#you won't believe what i rewatched
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my beautiful princess with a disorder
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#tko_art#you are the most talented#most interesting#and most extraordinary person in the universe#And you are capable of amazing things. Because you are the special.#What's it like to hold the hand of someone you love?#do you long for having your heart interlinked?#do you feel that there's a part of you that's missing?#what will you have after 500 years?#oh i forgot the airbrush for the depth#i thought this was pretty good but i just remembered the top lid doesn't really ahve shape#whatever#tried doing the shadow on the corner of it's eye too#that didn't work out lol#i'm starting to slowly think that putting the time and effort into being my friend is not worth it#asked my therapist how to start believing words and she completely misunderstood it#because at the end of the day yeah words are just words and no matter how much u try to tell me I won't believe you#and i get it i get it i get it i just can't apply it#anyway might fuck around and rewatch one piece and catch up#it's eating me up inside#you dont get it#what's not to love#argue with the wall#ok well the fanservice sucks ass#makes me want to kill myself
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𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫! 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨
featuring. gojo satoru x reader
warnings. cursing
note. i thought of this when i saw a"rating celebrities i have met" video on tiktok, i imagined what gojo would be like as a celebrity — hence this fic. enjoy <;33 god i want to make actor! jujutsu kaisen a series so bad.
actor! gojo who first saw you during a fan meeting, and when you asked for a weird pose to do with him, he's immediately attached — like love at first sight?
actor gojo! who slips in his phone number when he was signing his picture that you asked him to sign, hoping that you, his very own fan would actually text him. because, he genuinely wants to get to know you better.
actor! gojo who receives a text from you during the night, and the first text he receives from you was a "is this a prank? if it's not, i'm going to roll on the ground and cry. if it is, i'm sorry you had to see this text." and he decided to play with you by saying it's a joke — but stopped when you actually believed in him.
actor! gojo who finds it funny that you still don't believe that the gojo satoru is texting you, so he decided to video call you to make you believe in him (you ended the call immediately and blocked his number for a bit after, only unblocking him when you got your head straight).
actor! gojo who eventually got to know you better, slipping in the time to video call you or voice call you during breaks in his busy schedule. sending you your cravings out of the blue, or even bouquets of your favorite flowers.
actor! gojo who will use his empty schedule to come and meet you — taking you out to eat or just spend the day in your home, or his apartment. even exhausted, he still wanted everything to work out with you, so he would do anything; even if most of the time, the both of you ended up napping together.
actor! gojo who sends selfies of himself or a short video of himself during his schedule so you could know what he was doing �� pointing out the most unnecessary things in the video, like how he saw a cat (then taking a picture or video of the cat to send to you), or even telling you how he finished the shoot in a short amount of time, wanting you to be proud of him.
"hi! i just did a scene, and there was this really cute kitty — look, i named him tuxedo, 'cause his fur looks like a suit. isn't he cute? what do you think if i brought him home with me, i think you'd like him!" he said, panning the camera to the said cat, caressing its fur gently.
actor! gojo who checks his phone every time after a take in his shoot to see if you had replied to him, and when he sees your notification, he gets so motivated to do his shoot. and when you don't, he's pretty upset. he turns into a big baby and asks everyone in the set what it meant if someone replies late, he is so dramatic.
actor! gojo who if asked about his ideal type during interviews, mentions and describes your personality and looks. and everyone won't know that he was talking about you, he sees people talking about how specific his words are and speculates that he was seeing someone.
actor! gojo who trended on social media after that particular interview and the account who first speculated how specific his description is, and now the whole world is saying he has a secret lover or is dating backstreet.
actor! gojo who then receives a text from you asking about if he was seeing someone because of his trending name. and he decided to ask you out for good — telling you that it was you he was describing, and he would be glad if you'd go out with him.
[ you ] : you're trending omg
[ gojo satoru ] : i know :D
[ you ] : but now that i rewatched the video, it does seem like you're describing someone, who is it? 😏
[ gojo satoru ] : idk if you're nonchalant or you're just pretending not to know :/
[ you ] : ???
[ gojo satoru ] : it's you, silly. i'm describing you to the world, so now that i've said that — can i please be your boyfriend?
actor! gojo who immediately drives his way to your house when you said yes to him being your boyfriend; he had been holding back the urge to kiss you, holding you close, so when he's yours — he just has to have you close to him.
actor! gojo who was a little upset when you said you wanted to keep the relationship a secret from the world so his fans wouldn't be mad at him. but he accepted it, as long as you're comfortable.
actor! gojo who makes it clear to people on set, including his make up artist, and even director that he now has a partner; and that he's madly in love. everyone on set listens to him talk about you every single day, gojo is so lovestruck that he can't stop talking about you, telling people on set how great you are and how deeply in love he is with you.
actor! gojo who still slips in random selfies and videos of him during work so you won't overthink, he will tell you what he's about to do and with who even if you didn't ask — he didn't want to keep his partner waiting for him, he's communicative to what he's about to do so you won't worry.
actor! gojo who brings you out on a date to a fine dining restaurant one night and it turned out to be the gravest mistake ever when he finds his name trending the very next day, all for the wrong reasons.
actor! gojo who's first worry is you when he was trending. half of his "fans" were bashing the mysterious person (you) off, saying the most mean things ever, and half of his fans were happy that gojo was on a date with you, telling him how they're really happy that he's out on a date despite his busy schedule.
actor! gojo who makes sure you're alright first, telling you how you should never listen to whatever his "fans" are saying — because they're definitely not right, and they're just jealous. he tells you that he will resolve everything, so you don't have to worry about anything.
actor! gojo who clarifies, by quote retweeting a tweet that was meant to hate on you — clarifying that he's married to you (even if he's not), and that you're his partner. he EMPHASIZES on how he's not hesitating to sue anyone who delivered hate, and he's personally keeping track on the usernames of people who had made a hate towards you (he jots them down and screenshots them).
and most of these account decided to deactivate right after his open clarification. losers.
actor! gojo who then made a proper clarification by saying that he is indeed in a relationship with you and that you're his spouse (not yet), and he told the whole world how he won't hesitate to take legal actions to whoever decided to mess with him, his personal life, or you.
actor! gojo who was happy when most of his real fans supported both him and you, and tell you both how happy they are. he giggles and kicks his feet reading the comments about how you both are definitely going to last, and how you both will be the best couple ever. he screenshots them and make an album just for these comments, showing them to you to reassure you that everything was going to be fine. you were going to be fine. you both were going to be fine.
actor! gojo who was asked about you during interviews and he gets so happy and smiley that he gets to show you off in front of the camera, telling everyone how deep in love he is, and how you treat him like the best person in the world. the video went viral and people were so envious of you.
"oh, my spouse? best. person. ever. i met them during a fan meeting, yes. they were a fan of mine — i could say it was love at first sight, i look at them and i just knew i wanted to marry them."
people then began to believe that they have a chance with their own idols, most of them making this a meme, and they use gojo as one of those tiktok standards videos.
actor! gojo who still sends you selfies and videos after a long time of dating, never breaking the routine. even when he has a schedule out of the country — he still makes time for you, engaging in video calls and voice calls despite the time zones, sends you the sweetest voice mails when he can't do a call and brings you the best souvenirs ever.
actor! gojo who casually assumes that you both are married since the first time you both got caught — he bought you a ring, and just slips it on you, telling you that you're both now married. and you casually accepted, you both had your own moment, made the official marriage certificate without anyone knowing. and the next second, he just announces to the whole set who knew about his "clarification" that he's actually, for real, honestly, married to you. and he tells them his clarification wasn't just a lie to get out of the situation.
actor! gojo who posted your face for the first time in his social media after so long, and he trended again. this time, with you. the fans were so happy, he gets so happy when his fans compliments you — and he happily retweets and reposts every single thing they say about you. he's such a proud husband.
actor! gojo who mentions your name whenever he wins an award, once again telling the whole world how he wouldn't be able to make it until now without you by his side. and how he's so thankful that you're always there even during his toughest times. he has a habit of ending his award speech with a: "y/n l/n, you're the love of my life, i love you. mwah."
a fan of his made a compilation of his ending speech for you, and posted it on twitter, which of course, went viral.
actor! gojo who constantly posts you and writes about you on his social media with the cheesiest captions ever, and people were down for it. telling you how lucky you are to have a husband like him, and gojo always replies back by saying he was the lucky one.
actor! gojo who finds out you read fanfictions about him when you miss him, he pokes fun at you for it — but finds you really cute, then you both make it a routine to read fanfictions of him.
"oh, i would totally do that. how did they even come up with these? they're really good at this," gojo laughs, laying his chin on top of your shoulder as you scrolled your phone.
actor gojo! who gets so happy when you come to visit him on set, and gets so motivated because you were there real time to see him on the act. and spends his break with you, the crew on set gets so disgusted by him and posts about how gojo acts around you on social media — and the fans are finding it hilarious, they ask the crew for more information about gojo and you.
actor! gojo who definitely brings you to red carpet awards, wanting you to be there with him. asking the paparazzi to take many pictures of you so that he could save them, and they do. taking your pictures from different angles, posting them on social media so gojo could save them.
actor! gojo who refuses acts where he has to kiss another actor/ress, he didn't mind holding hands or hugging. but when it comes to locking his lips with another person who is not you — he won't do it. even when you tell him that it was fine since it was his job, gojo still refuses, and directors would go lengths as long as gojo will act for them, cutting out the kiss scenes and settling for something less intimate.
actor! gojo who sometimes get caught by paparazzi when he's on the way to visit you or when he's buying a gift for you. telling the paparazzi they shouldn't upload the pictures until a specific date when he's planning to surprise you, and the paparazzi agrees (sometimes), but when some of them uploaded the pictures right on the same day, he gets so upset that they ruined his surprise for you.
actor! gojo who protects you from shameless paparazzis, not hesitating to tell them off in front of the camera for you. because, let's all be real, most paparazzis could be a pain in the ass, they could be awful, and they could be really persistent.
