#you think im writing that for fun??? i can literally see device status in the admin tool.

[relto]

i write "computer has been deactivated" into the documentation. someone edits it to "computer needs security updates". about an hour later he realizes that yes, the computer has been deactivated.

[shurisneakers]

if you're taking ideas for harmless drabbles, i'd love to see one of bucky on one of those dates he mentioned and reader's shenanigans. if you aren't, feel free to ignore this!

a/n: are we really going to let a word limit define what a drabble is? is the vibe and spirit not enough? i say this bc this is 5.7k words long im so sorry. also hey thank you to everyone who piped in with their knowledge of violent geese and how apartment security works in new york!! also thanks to my bby @spiderrpcrker for reading this and telling me to publish this bc i wasnt going to fkjghfkj

warning: swearing, bad luck, dates, frustrated bucky, anxiety, mentions of gore but like only a sentence

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Catch up with the rest of the series here: Harmless Masterlist

Bucky returns only two weeks later. His mission lasted longer than expected and all he wants is to lie down and sleep for forty eight hours straight.

“FRIDAY?” he mumbles, kicking off his shoes. His jacket had already been discarded by his bedroom door when he walked in.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”

“How are ya?” He doesn’t miss a beat in asking, even though he’s exhausted.

“As good as ever. Did you have a successful mission?”

“If by successful you mean one sprained limb instead of two, then yeah.” He wasn’t really cribbing. His ankle was already starting to heal anyway and it was worth the roundhouse kick to a Nazi's face. “Do I have anything scheduled for this weekend?”

“You have a meeting on your calendar scheduled for this Saturday.”

“Could you send a text to Y/N and ask if we can push it to the next day?” His muscles feel sore and God, he could definitely use a hot shower but all of that becomes secondary the minute he feels the sheets under him.

“Would you like me to reschedule the other one as well?”

“What’s that?” He opens one eye in confusion. “There’s another one?”

“It’s on Sunday. You’ve labelled it ‘date’.”

Ah, fuck.

“Would you like me to change it?” FRIDAY never sounds like she’s judging him, which is nice. It also reminds him about how she, as an AI, can’t judge him, which is a rude wake-up call to how he doesn’t have friends.

“No,” his voice is muffled against the pillow, “no, let it be. Where is it again?”

“You’ve only specified diner, Sergeant Barnes.”

Public space, daytime, plenty of escape routes. Good on his less delirious self for selecting a diner.

“Thanks, FRIDAY.” Now that he’s a little more relaxed, he can feel himself slip in and out of consciousness.

“One last thing," her automated voice commands his attention again. "Y/N replied. She says sure and to take care.”

“Yay.” Not even a second later he’s out like a light.

____

“Did you bring me any souvenirs?” Is the first thing he hears as he marches into your lair.

“What could I possibly get you?”

“A postcard, a t-shirt.” You don’t look up from your tinkering.

“Decapitated finger, used bullets,” he continues, “cement blocks.”

“Ew.” You snap the lid shut on the thing you’re working on, spinning around on your chair. "That's not nearly romantic enough."

“That’s all you’re going to get from a Russian underground bunker.” He does a mini jog up the stairs of the platform to where you are.

“Does the finger have a ring at lea- oh hello?” You raise an eyebrow at the sight of him. “You look different.”

He peers down. The outfit was still all black. As always.

“Not your clothes, dummy,” you interrupt, making him look back at you. “Your face. What’d you do?”

He unconsciously raises a hand to his cheek.

“Did you wash your face? Is that it?” you squint at him. “Has it been a few months since the last time?”

“Wow, you’re so funny,” he drawls sarcastically.  “Top tier comedian right there.”

“No wait, it’s the beard.” You snap your fingers in realisation, completely ignoring his comment. “You trimmed it.”

“So what if I did?” He leans on your table.

“You going somewhere?” you ask, elastic snapping against your hands as you remove your gloves.

“It’s none of your busi-”

“Hold on a second.” A sly smile begins to make its way onto your face. “Are you going on a date, Bucky Barnes?”

His comeback dies down in his throat. That didn’t take you very long for you to figure out.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” You look smug, to say the least.

“Shut up.” A ray of light glistening distracts him. He traces it to the thing you were working on earlier.

“Where are you guys going?” You cross your arm across your chest, a small smirk on your face.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” It’s a silver box, engraved intricately with swirls that, when he observes carefully, looks like a skull. Wow, terrifying.

“I’m literally asking you.”

“What are those?” He shifts the conversation towards a more productive angle instead.

“Evil in a box and some other stuff.” You shrug offhandedly. “Is it a lunch date or just coffee?”

“Like Pandora’s Box?”

“A discount version, sure,” you confirmed impatiently. “Stop changing the topic, listen to me.”

He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue.

“Do you need a chaperone?” The sincerity in your voice for such a bullshit question has him scoffing.

“Good God- no, I do not need a chaperone. I’m 106 years old, I can go out unsupervised.” He reaches over and plucks the box off your table.

“Sir, you’re a geriatric."

“What are those?” He points to a few ray odd ray guns.

“Minor stuff you don’t have to worry about right now.”

He shakes the box in his hand. “What’s gonna happen if I open this?”

“Very bad things,” you whispered ominously before your volume returns to normal. “How’d you meet this person? Online?”

“She’s Natasha’s friend.” He turns the box over, seeing a small latch at the side. “What bad things?”

“Bad luck and misery. Don’t play with it, it’s dangerous.” You pull the box away from him. “Aw, is it a blind date?”

“Why do you care so much?” he shoots back, tugging the box back towards him.

“Just lookin’ out for you, Bucko,” you huff, adjusting your grip on your device. “Need to keep my favourite senior citizen safe.”

“I have a vibranium arm.” Whose force he could use to grab the box once and for all, but wasn’t. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“What if she has one too, huh? Then what?”

“She doesn’t.” As far as he knows, he’s the only one alive with a metal appendage made out of the strongest metal in the world. That could very well change by tomorrow but he's keeping the title for now.

“But what if she does? I swear to- stop trying to take the box!” You pull a little more forcefully, but he doesn’t relent.

“I want this to get over before this evening.”

“What time’s your date?”

“Why do you care?” He’s sure anyone who saw the dumb tug-of-war you both were playing would just automatically assume he was an absolute manchild, not an Avenger.

“Because.” You don’t explain further. “Tell me what time your date is, you weirdo.”

“Five o’clock, now let go.”

“Fine,” you say, suddenly loosening your grip. Clearly, it doesn't make much of a difference since he isn't struggling to keep his balance from the sudden loss of force.

“Fine.” He clears his throat, straightening up. 

You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.

A putrid smell creeps into his nose, one all too similar to spoiled milk and decaying seaweed. He has to physically stop himself from gagging.

“Have a good day.” You smile and lean far back. Too far. It looks like you're almost going to fall out of the chair.

Through the tears that are threatening to line his eyelids, he looks down at the box whose latch you somehow managed to lift, leaving the box open.

“What the fuck is this?” He coughs, swatting at the air in front of him to clear it.

“I told you; bad luck in a box.”

“You can’t scientifically create bad luck, that’s bullshit.” He tosses the box back onto your table. You watch it slide past you, not making any effort to stop it. “What is it really?”

“I’m not lying.” You pull open a drawer, brandishing a small table fan that you set down beside you. “If you open it, you’re going to have terrible luck for the day.”

He glowers at you when you turn the fan on, forcing the fumes back towards him.

“Besides, that’s all I was doing today.” You kick your feet up. “So you can leave now.”

He doesn’t care if you’re lying about not having anything else to do today. You could burn down the world if you wanted to but he needs to take a stupid shower. Again.

“You’re the fuckin’ worst.” He tries airing out his shirt, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible.

“Have fun on your date, sarge!” you encourage him as he stalks out of the lair. “Remember to wrap it befo-”

He turns it into a sprint before you can finish.

____

Six hours later and he’s absolutely convinced he fucked up.

He isn’t used to having his weekends free.

He realises that this is the first time in months that he’s actually stepped out of the Tower for something that wasn’t directly mission-related. He should probably get some air. Touch some grass. See the sun.

His shirt thankfully manages to rid itself of the odour from the dumb box so he didn’t have to go take a shower. With nothing much planned and a few hours to spare, he heads to the coffee shop instead.

It’s a small place, bustling and alive with a crowd of people. They have a little bookshelf that usually is full of books donated by patrons, free for anyone to read.

The barista smiles at him. The coffee costs more than his high school education. He awkwardly smiles back.

He’s not a regular, but they’ve seen him enough times to know that he usually asks for black coffee in a to-go cup, later adding a sugar or two according to his own taste. They're nice to him, occasionally throwing in a cookie or something on the house. He can't tell if it's because of the Avenger status or the sizeable tip he leaves.

He picks up a random book from the shelf, fully intending not to read it but to just sit there and think. The book acted as a shield for his resting bitch face, resting murder face and his resting rage face. More often than not, a good combination of the three.

He sets the coffee down at the corner table he manages to nab in a quick second, along with the two sachets of sugar.

“Is this seat taken?” Someone asks from beside him. He earnestly shakes his head in a ‘no’, gesturing for them to take it.

They give him a quick thanks and drag the chair away from his table.

He does a quick overlook of the book he picked up.

The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot.

Well, now he’s too anxious to put it back. YA fiction it is.

He reaches for the sugar while glossing over the summary. He reaches a little further when it doesn’t come to his hand immediately, blindly running his fingers across the table.

Bucky peeks over the book, eyebrows knitting together when he notices that they’re missing.

He was sure he picked it up.

He looks underneath the table. It wasn’t there, neither under his seat. Strange, but okay. He picks up the book and the cup, walking back to the station to grab two sugars.

This time he makes sure to tuck it into his pocket, double-checking before going back to his table.

Which was now occupied. He wanted to groan.

His mind automatically reverts back to the box from that morning.

“Come on,” he scoffs quietly to himself. It was a coincidence. “Get yourself together.”

“A seat at the counter just cleared up,” the barista from earlier offers when she sees him standing in the middle of the store.

See? Good luck.

He shoots her a grateful look, venturing over to the barstool to take his place. It’s not the most comfortable, but then again, he wasn’t planning to stay there for very long.

He empties the sugar into the coffee, stirring slowly before opening a random page in the book.

He takes a long sip, ignoring how hot the drink was.

He chokes immediately. Because either he was losing his mind or his order had somehow got switched from ‘no sugar’ to ‘diabetes in a cup’.

He takes another small sip and his face immediately twists in disgust. Definitely too sweet. The sweetener he added only made it worse.

He catches the eye of the barista. She looks on in concern.

“Is everything okay?”

Fuck.

He’s not one to make a scene. He just wants to live as imperceptibly as he could.

“Yep.” The sweetness sticks to the back of his throat. “All good.”

He just closes his eyes and downs the rest of it without thinking twice, trying to hide the grimace in his face. He gives her a weak thumbs up. She doesn't look convinced.

