onto your face as you swayed your head back and forth in time to the beat.

Still jumping, your arms in the air you start to spin around when suddenly the breath is knocked out of you at the sight of a figure in the doorway to your bedroom. Your body grows rigid, stopping dead in your tracks as your mind races to the worst-case scenario.

Luckily it hadn't exactly been the worst-case scenario, as your eyes focused and you were able to see your boyfriend leaning against the doorframe, a wide grin plastered on his face.

"Why'd you stop?" He asks, clearly amused, "I was enjoying your performance. I think you might put me out of a job."

"Joost!" Your voice is sharp like you're scolding him for being in his own home. Your eyes widen at the shock, not having expected him to be home, much less having even heard him walk through the door, "I thought you said you'd be running errands all day."

Embarrassment begins to grow on your face, your eyes refusing to meet Joost's, a sheepish smile tugging at your lips as your body grows hot.

"I've actually been gone awhile," He chuckles, "I finished my errands."

"Hmm," You hum, looking down at your feet, "Time flies." You mumble.

"It does when you're having fun, which you looked to be having." Joost muses, an eyebrow-raising behind the thick rims of his glasses.

"Cleaning was getting boring," You shrug, still refusing to make eye contact out of sheer embarrassment.

Joost can clearly sense your unease as his smile still rests on his face, beginning to bob his head up and down, slowly walking towards you with some grove in his step,

"Maar ik blijf Joost en ik bleef in de derde zitten," Joost lowly sings along to his own voice over the speaker, his movements becoming livelier as he gets closer to you, "Soms haat ik kittens en haat ik ook science-fiction."

He grabs your hands, as to ask you to dance with him, but you're reluctant, only holding his hands in front of him as he dances on his own continuing to sing along to his own song.

"C'mon," He urges, "Dance with me?" An exaggerated pout rests on his lips as he stares down at you with big, blue, puppy-dog eyes. You can't exactly resist that look, slowly stepping back and forth to appease his request.

He pulls at your arms as he jumps up and down to the music, just about forcing you to move with more excitement, your embarrassment quickly subsiding as Joost dances in a manner similar to how you had been just moments prior.

"Joost Klein maar m'n stack die is groot!" Eventually, the two of you are singing, bouncing up and down in sync with each other and you can't believe you had ever been embarrassed in front of Joost in the first place. It had seemed so trivial now that the two of you danced together, after four years together you were sure you had seen each other in much more embarrassing situations, you knew better, that he would never pass any judgment on you, "De regering zoekt mij, maar ze vinden me nooit!" You practically yell to each other, oversized grins burned into both of your faces.

The song soon fades out, allowing for a song that wasn't Joost's to start playing.

"You've got some good music taste," Joost teases, the two of your movements dying down.

"Meh," You shrug, "Joost is kind of mid, I think Ski Aggu is better,"

Joost clicks his tongue, shaking his head in joking disapproval,

"You're lucky you're cute." A kiss is pressed against your forehead. The small gesture leaves you with butterflies in your stomach, despite the length of time the pair of you had been together, every touch from him seemed to feel like you were falling in love for the first time all over again.

"You get much cleaning done?" He pulls back

You look around the bedroom, the bed still unmade, clothes strewn upon your dresser, various items scattered around your desk. You feel yourself becoming stressed again at the task ahead of you.

"Not quite." You respond sheepishly, you sigh, "I should probably-"

"It can wait, relax, liefje," Joost cuts you off, "I think we should continue our little dance party."

"Easy for you to say when you've gotten everything you need to get done today,"

"Hmm," Joost puckers his lips, twisting his face into an expression that makes it obvious he's thinking, "How about..." He trails off for a moment, inching closer to you, "You stay here and dance with me, and I'll clean the whole apartment while you're at work tomorrow."

It's an easy proposition to accept, not having to clean? Fine by you.

"Deal?" He asks, smiling down at you.

"Deal," You quickly nod.

"Eh," he holds up a finger, "We need to seal the deal."

You raise your eyebrows up at him, waiting for what he's going to say next,

"You gotta give me a kiss to seal our deal,"

You giggle, standing up on your tip toes, placing both of your hands on Joost's shoulders as you reach up to press your lips to his.

He's quick to kiss you back, resting his hands on your waist as he engages you in a soft, passionate kiss.

"Okay," He nods, "Now it's a deal."

[bloom-into-blue]

𝕊𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕖 𝕌𝕡 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔹𝕖𝕒𝕥

summary: your girlfriend's performing tonight with her band, and you're more than excited to see zoya in action! what kind of action you'll actually get, however, is something else entirely.

contents: drummer!zoya x fem!reader, established relationship, reader wears a skirt and makeup, fing.ering, some light degradation, some spanking (all of these reader receiving), cunn.ilingus (zoya receiving), a hint of body worship (zoya receiving).

word count: 3.3k

author's note: zoya being a drummer in official material just made things easier because funny story, this is based very loosely on real events. i was at a battle of bands once and met a really hot drummer, complimented her playing and she hugged me. i later got shoved into a wall when a metal band began playing and the front of the crowd became a mosh pit.

you feel so out of place here.

zoya’s band is performing tonight at a bar, and obviously, any self-respecting girlfriend would go to their girlfriend's concert, right? it's only natural! you've even gone as far as to make a banner in dark cloth with bai yi’s, eleven’s, serpent’s and zoya's names spray-painted on it, though anyone can tell there's favoritism when zoya's name is bigger than the others and there's messy hearts around it. whatever, you're happy to show support for the band, but you're also very much devoted to your pookie (that absolutely loathes being called pookie, hence why you do it).

…all that said though, you're still by yourself in the crowd in a place you're not used to, dressed in a relatively short skirt and a blouse that leaves your shoulders exposed. it was supposed to be something to tease zoya, get her to smirk and say, “oh, you just couldn't wait ‘til we got back home?”

now though, there's a breeze that makes you shiver and you're attracting less desirable attention. now there's less excitement and more desire for zoya to just whisk you away. all this skin you're showing is meant for zoya and zoya alone!

it seems like whatever god is out there is rather merciful though, because suddenly there's a hand that grips your wrist and pulls you away. at first you turn around in shock, already on edge, before you recognize your girlfriend's tall form and her silky, silver hair. just like that, you're smiling eagerly while you let zoya guide you to the backstage section only musicians are allowed.

the second you're behind the stage, zoya's glaring at you with furrowed brows. “c'mon princess, you should've texted me. it's obvious from miles away that you're uncomfortable,” she scolds while still gripping onto your wrist, her touch a bit more gentle now that it's just the two of you.

“s-sorry, i didn't know if you'd be able to answer,” you try to explain, suddenly feeling sheepish before her.

despite still being somewhat worried about you though, zoya sighs softly before a bright grin rises to her face, and suddenly her hands dart behind your thighs and she lifts you up like you weight nothing, which prompts you to let out a shocked little squeal. “z-zoya!” you exclaim, clearly flustered.

“what? i'm just happy to see my girl here, cheering for me!” she counters eagerly, and suddenly you're reminded of why you spent so much time working on that banner and wanted to remain in the crowd: so zoya could see it and see that cocky yet thrilled expression of hers.

the way she smiles is too much for you, and with a fond grin, you lean down while she's still lifting you up with those strong hands, then kiss zoya's lips so tenderly you'd think she's made of porcelain. of course, zoya's happy to kiss back, though she keeps it chaste because god knows she won't be letting you go if you deepen the kiss even a tiny bit.

“gonna be cheering for me in the crowd?” zoya whispers against your lips and you just know her lipstick left marks over your own. “or do you wanna stay near the stage? we can be even closer that way.”

“won't you get in trouble for sneaking me backstage though?”

“eh, who cares. i'm not letting my girl stay where she doesn't wanna.” as she speaks, one of her thumbs gently strokes the spot where your thigh meets your ass, and while normally that would drive you crazy, all it does is melt your heart.

“hm… if you're sure, babe. i'd rather stay near the stage.”

“consider it done.”

you kiss her on the cheek, both to show her your appreciation and to leave a mark of your own on zoya. “you're a darling.”

behind the two of you the unmistakable noise of bai yi fake gagging can be heard while eleven tells her off with a little laugh, meanwhile serpent signals that their band is up now. zoya pouts at being called away, though she goes right back to grinning at you with that usual, wolfish smirk of hers. she gives your ass a gentle pat, something that makes your cheeks burn, then sets you back down down and adjusts her own clothes.

“wish me luck, doll.”

as she leaves, you throw her a kiss silently, then smile brightly when she catches it and kisses her hand in response, walking backwards so her blue eyes stay glued to yours until she's properly on stage.

gah, you love her to bits.

“now, this group's a bit of a newer integration, but you may have heard of ‘em, so give it up for… path to nowhere!” the announcer shouts into a microphone before handing it to serpent, and the crowd goes wild while she sets it up on a stand.

instead of wasting any time, all that sounds is zoya slamming her drumsticks together as she shouts, “one, two, three, four!”

the crowd's already lively and raring even though less than a minute has gone by, aided by the punk sound of your girlfriend's band, to the point where they're already moshing with serpent’s voice as their background, and suddenly you're glad zoya read your comfort levels and pulled you to a more secluded area where you can hear them play just fine. it allows your focus to go entirely towards your girlfriend.

specifically, you can see the way zoya's jacket doesn't quite cover her tattoed shoulders and biceps, how she's already somewhat transpired as she grins from how excited everyone is. each hit she gives her drums resounds and vibrates across the place, you can quite literally feel the beat through your entire body as it reaches your heart, and yet it's still little compared to the way it throbs every time zoya glances your way between each roll against her snare drum.

she sends a wink your way once the first song is over, and you happily lift the banner for her to see, something that makes zoya laugh upon seeing her name dwarf the others. you're the only one who knows why zoya's laughing.

it's nice, the little things like that between you and your girlfriend.

before you know it, zoya's band is done and the next band is up, though you keep the handmade banner held up high when zoya and the others meet you back beside the stage.

you hear bai yi asking if they blew your mind, eleven thanking you for the banner, serpent eagerly running to hug you as thanks for the support.

they're all a bit too late for you to process them though, because zoya's arms are wrapped around your form in a tight embrace and obviously, ever the loving girlfriend, you wrap your arms around her all the same. she's warm, a tad sweaty and her breathing’s a bit labored from getting too into her playing, and you still find zoya to be the hottest woman to ever step foot on this planet. hell, her panting might be turning you on.

she surprises you by leaning in and whispering into your ear, “let's get out of here already, yeah? i don't have to stay here anymore and honestly, i need to fucking ravage you.”

your eyes immediately go wide and you pull away to stare at her like a deer in the headlights, yet zoya's smirking at you and staring right back like she didn't just threaten you with a good time, as surprised as you were. “got all worked up?” you whisper with a little smile, letting your hands rest on the slight curve of her hip while hers are far more adventurous.

“of course i fuckin’ did. did you forget what you're wearing or somethin’?” zoya grumbles back, and for a moment you had, you had genuinely forgotten you wanted to get a rise out of her with this short skirt that barely even reaches the middle of your thigh. still, her hands moving to hold your hips are a wonderful reminder of one of your main goals tonight.

“what about the rest of the bands though? i even made this-”

“come to my place and hang it above my bed.”

you find it hard to object to zoya's solid argument.

amongst the band’s objections and curious questions, zoya simply leads you away and out of the bar, the two of you giggling like you're drunk despite having drunk no alcohol at all, simply because zoya makes you feel giddy and she enjoys teasing you about it.

the two of you call an uber to go to zoya's apartment, but the second you're inside, your girlfriend decides she's done holding back. the second she's done giving her direction and without a care or worry, zoya crashes her lips into yours and her hands travel down your thighs to dig her fingers into the flesh there. you let out a muffled gasp against her eager mouth, happy to part your lips so zoya can push her tongue inside and claim you like she obviously wants to. her hands go further under your skirt now, groping at the round flesh of your ass, and zoya just about growls against your lips. you don't realize it, but this woman's been thinking about pulling you into a corner and pushing at least two fingers inside you the second she saw you in the crowd of that bar.

the car door presses against your back uncomfortably though, distracting you from zoya's eager hands, and so it's a blessing when the uber driver awkwardly announces that you've arrived at your destination.

zoya simply shoves some cash at him and barks for him to keep the change before eagerly unlocking the door behind you and lifting you like she had done before, something that once more prompts a shocked gasp out of you. she carries you while leaving hungry, almost clumsy kisses across your neck and jawline, to the point where you have to be on the lookout to avoid bumping into anything while zoya leaves her lipstick all across your shoulders.

the heat of the moment doesn't die down when you finally reach the door to zoya's apartment, where she finally lets you down to reluctantly open it as fast as humanly possible. in the blink of an eye, you drag her into the apartment and she matches your energy, instantly closing the door behind you and pushing you against the hard surface.

“you think you're so clever,” she grunts before pausing to nibble and suck right onto your pulse point and leaving a dark hickey there. “thought i’d pounce you the second i saw you.”

you would've been right, but she's never going to say that part out loud.

“you're mine, doll. if anyone's gonna see all this skin, they better know i'm the one that's got you covered in marks.”

“i-i’m all yours,” is all you can whine under your breath, already feeling like your mind is entirely blank even though all zoya's done is kiss and grope you. it's just that easy for her to turn your body into her plaything.

