#you can see some of them for like .05 seconds

[glassartpeasants]

How To Love .05

Trafalgar Law x F!Reader

Warnings: animal death, stalking, mentions of abuse, angst, it is edited best to my slow computer abilities

A/N: here it is. yayyyyyyyyyy

~~~

Days pass without a word from the police regarding your car or the person who totaled it. Each second of the day, you checked your phone, praying for a call or a message, yet nothing. The thought of that psycho coming to the apartment haunted your dreams. They’d be staring over you, watching you sleep. And when you’d see them, they’d pull out a knife and bring their hand down. Thankfully, you always woke up before the knife actually hit you. 

It causes you to lose sleep to the point that you rely on coffee and energy drinks even to keep your eyes open. The paranoia and dread that something was wrong, a shadow towering over you, was genuinely exhausting—mentally, physically, and emotionally. 

Thankfully, Law had been getting off around the same time as you, so he would be able to drive you home. Eustass had offered a few times, but you declined. It was still hard to be next to him. To look at the face of a man who had shattered your heart so carelessly. While you were grateful for him taking you home and getting you McDonald's that night. You still weren’t able to not want to beat the shit out of him just for making you go through the heartbreak.

Then again, if it weren’t for his infidelity, you wouldn’t have reconnected with Law. You haven’t felt like this even when with Eustass. It was just like you could stare at him for hours and never get bored. Listen to him rant and ramble about his work day or the new episode of Sora the two of you watched together. There wasn’t anything he did that you could complain about. You’d do anything for him if he asked.

“(Y/N)! Did you get the mail?” Law’s voice clears the smoke in your thoughts, returning you to the present.

“Huh? Oh, no, I haven’t! I’ll be right back and get it, though!” Without wasting a breath, you put on your shoes before opening the door. Still, being careful of your hand that contains the burn you received only days prior.

As you open the door, a horrific stench hits your nose, causing you to cover your nose and mouth with your shirt. Your brows furrow as you peek your head out of the apartment, wondering what could cause such a terrible scent.

“What is…” Stepping outside, you're met with a shoebox the size of a child’s box. Kneeling, you examine the box. Pulling off one of your sliders, you use the back of it to open the lid. Upon opening it up, the stench worsens, causing you to gag. “What the hell is in there?”

Taking a cautious step towards the box, you once again use the back of your shoe to flip up the lid quickly. Holding your breath, you look inside the box before letting out a shrieking scream. The scream causes you to stumble back into the apartment before you slam the door shut. Tears stream down your face as you tremble behind the door.

Hearing the commotion, Law rushes to your aide, a look of worry and panic written on his face. “(Y/N)? What’s wrong? What happened?” He kneeled to your level to try and comfort you. You point to the door and look up at him with glassy eyes and a trembling lip.

“Outside…in the box.” A sense of unease fills Law’s stomach as he stands up. Taking another look at your terrified form, he rolls his shoulders before opening the door.

Upon opening the door, Law sees an open shoe box before the unruly scent hits his nose. “Jesus Christ-” Looking over the open lid of the shoebox, Law can feel his stomach churn. Inside the small shoebox was multiple pictures of you.

Pictures of you at work, coming home, shopping, and even some from outside the window. Many zoomed in and decorated with markers, depicting you in many ways. Black sharpie scribbled your face out, x’s over your eyes, adding horns and a tail, and even with names that he couldn’t fathom. And on top of it all, there was a dead pigeon on top of the pictures. It looks to have been deceased for a while, which is the cause of the smell.

“What the fuck?”

“I can’t believe he’s dead…” The sound of your mourns makes Law turn back to you.

“He?”

Puffy-eyed, you grab onto Law’s pajama pants leg as you struggle to breathe. “Stumpy…he was a hurt pigeon that I cared for outside my job during the winter since he doesn’t have a wing on his left side. He can’t fly and relies on me and the other cafe workers to survive. When he stopped showing up, I-...” Turning your head, you get another glimpse of the poor animal's corpse before snapping right back straight, the sight only causing more tears.

“I can’t believe someone would do something so horrible to him.” As you cried, Law couldn’t get over the multiple photos of you that were taken without you even noticing—each more eerie than the last. The fact that the person responsible hurt something that mattered to you meant this had to be someone from your inner circle.

Questions sped through his mind about who it’d be, but despite his need for answers, he knew that questions would probably upset you more. And he hated seeing you cry. 

Law sat down next to you after closing the door, leaving the disturbing scene behind him as he sat on the floor beside you. His heart beat in his chest at the proximity between the two of you, the heat of your body hitting his own as he put his arm around your shoulders.

“I’m sorry (Y/N).” Law felt his heart leap when you put your head on his shoulder, curling up in the comfort he offered.

“Who could do something so cruel? To take a life like that?” You whispered into his shoulder.

“I don’t know. Only a few people and your co-workers knew about him, right?” Nodding into his shoulder, you clutch the fabric of his shirt.

“Yeah. People outside my job were (.....) and Eustass. And now, you. I could have sworn I told you…”

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll figure this out. I’m going to call the police to come and take the box. I have a feeling it has something to do with your car.”

Pulling out his phone, Law dials the police, his arm wrapped around your huddled body in a firm embrace. A small fire sparked in Law’s chest as he saw how serious it had become. Initially, Law thought it was a simple case of wrong identity when your car got vandalized, but now, with the scribbled pictures and the targeted attack on something that meant a lot to you, it was apparent he was wrong—very wrong.

You hadn’t said anything about the pictures, so he hoped that you were too distracted and distraught about ‘Stumpy’ to notice the multiple pictures. Hopefully, it’d give you some semblance of sanity not to have to feel fear in your own home, knowing someone was watching you.

~~~

You didn’t want to tell your co-workers about Stumpy or the photos that had shown up on your doorstep the day prior. Didn’t want to break their hearts and let them worry about a problem that wasn’t their own. It was hard to hide the shaken and paranoid look you now held in your eyes.

You knew why Law hadn’t brought up the pictures; he didn’t want you to have something more to worry about. While your heart fluttered at first, it was still overpowered by fear. You wished you hadn’t seen it. Wished you were left in the dark about the fact you couldn’t even the curtains open anymore in fear someone was watching you out of them.

Since Law didn’t know you knew about the pictures, he wanted you to stay home so that you didn’t have to be at work alone at night. While you would’ve agreed to it if the box had shown up at your job, it didn’t. It showed up at your door, right before the place that’s supposed to keep you safe from the horrors of the world. Now, what once had a feeling of safety had been tainted.

“Hey! Are you going to take my order or what?!” A snarky voice pulled you from your mind, dragging you back to the present.

“Oh-oh yeah, sorry. What can I get you, ma’am?”

Rolling her eyes, the woman crossed her arms and answered. “I’d like a thunderstorm Turnover with the Morning Matcha Latte. Hot.”

“Of course, and what size will that latte be?”

“Small.”

“Perfect, and your total comes to $7.86. I’ll get your turnover and wait for your drink down there.” With a huff, the lady pays and waits at the end of the counter. You rub your face with your hands before grabbing the monster next to the cash register and taking a huge chug of the carbonated drink.

Putting back down the monster can, you feel a hand on your shoulder. “I’ve got this. How about taking some water instead? You look like you could use it.” Killer’s comforting and understanding aura has you letting out a sigh of relief. 

“Thanks, Killer.”

Going into the breakroom, you pour yourself some water before taking a nice sip of the cold liquid. Even with it sliding down your throat, you felt no different, so you cup your hand that wasn’t injured and let water fill them before splashing it on your face. “Come on (Y/N), get your shit together. You're fine. Nobody’s outside, the sun is still up, and I won’t be closing alone. Law will pick me up and keep me safe like he promised.” The sound of your heart echoing in your ears has your head spinning violently.

“Fuck, man. This shit sucks.”

A vibration in your pocket causes your attention to shift to your muted phone. Pulling it out, you see it’s from an unknown number. Typically, you’d never answer it, always figuring it’s from spam callers. But with everything going on, you felt this could have something to do with your stalker. If you answered it, could you use the number to track them down?

So, with a deep breath, you answer the unknown number. “Hello?”

“Hello? Is this (Y/N) (L/N)?”

Swallowing your spit, you respond. “Um, yes, it is. Can I help you?”

“Great! So your services are still available then?”

“My services? I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Oh, come on, don’t be such a bitch. I’m a paying customer! Why put up ads for sex if you're just gonna be a prude broad?” Furrowing your brows, you pull your face away from the phone, looking down at the cellular device in shock.

“Excuse me, asshole, but I have no idea what you're talking about, so shove your pissy attitude up your dick and trip on a knife.” You slam your thumb down on the end button before blocking the number.

Ad’s? For sex? Not only have you never done anything like that before in your life, but why the hell would someone put up such an ad? And what desperate bastard would actually agree to something when it’s 9/10 a scam or a way to get robbed?

It didn’t make sense. How did your number and name get on a website that promotes that? It’s not like you give your number out to strangers. Especially not online. So how the hell could this happen?

RING! RING! RING!

Looking down, you see another unknown number. Narrowing your eyes, you have a sinking feeling about the nature of this call. “Hello?”

“Hello, beautiful. I hear you're looking for a good time.”

“No!” Once again, you end the call quickly, slamming it down on the countertop. “Fuck!”

Looking into the mirror, small tears of frustration slip past your cheeks. You quickly wipe them away before shoving your phone back into your pocket. With a quick, shaky exhale, you return to the front, ready to continue what seemed like a never-ending day. 

It occurred to you that the calls could relate to the harassment you’ve been experiencing. And despite narrowing it down, the thought of someone giving out your personal number to strangers for sex made you sick. The cops could track down the people who made the call, right? They have to. Maybe you could leave early and have Law bring you to the police station to give them an update. 

As you move to the register, a man approaches the counter. His face is neutral, but there is a look behind his eyes that gives you goosebumps.

“Hello. I’m Officer David, and I'm here to ask your co-workers about your case and the shoebox that was delivered to your apartment.”

“Oh! I can get them for you!” Not wasting a second, you rush to grab Killer and another co-worker to answer the officer's questions.

While you didn’t doubt he was an officer, as you saw the badge when you looked closer, he just gave you an icky feeling. “Hey, Killer, Janet, an officer wants to talk to you guys. It’s about my car?” You didn’t add the pictures or the corpse of Stumpy once again. Once again, wanting to spare them the pain of knowing a beloved shop ‘pet’ was so brutally slain.

Killer and Janet looked at one another before nodding and moving toward the cop. “I’ll finish your guys' orders, no biggie.” After giving them a thumbs-up, you quickly went to work to finish the orders.

“Hey officer, how can we help you?” Killer and Janet go to the register to answer the cops' questions.

“I have a few questions regarding the vandalization of Ms. (L/N)’s car, the shoe box full of pictures, and the animal carcass dropped off at her apartment.”

“Shoe box? We don’t know anything about a shoe box officer.”

“Yeah, first time I’m hearing about it.”

“Hmm. Well, have you two seen any suspicious activity or people nearby or around while she’s working?” Killer and Janet look at one another before Janet’s eyes widen.

“You know, now that you mention it, I think I’ve seen a red Honda Civic pull up in the parking lot around the same time every day when (Y/N) goes to take a break outside for some air.”

“Actually, yeah, I remember what you're talking about now. It has a huge crack in the front window. It never comes in for anything; it only sits in the parking lot and leaves when (Y/N) comes back in.” The officer hums in acknowledgment as he writes down their statements. 

“I see. I’d like to take a look at the tapes, please.”

“Sure, our manager will be back in ten minutes, and she can open the security camera door for you.” The cop's face turns a little sour before returning to its neutral expression. 

“No need. I’ll simply come back later.” Without another word, the officer left, not sparing you, Janet, or Killer another glance. The lack of lights and identification raised a few questions when he got into his car. But with no real reason to question it, you continue the work day.

~~~

The sound of call lights seems to echo in his ears as he types on his computer. It felt as if the entire day had been nonstop. One moment, there was a young patient with a common cold, and the next, he had a patient having an active heart attack. Yet every moment was spent worrying about you, the box never leaving his mind.

The pictures covered in permanent marker, x’s on your eyes, obscenities scribbled onto it, and even badly drawn art of you being killed in different ways. He was thankful you didn’t see the polaroids. He hoped you didn’t see the polaroids. The security video and deceased work pet were already enough hell for you. You didn’t need to worry about how many knives weren’t in the kitchen block at home.

“Oi, Law! We got a male twenty-three in Trauma Bay nine! Motorcycle accident. Brakes broke, and he ran a red light, getting T-boned by a car.” A nurse barged out in, out of breath, her scrubs already having a bit of blood on them.

Law quickly jumps to his feet and rushes towards the trauma bay. Nurses crowded the body on the bed, and cops waited outside the room, looking serious and communicating with one another.

“Officers, how can I help you?” Law asks as he moves close to the patient, his heart beating in his ears.

“Ah, doctor. We’re suspecting there was more to the crash than it seems.”

Law’s brows furrow. “Foul play?”

“Based on what our other officers at the scene said, it looks like the brakes were cut instead of simply worn out. It was a clean cut, and the brake discs were almost brand new. If anything seems weird at all, let us know without hesitation.”

Nodding, Law turns to the patient. “Alright, I’ll let you know—” Law’s eyes go wide as he looks down at the man lying on the stretcher.

“His stats are-doctor are you okay?”

“I-uh yes, sorry. I got distracted by something else. Tell me his stats again and what you’ve done so far.”

~~~

Looking at your phone, you sigh. Law got caught up in a surgery and couldn’t pick you up. Janet had already left, and Killer had left when he got a call. He didn’t say what it was about, but the look on his mostly covered face told you it was important and urgent. With both of them leaving, you and your manager were the only ones left at the cafe. You were supposed to leave at 5pm, but Law couldn’t make it. You didn’t want to interrupt Killer with whatever emergency he had and were too awkward to call Eustass.

You could always get a taxi, but getting into a car with a stranger sounded like hell with what was going on in your personal life. So you just sat at a booth by a window inside the cafe and huffed. You wanted to go to the police station to report your number being uploaded to a site without your permission, but it was getting dark, and the station was a 20-minute walk.

“Do you want me to call you a taxi? I know a really trustworthy one. He’s my brother, and he does it on the side for extra cash.” Your manager's voice clears the fog from your head and brings you back to the annoying present.

“Oh, no thanks, but thank you anyway, Reiju. I have nothing against you or your many brothers.”

“None taken. I can just see how much you wanna get outta here. Are you going home, or are you going to the hospital to see your lover boy?”

Your face flares hot as your eyes widen. “Shh! Reiju, someone could hear!”

“Oh, please, the cafe is empty, and it’s been empty since 4 p.m., and it’s 5:30. Everyone and their mom can see it. Even the regulars ask me if ‘that barista and tattooed man are together yet?’ almost on a daily basis. Your little love story is great for business, I must say.” Reiju chuckles at your horrified face.

“Reiju, I beg you, please tell me your lying…” Embarrassment fills your soul, and you wish you could disappear at that moment.

“I'm happy to say I'm not. And trust me, everyone thinks it’s so cute!” Smiling, Reiju gives you a hug before pulling out her keys. “Here, as a way to ease your embarrassment, I’ll give you a ride to your house. You still live with the doctor, right?”

Sighing, you run your fingers through your hair. “I mean, yeah, but that's not where I was planning on going. I just need to talk to the police about my situation again.”

“Is there a new development about who busted up your car?”

“I wish but no. Instead, I just got calls about my ‘services.’ From what I gathered between men yelling at me, I was able to pull that someone put my name and number on a random website and say I was willing to have sex for money. I never give my money out to anyone, so how can this happen? No one I know would do something so gross as to try and pimp me out. I’ve literally been getting calls all day by random numbers.”

Reiju gives you a sympathetic look. “Wow. This is…” She goes quiet for a moment before speaking. “Here, I’m giving you a ride. Put your jacket on, and I’ll be right back.”

You watch her run to the break room before returning with jacket and keys in hand.

“Wait, Reiju, who will watch the cafe?”

“It’s closed. Now put on your jacket and watch out for your hand. The burn still hasn’t healed all the way yet.”

“Reiju, I don’t want you to get fired, please. It’s okay-”

“No, it’s not okay. I won’t have one of my employees going through this while I'm on the clock. Not to mention, they won’t fire. Can’t fire their last manager.” She smirks at the end as she turns off the lights. Encasing the cafe in pitch black. Locking the doors, she starts her car and walks you to her vehicle. “Plus, I can just call my dad, and he’ll threaten them with legal action if they fire me. They’d do anything to keep some of their secrets under wraps.”

“Do you always use your dad to get out of being fired?”

“That's the only thing he’s good for, really.” You can’t help but laugh as she shrugs her shoulders and enters the vehicle. After hearing the start of the engine, you follow after her and jump into the passenger seat. 

“Alright, on the road we go.” Reiju pulls out of the parking lot and onto the main road.

~~~

As you walked into the police station, you were greeted by the same cop who came to your aid when your vehicle was first destroyed. You were glad that you had someone familiar to share the new developments with.

“Miss (Y/N), I didn’t think I’d see you tonight. What brings you down to the station this late?” The officer walks you to his desk, motioning you to have a chair.

“Well, I think my stalker has put my number on some sort of site for sex. I don’t know if they did it just today or if it’s been up and just now seen. I’ve been getting calls all day about men asking for sex and to see what my ‘services prices’ are.”

The cop's face drops from welcoming to disgusted. “Oh god. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how you must feel. Do you have any idea who knows how to do something of this sort?” Pulling up his computer, he tries to search whatever corners of the internet to find the ‘ad.’

“Who all could have your number?”

“Well, I don’t give my number to many people.”

“Do you think it could be some sort of prank?” shaking your head, you dig out your phone to show him the small list of contacts you have.

“I can’t. No one I keep in contact with would do something so…gross. My contact list contains only ten people. Co-workers, my roommate, a friend or two, and regrettably an ex.” The cops hum at the last revelation.

“An ex huh? Are you sure they wouldn’t be the one to put it up? As revenge for the breakup or to be petty?”

“No way. Eustass may be an asshole, but he’d never do something like that.” yet even as you spoke, a spot inside you grew a seed of doubt. Eustass has always been very petty, but he’d never give out your number like this. Then again, you thought he’d never cheat, and now look where it got you.

The cop stops typing before looking at you for a moment. “Eustass? Can you tell me his last name?”

“Yeah, it’s Eustass Kidd. He works at Punk Victoria’s Mechanics?” You watch as the cop's face drops and the gears turn in his head.

“Fire red hair, red nails, and lipstick?”

“Yep.” The sound of your confirmation only seems to trouble him further as you watch him drag his hand over his mouth and look at his computer.

“Well, that makes this much more complicated.”

Furrowing your brows, a sense of unease settles in your gut. “What? Why?” Watching the cop type something on his computer and ignore you makes you dig your nails into your palms. “Why does that make this complicated?”

Turning to you, the cop sighs. “Well, since you are on his emergency contact list and I see that the cop who was supposed to inform you hasn’t, I will be the one to tell you.”

“Tell me what?” The unease in your stomach only bubbles at the look on his face.

“This afternoon, there was an accident on Sterling Road. A motorist ran a red light and was T-boned by a car. The breaks stopped working, which made him unable to stop.”

“And by him…you mean?”

“Eustass. His motorcycle was destroyed in the process. He’s currently in the hospital.” Your hands fly to your mouth as you feel shock rush through your body. A wave of different emotions wash over you. The deep, dark parts of you, the part that still holds anger and rage, is happy karma got him. That he would feel how he felt when he fucked your ex-best friend. Yet another part, the side that aches from the memories of your time together, is horrified and worried. Is he okay? What’s his condition?

His motorcycle was also destroyed. You knew how much it meant to him. After spending so much money and time repairing it, he finally managed to fix it up, only for his breaks to stop working? There was no way Eustass would look over something as important as that.

“There were signs of foul play when we inspected the scene. It seemed his breaks had been cut. There was a clean slice in the middle of the line that couldn’t have been caused by anything other than them being tampered with.” The cop pulled out a piece of paper. “Is there anyone you can think of that would want to hurt Eustass?”

“I hadn’t talked to him in the past 5-6 months before last week. His life during that time is a complete mystery to me. I don’t know if he made any enemies since then. But I can’t think of anyone who’d want to hurt him like that.”

“I see.” The cop looks at his computer before typing something. “I’m seeing a restraining order against a woman called (.....) (..........). Do you know anyone by that name?”

Your blood runs cold upon hearing the name. You never thought you’d hear her name and ‘restraining order’ in the same sentence. Of course, you’ve come to realize she’s a horrible person after fucking Eustass, but hearing that even afterward, she wouldn’t leave him alone furled the growing hate in your heart.

“Yes. She’s my ex-best friend. She slept with Eustass when me and him were still dating and I caught them together. I haven’t talked to her since.”

“Hmm. I see. Has she made an effort to reach out and contact you?”

“No. I have her blocked on everything.”

“But she still has your number, correct?”

“I mean, yeah, but-”

“Alright. Well, I’m glad you came in. It’s helped both your and Eustass’s cases.”

“It has?”

Nodding, the cop begins to pull out some files and other such things. “I hate to cut this short, but I need to write these things down and consult with my co-workers. Feel free to contact me when anything else pops up.” The cop gives you a stick note with his name and work number before sending you on your way.

You couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed. There was obviously something he wasn’t telling you. While you know you should just be grateful that they were taking your situation seriously, the fact they're hiding things from you causes an itch you just can’t scratch.

Walking out of the cops' office, you see Reiju waiting for you. “Thanks for waiting, Reiju. You didn’t have to, but I appreciate it.”

Sitting up from her seat, she smiles at you. “No problem. I wasn’t just going to let you walk home in the cold at night. Now, let's get you home. The car might be cold, sorry.”

“It’s better than walking.” You chuckle.

