#you'd think i'd grow out of it but some piece of me will always be that insecure lonelychild i guess

[pillowspace]

Do you have any info on the ISAT Audience of Vaugarde AU you'd be willing to share? (Only if you wanna!!) :o

I'm really curious about it, I have SO many questions

During the loops, Loop would only ever see the faintest signs of a presence, but nothing that'd confirm one. They always thought it was just a bad memory springing up, like a faint scent or the faintest whisper of a familiar voice. The Audience watched everything. Sometimes, some would follow behind Siffrin into the House, while someone else would remain with Loop at the Favor Tree. Loop was rarely ever left alone. I imagine that, whenever some would follow Siffrin, they saw things they would have rather not, but there's not much to do but chat amongst themselves and spectate. It does give perspective to what Loop may have gone through though, so it's not like they wouldn't Understand Loop by the time the loops were broken.

I have nothing to say about this, I just want to note that I need to draw the bad touch event someday with Loop and Isabeau just STARING from the tree like [Live Loop Reaction] and [Live Isabeau Reaction], it's really funny to me.

Nobody was really too sure what to call Loop during the loops, constantly hesitantly switching between names. Eventually Mirabelle suggested they just stick to Loop if they can't ask, so they did. But I'd like to imagine that, once before that, Loop had caught a close familiar whisper of "Siffrin" and felt... unwell.

AFTER 2hats but BEFORE Loop reappears in the world is what this first drawing is. It's Loop's "in this moment, you are loved," but it's so hazy that it might as well have been a dream for them. Think of it like how at the start of In Stars and Time, the star is shown being eaten, and Siffrin wakes up.

Loop's still in Vauguarde, but they have NO idea where they are when they wake up. Their head is human, but not the rest of their body. Their hair is long and tangled and greasy, as if their hair had always been growing just out of sight. Some sort of barrier has been broken between Loop and the Audience, so as the days pass, the voices slowly grow clearer, and Loop starts slowly... seeing things.

Loop needs somewhere to stay, so an older woman lets them stay at her house. Let's call herrrr... Smithing One?? This is only a temporary arrangement.

If I draw Loop with really messy greasy hair and little to no clothing, that's the stage in which Loop is deeply afraid of any sign of the Audience's company. Example from a previous drawing:

If I draw Loop with hair slightly better taken care of and in a headband holding the overgrown middle piece back, Loop's now tense and nervous around the Audience but won't panic anymore, and will often communicate back. (Note: don't interpret this as Loop not liking them! Loop loves them very deeply and suffered a lot of grief, there's just a lot of feelings of fear and reopened wounds clashing.) I think maybe partway through this stage, Loop leaves Smithing One's house to go travel. Example from a previous drawing:

There is a stage I haven't drawn yet where Loop is entirely happy with the Audience and a lot more healed. I'm guessing Loop will have a high ponytail, and some hair accessory holding back the middle piece or something like that. I would like to draw that at some point.

After learning that Loop can't handle being called Siffrin and is only settling for the mild discomfort "Loop" brings, Odile will start calling them Little Crow, as per chipper-smol's reply:

I'm out of things to mention honestly, feel free to ask whatever you want

OH yeah. By the way, I do want Loop and Siffrin to reunite at some point, I'm just not sure how yet... The thing is, the Audience isn't actually ghosts. They're LIKE ghosts, but they're not dead. As I've said, Loop's first wish to stay with their friends simply merged with their second wish for help, so the Audience is more so just oddly disconnected from reality. Maybe after a lot of time has passed, the Audience is so tangible that anyone can see them, even if they have a little bit of an off air to them (and maybe they still can vanish at will). So... surprise! Siffrin's party would eventually realize that they ALSO have alternate versions of themselves walking around. Ohhh wait, wouldn't it be fun if one accidentally met their clone in a public place before ever even being aware of Loop's supposed "audience"? And Siffrin never wanted to talk about Loop's business to his family, so they never even found out what Loop was at all? Something in me tells me that it'd be most fun for it to be the Mirabelles to spot each other first

...............okay, now I'm out of things to mention

[lionhanie]

moving to busan (kim leehan)

where you move to a new city and fall in love with a boy on the beach 

surfer!leehan x gn!reader (non-idol au)

this work is my contribution to @onedoornet 's summer event! ^_^ check it out here!!! ♡

word count: 5.5k

genre + warnings: fluff!!! maybe a tad of angst o_O, written in all lowercase!, mentions of depression + feelings of unbelonging (??), leehan is referred to by his real name (donghyun), ft. side characters taesan and woonhak

a/n: me when i had to watch surfing videos to write this LMAO sorry if its inaccurate…….. i can't even swim! LOLLLL. i def channeled some of my own feelings into this, so it was rlly fun to write. i'd even go as far to say this is my Most Favorite piece yet :,)

reblogs ↺ + feedback always appreciated!

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you didn’t know what home felt like. which felt odd to say, given that you were extremely fortunate to grow up the way that you did– a roof above your head, food on the dinner table, and a family to share it with. the older you got, the more it felt like you needed to leave. there wasn’t anything inherently wrong with your life; sure, you had your fair share of rough patches here and there, but it was never anything too severe. despite that, you felt suffocated. it was hard to wake up in the same bed you’ve used for lord knows how long, going outside to walk the same paths you’ve walked on thousands of times, all to see the same faces everyday. this was all you knew.

moving to busan was something you never expected yourself to do. the decision was made more on a whim than anything else; immediately upon graduating, you decided to pack your bags and move to a new city, feeling like a stranger wandering alone in the foreign streets. there wasn’t much to pack, anyways. you were committed to truly leaving everything behind and starting fresh, bringing only one suitcase and a backpack for your essentials. 

you grew up in a smaller town, about five hours away from where you were now. there, you were used to the quaint homes belonging to the families you'd grown up with. the kind crossing guard by the middle school you used to attend still worked there years after you graduated, now bearing wrinkles by her eyes, but still possessing the same sweet smile she would always give you while helping you cross the street. everything you needed was a quick bike ride away. the area was quiet, comfortable, familiar. and yet, you left. 

you’d gotten to a point where you grew sick of the familiarity. to live life in one place forever scared you. it was best described as a fear of being stuck– like a stagnant body of water, peacefully undisturbed but painfully boring, to say the least. a fear of missing out on all the things you could be doing if you just lived somewhere else. anywhere more exciting than the town you knew like the back of your hand. you yearned for something else, something different. 

moving to busan meant doing things you never got the chance to do back at home. growing up, you quickly realized that being in a small town meant that you couldn’t do the same things that kids in bigger cities could do. all you had were necessities– a supermarket, doctor’s office, run-of-the-mill shops lining a dirt road in the core of the area. it was enough, sure, but you were hungry for more. on the other hand, busan was full of unique experiences waiting for you. some being as simple as trying new cuisines at restaurants you’d only dreamt of seeing in your hometown, or attending various local festivals held in the area for tourists and residents alike. 

it was crazy to think that life could be so different, even a few hours away from your childhood home. to most, giving up everything you once knew is a terrifying thought. to you, it was a wish you made to yourself when you blew out the candles on your birthday cake. you marveled at the way it’s been nearly two months since you first settled in and there’s still an endless list of things you’ve yet to try! it felt more like a dream, than anything. life has never been so bright– especially after years of feeling dull in a town you now dreaded returning to.  

moving to busan meant finally meeting new people. it was a breath of fresh air, really. the apartment complex you lived in was on the corner of a busy area, giving you access to a wide range of personalities each time you stepped out the building. you were lucky enough to get a part-time job at a newly opened cafe a couple blocks away, where you quickly became friends with your coworkers: taesan (who didn’t like coffee in the first place) and woonhak (who spent more time talking to the customers than actually making drinks).

you would’ve been content if those were the only two people you managed to befriend in the big city. they were full of life– a never ending source of laughter and stories from their respective hometowns, making your shifts go by significantly faster when you were scheduled together, much to your disappointment.

this is exactly what you had in mind the first time you thought about leaving. it was exhilarating. being someone completely new to the area meant that you could be whatever you wanted to be. there were no expectations from those around you; nobody knew who you were prior to moving. it was a freedom you feared you would never experience if you stayed back home– the smallest changes in your appearance would be the talk of the town, especially with the way history ran deep between the residents. in busan, it was a relief to be a stranger. 

moving to busan meant being by the water every chance you could get. you’re glad you moved right around the time spring started. the weather was perfect; just warm enough, not too hot. in your free time, you find yourself walking along the shore. it was only a short distance from your apartment, being only a fifteen-minute walk away from the sea. as a kid, you’d only visited it once. to you, the water was so terrifyingly beautiful. one would think they know what it has to offer on its surface, but the truths lie deeper than one could ever imagine. the very bottom of the sea could hold the most precious treasure in the world or the most dangerous creatures unbeknownst to man– the possibilities were endless. it’s a shame that you didn’t get to indulge in your interest more when you were younger, but you weren’t complaining now that the beach was practically in your backyard. 

sometimes you find yourself alone, sitting in the sand on an old blanket of yours. it’s normally right around dinner time, where most people have left the beach and the sun begins to fall from the sky. you could sit there for hours, listening to nothing but the waves crashing against the sand while you wait for the mix of colors from the sunset to paint the sky. you try to find a new place to relax every time you come to the water. much like how you felt about your hometown, it didn’t feel right to return to the same spot each time. 

on one of your routine visits to the beach, you met a boy, whose story felt oddly familiar to you. much like your own upbringing, he’s been in the same place his whole life. this is where your timelines falter– it’s clear he has zero intentions of leaving the city he grew up in. to him, this is the only definition of home he could imagine. you were almost jealous. you yearned to know what it meant to truly enjoy being in the same place for so long. maybe it was commitment issues, or maybe it was just a never-ending desire to know more– to experience everything life had to offer. for donghyun, he seemed just fine being here forever. 

the first time you saw him was by chance. today, you decided to go see the water after work. it was rare you worked the mid-shift, which coincidentally ended around the time you would normally find yourself sitting in the sand. “are you doing anything after work today, Y/N?” taesan asks, watching you take off your apron and fold it neatly before placing it into your bag. 

“i think i'll go to the beach today.” you smile at the thought, having quickly found comfort in the location.

“wow, i'm jealous,” woonhak pouts at you from behind the register. “can’t believe you’re leaving taesan and i to close all by ourselves today!” 

you playfully roll your eyes at the boy. “you should blame our boss, not me. if we’re all off one day, i promise we’ll all go together!” your coworkers wave goodbye to you as you walk out of the front entrance, happy to see that it was still somewhat bright outside. you normally left long after the sun had set, when most of the neighboring stores were closing as well. 

the walk there was always pleasant. you liked exploring different routes, seeking out all possible ways to get to the same destination. it’s hard to keep the excitement bubbling within you contained when the vast expanse of sand first comes into view. there were still groups of people scattered across the area, but because it wasn’t exactly “beach season” yet, it wasn’t too populated. you hadn’t brought your usual blanket with you; coming here was a spontaneous decision. instead, you decided to lay out your apron close enough to the water to smell the salty air but just out of reach of the waves rippling against the shoreline. 

you plant yourself onto your makeshift beach towel, the sand feeling soft below you, still warm from the sun’s touch. looking into the distance, you’re entranced by the movements of the sea. it was healing, the rhythmic push-and-pull of the waves leaving a white foam in its path, bubbling and full of life. the calls of seagulls from above you, soaring around peacefully.

you wish you knew what it could feel like to fly like that, to feel the air beneath your wings. complete freedom. a small figure comes into your view, pulling your gaze away from the birds. someone’s surfing? it’s a little cold to be doing that right now. even so, the boy didn’t seem to mind. standing on the surfboard, his face was filled with pure joy as he rode the water beneath him. the closer he got, you were able to hear his fun-filled cheers more clearly. complete freedom. 

he was awfully good at what he was doing, unphased even if the tide seemed to pick up a bit more than expected. right now, the stranger looked completely in tune with the water; as if they were one and the same. his movements were graceful, despite how difficult it must be to keep balance. 

the wave soon dies down, crashing against the sand as it always does. your eyes observe the way he laughs to no one but himself as he walks through the shallow parts of the water. drops of water fall from his hair as he shakes his head, board held securely beneath his arm. the wetsuit is tight against his skin; his figure is lean and toned, presumably from all the surfing he does. 

he’s not too far away from you now, catching his breath as he sits in the sand parallel to you. the surfboard sits idly against the sand as he looks out into the horizon, seeking his next adventure. it’s not long before he gets up and approaches the water once more, sensing a big one coming up. you didn’t know much about how this worked, having only seen it in movies or tv shows, never in-person like this. 

the man lays stomach-down onto his board, determined as he paddles deeper into the unknown. he’s dismissive of the smaller ripples against him, not nearly powerful enough to get a good ride. it’s impressive how he seems to control the water, rather than the other way around. it’s clear that he loves what he’s doing. you decide you love it too, completely mesmerized by the way he maneuvers through the tide. he disappears briefly as a larger wave washes over him, but he’s quick to rise above it, emerging on the other side and pushing further into the sea. you watch as the water begins to crest close to him. this is the one. 

if you weren’t paying enough attention, you would’ve missed the way the stranger effortlessly springs to his feet, knees bent slightly when he first mounts the board. he shuffles slightly, adjusting his stance for better balance. almost in tune with the water, he skillfully navigates the wave, letting the water bring him back to the shore once more.

the sun was behind him now, a beautiful arrangement of pinks and oranges flooding the sky, making the picture perfect. you almost couldn’t believe you had the pleasure of seeing it in real time, the whole scene looking like a frame out of a movie. there it was again, an expression of bliss as he enjoys the ride, arms stretched out in the air by his sides as the board is pushed back to the shore once more. even when he falls off the board as the momentum slows down, the grin on his face never dies. 

despite your attentiveness, you don’t comprehend the way the handsome man was heading your way, being led by the tide. much like before, he’s chuckling to himself as the high from the ride slowly dies down. his hand runs through his damp locks after wiping the salty water from his face. now, he’s walking directly towards you, eyes shaped like crescents with the way he was cheesing so hard. your heartbeat speeds up. you turn around, finding that there was no one else around. his smile is reserved for you. 

the board is held close to his body as he leaves the water, his footsteps leaving indents in the damp sand behind him as he settles a couple feet away from you. there’s a soft plop as he drops the surfboard on the ground, taking a seat next to it. 

“do you want to try?” his eyes flick over towards the water before they’re back on you. 

“huh?” you’re baffled at the way you were observing him from afar only a couple minutes prior, and now he’s striking up a conversation. 

“you’ve been watching me for a while, no?” he tilts his head, lips curling into a small smile. his accent is thick, more obvious than some of the others you’ve heard in your short time there. he must be from around here. 

“was i that obvious?” you joke, playing with a handful of sand by your feet. 

the stranger laughs in response. “there’s barely anyone else here right now, at least around this time of year. you think i wouldn’t feel a set of pretty eyes on me while i surfed?” your cheeks heat up at the comment, feeling a bit flustered at the sudden praise. he’s properly facing you now, hand outstretched in your direction. “nice to meet you, not-so-secret admirer. my name is kim donghyun.” 

his hand is still wet, drops of water touching your own as you reach out to shake it. “i’m L/N Y/N. it’s nice to meet you too, donghyun.” 

“is that an apron you’re sitting on?” he points out, moving to fiddle with one of its strings resting in the sand. 

“pfft, yeah. forgot to bring my blanket today.” you explain, laughing at your forgetfulness. “i just got off work.” 

