#you can disagree with some of her lifestyle choices

[diamondseaside]

it’s so wild when i see people say they think taylor’s a shitty person with their whole chest… she’s quite literally one of the kindest most genuine celebrites especially for someone at her level yall just be making shit up

[scar-lie]

No One's Savior [Natasha]

Summary : Life is cruel, God gives you the life you wonder if you deserve, a life were you have no one and have to stand up by your own feet

Pairing : Natasha Romanoff x Fem ! Reader

Warning : Being tortured, blood, death, crying

World Count : 2,777

No one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.

"Please, Nat, let's go play around,” you beg her while following her down the stairs. Their mom adopted you a year ago, seeing you in the street trying to make amends to feed yourself and survive another day in the street.

“Your mom said we could play or bike around, please? ”You give her puppy eyes that you know she can't say no to.

"Fine, fine,” she groans, but you jump on happiness and quickly drag her to the garage to get yours and her bike around the neighborhood.

You smile while biking side by side; you never imagine your life will be like this. I mean, you grow up on the street with no one, stealing people’s food, money, clothes, or anything else you can use to exchange for some money.

You were 6 years old when you learned how to steal things, but when you reach the age of 9, you steal something from Melina, but she catches you. She's hesitant at first to get you arrested or put you in the system, but you beg her to let you go, and that's when she decided to adopt you right there and then, and now it's been a year since that day.

Sure, you try to run away after a few days of staying with them, but after a few days away from them, you realize that it's much better to live with them and their strict rules, and you push yourself to adapt to their lifestyle. 

At first, Melina's daughters disagree, but with the command of their father, they don't have a choice but to accept it, so they try to get to know you until they accept you and become friends with them.

Even though Melina didn't get the papers for you to be their legal daughter by law, they still treat you like family, and you're happy to be a part of their family.

But Yelena’s sister, Natalia, is the one who makes you stay with them; she's kind, caring, and looking out for you, even if she tries to hide it.

She also catches your eyes, which makes you want to look at those emerald eyes forever. It's mesmerizing you where you sometimes zone out.

But the happy life quickly washed away when Melina and Alexei took the three of you to the Red Room. You thought it would be fine, but once they took you away, you knew that the happy life you had was now over.

“I don't want to be here, Nat,” you whisper, whimpering in the middle of the night, where only you and Nat are awake. Yelena, beside your bed, is sound asleep.

“It's ok, shh,” Nat whispers to you and reaches out to touch your face and wipe your tears. She wants to hug you and cradle you, but the handcuffs on her right hand are preventing her from doing it.

“We will get out, I promise. I’ll get you out of here. Now stop crying,” she whispered, and you nodded and made yourself comfortable.

“Promise? ”She nodded, smiling at you while she squeezed your hand.

“I promise,” she whispers, then kisses the back of your hand.

You sigh in relief, finding a safe place and comfort in the Red Room after everything you've been through for over 9 years. She still provides you comfort and a safe place, and you already fall for her, and so does she. Even though she won't admit it, she still loves you deep inside.

As long as she's here with you, you'll be okay at the end of the day. Even if your foot will bleed again from ballet, you killed someone, or they give you a punishment, you know you will be okay, and you've been holding on to Nat’s promise over the years that someday you three will be free.

But again, you should have learned the first time that not everything will stay the way it is and that promises—as someone says—are meant to be broken, and they are right.

Promise really meant to be broken, like how Natalia broke hers, how she just left you behind those bars, locked up, begging her to let you come with her.

"Natalia, please don't…don't leave me here.” You begged her when she turned around to leave this place and start her new life.

"Nat, please, I don't want to be here anymore. Please let me come with you, please.” You cry out for her, so she turns around again and puts her hands on your cheeks while she tries not to cry like you, and she smiles at you.

“I’ll come back for you, I promise... I will be back, ok? ”She whispered, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“No, no, please, Nat.” You grip her wrist, not letting her go, but she forces herself to get her wrist back and turns around.

“NAT NO…PLEASE….YOU PROMISED…NATALIA,” you scream, bagging the metal bars and watching her walk away from your sight until she's gone, so you drop on your knees and cry to yourself.