"hey, back off from them. i'll fucking hurt you if you get closer, understand?" and these paparazzi will taunt him for it, but gojo could care less about them, he only cares about your safety.
"i'll ruin your fucking camera, y'piece of shit. don't you fucking dare touch my spouse, i'm serious." he mutters out, pushing away a man who had undoubtedly came rushing over, trying to get you out of the way so he could picture gojo.
actor! gojo who makes it clear that he won't tolerate people being hurting you at all. and he won't be afraid to take a risk to hurt them back for you.
actor! gojo who will sacrifice his job for you. because on camera and behind camera, all he thinks about is you.
© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#fluff#jjk#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#actor gojo#gojo#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo fluff#satoru x reader#satoru gojo#satoru x you
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There's so much that's insane about the scene in First Class where Charles is waiting for Erik, knowing he'd stolen the CIA files and was planning to run away. But upon rewatch what's getting me is realizing that in so many ways... in it, Charles is doing the same thing he did with Raven. As a child.
He catches her stealing, but realizes she's like him. And essentially, the next thing he does is provide. He tells her she can take the food, that she never has to steal again, because he'll give her what she needs. And in return she stays, in return Charles isn't alone in being different.
With Erik, it's even more intense, but it's the same. Charles believes that if he can provide, then people will stay. After saving Erik from drowning, Charles deep down thinks he's already owed staying. He tells Erik that he can help, and scoffs at Erik when he rebukes it. "Don't kid yourself. You needed my help last night. It's not just me you're walking away from," is a pretty crazy thing to say to a guy you literally just met, and with such bitterness. Then he empasizes how he could force Erik to stay, but won't... because "Shaw's got friends, you could do with some." It's once again a play on what advantage staying could give Erik.
Which is why Charles holding Shaw still, suffering through all that horrible pain, makes me want to chew glass. Charles had more than one option, if he didn't want to let things unfold the way they did. I always did wonder-- couldn't he have controlled Shaw so that he knocked Erik out, and then put him to sleep? Control Shaw's powers through Shaw? Put Shaw to sleep, period, and then never suffer what came after? But no, Charles literally chooses to serve Shaw to Erik on a platter, all while Erik's counting down. His revenge, the thing he wanted the most, frozen in place and aware as he died slowly.
But Erik doesn't stop at Shaw, doesn't change his way of thinking, doesn't choose Charles' path. All that Charles gave wasn't enough-- not for him, and not for Raven, who ultimately leaves him too.
#I'M FINE. THIS IS FINE#they really went 'Charles' fatal flaw is arrogance and a desperate need to belong'#and 'Erik's fatal flaw is single-mindedness and a desperate need for power'#x men#x men: first class#cherik#cherik meta#rants.txt
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Not His Type, His
Charles Leclerc x Reader
Summary: During an interview, he describes his ideal woman, which is the exact opposite of you, the woman he is dating.
At first, you didn't want to believe it.
As you rewatched the video, it started to sink in.
He described your exact opposite.
How does one deal with this?
How were you supposed to deal with the fact that your boyfriend just confessed that his ideal woman is nothing like you?
What were you supposed to do with that information?
Was this his way of breaking up with you?
Was this his way of saying he doesn't want you anymore?
Or were you just reading into this too much?
Your relationship with Charles wasn't a secret.
People knew, there were many photos of the two of you, most posted by yourselves.
So then what was happening?
And apparently, you weren't the only one wondering about this.
Under the video there were multiple comments. Then you got messages about different news websites reporting on the thing... great.
'F1 Driver Charles Leclerc Single Again?!'
'Trouble in Paradise! You WON'T BELIEVE what Charles Leclerc just said!'
'Charles Leclerc admits in a new interview, his girlfriend is NOT his ideal woman'
And so on.
And you weren't going to lie, it bothered you.
You ran so many scenarios through your mind.
You hoped he only spoke out of his head without a second thought. You knew how he could get after a certain race, he wouldn't think about what he was saying.
He probably didn’t even realize what he had just done.
Your phone rang but you ignored it. Later on, you checked, it was your best friend, but you wouldn’t want to talk with anyone now.
You were afraid to open the internet, you were scared to turn on the TV.
You didn’t know what to do.
Then, Charles arrived back at the hotel room.
When your eyes locked with his, both of you stayed absolutely still and quiet.
“I am stupid.” he said and you nearly started laughing, rolling on your stomach. His exact voice… perfect.
“You-”
“I didn’t mean it! I was thinking about the race, going through it in my head and then I just blurted out something. I swear!”
“Okay…”
“I will post something on Instagram or make a statement, I will fix this.” he pulled his phone out and you just knew, as soon as he saw the panic in his eyes, you forgave him.
Why were you even worried that he would want to break up with you?
“Charles.” he looked up at your from his phone, you stood up from the bed and walked over to him. “Congrats. P5 is really good.” you said as he smiled at you.
You swore his smile could make you forget everything.
“Thank you. But I really am sorry about the-”
“It’s all good. Let them burn with curiosity a little bit more… But… Just so I know… you don’t want to break up, right?”
“What?! NO! You are perfect!”
“But I’m not your ideal type.”
“You might not be, but you are mine.” you laughed a little and he pulled you in for a kiss.
It was time to celebrate a little, just the two of you, the rest of the world can burn and wait until you two were finished.
!DO NOT TRANSLATE, REPOST OR PLAGIRISE MY WORK!
#charles leclerc#charles lecrelc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc x fem reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc imagines#f1 imagines#f1#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#formula 1#formula one#formula one fanfiction#formula one fluff#formula one fic
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Me and Tom Ripley
The Talented Mr. Ripley. The Imposters. The Grifters. Inventing Anna. Saltburn.
I love stories about con artists, sociopaths, and imposters.
I've rewatched the Netflix series Ripley about six times since it came out.
When I was about thirteen years old, I read every book in the local public library about cons and cold reading. I read about how to win people over in business, I learned how to cold read. There were all these books out there that TEACH you how to pretend to be a normal person that someone wants to be friends with! These books teach you how to get people to trust you, to believe you!
I found these to be amazing tools. I could not get people to believe me, I could not figure out why people disliked me. I could not figure out what I was doing so wrong that made bullies kick me in the halls or throw things at me from schoolbuses. I knew it was something wrong with me, I knew I was messing something up, I knew I was failing. So I studied.
I studied how to fake the things I actually felt and believed.
The thing was, I wasn't lying most of the time. Most of the time I was using the social techniques of con artists and cold readers to get people to believe that things I meant. If I said "yes I like this song" in a way that was natural and comfortable for me, the person I was talking to thought I was being sarcastic and mean and that I hated the song, that I thought poorly of them for liking it. I did not! I liked the song! But to get the other person to believe me I had to remember to do all these extra things, like turn my body to 3/4 face the other person, to smile, to make me voice sound like a smile. I would think about cuddling a puppy in order to get the right amount of warmth in my eyes. I would lean in and raise the pitch of my voice.
There are all these extra THINGS I had to learn and remember to do in order to get people to respond to what I intended to say.
So, yes, I love media about con artists and grifters. I love watching people be good at that switch, at putting on the mask. I love watching people in a panic that they will be caught, be revealed, because that's how most social interactions feel to me -- constant worry that my mask will slip and the person I am talking to will suddenly feel that I'm lying to them, that I'm faking everything. (I am faking everything but it's to make sure they believe the truth! Which they won't believe unless I fake everything! I am an imposter, but in support of the truth!!)
Part of what I love about the Netflix Ripley is that Tom is only good at lying to other people when he has successfully gotten himself to believe what he is about to say. He practices and rehearses his lies so that he can sell them to others. I used to practice my facial expression in the mirror, trying to get them to look like other people's faces and expressions. I would practice my tone of voice and how to make it sound warm and friendly. All the things Tom does -- except the murders! and the theft! -- all the SOCIAL things Tom does, I have done those things in an effort to hide my autism and be accepted by the people whose respect and friendship I wanted.
Con artists, cold readers, and comic books taught me how to pretend to be neurotypical.
#actuallyautistic#autistic#masking#neurodivergent#tom ripley#ripley#the talented mr ripley#con artists#cold reading
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˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Fans ship you with another member
── when you've been dating in secret but the fans think you look good with his bandmate
pair ⟢ enhypen x idol!reader
genres ⟢ fluff, one shot, humor
HEESEUNG
Heeseung was not new to the concept of shipping. Getting involved involved in multiple cases himself, he's already come to the point where he has gotten used to all the edits and theories. So seeing his s/o get involved in some of their own was not really a shock.
Until he came across a few tiktok conspiracies of you and Sunghoon after the two of you hosted together for a music show. Comments were flooding with statements of how you both had good chemistry and that you two would make a good couple.
"Should I request the company to get us to MC together for the next show or..." Heeseung suggested, rewatching the edit on his phone.
"You could. Then you could kiss me as part of an adlib too if you want" You joked, knowing too well how that would get the both of you in a lot of trouble. "Don't test me" He replied with a smirk growing on his face
JAY
Award show season was a field day for fans. Other than the awards and performances, people always looked forward to the interactions and stage reactions. And it wasn't any different for the Heeseung and Y/N shippers.
As you were seated in the audience watching your boyfriend, Jay perform his part of their performance with Heeseung, you couldn't help but enjoy yourself with the stage they just put up. But of course, the fans thought differently. Shippers online were talking about how you were gushing and cheering for his bandmate rather than him, which Jay thought was absurd considering that there were two members on the stage at that time.
"I was right there, how could they get it so wrong?" He complained while scrolling through the tags causing you to laugh at his reaction. "If it helps, I could start smiling when you start singing your parts in the next show." "Please"
JAKE
"So care to explain why the internet thinks you and Sunoo would make a good couple?" You turned your head to meet with your boyfriend's face who was pouting while trying to show your ship name trending.