“you come here often, then?” his hair was completely soaked still, droplets falling from it and landing beside him. 

“i guess you could say that. i only moved here a couple weeks ago.”

“you picked the perfect city. i love it here.” the sun was almost completely out of view now, having slowly disappeared into the horizon. it was beautiful out. you breathe in the salty air as you watch the stray clouds floating by. 

“yeah, i think so too. busan has been treating me well.” 

“god, i’m starving,” he gets up abruptly, brushing his hands together to remove the sand clinging to them. you expect him to pick up his board and walk off, turning him into nothing more than an oddly-sweet beach interaction. “i know a good gukbap place nearby. coming with?” he extends a hand out to you again, waiting for you to accept his invitation. why not? 

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moving to busan meant enjoying summer for the first time in years. as a kid, you used to dread this time of year. most of your friends looked forward to school finally ending, but to you, this just meant you truly had nothing to do with your spare time. your days were spent walking down the worn down paths listening to music, or sitting in your backyard reading one of the many books in your collection. this was the closest thing you had to “escaping” from your reality. 

now, you had an entire city to explore. you were eager, but you wanted to take your time doing so. the last thing you would want is to get tired of busan, even if you arrived just a couple months ago. you didn’t see your excitement wearing down any time soon. 

“there’s my favorite barista!” donghyun’s smiling at you in front of the register, where you’d been standing for the past couple hours. once you told him you were working at one of the local cafes, he quickly became a regular (only when you were on schedule, of course). 

“you’re not getting anything today?” he shakes his head no, making you chuckle. he actually never bought anything when he was there, rather showing up just to talk to you in your free time. you tap a few buttons on the screen, starting your thirty minute break and walking out to the main floor of the shop, the surfer following closely behind.  

“do you want to go to the beach with me later?” donghyun rests his head against his hand as he looks at you from across the table. “i’m going surfing again.” it’s sweet the way his eyes sparkle when he talks about his beloved hobby. 

“wow, i would’ve never guessed!” you respond sarcastically, earning a giggle from him as he shrugs. “i’m closing today though. guess you won’t have an audience today.” 

he pouts back at you, sniffling as he wipes away non-existent tears. “who else am i going to show off to then?” ever since the day you met, you found yourself seeing donghyun more often than you initially expected. you thought that he’d just be a friend you’d find in the waters every so often. not that it was an issue, no– rather, you found yourself perking up every time he walked through the doors. it’s something woonhak quickly picked up on when working with you, often nudging you with his elbow suggestively every time donghyun showed up. 

“i’m off tomorrow, though.” you’re looking at your shifts on your phone. “if you’re free, maybe we can-”

“yes.” he answers immediately, catching you off guard.

“you’re not going to let me finish my sentences now?” you can’t hold back the grin on your face at how forward he was. “what if i asked you to go fishing in the middle of the night or something?”

“...i’d still say yes. that sounds fun, actually. we could totally do that if you want to!” every word that came out his mouth was so incredibly endearing, even if he wasn’t trying. 

…and that’s how you found yourself next to him at midnight, only a couple hours after you got off work, sitting in two fold-up beach chairs on the dock. “i’d question why you have all this fishing gear, but i should’ve expected as much from you, donghyun.” 

“hey, isn’t this nice though? there’s no one else here at this time.” he looks proud as he rests the fishing rod on the wooden guard rail, line casted in the water. “isn’t it kind of romantic?” 

your cheeks heat up at his implications. if it weren’t for the warm lantern placed between you two, he would’ve missed the blush on your face. “i was joking when i said we should do this, you know.” 

“oh, was it? i was serious, though.” you can tell he’s telling the truth with the way he looks at you with a serious gaze. 

“yeah, i know that now.” you didn’t mind being dragged around to his odd antics. weird, yeah, but you can’t deny the fact that you enjoyed every second of his company. he enjoyed yours as well. “i find it funny to think you find this to be romantic.”

“why wouldn’t i? you’re here with me, after all.” with that, you realize that you see donghyun as more than just a boy you met on the beach. 

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moving to busan meant having someone to walk with once the autumn leaves started coming in. it was always nice to see the trees begin to change color, but you always wondered what it would be like to see the transition on a bigger scale– and busan gave you the perfect chance to do just that. now that you finally got to experience the fall wonder somewhere new, you weren’t sure if you could ever go back to the life you once lived.

days like this were common, where you’d walk through the streets that donghyun grew up in. usually it was just you two, but today, he suggested you come with him as he walked his dog. naturally, you accept; it was hard to deny a cute boy with an equally cute dog in his arms. you hold onto the leash, smiling at the way koni would stop every couple minutes to sniff something on the ground. 

as you walk a bit further, you stumble across a large crowd of people surrounding various street vendors, curiosity piqued within you. “ah, is it already time for the jagalchi festival? how could i forget!” donghyun marvels at his poor memory, he hadn’t realized it’s already been seven months since you entered his life. time seemed to go by quicker with you by his side. 

“festival? this happens every year?” your steps slow down, koni gently tugging on the leash to keep walking towards the bustling area. 

“yeah, it’s basically like a huge fish market that runs for a couple days. tons of people come from around the country to see it, actually. the local fishermen show off all the catches from the season, so you know it’s the freshest you can get… and there’s performances too! you have to see it now that you’re a busan resident!” 

donghyun takes your hand in his, leading you towards the festival. banners were put up all over the area, welcoming in visitors from near and far into the heart of busan. colorful lanterns adorned the sides of each vendor’s stall, enveloping the area in a comfortable glow. there were people of all ages in attendance, smiling and laughing amongst each other as they explored everything the market had to offer– this was something you would’ve never experienced back at home. 

the two of you come to a stop at one of the less crowded sellers. its owner, a kind looking old man, was standing proud at the buckets of fish laid out on the ground in front of him. “should we raise a fish together?”

“donghyun, these fish are dead.” 

he rolls his eyes at you playfully. “duh, i know that. i mean like, going to the store and getting a new friend for my tank at home.” 

“wouldn’t that just mean you’re raising it on your own? i don’t have any space for a fish tank at my place.” you think back to your apartment, which now felt like a space you could truly call your own. you were proud to think that you finally felt like you were where you belonged, even if you’ve only been here for a short time. 

“that’s fine! what matters to me is that we bought it together! obviously i’d give you visiting rights to our child.” how could you reject him when his eyes light up at the mention of getting a pet with you? 

“woah, our child? we must be serious now.” your comment is nothing more than a joke, but he’s silent as he thinks about what he wants to say. he gives the hand he’s holding a slight squeeze. 

“can i be your boyfriend, Y/N?” 

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moving to busan meant finding a new type of warmth amidst the cold winter. back at home, winters felt especially difficult. you were prone to the adverse effects of seasonal depression when this time of year came around. the days weren’t as long, sun setting much earlier than it did in the summer, leaving you with nothing but darkness. just getting out of bed felt like a hassle– there was nothing to look forward to in such a boring town. everything was just… so bland. you were in a constant state of irritation, the smallest things ticking you off and leaving you frustration for no specific reason. 

this winter, you found it hard to believe those old feelings haven’t come back yet. not when you had someone like donghyun at your side. if you found it hard to get out of bed, he’d be there to drag you out with him, humming to himself as you made breakfast together in your tiny kitchen. if you felt like crying, he’d be waiting next to you, box of tissues in hand as he wiped away your tears.

winter usually felt like being dragged deeper into the ocean, unable to swim– but now, donghyun was there to bring you back to the surface, safe and sound. each day spent with him felt like healing; as if nothing bad could ever happen to you knowing that there was someone who looked at you with nothing but love in his eyes.

“do you ever miss your hometown, Y/N?” you were laying in your boyfriend’s arms in his childhood bedroom. his prized fish tank sat on his dresser, where the fish you bought together swam happily amongst its friends. there were photos of him as a kid framed on his walls– him at his middle school graduation smiling proudly between his parents, him holding koni as a puppy, him crying beside his older sister on the playground– each one giving you a glimpse of the life he lived before he met you. “i can’t imagine throwing everything away and leaving like you did.”

“well, it sounds bad when you say it like that. i don’t think i was happy there, though.” donghyun knew he wanted nothing more than to give you a home you felt comfortable going back to. a place where you could feel true happiness in. he’s mindlessly running his hands through your hair from behind you as he listens. “i can’t say i miss it just yet. maybe i’ll visit sometime soon, just not now.” 

“does that mean you’re happy here? in busan, i mean.”

“yeah, i’m happy,” you take a moment to reflect on the way your life completely changed upon leaving the town you once knew; how a stranger on the beach brought color into your colorless world. sunsets spent eating ice cream on a hot day at the beach, meals shared at his favorite local restaurants, and nights much like this one, being embraced by the man you love, as you talk until the sun rises. “i knew things would be better somewhere else, but i’d never imagine meeting someone like you so soon. you make me feel like i should look at things a little differently at home.” 

“if you ever decide to go back there, can i come with you?” he rests his head on your shoulder, cheek touching yours. 

“hm? i mean, if you want to. there’s not much to see there. i don’t think you’d have as much fun there as you do here.” you offer, thinking about how disappointed he’d be upon seeing that there truly was nothing to do there compared to busan. 

“i want to see it. i don’t care if you think it’s boring,” he’s sincere with his words, you can tell he means everything he’s saying when it comes to you. “we can rewrite all your bad memories together. it makes me sad to think you look back at the town you grew up in without fondness.” 

“it’s going to be at least a year until i want to see that place again,” you grab his hand, large fingers enveloping yours. “but i’d like that a lot, donghyun.” 

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and by the time spring rolls around once more, and it’s finally been one year since you moved to busan, you think you finally understand what it means to feel at home. you never got the chance to visit the temples last year, just barely missing cherry blossom season when you first unloaded your boxes in your empty apartment. from then, you promised yourself you’d save it for the best time of year, when the blossoms were in full bloom, baby pink petals on display and falling along with the occasional breeze. 

you’ve never known what it felt like to be loved wholeheartedly, but you’re certain this is it, as you walk hand in hand with donghyun through a path of cherry blossom trees. with him, you found that every day felt like a scene out of a drama. exiting through the temple’s entrance, you return back to the streets you were now familiar with. there’s a small creamery hidden between a restaurant and convenience store, and you find yourself sitting at a table outside, ice cream slowly melting in their cups in front of you. 

“i wish i was cooler when i asked to be your boyfriend. i think about that a lot,” donghyun plays with your fingers across the table before intertwining them with his own. “in all honesty, i was thinking about it for a long time before that day.”

“really?” this was news to you. you knew you had more than platonic feelings for donghyun that night at the dock, but you were surprised to hear he felt the same way as early as you did. it warmed your heart to think he fell in love as quickly as he did. 

“yeah. i wanted to do something cool, like surprising you at work with a big bouquet of flowers, or making you your favorite food and hiding a note in it. just anything more interesting than popping the question at a damn fish stall.”

you burst out laughing at the thought of finding a piece of paper in your meal. “it was perfect to me, though. i’m more shocked at the fact you saw me like that for so long, donghyun.” you feel shy suddenly, reminiscing on the way your heart would speed up everytime he walked into the cafe, or when he would walk you back to your apartment after spending the day in the water together.

“i knew you’d be someone important to me the day i noticed you watching me on the beach. i don’t know why, though. maybe it’s just because people don’t really bat an eye when they see me surfing.” 

“it was hard not to. i’ve never seen anyone so carefree. i guess i was just jealous of the fact that someone could look like that.” you can’t believe it’s already been a year since you first saw him on the beach. it was almost as if the sea brought the two of you together when the wave he was riding pushed him straight to you. 

“i think you look like that when you’re with me,” donghyun’s smiling at his realization. “when i’m with you, it feels like i’m riding a wave that never dies. i’d give up surfing if it meant i could have you by my side forever.” the confession shocks you, knowing how much he loved spending hours at the beach every day, chasing the high he got when he was on his surfboard. you wanted to cry; to think that someone would let go of something that meant the world to them just for you. donghyun thinks he could cry too– to think that he had found you, a person who changed his world in a matter of months, by a stroke of fate. 

to donghyun, you moving to busan meant making you a part of his definition of “home”. 

taglist: @onedoornet @minwrlds @dongminz (my OG beta readers BTW. <3) @serejae @loserlvrss

@arafilez @nicholasluvbot @0310s @gluion @blumisiu

@woorcve @brachioswrld

© lionhanie 2024 ; all rights reserved!

[neontokyoo]

Hello I saw your post about fic request and I'm here to humbly ask you if you'd write anything with Halsin and a pregnant partner (Tav) after the epilogue party.

@amorgansgal and me both wrote a little something about how he would be at the party and that kinda brought my thoughts back to that whole thing.

I'm thinking some domestic fluff, or maybe how the companions would react, would they visit/ come over to care for the soon-to-be-growing-family, who's gonna be the cool uncle and/ or wine aunt and the likes of that.

Of course I'd also take anything with smut, I'm enthusiastically on board with anything Halsin related :D

Anyway, if you get around to writing a lil something, I'd be very happy! <3

of course! I love my bear-man! This is quite possibly one of my cutest requests I have ever gotten. Hopefully my heart is still functioning in one piece by the time I finish this 😂

Pairing: Halsin x Fem!Tav Genre: fluff Summary: After finally defeating the Netherbrain Tav finds herself expecting Halsin’s baby. Which, unfortunately, the rest of the party was able to find out about fairly quickly. Warnings: possible mentions of (bear) sex and bg3 spoilers.

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Everyone at the party after the final battle knew that there was something different about Tav. They couldn’t quite wrap their heads around it, but they could tell something was going on.

Perhaps it was the extra weight she gained, or the way she waddles when she walks. But they definitely knew something was up. Especially when Halsin was beaming every time he saw Tav, or occasionally wrapping his arms around her waist with his hands resting on her stomach. It wasn’t until then that they realized what it was.

Tav was pregnant.

“Hmm, do you think that the child would come out as a bear or a person?” Astarion snickered. “That sounds like quite the interesting—and painful—delivery for Tav.”

“That’s enough of that.” Gale grumbled, elbowing the vampire’s shoulder. “I highly doubt their offspring will be a bear. Halsin isn’t even completely a bear.”

“No, but he’s a man-bear,” the vampire replied matter-of-factly. “Who knows, maybe they got down and dirty in bear form,” he shrugged, “it’s always a possibility.”

“That’s not a weird way to think about your friends at all,” Shadowheart muttered. “But I’m pretty sure their baby is not going to be a bear. They might not even be a Druid like Halsin is, so the chances of them being a bear are pretty slim.”

“I love how we’re arguing about whether the child is a bear or a person,” Karlach chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest. “Usually it’s an argument about whether it’s a boy or a girl.”

The group continued their banter, only to go completely silent when the couple in question came in to view.

The couple held hands as they talked to each other in the distance, close enough for the group to stop talking so they’re not overheard, but far enough for the group to not hear their conversation.

Tav looked at her boyfriend, laughing to herself as she glanced over at the rest of her companions. “Do you think they know?”

Halsin couldn’t help but smirk as he laughed along with her. “They definitely know about it if they’re arguing over if it’s going to be a bear or not.”

“Then there’s no point in telling them?”

The elf shook his head as he looked at the group with an amused expression, visible fear on their faces as they realized Halsin knew what they were talking about. “No, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

A sudden light blush spread across Tav’s cheeks as the realization hit her. “But how in the nine hells do they know that I fucked you as a bear?!”

