#you deserve to be paid for your art
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queen-mihai · 1 year ago
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I love being a crazy adhd person cuz I can legit blaze a trail like a freight train on fire, just wrecking shit; and then go back and find my lovely friends with autism and carefully walk through the same path I was just smashing through
the problem with autism is sometimes you want to do something (brave) but you need someone to gently walk you through each step so you know what will happen. and people don’t like doing that
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patiann345 · 4 months ago
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Watching the situation with EA doing a fuckton of updates in a like. 5 days because their latest pack broke TS4 in.. A HUGE VARIETY OF WAYS from player to player. Jesus christ man. and then some of you guys still wanna pay for new packs?? What??? I can't make anyone buy or not buy anything but... C'mon, put your money to better use! Half of that content should've been base-game anyway, but instead gets cut up and sold across multiple packs to milk money out of people,, and it clearly works because I'm seeing people nab packs during the sale even while the game is in an unplayable state for a lot of players.
It's so sad because I was kinda excited for the 10-year anniversary next month. But seeing the state it's in rn, how frustrated people are seeing their game break down and (god forbid) their saves get completely wiped, seeing the very convenient sale for packs go up right as the community sends in complaints that the game won't load properly or they can't use CAS or this and that etc etc,,,
I'm never paying for another pack again. I feel crap that I ever did in the first place. If it ain't 100% off, I'm not getting it.
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Had an acquaintance who I commissioned to knit me a cute hat ask me if I can draw their DND character for them and when I said I only take commissions they were like "oh okay I'll figure something else out then" AND LIKE!!!
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astramachina · 7 months ago
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........... Watcher. I mean. I get it. But what the hell. I love you guys but I can't do it. I can't pay for another subscription. ):
Like I get it, youtube as a platform doesn't lend itself well to this kind of media but damn. Damn.
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zentraex · 8 months ago
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Summary: You made a lot mistakes in your new job, but do you regret them? Nope, not a bit. But who can blame you for it? If you wouldn't have done them, you never would have met this pretty boy.
Remember: German Grammar is a lot different then English grammar. I apologize for any mistakes.
Pairing: Francis Mosses (doppelganger) x gn! Reader
(A/N): I usually write for mha, but this men dominates my fyp on TikTok and I can't stop grinning like an idiot about all this fanarts. My men is just too attractive for his own good. Nevertheless, Tumblr has too few fanfictions for him, so I had to do it myself. Still, I am not that proud about how it turned out. It certainly sounded better in my head, but I don't care. One shitty fanficion is better than none.
Art by @asteriscks on TikTok
This game is not mine, but Ignacio Alvarado. I also used phrases from the game.
Mistakes? Yes, but no regrets.
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It's been a week since you started working for D.D.D as a doorman. 
You can remember your first day so well, it could have been yesterday. 
Well... probably because your life is constantly at stake. 
_
It started with a mistake that you ended up here. It was completely unexpected since you always made sure, that you sent your rent to the right account. 
Surely no one can blame you for a small typo, right?
Well, your landlord, who kept pounding on your door until you woke up, surely did.
"What?" you asked, annoyed, as you opened the door.
"When do you plan to finally pay your bill? The date has already been overdue for two weeks!" he complains. 
What?
"Sorry, but I've already transferred my money to you."
"Well, I didn't get anything. Do you still have the receipt for the transfer?"
"No..."
You already knew what that meant: double payment.
"Look, today, I'll transfer it to your account again, okay? If it doesn't work this time, it's not my fault."
You were about to close the door, but your landlord had other plans when he held the door open with his foot.
 "No no no. You will give me the money now. I don’t trust you. Why would you transfer it to me today, when it should have happened two weeks ago. You will give it to me now."
Your eyes widened. 
Now?
"But I don't have that much money in my hand? Who's got that?"
"Then I'll have to kick you out for now. But don't worry, no one is going to buy an apartment here anytime soon, so you can move right back in as soon as you give me the money."
Staring stunned at his smiling face you could have sworn you were about to hit him. 
"The keys?" 
With watery eyes, you grabbed your keys, placed them in his outstretched hand, and frowned.
What kind of person had such sharp fingernails as he does?  
You were sure that he could definitely have stabbed someone with them.
Thank God, I didn't hit him. 
"When do you plan to give me the money? I've heard that all banks closed today. Some kind of holiday among them, I've heard."
What!?
How were you going to get through the day today? You intentionally left everything in your apartment since you were so sure that you could have given the money to your landlord in a matter of minutes. 
"You’re telling me this now!?"
"If you had paid, you wouldn’t need to know." 
That filthy bastard.
No matter how angry you were at that moment, your panic was overweighting.  
What were you going to do now? 
Shit.
"Man, I really wouldn't want to be in your situation...", the landlord murmured.
Fuck the nails- This guy deserves a punch.
Just as you raised your fist, he speaks again.
"But maybe we can agree on something.
Then you stopped. 
"The D.D.D., which is responsible for the safety of all residents in this area, is looking for doormans. Ours has recently...quitted, which is why we are urgently looking for one. They pay three times the amount of your rent in a week. If you take the job, I can overlook your sloppiness this time."
Three times your rent? In a week? And for what? To sit there and check a few documents. You'd be crazy not to take the offer! 
"Okay. I'll do it. Where can I apply?"
"Don't worry, I'll sort it out for you. Tomorrow, you can start”
_
Looking back, it should have been clear to you that something was wrong. Starting with the sudden his sudden threat, the fingernails and this stupid story about the holiday of the banks. 
Maybe it was just because you were too panicked at that moment to think rationally.
But let’s be true here: when are you thinking rationally? If you did, you would certainly have quitted after your first day.
_
"Welcome and congratulations on your new job."
After watching the short video, a man in the yellow suit came to your window. You are so shocked that you can’t even answer.
I'm going to die today!
After all, you know it yourself: you're too gullible for the job. There's no chance you'll unmask a doppelganger who copies someone well.
“As you could see on the introductory film, your job is to verify the entry of the neighbors of your building. Each day there will be a list of individuals who will request entry to the building. It is possible that there are individuals who request entry and aren’t on the list. In which case you will mark on the checklist that they are not on the list and proceed to question the individual. Also, you must verify that the ID and the entry reqest are correct and have the respective D.D.D. logo. Don’t forget to also check the expiration on the IDs. Remember it’s Febuary 1955."
Your gaze wanders to the note that was stuck to the wall. 
Arnold Schmicht F02 – 01
Anastacha Mikaelys F02 – 04
Robertsky Peachman F01 – 02
Steven Rudboys F03 – 03 
Mia Stone F03 – 01
Rafttellyn Cappuccin F03 – 04
Admittedly, you don't know any of your neighbors, neither by character nor really by sight. You were never the type to care about your neighbors. 
"I wish you good luck."
C’mon Reader, be like Henry…
But better.
The first inhabitant was Mia Stone and you already started to sweat.
"Good evening."
Was she real? Was she a doppelganger? 
With shaky hands, you reached for her ID and entry pass, only to find that everything was fine. She was also on today's list and her appearance doesn't show any deviations either, right?
Just to be sure, you looked into the folder that described her appearance: 
Long hair
Small round nose
She has freckles
...
...
...
Freckles?
Your eyes wandered again to the woman in front of you, who was waiting patiently behind the window. 
You narrowed your eyes a little and leaned forward to get a better view of her.
