#you dirty freak

[platonicjesus]

How have you been, dear reader ? I've never felt as fantastic as before. I have ascended a new grade of hierarchy. Mhm ? Ah, you wanna know about Florence… sure. No harm in this, right ? However, why do you ask ?

Ah, you've went the the 6th floor with her. Quite a beautiful place, I should say. Anyway, you want to know more about her, huh.. sure.

-Like any other worker, she's under the effect of soap. She's upbeat and bubbly, but not as hard to keep up with as Bennett. Hopefully, you can endure and match her personality.

-The lady cooks ordinary meals. There is nothing unique or remarkable about the way the way her food looks, smells, or tastes. You can consider that to be a good or a bad thing, if you wish.

-She's not very cuddly, but not distant either. Ask for a hug, and you'll get it. Sometimes, she may hug you on her own. It really just depends of how she feel and how as her day, although in the end the soap makes it hard to be sad.

-If you need help in anything related to technology, chemistry and physics, she'll get it done for you in less than a hour. For anything else, she can still help, although it would depend of how complex the task is. She's also surprisingly strong and can help you with handcrafting.

-She doesn't argue that easily, and when she does, she makes sure it doesn't get too far. If you were to end up mad at each other, you'd be in the wrong (sorry, not sorry). In that case, she'd let you stay stubborn, but would get Bennett to scold you. Once she'd see him play video games instead of scolding you, she'd end up taking the matter into her own hands.

-She's an average kisser, albeit a sloppy one. She often gives one kiss and goes back to whatever she was doing, or whatever you both were talking about. But she might make out with you and it will be the best time of your life.

-Get ready to hear her complain about not being able to get a magcat. You'll have to comfort her, somehow.. and no, I'm not going to help. That's your crush, not mine.

Ah, you think he's pretty ? I see. You also think she smell good ? I… alright. You want to cuddle her ? Understandable. You want to make out wi- Okay. No. Stop talking. Take this tea, and have a nice day… I guess.

[underthenightskydreamsneverdie]

Little Wolf

Summary: After taking out an Ashwinder camp, Sebastian and MC have some feral sex in the woods.

Warnings: 18+, Outdoors sex, rough sex, spanking, degrading/humiliation, idk it's just really filthy guys

pairing: Sebastian x f!MC

Word count: 1289

A/N: @callmehopeless asked for outdoor feral sex and here is my contribution. This may be the filthiest thing I've ever written and I fucking love it. @pugsnotdrugs92 @sebswebs

------------------------

Sebastian took your hand, running into the night, his heart pounding in his chest. He spared one last glance over his shoulder at the ruined Ashwinder camp, his mind flashing with a memory just made; standing back to back with you, taking out enemies, never missing your targets as you moved in unison, spells firing in quick succession, the look in your eyes as you stood surrounded by bodies of your victims, the air around you simmering with remnants of your ancient magic.

Adrenaline coursed through both of your veins, with it an insatiable lust. He stopped running, pulling you into a small grove of trees, roughly pushing you up against the closest one. He didn’t ask, didn’t say a word, just ripped at your clothes. The moment you were naked he was on you, lips biting at yours, hands grabbing at your flesh, roughly squeezing a breast, a hip, raking across your body as he growled into your mouth. Breaking the kiss, his hands worked quickly to undo his pants, pushing them down enough to free his achingly hard cock. You whimpered as your hands slipped under his shirt, wordlessly begging him to take it off. He ripped at the buttons desperately, not wanting to wait a second more to have you. The shirt fell to the forest floor and his hands found your thighs, lifting you up, pressing you against the tree, shoving his cock inside you in one quick movement. He growled as he filled you, your warmth increasing his lust. He thrust hard and fast, each one scraping the bare skin of your back against the rough bark of the tree. You felt it digging in, cutting into you but you didn’t care. All that mattered was him. 

You loved this side of him, his desperate, animalistic desire for you. When he didn’t care if he hurt you, if you liked it, if you could be seen or heard, all that mattered was the chase of release. In these rare moments he wasn’t your love, your darling, your sweetheart, no, he was your wolf. You would do anything to encourage him to let go, give in to his primal desires, entice the wolf in him to come out to play with the wolf in you. 

