#you constantly want validation bc that’s what motivates you

[flamedoesart]

Being an artist sucks sometimes.

[todayscalss]

some experiences of mine being sk1nny to keep you motivated

first of all I want to clarify that i’m “irl skinny”, at bmi 18.9. I still haven’t even gotten close to reaping the real benefits of pretty/sk1nny privilege, but I know that to other people’s standards I look pretty well. this is just some light motivation that could help a ho out there who still hasn’t gotten to the healthy weight range🙏🏻

1. I live in a fairly “expensive” neighborhood, and omg the LOOKS that these Range Rover almond moms give me when I go for a walk😭 Their validation hits different

2. I actually enjoy going out much more as a skinnier person than when I was heavier. I feel better in my outfits and have to worry far less about being bloated by the night. Plus, in my country it’s very common to go out with very short clothes, so there’s a lot of pressure that I can luckily live up to.

3. Getting very obvious looks. I remember this one time I was at the mall and I saw a girl looking straight at my abdomen and she instantly covered hers. It was kind of a reflex. I lowkey felt bad (and I didn’t even look good that day😭) but it was also insanely validating

4. Being told by my friends “you could totally rock this outfit” when they see a cute fit on tiktok or Pinterest. It’s even more validating when it’s an outfit with low rise jeans or really cropped tops

5. When I had to get sent on an ambulance to the hospital, my mom told me that the medic who came to pick me up said I looked VERY th1n. felt so good coming from a healthcare worker

6. When I went grocery shopping in mid rise jeans and a very cropped t-shirt, and an old lady looked straight at me and went “i was supposed to look like that”. I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HER SHE JUST SAID IT STRAIGHT TO MY FACE😭 and I also wasn’t even that th1n at the time

7. Being constantly told “you should become a model”. Tbf i’m tall which adds up a lot to this, but I keep hearing people genuinely telling me this all the time. I’ve also been asked by friends of friends that are studying fashion (who i barely even know) if I wanted to model their clothes several times

8. Tank tops. That’s it. With crop tops I feel disgusting most of the time, but long tight fitting tank tops are my BEST FRIENDS. They make you look sm like a model and give you such a nice figure

9. Just saying, you WILL piss off your friends. I always try to not vocalize how I feel about my body to them bc they hate it and think I’m fishing for compliments. Once you’re sk1nny you’ll have to keep those insecurities to yourselves girlies sorry to break it to u!!

10. For the longest time I had no idea what the hell ppl meant by th!gh g4ps cause it just wasn’t an issue for me

11. The reality is that we live in a society that’s insanely evil to fat people. Don’t hate me for saying this, but it sort of feels like a relief whenever I see posts on the internet of people being made fun of for it, knowing that i come out the other side.

[canisalbus]

hello! i've been thinking about asking about this detail of machete for a while now and figured i'd just go for it, it sounds quite dark but it isn't my intention for it to i'm just really intrigued by his character and want to learn more about it yknow? essentially, with all the hardship machete faces, long before he meets vasco i mean, why does he continue to have such a drive to keep going? (when it'd be so easy to give up long before he meets vasco) what drives him to strive to do so well (in terms of succeeding not, well-being wise) essentially, in the path he is handed? it isn't that i do not find this believable and that there aren't many possible motivators bc i do see that wholeheartedly which is specifically why i am just very curious as to what specifically motivates him in his youngest years you know? does that make sense? i know you've mentioned guilt and perfectionism, are those already his driving forces? does it go deeper than that? is it simply not that deep, etc? (ps. much love for the creation of your storyline and your characters, it's immaculate, and your art illustrates all of it so well, it gets across exactly the things you intend to me)

I think guilt and perfectionism definitely play a big part in his drive to be successful, but the main motivator is probably his low self-esteem. He's overcompensating to a pathological degree, he needs to convince everyone, including God and himself, that he's not weak, stupid and useless. He was somewhat neglected and eventually abandoned by his birth family and since then he's been seeking approval and validation from outside sources, the more esteemed person the better. He's not highborn, particularly talented or good looking, but I like to think he's naturally inquisitive and academically oriented so being the smartest, most educated person in the room just gradually became his objective in life. He was also extremely hardworking right from the start. Many of his teachers regarded him as an exemplary student with great potential, but behind the scenes he was sacrificing much of his health and wellbeing to keep up that "gifted kid" image, constantly fearing of not living up to their expectations and failing everyone who had ever believed in him. As a grown man he continues to measure his worth by his achievements which leads to stress and overworking, but also rapid and impressive career progression. I believe he goes through multiple burnouts before he snaps for good.

[emmabirb8]

I've been an Invader Zim fan since 2011.

I was 15-16 at that time, and though I did thoroughly enjoy the show, I was not mature enough to really get it. Sure, it was funny, but I didn't pick up on the subtleties and style of humor beyond the surface level. I liked the wackiness and the characters, but I SURELY wasn't at a point of being able to deconstruct themes or analyze character motivations and narratives (like I very much enjoy doing now). I remember discovering an artist on DeviantArt who drew cute ZaGr stuff, so that was the pairing I liked too. I didn't think too deeply about much, and honestly, I don't think the majority of fans (if they were my age or younger, that is) did either. Everything was taken as dumb and silly for the most part, and that IS truthfully a major component of the show itself.

Getting back into Invader Zim within this past year though, I'm looking at it through a WILDLY different lens. I like Invader Zim for what it is and how it's intended to be perceived. I like that the show is meant to be dark, satirical, and tragic at the same time that it's silly, chaotic, and nonsensical. Almost everything that happens onscreen is written in to be funny above all else. (I've mentioned before that I've been watching Jhonen's Twitch streams for a while now, and I have a MUCH better understanding of his sense of humor bc of that. IZ makes way more sense if you can sorta see things from JV's perspective, lol.)

But at the same time, I also like Invader Zim for what it offers in terms of interpretation and what it can imply (intentionally or not). There is genuinely SO MUCH DEPTH to this dorky lil cartoon that a casual viewer wouldn't immediately pick up on. And a lot of that depth, I think, was not woven in purposely. The show itself was never meant to be taken so seriously. Nevertheless, I'm constantly fascinated by what IZ implies about good and evil, the nature of general society, and especially how it goes about demonstrating the devastating effects of social isolation and bullying. Meta for this series is always pretty damn *chef's kiss.* And what's even more interesting is how viewers manipulate canon to expand upon this world and these characters.

Given that I've come to understand Invader Zim better, I've also grown very fond of ZaDr. Now, while I wouldn't want to see this pairing happen in canon material, I love the potential it possesses in transformative contexts.