You just wish that you didn't make a little mistake on your ballet so you wouldn't be here in this cell alone, that maybe you're now with Natasha getting out of here.

But you still hold on to another promise, the promise she didn't—again—fulfill, and you're so stupid to believe that she will come back for you.

If you have a thought past in the RedRoom, now your life in there is hell. Since Natalia escaped, they put more security, they doubled the training, and you—your life has become hell.

Why? Since she escaped, you've become the target of everyone. When you were sleeping, they tried to suffocate you. Since the handcuffs are now gone, they can do whatever they want.

They even beat you up, and for the high staff of the Red Room, gosh, they also give you a hard time. They believe that you know the whereabouts of Natalia, so they tortured you.

Drown you, beat you up, hand you up with your hands tied up on your back, and do everything they can to break you, but since you didn't say anything, they turned you into one of the greatest black widows on your program.

And since then, you hate Natalia; you blame her for everything that had happened to you, so you become, though, a cold-hearted person and a killer machine. Dreykov wants

“Uhuh…you're ready! ”He smirked, standing on his chair behind his long table, where you were standing in front of him, emotionless. 

“You've become the greatest widow I can imagine! ”He then lights up his tobacco and goes around his table and to your back, whispering in your ear.

“One of my pride and joy,” he giggled to himself, then went in front of you and sat on his table. 

“What do you think about a mission—a highly top mission, huh? ”He then took a folder, looking inside to see if it's the file he's talking about.

“I’m gladly accepting whatever mission needs to be done, sir,” you said in monotone, so he gave you the folder, and you took it.

“That's what I wanted about you; no second guessing,” he says, smirking and urging you to open up and take a look at the mission he's given you.

When you read what it is, your heart stops for a few seconds, a feeling you didn't know you would be feeling again, but thanks to the training you had, you cover it up pretty well, and then you close the folder and look at Dreykov.

“I will not let you down, sir.” 

“That's what I wanted to do here; no, go and prepare.” With that, you get out of his office and go get the things you need for the mission, to kill Natalia.

“Update to everybody? ”Steve said on the coms while he brought down four guards of the Red Room.

“Clint, east wing”

“Tony, east sky.”

“Thor, at the Helipad.”

“Lower ground in the north, Wanda.”

“Top south, Clint.”

Everybody took their update, but Nat and Steve's hearing nothing makes him worried about the redhead—not that he didn't trust her and her abilities, but still, that's his teammates in the field, fighting. 

“Nat, update? ”He reminded her, and after a few minutes, she replied.

"Underground.” Then Steve nodded to himself and went back to fighting the enemy.

“Augh! ”Natasha then coughs up the dust when she tries to open the locked gate of one of the cells in the underground. 

“I think there's no one here,” she mumbles to herself, and when she turns around and walks a few steps to go back up, there's a sound, coming to the end of the hallway, a cough. It's not audible since she's far from the source, but she's a spy, and her senses are highly activated every time.

So she quickly took her gun out, pointed to the hallway in case someone suddenly jumped on her, and slowly and carefully walked towards the sound.

Then she pointed her gun inside when she finally got to the last cell at the end of the hallway, seeing a woman tied up in the chair, blood and deep, superficial wounds littering all over her body.

She quickly put her gun down and slowly but surely walked closer, but once she's close enough to see her body up close, she freezes, seeing the birthmark on her shoulder. 

“Y/N? ”You then scoff, recognizing her voice—the same voice you've despise the most, the same voice you wanted to get revenge on.

"Natalia,” you look up at her eyes—the same eyes you've adored for years, the same eyes that gave you comfort and a safe place before, but now? Now all you see and feel is her broken promises and the betrayal she has done.

When you look into those eyes for the past few months, all you see is you being tortured over and over again. You wanted her to feel the same way you felt.

You wanted to kill her with your bare hands, but every time you tried to, she dodged it. She always fought back. She will always be greater than you.

That's why you're here now, bleeding to death because you can't kill her, so Dreykov chooses to slowly kill you, making sure to make you feel how unworthy and a failure you are that you couldn't kill the black widow herself.