He leaves the shop soon after, hands shoved in his pocket. Maybe he could go sit by the lake at Central Park, watch the clouds. It reminded Bucky of the lake in front of his hut in Wakanda and the hours he'd sit in front of it, feet dipped into the water as his goats fed. He misses it.

He makes a sharp turn at a corner, still thinking about his options when his ankle abruptly twists under him.

He stumbles rather ungracefully, almost hitting the ground, but manages to save himself through the newly built up immunity he has towards falling thanks to all his encounters with you.

His gaze lands on his hardcore combat boots. Their laces had come undone.

Now he just knew that was horseshit. He always double knots them; they had never loosened in the past before.

The box.

He shoves the thought out of his head, crouching down to tie them again. He tugs on them to make sure they’re secure before standing up again.

Central Park is a few blocks away but he’s glad he didn’t bring his bike. The weather was rather nice and the wind in his hair felt good.

He wanders around the park for a while, looking for the lake. He pauses at a board with a map of the park on it, assessing how far it was.

Once he's ascertained which path to go towards, he turns on his heel to go.

He fucking trips again.

“Are you serious?” he says furiously under his breath. “Cut it out.”

He’s half-convinced that he should tie it around his ankle like a sexy lace-up set of heels. He ties a triple knot this time, glares at it until he’s sure it’s fine and checks to see if anyone saw him humiliate himself.

Only a person on a nearby bench who looked like they were passed out drunk, given that their hoodie and sunglasses clad self was slumped over.

No witnesses. No 'You won't BELIEVE what the Winter Soldier did! Critics say it's his biggest blunder yet!' articles the next day on social media.

He manages to make it to the lake in one piece and no more falls, partly because he keeps his eyes fixed on his shoes to ensure no fuckery occurs.

There are a few people rowing and plenty of others lining the bank at scattered locations. There’s a mom and her kid at the place he ends up. She sends him a small smile in greeting and he returns the favour.

There’s a secluded bench that he takes a place on, letting out a small sigh. If he ignores the traffic and the skateboarders and the people in general, it’s actually kind of peaceful.

There are geese and their little goslings swimming around the water close to the shore. Maybe he should have brought some birdseed. Or kale.

The kid beside him is busy fashioning something out of leaves, only occasionally erupting into giggles when it doesn't pan out. His mom watches him fondly, pointing at twigs he could use. Everything seems kind of picture-perfect and his body automatically relaxes, easing further into the seat and closing his eyes for a second.

Until there's a large splash and loud distressed honking. He whips his head around to find the same kid staring straight ahead at the goose with a wide grin. His mother curses quietly, picking herself up off the ground and grabbing his hand, half chastising him for throwing something at an animal and half urging him to walk faster.

The goose turns to Bucky. With no one else to blame for the sudden attack, it logically launches itself at him. His smile drops.

He gets up in a rush. The dumb bird nearly comes for his head, but he deflects with his metal arm.

“I didn’t even do anything.” He swats at it swiftly, trying not to cause any real damage. The goose, understandably, does not speak English.

He flinches when one of them bites at his knee. He can punt it to the sun but he doesn’t want to.

“Stop that.” He sticks his hand out to shove the stupid thing away, retreating back to the road. “Jesus, why are you so aggressive?”

Among the barrage of feathers showering on him, he prays his damn shoelace doesn’t unravel as he shields his head with one arm, the other fending himself while he moves hurriedly away.

The goose honks angrily at him. He scowls at it, not exactly pleased with the reminder that these fucking overgrown ducks were constantly bloodthirsty.

It doesn’t leave him alone till he’s significantly away from where he was sitting. He wants to call it profanity but that’d probably piss it off more.

The box and its effects were definitely starting to feel real.

Fuck it, no more day out for him. The best plan he can think of is to just go to the diner he’s supposed to meet his date at.

The waiter greets him with a courteous nod, which Bucky can only imagine was the best he could muster when a dishevelled 200-pound man walks in covered in goose feathers and irritation.

He won't admit that he’s too scared to eat lunch at this point because he can’t rule out food poisoning. He spends the next two hours on his phone playing Fruit Ninja and plucking feathers that accented his all-black outfit.

Several glasses of water later and a second before he’s about to beat his high score, someone taps on his shoulder, breaking him out of his concentration.

Motherfu-

He clenches his eye shut, inhaling deeply before turning around.

“James?”

“Hey, yeah, that’s me.” Bucky almost falls over the table with how fast he stands up, clearly underestimating his size. “Leah?”

“Hi.” She smiles and he finds himself smiling nervously along with her.

“Hi.” He steps out to pull out her chair for her and she laughs. "Nice to meet you."

“How long have you been waiting here?” she asks while setting down her bag.

“Around ten minutes.” He clears his throat to hopefully hide the fact that he was lying through his teeth.

“Just give me a second, I need to tell my friend I reached,” Leah pulls out her phone and he nods.

“Another glass of water for you?” The waiter seems less enthusiastic about Bucky’s 8th refill.

“Yes,” he answers, hoping he doesn’t call him out on it, “please.”

“You must be really dehydrated."

Bucky turns to look at him slowly. “I like the taste.”

He can’t really blame the guy. Bucky’s been there for hours without ordering anything solid, just leaching off their free water and complimentary bread basket.

“So, James.” She tosses her phone back into her bag, leaning forward on her palms easily. “Tell me about yourself.”

He had rehearsed this a million times. He could do this.

“I, uh,-”

“Menu?” Okay, so someone clearly had a vendetta against him.

“Thank you.” She takes it with a smile.

His morning debacle with the coffee flashes through his mind. Suddenly the idea of a diner didn’t seem so smart.

However, she’s already placed her order and George is standing beside him expectantly, daring him to ask for another glass of water, so he places his usual order and hopes that your stupid bad luck thing wore off.

He quickly learns that his date is laid back, and it isn’t hard to fall into a rhythm with her even though she’s the one asking most of the questions.

“How’d you meet Nat?” Is his attempt at one.

“She used to come in for lunch every week at the place I work.” Leah leans back in her chair. “She can really handle her alcohol.”

He’d be worried about Nat day drinking if he didn’t know about her complete inability to get drunk. She might as well have been downing glasses of lemonade.

“Yeah, she’s-” Intimidating, scary, cool “-really something.”

“She mentioned that you like movies.”  He definitely spends a lot of time watching them. “You got any recommendations?”

It’s easier to figure out how different things are or how much he missed out over the years through them. He’s glad he sat out the early 2000s, judging by their fashion sense and hairstyles.

He's watched several movies over the past few months, a few of them critically acclaimed and others who were just there for the cult following.

But now everything goes blank and the only thing that he can remember are the biopics made about Steve that were somehow hilarious for gifting him the mental image of Freddie Prinze Jr. dressed in the stars and stripes, and highly distressing for the number of historical inaccuracies. Contrary to popular belief, Stevie did not, in fact, consider running for president after he took up the shield, nor did he start his own bar chain.

He can’t name Oh Captain, My Captain starring Channing Tatum as his favourite movie on his first date and hope to make a good first impression.

“Despicable Me was kinda fun.” He wants to kill himself. “I mean, it’s the last one I saw.”

Her face twists in mild disgust, but he can tell it isn't ill-intentioned. “It's a good movie, but God, that just gave me some intense flashbacks to my aunt’s Facebook page. Don’t think I can look at a minion ever again.”

He sniggers with her. He doesn’t know what the context is.

He’s a little awkward, and he can definitely tell he isn’t the most open book but she laughs at some of his attempts at jokes. There’s a distinct discomfort he has lingering at the back of his mind prodding at him, telling him over and over again that he isn’t ready for something like this. A warning bell, asking him to leave as soon as possible because he was in a dangerous situation.

He remembers what his therapist told him about breathing and remembering that the resources he had available were greater than his anxiety and he tries to get out of his head. It takes a few minutes of acting like he's fine but he manages to do it.

Other than the one time he scalds his tongue on the coffee but played it off with a pained smile, shoving down thoughts of your stupid invention, things actually went okay.

It was nice, even though they decided by the end that it was better if they both gelled together better as friends. It lifts the strange fear he feels and he can hear Dr. Mendoza say she's proud of him for taking this step before spending three hours psychoanalysing why they decided to stay platonic.

Bucky promises to visit her sushi shop with Nat soon and she says a bottle of sake awaits him for a drinking game. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her that Nat and he share the same tolerance for alcohol.

He makes sure to leave George a tip. A big one. It’s the first time he sees the guy smile the entire evening.

He’s waving goodbye to Leah outside and he thinks that maybe it was a good end to the day and that things actually turned out fine.

Until he turns around to leave, only to have someone walk straight into him with an iced tea.

The cold comes as a bit of a shock, making him jump slightly. He stares at his shirt, using his fingertips to pull it away from his body.

The person melts into a series of apologies immediately, offering to dry clean his shirt but Bucky just forces a shake of his head and says it’s okay even though he can feel the sugar making the shirt stick to his chest. Goose feathers and iced tea. Was there anything else that would like to attach itself to him?

His fists clench and his teeth grit and he has to physically control himself from sprinting to your lair because God knows what else is in store for him and he didn't want to add in any way.

The door to the lair is locked. Fuckin’ brilliant.

When no one answers after minutes worth of waiting, he fishes for his phone and realises that maybe two hours of Fruit Ninja was not the best idea, especially on a phone known for having shitty battery life.

There’s roughly 2 percent left. By the time he opens his app to give you a call, his phone screen goes black.

He groans. He’s desperate at this point and under any other normal circumstances, he would have never, ever considered doing this.

But ten minutes later he’s outside your apartment building. You’re aware that he has your address; no doubt that it was in the SHIELD file he had gotten, and he knows that you know but it was still weird.

The buzzer has your last name listed next to it. He’s sure that he’ll break it if he keeps pressing it at this rate but he really needs you to let him in.

“Who the fu-” your voice comes through the intercom.

“I’m sorry for showing up like this, my phone died and I couldn’t reach you,” He breathes out as soon as he hears you. “But I need you to fix this.”

When he doesn’t hear a reply, he wonders if the thing actually worked. He’s about to start pressing it again-

“Bucky?” You sound a little surprised to hear him. “You’re at my house. Why are you at my house?”

“I need you to fix whatever this is.”

“What are you- fine, I’m buzzing you in,” your voice, initially confused soon trails off into something more dismissive.

There’s a soft click from the door, allowing him to push it open. The elevator is already on the same floor as him so he just uses that.

The elevator goes up a floor or two. His feet tap restlessly against the carpeted floor.

The lights turn off and everything comes to a standstill. His foot stops tapping.

He should have known. He should have fucking known.

Thirty seconds pass. He’s still in pitch darkness with the elevator showing no signs of moving.

In fact, he’s resigned to his fate. He sits down on the ground, only one step away from completely laying down and hoping someone finds his body here someday.

It’s six minutes of plain silence. He might as well get comfortable if he’s going to get stuck here for the rest of his life. Did he change his will? Does he even have a will?

There’s finally a whir. He thinks that maybe he’s going to plummet to his doom as the perfect end to this day, but then the light switches on and it starts moving upward.