Bringing your head to his shoulder you nipped at his skin, loudly moaning his name. As your first orgasm hit you dragged your nails down his back, leaving angry red marks on his freckled skin. The sting of it brought his own release and he paid you back in kind, his teeth sinking into your skin hard enough to draw blood. You crushed your lips against his bloody ones, groaning as you ran your tongue over his teeth, tasting your own blood. 

As his orgasm subsided he set you down, stepping away to undress fully before pulling you to him and sinking you both down to the forest floor. Pushing your hips into the dirt he spread your legs, his strong hands keeping them in place while he pushed back into you, burying himself in your wet pussy once again. He thrust into you as hard as he could, hitting that perfect spot inside you with every one. Lifting your leg he threw it over his shoulder, grunting uncontrollably, lost in his pleasure. Gripping your hips hard, he pulled you to meet him as his pace increased, the sounds of your skin slamming together echoing through the forest. When his orgasm rocked through him this time he let out a deep groan, the end of it turning into an outright howl as he shot his load deep inside you. You let yourself do the same as your own orgasm overtook you, hands digging into the dirt around you. 

His chest heaving as he came down from his high, you pressed on him, urging him back, forcing his cock out of you. Rolling over onto your stomach, pressing your face into the dirt, you raised your ass into the air, shaking it in front of his face. If you were going to act like lust crazed animals, you were going to let him fuck you like one. 

Finally he spoke his first word since leaving the destroyed camp. “Fuck.” You smirked, loving that you’d gotten to him, but it was the feel of his hand coming down on your ass that made you moan. He kneaded the soft flesh before bringing his hand down hard multiple times in a row, high pitched moans slipping from your lips. He slapped at your rear for a long time, switching between cheeks, hitting and kneading until you were almost crying from the growing sensitivity. Just when you thought he was done, you felt his wet mouth on the already bruising skin, sucking at it, nipping at it. 

“Sebastian.” You whimper his name softly not wanting to break him out of this animalistic state. “Fuck me. Fuck your Little Wolf.” 

He let out a muffled growl, your flesh between his teeth. His hand came down one more time as he slipped himself into your wet folds. Setting a much slower pace he pulled completely out of you, making you whimper at the loss, before plunging back in, all the way to the hilt. Finally in the mood to speak, he punctuated his words with  forceful thrusts. 

“Do you..have any idea..how..sexy it is..to watch you..take out a..camp full of..bad guys..with your ancient magic? Have you..any notion.. of the ways..it drives me..wild?” With each thrust you let out small pleasurable screams as his body slammed into the tender flesh of your ass. Your mouth open, dirt sticking to your lips, the scent of the damp earth filling your nostrils, your mind went blank as he continued to pound into you, nothing but the deliciously painful feel of him breaking through your fogged head.

“Look at you, a whimpering, bloody and bruised, dirt covered mess, giving yourself to me. Fuck you look so beautiful right now. The Hero of Hogwarts grinding her face into the dirt like an animal. My strong, willful, girl reduced to this all because of my cock.” 

You hated that you loved the way his degrading comments pushed you over the edge, a shockingly loud scream emanating from your throat as you came for him, bucking your hips wildly to meet his thrusts. With another loud howl he lost control, his own climax descending on him, pulling so far out of you, desperate to fuck you as hard as he could, half of his seed shooting onto the ground underneath you. 

As the last waves of your orgasms subsided, he pulled out, collapsing on the forest floor next to you. Letting your legs relax you stretched out to your full length, giggling as his seed smeared on your stomach, dirt and twigs sticking to your skin. Turning your head to face him, an arm coming out to rest on his chest, you laughed together. Loud, obnoxious, tear producing laughter. 

“Well that was interesting my Little Wolf. I like calling you that. Makes my blood race. Damn, you’re a mess darling.” He pulled a leaf from your hair, chuckling. 