No matter how long you stared at her, you didn't see them, her freckles. 
"You look different...", you murmur after a while.
"What's wrong with my appearance? I think everything is fine with my appearance."
Her photo on her ID and Entry Pass both have no freckles. 
Perhaps a mistake on the part of the D.D.D.? 
You're about to press the green button, but then you see her grinning slightly out of the corner of your eye. 
Shit. 
She almost had you. You're really not made for this job.
Your hand slammed hard against the red button, causing the siren to blare and the metal window to crash down. 
"3312," you murmur to yourself.
"You have contacted the D.D.D.. A group of agents has been sent to your building. Please wait for the cleaning protocol to run."
Cleaning protocol? 
What happens to those who were cleaned? They certainly won't be killed, will they? 
What if they will?
What if your judgment was wrong?
What if...
Your thoughts were interrupted as the siren fell silent and the metal window went up, only to reveal the yellow man.
"Cleaning protocol completed. You can continue your job."
It took a while until someone finally came again. 
This time, your heart was pounding faster. Significantly faster. And this time, you can't even say for sure that it's all out of fear. 
Milkman...
You definitely can't deny it: he's probably one of the most attractive men you've ever seen. 
You don't even have to look at today's checklist to tell he's not on it – a face like his would have caught your eye right away. 
"Francis Mosses, huh?" you murmured to yourself as you looked at his ID. "You're not on today's list."
"I’m not on today’s list because I had to leave due to an emergency."
Long nose
Thin chin
Tired eyes
Short hair
Wears a hat
It all fit. The only thing left now was a call. 
Just as you began to spin the wheel of the phone, he said, "You're new here, aren't you? I've never seen you here before."
"Yes, today is my first day."
"Must be hard, huh? I've heard that more and more doppelgangers are appearing and they are becoming more and more error-free. It would be a shame if such a pretty face as yours were to disappear forever."
Your cheeks turn red and suddenly you feel shyer than you actually are.
"B-But your job has to be hard as well. I didn't think that being a milkman would rob you so much sleep."
Francis smiles a little. So little that you almost didn't see it at all.
"It's not. I just stay up for a very long time. If you like, I can bring you some milk sometime. It's refreshing, calms the nerves."
You bite your lip slightly when you have to refrain from a question.
What milk do you mean exactly?
My God, why were you just such a sucker for handsome men?
"I'd be delighted, Francis."
You talked to him for a while and you quickly forgot that you were actually going to call someone. 
"I'd like to talk to you more, but I don't want to stop you from your work. I'll see you tomorrow, right, Reader?"
And you quickly forgot that you never told him your name. 
You pressed the green button.
_
"Shh," whispered the voice of Francis next to your ear. 
It was your third day, your third time to change shift.
Well, it usually would have been.
Your vision and mouth were blocked by the bloody hands of the doppelganger who claimed to be Francis.
He had killed the doorman, that should have taken over your shift.
You had to admit, that you were more than inconsiderate. After all, you didn't ask for his entry pass, nor the reason why he wasn't on today's list.  
"I'll let you go now, yeah? No wrong move, okay?"
He laughed softly as he released his hands from you and turned your chair, so you were facing him. 
"We don't want to hurt you, do we, Reader?"
The sentence shouldn't have given you hope, because after all, you were more than sure that you were going to die one way or another.
Maybe you should have shown a little resistance. For your honor, but....
Oh?
He is so close to you that you can practically feel his body heat. Or was it your own? Your face, despite your situation, was burning. 
Even though he said he was letting you go, his hands ran over your body and you couldn't deny that it did something to you. 
Were you so shameful?
"Actually, I wanted to wait, but I couldn't take it anymore.  I've been patient long enough, haven't I? It was so much work for me, to let you get this job."
You didn't know what to say. Honestly, you didn't know if you would even be able to answer him. 
His breath touched your throat as he spoke, "I think I deserve this, don't I? What do you say, Reader? Do I deserve my reward?”
If you were going to die anyway, why not enjoy the last few minutes?
Regardless of whether he was a doppelganger, he had lived up to his title as "Mlikman" that night.
_
"You killed the real Francis Mosses?" you asked the next day. 
Francis grins, almost so much so that his real form was threatening to show itself.
"Yes, of course. What would have happened if he had come before me? You would have sent the D.D.D. after me."
Well, he had a point, huh?
No matter how wrong it was, you were glad it didn't come to that. 
You didn't know the real Francis Mosses. That's probably why his death was so insignificant to you.
"Have you killed more people?"
"Just more doppelgangers you let through."
Your eyes widened. 
You were so sure you caught them all. The false success was the reason why you didn't quit…well, it was one of the reasons.
"How many have I let through?"
Francis just continues to wear his smirk as he gives you a kiss on the forehead.
"Don't rack your pretty head over it, okay?"
You just nod, smiling.
"Are you going to kill others...?
You don't know why you added your next question. Probably because you wanted to feel special. 
"Would you kill for me?"
"Hooooonn"
When you turn your gaze to his face, two white pupils stared at you and his grin is inhumanly wide and black. 
You don't know if it's joyful or sadistic, but it definitely made you feel special.
_
Looking back, you made more than a few mistakes. 
But honestly? 
You don't regret a single one of them. After all, all of them have led to an all-too-familiar knock on your window.
When you look up, he waves, the milkman. 
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thedemonsurfer · 10 months ago
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Also these things generally shit on common tropes or habits of newcomers (anime-inspired styles, anyone?)
Okay telling you that this stuff isn't helpful is, uh, not that helpful on its own. How do you figure out what's useful information?
The advice should explain the thought process behind it.
"Don't use solid black or white, this looks much better" > not helpful at all. Tells you what to do based on the artist's own habits, not yours
"Using solid black or white doesn't give you any space for shading or highlights in color illustration, since you cannot go darker than solid black nor brighter than solid white. They're also as saturated (intense) as you can get, and can draw attention away from other parts of the illustration. A very dark/light grey will optically be registered as black/white, while still giving you room to mess around." > explains the thought process
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NEVER draw an eye
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ghostlyferrettarot · 18 days ago
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♥︎Pick a picture:💕⭐️Channeled messages from your future self⭐️💕
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•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3
❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️
✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!
⭐️If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!⭐️
💕Masterlist💕
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💙Pile 1:
"You are closer than you think to the life you truly desire, just trust the process."
"The change you fear so much is the door that will lead you to what truly belongs to you."
"Do not underestimate the power of patience; what is to come will be much greater than you imagine."
"Your intuition already knows the answer, it is time to listen to it and act with confidence."
"Remember: everything you have overcome has prepared you for what is to come. There is no turning back."
"Sometimes, moving away from the known is necessary to make room for the new and extraordinary."
"The love you give yourself is the first step to attracting what you deserve in all areas of your life."
"It is time to let go of what no longer serves you; the universe has something better in store for you."
"Your personal power is unbreakable. Do not let anyone or anything make you doubt your ability."
"Opportunities are in front of you, you just need to take the first step with faith and courage."
Hi Pile 1! Your future self is so wise and clever, they are in a powerful position for sure. It's time to take the first step you need, you are capable and are ready for what's next!
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💖Pile 2:
"The calm before the storm is the sign that something big is coming, get ready to receive it."
"Your efforts have not been in vain. The universe is preparing the ground for your success."
"You don't have to have all the answers now. Sometimes, the most important thing is to trust the path."
"You are breaking free from what was holding you back. Peace and clarity are closer than you think."