It stops at the floor with a ding. He doesn’t get off the ground, only eyes the door wearily. With his luck, it wouldn’t open.

But it does and within a second he’s on his feet, scrambling to get out before it changes its mind.

He remembers your door number, basically charging down the hall to get to it.

The door is white and the paint is starting to chip off it. The handle itself is dented in a few places and he wonders if it was your fault or someone else's.

His knocks are rapid, agitated even. He doesn’t stop until he hears your loud shouts telling him to cut it out.

“What the hell were you doing, trying to break down my door?” It swings open, revealing you in your pajamas. “Haven’t you done that already? And where were you, I’ve been waiting for like, ten minutes.”

He honestly feels bad for showing up uninvited and highly flustered. He can’t imagine it’s a pretty sight either. "This bad luck shit- fix it. My whole day’s been fucked up.”

“What are you-” Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, taking in his appearance.

It takes you a second to realise what he’s talking about but when you do, your face settles.

“How was your date?” You lean against the door frame, arms crossed over your chest.

“Really,” He glowered at you, “that’s what you care about?”

“Yes.” You nod. “Did you have fun?”

He hesitates. “I guess?”

“Was she nice?”

“Yeah.” Where was this going.

“Good, I’m happy for you.” The smile on your face is genuine. “Look at you go, Casanova.”

“We agreed to be just friends, but that’s not the point here. Y/N,” he whines. “I have a mission next week, I can’t afford to fuck up. My whole day was off and I don’t want it to carry over.”

“Your whole day?” you questioned, standing up instead of leaning against the wall. “Buck-”

“Just fix it.”

“Okay.” You lift your hand up, extending it towards his face.

He waits for you to do something.

You flick him on the forehead.

“There,” you declare, going back to your previous position. “you’re cured.”

What.

He says exactly what he’s thinking.

You laugh. “Dude. I was fucking with you.”

Huh?

“Well, actually maybe just like, three things and then I got bored.”

He’s confused.

“You know,” you begin when he doesn’t reply, “taking the sugar packets, switching your coffee order when you were looking under the table, took your place when you left, the shoelaces.”

“The shoelaces?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “That’s the other ray gun you saw this morning. Unties your shoelaces. I stopped after that because I thought you figured it out.”

His face scrunches in puzzlement.

“I mean, you looked right at me and told me to cut it out.”

He racks his brain about what you could possibly be talking about before it hits him. The hungover person on the goddamn bench in the park.

“You were the one in the hoodie and sunglasses.”

“I just followed the Avengers’ code of disguise.” You shrug. “Turns out it kinda works. Also teleportation. So helpful.”

He forgot about the teleportation. That's why you could do all of it so fast without him noticing you were even there.

“What about the fucking geese?”

You pause for a second. “The geese?”

“And the elevator.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” The confusion on your face is apparent. “What geese and elevator? I have no idea what you’re saying right now.”

“Everything’s been a mess today,” he grumbles. “I don’t know what’s real or not.”

“I swear I had nothing to do with it other than what I mentioned.” There’s indignation on your features that quickly gives way to delight. “Holy shit, did I just accidentally invent portable bad luck?”

“Okay-” his palm finds its way to his forehead in exasperation, “-then what the hell was the smell?”

“What smell- oh, the one from the box?”

He nods briskly.

“Secretions Magnifique.” You snorted. “It’s a perfume. The worst rated one I could find.”

“Perfume?”

“With notes of milk, seaweed and sandalwood.”

“It wasn’t an inator?”

“No, it wasn- did you get vibe checked by a goose at the park?” You stifle a laugh when you notice a stray feather on his thigh.

“What does that even mean?” he asks in despair.

“I can see why it attacked you. You got bad juju.” You raise an eyebrow. “Maybe if you stop staring so much-”

“So I just have shit luck.” Is that a fucking relief or even worse?

“Well,” you begin but decide not to continue.

Even with all the irritability masking it, you could see that he genuinely was just not having a good time.

“Wait here a second.”

You leave him at the door. He shifts his balance and sighs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He still had to walk back to the Tower. Maybe he could grab a slice of pizza along the way since he skipped lunch.

“Okay, here.” You return with a large glass of water. He only looks at it. “It’s just water, I promise. You look like you ran a marathon."

He takes it from you sceptically, pushing away the urge to sniff at it. It’s gone within a few gulps.

You wait until he’s finished to point at his arm. He draws his eyebrows together, but you only curl your index finger and beckon for him to give you his hand.

He reluctantly extends it towards you.

“Don’t laugh,” you warn him, taking his metal arm. “This usually helps me.”

You tie a small bracelet around his wrist. It has a few beads, which he realises represent the colours of the solar system.

“Keep that for good luck.” You pat it gently after securing it. “I think you just had a bad day; those don’t last very long. Do you want to charge your phone before you leave?”

“Uh-” The bracelet’s pretty, the colours shine against the dark vibranium. “-no, I’m good. I’ll just leave.”

“Okay. Anything else I can help you with or will you be fine?”

He narrows his eyes. “You’re being suspiciously nice.”

“I’m not evil all the time.” You huff. “My hours are in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he says again. “I’m gonna go then.”

“See you next week.” You give him a little wave. “I’d say break a leg on your mission but knowing your situation...”

He scoffs. “Thanks.”

You make a move to close the door when starts walking down the hallway towards the exit.

He adjusts the beads slightly so he can see them better. The Earth one has glitter in it. He thinks it’s cute.

“Bucky.”

He turns around.

There’s a hint of a smile on your face.

“Take the stairs.”

He doesn’t have to be told twice.

Next part

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 19]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, powerbottom!seungcheol, brat!seungcheol, dom!reader, restraints(handcuffs), sex toys, dirty talk, degradation, dumbificiation, spitplay, yall the way i be using DDD like i’m guy fieri in this bitch ☠️ dkjfhdskh Also, merry christmas if you celebrate it!! Happy holidays!! Be safe, enjoy your day~💕 I’d say this is my gift to yall but I update every friday, I just so happen to be uploading on christmas LOL Although, Cherry Bomb has been a gift to write 🥺!! One more chapter after this, I can’t believe it... But also first chapter of DD next week 😳 Hehe~ as always, inbox roundup this weekend! Enjoy ch 19 and have a great weekend everyone!! ❤️🍒💕

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - x

“Hyung… Are you… Okay?”

Seungcheol drops the set of skates in his hold; eye twitching when he turns to face both Seokmin and Jeongguk who stare back at him with a concerned gaze. “You haven’t moved from this spot in the last 15 minutes, Jeongguk was starting to get worried… And honestly, me too. You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Or three.”

“I, uh, yeah, I’m good.” Seungcheol laughs it off, shaking his head and letting out a deep breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. “It’s just… Well, I don’t wanna spoil anything but I’m just nervous for tonight.” He bites his bottom lip, remembering when you’d posted the notice to your homepage that basically sealed in the plans you had for him and really, what he had in store for you too.

The two younger males share a look, eyebrows raised. “Whatever’s got you this nervous must be good ‘cause you literally just zoned out and turned into a mannequin for 15 minutes. It was weird!” Jeongguk laughs; half in nervousness for Seungcheol and half in amusement. “Me and Seokmin snapped a few pics too. For posterity.”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes before he picks up the pair of skates again, “Okay, okay, enough with the teasing. Get back to work before Namjoon-hyung sees us all over here!”

“We could say the same to you!”

“Interesting setup…” Seungcheol mutters, eyes glossing over the vibrator, pink fuzzy handcuffs, and cockring that are neatly lined up on the bed. “Should I be concerned that this looks a little too normal?”

You laugh under your breath as you readjust your bra strap one last time before easing onto the bed yourself; patting the spot next to you. “Nah, trust me, it’s not gonna be that crazy. Now c’mere, we only have 10 minutes ‘til we need to start and you’re just standing there fidgeting like we’re about to fuck for the first time ever.”

“Damn, we should’ve done a show with a corruption kink or something.”

“Hey, it’s never too late!”

artist8hao: this looks relatively normal considering the notice

kitty_junjun has donated $75

gc__koo: yea… and considering how i found hyung earlier

alphagyu97: ???

alphagyu97: wdym

gc__koo: mans was a statue 

xcaliburDK: yea it was weird, it was like he was possessed 

sleepy_wonu: wait u work with him too??

therealchan99: wait is that why u almost quit?

xcaliburDK: can we not talk about me right now thank u

universe_WZ has donated $75

angelhan has donated $100

artist8hao has donated $50

“Well! Aren’t you all a lively bunch tonight!” You giggle softly, wrapping an arm around one of Seungcheol’s as he tenses up under your touch. “Seungcheol’s so tense tonight! Can we get some words of encouragement for him before we start~”

gc__koo: ayyyy my man its gonna be ok

hoshi_tiger_xx: think of it this way, any of us would pay to be in your position rn

tangerine_kwan: l i t e r a l l y

chwenon: its not like ur getting pegged 

chwenon: right

Seungcheol’s cheeks bloom a bright pink, wide eyes meeting yours as you laugh loudly. “Wait, is that what the vibrator is for ‘cause I--”

“No, no, no! Seungcheol’s not getting pegged tonight, okay?” Grinning, you ease off the bed and make your way towards the nightstand as Seungcheol watches you from behind.

You grab the item, smiling as you hide it from Seungcheol’s view for a little while longer.

“See, when we, really just I, decided to do this back to back camshow for the last time, I really wanted to try something new, y’know? But nothing too far out there ‘cause I didn’t wanna push our boundaries too much.” You move your hand, flashing the object in front of Seungcheol’s face as he raises an eyebrow.

“A gopro?”

Nodding, you show it to the camera, “Mmhmm~ The quality is gonna go down a bit but I think it’ll be okay! It’ll be worth it~” You set it down next to the array of toys, winking at the camera before settling in next to Seungcheol again.

You lean into his side, grabbing his arm and putting it on your inner thigh as you moan. “Thought that they’d like a new view of us, y’know? Instead of just the static view that we usually have. Now you can film me riding your cock and get a good view of it for the camera~” Seungcheol smirks as he drags his hand up your thigh; fingertips grazing against your panties as you mewl.

“So that’s the game you wanna play tonight, huh, baby? You wanna film each other up close and personal for everyone to see?”

He can feel his cock twitch in his sweats, already eager to see where this went.

“Well…” You bite the inside of your cheek, face hot as you pry his hand off of you. “Actually, I want you up by the headboard while I set up this gopro. Think you can shimmy up there, ‘Cheol?”

The male nods slowly, shuffling towards the headboard as you turn to the camera. “The stream’s probably gonna cut out for a sec while I set this up but please be patient with me, okay?” Winking, you quickly set up the gopro before cutting out the stream to fiddle with the settings and changing it so that the stream was coming from the gopro instead.