Halsin shrugged.

“You guys are just so fucking loud, we could hear the roars from camp!” Astarion shouted, overhearing parts of the conversation as they got closer.

The couple burst out laughing.

“Well, looks like we’ll need to go even deeper into the woods next time.” Halsin chuckled.

“If we go any deeper we might run out of woods!” Tav exclaimed.

Halsin smiled, turning to meet Tav’s gaze as he pulled a strand of hair out of her face and pulled her in for a quick kiss.

“At least we know that it’s not a bear baby.”

Extra headcanons:

The pregnancy was planned and Tav and Halsin have been thinking about it for a long time before they decided it was something they really wanted to do.

Astarion and Gale are constantly fighting over the baby after it’s born.

Karlach, Astarion, and (possibly) Minthara are the rich wine aunts who like to gossip with the kid about all the drama going on in their life as they get older.

Gale, Wyll, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart are the cool uncles who spoil the child and teach them how to defend themselves.

Halsin has a soft spot for girls. I personally just see him being the biggest girl dad.

when the baby was born, Tav and Halsin had to distance themselves from the rest of the party because they were never able to see their child when they had all their companions together.

Gale teaches the child magic.

Lae’zel, Wyll, and Karlach teach the child how to fight.

Astarion teaches them how to sneak around, steal without getting caught, and break into locked doors.

Shadowheart teaches them how to help protect themselves and the people around them

Tav and Halsin try to teach their kid that half of what they’re being taught is not okay. They don’t want their children sneaking around and picking fights 😂

[heathermason6060]

Daryl Dixon x f!Reader: Together Apart Ch.5

Warnings/Mentions: History of abuse, neglect, strong language, mentions of character death, alcohol and drug abuse, ptsd, shared trauma, reader is cold, angst, fluff, eventual smut, slowburn, angst

Summary: You and Daryl grow closer due to feeling out of place in Alexandria. Just when you think you have the old Daryl back, he leaves.

Notes: I think the chapter after this one will be the last chapter, and finally have some cheesy old fashion love making :D Sorry Daryl vanishes at the end tho ):

It never seemed to end for him. In front of everyone else he was silent, emotionless, an empty body on autopilot. But when you'd walk off into the trees to search for water, it always hit him, no matter how many times he'd thought he'd cried out all out and was done with it. 

He clung to you after her death like never before, constantly walking in your shadow and wordlessly begging for some sort of comfort, reassurance, anything. You did the best you could, which ended up being more than either of you expected. You seamlessly morphed into the familiar elder sister role, mirroring the ways you would comfort your bruised baby brother. 

He put a cigarette out on his hand the one time he went off by himself, and not following him was something you came to regret. 

“Daryl,” the whisper of your voice had him cringing, the sound too empathetic and full of concern, he had to fight to keep himself from cracking when your comfort washed over him. 

“I know… I'm not good with words, or shit like this.” You sighed, maintaining a quiet tone, low enough for the sound of rain and the crackle of fire to cover. 

Daryl remained silent as you spoke. He picked at the skin around his fingers, looking down at his hands in his lap, and the sight of your smaller hand lightly touching his wrist makes him jerk. 

“I can't take away your pain, God knows I'd kill every goddamn piece of shit alive to make you feel better.” Your voice turned shaky, and the urge to cry was becoming overwhelming for the both of you. “But... I can promise you, you'll never have to worry about losing me. I just want you to know, I'm that one thing you don't need to worry about. I always will be.” 

Daryl slowly inhaled through his stuffy nose and nodded, the noise dry and shaky, his eyes burning and unblinking from their gaze on your hand. 

“I know.” He finally spoke and nodded again, as if that would magically set it in stone. “Me too.”

Slipping back into your place in the group dynamic was unpleasant after being alone with Gabriel for that long. It wasn't just one person you had to make an effort for anymore, and deep down you despised it. It was almost comparable to going back to school after summer break. You had to play by the rules again, fit into their perfect perception or risk repercussions. 

The discovery of Eugenes lies was all but a surprise to you. You didn't have some wild sense of intuition, you were just a pessimistic person. Although you kept your opinions to yourself, you didn't predict the extent of how deep his lies had been. The cure was a given, obviously, but the fact he lied about being a scientist as well? Lied about the safe place in Washington too? It took everything you had in you not to cave his face in when you saw the look of disappointment on Daryl's face. That's another reason why you hated being in a group. People didn't deserve to be able to let you down, and sure as hell not the one person you gave a shit about. 

People love to parrot that same ‘it has to get worse before it can get better’ bullshit you'd been told by concerned and empathetic authority figures all throughout your childhood. Safe to say it had lost its meaning to you, even when Daryl tried to lift your spirits. 

Well, it sure got better for everyone else. 

You weren't alone in your suspicions about Aaron. For once Rick and you agreed on something, it was a bad idea to go to Alexandria. But the group convinced him to take a chance, that the rewards greatly outweigh the risks, and you watched with a disapproving glare as Aaron led you all past the gates. 

“I'm just going to ask you a few simple questions, get to know you. You don't mind if I record this, do you?” 

You had a feeling your answer wouldn't make any difference, no matter what you said. You shook your head as you watched Deanna turn her video camera on, the big black lens feeling like an intimidating pit waiting to swallow you up if you gave an answer she didn't like. She rounded the couch and sat down, a tight and professional smile on her lips. 

“Let's start with your name.”

You told her your name, trying to behave despite your stomach growling and the sudden awareness that you smelled and looked awful. 

“Where are you from,” She repeated your name. 

“Georgia. Up North.” 

“Did you work?”

“No.”

“What were you before the outbreak?” When you didn't answer, she elaborated. “Were you a student in school, staying at home, traveling…?”

“After high school I stayed home for a couple years. Took care of my mom.” 

“I understand you're close with Daryl, is that right?” 

You must've visibly reacted to that question, because even after you answered, she pressed for more information.

“Did you grow up together?”

“Kind of, we weren't really friends or anything. He lived nearby and I'd see him around.”

Deanna nodded as if she was your therapist listening to some deep-seated trauma. 

“Did you ask anyone else these questions?” You scratched the back of your arm, beginning to feel uncomfortable. 

“I ask everyone all kinds of questions. I want to get to know you all, it's not an interrogation. You don't need to answer any that you don't want to.”

She finally changed the subject to your relationship with Rick's group. Not that you were eager to talk about it, but at least she wasn't grilling you on Daryl anymore. 

“I've been here since before Rick came and took over. Back in Atlanta. Daryl and his brother Merle came to get me when it happened. I thought maybe they were having some bad trip or somethin'. Ran into my house yelling about dead folks coming back to life and eating people. If it wasn't for them, I'd probably be dead too, but, I think they mainly came to get me because they knew my mom had a stash of cigarettes and drugs.” You were chuckling as you spoke, not realizing you had given up so much information without her even asking. You instantly shut up, the amused smile leaving your face. 

“How do you get along with other members of your group?”

You cringed at the phrasing. They weren't your group, they were Daryl's people, you were just a temporary guest without a set time to leave. 

“Fine. Haven't heard any complaints. Have you?”

“No. But I have heard you don't work well with others.” 

You shrugged. 

“Do you want to be here?” The way she would use your name at the end of every few sentences was starting to get under your skin. 

“I'm kinda stuck with wherever Daryl wants to be.” 

Deanna ended the interview after a handful of other unimportant questions and you were allowed to leave, led to your new house by one of her son's. 

You took the longest and hottest shower of your life, only getting out when Abraham started pounding on the door. It brought back that same feeling of anxiety you'd get when your mother would bang on your locked door in a fit of anger. You nearly ran him over when you burst out of the bathroom, making him drop his change of clothes and call out a disgruntled complaint. 

“Who the hell is this?” 

Daryl looked up from his bag to see you looking down at him, a teasing grin on your fresh face. The image of you being all cleaned up had him momentarily stunned. It had been a while since either of you had seen each other clean like that. 

“Daryl? No way, where's your grease?” You toyed with his damp hair before sitting next to him on the floor near the fireplace, where he'd decided to sleep for the night. 

“Nah, I don't know you. Ya don't smell like bloody rabbits.” He retorted, leaning in to dramatically sniff at you. “The hell is that? Shampoo?”

“Uh, it's shampoo, conditioner, body wash, lotion, and toothpaste.” You replied, giving an exaggerated smile to show your clean teeth. 

You shared a few chuckles and jokes as the rest of the group cleaned up and prepared for bed. Even though you couldn't stand the place or the new people in it, the prospect of having your own room with an actual bed had you buzzing with excitement. 

Sleeping next to Daryl wasn't anything out of the ordinary for you. It was an arrangement that happened more nights than not. But sleeping next to Daryl in a safe house, wrapped in clean clothes, soft blankets, and not even the slightest whiff of the outdoors? It was overwhelming. 

You turned on your side to face him, watching as he stared up at the ceiling, the dark room filled with the familiar ambiance of gentle snoring and breathing. Daryl always slept after everyone else, and that night was no exception. 

Despite your instincts telling you not to, you wiggled on the blanket to move closer to him, nuzzling your face in his nearly dry hair, closing your eyes as you inhaled his clean scent. 

He stiffened at first, an automatic reaction which soon faded and he relaxed, tilting his head until his cheek rested against your forehead. He could barely feel the warm tickle of your breath under his jaw, the feeling soliciting a subliminal relaxation. His eyes closed then, and he listened to the barely audible whistle of your nose. He listened as the whistle got softer, slower, and nearly disappeared altogether as you fell asleep. 

Daryl made sure to untangle himself from you the next morning, before anyone else had the chance to wake up and witness your private bond. No one deserved to see that part of him or you, it was intended for the two of you alone, something deeper and more personal than anyone would understand. 

Adjusting to being around people was a challenge that went all the way back to school. Even in Atlanta you struggled with it, going from being a hermit with your sick mother to an adult in a large group of people, it felt like your first day of school all over again. 

That was all nothing compared to being in Alexandria. Not only were you surrounded by people that annoyed you, but another larger group of people you knew absolutely nothing about. 

They bestowed heavy responsibilities on you as well. It wasn't just scraping by washing clothes and hunting, it was work. Hard work. Wall building, gardening, work inside Alexandria, work outside their walls, near constant supply runs, and cooking. 

Parties. Pasta for dinner. A seemingly limitless flow of sparkling amber champagne. Some kid was walking their fucking pet dog on the sidewalk. 

It felt insulting. Their first impression on you firmly implemented your personal views towards them. Spoiled, weak, wearing faces of false persona, wives chittering like hens with warm knowing smirks. Husbands and men who always smiled like the sun, going out of their way to do things they considered nice for you, then putting on a somber and humble face if anyone had praised their hard work, dedication, and sacrifices. Sacrifices that basically ensued going to the grocery store. 

You hated it. You hated them, you hated their kids, you hated their houses that looked like mansions to you, and you hated the way Rick's group treated it like they'd walked through the bright pearly gates and not the glorified pretentious prison that it was. 

To your relief Daryl didn't quite like it either. 

“They invited us to what?” You didn't believe him when he said it to you as he stared around your new room. 

“Said it was a welcoming party.” He grunted, fingers picking at the edges of a tacky poster of a puppy on the wall. 

“A party? What do you mean a party?” 

“Dunno.” He sighed, throwing his hands up in muted exasperation. “S’jus what she said.” She being Deanna, the same woman who took away your guns, which yours had grown to be quite the impressive collection. But you being your hardened and sneaky self, you'd managed to smuggle two of your handguns into your room. Daryl got to keep his crossbow, of course, and you your own recurve bow, it was the bare minimum aside from your knives, which the others were allowed to keep as well. Sadly, you'd end up breaking that bow a few days later by slinging it at Pete's head.

“And everyone's going?” You pressed on from your seat on the bedroom dresser. 

“Dunno. Goddamn, told you what she told me, you know s’much as I do.” 

You went to the party. Of fucking course you would, they had full on meals with all the food groups, they had alcohol, they had little appetizers and finger foods you'd only ever seen on tv and in magazines, you'd be an idiot not to. The only con was the house was stuffed with people. You could barely make it two steps without bumping into a new face. 

You didn't stay long at all, leaving the second your stomach felt full, and you had a decent buzz going on. You snuck out the back door and snagged the half empty bottle of champagne on your way out. 

“Ya went?” Daryl was surprised to see you walking down the sidewalk in new clothes. The black button up hung a little loose on you, the sleeves bunched up around your elbows, the hem falling all the way past your ass. 

“I may not like those people, but they make some damn good casserole.” You snickered, popping out the metal reusable cork and taking a deep drink. 

Daryl grabbed the bottle from your outstretched hand and downed nearly the whole damn thing in three gulps. 

“Yeah yeah. Go on, help yourself.” 

He gave a weak grin at your playful scoff before handing the bottle back to you. 

“You remember what I said back in Atlanta.”

You looked to your side at Daryl as the two of you walked down the dimly lit path back to your new residence. “Gotta be more specific.” 

“Bout takin’ their shit an��� hauling ass outta there.” 

“Yeah. One of my biggest regrets is talking you out of it.” You sighed, your tone no longer playful and lighthearted. “We could be all the way across the country by now. Would still have Merle bitching out ears off and ranting about some racist conspiracy theory.” 

Daryl suddenly chuckled. “You ‘member that time he was tryin’ to come up with slurs for walkers?” His amused grin spread further when you erupted into laughter at the memory. “What was it he called ‘em? Rotters? Pus-suckers?”

“Yeah, those were some of the tamer ones.” At the time you'd been annoyed by Merle's constant need to remind you that the three of you were better and more superior than anything and anyone around you, but all this time without him and his humorous outlook on life, you missed it. You even missed when he'd belittle you, at the end of the day he still was sexist, despite the obvious care he held for you. 

“Why'd you ask though?” 

“Dunno.”

“Daryl.”

“Everyone's safe now, ain't gotta worry about ‘em anymore.” 

You kept quiet as he fought for the words to convey his thoughts. It was obvious he felt like the odd man out again, it was impossible not to, in a place as nice as Alexandria. The rest of the group had effortlessly slipped into their places in the new environment, if you were an onlooker, it would look as if time had frozen in place for the small neighborhood and its citizens. 

But Daryl, and you, it wasn't easy like that. You never had a normal life like this, so you had no default state to regress to. Daryl had only changed a little since the start, and you hadn't changed much at all. Your skin felt like it was burning with electricity at the insinuation in his words. 

“I'll go wherever you go, you know that.” You nodded firmly. “Just say the word.”

He ended up going to Carol with his vague plan, and then Rick. You don't know what they said to him, but the next morning he told you he wanted to give it a few days before he made his decision.

You should've just made the decision for him. You should have grabbed your stuff, packed your bags, and stole one of their cars and left. Because a few days turned into a hell of a lot longer. 

It wasn't all bad, the two of you grew even closer due to his feelings of being an outcast once again surfacing. It was the same for you, which caused you to cling onto him tighter than before. You slept on the same ratty mattress in your room, sometimes cuddling, but most of the time on separate ends.

You watched more people die around you, which was something you'd become bitterly accustomed to. Aiden, one of Deanna’s sons, and Noah, who you'd never spoken to before. Rick made some trouble for himself getting wrapped up in the wife of the town surgeon, and all hell broke loose after that. Pete lost his shit and accidentally killed Deanna's husband, and Rick killed Pete. As if there hadn't been enough blood shed, a hoard of walkers became an issue just as things started to calm down. 

