#you can’t leave me hanging like this
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i demand to know who that anon was
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*I am sad bc i feel guilty & greedy for wanting more so I am sorry in advance for the tags, which I wrote before coming back up here cus I ran out of space down there. I just really enjoyed the meal, namsayin…so thank u Chef Mel, I do appreciate the content you do give us 🙇🏽♀️ I don’t want it to seem like I’m demanding seconds, I just have a lot of feelings
❧ word count: 19.3k
❧ warnings: cursing, graphic description of blood and blood drinking (you know, vampire stuff), graphic description of neck biting so if that’s your no-go zone it’s time to make a decision here, mentions of death and dying (in the context of vampires)
❧ genre: fluff, modern magical creatures au, fantasy au, college au, vampire kun, human reader, ft. various other magical weishens, “uh-oh one of us drank a love potion” trope but with a twist, same universe as strawberry sunday
❧ extra info: this work is set in the same universe as strawberry sunday but can be read as a standalone! there is no continuing plotline between fics in this universe, they simply take place in the same world/magic system and may have overlapping characters (neos may pop up in more than one work!)
❧ author’s note: omg omg i’m so excited to not only debut vampire kun but to begin expanding the strawberry sunday universe! enjoy!
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ explore the strawberry sunday universe more here!
“Did I just drink a goddamn love potion? What the fuck were you planning on doing with a love potion, exactly, anyway?”
“We were supposed to bring them in to test their properties in the lab. And it’s not just a love potion... That already exists, I wanted to take mine to the next level. That’s why Kun’s here.”
“I just don’t get this one,” Kunhang sighed, tapping his pencil against his laptop.
He shifted in place on his bed, reaching behind him to scratch at the middle of his back. You were sitting at his desk chair, going over review questions for your Calculus test tomorrow. Your friend kept itching at his back, and you spun around, putting your notebook and pencil down on the desk.
“I think we need a break, Kunhang. You look like you need to preen,” you declared, standing up and stretching.
“Yeah,” his nose scrunched up as he set his computer aside to get at his back and shoulders with two hands.
“I’m going to get something to drink. You want anything while I’m up?”
“No, I’m good. Thanks, Y/N.”
In Kunhang’s kitchen, you downed a cup of water first. Knowing that the gryphon would be taking some time to preen his wing and shoulder feathers, you opened the fridge to see if you could find anything good. It was barren, it didn’t seem like he nor his witch roommate Yangyang had gone grocery shopping recently. The door held mostly condiments, however you did spot a couple bottles of blue and red Gorgonade. The seal on the red sports drink was cracked, but it looked completely full. You didn’t mind drinking it if your friend had only taken a sip or two. After all, red was your favorite.
Carrying it back over towards his room, you called out down the hall, “Kunhang!”
“Eh?” His response was muffled through presumably a mouthful of feathers.
“Is this your red Gorgonade?”
“Huh?”
“Gorgonade! Can I drink?”
“Have whatever you want!”
“Thanks!”
You wandered around the living room, stretching your legs as you took your first sip. It didn’t taste like the red sports drink normally did. It had a more… earthy taste to it. Still slightly sweet, and a bit rich. But definitely not the normal fruity and saccharine flavor. Looking closer at the label, it definitely said Fruit Punch. You inspected the expiration date next. Nope, definitely well within that, by over a year.
Wondering if you had tasted it right, you took another sip, staring hard at the words ‘Fruit Punch’ on the label. No, still tasted a bit off. Holding the bottle up to the sunlight streaming in through the living room window, you saw that the color wasn’t quite right either, a darker red than normal. Kunhang must have left the bottle open in the fridge for too long and it went a bit off.
You were half done with the bottle by the time you heard Kunhang yelling from his bedroom. Figuring that it was him telling you he was done, you walked back over.
He was readjusting his shirt and fixing his hair as you walked in, looking much more refreshed now. You picked up a stray grey feather that was on the desk chair and tossed it in the trashcan with the others before sitting down.
“Where’d you get that?” He nodded at the bottle as you took another swig from it.
You tilted your head in confusion, “Uh, your fridge?”
“Must’ve been Yang’s,” the gryphon shrugged. “I thought you had found the blue one that’s in there.”
“Oh shit,” you looked down at the mostly empty bottle, feeling guilty now.
“He’ll live.”
A bit ashamed, you finished off the drink and set the empty container down on the desk.
You two had gotten through only a couple more review questions before the door to Kunhang’s room was thrown open, a wild-eyed, disheveled, crazed Yangyang bursting in.
“Have you seen my—” His eyes bugged out of his head when they landed on the empty bottle next to you. He looked between you and Kunhang frantically. “Which one of you drank that?”
You immediately went to apologize, a bit alarmed at how invested he seemed in this drink, “That was me, Yangyang. I’m sorry, I thought it was Kunhang’s. Look, I’ll buy you another.”
The witch winced, looking over his shoulder at something in the hallway. Another figure entered the room then, who you recognized somewhat. You knew of Qian Kun through mutual friends, he attended classes at your campus too, in addition to being a several-century-old vampire. Though you’d never asked, he looked as though he’d been turned in his mid to late twenties, but that presumably didn’t matter much once you’d been around for centuries on end.
Kun’s hands were tucked into the pockets of his crisp dress pants as he seemed to be appraising you. Despite being a student, the couple of times you’d seen him in passing, he had been dressed more like a professor than most of your professors. Today he was in a pair of black slacks and black knit sweater with a white collared dress shirt underneath.
You and Kunhang exchanged bewildered looks before the gryphon finally spoke up.
“Yangyang, what the hell’s going on?”
“Uhm…” Yangyang ran a hand through his hair anxiously. “How- How are you, Y/N? You know, we never hang out—”
“Yangyang!” You cut him off. “Did you do something to that Gorgonade?”
“Well, no…” He refused to meet your eyes, explaining to the floor. “Becauseitwasn’tGorgonade.”
You looked at him incredulously. “What the hell did I fucking drink, then?”
“Well, you see, I had this assignment in my Magical Botany II class, and one of the options was to create a botanical blend incorporating a magical plant we studied this semester. I’m a witch, so, easy A, duh.”
“Are you telling me I just drank a fucking potion?”
“Botanical blend!”
“Why would you put a potion in a fucking Gorgonade bottle?”
“Botanical blend!”
“Put it in a weird little vial with a ‘DO NOT DRINK: POTION’ label on it or something! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
“I ran out of glass jars last month! I’ve been meaning to run to the apothecary…”
“So you used a Gorgonade bottle?”
Kunhang cut in then, “Yangyang, what kind of potion was it? You said you had to create it; do you even know what it’s going to do to Y/N?”
“Well, I chose the lover’s embrace blossom as my plant.”
“Lover’s embrace…” you sighed, the vine immediately coming to mind. Mature plants bloomed flowers whose pollen would intoxicate those who breathed it in so they wouldn’t struggle while the vines ensnared them. You imagined it was exactly that pollen that the witch used. “Did I just drink a goddamn love potion? What the fuck were you planning on doing with a love potion, exactly, anyway?”
“We were supposed to bring them in to test their properties in the lab. And it’s not just a love potion... That already exists, I wanted to take mine to the next level. That’s why Kun’s here.”
The three of you finally looked over at the vampire again. He stared back at you, his deep red eyes feeling like they were piercing your very soul. You had to look away, back at Yangyang.
“The love potion is attuned specifically to him, theoretically. Vampires metabolize things so much faster, so their blood may make the effects more powerful, but it should burn right through you super fast, Y/N!” Yangyang tried to put a positive spin on it for you, but your jaw dropped in horror.
“I drank his blood?!” You screeched, your hand flying up to your mouth. It took everything in you to hold back gags at the thought.
“Just a couple drops, just a couple drops!” The witch tried very hard to backpedal.
Kunhang looked between you and Kun. “How long should it take to kick in, Yangyang?”
“Like five minutes.”
“And when did you drink that, Y/N?”
“An hour ago,” you informed him, the same realization seeming to dawn on the both of you.
“And… do you feel any different about Kun than before today?”
You looked at the vampire, feeling almost sheepish as you had to shake your head. Sure, the guy was attractive, but you definitely weren’t magically in love with him all of a sudden.
“No, I feel fine. Normal,” you clarified, turning to the witch. Giving Yangyang a shrug, you didn’t feel all that sorry as you told him, “Maybe your potion sucks.”
“No, it should definitely work!” Yangyang replied indignantly.
“Well I don’t feel anything!” You reiterated. “So congrats on your F, Yangyang!”
The witch huffed, brows furrowing as he looked you over. “Yeah, you’re not acting any different. What the fuck happened?”
“If that’s all, can you get the hell out?” Kunhang requested frankly. “We’re trying to study.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Yangyang sighed. He turned back to the vampire, pointing to the exit dramatically, “Back to the drawing board, Kun!”
Kun still hadn’t moved from his spot as Yangyang was mostly out of the room, then popped his head back in.
“Y/N, you’ll tell me if anything changes, right?”
“I promise, you will be the first to know if your potion did anything weird to me,” you nodded firmly. “I will personally come over here and beat your ass for it.”
“I was thinking like a text or a phone call, but that works too I guess.” Yangyang gave you a thumbs up before disappearing from the room.
You held Kun’s gaze for an awkward moment, unsure why he was still here. Maybe you should apologize?
“Kun!” Yangyang called for him again, and the vampire finally looked away from you, walking out of Kunhang’s bedroom.
It was dark out when you eventually left Kunhang’s apartment, the review guide completed, and your brain just a little fried from all that math. With your backpack slung over your shoulder, and keys in hand, you took off down the sidewalk for the short walk back to your own home.
“Y/N.” A voice suddenly saying your name from right beside you made you jump out of your skin.
“Oh, shit!” You exclaimed, clutching a hand to your chest. When you whipped around to see that it belonged to a familiar face, you took a deep breath before greeting him. “Uh, hi, Kun.”
He remained quiet.
You kept talking, adjusting your bag strap on your shoulder to calm yourself down, “Sorry about all that back in Kunhang and Yangyang’s apartment, by the way. I know it was stupid of me to drink something in a witch’s fridge that tasted off. That part was on me.”
“Are you walking home?” He questioned, focus rather intense on you.
“Yeah, my apartment isn’t far.” You gestured in the vague direction of it.
A deep frown etched itself into his features, “By yourself? It’s rather late.”
“I know! What if another vampire sneaks up on me?” You gasped teasingly.
“Will you let me walk you home? Please?”
Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Oh, uh, sure. Thanks.”
The two of you walked side by side in silence. You shifted your bookbag from one shoulder to the other when your muscles got tired.
“Is that heavy?” Kun asked.
“I mean, kind of? My laptop’s in there, and a couple notebooks; Kunhang and I were doing this review packet for a Calc test,” you explained.
“I can carry it for you.” He held a hand out expectantly.
“Oh, you really don’t have to.”
“I want to.”
“Uhm… okay.” You pulled the bag off your shoulder and handed it to him by the strap. Honestly, you wouldn’t be too terribly surprised if he ran off with it. Him robbing you seemed about as likely as him randomly offering to walk you home and carry your bag for you.
Kun effortlessly slipped the bookbag on. It looked out of place against his slacks and dress shirt/sweater combo, especially with your multiple cute character keychains that you had attached to the zipper.
He dutifully carried it all the way to your front door for you, where you gratefully took it back. You were very excited for tonight to be over. Between studying, the potion debacle, and now this incredibly awkward interaction, diving headfirst into your bed sounded like exactly what you needed.
“Thank you, Kun, I’m just going to—” You cut yourself off when you were finally able to see his face clearly in the security light outside your apartment door. His crimson irises were nearly gone, entirely swallowed by inky pupils, and he was pulling at his shirt almost as if he were fanning himself to cool down. “Oh my god, Kun, are you okay? Your pupils are… blown. I’d check your temperature, but I don’t think vampires can run a fever, can you?”
“I… I’m…” He didn’t even finish his sentence, biting down on his bottom lip, and holding up a finger in a gesture for you to wait a moment.
You didn’t know too much about vampires, nor whatever ailments they could possibly get afflicted with, but you did know somebody who probably would. Bringing your phone out from your pocket, you started flicking through your contacts list, “I feel like I should call Renjun. He’s a Magical Creatures Studies major. Uhm, he was able to figure out why Dejun stopped producing fire for a weird two weeks last year. He might be able to help. Here, let me—”
“No, I’m fine. I know what it is.”
“Oh. That’s good. What is it? Is there anything I can do?”
Kun straightened back up, hand going to smooth out the wrinkles in his sweater that he’d caused by pulling it at. “I believe Yangyang’s love potion was successful in a way he did not intend.”
“Kun, seriously, I don’t feel any—”
“I do.” He cut you off sternly, focusing his darkened eyes on yours.
“You…” You breathed out, eyes widening.
“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, I apologize.” He bowed his head. “I tried to control it as best as I could. But yes, I suddenly started experiencing extremely strong romantic feelings for you earlier tonight.”
“O-Oh.”
“I should go, I’ve seen you home safely.”
“Right, uhm, goodnight, Kun,” you nodded to him, too stunned to say much else.
You clenched your jaw not to make a noise of surprise when he picked up one of your hands with his much colder one. He bent over nearly ninety degrees to press a feather-light to the back of your hand. If you had a free hand, you would’ve pinched yourself to make sure you weren’t dreaming yourself into a rom-com right now.
“Goodnight, Y/N,” he gently let go of your hand before taking a step back from you.
After fumbling to unlock your door, you practically ran inside. Oh, you were going to kill Yangyang.
Unfortunately, you couldn’t immediately start your literal witch hunt the next day, as you had to take your Calculus exam. In fact, you had mostly forgotten your dilemma as you walked out of your classroom with Kunhang and Dejun, another friend of yours.
“How are you feeling, by the way, Y/N?” Kunhang checked in with you, pressing the back of his hand to your forehead. “No sudden urge to dicked down by a va—”
You elbowed him in the side, sending him stumbling off in one direction as he cackled. “I’m fine, thanks for your concern.”
“What is he talking about?” Dejun raised an eyebrow, his slit pupils flicking between the two of you curiously.