“atta girl. all mine,” zoya praises with a smug smirk before she pulls off her jacket and unbuckles her belt a second later. your eyes brighten up like you're seeing a christmas present, and it's almost second nature to fall onto your knees before your girlfriend, something that makes her chuckle. “eager, aren't you? that's a good slut.”

you don't answer zoya aloud, but instead lean forward to press sloppy kisses over her abs, and the sigh she lets out when she takes in the sight makes you clench your thighs. you continue to press your lips against her taut skin, covering her in messy lipstick marks while making your way down her navel. a silent glance upward, a request for permission to continue, and zoya bites her lip while tangling her fingers across your hair. “show me what that tongue can do,” she doesn't say, but commands.

eager, you pull her pants and boxers down until her cunt is exposed, because you know she likes fucking you while clothed, and you dive to drive your tongue between her drenched lips like a starved man. “fuck, that's it,” you hear her grunt while giving her clit a few licks for good measure, then press your mouth against the edge of her entrance, collecting all the slick zoya's making just because of you, and that thought alone drives you crazy.

you don't get to bask in that thought for long though.

zoya's grip on your hair tightens a second later, and you whimper before leaving your tongue flat, knowing that's just a warning before she's rutting against your tongue and guiding you by your hair into whatever side she so desires. “good god, such a pretty mouth,” she grumbles between labored breaths, and you're more than happy to let her use your tongue to her heart's content. her clit keeps brushing against you, bringing out grunts and groans out of zoya like she's losing her grip on reality. between the way she looks down at you like she owns you, eyes clouded from the pleasure, makes you clench your thighs while your cunt squeezes around nothing.

“gonna cum soon. you better be a good little whore and take it all,” she grunts while still riding your mouth, pushing down against her entrance. you moan against her and push your tongue inside while nosing her clit to try and make her reach her peak. obviously, you're more than happy to comply with her request.

the second zoya creams into your mouth, it's hard to not let out a pleased moan, for you love the way she tastes against you. she trembles above you with a loud groan, her grip tight and borderline desperate on your hair, though that simply makes you moan louder into her drenched folds.

when she's done though, her grip loosens, and you see the softness in her gaze when those lovely blue eyes look down at you. “good girl,” she whispers while gently stroking your hair with a shaky hand.

you pull away from her, smiling brightly at zoya. “i live to serve,” you murmur softly, something that brings a chuckle out of her.

“alright now, i'm pretty sure i've got a promise to keep,” zoya says before taking you by the wrists and pushing your front against the nearest wall, her chest pressed against your back as she holds you there.

“z-zoya,” you gasp out, only to let out a breathless sigh when your girlfriend's hands start to travel across your body in ways she couldn't allow before. one of zoya's hands goes up your blouse and under your bra to toy with your breast and pinch the nipple, something that brings little moans out of you, much to her delight. the other hand meanwhile lifts your skirt from behind and two of her fingers instantly start brushing against your clothed cunt, the fabric already ruined from how turned on you are from eating her out.

“all this for me?” zoya rasps into your ear and smirks to herself when all you let out in response is a needy whine. between her hand playing with your tits and the fingers that don't quite go inside you, she's making every fiber of your being ache to just let her claim you already.

suddenly though, the hand playing with your chest darts away, and before you can ask zoya what’s wrong, she brings it down onto your ass cheek with a loud smack. instantly, you cry out at the sensation, caught off-guard… though you arch your back a bit a mere moment later, allowing zoya full access to your body.

“you don't get to tease me, dressing up like this for one of my shows,” she scolds before giving your ass another smack; the skin is already turning red. “you've got no idea what it was like, seeing you like this and having to hold back just ‘cause i've got a show.”

“i-i’m sorry-” you begin with a shaky voice, only for your words to morph into a sharp moan as she smacks your other ass cheek with the hand that was teasing your drenched in your own slick.

“i'll make you understand what will happen if you dress like this again.”

christ, this just makes you want to do it again as soon as possible.

zoya then pulls your soaked underwear out of the way until your panties fall to your ankles, and without waiting for a single instant, pushes three whole fingers into you while still sporting that smug smirk of hers, which only widens at the loud moan she drags out of you. “just like that, yeah. keep making noises like that while i'm the one that fucks you.”

you obey without complaints, something she makes not just easy but inevitable. zoya's fingers fill you up as she pumps into you at an already unbearable pace. the way she pants and growls into your ear only makes you clench around her fingers more, which makes her chuckle lowly against you and in return your cunt flutters around her, trapping you in an endless cycle. her fingers move in and out, already accustomed to your walls like it's her second nature, and it only takes her a moment before her fingers curl up against your g-spot and ram into it like she's trying to bully it.

“zoya, fuck, p-please,” you gasp between wanton moans, focusing on the way her body presses against yours while her fingers go in and out of you.

zoya laughs, though the sound is eclipsed by the wet noises coming from below and the moans coming from above. “please what, babe? c'mon, you're a big girl, so use your words.”

it's hard to speak at all right now, but somehow you manage. “c-close. please lemme cum,” you plead, then squeeze your eyes shut to focus on the pleasure she makes you drown in.

“just like that, yeah. that's my slut,” she says as her free hand darts to your front and starts rubbing your clit with two fingers. instantly, your eyes go wide and the volume of your moans grows, feeling breathless under the assault of her fingers that fuck you from all possible angles. you can't think, you can barely even see beyond the stars she brings to your vision, yet zoya remains relentless as she fingers you.

the only warning you give her is a sharp gasp before you cry out and let your head fall forward, a sudden stream of cum shooting out from between your legs that coats her hands and some of her floor as well.

“goddamn,” you hear her whisper in shock, awe and even pride, though it's almost impossible to think through your orgasm. she helps you ride your high while slowing the pace of her fingers, until she finally stops and slowly pulls away to hold you from behind in a tender hug.

“you were beautiful there, babe,” she whispers, gently pushing your hair away to leave gentle kisses at the back of your neck. this woman behaves like a beast more often than not, but zoya still treats you like fragile porcelain when she's done making you see white. it's something that only makes you love her more and more.

with tired breaths, you smile back and close your eyes, enjoying the way her lips feel against you. “you were awesome too,” you praise, “both here… and on the stage.”

the soft laugh she lets out against your skin makes goosebumps rise where she breathes. “damn right i was. i gotta be cool onstage when i know my girlfriend's watching.”

the next morning, when you wake up in your girlfriend's bed with your head tucked comfortably under her chin and soft snores coming from zoya, a glance upwards makes a wide grin rise to your face.

the banner you made for her and the rest of the band hangs there, above the bed, proudly.

[avatar-anna]

Can you write something about reader having an ED and Harry doesn’t notice at first but then starts to notice And then eventually helps you through it?

Try To Find a Way Back

trigger warning: mentions and direct references to eating disorders. please be cautious if you find this topic triggering

so, i don't know a ton about eating disorders and what it's like for someone who has one to be actively struggling with it, and writing about something i don't completely understand makes me nervous bc i don't want to get it wrong. however, since you asked, i'm going to do my best to write this!

in case anyone is curious, this is the article i referenced while writing

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

"I just don't understand what her issue is. If I was in her shoes, I'd get help. It's that simple."

"I don't know if—"

"I mean, it's not like struggling with eating makes her special. Like, everyone has body image issues and we just deal with it. Harry will probably break up with her because of all the reassurance she needs. Poor guy probably didn't know what he got himself into when he asked her out. God what a headache for him."

You backed up slowly, not wanting to hear the conversation that was so clearly about you anymore. You'd gone to grab drinks for yourself and who you thought were your friends, but now your hands were shaking so hard you worried the contents in the two wine glasses would come spilling out, glass shattering to the floor. Your heart pounded in your chest, bile rising in your throat. Finding the nearest server walking around with an empty tray and, you set the glasses down before booking it out of the club.

Tears were already starting to pool in your eyes as you ordered an Uber to take you home. Phoebe was one of Harry's friends, but she'd been kind to you since the day he introduced you to her and the rest of his close knit group of friends he'd had for years. You'd been incredibly nervous. You were an outsider, not a model or a writer or a musician or an actor. You weren't extraordinarily talented or beautiful, you were just...you.

None of that seemed to matter to Harry, though. He'd been nothing but flirtatious since the moment he met you. Well, once he was able to look past his nerves. He'd been a bit of a stuttering mess at first, and it wasn't until an hour into talking to him where he really got comfortable enough to flirt, and flirt he did.

It took not one, not two, but three tries to get you to go out with him, your insecurities getting in the way the first two times. But that had been a few months ago, and now you were pretty sure you were in love with him, except now you knew his friends hated you.

She doesn't understand, you thought. It isn't so black and white. You would love to just fix yourself, to make yourself see a doctor, seek help. But eating disorders were a behavioral disease, and when you were in the thick of it, it was hard to shake. You'd told Phoebe about your struggles with your weight and eating disorder in confidence, thinking she was someone you could confide in, only to find her mocking your pain behind your back to someone else, and now you didn't know what to do.

Your phone buzzed with a text message, and you tensed when you saw who it was from.

Bubbie: hey where'd you run off to?

You: not feeling well. heading home

Bubbie: why didn't you say anything? let me take you home

Wiping away a tear, you typed out a text. In most cases, being around Harry would've brought you comfort, but right now, you just wanted to be alone. You couldn't let him see you like this, so unsteady.

You: it's ok. enjoy your first night back with your friends. kissies xx

*.*

You'd been avoiding Harry for the last week and a half. Phoebe's words sent you into a bit of a tailspin, and shame kept you from speaking to him, not wanting to involve him in your issues. Because you realized Phoebe was right. To some extent. You should've been able to ask for help, you should've been able to tell Harry how much you were really struggling, but your shame kept you from reaching out to anyone or asking for help, along with the desire to keep up your habits, which created a toxic cycle.

"It seems like this boy is doing you more harm than good, honey," your mom said over the phone. She was the only one you told about what you overheard Phoebe say.

"He's not the problem, Mom. I just—"

"You were doing so well up until you started seeing him. I just don't want you to slip again. I worry about you, and if being with that boy is causing you problems, then you need to look at the bigger picture."

Her heart was in the right place, it really was. Your mom had been there for a lot of your darkest moments and was rightfully protective of you and your health. But Harry really wasn't the problem. He'd never made you feel like you needed to change your body for him, it was quite the opposite in fact. He constantly praised the way you looked, and not because you needed reassurance or asked him to, despite Phoebe's assumptions. He just really thought you were beautiful.

"I can't just live my life alone, Mom," you said eventually, not wanting to admit more. "He makes me happy."

You heard your mom sigh, but she thankfully didn't press the matter further, even though you knew she had lots to say. She always had lots to say where your boyfriend was concerned. The last thing she said on the matter was, "Just...be careful."

Once you hung up the phone, you fell back against your bed for a few minutes before standing up and walking to your kitchen. A trip to the grocery store was in order, just based on the meager items in your pantry and refrigerator—pasta and no sauce, cereal but no milk, veggies but they weren't organic, and did you really need the family size bag of Doritos—

You took a breath, willing those thoughts away. You were fine. You were just upset about what Phoebe had said about you, nothing more. "It's just the grocery store," you murmured. "You go all the time."

*.*

The grocery store had never looked bigger. There were too many labels, too many colors, too many brands making promises of health and wellness. Your hands gripped the shopping cart until your knuckles were white, eyes wide as you carefully browsed the aisles. Everyone else was going about their business just fine. You watched as people grabbed what they needed with ease, scratching items off their lists and moving into the next thing.

How did they know which bread to buy? How did they decide on a cereal? Whole grain or multi grain? They didn't even look at the nutritional facts before putting something in their carts, didn't stop to do the math, counting calories and carbs and grams of sugar against what they already had. How could they just exist without caring about—

Your phone buzzing pulled you from your anxiety-riddled thoughts. With shaking hands, you pulled your phone out of your oversized zip-up, Harry's face popping up with the notification that he was calling you.

"H—Hello?"

"Hey, you! I feel like I haven't heard from you, so I thought I'd call and check in."

You smiled, despite the anxiousness that still had your shoulders tensed. "Sorry, I've been...busy."

"God, me too," Harry said woefully. "But I've let work get in the way far too much this week. I need to see you. Are you free tonight? I can come over and make dinner for the two of us."

The word dinner filled you with dread. That wasn't a good idea right now. The idea of anyone seeing you eat, even Harry, felt terrifying. But what could you do? Saying no would involve having to explain yourself, and you wanted to do that even less.

"I'd love to," you said, all that anxiety coiling in the pit of your stomach.

"Yeah? You're in for a treat, I happen to be a fabulous cook."

"Can't wait."

You couldn't even feel excited to see Harry. The dread of having to sit through dinner took up too much space in your mind. You tried to will it away. You liked Harry too much to let your mind get in the way of messing up the good thing you had going.

*.*

A few weeks later, and you were at Harry's house for dinner again, only this time it wasn't just the two of you.

Your date with Harry went better than expected. You picked at your food and pushed it around, shame eating away at you as you lied through your teeth about not feeling very well when Harry asked why you'd hardly eaten anything. He'd been so sweet, making you a cup of tea, laying down with you on his couch to soothe your fake stomach ache, kissing the top of your head and rubbing a hand over your stomach comfortingly.

You felt horrible for lying to him, and you very well couldn't come clean after the fact, but it was better than talking about it. The less you talked about it, the better.

Tonight, you'd been carefully picking at your food again, making sure to take bites that were big enough to look normal and trying not to look like it was making you physically unwell. Each bite was excruciating, your mind telling you not to eat anymore and that you could never exercise all those calories away. It was all you could do to not focus on all the ways you knew how unhealthy this dinner was. It didn't match at all with your diet journal and you'd have to make up for it by—

"—just so hard, don't you think, Y/n?"

"Huh?"

Phoebe smiled at you, but it didn't feel very friendly. You'd avoided talking to her all night so far, had even taken the farthest seat away from her at the table.

