#you guys cannot be normal about films by women and i hate you. this is me fucking hating you. i am HATING YOU.

[lesbiancolumbo]

logged onto letterboxd with the express purpose of unfollowing someone and then got so distracted by a completely separate person being awful and annoying that i unfollowed them instead of the person i originally came on here to vote off the fucking island. u r permitted to stay alive....... but watch yourself mccoy.

[elendsessor]

so uh me and my family went to go see ghost busters world iceborne today and it was fine kinda??

i do want to talk about it since i have a lot of feelings about it despite only seeing this and the original

but first actual thing that genuinely is awful that i do want to make known: if you’ve seen trailers you might know that the movie got sponsored by booking.com and yes they do shoehorn it in the movie. booking.com has very positive ties to israel because y’know travel agency and is one of several companies the bds suggests pressure boycotting so please please please do not ignore that fact about the movie please please please please do not support booking.com. do boycott booking.com.

uh spoilers below the cut i guess?

ok actual positives because i fucjing loved the ghost designs. cgi wasn’t great at points (main bad guy ghost dude i forget the name of looked best when obscured in shadows and not actually shown in detail) but the designs were at least done well. and phoebe and melody’s relationship was cute yet was done so fucking dirty. the movie did have good jokes and the acting was really solid, the world building is cool, and yeah if you turn your brain off for most of the film it’s fun. only when there’s action and ghosts is it actually compelling i noticed and it’s really sad since a good chunk of the movie is not that.

there’s too much plot ok. it’s your run of the mill family drama with ghosts sometimes there. i’m tired of the family is forever shit when it isn’t found family or paints the parents as “flawed but well meaning” and having the dad be lovingly stupid (gary’s technically not the biological dad but he does do dumb dad—pretty much flanderized homer simpson you know the trope), the mom strict to a fault but is right in the end, and incompetent brother who’s trying his best but needs a little help. most families are not like this. most families are dysfunctional in their own ways. you don’t have to have physically abusive parents or unsupportive parents to have shitty parents. painting families in this very generic way sets a really really unhealthy expectation that if your parents aren’t openly pieces of shit you aren’t allowed to hate them or if you defy them you’re automatically in the wrong.

but then there’s phoebe. oh is there phoebe.

i hate how in movies now to get across female empowerment is just make the girl super smart and be shoved in the spotlight too often. she is not interesting at all i’m sorry. you can tell she’s the smart one because she wears glasses and likes science isn’t that quirky? seriously when are we going to just get a strong female lead who has interests that aren’t tomboyish or *insert school subject here*? filmmakers do know that girls and women are also human beings with a wide range of individual likes and dislikes that can’t be reduced to tropes right??? again creating the unrealistic expectation that women cannot be treated like normal people unless they’re uber smart or uber strong. this is a problem for all minoritized group representation and i really cannot hate anyone who doesn’t like how the film industry is trying to bend over backwards for groups to force in representations that only hurt them.

biggest sin is she is not interesting on her own. she is so tropey it’s a fucking travesty. melody the ghost girl was the only compelling person—the only one who made phoebe somewhat interesting to watch—and of course she’s not safe from being a trope. i don’t like how melody has to have direct ties to bad guy mcbad and the sudden turnaround that, while it paid off for her, was rushed to hell and back for the drama.

and worst of all, there was homoerotic tension between phoebe and melody and nothing ever happens.

please just let them hold hands.

i know this is a mainstream movie so two people of the same sex even brushing up against one another is a crime but.

they were cute together and fueled several ghost au fanfic ideas.

damn you film industry.

[rescue-ram]

tell us more about barbie, i live for the drama 👀

I will happily give spleen to my thoughts friend ❤️

I will start by being fair: absolutely everything about this movie is intentional and I respect that. A series of very deliberate artistic decisions were made, the actors put Their Whole Pussy into their performances and fully committed to the bit, this was probably the least stupid Barbie movie that could've been made. My two friends are both big into musical theater and loved it- if someone is the sort of person who laments the death of the Classic Hollywood Musical, I could 100% see them vibing with this film.

That being said, while I see the vision and respect the execution, it is just so aggressively Not My Thing I hated it. Zero anger in my heart in saying that! I just hate it and never want to see it ever again!

That being said! LENGTH. There were a number of scenes that just went on for way too long and could've been trimmed. The jokes were not that funny- they seriously did the same punchlines like 5 times in a row every time they had a joke, like just repeating the same bits. The ones that stand out as overdone were brewskis and horses, and the bit where they're kidnapping Barbies and deprogramming them with Twitter Feminism 101. I got it after the second one! They also kept repeating the same feminist bits over and over. And like there's two "touching" scenes that like, I got within 30 seconds but went on for a full 90. I zoned out hard in one scene and I can't even remember what was going on it was so boring.

Every character INCLUDING the human "real world" characters were shallow, uncanny, and unrealistic, which blurred the lines in a weird way. Like you see the Barbies and Kens being really weird and go "Ah, because they're dolls" but then very quickly all the humans are exactly the same?? At first I thought it was just the Mattel guys that were weird, but no, EVERY character is Not Human and I didn't like it!

I said this was the least stupid Barbie movie that could've been made, but this is still a stupid movie! Everyone involved knows this is stupid and is leaning into it and having fun but it is so so stupid! I feel stupid even complaining about some of the shit in this movie but like, they have this subplot where the Mattel guys want to put Barbie in a box, and it's ambiguous if it will actually send her back to Barbieland or if they're just going to tie her up and imprison her for all eternity?? And then it's literally never brought up again? And then the Mattel guys go to Barbieland by literally just rollerblading there so you don't need like Barbiemagic or something? I feel like a moron even mentioning it, it's intentionally stupid, but I don't like movies that remind me of how stupid they are!!

Also fully hated the feminism in this movie but I think that's just my own politics or something. Both my friends loved it- one wants to bring their husband to get him to understand feminism. It's just that deeply alienating thing of women being like "You have to wear makeup to be taken seriously but if you wear too much you're degraded, you have to flatter men but not be seen to try too hard, blah blah blah!" And I'm just like. Those are not real problems. Also I have never fucking worn makeup a day in my life and I wear men's clothes regularly and I've never felt mistreated I have always had positive working relationships with men and have a job I love and am good at. It just pisses me off in a vague way I can't really complain about when people talk about stuff like that because I hear many women express these thoughts and see even more agree but they are SO FOREIGN to my own experiences and reactions I cannot relate!!

I don't know, again I feel stupid but there's this big moment at the end where Barbie Designer Mom gets to pitch her big idea to Mattel and she wants "Ordinary Woman Barbie who's a mom with a normal job who just wants to wear a flattering top and feel okay about herself!" And it's treated as this big moment but the whole movie felt like YET ANOTHER IN A MILLION QUASI FEMINIST MEDIA PROJECTS where a woman can be anything she wants except butch!! That would be an actual shift if little girls were given a butch doll to project onto but oh my God this is stupid I'm terminating the thought. The gender politics in this movie are so overt but they're so shallow. Also there's some weird "gay men are basically women" coding I don't know how I'm meant to interpret??

This is LITERALLY a kids movie for adults. Aesthetically, thematically, on every level, this is not meant to challenge, it's meant to be fun and silly and give you a little message. Love and light to this movie's intended audience, I'm sure there are many many people who are going to enjoy this movie but I did not!!

[rulanarinrush]

d/rdt rewatch prologue. yes im doing this out of order bc i forgot the prologue was a thing. big deal

a "she" attacks the figure with the wound. i support women's wrongs

the bleeding figure is not wearing anything on their hands. there is no tattoo either.

rounded the corner when knocked into. confirms my suspicion that xander was going back towards the dorms, even though teruko confirms that the doors all lock behind them

position of xander's body foreshadows death

how did teruko carry xander to the infirmary? princess style? or did she drag him by the legs like a slaughtered hog?

"it's up to me to change things" if i didn't know your mental instability revolved around shame guilt and helplessness i would ascribe this line to ego

xander has put several government officials in jail+enemies+good at espionage(???)

believes society is messed up despite believing the best in people. interesting. if that's the case, i would use the words "law" and "social norms" and "corruption" rather than "society" because that puts the blame on the normal people living in it, rather than the people running it. unless of course we got ourselves a banal evil guy here.

xander's old classmates were "uptight" possibly contributing to his loneliness when becoming the ultimate rebel yet still attending the same school

guzheng-- hu

practiced for many years-- talent not innate

focus-- inspire emotions

J can sniff the actor in Xander LMFAO

energic and overbearing like J's also not that LOL???

does everything, but specializes in theater

loves the work, dislikes the actors. mommy issues coming in hot

acknowledges that she's a prejudiced person, an interesting parallel between her and arturo.

everything "looks" new

veronika is a scholar, according to her. fan of every medium involving it, which includes my sick and twisted mind /j

forever dead-- involves boy, time loop, disillusionment.

is aware that people perceive one as being "weird" for being passionate about this sort of thing. I actually think veronika is the sanest out of everyone here lol she's just very belligerent in later chapters the amount of people that i see ascribe her talent to her insanity is! well! no wonder fandom is having a moral purity satanist freakout with people unable to distinguish that fiction and paraphilias from reality

david: i hate this mofo. can i use bend him over while we go exploring

teruko: sees his real personality. as such, all events with him are colored in this film of greasy fakeness. however, the events of the story challenge both their beliefs on true vs fake hope, because even though arei explicitly knows his hope is fake, she becomes a better person anyway.

xander: explicitly(?) believes in david's goodness. however, i am unsure whether "moral goodness" and "cheerful politene demeanor" are explicitly linked. in fact, teruko and xander may be thinking about different things relating to his personality here. one can be an asshole misanthrope while still doing good. probably not tho lol and xander does believe in his stage persona

levi: me and xander, we are a kindred spirit! do not want to discuss past. xander: fuck murderers actually. levi: im killing you with ur boots on

inchresting that it's (likely) the two people most interested in leaving death behind became murderers first

doesn't want to be an ultimate or jockey

min needs to constantly work to maintain her title

based on er reaction, she agrees with xander, but they both fundamentally cannot understand the other's desperation

definitely not LOL CACTUS SCENE STRIKES WITH WEIRDO TERUKO. THE SHIT I WILL WRITE WHEN THAT SCENE COMES UP IS INSANE THERES GRIEVING FOR REPRESSED FEELINGS OF LOST LOVE, PLATONIC OR ROMATIC, AND WHATEVER THE FUCK WAS GOING ON WITH TERUKO'S FANTASY. WHY ARE YOU DREAMING ABOUT BRINGING A KNIFE TO TURN THE TABLES RATHER THAN HIM JUST NOT BRINGING ONE AT ALL OR COMING CLEAN AND THROWING IT AWAY??\

oh shit the introduction is over my bad. anyway whit only ever apologizes to teruko and not xander in later chapters. could have happened offscreen but it would be funnier if xander was just not his type Lol

rose mentions years have passed

"one of those old tv things" I KNOW IM GONNA BE AN OLD TROLL SOON BUT OUCH

"the audience has seen this kind of thing already" either

we are the audience, ok... makes whit's fourth wall breaks make sense but like... yeesh. don't really believe this idea

the audience has seen a killing game before. this means

a. the characters should be aware of the past killing game from the tragedy but aren't

b. killing games have become common place in the drdt world while the characters were conked(more likely)

explicitly says they missed the entrance ceremony. may confirm rose's theory, but i think mon/otv is lying about the former due to the bonus episodes

"snuff film enthusiasts" this was genuinely my first theory when i was introduced to the show through an acquaintance and then i found the website and it said 16+ LOL there's no way they're going in a ... certain direction

"real mastermind is one of you" as in the characters or the fourth wall? i think its referring to characters because. while i guess i wouldn't be opposed to some fourth wall message i am truthfully worried about the execution of that

[demons-fanatic]

Luca: Fish out of Water

Hi guys, this is going to go over the literal entire movie so if you haven't seen the movie... Don't go below!

This post will be a full film analysis of Pixar's new movie, Luca and how it is clearly a Queer Allegory more than anything else.

Disclaimer: This entire post uses Queer in a reclaimed sense, especially in a sense for the entire community. If you do not like that, sorry.

So... Fish People. Luca is a 2021 Film by Pixar and distributed by Disney on Disney+. Unsurprisingly, I did not watch Luca legally and do not ever plan to, I will never give money to a homophobic tyrant such as Disney... Ever. But, I do love this Movie.

So, first things first... Does this Movie really have that much Queer subtext? Yes, it does. It really does and I think it'd be impossible to deny it. According to the Director, the intention was not to be a strictly LGBT reading, as it is just a film about people who are different. Which is true, that's exactly what this movie is about. But with certain key events and even phrases, I find it so hard for the intent not being Queer people specifically.

TL;DR Plot:

The Plot of Luca surrounds the titular Character and his friend, Alberto as they manage to explore the Surface World. Luca and Alberto are Fish People who are also able to transform into Humans once they dry off on Land. This is called "The Change" and it's unclear why this happens.

The Movie starts with Luca going to the surface and meeting Alberto, a fellow Fish Person. They begin to dream about getting a Vespa, or a Motor Scooter. Soon, Luca gets discovered by his Parents for going to the Surface and is almost sent away to the Deep Sea. He leaves and him and Alberto reach Portorossa, a town in the Italian riviera. A town that is very Anti-Fish People.

There, they meet a brattish teenager named Ercole and a younger girl named Giulia. Alberto and Luca learn about a Triathlon event in the town that will net them some money to buy a Vespa.

Giulia introduces the boys to her Father, Massimo; who is very Anti-Fish People.

They boys train and Luca's parents come to search for him. During this time, Alberto during a training session goes awry with the bike and ends up crashing into the Sea with Luca alongside him. They make it but due to a building upset nature, Alberto reveals himself but to his surprise, Luca acts like he didn't know about Alberto's nature. Leaving Alberto to leave back to his tower.

After feeling bad, Luca visits Alberto to apologize but Alberto is too upset to accept much. Luca proclaims he'll win the race to win the Vespa and the next morning he starts the Triathlon slow but builds up in performance. During this, it starts to rain. At the top of a hill, Alberto calls out to Luca but is forced to reveal himself. Luca overcomes his fear and saves Alberto and wins the race.

Though, their identities are found out, Massimo, who has grown attached to Alberto, is accepting of them and so does the town. This creates a welcoming Fish Person Environment in the town and it's also revealed not everyone who appeared human in the town was either.

Finally, Giulia is forced to go back to School, but it turns out Alberto sold the Vespa to buy a Train Ticket so Luca can go to School as he previously expressed interest in. Massimo also practically adopts Alberto. The boys embrace each other in a very impactful event and don't stop looking at each other until they get far away.

The Allegory...

So, there is a lot of detail I left out in that description but on purpose, of course. In this part I'll be detailing all of the parts that allude to Queer allegory and what it means. Of course, most people can think on their own but this is just here to describe the parts of it that stand out.

Firstly, Fish People are obviously just the LGBT community. I mean, people who have to hide their identity out of fear, especially in a fear of being killed? It's basically staring you in the face. Fish People are able to turn into Humans, which is when LGBT members have to blend in. The two Women at the end are sort of the example of LGBT members who have fully assimilated into normal Society, especially in a Homophobic or Transphobic environment or "Comphet" and being Closeted. I personally can identify with this one. Other characters like the Grandmother can be examples of LGBT people who are comfortable enough they don't feel the need to hide but also understand living is better than dying, but have "fun" with it.

Massimo is definitely an example of the Homophobes or Transphobes who wholly make it their entire personality to hate on Gay People or Transgender People but they're actually exactly like that or one of them. Of course, Massimo isn't a Fish Person but soon after it's shown in the Credits he immediately becomes very accepting especially after having to confront with himself the person he found himself attached to like his own Child, was what he once hated.

Giulia is just an example of an Ally, someone who may not be LGBT but fully supports them. Most people if they hear about how bad something is their entire life will be afraid once first faced with it but she almost immediately becomes accepting after learning Luca is also a Fish Person, trying to protect him.

The Betrayal of Luca to Alberto is a good example of internalized Homophobia and fear of also being found out. As I will describe later, Luca and Alberto are a CLEAR example of a Queer Romantic Relationship. When Alberto reveals himself, Luca found himself in a situation of extreme pressure and anxiety. He just found a life he could be potentially be living and instead of revealing himself as a Fish Person(Queer...) he instead "plays it safe" as he sees it in his mind and acts like he had no idea Alberto was a Fish Person(Queer, again...). It's something that does happen in real life, unfortunately, being outed or having people just like you, reject you, even if they are exactly like you.

The Parents of Luca are representative of Closeted People and the fear that if you out yourself, you can at any point be rejected to the point of even death. It's this fear the perpetually stagnates and personal growth. Of course, in real life there really are situations where you cannot come out for decades in fear of the same thing. And it's not like his(Luca's) parents had a reason not the fear the same.

Ercole, obviously just represents a full homophobe or transphobe. Someone who is unwilling to change and will continue to be homophobic and never question himself even when people near him are accepting. He also represents the power someone who is homophobic may have. Even if the other people who he influences aren't homophobic or transphobic.