“What are you waiting for, huh? ...You can now kill me,” you snarl at her. Your left eye is blurry because of the swelling and bruise, and your eyes are bleeding, making it harder to open your eye.

“No, don't say that…” Natasha quickly put her gun to her holster and kneeled in front of you, inspecting every inch of your body, making her shudder in horror.

“What have they done to you? ”She looks up at your eyes; her eyes are glistening with tears, not wanting to cry in front of you, but once you see the pity in her eyes, you scoff.

“Don’t act like you don't like what you're seeing.” You then cough up blood, making you feel even weaker than before.

“Wh-what? What are you talking about? ”She's worried that seeing coughing up blood makes her blood run cold.

“It breaks me seeing you like this,” she then proceeds to untie you while, deep inside her, she's panicking.

“You don't have to pretend like you fucking care! ”You weakly growl, getting angry at the moment.

“I do, I do care, my love, I do,” she firmly said, looking up at you. Her eyes say it all, and now tears run down her cheek, but you don't have anything in you to believe her, maybe because you already learned your lesson and don't want to be fooled once again.

“Really? Then why did you leave me here? Huh? ”Natasha, swallow the lump on her throat and go back, untying you to avoid the question.

“Why didn't you come back like you promised? ”And since your body weight is all forward, Natasha caught you when your limp body got freed from the restraint.

“I waited for you, like a fucking dog waiting for their master to come back! You betrayed me! ”She then put you down, taking you on her lap.

“And don't you fucking dare call me'my love'? I’m not the same person you once knew! ”You spat; you wanted to push her or get out of her arm—the same arms that calm you down—but now it feels like burning.

“Shhh…. You'll be OK. I promise. I’m here now…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She sniffs and wipes away her tears while she caresses your cheek, and then again you cough more blood.

“No, you're not fucking sorry, and we both know your promise meant nothing! If it's not, you should have gotten me out of here the first time, like you promised! ”She hugged you while tears streamed down her face.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Y/N, I’m sorry,” she keeps chanting while your breathing is shallow and you're slowly losing consciousness, and Natasha notices it.

“No, Y/N, don't close your eyes... Please...” She quickly taps her intercoms to send someone to her.

“Wanda, Tony, Steve, anybody, I need back up ASAP.” She then keeps tapping your cheeks to keep you awake.

“Hang on, my love... You're going to be okay; just keep your eyes open, please. I'm not going to leave you. Again, just please...keep your eyes open,” she whispered, beg caressing your cheek like she did before.

“You know that I fucking hate you?”She gasped, hearing it from your own mouth.

“I fucking want to hurt you…..I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me. I want to make you feel what they have done to me! ”You look up at her eyes, tears streaming down both sides of your faces.

“Because you fucking left me here alone! ....I begged you…I called out for you. I even waited for you to come back…but you never came…you didn't fulfill your promises. Instead, you turned your back on me. You left and left me here alone, suffering.” You put your hand on top of her cheek and squeezed it the best you could.

“I was scared, Natalia. I’m scared, and you're not there anymore…I’m always scared” You put all of your strength on your hand to take her hand, move it to your lips, kiss her palm, and put it back on your cheek, squeezing it.

“I know… I know, and I’m sorry, my love….I’m sorry I left you behind….I’m sorry. I didn't mean to leave you, I didn't mean to.” She cries out, and you smile at her, a genuine smile you never did for over a year, but Natasha quickly panics when you close your eyes and your hand drops.

“No…no no no…please dekta…open your eyes…please I’m begging you…open your eyes” she tried…she tried to wake you up but you didn't show any sign of waking up, and now every second the warmth of your body is fading and thinking of them makes her wanna die too, instead she hugged and rocked you back and forth while she cried, savoring the warmth of your body that she knows she'll never feel again.

“I’m so sorry, my love,” she whispers, putting her cheek on yours, and that's when Wanda barges into the room, worried.

“Nat? ”Wanda stopped on her track, hearing and seeing Nat cry.

“What happened? ”She slowly walks towards her and keeps a distance to give Natasha some space.

It broke Wanda seeing her like this; she knows her as a tough, wise, and smart woman who never shows any weaknesses or lowers her ground, but now that Wanda sees her at her lowest, it breaks her.