~~~

As you sit in the car, you stare out the window, a somber look on your face. The events of the day drained your energy.

“If you don’t mind me asking, did something else happen in the cops' office? You look more upset than when you went in.” Reiju’s worried voice breaks through your thoughts. You argue whether or not to tell her. Should you tell her you're concerned about Eustass? That you learned that your ex-best friend, who you thought you knew, turned out to be a freak who stalks your ex after sleeping with them? Maybe there could be some advice she could give you on how to feel?

“Hey, so remember how I told you about not being friends with (.....) anymore?”

“Oh yeah. Good riddance. I always knew there was something about her.”

You turn your head to her, confused. “What? What makes you say that?”

“There was always an aura to her. God, how do I describe it? I guess to me and some other people at the cafe thought you could do better than her.”

“I could do better? What do you mean?”

“Well, she wasn’t the best person. It’s not your fault for not seeing it. But there were multiple instances where she just treated you super shitty, but it just flew over your head.”

Hearing that all your co-workers hated (.....) was weird. While you understood if it was after the incident, knowing it was before it all went down made you question. Did you really not see the signs? Were there actual warning signs about her doing this?

“One incident I can think of is when you were telling me a story about how she’d taken the boy you liked to prom—twice, junior and senior year.”

A burn of embarrassment hits your face as you remember that as well. When you look back on it, you feel stupid. But simultaneously, you just wanted (.....) to be happy. You remember how she had always put herself down in high school, always saying that the people she liked never liked her back. And when you asked, she said the exact person you liked. Each time, you felt terrible, so despite wanting to be the one going with your crushes, you let her go instead. Wanting her to be happy.

“Oh…Yeah, I remember that.”

“Isn’t it weird how everyone you ever liked she magically liked too?”

“I just thought we had the same taste in men.”

“Same taste isn’t the same as stealing everyone you’ve ever liked.” Keeping her eyes on the road, Reiju continues. “Tell me honestly (Y/N), can you name one time (.....) actually did something for you? Has she ever done anything to sacrifice things like you did? Did she ever say thank you even?”

You desperately tried to come up with an incident, trying to prove you weren’t as ignorant of (.....)’s actions as it seemed, but nothing came up.

“Didn’t she always rely on you to get her homework done? She’d never done anything and always copied off you. You told me she probably wouldn’t have passed high school if it weren’t for you.”

“She told me about her parents and how hard it was to contrate when they fought all the time. Her dad hated how she went to school when she ‘should’ve been at home like a real woman.’ and that her brothers would steal and rip up her homework.”

“Have you ever met her parents? Or family?” Reiju’s question actually brought up a revelation for you. You actually couldn’t recall a time you ever met her family. Growing up, you never had the desire to. But after learning and feeling like you’ve never even known (.....), you had more questions.

“I remember her coming to school wearing long-sleeved shirts and jeans. She told me it was to hide the bruises from her dad when he got mad. They only ever lasted a few days since she heals quickly.”

“Yeah, no. Bruises take more than three days to heal. It is more like two weeks at best. Depending on how bad the bruise is.”

“I don’t understand. Why would she lie about something like that? What would there be to gain? Why would she lie about something she knew meant something to me?”

“Do you wanna know what I think? Now, this may sound cruel and harsh, but whatever. I think she was lying to you (Y/N) about everything. From my point of view, it seems like she always wanted to have a one-up on you. Wanted you to fail and be there to her beck and call.”

“I…” You were speechless. Never have you thought (.....) might be lying. She wanted to be better than you or see you fail. Sure, there were instances, but there's no way everything about your friendship was a lie. It couldn’t be.

You’ve told her things you’ve told no one else—not Eustass, not Law, not anyone except her. The things you told her you were sure would never be heard by anyone else but her. What if she told others what you told her in confidant?

“Remember when you told me how the boy you liked in college ended up dating your friend after he mysteriously never told you before that she liked him?” At the realization, it felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on your head. But at the same time, you never told (.....) that it was Law that you liked, so how would she have known?

“I never told her his name, though. How would she have known it was him if I never said his name?”

“You said she went to the same college as you, yeah? And I’m guessing you told her his anime at first, not thinking you’d fall for him, or she could have snooped in your phone when you’d left it open. Wouldn’t put it above her if even Eustass got a restraining order on her.”

“DO you think she’d actually go through such lengths to prevent me from being happy?”

“I think theirs a lot of shit she’d done that you’ve blocked out over the years. I think the (.....) you know is a shame. A huge lie.”

“But why? Why would she do something like this? Spend years of her life just to try and make me unhappy?”

“Don’t know. Wish I had the answers for you, but I don’t.” Reiju’s words bounced around in your head like a ball.  Distracting you from the world around you. Pulling you from reality to search your memory of the past of all the times she’s done you wrong.

~~~

“Hey, we’re at your apartment. Doesn’t look like Law’s here.” Pulled from your flashbacks, you're met with the sight of a dark rainy night and your apartment building in front of you.

“Oh, we are. Well, thank you, Reiju. I really owe you one.”

“It’s no problem really. Go take care of yourself, okay? Take a relaxing bath, eat some ice cream, and get some good sleep. Good night (Y/N), and stay safe.”

“Goodnight, Reiju. Thank you again.” You leave her car and wave goodbye. The rain hits your body repeatedly, making you rush to the safety of your apartment.

As you walk up the stairs to the 2nd floor, only one thing runs through your mind despite it being so close to home. So close to the place where you felt at least a shred of safety.

Did you really know (.....) or were you too blind to see (.....) true intentions?

~~~

Also I KNOW Reiju is actually pink but reader was pink first so-

Here is a promotion poster for one of the drinks at the cafe reader works at:

taglist:

@yuki190 @stachelrose @loraleiii @axcel-lucci @st4rfevrr @rexspersonalhell @nanapurinpurin @elen-alambil @starlightkitten19 @bby-deerling @queenofthekill @chaes-tea @emmaiscool22 @shuujin @augustanna @likeliterallywtf @iraaiitz @cherrybomb5000 @lavenderkaye106 @jabean @wrennyx @jamaicaa-blakee @ashortdork @kat2tired @nerdgeekandeverysweet-blog @getsue @kaptain-rebekah @reigenmagnet @rebeccawinters @keenzinemugstudent @mydearlybeloathed @firefistussy @throne-inmyside @littleleelee @thepurpleempath @yuji4lierrr @whodissbitj @slut-for-buck @ihatespidersdie @bluebunny002 @gabi-moureira @blairbellerose @luciledreamz @mrstraffy @yukiyury @lunalovesthe-moon @kenqki @100520s

[jellybracelet]

Every sighting of Sam's jelly bracelet - 1x01 Pilot

jelly bracelet series

[fingertipsmp3]

Guess who fucked up her knee again??? And AT WORK no less

[jainitor]

✹KANG HAERIN X 6THMEMBER!READER✹

Moments<3

PHONING LIVE 29/05/24

"But sometimes—" Haerin began, answering the fan's question, her soft voice flowing smoothly until—

Hiccup

The sound, sharp and delicate, cut through her words unexpectedly, and your gaze instantly locked with hers, both of you wide-eyed in surprise. A smile broke free before you could even think to suppress it.

Hiccup

There it was again, and this time, you couldnt hold back. A laugh burst out of you, soft at first, but quickly growing as the sound of her second hiccup echoed between you.

she giggled, cheeks slightly tinted pink, trying her best to finish her thought. "Sometimes, I—"But the next hiccup hit her right in the middle of her sentence, this one louder, and it was too much. You lost it, laughter pouring out of you uncontrollably as you doubled over, your body shaking with the effort to breathe.

Haerins shy, flustered expression only added to the humor. Despite her best efforts to pout, her eyes sparkled with amusement. "Its not that funny," she said, a playful glint in her eyes as she looked down in embarrassment, her lips curling into an irresistible smile.

"I'm sorry-" you managed between gasps, barely able to keep still as the giggles took over. You reached out, hitting her shoulder lightly in a playful gesture. But as your hand touched her, another hiccup escaped, as if perfectly on cue, trolling her once again.

Haerin let out a mock "ow," her voice so soft and light it only made you laugh harder. "is it really that funny?" she asked, her voice trembling with suppressed laughter, her own eyes squeezing shut in her attempt to regain composure. She tried, really tried, to put on a serious face, but it was impossible. Her hiccups came in quick succession now, and every one of them was like a tiny bell, ringing out her inability to keep her cool.

As if driven by her embarrassment, she made a feeble attempt to pinch you, her hands lightly brushing your sides, but the effort only caused another bout of hiccups to strike, leaving her even more helpless.

You tried to speak, but every time you opened your mouth, laughter came spilling out instead. “Sh-She keeps getting interrup—”" your words trailed off as you suddenly felt it, a small hiccup of your own interrupting your speech, catching you off guard.

Haerin whips her head toward you, pointing with her index finger, a triumphant, mischievous grin spreading across her face. Before either of you can hold it in, the laughter erupts again

PHONING LIVE 24/07/22

You leaned against Haerin’s shoulder, letting out a quiet sigh. You were sure you had gotten enough sleep, but for some reason, fatigue had caught up.

“Let’s watch it together now everyone!” Minji clapped her hands, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she moved toward the camera, ready to play a special video for their 2nd-anniversary live.

"Camera adjustment time," she added with a grin, shifting it slightly to the right to frame the white wall where the projection would play. The room darkened as Hanni checked in with the bunnies, "Can you guys see the screen okay?"

The video started playing, showing clips of all of you from before your debut, practicing tirelessly. You settled down on the couch, feeling a sense of calm wash over you. Without thinking, you lay your head on Haerin’s lap.

Your heart fluttered ever so slightly as Haerin gently ran her fingers through your hair, her touch light and delicate. Her fingertips grazed your cheek and jaw, sending tiny sparks of warmth through you. It was too comfortable. Before you knew it, your eyelids became heavy, and you drifted off to sleep, lulled by the quiet hum of the video and the soothing presence of Haerin.

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

“Is it over?” Dani asked as the lights flickered back on, confirming the end of the video. Everyone clapped in applause, but Haerin, noticing you still asleep, quickly covered your ears with her palm to muffle the noise

“Y/N unnie fell asleep,” she whispered, looking at the others. You’d always playfully scolded her for calling you ‘unnie,’ especially since you were only two months older, but she never stopped. And though you protested, you secretly found it endearing.

Dani, catching sight of the scene, couldn’t help but coo. “Aww!” she pulled out her phone, leaning back slightly to snap a picture of you resting on Haerin's lap.

“Y/N-ahhh,” Hanni called out softly, her voice gentle as she tried to wake you. As much as she hated to pull you from your peaceful slumber, she knew you wouldn’t want to miss the rest of the event.

You stirred a little, your eyes fluttering open, still groggy as your brain tried to catch up. Realizing you had fallen asleep, you shot up from Haerin’s lap, blinking in confusion. “What happened?” you asked, your voice a little raspy with sleep, as the room filled with soft laughter.

“What’s so funny?” You tilted your head confused.

A/n- I was supposed to write 3 but I couldn't think of anything else lmao

[doctorbunny]

MILGRAM Hallucination Booklet Translation pt.1 (Yamanaka and DECO*27 Interview)

Context: This interview was from a booklet handed out at the MILGRAM Hallucination live show on the 21st January 2024 (if you want a copy you can buy it here) This translation was made possible by the generosity of @maxpawb sharing images of his booklet with me This translation is mostly my own, but @maristelina helped me with some sections. Now without further ado:

Q.01 Introduce Yourself. I'm Takuya Yamanaka. I'm the creator/planner/screenwriter for MILGRAM. I'm DECO*27. I work as the music producer for MILGRAM. I like Hatsune Miku.

Q.02 What reactions from the guards have been the most surprising so far? Yamanaka: There are a lot of guards that were born overseas, aren't there? Even though it's created with rather Japanese sensibilities, overseas audiences didn't seem to mind at all. Though the countries and sensibilities are different than what I anticipated, votes have become more multifaceted, it's very interesting, isn't it? DECO: To forgive or not forgive the prisoners what do you do, whether it goes as you expected or the result turns out to be quite the opposite, its fascinating. Maybe your nationality affects the kind of criteria you use to make judgements? I've been thinking about something like that.

Q.03 Is there anything you didn't imagine would happen at the start of the trial? Yamanaka: I didn't write it with a large overseas audience in mind, because from the start I wasn't worrying about popularity at all, I simply didn't think I'd be watching over so many guards. Milgram was developed as a more underground project, but it's popularity is a good surprise, isn't it. DECO: There were more people who got into MILGRAM without already caring about my music than I imagined, it was surprising. I feel like MILGRAM has spread further beyond than what I thought it would. I'm very grateful!

Q.04 So far, what's made you the happiest? Yamanaka: Everything. As a creator it brings me great joy to see a work that existed in my mind, take shape and be enjoyed by so many people. Other than that, because I also love the characters I've birthed, seeing all the guards talking about them and sharing their thoughts, both positive and negative, has to be the best feeling. DECO: It makes me happy to see lots of people analysing the meanings I put in my songs! The theories get pretty close to the truth too, I think... the power of all the guards is really cool.

Q.05 So far, what has been the most challenging? Yamanaka: Because I have to change the script in accordance with the audience's decisions, I can't create the entire story in advance. Furthermore, as of the second trial, there aren't only individual character storylines, the prisoner's verdicts begin to emerge and they influence each other. That is to say, I can't start writing until after everyone's results are out. Willingly subjecting myself to doing something this unreasonable, is what I feel is difficult for me. But because DECO*27 is also going through the same hell, we're holding on to some semblance of sanity. DECO: The story changes in accordance to all the guards' choices, and the music has to be written to match. I think this is harder for Yamanaka-P, who writes the script, than it is for me... But though its tough, I feel its really worthwhile, It makes me really happy to be able to communicate with everyone through my songs!

Q.06 Do you have any regrets like "I wish I had done it differently back then!"? Yamanaka: I've thought it over quite carefully, but there's nothing in particular. I think everyone involved in the project is giving it their all and its a really passionate environment. DECO: Nope! I've been able to put all the things I've thought of into my songs.

Q.07 Which prisoners are the easiest to write dialogue/music for? Yamanaka: If I had to pick one, it'd be Fuuta. He's the type of person that's pretty easy to write because his brain never shuts up. Other than him, Yuno and Shidou are relatively academic kids in theory, so they're easy to write because they're very clear when it comes to what they want to convey. [TL note just because its funny, the idiom Yamanaka uses is lit. "There is barking in the inside [of Fuuta's] head] DECO: It went smoothly for all of them!

Q.08 Which prisoners are the most fun to write dialogue/music for? Yamanaka: Muu's lines were the very fun to write~. I'm fascinated by her approach to life and can't help but envy how fun it must be to behave like that. Yuno and Amane are my runners up. I enjoy writing the kinds of characters who plainly state their ideas and speak eloquently. DECO: Mahiru! From the start writing about the relationships between men and women has been what you might call my forte, its enjoyable to make. I feel like this is also why I find Yuno easy to write for.

Q.09 Which prisoners are the hardest to write dialogue/music for? Yamanaka: Overwhelmingly, Haruka's dialogue takes me the longest to write. I have to use the parts of my brain that I wouldn't normally use to figure out how to not just directly convey what he wants to say. DECO: None of them!

Q.10 What's your favourite combination of characters? Yamanaka: Amane and Shidou. They're on completely different wavelengths about everything, and the best part is that there's no getting around it. My second pick might go to Yuno and Muu. They don't get along at all so their fights are never just superficial squabbling. DECO: I always like the interactions between Es and the prisoners. I'm liking how over the course of the voice drama interrogations, Es seems to be gradually coming to understand the prisoner's humanity. Especially Es + Mahiru!

Q.11 Do you want to be friends with any of the prisoners? Yamanaka: Shidou and Kazui. I like the idea of being friends with professional people. I think that people who choose to go into something specialized, its clear they have a kind of resolve and that's charming, isn't it? DECO: Yuno! I feel like she'd be easy to talk to. She seems like she's used to friends who maintain a good distance from each other. [note: while 'good' here can mean a fair amount of distance, in Japanese relationships the concept of boundaries is also built into the idea of distance, so in English you might talk about someone who is a close friend but still has good boundaries, but in Japanese this is someone who has the 'right amount'/ちょうどいい of distance from you, so this could mean Yuno doesn't have any close friends or that Yuno is just a good friend because she isn't going to turn up to your house unexpectedly and eat all the food in your fridge]

Q.12 Do you want to date any of the prisoners? Yamanaka: I love all of my characters a lot, but, well... how should I say it... I don't think I would date any of them. [TL note: I had to shift the wording to be more natural in English but the Japanese Q is more like 'which prisoner would you want to be your boy/girlfriend?' curse english for not having an exact equivalent to koibito, so Yamanaka's answer is more like 'I think would break up with all of them' its a nominal difference but my friend said to mention it bc its funny] DECO: I'm sorry.

Q.13 What's your favourite line/phrase? Yamanaka:

[Scene from Muu's first voice drama Crying B, TL taken from MILGRAMMER]

Es: Judging from your facial features, are you what they call “half-Japanese”? [lit. haafu/Half] Muu: Yeah… I’m biracial. [lit. daburu/Double]

It would have to be that wouldn't it? I got goosebumps when I wrote it it. DECO:

"It's not my fault"

I think that single phrase was able to represent Muu's character really well, if I do say so myself.

Q.14 Are there any prisoners that you think its good they're in MILGRAM? Yamanaka: All of them. Without these 10 people, this Milgram would be a complete failure. DECO: Without these 10 people, MILGRAM wouldn't exist!

Q.15 Is there anything the guards aren't aware of yet? Yamanaka: Of course, there may be some minor details, but I don't think there are any major points missing. The mysteries have already disseminated, I feel the full picture will be clearly revealed if the theories and wild speculations, which have been shared around the world, come together. As expected. DECO: There are! I hope you look forward to the gimmicks I wanted to put in my songs that will come out in the third trial!

Q.16 Is there anything you haven't been able to do up to now, but you want to try doing after this? Yamanaka: I want to do a stageplay. Every performance would be a different story set in Milgram. If anyone reading this is involved with stage productions, please contact me. [I can't find it now but I swear a while ago Yamanaka tweeted something similar like "I'm interested in doing stage adaptations of Caligula Effect or MILGRAM, if anyone is involved with stage production please contact me" I hope he does it, a MILGRAM stage play would be awesome] DECO: Fortunately, I'm already doing everything I want to do! Writing the trial 3 songs couldn't be more fun.