This one is a bit rocky, but the Vespa is possible an allegory for the idealized "Vehicle" of escape... If you've seen Adolescence of Utena, it's the exact same thing. However, in this one this Vehicle is achieved but then lost, willingly. It becomes a Vehicle still in the way that it helps Alberto and Luca in their lives, finding their own Paths. It helps them both in the beginning to realize a goal of escape or betterment then near the end kicks off Luca's path and Alberto's.

Lastly, we have Luca and Alberto themselves... Now, as I said before, they are a clear representation of a Queer Relationship, specifically a Gay Relationship. You can interpret it as a Platonic Relationship, but I do it in the romantic Sense. Yes, I am aware the boys never confess ever or do anything very romantic, like kissing or holding hands. But throughout the movie, it's clear, very clear. They start out with Luca become attracted to his ideals and his mission and both of them soon form a Mission where they want to do the Vehicle of escape as I just mentioned. Soon after almost being sent away, Alberto and Luca go to Portorossa together and continue to build their relationship. Alberto and Luca defend each other and obviously care about each other. Soon after, Giulia and Luca grow a closer bond but nothing as close as Luca and Alberto. It's obvious that Alberto really likes Luca. Like, really obvious because this goes on until Alberto crashes him and Luca into the Sea and then the betrayal scene happens. During that scene it's clear that Alberto is extremely hurt, like really hurt. It reminds him that not only is he the "Bad" one in his head, the only person he thought he cared for(or loved) would willing to betray(out) him so that he can assimilate safely into Human(Heterosexual) culture. It definitely makes him feel bad and revert a bit back into a lone wolf mindset. Nearing the end, Alberto comes back nearing the end of the race with an Umbrella to help Luca win. But he ends up being tripped and revealed as a Fish Person. This is definitely just forced outing, it's quite obvious. But then Luca overcomes his fears and basically dreams of a normal life to safe his Friend(or Boyfriend, whichever you want). Luckily for them, due to Massimo seeing how much of a good person Alberto is, instead of attacking the boys, he accepts them as he realizes they're nothing like he thought. On the movies' downside, the town does fortunately accept the boys and all the Fish People. This isn't really realistic in any sense but, it does just explain a theory of mass acceptance if one let goes of their prejudice. The Grandmother in the following scene also explains a perfect Queer-like line:

"Some people will accept him, some never will. But he knows how to find the good ones." (Not an exact quote...)

I think to anyone who is in a marginalized group, specifically LGBT for this case, will relate to this line. It's very basic, but means a lot. It's also a strong reason why I feel like despite everything officially said, with everything else, this IS a Queer intended allegory.

Finally, the end scene at the Train is a good one and explains how Alberto and Luca after finding themselves and growing as people, they find their own way and are happy about it. Alberto and Luca hug, devastated at the fact they have to leave each other, even temporarily. It's sad and very real. Leaving your lover even for the betterment of yourself is extremely heartbreaking and you don't think you can do it at first, especially if you've been through a lot together.

Final Thoughts

So, I know I am not the only one that has seen everything I just said. In fact, the film's popularity right now seems to be exactly because of that. Not to mention the Movie's visuals are fantastic as well as the music.

You don't have to view this as a Queer reading, but I find it almost impossible not to and I, again, am not the only one. You can view it as basically any marginalized group, especially the ones that have to keep their identity hidden. I do think it's great this movie can bring a good allegory and subtext about a possible Gay MLM Relationship even if unintentional. I know Disney would not allow it, but I hope in the planned sequels they do a bit more of subtext. Of course, not to the point of Queerbait. But, we'll see. I think that Pixar has an amazing opportunity to try and slip by the censors... But probably not. It is good, though, that the director openly accepts a Queer Reading, so we're not left in the dark with someone trying to deny all Queerness.

_________

If you read this, thanks! I might update this post with more or edit it to clear things up. If you want to follow me, go ahead. But I just normally do Soulsborne lore posts so you won't find much here. I am not a Pixar or Disney person either, I just did this so I can talk about gay fish.

[mst3kproject]

Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks

This movie has a real all-star cast as far as us MSTies are concerned.  There’s Rossano Brazzi, who was Phineas Prune in The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t; Edmund Purdom, whom we know as Griba from Ator, the Fighting Eagle; and Salvatore Baccaro, the leader of the cavemen in Starcrash.  The film itself is absolute, irredeemable trash and I love it like my own garbage child.

We begin out of nowhere with a bunch of peasants beating a caveman to death.  What?  Where are we?  When are we?  Who are these people?  Why is one of them a cavemen wearing a fur loincloth and the rest are just normal people in pants?  Why are they beating him?  Did he do something that pissed them off, or do they just hate him because they’re, like, anti-Neanderthal racists?  What the fuck is going on?  We will never really find out.  We just cut straight to Dr. Frankenstein hauling the troglocorpse into his lab.

That’s how this movie rolls.  Don’t bother asking questions, just try to keep up.

Count Frankenstein’s daughter Maria has returned to her childhood home, bringing along her fiancé Eric and her friend Krista, who has an unhealthy relationship with polka-dots.  Krista is immediately fascinated by the Count and his work, and he with her in turn.  It doesn’t take long for Krista to find out that Frankenstein is carrying on reanimation experiments in his basement, but that’s actually the least of the bullshit going on around here.  There are more cavemen out there, but there’re also rivalries and love triangles among the inevitable gaggle of deformed assistants, and the local villagers are angry about a spate of grave robbing and determined to run the Frankensteins out of town.  The ‘monster’ (I’m not sure it quite counts) is kind of an afterthought.

See, Hans the Butler hates Genz the Dwarf (even though it’s actually Kregan the hunchback who is fucking Hans’ wife) so he gets him fired, and Genz swears revenge on the whole Frankenstein household. Wandering in the woods, Genz meets and befriends a second caveman, naming him ‘Ook’ and teaching him how to rape women in the hopes that he will do violence to Maria Frankenstein.  Ook, however, kidnaps Krista instead.  At about the same time, Genz sneaks back into Castle Frankenstein to free the first caveman, Goliath, whom the Count has been keeping strapped to a table after bringing him back to life, and who has also fallen in love with Krista as the latter assists the Count with his work.  Goliath goes on a murderous rampage, then follows Genz back to the cave where Ook is keeping Krista.  Sure enough, this leads to a caveman-vs-caveman battle for the girl!

Man, I would love to see earlier drafts of this script, mostly because I’m dying to know whether some prior incarnation of it actually had anything to do with Mary Shelley’s book or even with previous Frankenstein movies.  I mean, it starts with the servants digging up a corpse, and ends with a torch-and-pitchfork mob destroying the Count’s creation… the beginning and end of a Frankenstein movie are present.  In between those, however, it wanders off on this bizarre tangent about the local cryptids. As it reached the screen, the only thing Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks seems to have in common with its source material is the threat to the Count’s girlfriend, which was issued by the Creature in the original story.  Technically, even the grave robbing and re-animating have nothing to do with Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus – the book never actually says how the Creature’s body was created. The idea of piecing it together from corpses originates with the Boris Karloff movie.

Let me describe some more of the stuff that goes on here, in order to give you the flavour of the experience.  For starters, Salvatore Baccaro, playing Ook the caveman, is credited as ‘Boris Lugosi’ in the opening credits.  The first time I saw this movie I snorted water up my nose when that popped on screen.

Later in the movie there’s a flashback to that first peasants-vs-caveman scene, and it answers none of the questions I listed above. Why are there cavemen in these woods? I dunno, there just are.  What did the cavemen do to piss off the locals?  I don’t know that, either… they may have been stealing livestock, I guess, but they don’t seem to have been a threat to the people until Genz taught them about rape.  Kind of makes one wonder what happened to the cavewomen, since we never meet one and these guys don’t seem to know what women are, as illustrated by Ook initially thinking their nubile young captive is going to be dinner. Also, although there are two cavemen, they don’t know each other.  Genz has to introduce them!

There’s a bit where Genz is hiding behind a clock to watch Maria and Eric have sex.  The butler comes along and chews him out for it, sends him to his room, and then he stands there and watches them for a while.

In another scene, Maria and Krista go skinny-dipping in a mineral spring, and the longer it goes on the more the dialogue sounds like it’s going to break into lesbian porn.  I am particularly fond of the exchange where Maria says, “don’t worry, this dress is designed to be easy to get out of,” and Krista, impressed, replies, “I’ll say it is!”

The subplot in which the butler’s wife is having an affair with the hunchback has no effect on the plot whatsoever.  The butler never even finds out about it.  There’s a scene in which they run off to the barn to slap each other and smooch, and then the movie forgets about it.  Astonishingly, the same is true of the corpse the servants dig up early on.  They exhume the body of a recently dead woman, Genz cops a feel and leaves some footprints at the scene so that the villagers can figure out who was responsible, and… that’s it.  She doesn’t even hang around as a gratuitous zombie like the grave-robbed girl in The Atomic Brain.

According to Wikipedia, nobody will admit to directing this movie.  Like many Italian films, the director used a pseudonym, and the cast apparently disagree on even such basics as his nationality.  Some of them think he was Spanish, but Simonetta Vitelli, who played Maria Frankenstein, insists he was an American.

At the end of the movie, Ook is the first of the cavemen to be killed, and we get to see Genz weeping over his friend’s dead body.  Then he and Krista hold each other as the mob closes in on Goliath.  This is supposed to be a tender moment but it looks a lot like Genz (who is, you must remember, around four feet tall) is enjoying his faceful of boobs.  Since all alternative love interests for Krista are now dead, maybe we’re supposed to think she ended up marrying Genz.

Finally, as Goliath’s body burns, Edmund Perdom intones, “there’s a bit of the monster in all of us, especially where there’s fear.”  I’ll drink to that, my dude.  ‘Twas beauty killed the beast.  He tampered in God’s domain.

That probably is supposed to be the movie’s point. The villagers are depicted as suspicious, fearful, and quick to violence, while the cavemen seem to have been relatively peaceful types until Genz taught them how to rape.  It’s very much the Homo sapiens who are the monsters there. Frankenstein’s servants are all assorted shades of horrible, from Genz the necrophile to the nasty cackling butler to the adulterous hunchback and cook.  Count Frankenstein himself isn’t quite so overtly evil but it’s clear that he’s not very interested in the moral dimension of his work.

Even if that’s an intentional theme rather than just a pithy closing line, I don’t think anybody thought about it very hard. The rest of Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks is too much of a mess.  There’s no real plot, no identifiable protagonist, it’s sleazy and incoherent and at times it’s horrifyingly abelist… and yet, for reasons I cannot explain, it’s weirdly entertaining.

Maybe it’s just that everything in the film is so damn ridiculous.  So much of what happens comes out of nothing and goes right back into it… a series of mind-boggling what the fuck moments that surprise the viewer over and over.  The impression is that the writers are throwing horror concepts at the screen to see what sticks, but nothing does.

Maybe it’s that this is another villain-centric piece.  You know I like those.  I guess maybe Krista is the heroine?  She seems to do the fewest horrible things over the course of the story, but she’s not a good person, either.  She’s totally into the Count’s creepy reanimation experiments, and makes only a token protest about the idea of informed consent.  Edmund Perdom’s Inspector character is one you’d expect to try and do something about these goings on, but he never does.  Maria and Eric are only in the movie so it can have a sex scene.

Whatever the reason, the result is inexplicably charming. Between the easily distracted plot, the gratuitous breasts, the bad dubbing, the complete failure to either frighten or titillate, and the fact that it tries to tie itself to a lucrative franchise it really has nothing to do with, Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks is almost the perfect example of a bad Italian horror flick from the 70’s.

[misterbitches]

hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak​ 

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough. 

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR 

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls. 

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated. 

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences.  especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks. 

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well. 

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;) 

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

[popculturebuffet]

Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Sadness

Welcome back my Scottaholics! We’re moving right along fun and fancy free just a few days later from Book 2 to 3. Which fits: As I mentioned in my review of book 1 I first encountered Scott, Ramona and Wallace in a free comic book story, and VERY intrigued, bought volumes 2 and 3 from the same comic shop after reading it in line.. or maybe I went there again later and bought them. My brain is a foggy sinkhole. Point is I was hooked from then on out, and bought the next three volumes as I came out, and through the internet because by then i’d leanred to use Amazon. Ironic given Ramona’s work for them is not only iconic to the series but plot important in volumes 1 and 2. As is Scott’s package toss in the movie. But the story of my long wait for volume 4 can wait for February. Point is it was these two and Free Scott PIlgrim are the ones I poured over again and agian, obessing over as a teen and the ones that stick in my brain the most.  But even with that last time the exaustive process of covering it exposed a LOT of volume 2′s weakness: While it has a lot of iconic scenes, including Scott accidently convincing a man to skateboard himself to death, the Ramona and Knives fight, the envy call, the flashback, and is still very enjoyable..it also feels the most like a collection of loose events out of the books. Good stuff and character and tone wise better than last time.. but not quite as narratively strong. The series was GETTING there, the art was solidfiying into it’s final form, the characters were in the right place, SCott was more likeable.. but it hadn’t quite hit it’s stride yet.  Three guesses when it did and the first two didn’t count. Infinite Sadness is one of my favorite volumes, along with 4 and 6. And while part of that is nostaliga and a personal connection.. the bulk of it is just this volume being even BETTER on the re-read. I picked up subtle bits that I didn’t notice before that only enritched the experince, the pacing is sublime, the character work is top notch and compelling, the art work is finally crystlalized into what the series is known for, and would only get even better as it goes, and the fights are some of the series best. This is one hell of a story and I warmly invite you to join me as I break it down after the break.

Previously on Scott Pilgrim: Scott defeated Lucas Lee, the second Evil Ex, met Luke Wilson, and prepared to go to his ex girlfriend’s concert despite this being a terrible idea to discuss a gig. It was there he and Ramona found out Envy’s base player Todd, the douchenozzle who she cheated on Scott with, is also the douchenozzle Ramona cheated on Lucas with. 

So we open.. exactly from that moment, with Scott and Ramona starring wide eyed while the band plays in an utterly dazzling sequence that’s been brought up a notch in the color remaster. Also one of a handful of moments that was barely touched from page to screen, with only slight adaptations to make it better on screen, and the addition of Metric’s now iconic “Black Sheep”. And when reading the scene.. I couldn’t resisit turning black sheep on as it matched it perfectly..  so yeah have the Clash at the Demonhead performance from the film

So while that worms it’s way into your head, let’s talk about the character designs for Clash Of the Demonhead, since volume 2 is the last time in the color editions O’Malley really talks about character origins and stuff. I could’ve missed something of course, we’ll see as we go won’t we. I just saved it for here as the Volume 2 review was running a bit long as is and while their shown on covers and on the back cover of the black and white edition, they don’t show up in person and in their full glory till the last panel, hence saving it for here where Envy and Todd are the main antagonists and Lynette is... plot relevant. 

Envy was based on the front woman for the band Metric, Emily Haines, designed much like hanes to be a tough, confrotnational, sexy woman, his words not mine, who’d gone through a lot of change in a few years since according to him, and i’m willing to take his word for it since I don’t know the band outside of the one song he picked for the movie, a lot of the bands songs are about that. And honeslty it makes me want to check them out more, as does how awesome black sheep is I can’t belivie I took this long, and is supremely intresting as I hadn’t realized there was a good reason there wasn’t just an original song written for clash at the demonhead. I mean if you base your character on the frontwoman for a band why NOT use one of their songs.

Speaking of band, Plumtree’s drummer, Lynette Gillis, was the inspiration for Lynette Gycott, though the final version of her is more cold and robotic and less like Gillis than initially envisioned. 

Finally Todd..was based on Scott, and while he evolved out from that a bit especially in powers.. the concept basically stuck as Todd is a stronger, dumber, more agressive and douchey version of Scott whose mistreatment of women is far more deliberate than Scott’s untetional douchebaggery. 

So after some interview segments for some sort of documentary on the band with the crowd, we cut to our heroes after the show, all standing around and being nervous. Stephen’s first words are “Decent show eh, told you they were good”. 

Admitely re-reading this one and answering a reader question, unrealted but it got me to thinking, made me realize Stephen wasn’t AS much of a dick as I thought: I didn’t think about the fact Scott and Envy’s blow up cost him their old band which was close to singing, and that Scott both as revealed in volume 3 and in bits here, was kind of a dick towards the end, intitating the breakup while drunk and belligernt and saying a facepunchingly dickish comment we’ll get to. So he wasn’t BLAMELESS and it’s understandable Stephen dosen’t hate her as much. She was friends with his horrible albatross of a girlfriend and didn’t break his heart. 

However.. he’s still an asshole and deserve jeff blim’s theatrical fuck you up there. He still ignores Scott’s pain, or the fact that most of the breakup WAS Envy’s fault as we’ll see. We’ll get into it in full obviously but for the cliffs notes so I can yell at a fictional grumpy closted canadian man: She slowly drifted away from him, treated him like he had no say in a band he helped found or took his feelings into account in the record deal, and cheated on him with Todd and possibly another guy. And as seen here she used her fame to bribe her ex and friends into showing up just so, as we see, she can torture him and his new girlfriend a bit. Envy is not a good person and Stephen is ignoring that and his friends VERY obvious emtoinal turmoil. Especially dickish since by this point Scott has clearly swallowed his pride and agreed to a show with someone who really DEEPLY hurt him for Stephen and Kim’s sake.. and he’s not even remotely greatful for it clearly. The only reason  he’s not the biggest asshole left in the building is because Todd, Envy and Julie, queen of bitches, is in there. 