“She's gone,” Natasha chokes at her own words. It hurts to admit it and get it out of her own mouth that you're gone. She knows she has to accept it whether she likes it or not

A.N : guys I made a video of this one shot, anyone wants to see it?

[shorthaltsjester]

if i ever have to see another thought piece on the description of the white picket fence outside of fjord and jester’s place in mighty nein reunited indicating jester’s unhappiness in the relationship i will burn the world to the ground.

a) heteronormativity doesn’t exist in exandria !

b) fjord isn’t your Typical Male Love Interest Guy. if i ever have to read someone say that shit again i’m gonna (correctly) assume they haven’t paid attention at all to campaign 2 and any of fjord’s character arc.

c) perhaps, jester lavorre, woman who was raised on the ideology of romance novels and sexuality as exchange, might just find it uh… not a terrible thing that the white picket fence is falling apart outside since… fjord explicitly does Not feel like those romance novels to her, instead he feels comfortable. the way that a brightly painted but rarely used house might, especially when the couple in question spends most of their time adventuring together… which is an essential part of jester’s motivations throughout the campaign.

d) the reason fjord and jester seem unhappy in the reunion might be because, well, uh, whereas everyone else was getting a “vacation”, jester and fjord’s life together (specifically the fact that Fjord Loves Jester Enough To Risk The World (Momentarily) To Save Her) was the inciting action for an apocalyptic demigod being released - they Were unhappy. who wouldn’t be given those circumstances. jester nearly died, and fjord felt like the god that once saved him had now abandoned him, i am so truly sorry that their romance was not satisfactory for your vision of atypical romance (which, by the way, is literally reinforcing the restrictive romantic tropes you think you’re criticizing, so good job i guess). i would be much, much more concerned if jester and fjord Weren’t clearly dismayed.

e) both fjord and jester are individuals whose entire lives and character are defined by the expectation (both external and internal) that they behave and emote a certain way. that they’re in a relationship with someone who they feel that they can show that they are frustrated with or disagree on the layout of their house with or have different ideas on how to deal with the looming threat of a demigod is incredible. jester and fjord are emblematic of a relationship in which the characters Aren’t meant to be, but they Want to be together and they want to understand and support the other person so they work at it. we wouldn’t have conversations like “you seem disheartened..” “i am very disheartened! you almost died!” if they didn’t take the time and care to communicate with one another.

f) if you want a honeymoon era joyful queer romance, yasha and beau are right there! they are explicitly horny and in love and bright about it! if queerness is your measure of “trope breaking” i am very sorry to tell you that queer people partake in white picket fences, and i’d actually argue that in terms of Lifestyle Metaphor, beauyasha are more adherent to the whitepicket fence, nuclear familyism. this isn’t a detriment to them, just, very literally, beau works a 9-5 where she comes back to her housewife who gardens and cooks dinner and their future includes explicit reference to children. comparatively, fjord wants to address some issues in his past, jester is an artist, and both of them are interested in adventure for the foreseeable future.

g) if you truly think that a single part of laura’s description of the part-time abode of fjord and jester overrides every interaction and choice that both laura and travis make towards fjord and jester caring for each other in a deep and meaningful way that goes beyond the weird fandom constructed Man/Woman characters being portrayed by a married couple i truly, Truly have no idea why you even watch the many hours of content that cr is when you could… play/write your own shit.

[rerinko]

On the History of the Term Compulsory Heterosexuality

The history of the term compet started in a 1980 essay written by feminist lesbian author Adrienne Rich entitled “Compulsory Heterosexuality and the Lesbian experience”. In this essay I believe she lays out a lot of amazing points and really puts in the groundwork for the term compulsory heterosexuality. It has been over 40 years since her original essay was written and while I think a lot of points still stand the time, some I have a hard time agreeing with.