"Your energy is aligned with change. Don't resist the inevitable, embrace the transformation."
"The time to heal has come. Emotional release is your first step towards fulfillment."
"The stars have aligned your destiny for a greater purpose, trust that everything happens for a reason."
"It's time to manifest what you want. The universe is listening to your deepest thoughts."
"You are in the process of rebuilding yourself, give it time."
"What seems uncertain now, will become clearer in time. Allow yourself to trust the journey."
Hi pile 2! You are in a transformation process and your future self wants you to know that everything will be fine, just give yourself the time you need and don't push to hard; be gentle with yourself, a big hug for you pile 2.
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💕Pile 3:
"Your capacity to achieve great things is far beyond what you imagine. Trust your potential."
"The opportunities you seek are on your way."
"You are ready to receive everything the universe has prepared for you."
"Every challenge you face is an opportunity in disguise. You are being prepared for something much greater."
"The key to success is constant action. Don't stop, the universe is aligning everything for you."
"Doors are opening, and you hold the key. Don't doubt your ability to take advantage of every opportunity."
"Your dreams are valid and attainable. The first step is to believe in them as much as you believe in yourself."
"You are attracting success because you are aligned with your purpose. Keep believing, keep moving forward, the best is yet to come."
"Your capacity to love and create is infinite. Everything you put your heart into doing, becomes art."
"You are exactly where you need to be. Every step you take brings you closer to the person you are destined to be."
Hi pile 3! You are definitely working hard for your dreams and I see that you will be someone very successful! Feel that you are someone artistic, who connects with the most sincere parts of yourself when creating, this will lead you to find your way. Keep going pile 3!
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💕💖Thank you for reading and tell me if it resonated 💖💕
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thebibliosphere · 1 year ago
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I both believe "poor people deserve art" and "artists deserve food", but it's hard to reconcile those beliefs. I blame capitalism. And I suppose it mostly matters who you're stealing from?
I don't mean to question you at all, I'm against people pirating your stories. I guess I was just wondering if you had more thoughts regarding the reconciliation the two beliefs I quoted above.
I think the reconciliation is working toward a future where things are better, and authors and artists don't have to beg people not to steal from them because they think every author is Stephen King, who wouldn't notice if you stole the pennies found under his couch when in reality most of us are hunting for spare change down the back of the couch because we are earning below minimum wage.
We need people to embrace the idea that art belongs to the working class, both in terms of consumption but also creation.
If you don't support the working-class creators, you'll only end up with rich fucks with no scope of the world beyond their own narrow view of privilege.
Indie creators are actually working very hard to change the way the industry works, and the publishing industry is shitting itself over it. They don't like the success some of us are having. It's why they keep upping prices while slashing corners on their own production (while never affecting the man at the top) to try and stay competitive within the rat race they've created.
They're not interested in the proliferation of art. They're not interested in making sure their authors can afford to live. They don't want more diversity. They don't want inclusion. They want profit at whatever the cost.
And while indie creators very much need to get paid because we live in a capitalistic society and everything is burning down around us, and a carton of eggs now costs more than what I earn per hour, our creativity is directly at odds with the type of profiteering big publishers want.
The money should go to the writers. Not the CEOs. The money should go to the workers in the print houses. Not the CEOs. No one needs the kind of wealth these people have. It's obscene. We need direct action against these conglomerates. We need unionization. We need a means to fight back so that we can make art and make it accessible.
So, how do we do that? I don't know. I'm just a very tired, disabled creator doing my best to keep my head above water. But I think getting people to realize that art and books are worth saving up for would be a good start.
That putting money in the pockets of creators is just as important as your own enjoyment of their art. Because if there aren't any artists, you've got nothing.
Getting them involved with their local libraries would also be a great start. Educating them on how the industry works is part of that. The number of people telling me they had no idea libraries paid authors is staggering. And that's intentional. It's a by-product of right-wing propaganda to make you think libraries are worthless and just sap taxpayers' money.
They're not.
If they were, the fash wouldn't be trying so hard to take them away.
Basically, we need working-class solidarity and for certain people on the left to rid themselves of the idea that just because something isn't borne of manual labor, it doesn't have worth. We need the artists and the dreamers as much as we need to bricklayers and the craftsmen. Otherwise, what's the fucking point of it all?
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snowballseal · 3 months ago
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Insecurities - Rafayel
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Summary: Here is the portion of Rafayel reacting to your insecurities. And you best know this man goes big to prove a point. Much fluff.
Here is the original with the other LADS boys
Word Count: 1831
Notes: Reader has insecurities about they way they look, so just keep in mind. It ends fluffy and happy though.
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“Rafayel, do I look okay?”
The artist immediately drops whatever he was doing, twisting around to peer over the back of the couch as you step into the studio.
His iridescent eyes scan over your figure, his voice lilting with teasing affection, “I’m not sure I even want to go if this is what you’re wearing. I think everyone would think you’re the art and ignore my hard work.”
You wrinkle your nose. Partially because he’s being ridiculous. Partially because you don’t really believe him. The dress is gorgeous of course, he did a great job of helping you pick one out, but it doesn’t change the way you’ve been feeling for the past few days.
Before you met Rafayel, you never paid much attention to how you looked. Not in a bad way, you kept yourself neat and dressed up whenever you went out for special occasions, but it was never on your mind much. But now…You don’t know. It’s not Rafayel’s fault, the man has never been shy in complimenting you, but you can’t help but notice the type of women that like to approach him. All gorgeous enough to be models, with the confidence to match - seeing as they always have to gall to flirt with him even when you’re holding hands.
And you wish it didn’t get to you. It shouldn’t. Rafayel doesn’t even bat an eyelash at them, always focusing on you or making more obvious shows of affection to chase them away. Still, the more it happens, the more you find yourself caring about how you look, or not liking the way you look. 
And wearing a lovely dress only seems to highlight your self-perceived flaws.
“Do you really think it looks okay?” You ask again, fiddling with the satin self-consciously. 
Rafayel’s brow furrows a little. He tilts his head, looking almost like a confused puppy, “What is it? Do you not like the dress? Do you not want to go anymore? Please don’t make me go alone. These galleries are sooo boring without you, I hate them.”
“They’re your galleries,” you point out, shaking your head with a small smile, “How can you hate them so much? It’s your work, they deserve to be celebrated.”
“Why go stare at my own work when I can spend the night staring at you?”
Heat creeps up your cheeks. Usually you’d have a witty comeback to his flirting, but you can’t find anything tonight, not with how you’re feeling. So you just ruffle his hair fondly, avoiding the intense affection in his gaze.
“Come on, Thomas will be mad if we don’t show up. We need to go.”
Rafayel’s eyes narrow. Before you can pull away, he grabs your wrist, keeping you anchored to where you are. Your heart jumps to your throat at the serious expression he suddenly gives you.
“What’s wrong? You’re acting strange.” 
Being an artist, Rafayel knows you, your face, your body, better than anyone. He’s always looking at you, holding on to every new detail he finds. Like the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh. How the tip of your nose turns rosy when you’re even a little cold. Or how your lips twitch before you lie. Like they are now.
“I’m fine, Raffie, just…tired,” you sigh, tugging against his hold, still trying to avoid him, “Now come on, we should go.”
“Hmmmmm…no.”