"We were talking about how hard it is to live here in LA," she said, gesturing vaguely to the people around her. "It feels like there's a new diet trend every week, and it's just so hard to lose weight while not looking completely anorexic—"

"Phoebe," Harry said tightly, cutting her off before she could finish.

Your grip was tight on your fork, unable to meet anyone in the eye. Did they know? You'd been careful tonight, and any of the other times you'd seen Harry or his friends recently. You didn't want their pity or their questions or their judgement. Nothing would've been worse than the disappointed look on Harry's face, or the look of disgust if he discovered the truth.

That still wasn't enough to stop, though.

"What? I didn't mean to be offensive. I'm just saying how hard it is to get to that perfect size. Y/n knows what I'm talking about. God, I feel like I can taste every calorie I eat, can't you, Y/n?"

"I—Not really," you said meekly. This was not the conversation you wanted to have right now, especially since it felt like you could feel everything you'd eaten tonight, every single bite, sinking to the bottom of your stomach.

"God, I wish I could just throw it up, you know? Then I could eat whatever I want and not feel guilty about it. No more diets, no more counting calories, I could—"

"That's enough," Harry said, voice sounding harder than you'd ever heard it. He glared at Phoebe, whose mouth was still open from stopping mid-sentence. Her eyes were wide with shock as she tried to justify her conversation topic.

"Excuse me," you murmured to Harry, standing up on shaking legs to step away from the table.

"Y/n—"

"I just need to use the restroom," you said, trying your best to talk around the lump in your throat.

You went upstairs to one of the guest bathrooms where you wouldn't be disturbed, though you locked the door to the toilet for good measure. Panic and guilt and self-loathing swirled through you, tears burning your eyes.

For weeks, you told yourself you had it under control. Your behavior was strict, but not worrisome. And effective, too, but that only made guilt and shame mingle with the feeling of success. Your jeans were loose, but you took to wearing baggy clothes so no one would notice. The scale in your bathroom got lower, but it never seemed low enough. Your stomach was taught, rib cage starting to poke through skin, but that just made you feel even worse about yourself and how quickly things escalated. It was a neverending cycle, but as you continued to lean over the toilet, you told yourself it would be just this once. Just this once and you wouldn't do it again. Just this once—

"Y/n? Can you let me in?"

Tears fell harder when you heard his voice. You couldn't let him see you like this. You couldn't face the humiliation, how disappointed he'd be when he realized—

"Y/n, open the door, or I'll break it down, I swear to God," Harry said with urgency in his voice.

Wiping your eye and then your mouth, you stood up, trembling as you turned the lock. You opened your mouth, unsure if an apology or an explanation would come tumbling out of your lips. But Harry pulled you to his chest before you could say a thing. You couldn't help the sobs that wracked your body as he held you up. His hand held the back of your head fiercely, but not harshly, the other one pushing you as close to him as he could.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I should've said something sooner. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't realize—I never should've—I'm so sorry."

You didn't find out what Harry thought he shouldn't have done because he rested on top of your head, kissing you repeatedly. He squeezed you so tight, as if he worried you would slip away if he didn't. You couldn't focus on anything else but your own emotions, too ashamed at being caught and guilty for having slipped so far in the first place.

"I was okay," you sobbed. "I thought I was okay. I thought—I thought I could control it."

Harry finally leaned away from you, just enough so he could hold your face in his hands and look you in the eye. "This is not your fault. Do you understand? It's not your fault."

More tears streamed down your face, but Harry's thumbs were there to wipe them away. His eyes roved over your face, searching for something, but you didn't know what. Eventually, he said, "There's so much I want to say, but I think for now...I think you should rest."

You agreed, so you didn't try to object. You were exhausted, just wanted the whole evening to evaporate into thin air. You didn't even care if Harry's friends were still in the house or not, you just wanted all the thoughts in your head—the ones still screaming at you to finish what you started and the ones begging you to let Harry help—to stop.

"I just want it to stop," you mumbled.

Harry rested his forehead against yours, breathing in deep. "I know."

*.*

"You're doing so well, love."

It didn't feel like it. In fact, you felt the exact opposite of well. But Harry was holding your hand as you walked through the aisles of the grocery store, his encouragement pushing you to take each step. "I don't think I can do this today."

"What did your eating disorder say to make you think that?" Harry murmured, causing you to grumble under your breath, but it did the trick. You took another step and grabbed the jar of pesto off the shelf.

He'd been doing that a lot recently. Ever since you came back from the treatment facility, he talked about your eating disorder as if it were a separate person, like it was a little devil with red horns talking over your shoulder and not a disease. It grated on your nerves at first because it made you feel like he was talking down to you, and because he was right. Your eating disorder had been the voice in your head and making you make unhealthy decisions. How he saw it first, you had no idea, you were just thankful he was still here, still with you on your road to recovery.

The trip to the grocery store took longer than it probably should've, especially since you only needed a couple things. But the minute you stepped inside, your body tensed up as you took everything in. It was a struggle not to turn packages over to read the nutritional facts, and even harder to put things in your cart. Today was re-introducing day, which meant eating a meal that had foods you'd actively avoided in the past. It scared the shit out of you, which was why Harry was here.

He'd been incredible, more patient than other people would be. He put up with your mother's harsh words when she blamed him for your relapse, he was there every day he was allowed to visit, and he picked up every phone call when you eventually came home. Whether it was to talk you down or talk about random things that came into his head to distract you from dangerous thoughts, he was there.

You honestly didn't know what you did to deserve him.

"How can I help?" Harry asked when you came to another stop.

"Do we really have to buy the parmesan cheese?" you asked, eyeing the aisle filled with various cheeses with a queasy stomach.

"I think you can do it," Harry said, not entirely answering the question. "I can tell you a story while I put it in the cart for you, if that helps."

"Okay," you said, not really sure if it would.

"Right, let me think for a moment," Harry said, mostly to himself. "Oh. Got it! Okay, so one time I went on this blind date, right? And I normally don't like them because my friends seemed to think I can't function without a partner, which is horribly embarrassing, and I normally have a horrible time, but I went to the bar I agreed to meet this person at, and—"

"What? You hated it?" you asked. Part of you thought it was weird that Harry was talking about a date with someone else, but it was doing its job.

Harry raised his brows at you. "I talk, you push."

You rolled your eyes, but pushed the cart another inch, trying to focus on his voice and not where you were headed.

"As I was saying, I get to the bar, and I'm like, holy shit, because I see the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life, and as I go over to talk to her, someone calls out to me, and I realize the girl I saw wasn't who I wasn't supposed to go on a date with, it was someone else. But I can't just ditch this other girl even though I'm dying to just go over to the girl by the bar, so I stay put and try to engage in conversation and laugh when I think I'm supposed to, but I just—All I could think about was the girl in this cute little mini skirt and vest and what was making her laugh so damn much."

"Mini skirt and vest...at a bar...Wait, you don't mean—You were on a blind date when we met?"

The bar in question wasn't one you frequented. It was an upscale one, and you went because your friend dragged you inside, curious to see if she could get any CEOs to buy her a drink, and you...you were just there to make sure your friend got home okay. But somehow you bumped into Harry, though now you supposed you knew why.

"Not technically," Harry said. "The date was over when I walked up to you, and, well, you know the rest. I charmed the pants off you."

You snorted. "That's not what happened."

You'd known who Harry was when before he introduced himself, it was kind of hard not to. You'd seen music videos and heard his songs on the radio and seen him on your TV more than a handful of times, but it was definitely surprising to see him in person, especially because on screen he seemed so chill and cool and cute, the Harry you met was cute, but he could hardly get a word out.

"Nonsense. I remember it differently," Harry said with a sniff.

"You were so nervous it was so cute," you said, wrapping your arms around one of his while he took a turn with the cart.

Kissing the top of your head, he said, "If that's how you want to remember it, fine. But I do remember talking to you for hours and feeling like no time had passed at all. We closed down the bar, do you remember?"

"Mmhm," you said, nodding against his shoulder. "And then you tried to take me home."

"Can you blame me? I met the girl of my dreams, I couldn't just let you leave."

"You mean that?" you asked, looking up at him.

With everything you'd been through recently, it surprised you to know Harry was still with you. This battle you were fighting was lifelong, and you wouldn't have blamed him for leaving somewhere down the line. You loved him, and it would've hurt like hell, but you would've understood. But he never did, and every time you asked him about it, he just said he wasn't going anywhere.

Eventually, you stopped asking.

"I do," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "You did it, love."

"What?" Raising your head off his shoulder, you looked around. You were at checkout, all the items you and Harry set out to buy today sitting in your basket. "We did it."

"You did it, Y/n. I'm so proud of you."

Relief rushed through you. It was one hurdle, just one, but each one was a victory, and Harry was there to help you celebrate each one. It was too public to kiss him, even though you felt the urge to, so you squeezed his hand and kissed the top of it instead.

"I love you," you whispered.

"I love you too," he said, taking you by surprise when he tilted your chin up for a brief kiss. "You ready to check out?"

Anxiety filled your belly once more as the weight of your situation bore down on you once again. Squeezing Harry's hand again, you shook your head.

Harry wrapped an arm around your shoulders and tucked you into his side. The warmth emanating from him was a comfort, and you breathed in deep, letting the scent of his cologne and laundry detergent flood your senses to distract you.

"Don't listen to the disease, Y/n. Listen to me, okay? How about another story?"

You nodded. "Please."

"You're going to be alright, Y/n, I promise," he said.

And maybe you didn't believe him completely now, but you trusted him enough to believe it for you until you did.

[frudoo]

Random König Headcanons

Hey y'all! This is my first post on here so I hope it's alright <3

These are all pretty SFW (for now >:)), so I don't think there's really any content warnings??? Idk let me know if I'm wrong.

Likes going to Build-a-Bear. Will definitely make your bear and his bear kiss.

This man can COOK. Oh, you want takeout? Nah. He's already pulling out the ingredients for your favorite dish. Buys the two of you matching aprons.

Talks to animals like they're babies. I also feel like the man just... attracts wild animals like birds and squirrels. Undercover Disney princess??? Perhaps.

Speaking of babies... the man is so good with kids. Laughs all giddily when toddlers climb him like a tree. Wants you to have his babies so bad

Actually has a decent singing voice. Get him drunk enough and he's doing karaoke like a pro. Oh, and if you agree to sing a duet with him??? He's GONE. Goes all out.

Likes to hold pinkies when walking around in public. He likes holding hands, too, but when he's feeling a little more anxious he'll intertwine your pinkies. PDA isn't his strong suit but he HAS to be touching you at all times, and it's like a pinky promise that he'll always be there with you :,)

Draws patterns/words on your back with his fingertips when y'all are laying in bed. Mainly a bunch of pet names, "I love you"s, and hearts. And cartoon penises

This big burly BEAST of a man loves being the little spoon, no matter how impractical it is. Honestly loves any cuddling position though.

Pouts when you're not giving him enough attention. His lips get SO puffy when he's jealous. Talking to one of his friends? He's grumbling German insults to them under his breath. Eventually he'll just scoot closer to you on the couch and rest his legs on top of your lap. BAM, now he's got your attention, even if it's just you telling him that he's crushing you. Big ol' lap dog.

Likes to do your hair!! He'll take pictures of what he's done and show them to you like a hairdresser :,) It could be the worst hairstyle you've ever seen but you're wearing it PROUDLY.

On the rare occasion that you two go out to a restaurant, he REFUSES to tell the waiter if his meal is wrong. Oh, it's shrimp and he's allergic to shellfish? He's telling the waiter he loves it and will just stare at the untouched plate sadly. Also will not let you trade plates with him because what if the waiter sees??? Tries to sink under the table when you finally cave and tell the waiter that the order is wrong. Glares at you the entire time he eats his new correct meal but is secretly so thankful. <3

Is absolute trash at video games. One of the best combat soldiers on the planet, but put a controller in his hands??? He's lucky if he gets three shots in.

Bought an engagement ring two weeks after you two started dating. I mean, he literally fell in love with you immediately upon seeing you for the first time, so are you really surprised??

Is a really good gift wrapper. His hands always start cramping around the holidays because he does most of the wrapping. His love language is 100% physical touch/gift giving btw.

Adding onto the singing thing... I just think he would be a really good musician, specifically a drummer.

NOSE NUZZLES. Like the Brendan Fraser type of kiss where you just rub noses after. He just gives off those romantic vibes <3

Unconventional kisses. Eyelids, the tip of your ear, everywhere you have moles, your calves, ankles... the man is obsessed with you, and he's kissing you wherever he can reach.

ADORES taking baths with you. Candles, rose petals, bath bombs: he does it all. Washes your hair for you. Lots of forehead and temple kisses.

I am unwell. I need him so bad.

Please feel free to reblog if you'd like!! I hope y'all enjoyed my little (very self-indulgent) rambles. :)))

[hopeluna]

!! Fic Recs

Most of these are long fics or series and some of these are 18+ so be aware? But anyways, enjoy these works from absolute writing angels <33

Jujutsu Kaisen

Symptoms & Causes by @lostfracturess

Gojo Satoru x reader

Synopsis: he's arrogant, self-centered, and he's your professor. renowned for his brilliance in neurosurgery and infamous for his allure. too bad you have to work with him on this research team. now you're stuck with dr. satoru gojo, delving into the complexities of both the brain and the heart—and of how far you'd go for a love that could destroy not only him but you as well.