In reality, I get that these characters were intended to have a deep hatred for one another and a never-ending rivalry for the sake of comedy and not much else. It's an extraterrestrial perpetually throwing hands with a 12 year old because he's incompetent and his plans often fail. And that's funny. That's the point. But beyond that, canonically, these are two characters who are mirrors of each other; they're both treated like garbage by their respective peers, and they both crave acknowledgment, validation, and a sense of purpose. Throughout their story, they find they're only able to obtain these things from each other, so as a consequence of their similar personalities, they become utterly, unhingedly obsessed with each other (to a sometimes unhealthy degree). They are undeniably forever intertwined by design of how the show is set up.

And because of that, shipping of these characters was, frankly, inevitable in fandom spaces. I myself fell victim to their appeal too. (Sorry, Jhonen. 😅)

I'm not gonna go into any discourse surrounding this pairing because there's already PLENTY of that to go around online. Everyone has their own opinion on the subject, and that's fine. I respect that. Point is, even though I understand and appreciate what Zim and Dib are supposed to be in the context of the show, I also enjoy the idea of them as friends and romantic partners outside of and beyond the confines of canon.

And that's something that I think many fans who are biased toward ZaDr would also agree with! Actually, I'd say the majority of people who ship characters in ANY media would concur. We like the idea of seeing how specific relationships could develop over time and/or within different settings and circumstances. It's NOT always about wanting to see a relationship unfold on screen or in fan works strictly adhering to canon. It's about stretching canon, or in some cases, scratching canon entirely however you see fit! Who cares! It's fiction!

For me personally, I enjoy ZaDr because its attributes fall into so many trope categories that I've come to adore over the years (ones that I either wasn't aware of when I was younger, or that I didn't enjoy in the same intensity as I do now). Zim and Dib are, or could be, depending on context:

Codependent toxic soulmates

Human x non-human

Shared history

Classic enemies to lovers (or, as I often prefer it, enemies to friends to lovers)

Bicker couple

Battle couple, when put in the right setting for it

Violence as a love language

Smol and tol

The wild card paired with the rational one, the best part about this being that sometimes the more rational one is Dib, and sometimes it's Zim bc they're both a special flavor of insane

Make each other worse/stupider when together, tho oddly, they also kinda bring out the best in each other too

And, my personal favorites, the potential for hurt/comfort and angst with a happy ending, with the comfort and happiness aspects ultimately coming from each other

I like what these characters could be, to and for each other, apart from their roles in the show.

I would never want to explore a dynamic between Zim and Dib that goes beyond "frenemies" territory in canon (because that doesn't fit what the show is, and I do appreciate the integrity of Jhonen's vision). The subtle foundation for them is there, it's just that it can't really work unless a few key details are changed or manipulated, and, well...

I sure as hell like exploring every bit of that expanded potential in fan works because it's fun to imagine the various directions things could go if they were different!

This isn't me, like... trying to defend my (or anyone else's) enjoyment of this particular ship or trying to convince people to like it. Or the show for that matter! To each their own, truly. And I'm obv aware of the controversy ZaDr often incites and why. Everyone has valid reasons for liking OR not liking it, and I accept differing viewpoints on it. It's a touchy, nuanced subject to be sure. But this isn't about that.

I don't really know what this is, actually, aside from a very long very weird essay, lol. I just wanted to process why and how all of this works for me with my changed perspective from when I was first introduced to Invader Zim in my teens up until now.

It's strange, looking back. I didn't get ZaDr years ago. But I do now, and so much of it, at least from my perspective, has to do with taking the crumbs present in canon (that are undeniably there, whether you choose to acknowledge them or not, and whether they're intentional or not) and absolutely running with them to the ends of your own wild imagination.

(ZaDr content is always tagged appropriately on my blog. Pls use tag blocking functions if needed.)

[infiniteorangethethird]

I've been wanting to put my thoughts abt my experiences as a loveless aroapl into words for a while now, and finally I got the chance to sit down and actually write out all my ideas. Obligatory I don't speak for the entire community and these are just my personal experiences; long post ahead.

First of all, there could be many different meanings to the label loveless, depending on who is the one using it. To me, loveless means that I literally do not experience love, that I do not experience the emotions other people seem to define as love. I do experience strong emotions (though some loveless ppl might not, which is also completely valid), but I identify none of them as love.

The reason I've decided to use the loveless label for myself is because after watching people around me for a long while, I've come to the conclusion that I just simply don't feel the same way about other ppl as they do. I hear my friends talk about how much they missed me after we don't see each other for a while, about how much they wish we had more free time so that we could meet more frequently. I see my long-distance friends with whom we only get to see each other once a year desperately trying to find a time we are all free so that we could meet. I get invited to outings with friends before we even have a plan of what we want to do bc to them, the fact that we're spending time together is more important than what we're actually doing.

Thing is, I do enjoy spending time with people. There are a lot of things, activities, that are more fun (or just straight up made possible) if done with others instead of alone. I also enjoy the safety having a network of people around you can give. But at the same time, I've never really felt any pull towards specific people. I enjoy spending time with people in general, but my interest is a lot more directed at the activities we do together and the general concept of not doing it alone instead of the people involved. At the end of the day I don't care much about who those people are, so long as they are decent and aren't actively ruining the experience.

That isn't to say I'm an asshole to them, though. I know very well that friendships (and relationships in general) require a certain level of care in both directions, usually involving spending time together, and just generally being there for the other. I do want my friends to be happy, I do want to make them happy, but it's not really out of an emotional desire to make them specifically happy, rather a more general inner drive to be good to people. I will put in the effort to socialize, to spend time with people, to listen to them and be there for them emotionally bc I know that's what it takes to maintain a relationship, but it's always going to be somewhat impersonal and more I do out of duty than out of an emotional drive to get closer to them.

And yet, the fact that the general population does seem to have this emotional drive while I never felt anything like it made me feel for the longest time that there was something wrong with me. That not feeling the correct way about my friends is making me somehow evil for tricking them into thinking I was actually their friend, and not some kind of monster who was just using their kindness against them - and it's hard not to feel that way. We live in a society that assumes and constantly reinforces the idea that not only is love the purest emotion, but also the only thing a relationship can be based on. Any relationship that doesn't have love at its core is worthless or meaningless, and if you deliberately enter a relationship as a loveless person you are a bad person and the relationship is inherently toxic. It doesn't matter what you actually do, or what feelings might motivate it - if it's not out of love, it's bad.