“Ah, good! It works!” You make sure everyone can see you from the smaller device before you’re rejoining Seungcheol on the bed; eyes twinkling with mischief as you hand the gopro to him before reaching for the toys you’d laid out.

chwenon: im rly curious about this

universe_WZ: i know, same

alphagyu97: fuck the angles we’re about to get with this for future shows tho

hoshi_tiger_xx: oh hell yeah

Seungcheol holds onto the gopro, making sure to film you as you hold the vibrator in your hand. “Let’s start with this first, huh?” You don’t waste a second before you’re turning the toy on and pressing it against his clothed cock.

“Oh, s-shit!” He almost loses his grip on the small camera when his body threatens to double over at the vibrations that quickly have shivers running up his spine. “Oh fuck, that’s---that’s so s-strong!” Seungcheol’s hips cant up, grinding against the vibrations when he realizes how good it actually feels.

“Strong? It’s only the lowest setting, baby. Is your cock that sensitive?” You smile; voice laced with a teasing lilt and the pieces start to fall for Seungcheol when you seem to spit his own words back at him.

“That’s h-how it’s gonna be, huh?” He grits out, jaw clenched when you raise the setting to the second highest. “F-fuck, you---”

“What? We’re playing like I wanna tonight, right, ‘Cheollie?” Licking your lips, you lean in close to the camera before your lust filled eyes meet his.

“And tonight, you’re just my dumb little fucktoy that I get to play with, aren’t you?”

Seungcheol tugs against the fuzzy pink handcuffs that keep him bound to the headboard; gritting his teeth when you turn off the toy for the third time.

“Ah, ah, ah, don’t move around too much, Seungcheol. Dumb little fucktoys should be good and stay still, right?”

“Right.” Muttering, he watches as you bring the camera closer to his cock again, filming the vibrator that you tap against the cock head; both covered in precum.

“Your cock is already so hard~ God you’re so fuckin’ easy~” You squirm a little from where you straddle his thighs; already wanting to sit on his cock but also knowing you still wanted to play with him a little longer while you had him underneath you.

angelhan: goddamn she’s so fucking hot when shes the dom???

therealchan99: the way i would pay her to choke me and spit in my mouth

alphagyu97: she could put me on a leash and i’d bark without question

You turn on the toy again, pressing it against his cock as he groans and thrusts his hips up. “Ah! We should use the last toy, before you end up cumming without my permission.” Seungcheol lets out a choked sob at the way you sound so cheery, eyes looking up towards the ceiling while you set the vibrator down in favor of the cockring.

Wrapping a hand around his cock, you work you hand up and down as you smear the precum down his shaft. “Hmm~ Bet you’d cum right now if I just sucked you off, huh?”

“Dunno, why don’t you sink your pretty ‘lil mouth down on me and find out?” He snarkily replies.

You shoot him an angelic smile; one that makes him realize he really shouldn’t have said anything when you hurriedly ease the cockring down until it sits at the base of his cock. Grabbing the vibrator again, you turn it onto its highest setting before bringing it back to his cock and holding it parallel to his shaft. “You’re so mouthy~ You should really be careful with that~”

Seungcheol lets out a sharp, shaky breath; eyes wider than saucers when he feels his abdomen tightening and the pleasure rapidly building up in his body. “W-wait, but---but, ah, h-hold on, it--it feels like I’m g-gonna cum!” He tugs against his restraints as his entire body squirms and thrashes against the bed at the sensations that flood his body.

“Ah, you really are so fuckin’ easy for me, Seungcheol~”

A weird feeling washes over Seungcheol when he feels his cock twitching; mouth open in stuttered breaths as his eyebrows furrow. It felt like an orgasm, but at this point, he can’t even tell. “Wh--what?” He lets out a drawn out groan, throwing his head back against the pillows just as you shut the toy off and toss it to the side.

“I think you just experienced your first dry orgasm, huh? Not so fun being on the other side, is it? Being played with~” You laugh teasingly, readjusting yourself until you’re grinding down onto his cock. instead. “Mmh, I’m gonna use your cock and I’m gonna make myself cum and you can’t do anything about it~ Just my own personal fucktoy watching me get off~”

You take the gopro and set it down right on Seungcheol’s chest, “Don’t move, or else.” He nods once shakily, watching as you lift yourself up and position his cock right at your soaking entrance. 

The two of you share a moan once you finally start to sink down onto his cock but Seungcheol knows he won’t actually be able to cum anytime soon.

chwenon: they rly said VIEWS on this one

gc__koo: honestly, i aint even tryna get off i just like watching knowing hyung is lowkey suffering

gc__koo has donated $100

gc__koo: its like a reward

kitty_junjun: he’ll be lucky if he even gets to cum again lbr

sleepy_wonu: oh how the tables have turned huh?

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

tangerine_kwan: wait but…

tangerine_kwan: if today was her idea and tomorrow is his…

chwenon: uh oh

artist8hao: oh i didnt even think about that

artist8hao has donated $100

artist8hao: for the aftercare funds  

kitty_junjun: dont be too hard on her!!

kitty_junjun: also breakfast on me when ur not too tired

You start bouncing in his lap, loud moans on your lips when his cock curves perfectly into your g-spot.

“Oh, fuh--fuck, your cock is so g-good! Fuckin’ hits me so, hah, d-deep!”

Seungcheol can’t do anything but grit his teeth and let you alternate between bouncing on his lap and swiveling your hips atop his own; jaw clenched tight. “Y-yeah? Your so-called sex toy fucks you g-good? I don’t even have to, ah, do anything, all I have to do is lay here and you’d cum, huh?” He smirks up at you, convincing himself he’s one-upped you when you pout and halt your movements.

He lets out a soft groan when you clench around him and you’re quick to grab the gopro still sitting on his chest before turning the camera towards him.

“Such a bold mouth you’ve got. But don’t forget, you’re the one handcuffed to the bed and you’ve got a cockring on, baby~ I can give you more dry orgasms if you’d like?” You lick your lips, “Be a good little fucktoy and open your mouth for me.”

Seungcheol narrows his eyes before obeying, lips parting hesitantly. “Now, stick your tongue out.” You turn the camera and hold it from the side; filming yourself as you let a glob of spit fall from your lips, directly onto Seungcheol’s waiting tongue.

A shiver runs up his spine when he draws his tongue back in to swallow the saliva, hazy eyes staring back up at you when he parts his lips to show you that he’s swallowed it all down.

“See? You can be so obedient. You just choose to be a brat.”

“Where’s the fun if I make it easy for you? And it’s cute watching you trying to dom me when we both know how much you like being under me.”

You resume your movements, swiveling your hips as you set the gopro back down onto his chest. “Ah, all the things I could do to you right now, ‘Cheol~ We should do this again so I can try some wax play on you… Or, hah, m-maybe even ice play? Since your body is so fuckin’ sensitive. Bet you’d be so fuckin’ cute cumming over and over and whining when the overstimulation starts to bite~”

It only takes a second for Seungcheol to mentally say ‘screw it’ before he uses all his strength to plant his feet down onto the bed and start thrusting up into you. Your body jerks on top of him, surprised noises spilling from your lips at the strength he exerts in his frustration.

“My body’s sensitive? You take one look at me and your panties are fuckin’ soaked.” Seungcheol scoffs, watching as you grab the gopro and set it to the side before it topples off of him. “I might be your dumb little fucktoy today but you’re mine too. My dumb ‘lil cocksleeve that only knows how to beg me for cock. Your pussy was made for me, baby. Don’t forget that.”

The pleasure builds inside your body as you meet his thrusts and for a second, you contemplate taking off the handcuffs and the cockring, but instead deciding to keep them on. Unless he begged.

“Fuck, S--Seungcheol, ‘m g-gonna cum~” You reach down, fingertips on your clit as you hurry to throw yourself over the edge of an orgasm. “That’s right, cum on my cock like the desperate ‘lil cock hungry girl you are.” He growls in frustration; wanting to cum but knowing he wouldn’t be able to unless you took the cockring off.

“Oh god, Seungcheol!”

Your walls flutter around his cock and he lets out a garbled moan at how good you feel when you cum; exhaling harshly at the frustration of not being able to cum with you. “That’s right, bet it feels good with my cock inside your tight ‘lil cunt, huh?”

He halts his movements just as you opt to grind down on him, fingertips still rubbing and pinching at your clit as you ride out your high. “Mmh, bet you wanna cum too, don’t you, ‘Cheol? Wanna, ngh, fill my p-pussy up with your cum like you always do~ But do you even deserve it? Or should I leave you here and let you cool down?”

alphagyu97: the energy we’ve created in the studio tonight

xcaliburDK: i know, holy shit

angelhan: i feel like i'm actually scared for this man im ngl

alphagyu97: if she lets u cum ur a lucky man

You let out a sultry moan; body filled with warmth as the last bits of your orgasm wash over you. “You’ve been so mouthy and bratty but I wanna feel you cum too, so I’ll be nice tonight~”

Smart move, he thinks.

Raising yourself off of his cock, you let out a whimper at the emptiness you feel; pussy clenching around emptiness as you settle back down onto his thighs that are slick with your wetness. “Mmh… On second thought… Why don’t you beg a little? Lemme hear how much you wanna cum~”

He feels his cock twitch and realizes you won’t make this any easier. “Fuck, okay, p-please.... Please take the cockring off so I can cum… I--I wanna cum inside your pretty ‘lil cunt, fuck, I don’t even care if you just jerk me off just---just please take it off! I’ll t-take it easy on you tomorrow, I s-swear!” Seungcheol almost accidentally spoils his ideas for his planned camshow and he quickly bites his bottom lip before he accidentally says too much.

“That was weak but it’s okay. Dumb fucktoys don’t need to think much, do they? Only good for being used like a toy~”  You pout mockingly at him before you’re easing the cockring off of him and Seungcheol lets out a guttural moan when you immediately wrap a hand around his cock and start jerking him off.

“You weren’t very nice with your words tonight so you’ll cum with just my hand.”

“Fu--fuck, that’s fine, just let m-me cum, please!”  You work your hand up and down his shaft, giggling when you already feel his cock throbbing in your hand when you run your hand from the base to the tip.

“Cum for me, Seungcheol~”

He lets out a small whine, eyes clamped shut when he finally cums and for the first time in his life, he feels himself momentarily black out with how hard his orgasm hits him. Ropes of cum hit his chest as you work him through it, alternating the tightness of your grip on his cock as he whines and moans in return.

“Ah, you’re cumming so much this time~ You’re making such a mess!” You tease.

Seungcheol can barely hear a word you say through the ringing in his ears once his orgasm starts to ebb away and he feels himself slump against the bed as he catches his breath.

His chest rises and falls in deep breaths and he feels you leaning over him to undo the handcuffs; tired sighs on his lips as he tries to focus on you through bleary eyes. He can feel his entire body twitching and he swears his arms have. gone numb from being handcuffed to the headboard. “You’re gonna get it tomorrow, I swear…” He mutters, no real threat to his tired words. 

“Hey, you said you were gonna take it easy on me tomorrow!”