You squeak as Rafayel unexpectedly gives your wrist a sharp pull. The momentum sends you tumbling over the back of the couch, right into his lap, and before you can escape, he has you wrapped in his arms. Stuck.
“Rafayel-! Let go of me,” you growl, squirming around hopelessly. The man is surprisingly strong, and with your feet still tossed over the back of the couch, you can’t get enough leverage to escape.
“Nope, not until you tell me what’s wrong,” he hums, arms tightening around your waist.
You huff and give him a solid glare, “This isn’t funny, Rafayel.”
“And neither is hiding something that’s obviously bothering you,” he snips back softly, “You’re a horrible liar, miss bodyguard.”
“I just…” You cross your arms, face feeling warmer and warmer the longer he stares at you. Why does he have to be so stubborn at times like this? “I haven’t been feeling good about myself lately, okay? That’s it, now can we go?”
“Nope.” You resist the urge to groan.
“Thomas is going to throw a fit-”
“He can handle it tonight, I’ll give him a bonus. What’s more important is fixing this.” Rafayel props his chin on your shoulder, a contemplative frown pulling at his lips. “It’ll have to be something creative, which I’m great at, of course. But what?”
“Rafayel, this really isn’t necessary,” you grumble, “I don’t think it’s something you can fix.”
The artist shakes his head, pressing a faint kiss to your shoulder, “I think you underestimate me, cutie. But that’s okay, I think I know exactly what to do.”
Lifting you up, Rafayel sets you back on the couch gingerly and darts off after giving you instructions to not move. A heavy sigh passes your lips as you fix your dress, though it seems a bit pointless now. It doesn’t sound like you’ll be going to the gallery.
A part of you is secretly relieved at that. You love looking at Rafayel’s work, but since it’s his gallery, all the attention would be on him, and, consequently, you as well. It’s a bit suffocating. Still, you’re a little wary of whatever plan he has concocted. Rafayel is as unpredictable as he is talented.
Time seems to tick by slowly as you sit on the couch. You eye the clock, noting each minute as it passes by. Your nerves only continue to rise the longer you’re alone. What on earth is he doing?
On the tenth minute, Rafayel reappears, a mischievous spark in his eyes. He offers you a hand.
“The gallery is ready for you to attend, cutie.”
This time, your eyes narrow, though you still take his hand, allowing him to help you up. “I thought you said we weren’t going?”
“Oh, this is a different kind of gallery,” he hums, looking quite proud of himself, “I think you’ll enjoy this one a lot more. And I’ll be your personal tour guide.”
“How kind,” you muse, fighting your own smile. You might as well humor him, even if it doesn’t help. As long as Rafayel is happy, you can count the night as some kind of success.
Rafayel leads you to one of the spare rooms of the studios. You vaguely remember him telling you at some point that it’s a room he likes to keep his sketchbooks and unfinished projects in. You cast him a curious glance, but his eyes are set ahead as he touches the door, that smile still painted across his lips.
“These works are some of the most important that I’ve ever done, and you’ll be the first to see them. My heart rests in your hands tonight, so be careful, otherwise you might mortally wound me and I’ll never have the courage to paint again.”
You roll your eyes at his antics, about to make a sassy remark, but the words get lost when he presses the door open. Your eyes go wide at the sight before you.
The room is lit by candles, flickering with the flames of his evol. Their light dances across countless artworks spread across the room, hanging on every surface, each one depicting the same subject.
You.
Most of them are sketches, their strokes simple and spontaneous but laden with care, like he had wanted to capture a precious moment for himself. There’s one of you dozing off on the couch, another of you dancing in the kitchen. There’s even one of you holding a stuffy, from one of your many trips to the arcade.
The further you walk into the room, the more detailed the pieces become. 
A charcoal drawing of you in your uniform, gun drawn on something off page. The lines of your body are like water, fluid and graceful, the look in your eyes somehow burning with a fierce determination.
An oil painting of the night you spent at the market. Your image is looking at a sparkler, the light reflected in your eyes like stars, your cheeks painted a soft rosy color that seems to glow. It’s impossibly delicate, each stroke placed with such intention, it’s almost like you’re there again.
The final painting you come to make your face go warm again. It’s of you, curled up under a familiar set of sheets, mostly focused on your face. Your hair pools against the pillow, messy yet somehow charming in its unruliness. The morning sunlight dapples across your skin, highlighting the soft color of your lips and the gentle curve of your smile. But it’s your eyes that really make your breath catch. You can practically see the sleepy fog in them, like you had just woken, but also the undeniable warmth. The love.
It’s…beautiful. They’re all beautiful. And they’re all you.
“This is…” You swallow around the lump in your throat, suddenly feeling off-kilter. “I can’t believe you did all of these.”
Rafayel, who had been following behind you silently, hums softly and curls his arms around your waist. You lean back into his touch, letting it ground you and your swirling emotions.
“It’s been difficult even focusing on my work for the gallery. Everything else seems to pale in comparison when I have such a beautiful muse in front of me all the time,” he murmurs the words against your temple, voice quiet to match the atmosphere of the room. “I could devote lifetimes to painting you and never grow tired of it.”
You bite back a bashful smile, unable to resist the urge to tease him a little, “I didn’t realize I was so distracting.”
“Just ask Thomas. I think this is the most he’s ever had to remind me to finish my work,” Rafayel chuckles, giving your waist a squeeze. “But it was worth the missed deadlines. Afterall, isn’t it my responsibility as your employer and lover to make sure you understand how much I cherish you?”
Your heart flutters wildly as the brazen affection in his tone. It seems to melt away your doubts, replacing them with an overwhelming feeling of fondness for your artist. Only Rafayel would do something like this for you, how could you deny it?
Turning around in his hold, you lean up on your tiptoes and press a kiss to his cheek, which you notice is an absolutely rosy shade of red. It makes you feel even more fond. You really really love this man.
“Thank you, my pretty fish. I feel much better now.”
That dazzling smile lights up his face again, and he leans down to scatter kisses all over your face, whispering between your bouts of giggles, “Anything for you, my queen.”
---
All the smooches. I love this man. I will die on the hill of using the nickname "fish" or "fishie" with him, I think it's soooo cute.
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the-tarot-witch22 · 2 months ago
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Messages/Advise from your Spirit Guides - Pick a pile
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Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3
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My Paid Readings | My insta | My October Goal
Liked my blog or readings? Tip me!
Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!
Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!
How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!
I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!
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Pile 1:
(The cards I got for you - The devil, Ace of swords, 9 of pentacles and 7 of pentacles)
Okay so the very first thing i heard and feel is "let go" don't hold onto things that has no value in your life, or people that doesn't make you feel like you should be a better person, the message is so strong here, for some of you i feel you holding onto some part of something and not trying to lose it, but i feel in the end it's hurting you, so your guides are so gentle and keep saying to trust in yourself and in them, what happens it's going for your best. I also feel your guides saying don't be obsessed or infatuated with the situation or someone you already know it's not right for you and you should see the signs i am sending, you deserve better and you know it, I also heard "speak your truth", "you don't have to please someone or anyone in that matter", you have yourself and that is more than enough, I also feel your guides saying communicate, don't try to bottle things up inside you, your loved ones and we care for you, I also see a situation where you had cried a lot for some reason, like a very loud sobs and hard situation but you got out of it and you are trying to heal and they are so proud of you to doing so. "I also heard, "amazing things are coming your way, you just need to be open to accept it" okay so very interesting here i feel they know sometimes you guys could be really pessimistic and have thoughts like "isn't it so good to be true?", so your guides wants you to know don't have second doubts you deserve the best, and so will it happen, I also heard this group could be quite creative or have talents or could be skilled in art, music, photography, writing but could suffer from imposter syndrome. I hear your guides telling me to tell you "keep pursuing your dreams, and not holding back" give your best in whatever you do, I also feel they are so proud of you for how far you have come and the progressed you made, I also heard we like how independent you are but sometimes it's okay to lean on someone's shoulder, i truly feel this pile is quite sensitive or just scared of how people perceive them, some of you might have overcome that mentality but some of you needs to work on it, I also heard "say positive affirmations", and do self pep talk, trust me it will do you good! Your Guides will soon reward you for your hard work and the efforts you put in work, so keep going and know you are enough, more than enough!