In this framework, being loveless means no matter how hard you try, you will just never be enough. It isn't enough to be kind or generous or caring, you MUST love the other, and if they find out you don't, there's a really good chance they will take it as a personal attack and break contact with you, even if before they called you their best friend.

It was this pressure that made me pick up the loveless label. For too long have I felt like I wasn't doing enough, like I was missing something, like I wasn't trying hard enough to feel love. I kept beating myself up over not feeling the correct emotions, but unsurprisingly, this did not make me more capable of love. It just made me hate myself for the way I existed. But the moment I accepted myself as loveless? All of that pressure was gone. I learnt that emotions don't inherently make an action morally better or worse, and that at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you feel so long as you do the right thing. People don't actually see your emotions, only your actions.

Of course, I still struggle with making and keeping friends. Turns out it is rather difficult to maintain a relationship when you don't have an innate drive towards people; then put on that extra layer of autism and low empathy and you got a recipe for disaster. Still, that doesn't mean I don't try, because I do want to be around people, and I do want those people to be happy to be around me, even if it means I have to put in the extra effort to connect with them that to most ppl comes naturally.

I know this turned out to be pretty long but I wanted to elaborate on these thoughts to give them justice as best as I could. Loveless is still a label most people either don't know or are very confused about, and I just hope I could shed some light on the experience for those who are still unfamiliar with it.

I'm open to answering (good faith) questions, but please remember that I am still just one guy and can't speak on behalf of the whole community.

(Other loveless ppl, feel free to add on your own experiences as well, I'd love to hear about them!)

[thatsexcpisces]

Positive and negative traits of the moon signs

Aries moon

Positive:

Protective, resilient, is able to confront issues immediately instead of being passive, tells you what you need to hear, highly passionate and spontaneous, believe in themselves, confident in their decisions, bring excitement to any atmosphere, live in the moment, courageous, bold

Negative:

Over competitive, chaotic, short-tempered, rushes things instead of letting them occur naturally, impulsive, moves past their emotions too quickly, jealous over partners, explosive episodes of anger, cocky, selfish, want things done their own way, can’t rationalize correctly when upset, restless, impatient

Taurus moon

Positive:

Reliable, encourages you to go after your desires, very committed and loyal once they care, calm and gentle approach, independent, excellent skill set, good listeners, elegant, will spoil you with your favorite things, patient, connected to nature, complete things at a steady pace, sensible, always improving themselves, grounded

Negative:

Doesn’t change their mind easily, can be unnecessary rude towards others they don’t deem as “important” or just bc they don’t know them well, stubborn, overly possessive, difficulty in trusting, can’t accept the truth, bad coping strategies, lack of drive and motivation (mostly it undeveloped), struggle to be optimistic, petty, heavily attached to others and material possessions

Gemini moon

Positive:

Knows how to include others in the convo, carefree, can talk about anything, witty, outgoing, flexible/adapts easily to surroundings, has a signature personality that stands out, well-informed & intelligent, don’t take things to heart, well-liked, approachable, curious, find positive qualities in the small things

Negative:

Gossipy, unreliable, unpredictable, self-deprecating, inability to accept or directly deal with emotions, inconsistent with their decisions, over thinkers, nervous, unorganized thoughts and behaviors, difficult to understand, short attention span/not good at listening, can be immature/childish, overly-rational

Cancer moon

Positive:

sacrifices anything for their loved ones, comforting and gentle, incredibly loyal, supports everyone’s emotional needs, in tune with their sentiments and feelings, make others feel loved, nurturing, positive relationship with others, uses instinct, good at using their resources, forgiving of others

Negative:

moodiness, can go cold and aggressive when overly upset, secretive, holds grudges, unable to leave comfort zone, takes things personally, clingy, isolates themselves, may lack balance in their lives, trouble expressing themselves because they feel so much, focus on one bad aspect instead of looking at the bigger picture

Leo moon

Positive:

Super loyal, always hyping people up and making them feel good about themselves, romantic, always listening to the needs of others, generous, creative & expressive, welcoming, energy that makes others feel happy and included, finds happiness in tiny things, talented performers, know their self worth, can effortlessly cheer others up when sad, inspiring, trendy

Negative:

overly jealous, always need to be everyone’s favorite, can’t handle criticism, bossy, constantly seeking validation, possessive, prideful, over-dramatic, cares what others think, impatient, superiority complex, overly attached to their close ones, mean to others when they aren’t receiving enough attention, unrealistic expectations/standards are too high

Virgo moon

Positive:

does literally anything for those they care about, finds solutions easily, level-headed, trustworthy, always helping and lending a hand to others, logical way of thinking, organized and sticks to a routine, compassionate, puts effort into their work, classy, organized, faithful to those they love

Negative:

critical and judgmental, impulsively offers their opinions, bottles things up, takes their attitude out on others, controlling, hard on themselves, inexpressive, perfectionists, dry, grandiosity, overly anxious about everything, low self esteem, may be inconsiderate towards others emotions, blameful

Libra moon

Positive:

charming, knows how to make others feel comfortable, artistic, love being around others, good at maintaining harmony most times, social, good taste for aesthetics, always caring of others esp their friends, affectionate, they make sure to include everyone, optimistic

Negative:

lazy, liars (mostly to protect others), project a false identity in fear of being judged for being themselves, people-pleasing, using others for specific intentions, avoidant and incapable of confronting their problems, overly-forgiving, always want things to go their way, passive-aggressive, inconsistent

Scorpio moon

Positive:

Protective of their loved ones, intuitive, makes others feel understood, intimate and knows how to connect with you on a deeper level, authentic, smart, knows how to stand up for themselves, unique sense of humor, passionate, magnetic, loyal, they keep their word, dedicated

Negative:

possessive, gets angry easily, dwells on things for a long time, jealous, secretive, always expects the bad out of a situation or person, manipulative, complain about someone’s actions and then does the same to them, suspicious of everything, self-destructive, attaches themselves to toxic behaviors or people, gives too many chances without realizing it

Sagittarius moon

Positive:

Funny, tells you the truth, adventurous, always find the positive in everything, cheerful, will stick up for you, isn’t worried about what others think, spiritual, direct, open and shares things about themselves with others, good at self-expression, go-with-the-flow people, adaptable, knows what they want

Negative:

detached, hides emotions with humor, can be too nonchalant, unable to focus on one thing at once because they’re always looking for what comes next, overly blunt, hurts others feelings without thinking before they speak, inconsiderate, overly opinionated, easily irritable