“You really should’ve come to the study session last night, Dejun.” Kunhang jumped to relay the story to the dragon.
Dejun had the decency not to full-on laugh at you, but you did see a couple puffs of smoke come out of his nose as he tried to hold back his chuckles. “Yangyang needs to store his potions more responsibly.”
“Thank you!” You cried out, feeling vindicated.
“It seriously didn’t work at all? I mean, I don’t know what else was in there, but lover’s embrace pollen and vampire blood… sure sounds like it should’ve done something,” he mused aloud.
And that was when you sighed, “Well… it didn’t work on me.”
“And what does that mean?” Kunhang cocked his head to the side.
“Kun caught up to me after I left your apartment last night,” you confessed with a wince. “Somehow he’s the one that’s suddenly in love with me.”
“What?!” Kunhang grabbed your shoulder and shook you with equal amounts of disbelief and delight.
You swatted him away, “I don’t know! But I’m going to find Yangyang and see what the little twerp has to say for himself.”
“He should be getting out of Bot II in ten minutes.” Dejun pointed to a building off to your right. “Try to leave him in one piece, Y/N.”
“No promises.”
Kunhang and Dejun both had other classes to get to, leaving you to wait in front of the Earth Sciences building alone, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently.
“Y/N, hello.”
You spun around on your heel at the familiar voice, now face to face with deep red eyes and dark brown hair.
“Hey, Kun,” you greeted him. He didn’t seem as… unwell as last night. His crisp white button up was tucked neatly into his dark brown dress pants, and for a brief moment you wondered if he even owned casual clothes. Small gold earrings dangled from his lobes, glinting as they caught the dappled sunlight streaming in through the leaves above you.
Feeling hopeful, you asked, “So… how are you feeling?”
“Much better, thank you for asking.” He kept his gaze on you as the two of you conversed. “I’m not, uhm, feverish anymore.”
“Oh, good,” you breathed a sigh of relief. So everything was back to normal then.
“I wanted to give you this.” In his hand was a folded piece of paper, and you accepted it from him curiously. It was crisp, fine quality, with a nice texture that you could feel as your fingers ran along the edges to unfold it.
Your eyes widened as you realized that he had just handed you a poem—a rather good one, if you were to be honest—written in an elegant script. After another quick skim just to make sure your reading comprehension was up to par, you knew that he didn’t just want your feedback on an assignment for class or something. This was a sonnet, if your recollection of your literature class from last semester was any good, about you. For you.
You looked up from the paper to Kun, offering him a nervous smile. “This is… really good, Kun. Uhm, are you busy right now?”
“I have another class in thirty minutes.”
“I’m waiting for Yangyang to get out of his class. He should be out any second. I think we should both talk to him.”
Kun nodded, tucking his hands into the pockets of his slacks. You folded the paper back up and tucked it into a folder in your backpack.
Eventually, a new rush of students began streaming out of the doors, and you scanned the crowd for Yangyang.
As soon as you spotted him towards the back, you hurried over to head him off. “Liu Yangyang!”
“Oh, Y/N! And Kun…” He looked up from his phone at you two, clearly surprised. “Is everything okay?”
“No.” You crossed your arms. “Do you have somewhere to be?”
“Oceanography in an hour. Why? Are you alright?”
Latching onto his forearm, you dragged him over to a more secluded spot of campus, Kun following behind. You relayed all the facts to the witch as quickly as possible, watching as he turned from confused to shocked.
“So it did work!” Yangyang declared brightly.
“Hey! Focus!” You said sternly. “You said that the vampire blood means it should burn up really quickly, right? So Kun’ll be back to normal soon?”
He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “If it was going to be a quick burn, it would have been over already.”
“Excuse me?”
“Kun’s the subject but you’re the vector—”
“Don’t call me that, it makes me sound like I gave him malaria or something.”
“I think—emphasis on think—that this is a two-factor potion.”
“A what?”
“Kun’s blood is doing two things: made it so that it’ll affect him, and by happenstance of him being a vampire, it makes it more powerful. And you drinking it does two things as well: since you drank it, you’re now the target of his affection, and because you’re a human, the potion itself is working through you, and humans metabolize that stuff much slower than say, a vampire.”
“So it’s supercharged and—relatively—super long lasting?”
“Is my guess.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose, muttering under your breath, “Can this get any worse?”
Yangyang breathed in through his teeth, a rueful hissing sound. “Well—”
“Oh my god, that was supposed to be rhetorical, it does get worse?”
“It probably won’t even be an issue, Kun’s super old.”
“What does that even mean, Yangyang?”
“Well, younger vampires have a difficult time controlling how much they feed because all kinds of want sort of feel the same to them. Hunger, thirst, jealousy, attraction…”
“I’m living a fucking Twilight novel...” You threw your hands up, then pointed threateningly at him. “I am absolutely going to kick your ass.”
Yangyang held his hands up in front of him defensively, starting to back away from you, “But Kun’s hundreds of years old, so that’s totally not gonna be a problem! Right, Kun?”
Finally, you looked back over to the vampire, who had been silent through this entire confrontation.
“I don’t even live feed anymore,” Kun confirmed. “Y/N, I would never hurt you.”
You knew what he meant. There were other options for vampires now besides drinking blood from a live source, donor bags or synthetic blood replacements. To your understanding, vampires were fairly divided when it came to which they preferred—if they even had a preference at all, some didn’t care as long as they were fed, to those ones it was really whatever was cheapest and easiest at the time.
“Of course, Kun.” You nodded in understanding.
When you turned to give Yangyang one last piece of your mind, the witch was nowhere to be seen. He’d run off while you were distracted. How very mature.
“Alright, well, I’ve uh,” you checked the time on your phone. “I’ve got another class to get to. So, see you.”
“Can I walk you there?”
You had just spun on your heel to leave when he asked that, and it took everything in you not to show your ‘drats!’ expression on your face when you twisted back around to talk to give him some excuse. “Sorry, Kun, I really need to call my mom on the way there. I forgot to on my way to class this morning.”
“Oh.” His face fell, making you wince. It was sweet, but you knew that he was under the effects of a love potion, so really what was the point of entertaining any of this if it was all against his will? If at the end of all of this he would go back to feeling literally no specific way about you? And you’d look like the weirdo for indulging in it.
To his credit, he accepted your (bullshit) reason easily. “Of course, you should call your mother. I’ll see you sometime after class, maybe, then.”
“Maybe, yeah.” You wanted to slap yourself as soon as the words were out of your mouth. But it got you out of there quickly, as he seemed to like this answer, giving you half a smile, nodding, and not saying anything more as you took off towards the building that housed your next class. You were going to be about forty minutes early for it, but it was better than staying out there with Kunspeare at the moment.
Walking into the student union building after your second class, you meandered around until you finally spotted three familiar heads at a table in a far corner of the third floor. You plopped down into the open seat beside Ten.
“Were you guys hiding from me or something?” You scoffed, snatching a fry from Kunhang’s plate in front of you.
“Yeah, because I was hoping to eat all my own food this time,” the gryphon rolled his eyes, but made no move to stop you as you took another fry.
The siren beside you was drawing in one of his many sketchbooks—he was an art major—and you peered over his shoulder to see what he was working on. The whole spread was filled with pencil sketches at various stages of completion, angles, and facial expressions of what seemed like your entire little friend group: you, Kunhang, Dejun, Yangyang, and the final creature that was sitting at your table now, Sicheng.
Sicheng’s fiery orange and yellow eyes looked at you analytically as the phoenix sipped on his fountain drink. He set it down to look at you with a cocked head, curious. “Why were you so late, Y/N?”
“I had to make sure the coast was clear.”
“Oh, do you have a little bloodsucking stalker?” Kunhang asked in understanding.
“He’s not stalking me, he’s been very unfortunately, unconsentingly—on both our parts—put under the effects of a love potion. I don’t fault him for that, okay?”
Ten and Sicheng exchanged bewildered looks.
“God, Kunhang, did you not already tell them? I thought you would’ve gone around blabbing this hilarious story to everyone we know by now!” You snipped at him, dreading the thought of having to relive the mortification of retelling the events of last night over again.
“I’m sorry, did you want me to?” He bickered back without missing a beat. “I’ll go get on the PA system right now.”
You shot him a glare before delving into the gist of it yourself. “Long story short, last night I was over at Kunhang and Yangyang’s. Qian Kun was there too, Yangyang’s vampire… friend? Acquaintance? Anyway, Yangyang made a love potion and like an idiot, put it in their fridge in a Gorgonade bottle then left it unattended. I accidentally drank it, and now Kun is in love with me because his blood was in the potion.”
Their jaws dropped in unison.
“Uhm—” Sicheng didn’t seem to know where he was going with that, scratching the back of his head before picking his soda back up.
“Anyway, this man has gone like full 18th-century courting or whatever on me.” You held your head in your hands, replaying the moment of him handing you the poem in your mind.
“And they say chivalry is dead,” Kunhang pretended to swoon.
“Haha, you should do stand-up,” you said sarcastically. “Seriously, what am I supposed to say when he hands me a goddamn sonnet? ‘Thanks, sick poem, bestie?’”
“He wrote you a sonnet? Where is it? Can I read it?”
“I would sooner let Ten drown me than let you read a sonnet that…” you sighed, your voice getting smaller and smaller with each word, “describes the shape of my lips.”
You shuddered at the thought of your friend ever laying eyes upon something like that. He would never let you live it down.
“Aw come on Y/N!”
“Too late, I already burned it!” You stuck your tongue out at Kunhang, who just did it right back.
“Have you given him anything, Y/N?” Ten spoke up, setting his pencil down.
“I am not writing him a sonnet, Ten.”
“I don’t mean like that. I mean, have you done any sort of reciprocity? Given him any information about yourself? Engaged with him, genuinely, on any level at all?” He paused then, and you slowly shook your head. Your friend’s ocean blue scales shimmered just beneath the skin of his cheekbones as he turned in his seat to face you, reflective gold eyes focused on you. “Look, I know he’s under the love potion and you’re not, and I’m not saying you have to treat these as sincere romantic advances from him. But maybe try to approach them at least as genuine opportunities for human connection. Or, human-vampire connection. You know what I mean.”
You scrunched your nose up thoughtfully. “I haven’t really thought about it like that. Huh...”
“I think if you at least give him a little nudge about the stuff that you do like, he’ll stop writing you sonnets.”
“Yeah, I mean, he’s just going to keep courting you for the duration of the potion, Y/N, whether you want him to or not. Might as well get a car out of it or something,” Kunhang suggested through a mouthful of fries.
“I am not going to exploit him like that!” You scoffed. “And swallow before you talk! You’re going to get gross food bits on me!”
Sicheng wordlessly handed Kunhang a napkin.
After your last class of the day, you stopped at the top of the stairs of the Math and Computer Sciences building. If Kun didn’t mysteriously show up now, you figured you could easily get his number from Kunhang or Yangyang—though that would be inviting a whole slew of other issues.
But you didn’t have to worry about that. Just as you thought, you spotted Kun approaching from the direction of the Literature, Writing, and History building. To be absolutely certain, you waved at him, and he lifted a hand back, putting on a slight burst of speed. You walked down the steps to meet him at the bottom.
“Hello, Y/N,” he greeted you as he finally stopped in front of you.
“Hi, Kun,” you offered him a smile. “How are you?”
“I’m well, thank you. How are you?”
“I’m good, I’m good.”
“Did you just finish class?”
“Yeah, Number Theory. What about you?”
“Contemporary Creative Non-Fiction. Are you a mathematics major?”
You nodded. “Unfortunately. Thinking about switching. Though my mom might kill me if I do, that’d be the third time in two years.”
“Do you not like math?”
“I like it just fine, I’m being dramatic with the ‘unfortunately’ part. I just don’t know if I like it enough to do it for the rest of my life,” you shrugged.
Kun smiled at that. “Well, take it from me. You never have to do one thing for the rest of your life. However long that may be.”
You cocked your head at that. There were more questions you wanted to ask him. He was several hundred years old, and going to college, very possibly not for the first time. He’d most certainly studied and done and seen other stuff, and you wanted to hear about it. Ten’s suggestion came to mind. An opportunity for a genuine connection.
“Do you eat food, Kun?” You asked.
“Yes, sometimes. I don’t need it to live like you, but I do enjoy it on occasion.”
“I was about to go to this bakery that I really like. Do you want to come?”
“I would love nothing more,” he answered simply, and you could hear his earnest sincerity in his words.
Kun held the door to Half Moon Bakery open for you, and you thanked him quietly as you stepped through. The warm, sweet smells immediately wafted to your nose as you walked in. A couple of customers were sitting at the small tables they had, but your eyes were on the display cases filled with loaves of bread, muffins, and baked sweet treats.
“Oh hi Y/N!” The familiar cashier behind the counter greeted you brightly, his eyes turning into crescents with his smile.
“Hey, Jeno. How are you?” You pulled your gaze from the food to beam back at him.
“I’m great! Ooh, we’ve got a new limited-edition brownie, it’s got mini peanut butter cups and swirls of peanut butter!” The werewolf informed you excitedly, and you could practically imagine a tail wagging back and forth behind him.
“Was that your idea?” You asked knowingly.
“I might have suggested something…”
“Of course you did.” You chuckled. “It sounds good, but I’m just going to get a—”
“A matcha cream-filled croissant. I know.” Jeno finished your usual order knowingly. He then looked to Kun curiously, “And what about you?”
“A blueberry lemon scone, please. And I’ll pay for both.”
You were about to object, to insist on paying for your own food, but stopped yourself. Reciprocity. You’d have to walk this line carefully, but you guessed you’d have a harder time trying to get Kun to not pay for your food, and really your goal was to stop getting sonnets from the guy.
Jeno immediately grabbed your croissant from the case and handed it to you on a small dish painted to look like a waxing moon. Kun’s scone had to be warned up, so the two of you sat down while you waited for it to be brought out.
“So do you come here a lot?” Kun asked.
“Yeah, usually like… once a week probably?” You guessed. “I used to come three times a week last semester, between these two Monday-Wednesday-Friday classes I had. They were two hours apart so I couldn’t quite go home, but I hated staying on campus during that time. So I’d usually come here, get a matcha croissant, do some homework or whatever. That’s how I know Jeno.”