Sitting up, you crawled over to him, climbing on top of his body. Rocking your hips, your sopping wet core rubbing against his cock, you smirked at him. “You’re not nearly messy enough, my sexy wolf. I’m going to change that.” Feeling his cock growing hard again you raised yourself up before sinking down on him. With a long groan you set to work riding him, leaves and dirt falling from your hair, no plans of stopping until he was just as dirty as you.

[frederickkreibug]

Re-entering this fandom by giving A tier list based on how/if these vat7k characters would fuck up a 20 piece buffalo wing

Free for debate

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

Big question -

WTF MARVEL/FEIGE???WTF??????

And will the righteous ire of the Stephen Strange fandom be enough to change the ridiculous course that you have him on?

WTF Marvel/Feige??????

First, you gave his sequel to the antagonist while reducing Stephen to being lovesick rather than the strong freaking TITULAR character of his own supposed movie.

Then you completely reverse his character development from What If...? Season 1, turning him into exactly what MoM Reed Richards told 616 Stephen that he was.

It appears the only correct treatment & love and FREAKING ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF STEPHEN AS THE TRUE HERO THAT SUFFERED 1,500+ YEARS MISERY IN ORDER TO RESTORE THE 616 UNIVERSE IS GOING TO COME FROM...

FAN FICTION WRITERS

[x-heesy]

𝝝𝗙𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗜𝝠𝗟 𝗤𝗨𝝠𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗧𝗣𝝝𝗦𝗧 💀 ☠️

#fucklove #nofucksgiven #humor #motivation #fuckyou #laugh #dark #loveit #wakenbake #bruh #hoodshit #instahumor #savage #fuckit #fuck #fuckoff #follow #memes #funny #dankmemes #darkmemes #funnymemes #art #mood #realtalk #sexed #jokes #realshit #memesdaily #fun #lmao #funnymeme #memer #shitpost #offensivememes #edgymemes

Devils (Combichrist vs. Icon of Coil Remix) by TREASVRE,

[angiestown]

I'm probably like 5 years away from moving out of my parents' house realistically but I can't wait to have a kitchen that doesn't constantly have crumbs and butter and shit on the counter because somebody doesn't know how to clean up after making food without a plate or cutting board or anything

[gamora-borealis]

lol so I was looking at my twt to find a few peoples' @'s to follow on bluesky and actually came across the rumored phan twt plushie kissing discourse... i nearly started laughing that's WILD to me that there's really serious discourse about that!!!??? i know there's weird structural stress on phan twt from phil actually lurking sometimes but... still!

[gatorlovebot]

nsfw. mdni. this is a companion piece to this blurb. my own au where johhny and simon are retired from the military and are mechanics. heed the warmings before reading!

cw: piss play

“wanna go for a ride?” johnny asks, peeking his head into your bedroom. after dinner simon had gone downstairs to the shop to work on a van that had been giving him trouble for ovee a week. the part for it had just been delivered as you three were sitting down for dinner and he was itching to get it installed. that had left you and johnny alone to your own devices.

a ride with johnny was similar to a ride with simon, but you and johnny had to be even more careful when picking out a spot, johnny’s motorcycle giving you no protection from prying eyes. johnny was more adventurous than you and simon, much more impulsive. he would fuck you on your front lawn if he had his way, so you were the one that always gave the final approval of a spot.

you bundled up in a sweater and tight pants, allowing johnny to squat down in front of you to tie your shoelaces around your ankles so they don’t get caught anywhere on his bike. he wore his leather jacket, leather soft and well worn.

you hold on to his waist tight as you cruise through your neighborhood, sun setting against the trees as you make your way out of the city and onto dimly lit backroads. it’s an act of trust, for you at least. this stuff doesn’t come easy to you, it took you awhile to come around to it, but it’s exciting and you trust johnny.

the first time you did this was a little tough, johnny a little too eager and you a little too nervous that you were going to tip off the bike. but you two have figured out how to make it work over time. finding positions comfortable enough for the both of you without fear of the bike tipping over either.

he drives down a familiar windy path, you two had deemed this a safe spot months ago. before you knew it johnny had you sprawled against the seat of the bike, pulling your pants off completely for easier access. he leans down to spit on your cunt, chuckling to himself at your shocked gasp. he teases his cock head against your sensitive clit, letting you whine to yourself for a few moments before finally plunging himself into your tight heat.