One of the main contentions I have with Adrienne Rich’s is how she frames lesbianism. I do agree that lesbianism is inherently anti patriarchy because we are the only sexuality to not center men in any way. To some extent I can understand the argument that lesbianism is inherently political. The same way I believe my existence as a Jewish is also a political statement. After thousands of years of genocide we then Jewish people are still here. The same can be said about any group that has experienced genocide. But I don't identify as Jewish as a political statement. I AM Jewish and that is the political stamens. She also believes we shouldn't use the term “lesbianism” as a stigmatized clinical term. Nevertheless I disagree with the notion that you can also identify as a lesbian as a political statement. As of late there have been many movements to decenter men. The main one coming to mind as of late is the 4B movement. The 4B movement started in Korea and the 4Bs are the 4 things they agree to never do with men. Bi or 비 means no in this context.

비섹스 Biseksu - No sex with men

비출산 Bichulsan - No having kids with men

비연애 Biyeonae - No dating men

비혼 Bihon - No marrying men

You can choose not to center men in your life while still being straight or bisexual. My identity as a lesbian and my lack of attraction to men exists outside of the patriarchy. I find it really demeaning and belittling to the lesbian experience to say people who are attracted to men can choose to be a lesbian or adopt that title because of lifestyle choices they made. This idea of the lesbian continuum where every woman experiences or that lesbianism is an extension of feminism I can't agree with. I feel like we do all share a sisterhood as a result of being victims of the patriarchy but I don't believe that is lesbianism or the correct term to refer to that. She says that people can exist on the lesbian continuum without wanting to ever touch another woman’s genitals and I don't believe that's what being a lesbian is. Straight and bisexual women do exist and what good is there in erasing their identities?

I also hate the idea that heterosexuality isn't natural. Obviously the idea that everyone is naturally heterosexual is wrong but the same way being gay is natural being straight is natural. Wanting connection and a community, romantic connection even sex is natural. I feel like this unintentionally feeds into shaming women about their sexuality and slut shaming. I agree that heterosexuality Isn't inherent to all women but it is of some and that’s okay. As a lesbian I feel proud when I see women talking about how much they love or are attracted to men sexually. For so long women were expected to be pure, to never think about things like sex and now we're finally at a stage where women are accepting their sexualities even if they are straight. At the same time I'm proud of any straight women who takes part in movements like 4B who chooses to actively decenter men in their life but that doesn't make them a lesbian. Women's sexuality has always been about men. They're supposed to be sexual when they're told and pure when they're told. Women choosing to take their sexuality into their own hands and doing what they actually want to do no matter what that is, is progress.

The 4B movement is not perfect, it is riddled with TERFS (Trans exclusionary radical feminist). I think a lot of feminist movements are inherently flawed because they focus on one subset of people. Intersectional feminism is amazing because it gives space to every single intersection of identities. As I've gotten older I've realized that I think a lot of people need to realize that not everything is for them and not everything is about them. I am an Ashkenazi Jewish lesbian. I can only relate to people who share those same traits and most people who do share one trait with me don't share all of them. You are not going to relate to everyone's experience or oppression but you can still hold space for them and let them speak. You are not going to relate to everyone's feelings or what they want to do in life but you can still respect them.

A key flaw I find in a lot of radical feminist movements is they care too much about things people do that have no direct impact on them. How does a trans woman existing affect a cis woman negatively in any way? Another extension of this is the discussions I see around plastic surgery. Why are we so quick to blame women for trying to fit in and live in a society that can be so harsh? So many women will victim shame other women in the guise of feminism. If a woman chooses to be a stay at home Mom logically we can understand no decision can be made in a bubble outside of patriarchy but we can still respect her decision if that’s what makes her happy. Choice feminism is not being freed from the patriarchy nor am I trying to say it's good but shaming women for making choices that don't negatively impact anyone else isn't any better. Shaming women for trying to survive in a society that wants us perfect or dead is counterproductive. I got into an argument with someone on TikTok and they were saying that by shaving our bodies we're trying to resemble children and therefore it's appealing to pedophiles. In addition it's imposed by the patriarchy and we wouldn't do it without societal pressure. Before I tackle the parts about patriarchy I want to talk about the pedophilic aspect. First of all I find it weird to say that people who are attracted to grown women are pedophilic because they're shaved. Pedophiles aren't attracted to adult women and adult women don't instantly look like children because they shave their vulva. Women like Belle Delphine who do actively try to appeal to pedophiles don't just shave their vulva. They wear children's clothes, diapers, wear fake braces, suck on teethers and make baby noises. You should never conflate that with a grown woman shaving. I am autistic and since I started growing body hair I have compulsively shaved. I have very very bad sensory issues and the feeling of my body hair rubbing on fabrics, even me rubbing my legs together and feeling body hair makes me literally shiver. When I brought this up to her she responded with a few points. The first was “why did sensory issues not exist 50 years ago.” I explained that 50 years ago many people did not know the vocabulary to properly explain their experience. The idea that women can even have autism has only recently been accepted. She also asked me why the hair I had sensory issues only applied to the hair below my eyes. It doesn't apply to hair just below my eyes. I can't have bangs because I don't like the feeling and I'm currently in the process of growing them out. Sometimes I style bangs for pictures or videos but so quickly I usually pin my bangs back and put my hair up in a clip. If I wear a hood I have to always put my hair up because I don't like how hair under clothing feels. That’s actually the reason why I usually never wear hoods or hats. Her response to this was to tell me to get help. I say this all to make the point that your experience is not everyone else's. Just because you've never heard of something before doesn't mean it doesn't exist and it doesn't happen.