You didn't like the role that'd been assigned to you. You were being seen and tasked as a protector, sent out by Rick with Abraham and a handful of others to build strategic walls for his master plan of relocating the hoard. 

Another thing you didn't like was the way people's views towards you changed. People who once never even spared you a second thought were speaking to you, making an effort to get to know you, and it was just as unsettling as that time Rick invited you over for dinner. 

“Too pretty to be so sad all the time.” Abraham had said once as you dug a hole for the wooden pillar. 

“I'm not sad.” You muttered, stepping back as three men lifted the wood into the hole. You poured in the instant concrete and took your gloves off to get a drink of water.

“So you just always have that sour look on your face then, huh?” 

“Only when I'm around people I don't know.” Or like, you thought to yourself. 

“I've known you for how long now? Course you know me. And Sasha, and Rosita, and-”

“You're people I'm stuck with. Doesn't mean I know you.” 

“Tsh.” He snorted, folding his massive arms across his equally massive chest. “So you're just a bitch then?” 

“Yeah.” 

One would think that conversation would've been enough to get the point across. No, sadly, it only made things worse. Rick ended up giving you jobs with more people, and you quickly caught onto the convenient way Daryl was almost never in those assigned groups. 

Rick was in charge, that was undebatable, but he wasn't in charge of your free will. You did your work as he asked, most of the time faster than expected, and spent every second of your free time with Daryl, even if it meant pulling four different jobs a day. 

It worked like that for a while, and eventually you did begin to change. Not you exactly, moreso your attitude had changed. You became less closed off, no longer baring teeth and claws as a constant warning. You actually enjoyed spending time with Abraham, as he was one of the only people that called you out for being shitty, he wasn't scared of your mean mug or the harsh bite of your words. It wasn't just Abraham you started to like. Maggie, Carol, Rosita, Michonne, and sometimes Tara, the small group shifted from strangers to acquaintances, some would call you their friend. They'd eventually worn down your hard exterior and you experimented a little with conversation and generosity. Carol was the exception, it was you who had to pursue her. Trying to become genuine friends with her was hard, it made you realize how hard everyone else had been trying with you. 

You even started decorating your room a bit. Nothing fancy, just a few homemade shelves and displays for your numerous weapons. You made a special one above your futon, the only object it held was the small gold tinted shell of a used bullet. 

All good things must come to an end. 

You sat alone in your shared room for the third night in a row, silent on your lumpy mattress, your eyes burning in effort to hold back tears. 

He hadn't even told you he was leaving. 

@ophelialaufey @carlgrimesgfofficial @theskinniestjackson-denny @dilfish-daydreams @my1fx @jinx-nanami

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Pie || Tim x Reader. You bake Tim his favorite dessert

It’s not often that Tim feels drawn to the kitchen by a delicious smell. The only people other than him who are great at cooking in the mansion usually are Slender and Jane, and both of them are out on missions right now, leaving him both confused and intrigued by the delicious smell wafting up through the vents, until Tim finally places the smell; apple pie. Unable to resist the temptation, he makes his way downstairs to peek quickly into the kitchen, but he wasn’t expecting the sight before him.

You're bent over the kitchen island, trying to make sure the dessert before you looks as delicious as it smells, flour coating your form despite the fact that you have one of Tim's nice aprons covering most of your body. You go to wipe some sweat off your brow, but that only serves to smear some flour across your forehead. He can't help but inwardly laugh, imagining you standing there watching it bake in the oven with so much trepidation that you can't even get cleaned up while it bakes. As much as he wanted to stay hidden and keep watching from a distance you glance up, spot him by the door, and look at him like a deer in headlights. 

"I didn't think you'd be down yet." Is all you can manage to say, causing him to chuckle as he makes his way over to you.

"How could I resist the temptation of such a delicious smell?" A smile decorates his face as he stands beside you, looking down at the quite large apple pie in front of you, his hands resting on his hips.

Slender has some larger pans for when he wants to bake one thing for everyone, and it seems that was the pan you believed would be best. Tim glances at you, and you avoid making eye contact, choosing instead to stare down at the pie before you. It's noticeable that it was your first time baking such a large pie, as the lattice design you chose to do doesn't quite fit correctly, but despite that, the pie looks quite nice and smells wonderful. Tim's stomach growls, agreeing with him on that, and he can't help but laugh along with you at the noise. 

"May I try a bite?" The question leaves him with a smile, and you can't help but shift nervously before him.

"If you really want to... I wanted to make something yummy for you since you're always doing so much for me, but I wasn't sure how well it would turn out." Your voice is unconfident, and Tim shakes his head at you, wrapping his arms around you in a comforting hug, not minding as the flour covering you spreads to him as well.

"Honey, it smells incredible. Even if it didn't, you know I'd eat it. Anything made by you is well worth eating, trust me." He presses a soothing kiss to your temple, and you can't help but sigh as you lean into him. Tim always had a way of relaxing you, and you felt the exhaustion of making such a big pie hitting you as your arms wrapped around his waist.

"If you really think you'll like it, feel free to each as much as you want." You acquiesce to him, letting go of him to cut him a slice.

Tim couldn't help but lick his lips as he watched you, grabbing a nearby plate and fork, holding the plate out to you as you delicately set the still steaming piece of pie onto it for him. You watched him anxiously, hands clasped in front of you as you breathed in deeply. He took quite a hefty first bite, chewing thoughtfully as he considered the taste, a large smile coming to his lips, nodding his head in excitement at the flavor. The tension leaves your body as you return his smile, thankful that you succeeded in making something delicious.

"You really like it?" You ask him, your smile growing as he nods at you again.

"I told you it would be well worth eating, sweetheart." He said through another mouthful of pie, and you couldn't help but laugh at him, leaping forward to wrap your arms around him in another hug. A noise of surprise slipped out of him as he lifted his plate up so you could hug him, and he smiled down at you affectionately, patting your head with his other hand. 

He reassured you as he continued eating, making comments on all the wonderful things you did while making it, like how perfectly you sliced the apples, and how you got the seasoning just right. He finished the piece without a single complaint, patting you on the head and pressing an apple flavored kiss to your lips as thanks for the meal, smiling at you lovingly as a few small giggles slipped out of you. Unbeknownst to you, however, a mischievous grin made its way onto his face as he pulled you closer.

"Although, I think there's only one thing that's more delicious than the pie..." You blinked up at him in surprise at his statement, preparing to question him on what he meant, but before you could, you let out a gasp as he scooped you off the floor and into his arms.

"And I've got it right here!" He yelled out, laughing as he took off sprinting for the stairs, your body bouncing up and down as he went, laughs tumbling out of you as you tried to cling onto him. 

[starlightsuffered]

Hot and Cold

Warnings - Smut, oral (male and female receiving), ice play, unprotected sex, degrading talk, dirty talk, sub male, begging, mentions of masturbation, sitting on face

My roommate, Timothée, had started doing something horrible. It was bad enough that he sometimes walked around in his boxers, I couldn't take much more of this. My crush on him had been growing steadily.

He had started jogging. When he came back, he was in tight clothing, with messy, damp, hair, and sweat dripping down him. It was a glorious, tempting, sight. I would watch him avidly as he grabbed a water bottle and downed it in one go. His Adam's apple would bob, making me want to suck on his throat. Some of the water would spill from his mouth and trickle down to mix with the beads of sweat.

I never wanted him as much as I did after his run. I'd always return to my room to masturbate to the thought of him. It took all my strength not to pounce on him.

I was reading a book in the living room. I was content, knowing it was Saturday, and Timmy didn't jog on Saturdays. He generally went to parties on Friday nights, so he slept in on Saturdays.

A bang sounded as someone slammed open the door. I looked in horror to see that Timothée had gone for a run.

I hadn't heard him leave, fuck!

He came in, shaking his hair out of his face. He was headed to the kitchen. As if in a trance, I followed him. He was pulling out a mug, pouring ice chips in it. He took a few in his mouth and sucked. It was the sucking that broke me.

"Can you stop that?" I demanded. He looked at me in shock and confusion. I didn't usually talk like this.

"I'm hot," he lisped, over the ice.

I grabbed his hand in a firm grip. I was barreling down the hall, with him in tow. He was asking questions, but I gave no answers. Once I had him in my room, l rifled through my drawers.

"What is going on?"

"Do you have any idea, what you do to me?" I asked him. He still looked confused, and shook his head slowly.

"Are you mad about something?" He asked. "Did I leave the toilet seat up again?"

"This is what you to do me," I said, and waved my vibrator in his face. I clicked the button over and over, but nothing happened because it was out of charge from over use.

"I don't think I understand," he said, he was still confused, but now his cheeks were bright pink.

"This," I said as I snatched the ice cup from his hand and put it on the table. I stuck the hand I held, down into my panties, where I was soaked. "Is what you do to me."

"Oh, fuck," he said as he felt my wetness.

"Understand now?" I asked.

"Y-yeah, I do," he stuttered, hands moving from out of my panties. His fingers were covered in slick.

"You have no idea the things I want to do to you," I murmured to him as I looked into his eyes.

"Do them," he replied.

I was instantly pushing him onto the bed. I kissed him with a nearly bruising force. He was eager to return the passion. My hands ran down the tight running outfit he was wearing, moving to his crotch. I rubbed him over his pants. He gasped into the kiss. I loved the sound.

"Take off your clothes," | ordered. He did what I asked, peeling off the articles, until he was just in his boxers.

"You look like a dream," I said, and then I noticed the ice cup still on my bedside table.

"What are you doing?" He said as I shifted.

"You said you were hot right?" I asked as I took some of the ice chips.

"Yeah," he said warily.

"Well, we need to cool you down," smiled. I dropped a couple of pieces on his chest and he hissed. I used a lazy finger to move them around his torso. I traced his nipples, and brushed them lightly with my thumb.

"Ohhhh," he blew out a breath.

"Like that?" | asked.

"Mmmhmmm," he nodded. I placed some more on his chest, and then some into my mouth. I palmed him over his boxers as I swirled the ice chips over his chest and up his neck. He was squirming with delight, little desperate noises leaving his mouth.

"Now you know how I feel," I told him. "Every time you'd come back from a run, or wear only your boxers around, or wear your whorish clothing to parties on Fridays."

"That desperate for me huh?" He asked, trying to retrieve back some of the power.

"Oh very," | told him, as I replaced the ice with my tongue. I licked designs on his chest and nipples as he panted.

I licked a stripe up his neck, before sucking the skin into my mouth. I wanted to mark him. I suckled at his neck like a vampire, and I relished the taste of his salty skin.

I sat back up, looking at the lovely purple mark l'd made. He was looking at me desperately, eyes wide with need. I took more ice into my mouth. I shifted down so I could take his boxers off.

looked at his throbbing cock with lust. He was so big, so hard, it made my core pulse. I flattened my tongue on the head of his cock. He moaned in delight.

"More, please," he begged. I smiled and took him into my waiting mouth. He threw his head back in pleasure.

The cold stimulated him even more as his length and the ice chips swirled in my mouth. He was moaning loudly as he bucked his hips. I went down as far as I could, using my hand to work the part I couldn't fit.

"I'm close," he shuddered. I popped off him, and I heard his wine. I got off the bed entirely. He sat up, immediately, worried I was going to leave him wanting for all the times he'd done it to me. I was just getting started.

I slowly took off my shirt. He was staring in wide eyed wonder. I unclasped my bra, and my breasts bounced free.

Next, I took off my pants. As I did this, I watched him gather some ice chips in his mouth.

I approached the bed. He immediately began to knead my breasts, looking up into my eyes. Then he dipped down, taking my peaked nipples in his mouth. The cold made my nipples even harder as his tongue danced over them. I moaned as he sucked gently.

"Get on the bed and sit on my face," he pleaded. I nodded eagerly, I watched him take more ice. I positioned myself over him when he'd laid back down. I lowered myself and he began to devour me. It was as if he were a hungry animal. The freezing temperature of his tongue made it all the more enticing. His tongue circled my clit before he sucked it into his mouth. I moaned his name, and began to grind down. I rode his face as he gripped my hips, and I felt my orgasm begin to build. I toppled over the edge into it, and it overtook me. My thighs were clamping around his head as I screamed.

When I came down, I removed myself to see a very proud looking Timothée.

"I'm so hard for you," he said. "Fuck me, please."

"Absolutely," | said, moving down so I could sink onto him, but I wanted to tease him first. I grabbed his cock, and pressed just the head into my entrance.

"Go down," he said.

"I don't think I will," | said as I made the movement to ride his head. In and out, I teased his cock, and I could see how needy and desperate it was making him.

"Please!" He begged, trying to rut up into me, so he would be fully inside me.

"Patience," I chuckled. "I had to have it."

He wined, but stilled his hips. I rewarded his obedience by finally sinking all the way down on him.

"Holy Fuck," Timothée whimpered.

"This is what I think about when I touch myself," I told him as I bounced on his dick.

"Shit," Timothée wheezed, as I sped up. He filled me so well. My imagination had not done him justice. I was already close again.

"Say you want me Timothée," I said.

"I want you, I want you so much, fuck," he cried as I continued.

"Say you're my slut," I urged.

"I'm your slut, fuck me whenever you want, use me," he begged.

"Whose whore are you?"

"Yours, fuuuuuck," he was a mess, panting and groaning, nails digging into my hips.

"Who gets to use you like a toy? Who owns your cock?"

"You own my cock baby, it's yours, oh it's yours."

"Would you like to cum, Timothée?" | asked him, as I stopped all movement.

He was frantic. "Yes, please, please. I'll do whatever you want. Please let me cum!"

"That's a good boy," | chuckled and slammed down on him again. With one pulse, he was filling me. I broke again at the feeling, gasping, and whimpering as my walls fluttered around him.

"Why, in God's name, have we not done that sooner?" Timothée implored me as we came down.

[socheckitout-mikey]

heeey these weren't requested, i just thought i'd do a little bit of writing for john, one of my fav pb characters! i'm also new to writing for pb, but i've been a fan for a long time now. i hope you like what i came up with. lemme know what you think. - mae

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

disclaimer: THERE ARE 18+ PARTS IN THIS PIECE SO MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI!!!! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!!!!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Dating John Shelby Hc's:

° John is one charming man. He's cocky as hell and comes into your life like a flirtatious whirlwind. He blunders straight to your heart upon the hearty spirits in glasses and the promises of a good life with him. He surely did not disappoint… in areas where danger doesn't lurk.

° He's wild and reckless with his temper, yet you even him out when he goes too far (even if you're also wild). Where you enjoy having fun with him and stirring up some trouble, you also value the freedom of neither of you being incarcerated. You're his rock and with one look he lays off, - when you're not looking of course -. However he hates the idea of disappointing you.

° His family business is a daunting enterprise to get behind. Whether you were there from the start or further down the line, it seems it has always stirred up rumours and turmoil - only getting worse as the years tick by. You fear for your family's lives regularly, but he promises to always keep you safe (even if he doesn't make it). And he has done a tremendous job of it so far, so why doubt him now? You make do with it and John wants you having no part of it, but sometimes you are needed - though Tommy and Polly both agree to keep it minimal.

° Embracing this part of his life, along with his mad family is certainly not easy, but you have managed it in the only way you know how.

° John is so protective over you that it at times makes you laugh. He doesn't particularly share fondness with the fact that you laugh at him, but it gets him grinning in the end.

"What are you laughin' at, eh?" John hums against your lips just as he's pulled you into his lap on a night out at The Garrison.

"You. Who else?" You murmur with a smile against his lips and a slick eyebrow cocked.