Wow, pile 1 your guides are so gentle and caring for you and wants what's best for you~
Angel Oracle Cards:
No need to worry - I feel as i said most of you here worry a lot, so your advise to let go of that mindset and be more present in present and do your thing and leave the rest to your angels and guides.
Ask for help from others - Exactly! Didn't I say to not bottle up? That's exactly what i mean , it's okay to ask for help you won't be a burden to your friends or your loved ones!
Trust - Trust in the timing and the divine , what happens will guide you towards the right path!
Pile 2:
(The cards I got for you - knight of swords, 4 of wands and temperance)
Okay so the very first thing i feel and heard is embrace who you are, don't let anyone's perception of you break you down, you are you, unique and loved, so damn them, let them say, because that's just their insecurities projecting on you. Don't let people's words or things get to you. I feel your guides are very straight forward like no sugarcoating things, just tell it as they are. anyhow, i feel that you might have the tendency to protect people or "save them" like fix them, i heard don't do that, it's not your responsibility to do so, The love you give to others, give to yourself too. I also heard "we have more than one surprise for you", "you have been very good, trying to be better, than you previously were, so we want to reward you" Okay so i feel your guides are trying to be mysterious here lol, not telling you but giving you a gist, now it's just up to you to unwrap the present , and know if it's a blessing in disguise, I also feel your guides telling you to be more focused and not having second doubts on the decisions you take, they also want you to be confident, to be open to opportunities, letting it flow, instead of controlling the outcome, some of you here, might have the tendency to do so, I also feel this some people in this pile might be more on a positive side, like taking things as a lesson, and that's what your guides is also proud of they want you to learn, not dwell on past. Anyhow I also feel, new opportunities, including jobs , studies could be on your way, just don't let it slip through your hands, be firm in setting your boundaries, i also feel there would be a certain milestone you all would be receiving. I also heard "be more gentle with yourself", I also feel your guides telling you to embrace the changes and your growth, but also to balance your emotions, not just react but also to look at other person's pov, not everytime, but at times, i also feel this pile could be very spirutual, for you i am also getting that you should guys start to mediate, it will help you in the long run!
Okay so pile two your guides are quite straight forward with you, and gave you messges and advise and they want you think on it and do what your gut tells you to and not doubt yourself too much!
Angel Oracle Cards -
Listen to your intuition - Okay! so this is interesting didn't I say don't doubt your decisions , so this card conveying for you to follow your gut, in situations, because i think this pile could be quite intuitive or almost never wrong!
Forgiveness - your guides wants you to move forward and stop dwelling things that has happened in your life and forgive yourself for anything you could have done intentionally or not intentionally.
Pile 3:
(The cards I got for you - 4 of swords, 7 of swords, the hermit and the king of cups)
Okay so the very first thing i feel is this pile needs REST AND TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES, not just physical rest and sleep but also emotional rest and to take care of your emotional needs, I also feel this pile might be quite introverted but try to give their best to other people, or try to fit in or just want to have some validations at times, from another person, and so i heard "you just need yourself to accept yourself as you are, nobody can do it better than you" I also feel this pile should check out pile 1, could have some messages for you there, I also feel for some of you there might be some two faced people around you, who could have backstabbed you or want to betray you so beware of them, and do enjoy your own company because in the end it's you who you need. I also heard "hope", so i feel there could be a time where you were in darkness like you not knowing something or being completely alone which has for sometimes made you feel that you need company but all i hear from your guides is "being alone is better than in being fake people's company", but anyways, rest is literally required for you, i heard that too many times, i also feel this pile could take too much stress on them so your guides wants you to go easy on yourself, I also heard "give respect the way you receive it", Don't let people know you too much, you already know the truth just accept it. I also feel some of you could lie very well? like other won't know if you are lying or not. But anyhow, I feel this group hasn't unlocked their full potential, but if you focus on your growth and self, i feel it would be easy, i heard your guides saying to "love yourself more, and stop dwelling on other people for your happiness" , I also heard and feel your guides are stern but yet sweet, like a parent lol, I also feel and heard, your guides also wants you look more with in, and find solitude in yourself, "I also heard a journey of self-love", didn't i say your guides asks to love yourself more, and be more gentle and compassionate towards yourself, I also feel water and air energy in this pile sun/moon/rising, especially cancer and gemini, I also feel your guides saying to be more nurturing towards your needs but also to understand yourself more, trust your guidance too!
Okay so pile 3, that was for your messages and advise! Your guides are super nurturing, i felt emotional reading for you~
Angel Oracle Cards -
Peaceful Resolution - Okay so i feel if there is a conflict around your household , your guides want you to cooperate and come on agreement which will be mutually benificial for you and the other part, I also heard "don't lose your cool".
The situation will improve - I feel if the situation around you has been hard i see it getting better for you.
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Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3
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devotion-disorder · 2 months ago
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(resending this bc tumblr said my ask didnt send :(( )
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i fed him your honor!!
god i love ur ocs so much ESPECIALLY Kuuya God I love him so much i need him carnally. he has yet to leave my brain i think about him when i wake up when i go to bed when i shower when i BREATHE oh my god please give me 10 minutes alone with this man i would treat him GOOD i promise!!! (neither of us is walking away a virgin in ANY meaning of the word) i. i would become his boss and give him 2 weeks of paid leave so that i could take him on vacation. id introduce him to my parents. id take him on dates. id give him good morning AND good night kisses (and anything else he would like xoxo) id treat him like the pretty princess he is i promise <33
(also i hope ur doing well and that ur illness completely went away!! ur art is so inspiring to me and ur prolly my favourite artist on here! i wish u the best bc u deserve it friend <33 have a nice day!!)
uohhhhhhhhh thank you for the kind words...!!!!!! <333 Im glad you enjoy kuuya...and I love your drawing of him as a Creature™...he may be sentenced to two billion years in the torture chamber but at least he is full of soup </3 I'm feeling all better now!!! and WOAH I dunno if i deserve all that high praise...please take this Wet Beast for your troubles...
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oristian · 16 days ago
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@azrielappreciationweek Day Four — Paid Time Off
“… Let me show you how proud I am to be yours …”
Azriel has been such a good boy—he deserves a reward on his day off.
ART CREDIT the.angel.incarnate
COMMISSION BY @oristian
PLEASE DO NOT REPOST
ALSO FOUND ON INSTAGRAM (HERE)
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certified-bi · 7 months ago
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Okay all my thoughts because some people have been saying that not supporting this change is not supporting artist and creators and as an artist fuck that.