I hate this idea that “because it hurts my feelings it's bad” not everything is about you. If someone loses weight it's not because they hate all fat people. If someone gets a nose job it's not because they think all people with a nose similar to theirs are ugly. Most insecurities are personal and when they make these choices they aren't thinking about other people and what they look like, they're thinking about themselves only. If you see someone change something about themselves and you get mad at it it's probably because you have an insecurity of your own you need to work on. This also applies to people who bully people. If you go out of your way to bully someone for being fat and ugly you're probably projecting how you feel onto them. Secure people don't feel the need to belittle people who probably already have a hard time in society.

Women are so diverse and have such a diverse set of experiences yet one we all have is the impact

of the patriarchy. Yet some women will shame other women for actually being impacted by the patriarchy. Shaming people because they don't live the exact same lifestyle you do is just so wrong. To move forward and dismantle the patriarchy we need to target the men and sometimes the women who actively perpetuate and keep the patriarchy alive. The woman who took ozempic isn't your enemy, it's the men who told her she needed to be skinny to be attractive. 40 years after “Compulsory Heterosexuality and the Lesbian Experience” was published a lot of issues brought up in the essay are still sadly prominently issues. Sexual violence, forced marriges, discrimination against women in job fields, access to birth control and abortion and how they get judged based on their looks and there's only one way to be a woman and only one way to dress and present yourself as a woman. I find it very sad how in 40 years people pretend there has been so much progress but in reality nothing has changed. I also agree with the fact that compulsory heterosexuality is only something women (people raised as women) can experience due to the fact throughout history women have to have a husband to get anywhere or be anyone. I think a lot of gay men will conflate compulsory heterosexuality with adapting to live in a just heteronormative society but in fact it's about adapting to live in a heteronormative and misogynistic patriarchal society which Adrienne Rich explained really well. Men have freedom, women only have the freedom men give them. Women have been consistently limited by who they marry. Because the heteronormative society is also a misogynistic society where women are second class to men. Saying compulsory heterosexuality is a lesbian only experience isn't to undermine the experience of gay men but to highlight the experience of lesbian women.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

"I didn’t say that the firm needs to look like Britain. I said the firm needs to look like the people, which also includes the 15 Commonwealth realms. The statistics look a little different when you incorporate the realms. Not a whole lot different, but different enough that it warrants some consideration. "

Different anon but I disagree.

1. Those realms chose the RF (and can still change their minds) knowing they were white so I don't understand the need to look like anyone.

2. I am a second generation immigrant. I grew up in a majorly white country with a white head of state and I don't understand this sudden need to have a HoS who looks like me. What I want is someone who understand me and acts on it and if you talk to many immigrants they can cite you many politicians from many backgrounds, not only those who looks like them, who did that.