"Arthur. He's the one who fell on his arse earlier." He makes do of reminding you.

"That he did," you nod, fiddling with the collar of his tailored suit, "but you're the sorry git who's worrying about your wife walking your children home on her own."

"Sorry git?" John seems to partly take offence to it, you see it in the way his eyebrows pinch together. "Well excuse my arse for worryin' about you. I thought spouses loved that sentimental sort of shite?" He's somewhat playful, but his tone is deepening.

"Now that's the biggest word I've ever heard come out of your mouth!" You giggle, your eyes dancing with mischief.

John isn't pleased one bit. His palm strikes your ass once as a warning, "I know plenty of big words, dove. I can use 'em on you if you'd like."

"Is that a threat or a promise? And here I thought you were a gentleman." You giggle, leaning in to steal a kiss from him.

"A gentleman. What are you on?" He snorts before letting you steal that kiss from him. It's a bit too seductive for it being in front of others, but John doesn't care. However, as soon as its started, it's over and he's gathered you to your feet with a twirl under his arm. "Right, kids let's go home!" He bellows.

You're forced to roll your eyes in retaliation, "Oh for goodness-sake John! We're in Small Heath, nothing is going to happen to me and the children!"

"You're gettin' mouthier by the second, love." He stares down at you.

"Am I? I hardly noticed." You say innocently, grabbing your eldest daughters small hand in yours. When John doesn't answer you, you continue with, "Are you going to use those big words on me to keep me in line?"

His hot breath fans against your ear as he speaks lowly, "Hmmm, I'm more of an action man. " It's low and laced in seduction.

Your eyes grow dark as you stare up at him, "Should I be fearing for my life Mr. Shelby?"

"You will once I 'ave you all to myself."

° All admirers of you are to be warned because John Shelby doesn't share! He's a jealous man and rather possessive - even a simple look from someone else can be totally misread, especially if he's in a bad mood. John will cut them fresh smiles with his razor blade and give them something truly worth crying about. Nobody touches or tries to get in about with his partner.

° He likes to make a show out of it, to let them know exactly how crazy you are about him. He wants your attention on him, revelling in the notion when they walk in on you both getting busy somewhere risqué. He's got that devilish grin etched into his features as they rush off all flustered. You're just as red as they are, the moment almost ruined, but he dives make in for more with his soft pink lips whispering against the shell of your ear, "I'm not through with you yet, dove."

° John certainly has a dirty mouth and he knows how to use it. He likes to either embarrass or seduce you with it. It depends on the day, but more often than not it's the latter.

° John is softer with you and let's more of his sensitive qualities come to the surface in private. He has a lot of heart behind the funny, charming and cocky man with a lack of filter. Most people see it in the way he interacts with your children. The beast lays down its razor blade for some time to be engulfed in innocence as he plays.

° Other opportunities for his softer moments to come forward are during times where he thinks others aren't looking. It can just be a fleeting moment where he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear or presses a tender kiss on your forehead. Whatever it is, he adores showering you in his affections and to spoil you rotten. That dopey grin etches onto his handsome features, which never fails to make you swoon, as he tells you another dirty joke.

° He knows it'll get him a well deserved smack to the chest or a clip round the ear if someone else hears it, but you're laughing nonetheless.

° That laughter and smile of yours are truly like drugs to him. He wants to be the only one who ever invokes such happiness from you and feels immense pride when he's the source of it.

° Seeing you tend to the kids makes his stomach flutter with butterflies. He's won the jackpot and he can't be any happier because his children from Martha love you just as much as the children that are of your own blood. He makes sure to show you his gratitude.

° Family holidays to Blackpool or the seaside are a must! Riding donkeys on the shoreline and investigating all sorts of fun things bring so much joy to your hearts. Wherever the destination, it always turns out to be so much fun.

° You get along with his family. They quite literally adore you and think you're the perfect match for the likes of John. Arthur loves you the most since he's the closest to John. It's very comforting to know that there's always someone there in your corner when John isn't around.

° You know fine well that Arthur is gentle around you. He does his best to mind his language and when John cannot take you home, Arthur will. He gives you his arm and takes your safety very seriously. He is always complimenting you. You know that deep down, this is truly who Arthur is and are one of the few who nurtures his gentler domineer with kindness.

° When you're worried about John, Arthur always comforts you to the best of his gruff abilities. Often wrapping his arm around your shoulders and giving you a much too hard tight squeeze.

"Don't you worry, love. If I know Johnny-boy, he'd fight right out of Hell to get home to you safe and sound. I promise you that, because I'll be fighting him outta there for ya! Now, where's that pretty smile of yours?" He'd wink.

Good old Arthur.

° Polly and Ada love to go out on the town with you! A bit of fellow girl time is what you need after all. Especially with all of your children wanting your attention constantly. Polly and Ada know how to make you feel confident, taking you to lovely boutiques in town to get new dresses fit for the next special occasion, you name it! Nothing is better than sitting around the fire at the end of the day with your girls, drinking glasses of ice cold brandy whilst filling each other in with the latest gossip!

° Fights with John are often and they can be very passionate on both ends. Screaming matches and foul tempers to match, it usually ends up in two ways: In each other's arms, entangled in bed sheets or with John storming off. You hate the latter with a passion as you feel entrapped to the house and with the children, all whilst John is free to do as he pleases - usually going on a three day bender.

° Yet when he returns home with a killer hangover, under his grouchy domineer is remorse. You can see it from the corner of your eyes rolling off of him in powerful waves when you won't so much as glance at him or speak with him. Even his charm will not undo the hurt he has created. But it's his gruff softness as he engulfs you in his arm from behind. You may fight him, but when he says his signature, "Come off it, dove! No more fighting... I've missed you,"

° That- that is when you wave your white flag and allow him to shower you in all of the love he can muster. It goes beyond what he can ever communicate through his words. He's all about actions in these moments.

° The banter between you two would make outsiders believe you hated one another. But the entire family knows that the playful insults you sling at each other are just that - playful. You're always messing with one another - even when the other gets offended.

"Awe, how charming! I managed to slay one of the Shelby puppies!" You coo at him mockingly.

"Shelby puppies- I'll 'ave you know that with a face like yours, I'm surprised I even married you." He slings back at you.

Now it's your turn to be offended.

° The blood sport you both engage in is that of pranks. They're like full fledged wars if you're not careful. Where you can be sneaky, don't forget that John can be sneakier - he is a criminal after all.

° You know fine well that John intends to marry you - if you're not already married. With his charm and good looks, how can you not want to marry him?

° All in all, love with John never gets boring. Even though you have your many ups and many downs, one thing rings true at the end of each day: You're both absolutely madly in love with one another. You wouldn't have it any other way and neither would he.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

please like, reblog and follow for more!

requests: open!

[staraxiaa]

porcelain, the afterword:

author's corner/first thoughts.

first and foremost: upon rereading, a scene in this fic holds a lot of similarities to one from dust, diamonds on ao3 by maokitty. (the jealousy scene w the husband where the wall crumbles) especially with the dialogue. i was definitely taking inspiration from that fic while writing the scene, and wanted to make a note of it here. go read it even if ur not into aot pls bc it’s actually life-changing !! i beat my sunflower record btw this was 25k ish words written in less than 20 total writing hours. spread over 1.5 days total. also i think i fucked up the pacing a lot from what id originally planed buuut at least its over. dobby is finally free!!! anyways. the original intent for this fic was a discussion on body imagery, to anyone who has ever struggled with the unrealistic standards of social media and/or felt lesser than themselves because they were not beautiful in a 'typical' manner. but then it ballooned into a monster of its own bc i was like how can i make this hurt. i took my inspiration from porcelain + kintsugi vases... like how can i break this reader before i put her back together. i think that i'd like to touch upon similar topics again one day. as a natural extension of my style and the way i write that 'fits' the childhood theme of this collection, i don't believe i handled these topics the best i could've: a lot of them are simplified to a point that, looking back, makes me go 'eugh' a bit because there's so much depth there that i had to like, tamp down upon as a result of my own inexperience. parts of it were likely believable, and parts of it likely weren't - whether because of my youth, or because i was afraid of approaching these topics from the 'wrong' angle. either way, i hope to be able to grow as a writer to the point that i can tackle these themes again to a point where i myself can be sufficiently pleased with the depth i've put into it. that is all. if you've read up to here, thank you. i'm not really expecting this one to do nearly as well as sunflowers - the content is heavier, it's not nearly as light, and shouto is just less of a popular character overall. but this is very likely my magnum opus so far in terms of how much thought has been put into the work, so it means a lot to me even if you do not interact, and simply read up til this point. thank you. your support truly means a lot. will also update again as i think of things

unwritten scenes, headcanons, thought process

another angst scene. at the todoroki forgiveness dinner table, katsuki and izuku are probably there. i havent watched this scene i just know it exists. (was gonna go find it just for research). enji hits shouto with the 'you can marry whoever you'd like' thing majig. shouto's like, cool i didnt give a shit anyways i was gonna marry her. with or without your permission. and THEN i hit you with the akshually... she's engaged... to be honest, a lot more scenes where it was just mother and daughter. i really wanted the point to hit home that, the mother is always intending to do good in the only ways she knows how - it's not discussed thoroughly, and she's obviously a negative influence when it matters most, which is why reader cuts her off at the end. i am a firm believer that not all parenting is good parenting, even when it comes from a good place, and to me it's like when you hurt someone - it doesn't matter your intention, because that should always come secondary to the fact that you hurt them in some way. sorry. i'm not sure if cutting completely out of the life like that was necessary, but i think that in real life, sometimes it is. something to think abt / regret abt this piece ig lots more on the brother. he was not seen a lot, and i cba to include more about him cuz tbh he's only really relevant for like... 2 scenes but basically the tl;dr is that. he also feels the same pressure. it's just offscreen. (he's a man, he's his father's heir, but he sees the impact this family has upon you). i honestly think he's pookie and hold him dear to my heart but he was really just there to get the plot moving... so.... sorry guys. i didnt even bother to give him a name. BUT hes definitely a very complex character i just didnt write it..... i just needed to add a little happiness to the dysfunctional family ok the husband. okay. so. i originally wrote him in with the intention of being someone to hate, entirely and utterly, with the whole of my heart. but i absolutely hate writing in characters that don't have at least some depth/some complexity, so here goes: he was definitely in love, i think, though i'm not sure i would call it that. there was a grooming aspect to it, an age gap difference (he attended all your recitals/performances when you were underage, had his eye on you), was twice your age. i think i wrote it in a way where it could definitely be interpreted as a form of love, as twisted and fucked up as it was⏤ in the way you think of ownership, that a pretty woman is nothing more than a flower to give the sun to, to water when you'd like. but you're not. you're more than that, you need more than food and water and a roof over your head, more than pretty jewels. you just couldn't love him, and i think that's the part that fucked with him the most. the husband was always supposed to die. i toyed with different versions of this⏤ if you should be the one to kill him, a final 'hurrah' when you finally find your courage. but i thought this wasn't very in line with the reader characterization, so i didn't include this. it's ok though u guys are always #1 bosses in my heart. i hope its clear though that the reader didnt love him at any point bc i dont like him enough as a character to give him that. sorry. he was also supposed to be a mafia man... did i make that clear... but both him and the father were like. i hate these characters. the father especially (he has 0 characterization he's only plot relevant bc he has to be). wipe them both from ur minds pls xx in terms of the baby: i actually know nothing about motherhood. this is only what i've done from the best of my imagination. if it isn't accurate at all i apologize.

i did not know tumblr had a max characters per block. i yap a lot huh. anyways on to cute shouto moments <3 i really considered the idea of like. sex scenes. nothing graphic, but tl;dr with shouto when you cry, he stops immediately. this would be near the end, when you're learning to live again, but it's like, you're so moved because no one has ever done it like this for you before, and he's just worried that he's done something wrong, and it's sad but it's like. you don't know if you can ever handle touch again, but bc you're married, you think it's your duty, and you also love him, so you want to try. you guys love each other so much i could sob. i didnt add this just bc i didnt think this was the fic i wanted to start nsfw with, and bc i dont think i could do the intimacy i wanted justice. also tbh i debated on including more thoughts of shouto during the relationship with the husband but i think, while the mc would definitely think of him, she would try her best to be a good wife. i think this is textbook of abusive relationships (i tried to portray that in the way that the husband speaks and turns the fault onto mc when he hits her) where naturally, they abuse you despite you already doing the best you can, and make you feel lesser for it. i.e. she hasn't thought about shouto the whole while, hasn't done anything, doesn't intend on it, and he still blames her for the way she feels. DID I EMPHASIZE THAT HE PICKS UP EVERY CALL EVEN THO U DONT TEXT HIM ANYMORE JUST IN CASE bc shouto todoroki the man that you are... the man i wrote you as... im never marrying idgaf i write my own standards too high i also jus wanna say guys... the way u pull him out of his shell... and then its his turn to pull him out of urs.... i am a SUCKER for stories that come full circle watch me write it into mermaid au anyways im so excited!!!!! in another world, shouto is the one to catch you. somehow he's in your penthouse apartment. the man's holding a knife to your throat (??) or it's your husband trying to save his own skin. in some variations you walk off the edge yourself, in some variations your husband pushes you, in some variations it's the man. i thought this fit better. either way in all of them he was supposed to dive off the fucking building after u but i also thought: he can't be there himself but he makes sure ur taken care of anyways. sort of fitting the characterization i had for him, i think. i rlly considered a kiss scene too but it'd be sort of natural. like stepping into someone's warmth and feeling entirely comfortable in it, knowing it's what you want and knowing it's also what he wants. at the end. but i didn't add it. wouldve been sweet but unnecessary bc i think this would be further down the line and would require a separate scene. once again i scoot free of my kiss-writing responsibilities ! ! ! more on this, though, i think i really like writing about how simple intimacy can be. i do not believe you need to be physically affectionate with someone to love them, though you certainly can be, and i hope this was reflected in the way i portrayed both shouto and reader. in my dreams we are shouto's sugar babies and just vibe for the rest of our lives. and that is all. the smallest things the reader does make him so happy like. slowly. you guys are already holding hands, so a kiss on the cheek would make him the happiest man on earth. oh here's a bonus scene: at some point he takes you out to see the fireworks. the two of you are sitting, you're tucked snugly into his side, you're watching the fireworks, but when you turn, he's watching you. it's so stupidly romantic. you probably ask him what he's looking at and hes just like 'you'. you flush a little. he kisses the top of your head, grinning like the little shit he is.

i also think it'd take a length of time to get married, so you guys probably do kiss sometime before then. no clue about the scene. but canonically (aka in my head) you guys are just having a normal conversation. like Normal Normal. nothing fancy. and all of a sudden you just lean in and kiss him on the corner of his lips. he touches it, and you can see the shock on his face. dunno if you lie and say 'something there i was just getting it for you' bc im a sucker for that but he only leans a little closer and asks you to do it again. i'd like to think man is patient even tho he desperately wants to (like to the point it's painful to watch) so you have to tell him straight up it's okay to do anything, when you're ready: i.e. initiate kisses and anything else later down the line. once he gets the green light though there's no stopping (he will immediately if u ever tell him) like in my head this man has been basically touch starved all his life and he YEARNS. everyone say thank you to the anon who prompted these scenes btw notes on reader: i think what i wanted to explore with this piece was the way that your parents, the environment you grow up in, the role models you have can shape how you grow a lot. but that does not mean you need to stay that way forever. and that even if you do, you are not necessarily 'weak' or any lesser. reader never actually stood up for herself until the very end, but she was strong in her own way. she tried her best to be a good wife, even when she practically hated her husband. she persevered, she tried her best to love her child. things were bleak, but she pulled through; she kept on living, she kept on breathing. and that was enough. she was enough! <33 i also don't know if this reader was a very believable one. a lot of what i explored here was an extension of some of my own experiences, but like. i simply have not experienced a lot of it personally, unlike with my other pieces, and not at all to the same depth. i hope that there are people out there that can resonate with her and her experiences, but like not in a fucked up way. i simply hope that this story can make someone out there feel seen/heard, even if it's just a little. also putting this here to say, i tried to write reader in a way where it made her thoughts read off as like. ingrained into her? but that the way she thinks is not supposed to be normalized. please love yourselves. just wanted to make that clear djsklsfjd

[coldfanbou]

Invitation

Here is the fabled Dahyun piece. Sorry for the delay. Nothing too rough here. Please enjoy.