his thrusts are deep, balls slapping against your ass as filth tumbles from his lips, “miss this fuckin’ cunt all day, bonnie.” he grunts.

you've always thought that in their perfect world, you would quit your job, so you could stay home and be willing and waiting for them whenever they needed you. the one time you brought it up to them they were seemingly offended by the accusation, claiming that they’d never deny you your freedom to work. but you know that they can’t go anymore than a day without getting their fill of you.

but you can’t go a day without them either, feeling absolutely blissed out at the way johnny drives his cock into you, thrusts getting sloppy. you know he’s close at the way he paws at your hips, big, rough hands holding you in place so he can drain his balls into your clenching pussy.

he barely allows himself a moment to breathe before he’s dropping to his knees, making himself comfortable between your spread legs. he licks and sucks at your clit, before plunging a finger in your wet cunt. you whine at the sounds of his cum squelching in and out of your cunt. “ah, look at that, bonnie.” he marvels condescending, loving the way you whine in embarrassment at his tone. he slips in another finger, “so small for me, bonnie, barely get my fingers in ya’.”

you had never really felt small in your life. always feeling like you were too big in your skin, that you took up too much space. and you had never felt small with any of the other men you’d been with before either, feeling awkward and self conscious whenever they tried to hold you. but not with johnny or simon. they way they held you made you feel like you were a delicate little thing that only they could break.

and it felt like johnny was trying to break you. fingers mercifully rubbing against that spot inside of you that even you try to ignore because of how intense it feels. “come on, come on,” johnny pleads, voice tinged with frustration, “simon said you did it for him.” he mutters.

that catches you off guard, “what?”

johnny’s fingers still in your aching, weepy cunt as he sighs in frustration, “si said he had to lick you clean the other day.” his eyes cut back up to you, “can’t believe you squirted and i wasn’t there to see it.”

“oh my god,” you respond, incredulous, “that wasn’t squirt, johnny.”

his brows furrow in confusion, brown eyes looking up at you from underneath his dark lashes. he is so fucking handsome. and stupid. “what did he mean then?” he huffs.

“well,” you think, trying to figure out how to describe what simon hadn’t done without your throat closing up in embarrassment. you weren’t embarrassed that he did it, you actually thought it was so erotic, but you haven’t even found the courage to talk to simon about it since it happened. “i had to go to the bathroom after we had sex, so i got out of the truck and when i was done, instead of offering me a napkin or something simon just got down on his knees.”

your last few words are stunted, little pauses to help brace yourself for his reaction. johnny was probably the best person to receive that kind of mental image, with him being a dirty little pervert he doesn’t really bat an eye at much. but you still just have a little inkling of shame that naga at the back of your mind. you’ve been with simon and johnny for months and done so many things with them that you never imagined possible and yet, that shame ingrained in you from such a young age still holds true, just a bit.

johnny scoffed, “you let him drink your piss? and neither of you thought to tell me!”

you shrug your shoulders at his outrage, feeling safe with him. safe enough to push his buttons. “he never drank it,” you clarify, “but regardless, it just never came up, i guess.”

you try to act nonchalant but there’s a giddy feeling inside of you at the way his pupils dilate and his hands grip your thighs, pawing at the soft, plush flesh. he gets close to you, breath ghosting your lips before he finally closes the gap. his kisses are wet and sloppy, tongue sliding over your’s. he doesn’t even pull back when he starts begging, “please, bonnie, i wanna taste you so badly.”

your brain feels hazy with desire, his words setting your body on fire. were you really going to do this? “johnny,” you whine against his lips, “i can’t just do it on command.” your cheeks burn with embarrassment, voice strained.

johnny’s fingers make their way back to your wet cunt, stroking through your folds. swallowing your gasp when he plunges his middle finger into your tight heat. “just do it if you can, bonnie.” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your lips before sinking back down to his knees. he sucks and licks at your tender clit deliciously, slipping another finger into your greedy hole.