So after a save point gag that goes nowhere, Envy shows up to take the group back stage... awkward, uncomfortable and very intentional silence insues to makes Scott even more sweaty and nervous and Ramona visably and understandably annoyed. Knives tries to talk to her hero but gets ignored because Envy’s a bitch.. and so’s Julie who not only joins in the shunning of a fucking teenager who clearly loves this band, but also is clearly trying to conversationally surgically attach her lips to Envy’s ass. Her toadying is obnxoious as you’d expect and as transparent as you’d expect, trying to drudge up old nostalgia while Envy’s clearly barely intrested, and the only thing that makes it more tolerable than normal Julie is Envy clearly barely tolerates this and likely is only going with it because she could be a useful minon in the future. 

Thankfully this is broken up. Unthakfully it’s by knives shouting her most iconic line: 

Given Envy is shown to not be the best person.. her response is to have her cyborg goon belt knives in the face

Which leads to an even better line seconds later

Envy then to just .. complete the circle of being a bitch has NEil take knives out then mocks her when Julie explains why knives and neil were even here. And it’s VERY telling that even Julie, who was must minutes from humping envy’s leg and begging to go with her when she leaves, is visably put off by Envy’s attitude. So while Ramona is understandably fucking done with this, as even she has some shred of sympathy for the teenager who tried to stab her a day ago, Scott has to take a minute to have a flashback. We see two brief bits of Scott with Envy, at the start of their college band Kid Chamelon where they were all happy.. and shortly after the breakup where Scott is miserable, in the middle of the street, sadly saying their name while saying “I’m so alone”.. explaning that desert bit from volume 1.. and making it ten times more painful. Nicely done Brian. 

So with Knives gone we get our usual character age intros and descriptoins, my favioritte being Stephen “wants a damn buritto dammit” which I can relate to and thankfully got it monday. He also does show a bit more of his noble self as, things have escalated to the point even he can see Envy has some sort of evil scheme planned and he walked right into it so he asks what her ulterior motive is. Julie pipes up with “She dosen’t NEED ulterior motives she was written up with in spin!”

So Envy grills Ramona a bit clearly trying to make her squirm..though at least when Julie TRIES to jump in she shoots her down, like some asshole pulling a yappy dog on it’s leash hard. Eventually Scott flips out and .. well I don’t want to overpanel this review but this is just.. quotes cannot do this justice. 

The result.. is the reveal Todd is psychic due to being a vegan and he throwing scott through a wall with telkenisis, kyle!

It’s explained he has these powers because he’s a vegan and even was top of his class at the vegan academy. Citation... needed. Not because of his power but because Todd may be one of the stupidest beings that’s ever lived. And I once had a friend whose other friend told me, since they’d be going to diffrent high schools and he was trying to pass off his mummies curse of keeping him from destroying himself with his own stupidity, tried to run into a wall to loose weight. No I don’t get how this would’ve worked but having known the guy I guarnatee he was arrogant and dumb enough at the time to try it. Nowadays I assume he’s much better... I assume. You.. you’d have to be to have survived another decade. 

Todd is also THAT kind of smug dickhead. Thankfully I haven’t met one in real life or online, as the two vegetarians I have known, one of my best friends micheal and my uncle drew, the former of whom now also eats fish and the latter of whom gave it up once he moved to places he could get meat that was raced humanely easier, but who I still respect for having that amount of self control. But Todd is a clear parody of the type of vegan and vegetarian who think their better than everyone.. by thinking he’s even BETTER than regular vegans because not every vegan can take the strain of psychic powers, with Kim naturally sniping at him.. then flipping him off when he says “don’t get snippy babe” and is very lucky he has psychic powers as otherwise he’d suddenly be wondering where his dick is and why kim’s holding a broken bottle. 

Brian also pokes fun at the old 90 percent of your brain trope. You know the old one that claims you only use 10 percent.. 

But it’s only because your only ACTIVELY using it and the rest is simply other functions. But hey we got Deathstroke out of that claim so good enough. Todd claims it’s because the other 90 percent is curds and whey. This might be the greatest use of this outdated trope in human history. No.. no.. it is. It exactly is. 

Envy brags that’s why he can’t beat him having clearly traded disappearing up her own ass  for disappearing up todd’s, Julie was also crammed up there, it was getting crowded. Envy claims to have been with todd since age 11.. which.. is more.. delusion than anything and she brushes off Ramona rightfully pointing out that’d mean he cheated on her with Ramona as Rammy trying to distract her and trying to smack talk SCott more who has another flashback. 

SOME YEARS AGO.. I DUNNO 5? 5 YEARS AGO?

We see Scott’s first meeting with Envy, who was rooming with Julie. Julie, it might shock you.. has not changed at all in 5 or so years. She’s seen bitching at her roomate Natalie V. Adams, the future Envy, for not wanting to get drunk and high and for hanging out in her room with all her anime posters and stuff. As you can tell, she’s a vastly diffrent person at this point, a nerdy interverted otaku and as you can probably guess now the flashbacks have started at the top, we’ll be seeing how she became the sexpot rockstar she is now and how that drove a wedge betwene her and Scott. Julie SHOCKINGLY does not take this well and as Stephen to kil lher if she ever becomes friends with her. I mean I would but If I could travel into fictional works I certainly woudln’t be wasting my time murdering Julie. I’d be asking kim out and trying to get into some cool video game ablities myself. I ain’t got time for that bitch. 

Next cut Julie is ... even worse as she’s calling Scott some “jerky jerky ladykiller”, pointing out he’s hooked up with recurring background characters Sandra and Monique. Now GRANTED, Scott could’ve hurt them and Julie could be right for once..  we’ve seen he has a history of being an insenstive douche by pure accident. But.. from the sounds of it given his encounters with Sandra and Monique were both in seperate ladies rooms, as in casual hookups I assume are common in universities. As long as he used a condom and dind’t lie about being in it longterm, who the hell does it hurt. Same if he and Natlie ended up being that. He’s not a “ladykiller” if he got busy on a washroom sink. He just had casual sex in an awful location and given Scott is both horny and stupid freqently, I could buy he either inittated it clumsily and sandra and or monqiue went for it, or one of them thought he was cute and wanted a quick one with him and it just never went anywhere either due to lack of intrest or Scott being kind of a moron. I don’t buy he INTENTIONALLY hurt anyone, he MIGHT of hurt Sandra she seems kind of ditzy and might’ve not realized it wans’t serious.. but it just entirely sounds like a casual, consesual one time hookup with two seperate women. And as long as he wore a condom and repsected their needs what the fuck is it Julie’s buisness. BEcause their here freinds? I mean they told her but they weren’t expecting her to play dick sheirff with scott probably. And Natlie is not her buisness: their not really friends.. she’s just trying to ruin Scott’s day.  I honestly get the sense she only hates Scott because she can’t get rid of him, Stephen won’t dump him as a friend and he fucked her friends once. Which makes me hate her MORE. Natlie/Envy however also calls bullshit and thinks Scott’s much too awkward to be a ladykiller. Accurate. I mean he’s good with women and gets dates easily, he’s just not inteitonally leaving them high and dry. He’s just not great with empathy. 

Scott snaps back to the present and gets pissed.. and we get the real reason for the outburst as he shouts “You you ass! She USED to be NICE!”. It’s very clear that Scott blames Todd for Envy’s change into an cold and cruel person. But .. that’s not on him entirely. I do think Envy’s cattier, more cruel “play with prey like a cat with a mouse” personality at this point is due to Todd feeding into her worse impulses.... but the flashbacks make clear even before she saw him again she was slowly changing as a person for better, gaining a drive and passion for music.. and for worse, shutting scott out cheating on him and generally not carring about anything but her career, especially Scott. As much as he wants to belivie it she didn’t MAGICALLY change into a bitch overnight and beating todd won’t fix that. She became what she is as a choice. Todd just made what she became worse. 

After the predictable result of Scott getting flung into the air and falling back down, he has another flashback and we see the next phase of their relationship: Scott, Envy and Stephen playing in a band for Stacey and Wallace (!), whose hair is certainly a... choice. And the two falling in love and julie grilling scott on if he and nat are a couple because why stop making me wish for a bus to hit you NOW Jules?

So we then get ANOTHER iconic line and another scene that was perfectly translated into the film

Comic gold no matter the medium.. Brandon Routh just nailed it and I watched the scene again before writing this just out of curoisty. Flawless stuff. Check it out

I will say however that while Movie!Envy’s response of just quickly covering is pretty funny.. I prefer the comic’s envy’s utterly baffled and pissed off “What are you talking about Todd?”. Even she can’t fathom what the fuck just happened. But since it’s late and Todd’s brain is pretty fried, Envy calls for everyone to get some sleep and they’ll regroup tommorow at 1pm at Honest Ed’s. Honest Ed’s WAS a famous discount Store in Canada that sadly closed in 2016, making what ‘s about to happen to it here sad in hindsight. It was known for big sales, big spectacle and i’ts larger than life owner who sadly passed a few years after this volume. But god bless him for giving this series one of it’s best settings. More on that when we get there for now FLASHBACK

Back in College, we see Nat’s change into envy as she sells all her stuff for some bitching new boots and cd’s and during sex with Scott asks him to start calling her Envy. Their still somewhat happy, as the next flashback has Scott remembering their 8 month anniversary and her playfully mocking him as the girl.. before we get a much starker one of him telling her he loved her and her not responding.. and looking at him.. more.. bored than anything. 

Back in the present our heroes try to wait out the rain under a bank thing, can relate to the times i’ve visted the city and came out to rain, and when that fails Kim says she’s off and will see them at practice and tells Stephen to blow her when he asks her if she’s going to Honest Ed’s, then seems genuinly confused if he pissed her off before heading home. Swing and a miss stevie, swing and a miss. 

Scott is hungry and sorta drags Ramona, whose not in the mood for anything, over to Pizza Pete’s a nearbye eatery. It’s there they happen to run into Other Scott... Other Scott is another guy named Scott. He dosen’t do much in the books. But the name Other Scott is objectively funny and he is objectively nice so he’s fine in my book and I applaud the movie for using him as Wallace’s love intrest. Though I wouldn’t be REMOTELY suprised if they were fucking in the books too. And of course with him is Wallace himself, who really is just.. entering this volume in the most Wallace way possible. 

A little drunk, eating some cheap but good food, with a million dollar style and in just the exact right place at the exact right time. If that’s not Wallace Wells, I don’t know what is. Wallace and Other Scott were clubbin, not a huge suprise given Wallace has his own deep and complicated social life we never see and Wallace is naturally a little bit absolutley livid when he finds out Scott went to see Envy’s show anyway despite you know, putting him in a misery coma. Who do you think has to clean you and feed you when your like that Scott? Elves? Well I mean .. Wallace MIGHT be an elf.. but he stilld soen’t want to do either of those things.  He breifly gets sidetracked by the fact that Scott is wearing his shirt.. maybe. I mean he wore it the other day but given their living situation it’s honestly hard to tell. Ramona reminds him of his priorites

That’s part of the fun of rereading these again so soon after rereading them in december: I’m noticing tons of little moments like this I didn’t really before. The two explain things, including Ramona pointing out Scott’s extra stupid around Envy. I mean it’s a bit mean to point out given this is clearly a lot for him. 

Wallace brushes it off and promises to help him train like a true pal before being prompted to talk about this new boy he picked up Mobile.. who we wont’ see in person for a while but Wallace is clearly head over heels for and begs Scott to let him have the apartment.. or more accuratley Ramona, whose clearly not in the best of moods with Scott, to take him. His sales pitch is immaculate

So she agrees and a friendship is forged based on mutual hatred and being someone’s dipping sauce bitch. I’ve forged longer lasting friendships on far less. Also Wallace forgot his keys but wisely banked on his Gladstone Gander esque luck to help him out.. seriously i’m convinced he has a lower yield version of that. Or God wants to bang him but can’t because his penis is so powerful it CAN SPLIT A MOUNTAIN IN TWAINNNNN. You make the call. 

So they sleep it off, and Scott heads home early next morning.. and forgot he gave wallace his keys. Thankfully wallace finds him, and even got him donuts for when he came back, what a guy, makes you cry and I did. He also shows off a new trick about using your chi to dust rain off you. Turns out Mobile is psyhich which.. dosen’t come into play but for vallad reasons: Scott assumes Mobile can just.. give him psyhic powers and training but a) he and Wallace JUST met and while they’ll remain together for the rest of the series, it’s a big ask to have him help train his best friend to fight a man as dumb and chisled as a mountain, and B) “It dosen’t work that way” meaning scott’s probably not psi adept and even if he can be taught, there’s not NEARLY enough time for him to get good enough at shielding himself from Telkenisis in time given Todd’s already fighting him today and has two other oppprotunites afterwords to beat his ass to death. There’s just not enough time. So scott collapses with a donut in his mouth.. are .. are we sure this isn’t just a more attractive more sucessful canadian alternate me? 

We flashback to when Wallace met Envy and since i’ts post-becoming envy, it dosen’t go well and he hates her immidetly, and expects Scott to break up with her asap.. which while  bitchy.. actually woudl’ve been a good move in the long run. And “Bitchily phrased but a good move in the long run” has apparently always been Wallace’s go-to move. 

In the present Wallace helps Scott , who thinks everything sucks, realize it does not, with the help of fresh bacon and perspective, helping him avoid thinking Envy is “back” when she’s just vistiing and somewhat forces him to admit it’s not happening again nor should it. And implicity your both with other people, you’ve moved on, stay moved on. ANOTHER Flashback, this time with Envy asking Scott how he and Wallace met after dinner with Scott’s parents. It’s the story we’ve been hinting at since.. uh last volume. 

And indeed it is somewhat gay! Behold! The origin of a friendship to piece the heavens or .. something like that. I’m tired. 

It’s a quick breezy story that honestly both explains a lot and is what you’d expect; Wallace taking an intrest, Wallace presumibly realising Scott is straight off screen but deciding fuck it I like this guy let’s be pals instead, and jjust sorta showing up at his house. But since it’s Wallace and he and Scott both love gaming.. it just stuck. And it’s easy to see why. Scott’s a bit of an introvert and Wallace is a ton of an extrovert. Wallce is nice, naturally charming and endlessly cool, and as you can see it took him probably just an afternoon to go from freaking scott out for showing up randomly, to Scott talking the guy up and clearly being the bosom buddies they are now. The two just ballance each other out well. Wallace need’s scott’s weirdness and general heart, and Scott needs Wallace to keep him from running into the brick walls of life via his own stupidity and conflict avoidance. It’s what they do, they make it a two player game. 

So later that day, and some off screen training later, presumibly to the song Two Player Game despite the fact it didn’t exist yet, our heroes (Scott, Ramona and Wallace), Villians (Envy and Todd) and other not so much evil as just cretionus assholes (Stephen and Julie) arrive. It’s also clear that Envy just made up the challenge as she went and I fucking love it, just saying they’ll run to the back, try and kill each other and no psychic powers, with Scott’s own handicap being “He isn’t a surivivor” which earns a rightful you unebleiviable bitch from wallace and a just ast rightful “fair enough” from Scott. 

Stephen wonders what the deal is and Julie’s answer is... I don’t.. I can’t unpack this. 

Meanwhile Wallace says “I hate her so much” Which I THINK was meant for Envy, but as a teen I interpited as being for Julie. Then again it being BOTH is entirely possible given no one can stand Julie for more than five mintues other than Stephen. And that’s because he’s still in the closet and hasn’t come out as bi or gay and thus sees her as a safe option or he really sucks with his taste in partners. Or a little from collumn a , a little from collumn b. So yeah Scott wants a Strategy and Wallace has.. nothing other than “Well he can’t use his powers so.. use that. I guess.. I dunno. I’m hungover” though Ramona warns he can’t go long without using them without freaking out. So gooood? I’m starting to think Kim is the most useful member in his crew for this fight.. and she’s the one who decided to nope out of it because she didn’t want to watch his ex pick him apart mentally and her muscly new boyfriend pick him apart with MIND BULLETS. Wallace isn’t really helping this go round, though he’s still a treasure, Ramona is trying but dosen’t have much, and Stephen thought bringing Julie was in any way shape or form a good idea. Which really sums up their entire relationship so it’s not surprising, it just makes me question why the two are friends at all. 

No really,  out of Scott’s three close friends.. this friendship feels the most like two guys who just used to hang out but have no real reason too other than convience. Wallace would go to bat for scott.. with an actual bat.. to Envy’s skull. He just dosen’t want to go to jail.. again. Kim pines for him, pun intended, and also does care, she just dosen’t show it because scott’s kinda a moron parade and an insenstivity brunch rolled into one. So she sticks around even though it hurts to. Stephen.. lost his big shot in part due to Scott (Though Envy’s pushness and lack of consideration for his feelings didn’t help), his shrew of a girlfriend hates him and he’s not that good at bass... and I just got it. While Tornoto’s a big city , he’s probably not sure if Kim would be doing this without Scott. He’s.. entirely still his friend because he needs a bass player and kim’s a damn fine drummer whose hard to replace. I just got it.. it makes him a self serving douchecanoe for only being someone's friend because he needs a bass player even though he doesn’t like him, but I at least GET IT now. 