“Yeah, well...” 

tangerine_kwan: yo im excited to see the sequel to this

gc__koo: i have some… ideas

gc__koo: things r falling into place

gc__koo: my brain is expanding

hoshi_tiger_xx: i feel like its gonna be intense lol

xcaliburDK: knowing hyung…

xcaliburDK has donated $100

xcaliburDK: if u call into work on monday i wont even question it

“Here, you need to drink this, ‘Cheol!”

The said male groans as he tugs a pillow into his arms, already on the brink of sleeping when you finally end your camshow. “But ‘m tired…” He whines. “Can’t we just go to bed and clean up in the morning? The cum on my chest is already dried, it won’t get on the sheets.” You roll your eyes in return, sitting next to him on the bed.  

“Oh, so now you’re being a big baby? I’m just trying to get you to drink some water and we need to get you at least a little cleaned up for bed. You can’t go to bed like this, y’know. And anyway, we need to be in top condition for tomorrow show too. We gotta get cleaned up and eat a little something.” You laugh under your breath, shaking your head as he only whines harder. 

“C’mon, I always do it for you, right?”

He nods only once before he’s sitting up tiredly; a shaky hand reaching for the glass of water you hold out to him. You immediately take notice of the slight redness around his wrists, pouting as you help him finish the glass before setting it down onto the nightstand.

“Your wrists got so red from the handcuffs, ‘Cheol… You should’ve said something if it hurt, I would’ve taken them off…”

Seungcheol grins at you, eyes unfocused with sleepiness. “Who said it hurt? I didn’t even feel that in comparison to that horrible dry orgasm you made me experience. God, it was like… Like when you have a dream but it feels real until you try to grab for something and realize you can’t?”

The two of you share a laugh as you help Seungcheol off of the bed so that the two of you could properly get cleaned up before he flopped back down onto the sheets.

“Yeah? Trust me, that wasn't even the worst I could’ve done! You’re lucky I took it easy for my first time!”  

[capricornus-rex]

Bad Ideas Make Good Memories (2)

Cal Kestis x Reader

Requested by @queen-destenie​ | Prompt:

i live for you qUEEN! i LOVE your writing. if you have the time, could you do a fic where reader is the most reckless badass and Cal is like ‘wait don’t do THAT’ and she is just ‘im living life BABYY’. she does the most insane things that always somehow work and Cal is literally like what the F*CK’. reader is basically a GOD. please and thank you

Additional tags: Rebel base, Rebel fleet

Previous: Part 1 | Next: Part 3 | Masterlist

2 of ?

Both Jedi Interceptors hovered out of the covered hangar, following the standard operating procedures of the ship—with the help of your astromech droids and BD-1 for Cal only—your ship’s speed warmed up as the landing gears folded in and you’re starting to feel the altitude.

A medley of starfighters and gunships of different make followed at your flank. As all of the ships poured out of the hangar and hovered above the treelines, the two Jedi enhanced their ships’ communications so that it reaches both the command on the ground and the Mantis.

“Wings are now out of the nest,” a scout from the watchtower reports, he repeated the words twice until his voice came through to the command center on the ground.

“All wings report in,” a commander from the ground radioed through all communications.

“Interceptors, standing by.” you and Cal reported.

“Guns, standing by.”

“Aqua Squadron, standing by.”

“Maroon Squadron, standing by.”

The leaders of the Aqua and Maroon Squadrons commanded all of the pilots to report in their call signs—each squadron had eight pilots. The ships were not uniform, but they have the streaks painted across the exteriors of their fighter ships to distinguish them from the other.

R-12 beeped anxiously at you as its scanners picked up the signatures of the incoming TIE Fighters.

“Yeah, I see them, buddy. Good job,” you affirmed.

“Interceptor Two, what’s the current status?”

“Picking up seven signatures, they’ve cut through the atmosphere,” you reported coolly while keeping calm breaths. “TIE Fighters.”

The speeds of the Jedi Interceptors are picking up, the distance between those TIE Fighters is gradually shrinking, and the two of your prepared yourself to attack.

“Stay close, [y/n],”

“I’m gonna have a hard time doing that!” you chuckled.

The TIE Fighters were the first to open fire, all the ships scrambled from their line of fire, causing the TIEs to disperse and chase after their targets—each one has caught an Interceptor in their fronts, both of you were trying to shake it.

In the first few minutes, fighters from the Aqua Squadron have been shot down but the Maroon Squadron backed up the numbers. From the ground, the operators are working real-time as the skirmish occurs in the air.

“Cal and [y/n]?”

“Interceptors One and Two are still online!”

Cere released a sigh that has been choking her since the ships have been deployed. She spotted the twin blips glowing white against the transparent screen, behind those twin blips were the other ships in their designated colors; one by one, each mark vanished from the screen faster than the red ones flying on the other side of the screen.

“Come on, you two…” Cere mumbled under her breath.

The TIE Fighter persisted in tailing you and shooting you until you’re in its range. Glancing only for a second on your radar, you knew you had to think fast.

“[y/n], that TIE is still on your tail!” Cal pointed out.

“I know, I’m trying to shake him. He’s slippery too!”

Cal’s Interceptor and the TIE chasing him flew in your view at your windshield, a lightbulb flickered bright as the sun in your head.

“Cal, I have an idea!”

“Hoo boy, here she comes!” he remarked jokingly. “Okay, what’s the plan?”

“Cover me and I’ll cover you!”

He immediately understood your idea and continued darting through the skies. You gently pushed the steering wheel forward.

“R-12, can you crank up the attack speed!”

“Bee-woop!”

“Attaboy!”

The droid accelerated your Interceptor’s speed to level three. You and Cal’s Interceptors with the TIE Fighters behind you made a swerving bee-line in the sky. The targeting device activated, a white-lined grid glowed over the red screen and the icon of the TIE Fighter registers on the screen.

The enemy’s icon finally settled in the center circle and without a moment’s hesitation, your thumbs crunched the trigger, blue twin lasers shot out of your ship’s guns and damaged the TIE’s wing; you let out another shot and decimated the second wing until it bursts into flames while spinning out of control.

“Alright, my turn, sweetie!”

Cal did a somersault with his Interceptor and placed himself right behind your pursuant. He manually boosted the Interceptor’s attack speed until he was within shooting range. He rested his thumbs over the trigger.

“Watch this, BD!”

“Woooo!”

Ion cannons sputtered out of the barrels and Cal hit a bullseye straight into the TIE Figher’s cockpit. The excited redhead celebrated from the cockpit of his ship and he didn’t realize that his headset in linked in communicating with yours. His celebratory howling busted your right eardrum that you flinched and your ship quaked when you lost a split-second’s worth of control.

“Show-off!” you exclaimed while massaging the crevices of your ear.

“Oh sorry, too loud?”

“No worries, but I’m not gonna let you one-up me, honey!”

“Oh, it’s on!”

The Interceptors flew back into the heart of the skirmish and helped out the other pilots with persistent TIE Fighters on their tails. You and Cal split up to cover the pilots—especially the gunships.

“Keep those TIEs out of the gunships! Guns pack a punch but they’re not built for easy maneuvering!” you barked through the shared-line communications.

“Copy that, Interceptor Two!” the Aqua Seven pilot responded to your call, speaking on behalf of everyone.

All of the smaller and nimbler fighters drew the fire of the TIEs, away from the big gunships that also served as transports for the soldiers; the slippery ones were the ones you pursued, hanging tight in your seat as you maneuver your ship in spins—something that was once a luxury for you when the moment in opportune—and reducing those TIEs into shrapnel with your shooting.

“Nice shooting,” Cal complimented.

“Thanks!” you beamed in a high-pitch, almost too-effeminate tone.

An urgent transmission from the ground cut off your fun, private banter, “I’m picking up some signatures… THEY’RE HUGE!!”

“That can never be good,” you muttered, the playful smile in your face dissolving.

R-12’s scanners have picked up the said signatures as well and reflected them on your radar. Before you even had the time to glance at your screen, they emerged like the undead out of their graves—AT-ATs rising up, rearing their hunched metal backs and heads, and breaking down the trees that stood in their way as they erected themselves.

“Okay, now that is overkill!” you exclaimed at the sight of the pair of AT-ATs.

“Interceptors, I’m picking up another signature—but it’s in the air!”

“Can’t catch a damn break, can we?”

A TIE Assault Shuttle comes to you in full speed and pulls a barrage against you! You barely dodged the hail of blasts it sent your way; only affording a second, you peered at the window at your side while maneuvering your Interceptor—the AT-ATs surely aren’t taking their time, their walking pace doubled from their usual, keeping their sights set on the rebel base after the trees.

Big radar signatures and SHE is going towards it? Great. Cal thought to himself as soon as he saw you zooming past at the corner of his windshield.

“I’ll cover you,” the firm tone in his voice indicated that he doesn’t want to hear a counterargument.

You orbited the walkers and then caught sight of the TIE Assault Shuttle, you only have seconds to come up with a plan; in the blink of an eye, the craziest idea borne from that little disadvantage popped into your head.

“[y/n], you’ve been quiet now. What are you thinking?”

There was a nervous tone in Cal’s voice as he continued to fly by your side while observing the enemy lines. The ground base can also hear everyone’s transmission in designated receivers, and most of them had their ears on you and Cal’s; they detected that unusual silence in your end, they all blankly stared at the holograph that relays your transmissions—anticipating to hear your voice. Cere’s eyes wandered across the flat surface of the illuminated holotable—she stopped observing the other friendlies’ blips, she focused at that one quadrant of the radar with you and Cal’s blips circling the AT-ATs’ signatures.

“What’s happened to her? She’s not down, is she?” one of the head operators blurted.

“No, she’s not—she’s still there,” Cere answered, even if the question wasn’t for her to answer.

You ignored Cal’s question and tightened your grip around your steering wheel. Your fingers dexterously danced across your dashboard.

“She’s prepping her droid… but for what?” the operator relayed.

“R-12, remember when you said you’ll have my back?”

“[y/n]!?” Cal prolonged the syllable in your name as he called you again for your attention.

“Well, you gotta have my back now, R-12!”

“Be-bee… BEEEE?!!?”

Cal saw your starfighter’s cockpit dome opening up in the middle of flight. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened. He still can’t comprehend what plan is running in your mind—and why, of all things, this kind of plan—and how are you going to execute it.

“[Y/N]!!!” he screamed, he didn’t think that you’d hear him with just his bare voice. The microphone of his headset was so overwhelmed by the volume that feedback crackled through your headset—nevertheless, you ignored his voice and for good reason.

Feel… don’t think. You chanted in your mind as you prepared yourself to execute your plan alone.

“R-12, override now!”

“BEEEEE!!!!”

You released your grip from the steering wheel, the Interceptor was now in full control of R-12, and you ejected yourself out of the cockpit, surfing on the wing as your starfighter did a fly-by near the larger TIE. You timed the moment of your jump across with a pinpoint precision that you basically have no backup plan if you don’t make it.

The Jedi Interceptor’s wingspan did little in bridging you to the top of the TIE Assault Shuttle. You kept your feet planted on the wing and then sprang off towards the large enemy ship. You didn’t realize the gap in between was great and you’re afraid that you might have miscalculated yourself.