Length 1.6K

Dahyun x M reader

The cameras focused on Dahyun as she stepped out of her car. She would stop and pose a few times for the camera allowing for a good view of her hourglass figure. Eventually, she could make it inside and watch the fashion show. You had spotted her when she arrived but waited until the show began to make yourself known. Taking the open seat next to her, you take her attention off the models walking past. "Keep looking at the models." You remind her. "It's nice to see you again, Dahyun." You can see Dahyun's head twitch slightly as she struggles to keep her eyes on the runway. 

"I thought you weren't going to come." 

"Well, I had some free time, and a friend had to drop out last minute." The noise disguises your conversation, allowing you to talk freely. "Are you free after this?"

"I should be; I can make time for you anyway."

"Oh really?" You say with amusement in your voice.

"Always, after all, I feel such a rush. Doing it."

"You enjoy it that much?" 

"I've been thinking about you since last time. I'm wet just talking to you." As you glance at her legs, you notice her rubbing them together as she continues. "So, where are you staying? Or are you going to come to my room?"

"I'll pass you a note after I come back; just keep the dress. I want to take it off myself." Dahyun's smile grows, and she stomps her feet with glee. You leave to write a note for Dahyun about where she should go after the show. Once you return, you drop the message in her bag and watch the models go by. Dahyun's smile remains the entire show as she waits for it to end. As it does, you say, "I'll see you there, Dahyun." You stand up and leave while Dahyun does any business she has left.

In your hotel room, you wait for Dahyun to arrive. Deciding to have a little fun, you hide away in the room. You watch as she enters, still wearing that black dress. She looks around. She walks toward the edge of the room and looks down at the passersby. From the tenth floor, everyone looked like ants. Dahyun continued to be distracted by the view; you came out of your hiding spot and got behind her. Putting your hands on her waist, you began to kiss her neck. Small coos escape her as she tries to turn around. "Just keep taking in the view, Dahyun." Moving up her body, you start fondling her breasts. You can feel her nipples poke through the dress as they harden. "Looks like you came prepared." 

"Of course, I want to enjoy your company for as long as possible. That makes it easier." You start to undo her dress while pressing her against the window. 

"Just imagine all those people watching you get fucked, Dahyun." She visibly shakes upon hearing that. "You love the idea, don't you? You want everyone to see the famous Kim Dahyun being fucked."

Dahyun's breath gets heavy as her dress falls to the floor. "I do."

"That’s what I thought. It's too bad we can't do that. After all, your career would crash and burn if you did." You slap Dahyun's ass and watch it jiggle. "Tell me what you want, Dahyun." 

"I want you to fuck me…" she says, turning her head to look at you. You give her a quick kiss while you slide your cock between her thighs. 

"Is that all you want, Dahyun? I'm hurt." She quickly turns her head back to the window.

"I-I'd also like to go out with you." Her stutter makes you smile as you thrust between her legs, rubbing her folds with your cock.

"You could say fuck me so easily, but you stutter with asking me out." You can't help but laugh before continuing, "That's so cute, Dahyun. If you have the time, we could go out together, but you'd need to get rid of your manager." Your hands slither up her back and grab onto her bare breasts. Dahyun groans as your warm hands replace the cool glass. 

"I'll get rid of him. I'll do it. Just make me feel good now." At her insistence, you start to flick her nipples. Your fingers circle the small nubs before running across them and back. You feel your cock become slick as Dahyun's juices begin to coat it. 

"Good, that's good, Dahyun." You nip at her neck, tempted to leave hickeys on her pale skin. "I'll give you what you want, Dahyun."  Your right hand momentarily leaves Dahyun's breast to align your cock with her pussy. As you poke and prod at her entrance, Dahyun whines.

"Put it in. Please give me your cock." She begins to moan as she feels your cock slipping inside, spreading her apart. Her warm, slippery walls make you groan in pleasure; Dahyun was always so tight. "Yes…yes…yes," Dahyun chants in a low moan; she rests her head on your chest as you finish burying yourself inside her. You let Dahyun act as a cock warmer for a second, enjoying the feeling of her walls clamped down on your cock. Your hands leave her breasts as you grab onto her waist. You slowly pull your cock out and then slam yourself back in. Dahyun moans loudly as you pierce her. 

"That’s it, Dahyun; let me know how good it feels." You moan as you pick up the pace. You watch as her soft ass jiggles each time your bodies come together. Dahyun continues to moan as you stir her insides with every thrust. 

"Oh, it feels so good. I love feeling your cock inside me." You watch Dahyun's face as she says that and more. Her eyes are closed, her cheeks flush and turning her milky skin a light shade of red. Wanting to see more of her, you pull out and turn her around. "What are you doing?" She asks before you ram your cock back into her. You hold her thighs and move to her ass, lifting her. Dahyun clutches you tightly as gravity brings her down, forcing your cock deeper. "Oh, God!" She cries as you start bucking your hips. Dahyun rises and falls quickly, your cock slamming into her. You can feel her nails dig into your skin as Dahyun's moans grow louder and her walls begin to squeeze down on your cock. "I'm gonna cum…I'm cumming!" She screams. While she goes through the throes of ecstasy, you continue thrusting. You give Dahyun a hard strike on her bottom as she cums.

"That’s it, Dahyun, cum for me." You say before kissing her. Dahyun returns it with enthusiasm; you play with her tongue as she comes down from her high. She mumbles something while you do so. "What was that, Dahyun?"

"I want you to cum inside me. I can feel your cock throbbing." It was true you were getting close to your orgasm, and hearing Dahyun's invitation, you accepted it. You start to thrust into her like a piston; Dahyun wraps her legs around you as you get closer. Kissing Dahyun, you begin to unload inside her. Dahyun's eyes widen for a moment before closing as she enjoys your warm cum filling her. Her grip on you softens as you press her back against the window. You break the kiss when you feel empty, despite Dahyun trying to milk you for more. You lay Dahyun down on the bed and watch her chest rise and fall. Your cum flows out of her pussy. Dahyun doesn't rest for long, instead lifting herself up and kneeling on the floor. She grabs your cock and strokes it. "I want a taste here, too," she says while using your cock to trace her lips. She pops the head of your cock in her mouth, using her tongue to lick it clean.

"You got a lot better at this, Dahyun. Have you been practicing with someone else?" Dahyun shakes her head vigorously. 

"No, I've bought a toy to use. I wanted to get better for you." She says while stroking your cock, covering her hand in cum and her nectar. Dahyun licks her hand clean before showing you she drank it all.

Patting her head, you praise her, "Such a good girl you are, Dahyun." She just smiles at you before going back to your cock. Dahyun's tongue works the underside of your cock while she bobs her head. You moan as she presses the head against the inside of her cheek. 

"Guck, I'm going to cum if you keep this up, Dahyun." She looks up from her position to meet your eyes. As you look into hers, they tell you to cum down her throat. Dahyun struggles to hold herself to the base of your cock but stays as long as she can, hoping you cum at that moment. She begins to massage your balls, increasing your pleasure. You start thrusting your hips gently; Dahyun closes her eyes and lets you use her mouth. "Drink it all, Dahyun," you say as you move a little faster. You stuff Dahyun's mouth as you begin to give her a taste of what she wants. Greedily, she drinks all the cum you give her. Even after you've finished cumming, Dahyun continues to suck on your cock before eventually feeling satisfied. On shaky legs, Dahyun stands; you lift her and place her back on the bed.

"That was great, Dahyun." You say while panting.

"You were great; I'm so full." She says while rubbing her stomach. You sit beside Dahyun and pat her back. 

"So, do you still want to go out, Dahyun?" 

"I do." There's a brief pause, "I'll just have to get rid of my manager for a bit." Dahyun turns to face you, "can you hold me for a little bit?"

"Of course, Dahyun." You lay next to Dahyun and hold her close while she wraps her hands around you.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dear Y/N

I never thought I'd find love in this godforsaken hellhole, but then I discovered you. You're the only light in the dark tunnel of my pathetic existence. You're an amazing person, and I don't know how I lived so long before I met you. I know this might sound like bullshit, but seeing you at the end of each day is what keeps my life in this place from going on total autopilot. You mean the whole world to me, and I'd take every bullet in this hellhole without a second thought if it meant that you'd live a better life than me. I know I'm a terrible piece of trash, but you're different. You make me feel like a better person. Even my own sins seem to go away everytime I see your face. I would trade almost everything in this world if it meant that I could wake up next to you every single morning. Seeing your smile gives me more satisfaction than all the alcohol in this universe.

I just don't understand why someone as perfect as you even wanted to be around a degenerate like me. You're so good to me. You're kind, gentle, smart, and beautiful. I could spend the rest of my days with you, and it would never get old. You're the only good thing that's happened to me on this godforsaken hellhole of a planet. I would take being with you over any amount of money, booze, or fame. My time with you is more valuable than any amount of sins I could commit or money I could spend. I know my life's gonna end at some point, but no matter when it'll be, I just want to spend my last moments with you. Every single night, I dream about spending the rest of my life with you. I dream about waking up next to your beautiful face, going out to dinner, going to bed, starting a family, and eventually growing old together. If I didn't have you, my life would be nothing but a torturous, hollow, endless void.

I've never been a believer in fate, but you're the closest thing I've ever gotten to it. Being with you makes me feel like everything that led up to this point was worth it. Every moment of misery, pain, heartache, and regret that I've felt in my life was worth it just to get a chance to spend the rest of my forever with you. My life before you was a never-ending pool of regret and agony. Now, everything seems to be so much... brighter. The only thing that I want to care about is you. I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm being too forward, but the thought of losing you is terrifying. I need you like a man stuck in the desert needs water.

All I want is to make you happy. Seeing you sad hurts me 100 times worse than any injury. I would do anything, anything for you, no matter how painful for me, if it meant you'd keep blissfully smiling at me for the rest of our lives. You're the very reason I keep waking up in the morning. I know this might sound insane, but you're my everything. All these terrible, terrible thoughts, memories, and sins all seem to slip away whenever I'm with you. Seeing your smile makes the demons in my head shut up for just a small moment. You're the perfect balance, the perfect companion. You're kind, smart, funny, and beautiful. I know people tell each other they're 'perfect' all the time, but for you, it's the only description that can do you any justice.

I can never stop thinking about you. My nights are filled with dreams of you, whether they be beautiful or horrifying. Just the thought of you leaves me constantly yearning for more of you. I can't describe with words the amount of pain I feel whenever you're not around. I always need you to be by my side. I always need to be near you. I always need to feel your presence, your touch, your warmth. Every single moment I spend not with you feels like an hour of torment. My mind is just consumed with thoughts of you. I always wonder what you're doing and who you're with. It drives me absolutely crazy. All I want is to keep you in my sights, away from the hands of any other people. Whenever I hear another person talking to you, a part of inside me dies. I don't think anyone else deserves you.

You're all I obsess over all day. I can't stop thinking about how I want to protect you and keep you away from other people. I constantly wonder what you're doing with other people and how you're doing. Are they making you laugh? Giving you gifts? Or maybe just talking to you and complimenting you? Just the thought of that kind of thing makes me burn with jealousy. Everything I do, I do because it might give me a chance to see your radiant smile, or to talk to you. Even this letter, I'm writing to try and get a hold of your heart. I hope that you'll read this and see my feelings, the feelings of an undying, unending love that will never fade away, no matter how many centuries pass by. I hope that this letter makes you feel the same about me, because I don't know what I'd do if you left me.

Forever yours, Husk

[seoliee]

Was wondering if you could do a head canon for Caleb if his SO (significant other) was plus sized?

I really enjoyed reading the one you have up for him of what marriage would be like with him. ❤️

CALEB ENTRY 2 : PERFECT

MY FIRST REQUEST AHHHHHHHH I IMMEDIATELY DROPPED THE OTHER FICS I WAS WRITING AND STARTED THIS ONE LOL

I absolutely LOVE this idea (being as a plus size as well) and thank you so much for giving me the chance ;-;

I'm not sure if this is headcanon-ish, but I just wrote whatever feels right to me.

• Caleb began to notice strange behaviors coming from you. Recently, he brought home a box of your favorite cookies from a bakery you always frequent. He was sure you'd indulge in the sweet treats like you always do, but to his surprise you only took two pieces and that's that. The cookies were still in the fridge, remained untouch for days.

• The two of you were eating dinner. Caleb wordlessly watches as you only took minimal portions of the dishes he made. Were you not feeling well? His concern growing as moments pass by so he decided to ask. "Baby, are you feeling okay? You haven't been eating much these days." It all clicked together when you told him you're on a diet.

• Caleb is supportive of your decision, but would advise you to have a cheat day once a week. Though, he questions to himself on why you'd suddenly want to go on a diet when you absolutely loath the word. But, he knows better than to ask as it may seem insensitive to you.

•  The two of you are cuddling while watching a movie. With you leaning against him and his arm around your shoulder, keeping you close to him. His gaze switches over to you when you asked him an unbelievable question. "Did you ever wish I was skinny like the other girls?" He didn't even need to think and answered truthfully. "No. Never. You are already perfect just the way you are, baby."

• Caleb is aware of your insecurities. It's one of the things that clammed you up starting from the day he asked you out, with you asking him repeatedly if he was okay with someone like you. It confused him at first, but soon understood what you meant. He could only sigh in disbelief. If only you knew how breathtaking you look in his eyes, how lovely and perfect you are. If you'd let him. He'll kiss every part that you weren't confident with until you are covered with his marks.

• Caleb shifts his position, with you in between his parted legs and your back leaning against him. "I love every inch of you." He whispers to you ear, gently nibbling on your earlobe. His hands began to trail down to your tummy, grasping the voluptuous flesh. "I love your curves and everything in between. All of it is what makes you perfect." He kept his voice low, a hint of playfulness in them as you squirm under his touch.

• Caleb's hands goes down to your thighs, caressing the softness of your skin and goes over to the inner area, spreading them apart. "If words are no longer enough for you."

"I'd be more than willing to show you through my actions all night."

For some reason everytime I write for him, it ends with some NSFW. I can't help, but give him special treatment.

My dms are always open for request. But I won't do any smut sorry.

[puckpocketed]

30/06/2024 - The Colorado Avalanche draft Tory Pitner 185th overall.

I think that I can use my brain and really bait other players into plays that they don't want to make and then close out. Really take away time and space, and ultimately just be a prick to play against - I don't know if I can say that on this - but I think that I can defend really well.