 So the rush into Honest Ed’s begins and.. my god this whole sequence is sublimely redelcous. It feels like what would ACTUALLY happen if two guys fought for the reasons scott and todd are fighting: just two idiots dinking around in a discount store. Scott dosen’t even last a few seconds before shouting in response to Todd’s taunts “We are all dead”, tripping while looking for eyeware and well..

Meanwhile Todd starts to break down while shouting FATHEERRRRRRR like all good psychics. As for how long this beautiful nonsense has been going on....

Oh and if you thought it hadn’t gotten redicously hilarious enough... wait till you see what’s next. 

No words.. should’ve.. sent a poet.. got a tubby asshole who reviews comics, disney shows and disney comics instead.... 

So we then get a montage in todd’s head with his SHOCKINGLY OLD dad telling him he dosen’t have the willpower to be a vegan.. Lynette telling him she’s his for the taking and Envy will never know as she opens her shirt, and 

Gideon.. showing he not only consults the league but confriming what the audience and scott realized: He’s behind these assholes.. but it also shows how much. He’s actively coaching them.. and granted we KNEW the exes were in contact with one another given Lucas was having an understandable sigh about Matthew.. but this shows Gideon isn’t just some player and this isn’t some automated service. He brought them all together. The how ends up being hilarious, and we’ll get to that but while it was obvious he was the final boss this is a nice and terrifying bit of clarification. As for what happened next.. well Todd freaks out with his powers from not using them

Really sad in hindsight.. but still really funny despite the horrifying concidence. So yeah our hero declares victory but dind’t really when and things just kinda end. This segment went basically nowhere and acomplished nothing. .but was still really fun, with great lines and is one of the most memorable and awesome scenes in the series.  It also shows the series growth between volumes: Last volume had a lot of cool moments.. but no real plot structure, just a bunch of things that needed to happen to get here. With Volume 3.. things are VERY tightly plotted, and even a fun but kinda pointless diversion like this... still fits in perfectly, giving us a second Scott and Todd fight to build him up, showing off just HOW powerful Todd is, and fleshing out the tofu headed douche a bit. As we’ve seen this volume still has it’s little slice of life moments the series does well. their just well put into a very compelling and fast paced plot, one we’re fully invested in as we see Scott’s torment and Ramona’s mounting anger at envy’s bullshit. It helps that Envy and Todd are the second best big bads of a volume behind gideon himslef in the fimale, with Roxy close at their heels if you were curious. Envy just oozes ego and superiority and is fun to watch every time, while we see moments once in a while that show she’s still human underneath even if she acts like a goddes.. and is admitely one of my types but that’s enough of that. She provides a nice contrast to ramona, also being standofish and mysterious but wheras ramona is clearly mysterious out of shame for a past she’s not proud of Envy is out of a past.. she has no reason to flee from and was never that bad.The only part Envy kept was Todd which was an objectively bad decision. 

Todd meanwhile like all the exes as I re-realized.. is a mirror to scott. Each one has a piece of his worse traits amplified and expanded. So far Patel has been scott’s dorkyness, expanded from 

To being a giant showy hipster douche desperate to seem cool and important. Lucas is scott’s afabliity and laziness taken to just outright avoiding a fight.. not nearly as bad as the others given he still has one of Scott’s best qualities with no drawbacks.  But Todd.. is probably the ex that mirrors scott the second most. Besides both being base players with shaggy hair, both are delightfully stupid, both have a lot of charisma besides that and both are extremley good in a fight.  But noticably.. Todd zigs a lot where Scott zags and the simlarites sort of stop. While both are objectively attractive, Todd is more conventinually chisled while Scott is more adorable, expertly reflected in the movie by having former Superman Brandon Routh opposite former George Micheal, Micheal Cera.  Todd’s ablities are mental while Scott’s are entirely in martial arts and later swordplay. Todd has a rough relationship with his dad who never supported him and constnatly doubted him while Scott’s parents fully support him and love him uncdoitoinaly and despite his protests and annoyance with them.. it’s clear he still cares about them and loves them.  And most damingly.. Scott treats people like garbage sometimes.. but it’s because he’s oblivoius. He’s a finaical burden on Wallace, cheated on Knives, gave Kim no closure, blew up Stephen’s chances at the big time, and in general can be kind of a dick.. but NONE of that is intetnional. It dosen’t make it okay, the books make that clear.. but it’s why we can still root for him: It’s something that can be fixed. Scott hurts people a lot but he lacks gneuinely malicious intent. He leaves a lot of pain in his wake.. but it’s because he’s socially inept, and again and I say this as someone with atusitim myself, defintely on the spectrum , so he dosen’t GET he’s hurting people unless they tell him. Something that will probably not shock you but I relate to and has happened to me in the past, hence while i’ll clal him a douche or stupid, because he’s both, I do sympathize with the guy as the whilrwilnd of descrution is just him being so intent on being seen as a good person and moving past things he can’t see the wreckage in ihs wake, and the series is about him growing past that mindset. 

Todd.. is just an entitled dick who KNOWS he’s probably going to hurt people but does the things anyway because he thinks as a rock star he can do whatever he wants. As a Vegan he’s superior so he’s allwoed to do WHATEVER he wants. He’s so obessed with making his dad not see him as a failure he’s developed an Ego that can only be visualized properly using well.. Ego

That’s what his ego has become. He’s so up his own ass his head is coming out of his mouth somehow. He’s so in love with himself he’s probably googled “How to make a sexy clone of yourself”. He’s scott’s oblivoiusness and selfishness, but with genuine intent. He’s scott if he KNEW what he was doing was wrong.. and said fuck it anyway i’m a rockstar baby. Todd, is EASILY what scott could’ve been at envy’s side had they not broken up.. successful.. but an utter bastard who only cares about themselves.  Anyways we cut to practice that night were Stephen is spiraling and Kim declines going to the show.. not for the obvious reasons of wanting to avoid another round of “watch Envy tourture scott before Todd beats his skull in with his psychic powers”, but because she has a date. Lucky bastard. The guys are naturally as tactful as you’d expect about this and suggest she’s doing a collage or puzzles before she shuts htem down and they awkardly recover and I laugh my ass off. 

So Scott and Ramona head out, trading some talk and what have you and having some Sushi, not going there often because they can’t afford it.. but it’s cool Scott swipied Wallace’s card. When pressed on his douchebaggery Scott assures her. 

We’ll get more into this next time, but needless to say Scott’s mooching is finally becoming a plot point next time. Speaking of next time on the way to the show Ramona realizes “Wait why the hell are we doing this” and convinces Scott not to go as they can relax, have a night off, cuddle and stuff, and then Scott can fight Todd tommorow at the big show. Why DO they need to sit in with two assholes who are only inviting them to fuck with their heads some more. Well okay one asshole while Todd is okay with all this he probably just mubled some “sure whatevers” while trying to solve a rubix cube while Envy outlined her plans to him before rearanging the stickers so he could win.. I Mean with his mind so it’s sitll a little impressive but still. 

So they TRY making out, complete with being in their undies.. but it just dosen’t work as both of them keep picturing Envy’s face and that’s not good for either of them.

AND it was at this point fucking tumblr.. ate an hour’s worth of work I just did. Probably not something you need to know or care about but something that pisses me off greatly as I was approaching the end of the review and now have to either retype or entirely rethink what I JUST spent a while working hard on. 

And this time I mean it. The only reason i’m not giving up and shelving this review for a bit.. is ithat i’m a stubborn bastard who refuses to give up that easily and who needed to vent about this to somewhere. 

So Ramona finally comes clean about Todd.. and in a nice moment admits to cheating on Lucas with him “It wasn’t very nice but I wasn’t a nice person”. It’s a small thing, something I didn’t notice before.. but it’s actually a big step given how guarded Ramona is to admit to doing something this bad. Last volume, just a few days ago time wise, she lied entirely about this and probably has no idea Scott knows already. But she’s being honest, telling him the truth so he’ll be prepared for what’s coming and know the full story.  The full story is they were both little shits who raised hell together till Todd disappeared for a while. He shows up as you’d expect, dickishily interupting class before explaning Dairy Scientests kidnapped and experimented on him. He also says this

So he proves his love. in the most badass and horrifying way possible: BY MAKING ONE OF THE TWO BIG NOTICABLE CRATERS ON THE GODDAMN MOON. 

One of the series best jokes. Ramona also takes a hard pass to learning about envy and asks about Kim... not for any reason.. just thinks sh’es nice. It’s not like she wants to make out with her face.. a lot. Just.. girl things. SHUT UP. She’s also unsatisfied with Scott’s piss take version of his relationship with her.  Closing out the chapter, Knives.. has somehow climbed a huge pile of billboardsi n the middle of tornoto.. which would be awesome.. if it weren’t such a beautifully sad image. 

Whelp my heart just exploded with pain at this poor girl whose lost the love of her live, which is a goood thing mind you but dosen’t mean it dosen’t hurt less, her faviorte band and her highlights all in the span of a month.  Moving on as we approach the final act, we get a brief scene as Todd orders some Gelato, which is itallian icec ream, very not vegan and Envy does not relaize this. Todd however rants about being a rock star, being so above people and as for the rules

We also get this lovely bit

And then they make out and i’ts treated as a big shocker despite.. us.. finding that out several dozen pages ago. We know already. 

Back at Scott and Wallace’s place, Ramona shows up with cool new blue hairdoo, which I agree with Wallace is awesome and admits she changes her hair up every couple of weeks.. someething that in the color version we do see better. We also get a gag that no longer makes sense as he asks if that’s her natural haircolor and she says yay and the caption admits this was funnier in black and white. Eh one or two jokes for some really pretty colors is a fair enough trade. 

Scott however once again bitches about his hair, despite Ramona pointing out to him and Wallace that.. there’s like dozens of haircut places within walking distance. I remain unsuprised thier that oblivous. But to shut her boyfriend up she agrees to cut his hair and while they do asks what Envy’s actual name is.. scott’s response .. is pretty heartbreaking “Natalie. She stopped liking it. Then she stopped liking me.  So Scott shows up with his NEW HAIR CUT.. aka his old one just trimmed up a bit, but the one you see in modern merch and the game. A bit shaggy but not as long. Scott reassures Stephen whose spiraling with panic that it won’t be the same as last time and they’ll have fun. Kim, understandably and having not been told anything, wonders what “last time was”. After everyone chimes in Kid chamelon i’ts time for another FLASHBACK.. as you were probably expecting by now.. but this time I added some proper effects to spice it up. 

So we find out more of whta drove a wedge between the two: Envy slowly but surely took a tryanical death grip on the band, adding some guy named Joel on the drums, possibly the same guy from Crash and the Boys, and bumping Scott to bass, without asking him or Stephen about this and just sorta.. demanding it. While her intetnions are understandable, she just wants the band’s best sound.. her actions are still head tiltingly obnoxious, and clearly show she had not studied rock history yet as usually taking absolute control of the band and ignoring your band mates is the easiet way to destroy a band. Sometimes it’s just envy, pun unintneded but welcome, but yeah.. it’s no wonder they didn’t last. Scott is also shown to be more and more uncomfortable with the band going from a fun thing he did with his friend and girlfriend.. to something that could make him famous.. something he’s very transparently not ready for and dosen’t want.  And it makes sense: he was just a dumb college kid in love.. he didn’t start the band for fame or glory.. he just wanted to have fun. Same with his current band. And while in the PRESENT his lack of ambition can be obnoxious and will be a problem in the next volume, here.. he’s still in college and sudeenly got thrust into a career he dosen’t want with a person who no longer loves or respects him. It’s understandable that he’s a nervous , miserable wreck. 

So in the present, Stephen is throwing up and asking for julie and Scott.. is a dick and ignores him. Were it anyone else and any other relationship currrently int he books I would actually give a shit. So he wonders around a bit, running into some teens who are intrested in him, word travels fast apparently, Julie, who for once displays a human emotion of concern for Stephen or the closest she can, and thankfully Wallace, Stacey and Micheal,who now has a spooky skeleton ring from the future and badly needs his own spinoff. Stacey TRIES to pump her brother up.. but it’s clear he’s in no good mental place for that and trudges off while Wallace, man of the year, worries about him.  One GOOD THING about the astronomical setback that happened is in the orignal draft of this.. I forgot to talk about Stacey. Despite promising to. So here it goes: After this Stacey.. just sorta vanishes from the series. She’s still around and while not super promient gets a decent amount of screentime in the finale, she makes cameos before then. But from this book on she’s no longer a main character like she was in the first two books. There she had several scenes, lots of focus, and her own mini arc in the first one about Wallace stealing her boyfriends. There’s. an actual reason for this as O’Malley regretted naming her after his sister and thus basically stopped writing her unless he had to, sticking her in once in a while to assure fans he hadn’t forgotten her but removing her from the main plot.  That being said while his reason is weak.. I dn’t think it’s the ONLY reason she slid into the background. The main cast already had 6 characters, and on top of that this volume heavily focuses on Envy, the next adds Lisa Miller to the mix, and every volume frmo this one on has increased focus on the ex of the week, building them up more as characters and giving them way more screen time. Stacey.. really didn’t have a unique niche or roll in the sotry the other 5 non-scott leads didn’t: Knives filled out the position as the baby of Scott’s friend group, Ramona and Wallace served as better voices of reason, Kim and Wallace had better chemistry with Ramona and thus worked better as her friends, and Stpehn. did nothing she did but still at least had a part to play as band leader and the only one of Sex Bomb-Omb with ambition. Stacey is not a bd character and DID deserve to still be  way more prominent.. but her move to the back let Kim take her place and rightfully so. And not just because of the crush on kim thing, Kim’s just more compelling and tha’ts an objective fact. Still would’ve been nice to learn more about Stacey though. 

Scott then frees his girlfriend from a conversatoin with Sandra and Monique, as Julie bitchily told both about Gideon which Envy told her about, because as your every couple of paragraphs reminder, Julie is a piece of shit. Scott then orders them some alchols, breaking his usual teetotling and runs into kim, hollie and joseph. with Hollie here to see the band and .. Joseph here to see todd. At least h’es honest.. for this volume. Anyways, our happy couple soon split off for a bit and while we bounce back and forth.. i’m just going to cover what hapepned with each seperately as SOMEHOW tumblr once again ate a good hour’s worth of work, this review is already a day late, and I have both abother one and a dental apointment today. So in short

Ramona and Kim: Kim fills Ramona in on her past.. via  tone down, seemingly contridctary, and as we’ll find out later the true version of what happened: She was with Simon, he was a dick, Scott showed up he was also a dick, things happened. I guess. Ramona is disapointed, though Kim does provide some crucial info on her moving to tronto.. and reuniting with scott. 

It honestly.. explains a LOT of why Scott is the way he is what happened with Envy. He saw Envy change entirley as a person.. and thus feels changing as a person , and smoking, is a sign of something bad.. when really it just means.. your changing. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst but we area LWAYS changing and it took me a lont time to realize that. The two are distracted from this though by Todd sloppily making out with Lynette in front of everyone. 

We’re also reintroduced to Crash and the Boys, now redubbed the boys and crash, and seemingly playing music without intsturments. The thorughly lovely and rediculous explinaton for this and their new gloves and goggles, i’ll save for in a bit. 

Scott and Envy, Scott and Knives: Scott goes out to get some air.. only to find Envy, who despite menally tourturing him for a few days insits they talk like regular people.. Scott wisely counters with “Nat when did we ever talk like real people” and while saying he won’t get to call her that again, it still chips down her walls for a second and shows that a bit of who she used to be, loath as she is to admit it, is still there. 

Scott then spots knives... and has a moment of truth. And a hell of a series of reaction panels

It’s a VERY good scene.. that i’ve written about TWICE now but regardless, it shows Scott.. genuinely changing. Ignoring his past actions, running away from them and trying to pretend he never fucked up once... that’s been his go to. It’s his main flaw and hte one that takes the entire series to deal with as we’ll get into. And it’s here.. he faces it for the first time. He’s scared of knives at first.. but realizes.. he genuinely hurt her, and she’s where she is, cold, alone, and huddled in an ally lost and confused, because of him. Sure Envy hurt her.. but so did he.. and what’s worse. he did it just like Envy hurt him. Not thinking of her as a persona nd throwing her away when he didn’t need her. And so after books of build up.. he finally takes some responisblity and talks to her. It’s WHY the books work: Sure scott’s a dick, and remains a bit of one throughout, but.. he means well, isn’t inteitonally a standoffish prick, and slowly grows PAST this, and tries to be better, for Ramona.. and just because it’s the right thing to do. 

So Knives reflects on the past few weeks, admitting that it’s been unbearably painful.. but she can’t and won’t go back to who she used to be. She’s lost her innocnce and all that, been dumped by the “love of her life”, been punched in the face by her faviorite drummer and treated like dogshit by her faviorite artist. Todd did nothing for once but gets no credit because of who we’re dealing with here. Point is.. it was a lot and while sh’es not HAPPY.. she’s greatful for it. Scott however.. steps up, saying what Envy did was wrong, she deserved better.. and finally, after how terribly he broke up wit hher.. apologizes for how he hurt her. And while Knives takes this as hope they’l get back together, Scott continues to be very mature, especially for his usual behavior, telling her no, it won’t happen, to give neil a try as whle she is dating him because he looks like Scott he’s not all bad, and that wallce was right: she was too good for him. And while Knives isn’t ready to accept it.. Scott did the right thing. Good for you man. 