Love Entries by @chuluoyi

Gojo Satoru x reader

Synopsis: series of episodes of your life with the strongest sorcerer throughout the past and present

men are so quick to blame the gods by @awearywritersworld

Sukuna x reader

Synopsis: your boyfriend is a heavy sleeper, leaving you to form an unlikely relationship with the curse occupying his body during the late hours of the night.

wanna be yours by @nezuscribe

Gojo Satoru x reader

Synopsis: you find yourself in a marriage that you never wanted in the first place. your husband seems to hate you and you begin to wonder if anything you used to think of him was even true. who would have though a marriage to gojo satoru would be so difficult?

his kiss, the riot by @nezuscribe

Gojo Satoru x reader

Synopsis: the king has been struck by never-ending grief when he found out about his wife's infidelity. he has her ordered to be killed, but afterward, he is no longer the same. every night he marries a woman, and every morning he has her killed. the endless cycle continues until the night you're chosen to be his wife. instead of letting him ruin you, you tell him a story. you tell him a story that he just has to know the ending to. and so begins the story of one thousand and one arabian nights.

i'd crawl home to her by @likelilacwine

Geto Suguru x reader

Summary: the god of the underworld brings his most valued prize home at the risk of tearing the realm itself apart.

Boku No Hero Academia

@andypantsx3

Yes, her entire blog. Pls each and every series of her is god send. I cannot reccomend this to you enough!!

pretty white dress by @gaybybirth

Dabi x reader

Synopsis: You're shelving books like normal at work when a new face comes into the store. And in a small town where everyone knows each other, a new face really stands out. Especially when it's one that makes you burn in ways you never have.

FILL MY LITTLE WORLD (RIGHT UP) by @shibaraki

Aizawa Shouta x reader

Synopsis: you are employed by aizawa shouta to nanny for his vulnerable adoptive daughter eri while he’s at work. as time passes you find yourself equally smitten with them both, longing for a more permanent place in their family.

please save me by @hitoshiyoshi

Platonic!young!shimura tenko x reader

Synopsis: you save shimura tenko

Stranger Things

Not Wholly Evil by @uglypastels

Eddie Munson x reader

Synopsis: as the daughter of the Governor, there is quite a heavy prize set on your safe return home, and the captain will not let anything come between him and his bounty.

As you wish by @corroded-hellfire

Eddie Munson x reader

Synopsis: When Eddie isn’t appreciated like he should be, his babysitter feels the need to step in and comfort him.

Living After Midnight by @munson-blurbs

Eddie Munson x reader

Synopsis: Being a perpetual people-pleaser meant that you were constantly putting others before yourself--particularly your parents and the eccentric guests who stayed at their motel. But when a surly and mysterious musician checked in indefinitely, he flipped your whole world on its head.

Please do tell me if you want to be removed from this for whatever reason!!

[lavenderlyncis]

Join me in reviewing Olivia Rodrigo's album GUTS. I've waited years for this!!

all-american bitch - 9/10, big fan. I love it when she screams because the world is unfair. same girl, same

bad idea right? - 10/10. I know this one is controversial but I LOVE her more punky songs, I think that's when she's best

vampire - 10/10. I'm not always a fan of piano ballads, but the bridge and outro really make it for me. The hurt turning into anger and despair is just so cathartic. And the video is one of my faves of all time

lacy - 1000/10. What the hell. Did not expect to feel this much emotion from that title. Uhhh... yeah, same. I super relate to that. Whether or not lacy is supposed to be a real person or a manifestation of the beauty standard, this hits. Also, idk if I'm making this up but I dig the romantic undertones, they sell it

ballad of a homeschooled girl - "I made it weird, I made it worse"/10. OLIVIA HOW DID YOU KNOW that I lie awake thinking about all the weird things I did and said, Olivia, did you write this for me specifically??? Every day I am alive IS social suicide. I'm sorry, this is my song, actually. "Can't think of a third line", she's so real

making the bed - "I'm playing the victim so well in my head"/10. How. Does. She. Do. It? I could write an entire essay about this song. Maybe THIS is my song?? She's so good at saying exactly how I feel. I already know that this song will play a million times on my phone. Also I love the drivers license references. Big fan of the making the bed metaphor

logical - 9/10. favourite crime vibes. She's good with these songs about bad relationships. Used to be my favourite thing she did, but now I'm more invested in the songs that are about her/other experiences. That being said this song is really fucking good. This is the Olivia I fell in love with and she's still amazing at doing piano ballads

get him back! - 9/10. Olivia having ANOTHER song with speak-singing where she wants to get back with her ex?? Yes, PLEASE. Bad idea right 2.0. Fucking obsessed

love is embarrassing - 10/10. I said it before I'll say it again, angry Olivia is the best. And she's right, love IS embarrassing as hell

the grudges - 10/10. She does the paino ballads SO WELL. I think this is my favourite one on here. Because, wow, yeah, that is how it is

pretty isn't pretty - i can't rate this/10. GOD, I love it when she talks about insecurities. And don't think I don't see that skipping lunch line. It's sp hard to articulate how this song makes me feel. Especially since I've been low key comparing myself to her, even though we have entirely different bodies and faces. It's nice to know she also struggles with this. And she's right, you could do literally anything to change your appearance and you'd still be unhappy

teenage dream - 100000/10. "Is it recording? Of course it is.", the way I gasped. Okay, I love the interpretation of it ending with a child to be about growing up and childhood innocence. But the line she says?? Especially combined with the meaning of the song it feels a lot like it's about taking away youth by recording it and putting it out there just like she was supposed to be everyone's teenage dream as a child actor and young musician. This feels so personal to her while also being relatable to others. I'm 19 too, Olivia and I are born in the same year. And this is exactly how I feel about growing up. I hope it gets better, my teenage years were crap, I'm tired of being young, but it's also the only thing I can hold onto. I'm honestly terrified of turning 20. But hey, Olivia did it, so... it'll get better, right?

[pyroy3]

Compiling additional proof against Wilbur into one, easy to understand list.

I'm making a simple list that anyone can refer to when faced with doubts about Shelby's and other victims claims. I don't know if this will reach the right audience, or reach anyone at all, but i'd like to get it off my chest.

Why do I care so much? Because i've followed Wilbur since his day on the Jacksucksatlife channel. He had a great influence over me as a teenager, and it sucks that he was an asshole all along. I want to see him fail, that's all.

Main points are all in Shelby, Nikki, Minx and other creators' videos on him. These are just small details that are easily missed.

Wilbur being abusive towards his friends

The first video in particular really highlights the amount of power that Wilbur holds. "Tell them about how awful I am to you" seems like a dangerous thing to say as someone who is actually abusive, but it's likely that he knows he can get away with it. He doesn't expect anyone to call him out on his behaviour.

I think she has also mentioned the biting a few other times. This is pretty obvious proof that the biting was happening, and atleast got to the point of causing bruises.

A clip talking about how Wilbur threw Niki because she playfully said she was big and strong. His quick sentence "you were saying you were stronger than-" could either be him misremembering, deciding to ignore that detail, or literally saying that he interpreted her actions as claiming to be stronger than him. He says it was a "consensual throwing" but we already know how terrible he is with consent. TLDW: Niki said she was big and strong so Wilbur threw her "to assert dominance" (and show that he was stronger than her).

In Tommy's disneyland vlog, there is a short clip where Tommy playfully unties Wilbur's shoelaces and gets his hand stomped on. Thing like these flew under the radar because of their brotherly bond. You'd expect two young brothers to react like this, but not a grown man and his teenage friend. Tommy tells him that his finger got cut, and instead of apologizing, Wilbur says it was because Tommy was gonna untie his shoelaces. He essentially says that Tommy had it coming, that it was his fault he got hurt.

The biting behaviour wasn't exclusive to romantic partners. This is a clip of him biting Tommy's hand "for content", despite Tommy repeatedly shouting no. The biting isn't bad here, but it once again proves that this was something he genuinely did.

The story starts at 0:38. Here, Wilbur tells the story of how he helped Techno pick apples by gently throwing them so Techno could put them in the basket. Techno says that Wilbur is very bad at throwing. In response, Wilbur says that he threw an apple as hard as he could, aiming for his stomach. Instead, he accidentally hit the shoulder that his surgery was on. Anyone who's been hit in the stomach should know how painful it is. If Wilbur were to throw an apple has hard as he could at his stomach, it would seriously hurt. But he laughs it off. Wilbur once again claims that the person he hurt deserved it, because techno made fun of his throwing ability. I've heard that Techno's dad yelled at Wilbur for doing it, but even then, he still laughs about the story.

Wilbur's music and separating it from the artist

It's completely natural for a musician with a history of bad mental health to blame himself in his music. One of Wilbur's biggest inspirations, Crywank, have lots of songs about being a bad person. A symptom of depression is to believe you're a bad person. But as far as we know, Wilbur's music actually told the truth.

I can't find the tweet, but we also know that one of wilburs old friends(?) came out with the info that Lovejoy's song "concrete" was based on their experience, and the song explains Wilbur's neglectful behaviour.

You should know what Lovejoy's music is about. A lot of it is based on toxic relationships, being cheated on, being abused. It is a complete mockery of the people that he hurt. "Call me what you like" is clearly about being in an abusive relationship where his partner takes advantage of him and cheats on him. She forces him to "bump his head into every doorway she sees suitable for them to go through". Not that he knows what the song he wrote is about though, since he couldn't recall a single thing about the song during the genius interview. Yes, he was high, but he may as well had someone ghostwrite it for him.

Singing "you claim your ex-boyfriend's a policeman, I say you need better standards" in the song Perfume is crazy when his standards are allowing abuse to happen.

When listening to Scum, you repeatedly hear him admitting to being scum and waste. Concrete is about how he's a piece of shit. Consequences should remind you of the actual consequences of his actions. I already explained what's wrong with "your sister was right". His parody songs are direct reflections of his real personality.

However, if you still want to listen to him - spotify has a feature where you can put local files into your playlists. If you have his music downloaded, you can listen to it on spotify without giving him money or views. Just saying.

Why he can get away with it

Look at him. He is an attractive white man in the UK, And pretty privilege is a thing, no matter how you look at it. He's popular and has gotten empathy from impressionable teenagers on the internet. A lot of people have put him on a pedestal after he showed support for the LGBT+ community and BLM, singing about being against capitalism. People feel bad for him because of his history with mental health problems. They excuse his actions because he was depressed during his relationships. He also has a pattern of exclusively targeting those weaker than him. Tiny women who he can pin down, throw or bite to show he's stronger than, and teenager Tommy who believed they had a brother dynamic. You will also notice that the only people who have shared their experience with him have been women who didn’t feel strong enough to fight back against him. He is a manipulator through and through.

This is not all the proof there is

If you need more convincing, watch other creator's videos on the subject. Shelby, Niki, Minx, Alicenyannyan. There are also more small things that he has done that add up, either violent behaviour, yelling, or ignoring people's boundaries. You will also This man is undeniably abusive.

Thank you to anyone who got this far, I hope someone will get use out of it. I'm happy to finally get what I wanted to say out there.

[lovsalvatore]

Anything?

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader

Summary: You tell your Maestro that you would do anything to play at her orchestra world tour, you just didn't know about her ulterior motives with you.

Warnings: +18, Minors DNI! smut, nat has a penis, inexperienced reader, blowjob, gagging, cum swallowing, pet names, abuse of authority ig, hair pulling, brief mention of infidelity.

Word count: 4.9k

a/n: thinking of turning this into a series idk ✰ series masterlist, main masterlist

It's the first time in eight months that Natasha has asked you to stay after rehearsals. And deep down you want to believe it's just so you had more time to practice the piano solo you're going to play in a few weeks, but the way she looks at you makes you have other kinds of thoughts.

You have your hands just resting on the piano keys while you wait for her to say something. You played the song she composed over and over again without missing a single note, and yet you believe that something is still bothering her. "Again." she says, looking at the pieces of sheet music in her hands.

"Natasha..." you say in a shy tone, and her gaze turns to your eyes.

"Maestro." she corrects you.

"Yeah, sorry, Maestro." you curse yourself internally for having called her by her first name, knowing that within this auditorium she does not tolerate informalities. But you're so tired, your fingers feel like they're going to fall out of your hands from so many hours playing the instrument, that all you want is to go home, your brain just isn't working properly. "Are you sure you want me to play again? I mean, I think it's already clear that I know this song by heart, I didn't even need the sheets to play it..."

"I know, but I still want you to play one more time." you don't even think about contradict her, even though your fingers are practically numb you're not crazy not to do what she asks. You feel intimidated by her presence, and you know you're not the only one to feel this way around her. Natasha is one of the best known names in the music business for being an amazing composer and conductor, and also for her reputation as a serious, busy, arrogant, and even rude person. But you don't care. Just the fact that you have the opportunity to be part of her orchestra makes all her harsh comments worthwhile. You just want to be like her, a virtuoso pianist. "Am I gonna have to repeat myself?"

You're snapped out of your thoughts and back to reality, realizing that your Maestro is staring at you seriously, just waiting for you to keep playing the piano. And you do. You play the song she composed, already imagining the tears of emotion that will fall down the audience's cheeks a few weeks from now. Your fingers — even weak — wander over the instrument's keys almost as if on automatic, again, you have played this song so many times that you can play it with your eyes closed. And you know she wants perfection, you know she wants to push you off to the extreme just to make sure you're not gonna make any mistake. And you smile internally knowing that you're successfully proving to her that you were the right choice. Any other pianist couldn't be as good as you, humbly speaking of course.

You play and play, the auditorium filled with nothing but the beautiful sounds of the notes being combined. For a moment you think how she manages to create such incredible pieces, you try to imagine how difficult it must be to compose a song. You'd give anything to have that talent, you'd do anything for people to start recognizing you as a famous pianist too. Your dream is to work in this field, even if your parents say that being a musician will only make you poor, you try to ignore them.