Q.17 Represent "MILGRAM" in one word. Yamanaka: 『人』 "People" DECO: 『噓』 "Lies" [This one is both simple and interesting so as a preview I'll share how akka and DMYM answered] akka: 『幻』 "Illusions" DMYM: 『信』 "Faith"

Q.18 Give a brief comment about the future of "MILGRAM". Yamanaka: There have already been plot developments that I personally wish I didn't have to write. The guards have all chosen a very intense path. It's frightening. I've also been ready to obey these choices since the start of MILGRAM, so I think we all should enjoy this story that can only be told once together. DECO: I've already started writing the prisoner's songs. It's hell. Please prepare yourselves. Q.19 A message for the guards. Yamanaka: Thank you for always looking after the prisoners. Milgram is a work that involves the participation of everyone, including yourself. The thoughts you had, the actions you took, the joy, and resentment you felt towards this prison, all this became a part of Milgram too. I would like you all to please live healthily in your realities alongside Milgram. DECO: Thank you for your hard work as guards. Although MILGRAM is full of troublemakers, we would be grateful if you could continue to watch over us for a long time to come. We will do our best to meet your expectations.

[A link to part 2 will be posted here when its ready]

(Japanese transcript under the cut)

Q.01 自己紹介を。 山中拓也です。 ミルグラムでは企画・原作・脚本をしています。 DECO*27です。 MILGRAMのサウンドプロデューサーを務めています。 初音ミクが好きです。

Q.02 これまでの看守たちからの反応で驚いたことは？ Yamanaka: 海外にもたくさんの看守が生まれるていったことですね。とっても日本的な感性で創っているので、海外ウケとかきにしていませんでした。やはり国が違うと感性も違うものだと思うので、より多面的な投票がされて、とても面白いですね。 DECO: 囚人が赦すor 赦さないのどっちになるか、と自分で予想していたりもしたのですが、結構それが逆の結果になっていることがあって興味深ったです。もしかして国民性で判断基準が違ってくるのかな？とか考えたりしました。

Q.03 審判開始時点では思い描いていなかったことはあるか？ Yamanaka: 海外ウケ気にしたことないと書きましたが、そもそもウケ自体あまり気にしていなかったので、シンプルにこんなにたくさんの看守の方に見守っていただけるコンテンツになるとは思っていませんでした。もっと、アンダーグラウンドで展開するつもりだったんですが、嬉しい悲鳴ですね。 DECO: 想像以上にDECO*27を知らない方にもMILGRAMを観てもらえたことに驚きました。自分の思っていた以上にMILGRAMが広がったなと感じています。ありがとうございます！

Q.04 これまでで一番嬉しかったことは？ Yamanaka: 全部です。自分の脳内にしかなかった作品が、形になり、たくさんの人に楽しんでもらえること自体がクリエイターとしては大きな喜ぶです。あとはやはり僕��自分が産んだ登場人物のことが大好きなので、プラスでもマイナスでも看守の皆様が彼らについて語って、想いをぶつけてくれいることが最高に嬉しいです。 DECO: たくさんの方に自分が音楽に込めた意味考察してもらえた嬉しいです！かなり正解に近い考察もあって、看守の皆さんのパワーすごいな…と思っています。

Q.05 これまでで一番大変だったことは？ Yamanaka: ユーザーの選択によって、シナリオを変更をするので、あらかじめ制作することができないということです。しかも二審からは個人のストーリーラインだけでなく、他の囚人の結果による影響も出てくる。ということは全員の結果出てからじゃないと制作できないということです。そんな無茶を勝手に自分でやりはじめて、勝手に自分で大変な思いをしています。同じ地獄をDECO27も味わっているので、なんとか正気を保っています。 DECO: 看守の皆さんの選択に応じてストーリー変化し、それに合うように音楽を書くことです。これは僕よりもシナリオを書く山中Pのほうが大変だろうな…と思いますが…大変ではありますがとてもやりがいをかんじていますし、曲を通じて皆さんとコミュニケーションが取れていることが嬉しいです！

Q.06　「今思えばやっておけばよかった！」のような後悔はあるか？ Yamanaka: よくよく考えてみたんですが、特に無いです。制作に関わる全員がベストを尽くしてくれているとてもアツい現場だと思います。 DECO: ないです！思いついたことはすべて楽曲で出力できています。

Q.07 シナリオや音楽の制作がスムーズな囚人は？ Yamanaka: 一人あげるとすればフータでしょうか。頭の中でわんわん言ってるので、かなり書きやすいタイプです。あとはユノや、シドウあたりの比較的理論的で偏差値高めな子たちは何が伝えたいかが明確なので書きやすいです。 DECO: みんなすんなりでした！

Q.08 シナリオや音楽の制作が一番楽しい囚人は？ Yamanaka: セリフを書いていて一番楽しいのはムウですかねぇ~。こんなふうにふるまえたち人生楽しいだろうという憧れすあります。次点でユノやアマネでしょうか。思想がはっきりしてて、弁の立つタイプは書くのが楽しいです。 DECO: マヒルです！自分が元々男女間の関係性を描くのが得意ということもあって、楽しく制作しています。そういった意味ではユノも書きやすいなと感じます。

Q.09 シナリオや音楽の制作に苦労する囚人は？ Yamanaka: 圧倒的にセリフを書くのに時間がかかるのはハルカです。彼が伝えたいことを、伝わらないようにする調整に普段は使わない脳を使います。 DECO: いないです！

Q.10 お気に入りの組み合わせはあるか？ Yamanaka: アマネとシドウ。すべての要素が噛み合わなさすぎて、どうしようもないところが良いです。次点でユノとムウかもです。表面的なケンカにならないだけでかなり気が合わないので。 DECO: ���ス対囚人の絡みは須く好きです。ボイスドラマの尋問によって段々とエスが囚人の人間性を掴んでいく様が気に入っています。特にエス＋マヒル！

Q.11 囚人を友達にするなら誰か？ Yamanaka: シドウとカズイ。友達にいてほしい職業の人たちです。なにかのスペシャリストを選択する人たちというのは、何かしらの覚悟が決まっている人だと思うのでそれだけで魅力的ですね。 DECO: ユノです！話していて気楽そうだなと感じます。お互い良い距離感を保てる友達になれそう。

Q.12 囚人を恋人にするなら誰か？ Yamanaka: 僕は登場人物のことを全員最高に愛してますが、まぁ、なんというか、全員やめとこうと思います。 DECO: ごめんなさい。

Q.13 お気に入りのセルフやフレーズは？ Yamanaka: 「その顔立ち、ハーフというやつか？」「うん...…ダブル」ですね。書いてて鳥肌でした。 DECO: 「悪くないもん」 1フレーズでムウのキャラクターを上手に表現できたなと我ながら思っています。

Q.14 ミルグラムにいてくれてよかった、と思う囚人は？ Yamanaka: 全員です。この10人でなければ、このミルグラムになっていないので。 DECO: MILGRAMはこの10人がいなければ成立しません！

Q.15 看守たちにまだ感づかれていないことはあるか？ Yamanaka: もちろん、些末な部分はあるかと思いますが、大きいところだとないんじゃないですかねぇ。既に問題はバラまいたし、世界中に発信された考察や妄想を組み合わせたらきっちり全貌が明らかになる気がします。さすがです。 DECO: あります！第三審で僕が楽曲を通じてやりたかったギミックが出てくるので楽しみにしていてください！

Q.16 今できていないが、今後やってみたいことはあるか？ Yamanaka: 舞台がやりたいです。毎公演、コンセプトの異なるミルグラムで行われる舞台。舞台制作に関わる方が、読んでおられましたら是非山中まで。 DECO: 有り難いことに、やりたいことは全部やれています！第三審の曲を書くのが楽しくてしょうがないです。

Q.17 「ミルグラム」を一文字で表せ。 Yamanaka: 『人』 DECO: 『噓』

Q.18 今後の「ミルグラム」について一言。 Yamanaka: 既に僕が個人的には書かないでいたかった展開が確定しています。看守の皆さんなかなか強烈な道筋を選びました。恐ろしい。自分もその選択に従う覚悟をしてミルグラムをスタートしているので、一度きりの物語を皆さんと一緒に楽しもうと思います。 DECO: 既に楽曲を書き始めている囚人もいます。地獄です。覚悟しててください。

Q.19 看守たちへメッセージを。 Yamanaka: いつも囚人たちのことを世話してくださってありがとうございます。ミルグラムとは、参加する皆さん自身を含めてミルグラムという作品です。この監獄に対して感じた思い、起こした行動、喜び、 憤り 、それらすべてが作品の一部になります。是非ミルグラムと共にある皆さんの現実を健やかに生きてくださいませ。 DECO: いつも看守としてのお勤めご苦労さまです。曲者ばかりのMILGRAMですが、これからも末永く見守っていただけると幸いです。期待に応えられるよう、尽力してまいります。

[transvampireboyfriend]

@steddie-week Day 1: Secret relationship

Rating: M Words: 2362

Modern AU

"I'm gonna get us some more popcorn" Steve says, slapping his hands against his thighs.

Eddie gives him side eye because it's only been ten minutes since the movie started and they're supposed to be discrete.

Steve silently shrugs at him, raising his eyebrows and pointedly looking at everyone in the room.

He's right, no one even reacted to Steve's statement. Jon and Argyle are absentmindedly playing with each other's hands, eyes locked on the screen; Chrissy and Robin are still whispering to each other; Jeff is still showing something to Freak and Nancy on his phone and Gareth is still dozing on and off next to Chrissy.

Okay then, Eddie thinks, and tries to communicate the same to Steve with a shrug of his own.

Steve smiles a small thing, and winks at him.

A blink and you'll miss it wink, but Eddie still has to bite the inside of his cheek to tame his answering smile and try to subdue the heat rising to his cheeks.

7:05 his watch reads when Steve leaves the room.

Five minutes should be fine right? For Eddie to follow without making their friends suspicious?

Eddie looks at the TV and tries to focus on the movie, but all he can see are colors.

He doesn't know what they're watching, was too distracted by the hair on Steve's arm when they discussed it.

The hair on Steve's arm, which Eddie only discovered yesterday, is so soft and fun to kiss.

And lick.

And mouth at.

Jesus, it's been a whole month since their first date, a little more than that since they first kissed and Eddie still acts like a lovesick fool.

7:06

Eddie starts bouncing his leg impatiently.

On second thought, popcorn takes like two minutes to be ready. And say it takes Steve an additional minute to put it into a bowl, then he'll be back in less than five!

Eddie's wasting precious time!

He stands abruptly and everyone does turn to look at him at that.

"Sorry," he smiles sheepishly, "need to use the bathroom. Be right back."

His friends turn back to the TV with hums and noncommittal grunts and Eddie at least has the sense to walk towards the hallway and not go through the kitchen's front door.

It's a redundant but necessary detour and in a few more seconds, he's opening the kitchen's side door.

Steve greets him by throwing his arms around his neck, "What took you so long?" he asks, leaning forward to bring their lips together.

Eddie hums against him and lets go of the door, letting it swing closed in favor of grabbing on to his boyfriend.

His arms circle Steve's waist and pull him closer as they kiss.

"Didn't wanna be too obvious" Eddie murmurs against Steve's lips, noticing there's no smell of popcorn or any sound from the microwave.

Steve hums, then grabs Eddie's face with both hands and soundly kisses him once, twice.

"I think I'm about ready to tell them," Steve comments when he pulls back, lowering his hands to Eddie's shoulders.

"Yeah?" Eddie asks, feeling his heart pick up its pace.

Steve liking him back is one thing, getting to be together like this another, but him telling everyone about it? Eddie hadn't even dared to dream that big in the year or so that he spent pining after the most beautiful boy he's ever met.

Steve nods, a smile growing on his face.

"Cool," Eddie comments, unable to hide the huge grin that's surely showing his dimples.

Steve giggles, that wonderful sound reserved only for Eddie, and nods again, "Mmhm" he agrees, leaning forward again, placing his mouth on his and tangling his fingers in his hair.

Eddie searches his tongue the way he knows Steve likes, steals his air and sucks on his lower lip when they need to part, enjoying the way Steve's body goes boneless, melts against his hold.

"God, I love your mouth," Eddie sighs, making Steve laugh softly against him,

"Are you staying over tonight?" Steve asks, pleasantly scratching the back of Eddie's skull,

"If you want me to, babydoll," Eddie offers, thoroughly enjoying the blush that the ridiculous petname elicits as Steve scoffs and looks away from him.

Eddie takes the opportunity to smack a kiss on his cheek, feeling Steve's smile get wider.

He turns back to Eddie and his smile fades a little, Eddie turns his head to the side, worry creeping up inside him.

"Please stay," Steve asks, with something serious in his eyes,

Eddie understands. Maybe more than Steve would expect him to. So he makes it his priority to reciprocate his boyfriend's seriousness and moves both his hands up to hold Steve's face,

"For as long as you'll have me, sweetheart," he promised, hoping Steve can hear his sincerity, can understand how much he means it when they look into each others' eyes.

Steve smiles with something like wonder and brings their lips together again.

Eddie moves one of his hands to the back of Steve's head, and grabs onto his hair there, circling the other around his waist again and walking them back until Steve softly bumps the kitchen counter.

Steve sits on top of the counter with practiced ease, using Eddie's shoulders to jump up and then opening his legs like he always does.

And like always, it drives Eddie insane.

He takes his place between Steve's legs, kissing him insistently, his hands moving from his waist to the top of his thighs, rubbing there as he goes to kiss his neck, when the door opens.

Eddie's heart stops.

In the span of a few seconds which seem infinite to him, Eddie freezes, looks up from Steve's neck to his face, finds him staring ahead with eyes as wide as plates and straightens up, letting go of Steve's thighs to turn around and find Gareth rummaging through the fridge.

An agonizingly long minute passes.

None of them say anything, Steve staying atop the counter and Eddie frozen in place, until Gareth straightens up with a can on his hand, and looks at them like he hadn't even realized they were there when he came in.

Eddie can only raise his eyebrows.

"Sorry, Jeff did want a coke after all," Gareth says, like it explains anything, "You know how he is," he comments,

Eddie stares.

"Did ...you want us to pause the movie?" Gareth asks.

Eddie blinks.

"Uh, no. That's okay," Steve answers,

"Alright." Gareth says slowly, "...Cool," he concludes, and then he exits the kitchen without another word.

Eddie frowns, a little mindblown, immediately turning back to Steve and finding a similar frown on his face.

"Did you-?" Steve asks,

"No!" Eddie cuts in, scandalized and a little panicked, "Of course not! We agreed we wouldn't tell anyone!"

Steve's frown dissipates to give way to a soft smile. He places his hand against Eddie's cheek. "I know," he affirms, "sorry."

Eddie rolls his eyes a little, letting Steve know no apology is necessary and he sighs, calmer now that he can see that Steve's not freaking out.

He leans into his boyfriend's hand more.

"Do you think Robin-?" he ventures,

"I don't think so," Steve answers softly, "Last I heard Chrissy doesn't even know yet. And that was last week" he comments, moving his hand to tuck Eddie's hair behind his ear, absentmindedly caressing the strands after.

"I don't think she would tell Chris without telling me," Steve assures him,

Chrissy does suspect. Eddie met her a little later than he met Steve but she's rapidly become his best friend and regularly refers to Steve and Eddie as 'a couple'.

Eddie used to blush hard at the comments, before they got together. And she never pushed, but it was the thing that got him to notice that his looks were returned, got him to understand that Steve doesn't actually treat anyone else the way he treats Eddie.

Now he just sort of scoffs when she mentions it, but he hasn't told her either. Wanted to let Steve set their pace.

"I mean he is known to be distracted" Eddie offers about Gareth,

Steve laughs silently, "There's no way he didn't notice me up on the counter and you between my legs, baby,"

Baby.

Eddie blushes. He can't get over the pet names, especially when Steve only uses them in private.

He returns his hands to rest on top of Steve's thighs and leans up to kiss him, trying to cool the heat in his cheeks.

It does not work.

Steve rubs their noses together when they pull apart, resting his hands on Eddie's shoulders, "You wanna tell 'em?" he asks,

"If you do," Eddie says, "but tell me if there's anything that should change" he requests,

One of Steve's hands holds his face again, his thumb softly moving back and forth on his cheek.

"Like what?" he asks, barely above a whisper,

"I don't know," Eddie answers, racking his brain for an example, "like, ...are you into PDA?" he asks in the same tone, not wanting to burst the bubble they created,

Steve strokes Eddie's hair again, turns his head and purses his lips, thinking,

"I'd like to hold your hand" he settles on.

He's gonna kill Eddie, one of these days, his heart will grow so big from how sweet Steve is, that it'll explode.

Eddie has to press his lips together so he doesn't smile ear to ear.

"That's not PDA, I don't think,"

"No?" Steve innocently asks, he knows what he's doing, the bastard. Eddie wants to melt.

"No, angel,"

"You want us to kiss with tongue in front of everyone?" Steve asks, in the same tone, but with a shit eating grin,

Eddie snorts loudly, has to lean his head on Steve's shoulder to suppress his laugh.

"No, I don't think I want that," he says, straightening up while his shoulders still shake with his laughter,

"Good," Steve says, looking smug, "Me neither,"

He places a kiss against Eddie's temple, gently scratches the back of Eddie's skull and asks, "What about you? Do you have anything?"

"Was thinking I like the things you call me in private," Eddie murmurs, emboldened by the tender touch,

Steve smiles softly, but wags his eyebrows.

Eddie laughs again, almost shy, "Shut up." he protests, "You don't even call me anything different in bed,"

Steve joins him, laughing softly, but then his eyes soften too.

"Hmm," he hums, leaning down to close the distance between them, "I can save the pet names just for you" he murmurs,

Eddie leans up the small fraction left to join their lips again, and Steve softly kisses back.

"Anything else?" Eddie asks as they pull back,

"Can I have shotgun privileges? And hold your hand while you drive?" Steve requests,

" 'Course you can" Eddie grins, sure that there are hearts in his eyes when he leans up to briefly kiss Steve's jaw,

"What else?" Eddie asks,

"Want your hands in my hair" Steve answers easily, in the syrupy tone he always gets when Eddie gets his mouth anywhere near his neck,

"Anytime," Eddie grants, softly biting where he just kissed,

"You?" Steve asks,

"Would you wear my clothes out of the house?" Eddie tries,

Steve smiles and kisses both his eyelids, making him chuckle a bit "I'd love that",

"Something more?" Steve gently probes,

"We can figure out the rest as we go?"

"Sounds like a plan."

---

"Eddie and I are together" Steve proudly announces to his friends after the movie's over and the pizza's gone.

He takes Eddie's hand in his and Eddie smiles at him so wide, his cheeks hurt.

Robin squeals. Eddie turns to look at her and sees Chrissy doing the same, with a confused frown on her face.

Eddie thinks that's weird, but when he looks at the rest of their friends he finds expectant looks on their faces. Like they didn't understand or something.

After a beat, Nancy asks, "What do you mean?"

"Uh. We're dating," Steve answers, a little nervous now. Eddie softly squeezes his hand.

"Yeah, you have been for like a year, right?" Chrissy answers this time, "Certainly since I met you guys,"

Eddie gawks at her, "What?"

"Robin, did you tell her?" Steve asks,

"I didn't!" she defends,

"Tell me what?" Chrissy asks, turning to her,

Eddie cannot believe his ears.

"Wait," Jeff says, "you weren't dating before?"

"Before what?" Jon asks,

"Before we met Chrissy?" Gareth tries,

Eddie's whipping his head back and forth between them as they speak,

"When did we meet her?" Argyle asks,

"Was it last year?" Freak adds on,

"Shush! " Nancy urges, pulling everyone's attention to her,

"How long have you two been dating?" she asks Steve and Eddie,

"A month?" Eddie says, his head spinning,

"And a half" Steve finishes,

Robin snorts and the group erupts into protests,

"No way."

"What?"

"Nu-uh,"

"What the-"

"Oh my god?? "

"There's no way!"

Eddie nods at them, "Yeah, how long did you all think we had been dating for?"

"Before we met Chrissy!" they answer almost in unison.

"What? Why?" Steve asks,

"Because you go on dates," Jeff answers,

"What!? " Eddie's beginning to sound like a broken record,

"Yeah, you guys go shopping, and to the record store" Argyle explains,

"And to dinner at each other's places" Freak finishes,

"I do that with all of you!" Eddie protests,

"Yeah, as a group," Gareth counters,

Steve turns to look at him and presses his lips together when Eddie looks back.