Hundreds and hundreds of tweets talking about the compatibility of you and Sunoo would have has gone wild. So much, that even an article was written about it. 'Not a couple, but we wouldn't mind if they were'
"I don't know. You tell me" You replied as you reached out to grab the phone from his hand to see the edits of you and his bandmate. Most of which talking about how your visuals compliment each other and how you have a lot of similarities. "Hm...we do look cute don't we?" "Hey!" Jake protested, grabbing his phone back. "Individually, yes. Together? No way. You're mine"
SUNGHOON
"You won't believe what I just found" Ni-ki stated as he entered the living room. You were staying over at the Enhypen dorms for the afternoon before you head over for you comeback practice. "There's this fanfiction of Y/N and Jungwon going around"
Sunghoon quickly straightened his back and grabbed the phone from Ni-ki's hand to see what he was talking about. And there it was, a fanfiction of his s/o and bandmate with tons of likes. "Jungwon!" He shouted causing you to grab his wrist. "Oh calm down, it's not like it's true" "Yeah well I'm just saying, if it was about you and me, that story would've been published on bookstores"
"I have nothing to do with this by the way" Jungwon protested as he looked over the maknae's shoulder to see what the commotion was about.
SUNOO
It was widely known about how amazing of a dancer you were. It was one of the things Sunoo loved about you. But it was also one of the things the internet saw as something you had in common with Enhypen's maknae.
When the year-end show's were beginning to be announced, fans rushed online to request a special stage with you and Ni-ki, with some even going as far as calling it a "couple dance".
"Couple dance? What are they talking about couple dance? Just 'dance' is where we draw the line" Sunoo protested with a pout on his face. Amused to see the jealous look on his face, you couldn't help but smother him in kisses. "You're so adorable, you know that? And besides, that just means I have more excuses to visit your practice room"
JUNGWON
It was comeback season for both you and your boyfriend's group. Of course, you couldn't pass on the opportunity on doing a tiktok challenge with them. This time, the task of doing the challenge was going to be with Jake. But it wasn't a problem for you or Jungwon. He still made sure to support his s/o and his bandmate as he watched them film for the video.
That was until they were up and posted, and the comments started talking about how the two of them looked cute and that they were beginning to ship them.
"Okay, from now on, I'll be doing all your tiktok challenges"
"But what if-"
"I will do all of them"
NI-KI
You probably lucked out because it wasn't everyday that you got the chance to film a variety show with yours and your boyfriend's group.
Everyone was having a blast. The whole cast was laughing and joking around, Enhypen and your members seem to be very comfortable around each other, and you get to spend the whole day with Ni-ki.
When a part of the game asked you to pair up with someone else from the lineup, and Jay just so happens to be the person available to the job.
When the show was aired, the shipping was almost inevitable. The edits and the conspiracy theories were everywhere! Contrast to popular belief, I don't think Riki is the type to get jealous over something as silly (as what he describes it) as fans making ship edits, but he will make it a topic at the table.
"Jay hyung, I heard you and y/n-"
"Whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it"
#leehslvr_writes#enhypen fluff#enhypen fanfic#enhypen reactions#enhypen fic#enhypen x reader#enhypen au#heeseung#lee heeseung#enhypen#jungwon#sunghoon#jay#park jongseong#jake sim#kim sunoo#nishimura riki#kpop
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you are love itself (君は愛そのものだ)
cw. fem!reader, childhood friend au, established relationship, love as worship, love as a choice, reader has a defined devil fruit ability
pairing. portgas d. ace x reader
synopsis. his skin is dotted in stardust.
notes. a 1.3k look into those short moments of privacy you have with ace on the moby. i got the title from 'therefore you and me' after rewatching this amazing asl brothers animatic for the billionth time. cover comes klimt's the kiss (1908).
Everything is made of stardust; the stars that made Ace are simply visible to the eye.
They couldn't be contained in the depths of his body like the rest of the world's inhabitants. It's scattered all across his skin in a beautiful display, matching the skies they fell from. Isn't that something? You brush a hand against warm skin in awe. It's all right there. The stars themselves rest upon his skin, how beautiful is that? How could anyone want someone like that dead?
When you were children, Ace told you he would bring you the moon.
What do you need the moon for when you've been touching the stars since you were 10?
Straddling his lap, you can't help laughing as you think you'd been fighting a losing battle from the start. From the beginning, you'd been drawn to Ace and his stars and you wanted to follow where they'd go for the rest of your life.
"What's so funny?" Ace murmurs into your shoulder.
"I think I was born to love you." It is the only plausible conclusion for you to reach after 10 years of loving the same person. For the half of your life you've known him, you've chosen Ace from day one. You will continue to choose him for the rest of the life you have. You chose to chase him all around Mt. Corvo, you chose to be his friend, you chose to join his crew and your heart chose him even if your head had been slow to realize. "We don't need to find the One Piece," you murmur as you lead a trail of kisses from his shoulder to Ace's cheek. "I already have everything the world has to offer right here."
You feel Ace stiffen beneath you before he laughs sheepishly, "I think you need to have your eyes checked if you think that."
"Hey," you lean back so you can see his face. Your brows are furrowed sternly but your eyes sparkle with mischief and your lips stretch into a challenging grin. "I have better eyes than you, I can see the soul."
Ace snorts but his voice is light and as warm as the smile painting his face, "souls of the dead, yeah." Smiles suit Ace more than the frowns that were once commonplace when you were younger.
"That still counts," you protest with a chuckle. He doesn't have to believe he's worthy of it, you'll tell Ace all the same. You cup his face in your hands and enjoy the vibration of his mellifluous laughter under your fingers tips as you squeeze his cheeks. "There's a lot you can learn about this sort of stuff when you can see the dead." How the soul carries its wounds even after death. How the soul carries the essence of everything that makes something itself. How love can carry on beyond the grave.
You've seen it countless times by now in your truthfully short time of being a power holder.
The spirit of a man who wanted a few berries to leave as a surprise his husband could stumble upon to brighten his day.
An elderly woman dancing in the town square, seemingly alone following the steps she took with her lost love long ago. Unbeknownst to her, however, her love danced with all the same as they did once a long time ago.
Pods of orcas full of members past and present, refusing to part from their birth pod even in death.
How beautiful it is, a love like that.
Even while deceased, they choose to remain by their beloved all the same.
Whenever it is Ace's time, he'll take his stars with him and they will rest on his skin just as they did when he was alive. But I'll make sure you're so happy you won't want to stay, you vowed when you partook of the sea's cursed fruit. You carry this vow even now. Ace will die a happy death but more importantly, he will live a long and mirthful life.
(You can tell for as sure as your eyes are dry; the urge to cry and scream in mourning and warning nonexistent. Still it's your heart's desire that you go first so you don't ever have to risk the day you know death will come for Portgas D. Ace.)
"You know what I think," you cease your pinching, letting your lax thumbs stroke his face. Dark eyes look up at you like you're a dream and gold like sunlight rests in your chest. It's light yet heavy and even if your heart is calm, its rhythmic beating tells you something precious. And he's so, so precious. "I think that when people move on, they're reborn as someone else. Then they get to live life all over again. And one day, that's gonna happen to us."
Then you'll cease to be the 'you' you have been and so will he.
Maybe that time, you'll be raised in separate seas and there will be no trio of brothers you'll latch onto. Maybe he'll be born somewhere in Paradise but I'll be from the West Blue. Or maybe he'll be a fishman. Or a giant!
Maybe next time, Ace will be a short girl with firey auburn hair and chocolate brown eyes with the disposition to match. Or he'll be a scarred and gruff dragon moray eel fishman who is an overt romantic.
Maybe next time his stars will follow him as the marker that ties him to his previous life. Then you'll recognize him the moment you see him. But even if I don't, I'll love you then too. You don't need reminders of who he was to make you want him again.
Whatever the outcome may be, you will embrace it wholly.
"Whenever that happens, I'm gonna find you and I'm going to love you all over again. You can be a girl or a giant or a fishman." Or maybe he'll be the tiny human and you'll be the giant. It will be nice being taller than Ace for once, you tell him as much with a laugh. There's a spot of wetness at the corner of his eyes that you wipe away instinctively. "Or… maybe this world runs in one big loop and we get to be us again but that time we get to make different choices. Do the stuff we didn't do last time. But regardless of all the different things I might end up doing, the one thing that is gonna stay the same is that I'll choose you all over again."
There's a pause before Ace ducks from your gaze with a wet laugh, forehead pressed against your shoulder again. The unmistakeable feel of warm droplets subsequently follow. "Thatch must be cutting onions," he chuckles weakly. "Sorry."
"Dummy," you wrap your arms around his shoulders and inhale his scent. There's a natural sweetness to it you can't explain; it's sweet but there is a peppery kick. It's been that way since the first day you met him. I love him, I love him, I love him. The sentiment echoes throughout your entire being. "it's okay to cry."
"Would you really want me again?" His voice is soft and unsure like a young bird who doesn't know if it can trust its wings.
Who else would I want?
Why would I want anyone else?
I've known you for 10 years, Ace. There's nothing about you I don't want.
"Over and over again," you kiss his temple once, twice and then a third time before you lift his head and kiss the corners of his eyes. "It's you and no one else."
A noise of surprise escapes you when Ace's lips press against your own but you relax a beat later, humming tenderly. You relish every sensation, how his arms wrap around you tight and how his fingers gently dig into your back. The taste of salt on your lips is akin to the ocean and your heartbeat reverberates throughout your chest.
Yes, it's telling you something precious.
#look she's writing#one piece x reader#op x reader#ace x reader#portgas d ace x reader#portgas d ace#i used ellipsus to write this to give it a test run#look it's self shipping hours#flaming pearls#sea otters#drabble in my brain that i couldn't get out so now y'all have to deal with it#flaming pearls (sea otters)
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After rewatching The Crossroads of Destiny, I still believe that the people who criticized Katara over her being "too mean" to Zuko after he finally joined Team Avatar in Book 3 are the dumbest people who ever walked on Earth.