Capricorn moon

Positive:

Dependable, hardworking, use their time productively, calm in tough situations, ambitious, caring of others, calculated, mature, good at being a leader, analyzes all sides of a situation, gift givers, supports others’ goals, honest, able to recover quickly

Negative:

pessimistic, withdrawn, easily offended, cares too much about their reputation/cares about how others perceive them, difficulty in connecting with their emotions, hides things, hate sharing with others, always has to be the best at everything, condescending, degrading, tendency to overwork themselves, strict, criticize themselves

Aquarius moon

Positive:

non-judgemental, intelligent, cares about their peers and community, open-minded, fun, unique, always coming up with creative ideas, trendsetter, don’t hold grudges, friendly, able to read the room easily, confident in themselves, innovative, observant, conversationalists

Negative:

god complex, stubborn, emotionally detached, uses too much logic and almost no instinct, forget about things easily, absent in others lives because of their love for freedom, try to hard to prove their originality, may struggle with understanding others emotions because of their rational approach, dismissive, cold, aloof, trouble allowing others to get close to them, indecisive

Pisces moon

Positive:

sweet, feel others emotions deeply/empathic, forgiving and understanding, artistic abilities, creative imagination, highly intuitive, heal others, peaceful, love people for who they are and what they mean to them, not afraid to be directed by their emotions, can fit in with other and environments easily, know how to read others like a book, gentle, comforting

Negative:

gives people too many chances, escapists, over idealizes toxic things/people, delusional, sacrifice too much of themselves, carry pain as a result of absorbing others energy, inability to take responsibility for their actions, victims, take things personally, inactive, distracted, heavy ego, flaky, alcoholics/struggle with addictions, woe is me, get nervous easily, detached

[mistershr1mp]

Sorry one last thing. It is actually driving me insane how dense people are being about especially whether or not Shoko cares about Gojo.

First and foremost, being a jujutsu sorcerer IS a curse. It means that you are constantly conditioned to perpetuate violence and be desensitized to death and loss as a means to accept how truly suddenly you can lose anyone. It’s a motivation to be strong and not get left behind. This also means going down this path actively fractures relationships and pulls people apart from emotional bonds as to not get too attached (tho obviously, with every close romantic platonic and familial relationship we see it daily, because love perseveres as much as curses do).

Between Shoko’s already sheltered nature due to the utility of her abilities needing to be protected, naturally becoming conditioned to death and loss of her peers intimately as a doctor, and the disparity in strength between her, Gojo, and Geto, emotionally she feels ignored and casted to the side, but most importantly like she couldn’t ever reach them. This is the same vice versa with Gojo and Geto. Because of the immense amount of trauma as well as the nature of what it means to get stronger none of them could communicate nor reach the other.

Despite this literal and figurative gap, her actions and thoughts prove that she cares immensely about Gojo and Geto, and she goes out of her way to reach them in other ways. Something she does know is that Satoru is strong, and I don’t think until the fight actually happened she ever thought there was even a chance he could lose (we see her look genuinely distressed and get distracted as the fight goes on). This is a plan that was absolute last resort that no one wanted or thought would happen. She doesn’t have time to grieve, she doesn’t have time to object anymore. Satoru is gone and everyone is putting their life on the line to defeat the very prevalent threat in front of them. This is also an end Gojo accepted and I don’t think her objection would have changed his mind (however he obviously longs for that validation but can’t receive it bc he’s had to push everyone away since Geto’s defection).

It’s a horrible, despair inducing end for Gojo. It is heartbreaking to see his body reanimated for violence and bloodshed by a student who he tried to preserve the youth and innocence of. But to blame Shoko, who literally does not have another choice and is too occupied with saving other sorcerers and helping defeat Sukuna by healing people to pretend Geto was the only person who cared about Gojo is lunacy. She’s just as emotionally stunted and everyone processes emotions differently.

Gojo, Geto, and Shoko were the best of friends and loved each other immensely. They just didn’t know how to handle the world around them and were unable to communicate and reach each other fully. This is just my opinion tho so what do I know lmao

[ganondoodle]

Hi Doodle! I just wanted to say that I love your art and that it's so nice to know there's more people who were as confused and infuriated by how TotK turned out. My brain has unanimously decided to adopt most of your TotK Rewrite into my headcanons for game and manifest them into reality lol. I was just reading your post about your ability wheels ideas (awesome btw) and how you were unsure about what power Link would get from the Yiga and it made me wonder if you knew about the Yiga Clan side quests. If you collect all pieces of the Yiga set, they let you into the hideout where you can take a Blademaster exam and get the Earthwake ability. I was just curious to whether you actually knew about it or if you just didn't like that particular power, hope I didn't spoil it for you

Thank you and Thank you!!!! im still so glad that my rants seem to be more validating for people who feel the same rather than plain annoying xD

as of now im pretty sure i want to use the clone ability to be the one you get from Koga as it would be something more unique to him, references my HC of him having been a monk as old as Miz Kyoshia, and replaces the distraction and support in combat that youd lack since i removed the sage ghost buddies constantly being around you :D

the yiga stuff was literally my biggest motivator to keep playing bc i love them so much, i spent the majority of my playtime running around in the yiga set xD which is also why i never realized until way into the game that i wasnt a genius at sneaking around them nor that they are just so dumb they wont spot you ever but bc i had been wearing the set the entire time in the underground; the underground was one of the few things i pretty much 100%ed, excluding some annoying bossfights

i do know of the earthscroll and tried to use it alot but its but its got a very limited usefullnes due to the way its controlled and you having to unequip your weapon, which made me sad bc it was so cool to be able to interact with the yiga like that, its one of the few shiny good parts of totk imo, tho i think it was a huge missed opportunity to keep them as seperated from the main story still, they have so much lore and story potential you could have used or expanded upon :(

in my rewrite i had considered making your yiga ability related to it but it didnt quite work, partly bc they otherwise didnt seem connected to that element at all and shadow seemed like a better fit, so i assigned the earth magic more to ganondorf actually, due to him causing those massive earthquakes and having, somewhat literally, spread his roots into every part of hyrules underground, it connects well to the way i rewrote the memory system and ganondorfs bossfight too :3

i hope that answers your question!

[horizon-verizon]

https://www.tumblr.com/very-straight-blog/750648583572881408/it-really-tires-me-how-some-fans-try-to-make-aegon?source=share

What is your opinion about this? Personally, I don't understand why people are so diligently looking for something in Aegon that isn't there.

I wrote about Aegon HERE.