[joonyverse]

a little comfort to my broken soul - kim namjoon (bts) (oneshot)

A/n: hello everyone! I’m finally back with a fic! It’s a oneshot and featuring namjoon? Shdhdh been having a whole lot namjoon feels nowadays. This fic is basically me writing down my loneliness that i’ve been feeling for a while,,, pretty severe tbh, and yOU KNOW IM A SUCKER FOR ANGST so here it is!

Summary: Everyone knows that the Princess of Saturn is best friends with the Prince of Jupiter. The princess’ and prince’s love & thirst for knowledge was what brought them together. It’s only inevitable in everyone’s thought that they end up together. But what happened is not what it seems to be...

Genre: Angst (slowburn), fLOOF, prince!namjoon x princess!y/n

Warning: suicidal thoughts, curses, loneliness, character death, unedited, grammar mistakes, bad english

Royalty Au

You were only 7 almost 8 years old at the time. Naive? Yes. Innocent? No question. But you know that somewhere inside of you, you seek for something. Something that may be beyond your mind, and maybe anyone’s mind. Your love for books took both the Queen and King of Saturn by surprise, not expecting their daughter’s love for the book. The library seems to be the only place you constantly visit in this huge caste you called home. It only seems right for them to have a book fair to celebrate your 8th birthday.

Coincidentally, your birthday fell on the same day with the visiting of the Queen and King of Jupiter. They brought their son together with him, in hope he will befriended the daughter of Saturn, and perhaps from there, take it into the next step. 

And to both side’s relief, both you and the Prince click together very well. Both falling into conversation easily. It all comes from childish banters and talks to serious and deeper conversation as you grow up. But something, something will never be able to leave your mind, not when he seems to beam so brightly like he could take on the world with his smile as he said it cheerfully,

“Hello! I’m Kim Namjoon!”

Namjoon was two years older than you. Despite that, you both are still closer than ever. Everyone, everybody, knows that both of you are inseparable. The rebellious act you both did as youngster in their youth, running away from the castle in the middle of the night to a garden not far from it, a garden you both call as the Sacred Garden. The act that causes everyone in the castle fell into panic, searching for you both whereabouts.

And now that you are 20, and Namjoon was 22. Both of you are still the best of friend. The playful banter was still there. But now, the conversation could be more deeper and more meaningful.

Namjoon was visitting your kingdom. Well, to be specific, he was on break so he visited you, knowing very well you couldn’t leave due to your school.

And there you both. In your room. You were just home from campus. Despite your status as a princess, your mom still want you to be more socially active with the public, and not to differ yourself with them. And you have no complain about it, you rather like it, and having an open minded family is more than you could ask for. 

Namjoon was sitting on a beanbag that you kept for fun with a book on his hand. You kept some mundane non royal things in your room, to somehow feel more grounded. Living with all the luxuries in life possible could make any human feel rather euphoric, and you don’t like that, and Namjoon knows that. You were laying down on your bed with your phone, that thankfully the kingdom allowed, even if not for public purpose. 

You puff up your cheeks, feeling rather bored with the rather calm or serene surrounding. “Namjoon~” you called.

Namjoon only hummed in response. You sighed, wanting his attention. Let me correct that, you Need his attention.

“Look at meee” you whined childishly, earning a groan from the man. “You and your goody two shoes ass always so drown in books!” you added.

He chuckled, knowing you were probably bored. But he won’t give you the satisfactory of winning, despite he knows he already lose hence his attention isn’t on his book anymore, his eyes just scanning the book carelessly.

You smirked. An idea popped off in your head. An idea to caught his attention. “I don’t get why you’re still reading the hard copy version of books!” you said. “It’s not even… eco friendly! It’s wasting plants!” you added.

Namjoon closed his book. Eyebrow raised. Arms closed. “You and your gadget won’t get the pleasure of reading the book as it is! The smell of paper and the feeling of it” he said before he stick out his tongue at you.

You scrunch your nose playfully. You got up from your bed and walk closer to him. “Yeah? The smell of trees being cut off huh?” you said with a smirk as you stand right before him. “ And you know better that I enjoy books more than anyone!” you said as you stick out your tongue at him too.

Namjoon chuckled and shook his head at the playful banter. He knew both of you meant no harm. One thing that Namjoon always admire from you is your love for the nature. How you always plant any kind of plants in every empty land possible, really avoid the use of non biodegradable products, even though you still consume some meat here and there, if anything, food is rather one of your weakness. 

Namjoon stood up from his seat. Staring down at you as you were shorter than him. He smiled playfully seeing you looking up at him still with that confidence, despite your lack of height. He quietly walk closer towards you, making you walk backwards and slightly lose your composure before gaining it again.

“You and your feisty tongue, how am I your best friend again?” he chuckled. An evil smile painted in his face. You chuckled nervously, knowing what will comes next.

“You know Namjoon? You were right! Hard copy books are- WAIT!”

Before you could even continued your words, you felt your body was pushed towards the bed, fingers around your waist, tickling it. Making you giggle uncontrollably. You gasping for breathe yet you can’t find any as Namjoon keep tickling you as he giggle along with you.

“AHAHAHAH NAMJOON PLEA- AHAHAH- PLEASE STOP!” You said through your giggles. But of course Namjoon had no mercy. Not until you finally gained enough energy to hit his arm that he finally stop. Of course he knows that you were a very ticklish person.

Namjoon let out a final tired giggle as he plop down beside you. You giggled along with him. Little moments like this feel so precious to you. It makes your heart do things that you can’t explain. And yet you feel like you know what it is. But you enjoyed it.

“So, how’s your thing with Jiwon going on?” you asked in a playful tone, curiosity peaked in. You knew Namjoon had a thing for Jiwon, from the Noble House of Kwon. The Kwons are a family close to yours. A little bit of friendly rivalry going on, but it’s all good. You’re just never got too close with Jiwon though. Jiwon was a really nice girl, even perhaps, the people of Saturn might like her more than they like you, or maybe that’s what you thought. And not only that, she was really attractive, and not to mention how smart she is too. She is literally everyone’s dream. 

You look at Namjoon on your side. His face beamed up, thinking about her must got him so over the moon. His smile probably could lighten a ballroom. You smiled too, knowing how happy your bestfriend was.

“I… really like her” he said shyly. You can see his face turn into reddish color like a tomato. “She’s just so amazing, and so pretty as well, I didn’t know human could be that perfect” he added.

And then he suddenly sat up straighter. Face looking right at you. Seeing him makes you sat up too on your bed.

“What? Spill it” you said, feeling nervous and yet concerned all of a sudden. 

“I’m gonna ask her out” he said suddenly. You were feeling caught off guard at him. And suddenly, you felt like the room is closing in on you and yet you don’t even know why.

“Then do it! Do it Namjoon! Go get her baby boy” you teased as you pat his back.

He immediately got off your bed in rush. “See you later y/n!” he shouted as he made his way out of your room which earned a chuckle from you.

You stared back into your phone once he left the room. Eyes soullessly staring into the still beaming bright device, showing where you last read your digital book. For some reason, you can’t focus on the words on the device. Your thoughts keep coming back to one thing and one thing only. Kim Namjoon and Kwon Jiwon.

The sun almost setting. The surrounding could never be more serene. You were sitting on the green grass, enjoying the serenity. Watching the sun sets, with a cup of tea on your side. The knee length skirt you wore beautifully forming a halo around you, if anyone saw you, you would look like a goddess, and yet, you didn’t even realize that. 

Until you felt a presence next to you. Your head turn towards the intruder. Eyes scrunching up a little bit at how bright the sun shone on you. “Hey, Junmyeon” you greeted. You beamed up at him. You immediately feel humbled. Fingers instinctively reaching for the loose strands and tucked it behind your ear. You smiled sweetly at him.

Junmyeon was the sweetheart of your dream. He was really your everything. Well, your everything number two after Namjoon, you had to admit. He was there for you to lend his shoulder for you to cry on,  when you had your first heartbreak, because of some jerk that dated you because he had to move on from his ex only to date his ex again after your breakup despite knowing very well you’ve liked him for so long. He was there when you fought with Namjoon, to hear your rant and your worries. And it was no doubt he was an attractive man. 

“Whatcha doing here y/n?” He asked as he sat beside you. 

“Nothing, just enjoying the view!” You said. You can feel your heart racing and you can only hope it wasn’t loud enough for Junmyeon to hear.

Junmyeon looked ahead, and yet you were entranced by his beauty. His side view, you don’t think anyone can top this. “Yeah... it is beautiful, indeed” Junmyeon said before he turn his head towards you and smiled.

Perhaps it was the mood, perhaps it was the overwhelming feeling in your chest, and perhaps it was just you and your mind playing, but you can’t help but lean into him. Your lips kissing his, softly. 

You thought, it would goes like how you always imagine. The prince of your dream kissing you back, and tell you how he felt the same, telling you that he’s been waiting for this moment to come. But this isn’t fairytale. This is life. And that moment never came.

You slowly pull away, eyes still close. A pang in your heart. You can feel the tears that start to collect underneath your lids. Your heart is broken once again. Of course he didn’t like you that way, or no, of course all this time all he ever had for you was pity. Of course.

“Y/n...” Junmyeon called, his voice shaky.

You waited for it. You waited for it to come. The worst thing. The rejection.

“I really don’t like you that way...” he said carefully.

‘There it is’ you thought. And here you thought you both had something special going on. But of course it was just you being delusional.

“I like... someone else” he added. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat. The feeling of humiliation start coming in. Slowly you open your eyes, hoping the tears won’t fall. “Of- of course” you said shakily. “I’m sorry-“

“No no, it’s me who should be sorry, I shouldn’t lead you on, when I like Jiwon after all” he said. He attempt to put an arm around you, but you flinch away. Being in his arm would be the last thing you want. 

“I- I should go” you said as you stood up. You immediately run from there, accidentally spilling the tea on your way.

You ran to your room. Throwing yourself onto the bed as soon as you arrived. You cried, hard, into the pillow. Of course it was Jiwon. Everybody likes Jiwon, who were you kidding? 

You probably smeared the light makeup you put on, but you didn’t care. Your heart was hurt and broken once again. And this time with no one by your side, you felt so lonely. You fell deep into your own emotions. Exhausted enough to lull you into the dreamland.

Knocks on your door woke you up from the nap you were in. You sat up on the bed. Trying to collect your soul back. Remembering what had just happened pained you again but you felt like all tears had gone. All there is was dried tears on your face and smeared makeup.

“What is it?” You said a little bit louder than your usual voice, so the person behind the door could hear. You walked towards the vanity section in your room, removing the makeup that has smeared.

“You have dinner in an hour with the Queen and the King” the person behind the door said, earning a groan from you.

“The Royal Family of Jupiter would be there too” he added.

You sighed. You look into the reflection of yourself in the mirror. Even you could see the exhaustion in your face. But now, you have to face so many people.

Silently, you got ready with all the energy in you.