Zuko searched for Team Avatar and by the end of the episode, Aang and Toph thought he'd proven himself to be worth giving a chance —they weren't friends though, that took a bit more time and it's clear— Sokka was like 'well, of you must' and gives him a chance as well and later he'd end up warming up to him along with the others.
But Katara kept being a meanie to him oh why. Well, maybe because while everyone was giving Zuko a chance, Katara had already done so before? Dear God, Katara herself explains it several times. They opened up to each other in The Crossroads of Destiny, she felt bad for him and she offered to use the Spirit Oasis water to heal his scar and started believing he'd changed-- only for him to join Azula and help her five minutes later, betraying his own uncle that had gone to rescue him. She was ready to give him a chance and it ended up with him proving in her eyes that he didn't deserve it, with Aang barely surviving and with Ba Sing Se captured by the Fire Nation. Katara was right, what's assuring her that he won't end up doing the same thing and hurting her friends again?
Listen, I love Zuko, he's one of my favorite characters overall. But yeah, Katara had every right not to trust him and dislike him and to be furious at him, most of all when you remember that this was the second chance she was giving him, not the first like the others. Anyone who thinks otherwise and only empathizes with Zuko but never with Katara-- well.
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Whenever I rewatch the Madoka Magica episodes + the two recap movies, I always feel that the sentiment "Homura did nothing wrong," shines through the most here and less so Rebellion (I'll get into this later) even though ironically, the Rebellion movie is where that infamous saying was coined.
-Homura cannot DO any wrong when everything sort of already goes wrong no matter if she intervenes or not. Mami dies whether or not Homura intervenes (she goes crazy when she finds out that magical girls are all destined to turn into witches and then goes on a murder-suicide rampage, she's killed by Walpurgis, she gets caught off guard, etc.) All of these deaths happened on Mami's accord and not Homura's, so of course there's no wrongdoing to be had.
-Even if you argue that Homura could've been nicer to her, Mami automatically assumed that Homura had the worst intentions for Madoka and the others, so she never really gave her a chance even WHEN Homura went through the effort of finding a grief seed solely to befriend Mami (which Homura does in most timelines FYI.) The moment Homura isn't Mami's sweet little junior student anymore, Mami is automatically on defense and even calls her a loser just because she doesn't want Madoka to make a contract, and Mami just assumes that it's because Homura doesn't want competition (which makes no sense because Homura offered her a grief seed.)
-Mami does the same thing to Kyoko in the Different Story Manga; Once Kyoko's parents died and she became distraught, she didn't want to follow Mami's ideals anymore and this leads them into getting into a physical altercation (sound familiar?)
-Mami has never been a person you can just causally talk things through to. If she believes you don't share the same ideals on things, she can and will fight you. She doesn't fight Sayaka or Madoka because those two largely agree with her on everything, but Kyoko and Homura? They're free game if they so much as look at her sideways.
-Mami also says that making a wish should be something you seriously think about and not just dive in willy nilly, but then turns around and tells Madoka that she should wish for a cake if she still hasn't figured it out all because Mami doesn't want to be alone.
-I'm going to give Mami the benefit of the doubt and assume she wasn't being serious, but she knows how impressionable Madoka is and regardless of how serious or not she is, she's still fine with Madoka making a wish and becoming a magical girl just so she won't be lonely anymore.
-Homura tries her damn hardest to befriend Mami (she offers her a grief seed as I mentioned earlier, she listens when Mami tells her to go away without a fuss, and she warns Mami of the witch Charlotte only to be ignored and tied up) and the only thing she gets in return is Mami's unwarranted hostility. And once Homura is proven right and Mami is beheaded in front of Madoka and Sayaka, causing an insurmountable amount of trauma to them, she still quietly grieves for her even when all Mami did was assume the worst with no evidence.
-I don't necessarily blame Mami for assuming that Homura didn't have the best intentions since she's a veteran and I'm certain has had other negative run-ins with magical girls, but it's not like Homura even provided enough evidence that she would be like them. Mami was just being territorial due to force of habit (she's fine with other magical girls so long as they stay her juniors as evident in Rebellion when the moment Homura "turns different," she's highly suspicious and is ready to go guns blazing.) She doesn't even give Homura a chance to explain herself in either the show or the movie and that's one of her biggest flaws; she's so perfectionist that she can't even see what's in front of her sometimes.
-Despite this, Homura still values her as her old mentor and is hurt when the person who saved her all those timelines ago calls her a loser to her face. She even says that Mami has the softest heart of all and wishes she could forget how she trampled over her and other's feelings, (even though when you look back, Mami was the one who hurt her feelings rather than the other way around.)
And yet she still says this...
-"And it hurt me..." Homura admitting that shows just how much she cares. The fact that she's able to admit that it wasn't what Mami said that hurt her, but the fact that shattering Mami's optimistic viewpoint with the reality of the magical girl system was what hurt.
-Homura knows about Mami's tragic backstory with her parents and also knows that Mami, "doesn't have any other family to speak of," which shows she's been very close to Mami at one point, even seeing her vulnerable side just like Madoka did when Mami had that breakdown shortly before she died to Charlotte.
-She also "envies Mami" because Madoka states that she'll remember her even after she dies. Homura is obviously envying Mami because Madoka will forever see Mami in a good light in death while Madoka is afraid of her, but she could also just be envying Mami because, well, Mami died and left Madoka feeling attached to her while Homura thought she was going to die without ever being able to be close to Madoka as she once was. Context clues people, context clues.
-If you look at the different story manga, which I and many others consider canon, Homura clearly still has PTSD from Mami's murder-suicide attempt, which is the main reason why she tries to be gentle with her and listen to her when she's ordering Homura around.
-And she also notes that Mami never "held her hand," like that. Regardless of what Homura thinks, she clearly still wants or wanted that intimacy with Mami. She still saw her as an older sister figure and I know it crushed her heart when Mami said something so cruel to her.
-She also declines when Mami believes that Homura is going to kill her, even though her soul gem is stained and she technically is on her way to becoming a witch. Instead, Homura imparts some words to her.
-In the case of Sayaka...Whooo boy, it's like ten times worse than Mami. Sayaka is so caught up in her ideals that she hates anything too wild and selfish, but also weak and passive. She craps on Kyoko for being immoral and then also craps on Madoka AND Homura for not doing enough (she says that Madoka has a lot of potential but doesn't do anything with it and says Homura is too unskilled to fight effectively.) She views herself, or at least tries to, as the ultimate magical girl of justice who's moral, selfless, and most of all, strong. She doesn't view Homura, at least the one in the past timelines, as someone strong enough to be a proper magical girl.
-Sayaka holds everyone to the standard of Mami Tomoe, someone who's graceful, strong, and selfless, but she never gets the chance to realize that that version of Mami Tomoe isn't the real one and the standard she holds herself and others don't exist, which is why in every single timeline, she ALWAYS ends up witching out. It's also why in every timeline, she's antagonistic to Homura no matter if it was her timid self or the one hardened by trauma.
-She blames Homura in one timeline for attempting to warn them about Kyubey, accusing her of trying to split the group up, but then in Magia Record, when Homura DOESN'T tell them about Kyubey because she's seen how pointless it is, Sayaka gets on her case for not telling them sooner and accuses her of not telling because Homura "finds it funny." She literally can't win, no matter how quiet and out of the way she is.
-And it doesn't get better once Homura becomes "stronger" (or at the least the facade of becoming it) Sayaka just thinks that she's one of those magical girls who kills only for herself (and while Sayaka's not ALL the way wrong as she will kill solely for Madoka, she also doesn't understand that the system is designed to be like that and that's the fault of Kyubey and not Homura.)
-We're never actually shown Homura saving civilians, but we also don't see her sit idly by and let them get hurt either. Homura's viewpoint is that magical girls aren't morally obligated to be heroes and she's right; magical girls are cattle being harvested and the "good" they do is only delaying the inevitable once they witch out. No matter how noble and pure Sayaka was or wanted to be, she was eventually going to witch out and harm others, even if she wanted to save people.
-The nature of magical girls is equivalent exchange; whatever "good" is done, an equal amount of or even more bad is sure to come of it. Sayaka was going to keep killing innocent civilians as a witch until someone put her out of her misery, and that was what Homura was going to do. Sayaka doomed herself the moment she made a contract with Kyubey, and more importantly, she doomed innocent civilians, and she doomed her friends.
-Sayaka's witching out leads Mami to go crazy and attempt to kill everyone, Madoka making a contract in several timelines to save Sayaka from witching out (she does so in the Different Story Manga and Sayaka still ends up hurt) and Kyoko dying either from suicide during her confrontation with Octavia or dying from the wounds she sustains from the battle. Not to mention Sayaka witching out breaks Madoka's psyche, which is what Homura is trying to avoid.
-It would be one thing if Sayaka just died on her own accord, but she always brings others with her down her descent into despair, whether it's by killing civilians as a witch or being mean to Madoka and making her feel as though Sayaka's witching out was partly her fault.
-That's why Homura was in the right to "put her down" essentially, and even though she said she would, she couldn't bring herself to because somewhere deep down, she still cared for Sayaka. She apologizes for blowing up Sayaka in one of the first few timelines when she witches out and she blames herself for Sayaka making a contract in the TV series timeline, even saying that she should've protected Sayaka as much as Madoka even though Sayaka has never been anything BUT mean to her in the beginning. She takes responsibility for the girls' downfall even though it was inevitable.
-Another thing is her kinship with Kyoko. Because Kyoko and Homura both grew up in religious homes (Homura with catholic school and obliviously Kyoko's father being a preacher) they have the closest views on what it means to be magical girls. Note how I didn't say similar, but closest. Homura and Kyoko's wishes were for someone else, and as a result, they firmly believe that their wishes are for the sake of those people and won't pretend to be heroes or the like. The only difference is that Kyoko is much wilder and rougher because her wish directly led to the murder-suicide of her family (cough cough, like a big sister figure that killed her OTHER found family.)