Of course he cares, that's literally the essence of his personality. He cares. He and Aemond both feel too much emotion, but if Aemond sublimates into self–improvement, trying to be strong, cold and detached, then Aegon is literally an open wound. I want to talk about this, also using Tom's interviews (yes, I think the actor's opinion is valid in this matter) and the few scenes that we have in the first season

Having emotion/passion =/= sympathy, caring about others, or altruism. sympathy, altruism, etc. can cause or fuel passion, passion can be the motivation to maintain sympathy/compassion/altruism. Dany is a perfect example caring in hand with passion. But this person conflated "caring" with "being emotional and insecure".

Aegon, bk or show, is emotional bc he doesn't want to expend much energy into doing the ambitious things his family wants him to do, except if it is him showing militaristic prowess to prove masculinity and dominance.

Yes, show!Viserys largely didn't give him the "attention" (more here later) that he gave Rhaenyra, but this neither shows that Aegon truly "cares" since he constantly rapes, has his own bastard kids fight each other when he could have easily set up much better living conditions or have them grow up well-off--as most European noblemen did in real life, even Henry VIII. Viserys not giving him attention doesn't excuse, erase, or undermine how Aegon freely chose to abuse others. Dyana didn't ask to be raped, no one does. Should we ignore her pain for Aegon's "microexpressions"? Daemon's mother passing doesn't excuse his treatment of Rhea Royce (whether he kills her or not, show or book...in the book he still is nasty towards her), while also not having ever raped or SAed women (or really, that being a apart of his character GRRM chose to highlight). Both are princes. And many other men choose not to sexually abuse women despite actual abuse at home -- Samwell Tarly. Who is also a pretty emotional but also actually caring individual. He is not a prince. Aegon doesn't need to be named heir nor will it have a positive effect on the realm if he was made king, like how Rhaenyra needed to be Queen bc it's setting a better precedent for female rulership not just for the throne, but for women/girls to be more included in noble lines of succession and/or to lessen the probability of attempts to unseat female heirs who ascend to their places (Jeyne Arryn). That how Rhaenyra, who had been slandered to be undeserving bc of her gender--something Aegon will never receive and is actual discrimination--also benefits to affirm her worth. Finally, Aegon had to start a war and kill thousands to get what he wanted; Rhaenyra would have peacefully housed him after her ascension. so there's that.

HotD is really uwuing this man, bc canonically he just sees the throne as his male-given right; it was never about "confidence in capabilities" or "who'd make the best ruler" for Aegon. Or the greens. It just never was. Even in the show, if you think for 2 seconds, the only logical reason why he would care so much abt Viserys's treatment of him vs Rhaenyra is abt the throne. Viserys didn't "like" him? Oh, well, maybe that is bc the writers decided not to include the fact that bkViserys spent a lot of time with Helaena and that his probable distance b/t his sons is precisely bc they feel that Rhaenyra, his chosen heir, should not be queen? And that is coming from Otto/Alicent coaching them that way, thus creating that divide?

Viserys actually doesn't treat Rhaenrya all that well despite her being his heir: forcing to marry Laenor, [show] punishing her or castigating her for feelings she rightly has towards marriage after he treated Aemma the way he did, reneging on his deal about Otto with he, etc.

bk!Aegon is threatening Rhaenyra before she gave her first terms, impatient to imprison Rhaenyra after the coronation before those terms, calls her a whore after hearing the terms, etc. He may feel bitter and sad about Viserys not giving what he thought was his "birthright", but I think the showrunners knew that this would not endear him to audiences or make them care abt his PoV, bc this is such a privileged sense of entitlement that is actually dangerous that goes beyond any slander against Rhaenyra's pride to be a female Targaryen heir. Viserys, as king, chose Rhaenya and that is well within his right as king, by these feudal monarchist customs. Female heirs have been chosen in Westeros. even with those girls and women having been chosen only bc there was no viable male candidate, or the ones there were too young, etc., they were still chosen and active in wars in different ways. Plus, if we actually care about victims, which a lot of those women were, you'd also see that having a female heir even with a male candidate, is a better step in the right direction of possibly minimizing that rather than to keep the male-preference primogeniture where the younger male is heir keeps going. Rhaenyra never victimized anyone at that point; Aegon had already done so to serving girls and that 12 year old. In the show, Aegon abuses Helaena by her own words about his sexing her only when he is drunk, but this is throwaway and we are not given a fuller picture (w/o actually showing us the sex, we can still witness their dynamic but as it is they have never been in the same room and we never saw them interact or try to, which HotD clearly takes advantage of bc a lot of people are not cognizant of this or care).

He "cares" about himself and pathetically whines about how he wasn't given or thought to be given what he thinks he deserves based on gender privilege. Boohoo. No one said he was emotionless in the first place! Should I feel bad for a man who doesn't get the expected privileges for being a man?

[kaayxshay]

do you have any tips for overcoming disappointment and lack of motivation?

i was manifesting switching schools for over a year, because my school was just causing me so much stress/anxiety and my mental health was seriously awful. i visualized constantly, i acted as if i already registered to my new school, all of that but it just never worked. i got so frustrated that i just distanced myself from manifestation as a whole. literally barely any of my manifestations have ever materialized and i feel like i’ve tried EVERYTHING. living in the end an all of that. i’ve been manifesting for over 2 years and at this point i’m just annoyed. i don’t want to stop manifesting, but at this point more bad things than good things have happened to me in the last two years and i’m scared to try to manifest big life changing things because i’m scared that it will do more harm than good. sorry this is kinda long.

well for one u can never stop manifesting & the reason u aren’t seeing your desires is bc you’re not living in imagination & fulfilling them there, you’re still attached to the 3d and think u need validation there which u don’t. go within & experience your desires, imagine your desires and don’t expect anything to happen in the 3d bc (ik might confuse u but) THTS NOT THE GOAL… when i was apart of the saturation/a&p (affirming & persisting) loa community (which is 3d oriented & doesn’t fully grasp wat the law really is) i always was looking for validation in the 3d but thts not what the law is…u are not changing the 3d, U ARE CHANGING SELF, so go within and give your desires to yourself in imagination imagine u waking in the halls of the new school u wanna be at and accept it as true (basically believing it as true) and start identifying as the inner man, & stop identifying wth the outer man bc the outer man is limited and will always be. hope this helped

[orpheusilver]

care to elaborate on the miles venom arc?