It was a rather private dinner. With only your parents, you, Namjoon, and his parents presented. It was a rather nice dinner, conversation with them make you forgot about Junmyeon a little bit and cheer you up definitely.

“Y/n, Namjoon, we both have something to tell you” your mom said.

You stopped eating. Fork was put down. Your eyes stare into her. And you can feel Namjoon did the same.

“Both Namjoon’s mom and dad had talk to us about this, and we agreed with them, because it’s indeed very beneficial to both of our kingdoms, and well, we both know it might be beneficial to both of you as well” your mom said, as she wiggled her eyebrows towards you both, her face beaming up. Namjoon seems confused. But you knew what this is and you can feel the horror starts creeping in, your hearts racing, your face pale. You knew very well what will happen, it happened to your sister, what makes you think that an exception will come to you?

“So... we decide to marry you off with each other!” His father announced. Your eyes immediately search for Namjoon’s.

A deep frown was in his face. His face was red, and you were too afraid to know whether it’s out of anger or anything else. God, you were too afraid to even know how your relationship now with him. You already lost someone today, you don’t want to lose another.

“You are kidding” Namjoon said as his voice fell an octave deeper. You knew he was angry. And you feel your heart breaking once again in a day. What if you lost him too.

The tension in the room was thick. You can feel it. You can even cut it with a knife. And the lump in your throat, it’s almost hurt so bad. Your anxiety kicking in. You really don’t want to be here and hurting.

“Namjoon, y/n, please just go through it, okay? At least for two years, two years and just public is all we need” his mom said, knowing the situation very well.

Namjoon swallowed down. He look at both parents. He nodded. “Two years, and just public” he said before he got up and left the room.

Your eyes followed him before your body do. You don’t even know what to say to him, and yet there you were still running for him.

“Namjoon! Namjoon! Please come back!” You screamed at him as you still run for him. And yet he never stop. The heels you run in was killing you and yet you still run. You can feel your ankle begging you to stop but you run. You don’t want to lose him.

But of course your body won. Your ankle move into wrong position, you had to twisted it and you fell. God it hurts. Of course it hurts. You can’t help but yelp in pain. Hands clutching at the ankle. You feel more pathetic than ever. Your dearest people leaving you and of course you had to have a damsel in distress moment. This is all too cliche for you and yet it happened. Tears were streaming down your face once again. You felt beyond sad, and yet, nobody seems to realize.

And then you felt a presence next to you. Hands around you. You don’t feel the energy to look up to see who it is. But his warmth, his scent, it’s all too familiar. He felt like home, but maybe he is home.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon asked. His voice full of concern. He might be angry, but you were hurting and he won’t put you last or even second.

You shook your head. Sobs escape from you. You just continue crying sadly as Namjoon make you hold him so he can carry you to your room, knowing very well you can’t walk in this state. You buried your face into his neck as you cry.

Namjoon gently laid you on your bed. Your hands immediately come to your eyes covering and rubbing them. Namjoon gently removed your hands. “Stop, you’re gonna hurt your eyes” he said.

You laid on your side. Not even bothering to check your ankle knowing very well that it’s probably swollen and now you have one elephant ankle. “I know it hurts” Namjoon said as he gently reach for your ankle. 

“I’m sorry” he apologised. You were hiccuping. Hearing him apologised makes you want to curl into a ball of guilt. You hate making him feel bad.

“Namjoon...” you called weakly. “If you don’t want to go through the marriage, we can always retaliate and reason with them like a damn adult” you said. Your mind is so clouded with so many scenarios and two of them are the humiliation where Namjoon run away with probably Jiwon, and now that you think about it, that’s probably why he was so angry and that’s a sign that probably he succeed on asking her out and you should tell Junmyeon about it, Or, it will be a lonely first night for you as a bride, the worst nightmare coming true.

“It won’t work y/n, I knew they are planning something, I could see it” he said with a sigh. “It will feels weird, and our friendship will be ruined, because it’s like marrying my sister” he added.

For some reason, you felt a pang in your heart. Does marrying you... sounds that bad? Does he never see you as a woman? Why do you even care? But you stayed silent, opting to not voice your wandering thoughts.

“How’s you and... Jiwon?” You asked as you moved facing him. You can hear your voice sounding a little bit different mentioning her name, and you can only hope he won’t notice. But knowing Namjoon, he probably noticed that. But you couldn’t be more thankful as he didn’t brought it up.

Namjoon beamed at the mention of her name. His face light up, it’s like he forgot of what just happened a moment before , before frown came back as he probably remembered about the marriage. And it pained you knowing you were the source of his unhappiness. You really wanted to cry again.

“I actually succeed...” he said. “But after this-“

“Please, don’t let this marriage be in the way of your happiness Namjoon, that’ll be the last thing I want” you cut him. Your mouth talks faster than your brain can proceed. You messed up and you knew. Now, you’re just going to be a lonely soul eternally.

“You can date her, but in public, you are my- you are with me, that’s all” you said.

“It’s okay” you said. “It’s okay to date her” you added. This is it you thought. Namjoon will definitely agreed to this, if he didn’t you will convince him. This is it. Your lonely life as a bride to a man whose heart belong to someone else. It will hurts but at least, Namjoon will be content, and that’s all you need. The last thing you need is having someone’s unhappy because of you.

“What do you mean?” Namjoon asked, confusion appears in his face because he genuinely didn’t understand.

You take another deep breath. “Our marriage, it’ll be just for the public, but privately, you can date her” you explained.

Namjoon chuckled in bewilderment. “No way, big no way, I’m not an asshole of a husband to date another woman while I am tied to someone, it’s morally wrong!” He said.

“I said it’s okay right? Nothing about having to get married to your best friend is morally right either, marriage in actual need consent from both side, and we both know that doesn’t happen, so please” you said. You closed your eyes. It doesn’t even happen yet and you can feel the loneliness start seeping into your very bones and soul. “Please Namjoon, don’t let me be in the way of your happiness” you said.

You never felt so lonely and hopeless as you did in the moment despite having the dearest best friend of your life next to you. Somewhere deep inside you, you wish to God to take you there and then.

“Y/n...” Namjoon called you. You didn’t want to open your eyes. Knowing very well you’ll lose if you did. He’s always been your weakness, always.

“Please, don’t make me feel even worse for myself, you know how much I hate being a burden to anyone, please, let me lessened it in this way” you pleaded.

Namjoon could literally felt his heart broke at the sight of you. You would never be a burden to anyone. And yet it’s so clear you couldn’t see that. It’s so clear that the clouds of negativity is hovering above you, and truth be told, Namjoon didn’t know what to do this time.

“Talk it out with her, if she’s okay with it, I’m okay” you said again.

Namjoon can’t even say anything. He felt like a damn bastard for even considering your offer. You were hurting and yet he still think about your offer. He’s a man, he’s a human, and he’s weak to temptation. He didn’t want to hurt you even further. And so he slowly retreat himself from you.

And it’s like you both know what choice did he made.

Not till you heard his steps has gone further into the hallway, you sobs loudly. Crying your heart out into the pillow. Screaming into it. Pain of agony felt so unbearable at the time. “God, please just take me now” you chanted, hoping no one will hear, only you, and your demon.

2 months had passed. For some reason, Namjoon had strayed away. He still talk to you time to time, but the chemistry just isn’t there anymore. Namjoon probably didn’t know, but you were dying inside. You were just a shell of a woman.

And the day you dreaded finally come. Of course it bounds to come. The day that you’ll finally be married and live far away from the place you call home, the people you call family, and the scenery you’ll always miss. And finally you’ll step into the journey of being a lonely wife to a prince. A lonely wife to a husband whose heart wasn’t present.

A soulless marriage.

And yet, you went through it all. You went through it all with a bright smile you put on as a facade, like as if you can’t wait for the day you finally get to call your best friend your husband. You pretend like all is fine, beyond fine even. 

It’s like everyone here is happy except for the bride and the groom. Well maybe perhaps except Jiwon who had to watch her boyfriend being married to someone else who’s not her and kissed her. But at least, she was spared from eternal loneliness.

It was emotionally and physically tiring. Having to pretend for hours, it was very draining to say the least. And when it was finally over, you thanked god for finally the saddest event in your life to be over. Your heels, your dress that weight several pounds, your crown, they were so heavy it’s all killing you.

After the whole ordeal finish. You all had some private family time. You said your goodbye to your parents as you will live with Namjoon at his kingdom. Now you’ll finally leave the comfort of your parents, of your home, of your people.

It was a rather silent ride to his home. Neither you nor Namjoon said a thing. And all you wanted to do was cry. This should be your honeymoon, and yet, you feel so miserable. ‘God, please make it better’ you prayed.

Your thought was broken by a hold on your hand. You looked down before looking back at Namjoon. Your eyes feel so watery and yet you don’t even know why. So many emotions coming over you and it’s all suffocating.

“I’m yours, y/n” he said, his voice was very gentle, you almost break. “I’m yours” he added.

You were confused. You totally were. What did he mean? He’s technically yours but you both know he wasn’t. “Namjoon, what do you mean?” You asked.

He just pulled you closer into him. He stares into your eyes, so deep you were overwhelmed. He sees it all. Your loneliness, your depression, literally everything. And he just wants to give you the comfort you need.

But he knows, you won’t tell him. Not in a million years. Not until your time finally run out and the bomb that is you exploded. Not till your walls break down and you finally let him back into your heart.

A month had passed. Neither Namjoon nor you had bothered to talk with each other. Things had been hectic anyway for you to even have a serious conversation. You’ve both been busy with public appearances here and there to have a serious deep talk. Your emotions both have been put aside, facing the world with a facade. 

Not until you both finally got time to rest. Days off, just like anyone else. You were in the balcony that was connected to the supposedly Namjoon and yours room. Not like Namjoon sleep here anyway. And every night, it kills you just how lonely you are. You never knew how much you could despise the silence of the night. Just how dead it seems the night. 

You look ahead. The view from the balcony was everything but disappointing. It faces the garden, just how you would like it if this marriage was anything but a scheme. But nevertheless, you enjoyed the view. It soothes the burning pain inside you. You saw the gardener watering the plants, and seeing people do their own things, it makes you feel a little bit more alive. 

Your empty thoughts was suddenly interrupted by the intruder that doesn’t even bother to knock the door and roughly opened the door to the balcony. You immediately look back towards the intruder.

There Namjoon stands, a little bit out of breath and unsteady compared to his usually calm composure. His eyes are wide opened. He seems frantic. And this create a panic in you seeing him so distraught. 

“Namjoon, what happened?” you asked, voice shaking. Hands reaching out to him, helping him steadied himself.

“It’s your parents y/n” he said, voice far from calm, it’s like the world calm had been thrown out of the window. “Their car… their car…”

“Their car what Namjoon?” you asked, tears threatening to fall from your eyes like a broken dam. You were scared to know what’s going on and you’re sure you don’t want to hear what happened next. 

“Someone set a bomb on their car y/n” he said. “No survivor” he continued.