"Don't you dare," Eddie warns, already trying to swallow the laughter bubbling up his throat,

"Wait, so you thought you were always sitting next to each other by happenstance?" Chrissy asks,

"You save our seats together? " Steve asks her like it's the most heart warming thing he's ever heard,

Eddie lets go of Steve's hand in order to bury his face in his own, he can feel his blush against his palms.

"You know we could hear you making out in the kitchen right?" Nance asks,

Eddie groans loudly just as Robin bursts out laughing.

"You platonically watched a movie together on Valentine's?" Argyle asks skeptically, "At the theater?"

"Oh my god " Eddie complaints,

That's what topples Steve. His laughter filling Eddie's ears.

He has to come out of his hiding place to look at him, seeing Steve joyful is what he was put on this Earth to do, Eddie thinks.

"You platonically got him a sunflower bouquet for his birthday?" Jon piles on,

"He said he'd never gotten flowers before!" Eddie defends as everyone laughs,

Steve chuckles, rubbing Eddie's back soothingly,

"What was I supposed to do?" Eddie turns to him,

Steve smiles brightly and places a kiss on his shoulder.

Eddie smiles back, placing a hand on Steve's knee.

As embarrassed as he is, he's really glad everyone finally knows.

Sneaking around was fun, but nothing can compare to having Steve like this.

[mym1na]

୨ৎ SKATER GIRL ─ HANNI PHAM.

— 001. RAN OVER, half written.

#FLASHBACK!

11:40 AM | 📍some sidewalk idk man

Hanni, on a random Friday, continued her routine. She got ready, left her house, and then skated to Minji’s house to hang out with the older girl.

Hanni was too busy enjoying the music that was playing on her headphones, letting her music and skateboard guide her through the path she takes almost every day, not paying any attention to her surroundings. So imagine the surprise she had when, the moment she gained consciousness, she suddenly noticed a figure that emerged from nowhere.

“What the fuck—” A sudden, panicked voice yelled out. Hanni's eyes bulged at the figure, skidding to a halt and nearly falling off her board after hearing the other faint voice. Hanni removed her headphones before looking over the girl to make sure she didn’t hit her in any way. “I’m so sorry!” Hanni says with a panicky and awkward stare.

“Did you almost kill me by running me over with a skateboard?” Yn’s brows furrowed with disbelief that she had almost died in a skateboard accident. Absolutely embarrassing.

“Well, I didn’t mean to,” Hanni replied, awkwardly grabbing her skateboard from the ground and sliding it under her arms to keep it still.

“And also, I doubt you would’ve died from it, so—uh.”

Yn frowned at this. “You don’t know that.” She says this while looking down at her watch.

“Shit. I’m late. Thanks for almost running me over; you made me even more late, gosh.” Yn says while moving away from Hanni, speed-walking past Hanni without any glance.

Hanni just watched the girl walk away, staring at her until she slowly disappeared from the distance.

“I should’ve asked for her number,” Hanni muttered to herself before blinking herself out of the trance she was stuck in. She shook her head before continuing the path she was on, on foot instead, just to make sure she wouldn’t almost run any more pretty girls.

12:05 PM | 📍Minji’s place (🏳️‍🌈)

“So, let me get this straight—” Minji paused to take a bite of the ice cream she was eating. “You almost did a hit-and-run on a skateboard; she was slightly rude, but yet you still wanted her number?” Minji said, trying to understand the situation properly and finding the whole thing silly in the best way possible. “What? I like them a little mean.” Hanni says with a huff, leaning into the chair she was sitting in as Minji snorts at the response she was given.

“Until they get too mean.”

“That’s why I said a little mean.” Hanni said.

Hanni let out a depressive sigh. “You think I’m going to see her again?”

Minji shrugged, putting her ice cream down beside her and pulling out her phone. “I don’t know; probably, apparently, we all meet someone twice.”

“I hope I meet her again.”

“That girl probably told you to kill yourself, and you’re over here like, 'awhhh, I miss this girl'; you don’t even know her.” Minji made fun of the girl for being in a lover girl era with someone who seems to not give a fuck.

“Okay and?? Don’t be jealous that a pretty girl looked in my direction.” Hanni rolled her eyes with a huff.

Minji snorted once more, now scrolling on her phone, probably wandering around in the jungle called the internet. Minji’s brow furrowed in curiosity as she stared down at her phone. “Haerin replied to a tweet.”

“Okay…?” Hanni questioned why Minji was telling her this, as, you know, everyone replies to something.

“To a girl who is complaining about almost getting run over by a skateboard.” Minji finished her sentence, and not even two seconds later, Hanni was by her side, looking at the girl’s phone.

“What.” Was all Hanni said before grabbing Minji’s phone out of her hands, quicker than the flash.

“Hey!”

“Shhh.” Hanni moved her hand towards Minji’s mouth, covering it so the girl could keep quiet.

Hanni stared at Haerin's reply. Going to the girl’s account and straight to the following so she can find her “hit and run” girl.

“Is that stalking?” Minji muffled from Hanni’s hand. Hanni quickly took her hand off Minji’s mouth to give her a quick slap on the head before landing her hand right back on Minji's mouth. Earning herself a small “ow” from the girl.

“No.”

“I’m gonna text her.”

Minji quickly removed Hanni’s hand from her mouth, snatching her phone back. “Text her on your phone, not mine, you stupid gay.”

Hanni let out an annoyed sigh before rushing to pull out her phone. Repeating the same steps as before, she stopped and thought to herself, Maybe it did seem like she was stalking if she just sent her a dm.

“I’m gonna text Haerin.”

“Why?”

“…I don’t want to look like I’m stalking.” Hanni sent Minji a glare, knowing the girl was going to take that as a win, like Hanni was admitting to stalking.

Minji went to open her mouth, but before she could, Hanni spoke before her.

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Minji acted shocked, throwing her hands up in the air as if she wasn’t going to do anything.

MASTERLIST | NEXT

[OPEN] TAGSLIST ༄ @saysirhc @aeriigfs @sixflame438 @idkwhatim-doinghere101 @luvqiris @frenchyypoo @wintersgff

[jokeroutsubs]

Joker Out Masterpost for new fans

New fan of Joker Out? Say no more! 

Getting to know a new artist you’ve found can be intimidating if it’s all in another language, so we’ve compiled some of our favourite interviews, articles and lore here! You’ve arrived in a wonderful fanbase, welcome from all of us here at JokerOutSubs! 

If you’d just like a short overview of the band and their history, you can watch this excellent Finnish summary of them that we’ve translated (14m 53s).

But if you want to dive into the details, then check out our timeline, full of videos and articles translated by JokerOutSubs! 

Timeline graphic:

Timeline in details below the cut 👇

Timeline in details: 

How did the band form? 

Joker Out was formed from two bands, Apokalipsa and Buržuazija. 

Apokalipsa included Bojan Cvjetićanin (vocals), Martin Jurkovič (bass) and Matic Kovačič (drums) 

They gained some traction with young people around Slovenia, particularly with their song 'Mogoče' ('Maybe'), which you can watch on YouTube here.

They came to the attention of Kris Guštin, who was inspired to start learning guitar! He discusses the details in this video (at 9:40). 

Kris then met Jan Peteh, another student of his guitar teacher, and at their teachers advice, they formed the band Buržuazija. 

Bojan attended their second ever gig in 2016, and decided these two excellent guitarists were exactly what had been missing from Apokalipsa, as he wasn’t happy with their current guitarists. He asked them to join, and they accepted

The new lineup (Bojan, Jan, Kris, Martin and Matic) decided to rename themselves Joker Out. The name means nothing, but they thought it sounded good and was the ‘least horrible’ of all the ideas they could think of. 

So, in 2016, Joker Out was officially formed! 

November 2016, Kot srce ki kri poganja: 

Joker Out’s first music video was for their song ‘Kot srce ki kri poganja’ ('Like a heart that pumps blood'), filmed in Jan’s hometown of Vrhnika! We eventually got this song on Spotify on their 2023 album Live from Arena Stožice!

Music video: Kot srce ki kri poganja

English Interview (from 3:37 to 6:05): Joker Out discusses filming the music video

June 2017, Špil Liga:

One of the earliest performances for Joker Out was at Špil Liga, a competition for young bands in Slovenia. They won, and recorded their winning song, Omamljeno telo (intoxicated body) in November as part of the prize. 

Live (33m): Joker Out at Špil liga

Interview (5m): Reflections on Špil Liga in 2023 

c.2017/18, Bojan’s attempt at going solo:

The band took a hiatus c.2017/18, and Bojan considered going solo at that time, even working with a few producers. He eventually realised that he belonged with the band! Hear him tell the story:

Reel (1m 23s): A1 Vajb - Bojan’s fail

2019, A change up for the band:

The band began working with their current producer, Žare Pak, and their videographer Mark Pirc, in 2019 - both of whom have been referred to as the sixth member of the band. This led to a change in their sound and production quality, which culminated in ‘Gola’ ('Naked'), the first of their songs to be a big hit!

Music video: Gola

Zlata piščal ('Golden Flute') - Best New Artist 2019:

Joker Out won their first Zlata piščal award in 2019, for best new artist (one of many they’d go on to win!) This is a kind of Slovenian Grammy! Covid interrupted the proceedings, but you can see their interview for it here (3m 59s)- 

Interview: Joker Out wins a Zlata piščal ('Golden Flute') for Best New Artist 2019

Umazane misli, and a new member: 

During the Covid times, the band began recording their first studio album, 'Umazane misli' ('Dirty thoughts'), which was originally going to be released in March 2020 but was repeatedly delayed until October 2021. The first half was recorded with drummer Matic Kovačič, but the band felt they needed something extra and brought in Jure Maček to help write the arrangements. They loved him so much, he never left! 

Interview (from 10:40 to 11:36): Bojan talks briefly about Jure joining the band

COVID times, and Cvetličarna: 

The band had arranged to do two concerts at Cvetličarna, a very important venue in Slovenia and a big break for them. This was delayed several times due to Covid, but eventually managed to go ahead in October 2021 for the release of their first album. 

Video (1m 14s): Cvetličarna promotional video

Live (1h 28m): Joker Out at Cvetličarna

Interview (34m 55s): Bojan discusses Cvetličarna, its importance, and Covid

Umazane misli album launch: 

'Umazane misli' was extremely well received! The band would go on to win two more Zlata piščal awards, Newcomers of the Year in 2020 and Artist of the Year in 2021.

Interview (37m 08s): Umazane misli album presentation

An acting career for Bojan? 

Around the same time as 'Umazane misli' was released, Bojan began considering an acting career. He acted in two episodes of the series ‘Gospod Professor’ and in another series, which was eventually reworked as a film called ‘Kaj pa Ester’ and released in December 2023. He decided music was his passion though, and he wanted to fully focus on that. 

Interview (from 10:04 to 11:30): Bojan discusses his acting career

Interview (2m 11s): Kaj pa Ester interview

Interview (2m 30s): Kaj pa Ester première

Article: Bojan on Kaj pa Ester

September 2022, Križanke:

The band got straight to work writing their second album, 'Demoni' ('Demons'), and decided to present it in September 2022 at Križanke, another hugely important venue in Slovenia. This whole concert wasn’t recorded, but we have an interesting advertisement they did for it, an interview and a clip of one song live from Križanke! 

Video (5m 4s): Full Joker Out Hotline trailers

Interview (2m 16s): Joker Out with parachutes to Križanke?

Live (4m 7s): 'Novi val' ('New wave') live at Križanke

Interview (44m 35s): Demoni album presentation

Another new member! 

After Križanke at the end of 2022, Martin Jurkovič, one of the founding members of the band, made the decision to leave to focus on his studies.

Video (2m 20s): Martin's departure

Thankfully, he was replaced by the wonderful Nace Jordan, who remains the bassist in the current lineup.

Article: Nace Jordan discusses joining the band

2023, Eurovision:

Joker Out were then internally selected to go to Eurovision 2023, and began recording their Eurovision song, 'Carpe Diem', in Hamburg in December 2022. To learn more, you can watch the Carpe Diem series, a documentary series which followed their entire journey. 

The first episode, recording Carpe Diem, can be found with subtitles in multiple languages by JokerOutSubs!

Video (16m 41s): Carpe Diem Ep. 1 - Hamburg

The band performed their song for the first time live on Misija Liverpool, a televised debut, on the 4th February 2023.

Video (27m): Joker Out performing at Misija Liverpool

There are quite literally hundreds of interviews with Joker Out during the Eurovision era. Here's one from just before the final, that we have translated.

Interview: Joker Out before the final on the 13th May

And a few English interviews that became famous in the fanbase! 

Interview (24m 29s): Eurovanja

Interview (8m 10s): Seize the Day situations

Interview (17m 18s): Tiktok Live

Interview (6m 30s): ‘Never have I ever’

Interview (14m 12s): Madrid Eurovision

Result

Joker Out came 21st at Eurovision, which they were satisfied with.

Interview (1m 36s): Bojan talks about their results

European tour and Sunny Side of London (22nd September)

Luckily, the best was still to come for Joker Out! The rest of 2023 was spent on an extremely successful European tour, and they also released their first English single, 'Sunny Side of London', in September. 

We at JokerOutSubs were also thrilled to interview the band twice on their tour!

Original Interview (15m 25s): JokerOutSubs interview in Tampere

Original Interview (14m 37s): JokerOutSubs interview in Poznań

6th of October 2023, Stožice:

All of this, however, was building up to Stožice. This is the biggest closed venue in Slovenia and Joker Out managed to sell out their October show there - an extremely important milestone for Slovenian artists. 

Interview (15m 4s): Stožice and their whirlwind post Eurovision career

Live: Full concert live-streamed part 1 and part 2

A lovely moment at Stožice was when former members Martin Jurkovič and Matic Kovačič joined the band onstage to perform 'Kot srce ki kri poganja'!

Interview (2m 4s): Martin and Matic discuss the experience

Interview (5m 9s): Joker Out post Stožice impressions

London era and Everybody’s Waiting: 

Joker Out spent the beginning of 2024 in London, where they wrote new music, did live cooking shows on Instagram and met the incredibly talented photographer, Damon Baker, who did a beautiful series of photoshoots with them. They also released their next English single, 'Everybody’s Waiting', in February. 

They sat down with us at JokerOutSubs to discuss all this on the 20th February!

Original Interview (59m 13s): JokerOutSubs interview in London

March and April 2024, ‘See you soon’ tour:

The boys then embarked on the ‘See you Soon’ tour, another very successful European tour. They played three new songs live during the tour, two of which we translated from the concert videos of our members!

Live:  First performance of 'Bluza' ('Blouse')

Live: First performance of the hugely popular 'Šta bih ja' ('What would I')

We at JokerOutSubs also interviewed the band a fourth time in Padova!

Original Interview (22m 7s): JokerOutSubs interview in Padova

Now you know a little bit about Joker Out’s history, let’s look a little bit at the members of the band as individuals! 

Who are the members?

Bojan Cvjetićanin - singer

Charming, charismatic and an all round green flag, deep down we’re all Bojan girlies! See him here on Cosmopolitan's Blind date, Portrait with Coffee and a lovely interview he did for Delo! 

Interview (8m 49s): Cosmopolitan's Blind date

Interview (18m 3s): Portrait with Coffee

Article: “If we believed that we were “kings”, that wouldn’t be us”

Jan Peteh - guitarist

The mysterious mathematician of the band, Jan and his cat Igor have stolen the hearts of the fanbase. Here he is on Undercover Mathematician and on Metropolitan podcast with ex bassist Martin! 

Interview (3m 26s): Undercover mathematician

Interview (43m 57s): Jan and Martin on Metropolitan podcast

Kris Guštin - guitarist

Known for his organisational expertise, 'slay pose' and 'cake baking skills,' Kris stays fabulous on and off stage!

Video (1m 5s): NGVOT backstory (Kris’ breakup) at Cvetličarna

Article: Interview with the entire Guštin family

Jure Maček - drummer

Described consistently by his band mates as ‘čaga’ (party), Jure brings a chaotic energy to Joker Out that we love to see!

Video (41s): Jure’s cheating (in school!) story

Interview (18m 3s): Sunday Chat on Radio 94

Nace Jordan - bassist

The oldest member of Joker Out, Nace is a genuine sweetheart who fit like a glove into Joker Out despite joining much later! 

Article: "Enriched by a special [Eurovision] experience"

Interview (18m 24s): Interview with JokerOutSubs in Umag

Get to know the whole band! 

They mostly do interviews together, so here are some of our favourites!

Interview (16m 52s): Vičstock Unplugged

Video (7m 3s): Joker Out pre-Križanke Instagram Q&A compilation

Interview (54m 42s): Multisciplinary panel at Bežigrad High School

Article: Joker Out for DELO

Article: Joker Out for Mladina magazine

Interview (6m 42s): Joker Out for RTV SLO

Interview (1h 1m): Joker Out for N1 podkast

We hope you’ve enjoyed learning a bit more about our favourite band! 

If you’d like even MORE translated interviews, articles and Instagram stories, you can find us on Tumblr, X, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and Spotify under the name JokerOutSubs!

P.S: If you wish to share this post with new fans, we also provided QR codes!

[sgiandubh]

She saw, she was first, she scored, homerun

Heh. But Marple only tells you what is convenient for her, right?

This time, I do not have the clip, like she does, simply because as I said, I could not be arsed to watch it. But a trusted friend did, all five hours of it (thank you, dear 😘😘😘😘) and sent me very decent screencaps of S + June Brunette at that tennis event. She sent them a couple of hours ago, while I was busy having a life and lunch, you know (I can prove it anytime, but will always protect my Circle of Trust). Sorry for the delay.

As you know, this blog does not believe that hiding information is the best thing to do. I never did.

Following are the screencaps I have received, in order, and with very precise comments. If anything is wrong, let it be my and her sin. But it is not and you will immediately see why.

Context: S and June Brunette's juiciest appearance in that very exposed spot of the VIP area coincided with Mansour Bahrami's match. S came first, at around 03: 04:49.

Two other people who were seated on those seats before his arrival get up and leave (perhaps prompted? perhaps uninterested in Bahrami? we can only speculate) - all this perhaps about 20 to 30 seconds before S arrives, alone:

He takes a seat and quickly arranges his jacket on his knees, perhaps sends an SMS (I am not Mrs. Graham and, unlike many other people across the street, never pretended to have infrared surveillance material):

Meanwhile, she pops in, at around 03:05:10. Unmistakably Panikian - the yellow outfit was a dead giveaway and he practically pointed when, where and for what to look, in his post: 'and of course, the legend, @mansourbahramiofficial'.

Heh: he was far from surprised and she did not chitchat at all ('is this seat taken?' etc). She just sat down: it was a very natural thing to do:

Then, he takes her in a bear hug. Kinda, sorta. Making sure they are well exposed, unlike you know, that other time:

I am told it was a matter of seconds before he wrapped his arm around her neck. Well, that is the rebuke I have been waiting for about three weeks, right?

At about 04:03:41 and until 04:10:03, she goes out, for some reason (🚹? 💄? 📳? your guess is as good as mine):

My candid question is.. who is Light Green Arrow Woman? This is the first time I see her clearly in those screenshots I (one more time, for the people in the back) have been sent by a trusted friend. Could she be a chaperone of sorts? I am told that on the video edit Marple made a modo suo, she seems to be interacting with Mrs. Panikian, but I would have to see that:

A selfie is taken, to properly document the bullshit (after she helped herself with some more champagne):

Whatever Marple calls 'quite the hug' is a kiss on the cheek, and you can see it quite clearly on her edit, if you really are freaked out by this cheap arrangement:

Prompted by the impromptu (heh) 🔦 + 🍾cocktail, she took it very seriously. A pity she did, without having the slightest idea of the strange place she landed in.

That would be it, to be honest. The pics and stills of these two individuals where he does wear a jacket, that our side published first yesterday are from the first part of the program. I do have a couple of more stills from then, but you have it all on that edit. There is no need to add more pics to it, doesn't bring anything new to the table.

And now, onwards for some more context.

Such as this post on June 13, 2024:

With this very peculiar hidden comment:

From a very peculiar sock account:

Mmmhm. Joined in June 2024, follows nobody and is followed by nobody, and yet felt the need to change the username already once? I mean, what the fuck is this cheap game, right here?