"Okay, that's enough." she says, after you've finally finished the piece again. She takes off her glasses, hanging them on the collar of her shirt before starting to walk towards you. You don't know exactly what time it is, but you know it's late enough that your parents must be already wondering why you're taking so long. Yes, you still live with them. "You're really talented, if you keep it up I might even consider taking you on the world tour."

You cannot process everything at once. First, she called you talented, she never, ever spoke any praise towards any of the musicians who play for her before. And second, world tour? Is this really happening? This might be the dream of any musician, to go around the world playing the instrument they love, especially if they're playing that instrument in the orchestra of one of the most famous composers of recent years. "Wait, really?" you try not to sound too excited, but it's evident in your voice how much this news has positively affected you. "Natas- Maestro this is... my god this is like a dream for me."

You see a smile forming at the corner of her lips, but it disappears just as quickly as it comes.

"It's a dream for everyone." she leans on the piano, causing some keys to emit random sounds. She's wearing a dark blue suit today, she always wears suits, yesterday you remember she was wearing a red one. Her fiery hair is normally always tied back in a bun, but this time it's loose, complementing her beauty.Her hand almost touches yours, but then you pull both of your hands into your lap, playing with your fingers. "How old are you again?"

"I-I'm nineteen."

"Nineteen." she repeats, looking you up and down. You try not to feel the tension that builds between you as silence settles in the auditorium, but you also think that this could just be you making things up in your head. Well, she is in fact a really beautiful woman. But you know that being attracted to her would be very inappropriate, so whenever you start thinking about her that way, you end up committing yourself to something else so as not to delve further into that feeling. But sometimes it's not such a bad feeling. Not that you understand much about the whole attraction thing either, you've kissed only one girl in your entire life, never been touched, so this must all be just admiration towards your Maestro. "You must be busy with college then."

"I mean, yes, but I wouldn't miss this opportunity for anything." you say without thinking straight. All you want is to get your degree in music. But the idea of ​​traveling the world doing what you love is just too exciting. You couldn't believe it when she chose you to play the most important part of her symphony this time, during the months you played for her you only played the less important parts. Maybe this is your lucky year, finally your talent can be recognized by other people. "I might just take some time off, get back to my classes after the tour."

"Oh, you're already thinking of alternatives huh?" she says with a chuckle, and you feel your cheeks flush. "I just suggested it, after all you're not the only talented pianist I know."

And all your hopes have just gone down the drain.

"But who knows, it's not something I'm going to discount either. If you play as well as you're playing at the big presentation in a few weeks, you really could be my first choice." you don't quite know what to say, but all you want is not to disappoint her.

You look down at your hands in your lap as silence returns. You wonder how amazing this opportunity would be, how it would make you finally start growing in a career that doesn't even exist yet. At the same time you want to get up and leave, because this annoyance inside you just grows, you don't know what's going on, being alone with her is messing with you and you don't even know why, but you also don't know if she wants you to play one more time or not, so you just sit there in silence.

Natasha on the other hand can't take her eyes off you. From the first time you walked through that auditorium door you caught her eyes, and since then she always managed not to stare at you for too long so as not to make her attraction to you so obvious.

But when she realized that in addition to being beautiful you were also talented, this obsession she had for you only grew, and it became harder and harder for her not to want to have you completely. So in asking you to play the piano solo, she also saw an opportunity to spend more time with her favorite student. She wanted to ask you to stay after rehearsals for weeks now, but you played the song so perfectly that there was no reason to make you stay and practice more. But today, even though you didn't miss any notes, she asked you to stay anyway. And now she won't let you go until she gets what she really wants from you.

You've never looked at her differently, so she knows you don't feel the same way about her. But she doesn't really care either. "You know." she says in her husky, deep voice, making you look up into her green eyes. "There're also other things you can do to get the spot on the world tour."

Your eyes shine when you see your hopes return, and you open a sincere smile. "I would do anything, seriously." you admit without knowing her intentions.

"Anything?" there's a malice in her tone, but you're too naive to notice. She sees a little bit of herself in you — when she was just a teenager who was discovering her passion for music — and that made her feel a connection to you. But you don't know anything about it, you don't know the way she feels about you. For you, it wouldn't make sense for a woman like her to feel the slightest bit of attraction to you.

You stare at her waiting for her to say something, one of her hands starts tapping some random keys on the piano. When her eyes are focused on her act you end up roaming yours quickly over the features of her face, how her red lips call you so much attention. You had thought about kissing her, yes, you thought of her in those ways, but then again, you always threw those thoughts away. You stare at her for so long you think she's noticed, because she looks back at you with arched eyebrows. "There is this thing, that you can do."

"Well... like I said, I'd do anything to get the spot."

She doesn't try to hide her smile this time, and you can't hide your confused expression as she pushes one of your legs to position herself directly in front of you, her body still leaning against the piano. You look up at her, and Natasha bites her bottom lip when she sees your lost puppy eyes. "I think you're really pretty, did you know that?" she brings one hand to your cheek, and you freeze as she starts to caress it. "Bet you have other kinds of talent, don't you?"

"I..." you try so hard to understand what's going on, you don't really know what she wants from you. And noticing all of your confusion only makes Natasha even more euphoric. Her thumb trails across your bottom lip, before slowly sliding inside your mouth. You don't have time to do anything when her finger presses down against your tongue, and you want to not like it all, you really do. This is wrong, but at the same time it feels so right. It is not possible that those doubts you had could be true after all, that in fact she could be attracted to you. It wouldn't make sense, right? It takes you a few seconds to turn your face away from her touch, feeling your cheek slightly wet when her thumb briefly brushes over it. "Maestro... this is... this is inappropriate."

"What?" she asks innocently. "I did nothing."

"You just..." you stare at her in disbelief, and you just don't know what to say to her. You want to get up, walk away and try to ignore this interaction you just had. But something inside you just makes you not move, it really feels like your body is glued to the seat. "I... I must go... it's late."

"It is not." she says, you know she's lying. It must be past ten o'clock, and you still have to take the subway home. But it seems like she doesn't care, and neither do you. "Come on... are you gonna tell me you don't want this?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." you play dumb, even now you already have some ideas of what her second intentions might be about. And you're enjoying it, fuck, you really are. You shouldn't, you want to not think of her having you the way she wants to, but the thought of that being wrong seems even more exciting. If you had known that she was also attracted to you, you would probably work up the courage to have done something during all these months that you've been her learner.

"That you don't want me." she slightly tilts her body, making your faces very close to each other. You don't take your eyes off hers, you can see her dilated pupils. "I thought you would do anything to get what you wanted."

"That's not what I meant."

"And what would that be exactly?" her eyes go to your lips, and you end up imitating her act. Her lips so close to yours seem even more kissable. If you just tilt her face forward a little -.

"I know what you want from me... and this... this is wrong, I would do anything but not that kind of thing."

You don't even know if you're really telling the truth right now. You know you want her the same way she wants you, not minding giving up your body in exchange for a favor.

"But I didn't even say anything, you're the one jumping to conclusions here detka." you close your eyes as she starts kissing the pulse point on your neck, lightly sucking your skin, but not enough to leave marks. You despise the fact that this is turning you on, you know she's just taking advantage of you, and you're letting her. "Let's just say this is the easiest way to get you on the world tour." she whispers. "Don't you want this? Don't you want the easy way?"

"I don't know." you say sincerely, whimpering as she turns her attention to the other side of your neck. "This is wrong, we shouldn't, we... Natasha... please..."

You bite your bottom lip hard to prevent a moan from escaping your lips as she lightly bites your neck. You feel the heat between your legs, and you think how deplorable your situation is right now. "Do you want me to stop?" she asks, tucking one of your locks behind your ear. "I can stop, but I don't think that's what you want, right?"

When you shake your head from side to side something inside Natasha changes completely. The thought of you not feeling attracted to her completely evaporates, and knowing that you want her the same way she wants you makes pure ecstasy control her senses. "Fuck..."she lowers her face to your neck again, this time sucking hard. Her tongue roams up your neck, making a tortuous trail to your earlobe. Her breathing is labored, and you get goosebumps as you realize what's about to happen.

She takes one of your hands, leading it to where she'd been wanting this whole time. You can't hide a gasp when she presses your palm against the hard bulge in her pants, and you can certainly feel how big it is. "See what you do to me? Gosh... I have to control myself so much not to be like that in front of your colleagues."

You feel ashamed for doing this, but now there's no turning back. Even if you don't have any experience you want to continue. You want to show her how good you can be at other things, you have so much admiration for her that you would let her do anything to you. Your eyes are closed as she kisses your jaw, and you wonder if she'll kiss your lips but she just pulls back slightly to unzip her pants. "Can you show me how talented you can be at other things, hm?" she asks in a gentle tone, it's like she took the words out of your thoughts. One of her hands on the back of your neck, pulling some of your baby hairs.

"I uhm..." you clear your throat, and nearly choke when she pulls her hard cock out of her boxers. She strokes it slowly in front of you, and you wonder if you'll even be able to take it. It's thick, and if you pay close attention you can even see the visible veins running through it. "I-I've never done anything... I... I'm inexperienced."

You don't know it, but by saying that you made a big mistake. Natasha knowing she's going to be your first just makes it easy for her to do whatever she wants, and she knows you won't have the courage to say no.

"It's okay, I know you're a quick learner." she guides your hand to stroke her, and reluctantly you do. You see some of her pre-cum in her tip, and feel how she gets harder with every move of yours. You have to squeeze your thighs together to relieve some of the sensation in your sex, while your hand goes up and down her shaft. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for this, really... you don't know how many times I touched myself thinking about you."

You don't pay much attention to her revelation, all you can do is focus on your hand movements, which gets faster with each stroke. You don't even know if you're doing it right, but listening to Natasha groan makes you think that in fact you are. You never imagined that you would want to have a cock inside you, but at this very moment all you wanted was this. "Hm, just like that." she murmurs, throwing her head back as you press your thumb over her head, trying to spread some of her juices over the thick length of her cock. Your heart races when you remember that someone could walk into the auditorium at any moment and see this scene of you and your Maestro, and that makes you want to go on even more. "Oh baby... I need more of you."

You look up, feeling her grip the back of your neck, propelling your face forward. "Take it slow hm?" when your mouth touch her tip Natasha gasps in anticipation, and not wanting to take too long to make her feel good you part your lips. You start by placing a kiss on the tip of her cock, before slowly circling the end of it with your tongue. Because it's your first time giving someone a blowjob, you try to imagine it's a lollipop, it shouldn't be that hard. You gently suck on her head, closing your eyes when you can taste her on your tongue. "Looks like someone has no time to waste." Natasha smiles, both of her hands holding the hair on top of your head so it doesn't get in the way.

You just keep working your mouth around the tip of it, it's thick and long, you don't know if you can take any more than that. But for Natasha it's not enough. She wants more, she wants all of it. You're taken aback by her rough movement bringing her hips forward, forcing you to take all of her at once, without any warning. You immediately feel the pain in the back of your throat as she pulls the cock out of your mouth just as quickly as she thrusts it in. The sudden invasion makes your body freeze for a second, realizing that she's just here to use you however she wants. And you actually look forward to it.

"Aww sorry, I couldn't help myself kitty. I just want to fuck your mouth until you beg me to stop." tears form in the corner of your eyes as you get used to your now empty mouth, your hand that was previously on her length now massaging your throat in search of relief. "It's alright, I'll be gentle this time okay?"

Even though you don't believe her words, you just nod, watching her guide you back to her cock. When she enters your mouth again you expect her to start thrusting hard, but she slowly moves her hips forward so that only half of her fills your mouth. "Oh fuck, you feel so warm. Go ahead, help me out a bit with this detka, I know you can do it." you rest both your hands on her thighs for balance as your head begins to move back and forth, going as far as you can, which you now learn is not just the tip. The heat inside you only grows, as do the obscene noises of your mouth around her cock. "See? I knew you were a quick learner. I bet it won't take long for you to take all my cock in that little mouth of yours."

Your Maestro's dirty words make you feel your wetness grow, and it won't be long before you start making a mess in your own underwear. You look up seductively as you take half of her inside your mouth, even with a little labored breathing you still manage to hold on, and actually wait for her to start going deeper. "Who knew you could be such a talented little slut huh?" she pulls your hair hard, causing a pleasurable pain in your scalp that just doesn't help you think straight. "Want me to fuck your mouth? Want me to treat you like the good and talented slut you are?"

You pull your head back, letting go of her cock with one last suck on the head before saying. "Yes please." Natasha wants to laugh when she realizes how easy it was to make you totally surrendered to her.

"Oh yeah?" you nod frantically, just wanting to give her what she wants right away knowing that in the end you will be reworded. "Fuck... I'm gonna come so hard down your throat and you're gonna swallow all of it, I don't want a drop spilling out, understand?"

"Y-yes."

"Tongue out baby." you do what she asks right away. Natasha grabs her cock, bringing it to your tongue, which she grinds a few times before starting to slide all of it inside you. She holds your head still as her hips move all the way forward, and you gag when you feel the tip of it in the deepest part of your throat. She stays still for a few seconds, as if she's letting you get used to the size before she starts moving, and unlike before she doesn't wait to start fucking your mouth hard.

You try to push her away in an automatic act realizing that this was much harder than you imagined, but Natasha just ignores it and keeps pushing her cock deeper and deeper into your throat. "Oh your mouth feels so good around my cock, I bet you're soaking wet for me aren't you?." you feel like you're on cloud nine, trying to catch your breath with every thrust. Her cock is so thick that you can even feel it sliding around the corners of your lips, slightly widening them as you try to take it all in. "Can't wait to stretch out that tight pussy of yours, fuck you so hard you'll forget your own name."