So while he, and later kim and stephen seperatly, get ready, Ramona.. runs into Envy. Whose oddly nice for ahlf a second.. before bringing up Gideon and giving Ramona a barrage of insults, clearly trying ONCE AGAIN, to knock her down and wreck her. Thing is while Scott clearlya nd understandably has baggage with Envy is easy prey for her manipulative elephant dung, Ramona. isn’t. All Envy’s done is piss her off more and more with each act of high school level mean girl bullshit... and sh’es done with it. 

FIGHT’S ON. This Volume.. is honestly where Ramona really comes into bloom, pun intended, as the duetragonist of the books. While the book IS about Scott getting his life together and their relationship and he’s still her hero.. the books are also about RAMONA growing as a person, her own flaws and past, and the climax of all of them.. is just as much about her as it is scott. And this book has her own flaws come into play: Just like Scott she runs from the past, from who she was, and only faces it when needed, which will become more apparent as we go. But at the same time, we get to see far more of her personality as a result as her mysterious facade continues to drop. She’s prone to getting upset, but also clever and witty and knows her limits, knowing that going to that second performance would’ve just done no good and knowing herself very well, something Scott has genuine trouble with. She’s strong, sarcastic and knows who she is and what she wants and this volume finally brings that into focus. Not only that but her fight with Envy, is just as warranted, climatic and awesome as Scott’s fight coming up, as no one has stood up to envy due to her fame.. but Ramona.. dosen’t care. Someone’s gotta stop her, and Ramona’s taking up the job. And the awesome looking hammer. 

That being said taking up a giant hammer against a beloved celebrity dosen’t win you any point, so Ramona finds herself discouraged, even if Envy can very clearly handle herself. Thankfully she gets some encouragment from exactly who you’d expect. 

And Wallce.. turns out to be pretty useful. At least in this one fight. His shouting not only gives Ramona her fight back.. but keeps distracting envy, leaving her wide open. The tide turns though when Wallace has to pee, and Envy uses the distraction to knock the hamme rout of Raona’s hand and prepare to flatten her. But once again.. someone save sher in the knick of time.. and this time it’s the LAST person you’d expect, as Knives gives the hammer a flying kick.. and then crashes into a wall, and when Ramona, understandably not getting this since she tried to turn her into swiss cheese earlier this week, asks why, Knives admit’s she just wants Scott to be happy. Knives has grown too, and while she’s still obessed with Scott and waiting for themt o break up.. she’s no longer going to try and wedge her way in. If Ramona is what Scott wants, tha’ts what he gets. 

All three are distracted by well.. this...

State of your outfits mates. Though that line is iconic. But serously the outfits are hilaroiusly and reaslitically mismatched. Kim’s home made and overdone gothica lolita outfit that dosen’t match her AT ALL, goth yes , poofy goth no. Stephen’s johnny cash outfit he clearly had lying around and Scott’s Dad Suit. 

That being said.. still the best looking one of the three. But Envy takes advantage to regrab the hammer and try and murder the two of them.. but Scott sees this.. and well... you get it by now, one more time. Bake me away toys!

So we get the final weeks or days or whatever of the relationship. In a nice parallel to Scott playing Ramona a song he does the same for Envy.. who both questions what this is for then is confused why he’d do something so sweet. Next scene is her getting a call while their cuddling in bed from some guy she idntiefies as Jason and.. barely disguises is clearly cheating on Scott with. and could possibly be todd I dunno.  After that we get to Kid Chamelon preparing to sign a deal and Envy.. trying to press Scott into sginging it, ignoring his obvious discomfort, and then casually threanting to replace him. While Scott does give us a face punchingly dickish comment about “How he started this band to meet chicks and maybe he met the wrong chick”... he’s still somehow in the right as while he’s being a manic dickhead... Envy has ceased seeing him as a person or even something she cares about and tells him to get a hair cut and leave. 

We then get the breakup itself as Scott goes up to envy.. and she tells him to get out of her life. ack in the present, Scott’s grown enough to realize he has to stop her and does so.. by touching hte back of her knee which.. uhhhh.

So yeah.. he beat her with an orgasm, and that looks oddly hot. And i’m moving on before that last part of the sentence sinks in. Envy, once she recovers, orders Todd to do a murder on them, but Todd’s not there and Ramona, naturally, brags about him having cheated on her. Envy.. denis.. this. 

I .. don’t have time to unpack that. This review is late, I have two other reviews to get to today. Time for ANOTHER flashback. 

This time it’s Envy teling a story bok verion of her and Toddd’s relationship. It’s a real poetic and well done sequence. In a nuthsell: Envy and Todd were best friends and deeply in love as kids until todd moved away i’m guessing sometime in middle school. Deeply depressed, Envy sailed through life as sort of a ghost, TRYING to find another connection like that, but failing. Todd returned after she graduated though, and gave her a symbol of his love.. a hole on the moon. Yes another one. And they both promised to never waiver as he went off to the vegan academy. Clearly Envy did with Scott... but it paints her ambition in another light. One where she wanted to be big and bold enough for him.. but slowly carved out her old self to do so. 

And as is obvious it was pointlness: not only did Envy love someone else.. but Todd never cared as much as she did. As Ramona points out, and relcutnantly because even she feels a little bad about this one, he did the moon trick with her.. and this time Envy CAN’T deny it.. becaue the evidence is right there. 

And of course Todd.. makes his case even WORSE by picking that moment to come out of the bathroom, sipping up his pants, with panties on his head, and with Lynette following right after him. Envy.. tries to murder Lynette, her go to, but LYnette teleports out. Because she can do that. Though Envy does hit her cyborg arm so she looes that and the panties and Ramona offers to mount it at her place if Kim takes the panties, but kim admits she wasn’t scrapbooking, she said she was and was just making the dress. Horay, as ramona puts it “Col se can still be friends. Right.. FRIENDS. 

Envy TRIES to cave Todd’s skull in, get some therapy woman, but Todd naturally tk’s it away but despite being the king of all assholes DOES care enough not to fight her. Envy... plays nice then knees him in the nuts like he fucking deserves. Todd then returns to being the once and future douchebag by TK’ing her into the crowd and bragging about it. 

Scott dosen’t take this well, even after everything and the final fight begins. They have a bass fight.. but like the game i’ts redicuously one sided since Todd both is a skilled bassist compared to Scott.. and is still using his psychic powers lest you forget he’s a bastard man. 

The Boys and Crash however show up to even the odds.. and their trainig is the reason they can play music without insturments as they can now manipulate pur sound. Fucking beautiful. But even they aren’t enough and Todd swats them aside. 

While poorly is a bit harsh.. the vegan police show up, which is awesome, though the movie got thomas jane for one of them and had that high five so they win. But yeah.. while this is hilarous.. and the scene with them is great.. it’s also the weakest part of an otherwise near perfect book. It just feels a bit anti clmatic that after all this build up.. Todd is just.. beaten with a sloppy depower. The boys and crash would’ve still been a cop out, but it would’ve been a freaking cool cop out.  The thing that saves it is afterwords Scott still gets an epic finish: after they devganize him for the gelato earlier, scott headbutts him epicly and wins. He gets money and. 

A 1-up, which understandibly terrfies him but will come in hand in a few volumes. Trust me. Scot checks on everyone. Ramona’s fine, Envy is not and breifly blames scott before he points out Todd was a no good cheating dickwad, and Kim is obviously fine as nothing happend, but him asking is a nice bit of charcter growth. Kim asks about kinves but she’s okay and neil is helping her. But theshow must go on and since the headliners are dead (don’t worry he’ll respawn), in parts unknown and in emotoinal apocalypse, someone’s gotta play.

So our heroes have the show of their lives, and crowd reaction is mostly positive with Jospeh noticing htier levels were horrible, a hint for next time, and the crew interviewing everyone.. including a mysterous gentleman having a beer, who has no commenta nd walks away. 

 Gideon.. was here the whole time,but he’s not ready for Scott JUST yet. Still a really damn cool tease for the final boss. 

So we close the next day, Scott and Envy sorta make up, with both apologizing for their behavor and while Scott gets no closure, envy promises to return.. and makes good on it. But.. that’s for the finale. For now Scott’s girlfriend and best buddy give him a moment to baste in his pathos, before heading off. And in a nice bit of metaphor, the clouds part, and our three amigos walk off into the sunset and a bright future. Three down 4 to go.  Next time: Lesbian Artist Ninjas! Side Stories! Scott Gets A Job! The Band gets a producer! Kim gets a decent apartment and a boyfriend! Lisa returns! See you in feburary. 

Until then if you liked this review, spread it around andi f ther’es a comic you want me to cover, my comissions are open. Until the next rainbow, it was a pleasure. 

[demoanais]

usual warning applies, keep scrolling if you don't like negativity 🙃🙃🙃

I watched e3 and it was nothing but glorified fanfic. I don't know how many times I have to learn with m/arvel but they literally cannot do anything right.

When they kept hyping sharon as a totally different person, a 'grown-up' now my flags went up but I stupidly decided to be charitable.

It's one thing to expand on the already solid character foundations from the films and explore how they are affected by the changes around them.

It's another thing to throw the baby out with the bathwater and basically reinvent a character as if you're overeager to mollify every brainless anti grievance you've heard since EVC was cast. I very much feel like this was the sharon written to appease the people who hated her instead of reward the people who didn't dismiss her all those years.

I completely expected sharon being cold to sam and bucky, I also understand and expect sharon's anger and bitterness. I'd love for that to be explored and meaningfully empathized with and I was excited to see it... but not in this needlessly clumsy way.

I don't understand why she's a shady hustling art dealer, why they're suggesting she enjoys this kind of lifestyle despite the fact that she lost everything dear to her, why her abrasiveness to sam and bucky had a weird personal edge to it (it's as though she's barred from outright complaining about steve so they just channelled all her spite to them, like they're the ones that deeply betrayed her or something) then gets hand waved away. If it's that serious of an emotional wound it needs that much more script to address...which we are obviously not going to get.

Watching the episode I almost feel like sharon regrets doing what she did in CACW...even though she took the initiative to rescue sam and bucky again in madripoor, unprompted. Like she's concluded that helping steve wasn't worth it, and somehow blames sam and bucky for the consequences of that (right) decision. Normally I'd see that kind of character turn in a villain origin story, not to a hero going through a dark period.

Add to that the absence of women writers and I get the sense that because sharon isn't technically occupying an 'eye candy' female role, they over course-corrected her into 'one of the guys' and deemphasized her more, for lack of better term, feminine qualities. As (genuine) sharon fans have consistently made clear, it was never her character that was at fault, but the lack of care and respect from behind the camera.

Maybe it's just my taste but I don't find pseudo-antagonism charming, and the whole exchange between the four of them at sharon's place just had this dour mood about it. Again, I expect awkwardness and distance but it was just... unpleasant and unfun. Not to mention the fact that she randomly exits the scene for no reason.

The funny thing to me is the elephant in the room of *why* she was abandoned. Sam offers her a pardon like it's a bag of chips, if it was always that easy or plausible why the fuck did no one attempt before? We all know it's because of the russos, but the show can't acknowledge that...yet they bring up this issue and highlight the nonsense of it all because they refuse to spell out that canonically no one gives a fuck about sharon.

You could argue that they have 3 episodes left with which to have sharon become sam and bucky's 'rock,' but you'd be reaching. It's extremely clear to me now that there is no 'new cap trio' (the tertiary role handed to zemo instead), that sharon will not meet sam's family or see his home, that she will not bond with either of them over their shared traumas, that she won't come to care about them nor they about her in any substantive way. Her loneliness and isolation is just played off as some kind of necessary level up.

When I watch any m/arvel property I expect bad writing and weak character relationships. But because this show had the benefit of some distance from the greater m/cu, I thought we could get away with some genuine friendship and warmth in true comic fashion. It's clear that sharon is far more inconsequential to the greater plot and that she will magically appear and disappear as required. I can't even enjoy EVC's stunt work because the context leaves such a bad taste in my mouth (her killing like 20 guys in cold blood....cool but sam and bucky didn't even care or acknowledge the danger, it was almost goofy).

My personal prediction: e3 was the last time she interacts with sam and bucky in person (the casualness with which she removes herself from their orbit and thus from relevance in the convertible scene...lol), she's absent from e4, she aids the mission on her own in a separate location in e5, sam grants her pardon over text in e6 where she wears her blue power suit and vanishes early while sam and bucky celebrate their victory without her.

[madd-information]

I saw your advice of dipping one's toe to another anon...I unfortunately didn't do that & now I'm confused is it good or bad? A lot of the information is scary...for someone whose thinking spirals I started fearing I would develop every mental illness mentioned.

The thing is I've never considered my daydreaming weird or freaky till the internet.

My mdding hasn't stopped my life yet. I have one of my dream jobs & degree. I literally used to daydream & create story boards for this job as a little girl.

At this stage I still know how to shutdown & study. & I have to be an active listener & take notes & read material beforehand. I even put dense documents in word document & play "read aloud" while also reading, it keeps me focused.

It's hard but I can. I've always known I have to work harder for decent or great marks & my ambition & Faith has mostly driven me to put in that extra work. But I always thought that all the hard work I do is due to my lack of concentration I've never focused on the idea that my daydreams were to developed or taking over my life or at least attempting to. My cousins & my mom used to make fun of the fact that at night before sleeping I would just stare in the distance (daydreaming) until I fell asleep or that I would just be smiling randomly at times.

I am working on being more social so i can get friends etc. I honestly think that my lack of social skills has more to do with my personality than my mdding. I like being alone. I hate trying to fill awkward silences & I'm extremely shy. My sister is my current best friend cause she loves me no matter what.

Cause people tend to bully me in real life. The last time I had friends I loved was at age 10 (I miss them so much) & I'm in my 20s now. I feel like women become meaner the older we get. Ive tried making friends at work but people were abusive in different ways. But I'm actively going to work on getting friends this year. I've decided to push myself to join group things (I just need to find things that are safe during covid times). I watched a video of one of my fav youtubers & she said she zooms with her friends at least once a week. So that is my aim to find friends to zoom with once a week with.

Basically my question is, is mdding bad or good?

How do you know it's good or bad? It's just weird to me that when I was younger people encouraged things like imaginary friends so many TV shows had kids with imaginary friends etc. But now my imagination is bad & means I'm ill. I'm genuinely confused.

I never had an imaginary friend as a kid & thought I was weird for that but I had stories which I would write down or tell my sister. As I grew older I kept them to myself I thought of writing them down but grew to lazy. I should've cause I think I had at least one gem. My mdding now has become stale and is about my ideal husband, my future goals career wise, my dream home & dinner parties. On occasion & quite recently though I've been daydreaming about being the new Tarantino. So I've decided to join a writer's club in my area they are waiting for covid to slow down before restarting for 2021. I dont know if that would fulfill my mdding of writing a stellar film & debuting in Cannes. But hey it's worth a try. 😀

But I'm excited to join the writing group.

I've taken up painting during quarantine cause I daydreamed about being a painter. I have a year to get good.

I tried surfing cause a movie I watched made me daydream about my dream guy being a surfer. I need a few more swimming lessons to take up that daydream 😂

Besides Tarantino, I've also daydreamed I was a musician so obviously I'm looking for affordable guitar lessons & vocal lessons. I live in a small town but I'll find something. 😀 whether or not that would fulfill my desire to record an album & daydreaming about a tour I dont know.

Also daydreaming makes exercise bearable. I could probably be more productive & study while exercising but I prefer daydreaming while exercising it helps me forget the pain.

I just hate when my mdding sneaks up on me at work. But I then have to use my meditation tools focusing on being present. Headspace has a great series on Netflix. I can daydream all day if I have no work, school, church or not around others. Otherwise if I am doing any of that I need to be present & that's my goal for 2021.

This is weird. Definitely pathetic. Probably a sign of an unfulfilled life? But is it bad?

Anonymous said:

Also another weird thing I do is I imagine my fav podcasts as dinner parties where I can give input cause I'm extremely opinionated. I like the different personalities on the podcast & wish they were my friends.

“Basically my question is, is mdding bad or good?”

MD is inherently negative in some way.  The daydreaming itself isn’t the bad thing, but our relationship with it.  I tend to explain it as akin to a food addiction.  Food is good and it is needed for us to live as functional human beings, like daydreaming it is a normal part of life which cannot just be ‘quit’.  But our relationship with food can become disordered and lead us to unhealthy behaviour and negative outcomes. Knowing if your relationship has tipped into the realm of unhealthy is the tricky part, and is negotiable to an extent, like how we can indulge in junk food regularly and still consider ourselves healthy and happy with our habits.

This line is different for everyone and there’s no real this-is-exactly-when-it-becomes-bad answer. The best we can do is make an honest evaluation of our lives, speak about it to a therapist if possible, and make our best determination.  