1. Audiences owe you nothing. You have to convince them to engage with your creation not the other way around. This is something both the nonprofit theatre I work with recognizes and huge companies realize. It's just part of life. There are so many talented people in the world making amazing art, videos, music, writings, and on and on, and there's only so much time in the day. I'm not saying you shouldn't know your worth, just that being flippant about how little you care about those who can't pay isn't a good move. On that note...
2. PR is everything. If you haven't made a visible effort to push patreon, channel memberships or other avenues of making money, don't be suprised that your creation that was previously accessible to those without extra cash and to those who can't support foreign subscriptions due either to conversions or because it simply doesn't work, being made private isn't popular. There's a big leap from "We want to have more artistic control" to "We can't afford to make our content accessible to most of our audience," and people are smart enough to see this. You either have to make budget cuts or give into sponsors. This isn't unique to Watcher, it's part of literally every production from broadway, to Hollywood, to YouTube. Unless you can fund it yourself or get viewers to pay(which given how many are already strapped for cash...) that's life.
Not to mention they simply do not have enough followers to make the switch to a paid only site(dropping the first epsiode only on YouTube isn't going to draw people in, they're just going to say "oh why start if I'm not going to see the rest" and not watch) especially not one that is buggy and a security risk. Even if the switch had been supported its not going to end well. The only reason services like nebula and dropout work is because of the large amount of series and creators and the fact those creators still are partly on YouTube so new people are drawn in.
3. As for the price, 6 dollars a month is a not a good starting price for only their content and that's as someone who pays for nebula. I'd be paying the same amount for a fraction of the access to others work. Actually it'd be twice as much. And before someone says "it's only a coffee-" that's for you. Not everyone has your lifestyle. And with every other patreon and subscription service that says the same thing, it all adds up and I simply don't think 60 dollars for 48 videos a year on a subscription basis where you don't get to keep the videos if your situation changes, some of which don't appeal to every viewer is a good move. If you were able to buy physical copies of your favorite series they've made that'd be different, but that's not what this is.
4. I do believe that the employees deserve a livable wage. I also did not hire them. It is not on the viewers that they hired more people than they could afford to. They can charge that much if they want to to try and balance this out. They also shouldn't be suprised if not many can or will sign up. They also don't have to be based in L.A. L.A has ridiculous costs associated with it, and quite honestly it doesn't really add much to the content. I'm not saying they need to move to the middle of nowhere Kansas. Simply that living and basing your studio in a super expensive city and then being suprised money is tight is just weird.
5. Something that occurs to me is that they might get more views if their playlists were better set up. Only some series are given playlists. It'd be easier to find all of the series and binge them if they didn't just show off their more popular shows. Honestly the only draw the streaming site has to me is that the series are actually labeled well.
Do I think the weird ass energy towards Steven is necessary? No. He's not the only one at the company and they're all adults. I actually liked grocery run and homemade, and like to see them back. The parascoial attachment to Ryan and Shane is annoying in people's criticisms, but that doesn't make them completely wrong. If you're going to brand yourself as the anti capalist underdogs you can't get away with being dismissive of your poorer fans. The dissonance is what is causing this backlash and makes you look like hypocrites. I definitely think Steven is turning into the fall guy which is fucked up, his statement and the fact dish granted is one of those shows that make people uncomfortable about wealth flexs doesn't help matters.
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bitchy-craft · 5 months ago
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PICK A CARD: Let’s hype you up
Hello and welcome to this new post of mine! I will give you a reading in order to hype you up and get that confidence back. I hope you guys enjoy and find this useful!
Masterpost > Paid Readings > Subliminal Channel [NEW]
NOTE: scammer alert, please read. I have recently been scammed and am in financial trouble because of this.
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art: nihorin
~pick a card~
Pile 1:
You are an absolute beast! A queen! Act like it! You are the most gorgeous person on the planet, you have personality and are unique. That is what makes someone a beautiful and amazing personality. Don’t listen to those whimps who haven’t had anyone in their life before; such people don’t deserve even a spark of the energy you possess. They aren’t worth your time and you deserve so much more than what those people have made you believe. They are trash, therefore throw them in the bin.
It is ready to show off the new you; the confident and amazing you. No one is allowed to ever hurt you again, and you will show no matter how hard people try, it will be impossible.
Pile 2:
You are the most intelligent person on this planet, and no matter who tells you that you can’t achieve your dreams; they are lying. Those people who are trying to talk you down are just projecting; they failed to achieve their goals and are jealous they see that potential in you they never had, they want to hold you back because they do not want to see what they lost. They know you have all it takes to reach the sky, to reach further beyond the universe.
Let their words fall off of your shoulders, keep the ones that hype you up. You have potential, see it and believe it. Be convinced that what you want to reach is reachable, know that what you want you will get; and before you know it you will have it.
Pile 3:
It is okay to look at the past but don’t you dare hold yourself back because of it. You are more than what has happened, you are more than what you have made yourself believe. You are worth the love, worth the dreams, worth the care and worth the attention; you deserve everything by simply being you, nothing else is needed, absolutely nothing.
Forgive yourself and stop being hard on yourself, you do not need to be mean to yourself, you do not need to be punished even more than you already have been punished. You are beautiful and gorgeous; you are a queen that should be on top of the world, so act like it.
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fans4wga · 1 year ago
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'Why creatives are seeking residuals' - thread by Stefanie Williams
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[Tweet thread by Stefanie Williams @/StefWilliams25
TRANSCRIPT:
Why creatives are seeking residuals vs. "do you pay the mattress maker every time you sleep on a mattress?" A thread. I keep hearing over and over again that writers/actors/creatives don't deserve residuals for the work they create. "If I build a bathroom in a house, I don't get paid every time someone uses the toilet."
TRUE! However, your bathroom build has a set market value. Art does not. No one knows what makes one TV show an overnight success, and another a flop. No one knows what makes one song a hit, and the other a dud. If they did, trust me when I say record companies would be churning out Taylor Swifts over and over again. Studios would be making nothing but Stranger Things.
But that isn't the case. No one could predict Stranger Things would be a massive, billion dollar hit. No one could predict Taylor Swift was going to be a world wide phenomenon who literally could record herself reading Aesop's Fables and make millions of dollars. Which is why residuals are important. The pay structure protects both the creators and the publishers/distributors.
The easiest way to explain it is by referencing an author writing a book. Sure, an author might get a very modest up front fee, but the author is banking on royalties to really make money on the book — for every book sold, the author gets a piece of the pie. This protects both the author and the publisher—because if the book is a flop, the publisher doesn't go broke on a financial promise they made to the author that didn't pan out, and if the book is a mega-hit, the author didn't give away a massive, million-dollar book for 20k.
It's a sliding scale that is required for a product that has no set market value. What makes an actor's work on a hit show more valuable than an actor's work on a show that gets canned after five episodes? The market value for art almost always comes after the fact, so residuals account for that reality. They make sure the creator get compensated at a fair market rate. A person who builds a bathroom knows, upfront, what the market rate for a bathroom is. That bathroom won't suddenly be worth 1000 times more than you built it for in six months. It doesn't have the potential to be built for 20k and generate 20 million.
Residuals are a pay structure that simply account for an unsure market value. Trust me, we all wish we could quantify art in terms of dollars. But art is unpredictable. So studios and streamers -- which literally REQUIRE content to stay viable -- have to account for that unpredictability. And for studios (or record labels, or book publishers) it's always trial and error. The only way to get a hit, is to go through a few flops.