YES okay so. the thing abt the symbiote is that (like any good corruption arc) it feeds on and amplifies the worst traits of a character, which is pretty straightforward in peters case - his biggest issue is his anger, usually manifesting via retribution (eg. "i missed the part where thats my problem", hunting down uncle bens killer), so his origin story is always the great power/great responsibility thing so he learns to temper that rage. what the symbiote does, practically, is force him to unlearn that foundational character arc and regress to his worst self

since the symbiote really really loves aggression peter parker is literally its dream guy but miles is a little more complex. hes definitely susceptible to that same anger (eg. wanting to "make kingpin pay", the entire sm2 martin li arc) but not as often and nowhere near as hardcore, so the peter playbook wont work as well for him (and also it would be fucking boring. weve seen that shit like 8 times already (not saying symbiote peter is boring i just think modern iterations need to explore new aspects to avoid treading the same ground constantly (sm2 does this very fucking well (also yuri lowenthal is a great va for peter like right up there with josh keaton (i think this many parentheses means im off topic (the adhd demon got me))))))

SO. whats miles' major issue he needs to overcome in his origin story? full disclosure i have not read the comics (but i heard they had some issues with his initial characterization anyway? which is fair enough tbh writing the successor to such an iconic guy is Fucking Hard) so TO ME PERSONALLY!! spider-verse miles is the definitive iteration of the guy and like. we all remember the whats up danger scene, his origin arc is overcoming self-doubt and learning to believe in himself ("its a leap of faith", "youre on your way, just keep going") which, alongside social anxiety (eg. the itsv "everyone knows" scene, sm2 "are you mad at me? it sounds like youre mad at me" dialog), seems to be part of some general anxiety issues. this is pretty well supported by the recent "the spider within" short film (which funnily enough is very fucking reminiscent of some sequences in kravens last hunt, not relevant but kinda cool) which also shows how miles responds by self-isolating, similarly to ps5 miles when peter ignores him

the symbiote can exploit his self-doubt pretty easily, the inherent power boost will do most of the heavy lifting to make him feel like hes not good enough without it - what if he runs out of web at the worst moment? what if hes not strong or fast enough to save someone? what if hes caught mid-costume change because hes so used to the suit changing itself? the more valid the (inital) concerns the better imo

the social anxiety is a tricky one but i think if miles traps himself in a doom loop of self-isolation he might spiral into genuine paranoia, which combined w/ the patented symbiote rage could lead him to lash out at people around him. "everyone secretly hates me so im gonna avoid being around people" -> "i feel alienated from everyone i know so im gonna avoid them even harder" -> "am i 'okay'? why would you care? what are you playing at? fuck off and leave me alone" -> "nobody wants to interact w/ me so everyone who does must have ulterior motives and is therefore a threat to me/my family/my city" -> "im completely isolated but bad things are still happening so people must be conspiring against me w/o my knowledge" -> "literally everyone on earth is out to get me and i need to fight them about it"

from there i think the ideal conclusion is pretty self-evident - miles takes a metaphorical leap of faith (calling back to the lesson learned in his origin arc) by actively choosing to trust someone, reach out and ask for help w/ removing the symbiote and dealing with the contemporary big bad (potentially his local peter variant bc hes got experience w/ symbiote removal and it would tie into the "leap of faith" motif but idk)

so tldr: a miles symbiote arc would be different to peters arcs in some (very interesting) key ways - rather than unbridled aggression he could be characterized by intense anxiety, manifesting as paranoid self-isolation and a sense of dependence on the symbiote suit, and would end the arc by reaching out for help in a symbolic leap of faith

[sophfandoms53]

I agree I wish people could view things with more neutrality because it would greatly improve the type of gameplay that we see but It feels sometimes like the fandom has these unrealistic borderline double standard expectations for how houseguests should act. There is so much negativity and hate around things like players getting frustrated if someone is making a move that will negatively impact them, or crying when someone they like gets voted out, or venting and shit talking other houseguests who are getting on their nerves. There is anger if players make up lies about their faves but also anger if people in the house get mad about people lying because lying is part of the game. I could go on but I won’t bore you any further lol. but the fandom who isn’t even competing couldn’t stop doing any of those things if their life depended on it so it’s like why then do those same people insist that the ones actually playing the high stress game for a life changing amount of money should are bad and wrong and silly for being emotional when things aren’t going their way.

Omg im so sorry for responding late to this 😭

I am answering this now bc i still think its kinda relevant especially when it comes to how people talk about Cirie or Cory’s game recently.

You can’t appreciate or criticize how either of them play without someone trying to bash them or misinterpreting how they’re playing for the sake of wanting to feel valid for disliking them.

I really like Cirie and Cory as players and people but I’m not gonna act like they’re flawless in every way or that their strategies don’t have issues. They for sure do, Cory’s been cracking a lot recently especially with Jared treating him the way he has. And Cirie and Izzy spiral every hour and change plans constantly, its a disaster in there LMAO

But they’re also just trying to play the game and their moves don’t need to be over analyzed with some deeper motivation behind it bc they’re going after someone or they aren’t working with someone you personally favor.

Full disclosure though, you’re allowed to dislike any houseguest for any reason. It doesn’t have to be this essay of reasons or you searching for evidence so you feel valid about it. That’s kinda the problem with ppl here and on twitter, they wanna feel validated for not vibing with a houseguest so they constantly misinterpret things that arent that big a deal and want ppl to agree with them. And its kinda not necessary imo.

I think we’re just so used to disliking a majority of the hgs that people don’t know what to do with a cast that’s messy all around as people and players but are overall decent (cameron, red, and jared suck tho lemme be clear they are not part of what im talking about), so some people wanna just hate so they reach to the most extremes because that’s what we’ve come to expect. But humans don’t work in such a good or bad way, and i think this season is a reminder that people are messy and complex but aren’t bad.

It’s hard for players to truly play BB and it’s hard as a viewer to talk about gameplay bc of this “this or that” lense ppl watch the game through.

[chaoxfix]

🕯️🪄🌻 for the meme!

ty for the ask!! <3

🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

ahh... hmm. i like putting out the energy i want back. if i read something i try to comment, and if i dont like something or am not interested in the concept, i just dont react because it's so much worse to upset someone over something they worked hard on.

i really don't think kudos are a very good expression of appreciation, as it has almost no room for real connection. fics are free, you know? when something is free but gives you joy, you should probably meet it with love, and love in a way that really shows why you like it. thats why i think comments are much better. i get why it can cause anxiety, but there's really no wrong way to comment unless youre 1) being an honest to god jerk, 2) pointing out something you dislike / something that you think the author was "incorrect" about (especially if the commenter is the one whos wrong lmao. either way i really dont think free fanfiction is like. lol. the place to do public criticism. just saying.)

im a rather anxious person irl, so im not really sure exactly what every single other anxious person's obstacles are or how to bridge them. because of that, i won't try to give universal advice since it's something i cant be an expert on if my experience is so different.

but i will say, for myself -- i mitigate my anxiety by practicing gratitude. i weaponize my people-pleasing for good by trying to be someone who makes other people feel genuinely good. and there's nothing better than feeling appreciated and praised for things that have value. and that kind of thing usually comes back around.