So, for those of you naive (I am elegant) enough to think this Brief Encounter was organic, think twice. Somebody followed whatever the scheming was and that somebody tried to warn the woman. Whether about the Inglorious Pap Walk or about Kissgate (the message was posted around June 15th), is to be debated. But still...

And there is some more, of course : I may not be willing to fuck my (already complicated) eyesight with edits and frames and screenshots, but I am not yet dead and I still have all my brain faculties.

Around the same time Mrs. Panikian began to be followed by S on IG, she also began to be followed by a very decent (give or take a couple of details) physical alternative to My Personal Someone. Who would kill me if he could read this post, btw. That is, if you could kill someone with cold shoulder treatment and an icy gaze (Spanish style all the way):

Quick, let's see what his Personal Life insert tells us:

I mean, D'OH: in case you wondered who the fuck that warning sock account was. NEED I DRAW IT?

Nah, can't be Margot, what were we thinking?

🙄🙄🙄

He followed her not so long ago, but well, he wasn't active since March, LOL:

And look how cute, they are fresh (?) mutuals, as of very recently/now - I might be wrong, but I don't think I am:

Tattoos, fitness venues, filthy porn bots in his 'Tagged' section, rumored to be single since at least last year. Rings a bell? Oh, surely not. Especially when you find out that this guy is also a mildly hot topic on Data Lounge (hope dies last):

Similar profiles (but Eggold is apparently a staunch Catholic - the gay conspirators grin with glee), similar PR problems. Alice to the rescue?

At any rate, she is up for grabs, people: 'looking for a man with a decent sense of humor who doesn't troll women's IG pages' - LOOOOOL. Meet the bloody OL fandom, doll - how's that for trolling? Betcha didn't see what real trolling is, yet.

On a sidenote, in an effort to leave no stones unturned, I have even looked for the edits on her Wikipedia page, until I realized they were unsubstantial and made by a clearly obsessed fan of Miss Universe contests (yeah, such people exist):

Surely enough, that user was blocked for sockpuppetry, which means 'abusing multiple accounts'. But Panikian was not her main obsession and for once, this has nothing to do with the current cheapo story that they try to peddle us. Whoever 'they' are.

That's all for now, ladies. Thanks to all three of you who sent tips and raw info for me to connect. You are wonderful!

It's going to be an interesting summer, for sure.

Ship on, ladies, still the same old, tired, boring BS. But also an interestingly symmetrical rebuke to TS Kissgate - if only...

[taevbears]

To Be Loved - 01

Here's where she meets prince charming.

⤑ pairing: namjoon x reader ⤑ genre: hybrid au, romance, hurt/comfort ⤑ rating: 18+ ⤑ word count: 5.2k ⤑ warnings: DEPICTIONS OF READER IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP (i.e, manipulation, domestic/verbal abuse, threats, degradation, violence toward reader), bullying toward reader, the "gaston" character is a straight-up asshole lmao, hyrbids are treated as second-class humans, description of bodily harm, sexual harassments, minor violence, based off 2013 namjoon in this chapter lol. please be mindful of the warnings!!⤑ note: happy birthday, namjoon!! while i was taking a break from magic shop, i've been working on a couple other projects and i finally finished one. it's truly a coincidence that i completed this story today lol. this story is loosely based off beauty & the beast but with hybrids.

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 (End)

It was a dark and stormy night.

Flickering fluorescent lights. The heat of the jeering crowd. Grey concrete in the old warehouse. Speakers reverberating a deep bass that fills the room. Thunder is drowned out as two amateur rappers spit lines on the small stage, eliciting reactions from the audience before them.

One of the contestant’s attention drifts to the crowd until he makes eye contact with you. It seems like he was looking for you. The moment you raise your hand to offer a tiny, half-hearted wave, the corners of his lips tug to a haughty smirk. Then, with the microphone to his lips, he puffs out his chest, turns back to his opponent, and begins rapping.

You’re less than impressed when he finishes his turn and is declared the winner of the round.

To be fair, however, this isn’t your scene. It’s too loud. Too rowdy.

If it were up to you, you’d be at home. Safe and cozy in your warm bed, curled up to a good book or movie. Initially, you didn’t even want to come, complaining that the weather is awful, the venue is too small, the floors are sticky, and that there are too many people.

But he insisted that you come tonight. For him.

One of his friends has her arm linked with yours, anchoring you to her. Her eyes are bright with excitement as she screams in your ear, “Fighting! Kangdae!”

The one you’re all here to see stands on the stage, relishing in the audience’s attention. There’s a smug look on his face when he meets your gaze, as if checking to see if you’re just as impressed with his performance as the rest of the audience is.

Politely, you clap your hands, not quite sure what the etiquette for these types of things are.

The host continues to rile up the crowd, daring any of the other contestants to step forward and challenge Kangdae.

No one does.

Except for one.

Silence follows as a lanky, tall contestant comes onstage. One that no one has heard from yet. Sunglasses cover his eyes, but you can make out some of his predominant features: his full lips, the deep dimples in his shy smile, his tanned skin.

“Okay, kid,” the host says, intrigued. “Show us what you got.”

The kid is handed a mic. Kangdae looks him up and down and scoffs.

The difference between the two is telling. 

Kangdae lives for the attention, wildly gesturing and getting into his opponent’s face. He encourages the crowd to cheer him on like that. Their hoots and hollering pumps the adrenaline in his veins as he verbally attacks the guy ballsy enough to challenge him.

His opponent, to your surprise, stands quietly as he’s thrown insult after insult. Then, when it’s his turn, the room falls in awe. His flow makes him sound professional, even though he sounds quite young. You’re impressed with his wordplay, how he keeps up with the rhythm, how he delivers the lines.

He’s by far your favorite of all the ones you’ve heard tonight.

There’s a clear winner after the boy with sunglasses is done, though rather than shove his victory at his opponent’s face, he holds out his hand to Kangdae and offers a dimpled smile.

Rap Monster.

That’s what they call him.

And as Kangdae bitterly shakes his hand, stunned at the turn of events, you’re beginning to see why they call him that.

In your small, provincial town, Kangdae has it all. He’s a handsome young man, athletic and popular. His family is well-off; so much so that he can indulge in expensive clothing brands, own the newest models and gadgets, and party every weekend at some bougie club or resort. Guys look up to him. Girls are in love with him. He lives off the attention and praise from his big circle of friends.

And yet, for whatever shallow reason, he seems fixated on you.

Unlike Kangdae, you hate being in the spotlight. It makes you shy. It makes you feel nervous. You tend to keep to yourself because of that, reading books or watching animal videos on your phone. You feel like you hardly have any friends in the town.

Then, one day, seemingly out of nowhere, Kangdae declares he wants you to be his girl.

And suddenly, you’re on everybody’s radar.

Why would someone so brilliant and outgoing even be interested in a boring and quiet person like you? 

That’s a question even you often wonder.

Finding the answers to that, however, becomes unwarranted.

People start to talk to you. People you’ve never spoken to before suddenly act friendly toward you. People who’ve never spared you a glance suddenly want to know all your dirty secrets. People who don’t even know you begin to spread rumors.

“The whole town already knows you’re my girl,” Kangdae tells you one day, while you’re sitting on the steps of your house, eyes red from tears of a recent bullying incident. He doesn’t seem to care about that though. In fact, you’re certain he’s even laughed about it at your expense. “Why don’t we just make it official? You’re not dating anyone, are you?”

“Are you even attracted to me?” you ask him seriously.

He shrugs. “Yeah, you’re hot. I heard quiet girls can get quite freaky too.”

“No way,” you cut in, repulsed by his insinuation. You stand on your feet, turning to go inside. “I’ll never–”

Before you could open the door, you’re suddenly shoved against it. Kangdae towers over you, anger burning in his eyes. He’s never been rejected. He always gets his way. 

It’s something you learn the hard way.

“Then I’ll make sure your life continues to be a living hell,” he threatens before he releases you.

More than before, unwanted attention is thrown at you. As soon as you enter the classroom, people stare and sneer. You hear them whisper about you in the hallways. You’re confronted in small groups. Accusations that you think you’re too good to be dating someone like Kangdae. How there must be something wrong with you.

In the eyes of many, Kangdae is perfect. Objectively handsome. Popular among his peers. Comes from money. All the guys you know want to be him. All the girls you know want to be with him. What makes a nobody like you think that you can do better?

You hardly had any friends in the town, but not once have you ever felt this isolated. You’ve never felt this singled-out. It feels like the whole world is against you.

You can’t take it.

“Kangdae,” you call out to him, stopping as he’s about to head to the field. He’s dressed in his sports uniform, about to go into a match against another school. “One date.”

A Cheshire smile spreads across his face. “I knew you wouldn’t resist, babe.”

You try not to cringe when he plants a wet kiss on your cheek.

Maybe you’re naïve. But maybe that’s why Kangdae is after you.

You’re quiet, soft-spoken, and incredibly shy. You don’t have a lot of friends, and you haven’t had a serious relationship before him. You don’t know anything about what love really is. Yet, despite what an odd loner you are, you’re a beautiful girl. Innocent and loyal to a fault. An easy target for Kangdae to walk all over. 

With his hand around your waist, you feel like an accessory. Before you ever considered dating him, he already declared you as his girlfriend, telling even strangers that he passed by that you would one day be his.

“Right from the moment I saw you, I think I fell in love,” he admits on your first date, taking you to a nice, upscale restaurant. It’s different from anything you’ve experienced in your small town. The menu items are so expensive, it doesn't list pricing, and each course that is presented at your table is like a work of art.

What’s most interesting about this restaurant, however, isn’t just the food. But the staff.

Gorgeous women in white blouses and black skirts that show off their voluptuous curves and long legs. Poking at the back of the skirts are tails. And on their heads are pairs of animal ears. Some of them have stripes or spots on their skin, some have nails as sharp as claws, and some have unique eyes like cats and reptiles. 

Hybrids.

Neither human, nor animal. But something in-between.

In your town, coming across them is rare but not unheard of. They usually dwell in the cities, where sanctuaries housing them are. Some are adopted into families or are hired to do difficult and dirty work with an employer willing to work with them. But most aren’t as lucky, and are treated as sub-human. Worse than how some people care for their beloved cat or dog.

“What makes you say that?” you ask Kangdae as a bunny hybrid brings out the next course. She, like the other hybrids, is quite beautiful.

“Because you’re gorgeous,” he simply states as he sips on some liquor. Then, suddenly, he smacks the hybrid’s ass. “Hey, isn’t my girlfriend gorgeous?”

“Kangdae!” 

“Yes, sir,” the hybrid quickly answers before practically running away from the table. You feel awful, but Kangdae cackles as if it’s the most entertaining thing he’s seen all evening.

“Babe, don’t be mad. She’s just a hybrid.”

One date turns into another. He showers you with expensive gifts, and takes you out to luxurious places. Sometimes, it’s nice. You never imagined you’d be leaning against the railing of a yacht, feeling the salt air against your skin as the boat cruises through deep blue waters. Or fine dining at rooftop restaurants in the big cities with a breathtaking view of the skylines.

You find yourself watching underground rap contests, and witnessing the skill and poetry of a particular contestant that caught your attention once. A tall boy with a thick pair of sunglasses and a dimpled smile.

Other times, it can feel overwhelming. Like you’re undeserving all the things that he bombards you with, and you owe it to him for one more date. One more party he wants you to come with him too. One more ‘this is the last time’ before he asks you again.

He introduces you to his friends, showing you off to them despite how out of place you feel among them. He texts and calls you all the time, wanting to know where you are and who you’re with, and letting you know that he’s thinking about you in persistent, long messages. He posts about you on his social media, calling you his girl, as engagements of likes, views, and comments fill underneath it.

People tell you all the time that you’re lucky though.

Of all the girls he could’ve been with, he picked you. Someone handsome, rich, and popular fell in love at first sight with a boring, quiet, lonely girl like you.

And maybe that’s why you stay. Who else would love you if not him?

Next week, you find yourself in the same, abandoned warehouse. Another night, another show. Another chance for Kangdae to redeem himself.

One thing about him is that he hates to lose. His pride just wouldn’t allow it.

Yet, once again, he doesn’t stand a chance.

This time, Rap Monster seems to be the crowd favorite. Everyone cheers for him once he steps onstage, wearing the same dark sunglasses over his eyes. He seems a bit more confident as he raps, his flow and rhythm even better than last week.

You feel like a fan as you and your group stand close to the stage. Although you’re supposed to be there for Kangdae, you can’t help but cheer his opponent on. Your heart jumps when you see Rap Monster catch your eye and give you a dimpled smile, bowing like a prince when he ends his round.

A shift can be felt once it’s Kangdae’s turn with the mic. People in your group and some of the audience make some noise, but the majority of strangers in the crowd are merely nodding along or quietly listening. 

Until the first heckle comes. Followed by someone else yelling at him to get off the stage.

Mean laughter fills the room, and you almost feel bad for Kangdae.

Had it not been for what he does next.

Gasps and exclamations of shock are followed when he suddenly punches Rap Monster.

“Hey, no! You can’t do that shit!” the host yells as the security guards make haste to handle the situation. They pull Kangdae away, trying to de-escalate, but it’s too late. The crowd gets riled up, shouting and egging him on. Two men have to hold Kangdae down, but he’s strong. He nearly manages to break free and get to Rap Monster’s face a couple times. Rap Monster’s sunglasses are knocked off, and he’s holding his face with one hand, covering an eye.

Because when he opens the other one… it looks strange.

It doesn’t look human.

A couple people up front scream in terror as they point at him. “A monster!”

“He’s one of them!” another shouts in disgust. “He’s a hybrid!”

Suddenly, the room seems to quiet down as they all look at him, stunned, horrified, disgusted. You could see him trying to hide his face as the host snaps at him, “This event is for humans only!”

The sunglasses have fallen near you, and without thinking, you quickly grab them and climb onto the stage. You don’t know what’s gotten over you. You hate attention. You hate being in the spotlight. You’re often shy and insecure, and always stay in your lane.

But you have to help.

“Here,” you tell him gently, pushing the broken sunglasses toward his hand. Up this close, you feel so small standing next to him. “You should get out of here.” 

He nods his head and takes them from you, seeming grateful and a little scared. His eyes look reptilian like a serpent, but they’re pretty. You feel like you can’t forget them.

In the innermost area of the iris, near his slightly vertical pupil, is a hint of warm brown, but the rest is a mix of deep blue and purple. The color of indigo. 

“Get away from her, you beast,” Kangdae commands, but Rap Monster is already walking away from the stage. Away from you.

Somehow, the rain outside seems to pour harder as he leaves.

It’s been years since that night.

Kangdae seemed over it, wanting to chase his fifteen minutes of fame elsewhere. And while you were interested in one of the rappers, you aren’t keen enough to keep going back. It isn’t like that Rap Monster would be welcomed at the future showings anyway.

However, you start listening to hip-hop music more than other genres these days. Secretly hoping that, if you’re to meet him again, maybe the two of you could talk about some of the artists you like. Books that you’ve read, movies you’ve seen.

But you haven’t seen him since.

You end up working for Kangdae’s family. In such a small, provincial town, there isn’t much of an option. His family seems to own and have connections to everything.

To the point where even your family tells you how lucky you are. Kangdae is a catch. Marrying him would guarantee a well-off life with someone objectively handsome, who thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in town, who you’d be out of your mind to leave or break things off with.

Although your father and your siblings mean well, you could only nod in defeat. You can’t bear to tell them how miserable you are with Kangdae.

The same man who tells you you’re the one for him, but flirts with other women in front of you. Who gets angry over little things and takes it out on you, screaming at your face, throwing things that nearly hit you, punching holes in walls and doors, or leaving you confused and worried for days without a word until he finally decides to come back. He’d shower you with expensive gifts and affection to make up for it, but his sweeter side never stays long before the cycle repeats.

And you can’t seem to find your way out of it.

The constant pressure to be with Kangdae has you wishing you could just disappear from the town.  To run away from it all and never go back.

But you’re a coward, and you don’t know where else to go. Everyone in town likes Kangdae, and even your family wouldn’t believe what a monster he really is.

In the apartment you share with him, it’s dark and empty. Empty bottles of soju and beer are on the coffee table, dirty dishes are in the sink for you to clean, there’s still a gaping hole in the pantry from an argument a couple weeks ago that hasn’t been fixed. But Kangdae’s shoes aren’t by the door, and you don’t imagine he’d be back anytime soon.

With a quiet, defeated sigh, you take off your shoes and your coat, place your purse down, and begin cleaning up the mess. You go through the motions of it, exhausted from work, from having more to do once you get home, and as you gather the bottles, you see that he’s placed some on top of a book.

A fairy tale story about a far-off place, daring sword fights, and a prince in disguise.

It’s your favorite. The local librarian gave it to you as a gift, and Kangdae is using it as a coaster. And one of the half-empty bottles has spilled over, soaking through the pages.

Angry, you drop the bag on the ground, letting the bottles clatter against each other, and pick up the book, trying to salvage the ruined cover. But rings of liquid stain the front, and the pages are wrinkled from the liquid, blurring the texts so they’re unreadable.

Even before, the book is already a bit worn-out when it was gifted to you, but it still makes you want to cry. Kangdae doesn’t seem to care about you at all anymore.

How much longer are you going to put up with this? Shouldn’t you deserve your own happiness? Shouldn’t you deserve to be loved? 

You have to leave him. You don’t know when. You don’t know how. But you have to. 

That much you know.

Your plans are foiled by a single question.

“Will you marry me?”

Horror strikes your face. Down on one knee before you is Kangdae with a beautiful diamond ring. You could feel every person in the room staring at you, waiting for an answer. All his friends, your family, and even random strangers at the venue are gathered unexpectedly and witnessing his proposal. Wide smiles and excited looks surround you, as if they already know you’ll say yes.

Do you want to say yes?

Are you going to tell him no? In front of all these people?

“Kangdae, I—” you start to say, your voice trembling. You could feel the pressure weighed upon you, setting you close to a panic.

Your boyfriend doesn’t notice how uncomfortable you are. He’s busy flashing a bright, charming smile at the anticipating crowd for his big moment. His smile starts to falter when you take too long to respond.

Behind the smile, you could almost sense it. The heat of his anger.

You have to say something. You have to decide.

You have to tell him no.

“I…” you begin again. Your gaze catches Kangdae’s family, and how they nod their head, encouraging you to continue. Your voice is very soft and almost defeated when you say, “Okay.”

“Yes? You’re saying yes?” Kangdae exclaims loudly as the people around cheer and clap. You even see some girls start to burst into tears. Girls you know Kangdae frequently talk to. Your family seems relieved, worried that you’d reject him, that you’d shame and humiliate them with your refusal.

But it’s when you look at Kangdae’s family where your blood runs cold. They whisper to each other and nod, gauging the reaction of those witnessing the proposal. It feels like they’re in a business merger, and it occurs to you that maybe, to them, it is one.

You feel numb as Kangdae pulls you into a kiss and a tight embrace.

You’re engaged now.

And it makes you want to throw up.

“Come on, don’t be like that,” Kangdae whines, trying to pull you closer to him. “Why are you upset? We’re engaged now!”

“Is it because you want to marry me? Or because your family made you?”

He scoffs. “What are you saying?”

It’s been years since the two of you have been together. Years of you being compliant, years of you arguing behind closed doors, of you silently suffering and hoping that things will get better. That, perhaps, one day you could convince yourself that he’ll change his ways. That he'll love you.

Perhaps in front of your family and friends, the two of you act like a happy couple.

You’re the girlfriend he brags about. Arm candy that he can show off because you’re the prettiest girl in town. Someone that his parents approve of, and often question when he’ll pop the question to you. A question, you suspect, puts his inheritance on the line if he hadn’t proposed so soon.

“Kangdae, do you even love me?”

Kangdae laughs. It’s a dark, biting chuckle that makes your skin crawl. “For a pretty girl, you sure say a lot of stupid shit. What kind of fucking question is that?”

Your mouth snaps shut. Until he snaps at you to answer him. “Kangdae, I…”

“Didn’t I propose to you? What more do you want, huh?”

“I’m sorry—”

“Don’t you realize how lucky you are to be with a guy like me? I spent so much money on you! I buy you nice things. I take you to beautiful places. I’ve helped you get a job at my parents’ company. I’ve bought you a home. And this is how you repay me?”