“It’s lovely here. I can see why you like it.” The vampire appraised, looking around at the celestial themed décor.
“Wait until you try the food. Then you’ll really understand why I like it so much.”
Jeno came out then with Kun’s order on a half-moon painted dish, setting it down in front of him. Once the werewolf was back behind the counter, you eagerly picked up your croissant and bit into it. Immediately, you had found the creamy center, a happy noise coming from the back of your throat.
Setting the pastry down, you looked back at Kun, feeling a bit self-conscious when you realized that he hadn’t started eating yet and was instead watching you eat.
“What, Kun?”
“Nothing,” he shook his head, a tender smile on his lips. “I think that what you did just now was very cute.”
You crossed your arms and leaned your elbows forward on the table. “Fine. If you’re going to stare at me while I eat, I’m going to stare at you while you eat. Go on, take a bite.”
The vampire picked up the scone. “I suppose that is only fair. I don’t think I’ll be nearly as adorable as you were, however.”
Fighting back the flustered smile threatening to overtake your features, you instead laced your hands together in a business-like manner. “I’ll be the judge of that.”
Kun didn’t argue further, bringing the baked good to his mouth. He took a bite, and you watched eagerly as his expression changed into one of surprised delight. After swallowing, he wiped his mouth then spoke again.
“That is… exquisite.”
“I know.”
“Now I really do understand why you come here so frequently.”
“Uh-huh,” you grinned cockily, picking your croissant back up.
Once he got over his initial shock of how good the scone was, Kun engaged you in conversation. “So how is your mother?”
Right. Your supposed phone call that you had to make earlier. Well, time to fib a little. “Oh, she’s good. She’s trying to grow an herb garden, not going so well.”
Not a complete lie, that’s what she had told you when you called her last week. Hopefully your heart rate didn’t jump enough to make Kun suspicious if he was paying close attention.
“I’m glad you got to speak with her.”
The wistful look on Kun’s face made you briefly wonder about his family. Were they vampires too? When was the last time he got to speak to his mom?
“Is your mom…?”
“My mother passed quite some time ago. She remained a human. My father too.”
“I’m sorry, Kun.”
“For what?”
You frowned as you tried to think of an answer. What were you sorry for? His parents passing? Asking that question in the first place? “I… don’t know. I just am. That’s usually what we say when we hear that somebody passed away, you know? ‘I’m sorry for your loss.’”
“I passed away too. How else would I have become a vampire?” He pointed out, lightening the mood a little.
“Well then I’m sorry for your loss of you.” You laughed, earning a chuckle from Kun as well.
“Thank you. The sentiments are greatly appreciated.”
“So what are you studying, Kun? You said you had come from a non-fiction class? Was that lit or writing?”
“Contemporary Creative Non-Fiction. It was literature. I’m an Interdisciplinary major, one of my concentrations is Literature.”
“And the other?”
“History.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, “That just doesn’t sound fair to the other students. Or the professor.”
He smiled a little. “I am doing the Ancient History track. I’m not that old.”
“Speaking of—” You reclined back in your seat to study the vampire leisurely. “This can’t be your first time going to university. Right?”
“You’re correct, this is not. I have been before.”
“How many times?”
Kun hesitated. “It would be impolite for me to answer. I’m afraid it’d sound like bragging.”
“Kun, let’s make a deal.” You shifted forward again, holding his dark red gaze unwaveringly. “I understand that you have been alive for a few hundred years and have therefore experienced more things than I could possibly imagine. That’s exactly why I’m asking you these questions. So how about you trust that when I ask you a question, it’s because I have thought about it, and have decided that I really do want to know your honest answer, no matter how braggy it might sound. And I will trust that your answer is sincere and honest and not meant to be a brag in any way shape or form, and that you have really just lived your life for so long. Does that sound good?”
At the end of your proposition, you stuck your hand out in the middle of the table, waiting. Kun eyed it for a moment before sucking in a deep breath, taking your hand in his cool grasp, and shaking it.
“I accept the terms of your proposal, Y/N.”
“Pleasure doing business with you,” you grinned at him, taking your hand back. “Now, tell me about your three hundred degrees or whatever.”
“It’s not that many, really,” he seemed almost flustered, readjusting his collar for a moment. “And I’m not sure if I can remember all of them off the top of my head.”
“I’ll take what I can get.”
“Let me see… I have gone to medical school.”
“Oh wow—”
“But that was when bloodletting was still an accepted practice, I haven’t been lately.” Kun admitted sheepishly, drumming his fingers on the table as he thought some more. “Then there was astronomy, Latin, mathematics, musical composition, psychology, literature the first time, and I started law school but then the war happened…”
“War?” You echoed in bewilderment.
“I didn’t participate,” he assured you, as if that was the only thing you were possibly confused about. “But it did disrupt my studies. I never ended up going back, which is alright, I didn’t care much for law.”
“Don’t you get bored of it all? I mean, you must be a pro at everything there is.”
“No, not at all. They’re always creating new things to do.”
At your surely skeptical look, Kun continued eagerly, “For example, I learned to oil paint two hundred years ago, but there’s digital painting now. I learned how to sail a hundred years ago, but there are planes to fly now. I can play practically every instrument in a classical orchestra, but there are entirely new ways to make music that are contained completely within a computer, that I have to learn programs, software, new tools to compose on. It’s wonderful. That’s why I like to go back to school, there’s always new fields emerging, new things to learn. And even the fields that I have already have degrees in, like medicine, have made leaps and bounds since the last time I studied.”
His face was bright and animated as he raved about all of this to you, and you felt a fond smile tug at the corner of your mouth as you listened. His perspective was so… refreshing. You had honestly expected more nihilism and angst from a several hundred year old vampire who already held at least half a dozen degrees and had witnessed who knows how many historical events. But it seemed that all those years had done was make him eager to live even more.
“And you’re not... exhausted by that idea? That you’ll never be done with everything?”
“No, not at all,” he cocked his head to the side. “If I finished everything now, that’d make for a very boring eternity.”
“I like that, Kun,” you declared, picking your croissant up. “I really do.”
“Y/N, while I am very glad that you invited me out with you, and I hope you don’t take this as any sort of complaint, I am wondering…” Kun tapped his fingernail against the side of his plate as he seemed to be thinking of how to phrase whatever he wanted to ask next. “You seemed rather… freaked out last night. I do know that you and I don’t know each other well, the love potion didn’t erase my memories. I also understand that what I’m feeling is the effects of a potion. So, why the change of heart on your part?”
After swallowing the bite you’d just taken, you sighed, setting your pastry back down. “For one, I don’t want to be needlessly cruel to you. Even if you are under a love potion, I don’t think that’s an excuse to be rude and dismissive. And, I admittedly don’t know a lot about vampires. I think I’ve only met like one before. I just wanted to talk to you. Is that… okay?”
“Yeah,” he smiled softly. “Of course. I already agreed, you can ask me whatever you want.”
“Great. Because I’ve been thinking, can you get sued for turning somebody who didn’t want to be turned? Would that be a wrongful death case? Or… wrongful life?”
Kun looked at you with something that you could only call astonished adoration. His jaw dropped before his features split into a wide grin, and his shoulders started shaking as he was overtaken by giggles that he then tried to cover with his hand.
“It’s a real question!” You tried to be indignant, but you were far too surprised and endeared by the image of the previously stoic and mature vampire breaking down into giggles in front of you.
He straightened back up, physically wiping the smile off of his face. “Of course, of course it is. Please don’t think I was doing anything less than taking you seriously. I’m just… delighted by how your mind works. I’ve had plenty of people question me about vampires and being a vampire, and that has never been one of their go-to questions. Or any of their questions at all. I’m looking forward to what else you’ll ask me.”
“Well, you need to answer this one first before you can get to any of my other galaxy-brain level questions I’ve got in here.” You tapped your temple sarcastically.
“You’re right, my apologies.” Kun laced his fingers together and leaned forward against the table. “I’m not sure about the civil liability of turning someone against their will, I would have to do some research before I’d be comfortable answering your question. However, governments have tried to criminalize the turning of vampires over the years, to mixed results. Right now, it is illegal to turn someone against their will.”
“How do you prove that someone was turned willingly or not?”
“Unicorns of course help investigations to some degree. I’ve also seen some vampires have their prospective fledglings sign contracts.”
“Pfff,” you couldn’t help the burst of laughter that you let out. “Now that just takes all the romance out of it.”
“The contracts are usually only between service vampires and their clientele.”
“I’m sorry, service vampires?” You repeated incredulously.
“Those that turn others in exchange for financial compensation.”
“Sorry, I should really start paying attention when Renjun goes on his tangents, he’s probably talked about this before. Then you wouldn’t have to give me an impromptu lecture on the socioeconomic standing of vampires in modern day.”
“I don’t mind. I enjoy spending time with you, Y/N.”
You fidgeted with a napkin, looking away from his suddenly too-intense eyes. “Uhm— it’s just that term made it sound like they were escorts or something.”
“Some are,” he replied casually. “Service vampires are a heavily regulated industry, since they’re also responsible for the fledgling they produce, ensuring they don’t kill anybody. That process requires more than a contract, you need a lot of trust to help them control their desires. That trust goes both ways, of course, so those who aren’t service vampires—which is most vampires—will only turn close family and friends.”
You looked back up at him, squinting your eyes inquisitively. “Have you turned anybody, Kun?”
He pressed his lips together for a pensive moment before he answered. “I’ve… considered it. But by the time I had found someone who I could contemplate eternity with, I’d already seen far too many fledglings, too many turnings that went horribly wrong. I understood the risk, but I wasn’t sure if they did. And that was also at a time when vampires themselves weren’t outright illegal, but fledglings were to be killed on sight.”
“Oh— Oh, God.” You breathed out.
“Mature vampires were considered to be in control of our feedings, fledglings weren’t. And, they didn’t really want us going around making more of us.”
“The person you were going to turn…”
Kun looked up at a silver star decoration hanging above your table. “It ended up being for the best, I suppose. We parted ways some years later, less than amicably.”
“Ugh, I couldn’t imagine having to have awkward run-ins with your ex for literally forever,” you joked, attempting to lighten the mood.
He laughed. “Yes, I do actually have some old friends who were married before they turned several centuries ago but the diocese that performed the marriage in the first place won’t divorce them because they’re technically dead and therefore don’t have mortal souls anymore. By their logic.”
You slapped a hand over your mouth in disbelief. “Oh my God, so they’re just begrudgingly married for eternity?”
“Yeah.” He chuckled. “They still get together to celebrate their anniversary every 100 years.”
“That’s nice, I guess.”
After finishing your food up at the bakery, Kun walked you back to your apartment—you weren’t sure if it was chivalry, a genuine concern for your wellbeing, or a combination of both—and now you were once again at your front door.
“Thank you again, Kun, for paying,” you said, fishing your keys out from your backpack.
“I was happy to. Thank you for inviting me to come with you. I enjoyed our discussion a lot.”
You focused your gaze on the keys in your hand. “Me too.”
“Are you busy this weekend?”
“I’m hanging out with a couple friends tomorrow, but I don’t think I’ve got anything going on Sunday. Why?”
“I want to keep spending time with you. As much as you’ll let me, if that’s okay.”
“Oh, right.” You could feel yourself warming up at his candidness. “Uhm, sure, we can do something on Sunday. Did you have anything in mind?”
Kun had almost a mischievous smile on his face. “Would you mind terribly if I surprised you?”
You sputtered out a laugh. “You’re asking if you can surprise me?”
“Some people don’t care for surprises. And I’m not telling you what it is, just that I would like to keep it a surprise, if that’s alright with you.”
“Yeah, Kun, you can surprise me. On one condition.”
“Of course, anything.”
“Bring me your favorite book you’ve read recently.”
He tilted his head, brows furrowed in confusion. “Pardon me?”
“On Sunday, wherever we go, I want you to bring me your favorite book that you’ve read in the past…” you ruminated on how you wanted to quantify ‘recent’ for a vampire, and finally settled on, “…year. You’re half a Lit major, so I’m assuming you own least one or two.”
“Yeah, I think I might’ve read a couple here or there,” he chuckled. “I will bring you one.”
“Not just any one, your favorite, remember?”
“Of course.”
Satisfied that he understood your request, you stuck your apartment key in your lock. “Goodnight, Kun.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.” The vampire once again took your free hand in his delicate, cool grasp, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to the back of your fingers before letting it go.
You paused for just a moment, feeling as though you should say something. But there were no words that came to mind, so you instead unlocked your apartment and disappeared through the door with one last wave over your shoulder to him.
“You’re going on a date with him?” Kunhang scoffed in disbelief from the living room.
“Did you not just hear what I said?” You pushed his head as you walked by to take your seat on the floor around Sicheng and Ten’s coffee table. “We’re hanging out.”
“Sounds like a bad idea...” Your friend muttered, grabbing his beer and taking a swig of it.
“Coming from the guy who suggested I try to get a car out of him.”
“Yeah, a car. Not a date. No strings attached.”
“You’re insane,” you rolled your eyes, trying to turn your focus to the phoenix on your left, who was shuffling the stack of cards.
You, Dejun, Kunhang, and Yangyang were over at Ten and Sicheng’s place for a board game night, which of course couldn’t pass by without a comment or two about your current love potion predicament. And when you had tried to fill Ten in on how your attempt to take his advice was going, your gryphon friend had to add in his two cents.
“Coming from the girl who is going on a date with someone who is high on love potion.”
“I haven’t had a lot of opportunities to talk to vampires that are hundreds of years old, excuse me for wanting to chat.” You accepted your stack of cards from Sicheng gracefully, then turned back to glaring daggers at Kunhang. “It’s not a date.”
He was firm on his stance. “I’m telling you: This isn’t a good idea.”
“Why? Because I’m feeding into his delusion or something? He’s going to be in love with me until the love potion wears off, whether I—”
“Because I think you’re going to hurt yourself, Y/N. You’re too soft for this. Being constantly wooed for who knows how long? You don’t think that’s going to do anything to you?” Kunhang sighed, grey eyes focused on you from across the table.