She doesn't even have to do what she just said to make you forget your own name. Just the thought of having her inside you makes you forget how your brain even works. The place that was previously being filled by the sound of the piano is now flooded by the noises of your gags, tears running down your cheeks wetting your entire face along with your drool that runs down your chin. "I'm so close... keep taking it... just like the good learner you are." you don't even try to escape her merciless thrusts anymore, you just let her fuck your mouth.

She’s not gentle, not caring at all. She just wants to fuck your mouth mercilessly, see you cry and choke yourself around her dick. “You’re taking so well, are you sure this is your first time?” she asks a little surprised that you aren't complaining so much, even the tears on your cheeks proving the opposite, even the noise of your gags making it clear that it's not being easy for you. “Enjoying this aren't you little slut? Fucking your way up to the top.”

When you listen to her remind you why you are doing this, a little guilt takes over your body, not because it’s an unethical act, but because you don’t regret it.

Even though it's one of the most uncomfortable sensations you've ever felt, you still feel turned on by it. The way she uses your mouth as if you were just a doll to her. How you proved that even though it was your first time doing something like this you still managed to make her feel good. This shit really makes you soak, making you want more.

Your eyes squeeze shut as you start to feel a few drops of her cum land on your tongue, and for a moment you're relieved that it's almost over, because even though you're loving the feeling, it's also too big for you to hold on for too long. "Yeah... fuck that's it... down to the last drop don't forget." Natasha continues to fuck your mouth for some time, and you manage not to focus on the pain she causes you by pulling your hair hard as her warm loads spurt into your mouth. You choke when she comes in the back of your throat, but even though you have a hard time, she stays inside you, forcing you to do nothing but swallow every last drop. The taste of her burns down your throat, which is so sensitive it looks like she fucked it for hours "Uhum... that's it...fuck you did so well."

When she doesn't get her cock outside your mouth you start pushing her by her thighs, but she just presses your head against her even more. Your nose touches her lower stomach as you feel her cock pulsing inside your mouth, the tip of it making it hard for you to breathe. "It feels so good inside your mouth detka, it makes me want to start fucking you again." she says, and you fall into despair, knowing you won't make it one more time. Natasha lets out a dry laugh as she sees in your eyes the fear of her actually putting you through that again, and then in one swift act she finally pulls her hips back, taking out her entire length out of you. You automatically choke in your own saliva, coughing a few times to get used to the feeling of finally having your mouth empty. Your jaw hurt from keeping your mouth open so long while she fucked you, and your eyes are blurred with tears.

The Maestro just stares at you with her still hungry eyes, not believing that she really got what she wanted without having any difficulty. She didn't know you would give in so easily, she thought it would take you a while to accept it, but apparently she was very wrong. And she'll definitely use that to her advantage, knowing you're so easy to have, she won’t leave it to just one time thing, she wants more.

You watch as Natasha tucks her dick back inside her boxers before zipping up her pants, at the same time you run your hand over your face to wipe away some of the drool. You made such a mess, you can even feel some of your spit trickling down between your breasts. You want to ask her if she's really gonna give you the spot on the world tour, but you're completely oblivious — still trying to process the fact that you've just given your Maestro a blowjob — which makes it too hard for you to formulate a complete sentence. "Don't think I won't do what I said." she says, again sounding like she reads your thoughts. "I said this was the easiest way, I wasn't lying."

You want to scream, from happiness of course. You smile at her, licking your lips and getting a little taste of her that's still fixated on you. Natasha puts her glasses back on her face, pulling away from the piano and closing the fallboard to protect the keys.

"But I didn't say how many times you would have to do it to actually get the spot." she brings one hand up to your cheek, stroking your skin so gently it doesn't even feel like she was shoving her cock so hard down your throat. "I've wanted you for so long, once is not enough for me. You're gonna have to prove that you really deserve this spot... with this... I want you to stay after rehearsal tomorrow again."

With that said, she simply turns and walks away. Completely fulfilled knowing that you're going to come back here tomorrow, and give it to her again for as long as she wants it. You sit immobile on the piano bench, wondering if this was all a good idea. You thought it would only be one time, you didn't know anything about your Maestro's secret obsession with you. And as much as you liked it, you're starting to think that even though this was the easy way, maybe this wasn't the choice you should have made. God. She's old enough to be your mother, and for as long as you know, she's married. My God. What did you do.

She's using you, you know that. You know it's easy for her to have you because you're young and naive. And yet you let her take advantage of you. And you hate the fact that you deep down want that to happen again. Because you loved the attention she gave just to you, you loved realizing that you can make her feel that good. But you hated it, you really hated it because you can't wait for her to ruin you again.

[nouvxllev]

Hi loved your recent Jenna fic

I have a request where reader confesses their feelings to Jenna after a long friendship (you can figure out how long and that friendship if you want) and Jenna doesn’t really react and unfortunately something or someone interrupts them that forces them to push that topic aside or something then Jenna like shuts down because she goes over reader’s confession over and over because how did she not see it that what she felt towards reader was exactly the same thing which leads her to think over having a relationship with reader and how it’ll work or how it won’t work I’m rambling at this point so you can just take over from here if you want

Just something along those lines idk if that made sense you can ignore this if it doesn’t ha😅

so this is love?

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Gn!Reader

Summary: request!! ^^

Words: 4.7k (damn i expected it was gonna be more than 5k)

Warnings: a long fucking love confession!!! you'd think to yourself how did they even say that in one breath, jenna being the oblivious little shit, r and j.o is horrendously inlove w eachother its fuckng insane, kind of bittersweet kind of just sweet, several 7 husbands of evelyn hugo references, im yapping too much about love here

a/n: first of all, thank you so so much!! and hope you'll like this one anon, thank you for the idea!

masterlist.

"Y/n, I'm thinking about changing this scene. Just a slight bit, nothing too over the top. What'd you think?"

"Yeah? Oh, yeah. Definitely."

"But it's such a late change—fuck, I should've told Tim a little earlier. You think he's gonna get frustrated? Then again, he's a sweet guy, I don't think he will."

"Jenna. Jenna, I like you. So fucking much. It's spontaneous, a little on the weird side that I'm telling you this now in your Wednesday Addams get up with a script on your hands asking me if your idea is good or not, even if it is—everything you do is amazing—but I'm in love with you for little over a year now and it's tearing me apart so please just reject me so I can move on."

"Yeah, yeah I like the idea too but—what?"

"I like you. Jenna."

. . .

Here's the thing:

You give a poet paper, they will embellish it with their words. People will mourn over their unfortunately late mortal soul enclosed with a tomb that carries their quill and ink.

You give a painter a blank canvas with nothing but their own mind, they will create a sensation, a masterpiece, a tour de force. People will gaze upon it in awe, so valuable they will waste a fortune.

You give a musician a silent room, an auditorium with nothing but a few instruments and tarnished worksheets. They will make out of it, they will fill the room with melodies that no one would hear, yet the very vibrations would resonate with the walls.

But if someone gives out their heart to you, they will pour it all over you. They will reprogram their own organ so that it beats solely for you. They will rip it out of their chest in bleeding agony and give it to you with no price more than their own faith.

You are given no options other than cherish it, treasure it, be thankful someone admires you as such they will do anything and everything for a piece of your attention, maybe even reciprocation.

You are also given the option to trample on it, break it, shatter it into minuscule pieces that have no intention in restoring to it's formal use. Let it be nothing but a bullet to their own decision, to their own emotion, to their own choice to love you.

Jenna was given those options. None other from her friend since the day she became an actress at a young age, a childhood friend even. What now?

. . .

"...What?"

The brunette responded, murmured even, like she was out of breath. The corner of her lips forced themselves to tug into an awkward smile.

What else are you going to respond with if you're stuck in a situation where your friend of a decade, nearly how long Jenna has been in this fucking industry, tells you that they're in love with you?

You shook your head, noticing how Jenna's gaze flicker to your fidgeting hands. "I like you, Jenna. Like, like you. I love you—no, that's crossing the line. But I just... like you, Jenna. Don't you get it?"

Jenna blinked. So much for being in character. She scoffed, albeit playful, running her fingers through Wednesday's fringe, "Yeah. I like you too. We are friends. Best of friends."

You shook your head once more, slowly taking a step forward towards Jenna like you were cautious. "No, Jenna, I—" you sighed, "I like you. Romantically. Like I'm willing to be in a relationship with you like way."

Oh.

Jenna swallowed the ever growing lump in her throat, feeling her eyebrows crease yet a smile was still present on her face. Her lips parted, threatening to say anything that just comes to her mind at this point. "You… you're serious?" Her voice wavered.

"Very. Dead serious." You nodded, gulping in your own words like you were trying to swallow them whole.

"I don't want our friendship to die out because of this, I wished I should've stopped my mouth from rambling all this to you so spontaneously but I—I should've done it more romantically than this setting. I've been in love with you my whole life, I've loved you for as long as I can remember even if I lose my memories. I'm not a romantic soul, I'm more far from it, and I'll never find the words even if I'm given a lifetime to describe how much I love you. I'm… I'm not saying all of this so you could reciprocate what I feel, it's just that I'll be lying to myself everytime I breath if I don't tell you this. You're my colleague, my co-star, my friend, my childhood, my everything ever since we met on that set of that god-awful ad that I cannot for the life of me watch again. I noticed that I talk to you almost everyday, how I adapted to your weird fucking horror movies that I absolutely somehow love, how I—I bought a stupid vinyl because you liked the artist, how I started listening to your music taste, how I started writing poems, how you always manage to sneak up in my conversations with others. You don't have to even be there, and yet, you linger in my words. I would surrender everything I worked for just for you, I would do anything, sacrifice my time and all. You've been all of those and more, and it's shocking that I'm only saying this now, after five years of loving you, half of the time we've known each other."

Jenna was silent, her lips parting as if to speak, but her mind held her back. But her heart did everything to speak, yet it never came.

She was lost, unsure, afraid. She didn't understand, and she fears that you know she doesn't. She never will unless time so happens to be on her side. Breathing was the only option, and breathing out was her only relief that she was alive.

She looked at you, and you looked at her back. No words exchanged. Your hands are now fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, pulling the loose strings apart as you catch your breath.

Jenna could grab your hand, apologize, and reject you. She could throw everything you both had built and walk away, leaving you behind to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart.

Maybe that both of you will go to separate paths after filming was over. Maybe you'd tear away the contract that stated that in all your shows, Jenna should be there.

But the thought pained her.

It's painful, it's torture, it's agony, it's suffering to live in that universe where you weren't the one Jenna calls when it's a rainy day. The universe where Jenna stays awake, mellowing in her own woe, not knowing who to turn to, who to call at the dead of night. The universe where every poem on her phone, on her paper, on her notes, on every surface she had the ability to write on, wasn't meant for you.

Do you refer to that as love?

"Y/n, I... I just need some—"

"Y/n! There you are."

Shit.

Tim cut Jenna off, approaching the both of them, but more primarily you.

"Y/n, makeup team, and Jenna, your scene."

It all took Tim nothing but to speak seven words for the both of them to pry their eyes off eachother and remind themselves it was a professional setting. With professional actors and professional feelings. Nothing personal, is what Tim would say.

Jenna was an actor. You were an actor, her co-star.

That just so happens to be in love with her.

You nodded as you looked right at Tim, your gaze leaving Jenna for the first time.

Jenna was desperate to hold your hand, take a firm grip of your wrist and to tell you to 'stay' or 'don't go' like what they do at cheesy romance movies where the guy gets the girl.

But it wasn't. Jenna would've loved you if it were a movie.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The question still arises on set. Dressed up as Wednesday, cameras rolling, her mind wandering nowhere near the scene but your trailer.

What do you do when a friend confesses their love to you?

A friend who's been a familiar presence in Jenna's life, a friend who's been there since Jenna learned her heart yearned for others, how it beats for other people.

Someone through every moment of self-doubt, they saved her when she couldn't save herself. Through struggles that Jenna considered could be something to gash her mending heart, but they would offer a piece of theres in exchange for happiness in her.

A friend she loves.

It's a simple. You fold your heart in half, maybe even in fourths, then tuck it away in the deepest depths of your pocket. You might stamp it, decorate it, perhaps even address it to none other than your soulmate.

What do you do if you don’t know your soulmate?

You look for them. Jenna never looked for love outside of her family or friends; her heart was content with the familiar comfort of their love. Those were the types of love she knew. She had never felt the need to pursue romance.

Probably because everyone sees some others as they want them to be in their own head. They fall in love with the idea of them, the person they want them to be. An idealized version only they see fit to their desires, a false projection.

Most people would call her beautiful or pretty. She would pass the street and people would look at her, stare at her, look at her up and down, maybe even subtly lick their lips. They look up at her like she’s a force they cannot compete with, like she wasn’t human. Not amongst them. They will compliment her base on her appearance, and in rare cases, on how talented she is.

But someone would call her glorious, like Greece, and grandeur like Rome. Someone would call her lovely, not in a way everyone calls her, but someone would look up at her with eyes that feel like they’re borrowing, harnessing even, the energy of a thousand suns to even look at her. Like she was a garden. But yet, they would also look at her like she was an old friend. An old soul, the soul that could melt yours but still be so comforting.

And it was you.

Most people would look at her and smile. Say hi, wave a greeting, a handshake if it was really needed.

But you look at her as if you were seeing something more, as if Jenna had never seen a person more in awe that you when you look at her. Like how the sun would be nothing without her, how you'll spend your whole life loving her and nothing more, how you look at her and she feels though as if she has never been admired in her whole life. If she was someone intolerable, someone unbearable, suffering to a degree you'd rather die, and you would. But only if it were in her arms.