[full draft day interview transcript + an introduction by me under the cut]

Foreword: This transcript was done by hand to the best of my ability and edited for clarity. In bold text are my highlights, parts I thought were noteworthy and interesting. I removed filler words (um's and uh's). In square brackets are where I've added words or adjusted words for clarity. In the regular parentheses are small notes for added context. Tory Pitner is a fascinating player. He does not have the high-end skill you saw go in the first round. He is foremost a shutdown d-man. But he is smart, driven, methodical in his preparation and training, and most of all a true scholar and lover of the game. If anyone has an EP Rinkside subscription, I would encourage you to read the article written about him. The bulk of it is an interview, in which he goes into vivid detail about several top draft picks from this year whom he has played against, and how he goes about shutting them down. He has their on-ice habits broken down and analysed; from their handedness to the types of shots they like to make and the dekes they like to use. He watches NHL defensemen, describing his study with the fervour of an academic, a mad scientist, and a fan all at once. He has charmed me utterly, and I think it's because we love hockey in such similar ways. I love the details of the game, I love watching good and interesting hockey above all else, and I absolutely love studying it (albeit on an amateur level). And, okay, I don't like to make bold predictions, so I won't. All I have is hope. I hope he grows and thrives, I hope everyone one day recognises how special he is, and most of all I hope he makes it. Tory Pitner, no matter who you play for and where you're playing, I will always be rooting for you!!

Q: How would you describe [your] feelings right now?

TP: It's pretty unbelievable. I mean, it's a great feeling. Colorado is a great organisation, and especially down the road from Denver [University] it's going to be really, really fun to go to a lot of games and just see the progression in the team - in my game - to hopefully one day be there.

Q: So, knowing that you were going to D.U., were you maybe kind of hopeful that it'd be the Avs?

TP: Yeah. I talked to the Avs a little bit during the year and stayed in contact with some of their scouts, so every time they picked I was kind of on the edge of my seat - but I'm happy to be here and really excited.

Q: What are the strengths in your game?

TP: I'd say that my defending is probably my biggest strength. I think that I can use my brain and really bait other players into plays that they don't want to make and then close out. Really take away time and space, and ultimately just be a prick to play against - I don't know if I can say that on this - but I think that I can defend really well.

I'd say my player comparable is John Marino; his ability to play against those top line guys and shut them down every night. I mean, you just saw him get traded so [he's] obviously a very valuable piece in the NHL, and he was a sixth round draft pick too. I'm really excited to hopefully continue that development path over at D.U. to round out all the other areas of my game to play in the NHL.

Q: So you'd say Denver is a good choice for you, for college?

TP: Yeah. I'd say, obviously, the coaching staff first of all, [David Carle] is an unbelievable coach; and then just the proven track record they have at developing NHL defensemen. Being there every day, you see all the guys that come back, and they want to be at D.U. All the guys that they've sent to the NHL, they still come back to train there - train with Matt Shaw, the strength coach, and skate on the ice. Everyone there; it's kind of a brotherhood. It's a great system for [anyone] to go through if they want to get to the NHL.

Q: Did you get a chance to speak to Jake Fisher? (Colorado draft pick #121 overall)

TP: I'm actually roommates with Fish at D.U. We moved in on Sunday and so it's kind of cool that we both got picked here.

Q: So have you talked to him since?

TP: I haven't. I gotta be honest, I put my phone down after round three and kind of tried not to go on it. But yeah, no, we'll definitely talk. I'll see Fish [on] Sunday when I land. We probably have some studying to do for our Geography class. No, it'll be good. I know he was really excited, I'm really excited, too.

Q: Have you ever been to an Avs game?

TP: I have not, no. But I heard that the D.U. guys go all the time, especially with it being right downtown, so [I'm] really looking forward to getting out there and seeing Ball Arena live. I've driven past it a few times, just heading back to campus and whatnot, but I'll be really excited to get inside and see what it's like.

Q: How did [the Youngstown Phantoms] help you develop, to get to this point? (inaudible)

TP: For sure. I mean, obviously it was great my first year, getting to experience winning the Clark Cup Championship there was super cool for me, and it was a great learning experience being able to be around great leaders like Shane Lachance and Chase Pietila - who got picked earlier today. Being able to be around those kind of guys was awesome for me. And then my second year, taking a step into a bigger role with the team, talking with [coach] Andy Contois a lot about my game, working on different areas that I need to improve, and improving on my strengths, too, [like] being hard to play against. So I think overall they helped me round out my game, and I'm looking forward to keep rounding out that game at D.U.

Q: What has your Draft Day experience been like here at the Sphere? (inaudible)

TP: Yeah, no, it was long. Woke up early, couldn't really sleep too much. Woke up, just kind of got a workout in to get moving, you know, have something to do. Then walked over here - I'm staying at a hotel that's not too far - so, walked over. Sat down after having some breakfast and then kind of just watched the draft. It's been pretty cool, though. I have my family here, my agent as well, [and] one of my coaches. It's been really nice to have everyone here supporting me.

Q: What about the way that Colorado plays defence excites you?

TP: I'd say that I love how they're pretty freeing with all their defensemen. Even down the lineup, you look at Josh Manson still getting up in the play joining as a fourth man. Sam Girard obviously loves to do that. They obviously have great defensemen like Cale Makar running their power play. [They] love being really active. I think that's something that I'm looking to add more to my game, too, and so the freedom to do that in Colorado is something I'm really looking forward to - especially at D.U. as well, having that freedom. Finding the middle in a lot of their breakouts, not a lot of off-the-glass plays or up the wall; they like to really possess the puck. I'm really looking forward to being able to hold on to the puck a little bit longer and find some middle support, which I think will ultimately help my game break down the opponent and just add another element - which will be really fun.

Q: What players did you idolise as you came up?

TP: It's kind of been a lot of different ones, but I really wanted to play defence because of Nick Lidstrom. When I was younger, one of my coaches - actually, Anže Kopitar's brother - Gašper Kopitar; he was my defense coach in LA when I played for the junior Kings when I was younger, and he told me 'If you want to be a defenseman, [go] watch Nick Lidstrom.' So I found some YouTube video - and I think I've watched it like 400 times or something like that. I've watched his NHL 36 multiple times, just to get me going or just to learn his routines. So idolising him growing up and then seeing the great person and defenseman he was; it really made me want to be [one], and I wanted to play hockey even more.

[clangenrising]

Now I try and look for nuance in many writings I come by, trying to analyze the story and the characters... but there are times when I just feel some undying hatred for those in the city, despite knowing that there are a few—if not many—who do not approve of the society that they were born in.

It's harder to look past the characters who easily take the lives of others with such ease. But then again, they were probably fed the wrong information and told horrible falsehoods that make them believe that the murder of the "savage" clan cats is somehow justified, when in fact they just killed a child that had so much ahead of her and took the life of a mother that still had many more things to laugh about with her daughters and teach them.

There are (hopefully) more cats like Schmidt, Luna, and Jo that'll be able to help change a few of the perspectives within the city. I don't have any theories as to how the city dwellers would've known (?) to attack during the gathering, but I'm sure Sardine or another may have merely been speaking to Mystique, which ended up in her mentioning the gathering and perhaps in a fit of sorts, mentioned the fact that she had children back by the clans. I'd like to think that she didn't just willingly spew out all the information that Sardine needed for his barrage... she didn't want to be a mother in the first place, so why would she intentionally help bring them back?

Anyway! Just wanted to share my thought process/thoughts. Love you're writing!

(Formerly known as Vonmunin/Vonrozen, I just have a very indecisive mind when it comes to online aliases, but we change as we grow right?)

Thanks for making study breaks entertaining!

You're definitely not in the wrong to hate Sardine and his gang. As much as I think trying to empathize with fascists and see them as real people and understand why they are the way they are is important, it definitely never means that you have to like them or excuse the harm they do or not punch them in the face when necessary.

I think the important thing is to let yourself get angry but make sure you're never dehumanizing them into a totally evil Other. That's where we get into dangerous territory. Dehumanization always leads to bad things, no matter who is being dehumanized.

If you'd like to try empathizing with hateful, violent people who may have been taken advantage of or lied to by more powerful fascists, I recommend this video from The Alt Right Playbook called "How to Radicalize A Normie."

Or this one which is a bit more in depth, "Isolation, Engulfment, and Pain: Why the Alt Right is Like an Abusive Relationship"

These videos are some of my favorite things on the internet and they really helped me understand how most alt righters are (or at least start out as) victims of other fascists. Really, I strongly urge all of you to watch.

As for Mystique, I think the last piece we saw her in where Sardine reached out to her shows that she is in a very vulnerable place and he is willing and able to manipulate her while she's in that state. She says out loud "I'm not going to help you kill them all" or something like that, so it stands to reason, whatever information she gave she gave under false pretenses.

[ted-answers]

Hey Ted, were you ever like… bullied as a kid? If so, what for?

(ooc; long post and sorry for typos, I cannot be bothered to reread this for a 7th time)

Oh. Oh yes. It was for what you'd expect honestly, my family was dirt poor. Growing up I had, at most, maybe four outfits? None of them ever stayed clean long enough to be decent, as I wore them not only to school but also while doing farm work. My hair was never clean, I was always being sent around places to work on machines- I had a knack for them and if there's one thing me and my parents had in common, it was knowing when something was profitable- I wasn't ever getting homework done or sleeping because of how much work I'd be doing. I passed out in class often. My hair always had oil or grease in it. I had burns, cuts, and bruises nearly constantly, and my already filthy clothes started getting oil stains.

All of that was the perfect recipe for pre-teens with better living situations to tear me to pieces. Didn't help that while growing up I was skinny, tall, and pretty malnourished. I couldn't fight anyone off if I tried. I was a bookworm for fucks sake, I was practically a walking target. I think one of the reasons my parents pulled me out of school in my early teens, before I could even become a freshman in high school, was likely so they could avoid the responsibility of what was essentially neglect. Plus, with no homework, I could get so much more work done. yay.

Despite it all, and despite the fact I think I hated my parents, for loads of good reasons. I miss them. I can't even remember their faces. I don't remember our family name. I barely remember the farm. I can't even recall my siblings. Not to sound like a child, but I miss them, so, so much. I would give everything, anything, to say sorry for leaving them. For never giving them any of the riches I acquired. For changing both my names and pretending I had been an orphan all my life. I want my mom. I want my dad.

I haven't thought this in years, decades even, but

I want to go home.

(ooc; hot take but Ted genuinely has one of the saddest backstories because he is such a victim of circumstance. I see people going "omg he used rich women for their money" and what they don't realize is that his only other option was slaving away on a farm in South Carolina for the rest of his life. Something that had already consumed his entire childhood. He didn't even have a high school diploma. Tell me what the hell he's supposed to do for career paths without one of those. Yes, he was a genius, he was entirely self-educated from the age of 13 onwards. He dove into books to ignore his outward circumstances. He can't really get a decent job with that. Hell- He was on an entirely different continent by the time he finally had freedom. His literal only option was to be a fucking playboy. Scamming was the only constant stream of cash. I'll admit that can be mildly comedic in some scenarios but it's also sad. Justice for Ted I love him.)

[stromuprisahat]

When I read SoC,I loved Kaz,Inej,Matthias and Nina(didn't give a fuck about anyone else). However,I was "no,no,no,no" whenever Bardugo insisted Kaz and Inej were 16/17. With some isolated moments,I would be able to believe they were particularly capable,hardened teenagers. However,seeing the whole picture made me unable to buy they were so young. Their power,reputations,mindsets in a crime-filled town. Kaz was 27/28/29 and Inej was 26/27/28 in SoC/CK,according to what Bardugo had shown us. As an adult woman who spent two years being a sex slave and 8 years growing as a criminal and recovering from her trauma while healing from PTSD,Inej is admirable. As a 16 yo girl,it forces my suspension of disbelief. Yes,teens can be clever and wise,but wise and clever for their ages,they're not adults.

As for Kaz,he's emotionally immature,but he seems more like a stunted adult man. Besides,he's basically a crime lord. If Kaz,besides being a prodigy,was the son/protege of a criminal kingpin(instead of a nobody who started from scratch),I could see him having such reputation. But as some rando that got scammed at a young age,lol nope.

Also,the Kanej dynamics would feel more believable if they were grown ups who spent roughly a decade together. Also,there's a lot of comedy fodder for the two young adults having to cat herd a bunch of wildly different teens.

Yes, yes, yes!

(For Kaz's flavour of immaturity, him as crimi-protégé and Kanej's dynamics with quite younger rest of the Crows.)

I didn't notice the first time I was reading, but then again- it went so quickly, I missed much more-, but the two of them should definitely be older.

Kaz had to learn how to survive, built reputation strong enough to be sought after in Ketterdam underworld, climb through the ranks of the Dregs and rebuilt them. Inej isn't his only discovery- he has other people he recruited, for which he'd need to learn about them in the first place and earn their loyalty. None of it should realistically take only a few months. Not without a mentor or influential relative to clear his path for him.

If you'd tell me he's in his early twenties, I'd clap my hands for how quickly he raised so high.

Inej doesn't think, speak or act like a teenager, no matter how mature. This will be one of those moments I'm avoiding, since experience is very subjective to use as a scale, but I've met mature teenagers. They might have their priorities sorted, they might have heavy responsibilities, they might have their shit together more than any official adult, but there's always something, some aspect in which you'll recognize just how young they are. Inej haven't made me feel that way once.

She's wise for her age, but she's believably wise for mid-twenties.

The way they're comfortable around each other would make me guess some five years for sure. They might cooperate closely now, but first of all- I doubt Kaz would simply let anyone so close after a few weeks. Even with her valuable skills, I think Inej would need time to "worm" her way into his confidence. Second- they're NOT friends. Friendships are built on what you have in common, and I highly doubt Kaz is willing to share his past or feelings with anyone out of his own free will. Their relationship looks more like something, where Inej grew to trust him and opened up little by little, and AFTER SOME TIME managed to notice and figure out bits and pieces about him. Even ordinary co-workers bond by talking about their daily life. Kaz and Inej shouldn't have that. At least their first year or two.

It might be mostly that emotional maturity, but I'd guess Inej a bit older than Kaz.

[thelittleliars]

Survive (4/4)

Warnings: fluff

Words: 3,8K

Summary: // (it's a surprise)

AN: The long awaited Part 4 is finally here! I rewrote the end a thousand of times since nothing was ever nearly as perfect as now. I might write one shots based on this universe in the future, I'd would to keep up with things Y/N and Natasha are doing after this. Thanks for being so patience! I did not proof read so if anything doesn't make sense you know why.

[Part 1: Silence]

You opened your eyes slowly, the sunshine that came through your curtains was warm but also very bright so you had to get used to it before you took a look around your room. You saw Natasha lying next to you, she had a soft expression on her face with hint of a tiny smile tugging at her lips. Seeing her there made your heart all warm and fuzzy, you were tearing up with how happy and content you felt. The woman in front of you started to wake up, her eyes fluttered open but shut them immediately again, it was also too bright for her. A minute later she opened them again, dreamingly looking in your eyes with her beautiful green ones, mornings like this made her happy. "Good morning moya lyubov'." Before you could even think about what the translation was, you felt her warm lips on yours, it was only a peck but it still gave you the butterflies. "Cuddle time before breakfast?"

"Yes please." You muttered, your hands instantly went around her body, your legs messily intertwined with hers and your face snuggled in her boobs. To the world it looked like a koala hugging Natasha, even though she was noticeably shorter than you. You often teased the black widow about her height but it would bite you back once you trained with her, she constantly handed back your ass. "You really have nice boobs." 