You held his gaze for a moment, eyes still narrowed at him. Then, you looked away, grabbing a handful of the snacks you’d just retrieved from the kitchen. “I know it’s not real. Can we just start the fucking game? Or does everybody have an opinion on my life that they want to share?”
Ten, Sicheng, Dejun, and Yangyang all looked at each other, then simultaneously shook their heads. Ten went back to passing out the in-game currency to everyone, and you refused to look up at Kunhang despite the lingering feeling of his eyes on you.
Later on, between the conclusion of the first game and the set-up of the next, you were laying on the ground in an attempt to realign your back that had been hurting from the unfortunate hunch that you’d been sitting with. A couple others had dispersed to do various tasks, while Dejun and Sicheng stuck behind in the living room to step up the next game. They were quietly conferring over the instructions as you readjusted the positioning of your shoulders, sighing as one specific part of your back relaxed into a gentle cracking sound.
“Y/N,” Dejun got your attention.
“Hm?” You replied, too comfortable now to get up all the way yet.
“He means well.”
“…Bluebeard?” You asked in confusion, referencing the next game you were about to play, a board-gamified version of the Bluebeard’s Castle fairytale.
“No, Kunhang,” the dragon clarified. “He has every right to be a little worried about you hanging out with Kun tomorrow.”
You sighed again. “I know. I’m going to apologize to him. I just… need to be mad tonight. If I try to apologize today, I’m going to get pissed again and the wrong thing will come out and I’ll just make it worse. We’ve been friends for a few years now, we both need to sleep it off before either of us try to apologize.”
“So… are you still going to see Kun tomorrow?” It was Sicheng that asked you that.
Taking your bottom lip between your teeth, you thought about it. Maybe the smart thing would be to cancel. But you’d already asked him to bring you a book, and you were sure he’d been carefully contemplating that request ever since. Not to mention that you were excited to see him, actually. He was interesting to talk to. You’d met lots of magical creatures, all the ones that you were currently with for starters, but there was something both simultaneously refreshing and homey about talking to Kun, finding out more about him.
“Yeah, I am,” you declared, though you’d known that there was no changing your mind about it. “Don’t worry, guys. Like I said, I know it’s not real. To me, we’re just two buds hanging out. Promise.”
A knock on your door pulled you off your couch the next day. Readjusting your outfit for a brief moment, you then swung it open. The exact vampire you were expecting was on the other side, a heart-stopping smile on his face, bouquet of flowers in one hand, and small wrapped gift in the other.
“Oh, oh wow,” you breathed out, accepting the flowers from him. It was a gorgeous arrangement of yellow tulips and white baby’s breath, simple but enchanting. “Thank you, Kun.”
“Good morning, Y/N.”
“Yeah, good morning,” you said distractedly, eyes still focused on the flowers. You looked up at him again, giving him a bashful smile, “Uhm, here, I need to put these in some water.”
Leaving the door open for him, you turned to go back into your apartment, but were stopped by Kun’s voice.
“Ah, Y/N.”
“Hm?”
He was still standing on the welcome mat outside, hands clasped behind his back. “I need to be invited in.”
“Oh, right, sorry! Kun, please come in.”
“Thank you.” He stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
“So, how does that work with school and going to class? Like, do you just have to be invited into each building or is it each classroom? What about professors’ offices? Is there like a special vampire-only orientation where the president of the college invites all the new vampire students everywhere or something?” You asked him over your shoulder as you moved further into your apartment, your destination being your kitchen.
“The rules are a little fluid, but our university is a public institution, so I don’t have to be invited in anywhere.”
“Oh. Well, that’s a lot less funny than my idea.”
“Yours was very efficient,” Kun tried to placate you as you busied yourself with rooting through your cabinets.
“So what about if you went to a private university?”
“I’ve been to one private university before. However, it was run by vampires, so the owners were dead and therefore nobody needed to be invited in anywhere.”
“Huh. And my apartment?” You knelt down to check under the sink. “I was able to invite you in, but I don’t own it, I rent. Shouldn’t my landlord have been the only one to be able to invite you in?”
Kun had an answer for that one too. “Owner and/or current legal occupant who is there with the owner’s permission can invite vampires in.”
“So my lease lets me invite supernatural creatures inside, but I can’t paint,” you rolled your eyes.
Finally, you secured your lone glass vase at the back of the cabinet under the sink, behind a couple bottles of cleaning products.
“What color would you paint the walls, if you could paint?”
You filled the vase up under the faucet. “Probably a different color in each room. Dark green in the living room, goldenrod in the kitchen, something like that. I don’t know, the neutral beige grey is so boring. Especially with the fake grey hardwood.”
He smiled at you. “Very colorful. I like that.”
Having finally gotten the flowers in water, you turned back to accept the package wrapped in simple brown paper and twine. Curiously undoing the small twine bow first, then tearing the paper open, you saw that it was an old, thick, leatherbound book, and trailed your finger over to read the spine.
“The Complete Works of Sherlock Holmes?” You tilted your head. “This is your...”
Kun went to try to explain, gesturing to a couple small yellow tabs poking out of the pages. “I bookmarked just a couple that I think you’ll like—”
“Kun, I asked for your favorite from the past year, not two centuries ago!” You guffawed.
“Hey, I’ve re-read these in the past year! You didn’t say they had to be published in the past year, just my favorite that I’ve read this year, and this is it. But if you’re dissatisfied—”
“Nope! No take-backs!” You clutched the book to your chest protectively. “I’ll read them. Or, at least the bookmarked ones. I don’t know if I’ll get to them all in this lifetime.”
There was suddenly an unpleasant frown on Kun’s face, a crease forming between his brows. The teasing faded from your demeanor as you set the book down on your kitchen counter beside the vase of flowers.
“Kun? What’s wrong?”
“I just remembered that you’re human, and you know… you won’t… be here forever like I will.”
“Oh, Kun… I’m okay with that.” You reassured him, squeezing his arm.
“I know. Let’s… I don’t want to think about it anymore. Are you ready to go?” His voice was tight, the smile that flashed across his face not reaching his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah!” You grabbed your bag, then gestured for Kun to lead the way.
It was a lovely spring day, and you delighted in the still cool breeze tickling your nose as warm sun shone down on you. The streets downtown were bustling with life, and you pressed close to Kun to make sure you didn’t lose him in the crowd. You were almost knocked into by three smaller figures, a young dryad, phoenix, and human all playing tag. The dryad seemed to be It, shooting out a vine to wrap around the human kid’s waist and yanking him back. The human giggled as his friend wrapped his arms around him tight. The phoenix noticed the lack of her friends and darted back to meet them, a couple soft down feathers falling off the bridge of her nose in the process. You smiled fondly as you skirted around them and continued down the sidewalks.
“Cute,” you commented absentmindedly.
Kun’s eyes lingered on the children for another moment before he turned his gaze forwards again. “Sometimes I really do have to stop and look at where we are.”
“What...” You trailed off as you realized what he must be thinking of. “Oh, yeah. You remember what it was like before humans and magical beings lived together like this, right?”
It was before your time, but humans, magical creatures, and even different kinds of magical creatures all lived separately. You knew bits and pieces, that the kind of integration that you’d grown up with was rather recent. You had your fair share of older relatives who regarded your magical friends with thinly veiled suspicion and mistrust throughout your life.
“Yes, I do. At least, from when I was alive onwards, and I know stories from those older than I am.”
“Can you tell me about it?”
“I think that to start, it’s important to think of a spectrum of non-magical to magical that all kinds of life fall somewhere along, and not an either/or. Humans are on the furthest end of the non-magical, but they can become magical.”
“Like becoming a vampire.”
“Correct.”
“Like you.”
He nodded. “Yes.”
“Okay, I’m following so far.”
“Witches were previously just considered humans that can use magic.”
You snickered. “I know a few witches who would smite you for that, but sure, I’ve heard that before.”
“Obviously, with recent advancements in the study of magic, we know that’s not true.” Kun stopped the two of you to wait at a crosswalk signal. “But generally, it’s been easier for humans to accommodate magical beings that looked more like them over the years.”
“Closer to them on the non-magic to magic spectrum.” You related it back to his framework.
“Right. Humans were more likely to live with magical beings that looked less outlandish, and posed less of a threat to them.”
“Odd predicament for vampires, then. You look almost just like humans, used to be humans, but before blood supplements, you almost exclusively had to feed off humans.”
“Hence the... tangled and tense history of humans and vampires. I can’t really give a clear story of humans and vampires. It’s messy, depending on the time, society, village, individual family that you look at. And then of course, all magical creatures don’t get along either.”
“Dryads and dragons.” You listed off an old rivalry you knew off the top of your head. Historically, dryads despised dragons’ tendency to burn down their forests and fields.
“Right.”
“Fairies and… everyone.”
Kun chuckled. “Yeah, exactly. But the most recent history, here, now, is that mass integration to create the society that you know really came about around a hundred years ago. Witches and humans had been living together for a while, with some dryads, fairies, and even the odd vampire here and there. Then sirens, and gryphons, and phoenixes… I mean, the first human to see a dragon around here is probably still alive, you know?”
“And I just got annihilated at board game night by one yesterday.”
“Like I said... Sometimes I feel the need to just stop and take it all in.”
The crosswalk signal changed then, and the vampire with you briefly looked both ways before guiding you forward with a hand on the small of your back.
You looked over at him curiously, wishing that you could see any hint of his eyes behind his dark sunglasses. “What about when you were turned, Kun? Were vampires... Your parents were still humans... Was it hard for you?”
“I wasn’t living with my parents when I became a vampire. Which was for the best, truly, so there was no chance of me hurting them. But…” He paused, and when you looked over at him, he was looking up at the sky. “I remember when I was a young boy, and I was so small, and the world was too big. And when I was hurt, my mother would take me into her arms and tell me it would all be okay, and I believed her. I just knew it would be because she was there. Because my mother was with me and she was bigger than me, bigger than the whole world. I remember wishing I could’ve had her there then.”
Your eyes had gotten a little misty, and you reached up to dab at them with the back of your hand. Kun’s voice wavered in just the slightest, and you felt your chest tighten at just how strongly he still felt all these emotions after so long.
“Didn’t the person who turned you take care of you? When you were turning, and as a fledgling? Isn’t that what they’re supposed to do?”
“I was turned by a friend. I got hurt, very badly, and he panicked and couldn’t think of how else to save me. He was a very young vampire at the time, he had only been turned himself five years earlier. I was the first person he’d ever turned, he didn’t know what to do, how to take care of me.” Kun relayed all this to you very matter-of-factly, as if it’d happened to somebody else.
“So did you have any choice about it?”
He looked over at you with a serene look on his face. “No. But if I spend the rest of my immortal life mourning the measly forty or fifty years that I would’ve gotten at the time, that would make for a miserable eternity. Every choice that we make or don’t make creates a new life for ourselves, and yes, sometimes for others. And if we constantly mourn all those lives we never got to live, we’ll never have time to live the one that we do have.”
The fist that your hand had curled into over the unjustness of Kun’s turning, relaxed as he continued speaking. You took a deep breath to recenter yourself.
“And your mother? Your father?”
“I saw them some time after I turned. And… it wasn’t any different. They were still my parents.” He smiled, it was bittersweet, but filled with heart, with love. “And I believed again that it would all be okay.”
“And… has it been?” You asked, head tilted curiously. Could a vampire even define such a long life as ‘okay’ or not?
Kun looked down from the sky at you this time, his features turning soft, fond. “More than.”
Kun finally stopped you on a less busy street, all old buildings, stone and brick faces. The one in particular that you were in front of had no distinguishing signage out front, and you peered around curiously for any hint as to what the six-floor building you were looking at was possibly used for. The windows were tinted too darkly for you to see in, and the ornately carved dark wooden door held no clue as to its identity other than the street number, 101.
Your companion pulled on the large iron handle to hold the door open for you. Well, you did give him permission to surprise you, you certainly couldn’t complain about not knowing what was going on. So, you stepped in.
As soon as you crossed the threshold, the air around you became noticeably cooler. Not uncomfortably so, just feeling almost as if you were a basement, the sort of coolness of being underground. You were in a lobby, a woman sitting behind a counter reading a book that looked even older than the one Kun had given you. She looked about your parents’ age, some grey streaked in her hair. But you realized that assessment meant nothing, as her eyes flashed red in the warm, dim light when she glanced up from her book to the two of you.
“Good morning,” Kun greeted her, and stepped up to the counter to hold a small black card the size of a business card out to her.
She took it, skimming the front and back for all of one second before handing it back to him. Without a word, she went back to reading.
“Come on.” Kun ushered you further into the building, through the black velvet curtain past the desk.
This time, you emerged in a much larger room. There were no lights, but it was still illuminated by an old-school movie projector casting a grainy, black and white scene on the opposite wall. You watched as a woman in clothes that you couldn’t even pinpoint the timeframe of—other than definitely not being from the past century at least—walked, turned, and waved at the camera. The clip then replayed from the beginning by itself, no manual rewinding necessary.
You rewatched the short two-second clip again with delight before you turned to Kun. “What is this place?”
“It’s a gallery, of sorts,” he explained, gesturing to the video. “A group of vampires all got together and compiled videos, movies, films, kinetoscopes—every sort of moving image you can imagine—that they had been holding onto over their lifetimes. And they’re all on display here.”
“Kun, this is so cool!” You gasped.
“I think we all—non-vampires and vampires alike—tend to have this idea of vampires as being stuck in whenever they were turned. You know, a vampire turned in the 16th century is treated the same way we treat a painting from the 16th century. Like we’re... artifacts or something. And we’re not, we lived through everything else that came after we turned too. We’re not dead history, we’re living, moving history.” Kun had led you into another room of the gallery as he spoke, where a clip of a busy street market was repeating. “I think this is a good reminder of that. The oldest stuff is on the bottom from the invention of the camera, and the newest up at the top. It goes all the way to the present, digital. The top floor isn’t finished, they’ll keep adding to it as the years go by, as we all keep living through history.”
You watched the market, vendors and customers, families, horses, produce, rugs and wares. Just a microcosm of everyday life from whenever and wherever this was. A peek into moving history.
“Do you have anything here?” You asked, curious if you’d be able to see any microcosm of Kun’s life.