his fingers press and glide against the same spongy spot near your opening that makes you want to clench your thighs together. “come on, bonnie, i know ya’ can do it.” he encourages, lips moving against your clit because he can’t bear to pull his lips away from your sweet pussy.

you allow your body to relax at his words, relax into the sensations in your pussy that you’d usually shy away from. the rhythm of his fingers pumping in and out of you is hard and intense, growing a pressure inside of you. before it would scare you, would make you reach for simon or johnny’s hands to try and pull them out before something embarrassing happened. but this isn’t embarrassing, not when johnny wants it this badly

you push, trying to release the pressure as the sounds of johnny panting and whispering little mumbled encouragement mixes with the sloppy sounds of your cunt around his fingers. you push and push and push, body resisting until you finally gasp at the feeling of release. you gush, warm wetness covering johnny’s hand and running down his arm. he groans into your clit, opening his mouth, letting you coat his tongue.

it goes on longer than you expected, but once you started you couldn’t stop yourself. it was hotter than you had expected, it had felt downright erotic when simon got down on his knees in front of you to lick your piss clean, but this was downright nasty. you felt hot even as the crisp, night air nipped at your skin. once your stream finally petters off, johnny pulls back and you take in the sight of him.

his pupils are blown, eyes looking so dark and fucked out. his mouth is wet, chin dripping as he licks his lips of your own piss. his fingers still haven’t left your cunt and he brings his thumb to your swollen, wet clit, stroking it as he brings his wet mouth to yours. “tha’ feel good for ya’, bonnie?” all you can do is nod your head, not trusting yourself to speak, but trying to convey your feelings through your eyes.

johnny smirks and leans up for a hot kiss. you moan against his wet lips and find the courage to lick into his mouth, really tasting yourself. he groans into your mouth, almost wounded, at your bold move. both him and simon have told you how much it means to them when you finally let go, make moves on your own. he pulls back, a beaming grin on his face. “think you can cum on ma fingers, bonnie?” he muses, fingers working into your dripping cunt purposefully, applying pressure to your clit to make you squirm against the bike seat.

you whimper and gasp at the sensations, reaching down to grasp at his wrist for something to hold on to. “i gat ya’, girl.” he coos into your ear, reveling in the sounds of your cries as you squirm and buck on his fingers. he holds you around the shoulders so as to not let you fall off his bike. the seat is wet which allows you to grind your hips against his fingers, hitting the over sensitive spot inside you over and over. the pressure on your clit is perfect and before you know it you’re clenching down on his fingers as your orgasm washes over you.

he holds you close to his chest as you come down from your high, rubbing his warm hands up your arms when you start shivering. “good girl fo' me.” he whispers against your ear before finally pulling back a step to take a good look at you. you look him up and down as he does the same to you and you both burst into laughter as you realize what disasters you to are. the front of johnny’s shirt is soaked and your thighs are still wet and dripping.

“look at us,” he chuckles, peeling his shirt off and over his head. luckily you had thought to take your pants all the way off, knowing that they’ll be dry at least, but the problem is how to get you dry. johnny was already thinking ahead of you though, bunching up his shirt in his hand and using the dry fabric to wipe down your thighs.

“thank you,” you murmur as he meets your eyes. he gives one last swipe of the shirt to your pussy before deeming you dry.

“thank you, bonnie.” you says meaningfully, helping you up off the seat so you can tug your pants back on and he can wipe down the seat. you hike your pants up past your hips and take a step back towards johnny to plaster yourself against his back. there was a wave of embarrassment that nagged at you and you didn’t want to allow it to take you out of the moment. he reaches around you to pat your butt reassuringly, “feelin’ a bath when we get home. how’s that sound, bonnie?”

you hum into his skin, nodding your head in agreement. you let him go so he can put his jacket back on, a little modesty for the ride back home, you giggle to yourself. he catches you laughing at him and the ne’s pulling you in for a hug, squeezing your middle. “what’s so funny, ay?” he growls playfully in your ear, almost drowned out by the sounds of your laughing. ‘only got me jacket now because my bonnie girl decided to get dirty on me.”