You fell to the ground. It’s like your whole world finally fell apart. The dam is broken. Tears keep falling, not knowing its end. Your cheeks are wet. Sobs keep coming out of your mouth. Namjoon at your side, pulling you into his embrace. His hand keep caressing your back while the other pulling you closer into him.

You can’t keep your head up. You were mourning. Your people were mourning. Namjoon at your side keeping you grounded. His very presence comfort you a little bit, and that’s enough. The town was so dead, and your feel wasn’t far from it. So many memories of your parents come across you, and every each one of them managed to broke your heart even more. You were hurting beyond belief. You prayed to God for some kind of remedy to your never-ending pain or if he can’t, then please just take you away. You were beyond tired.

The long ceremony finally ended. You laid on your bed in your bedroom. Tears not even coming out anymore. You felt a weight on your side but you said nothing.

“y/n…” Namjoon called as he pulled you into his embrace once again, spooning you just like how he knew it’s always been your favorite since you were little.

“Please, just talk to me okay? Tell me everything, god, I won’t even mind if you hit me, just talk to me okay?” he said gently into your ear. And yet you still say nothing.

“Y/n, I know how lonely you’ve been, and I know you won’t let me in and comfort you, but please, I lo- I care about you too much, so please, let me in, and let me comfort you” he said.  “baby, please…”

Your eyes watered again. You can feel it coming. You don’t even know why you held it in again. You don’t even know why you don’t confide in him. “Namjoon, please I’m so tired, I’m so lonely, I don’t even want to live… this is all to hard” you sobs.

He hugged you even tighter, as if to let you know that he’s here, no matter what. “I want to feel loved, I want my parents back, I want… I want to be brave to feel things, because-“ you choked. “I feel so dead inside” you continued.

“So Namjoon please, even if you don’t mean it, please just… just pretend like you love me with the sincerest heart and love, love me just for tonight” you begged.

Namjoon gently turning you to make you facing him. “y/n… It’s always been you, god I know what you’re thinking but I realized…”

“I realized that what I feel for Jiwon, is nothing like what I feel for you” he continued. “It’s always been you, baby” he said. His eyes full of sincerity and that makes you want to cry harder.

“Namjoon please, don’t lie to me, I can take the truth like a big girl, so please… don’t lie to me about this… especially this” you begged. Despair fill your whole being.

“Baby look at me” he said. Your eyes can’t help but stare into him. “Y/n, it’s always been you, and will always be you” he said. “I love you” he assured.

“B-but the things with Jiwon-” “It never happened”

“But why?” you asked, your voice small.

“Because you are you and I love you for who you are” he said. He stared into you with so much sincerity you almost got overwhelmed by it. You looked away, not wanting to fall deep into his eyes.

His lips hovering above your jaw, his eyes were closed, and you can feel his breath on you. “baby...” he called.

You looked into him. His eyes were staring right at yours. You didn’t remember whether it was him or you, but next thing you knew, his lips was on you, kissing you softly as if you were a fragile china that needed to be protected, and yet, you can feel how he tried to proves it to you that his feelings were true. And you can’t help but kiss him back. Lips enveloping each other, kissing like there’s no tomorrow.

Both of you let go to your needs of oxygen. Out of breath, but yet, despite everything, you felt like something inside you is awoke again. Slowly, you opened your eyes. His already looking back at you.

“It will take time, but I will show you just how much I love you”

It’s now been six months. Everything had gone by, and without you realizing, winter has come.

You were curling into a ball in bed. Eyes were still closed. Hand reaching to your side, searching for a certain someone. Not long after, you felt a weight crawling over you, making you smile despite being in your sleepy state.

“Hey, searching for me baby?” Namjoon whispered into your ear before he peppered your neck in kisses, slowly making his way into your face. Smile painted his face

You giggled. Your hands reaching for his face, want to bring it up towards yours. “Good morning to you too baby” you said before you reach up to him for a kiss. “Why were you up?” you asked in a playful whine tone.

“I’m sorry baby, I went to the bathroom” he said before reaching for another kiss. “Do you want to go on a date tonight?” he asked.

“Why tonight when I have a whole day for you?” you pouted.

He chuckled. “Sorry love, I have to visit somewhere later, I’m free afterwards though” he assured.

“Well, Mr. Kim, you have a lunch date with Mrs. Kim at the Palace” you said, your face were beaming so brightly. Namjoon can’t help but give you another deep kiss, what can he do? He is a man after all who will always fall for his wife’s temptation. Making said wife chuckled.

“And who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky tonight” 

[i-sveikata]

Teen Wolf S06E12 liveblog

because of reasons 

what the hell its so bright. teen wolf legit cant get a handle on their lighting for this damn show its either impossible to see or blinding.

ugh theo really? are we supposed to feel sad for this guy because he’s homeless now the fuck. why do they only bring back the boring white guy characters? where’s danny?? where’s kira? where’s literally anyone else but him.

cool man time for spider murder

dude this is clearly a recurring issue. why is nobody calling his parents?? hes literally an underage kid they keep catching sleeping in a car the fuck??? deputies aint doing shit

omg bruh you have clearly never been to australia. why the fuck you let that spider crawl up your arm? thats on you boo

and of course nobody locks the clinic and we need that obligatory shirtless scene to pull the spider out of his body. not creepy at all

ah yes spiders disappear in a puff of smoke all the time. this is natural spider behaviour.

lol why do people think that if they call scott he will answer? when has he ever actually picked up his phone when ppl need him?? boy keeps it on silent i swear.

ahh yes that getting shot up by a bunch of hunters feeling. but guess who isnt going to die? this seemingly immortal white guy, the shock.

oh no scott flashbacks boy, get out, protect yourself

are they trying to imply that scott ran all that way and malia and lydia just caught up with him? was the running part of the flashback? questions

“do you hear that” its death. lets assume its death.

“hunters. run” wow. those hunters sure are convenient showing up when the show needs a new plot device and literally never appearing otherwise. did chris argent frighten them all away?

what scott bby no, thats your besties dad. put down the sheriff friend

oh what do you know they were flashlights all along and not the red laser things for shooting ppl. much joy.

did scott just come out as a werewolf to the rest of the deputies? i support him.

“Whats wrong with his eyes” lol thats the only thing theyre stuck on, not the transformed face or the growling or the body hair? ok.

“Stand down” ye parrish protect scott. is he part of the pack? did we ever have that confirmed or do we just assume.

oh the deputies lowered their weapons and lydia and malia give scott some vaguely ambiguous looks. 

why do they always have such intense music when literally nothing happens?

if theyre about to do a ptsd storyline for scott (which straight up would make so much sense tbh) i stg they better not make fun

scott awkwardly like “You dont think they saw anything do you” “No more than theyre used to” lol beacon hills u have problems.

scott? why you hiding shit from stilinski? tell him about the bullet. 

why does lydia just stand there for that entire scene and say literally nothing like wtf. dazzling banshee statue.

okay they all decided not to tell the sheriff about chris but like why? sheriff isnt the shoot first type. whats the point?

mason getting distracted talking about bretts 8pack is life.

liam picked mason up and literally carried him out of the locker room im screaming.

dodgy counsellor murderer lady is back

sun tzu quotes. art of war and an ominous knife in the table just another day in the college counsellor ladies office.

oh no poor kid murdered by spiders noooooooooooooooooo in his mouth why

eichen house- gross let that place die already. 

parrish “Im not letting you in that place” wtf let her? nah man. hard pass.

trying to hack into chris laptop- is the password gonna be allison dont do this to us you assholes.

you fuckers didnt even let scott write out allisons name before panning away from the laptop jesus

parrish in the bowels of creepy eichen house what the fuck is even going on in this place honestly

dear god quiet girls voice asking for help fuck that shit right off. nope. parrish gotta flash the eyes for that access because apparently everybody knows about the supernatural in beacon hills now. not a far stretch tbh.

lol doctor locked him in. solidarity.

oh hey i think i saw corey for two seconds. not sure. is theo playing lacrosse with them??? idk. does he even attend school anymore?

is that meant to be brett who body checked him? legit cant even see ppl behind the lacrosse helmets.

i swear they just trying to establish a story line for liam in case they can come back with another show. but like he aint that interesting sorry.

why is it just destroy goalie corey now? hes doing his best. trying to stay visible.

counsellor lady looking at brett. newest victim?? brett trying to help liam get control ayeee werewolf pals.

the fuck parrish. how is the population of beacon hills not constantly dropping with all these body piles that keep showing up everywhere.

haha nurse dude who locked him in was evil, were they trying to surprise us with that?

yet another liam rage moment. somebody help this kid chill out for five seconds.

chris making deals, finding out ppl buying guns from him are fake army dudes what a ride. wheres his backup? 

“I had a guy on the inside” “who” “youre standing on him” lol malia and scott arrive to fuck it up again.

huh a massive shoot out where nobody got shot and the bad guy got away. nice.

“You dont have a cell in here that can hold me” damn parrish sounding tough and shit before he becomes a popsicle.

did they honestly just bring brett back so the new counsellor lady could kill him. harsh

lydia up to her banshee shit again. save parrish.

“I havent stamped a bullet since allison died” dear god rip my heart out.

how did it take them literally that long to find the dead kid who got eaten by spiders in the locker room? like was he just lying there all day and nobody noticed.

lol lydia went to eichen house and didnt tell anybody she was going there. smart move. much good plan.

bruh this nurse guy gonna kill parrish. what is lydia even doing rn?

jesus everybody be having flash backs for when they were tortured at some point in the past. poor girl be having a panic attack.

OMFG THEY DID IT AGAIN DAMMIT. WHY DOES EVERY FEMALE CHARACTER HAVE TO HAVE A FREAK OUT BEFORE SHE HAS AN EMPOWERING MOMENT GODDAMN.

like literally they go all terrified and crying before their expression gets intense and powerful like seriously? girls dont all react the same way you cowards.

wow actually having a moment where scott admits he got freaked out. cant remember the last time that happened. oh hey and here comes the malia x scott scenes. how is this not weird?

has literally everybody hooked up on this show now at some point?

hahah chris turns up with a laser sight thing on his gun. very appropriate. not traumatising at all.

aww scotts little smile after he looked at malia was kinda sweet. 

omg the way they flinched when chris raised his gun- these poor fucking kids man. cant catch a break

oh god when young pack gang find the spider kid decidedly not dead and they say they tried to call him and he checks his phone and is like “huh musta died” THATS A TERRIBLE PUN. VERY BAD.

wooo they figured out its an inexperienced hunter killing ppl. also where did brett go? are we just assuming hes alive because he got away idk?

im liking the little pack powows in scotts kitchen. simpler times.

it all comes down to fear. “What are they afraid of?” “....us” DUN DUN

hold up counsellor lady got scratched? she a werewolf now???? omg lol brett jumping out of trees to attack counsellors who tried to kill him.

gets shot by an arrow for his efforts. flees into the night. noice.

ugh gerard. bruh. you need to die. lets not take the counsellor lady under your wing. beacon hills is running out of bodies to make piles out of as it is.