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

ahh... hmmm...

if it's late at night (after midnight) when i post it, i go to sleep so i wont stay up refreshing the page to see what people say, or worse stay up editing all the typos that "suddenly appear" in ao3 formatting lol. that way even if no one reads it overnight or there are errors, it's okay because at least i can face the day with some sleep.

if it's not late at night when i post it, i try to go for a walk to again avoid constantly refreshing the page for feedback or immediately editing it. bc its not super healthy to spend even more time on it after whats probably been hours and hours, and i dont want my entire day fixated on something i should be done with.

i dont really celebrate much though, probably because i just kind of expect myself to make things of a quality i can stand behind. i didnt really grow up getting praised despite being an overachiever bc it made others around me feel bad when i got a lot . . . so i. have to really try and make something worthy of praise to feel like i deserve it. idk. haha. so anyways overall i try to lean more and more into 'i dont need validation' because id hate to put all my eggs in that basket -- not just because i dont want to be motivated by others' praise, but also because, i dont want to stop writing for the opposite reason, if someday i no longer feel like the quality of work i produced actually deserved the amount of feedback it got.

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

low motivation for long stretches, and losing interest in the things others like best, make me want to stop writing. both with fandom and original. low motivation usually coincides with depressive stints for me, and it makes me feel awful. like i cant do the one thing i like best, because i just can't motivate myself. when i finally manage it, it's crap for the first thousand words, then it gets better.

for me though, what makes me keep going is getting others to see my vision. getting them to feel what i aim to make them feel; crafting stories that, maybe theyre not perfect, but the emotions they generate are enough. it really is hard without an audience. even though i'm not motivated as much by getting a ton of validation, i do need at least a little lol, even just someone to say "yes. i see you. i understand what you needed me to feel from this, and i felt it." which is why i have original writing friends as well, for original stuff.

buuut also, i also keep going because i like being able to jot down what im thinking/imagining so that i can revisit it later and go back to that feeling, that moment in time where i was absolutely positive of that scene

thank you again for asking!! ^^

[bluebaric]

just finished what i (for some reason) thought was the last chapter of all your blood and was temporarily gutted thinking that was how it ended… turns out that was not the last chapter but i am still gutted! big props to your writing man!!! i love lottienat but i have a hard time finding fics that feel true to their actual characters, so naturally when i found this i spent the entire night speed reading it. id love to know more about your mindset when writing them, their motivations in both happiness and the wide range of sadness between both of them and stuff like that. again big compliments to you!

ah dude thank you so much! i'm really glad u like it. and of course i can tell you about my mindset! i'm so glad you asked! (putting self aggrandizing explanations beneath the cut)

honestly, i struggle with these girls a lot. I'm a real stickler on characterization—my general philosophy on fanfic is that fic is really a sort argument one is making about the text that one is writing fic for: that argument being, under these circumstances, these characters would think/feel/act this way, and you need to have evidence from the original text to back up the thoughts/feelings/actions you put in your writing. I know, that sounds like an insane and not fun way to write! But i like it :) having canonical validation of my writing choices makes brain go burr :)

so the real issue i run up against in yj fic is that i'm writing abt a scenario in which they were never in the plane crash, and the plane crash is so vital to who these characters are and how they act in canon that i can really only pull from like, the pilot and flashbacks for the basis to my characterization. lottie esp is very difficult, because we have essentially no idea what she was like pre-crash and fully medicated. so on one hand that's fun, i get to have my own little ideas :D on the other hand it's rough, bc need everything to seem canonical and perfect >:(

in any case! the characterization i settled upon!

i feel like one of natalie's primary character traits is that she thinks she's inherently a bad person incapable of achieving anything worthwhile in her life or experiencing any happiness that will not inevitably be ripped from her grasp or held against her in someway—poor baby, she's traumatized :( so she has a hard time connecting with people, because she trusts no one and hates herself. she wants to be loved like everyone else does, but she constantly gets in her own way without necessarily even knowing why. she has no healthy frame of reference for what love is supposed to look like, so she feels like she's bound to fuck it up eventually if she ever does accept love from someone. and on some level she does not think she deserves to be happy or loved, because of how inherently bad a person she is. GOD that's depressing. also she has no impulse control, perhaps due to the insatiable void of repressed longing within her.

lottie, on the other hand, is so openly and ardently desperate to give and receive love. she's been lonely for so much of her life and she really isn't ashamed of the fact that she wants to be connected with other people (unlike some natalies i could name...). she's deeply empathetic, very charismatic, honestly great at the whole human connection deal. her largest hang up is her mental health, which she feels is the main thing that keeps her from being able to love and be loved the way she's always wanted. she hides her struggles and performs normalcy in order to gain access to the friendship and love she thinks she will be denied if she were to be entirely honest about who she is. her parents were really the biggest factor in instilling that mindset into her. fuck those guys.

so how does that create the dynamic that plays out between them? lottie ends up making a lot of the first moves, not because natalie doesn't feel just as strongly about their relationship, but because natalie is scared and lottie is frankly a bit impatient. she sees through nat's bs, loves her anyway, and wants to get this fucking show on the road. natalie does not know how to deal with being cared for so strongly, so honestly. it's never happened before, she was pretty sure it was impossible. lottie's love sort of destablizes nat's personal perspective, leading to a very tumultuous emotional state wherein to accept being loved is much, much harder and scarier than to insist upon being hated. oof.

lottie, for her part, admires how nat refuses to change herself for other people—not that natalie doesn't care what other people think. she absolutely cares about and internalizes what other people think of her. but she keeps going anyway, doesn't make any attempt to appease those who disapprove. lottie, as a person who keeps a lot inside in order to be liked by other people, sees in natalie the possibility of being yourself—a self that the world doesn't particularly care for—and being good, being loved anyway. if lottie can love nat, and nat can love lottie, then lottie can love herself. it's like a lil math problem or smthn.