Here are some papers you can read to give you a better understanding of MD.  And here are some measures which might give you an idea about where you stand.  (note: these are measures meant for clinical use and were not intended for self diagnosis, they are provided to give you an understanding of what MD might look like)

[shijiujun]

The Lost Tomb Reboot Season 2 Episodes 1-8 - Recap & Review

MAJOR SPOILERS below the cut!!! DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS!!! (I’m tagging #chongqispoilers if you wanna block it for the next three weeks heh)

But first I would like everyone to know that Xiao Bai has been sworn sibling-zoned as fourth sister to Big Brother Xiao Ge, Second Brother Pang Zi and Third Brother Wu Xie (Ep 3/4)

And also secondly, WU XIE GETS HIS OWN TEAM?!! AND THEY ALL HANDSOME MEN!!! INCLUDING THAT DOCTOR!!! So it’s apparently the antagonistic frenemy doctor from Season 1 (like actual S1, not Reunion S1), and damn he damn frickin handsome in this one okay guys?!!! Like I AM IN LOVE!!! AND HE FIRSTLY SAVES WU XIE, THEN TAKES CARE OF WU XIE SO WELL EVEN THOUGH HE KEEPS CURSING WU XIE TO DIE SOON LMAO (Ep 8)

So yes I’m telling all of you guys how much I frickin love that doctor - I am absolutely in LOVE <333 He’s so capable?! And he talks about Xiao Ge and Er Shu with so much familiarity? He totally like takes charge with a critical eye, no nonsense, just starts commanding people. Hates Wu Xie but then doesn’t wake him up when they arrive at their destination so he can sleep more because HE BE DYING SOON? AND THEN PATS WU XIE TO TELL HIM NOT TO BE RASH when Wu Xie wants to rush to help, and then offers to go in his stead without another word (EVEN THO HE HATES HIM?!!) 

A NEW SHIP HAS BEEN BORN FOR ME OKAY?!!! I’M SORRY PINGXIE RIGHT NOW I SHIP DOCTOR/XIE TOO!!!

And yes I binge-watched all eight episodes today and damn too much shit happened!!!

Eps 1-2:

OKAY THE DEATH ZONE AREA in Warehouse 11 finished up way faster than I thought it would to be honest, and it’s a little anti-climactic but that’s okay, but anyway it’s hilarious that there are two people still living in Si Dang Qu to guide Wu Xie and Xiao Bai, and okay CREEP FACTOR IS UP OKAY!!! Wow damn it so many tentacles?!!!

Anyway, Wu Xie and Xiao Bai are not supposed to go into Si Dang Qu but they do it anyway, Xiao Bai gets electrocuted and then some, and they meet two weird people in Si Dang Qu, and also the funniest thing is that there is WIFI IN THIS GOD-FORSAKEN DEEP HOLE (IT’S TWO DEEP HOLES BY THE WAY) and these two people are just like hello guys, we live here, let me point you to where there’s wifi.

And then they both seem to make it out just fine even though San Shu was stuck there for like more than three years, and boom these two make it out in less than 24 hours - Wu Xie gets fired, Xiao Bai is suspended, Jia Ke Zi (they guy with the good hearing back in Warehouse 11, also VERY HANDSOME) and Li Jia Le were also fired because they were working with the bad Supervisor Ding from Reunion Season 1, and then!!!

I think the most touching part is every single warehouse person like sending him off standing in the surveillance room in the dark, watching as he walks out? I mean, not discounting the people who are genuinely like “DAMN YES, CAN WE GO BACK TO OUR NORMAL LIVES NOW TYVM”, I just felt really touched that they all feel enough for Wu Xie and he’s actually made some impact on their lives or smth, so much so that they’re willing to watch him go off

Eps 3-6:

Okay so Xue Wu Ye, the bad guy, big brother number five, is plotting something, but that’s for later. Wu Xie heads home, and starts researching again - they decide to go back to the place where they found Yang Da Guang’s body to find more clues. In between, he meets up with Xiao Bai for dinner, they get drunk, Pang Zi turns up to pick em up but gets drunk too, then they all swear to be siblings with kebabs, like literally, in place of joss sticks. It’s all filmed by the shop owners. Xiao Bai is crying because NO DAMN SHE WANNA BE WU XIE WIFEY, NOT WU XIE FOURTH SISTER

And anw at the place, they find another map and Wu Xie gets electrocuted and faints, and then they manage to call Er Shu who’s about to head into a cave with Xiao Ge and everyone else - They do a video call, and damn it’s so cute to see Wu Xie and Pang Zi going “XIAO GE XIAO GE WE’RE HERE!!!” And then they go in, but they meet a trap, Xiao Ge and Hei Xia Zi are trapped and considered dead, and Er Shu is in trouble. Kan Jian manages to call Wu Xie and then Wu Xie gets him to tap out morse code message, and sure enough, XIAO GE AND HEI XIA ZI ARE ALIVE. But Xiao Ge says there’s a mole, and so they all pretend they’re dead, then Kan Jian and Jing Shu promise Wu Xie they’ll get Er Shu out, and Kan Jian sends Wu Xie coordinates to their location and then he goes MIA

At the same time, Xue Wu Ye has found out about Er Shu’s predicament (or was part of it) and his role is to basically snatch over the Wu family’s business. I’m not going to go into details, but anyway Wu Xie and Pang Zi are like bullied really badly by them, but good news is Piao Piao, Pang Zi’s gf, finally realizes he’s the one who helped her daughter out and then they affirm their feelings for each other. However, Piao Piao decides to still be undercover at Xue Wu Ye’s place - unfortunately, he finds out and as she’s fleeing, a truck hits her and she dies FUCK THIS SHIT.

Then Wu Xie nearly dies AGAIN, AND THAT’S WHEN THEY MEET HANDSOME FRENEMY DOCTOR!!! WHO REFUSES TO SAVE HIM FIRST, BUT THEN DOES!!!

Eps 7-8:

AT THE SAME TIME TOO, the mute girl, who’s Hei Xia Zi’s potential girlfriend, is captured by big bad Boss Jiao but she can talk now. And then he kills her too apparently!!! WHICH IS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK CAN WE PLS DON’T KILL ALL THE WOMEN IN THIS STORY?!! But her death isn’t super confirmed, because she falls but no body, no confirmed death in this show, damn it. Unfortunately, Piao Piao is legit ;-; and Pang Zi and Wu Xie only find out way later because Xue Wu Ye hid it from them that motherfucker!!!

Anyway, Xue Wu Ye’s plan is to basically take over the Wu family’s business and to prevent Wu Xie from gathering resources and a team to go and save Er Shu - so Wu Xie’s goal is to get money, defeat Xue Wu Ye and go find Er Shu.

Wu Xie schemes and then he manages to defeat Xue Wu Ye for good, and Xiao Bai goes to find Jia Ke Zi (omg who’s so sad, because while he was away, his wife cheated on him?!! and won’t let him return to his home?!!) and Li Jia Le is getting cheated out of daily salary working at a construction place, when Xiao Bai finds them for the job.

THEN THE TEAM ASSEMBLES!!!! Xiao Bai turns up with the two guys, and then FRENEMY DOCTOR TURNS UP TO MAKE SURE WU XIE DOESN’T DIE ON THE WAY!!! And he’s really fricking handy, and like I said above while Wu Xie is sleeping in the car, he makes sure no one disturbs him. The rest of the team survey the place and then he’s like, “Guys, what’s the use of hiring and bringing y’all if Wu Xie has to do everything himself? We’ll split up.”

And leaves Wu Xie sleeping in the car I WEEP!!!!

=======

Thoughts on this:

Not gonna lie, the front parts in Warehouse 11 are a bit like... illogical to me and done too quickly, but I guess it doesn’t always have to make sense. I’m still quite sad Piao Piao died?!! And that mute girl might be dead?!!! I can’t wait for the reunion which seems to be coming up soon, but I AM REALLY, SO HAPPY THAT WU XIE HAS A TEAM OF HIS OWN DAMN IT. 

Also really worried about Er Shu and the identity of the mole, HOPING IT’S NOT LIU SANG OR JING SHU OR KAN JIAN PLS!!!!

So far the Wu Xie Fainting Count is - 2 in 8 episodes.

There are 2 more eps each for Monday and Tuesday, cannot wait for FOUND FAMILY VIBES DAMN IT!!! THEY BETTER NOT BREAK UP MY FAMILY!!! 

And srsly I hope handsome doctors survives because... I really like him HAHAHA

[sailorquinn]

『 hunter schafer. twenty one. trans girl. she/her. 』 oh heavens, is that SAILOR QUINN from MAIN STREET i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them - GREEDY & - IMPULSIVE. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool WAITRESS AT SUNRISE DINER AND LOCAL PSYCHIC and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been + WARM & + QUICK WITTED. i hope i see them around again! 『 pepper. twenty four. est. she/her. 』

ABOUT THE MUN. the 2000 claymation film chicken run radicalized me hi, hey, hello, everyone my name is pepper and i am at work 😔 but i am also currently slacking off from work to write this 🤠 we love to see it. the duality of man. a bit about me is that i would lay my life down for hunter schafer !!! i am so excited to finally play her this has been my dream since i laid eyes on her,,, that and to take her hand in marriage but i digress. fun fact number 2, i have just started skins at my big age and i hate tony with a passion!!! i’ll fight that little punk i swear !!! fun fact number three, i have an irrational fear of humanoid beings with gills, looking at you sharkboy !! thanks for traumatizing me as a kid buddy, someone had to do it !! this fear also includes the deep from the boys, that weird fish guy that that one lady banged in that oscar nominated movie, and gill from kim possible. all of these fish men all my living nightmares, thank you for coming to my ted talk 😌 (honestlee,,, why is this such a common trope in media. who started this,,,why do they hate me). and finally, the most important thing you need to know about me, is that as a child i thot that god looked like king trident from the little mermaid. i think we can all relate to that, right? right. okay moving onto the love of my life, ms. sailor quinn.  

BIO. winks with my third eye 

everyone in mapleview knows about the quinns. the family has been here probably nearly as long as the town has and is pretty well known for their eccentrics. let’s just say the quinns were definitely, understandably, some of the first women in the history of mapleview to be accused of as being witches, an act of which they made the good ol’ mapleview history books for. this is a fact that sailor often looks back on with pride. honestly, it was one of the only things that made going to history class worth it, because despite how painfully boring the class was in general, sailor could never get tired of the startled looks of her classmates whenever her ancestry was brought up.

nowadays the quinns are arguably living a less exciting life than the good old days of being accused of sorcery. instead, they’re psychics. fortune tellers, if you will. you can find their family shop on main street, and if you’re ever feeling particularly divinely inspired you can stop by for a reading and a few charms or some crystals (they also offer sagings and exorcisms) . the third eye has actually become a bit of a tourist attraction actually, well, as much of a tourist attraction as you could find in mapleview, due to the actions of sailor’s mother. 

to put it simply, sailor’s mother had plans bigger than mapleview could offer. around the time the she was eighteen she left the town for hollywood. now, you would think based in this information that venus quinn had big plans of being on the big screen maybe. or that perhaps she had the voice of an angel and wanted to sing on the radio. you would be wrong. 

sailor’s mother became a reality tv show psychic. as you can guess, the psychic community loves her. that is, if love involved a myriad of curses being put on you and maybe a bit of voodoo. okay, she’s universally despised by psychics pretty much everywhere. i think it’s to be expected. 

sailor was born into this legacy. as you can guess, it was a pretty heavy cross to bear. she was born into a b-list fame that meant her mother had to call her own paparazzi, that sailor herself simply had to be homeschooled to avoid the ‘mobbing’ of perhaps fifteen avid fans max, and that every morning in their grand living room her mother would let her hate mail fuel their fireplace. sailor would occasionally have her face plastered on tlc, or her voice would be heard as her mother made a ‘heartwarming call to her family at home whilst on tour’ but to put it bluntly, sailor was more of a prop in her mother’s fame than anything else. and it was bargain shop fame at best. but apparently still enough scrutiny that her mother felt the need to take her out of the public eye when she came out and began to transition. 

sailor came out to her mother at the age of nine and before she could even reach the age of ten, her mother had shipped her halfway across the country to mapleview to comfortably transition in a town of strangers and in a household of people she’d only ever met at argument fueled holiday parties. her mother swore up and down that this was to make sure that sailor could transition outside of public scrutiny, so that she could have her privacy in this time and not have to deal with the media hounding her down during such a vulnerable period but sailor couldn’t help but feel abandoned by the whole situation. it felt like her mother was hiding her away, like some sort of dirty little secret. it felt like she was ashamed of her, even if the woman swore up and down that she accepted sailor as she was.

sailor moved into the top of the third eye with her her aunts and grandmother and was welcomed into this clan of women with open arms. as mentioned earlier, most of sailor’s experience with her aunts and grandmother has been brief exchanges between her aunts screaming at her mother for being a sell out, her mother hollering back about them not supporting her, and her grandmother pretending to cast a curse on her mother from the head of the dining room table. you know. normal family gatherings, but not enough for you to truly get to know somebody. but it is within the quinn women’s household that sailor finally found her footing. she finally felt like she belonged. her aunts and gram taught her everything they knew and nurtured her lovingly throughout her transition. they gave her her first job working front desk at the third eye, made the place she felt like her mother abandoned her feel more like home than her mother’s place ever had. and she is painfully loyal to them for it. when her mother finally reached out to sailor at the age of sixteen, finally inviting her back home, sailor simply refused. and she’s been here in mapleview ever since.

a few years ago sailor’s mother moved back to mapleview to attempt to repair their relationship. to put it frankly, her views were plummeting quickly, and along with feeling some amount of remorse for her deteriorating relationship with her daughter she also thought that perhaps making her show a mother daughter act would bring some of the attention back to it. sailor has pretty much refused to speak to her, but she lives around sycamore way in a large house on a hill. 

despite sailor having no plans to break into the reality tv business, she really has no idea what she would like to do instead. she is currently content to just continue working at her family shop, and occasionally take up a few of the shifts at the diner as well. she likes money, and she certainly has ambitions to make more, the how is simply up in the air at the moment. honestly, life would be a lot simpler if she could see her own future. 

or well, anyone’s at all. 

HEADCANNONS.  are you a virgin? why are you planning a sacrifice?

 this is the song that inspired sailor, no i cannot explain why. 

sailor’s mother name is venus (vee), her aunts name is persephone (percy), her other aunts name is circe (cece) and finally her grandmother’s name is luna. both her aunts are unmarried and her grandmother is widowed. 

that said, sailor does have a father despite the fact that i didn’t once mention him djsdjk he is an artist and he loves her mother to death honestly. their relationship is almost completely based off of the relationship of cassie’s parents from skins, so yeah they can’t keep their hands off each other and sailor’s father kenneth often paints her mother nude. most of these paintings could be seen on display in her old household, so sailor really did just grow up seeing her mother butt ass naked every day. sometimes it be like that i suppose. 

sailor has three black cats. she calls them the muses and their names are calliope, clio, and urania. basically, whenever there is a black cat at the pound sailor makes it her mission to them home because the stigma against black cats that keeps them from getting adopted?? wack. sailor will adopt everyone of them. 

is currently still living above her family shop is kind of interested in finding an apartment to move into instead. is in the market for a roomie or like three!! all interested parties please apply. 

is actually kinda a con artist. honestly, her whole family kinda is but shh, don’t tell nsdkjsdjk none of them can actually see the future but aunt percy (who says she can see the future, but honestly while sailor does believe her aunt percy is also a bit loony so sdjhsdj who knows what the truth is?) and her grandmother. cece, vee, and sailor tho?? all faking it until they make it. honestly sailor is pretty good about it, although she doesn’t actively see the future she does believe in everything she practices for the most part, and it shows. that says, since she is frankly, a magpie when it comes to money and literally anything mildly expensive she will offer rich people tarot readings without any hesitation and proceed to make the whole thing up as she goes along. if sailor judges them to be bad people (aka rude, the kinda people who don’t tip, snooty, assholes) she will give them a horrible reading to instill the fear of god in them and charge them extra for some good luck charms to ward off their impending doom. but if she likes them she will read the cards as they are and do her best to give them good advice based on her gut. her only saving grace is that she has pretty good intuition anyways, so a lot of what she says tends to be right even if it’s just shots in the dark. (her aunt cece is worse though, she looks up all her clients online before they come to see her dskjdsjk all of her predictions are educated guesses based on her research)

the type to crush and crush hard. falls in love every other week, and gets her heart broken just as often. honestly, sailor tends to fall for anyone who is nice to her, or gives her attention, or whose attention she wants. she is constantly on tinder mostly for fun. tends to treat the app more like a game than anything else, goes out on one night stands a hookups at least ??? 3 times a week. will make cast a love spell for the guy who told her to stay dry when she left the grocery store or the girl who smiled at her on the bus. 

cannot drive but has a license. if you see sailor behind the wheel, duck. she drives a cute little sky blue bug though. it has eyelashes on the headlights. 

colours her hair whenever she is even mildly stressed. by default at the moment it’s a pretty silvery blonde, so she tends to colour the ends often depending on her mood. 

actually can sing unlike her mother, you can probably catch her at any open mic nights in town. she has a little guitar that she’s covered in flower stickers and named aphrodite.

that little frowny face florence pugh was making throughout the entirety of midsommar,,, unhappy sailor content. thank you for coming to my ted talk. 

the type to go to church and pretend to be overcome by the holy spirit just because she’s bored on a sunday sdkjsdj 

your girl is vegan and bisexual, we love to see it. 