Most people would describe her as someone talented, art, hot, stunning, sexy. Like she was nothing but a piece of imagination to someone, like her good traits were the only characteristics that made her Jenna Ortega.

But you would turn all of those down. You would say, no, in the face of the interviewer. You would say that she was the renaissance reincarnated as a single human, that was beauty in everything imperfect, she was the art that would put the Sistine Chapel to shame, the sculpture that would have Michelangelo resurrecting from the dead only to lie back of how undoubtedly perfect and impossible to replicate the pure astonishing beauty that was her.

You were an old friend of Jenna, the two of you were ever since Jenna played young Jane in Jane the virgin at twelve years old and you had approached her as an extra to be her somewhat, co-star-in-the-future-friend.

And now, she's only imagining what would've happened if you hadn't been the big ball of sunshine that you always were up until now.

There were times that you would make her laugh, putting up a half-assed comedy show whenever she's in a bad mood, but then you'll give her space if she doesn't budge. Times where you would hold her close in your arms whenever she's on the verge of tears, and times where you hold her close to you whenever she achieved something.

There were times she wasn't proud of herself, how self-doubt creeped into her mind and slowly started to deteriorate her soul, yet you were there. You called her brilliant, a genius, someone show-stopping people from all around the world would be shocked how amazing she was and a few other words that she kept close to her heart.

There were times where Jenna calls you, telling you how filming was all too stressful and she needs a break. Then you're with her the next day, surprisingly becoming an extra or maybe a new side character to her films.

You were always saying how you would protect her at the age of twelve, and she'd always respond with "how?" with a laugh, then you'd respond with a simple shrug saying, "I'd love you."

Jenna didn't understand it at first and yet you understood her in such a short amount of time. How you knew why she always has her headphones on, how you wrote down and knew at the top of a hat what she likes and what she hates, how your laugh sounded at her most darkest of jokes, how you would bring back snacks whenever you're on a run, how you would always say 'i love you' in times where she's breaking down.

And up until now, she never understood why you would protect her with your love.

Jenna was your friend but you treated her like she was your everything.

And up until now, she realized that she loved you back.

And up until now, she realized how could she even dare to live without giving you the same love as you did to her?

People tell you that relationships are easy, that they're lovely, that they tell you that love is the only thing that keeps the both of them going.

But they don't tell you the rest.

They don't tell the pain you want to go through all for your significant other. The nights you want them to be in your arms but you've gone through yet another foolish argument that created a hole in your heart that seem to never mend, but it will.

It made sense that Jenna never wanted to be in a relationship, it was scary. The answer to a question as such was always going to be no. How there was always someone going to be hurt or inflict hurt.

But it never made sense that Jenna would experience pain with no presence of mercy to be with you.

Everyone talks about falling out of love, but that's bullshit. If you fall out of love, then there must be a reason you should've never fell from them in the first place. It's something Jenna never understood why falling out of love was never a thing if love prospered and it was for all eternity.

But the thought of being in a relationship with you, and having to watch you fall out of love with her is terrifying.

The two of you would work because the both of you are long friends, childhood friends. Yet, it won't. Because the two of you were friends. What would happen if Jenna let you in the most deepest parts of her heart? What would happen if you did? Would you get turned off? Would she get turned off? She wouldn't. You wouldn't

If no one had stopped Jenna in the midst of her performance as Wednesday, she wouldn't notice she was messing up her lines. She wouldn't have noticed that she was crying.

But she did notice that one familiar scent you always carried around you; that one perfume mixed with the shampoo you used everyday. Jenna was around you her whole life and she never got tired of it. It could be the smell of her home, like that one familiar scent at your childhood home.

It wasn't long before she felt a pair of two hands grabbing her shoulders, tugging her gently, and it wasn't long before she felt herself walking with them.

The voices were drowned out, muffled, she can hear someone saying to "let her take a break until she's feeling better. Emma, your scene."

"Jenna?"

"Jenna, please, talk to me, why are you crying?"

"Shit—Jenna? Jenna, it's alright, I'm—Well, I shouldn't probably be here."

She knew that voice. How could she forget them?

It wasn't fair that Jenna's heart skipped a beat once she heard your pitch, like you were worried or concerned. She recognized it all too well that it brought a sense of comfort in her soul.

"Y/n?" She whispered, noticing how you brought her into your trailer and sat her down. "Shit. Fuck, I'm supposed to be on set. Y/n, why am I—"

"Jenna. Jenna, hey, look at me," you grabbed her hands, your touch a bit too warm as you held hers tightly, but it never failed to give her peace. "I'm sorry, I know I'm not the one who should be doing this since you know, the whole shit that happened an hour ago."

Jenna looked down at your hands, your thumb slowly caressing the back of her palm, a silent permission. A permission she would always grant with open arms. Or maybe hands in this case.

You nodded, fixing yourself up on the couch as you look at Jenna. "We're gonna take deep breaths, alright? I'll be here, don't worry." You squeezed her hand in reassurance.

"No, y/n, I—I need to tell you something, please—"

"Jenna." You sighed, noticing how it wasn't out of annoyance but out of concern. "Your voice is cracking, you're stuttering, you're in a higher pitch than you are normally. And more importantly, you have tears in your eyes." You would sooner or later interlock your fingers with Jenna's offering another reassuring squeeze. "I'll protect you. You're safe with me, don't worry, please, Jenna."

Oh.

. . .

You know, people think sex is intimacy, the highest form of intimacy there is. 

But they're wrong.

It’s being able to realize something heartbreaking, something that cuts you deep in your soul to the point where no amount of bandages will help. But somehow, someway, someone so special could heal it with their words.

It’s where you can be vulnerable with someone, be happy, be sad, be angry, be every emotion you’re afraid surrendering to. They will wrap their arms around you and whisper to you that they’re there for you. You’re safe with them.

It’s when you realize that heaven couldn’t be real if it isn’t with them. 

It's when you realize that everyone got it wrong in perceiving them, noticing how you're the only one who truly understands them.

It’s when you realize every living and late poet was wrong in their writings, in their words, in their books. Love wasn’t an emotion, it wasn’t a choice. It was someone. Someone special.

It’s when you realize if ever you’ve completely turned the whole world against you, the time where you’ve devastated everyone in turn for your own selfish needs. Yet you will find yourself standing in front of them. Realizing you’ve spared them from your wrath.

You expect them to hurt you. To break you, to do everything within and over their power to make you experience the same pain you’ve inflicted.

Yet they will show no betrayal.

They will simply show understanding, awe even. Love. They will catch if you if you fall from the top you’ve tore and exhausted yourself. They will sing to you if you feel every melody has nothing. They will do everything, they will accept you, not only because of you, but because of what you carry, what you’re pretending not to be.

Love was never easy, Jenna knew that. You don’t listen to Pat Benatar or The Cascades to not know what true love does to someone; It will shatter you, then mend your now fragile heart like its nothing. It will let you experience grief, then peace. It will let you feel nothing, then everything. It’s not simple, never is. It’s complicated, it’s fucked up. It’s terrifying. So fucking terrifying. 

But if Jenna was going to experience everything she’s thinking of right now; Agonizing heartache that feels like mercy isn’t even an option, and peace she had never felt before, it was going to be with you.

. . .

"Jenna? Jenna are you—"

She had never really truly felt luxury in a while until she let her trembling hands reach up to cup your cheeks, stealing one glance away from your eyes before closing her own and softly pressing her lips against yours. 

What do you say to a friend you realized you’ve fallen in love with now?

Maybe you’d kiss them, like what Jenna is doing now. Let yourself bring peace in your world that is full of unjust morals—let them be a light, be something that felt half as right as loving the taste of their lips on yours.

Maybe you'd let them into your world. Remind them of how they're the only ones in this life were worth devoting your entire life to, how being in their presence was an experience of a life time.

Maybe you'd let them care about your entire being. Let yourself be vulnerable, be free within their arms. Let them tell you that they're going no where but to where you're headed, that peace only belongs to a place where you're present.

Maybe you’d tell them how you like the way they look at their belongings like it was their favorite part of the day? Tell them how they make you feel that everything is possible, how you knew that you’ll be living as much as they would be smiling.

Or maybe, Jenna would say this,

"Y/n," she broke off the kiss, her hands returning to her lap and intertwining with yours. "I'm sorry. I couldn't give a proper reaction to your confession earlier. It was so stupid of me I—"

You laughed. Fuck, your laugh was beautiful.

"Don't worry, Jenna. You don't really feel the same way as I do, and that's fine. I just—I just hope it won't ruin our friendship, you know?"

Jenna scoffed, eyebrows creasing, "No, y/n, give me time to talk, please." She laughed, then took a deep breath.

"I love you, y/n. I never really realized that, I mistook them for something lesser. Mostly because love wasn’t the right term to describe it. Love is simple, fast, overused, something tossed around so carelessly that it couldn't be something I'd say to you; you don’t deserve such a weak word that has no meaning but tarnished from other people. It’s not complex, like how you’re represented in my soul, how you grown ivy around my heart as if I’m trapped in your unbearable love, yet why do I accept such an idea that is only a metaphor that I wish it were true? It's clear that no one knows me greater than you have. It happens more often than not that people will see right through me, only to find a barricade of walls that reflects repressed emotions that keep them from entering. But you tell a different story, different words that people don’t use to tear at my heart. You whisper something so precious that I wish to hear again but I shouldn't before I fall. You unravel my soul with a gentleness that defies everything, that makes me wonder where pure tenderness comes from if it isn't from you. I've known you for long enough to know what the sound of your voice is in, whether your anxious or joyful, how your voice is the sole reason why I sleep without your arms wrapped around my body. I want nothing but to hold you in my arms, to lie beside you in nothing but eternal slumber then rise again if you are ever disturbed. I want to fear nothing, to be afraid of nothing, to have death be a mere word unless your name is next towards it. My name is always associated with me being an actress, a talented one, someone who would no longer be a name hidden in the dust but someone who would rise to the top. A glamorous world is what they would tell me, everything I would want is granted. But why aren't you there in the vision they see? The lover that I yearn for, a home that would finally bring me peace, the home that I wouldn't escape from with bare melodies that lay emotions that I couldn't voice. I just—Fuck, I love you, y/n. Through a decade we've been together, it's only now that I realize that life without you is simply a life worth killing myself to. Death shouldn't be an option when you're around me, it should be something we'll defy, an afterlife that would fail in making us part ways from eachother. I love you. Really. I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to say or do, but I love you. I've realized that."

The silence was unbearable, only now did she realize she blurted out a confession only those who're dead can say in a sentence without stuttering.

"No, no Jenna…" You pushed her hands away from yours, the action stinging her own hands as you stepped back, putting unfamiliar distance between the two of you.

"Y/n, what?" She scoffed, her voice betraying her of a flat tone, "What do you mean, I thought—" Jenna immediately reached out for your arm, her words were faltering, her fingers now trembling as they threatened to brush against your skin.

She was expecting to get yelled at to leave, to never show her face to yours ever again. But as she looked into your eyes, she was met with tears that dared to glisten your gaze. "Are you… are you crying?"

You chuckled, "You know… You know I can't compete with that confession, Jenna. It's unfair to those who don't have a habit of staying up late and writing poems." You brought your hands up to your eyes and wiping away the tears that fell on your cheek, only to be replaced by warm ones.

Jenna cupped your face, her thumb caressing the gentle touch and warmth of your skin, feeling how you leaned into her touch almost immediately. "Oh, you're awful. You had me worrying that I said something wrong or you changed your mind."

"Oh, no, never." You laughed it away, shrugging the tears that continue to stain your face. Then, without a word, you reached up to cradle her own face in your hands, letting her place them down on your lap and close the remaining distance of the two of you that were seated far too apart from eachother.

"I never really thought that you'd say yes. Or say something too poetic." You whispered to her, daring yourself to not drown in her pool of brown eyes that threatened to kill you if you looked too closely.

"I never really thought that I would truly love someone, and look at that turned out."

"Like what?"

"Like I never wanted to love someone more than I loved everything." She tilted her head, leaning forward and closing the distance between your lips and hers. A soft but gentle press to your own, yet it was fervent.

She pulled away, only so slightly that your lips never touched eachother again before they fall into the same predicament as addiction. But close that she could feel your heartbeat, your warm breath against hers, everything that made you you.

"So, this is love?" She whispered.

"Dangerously attractive in a form of a human?" You smirked, winking even, before Jenna rolled her eyes.

She scoffed, "I was going to take you out to dinner, but you are awful at charming someone."

"Take me out to dinner and I'll never make that statement again."

"Deal. I'd splurge a shit ton of money for you not to repeat it ever again."

"You pain me. I love you."

"I love you too."

And then she kissed you, holding you tight as if reminding you're more than just a friend.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: i'm in a desperate need of a girlfriend. also in the span of my 1 week break ive written only 2 stories. its such a low number damn 😭😭😭 (+ then he kissed by by the crystals reference at the end!)

[derangedanomaly]

if it's ok can you do both the bad sanses and star sanses and epic and cross with an S/O who is a musician. Like they can sing and play guitar, keyboard, ect and performs at clubs

This was a little difficult (since there's so many characters), but it was fun. ^^ (I also didn't do Epic and Cross, since it was too much for me, sorry for that. Maybe I'll do them in a different post, if you still want them?)

Masterlist

SANS AUS X MUSICIAN READER

(Nightmare, Killer, Dust, Horror, Error, Dream, Swap, Ink)

Nightmare:

Nightmare's gonna be so surprised by your skills when it comes to playing so many instruments. He can actually play on a piano, so he will want to play together with you at some point, after he gets more comfortable around you.