He shook his head. “No. I couldn’t decide what to submit. Too many options. If you ever see my home, you’ll understand that I... I tend to hoard.”
“Thank you for bringing me here.” You watched Kun’s face this time as he was focused on the moving picture. His features were lit softly from the front, cast in the same black and white as the image, except for his earnest, lively scarlet eyes.
The sun was just setting when you finally returned to your apartment. You’d ended up spending the whole day out with Kun. First, your stomach growled as soon as you two left the gallery since it was about lunchtime, and Kun immediately had to remedy that by taking you to lunch. Then, the restaurant you’d eaten at was near the shopping district, so you two meandered and did some window shopping—you really did have to physically stop him from going in and buying you everything that you even looked at for more than one second. And finally, you might have intentionally let slip that you were “kinda hungry” as it approached the evening, and your chest felt funny at the way that Kun’s face lit up before he offered to take you to dinner.
And now, you were slowing to a stop at your front door, getting ready to say goodnight.
“Thank you, Kun. This was a really fun day,” you said genuinely. “And thank you for the book recommendation, too. I’m excited to read it.”
Kun’s eyes sparkled as he smiled at you. “Thank you for letting me surprise you, Y/N. It made me happy to see you enjoy yourself today.”
“Oh, uhm, I have something for you too, by the way!”
“Really?”
“I didn’t think it was fair for you to be surprising me, and for me to be asking for a book on top of that without giving you anything in return…” You paused both for dramatic effect, and to search through your phone.
He took this as an opportunity to interject, “Y/N, you gave me plenty just by agreeing to come.”
There was a prick at your heart from his sweet words. Pushing past that, you tried to joke as casually as possible, “And yet I still want to give you…”
Finally finding what you were looking for, you selected a thumbnail from your camera roll. Shoulder to shoulder with Kun, you held up your phone screen for him to see properly. It was a video that you’d taken today, just a few seconds long, of Kun. You’d taken it while the two of you were out window-shopping, and Kun had stopped at the window of an electronics store to look over a new piece of music mixing equipment that was on display there, his face awash in rainbow by the colorful LEDs inside. You’d been caught by the spark of interest that was on his features, a different look than you’d ever seen from him since he’d been under the love potion. Sure, all the soft smiles and tender adoration you’d been getting was sweet. But to see this magnetism towards something he was truly interested in outside of the effects of the potion, you were utterly entranced.
He looked up from the video to you, brow set in confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“You said you didn’t know what to submit to the video gallery. They’re taking digital submissions, right?”
“Right...”
“I’m sorry if I’ve been treating you like an artifact, Kun. If submitting something old is going to make you feel like that, then maybe you should submit a newer piece of your moving history.”
Kun stared at you, mouth parted. He was silent for a beat too long, and you start fidgeting, suddenly unsure of yourself.
“Sorry, I’m realizing that’s like really presumptuous of me to tell you what to submit— It’s just, you know, another option, if you want it.”
“No, it’s perfect, Y/N,” he reassured you. “Please, send me it. Having you as a part of my moving history in the gallery, I really like that idea.”
You were getting hot under the intensity of his gaze, and looked back down at your phone screen. “Right. I’ll-I’ll send it to you.”
“And you don’t treat me like an artifact, either.” Kun briefly squeezed your hand, then dropped it. Part of you itched to grab his again. “I’m sorry that I made you think that. You treat me like a person, Y/N. You ask me questions, yes, but you ask questions about all of me. Me back then, me now, my family, my major, my favorite book from the past year, even my future. It’s… the first time since I was turned that I think I’ve had someone do that.”
You swallowed thickly, the gulp comically loud in your ears. He held your eye contact, that same loving, peaceful, adoring look on his face as he gazed at you.
Then, he finally looked away, at the setting sun. “It’s getting late. I should let you go for the night.”
Scrambling to reach into your bag, you ascertained your keys and started the first of too many attempts at unlocking your door. “Goodnight, Kun.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.” He took your hand, bending over to press a familiar, sickly sweet kiss to your knuckles. When he stood up straight, he added, “You will send me that video, right?”
“R-Right. The video. Yes.” You nodded dumbly, opening the door then practically slamming it shut behind you.
You didn’t make it even two steps into your apartment, sliding down the wall of your entryway with a drawn-out sigh. Fuck.
“I fucking hate Python,” you declared, snapping your laptop shut. You, Dejun, Yangyang, Ten, and Sicheng were back in the student union getting lunch together between classes, and you and your dragon friend were taking the spare time to work on an assignment. “I’m going to quit school and run away to live in the woods and survive off the land and if I ever see another computer again for the rest of my life it’ll be too soon.”
Dejun snickered from beside you, still happily typing away at his own coding. “You wouldn’t last an hour without wifi, Y/N.”
You groaned, opening your computer back up. “I know... a girl can dream, right?”
“Just change majors if you hate math this much,” Yangyang suggested from across the table, popping a tater tot into his mouth.
“It’s not like you haven’t done it before,” Ten added oh-so-helpfully, eyes not leaving his sketchbook.
“It’s not that I hate math, I just...” you trailed off as you tried to put your situation into words.
“Don’t like it?” Dejun finished for you humorously.
You stuck your tongue out at him. “No. I just... hate math classes.”
“Oh, that’s so much clearer.”
“Just like you hated Literature classes, and hated History classes,” Sicheng pointed out, listing off your previous two majors.
“Exactly!” You exclaimed, despite knowing that the phoenix was poking fun at you too. “You get me, Sicheng!”
“Scary...” he murmured to himself.
As you were desperately trying to think of any comeback other than just sticking your tongue out at him, you heard a voice calling your name. Looking up, you saw Kun approaching your table, and you gave him a small wave of acknowledgement.
He stopped next to your table, gentle smile focused down on you. “Hello, Y/N.”
“Hey, Kun,” you smiled up at the vampire, eyeing the paper bag in his hand with a familiar logo on it. “So you went back to Half Moon?”
“Yes, I did.” He held the bag out to you.
You accepted it, having to bite down on your bottom lip to keep your bashful grin at bay as you peered into the paper bag. An excited squeal left your mouth when you saw exactly what he had brought you. “A matcha croissant! Thank you, Kun!”
“You’re welcome.” He beamed at you.
Looking around the table, you ignored the pointed looks all your friends were giving you, and instead gestured to the empty chair on the other side of Dejun. “Do you want to sit with us?”
“Thank you, I wish I could,” he shook his head. “Unfortunately, I have a class to get to. Goodbye, Y/N.”
“Bye.” You didn’t even flinch when he kissed your hand this time, though your skin was on fire as you remembered very clearly that your friends were right there.
As Kun left, he gave you a final wave over his shoulder, and you waved back before returning to your friends, dread in your stomach. In an effort to appear as normal as possible, you reached into the bag and pulled out your croissant. The table was still dead silent after you had taken your first bite, and you looked up from your food to see the other four staring at you.
“Oh my god, would you guys stop?” You hissed.
“Damn... I’m such a good witch,” Yangyang cracked his knuckles. “That man is heads over heels for you!”
“He brought me a croissant!” You retorted indignantly. “It’s not like he proposed or anything.”
“Y/N, I’ve known Kun for...” Yangyang trailed off, brows furrowing as he seemed to be thinking of how long he really had known the vampire for. “I don’t know, a few years? And he’s not like a recluse or anything but he’s not, how you would say... warm and fuzzy.”
“Oh my—”
“He brought you a croissant! What looks like your favorite kind, if I’m not mistaken?”
You pouted as you took another bite. “Maybe.”
“Looks like Ten’s advice worked then,” Sicheng mused.
“You should probably give him a few more nudges about other stuff you like, though, unless you want to get a hundred matcha croissants a day,” the siren suggested, readjusting his hold on his pencil.
“Yeah. I just can’t figure out how he always seems to know where I am—”
“He can smell you.” The creatures around you all retorted in unison, nobody even looking up from their individual tasks.
You coughed, scrambling to grab your bottle to take a long drink of water. Your other hand instinctually came up to rub at the side of your throat.
“So... how are... things?” Kunhang asked tersely, sitting on the porch swing that he and Yangyang had on their balcony. You’d called him after your last class that day, begging him to let you come over.
You leaned against the balcony railing, taking a deep breath—
“That doesn’t sound good.”
—and let out something between a groan and a screech.
“That really doesn’t sound good.” The gryphon picked up his blue Gorgonade that was sitting on the side table. “Care to share, Y/N?”
“You were right...” You mumbled, burying your face in your hands.
“Sorry, what was that?”
“You were right, okay? Happy, Kunhang? You were right! You know me and my stupid soft little heart too damn well, and you were fucking right!”
“Woah.” He held his hands up defensively. “Sorry, I genuinely didn’t hear you, you kinda muffled yourself. Uh, I’m going to take a guess that this is about Kun?”
“Yes...” You whined. “I almost kissed him today, Kunhang!”
“Y/N!”
“And you want to know the worst part?”
“That’s not the worst part?” He asked, horror on his features.
“No, it’s not! The worst part, is that the only reason I didn’t is because he stopped me!” You bemoaned dramatically, squeezing your eyes shut against the embarrassment as you replayed the horrifying moment over again in your head.
Kun had found you again in a break between your classes. The two of you were just sitting on a shaded bench under a tree in a more secluded area of campus, chatting. You were just talking about nonsense, telling him about the lecture you’d just come from, how it was actually the one math class you had this semester that you liked. And Kun was just listening, and you were sitting so close to him, and Kun was looking at you like you were everything to him, and the next thing you knew, you were leaning in closer and closer to him. Then he ducked his head away from you at the last second, and you were rocketed back to your senses as you realized what you almost did.
“Oh God— Y/N!” Kunhang looked like he was about to pass out.
You covered your face again. “I know...”
“Why did he, you know, swerve you?”
“He said...” You sighed, looking up at the sky. “He said that he didn’t think it was fair, to me.”
“To you?”
“Yes, because I was... ‘falling for him under false pretenses’ since his behavior is being influenced by the love potion and not genuine feelings for me. And he thought that it was best for me, if he kept his distance for the duration of the potion.” Hot tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you repeated his words bitterly. You weren’t mad at him, you were mad at yourself. God, you felt so fucking stupid.
Kunhang’s jaw was on the floor. “You— you were rejected... by someone high on love potion.”
“I think I’m officially the most pathetic person on the planet.” You plopped down on the bench swing next to him, pulling your knees up to your chest.
Your friend scooted over to you, and you felt the familiar, comforting weight of his arm around your shoulders and a wing nestling over you. “No, you’re not. There’s nothing pathetic about being able to connect with people as openly and freely as you do, Y/N.”
You dropped your head onto his shoulder, bringing a hand up to harshly wipe at the tears threatening to spill over. “There’s really nothing pathetic about crying over a vampire that I’ve known for six days?”
That gave the gryphon a moment’s pause as he seemed to be seriously considering your question. Finally, he answered confidently, “Nah. Pathetic would be crying over a vampire you’ve only known for five days. Six days, you’re in the clear.”
That did make you choke out a little giggle, and he gave your head a couple pats.
The door to the patio was suddenly thrown open, and you jumped in your seat, whipping around to see who it was. Which you couldn’t do at first, as Kunhang had instinctually blocked you from the intruder—which always reminded you of a soccer mom throwing out her arm when slamming on the brakes of her minivan a little too hard—so all you could see were grey feathers. Yangyang just ran around the gryphon’s wing to skid to a stop in front of you two, panicked eyes landing on you.
“Y/N!” He pointed at you almost accusatorily.
“Yangyang!” You imitated his tone, pointing right back at him.
“Have you heard from Kun today?”
You exchanged a look with Kunhang. “Uh, I saw him on campus, but not since then. Why?”
“When was that?”
“I don’t know, one, maybe?”
Yangyang checked the time on his phone anxiously. “Five hours ago?”
“Yeah, I guess.” You were growing uneasy with each passing second. “Yangyang, what’s going on?”
“Kun’s not picking up the phone, or replying to my texts. And he’s like... neurotic about that stuff, you know.”
You were aware of Kun’s tendency to reply to texts in an extremely timely fashion, and always call back on the rare occasion that he missed a call from someone. A frown grew on your face. “How long has it been?”
“I first called him... at three, because he was done with classes by then. But I’ve just gotten radio silence all day.”
Chewing on the inside of your cheek, anxiety kept mounting inside you.
Kunhang spoke up. “Did you do something to piss him off maybe?”
“No. And I would know, he has no problem telling me.” Yangyang ran a hand through his hair, then focused a pleading look on you. “Y/N, do you think you could go check on him?”
“No.” The gryphon answered for you.
“Dude—”
You added, “I’ve never been to his place, I don’t even know where it is.”
“I’ll give you the address!”
“I’m not going to go over there uninvited.” You were still arguing but felt your resolve waning fast.
“He’s madly in love with you, this will be more like a great surprise for him!”
“Yangyang, cut it out,” Kunhang told him off.
The witch tilted his head in confusion. “Am I missing something?”
“No, just go over there yourself if you’re so worried. Y/N’s not your personal errand girl.”
“If he’s not even picking up my calls, there’s no way he’ll open the door for me. Y/N, on the other hand…”
“Liu Yangyang, have you ever heard of the word no? Just fuck off for—”
“Kunhang,” you interrupted him, bracing yourself for that venom to be turned on you for what you were about to say. “Thank you, but I-I am going to go over. Yangyang’s right, that’s not like Kun, I want to check on him.”
The gryphon blinked at you in disbelief. “You really think that’s a… good idea?”
You offered him an uneasy smile. “I’m just going to make sure he’s alive. Or… undead, or whatever. I won’t even go in, just see if he comes to the door.”
Kunhang just gave you a look that clearly conveyed his disapproval of this idea.
Double checking the house number with the address that Yangyang had texted you, you took a shaky breath. This was definitely it. It was a modest size, probably two bedrooms, if you had to guess from the outside. Definitely not the sort of exceptionally lavish castle that one might think a vampire as old as Kun would have. With a shaky inhale, you raised your fist up and knocked on the sturdy wood door.