PERSONALITY. feeling cute today. might commit acts of hubris

CHEEKY. 99.9% of the time sailor is joking. she is the type to generally tend to be in a cheerful mood no matter what, always laughing or making a dry joke. doesn’t tend to often be in a bad mood but when she is it says something. very witty honestly, tends to be quite funny and the type to go out of her way to make someone laugh

GREEDY. sailor loves money. she absolutely adores it. she’s kind of a magpie when it comes to material things, the type to go to antique stores and thrift stores and clear them out of absolutely anything that interests her. a shameless pickpocket and minor thief, but only when it comes to large corporations or people who look like they have a summer house stashed away somewhere. definitely snatched some sort of expensive little statue from her moms place the last time she went to visit a la fleabag. is probably still looking for some place to sell it online, but honestly also kinda wants to keep it. she’s named her no head nancy and she is currently sitting on sailors desk as a paperweight 

WARM. all faults aside, if you ever need something from somebody sailor is the one to go to. need a ride home from the club? sailor will come and get you in ten minutes. feeling sick? sailor will be over at your place with some vegan chicken noodle soup and a charm for good health. need someone to cheer you up? sailor is doing a chicken dance on your front porch. she is ultimately kind, and if you are her friend especially she will be there for you until death. 

IMPULSIVE. that said sailor does pretty much everything she does without thinking. she is actually, surprisingly enough, a bit of a planner when it comes to life and finances, like she is pretty organized considering how scattered her personality is otherwise. but if sailor gets a whim to go somewhere or do something out of nowhere, she will do it. commitments be damned. the type to suddenly get up and leave mapleview one day to live in hawaii for a year and learn to scuba dive yk. will send you postcards tho. 

this is my first time playing sailor so if this is a mess and contradictory it’s because i am too 😌 thank you for coming to my ted talk.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. god doesnt respond why should i

EXES. give. me. ANGST with this please. the more dramatic the better. it’s been a hot minute since i had a good ex connection so maybe something where they dated in high school or even more recently. where they’re trying to be on good terms but some angsty feels linger below the surface, or where they’re on really bad terms and can’t hide it. the kind of exes who keep going back to each other, or who can’t leave each other alone, jealousy, and all that good stuff yk 

BEST FRIENDS. pls. i would love for sailor to have like four or five of these honestly, just a little squad. these could be here roommates!! or not!! i plan on putting in a wc for her roommates honestly, so look forward to that. 

REGULAR CUSTOMER. someone who sailor is either milking dry or is just trying to reassure. she comes to their place in the middle of the night to sage the place because they swear they heard a ghost. they have a urgent skype call because they broke a mirror and want sailor to go over their future one more time to see how it’s been affected. sailor makes a lot of money off of them and either feels guilty about it or not even a little bit guilty about it depending on their relationship. 

OTHER REGULAR CUSTOMER. this is someone who sailor regularly serves at the diner. rip to them because she is horrible at it. they find sailors order taking pencil in their soup. sailor is constantly getting their order wrong. sometimes she sits down with them and steals their fries as she talks their ear off. sailor is honestly probably too comfortable with them considering how bad she is at her job, but she definitely considers them friends. 

A CRUSH. open to ladies, theydies, and gents! someone who sailor has a big ol’ dumb crush on. this is the person that sailor thinks of whenever she does a love reading, the person who she gazes at longingly whenever she sees them. she also probably talks their ear off whenever they see each other. big heart eyes atm, but sailor knows it probably won’t last more than a month. right?

EX-CRUSHES. that makes me think omg, i’d love to have some people sailor used to have a crush on. people she had a crush on in high school. people she had a crush on last year. just people she used to be obsessed with who she is completely over now sdkjdsjk maybe they’re friends now and sailor doesn’t know what she saw in them in the first place. maybe they’re enemies omg 

OPPOSITES ATTRACT. i’d like someone really grounded to be friends with sailor. like just someone with their shit together who isn’t as airy and whimsical as her. sailor makes them loosen up a bit, and they make sure sailor doesn’t end up dead. it’s a balance. 

i think that’s all i can think of for now but honestly i’d also love to see a bully sailor used to have a s child, someone who thinks psychics and astrology and everything is bs just so sailor can like !!! debate with them about it yk, someone who’s a fan of her moms show, someone who maybe comes to sailors open mic nights religiously, a neighbor maybe like just the person who lives above the shop beside the third eye and sees these women baying at the moon during the summer solstice and is like ??? fuck i gotta move, previous one night stands, fwb, ewb, uh someone who bonds with sailor over occult stuff???

[ladyofriverrun]

I am always in two minds about The Witches. 

On the one hand, the portrayal of it in the original film with Angelica Houston is a classic and enjoyable, and this new version with Anne Hathaway and Octavia Spencer looks to be a classic and enjoyable in a whole new way, and it is a children’s book and a children’s film and it’s hardly the first to portray witches as the evil to be defeated (though as I’ve said in my other posts, all that comes from tales created by the church centuries upon centuries ago in order to justify demonisation and murder of women, often those who had knowledge that challenged theirs and/or money and lands they wanted to take for themselves).

What always tempers any enjoyment I might have of The Witches is the fact that alongside saying witches are evil, and thus setting in young, impressionable minds, that idea, it’s the fact that it’s only women. There are no male witches in this tale. It’s all women. And they look normal, thus implying that any woman you see could be one of these child-hating evil witches, implying that evil is inherent in women. Negating to include male witches in the book, implies men cannot be inherently evil....unlike women, who all have in them the potential to be these toeless, bald, evil child-killing witches. 

It’s not just a negative impression against witches, it’s against women in general. And the whole implication that women have this innateness for evil and men don’t, goes back to the abrahamic propaganda again with eve was the first sinner and lilith was made of slime and sludge and everything bad; i.e women are naturally inclined to be evil and horrid and sinful. 

Like, I said I enjoyed the film as a child, and this one looks fun, and even though I don’t like it, I accept that older tales tend to have the witches as the bad guys, but it’s the implication of women in general being the issue (as let’s not forget, all the witches at this connection are actually women in power, thus demonising the idea of women with authority and power and money. The more successful a woman is, the more likely she is to be an evil witch. Whereas the grandmother, who isn’t rich, and is poor and, in the original, from a small Swedish village, is good and pure. But then she’s not a woman in power, she’s at home, looking after her grandson, fulfilling the good, female role)

So, in conclusion, yes, it looks good, but I just find myself wishing that when people decide to adapt books these days, they should try and shake up the idea of women equals evil, and witches equals evil. I mean the Angelic Houston version did decide to add a ‘good witch’ at the end that changes him back, so maybe they’ll do something along that lines in this one. But the original book...definitely has a blanket subliminal message of all women have the potential for evil, while men do not. 

[greatchaosgentlemen]

I think that its great to enjoy the characters and the stories that are told within the Skamverse. Discovered the OG in 2017 and was like whoah this shit is really  cool. Coming from the UK we already had the tales of Skins (great show check it out for British teenage life) but Skam is like life Monday-Friday and then Skins is more like the intense crazy weekend experience. Sorry if no one gets that analogy.

But basically I just think sure it is fine to comment on the shows and say what your liking and what you most definitely don't. It’s all art and I feel like we should all expect and accept that. But just don't stress out too much guys, sometimes I see so much anger and like i don't know if you guys are actually that angry irl but I don't know i hope not because that shit must be so bad. Skamverse is great but hey remember that these are just fictional characters and we shouldn't be loosing ourselves to them and forget to live our own lives. and of course some versions are better than others with their storytelling, acting, cinematography, score, representation etc. and some are just cringy af. Don't know if that to do with translations (shoutout to all the translators out there, Skam is one big reason that I've gotten in other language films and tv, you all do such an amazing job so thanks). But i just want to say I hope that we all remember that we can be the change and work towards creating the right dialogue in which any tom, dick and harry can feel happy and discover an art form (film, tv, book, poem etc) where they feel represented. 

just basically im just like saying A LOT MORE RESPECT NEEDS TO BE GIVEN PARTICUARLY TO THE ACTORS because some of y’all are T-H-I-R-S-T-Y and it ain’t cute. and like there's a difference being critiquing and being annoyed or being angry and expressing that normally; whereas some of you are just really dam rude to people. 

basically i think we all should just be happy that such a good show exists, and take all the positive and negatives that come from living at such a time where the Skamverse exists ( albeit this time is weird because CORONA !!!! Hope that everyone is safe and is practicing social distancing. We will eventually defeat this). We are all so talented and no matter what I want to reinforce that belief that truly you are loved no matter what your race, skin colour, sexuality, belief in religion, whether you forgot when your uni assignment was due and thought you had a weekend but actually it was due on the Friday so you had to spend 12 hours in the library (whoops just me ?!), thoughts on climate change (im just saying that to be inclusive because the science is there and if you don't believe that well im sorry your being ridiculous and i think you should be concerned about mother nature and that we should be fighting the 1% who truly control everything, your academic prowess and a million more things that frankly i can't be bothered to write down but the intention is there

and heck if you want to vent your frustrations just let them out of course because they shouldn't be bottled in, in my opinion. go and talk to someone irl and say how ridiculous you think this thing is that you think happen. or if you don't feel like you have one then hell message me because i LOVE to talk and in particular at this point in the world i got all the time in the world. personally i also like making my own retellings and writings of the Skam stories where i make it better (hahah ;)) and if you want to do that then heck do that and ill be more than happy to read it 

basically those are just some thoughts i had and because my fingers are beginning to hurt im just going to list what im feeling about the shows 

sidenote - i think capitalism sucks and that money and views have to be taken into account by companies etc because i really think all of the four og stories should just be told automatically by all versions. let them stories and actors shine babyyyy

skam usa - bro like being a fellow english speaker yours is the one i can follow obviously the easiest so why are you just so kinda i don't know different and blah. is skam really just an european thing ? i don't know but i think an argument could be made 

skam og - nei vilde. what a ride and what a vibe. your basically iron man and have spewed the Skamverse. in my opinion great actors and great stories, in particular for me my first introduction to someone who follows Islam. also your soundtrack is smashing. though who is perfect ya know and obviously would have loved for you to have continue up to graduation 

skam france - oooo la la la. i do like the french language so its cool to help me learn and stuff but i really feel like you guys have got hit with a lot of bts drama and rules and order so i just don't know. your original seasons i don't know yet. still its only a story so i mean it is what it is. but like also people around this cast need to be a hella more respective of the actors *sips tea*

skam espana- hola amigos. you the edgy one that got everyone on their toes. I like that and i tip my hat to you. just i don't know sometimes i feel it sometimes i don't. shout out for so far being the only wlw representation (don't know if that's the right acronym, so please don't hate me. but i hope that women found some positives there) and with norando i like totally get it with the story told there but still i love to love and just like sad to miss out on the on screen growth of the relationship but still its cool

skam italia - ciao bella - some of you is hot some of you is not. i think the story is good but i don't know i just want more italian flavour. still thats from a foreigner view and in fact maybe it is very italian. hopefully your season 4 will be good, exciting with all this Netflix additions ooooo 

druck - danke- you cool bro just going powering on through. like your a bit of juggernaut really and im like whoah. actually do like a lot of your vibe and stylistic choices. its tres cool. also very exciting about this new season etc that has broken, really vibing a possible skins similarity with the set up. fingers crossed 

skam nl - eskild you crossover legend - ticking all my boxes just so sad for your premature closure. didn't know much about netherlands so cool to experience language and culture. maybe you'll come back to the skamverse again like Hawkeye as he buggered off for first of infinity war. sending you good vibes 

wtfock- yes yes yes. not going to lie so far you are my favourite.overall good vibes and everything. hopefully its good vibes and the proper belgian kids like it. just good stuff and so innovative to discuss lockdown and everything. exciting times and exciting for season 4 when it drops 

basically all of this came from one beer so yolo, still out here living my best life and one day hoping that the UK gets a Skam version. so many ideas so many possibilities

and like if ive offended anyone then i am sorry wasn't my intention. just writing down my thoughts and im sure you will get over it because were all amazing. Just keep it chill and honestly like i wont give any negative stuff the time of day anyway so don't waste your time heheh *sips tea* 

also most importantly i am very sorry for my grammar and punctuation and everything. honestly i am just being lazy and cannot be bothered to go over and rectify it. also sorry for making a very confusing message that probably really doesn't make sense at all. haha 

still alt er love everyone 

*renegades away from the computer*

[ladybender]

I just watched beast with a billion backs for the first time and i was just wondering if there's any general fandom opinion on why fry was so quick to jump into other relationships and forget about leela right from the start of it?

i’m so sorry i’m only responding to this ask now… i was crafting the perfect response for days, because this topic rocks and i have so much to say, and then life got weird, and then i forgot… but now I’m here nonny, and this ask will get ANSWERED

Let me just start by saying, I have one solid hot take for this movie, but it wasn’t first formulated by me, but by my very fav fic author The Sophisticated Shut In, a longish time ago. i’m putting it together again from scratch and memory, so maybe now it belongs to a mix of the both of us? idk. It was her big brain that shock me into belief tho so she should get credit too. That said, let’s start!

So! a month had passed between BBS and BWABB. during this time Fry and Leela most likely didn’t talk much. Leela was mourning the death of Lars and she needed time to sort out all of her emotions (MANY of which are related to Fry). So, she does what most would do when things change drastically and you feel unbalanced, you wish for things to go momentarily “back to normal” just to have some stability and time to think.

But! if Fry and Leela have a weakness, is that they are so terrible at communicating. so while Leela’s seemingly pretending everything that happened actually never happened, Fry doesn’t understand why Leela is leaving him out of her life and is not talking to him. 

I’m gonna take a big step back here. after the opera, Fry most likely left it up to Leela to decide what she wanted to do with their relationship. the opera itself is the last big grand gesture Fry made in the show. after that, he thought he has done everything he could, and pretty successfully told Leela what he felt in a way she understood. So he stood still, giving Leela the chance to step forward. I’m never sure what really happens here, but they must have lost the moment somehow, because Fry's waiting for Leela to make a move and tell him how she feels, and Leela's waiting for fry to maybe prove that he meant it (don’t hate on her, she is basically going the equivalent of “but do you like me, like me?” in this moment and tbh i relate to that level of deep insecurity so much). The result on this: they got stuck.

Now, idk if that gap between TDHAIP and BBS really was 3 years long, that’s a bit to much imo, but if it really was it would make sense (in a sad, frustrating way) why Leela all but jumped into Lars’s arms, and Fry made those drastic and dramatic decisions like, in this order: leaving the future, staying in the past, leaving the past, pretending to be someone else for years, catfishing Leela, not telling anyone he’s dying and instead lying some more, “i’ll only tell the truth in the form of a video-confession at my own funeral” (I mean, I love the guy, but he made some questionable choices. i can understand everything and cry forever if you think it has been 3 + 12 + 2ish years total since he wrote the opera for Leela with no response).

Now, back to BWABB. Leela in ignoring Fry, with all the best intention in the world, but *surprise*, it turns out that it wasn’t a wise move (who would have thought!!), because now Fry is acting out of the ordinary and it confuses Leela more. and instead of saying "calm down mayhaps, i don’t hate you you big baby, i just need to think”, she goes ahead and only indulges him when they are with the others, playing along with the ‘everything is fine’ facade, but when it’s just the two of them and he needs her help (as a friend), she shuts down or lashes out at him. I mean look at this shit

She is outright telling him to leave!!! red flag

Fry, on his end, doesn’t really know what Leela is going through (bc talking? I don’t know her), so if you look at it in his POV it’s pretty depressing. Leela was about to marry Lars, the man she said she loved and was the only one for her, he thought that meant things would change between them now. But as it turns out, things were just the same after. until they turned worse than ever.

Just think about Fry and Leela most representative quote: “you are lonely and I am lonely, but together we are lonely together.” This is not true anymore in this movie. For the first time they are lonely apart. And really, their themes are all about that. For Leela it’s isolation, specifically. She is constantly isolating herself (at Amy’s wedding, for example. Or how she’s the only one not to “love the tentacle” AND to not want to go to heaven and be with Yivo. The only one. In the entire universe. immovable object).

As a contrast, Fry’s loneliness is unbarable to him, and is expressed in this constant and desperate need to have something that will return his love (this is where both his relationships with Colleen and Yivo fit. unstoppable force lmao)

Not but really, Fry’s relationships are so rushed, and clearly just an attempts to push his loneliness in a corner. Fry even put up with an open relationship (something he visibly didn’t want) to stay with Colleen. he was pretty desperate. This relationship with her is also a regression for fry - the way he didn’t want to break up with Colleen resembles a lot Michelle. but that isn’t even the worst of the two because then you look at Yivo, and I cannot even begin to laugh at how big of a Leela mirror shklim is (but I’ll get to that later). All I have to say about Yivo and Fry’s relationship is contained in this quote:

Fry says “it loves me” before he says “i love it”. That kinda says it all.

And finally let’s talk about mirror and color coding bc I thrive for that shit!!