“Kangdae, please, just hear me out,” you plead, but the guilt and fear are already eating at you. It’s true that he’s provided you with so much. Are you being foolish? Ungrateful?

“Don’t forget, stupid bitch,” he threatens, his voice low as he grabs your face, squeezing your cheeks with his grip. “You will be my wife. You’re nothing without me. I will make your life a living hell. If you think this is the worst, then you’ve seen nothing yet.”

He storms out. 

And as the door slams shut, you slowly sink to the floor, trembling as his words of a very bleak future run through your head. Crying in misery and frustration that you, once again, couldn’t stand up for yourself. That you still feel too scared to just leave him and all you know behind. That his anger and selfishness will continue to wear you down.

That, soon, you’ll be married to a monster.

It’s after a long day at work when you see Kangdae again. However, he isn’t alone.

“What’s going on? What is this?”

You frown at the sight before you. Kangdae is on the couch, and kneeling by his feet and wrapped in a ribbon is a young man.

No, a hybrid. A bunny hybrid.

He’s very muscular, with bruises and scratches covering his golden skin. His hair is dark, matching the long, black ears on his head. And his eyes are big, round, and full of fear as he stares back at you.

“Don’t you like him? Watched him in a fight last night. He’s pretty tough for a bunny, but lost in the final round. His owner was pissed! Nearly knocked him out himself!” Kangdae cackles with laughter, seeming to have found it amusing. "But babe, remember our first date? Remember those hybrid servers you kept staring at?”

“Yes,” you reply with a frown, not really sure what he’s getting at. What do they have to do with the bunny hybrid currently in your living room?

“I convinced the owner to let me borrow his hybrid for the night. As an apology gift,” he states with a proud smile. “Had to fork up a lot of money, but the guy wasn’t too pleased about his prized fighter losing the match anyway.”

“I-I’m not… he’s…” You’re at a loss of words. How could he explain this to you so casually?

“I wanted to make it up to you, babe. Girls dig shit like this, right? Owner kept bragging on and on about how obedient he is and how much stamina he has.” Kangdae can see you’re not into the idea and comes up to you, touching your arm. “I don’t mind. I’d love to watch. Hell, I might even invite the girls over to give him a try.”

“Stop. You’re disgusting.”

How could he think you’d be okay with this? How could anyone?

Hybrids often get treated like pets, but they’re still human. 

“Ungrateful cunt. Can't you see I’m trying to do something nice for you?!” Kangdae roars, and you feel the sting on your face before it registers what happened. He just slapped you.

You’re still in shock and a bit of pain as he grabs his car keys and a jacket. You cradle your cheek as you numbly ask, “Where are you going?”

“I’m going for a drink. Don’t wait up for me.” He slams the door on his way out. You blink back the tears as a deafening silence follows the roar of his engine, the squeals of his tires as he takes off.

Is this all your fault again? Are you being ungrateful?

No, no. Kangdae is the one taking things too far. And you’re so fed up with it.

You've always been afraid to speak up for yourself. You’ve always been a coward, and wanted to play things safe. You’ve always let him walk all over you. You could never save yourself from such a miserable situation.

You’re so preoccupied with your thoughts, you almost forgot you aren’t alone. The sound of rustling catches your attention, and you see the bunny hybrid trying to unravel himself from the ribbon binding him.

“I can help you,” you offer, and he flinches at your voice. You soften your tone and try again. “Would you let me? I promise, I won’t hurt you.”

He thinks about it for a moment, glancing at you with suspicion and weariness. But he nods his head. Despite how bruised up he is, he probably figures he could overpower you if you really intended to harm him.

The two of you are silent as you untie the long ribbon from his wrists and slip it off his torso. But being this close to him also gives you a good view on all the cuts and sores he received from the fight.

Your heart sinks for him. Not only is it highly illegal, but this one is a prey. They’re not supposed to fight in the first place.

“Wait here,” you tell him once he’s free from the bondage. He rubs his wrist, but continues to sit on the floor. Nothing is really stopping him from leaving on his own, so you hurry to find a first-aid kit.

When you return to the living room, the bunny hybrid is still there. He hasn’t moved an inch from his spot. He eyes the little box in your hands, seeming to recognize it.

“I think this should help with some of your wounds. Is it okay if I help you with this too?”

This time, he nods his head more eagerly.

Again, a silence falls between you two. But it isn’t uncomfortable. In fact, it’s been a while since you’ve been in the presence of someone else and the silence felt natural. Every now and then, you’d give him a head’s up about the sting of a topical spray or ask him if the bandage you’re wrapping around him is too tight. And he watches you the whole time, nodding and shaking his head when prompted, seeming used to this. You wonder how often he has to treat his own wounds after being thrown in battle.

The silence is cut when his stomach growls loudly. He looks incredibly embarrassed as you offer a small smile. “I have some food in the fridge if you’re hungry. Let me just finish doing this.”

It doesn’t take too much time at all to treat his wounds and wrap fresh bandages on his injuries. You’ve only encountered hybrids a couple times, so you’re not entirely sure what he’d like to eat. You assume fruits and vegetables, but would that be enough?

You start to pull them out and you’re startled when you see the hybrid standing over your shoulder. You see him eyeing a jar of kimchi and take that out as well.

“Does kimchi fried rice sound good to you?” you ask him, and he nods his head more excitedly. His eyes look brighter too, as if you guessed exactly what he’s craving.

Endeared, you begin to get to work. You pull out the leftover rice, sauces, and the ingredients needed to cook it. The hybrid watches as you chop the vegetables and first cook out the onions before adding in the other vegetables and rice. In another pan, you fry a couple eggs to serve over the rice, and sprinkle some toppings of sesame seeds, nori, and sliced green onion. You ransack your fridge for some side dishes you could pair it with, serving some yellow pickled radishes, pickled cucumbers, and seaweed salad in small bowls.

The hybrid watches with big, round eyes and a jittering leg as you set the food before him. You tell him to eat and you barely take a bite of your own dish before he picks up his bowl and devours it like he hasn’t eaten in days. His brows are furrowed and he starts huffing, but he’s quick to grab the side dish closest to him and cleans that as well.

“Is it good?” you ask him tentatively. 

He gives a brief nod, mouth too full to answer, and fills his bowl with seconds.

“I’m glad. I would’ve made more if I had known you’d be this hungry,” you tell him, heart full just seeing him eat well.

You can’t help but feel sorry for him. You can’t imagine what he’s been through, and you don’t want him to be sent back to his owner. You don’t want him to be put in another dangerous and exploiting situation.

“I’m sorry about him. That guy that was here earlier,” you begin. You’ve barely eaten, but you push your share toward him. “He’s not a nice person.”

The bowl he takes from you covers his face, but his ears twitch toward you. They show that he’s listening to you.

“Your owner isn’t a nice person either, huh?”

The hybrid freezes at the mention of his owner. He lowers the bowl a little and he looks terrified. For the first time, he speaks to you. His word is barely a whisper. “Don’t…”

This time, your eyes widen. “What?”

“Please…” he begs, putting the bowl down. Grains of rice stick around his mouth as he looks at you with pleading eyes. “Please don’t let me go back to him. Please help me.”

Thank you for reading ♡ Comments & reviews are greatly appreciated!

Masterlist | Next

[shadowxamyweek]

An Amy, by any other name, would have to be called, 'Rose.'

Okay. 

A while ago, I got this ask: 

And you know, that’s an interesting question…When did we all decide that Shadow would call Amy, ‘Rose’? Shadow most certainly has never done it in any canon before. Still, we, as a fandom, latched onto the idea and have made it a keystone in just about every shadamy concept we have. Even non-shadamy shippers occasionally have Shadow call Amy, ‘Rose.’

Why? 

Well, I replied to the question basically going, ‘No idea, but it’s a fun concept, right?’ and left it at that. 

@sweetlittlebrie however, took it to the next level. 

They ended up doing some digging on their own, and what they found was excellent! I then reached out, and we kept picking away at this together. It’s been a joy and a delight working on this with them. So, without further ado, here’s what Brie and I were able to find out about Shadow calling Amy ‘Rose,’ and the history of her being referred to as ‘Rose.’ 

2005: Crafted Chaos published ‘Red Roses are the Sweetist.’ This fic, published in August of ‘05, is the oldest fic we came across where ‘Rose’ is used. I specify the month because it came out almost 4 months before ShTH05. Out of all 5 chapters, Shadow only calls Amy ‘Rose,’ once. However, it’s right before he admits to her (and himself) that he loves her. It got pretty decent traction, but this is not, we believe, where the concept really took off. 

I must take a pause here. Despite what anyone’s personal preferences may be, we, as a society, owe porn a great deal. It presents freedom of expression and thought and living in a way that many other works won’t. It goes where others fear to tread. And so, I’d like to take this moment to thank porn and it’s many artists, writers, and cinematographers. 

We’re also pretty sure porn was the venue through which the concept of Shadow calling Amy, ‘Rose’ started to really enter the zeitgeist. 

2008: Shade by the Raven published ‘A Flower Wrapped in Darkness’. This is the first example we were able to find where Shadow calls Amy ‘Rose’ through the entire piece, and it was exceptionally popular! A lot of people tuned in to read and engage with this work, and from here, we do see a bloom (pun intended) of instances in which Shadow calls Amy ‘Rose’ or refers to her in a similar manner. (Heads up, if you want to read it, Amy tries to kill herself in the first chapter.) 

2012: xShadowxRocksx published ‘Without the Mask.’ This is the second most reviewed story for ShadAmy on Fanfic, and, crucially for our purposes, the most popular fic in which Shadow calls Amy ‘Rose’ throughout the work. It’s absolutely a term of endearment, as well as characteristically establishing the difference between the characters. Shadow calling Amy ‘Rose’ is nothing like Sonic calling her ‘Ames.’ They represent two different types of people and two different types of relationships. 

Aaaand here we also have porn. 

2012: Lolly Shane published ‘My Pink Roommate.’ This is a very highly reviewed and well-received fic. Once more, Shadow calls Amy ‘Rose’ through the entire piece. Crucially, it starts as a way to maintain distance, a formality, and then ultimately becomes a name of endearment. This will eventually become a linchpin in many fics where Shadow calls Amy ‘Rose!’ 

I’d like to take this minute to point out an interesting thing I noticed. ‘Without the Mask’ was published May 12th. ‘My Pink Roommate’ was published May 29th. These were literally being written at the same time. They also both were last updated in 2014. It is not out of the realm of possibility that these two writers were aware of each other's work, if not actively participating in the same circle of artists and collaborators. This is probably one of the clearest examples we have of the ripple effect creative ideas can produce when put out into the world for others to enjoy and share with each other. 

And that seems to be where it really took off! From there, the concept of Shadow calling Amy, ‘Rose,’ only grew in popularity. Now, it’s so engrained within the fabric of the shadamy shipping zeitgeist, it’s nigh impossible to imagine it ever having been absent. It is as ubiquitous to the ShadowxAmy ship as ‘Ames’ is to the SonicxAmy ship! 

That’s not all! There are also variations that have spun up across time that lean on the concept of Amy being referred to as, ‘Rose!’ 

Rose used to DESCRIBE Amy, rose girl/rose female/rose hedgehog Rose used as a METAPHORICAL DESCRIPTOR, ‘Amy, like a rose’ / ‘rose of a girl’ / ‘rose petal’ Rose used as JOKE, ‘ladies and roses first’ ‘a rose for a rose’  Rose used in OWNERSHIP, ‘My rose,’ or even ‘My Rose’  Rose used as a LAST NAME, ‘Miss. Rose’ / ‘Dr. Rose’  Rose used BY THE VILLIAN to be threatening, including in ShadAmy enemies-to-lovers fics.  Rose being the name decided by THE WRITER OR AMY (Amy changes her name to Rose for Reasons and anyone then will call Amy ‘Rose’ in this.) 

So this is a summary of everything we found! Hours spent chatting and combing through old works on A03 and FanFic.net have brought us, at last, to here. 

I want to take this moment to point out something else that is amazing. 

The two oldest fics for the ShadAmy ship that we were able to find are as follows:  

2001: Angelwind publishes ‘Shadow of a New Dawn.’ Here, Amy is home, alone, trying to process the events of SA2. She is haunted by the memory of Shadow. Then, out of the dark, he appears. Shadow has come to tell her thank you… and goodbye. Amy convinces him to live, talking him through the night until dawn. In the end, Amy, trying to get Shadow out of his dark thoughts and also get him used to the idea of living, offers to take him on her shopping errands. As they run towards the market, Shadow decides that, now that the Earth is safe, his next mission is to keep Amy Rose safe, and in his own way, he’s happy that he has a choice in making that decision. 

2003: Nara- Mia published ‘Cry.’ Amy finds a Shadow who has survived their fall and finds themselves adrift. They should be dead by now, and they aren’t. Where could they possibly go from here? Amy has no answers, but, as always, she has an immense amount of kindness and hope to share. The piece ends with her offering Shadow a place to stay, and the two setting off together. 

There’s… a lot that goes on when it comes to the representation of these two characters, both on the official side and the fandom side. Even now, as I write this, people are arguing over the characterization of both these beloved hedgehogs. I find though, in reading both of these, a certain delight. Many of the traits ShadAmy fans give to both Amy and Shadow are found here, in these two works. It’s been over a decade since their publications, but frankly, I cannot tell the difference between these and some of the current works being published on A03. 

Funny how some things just keep coming back around. 

As a departing thought, please note- this is just off of what we were able to find. Many people, for many different reasons, delete or have had their work expunged from databases. It is entirely possible there were other examples, maybe even older examples than 2005, where we would have found Shadow using ‘Rose,’ or even Amy just choosing to go by the name, ‘Rose.’ If there were, they are lost to time, and now, it is a truth held only between the writer and the quiet hum of the universe. 

To you out there who make art- you who write and draw and dance and sing and film and edit and make music with your heart on your sleeve- please know your work has value. It makes an impact, it matters, even if you never see how <3 

[thecapricunt1616]

Hibiscus - (c.b. one-shot)

𝓢𝓷𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓽 (𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒): You and Carmy had been dating for about 5 months now, well officially dating. You had met at grant park about a year ago, and had been seeing each other ever since. But the two of you wanted to move things slow, and keep things casual at first since you both didn’t have much experience as far as dating was concerned. 

♡ O/S Inspo: This inviting, beautiful flower is commonly used as an aphrodisiac, as well as love spells are usually used to harness the powers of Hibiscus. Hibiscus Flowers are especially prized for their ability to increase love in a room by burning them as incense. ♡ Summary: You & Carmy meet at a park, over the course of a year you together fall in love over coffee and puppy kisses ♡ W/C: 1,010 ♡ Posted Date: 05/17/2024 ♡ A/N: Hello! I am just pumping out these requests y'all so get em in! You can find my prompt list as well as my request link right below here in my link list! This request here is based on ♡this♡ adorable ask found on my prompt list, I hope this is what you were looking for anon & that you like it! Please request any time :D xoxoxo ♡ Warnings for BTC: None, that I can think of really! Just fluffy sweetness! Black!Fem!Reader friendly, no use of Y/N

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

You and Carmy had been dating for about 5 months now, well officially dating. You had met at grant park about a year ago, and had been seeing each other ever since. But the two of you wanted to move things slow, and keep things casual at first since you both didn’t have much experience as far as dating was concerned. 

You had met while you were walking your new puppy, she had slipped out of her collar somehow and just took off - it was unsurprising that she took off like a bullet after a squirrel, and it was even more unsurprising you that there was no way in hell you were going to catch her, at least you thought. Thankfully Carm was on his morning run, he saw she had no collar on and whistled to her and she ran right up to him.

“Ivy!” You shouted as you booked it down the trail, as you came around the bend you locked eyes with a stunning and very sweaty curly blonde man, holding your dog as she licked his face and he chuckled.

“Is this Ivy?” He asked you and if you weren’t already so hot from running you were sure you’d feel heat in your cheeks. And that was the start of something beautiful. You’d seen Carmy there every morning after. Little did you know - he’d started taking that trail every day for his morning workout, hoping he’d run into you again.

The second and third time, he just said good morning to you and Ivy, and would stop to pet her since she’d yank on her leash and yap at him for his attention. The fourth, fifth, and sixth time, he ended up walking with you on the shorter trail instead of doing his usual 6 mile run and talking with you.

The seventh time, he asked if you wanted to grab coffee with him the following morning- of course you couldn’t say no. From then on, every morning the two of you would meet up to take a walk - you didn’t realize they were getting longer and longer every day because the two of you got so lost in conversation, and then go get coffee at a cafe that accepted pets. It wasn’t until 2 months of meeting up every day for coffee that he’d finally asked you out to dinner. 

He’d taken you on a mini Chicago food tour that Friday evening, and you’d had some of the best food you’d ever tried in your life - that was up until your 2nd date with Carmy, when he’d invited you over to his house & he’d cooked for you. He had made you Northern Italian Truffle Pasta, and it was the best meal of your life, truly. When you’d told him that, he gave you one of his blushy chuckles but you insisted to him that of course it was true.

Then, every Friday evening after that - he made it a point to make time for you and take you out, or cook for you at home and watch a movie which is what you usually preferred. That was what you two were up to tonight. You’d already taken your shower and gotten in your pajamas after eating some amazing tacos that Carmy made for the two of you, and also after having a pretty intense 2 rounds of sex - and were now snuggled up on the couch together comfortably. Carmy was massaging your foot as you two caught up on this weeks episode of Greys Anatomy per your request and you worked on your latest knitting project (a new sweater for Ivy) speaking of who, was cuddled up in Carmy’s lap dozing away. 

You heard a vibration on the coffee table, and naturally your eyes were drawn to it. You see a familiar shirt and scrunch your brows, picking up Carmys phone and clearing the news notification to see you “Am I your…your background?” You asked shyly. He looks over at you, taking the phone with pink cheeks. 

“Yeah..thats ok, right?” he asked and put it in his sweatpants pocket, looking over at you with that anxious Carmy look. You got quite flustered yourself. This was the first time in your life you’d ever been with someone who was so openly infatuated with you, and wasn’t afraid to show it. You smiled a bit, grabbing your phone from the coffee table and unlocking it, showing him your home screen that was a photo of the two of you embraced in a kiss that you’d snuck a photo of. 

“More then ok…I’d never expect you to wanna show me off like that” you said, cheeks feeling hot. He took his phone back out of his pocket once more, Clicking it on and it was a new photo. 

“I love seein’ you” he smiled, you giggled a bit, looking at the other photo of you that he’d snuck. He wasn’t even in these, only you. Candid shots he’d gotten on dates that you two had been on together, or even just hanging out at home it seemed. 

“Is that another photo?” You asked, he nods, clicking the button again and a new one shows up 

“See! Isn’t it cool they let me choose 25!” he said proudly and you laughed a bit. 

“25?! You’ve snuck twenty five pictures of me? You’re a sneak” you teased, kissing his cheek sweetly.

“I’m sneaky when it comes to cute pictures of you yes, I have many more then 25 though” he mused.

    “More then 25? Are you stalking me now, Berzatto?” you kissed his lips gently. 

“Mmm if that’s what it’s called to be proud of having such a beautiful girl” he smiled a bit 

    “You are a flirt you know that right? A big ol’ flirt” you told him, kissing the little scar on his cheek tenderly. His cheeks heat slightly 

    “It’s easy to flirt with you” he held your hand and kissed it gently 

    “Yeah? Why’s that bear?” You muse, playing with his fingers   

“Cause I love you”

[accio-victuuri]

for some reason this second section of songs are making cpfs go wild 👀

unlike the first set, which i think could have their cpns of their own but was really more of social/life commentary on xz’s side. these next ones, are superior. atleast to me. we don’t have the 3rd set yet so i can still be wrong. and i mean sweets aside, the 3 songs released today are instant favorites. i expect people to make bjyx fanvids with lighthouse as the bgm please do not disappoint me. lol.

what we first noticed was xz posting the qq links to the songs using a photo (p1). in it, you clearly see the hands of the watch point to 10 and 5 which is his bday. it made us remember all those times they showed off their watch with questionable numbers visible ( p3 and p4 because xz is not subtle at all ) . coincidentally, a 10:05 timed watch (p2) was also seen in wyb’s most recent NYE performance.

shut up you two. please. 😬

the title track of this section — DRIFTING’s concept sounds like it’s someone exploring an unfamiliar environment. which made is think of wyb’s recent show exploring the unknown. the choice of words and imagery he wants to show is also interesting. take note that xz wrote this song.