-It's also the reason why Homura and Kyoko became so close in Rebellion. Kyoko was the only magical girl, apart from Madoka and even SHE sometimes didn't trust Homura, to kill Walpurgis. Kyoko agrees to fight with Homura and even though she is purely doing this for her benefit, she at least gives Homura a CHANCE and hears her out, even offering her a pocky stick. She was willing to team up with her and was also the first person that Homura felt comfortable talking to in Rebellion when she felt that something was up.
(I'll go into further specifics in another post since I ran out of image/video usage. Damn this app 😭.)
#devil homura#homura akemi#madoka magica rebellion#madokami#pmmm madoka#puella magi madoka magica#sayaka miki#mami tomoe discussion#homura x madoka#kyoko x homura#Madoka magica discussion post#holy quintet#holy quintet character discussion#madoka magica discussion post
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Why all the crowd scenes look the same, aka: Something is WRONG in Soho
I'm not even gonna tease and draw this out because it's so cool it doesn't need the fanfare. Ready?
Season 2 takes place over the course of 5 days. During that time, most of the passersby in Soho - maybe even all of them - stay exactly the same. It's the same people every day, wearing the exact same clothes, and they wander through the neighbourhood in paths that don't make any sense. You won't be able to unsee it. I can't believe it's taken us this long to realise.
Don't believe me? Rewatch the scene from 2x03, I Know Where I'm Going where Shax confronts Crowley outside the bookshop, appearing in a series of different guises. Pay attention to the people going past.
I've marked out five people you see on screen when Crowley first exits the bookshop at 39:37:
Numbers 1, 2 and 3 are following the path right. Number 4 follows the path left. Number 5 crosses the road.
Here the five people are again, at 40:19, when Crowley goes to return to the bookshop:
Number 5 is still visible in the distance, in the direction she walked in. This makes sense! But numbers 1, 2, 3 and 4 are rounding the same corner they just passed. It's as though 1, 2 and 3 all decided to turn and head back the way they came just 40 seconds ago, and number 4 has circled the block to join them.
This on its own would be super weird, but they're not the only people to do that in this scene. The man in the purple sweater from the first picture crosses the road, then appears back next to the bookshop, then starts walking back the way he came again.
Here's the part that made me absolutely certain, though. At 40:05, a man wearing an orange hoodie with blue sleeves walks past Crowley, who is heading towards the bookshop entrance.
The camera cuts to a view from behind Crowley, and a moment later, at 40:08...
He reappears in front of Crowley and walks past him again.
It's such a distinctive outfit, there's no mistaking it. They are absolutely fucking with the background characters and they are absolutely doing it on purpose.
Your turn. There are at least three other characters in this scene who pass by multiple times. Watch it again and try to spot them.
This scene is really chaotic and obvious, but the phenomena I'm talking about is much bigger than just one scene. Let's go back to the first thing I said: the background characters don't change. All our leads do. Maggie and Nina wear distinctive outfits, clearly demarcating each new day. Even Crowley and Aziraphale, who in season 1 were like cartoon characters with wardrobes full of identical clothing, vary their looks. Crowley changes his (very subtly) each day; Aziraphale is less rigid on timing, but he has a few different coats that he switches between. The background characters, on the other hand, wear the same outfits every single day. They walk by on the street but they never actually seem to have a destination. They sit in the coffee shop or pub and don't eat or drink anything, and nearly everyone leaves together exactly on closing time. It's eerie.
For reference's sake, here's a rough timeline of season 2, with pictures of Maggie and Nina's outfits to show the passing of time. I had to outsource this section because my post was too image heavy, lol. The main point I wanted to make is that five days go by.
Five days, and all the same faces keep showing up in the background, and almost none of them change their clothes. I'm not entirely sure what it means, but there's no way it's an accident. It might, in fact, be a game changer. To me this is proof positive that something is not as it seems. I've been a massive Clue skeptic, adamant that I'd only be convinced by the most unambiguous evidence, and honestly? This is enough to move the dials. It's too big for me to ignore. Whatever grand explanation of Good Omens we come up with has to account for this. I don't have it yet, but my current working theories are that Crowley and Aziraphale are under some seriously heavy surveillance, that time warping is involved, or that reality itself is not what it seems.
It would take a really long time for me to go through all of the background characters who turn up over and over but I do want to show you what I'm talking about. To wrap up, then, I'm going to pick out some memorable characters and walk you through a few of their appearances through the week. I highly recommend looking out for this yourself on your next rewatch and seeing how many other characters you can recognise.
Yellow Skirt
The first person I kept coming back to as being not quite right. You probably remember her from the first episode - she's the one who waves and walks past Maggie and Nina the night they're locked in together. Incidentally, she's also Person Number 3 in the scene with Shax.
Day 1 (2x01 - 36:20):
Day 2 (2x02 - 42:03)
Day 3 (2x03 - 06:36)
Day 5 (2x06 - 30:00)
Coolest Leather Jacket In The World
It's not so easy to recognise people wearing lots of nondescript dark colours, but I love his hair and his jacket, so he stood out to me. I think there might be a lot more people who are wearing fairly nondescript clothes who I just can't recognise from episode to episode.
Day 2 (2x02 - 16:44)
Day 4 (2x04 - 41:20)
Day 5 (2x06 - 29:20)
Dressed In Mustard
Ms Mustard shows up everywhere. If you want to see what I mean about their paths not making sense, pay attention when she comes on screen, because she'll often show up a few times in succession and walk very purposefully to nowhere in particular. The thing that she is doing, essentially, is behaving like an extra in a tv show. Which of course she is, but you're supposed to make that invisible by not having the same person go back and forth in the same scene, or changing up their outfit each in-universe day to give the sense time is passing. Not doing that is a really deliberate choice.
Day 1 (2x01 - 22:37)
Day 2 (2x02 - 42:03)
Day 3 (2x03 - 01:49)
Day 3 (2x03 - 37:07)
Day 5 (2x06 - 29:59)
Swishy Dress
This character shows up a lot in the first episode. I've struggled to find her in later episodes, though. None of the characters seem to follow the same patterns or show up to equal extents each day, which makes me think this isn't a straightforward time loop. I haven't actually cross referenced character appearances to in world times, though. Possibly this is a project for someone who's more across the time-related shenanigans than me.
Day 1 (2x01 - 22:43)
Day 3 (2x03 - 07:01)
Yellow Vest
I've only seen this guy a handful of times, always around the French restaurant. I wonder if there's significance to that.
Day 2 (2x02 - 41:06)
Day 4 (2x05 - 12:49)
Fuzzy Blue Coat
Another background character who shows up frequently. The blue doesn't stand out quite as much as the yellows and reds some characters wear, but it's very distinctive.
While we're getting a lot of shots of the street, it's worth noting that I'm pretty sure the vehicles we see are also just the same few cars repeating each day. A lot of them are in neutral silvers and monochrome, but there's a couple of blue cars, one red, and one black and white that I'm fairly sure I've seen over and over through the season.
Day 1 (2x01 - 22:45)
Day 2 (2x02 - 42:04)
Day 3 (2x03 - 02:00)
Day 5 (2x06 - 40:10)
Day 5 (2x06 - 48:56)
Day 5 (2x06 - 50:06)
One final note: Whatever this is, Nina's employee who you see in the background at the coffeeshop sometimes isn't affected by it. He's wearing different outfits each day. On the other hand, some of the other shopkeepers do seem affected. I'm fairly sure Mr Brown and Mrs Sandwich wear the same outfits a few different days, only changing because of Aziraphale at the ball.
And that's it! Thanks for reading and I hope your mind is blown as much as mine is.
EDIT:
Hey I don't mind anyone pointing out production reasons that this might be the case or disagreeing with my analysis (over-analysis, some might say 😉). Please be kind about it, though. I'm not ignorant of the practical limitations involved in film making, but some of these costumes were really distinctive in a way I thought might be intended to draw attention.
For those of you who do find this theory convincing, I feel I should mention that I was working under the assumption that this stuff would have taken a few days to film, even filming it all together. That would strongly suggest that the actors were deliberately costumed the exact same way over multiple days of shooting, which made me think it had to be purposeful. @coranax was kind enough to point out, though, that behind the scenes videos said the extras were filmed separately to the main actors because of Covid protocols. In that case, they could have done it in just one day and that weakens my confidence in its intentionality.
Finally, all of my points about the scene with Shax in 2x03 stand. That was not a case of accidental continuity errors, it was really elegantly choreographed to enhance the tension in the scene. I say that with confidence because the extras are doing exactly what Shax is doing: circling Crowley, appearing where he doesn't expect them, creating a whirlwind sense of being off balance and out of control. I think it's really cool and effective, whether there's a deeper meaning to it or not.
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Okay so I had to put my thoughts down in words
I just don’t know how to feel about what Jimin said in the bts of Muse, other than sad.
I guess I should start by saying I’d been dreading him saying something along the lines of that since I heard Who, as to why he made it. The MV bts came and went and then bam, we get a mini production diary, with saying he’s looking for love and is alone. Exactly how I thought he would explain it.
I hoped I’d be wrong but alas, he more than confirmed he is single. I suppose it’s not surprising, but all of our collective hope or support seems in vein now.
I’m still going to watch the travel show but I feel sad about it tbh. They make such a cute pair.
I'm really sorry that you feel that way love.
Especially knowing that you are just not taking what JM said the right way.
In any case babe, whatever you might believe about their relationship, that shouldn't take from you supporting them for being the most adorable human beings possible.
I won't go too much into the BTB. I do think you need to watch it multiple times, try to pay attention to JM's body language too. But I will say that I do think that your reaction here is unwarranted, in the sense that JM IS NOT saying he's single or that he is looking for love or that he is alone.
Let's start with the fact that JM was going for the gender neutral lyrics to start with, but that changed, probably because it sounded better with the "she" instead of the "you".