For every Whitney Houston, there was a singer you never heard of. For every Sopranos, there was a show that got scrapped mid season. For every Titanic, there was a movie that bombed. For every Twilight, there was a book about vampires that went nowhere. Residuals are kind of a reverse market valuation. They pay a fair wage for a product than can only have a set value once it's been created and effectively consumed.
And even then, shit changes. Anyone think Kate Bush would spend weeks on the top of the charts in 2022? Residuals account for unpredictable markets. And in order to have accurate residuals, streamers and studios need to be transparent and open about their data, which is one of the MANY things the WGA and SAG are both fighting for.
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captainsophiestark · 7 months ago
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Picture Perfect
Benedict Bridgerton x Reader
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Masterlist - Join My Taglist!
Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)
Fandom: Bridgerton
Summary: Benedict's childhood best friend, who he's recently started courting, notices he's been a bit off lately and decides to see if there's anything she can do to help.
Word Count: 3,045
Category: Fluff, a little bit of Angst
A/N: It's been a minute since I rewatched season 2, so I may have the timing wrong a bit. For the purposes of this fic, though, Benedict finds out that Anthony paid to make sure he got into art school at the same time that they're all at the Bridgerton's country estate.
Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.
Something was wrong with my best friend.
I could tell from the minute I saw him, as his mind was clearly somewhere else. He also gave his brother Anthony a colder shoulder than usual, which I knew Anthony likely deserved, but that Benedict rarely gave him. It must've been something pretty bad.
A few years ago, I wouldn't have hesitated to drag Benedict somewhere and get some answers out of him, followed by doing whatever I could to cheer him up. But unfortunately for the both of us, despite having grown up together, now that we were both adults in society and he had recently started courting me, we were no longer technically allowed to be alone together. Things were usually a bit looser when it was just the Bridgertons and I, but while I'd joined them for a trip to their country estate, another family had joined us as well, tying my hands more than usual.
Still, I managed to corner him slightly away from the rest of the group after dinner that night, when I'd first noticed something off. He'd been on his way upstairs, rather than joining the rest of us in the parlor after dinner, and I managed to get in front of him quickly enough to make him stop in the hallway.
"Benedict," I said, trying to keep my voice low. He let out a long, deep sigh, but didn't move to step past me, instead fixing me with a tired stare. I frowned. "What's wrong?"
He shook his head. "It's... nothing."
I put my hands on my hips and raised an eyebrow.
"Benedict Bridgerton, I have known you since the age of five. There is no chance of that terrible lie convincing me of anything, besides perhaps that I made the right decision about checking on you."
He sighed again, this time even heavier, and when he met my gaze again it was with an empty smile that didn't reach his eyes.
"You remeber I shared my excitement with you about being accepted into art school?"
"Of course! Don't tell me something went wrong..."
He shook his head. "The opposite. Apparently my dear brother took it upon himself to make sure I got in, offering a bribe to secure my acceptance. Yet again, I fail to step out of my family's shadow and generate an accomplishment of my own, without their name and money securing it for me."
I frowned and reached out to touch his arm, but Eloise's voice from the other room promising to find where I'd wandered off to broke the moment. Benedict mustered that hollow smile again, then finally stepped around me.
"I'll be fine, I promise. Don't worry about me. Just go enjoy the rest of your evening."
I frowned after him, but he didn't look back as he climbed the stairs and disappeared onto the second floor. I briefly debated following him, but Eloise's hand on my elbow broke me from that thought.
"Y/N, what on earth are you doing out here? You're missing Kate and Anthony sparring over something trivial again."
I forced a smile onto my face that was hopefully more convincing than Benedict's and turned to face Eloise.
"Well, that's certainly something I don't want to miss. Let's go."
Eloise still looked like she had questions, but I didn't give her room to ask them as I joined the rest of our group in the parlor. Benedict stayed on my mind for the rest of the night, although I tried to hide my worry. Hopefully he'd been right about himself, and would be feeling better in the morning.
*****************
Benedict clearly wasn't feeling better in the morning. I was witnessing the man I loved having an existential crisis, and by the afternoon, I decided I couldn't sit by an watch anymore, society and the Ton and the gossips be damned.
I spent the next hour gathering and setting up the things I'd need, then went to find Benedict. He wasn't anywhere to be seen in the house, so I asked Eloise, who directed me to his bedroom.
I'd been in his bedroom before, of course, since we'd practically grown up together. But now that we'd started on the path to being something else to each other, with my heart registsering significantly more romantic feelings for the man Benedict had become, I found myself slightly nerovous as I stood outside his door. Still, I forced myself to ignore the nerves as best I could. Benedict was hurting, so everything else had to be put on hold while I helped him.
I knocked on his door, pretending my faster-than-normal heartbeat didn't exist as I waited for a response. That became much harder to accomplish when Benedict opened the door, his shirt far more open than normal and without anything over it, hair looking a rumpled mess. My heart did backflips, despite me mentally telling it to calm down.
"Y/N! I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you. I must look a mess-"
"No, not at all!" I said much too quickly. "You look, uh... very nice."
The familiar lopsided smile I loved so much appeared on Benedict's face as he leaned on the doorframe before me. He raised an eyebrow, the familiar spark of mischief that I loved so dearly igniting in his eyes, and for the first time in more than a day, he looked to be slightly back to himself.
"Well, I'm very glad to hear you think so. What brings you to my door, then?"
"You haven't seemed to be doing very well since you got the news about Anthony. And don't try to deny it, I know you too well. So, I thought I'd come find you and try to help cheer you up."
Benedict's eyebrow rose again as he crossed his arms.
"And what exactly did you have in mind?"
"I'll show you. But we're going to have to be a bit sneaky about leaving."
Benedict's mood lifted the moment he found out we were going to sneak out of the house together. We'd been regular trouble makers as children, sneaking out for adventures at least once a week, but since we'd both grown up that had basically come to a stop. Now, as I took his hand and dragged him along behind me and we ran through the countryside and left Bridgerton House in our wake, I couldn't stop a wild laugh from bubbling out of my chest. I'd missed this much more than I'd wanted to admit.
"Where are we going?" Benedict called, his own voice breathy and laced with laughter as we ran. I just shot him a grin back over my shoulder.
"You'll see!"
He huffed, but didn't protest as he followed after me. Finally, after winding through the woods and climbing a rather steep hill, we reached the spot I'd spent so long making nice this morning.
This hilltop looked out over the countryside stretching beautifully below us, even better now as the sun had started to get a bit lower in the sky. Waiting for us was a picnic blanket spread out in the grass with all of our favorite foods, wine, and an easel with art supplies set up right next to it. I dropped Benedict's hand as we came to a stop, instead turning to face him with a grin.
"Well? What do you think?"
He stared at everything I'd laid out, mouth open slightly in shock. His brow furrowed when he saw the canvas, and he turned back to me.
"What is all this?"
"It's a picnic, for the two of us," I said. "To watch the scenery and the sunset together without the pressures of society or being a Bridgerton to bring us down. The easel is optional–we can pack it away right now if you want to. But you told me you think Anthony's the reason you got into art school, and I don't agree. I've seen your work, and I know just how good it is. You got in on merit, Benedict. But I know I can't just say that and have you believe it, so I brought some supplies here so you can prove it, if you want to. Paint this moment for the two of us, and I'll swear on our relationship and everything I hold dear to be honest about what I think. Completely, totally, brutally honest."