Lying on an island and waking up

The top of the cliff, tear it off and go with the flow.

while it’s pretty obvious that this means more than going out in the wilderness in the literal sense when you take the song as a whole — the fact that it fits what wyb has recently done is 😏. can someone please make a video too of ETU with drifting as the background. it would be perfect. thank you. to me, this is xz drawing inspiration from wyb’s experience and combining that to his own “exploration” and drifting in this world.

NOW TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE TRACK LIGHTHOUSE. Personally, it’s my fave and i think it’s the most romantic and bjyx-y of them all. 💕

first of all the imagery of a lighthouse and the sense of it being that only light you see amidst the storm. that no matter what happens, he can look at that. the timing of yibo posing with a light for GRA is making me overthink too. lol. also wyb’s album cover for twenty was a light bulb thing. that kind of symbolism really speaks to them.

and as for the lyrics lemme just leave this select lines for us to all cry about ok?

For whom to move forward? Even if there are thorns under my feet, I'll stay with you till the end.

Where is the storm now? I go against the wind I'm barefoot and go through the crowd…. An island in the dark, We must also go against the tide.

Run towards the lighthouse in the darkness. Even if it rains heavily, Let's go, let's go, we have to go home. Just live hard like this. I only see the lighthouse

The lighthouse in my heart. It will never go out.

songs can be interpreted in different ways and can go in a totally different direction from what the lyricist intended but i am understanding this in a romantic sense. not the cutesy kind of romance, but the one that has hardships, is not easy, but you know that you have each other. the lighthouse in his heart will never go out. in reality, their life is not easy. but they are stronger together. even if there are thorns under my feet i’ll stay with you till the end.

I CAN’T EVEN. AHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭

and oh, talking about the rain and going home. more on the going home part, people are bringing back favorite line among cpfs from an LRLG contribution. supposedly said by yibo.

When I called, I said it was fine, but as I talked, it became like

🟢 : I want to go home. Come and take me home.

I was kinda nervous for track 8 cause that Bo. LOL. the song is also good but i don’t see much CPN from it. or maybe not yet. lol. i just hope they get to have time where they can have night walks together 🌙

-END.

[justchillandshipit]

Here I go again.

Buck asks Eddie if his son is the real reason he doesn't date. Eddie responds with, "That and, they weren't my type."

This has been a flag for everyone who reads the subtext, but let's take a moment to look at the last GIF.

Eddie says they weren't his type. Buck turns around to look at them and probably assesses what makes them, 'not' Eddie's type because the girls were all subjectively pretty. There were also a variety of types of women there.

But look closely at the GIF. Eddie said they weren't his type. While Buck is glancing back, Eddie gives Buck a quick look that really screams, "You are it. You are the type." When I noticed this from the GIF edit, I thought it might be the creator slowing it down, but nope. If I look at the episode, it is the same or nearly the same. This is early season two, and I have always thought, in the early episodes, there was no intent to pair Eddie with Buck as anything but a friend. However, this scene makes me wonder at what point Tim M or whoever was writing changed their minds about adding in a subtextual narrative.

I find it very difficult to see this scene as a heteronormative exchange. In fact, it even feels like Eddie is pushing back a little to test where Buck stands. Buck as a character who lacks self-awareness gives a mixed signal answer. (which tracks with his character at this point and matches his coming-out arc.) **edited to clarify** Buck's mixed signal response to Eddie saying they aren't my type is, "Not mine either, at least not anymore."**

A few seconds later, Buck says Eddie has a weak excuse. My lovely and wonderfully sassy Eddie says, "You live in your invisible girlfriend's house, and you're telling me about weak excuses." He essentially points at Buck's closet door, but of course, this is something that Buck couldn't see or pick up on at the time. These moments are small in the grand scheme of the show as a whole so I'm afraid it will be forgotten. It would be nice to have some sort of throwback acknowledgment that this scene hasn't been retconned.

To backtrack a little bit here, I would also like to point out something else about the early timing or the writing of these characters as potentially queer. They are outside. (True I don't understand the ins and outs of filmmaking so there may very well be a reason for this.) But the shot itself is making them walk close together. Not just close, their shoulders are literally bumping against each other, hitting and knocking at each other in a way that might appear "unintentionally" intimate--until you remember they are outside. It seems to me like there are dozens of ways to shoot this thing that don't require them to be so casually physical with each other. For the scene to be shot like this and then consider the canon conversation that took place, it feels quite intentional that the writers wanted viewers to look closely for something else.

Whenever certain people call Buddie shippers delusional, I think about this. Subtextual language aside, the scenes are shot in such a way as to plant the idea of "More." There is attraction here. There is flirting.

Someone, somewhere wanted to tell this story from the start; and I'm not mad about it. I'm 100% here for it, and I'm ready for it to go down as the most epic love story I've ever watched or read about, but I also admit that I want it to be canon, not so I can throw it in anyone's face that their ship is wrong, but so I can prove I'm not some weirdo putting two hot guys together. I'm seeing a real romance being built. I want that validation as much as I want everyone under the LGBTQ umbrella to see representation for themselves on screen.

If you want to see the scene, go to about 3:05.

[sie-rui]

❀ SISTER, SISTER (REWRITE) | TOKYO REVENGERS 🤍 sano family 💿  female reader, second pov (you/your), angst and fluff, hurt / comfort, family, platonic relationship, implied soulmates, tw: canonical character death, au - canon divergence, timeline: pre-canon (headcanon), timeline: pre-moebius (imagine), headcanon + imagine 📅 july 21, 2021 🎙️ i accidentally deleted this. i had to rewrite… if someone has the original copy, please i beg of you, SEND it to me. i don’t really care if you plagiarized it or something, just give me the copy i beg. I had a breakdown because of this. 🔗 masterlist ,, parts: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05

Sano Shinichiro’s best friend isn’t just his platonic soulmate, they’re also his younger sibling’s older sister.

☆ Sano Shinichiro has a lot of tight-knit relationships (4lifers, some may say), but there is one that everyone unanimously agreed was his closest one.

☆ It was a wonder to some how the two of you become such close companions. To some, after seeing Sano Shinichiro with you, they easily understood.

☆ Meeting in school as his underclassman, it didn’t take long for you to get roped into his gang’s bullshit. It wasn’t that you were an official member but you were definitely someone. Someone to Sano Shinichiro. Someone.

☆ Sano Shinichiro is batshit crazy, especially during his younger years. It just so happened that you were crazy as well.

☆ In high school, you guys were definitely uncontrollable. Whatever Shinichiro did, you tagged along.

☆ As you grew older, the both of you were definitely calmer, outgrowing that childish recklessness the both of you had always shared.

☆ It was love. Not romantically, but it was love. The kind of love that Shinichiro was sure that in some other universe, the two of you were together as well.

☆ When someone tried insinuating that the two of you could start dating each other, the response was instant.

“With this asshole?” “With this bitch?”

☆ Shinichiro wonders if the reason why he’s always getting rejected by girls is because you’re always with him. You scoffed.

“Trust me, it’s not me. They just don’t like you.” “I have a great personality!” “Well your face isn’t that great.”

☆ Once Shin introduced you to his family, it was all over.

☆ Mikey had no reaction to your presence in the house at the start, blatantly ignoring you, giving you dead-eyes. You coddled on him, to his chagrin.

☆ Emma, on the other hand, adored you. To the point that Shinichiro and Manjiro wondered if this was really their sister.

☆ You managed to bribe Mikey with sweets. Not that you needed to because when he saw you picking on Shinichiro, he loved you already.

☆ As much as they want you to be a part of the family officially, they begged you not to marry their brother.

“Honestly, you can do better, Y/n-nee.” “Yeah. Shinichiro isn’t worth it.” “I’m right here?!” “We know.”

☆ Shinichiro thinks that they love you more than they love him. He doesn’t quite mind.

☆ Keisuke is Manjiro’s… friend, if you can even call him that. Mikey beats him up for fun. (In his defense, Baji asks for it.)

☆ It was only when you saw Manjiro literally kick a guy twice his size on the face, knocking them out cold, did you realize that this kid could literally kill you.

“Is Manjiro safe?” “Why are you saying that as if he’s some dog?”

☆ You love the kid, either way.

☆ You’d defend him from whatever happens. But if it’s a fight, you’re dropping out. Fuck no. Mikey can fight for himself. (If anything, you’re the one getting beat up.)

“Y/n-nee, Shinichiro hit me!” “Shin, don’t hit him! That was too hard.” “Why are you taking his side?!” “He brought home snacks for me and you’ve been pissing me off lately.”

☆ It does weird you out how he laughs at horror movies when the four of you watch at home, though. Everyone is screaming. You don’t know if he’s laughing at the gory scene on the television or at everyone’s reaction.

☆ Movie nights with the Sano family start during the afternoon because everyone wants a chance to pick a movie. 

☆ Sometimes, you get suspicious of Shinichiro disappearing randomly. He doesn’t answer your calls, nor his siblings’. When he comes back and you ask him to explain, he just grins at you and ruffles your hair. Asshole.

“It’s a secret.”

☆ MALL DATES WITH THE SANO FAMILY !!!

☆ It was supposed to be shopping with Emma but three people were tagging along, acting as if it was a coincidence, because they wanted attention from you as well.

☆ It would be a bloodbath. Emma wants to go shopping, Shinichiro wants to go to the arcade, Mikey wants to go home, Keisuke wants to go to a pet shop. 

☆ You want to go to the movies. That’s impossible because you’d never get to pick the movie you want to watch.

☆ When you get home, everyone is knocked out tired. After a whole day of complaining and fighting, you didn’t expect anything else. (You were also half-dead on the couch after all.)

☆ You stay over so much at Sano's house that you’re basically a member of that household. Their grandfather doesn’t quite mind.

☆ Their grandfather appreciates your presence in the house. It seems as if it has been livelier with you around. He doesn’t mind the noise.

☆ He  doesn’t quite understand how you can stand his grandchildren. For one, his eldest, Sano Shinichiro is running around, creating a gang and picking fights and getting his ass handed to him. Manjiro started calling himself some name, is addicted to fights, and refuses to learn anything else because apparently he’s going to take over Tokyo or something. Emma is… Well, that child seems to hate everyone. Then, there’s also Mikey’s friend, Keisuke. He doesn’t even have to say anything about that kid.

☆ He finally understood when he saw you laughing as you watched Keisuke and Manjiro get chased by wild dogs.

“She’s just as insane as them.”

☆ He says all of that but he loves all four of his grandchildren.

☆ Sometimes, it felt like you lived in that house more than your own. Shinichiro’s room is yours. (He did not agree to this. You sleep on his bed anyway.)

☆ Emma loves playing with your hair and styling it. She complains that her brothers’ hairs are too short. (That’s part of the reason why Mikey grew his out.)

☆ She also learned cooking from you. Honestly, you don’t know how they survived this long. The only thing Shinichiro can cook is curry and it’s shit.

“Shinichiro’s cooking sucks.” “You brat! Try starving!” “Instead of eating your food? Gladly.”

☆ Shinichiro annoys you to teach him how to cook better as well. Emma told him to get out of her kitchen.

☆ Mikey has this habit of judging people. He will blackmail you even before he learns the word blackmail. Be careful.

☆ Emma also has a bit of judging people, specifically her brothers. More specifically, Shinichiro’s sense of style and Manjiro’s inability to eat anything that isn’t sweet. She says that’s why he’s so stupid, his brain is filled with sugar.

☆ You can tell that the kids love each other so much though. You just hope that they can show that… properly.

☆ Shinichiro loves taking videos of everything, he uses this camcorder that was gifted to him years ago, on his 7th birthday. He has a shelf of tapes in his room. Later down the row, your videos were in the Sano Family Collection.

☆ It’s always noisy at that house. But it’s expected as it is home to five people.

☆ It only became silent when Shinichiro died.

☆ Everything was different after Shinichiro died. 

☆ On the night he died, that was the one night you chose to laugh at him when he asked if you wanted to stay at the shop with him to help fix up Mikey’s birthday gift for tomorrow.

“Hey, Y/n! You better be there for Mikey’s birthday tomorrow.” “How could I not go to my favorite Sano’s birthday?” “I thought that I was your favorite Sano- Don’t laugh!” “Goodnight, Shin.”

☆ Manjiro called you an hour later; that was your last conversation with Shinichiro.

☆ Of course, it hurt you. How could it not? Almost ten years of your life was spent with him, from high school until adulthood. He was family. He was someone. He was Shinichiro.

☆ Sometimes, it felt like a part of you died with him that night.

☆ But you had to be strong. Mikey and Emma were lost, confused, and they were looking at you. How could you show them that you didn’t feel like yourself anymore?

☆ You put on a smile, hardened yourself, and took care of them. They were your kids as much as they were Shinichiro’s.

☆ You spend the nights crying.

☆ Emma refused to leave your side. She cried when you even tried stepping out of the house’s door.

☆ Mikey never left his room the days that followed Shinichiro’s death. He barely ate, the meals you left outside his door barely eaten. You had to beg him to go out of his room on the day of the funeral. He almost didn’t come.

“Mikey, please. Please. Go see your brother before he has to go. Please, Manjiro.”

☆ You cried outside his door that morning. Begging him.

☆ He came out, eyes red, lips pursed.

☆ The funeral was attended by family, friends, members, people whose lives were changed because of Shinichiro. You find that in funerals, you can see how good of a person the deceased is from the people that visit.

☆ You had no tears left to cry during the funeral, even when people came to pat your shoulder and tell you that he was a good person. You knew that. Shinichiro is a good person. They didn’t have to tell you.

☆ You caught a glance of a boy with light hair standing at the very back. You didn’t recognize him but something was pulling you to him. He left before you could approach him.

☆ The first night after Shinichiro was laid down on his final resting place, you found yourself on the couch in the living room.

☆ That night was the hardest you ever cried for Sano Shinichiro.

☆ The silence was unbearable. 

☆ It took so long to finally stop shedding tears over the dead. When you realized that you stopped crying for him, it made you break down even more.

☆ You couldn’t understand how Mikey and Emma manage to go about their day as if nothing was wrong. How they declined therapy, or seeing someone. 

☆ You never knew that it was because you were right there. They could act as if nothing was wrong because you were still there.

☆ Sometimes, you just want to run away and never look back. To forget about Shinichiro, about Mikey, Emma, their whole bloodline. It was heavy. It was so heavy. But you didn’t.

☆ That was love.

☆ But it was Mikey and Emma who insisted that you take the job offer overseas.

“We’ll be fine here, Y/n-nee.” “Yeah, we’re not babies. We can take care of ourselves just fine.” “Well, I can. Mikey can’t.” “Hey!”

☆ Your eyes were teary when you packed your bags and left, promising them that it would only be for a while, that you’d come back soon.

“They’re at their little meeting.”

You feel the breeze caress your skin, like an old friend greeting you home. Shibuya never changed in the years that you were gone. From their grandfather’s words, it seemed like the Sano siblings didn’t change as well. Seriously, why is the meeting still at night?

You just came back to Japan and the very first place that you went was, of course, home. The Sano Household. Only to find out that the two kids that you were planning to surprise weren't even there.

Their grandfather had welcomed you warmly like you were his own grandchild, telling you that as usual, they were out having a little meeting. You thanked him, leaving your bags, before finding yourself in the cold once more.

You were unofficially officially tasked to drag them home.

Mikey you can understand, but Emma? Why in the world is she hanging out with her brother? In her brother’s meeting? In her brother’s gang meeting? You wondered if starting or being in gangs was in the bloodline. It’s as if the Sano Siblings were destined to trouble, as if they’d get sick if they aren’t fighting something.

You adjust the plastic bag on your wrist. You bought some ingredients for dorayaki, planning on spending the night to make some with the siblings because you know that Manjiro wouldn’t be able to wait until tomorrow.

God, I love these kids too much.

The silence of the night was peaceful.

The silence of the night was broken by bellowing. 

“Who in the world is screaming in the dead of the night?”

You sighed, starting your trek up the steps of Musashi shrine. It wasn’t until midway did you finally start to recognize that voice. “Manjiro?” What the fuck.

Hurrying to the top, the shrine was crowded by rows of black uniforms, young teens in lines looking up at the shrine where the familiar strands of blond stood. You blink.

For a second, you saw Black Dragon. 

For a second, you saw Sano Shinichiro.

You couldn’t help the gasp that left your lips, unheard in the midst of one Sano Manjiro’s yelling. Last you heard, there were barely 10 guys in the Tokyo Manji Gang. To think that that snotty brat who refused to eat anything that isn’t sweet is leading such a huge group, is succeeding in his once little dream.

Manjiro looked like Shinichiro, you realize, standing at the very back.

You shook yourself out of your stupor. No. You refuse to let yourself walk backwards, to let yourself see things that aren’t there, to remember moments long past.

Emma is standing off to the side with a cute girl beside her. At least she didn’t seem to be a part of the gang, wearing civilian clothes that you hoped was keeping her warm. You don’t want her getting sick. You march forward, ignoring the looks sent your way by the members as they try to stop you.

Without a pause, you start matching Manjiro’s screaming just as Emma starts, “Y/n-nee!-”

“Shut the hell up, Sano Manjiro!”

The silence of the night returns.

Wide obsidian eyes stare into your as you stand at the very front, at the bottom of the stairs where Mikey stood. “It is eleven in the fucking evening. Everyone is asleep. None of your members are talking. So tell me, why the fuck are you screaming?!”

There were murmurs behind you. He doesn’t seem to mind, a grin splitting his face, the cold mask he was wearing breaking as he jumps down, skipping steps. “Y/n-nee!”

“We’re going home!”

You step to the side, letting him land on the space where you once were, knowing that you were going to get tackled if you hadn’t dodge. Mikey is unnerved, simply turning around and jumping on you, arm hitting your throat.

Draken looked exasperated, knowing that the President wasn’t going to go back to whatever he was saying and it was up to him to adjourn for the night.

“You’re back!” He looks at the plastic bag. “ARE THOSE FOR DORAYAKI?!”

“Nuh-uh! Go back up there and finish your little club meeting.”

“But Ken-chin-”

“No!”

Mikey pouts as he gets pushed off of you. Ken gives you a thankful look as if you were an angel sent by the heavens to rein their spontaneous boss back. “Let’s go, Emma,” you call to the girl already hurrying over.

“Y/n-”

“No.”

You turn your back to Mikey, grabbing Emma’s hand as she looks at you with wide eyes, a growing smile on her lips. Seriously, screaming at 11 in the evening at a shrine where no one is talking? You worry for Mikey sometimes. 

“Keisuke, you’re invited as well,” you tell the boy in passing, glancing at the blond beside him. “Bring your pretty friend over as well.”

“Y/n-nee, when did you come back?”

You smile at her. “Just now.”

“And you headed straight here?”

Technically, no. You headed home. “Where else would I go if not to you and Mikey?”

It's just that your home is the Sano Family.

[darlingofvalyria]

❝You don't think I can please you?❞

part 05 | we're really in it now, darling

chapter summary:

[ Everything comes ahead at a hedge maze because. . . hedge maze. ]

[ +18 MDNI ] [ 4,517 ] [ series masterlist ] | best friend's brother!aemond targaryen x f!reader, ft. cregan stark x f!reader, aemond x alys rivers

contains— angst, a lil smutty but no full whorishness, ya'll good - i should really put idiots in love as a tag shouldn't i - nsfw: grinding + some sexy, sexy second base lmao - no kingslayers, no rogues, no betas.

a/n— i hope ya'll forgive me. comment, reblog & like at will, mi luvs, mwa!

You don't really know what you were expecting come Sunday. Once you started to 'ehh' 'hmmm' and 'maybe's your way through random moments with Helaena after the radio silence from Aemond— your best friend put her foot down.

"Fuck him," Helaena grumbled. "You've been going to Sunday dinners before he was even born, you are not backing down now."

 You snorted. "That's wildly inaccurate."

"Point still stands. Fuck. Him. You deserve my mother's tiramisu cake. He doesn't get to take that from you." Her eyes widen as if trying to instil her determination into your system via eye contact. "You are not going to let him take that from you."