So, yeah, JM originally wasn't looking for a she, but a you. Funny how if this was an autobiographical song that would have mattered, right? Oh, wait a second. It isn't.
The song is not about JM, not about his real life, not about his actual experiences down to the T.
Not this song, nor Muse the album, even though the other songs were written by him.
Not an autobiography. Unlike Face.
JM says it here and he said it in his album exchange with RM!!
See, it looks like you are doing exactly what JM wanted fans to do. And that is get the wrong idea!!
Did you miss this perhaps?
Yeah, you probably missed JM saying this.
Btw, when JM talks about his diary, I really don't believe he means a personal diary where he writes his wants and needs and experiences, lol. He's talking about that diary where he writes his ideas for the album, his ideas for the songs, where he wrote his lyrics to the songs for Face (we got that diary with Face) and for Muse. And JM, he's a shy boy, Idk if you are aware of that. This young man who oozes confidence on stage is so very shy and the experience of having to explain to John Billion the idea he wants for the song and it coming to life left him a little self conscious, shy.
This isn't about the song telling the story of his life. This is about having to explain an idea for a song, his vision, it actually being something that he isn't going through.
Ok, moving on.
Again, JM explaining the vibe he is going for with the song.
And again his shyness.
He continues to say that he poured all his emotions into this so he's embarrassed.
Not because these emotions are his as in this is what he feels right now longing for love, but because he feels embarrassed to explain his emotions about the song, the emotions he's looking for in the song.
I suggest that if you are having an issue with understanding how this song is not JM, not his life, maybe go rewatch the album exchange with RM.
youtube
And read my post on it as well.
These feeling JM is trying to encompass in Muse (and Who) are part of the universal language of love, a language he is using in Muse to convey his message, which is not literal.
And specifically when he talks about Who, it's about that feeling of excitement in his work that he's looking for. Those are the feelings he's talking about. Not the lyrics about the "she" (who was supposed to be a "you"). Not the lyrics that are written in the universal language of love. No. It's about the feelings about his work. The feelings about the message he is trying to convey. Which has NOTHING to do with his love life!!!
But again, he's telling us about those feelings through a language we all understand. So that longing he has for that feeling with his work is brought to life as a longing for a someone to love.
This!!
It's a story he wants to tell!!!
And the whole "everyone's living alone" sentence that you are probably clinging to, cause obviously...
a. He could be talking about the fact that at some point of every person's life, they are living alone, as without a partner, a loved one, and as such it's a relatable feeling.
b. It's not like people that are in relationships don't feel alone at times. Even JM, who was in a committed relationship with JK when going through the struggles and feelings he had and poured into Face, into Alone felt that way. I bet you JK was feeling alone or lonely during the time JM was working on Face and Muse. During those lives in Feb 2023. And yet, he was in a committed relationship with the person he loved.
c. He's trying to tell a story, and he's trying to convey his longing for that feeling with regards to his work, and being lonely is how he's explaining it, the way he's conveying it to us. Hence the "everyone's living alone"... meaning - that is something everyone will understand, meaning, hoping he picked the right idea, the right way to convey his message as the 6th song for Muse!!!
THAT IS ART!!!
And JM created art. Not "this is a song based on my own experience" art, which he did with Face, but "this is a story I want to tell that will help you understand my feelings about my work" art.
And he knew.
He knew people will make the wrong assumptions.
Just like you are right now.
Side note, and before I go, Idk if you have noticed this, but Muse, promoting the album, talking about the album, is so much easier for JM to do than Face. With Face all we got was that it's personal, that he was struggling, but not much more than that. JM was pretty much staying quiet, and even when he did talk he was saying much of nothingness. While with Muse he's talking, he's opening up, he's explaining. You know why? Because it's not about his life!!
Just saying.
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I went and rewatched all the interviews and there is just no way those songs and the Milk t-shirt photo was not about Luke. Here are my thoughts about what happened, let me know what you think!
Also, yes, it's entirely delulu but...
*N/L had a casual situationship after filming S3, but eventually both want to be sure that their feelings weren't directly related to being in such close proximity for so long. N pulls away because she's not sure that what they felt was the real deal and wants space to figure that out. L (being someone who prefers being in a relationship, finds A). They have a casual situationship. A knows about N/L's situationship.
*In Nov/Dec A and L's situationship gets more serious so N realizes that perhaps it was what was supposed to happen and (since she is guarded and a little jaded about love) focuses on her career and the upcoming WT.
*The WT comes and BAM! those feelings between L/N are back again and they're full force and too hard to ignore.
*L/N have a discussion about their situation and things...happen. *L/N decide that once the WT ends, they're going to pursue a relationship, likely a serious one based on N's family's reaction to meeting L in Ireland (come on, no one responds like that to meeting a co-star!) and the ring N had custom-made, a ring (that looks to have hands with rings that L wears)! This isn't a subtle sign. This ring was custom-made and listed on Chupi's website as an engagement ring (which the engagement part was later removed...another interesting tidbit) and N liked AND favorited a TT (accidentally) that talks about this ring being an engagement ring!! Whether that's the case or not, I believe 100% that L bought her that ring. I also believe the plan was ALWAYS for them to come back to each other (not only because of the song choice she posted with the lyrics 'I'll wait for you') but the fact that N wore this ring in the 'in a relationship' status since the moment she received it. THAT is telling!
*A finds out that things between L/N have heated up and she's upset (Brazillian Bob haircut era) even though L likely attempted to end things with her multiple times, but she won't go away. She confronts L and threatens to go to the media about him wronging her. And since no one knows the BTS situation between L/N, this could make them both look very bad and affect their careers. So they play along and L promises to help A launch her career by continuing their situationship. L gives A conditions though - he doesn't want to be in any photos where it could look like they're a couple. He doesn't mind if there is the assumption they are together, because he is hoping to just ride this thing out and then make a clean cut from A. He will also not publicly claim her, as all of them know that L/N are end game. Because A is who she is (and seeks media attention) she agrees to these terms, but believes she can change L's mind. This is what we see in her taunting N because she's extremely jealous of her. This is also why we see papgate happen and L's comment (we won't let her ruin our night - imo this was to N about A). A (imo) made papgate happen to prolong their relationship and publicly claim L so that she could control the narrative. Which is why L looks so pissed in the photos. Now this prolongs the ability to cut things off cleanly because the entire world has seen A.
*We see some (most) of the fandom react negatively to the papgate situation, which left everyone confused as to why N was coming to L's defense on instagram (since the majority of us KNEW what we saw between the two of them was genuine) and this was a slap in the face to N to bring A to the premiere. But what we didn't know is that she came to his defense because she KNEW the plan all along and knew that A was trying to split them up and foil their plans to eventually be together.
*L/N discuss what happened and there are some hurt feelings and they disagree on how to handle the situation. And we see their frustration with N's SATC TT she posted and quickly deleted and their lack of sm likes/etc. between the two. I think there was a lot more going on BTS that we didn't know about during this timeframe. Maybe N decided to take a break from things because of what happened and because she's focusing on her career and this caused a rift between them. Or L is just biding his time with A while N turns the other way. Either way, they're not together this summer and L looks absolutely miserable with A. My guess is that papgate and A came between them temporarily (A's plan the whole time).
*But then we get Italy. At this point, L and A have been 'together' doing stuff (always shown in friend groups, never alone together) as part of their earlier agreement. A is pulling out all the stops to win L, but he's not responding. A is frustrated and things take a drastic turn in Italy.
*After Italy, we see L's whole friend group (A, S and R) all stop posting and go virtually quiet. We see N's french toast pic (maybe this is a nod to her cooking things for L or maybe she just wanted to post it. We don't know). But then we get the Scrabble pic with the 'HeyA' etc...we also see N post two songs in quick secession with the lyrics "it's nice to hear your voice again, it's been a long time..." If this was about JD, why would she post that? She's been hanging out with him on/off through out the entire summer. The other song is about opening herself up and the other person knowing N entirely. If that's not L, I don't know what would be. He's seen her about her most vulnerable. And THEN we get the Milk t-shirt photo. Which, imo, is a direct tie-back to references to Tomdaya. She knows that we know she follows them and has mentioned them in interviews. There would be no reason for her to post this (Johnny's charity for this was in June). She knew we'd connect the dots and imo, she was soft-launching L and preparing us for what was to come. And after going back through the interviews, there is just no way anyone could convince me that she fell head over heels with him (JD) after looking at L the way she did and wearing a ring (that she's mentioned is related to her time in Bton and has the ring fingers with L's rings!) in the relationship status since she's received it. Why would she use this ring to denote that she's in a relationship with anyone else? Wouldn't that be a little strange?
*But a lot is going on between L and A and his disentanglement from her and to distract from their situation, N starts posting other pics (notice how there are none of JD on her grid and JD mostly likes the ones of L and N together?)
*We see N go to a festival with friends. The paps claim she's with JD. I firmly believe that JD is a friend and nothing more. I say this for a few reasons - no one batted an eye when we saw N pop up around town with JD earlier this summer, she's typically private about her relationships, she has no pics of him on her grid (look at the tons she has of L) and there are questions about who JD's dated in the past. BUT, since this is convenient for both of them atp, N is going to run with it. This is the perfect opportunity to detract from what is really going on BTS. And this is exactly how N wants it until things are completely resolved with A. Meanwhile, L is laying low and dealing with the disentanglement (which may or may not involve legalities at this point). DM backtracks (not out of any favor to N) but maybe because she's received inside info and she's not being paid by A to build a narrative anymore (yes, that's entirely speculation).
IMO, we just have to wait a few and we'll see L and N come out as a couple.
Um I LOVE THIS LEVEL OF DELULU, TYYYY! ❤️️
I agree with a lot of this as well!