idk man, it's so complicated. there's so much i could say—we haven't even mentioned the side characters, nor did i break down the exact moments in canon i use to validate all my writing choices! i think it would perhaps be slightly unhinged for me to do that! i spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff. i guess it's worth it if it's leading to a fic that people enjoy lol?

anyway, if you made it this far into my self indulgent rant, you deserve a cookie. hopefully this is what you wanted, anon? thanks for the ask, i clearly had some stuff i needed to spill out onto the keyboard. and thanks again for reading my lil fic! hope you're having a good one :D

[restinpeacesensei]

@talisman975

#I think you did the right thing with waiting! #sometimes it’s better to do something AFTER the hype has died down #it’s like going to the store after Black Friday it’s not worth going on that day and getting overwhelmed or harassed by everyone #plus I totally get being uncomfortable with certain comments at Akoya and the boys #they’re still high school kids after all #actually I think that’s something a lot of anime fans tend to forget since we HAVE so many anime that takes place in a high school #or a majority of the characters are minors yet they’re constantly sexualized #ngl I love that a character like Akoya and this show in general prefers to use the term pretty to describe the boys #Akoya may be a villain but he still prides himself to be pretty and beautiful #and I love him for that and I love that the show doesn’t say it’s bad that he does this

i love your black friday comparison, that puts it in perspective so much!! ;;O;; it's a double-edged sword tbh, it's usually a lot of fun and encouraging/motivating to be involved in communities during high activity but also more overwhelming. i wish i'd learned to speak up for myself earlier so i could have enjoyed the higher level of interaction without the discomfort, but it was only from going through that for so long that i figured it out. it was honestly really important for me to learn that from this whole experience.

(to be fair, i don't think anyone has meant to harass me. i know a lot of people and/or artists take and/or mean "hot"/"sexy" as a compliment. im just personally sensitive about that and/or uncomfortable with those words; to me it feels a bit like being catcalled. i do think the internet normalizes it WAY too much to say these types of things to random strangers, without knowing if the person is okay with it or not--because yes, it'd often be considered harassment irl, and the internet seems to make a lot of people forget this. but i also know most people aren't intending to bother me and aren't aware of how i feel unless i say it, so it's good for everyone that ive learned to state my boundaries.)

thank you so much for your validation and understanding of being uncomfortable!! \T--T/ though, the ages aren't the reason it makes me uncomfortable. (i personally like to imagine that akoya has aged along with me and is an adult now) it makes me uncomfortable bc 1) i didn't ask for or consent to it; 2) a lot of the comments are phrased in a way that focuses only on what the person saying it wants, as if the other is an object or tool for their enjoyment. i don't like hearing this bc it makes me feel like not being treated as a person.

sexualization in media is a complicated topic, and one that i try to avoid bc it's too easy for me to get uncomfortable and/or into an argument that i don't want to have. i was definitely affected growing up by sexualization/objectification in media and the objectifying comments that are made in reaction to it, and i still struggle today with feeling like a person in my own body because of it. yet i can't be too critical of the content bc i also draw "idealized" characters and fall for these characters bc they're designed to be so cute/pretty.

im uncomfortable with a lot of things about this show, and yet if it hadn't been exactly the way that it is, i don't think i would have been able to express personal/intimate thoughts and feelings and find connection over them. i was a (young) adult when i found the show, yet in a way it allowed me to make sense of growing up and/or almost have a high school experience that i didn't get to have (due to bullying and isolation irl). at the end of the day, all i can do is ask that people be respectful of my wishes when they interact directly with me. ive been grateful to find that most people are glad to do this. consent and boundaries are how it should be.

(i also love that akoya is allowed to just LIKE pretty things without being put down or made fun of for it T.T the way that aNYTHING considered "feminine" is often considered "shallow" or "silly" or boys aren't "allowed" to like it is so. limiting. and made me feel bad for a lot of things when i was younger)

[inkybinkyboink]

hi sorry i gotta ramble incoherently for a second bc im like Moving Out tomorrow and i have. a lot of feelings. so of course i listened to into the woods and i got to stay with me and now i have even more feelings.

i love the idea in into the woods that "children will listen". i love it. the idea that sometimes, adults, and in the shows case, the witch, want kids to listen and think that they dont because they dont reflect the behaviour theyre being told to do. but the thing is they do listen. you just dont always know it. and sondheim says this verbatim in the show "careful the things you say, children will listen". kids hear the shit you say, and they take to heart. you cant control what that is or isnt. its kind of gut wrenching to realize that, and i remember wishing my mom could see that as well. that we are listening, and the shit she says has an impact.

my mom isnt the greatest, and so i remember relating to this song a lot in high school when i was like super into the show, i remember wishing i could show it to her bc it kind of puts into words what i constantly fail to. this idea that you have to let your kids go, that as bittersweet as it is, theyre not your kids. theyre their own entities and souls. it feels like, to this day, ive never been me in my moms eyes, but rather a reflection of different people she knows. it feels like shes never really let me be myself.

whats frustrating is that the witch is kind of in the right for a brief second. it is incredibly valid for not wanting rapunzel to get hurt. the line "princes wait there in the woods it's true/ princes yes but wolves and humans too" hits hard. i get it. but i feel like its human nature to not want your loved ones to get hurt (ignoring the witch's motives for a second) and i get that you'd want them to stay with you. but getting hurt is part of gaining life experience. speaking very broadly in terms of human connection, you learn from others. you learn what kind of people you like and dont like through the experiences you have with them. and thats something you can only really see if you go out into the world and live your life.

hearing the line "stay a child while you can be a child" (again, ignoring the "with me" that follows) is also really difficult to listen to because it's a really bitter pill to swallow. sondheim is so right in this and i agree. please, be a kid while you can still be a kid. being a kid is precious and fleeting and so so so vital and beautiful. but it's also...an unliveable life. you cannot remain a child forever. you must grow up at some point. and i think that's what im like,,,upset abt. ive rlly hit the point of no return. i have to be an adult now.

on a more hopeful note, if you look at this line and also integrate the witches motivations into it, it becomes really interesting. she wants rapunzel to stay a child, but i think you can grow up and still remain childish. and i dont mean childish in an immature sense, i mean it more like "youthful"? like in the little prince, when they say "growing up is not the problem, forgetting is". im criss-crossing themes and messages here but it just feels,,,relevant.

im scared of forgetting, i think? im scared of becoming cold and distant like the adults in the little prince, or mean and possessive like the witch. i dont want to, and i feel like somehow moving out means im inevitably going to wind up like That, even though it know it doesnt.

theres just a lot going on and change is hard and scary.