So I think I can safely say Fry is represented by orange and Leela is represented by purple. nothing new under the sun. and those colors play a major role in this movie!! And they are about as subtle as you might think lmao

First let’s take a look at Colleen:

She is literally always wearing purple??? (only when she is in her cop uniform she isn’t). And if you think that’s not enough to prove my point look at this

I KNOW,, what the hell, right?!!

the animator coloring this, probably: “just a little bit of purple to show Fry is trying to get over Leela and failing big time *drops whole palette of purple into the frame* WOOPSY”

PLUS (and here comes the most subtle but BLATANT thing this movie has done so far) look at what Fry sees in the montage after he and Colleen break up

Fry just sees generic couples being happy and kissing!! No colleen resembling anything! Fry is not missing her, he’s missing something else 👀👀👀. all the women in this are wearing purple…. the guy making out with his psychiatrist is one of Leela’s ex-lovers……… the two characters fighting and then making up are orange and purple…..??? I JUST DON’T KNOW WHO COULD IT BE!

and this is not even touching the whole Yivo business. Can I talk about Yivo , I’ve been dying to talk about Yivo with you all day! One eye,? check. purple? check. tentacles??? Check. fry finding shklim after wondering alone in a strange new world, and the lonely monster will help him feel less alone??! CHECK!

I know the movies are weird in a shippy pov (took me so long to understand what the fuck was going on in Bender’s Game from a freela prospective, and i dont even know for sure if i have it right lmao) but the movies make a lot more sense if you look at them as Leela realizing her own feelings for Fry in BBS, and the next three films as her dealing with that until finally!!!!

[wackygoofball]

Moodboard: Jaime x Brienne - Erin Brockovich AU

To send this ahead... I know that Brienne’s character is much different from that of Erin in the movie, but by giving some over to Jaime and twisting and shredding things, I found it a very intriguing plot bunny! :D

Brienne doesn’t have it easy lately. Just recently she had to move into a new, shabby house on the outer outskirt of King’s Landing. She can no longer afford her old apartment in King’s Landing after she was fired from her secretary job because she had to take off to take care for her foster children Arya and Sansa and the boss showed little understanding for a single parent taking care of two traumatized girls. And now she stands there with bills to pay and no one willing to hire her.

Sometimes she really wished Catelyn had chosen any other person to take care of her girls in case of her demise, but as things stand, there was no other way. Bran and Rickon are with Osha and Luwin whereas Jon could not possibly take care of his siblings as he was drafted for service at the Wall. Brienne wants to honor that vow since Cat helped her a great deal in the past, but she feels all the more like failing as she cannot provide for the girls what they would deserve after the losses they had to suffer: their parents, oldest brother, his wife, and their home in Winterfell.

However, Brienne won’t let this stop her, so she goes through advertisements and calls any office offering jobs in the hope to find something new. She applies for a job as a secretary in Tyrion Lannister’s law firm, a small thing that mostly runs itself as far as she can judge. Brienne is little impressed when she meets the boss, because Tyrion Lannister does not strike her as a passionate lawyer. Instead, he spends his time looking after women to check them out and drink from his flask hidden under the table.

Brienne applies not as “Brienne of Tarth” but “Brienne of Morne,” her mother’s maiden name. She would rather not, but whenever she applied for jobs she was linked to her father’s ruined company and her failure to ever become a top lawyer due to personal choices she made in the past. She applied for jobs in law firms as a lawyer again and again because she went to the best schools, had excellent grades, but her past continues to haunt her. She is either overqualified, they tell her, or she doesn't have enough courtroom experience, or they think she is a failure because her father's firm went downhill without her being able to stop it. Thus, she writes applications below her profile, leaves out most of her personal past and just hopes to finally get a steady job to provide for Sansa and Arya. She is desperate.

Tyrion is hesitant at first, arguing that he normally looks for "prettier" secretaries, but he has to give in eventually because Brienne won't budge and proves that she can do the job better than any of the other applicants.   Sansa and Arya give her trouble too, Arya gets into fights at school whereas Sansa won’t stick to Brienne’s rules, stay out late and leave her guessing to where the girl is headed.

So no, things are not easy on Brienne, but she won’t let that wear her down as she, at the very least, finally got a job at the law firm to cover the costs. She works her ass off at the office until she stumbles over what seems to be a small case involving selling property to a big chemical industry called The Alchemists' Guild, a business that focused on wildfire and its derivatives. They want to buy properties close to their plant on the outskirt of King's Landing, in a very poor area not that different from the one where Brienne now lives with her girls.

Brienne asks Tyrion if she can look into the case, after all, she can tell something is odd with the numbers due to her experiences she did not list for her application. He handwaves her proposal, much more concerned with his pretty new “intern” Shae.

Fueled by her wish to finally do something close to her past in the law, Brienne heads down the dusty roads to meet the people The Alchemists' Guild wants to purchase the properties from. While most won’t speak to her at first as Brienne doesn't think she has it in her to make people listen to her, the young woman is surprised when people start to tell their stories. Sooner rather than later, they trust her because she listens to them and gives them the facts rather than what they call “lawyer talk”. Brienne continues to gather information, doing what she is accustomed to as a former lawyer: she talks to experts, puts together evidence, and essentially starts to build a case she has any intention to present to Tyrion once she made certain that she is onto something.  

Back home, things don't look as bright, however. Her nanny quits on a whim, leaving Brienne with no one to pick up the girls, make them dinner and the like until she gets home. It gets so bad that one day, the woman she hired to look after Sansa and Arya just doesn't show up and leaves the girls to walk home all by themselves. She is in a panic until she finds them with the recently moved-in and to her mind totally annoying one-handed biker-wannabe Jaime. He has barbecue with them and particularly Arya seems to like the guy who insists on only being referred to by his first name. Ever since he said he took fencing lessons in his youth and would have no trouble teaching her the basics, the girl is sold on the wannabe-biker. Jaime and she thus suggest to Brienne that she should hire him as the new nanny.

Brienne doesn’t know what to do with all this because a man looking like this, acting like this, making lewd comments all the while supposedly being good with teenage girls? How does that fit? The two eventually agree that he gets a shot at taking care of the girls in exchange for a bit of extra money. Jaime says he can use it because with just one hand, working on the construction sites became difficult and the gigs are scarcer around this season.

And so, a truce is born.

Brienne continues her investigation and puts in all of her efforts as she grows increasingly aware of the sheer importance this case has to the people involved. She starts to piece together that the The Alchemists' Guild tries to cover up literal dirty business, relating to people around the area getting sick in large numbers and their usage of wildfire. Brienne suspects a pattern behind this and figures that there must be a connection between the water supply for the town and the plant.

Thus, Brienne wants to request the records to obtain copies. However, the lady sitting at the front desk of the archive won’t let her in. Brienne suspects that she is in cahoots together with The Alchemists' Guild. Brienne fails to charm her way into the archives, that’s never been her strong suit, which is why she heads back to the house feeling like an utter failure.

Back home, she sees that Sansa and Arya really take a liking to Jaime, who runs the house just fine, if a bit unconventionally. When Jaime sees Brienne drag herself into the house, looking like someone just took her favorite medieval sword fighting film away, he wants to know what's wrong with her. She won’t admit at first, after all, Brienne hates to show weakness, but Jaime won’t budge and continues to poke her for information until she gives in and admits that she failed today.

“The downsides of being as ugly as a mare: I can't charm my way into the archive,” Brienne sighs.

“You can be charming in your own way if you try.”

“Shut up. And anyway, it's a lady.”

“Doesn't mean you could not put on a flirty face. Maybe she's looking for a bit of an adventure after all. I don’t judge.”

She rolls her eyes. “I never should have told you.”

“Fine, fine, I stop. I stop,” he laughs. “But I may have a solution.”

“Which is?”

Jaime points at himself with a smug grin. “Me.”

“You are the solution how? No offense, but you don't inspire... confidence in your legal status, shall I say?” Brienne scoffs.

“You said it. It's about flirting. And I am really good at that.”

“Are you? I did not notice.”

“Because I have no intention of flirting with you. I am your employee after all. If you properly compensate me, though, I can do expand my services, only just for you, wench.”

“Compensate you.”

“Well, you will have to give me a bit of a starter to set things up. For that, you get all the copies you want so desperately.”

“You are supposed to take care of Sansa and Arya. That’s what the truce is about, remember?”

“And they will be gone for a whole week for that school trip, remember?”

“... I forgot.” Brienne grimaces. It rubs her in the wrong way that Jaime already handles things so well that she finds herself forgetting things she wouldn’t have, but the job consumes so much of her time that she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

“Thought so,” Jaime chuckles. “So I got nothing to do anyway. Give me fifty stags and I will get you those copies tomorrow after we dropped the girls off. Deal?”

“... What's the worst that can happen, huh?”

Brienne is to find out the next day, remaining rather irritated by Jaime’s cryptic messages who says he will meet her outside the archive and that she is supposed to wait for the “big show.” She doesn't know what to expect until a very suave looking Jaime walks up to her, dressed in nice clothes, his hair in a neat bun, beard trimmed, stump securely hidden away in his fancy jacket, looking nothing like the biker she got to know and yelled at the first time she met him.

Jaime is having his dear fun at Brienne’s ogling at him before proceeding inside and charming the lady into giving him access to the archives. Jaime pretends to be an “intern” working for some “nasty lady” who only ever treats him badly.

“She yells at me and only ever bosses me around. Can you imagine?”

“Oh, trust me, I can.”

Brienne is bound to wait until Jaime re-emerges with the promised copies, looking like he just won the lottery. Brienne almost feels tempted to hug him, but just almost. Jaime is feeling pretty ecstatic at her blushing and evidently checking him out. He tells Brienne she can request his services again any time she needs it.

“Though next time, you may have to take me out for dinner afterwards.”

“… We’ll have to see about that.”

Brienne finally feels a bit vindication when she comes to the office, ready to present her findings to Tyrion, but that hope is instantly crushed when she finds her desk cleaned, stuffed into a box, and the other employees looking at her with nothing but misgiving. When she demands to know what is going on, Tyrion calls her to his office to inform her that he can’t keep a secretary who doesn’t come to work, seemingly having forgotten that she told him she wanted to investigate this case, and to top it all, he does not appreciate that she lied about her identity. He reveals to her that he did some research on his own and figured out that she is actually the “infamous” Brienne of Tarth.

Brienne is enraged because he dug through her past without her consent, looking at what she tried to bury, all of that pain that cost her so very much, not just the family company, not just her reputation as a lawyer, but also her father who died shortly after he had to file for bankruptcy due to business partners making bad investments on his behalf. She storms out of the building, furious but also desperate because she just lost her source of income.

Back home, Jaime is fixing things around the house to the best of his abilities. Brienne loses her cool a last because she can't afford to pay him anymore, she can't do anything right.

“Everything I touch, it just breaks apart.”

She confesses to Jaime at last what went on in her past, tells him all about her father’s failing business, how her father didn’t involve her in the business until it was too late because he wanted to give her the freedom to follow her personal mission of defending those people in court who couldn’t defend themselves. She tells Jaime all about her father’s death, and how that left her with massive debts to pay, but despite her experience and education, she was forced into taking small jobs, hide herself, because she never made more out of herself when she still could.

“And now I am not just failing myself, I am failing Sansa and Arya. Seven Hells, I am even failing you. I am failing everyone!”

To her great shock, she finds herself in the arms of the man she has a truce with. Jaime comforts her and holds her close when her world is on the verge of falling apart. And for the first time in a long time, she simply lets go, allows herself to accept that comfort, to let someone else hold her when she is so used to keeping it together for others.

Jaime trusts her with some of his past at last, something she never demanded of him to know, how he lost his hand during his time in the military and returned a war veteran with trauma but no family to support him when it mattered. His father just wanted him to join the family company and his sister could not care less about him as she was too absorbed into her own affairs. Even his little brother, who used to look up to him, wasn’t there for him when it mattered. Jaime only ever found joy in riding his motorbike and eventually he was so fed up with the family that he could not take it anymore and simply started to drive, never looking back.

One thing leads to another and the two fall into each other’s arms and into the bed. And for a time, things seem fine again, however broken, because Jaime is all the things Brienne wouldn’t have thought him to be when they first met. He is soft and caring as well as witty and snarky. And Jaime finds that with Brienne, he can finally talk to someone who understands, who bothers to listen, who doesn’t look at him as a lesser man for the choices he made, for the hand he lost and the lifestyle he chose for himself. For the first time in a long time, neither one feels alone in this world.

Sometime later, Jaime takes the girls out for something fun to do so that Brienne has the house to herself and can make some phone calls to find a new job. Brienne is surprised when shortly thereafter, Tyrion winds up on her doorsteps. He says he read her report and finally understood that he was being “kind of a cock” for thinking she was taking time off without telling him and was indeed working this whole time as she had insisted.

“I just thought you were lying,” he admits.

“I don't, not when it comes to those things.”

“You lied about your name.”

“I put in my mother's name because whenever I applied with my own, no one would give me a chance. And I find that kind of unfair, wouldn’t you agree?”

“It is... So, can I come inside?”

“Under the condition that I will throw you out the moment on I am fed up.”

“I suppose I will have to agree to those terms, Miss Tarth.”

Tyrion and she sit down for a long overdue conversation about the case. Tyrion lets her know that he is now convinced that she is onto something big. He wants to work the case, with her, and have a look at the research she gathered but did not include in the report she left at the office before storming out.

Brienne, remembering Jaime's words about how she has to see more worth in herself, demands not just her job back, but to be accepted as who she is and what she is, lawyer Brienne of Tarth. And a raise. Tyrion likes the change of tone and agrees, telling her that he found a replacement anyway, in Shae.

“She does not know how to file reports, but she is good at making coffee.”

“I suppose that's not the only thing you see as being of merit.”

“Far from it.”

“Be it as it may... I have one more condition.”

“Which is?” he wants to know.

“If we go to court with this, if we really work this case, you will cut down on your alcohol consumption. I won't have a partner in on this case who sleeps under the office desk. The people I talked to, they matter to me, their lives depend on our success, and I won’t let someone in on the case who isn’t a hundred percent committed to the cause.”

“I am a very highly functioning alcoholic.”

“Cut it down or cut me out. Your choice.”

“You learn fast.”

“I may have a good teacher, though he still has to prove himself.”

Tyrion asks her to have another look at the archives because there must be more to what she currently has. Brienne says that she will have to ask her “friend” to do that, letting him know that she had no luck whereas her friend did. Tyrion is amused by the arrangement and jokes about how that sounds more like this “friend” is to her what Shae is to him. Tyrion suggests to her that he should meet that guy as well, to instruct him on what to look for. He has a greater knowledge regarding those matters than Brienne happens to have because he worked similar cases before. Brienne agrees to the arrangement.

That is the moment Jaime returns with the girls. Brienne tells him about the good news, only for him to go completely blank when he sees Tyrion and Tyrion sees him. Brienne doesn't know what's happening until both drop the bombshell that Jaime is Jaime Lannister and that this is his brother. Brienne never mentioned the name of the law firm to Jaime because he said he did not care.

As it turns out that the brothers were estranged after Tyrion took off to Essos to work for Daenerys Targaryen as a legal advisor when Jaime would have needed him most after the loss of his hand. When he made the cut away from Cersei and Tywin, Jaime thought Tyrion would stand by his side, but he did not. Instead, Tyrion rather kept out of the affairs and hid away in Essos. Jaime never forgave him that and broke with him the same way he did with the rest of the Lannister clan.

Jaime leaves the house in a hurry, unable to deal with his brother and his past catching up to him. Brienne goes after him and comforts him, to “return the favor.” While she won't ask him to go back to the archive and thus help his brother, Jaime says he will do it because he's seen what wildfire can do in the warzone under Aerys in particular, and he could not live with himself if he let people get away with using it.

“Just don't expect me to make peace with my brother.”

“I don't.”

“Then the truce remains intact.”

The work continues and the three work on their parts of the case. Brienne keeps gathering evidence and interviews to connect the dots, Tyrion preps up the battle tactic alongside her and gets back into his old game as the stellar figure he used to be in court despite his height, and Jaime ventures through the archives and on occasion charms his way into the hearts of the locals they have to interview when Brienne can't seem to get through to them.

However, big trouble is on the way and one set-back hunts the next. Running out of money, subtleties from the team of lawyers they are up against, files disappearing, threats, and unknown phone calls are only some of the problems they are facing.

The investigation starts to take its toll on Jaime’s and Brienne’s burgeoning relationship. Jaime doesn’t know whether he can commit to this kind of life he slipped into, after he embraced a life without strings attached for so very long. Brienne, for her part, can’t slow down and dedicates almost all of her time to he work. She would love to spend more time with Arya and Sansa, but she has a responsibility towards those people, she made a promise and has to keep it, has to, has to, has to. However, she also struggles with her feelings for Jaime because she doesn’t want to hold him back, well aware that he is still coming to terms with his PTSD he suffered in the war. She doesn’t want to burden him and doesn’t feel like she can make him stay. After all, she is not flirty, is not charming, and bad luck just keeps sticking to her flat heels.

And all of that happens in the midst of a legal war about to begin between The Alchemists' Guild and Brienne and her team.

But will they win?

Will justice win?

And what may be the costs of that battle?

Only time will show.

Additional Image Source: Erin Brockovich (2000).