It swung open just a second later. You were expecting Kun to still be in his usual academic sort of dress, maybe even the same clothes he’d been in earlier on campus, but instead, he was just in a grey t-shirt and black lounge pants. So he did own casual clothes.
“Hi, Kun,” you greeted him as normally as possible, very aware of all the layers to the awkwardness here. You had never been to his place before, he knew that you had never been to his place before, you hadn’t been invited over, and he’d just—as Kunhang had so elegantly put it—swerved you earlier, before saying that he was going to keep his distance from you. And now here you were on his doorstep.
“Oh, Y/N, hello.” Kun smoothed over his t-shirt habitually, as if he were meaning to fix the tuck of a dress shirt that he wasn’t even wearing.
“Sorry, uhm, I promise Yangyang sent me. I’m not... uh, yeah.”
He stepped back, holding the door open wider. “Please, come in.”
With your own promise to Kunhang playing in the back of your mind, you walked inside. “Thanks.”
“So, what does Yangyang need?” Kun kept talking as he guided you further into his home, and you looked around, eyes hungrily drinking in every detail.
It seemed like the one thing Kun had never studied was interior design. His home was a maximalist mishmash of stuff he had accumulated throughout his long life. An oil painting in an ornate gold frame hung beside a colorful pop art photograph collage, both above the olive green mid-century couch. In the corner was a desk with several computer monitors, a few pieces of electronics that were unfamiliar to you, and on the wall above it, small panels of LED lights that cycled through the rainbow. It was a lot, but you were charmed, finding yourself wanting to keep looking at everything, ask about every piece. You were sure that they all had some story or memory attached to them.
The two of you slowed to a stop in the living room, and you tore your eyes from the décor back to the vampire with you.
“He said that you weren’t answering your phone. Uh, he was worried.”
“And he sent you because he was afraid that I might not have answered the door for anybody else.” He nodded in understanding.
“W-well yeah, I suppose.”
“I wasn’t answering his calls because I had my phone on silent. I was busy.”
“Oh, sorry. I’ll go, you’re clearly fine.”
“No, Y/N.” Kun took a step forward, closing the space between you two. “You’re already here, and I don’t like the way we left things earlier. Please, stay?”
You gave him an easy, relaxed smile this time. “Sure.”
“Thank you.” He smiled back, then gestured to the couch. “Sit. Do you want something to drink? Water? I’m afraid my fridge isn’t very human-friendly right now, I apologize. If I’d known you were coming I would have—”
“Water’s fine, Kun,” you reassured him.
As he went to the kitchen, you went ahead and sat down where he indicated. The sofa was comfortable, plush, and you felt like you could melt into it and stay here forever. You went back to looking around at everything, a simple joy at the loving chaos that filled his space. A poster for some black and white silent film that you’d never heard of had caught your eyes when Kun walked back in, setting a glass of water down in front of you.
“I love all the stuff you’ve got in here,” you told him as he went to sit at the other end of the couch. “I feel like I could just look at it all forever.”
“Thank you. I usually just get told that it looks like I live in a flea market.”
You snickered. “Yangyang?”
“Well, yes.”
“So, what were you doing? Before I got here.” You took a sip of your water.
“Composing.” He gestured behind him to the desk with all the electronics equipment and LED panels. “Though I have to admit, I wasn’t making much progress.”
“Artist’s block?”
“Yes, something like that.” He sighed, fingertip tracing figure-eights in the upholstery of the back of the couch. “Usually music will help clear my mind, but this time…”
You frowned. “What’s wrong? If you want to share, I get it if you don’t.”
“I missed you,” Kun admitted without missing a beat.
Your grip tightened on your glass, and you took another long sip before replying weakly, “Well, I’m here…”
“Yes, you are. Like a little miracle…”
Kunhang was right again, this was so bad for you, your chest was airy, your head was TV static, your heart hurt. You chugged half your cup.
“Have you not been hydrating properly?” The vampire asked, concern coloring his tone.
“I guess not,” you laughed nervously, setting the glass back down on the coffee table before resting your hands on your legs. You looked up at him, listening to how loud your heart was hammering in your ears. You were sure he was too.
He leaned forward, studying your face carefully, “Is there something you want to ask me, Y/N?”
You opened your mouth, about to, but immediately closed it. There was something that had been pressing on your mind for a while—well, a couple somethings—but you didn’t know if you actually wanted the answers to either, or if it was just a morbid curiosity, and you were the cat who was going to be killed by it. Figuratively and literally.
“Mmm... nope. Nothing off the top of my head. I’m drawing a blank,” you shook your head maybe a bit too enthusiastically.
Kun reached out to briefly squeeze your hand before setting his back in his lap. “It’s okay, Y/N. You can ask me whatever you want. I remember the deal.”
Of course. The deal you’d offered him in the bakery last week. That whatever question you asked him you had thought through and wanted his honest answers to, therefore he would give you them, no matter what they were. Except, despite the fact that you had thought these questions through, you knew they couldn’t hold up to those terms.
You gave up all pretenses now, voice entirely defeated as you admitted, “I know. It’s just— these ones... I can’t keep my end of the deal. That’s not fair to you, I’m sorry.”
He contemplated this for a moment, drumming his fingers on the back couch cushion. “Are they yes or no questions? Or more open-ended?”
“Open-ended.”
“Then... I’ll only answer if I think the answer won’t hurt you. How about that?”
You breathed in deeply, took another sip of your water, and readjusted to fully face Kun, one of your arms resting on the back of couch. “Okay, yeah.”
“Great. Go ahead, when you’re ready.”
Mustering up whatever strength was left in your voice, you asked, “What is it like? Being under the love potion?”
“It’s beautiful.” He began, a giddy smile coming to his lips. His fingers inched forward, bridging the gap between you and gently stroking over the back of yours, seemingly absentmindedly as he spoke. “It’s not a destructive, consuming sort of love, but the comfortable, familiar kind that you settle into after being with someone for a while. Like you just know that they’re your person. Admittedly, sometimes when I’ll think about you when we’re apart my chest will hurt a little, but then when I see you again, it feels like coming home. There are some moments I get overcome with emotion, but it’s not a constant obsession like a new crush or puppy love. I do of course remember what it was like before the potion, and how I felt about you then, but it truly feels like another life— though you can imagine that I’ve used that phrase quite a bit.”
You were biting on the inside of your cheek so hard you started tasting blood. With a sharp hiss, you freed the skin from your teeth, and swiped over the area with your tongue for a moment as you tried to think of an answer, any answer, just something to say to that. Thankfully, Kun seemed to understand the position you were in, and saved you from having to respond.
“What were your other questions?”
“Just— Just one more.” You steeled your nerves. “You had to be bit, to be turned.”
Kun tilted his head. “Yes, though that wasn’t a question.”
“H-How does it feel?”
“You’re asking me to describe being turned to you?” He frowned. “That was a long time ago, Y/N, it was honestly a bit of a blur. I’m afraid I don’t really remember all the details, but I’ll tell you what I can—”
“Not being turned, uhm, being bit by a vampire.”
He squinted one eye closed, then the other. “I can’t—”
“Oh. That’s okay, Kun. I was just curious,” you reassured him, making your voice as sweet as possible to cover up any hint of disappointment. It looked like he was still trying desperately to remember for you, though, scratching at the back of his head and squeezing his eyes shut.
When he still hadn’t said anything a few moments later, you spoke up again, “Kun, I’m serious, it’s okay that you can’t remember.”
The vampire set his gaze on you again, voice tight, “No, I—”
“Oh my god you look unwell again,” you blurted out, taking in his blown out pupils. “Seriously, should I call Renjun? Yangyang?”
He practically leapt to his feet, bumping into furniture on his hasty path to the furthest corner of the living room from you. “No, I know what it is. You should go.”
No way were you going to just leave him like this. You stood up too, but stayed in front of the couch. “Will you tell me what’s wrong with you?”
“I—” He fanned himself with the material of his shirt. “Do you remember what Yangyang was saying about young vampires?”
Of course you did, that idea bouncing around in your head for the past week had contributed to your question in the first place. Younger vampires had a harder time controlling their thirst because all kinds of want became hunger, a need to feed.
“Yeah, but I thought that you were okay, since you were so much older. You haven’t even mentioned anything other than human food unless I brought it up. Why now?”
Kun screwed his eyes shut as if he were in physical pain. “I’ve been okay as long as I was fed. But—”
“Oh my god, me coming over unannounced!”
“No, no, I just fed when I went to get your water. I don’t know if it’s something with how the potion works, but I’m afraid I’ve had to keep increasing my intake in order to stay satiated around you and I’m getting hungrier faster. So I’m very sorry, but you really need to go.”
“That’s it?” You defiantly crossed your arms over your chest.
“What?”
“You’re hungry, thirsty, whatever? That’s all?”
He slowly opened his eyes again. “Y-Yeah, I suppose.”
“You can do it without killing me, right?”
“Y/N—”
“Right?”
“Of course, but—”
“Clearly the end point of this is you starving to death. And I’m not going to let you—”
“We don’t know that. I don’t want you to feel guilted by that assumption into letting me...”
“Kun, wanting to help somebody does not equal being guilted into it!” You finally snapped at him, taking big, stomping strides towards him. “Stop being so, so… chivalrous to the point of self-flagellation! Do you honestly think that makes me feel good watching you do that? Let me help you Kun, that’s what I want, I promise.”
He held your gaze, the inky blackness feeling so much different than the scarlet red that you were used to. But… you didn’t mind it. Didn’t mind the way that the darkness trailed from your eyes to your lips to your neck and lingered there. Liked it. You knew he could hear your heartbeat thrumming in your chest, was able to pinpoint you by scent on the wide expanse of campus. What must that be like now, in such a small space, so close?
“Okay…” His voice was barely above a whisper, hoarse, as if he didn’t trust himself to talk any louder.
Kun was still holding onto the doorframe with a death grip, the wood beginning to splinter under his fingers.
“I’ve… never done this,” you prompted him quietly.
“Oh, right.” He straightened up, attempting to compose himself again. Ushering you back towards the couch, he explained, “Let’s sit down. It will be more comfortable for you that way.”
He sat down in the corner of the sofa, hiking one leg up onto it and keeping his other foot planted on the ground. Kun patted the space between his thighs for you. You sat down in front of him on the same cushion, your back so close to touching his chest that you swore you could feel the brush of his clothing against yours.
“I’m not going to overfeed, but in case you end up feeling faint anyway, you’ll fall back on me, as opposed to buckling to the floor.”
“Oh,” you said, just to fill the empty space of your side of the conversation. “Thank you.”
“Again, I’m not going to overfeed, it won’t be anything more than when you get blood drawn for tests. But just like then, I don’t want you to get up right after, okay? No matter how… good you feel.”
You were a little thrown off by his phrasing, but still nodded. “Okay.”
The vampire got even closer to you, now hovering over your right shoulder. You could hear him inhale as he paused, and a distinct thrill shot up your spine. His cool breath washed over your skin as he breathed back out, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
Then all at once his mouth was on you. The piercing of his fangs lasted for a split second before it was all but erased from your mind by a honey sweet pleasure dripping through your whole body. You could feel the sensation of his lips sucking at your neck too, your blood trickling out from the wounds, and his tongue laving over your skin. But mostly you just felt… good. All of you thrummed from your heart to your fingertips.
A soft moan slipped past your lips as you let your head fall back onto his shoulder, giving him even more room. You felt him stiffen right after you did, as if getting ready to pull away. Reaching a hand up, you blindly grabbed for the back of his head, threading your fingers through his hair and holding him in place against your neck. Kun seemed to understand, going back to contentedly drinking from you. You relaxed fully against him, letting your eyes flutter shut. He easily kept you upright, wrapping an arm around your front to hold you close to him.
You had no way to know or even guess how much time had passed when Kun finally took his mouth off your neck. He leaned back into the corner of the couch, easing you back with him.
“Thank you, Y/N. My miracle…” He murmured, his mouth right next to your ear. A fingertip lightly graced over a patch of skin below the bite. “I’m sorry I don’t have any bite cream on hand for you, I haven’t live fed in years.”
“Mm—” You were starting to come back down from your mellowed-out state, poking at the area yourself. It was tender, duh, but not too bad. “I’ll pick some up tomorrow before class.”
“It needs to be used within fifteen minutes, prior to any normal supernatural healing process starting,” he explained with a sigh. “Again, I apologize. There will probably be some bruising for a while.”
“Kun, it’s okay.” You sat up, turning around to face him. He definitely looked better than before. His eyes were back to red, and he was much calmer. He also admittedly looked a little debauched, his hair tousled from your fingers, and a small drop of your blood smeared at the corner of his mouth.
But as you appraised him—and he licked the blood off his lip—you grew a little uneasy, realizing that something was still… off about him. Just in a different way this time.
“How are you feeling?
“I’m all better,” he confirmed with a singular, resolute nod.
You gave him a relieved smile. “Good, good. We should ask Yangyang about if it’s something with how the potion works, make sure you’re going to be okay for however much longer it’s going to last.”
Kun cleared his throat. “That will not be necessary. I am certain that the love potion is no longer in effect.”
You wanted nothing more than to burst into flames on the spot. Quickly, you scooched further down the couch from Kun as you started a blubbering attempt at a self-deprecating, deadpan apology, “Well, that’s just… awkward. I’m going to go die a hole. Uhm, forget everything, forget me, and with any luck, you’ll never have to see me again. I’m so sorry.”
And with that, you rushed to your feet, with every intent of quite literally running out of the door. Except the living room was spinning, and your head felt like a hot air balloon. Two cold hands were on your forearm and small of your back, guiding you back down onto the couch.
“Y/N, slow down,” Kun chastised you gently. “I didn’t overdrink, but you should still sit for a moment.”
You relented, but buried your face in your hands akin to the way that you so very wished that you could bury your entire self six feet under at the moment. Maybe if you didn’t say anything, Kun would just let you sit in silence until you were recovered enough to leave, and you would never have to talk about any of this ever again. Then one day you would die, and he would continue to live for eternity and eventually forget you and this whole weird six days forever. Sounded like a fantastic plan to you.
“Y/N.”
Of course not.