You nodded. That's at least a point to pro you can stand by. Though she can't cook to save her life— Alicent's words, not yours — the woman sure can bake. It became therapeutic for her, she once said. How measuring ingredients and kneading dough to patiently folding cream after another kept her mind quiet and her hands busy.

"My faith strongly does not advise rage shooting, you know?" Alicent once hummed.

"Did you mean 'range' shooting?"

"Oh?" she nodded absentmindedly, smiling. "Yes, that too."

"That's true," you mused. Tiramisu cake was her mother's specialty. Every Sunday, she has all attendees pack up at least one cake per person and you and Hel usually stave off bites throughout the week until the next Sunday comes.  "I deserve some tiramisu cake, gods be damned it."

"Plus, if you come with me, we'll get two cakes to take home instead of one." She wagged her finger. "We count as two separate entities with one fridge, it's our greatest privilege."

"Daeron calls it preferential treatment."

"I am her only daughter, of course I get preferential treatment."

"As you should, bestie."

Even when you've stopped struggling with choosing if you were going or not, your mind is never faraway from thinking about Aemond. You wonder if he's finally gotten back with Alys was a bad train of thought, while an even worse train of thought is how soft his lips were and how he holds your hair to pull you close when his tongue glides across your bottom lip.

You blink, shaken from the thought. Bad. Bad brain. Stop it.

And repeat. At this point, it was safer to think about Alys and Aemond.

According to previous cycles, by this point they'd be at the height of their newly blossomed relationship— all sweet kisses and heated looks, unable to stop touching each other much less act a little bit better when they're trying to leave a group function to fuck their brains out — so you wouldn't be surprised to see come Sunday that he arrives with Alys— both of them tall, gorgeous with just enough undertone of smirky, smarmy tension that would make you want to stab your own eye out — pointedly ignoring you or whatever happened between you and him.

It hurt to think about sure, but what else did you think was going to happen?

That call made a space the size of a puddle that turned into a lake, welled deep with unresolved feelings and untouched topics. More questions than answers, drawing lines both of you were too scared to tug and see.

It's big enough to notice, and both stubborn enough not to anything about it.

You tried. Well, you almost did. In the weird hours of the day when your brain and body are more physically disjointed so rationality gives way to adrenaline. Most of the time, this is during working hours. You, checking your phone, running around his profile with your thumb a few times, biting your lip as your mind blanks and your body fights to call him. Or leave a message.

Before your mind and body reconnects and you fling your phone as far away from you as possible.

It's weird. You've never fought with Aemond before. If this was considered fighting. You've been disappointed in him, gotten angry and annoyed with him, but someone always, always offers an olive branch.

Every time you think about that call, you close up, your annoyance flares, and you shove your phone away.

In your amicable defense, this was primarily his problem. You weren't truly dating. He made it clear every choice he was making was en toward the agreed conditions were of making his ex jealous enough to take him back, yada yada yada.

Even if, possibly, you wanted more, he made no actual steps to make it known that he was considering it too.

Funny stares on your lips don't count. The only sabbatical from sexual adventures Aemond got were the breakup round with Alys, and as established before, they got it on pretty frequently.

Another thought bubble about Aemond's lips pops in your head, the mint from his toothpaste and the coffee from his black with no sugar, no milk, the way he seemed to suckle on your sighs—

Gods. Damn. It.

Focus.

That last call?

You're a grown ass woman. You're allowed to do whatever you want with whomever you want, and you're not going to make Aemond Targaryen's steely silence of what— disappointment? Of your choices? Of your choice in Cregan Stark and Cregan Stark Jr? Of what you were doing? Sure he was faithful to the Seven, a good old religious boy raised by his momma, but it doesn't make him a saint. Just because he's clinging to the vestiges of first love thinking it could very well be his last doesn't make him holy, or warrant enough to judge you for getting your little you some good dick.

Life is hard. Good dick is hard to come by!

So. Yeah. Days leading up to Sunday was radio silence and way too many thoughts circling your head like vultures, eating away at logic and rationality, and stubbornly still, you refused to make contact. If it's not out of pride, it's out of hurt.

Because he could apologise, but Aemond wasn't known for his apologies.

But then you remembered the flowers, the tulips, and now you just felt sad. Moping, getting annoyed, and trying to get through work without breaking your phone speeds the week in a blur.

Come Sunday afternoon, Helaena was coming to pick you up from her shift at the vet— the beauty of having a vet bff is the Russian roulette of pictures; you never know if you're about to get cuddly new patients with big, sad eyes and pouty snouts or her newest c-section win without any attempts of a blur — so you could get to her mother's house together, you decided to go for the nines with your outfit.

A sweet summer dress later, some gold gladiator sandals half off from your favourite but largely can't afford shoe boutique that you swear you were always going to wear to make up for the insane price (thank the gods Alicent didn't have a no shoe policy because it takes fifteen minutes to get them on and you cannot be on the floor, on her house, with Aemond around, rolling around like a hot potato on the entry way trying to get a fucking shoe on), dusted and prepped in you're fancier version of makeup, and was just finishing off your hair— using the good mousse whilst blaring Disney epics — when knocking came.

You freeze.

On one hand, it could just be Helaena, forgetting her keys again somewhere as she had done so numerous times before, but there hadn't been a slew of expletives or her impression of a cool, clinical voice saying, ''Tis I, the Stranger, have come for thee soul! Open up I gotta pee, woman!' so you got a pretty good guess on the alternative, sending your heart into a stutter and get smacked with a well deep of yearning.

You miss Aemond. You miss hanging out with him, even just having him on video call whilst you prepped a late dinner and he's working out his thesis defense, too late for either of you, but catching another's eye in the tiny phone and sharing a comforted grin. You miss being called my lady in a language that means so much to him, miss bumping shoulders and smelling his crisp scent of cologne and laundry.

Miss his lips, his very soft, very delicious lips—

"Gods damnit, woman, keep it together," you murmur to yourself. Another series of knocks, ever patient, and you're moved by body not mind as breathless giddiness yanks the door open—

Only to fall flat.

"Oh." You can't hide your disappointment at the curly blond with the smirk for centuries. "Aegon. I didn't know it was you."

"Yes, the expressive disappointment in your eyes could bring a man on the edge to his downfall, I must say," he jokes hoarsely, a little hurt. "Not even a hi Aeg. I've missed you Aeg, or— hey Aeg! You look good enough to eat!"

It's Aegon. Not Aemond. Or Helaena. Helaena and Aemond's older brother, Aegon. Party rocking, cocaine hiding, sweat and someone's lipstick smelling Aegon. You like him despite his whorishness because he's funny, because he's sweet when he wants to be, and he always, always gets you a funny mug when he comes back from wherever he came from.

You blink a couple of times, laughing awkwardly as you give him a quick hug. He still smells the same, with the lightest tint of sun in him from his days at the beach not so long ago no doubt.

"Sorry, sorry. Hi Aeg, I've missed you Aeg, and yes, you do look good enough to eat, Aeg."

He hugs back tighter, smothering you in the denim jacket he's wearing and the curly edge of his white blond hair. He's got a new piercing and smells of new perfume.

"So do you, princess," he says as you step back and he appraises you appreciatively. "Those shoes can step on me any time."

"I will never."

"You will never," he says chirpily, moving back with a teasing grin. "Let me guess, you were waiting for my uglier version to come by and got too overwhelmed by the majesticness of me."

'"Majesticness isn't even a word." You snort. "And Aemond is not your uglier version, you don't look that alike."

He raises an eyebrow as you blink. Fuck. "Dear me oh my, I meant Helaena, babe. When did Aemond get into the mix?"

You shove his shoulder, huffing as you pick up your keys and bag, forcing him to step back as you lock the apartment, trying to give yourself grace from his burning, teasing stare. "As if Helaena didn't tell you." You finally turn to him, lips pursed at his faux innocent pout. "Helaena tells you everything."

"She might have mentioned a thing or two about a thing or two." He bumps your hip as you both get into the elevator. "Imagine my surprise when Lae-lae tells me of a wondrous development between her two favourite people that involved a breakup, some gift-giving shenanigans, and kissing." He gasps dramatically as you groaned. "I leave for what— a month or two and suddenly you and Aemond are making out? Babe, I must say, you're doing the tongue tango with the wrong brother."

 "He's not the wrong brother, also the tongue tango? Really?" you snap suddenly. The wrong brother comments always irk you because you understand that it's a sensitive issue to Aemond, as well as Aegon himself.

But it's a bait you realise too late because Aegon Targaryen enjoys hauling truths from people in steps and tricks, uncaring if he takes a stab or two to get there as you meet his gaze against the reflective wall, positively smirking.

"Really now?"

"Why are you even picking me up? I thought you were in Oldtown."

"Already sorted. Hel wanted to make sure you get there in time, she's going to be late... After all your earlier ride backed out didn't he?"

Your mouth pursed, annoyance prickling at your edges as the elevator pulled into the lobby. "I don't want to talk about it, where's your car?"

He whistles, languid and all the time in the world on his shoulders with just the hint of smug. "It's a thirty minute ride, babe, you're going to spill."

You shoot him a withering glare. "Not if I have say in it." For emphasis, you yank his door and slam it. Fuck his new Maserati.

"Mature!"

Thirty minutes is more than ample time for Aegon Targaryen to weed his way into your brain like the worst case of earworm (like a stupid ass commercial jingle that just. Won't. Stop) that by the time you reach his mother's, you were ranting.

"—like I get it, saying I'm going out with another guy to get some good dick after confirming that we're going to your mother's for Sunday as a date is bad, but we're not really dating! He said so himself! He pressed the issue of it not being a real thing! And he didn't attempt any—"

"— any communication at all," Aegon echoes, stretching his legs as he stood. "Not a sorry or anything."

"Anything!" you bolster, slamming his door again that is less about him and more about the aggressiveness. "I know that he's bad at apologising, or facing things that are hard, choosing to stew in it and act all shitty to people, I just... I thought he'd at least tell me. Doesn't that warrant our friendship?"

"Hm. Ever think that's precisely why he struggles with you?"

"What does that even mean?"

"That he cares about you, so he struggles more with expressing himself."

You turn to him, cocking your head. "When did you get so wise, oh Gandalf?"

"A Seven focused rehab facility can do that to you," he muses wistfully. "There was this nun that says verses when she orgasms."

You make a face. "Love the fun fact."

"You're welcome. But back to point, isn't the issue also the fact that you never tried to make contact with him either?"

"Well. Yeah. Because..."

Aegon squints at you sympathetically. "Because you're scared of rocking the boat because of how much you like him?"

"Not, well," you hesitate. "Not like that precisely..."

"How much you're capable of liking him?" Aegon smiles wryly. "You had a crush on him, I remembered that at least. When Hel first introduced you to him, you couldn't stop teasing him until he lit up like a Christmas tree. I knew you liked him since then. You called him pretty half the time, and I started to realise it was less about his reaction but how you actually see him, and speaking as the naturally cherub, pretty boy of the family, I find this highly, highly offensive."

You pinch his cheeks, wounding your arm over his shoulder. Aegon was built like a linebacker with less muscles that aren't postern, with wide shoulders and a strong body that's too easy to lean against.

"You're pretty too, Aeg," you coo. "But he's just..."

 "If you say ethereal, I will vomit right in my mother's petunias." He makes a face. "How about this. The problem is that you think Aemond doesn't like you back."

You frown at him. "I know Aemond doesn't like me back."

"Oh, sweetie," Aegon coos, sympathy and pity swirling in his smug, smug smile. "I'm so glad you're pretty."

You pinch his sides until he squirms. "Fuck you, what the hell?"

"What I'm saying is, let's test that, you know? Because that's the only variable you aren't sure with?"

You sigh. "Aeg, even if he does, I'm not going to pounce—"

The door swings open, and there he is, of pretty boy face and good boy posture because his mother raised herself a good, devout boy who doesn't know what a slouch is because he's not an ape— and is he wearing his leather jacket? Of course he's wearing the leather jacket and you know that smell, that spiced cologne with the leather and his natural scent and fuck, Aemond is looking at you, looking at his brother, and the open expression, the shock, that smidge of relief— shutters to an icy politeness.

Aegon because he's Aegon, pulls you closer, his mouth curling into a grin that only says trouble, forcing Aemond to straighten up his already perfect posture in preparation for whatever his brother has in mind and his stare is white-hot on the conjoined appendages between you and his brother— and Aegon lands a wet, smacking kiss on your cheekbone.

"Had to pick up your girl, baby bro, I mean what kind of—" his blue gaze finds his mother descending the stairs, peering out to see on who it was, and you're frozen, waiting for the bomb to drop and simultaneously unprepared for it, "— boyfriend has his brother pick up his girl? Good thing you got a good excuse, huh? Oh, hey mother dearest! Your favourite son has come back!"

As Aegon leaves your side with a cheeky little wink, you bit your lip at the frosty look on his face that makes you feel like an absolute idiot and fills you with rage all in one go. Because Aemond has never looked at you like that, like you were at fault and acting like a child, but that you also want to jut a finger against his chest.

"Did you have a nice talk with him on the drive over?" he says, jaw hard.

"I didn't tell him," you hiss, taking the hem of his leather jacket instead of his hands enough so you can pretend to kiss his cheeks because his mother is right there, eyes wide at that two of you as Aegon gave you a discreet thumbs up.

"Helaena did. Get over yourself, your mother's—"

 "Aemond?"

As he freezes and Alicent calls your name, you plaster the best smile you can make as you twine your fingertips with his.

"Smile."

"Hm."

When you leave his side to greet Alicent, you make sure to stomp on his stupid shoes.

As soon as you've finished your mandatory greetings— even with Otto Hightower, Aemond's grandfather, who merely raised his eyebrows at the apparent new status of you and his grandson, Alicent having to blink multiple times, wrangling positives as she kept shooting her son looks while he stood like a block of ice behind you — Aemond takes your hand by his own volition, tangles your fingers too tight, and starts tugging you along like a bouy.

"Are you a child?" you hiss, trying to pry your hand as insistently without outright yanking, Alicent already sending you both concerned looks at a news that she called 'oh, that is wonderful!'

"I am younger than you," he murmurs back, holding you tight.

"Oh, fuck you."

With a defeated huff, you take longer, heavier strides and stomps so you're the one dragging him.

It's all illusion of control built on pettiness because you're still being navigated, it's more just pride at this point, but you don't care, and when he scoffs right back, you felt at least a pinch of a win.

And then he, of course, matches your strides so fucking easily.

"Freaking horse-legged motherfucker," you mumble. You don't know if he catches it, or you're imaging the soft, surprised noise that's both a snort and a laugh.

He winds you around the hallway, an unbreakable trajectory to the backyard, dragging you past an easy eye view from the dramatic, floor to ceiling windows and trespassing straight into the hedge maze because of course they had one of those.

"Really? Here?"

"Do you want to be ogled up by my mother?" he says in a nauseatingly chipper voice. "Is that what you and Aegon are planning with all this, hm?"

You twist out of his grip, walking deeper on your own until your eyes are swallowed by the darkness. When you turn to him, your eyes adjust, only seeing the silver of his hair, so different from his black leather jacket and dark green jumper. You don't see his expression or his sharp gaze.

"Planned this? Seriously? Nothing since coming here had been planned, Aemond," your voice has bite and if your eyes had adjusted faster, or if you could see better, you would see the flinch he makes, "if it had been, this certainly would be the last of my fucking choices. Or do I have to remind you of the fact that we were supposed to go together? Oh right, things change when you drop a call out of fucking nowhere!"

"I—fuck." He moves around, a hand through his hair as exhales in frustration. "I didn't... think you'd want to go with me. That Sunday plans had been cancelled."

"And you didn't think to message? I mean it's not like we're friends in literally every social media." You try not to sound hurt before taking a deep breath, offering your palms up. "I didn't—don't even know what the issue is, Aemond. Were you so offended that I was sexually active that you just had to rudely drop the call and not talk—"

It's maybe the darkness, or intuition but you can bet half yours savings that Aemond Targaryen is blushing.

"It... gods, no it's not... I wasn't offended that you were sexually active," he says softly, evenly. He clears his throat. "I don't... mind that you're... sexually active. I actively... support it. Even." He coughs. Swallows. Curses.

If you don't feel like your heart is pounding in your throat you would have laughed. You had never seen the boy this flustered before that it's affecting his words, because Aemond has always been the most well spoken person you know.

"Is it about Cregan? Do you have something against Cregan?"

His eye flutter close. "No... and yes."

"I don't understand, Aemy," you whisper, defeated.

He sighs. In the dark, you notice a movement. His hands flex. It's a habit he's had since you've known him. It's instinct. The way you reach out, finding a piece of his leather jacket until you find your way to his hands, running your fingers over the bones and ridges, his sinew and skin. There are callouses from his fencing, running your thumb over his knuckles.

He's frozen first before he sighs, melting through the warmth you share with him.

 "I have nothing against Stark," he finally says. "It's the fact that you were still having sex with him that I found unfair." He steps closer until you can see his face better, the struggle in him can be told through the furrow in his brows and the press of his pillowy lips, red and wet as if he had bitten through it. "I... understand that we're not really together, but I couldn't... not feel as if it wasn't right. As if I wanted it to be me."

His hands finds your arms, eye closing and gently placing his forehead against your own. At first you panic, your body trying to make your brain decide do you like this or not but it's Aemond, and he's warm, gentle, sweet almost. It's familiar and new at the same time. It's warmth you recognise, skin you will know anywhere, but in a way that you've never felt him before.

You close your eyes and breathe with him.

You know that this is rare. That this Aemond is reserved for people he loves and cares about, but with his forehead against yours, with his hands holding you steady, rubbing a comforting thumb over your skin that felt just as for him as it was for you, breathing you in and exhaling you out. A single breath between two bodies.

"I don't know if I can agree to that, Aemy."

"What?" He pulls back, hurt pulling taunt your favourite pair of lips. "Do you like Cregan more? You don't think I can please you?"

"That's not—"

His hands closes on your face, cupping it in his palms as you stare, wide-eyed at the blue fire lit up in his eye. His breath brushes your lips, making them tingle.

"Push me away if you don't want it," he says before his eye closes and he takes your mouth against his own, swallowing your gasp then pulling you away again, eye glinting.

"Push me away, ñuha riña." His voice is so soft, words crisp while your body thrummed in a single, frantic heartbeat. When you don't move, too shock, thoughts tangled, he smirks.

With his teeth, he captures your bottom lip, grazing it. When he feels you shudder, eyes fluttering, he chuckles meanly.

"Push me away as if you don't want me." He tilts your chin up as he looks down on you, eye confident in its lust. His thumb brushes your bottom lip. "As if you don't feel everything I do."

"Fuck you," you manage to exhale as you grab the back of his head and devour him just as you did at the restaurant. He groans, using his other hand to feel your side, pass your one breast, giving it a firm squeeze that makes you gasp, tongue clashing, legs tangling as you push and push and he pulls you to him, his back hitting the prickly hedge. It's teeth and tongue, breaths twisted in one air as you used each other like lifelines, like enemies in a swords match.

It's feverish and passion, infuriating want that gives. Because when you dominate the kiss, tangling his tongue with your own, yanking him down and down as if you want him to reach every part of you inside, he bends and follows. And when he pulls you, tangles your hair and takes every gasp and breath, you surrender.

He groans when you suck on his bottom lip, pulling away just enough to spit out, "You taste so much better than my dreams." His mouth moves down and down, leaving a path of heat as he suckles at your neck, practically ripping the buttons of the top of your dress as he slides down and grunts in pain.

"A-Aemy?" Your eyes flutter. "Your back, shit—"

"Fuck that." He tugs you down until you land with an oomph! on his lap, your chest at his eye level before he drags them back to your gaze. "Tell me to stop."

You shake your head, tangling your fingers in his hair. "No."

"Good."

Your back arches, supported in his hold, as he starts sucking the skin lower and lower, another hand massaging your tit that pools hot down your core until his hand, warm and solid, sinew and bone, and Aemond Aemond Aemond, slides between your bra and cups your breast and his hand is so big, and it feels so good that you start grinding on the hard length you feel right at your—

An ear-splitting shriek freezes the both of you. You and Aemond pull back, hand still on your tit.

"Wha—"

"Ew, ew, ew! Mom said you were fighting! FIGHTING DOES NOT EQUATE FUCKING IN THE MAZE, YOU FUCKING CLICHES!"

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