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My Favorite Good Omens Moment:
An Essay on Why It Is Cool and Rad (Part 1)
There's this moment in Good Omens that makes me cackle every time I see it and leaves me full of warmth, so here's an essay on its context and meaning, because explication and analysis are how I show love. I will try to keep my thoughts as tight as possible, but they do have a tendency to spiral outwards, and I am very stoned. Come, sistren, and get nerdy with me.
My favorite moment in the series so far occurs in 1601. To approach it we will first need an assload of context. There's a TL;DR in bold at the end of the Context if you don't fancy reading the whole assload. Key arguments are in italics and bold throughout.
David Tennant gives Crowley a very consistent facial expression every time Aziraphale says something so outlandish Crowley can't quite believe he's hearing it. It's this one:
Chronologically, we see the Eyebrows of Disbelief twice before my fave moment in 1601: once (above left) in that scene on the Garden Wall that familiarizes the audience with Crowley's face before adding the dark glasses, when Aziraphale admits he's given away his sword; once when Aziraphale tells Bildad the Shuhite that he, Aziraphale, has Fallen because he lied to the angels to save Job's children.
The Eyebows of Disbelief always signal surprise and amusement with something Aziraphale has said or done. This amusement is sometimes at Aziraphale's expense and sometimes not.
In the gifs above, Crowley is laughing because what Aziraphale has just admitted to doing is fantastic and unexpected and frankly pretty gd punk rock. He's not laughing at Aziraphale, he's laughing because he is delighted with him. The only record we have thus far of Crowley laughing at Aziraphale is this one:
Crowley laughs when Aziraphale informs him--him, a demon who has personally been through the process of Falling--that Aziraphale is Fallen and must be a demon now. As though of the two of them Aziraphale is the expert on how and under what circumstances this occurs.
And yet when Crowley sees Aziraphale's distress--not his fear of being taken to Hell, but his heartbreak and lostness over the fact that his conscience has diverged from God's stated will--Crowley stops laughing, and instead he acts very kindly towards Aziraphale. He validates the gravity of what Aziraphale has done and assures him he won't turn him in. He sits with him so Aziraphale isn't totally alone (like Crowley probably was) as he goes through the loneliest moments of his existence to that point and picks himself up newly weighted with the secret he must now bear.
And after this scene (in canon as it stands thus far), we don't see Crowley laugh at anything Aziraphale says or does again.
And he really has to work for it sometimes. We talk a lot about the things Michael Sheen is able to convey with his face in Good Omens, and absolutely rightly so; David Tennant earns a chunk of his paycheck in this regard as well. If you haven't given yourself the treat yet, rewatch the scene in Will Goldstone's magic shop in 1941 and focus on Crowley's reactions:
youtube
Tennant takes great care to show, with precision, that Crowley is expending effort not to react to Aziraphale's nervous chaos Muppetry and lack of self-awareness. Crowley is self- and socially and contextually aware enough that he knows (better than Aziraphale, at least, which is not a high bar to clear) what's cringe, what's funny, what's ridiculous, how to behave. But whenever Aziraphale crosses a boundary of normalcy, or even sanity, and there is opportunity to laugh at him, Crowley very carefully doesn't react. He doesn't interrupt him, he doesn't try to correct him, he doesn't make fun of him, he doesn't even smirk; he just watches him, as stone-faced as he can manage, no matter how bizarre Aziraphale becomes.
We should be reading this lack of reaction to Aziraphale's social and rational transgressions as powerful positive action. Go watch the Doctor Who episode "Human Nature," or literally any episode of The Inbetweeners, or read or watch Regeneration, and reflect on what it shows you about English masculinity; then consider again the depth of significance in how English- and male-coded character Crowley treats English- and male-coded character Aziraphale in an England created by an English and male-codedpresenting author based off a book written by himself and another male-presenting author. Within its context of English masculinity, Crowley's lack of reaction is not a neutral stance; it is a very fucking loud show of support.
This is not even an inference; it's stated outright in the show. Crowley himself puts it into words 422 years after my favorite moment:
You know how Crowley calls Aziraphale "angel" because the factuality of the descriptor offers him plausible deniability to any Heavenly or Infernal agents who might be listening? Remember how Crowley is a great equivocator? Crowley is equivocating here, too: he's using the cover of what Maggie and Nina will take as a disparaging joke at Aziraphale's expense in order to make a perfectly sincere statement. This is his genuine perception of one of the relationship dynamics he has with Aziraphale and how he feels about that dynamic. Crowley thinks he himself is quite witty (an accurate assessment), Crowley thinks Aziraphale isn't sufficiently self- or contextually aware to hide how strange he is and therefore frequently says and does mad things (also an accurate assessment), and Crowley is Into. That. Shit.
Okay. Now let's look at 1601.
Chronologically it's been almost 1,000 years since we last saw Aziraphale and Crowley. In 537, Aziraphale isn't willing even to consider a labor-saving working arrangement with Crowley of fucking off home out of the damp of Arthurian Wessex; but by 1601, he's worked (and met, and Arranged) with Crowley "dozens of times now," Crowley says, and Azirapahle does not correct him.
In that millienium, Aziraphale has grown to care deeply about Crowley:
In fact he may be somewhat smitten with him:
Seriously, go back and watch Aziraphale here as Crowley approaches and starts speaking to him: he doesn't start smiling until he recognizes that the person speaking to him is Crowley (but he only smiles at Crowley while Crowley's not looking at him).
And Crowley is definitely become smitten with Aziraphale:
Our man(-shaped entity) is so allergic to work he sets up a meeting to weasel, cajole, or (as it happens) cheat a coin toss to get Aziraphale to do an easy temptation for him in Edinburgh, and then in the same conversation agrees to miracle a play into success because Aziraphale gives him a single hopeful look. Crowley's got it bad.
TL;DR: The Eyebrows of Disbelief happen when Crowley is surprised and amused by something Aziraphale has said or done. Sometimes that amusement is delight with Aziraphale; sometimes it is at Aziraphale's expense. Crowley is aware of this distinction, and when his amusement is at Aziraphale's expense, he suppresses it, even when it takes some effort on his own part, and remains stocially composed. This is equivocation on his part: to Celestial/Infernal operatives lacking knowledge of the intricacies of human behavior, this non-reaction would seem like neutrality; to Aziraphale, who shares with Crowley and the audience the contextual knowledge of English masculinity's utter viciousness, this non-reaction is a profound show of support; and in the safety of support from Crowley, Aziraphale lets his weirdness blossom.
As another meta points out [link if I find it again], we also see in Aziraphale's wordless request about Hamlet and Crowley's immediate understanding of it that by 1601 Aziraphale and Crowley have developed an unspoken, coded method of communication with each other.
Now that we have all of that in mind, here's my favorite moment in Good Omens:
Ixi of Fuck Yeah Good Omens has even kindly archived a closeup of the aftermath, for Crowley, of "Buck up!" In gif 4, above, you can see that the tiny smile is an involuntary reaction that happens as Crowley's eyes widen: for a fraction of a second, he's caught off-guard. In the closeup it's easier to see that he suppresses the smile and gives a tiny shake of his head, Eyebrows of Disbelief heading for his hairline.
There are a number of things Crowley's reaction could mean and what messages it could communicate (we'll get to that in a sec), but regardless, his reaction is, unquestionably, one of surprise and suppressed amusement. This is an aspect of Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship and characters that I like very much, viz., that one of the reasons Crowley likes Aziraphale (though Aziraphale is judgy and occasionally, unintentionally, horrifyingly cruel) is that in addition to being one of the kindest and most courageous beings in existence, Aziraphale is mad as a bag of frogs. Crowley does not know what is going to come out of Aziraphale's lovely mouth next, but Crowley does know there's a good chance he will struggle to believe he's hearing it, and Crowley likes that.
That's what makes this my favorite moment. What makes this moment so cool and rad, though, is its ineffability. We know from the Eyebrows of Disbelief that Crowley is surprised and amused, but any of several things could be read in that almost imperceptible headshake. Like:
What are you doing? or
Why are you like this? or
How can you be aware that you say these things out loud and yet still say them out loud? or
How has my existence come to this? this moment of listening to such insanity?
each of which is a fair and just feeling to have/message to communicate to a man(-shaped entity) who is yelling "Buck up!" at Hamlet.
But that's only if we read Crowley's amusement as being at Aziraphale's expense. And I don't think we should. Because watch Aziraphale here:
He's doing it on purpose. He is shouting a hilariously inappropriate, 100% authentic Aziraphale-brand thing over arguably the gloomiest passage of Shakespeare's famously gloomy play--right after Crowley complains about its gloominess--and he is watching Crowley as he does it. Look at his smile! He knows he's being Deeply Uncool, and he is doing it literally right into Crowley's face.
Remember that we just talked about how by this point in the chronology Crowley and Aziraphale have learned to communicate with each other nonverbally through facial expression? So what does it mean when Aziraphale responds to Crowley's grumbling about Hamlet's gloominess by smiling his minxious Mona Lisa Aziraphale smile, looking right into Crowley's face, and yelling at Hamlet to buck up? Aziraphale, in a carefully coded, carefully Aziraphale way, is joking with Crowley. His silliness in this moment is for Crowley.
So with aaaaaaallllll of this essay in mind, what does it mean that Crowley's reaction to "Come on, Hamlet! Buck up!" is widening eyes, an involuntary twitch of his mouth toward a smile, and then, his eyebrows still showing surprise and amusement, a tiny shake of his head?
Once more, with inferences:
I do propose, y'all, on the basis of this web of evidence I submit for consideration, that what we are seeing here in my favorite moment of Good Omens is the ineffable equivalent of Aziraphale and Crowley sharing a laugh.
Crowley's amusement here isn't at Aziraphale, because Aziraphale is eliciting that amusement consciously and deliberately. Aziraphale, in good spirits and happy to see Crowley, uses his Aziraphaleness to offers Crowley not only an opportunity for amusement, but the opportunity to be in agreement with him about what in this situation is funny. They're on the same side of this joke.