"Thanks, I grew them myself." She placed a kiss on your head. You could get used to this, being loved like this was all you've ever wanted.

"Lucky you.. I think I somehow missed the lesson of growing boobs." You complained with a loud sigh. 

"Hmm maybe it's a good thing you missed that lesson. I love them the way they are." Natasha told you in a deep voice that made her naturally raspy voice even hotter. "They're perfect so I hope you'd never surgically change them."

Often times you thought of getting breast implants but it all flew out of the window whenever Nat told you how much she loved your small boobs. "I won't. At least not as long as you're here to cherish them." 

"You know damn well I take good care of them." You nodded then looked up and leaned in to give her a small kiss as appreciation. "As much as I love this right now, I'm getting a bit too hungry to truly enjoy these moments."

A dirty thought came to your mind and you just couldn't help yourself but spoke it out loud. "You know.. you could always eat me." You suggested teasingly but you knew once Natasha was really hungry she needed real food to function properly.

"Very tempting but you are not a meal, even though you taste heavenly detka." You groaned at the thought of getting up, but you slowly entangled yourself from your lover anyways. You both got up, changed out of your pajamas and walked hand in hand to the kitchen. While you quickly prepared some waffles, Natasha washed and cut some fruits. From time to time she came to you with a strawberry and fed you lovingly. Right when you were finished with baking all waffles and putting them on the table besides Natasha's fruit bowl, Yelena busted in without any care.

"Y/N Y/L/N, thank you for making Waffles. I really craved some." She sat down on one of our kitchen chairs and prepared herself a plate. 

You shook your head and rolled your eyes at her behavior. "When will you stop saying my last name?" 

Yelena stuffed a piece of waffle in her mouth and answered while chewing her breakfast. "The day after you marry my sister duh." You looked towards your red head and started begging for her to marry you. She only smiled and shook her head, she couldn't believe you being so funnily ridiculous right now. "Too bad, you're missing out." 

The tiny blonde sister purposely gagged. "Gross.. you're being gross." Right as you wanted to tease her back, you felt a hot shook, like a jolting in your heart and everything around you suddenly started to shake. You felt your knees giving in a little bit. "Guys, whats happening?"

"What do you mean?" Natasha said but when she turned her head to you she quickly added, "Y/N, oh my god, are you alright?" Both Yelena and Natasha ran the few steps to you and held you up by your arms. "I-I.. I d-don't-" Nothing but slurring words came out of your mouth. The sisters were quick to move you towards the sofa that was near the kitchen table since you had an (open) connected kitchen and living room. "Here, let's sit down for a bit. You can rest or even sleep a bit, alright?" The last thing you did was nodding to them and closing your eyes. 

The next time you opened your eyes you lied somewhere outside on grass. Confused about how you ended up here, you sat up and looked around just to spot Natasha a few meters away but instead of seeing her red hair she now had short blonde hair. Your mouth instantly fell open, you never expected Nat to look like this but fuck she looked so stunning. The hair style fit her even if blonde hair isn't your favorite on people. She walked back in your direction before sitting down in front of you. "How was your nap? Feeling a little better?" 

What the fuck? How? What? Why? "I'm not sure." You answered still very confused about what was going on. Natasha nodded and gave you a tiny smile. "Then try to rest a bit more. I'll go get Yelena and Aliana. I'll be right back." She gave your legs a small squeeze, then got up and vanished behind some trees. You closed you eyes and wondered who the fuck Aliana was and why this all is happening. 

When you opened your eyes the next time, it was suddenly morning and you were lying in a bed that you knew wasn't yours. You took a breath before looking to your right side, there was nothing but a framed photo of Natasha Romanoff. A sudden rush of sadness with a touch of heartbreak came over you. Whatever this was, it just couldn't be happening, you thought you were going crazy. You immediately shut your eyes and this time you felt a shift inside of your whole body. You didn't dare to open your eyes once again, being scared of what might happen next but you got extremely curious when you heard a loud snore next to you. 

A tiny peak wouldn't hurt right? With new found confidence you slowly opened your eyes just to see the ugly ass ceiling you always woke up to at the avengers compound. You let out a sigh of relief, this isn't as bad as you thought it'd be. The loud snore came up once again, you breathed in deeply before taking a look from where the snore came from and as soon as you saw the women that snored it nearly took your breath away. It was Wanda Maximoff and she was naked. You quickly looked at yourself for it to get confirmed that you were also naked, and then you saw another naked body on your other side. At the sight of a naked Natasha you blushed badly, but soon enough it flew away by your confused state. Something was very wrong but you couldn't figure out what exactly. You knew you constantly felt different but didn't know what to do. Wanda stirred awake, she yawned tiredly before asking why you were awake already.

"Wanda there's something wrong." You told her, your heartbeat got faster with each second. 

"Yeah, you're right." You sighed in relief, she also felt there was something wrong. "I'm still wearing the strap on from last night. Ugh it's getting uncomfortable." 

"FUCK!!! JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE! HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE? FUCKING HELL! AM I IN HELL, IS THIS MY HELL LOOP??" Your own voice screamed inside of you as loud as it could. And it was as if the gods heard your pleads, a you light suddenly appeared and you had to gasp for air. It felt like all the oxygen got sucked out of you, you struggled so badly that at one point you swore you died. The light turned so bright that it changed into darkness eventually before it turned into something colorful and only then you felt like you could finally breath again. After a while you heard voices, Natasha voice especially, she was outraged by something. You then heard Yelena, Maria, Tony and even Carol, they all tried to reason with your best friend. You were still too exhausted to open your eyes, also a little bit too scared to do so, but you tried to utter out a small Natty. It was a quiet one but surprisingly they all heard it. 

"Y/N? Oh god can you hear me?" Natasha grabbed your hand and held onto it for dear life. You tried to squeeze her hand and were successful, even if it was barely a squeeze.

"Don't do this again, you hear me? Don't ever scare us like this ever again. I don't think I can handle this one more time." In the background you heard Tony discuss something with what most likely was a doctor. You were too focused on Natasha to hear they were talking about.

"What happened?" 

"We don’t know for sure." Carol joined the conversation. It was nice to hear her voice again, it had been months since you last saw her. "We guess the virus did this to you. I only saw something like this once and they got super power from it. Unfortunately we have to take tests on you."

"But don't worry Y/N Y/L/N! Tony is looking at all the footage to see who fucked up when we got cleared. As soon as I have a name they'll get beat up!" Suddenly a echo of a slap ringed out in the room. Yelena let out a scream of pain. "Ouch!" 

This was real, your own reality and not some kind of dream. Relief washed over you, your body finally relaxed at knowledge to be at the right place with the right time. Slow and steadily you opened your eyes, the room was a bit more darker and you were glad they dimmed the lights for you already. The second you saw Natasha a tons of different emotions flooded your senses and just started crying for a minute or two.

"I'm here." She whispered before she came closer and leaned in to rest her forehead against yours. How you wished to be even closer to her in that moment. You longed for extrem body contact with her, a hug so close and tight with the intentions of never wanting to let go. "Do you want me to lie down next to you?"

You nodded while telling her to hold you and never let go. Only when she embraced you, you were finally at peace with everything. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Turned out that an intern fucked up your results, he accidentally dropped your blood sample and replaced it with his own blood. They took another blood sample from you and this time it showed huge abnormalities in your DNA. Each Avenger with different DNA asked you about your experience to see if they knew what power you exactly had. It wasn't until Wanda came back with Dr. Strange that you finally got a clear answer of your powers. They explained that you could 'posses' the body of yourself in different universes and continue living their life while you're asleep. You basically dream walked in various universes, which scared the hell out of you and you didn't know if you liked your new powers since the multiverse is still very new for everybody.

"I got something for you Y/N." Nat busted into your room and threw you a small black box which you catched easily. As you opened it, you got extremely curious to see what it was but when you saw a smartwatch in your favorite color it confused you. "Still a prototype but it's modified on your powers. Maximoff and Strange tested it as much as they could and Stark tried his best with the technology."

"What exactly can it do? Like how is this gonna help me?" You crossed your legs as you made yourself comfortable on your bed.

"They said that you could see if you're here or if you're off in the multiverse doing that dream walking stuff." She sat down on the chair at your desk, she lazily propped up a foot and looked at you with an expression you could not figure out. "You haven't told me a single thing about what you saw when you dream walked."

You nodded, not sure if you were ready to tell her yet. "Only Wanda knows everything."

"Speaking of the Witch, she told me that Tony is throwing a party for you tonight." You shook your head in disbelieve, though you shouldn't be surprised about Tony throwing a party for you yet you still were. "It's just a small one with only the Avengers and some friends."

"It's still a big no. I got too much on my mind." While that wasn't a lie it was also not the main reason why you didn't want to go. 

"Like what?" You saw the slightly worried expression on her face but she knew not to push you. "How to tell you some things." She immediately put her foot from your desk and sat up straight. 

"Do I need to get Wanda to help us look into each other's thoughts?" She offered you the easy way out.

"No, it's better if we're alone." You took a deep breath, it was now or never to tell her about it. "After I collapsed in my bathroom, I woke up in bed like if it was any other day. You were sleeping next to me which isn't unusual, we decided to make breakfast and Yelena appeared to. We teased each other before I felt something weird inside of me, my knees gave in before you and Yelena took me to the sofa where I closed my eyes just to be somewhere else the next second." You specifically left out the parts where you guys kissed. "I suddenly was outside lying on grass and you told me you'd be back soon with Yelena and whoever the hell Aliana is. And when I woke up again I was in a room I did not recognize, Wanda and you were both in bed with me. I knew right there that something was very wrong and I screamed so loud to get out of there and somehow I ended up here in the med bay to you guys arguing."

"Why do I feel like you left out some details on purpose?" You knew she was teasing and joking but you still got defensive. "How the fuck are details relevant here??" 

"Y/N, I was only kidding." She said in a soft voice to calm you down. "You-"

"Don't you dare to say 'calm down' or I might actually do something we'll both regret." You shut your eyes close, trying to push the defensive feelings down. You were so busy actively concentrating on regulating your emotions that you haven't noticed the shift of your environment. 

"I have been waiting for your arrival, Y/N." The person stood a couple feet away. They look like you, a version of yourself to be precise, just with different clothes and a slightly different haircut. 

"What?" You said shocked, still looking at your other self standing in front of you.

"I knew it would only be a question of time before you come into my universe. I saw how you got your powers. I think every one of 'us' saw it, we were all in the same place when you collapsed." They explained. "I think that bonded us all."

You shook your head in disbelieve. "How is that even possible?" 

"That's easy, I mean I could explain it all to you but honestly? Those questions doesn't matter right now. We're here to talk about our fate." My fate? "Yes your fate, when we saw you collapsing, we also got a small peak into your life and how it was supposed to go before other forces changed your path for the worst."

"But everything is still the same as before." You were puzzled.

"And exactly that is the problem." They point at you frustrated for some reason. "You've seen yourself in multiple other universes, haven't you noticed a pattern yet??" 

"There are a lot of versions of myself with Natasha." You stated the obvious. The other you nodded and smiled widely. "Hallelujah! She noticed it!" 

"I still don't understand what you want from me." 

"I'm here to help you realize things that should have happened without actually telling you them."

You then took a look around the room your two stood in. Literally everywhere were pictures of yourself and most of them had Natasha in it too. Those pictures were moving as it were a video that could be printed. It felt like a memory room with not only your own memories but also from what seems like every other you from every universe that apparently exist. And then you spot a photo that you knew was from your universe, it was a moment you could never forget, primarily for the reason that it was so fucking embarrassing that it plagued your mind.

You continued starring at the photo but you didn't expect the outcome it showed it, it was so different than what actually happened. "This was exactly what was always supposed to happen."

"W-what.. h-how.. why d-did it change?" You didn't know how to speak anymore, not after you saw the painful reality of the robbed moment of your life. 

"You closed your eyes for a few seconds in that moment. An 'evil' you took over your body and changed the moment." They came close to you and held your hands. "If you do not take actions once you are back then I fear your fate will always stay the way it is right now." 

"How do I get back though?" You longed to get back now. All you wanted to do is change the path to the way it was supposed to go. "Close your eyes darling"

You did as you were told to, this time you did feel a shift, warmth and goosebumps was now the main thing you felt, the warmth came from something on your face. As soon as you opened your eyes you saw Natasha on front of you, who was holding your face in her hands. Her beautiful green eyes held worry it went away when she realized that you were back. A tons of butterflies erupted in your stomach and you were glad it gave you courage for what you were about to do next. You leaned your face closer to hers, inch by inch, giving Natasha the option to pull away before actually kissing her. But she didn't do such a thing, instead she leaned in too, meeting your lips halfway. Once your lips met, both of you battled for domination of the kiss. It ended up with you having the upper hand, the black widow was too smitten by you. Kissing Natasha was the best feeling ever. 

Since both of you didn't know what to say after the kiss, you just continued kissing until it became a bit too intense and hot. "Would you like to be my girlfriend?" You asked the red head. She nodded happily, stealing a short kiss afterwards and then resting her forehead against yours. "Look at us, who would have thought?"

"Not me." You both giggle like little girls on a christmas morning. "I might be in love with you." Your heart melts at her confession, you knew expressing her feelings and emotions is not something easy for her. 

"I feel the same way." You smiled at her lovingly. "How about we skip this whole girlfriend thing and just get straight up married?" 

"There's absolutely nothing straight in this relationship detka. Let's wait a bit and enjoy our girlfriend phase for a while, alright?" 

You huffed but nodded. "Can we fake our marriage then? Because I really wanna call you my wife and confuse the others."

"Oh baby, you can call me whatever you want. I'm yours and only yours." She smirked at you, thinking of names she wanted you to call her.

There were a few minutes of silence before you decided to speak up again. "You were right about leaving out details earlier." 

"I figured. You weren't as smooth as you thought you were but if I'm beging honest then I officially knew when you mentioned the name Aliana." So Natasha did know the name but how come? "It's my middle name and I always thought of naming my child Aliana, that means if I ever had one considering what the red room did to my ovaries." 

"I'm in between of being extremely heartbroken and jealous that you don't have any ovaries." You admitted. "I hate that they didn't give you a choice but on the other hand you don't have to deal with bleeding out of your vagina every month ugh."

"That is indeed a positive side but I'd gladly deal with that if that meant to be able to have a family of my own." Natasha longed for a family her whole life, the closest she could get was being an aunt to Clint's children.

"Carrying a child doesn't mean we can't start a family. Adoption is an option and honestly I rather adopt a child that already lost its parents than bring another child into this world." You put your hands on her tiny waist, loving the feeling of touching her body gently. "Also you, me and Yelena, we are already a family and now being in a relationship everything will feel ever more family like." 

"You seriously don't understand how glad I feel to have you in my life. Moya lyubov, please don't ever leave me." 

"I wouldn't dream of it, wife." Natasha usually hated pet names but loved hearing them coming out of your mouth now. "Let's just cuddle for a while and then we can go to that party you were talking about earlier."

"Ohh I can't wait to show you off." Natasha had the biggest grin you had ever seen on her face. In a way you were glad that she fucked up your friendship when you accidentally came out. You didn't think you'd have realized your feelings if that hadn't happened. 

In the end it was the silence that brought to a second chance that surprisingly bonded you like nothing else. All you had to do now is surviving with these new powers of your to have long life with Natasha Romanoff. 

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