You pulled your face out of your hands, dragging your eyes from your feet up to his face. He didn’t smile at you tenderly like he would have before, but instead he pressed two of his cold fingers to the inside of your wrist.
“Are you… taking my pulse?” You asked. “Can’t you hear my heartbeat?”
“Blood pressure,” he answered, continuing to hold his fingertips there, and you could feel the blood in your vein pumping against them. “Vampire touch is sensitive enough that if you know what you’re feeling for then you can… Okay, that’s better.”
“Did you learn this at bloodletting school? Because I don’t know if I trust this, you might put leeches on me next.” You tried to joke, hoping it would put you at ease a little. It didn’t help.
Kun looked you dead in the eyes. “I just drank your blood, and you’re going to complain about a couple little leeches?”
You fell back against the back of the couch, covering your face with your free arm. “So instead of letting me fuck off and die in a hole on my own, you want to be the one to kill me yourself, huh?”
“Y/N.” He repeated your name in the same frank tone as before, releasing your wrist. “I have something I would like to say. To your face, preferably.”
Dropping your arm back down to your side, you sat up straight, turning to Kun and bracing yourself for whatever he had to say to you about the past six days. It could be any litany of things. Agreeing with you to never speak about it again, joint proposition to murder Yangyang, an apology from him, demand for an apology from you; you were prepared for it to truly be anything.
“I honestly wasn’t very familiar with you before this whole debacle. I’ve known Yangyang’s coven for a hundred years, and he calls on me for assistance from time to time. I only knew you as the friend of the roommate of a witch that I know.” Kun explained, and you kept as neutral of a face as possible as you listened, having absolutely no clue where he was going with this. “Just like when I was under the effects of the love potion, my memories from before it were not erased, now that it’s worn off, I do still remember the time that we spent together during it. While I am not in love with you at present, after learning as much about you as I did… I am romantically interested in you still.”
You must have been giving him the most dumbfounded expression ever, as he felt the need to tack on an explanatory, “I would like the opportunity to take you on a date— a proper one, sometime. If you would like.”
Your head was nodding before your mouth finally caught up. “Yeah, yeah. I’d really like that too.”
“I can’t... guarantee that I’ll be exactly like I was while I was under the effects of the love potion,” he forewarned you.
“Kun that’s- that’s fine,” you reassured him with a bright smile. “Like you said, we’ll just try it out. I also learned a lot about you, outside of the love potion courting stuff, that I found interesting... and liked.”
You mumbled the last part nervously, messing with your fingers.
“That makes me very happy to hear. Don’t worry, no more sonnets now, I promise.”
“Well... you don’t have to do that… if you want.”
“Oh so you did like it,” Kun teased, reclined back against the arm of the couch with a cocky smirk that you hadn’t seen on him before.
“I was flustered! And confused!”
“That’s fair. I won’t retire my quill yet, then.”
A little over a week later, and you were back at Kun’s house at his invitation. He said he had a surprise to show you, and there was no further information. His penchant for surprises was genuine.
Kun was sat at his producing desk, and you had pulled up a chair beside him to watch. He was just logging into the computer when his phone rang.
“Yangyang,” Kun snorted. He was about to reject it when you stopped him.
“You can pick it up, I don’t mind.”
“He is not important right now.” He turned his phone off, picking up one of your hands to press a cool kiss to your knuckles.
Just a second later, and your phone was buzzing. You sighed, looking at the contact, then held it up so Kun could read it. Kun rolled his eyes.
Yangyang.
You picked up the call. “Hey Yang—”
“Y/N! Hey!” The witch’s voice blared through your speakers, and you quickly had to turn your volume down.
“Yeah, hi, Yangyang. What’s up?”
“Just wanted to chat, we don’t really talk, you know?” His voice was pitched up and he talked so fast that you could barely understand all the strung-together words. “What—what are you doing? Right now?”
“I’m hanging out at Kun’s place, why—” You were cut off by your friend hanging up. Dropping your phone onto the table, you looked at the vampire knowingly. “So I think that means he’s coming over.”
Not even ten minutes later, someone was banging on Kun’s front door. Kun went to go get it as you stayed in your spot over by his producing station.
“Stop it,” Kun deadpanned in place of a greeting as he opened the door.
Yangyang rushed in without so much as a hello. Kun focused an exasperated look on him as he closed the door, then walked back over to you.
“So, what brings you here, Yangyang?” He asked, easing himself back down into his desk chair next to you.
“Alright, it was funny at first but now I’m seriously worried.” Yangyang grabbed Kun’s face, shining his phone flashlight in one of Kun’s eyes, then the other.
“Fuck!” Kun threw an arm over his eyes, pushing the witch away with the other.
“Yangyang, what the hell is wrong with you?” You yelled out, rubbing Kun’s back soothingly. Having that done to you, a human, would’ve hurt a bit; to a vampire’s more light-sensitive eyes must’ve been a searing pain at least.
Kun had recovered a little, taking one of your hands in his for comfort. You ran your thumb over his knuckles, wincing sympathetically.
He half-squinted and half-glared up at your friend. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s been like two weeks, that potion should have definitely worn off by now.” He looked down at his hands with wide eyes. “I must be more powerful than I realize.”
You scoffed. “Hate to burst your bubble, Yangyang, but it did.”
“What? No, he’s still—” Yangyang gestured frantically to your intertwined hands. “You’re still— But, Kun— Huh?”
The vampire sighed, thankfully taking the lead on explaining. “We learned a lot about each other during the experience, and have decided to pursue a real relationship. I’m no longer under the effects of the love potion.”
“That is... There’s no—” Yangyang blinked rapidly at you two. “When? How? Y/N, Kun?”
“The hell does that mean?”
“You’re like a walking, talking, undead pair of corduroy pants, I didn’t think you had it in you, outside of the love potion.”
“Have what in me? The capacity for romance?”
“I was going to say a personality, but yeah, that too!”
Kun rubbed his temples, letting out a low groan.
“For how long?”
“A week.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“I’m sorry, the witch who put love potion in a fucking Gorgonade bottle without telling anybody wants to complain about a lack of communication?” You retorted.
He crossed his arms with a huff. “Point taken, albeit begrudgingly. So it just finally wore off? A week ago?”
“Well, not quite...” You rubbed at your collarbone as the memory resurfaced.
“Then how—” Your friend cut himself off as his eyes zeroed in on your hand at your neck. “Oh. He— Of course! We should’ve thought of that.”
“Excuse me?” You sputtered out.
But Yangyang didn’t even acknowledge your embarrassment, too absorbed in the euphoric lightbulb moment he seemed to have just gotten. “It was a two-factor blood spell. You drank his blood to activate it—”
“Ew...” You muttered under your breath, shuddering at the memory.
“—so he had to drink yours to stop it! Duh!”
The witch was fervently typing on his phone as he spoke, now pacing with it as he buzzed with excitement.
“What are you doing?” Kun asked sternly.
“Taking notes! This is awesome!” Yangyang continued typing away. “I’m so getting an A!”
You and Kun exchanged mirrored looks of skepticism.
With a raised eyebrow, you pointed out, “Uh, but it didn’t work on me like it was supposed to, remember?”
He looked up from his phone at the two of you with the grin of a mad scientist—or, mad witch. “Look at the two of you! I’m calling this a win!”
Kun stood up, grabbing your friend’s shoulders and ushering him towards the door. “Goodbye, Yangyang.”
“Hey, wait! I wanted to ask you about— Ow!” Yangyang yelped as he was manhandled. “No fair using your freakish vamp strength! I was just going to ask if you—”
You couldn’t hear the rest of his sentence over the sound of the door slamming shut in his face. Kun turned back around, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. “If I hadn’t known his coven for a hundred years I’d have killed him by now.”
“No, you wouldn’t have,” you snickered, reaching your arms out for him. “Come here.”
Kun walked back over to you, hands outstretched to hold yours. You gave his colder ones a squeeze, smiling up at him.
“So, what were you showing me? Before he interrupted?” You prompted him.
“Right, right.” Kun sat back down, grabbing the mouse and continuing to navigate through his programs. “I’ve been composing something… and… I wanted… to… show—”
Your phone suddenly buzzed from his desk again, and this time you let out an annoyed groan. “I’m putting it on silent, sorry.”
“Yangyang again?” He asked as you grabbed the device.
“Even worse,” you cringed as you read the name.
“Who?”
“Kunhang.”
⤷ blog masterlist ⤷ anthology masterlist
#no wait#you-#you can’t leave me hanging like this#you can’t do this to me#🥺#I got so invested#what about my feelings#it’s like someone snatched my cupcake away while I was mid-way to biting into it ㅠㅠ#;A;#fanfic#Kun#it can’t be done yet#I wasn’t ready#for it to be over yet _ノ乙(、ン、)_#I need more time#we were just getting started…we didn’t get to blossom…he…we…🥺#I’m as soft or even softer than y/n I cried the whole porch scene 😞#I did an internal fist pump when he said he wanted to try for real#partially cus I was “like wow we really dun goofed NOW. Hendy gon curse me out if he finds out I let him feed on me & leave”#but also#cus I felt sad for y/n-me if he didn’t feel anything anymore#my water got caught in my throat when yangyang said that Kun#is “like a walking talking undead pair of corduroy pants” 😭#rip KunSey#We™️ didn’t get a chance to blossom 😢#& yy u fool why would u leave an electrolyte drink bottle w/ the brand label on it in a fridge!! if u have no ampoules rip off the label!#at the very least#but then I’d have no story to enjoy…& I am chastising a fictional human-adjacent being#i enjoyed this#reblogging to share with the class
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Long Day at School
Daddy! Peeta makes my heart melt. Figured everyone needed some of him to withstand the winter.
#dad bod! Peeta does things to me that I can’t explain on tumblr sorry#bc you can’t tell me after 20 years he doesn’t look like a dad#he’s in his 40s let him eat cheese buns and complain about his back hurting#and I just know the toast babies would hang on him and want to be held constantly#he’d want to hold them constantly#que walking into the bakery and he’s got both kids on his hips and he asks how he can help you#but my personal little heacannon for this pic#the school and bakery aren’t too far apart so he picks up the kids if Katniss can’t (she’s hunting#and he picks them up after letting them play with their friends for a few minutes#in this pic toastbaby girl is probably 5ish and toastbaby boy is a baby so he wouldn’t be in school yet#I headcannon the siblings are 3ish years apart#but Peeta picks up his little girl from school and she’s not chattering about her day like usual#she falls asleep on his shoulder before they even leave town#her name is Willow#but he calls her so many endearing names#buggiebite#the hunger games#katniss everdeen#everlark#fanart#peeta mellark#thg#katniss everdeen fanart#district 12#katniss mellark#katniss and peeta#toastbaby girl#toastbaby
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DAMN. Just finished chapter 17 of Firefight and whooh. I cannot articulate how excited and thrilled I am for this new direction. I love your Death Wish fic and i'll be absolutely damned if I don't continue to love this one with just as much, if not more, fervor. You're an incredible writer. You immerse me in the environments, the sensations, the inner workings, and the emotions of these characters while your words seep both their souls and yours. I really just wanted to tell you how enjoyed your writing is. I look forward to each update with patience and support, and if you chose to end it, life got in the way, or any other reason, I would continue to support you as a writer and artist while repeatedly reading your works. Death Wish is the length of a decent novel and I've reread it about 4 times, each experience unique and loved because there's always something new and poignant to find in your writing. There's so much love and intent in your work, and it's so greatly appreciated. You're my favorite fic writer, thank you for all that you do. Keep doing what you love!!
waghs at you quietly. dude thank you so much you are far too kind to me aaaaaaaa
i have still a LOT of firefight to go!!!! there’s gonna be a planned hiatus in april as i am going away but i have never once abandoned a story and i won’t start now LMAO
#firefight au#fic stuff#I’ll be honest I’ve been VERY nervous abt having a hiatus as someone who updates so regularly#I don’t want to leave anyone hanging and I definitely feel like I’ve set the expectations for updates pretty high LMAO#but unfortunately I will be physically unable to update as I will have zero computer access#when I started writing firefight in NOVEMBER I had no idea I’d still be writing it when this trip came around#that I’ve been planning for uh. four years. so.#but I promise promise promise the moment I’m back home I will be continuing hiatus is not a death knell#just a legit physical limitation LMAO#I’m seriously planning to bring a notebook with me and write in it even if I can’t update so here’s hoping it doesn’t get wet HAHAHA#ok for real thanks for the lovely message I just wanted to use this chance to warn people bc it’s been bugging me that I haven’t said#LOVE YOU SMOOCHES YOU ARE TOO KIND XO REM
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soft!merthur obsessed with each other and being completely, glaringly obvious about it. walking close enough for their fingers to be constantly brushing, talking with their other hand and refusing to break the touch. standing next to each other in a group, slowly shifting closer and closer until they’re pressed up against each other. despite there being other people, whenever they speak the other just has to respond leading them to turn to one another and have their own back and forth, their heads tilting closer and closer until their noses are just inches apart. merlin pretending to find issues with arthur’s clothes to fix that aren’t actually there just to touch him but arthur’s not gonna comment on that bc it means he gets to feel merlin’s touch. gazing at each other across the room, across the training field, across camp, etc and just watching them exist with the softest gaze and a small, tender smile. when the other feels their gaze they look up at them first and meet their eyes unflinchingly. them staring at each other for a moment before they resume what they should be doing (albeit slightly flustered). arthur finding any excuse to keep merlin in his chambers just a little while longer when he should be retiring for bed
#the way this is literally just canon merthur 💀#they ARE that annoying couple that can’t have a singular conversation without mentioning the other#my man my man my man#gwaine is hanging on by a thread and constantly complains to the other knights how they should just#grab each other by the face and smush their lips together#leon defends them and says he thinks its sweet and romantic#elyan agrees but if he has to watch the two make out with their eyes when hes standing right there after asking a simple question#hes gonna lose it#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#fanfic#fanfiction#fic idea#hc#head canon#headcanon#soft merthur will be the death of me#they absolutely tease and mock one another bc thats just how they flirt#but when they get all soft and their insults are said with such a gentle voice#oooooooohhhhh im melting#when arthur does something particularly stupid and merlin just laughs and murmurs ‘dollophead…’ with a smile???#arthur is no longer on planet earth. leave a message#arthur winning a sparring match/tournament and immediately running up to merlin and going ‘i won! did you see??’ like an excitable puppy???#merlin cant feel his fingers or toes
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hm. yknow, if riz was to be in a relationship it’d have to be a poly one, because a monogamous one would be doing the pairing-off-esque thing that he deeply doesn’t want to happen. if you presume he has a ‘favorite friend’ you’re falling into the same trap he is by presuming that some friends mean more (and he presumes there is always the least favorite friend). it feels like this kind of relationship hierarchy is what he doesn’t like, because he feels like he’s always going to be the odd one out and the one that everyone’s leaving
#like idk i don’t think riz coming out would kill baron. bc it doesn’t solve the underlying issue. and tbh. you can’t. so idk what’ll happen#a poly relationship wouldn’t like work out necessarily bc he’d still have the everyone leaving me fear bc it’s an internal fear#but at least in a poly relationship u don’t necessarily have the same ‘this is my *special friend*’ relationship hierarchy kinda narrative#that most monogamous relationships (whether romantic or qpr or whatever) do#riz gukgak#riz fantasy high#fantasy high#like… why are some of their friendships seen as ‘more important’ despite evidence that they all care deeply for each other#it feels odd to rank them and also antithetical to what it feels the point of this narrative is#they became friends like at the same time. they’ve been friends since. sure some may hang out more but why do u think some *matter* more?#*a poly relationship would instantly have its own problems. but riz in a poly qpr makes so much more sense than riz in a monogamous qpr.