He definitely doesn't think you'll be of good use when it comes to combat, but... He WILL want to stick around while you're playing any instrument, all while doing his paperwork.

Nightmare definitely appreciates when a great talent is put to a good use, so he'll arrange a night that happens once every week, where everyone in the castle relaxes, while attending to your little show.

Damn, you feel like quite a celebrity in Nightmare's castle.

Anyways, Nightmare respects you for having such talent, but probably won't respect you outside of that. He's just like that. 😐

It's like he has two different personalities that are switching depending on the situation. If it's a situation where you're performing: "I must say, Y/n, that was an exquisite performance that you played there. I can't wait to listen to it again, when we'll have the chance." But if it's in battle... "YOU DUMB FUCKING BITCH, STOP STANDING THERE BEING SO USELESS!!!" Then you two argue. 💀

He will soften up to you when the time comes, but you know... His shell is tough to crack.

Killer:

BRO'S LIKE -> :O

He gets so hyper after knowing that you can play so many instruments. He's gonna tell you every flirting pun revolving around music known to man. He literally won't stop coming up with new puns, it's a special skill of his at this point..

He literally won't leave you alone while you're preparing to train playing on another instrument. He's such a menace... he just wants to bother you 😂

Doesn't like how Nightmare treats you just because you're "useless" in combat. So he'll try to help you out in that department. He'll tell you some shit like "you could really rip someone's head off with this guitar" 💀 it's the thought that counts.

Wrote a music sheet for you once. It was just scribbles, that he thought you would understand 💀 but after you'd told him that no, you do not understand, he would try to recreate the sounds he meant for you to play, with his own voice...

"Ok, it goes like this! Meew mew pew bom boom! Got it?" You do not understand. 💀

Dust:

You'd think that being the smartest, he'd know a thing or two about musical instruments, but the truth is...he knows NOTHING about that. So having someone so skilled and knowledgeable like you, got him super excited!

He loves learning about new things, so prepare to be bombarded with lots of questions.

After you answer any of his questions and after a countless times of him watching/listening you play... He official wants to learn to play on an instrument! I mean, he once knew how to play the trombone! But it was long since those days, and he completely forgot everything about it, and it would be nice to learn how to play on a different instrument. :)

He's so supportive and tentative to you 😭 he's the first to come to your rescue whenever you're having a tough time in a battle!

Horror:

He doesn't think much of it. Not pretty big when it comes to playing an instrument, but it is nice to listen to you while he's drifting off to sleep.

He doesn't really care for it, hence -> he won't know anything about it. But he will support you. (Depending on what relationship you two have)

Just like the others, he also attends the times you play for the others, but only really focus on you. Not much on your skill.

He just likes you for you, no special skill is going to change that.

Horror is pretty much like your personal guardian when it comes to battles. As stated all the other times, your skill isn't really fit for battlefield, unless......

Horror actually helps you out a lot in this field. He gives you advice on how to use your skills in battle. And they're actually really good! (Unlike Killer's 💀)

He doesn't even know that the things he's saying are actually very helpful 💀

He just says what sounds right for him.

Lmao, bro absentmindedly helps you out the most of the bunch, which is actually really funny.

Error:

Also not big on instruments, but he sees you as an inspiration. Knowing how to play so many instruments is pretty impressive. And you do it flawlessly too!

He also, like the others attends your little "shows".

No matter what you play, he WILL fall asleep. It's not because it's boring, but your music is just calming to him.

You could be playing like a rock music, and he WILL STILL fall asleep. 💀

It's pretty much just impressive from his side at this point.

He thinks that you're actually pretty good in battle. Doesn't know what the other's are on about.

He would suspect you would be dead in seconds, but you actually survive them! Sure, not without injuries, but still. You can defend yourself somehow.

Dream:

Loves to hear you play the more calming instruments, rather than the loud ones. (Rock, Metal, etc. just won't do for him 😭)

He's seriously so proud of you!

As stated before, he doesn't like it when you're playing something loud. It hurts his nonexistent ears 💀🙏🏻

Almost burned your electric guitar one day... Says that it was an accident. (It wasn't.) Look, it was just in the way, and he wasn't looking! (It was annoying him, so he almost committed murder against your guitar 💀)

He hates loud instruments partly because he's supposed to be the protector of hopes and dreams, but it's mostly because it reminds him of his brother... :(

Always rushes to your rescue when in battle. Actually, doesn't even let you fight in the battles.

He just doesn't want to see you harmed in any way. Can't let his little muse die.

Ink:

Unlike Dream, Ink LOVES the loud instruments. (He also thinks you look attractive when playing them, but that's besides the point)

He's constantly encouraging you to play them, which irks Dream in return.

He thinks you're matching with the both of you having "artistic" hobbies. (He's actually so cute while saying that, like it's his best accomplishment)

If he could, he would sell his BRUSH just to hear you sing (not broomie 😭)

Comes to your shows whenever he remembers. His memory isn't that great, as we know.... So he'll most likely forget, and then remember when it's too late. He feels so bad that you actually can't help but feel sad for him.

He's actually on his knees, begging you for forgiveness. (You're not actually mad at him) He's such a sub while doing this that it's crazy 💀

Gets annoyed by your lack of fighting skills. Can't help but roll his eyes. (He'll still help you, because he likes you. But he WILL complain)

Just give him new pencils after, and he'll stop with the complaints.

Swap:

He's at awe at your skills. You inspire him to start learning himself! Of course he tries to learn by himself at first, due to not wanting to bother you. But after he figures out he can't learn by himself, he goes to you for help.

He's a really fast learner, so he gets the hang of it almost immediately. Which you appreciate. ^^

He also comes to listen to you performing! He swore to you that he'd come at every show. And he never broke it either!

After he gets better at his selective instrument and after he'll get more confident, he'll want to join you to perform with you! (Of course, if it's ok with you)

I swear, he's so supportive.

Doesn't care about your lack of fighting skills. It just gives him an excuse to protect you to be honest.

He seriously loves to be your knight in shining armor, definitely has this little fantasy that you're a princess/prince and he's the knight saving you from the HORRIBLE monster. (Nightmare)

[theoneandonlycoralinejones]

Some General Ericson's Kids Headcannons

Louis

Despite it being the zombie apocalypse, he still takes a great care in his appearance. Maybe this could be tied back to his insecurities, but he generally just finds comfort in looking nice. He kept a few colognes from before, and maybe even still has a few hair products. Of course he’d had to be resourceful to make them last this long, probably pours water into the almost empty cologne bottles to make them last longer. He also just dislikes being dirty in general, always wiping down his clothes and typically taking breaks to freshen up. 

He wants to keep the artistic spirit alive, even in the apocalypse, and he really admires people who feel the same. Everyone knows he loves piano, but when somebody actually shows interest in it he can't help but get giddy. He can ramble about musicians and songs for hours and hours and hours, and if you ever found him some new records or sheet music you'd officially be his new favorite person; ever.

Definitely was an only child; his parents put all of their focus on him, watched his every move. He was expected to get good grades, go to a good college, get a hard well-paying job afterwards. He was definitely spoiled money-wise, but his family lacked in the love and affection department. 

Violet

I’d like to think that if she ever got the chance to, she’d try to give herself a piercing. Obviously it’d be unsanitary and sort of implausible during the apocalypse, but if you think about it, all she’d need would be a needle, the piercing itself, and some sort of disinfectant, so it could possibly happen. If she did get one, probably an eyebrow piercing or a septum. She definitely isn’t the type to care too much about her appearance, but she would feel super cool having a piercing. (She wouldn’t say it though, lol)

Violet lacked any sort of hobby in the game, and this upset me. (Ruby has gardening/being a nurse, Louis has music, Tenn has art, Mitch has weapons, Omar has cooking, Aasim has writing, etc.) I feel like if she had a hobby it'd be something she'd do in secret, maybe poetry or writing songs. She definitely is the type of person to bottle her emotions up, so writing poems about it would definitely be a nice way to cope with them. She’d never share her poetry with anyone though, it's just her thing; she's way too embarrassed of it. 

If she was able to listen to any music she would definitely like indie or punk music. (Pavement, she would LOVE pavement) She’s definitely the type of person to crush on more alternative people, so I could see her trying to get into goth music just to impress a girl she likes. 

Marlon

It's obvious that he's definitely got some hefty mental issues going on, he's the type of person to bottle things up forever till he just blows up. He panics a lot in tough situations, scrambles to fix things himself, but has a hard time making things work out alone. I'd imagine his parents were probably perfectionists of some sort; who pushed a lifestyle he didn't want onto him and he tried hard to succeed for them but could never be enough. Eventually one day he acted out, sick of being forced to live a life he didn't want to live, and then was sent to Ericsons's.

A lot of people hate Marlon, for reasons that are obvious, but I really don't think he was a bad guy. He was simply misguided, and made mistakes. 

Seems like the type to smoke or drink as a way to cope. Did it more often before the apocalypse and when it first started but cigarettes and alcohol are pretty much nonexistent near Ericson’s now so he was forced to quit. 

Mitch

I see many people sort of stereotype Mitch as just this guy who likes carving knives and making bombs, which definitely is true, but I think there’s much more to him. He has a very rebellious personality which leads me to believe he probably grew up in a home where being rebellious was necessary to get any attention from his neglectful parents. They are in the boarding school for a reason, so he probably was the type of kid that almost burnt down his house or something.

Definitely seems like the type to be a big softie once you get to know him. Certainly not the type to be all soft in public, but if you're spending time one on one his more gentle side will show. 

Ruby 

She has such a motherly vibe to her, so caring and sweet. Even hands out some tough love when needed. I think that's one of the reasons why she likes the greenhouse so much, she loves to take care of things; plants included. (Obviously she also liked it because of Ms. Martin, but yk)

She's certainly not the type to accept compliments easily, she just can't imagine that when people compliment her they're telling the truth. I'd imagine that the reason she punches Aasim If you dare him to kiss her is because she thinks he's playing a prank on her or something; she just finds it hard to believe that somebody would like her. (I love her, Ruby is my bae omg)

[skzhua]

'down into the hollow' series (coming soon)

synopsis: pixie hollow has never been better. each fairy fulfills their responsibility as they should. all of them? some may be distracted with a certain visitor called love.

genre: fairies!stray kids, fantasy!au, tinkerbell universe, fluff mostly, slow burn, genre depends on each story.

warnings: swearing, suggestive for some of them, all are female reader.

note: they can be read individually, but they are all interrelated. (i used the same names as my 'your eyes' series because i have no inspiration when it comes to names)

note 2: click on the hearts to read!

status: coming soon...

STRAY KIDS MASTERLIST

♡ "Follow the melody in your heart."

pairing: music fairy!bang chan x dust keeper!reader.

genre: strangers-to-lovers, fluff, angst.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing, lots of complaining, chan is clueless as hell.

summary: unlike your friend, jisung, you adore being a dust keeper. getting to participate in the magic of the fairies makes you ecstatic. or maybe, it has something to do with the musician who practices near the pixie hollow tree almost every day.

♡ "Can you keep up?"

pairing: fast-flying fairy!lee minho x fast-flying fairy!reader.

genre: enemies-to-lovers (everyone's fav trope), fluff, angst.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing, insults, talks of depression.

summary: as much as minho loves the simplicity of his life, a new fairy arriving in pixie hollow comes in to ruin his perfectly quiet routine. not only that, but she dares to steal the show as one of their fastest fairies they've ever had.

♡ "I'd build a house for you."

pairing: tinker fairy!seo changbin x animal fairy!reader.

genre: slice of life, friends-to-lovers, lots of fluff.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing.

summary: as one of the best tinker fairies, changbin is the fairy to go to when in need. when a squirrel accident occurs, the only person you think of is him. only, this wouldn't be the first time you'd visit the kind fairy.

♡ "I followed the current until I reached a waterfall that made me fall for you."

pairing: water fairy!hwang hyunjin x light fairy!reader.

genre: fluff, angst.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing, hyunjin is a romanticist, talks of loneliness.

summary: you and your brother have a specific routine. in charge of the sunrise and the sunset, you are used to watching them. when you are tasked with rainbows making one day, the water fairy you are paired with takes your breath away.

♡ "Sometimes, you only need a little bit of dust."

pairing: dust keeper!han jisung x music fairy!reaader.

genre: fluff, fluff, fluff!

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing, jisung stares a lot.

summary: jisung never liked being a dust keeper. while the others get to play and fly around all day, he stares at the golden flakes for hours on end. on one of his many staring sessions at the other fairies, the music crew begins to play what can only be described as the most magical melody he has the chance to hear. their singer? you.

♡ "I never thought I'd see something shinier than the light."

pairing: light fairy!lee felix x garden fairy!reader.

genre: best friend's brother, fluff.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing.

summary: befriending someone who is a twin means two things. one; you are blessed with all the family secrets. two; you might ask about the other twin's a little too much.

♡ "They say swans find their forever partner."

pairing: animal fairy!kim seungmin x music fairy!reader.

genre: forced proximity, fluff.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing, suggestive.

summary: as you fly over to the daily rehearsal with the music fairies, birds coming your way changes your path and leads you to a dark cavern where the clumsy animal fairy misguided the flying beasts. it might take a while before the both of you get out, might as well make the most of it.

♡ "Growing flowers is kind of my thing."

pairing: garden fairy!yang jeongin x dust keeper!reader.

genre: strangers-to-lovers, fluff.

word count: tba.

warnings: swearing.

summary: he comes every day at the pixie hollow tree, and you observe him every time. you don't know him, he doesn't know you. somehow, the pink flowers he brings every now and then begin to grab your curiosity.

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