Benedict's eyebrow quirked again.
"Well, I don't know if brutal is completely necessary..."
"I mean it, Ben. I hate to see you like this, doubting yourself. So if there's something I can do to counter Anthony's idiotic meddling, I'd like to."
"And what if..." He cleared his throat, emotion swirling in his gorgeous brown eyes as he met my gaze. "What if the truth would only serve to enforce what I know? That Anthony's meddling and money is the only reason I've gotten where I am."
I shook my head. "That won't happen-"
"Y/N." I stopped, biting my lip and forcing myself to meet Ben's stare again. He took a few steps forward until we were right in front of each other, then took my hands gently in his own. "What if it does?"
I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. "Then I will keep my word and tell you so. One way or another, I will tell you the truth, even if it may not be what I want to tell you. I swear it, Ben."
He nodded slowly, eyes scanning my face. We stayed like that for a few long moments, and briefly, I thought Benedict might make a move to do something I never though he'd do with the Ton hovering over both our shoulders whenever we were together. But then he sighed, a smile returning to his face as he stepped away.
"Alright then. I believe you, and I value your opinion. And since you went to all the trouble to drag these supplies up here in the first place... I may as well get started."
I beamed at him. "I'll pour us some wine."
"Please."
When Benedict first sat down at his canvas, he kept fidgeting nervously, his hands hovering and twitching over various paints and brushes as he second-guessed his decisions. But slowly, as I kept up a stream of conversataion, supplying him with food and drink for fuel as he needed it, I noticed him beginning to relax.
"This is nice," I mused, leaning back on the picnic blanket and looking out at the scenery as Benedict worked. The sun had gotten much lower in the sky than when we'd left, which Benedict had grumbled about as it impacted his painting. Still, the golden light, soft breeze, and warm, fresh air felt like heaven to me.
"I agree," he said, not taking his eyes away from his easel. "I missed running off on adventures with you at the drop of a hat."
"So did I. But, hopefully... we may be able to get back to that again sometime soon."
Benedict looked over at me from his easel, a rougish grin on his face.
"If I didn't know better, Lady Y/L/N, I would think you were boardering on making me a marriage proposal."
I faced forward and closed my eyes under the guise of feeling the sun, trying to ignore my heart pumping frantically in my chest.
"Well. Fortunately for us both, you do know better. And it's not as if you're some strange man I met at court. You're... Ben. My best friend."
"I never said I wouldn't like it, did I? It would be an honor to be proposed to by you."
I cracked one eye open, turning my head to face Benedict with a grin. He wasn't looking at me, his stare focused on his canvas, his face completely serious. My heart stopped threatening to explode out of my chest, and instead settled into the unique, glowing warmth of love I felt whenever Benedict and I were together.
"I love you, Ben," I said, my voice soft and quiet. He stopped his work completely to turn and look at me, a soft smile on his face.
"I love you too. Very, very much." We held each others' stares for a moment, soaking in the comfort and joy of being together, and then Benedict's smile turned into a more edged grin. "It's a good thing we feel so strongly, since we may just be forced into an earlier marriage than planned to avoid a scandal after disappearing for an entire afternoon and evening together."
I huffed and waved him off. "Fortunately, I predict your brother will be accidentally helping us and making up for causing this crisis of confidence in the first place. He and Miss Kate Sharma are so ridiculous and dramatic together, I highly doubt anyone will notice we're gone."
Benedict chuckled, turning back to his work to scan it one last time before finally setting down his paintbrush. He took a deep breath, then stood and offered a hand to me.
"I've finished," he announced as I took his hand. He pulled my to my feet, but instead of looking at the painting, my eyes stayed fixed on him. We were almost chest to chest, and I could tell from his furrowed brows and darting eyes just how nervous he was about my verdict. "Remember, you promised me honesty."
"And honesty you will get."
Finally, I turned from Benedict to the canvas he'd been working on all afternoon. I'd resisted peeking before now at his request, so I wouldn't have any bias from watching his process. Fortunately, just as I'd predicted, his work was magnificent.
"Benedict..." I breathed as I took in the soft lines and vibrant colors before me. It perfectly captured how I felt looking out at the valley before us; it captured the gorgeous scenery, yes, but it also infused everything with a bit of magic that I only felt in this space with him. "This is absolutely incredible."
Benedict came around to stand next to me, arms crossed. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught him shaking his head.
"Now please don't forget, you promised me honesty."
"I am being honest! Benedict, this is fantastic. The way you capture the myriad of different shades of the light shining across the valley, the seamless lines giving the world a slightly hazy, dreamlike look, and the way you've left the paint a bit messier with the clouds, to make it look like they're moving? It's all perfect, Ben. And masterful. It's a picture of the valley, yes, but it looks like it's alive. And you somehow managed to capture what it feels like to be here in the moment together, the sun on our faces, with each other even when we're not supposed to be, in a truly special way. You're an incredibly talented artist, and I'd be saying that even if you were a complete stranger that I didn't particularly like."
He snorted, then after a second, wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me to his chest. I leaned into him immediately, sighing a bit as he leaned his head against mine.
"I have a hard time believing you'd say all that to a stranger you didn't like."
I rolled my eyes and elbowed him in the stomach, and he laughed without letting me go. A smile spread on my own face despite myself.
"Alright, maybe I wouldn't say all that to a stranger I didn't like. But I'd say it about their work when they couldn't hear me, probably to you. My point stands, Ben. You are a very skilled and talented artist. Anthony isn't the reason you got into that school. You are."
His chest rose and fell with a long, deep breath, and then finally, I felt him nod.
"Thank you. I can't promise it will always be easy for me to always believe it, but... I'll try to remember your words, and not my brother's, from now on."
"Good. And if you feel down again, you can always come to me. I'll always be there for you, Benedict, whenever you need me."
"And I you, my love," he said, moving down to whisper the words in my ear as he wrapped his other arm around my waist, too. He kissed my cheek, and I leaned back into his chest for a moment before turning around in his arms to face him.
The beautiful, kind smile I'd fallen in love with stared back at me, along with his warm brown eyes. I smiled too, then finally stopped ignoring my racing heart and decided to continue the theme of ignoring the Ton and what they might say.
I leaned into Benedict, closing the distance between us with a glance at his lips before meeting his eyes again. Both of his eyebrows shot up, but he didn't pull away.
"Y/N... if anyone found out..."
I smiled. "They won't. Besides, they'd just make us follow through on something we're already planning, anyway."
Benedict huffed a laugh, his eyelids fluttering a bit as he looked at me like he couldn't believe I was real. Then, his arms tightened around my waist, and he leaned in even closer. I closed my eyes, feeling Benedict stop just a hair's breadth away from my lips.
"Are you sure-"
I closed the distance myself before he could continue. Benedict smiled into the kiss a moment later, pulling me closer to him, the two of us locked in each others' embrace as the sun set in the hills behind us. Truly, I didn't think anyone would be able to find out about how we'd spent our afternoon, but I also truly didn't care. I loved Benedict, and even though it was technically early in our courtship, I'd known him for most of my life. I knew we were meant to spend our lives together, and I knew he felt the same way as I did. Sooner or later, we'd make it official with an engagement and marriage, and be able to disappear together whenever we wanted without the Ton batting an eyelash. But, in the meantime, I didn't mind sneaking away for private moments like this one bit. No matter what had led to it in the first place.
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