And his humor lands just as he wants it to: Crowley, just for a moment, is caught off-guard, and tickled--
But remember, Crowley is worried in this scene about being surveilled ("I thought you said we'd be inconspicuous here"), and he worries about audio surveillance a lot ("Walls have ears"; "Don't say that. If my lot hear [etc.]," etc.), so he's very limited in what reactions he can show or voice. Aziraphale knows Crowley must be perceived by anyone watching or listening to disapprove of his, Aziraphale's, behavior (just as he must be perceived to disapprove vociferously of Crowley's). Both of them know this.
--so Crowley suppresses the smile almost successfully, and shakes his head at Aziraphale, minutely, to say Stop. What you're doing is working, you're close to making me laugh, and if I show how much you have just delighted me, it will blow our cover of "just an Arrangement."
I offer three final data points in advancing my argument that what we see in my favorite Good Omens moment is Aziraphale successfully attempting to joke with Crowley and Crowley recognizing that overture from Aziraphale and being momentarily surprised into a reaction of genuine delight before pulling his face back under control and indicating to Aziraphale that he must stop:
Datum 1. Nothing going on with Crowley's face in this moment is accidental. We know for sure we're not seeing David Tennant react to Michael Sheen here not only because of literally every other point of Tennant's and Sheen's performances in the show, but because Tennant is wearing opaque contacts and sunglasses under film lighting and therefore cannot be reacting to anything more compelling than a level-10-lift blur because Tennant cannot see shit. Crowley's reaction is a deliberate and careful performance choice on Tennant's part, and it's underscored by director Douglas Mackinnon's choice to film Tennant in 1/2 profile to keep Crowley's eyes visible and face readable to the audience. This reaction is supposed to be there and supposed to be meaningful.
Datum 2. The husbands in 1601 is not the only moment in Good Omens when we may be seeing an angel and a demon communicate the message Stop doing that, it makes us look too familiar between themselves with a little headshake:
Datum 3: There is another moment in Good Omens when Aziraphale offers Crowley the opportunity to enjoy a joke with him. There, too, his humor lands just as he intends, so we can use this other moment as a comparison to our 1601 moment. I don't have gifs for it, but go back and watch it, S1E6 49:27-42. Snips below.
Aziraphale says something that surprises and amuses Crowley (he asked Hell for a rubber duck while he was sloshing around in the holy water)--
--but what Aziraphale says makes Crowley smile long before it makes him laugh.
In fact, his laugh, though a genuine cackle, is quite delayed, and he laughs only after Aziraphale starts laughing too.
In other words, Crowley's reaction to Aziraphale offering him amusement they're both on the same side of is exactly the same as his reaction to "Come on, Hamlet! Buck up!" right up until he laughs instead of shaking his head. Here, after Armageddidn't, Crowley doesn't have to suppress his reaction, so he can let the smile bloom; he doesn't have to control his response, so, although it takes him a few extra seconds, he lets the smile turn into a laugh.
But in 1601, it's not safe to laugh at Aziraphale's humor. It's not safe even to smile at him. A single piece of evidence or eye/earwitness testimony that he and Crowley have anything more friendly than the most passing and acrimonious of professional relationships could mean death to either or both of them, and depending on what Falling is like, maybe something worse than death for Aziraphale.
But Aziraphale is so funny, so effervescent for Crowley, at Crowley, that it catches Crowley just for a moment. Crowley's eyes widen and the corner of his mouth twitches toward a smile.
And that's dangerous. If Aziraphale keeps acting so charmingly mad, Crowley is going to laugh, and they can't afford that risk, so he shakes his head at Aziraphale. Stop, or I won't be able to keep a straight face around you.
And Aziraphale apparently receives that message, because he immediately eases off. Less than 60 seconds later we learn that he's deeply concerned for Crowley's safety--and that it's not so much that Aziraphale has Crowley wrapped around his little finger as it is that Crowley has wrapped himself around Aziraphale's little finger like a snake arranging itself on the tree branch it calls home.
UPDATE 14/10/23: HOLY SHIT Y'ALL IT GETS EVEN BETTER! THERE IS A SEQUEL!
#good omens#good omens meta#good omens 1601#good omens microexpressions#good omens headshake#angelfish#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#good omens fanalysis
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okay so it has come to my attention that neither i nor @mqfx has actually made an official post as to what is going on in october so here it is:
⭐️ join us for untamed october! ⭐️
what is untamed october you might ask? well, charlie mqfx and i decided that since it's been 5 years since CQL aired, it's time for a cql renaissance! starting on october 1st 2024, we will be rewatching cql (and maybe making fanworks to contribute to the fun!!)
don't worry about a schedule; we're all busy adults, and you can take it at your own pace. the point of it is to have fun and relive some of the whimsy we all had when cql was first airing! if you want to try and get some of your mutuals or friends who have never seen cql before to watch it, october is the time!! if you have fanart or a fanfic you've been wanting to post, october is it baby!!
if you want to participate with fanart, fanfic, gifsets, etc., feel free to tag your work with #untamed october or #untamedtober ! i'll be making sure to go through those tags all month to boost everyone's work!!
here are some notable works that will drop this october:
⭐️ @trans-xianxian will be drawing an entire set of major arcana cql themed tarot cards!! check out this ask to see the gdrive folder with the progress 🩵
⭐️ i believe a couple of people may be making gifsets, but i don't know who! i know they'll be beautiful though 🩵
⭐️ and of course, i myself am going to be dropping my 36 chapter fanfic, a complete rewrite and revamp of my fanfic from 5 years ago, Odd Geometry! I will be posting the official summary of it soon, so please check it out 🩵
and of course, the fun won't be quite over yet.... tgcf fans better hold onto their hats for november when @mqfx drops the rest of Idle Dreams Far South! you can read the first chapter of it here!
#vero.txt#t#mdzs#the untamed#you guys can reblog this so it gets some traction <3#can you guys reblog this updated version pleeeeaaase#untamed october#untamedtober
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My god, Cassian is just so young in season 1 of Andor. On this last rewatch, it kept jumping out at me everywhere. Especially at the start of the show, which makes sense--he goes through a pretty intense education over the course of the season and transforms before our eyes. But there's just so much in Cassian that comes from being young, traumatized, and desperate.
We see it in his moments of unabashed fear, like when he's stopped by the two corpos in the pilot, the first time he sees the TIE fighter fly past on Aldhani, or as the prison transport takes off for Narkina 5. Even when he tries to hide it, we can see it in his eyes, the parts of him that are still that scared kid from Kenari.
We see it in the chip he has on his shoulder, like the attitude he cops with Luthen in their first meeting: "I don't know you." He's not just guarded and distrustful, he kind of actively resents this guy trying to get too familiar with him. When he's scared, uncertain, or guilty, he tends to push others away, a product of having to fight most of his life and of losing many of the things and people he's cared about. I also think of him coldly telling Bix, "You won't have to worry about me anymore," at the end of their argument in "Announcement."
And yet, by the same token, he can also be surprisingly open and earnest in his affections. For me, this is most apparent in his scenes with Maarva in "Announcement." There, we see his naive optimism that the money he got from Aldhani can solve all their problems. He's so buoyant and hopeful and loving as he suggests running away, saying, "What do we need but the three of us?" Later in the episode, we see that same naivety when he insists, "We'll find a place they haven't ruined yet." But it crops up in other places too. On Aldhani, he chooses Clem's name as his pseudonym, even though he already realizes Luthen has a lot of intel on him and will probably recognize it--in that moment, his distrust of Luthen is outweighed by his desire to go into this dangerous mission carrying a small piece of his dad with him. Then there's that beautiful hug with Brasso in "Rix Road," especially those few extra beats past when you'd expect them to part. When he hugs Melshi in the previous episode, Cassian is rushed, on the brink of falling apart and not wanting Melshi to see. But with Brasso, Cassian needs that touch for a few extra seconds, and he's not afraid to hold on a little longer.
Most of Cassian's dumbest mistakes in the season are very youthful ones. He's an incredibly smart and observant guy, so he's not dumb very often, but when he is, it tends to come back to being young, traumatized, and desperate. We see this especially in the opening Ferrix arc: insisting on bringing an unsecured comm to his meeting with Luthen (oh my god, the way he bickers with B2EMO about them beforehand!) and trying to go back for the starpath unit when the shit hits the fan, even after Luthen repeatedly tells him to leave it. With the starpath unit, part of it is naivety--"What if it's just one guy left?"--and part of it is growing up poor and scrappy. This box represents more money than he's ever had at any one time, and he simply can't process the idea that his buyer would just leave it behind.
Finally, every now and then, Cassian has this subtle but impeccable "little shit" energy. We definitely see it when he messes with Timm in the pilot, deliberately goading him instead of trying to defuse the situation when he sees that Timm is jealous. It's a dumb, petty moment of cheap satisfaction that winds up with some intense blowback when Timm IDs him to Pre-Mor. And I love Cassian's refusal to give up on Kino on Narkina 5, always believing he can be brought into the fold no matter how many times Kino tells him to forget about it. It's a great reflection of how Cassian rejects the Empire's attempts to divide the inmates by pitting them against each other, but part of why he's able to keep at it is his annoying-kid tenacity. I love the scene where Kino brushes him off by saying how many shifts he has left and Cassian immediately responds with, "So...tell me what you know before you go."
It's simply wild to compare the Cassian we see in "Kassa" to the one in "Rix Road." He goes through so much in twelve episodes and really comes into his own, and it's fantastic to see some of the qualities he displays in Rogue One starting to peek through. He's already come so far in his character growth--I cannot wait to see how season 2 gets us from "Rix Road" to Rogue One!
Oh yeah, and Diego Luna is simply stunning. You can really feel how he traced Cassian's life backwards to this point, see how different the Cassian of "Kassa" is from the Cassian of Rogue One and yet still fully believe that this is the same character. All the little hints he drops, all the tiny moments where you can see Rogue One Cassian starting to gestate. It's such beautiful, brilliant work!
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