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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.
and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠
I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.
I’m just. I give up.
this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭
#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive#half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass#NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone#but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her#all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed#just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one#like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no#leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate#of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it#like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for#oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow#and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks#towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else#I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey#and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense#I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too#I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted#to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest#and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long#fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest#for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days
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ive been sitting on the cod home screen waiting for these goddamn gamepass points to pop and my dumbass forgot that i bought bo6 for the beta and am no longer playing on gamepass 🪦 i haven been sitting here for 2hrs trying to get this shit to work and it turns out im just an idiot
#i mean we already knew i was an idiot#but now infinite isn’t working#i just wanna grapple around and murder some aliens#i was supposed to play cold war but of course#bromigo messages me 20x in a row and then when i apologise for falling asleep#he leaves me on read#like bruh you literally live on the other side of the country#like you can’t be like let’s play and then not give me a time when i ask#and then spam me at 1am my time and get angry when i fall asleep#like bruh#we’re hopefully playing tomorrow but we’ll see 🙄#im not hopeful honestly#i dont know i might go grab an açai bowl for breakfast and then just watch movies or something#i still haven’t had my marathon yet#20$ says that’ll get bromigo to wanna hang out
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when the dnd session was so insane you’re like “damn I want to rewatch that bit” but you can’t because it was not an incredible fantasy film but just you playing make believe with your friends
#INSANE SCENES THIS EVENING#dialogue echoing in my head includes: ‘resurrection isn’t my strong suit’ // ‘then make it your strong suit’#‘oh darling! don’t scare me like that. come here. let’s go home.’ // ‘what the fuck have you done?’#‘(laughs) oh yes. I’m sure if all those people had just had a sword and a shield that things would have turned out differently. I’m being#lenient but my patience is running out. so spare me the insult of your sword. cunt.’#‘ten million is a big number. it should feel different to one body in a cage or one hanging from the rafters but somehow it… it feels the#same.’#genuinely stopped typing to do a despair event horizon stare into nothingness#our dm can cry on command lads and he was weaponising that today :’)#so many unbelievably fucked up things happened I cannot believe it and I am having a conspiracy theory board moment trying to make sense of#it#DnD#so many other moments I have written down but can’t remember verbatim but also WHY DIDN’T THEY ASK ME… IF I WANTED TO LEAVE#@CASUALAGRESOR IF YOU ARE READING THIS HOW DARE YOU I AM SO SAD
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(face in hands) (again) men will simply feel the walls closing in around them
#my brother got covid from hanging out with his boyfriend. again.#and by the sounds of it they want to quarantine at our house.#ih his room which is. you know. directly adjacent to my room.#aaaaa and we have a trip coming up in two weeks and then my job starts in full and just#if he comes here i’m literally leaving to go stay at my partner’s instead#but it’s killing me because i’ll have to leave my pc and tablet behind and just#aaaaaaa i feel stressed i feel stressed#i’ve been in an exhausted fog for the past two weeks and it feels like i can’t get anything done#it’s like time has just been slipping by me and it makes me So So Upset#like what do you mean we’re more than halfway through august!!!!#and yet also: FUCK!!!!! I TOTTED THROUGH AUGUST!!!!!#i’m coming dangerously close to feeling the way i did during spring semester#when my brain is craving a release like crack cocaine but it’s not coming#every other day i’m dealing with work crap and hassling with irl things#and when i’m not doing that i’m rotting at my desk fatigued out of my mind#trying my best not to pass out until 9pm when it’s reasonable to do so#just staring at whatever video i can put on and blaring it loudly so i don’t fall asleep#aaaaa…………..i want out of this………. i’m on my break and yet i still want out aaaaaa……..
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i’m going to strangle this man with my bare fucking hands i can’t wait to see him just to set some things straight
#i have a little crush#and he’s so great he’s so fun he’s so charming and he just loves leading people on#and i’m tired of it! you can’t spend the entirety of june hanging out with me every day and then disappear and then we run into each other#in mid august and everything’s fine we’re hanging out we’re both at the library every day etc but then you start throwing oh i’m so in love#with you jokes in the middle of a conversation and then spend an afternoon with me sitting on different benches just to leave me on#delivered i am not one of your little victims#like i don’t care at this point i lied when i said that i have a crush i just like hanging out with the man and we could be really good#friends if he stops acting like an imbecile like babes in order for us to be friends you have to text me sometimes it’s not enough that you#remember every little thing i’ve ever mentioned including my outfits#none of my friends like him but ones who did hang out with us a couple of times say that he’s a bit sleazy but really fun so#just to give you some perspective
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things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs
like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out’ but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something
#her pain doesn’t seem to be too bad now that she’s got pain relief so idk what’s stopping her from sleeping#she won’t even lie down unless i’m sitting next to her. she just sits there staring out the window#her pupils are also taking up her entire eyes and have been all day#that’ll be a side effect of the medication and maybe the lack of sleep? but it won’t be making her feel any better#she can probably barely see at this point#like imagine you’ve been awake for 2 days after surgery and you’re in a lot of pain and haven’t eaten since before surgery#and are also on strong painkillers. and you also have no idea what’s wrong with you or why everyone’s doing things that hurt you#bruh your brain would be COOKED. there’s no way she has any idea what’s going on rn but she’s clearly feeling terrible#personal#like i think she’ll be ok in the long-term but she’s gotta somehow get through all these immediate issues#last time something like this happened she stopped drinking and never started again#not eating or sleeping don’t have workarounds as simple as putting water in her food#it really doesn’t help that there’s so much other shit going on rn#i’m doing a whole bunch of stuff with my phone and computer that’s taking a lot of work#but also my sister’s going on a long overseas trip that she’s leaving for tomorrow#so the combo of dad and sister coming and going constantly and also like 6 random deliveries for tech stuff in the last 2 days—#has the dogs really wound up. so georgie’s been howling at absolutely everything#and it’s rainy so my clothes aren’t trying and they’re hanging on a rack hooked on the hallway door so the door can’t close#which puts one less door between my room and the dogs so they’re waking me up every time anything happens#and i sleep during the day so that’s ALL THE TIME. i’ve had like 8 hrs of sleep between the last two afternoons#my sister always has so much random life stuff she wants to talk about and was getting really annoyed that i wasn’t very receptive#like ‘im about to go away for 3 months’ sorry i know its a big thing but i can’t just reschedule peach’s medical emergency
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Shadow is giving me some real grief in the IAU, I know how he shows up and some of what he does after that but I have no clue what to do with him after the stuff in the second movie occurs
#*shakes him* I WANT YOU AROUND BUT I CAN’T DECIDE WHERE TO PUT YOU#I have how he shows up planned out pretty well but after that?? nope#do Time and Malon adopt him? maybe it would be better if Sky/Sun did instead? I feel like Sky could handle him pretty well#but they also have triplets coming around when he shows up so I don’t know if they’d want a disaster shadow gremlin to deal too#I don’t think warriors would be a good fit#but who does that leave??? does he just go ‘adios’ and leave them all except to randomly reappear to hang out with Four?#could I grab Ezlo and have him do something? make Link’s dad from the manga show up? that might be weird though...#maybe [redacted] could handle him but he doesn’t show up until a good deal later#is there anyone I’m forgetting#gaepora? an impa? a Zelda??#maybe he could go live out with Talon? help on the ranch?#hrm. maybe.#rambles from the floor#incredibles au#don’t mind me thinking out loud in the tags here
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me deciding to finish my cheers rewatch at 1am last night and then sob for 20 minutes straight bc this goofy sitcom has anchored me and brightened my life for the past year and now it’s over for real for me
#this has been a text post#obvi i am forever!!!! pissed at how dirty they did diane. but.#the speeches at the end abt friends who have became family got to me#and it gets me reflective abt life as a whole and how i say i love you freely bc people do leave or you lose touch#and i always want people to know that the love remains. for me anyway. life is just saying goodbye to people#and the end has so many people going their separate ways and i’m also like no!!! hang out in that bar forever!!!#so yeah. just a lot.#i totally get why the cast got stinking drunk & made leno’s life hell on the post finale ep#that’s FAMBLY!!!!!!!!#and i can’t afford it rn but i’ve decided i want a cheers tat i just have to brainstorm what i want#this show has saved me AND it made me like six different friends!!!!#i love you cheers cast i love you charles brothers and james burrows i love you cheers#i’m gonna do a frasier rewatch probs but w cheers i know i’ll come back in a couple yrs. bc sometimes you wanna go…
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ART! IVE DONE ART FINALLY! The opposite of Star Crossed Lovers is them, Star Torn Lovers? Sharing their feelings only under the dark moon in fear of persecution. Always crossing paths but still just out of reach. How sad
[Anthro piece of Mothwing and Leafpool from warrior cats, Moth on the left and Leaf on the right. At the bottom is a paw with the left side tinged red with inky blood on the claws and the other with faint stars and blue tinge. A large moon is above Leafpool and a Sun is above Mothwing. Between them is three stars layered on top of each other, the largest yellow, middle on blue, and inner one dark green which has been broken apart. Three diamond stars point towards Leafpool’s belly.
Mothwing is a yellow tabby with rosette spots and longer white claws she’s filed down, her eyes are a bright amber with a streak of icy blue and she’s looking back to Leaf. She wears a blue dress that has a ombré of yellow to orange on the bottom and sleeves. She has a belt across her mid section that’s leather. She has a pouch with a leaf pin holding it closed, a dark purple necklace falls down from it along with a piece of wisteria. Along with a knife holster with her brother’s knife which has a northern goshawk’s tail feather hanging off the hilt. Her left ear is torn in half breaking apart the moth shaped tuft on her ears along with three more scars on her cheek. On her head is a orangish gray bandanna to shield herself from the stars as a show to her not trusting them list most other clan cats. On her paw that’s holding Leafpool’s paw is a leaf bracelet.
Leafpool is a dark brown tabby with yellowish patches under her eye in a moon shape, fringe, and paws. She has very curly hair and folded ears that look like a heart with a fern like shape on the top half of it with a yellow patch. She is looking back to Moth with hazel eyes that are green and amber with a orangish pink heart nose. She wears a flowy green dress with lighter collar and wrist cuffs over it being a apron with a big pocket full of plants. The pocket has a stitched diamond over it. Inside the pocket is a few leaves, petals, burnet sprig, and yew branch along with similar leaves in her hair. At the corner of her apron is a stitched with a patch that has bramble tendrils with claws instead of thorns, being the sign she got for Brambleclaw to be deputy. Beside it under her pocket is the “Blood Will Spill Blood” patch that is a sunset over a red lake with blood dripping into it. Her last patch is of the Moonpool which she found showing the moon over the pool with stars reflected in its water along with leaves around the moon. On her paw is a bracelet with a moth wing on it.
The faint signature “Nightly-Ruse 2023” is near the bottom. End ID]
#anthro WC#anthro warrior cats#Mothwing#leafpool#night knacks#Mothpool#mothleaf#both of them are fat you can’t stop me. Moth is more chubby but Leaf is very much a big lady and I love her#anyways for some outfit trivia#Mothwing has Hawk’s old knife which also has a goshawk feather hanging off it#she wears a leaf bracelet and little head wrap to shield her from the stars as a contrast to Leaf who doesn’t wear one#she also has some wisteria. oh and her longer claws are trimmed to show she’s not like her dad#Leafpool is very conservatively dressed with her apron with plant pockets and various sewn patches for each prophecy she’s had#the thorn for Brambleclaw becoming deputy. the blood will spill blood. and her finding the moonpool#the power of three hasn’t been shown yet so she doesn’t have that patch#though it was sown on the center of her apron after the reveal to always keep her to her mistake#she’s also pregnant! this is just after Hawk’s death and her coming back#in her pocket she has some normal leaves. strand of burnet. and a yew twig#lastly she has her little moth bracelet for Mothwing#warrior cats#wc Art#warrior cats art#wc
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what if i brought cori’s mom to tural 🥺
#i just think if you send your child into the world thinking you’ll never see them again#and then you hear of their deeds and think i can’t stay in this forest anymore so you go to the front to help#in the battle to free your homeland and you find your child there after like 5 years#and then immediately after that they essentially choose to sacrifice themself to save the star but live#you should get to take a vacation#alao she can hang out with uvlo and shunye#and talk about mining#this is how i got here btw i was thinking about writing a fic where cori’s mom gives her a quartz to protect her#and then i was like where did she get it? her mom. where is her mom? the skatay range#if she’s in the skatay range why didn’t annika take cori there. actually why did annika stay in golmore with cori at all#why didn’t she take them there or leave for eorzea or doma#and that was too much for me to think about this morning#i need a text post tag#endwalker spoilers
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