“hey!” you gasp out, incredulous. “you were the one that asked me to-”

“i know, i know,” he placates, setting you down on the bike, reaching for your helmet. “and i loved it so much, you don’t eve’ fucking know.” his grin is wolfish before he places the helmet on your head.

[skeletonstarz]

EEEHHHHHH why is venture just poking out like that. They look lost, actually the whole fucking 3d character model poster look is like actual GARBAGE. Why the fuck would anyone do this. Or even suggest this. Omg OMG omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN GOD BUT IM PRAYING IM PRAYING THIS MADNESS ENDS

the 2d overwatch style has STYLE not...whatever this is, overwatch 1 poster had so much...sparkle and glitter to it this one is "uhhh...fill in the space." not good man

I DONT HAVE THE VOCABULARY TO DESCRIBE THE FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT? DISGUST? ABHOR? I need to calm down I can't let the blizzard get the best of me

HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE (get the reference? Eheehehhehhe)

Justice for venture cause they don't deserve any of that. GIVE THEM A DAMN SKIN

When making venture they were like "yeah let's make them burrow underground as a new tool kit or whatever games terms it is!" And many nodded their heads one voice spoke up upon the rest "yeah, and maybe we can try to expand the diversity in the cast of characters by making them gender non conforming and actually have that as a solid part of themselves and as a character instead of a tagline you can use to promote them and pretend you care!" And then the clapping and nodding of hands stopped.. suddenly nervous laughter leaves the mouth of said person and the main man himself gets up..."yes, they/them...false reality of actually caring about the story and characters of this dead game..." And another idea was shouted "And you can give them such interesting and character accurate cosmetics and content!" Silence...but this time it was forever. "Cosmetics won't be needed...they're already perfect...they/them..."

It wasn't, but it's what I speculate

don't grammar police me, because I will not be listening fingers in my ears lalalalal

[solar-halos]

okay guys i need to know

[weepylucifer]

Kim being extremely apprehensive of Harry can-opening him but also, on the other hand, extremely attracted to the thought of Harry can-opening him. Like ough yes big man, point out things about me in your gruff voice. Except no, it can never be allowed to happen. The yearning to be seen. The mortifying ordeal of being known. He jerks off to this a lot

[termagax]

Am I misunderstanding that post because a lot of fat fetishization Does dehumanize fat people I'm not sure i entirely understand your tag

thats basically what im saying. i absolutely agree that the fat fetish community enables dehumanisim + fatphobia and that is a problem which should be talked abt considering how rampant it is, and i dont like people using "oh those purity obsessed assholes just hate us for Loving Something Different" as a shield. fetishization is a specific term for that kind of dehumanization + objectification where someone is reduced to a pure sexual object instead of being viewed as like, a person, with their value only being filtered through the sexual pleasure other people get out of their bodies, and is often accompanied by massive amnts of fatphobia and a general intense disrespect for fat people ioutside of sexual contexts as well. and its something that is absolutely worth talking about especially from fat women who are most often the targets of this kind of treatment

but ive absolutely seen people take that conversation to mean "fetish = bad" and that is what annoys me. theres a difference between having a type, having a kink, and fetishization. and the way anyone who speaks affectionately or sexually about a fat person or fat bodies is immediately slapped with the label of DIRTY FETISHIT is something that comes from a well-meaning place, but more often then not just says "being attracted to fat people is Not Normal, and therefore impossible to do in a way that isn't fatphobic, therefore fat people should not be seen as sexually desirable". even if the intentions are good, the result ("fat people are not viable sexual interests") just contributes to the existing stigma around fat bodies.

[motherdelores]

[ryan-sometimes]

Genuine question, what’s the kindest way to tell the person I’ve been dating for a few weeks that they desperately need to clean their apartment?

[delicioustarong]

"In the twisted dance of betrayal, trust is shattered and innocence fades, revealing the bitter taste of deception that lingers, a reminder that even the closest allies can wield the cruelest blades."

Inspired by @/tulipsempai comic

[hella1975]

i feel like i need to do laps of the house rn i have so much to talk to you guys about and idk where to start