3. Royalty is supposed to represent an ideal to atteign, in personality and lifestyle. Those things have no "race".

I don't know if I'm making myself clear but, I grew up knowing that racism was the ideology that there are other races than human race. And that those "races" could be ranked and are always inferior to "THE human race" (which in a racist mind means the white people). And I learned that fighting racism is realising that there is only one race: human race, whatever the form it has. I grew up thinking that anyone's skin color shouldn't be a prejudice and that only their personality matter. To give an example, what drew me to the RF all these years was the glamour, yes, but also the very public things they were living. Catherine's strength and resilience, her apparent silent determination are traits that my mother has and that I respect so much. Some of the things she is living today as well and I relate so much to her work with early childhood. William's speeches, his causes, his way to takle them, his strength. Same for the other working royals. (Ik it's mostly perceived, we don't know them) But they don't look like me.

I just don't understand why RFs in particular (because they are a white family and so can only add family members through marriage or adoption, which imo makes the discussion extremely toxic) should have this discussion on them. And I don't understand why it's a discussion on a broader space. The country where my parents were born is deeply, deeply corrupted. But we have politicians who look like us, we have a head of state who looks like us. I talked to many black american who thought Obama would change things but were left disappointed. But he looked like them.

I think we should wish for people who understand us (whatever the us is) or at least are willing to understand us because we are human and can be disappointed and not understood by people of all skin colors. I think that the obsession over "races" (from people who "defend" and people who attack) is why the racism keep going on.

So I don't think this angle of "race" discussion is helpful in any way. The proof I have is the Tuvalu controversy. Or the "optics" controversy. Omid and others like him use these pictures to stir the pot. They pretend to fight against racism but are racist in their very argumentation. Those people fought for independance and the right to make their own choices but because in Omid's and other's minds a white person is inherently superior, it is humiliating for the Tuvalu or Jamaican to be seen in those position with a white person but not with a non-white, and if we see white people being like this with royals, it's not important.

Fighting racism is admitting that the only reason the royals are "superior" is their position. Which mean that whoever chose to respect that postion in their prefered way shouldn't be called nor treated as a slave because of their skin color. And in the same way only their personality, their willingness to understand, should matter. Not their skin color.

Sorry for the long rant, I hope you'll understand my mumbles.

I'm really glad you shared this - your perspective is important.

You make a few really good points that I hadn't considered before, so I will be giving those some serious thought.

[taylortruther]

I just can’t get on board that he didn’t know what to expect from her lifestyle and the inevitable tour. No what it was is that he was having a self pitying party and felt bad about the direction of his own career while Taylor was about to embark on a once in a lifetime kind of tour and she’s ready to let herself shine. Now that being said tho maybe he really didn’t know what to expect tbh. When him and Taylor met, she was hiding. 2023 Taylor isn’t really the same 2017 Taylor. Maybe he went into the relationship thinking Taylor will keep making music but in a moderate way, nothing to the current extent. And I think Taylor thought the same too with the way she spoke about her career in miss americana. And this boom and resurgence for Taylor caught them both off guard. But the thing is Taylor welcomed it with open arms but he thought whatever they had planned in 2018-2019 got turned around, in part because of the pandemic re: his career and two because of Taylor’s growth in popularity.

and also like i said before, i often wonder how many times they disagreed about how she wanted that popularity.

and i think about this because, since reputation (which is about her finding love through the noise with joe), she's written more and more openly about desiring fame. she wrote nothing new, the lucky one, and ikp about the way the outside world and media intruded on her life and her legacy... but in reputation we got "he really knows me, which is more than they can say" and in folkmore we got ttds and dorothea and "is it enough if i can never give you peace?" and in midnights we got "the life i gave away ... chasing that fame" and "you should find another guiding light, but i shine so bright."

she acknowledged some of the pain of fame early on. but in her later music, she frames it more as her choice, and one she stands by. i can't help but think this was coming up often in her relationships to joe as well as herself.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Titanic (1997)

There’s a reason Titanic captured hearts and audiences in 1997. This is a disaster film done right. Director James Cameron builds up to the spectacle you expect by developing the relationships and characters. The romance is so effective you practically forget you already know the ship will sink until it happens. Wonderfully romantic (and quite erotic), with first-class special effects, excellent performances, a memorable score and dozens of scenes you see once and can never forget; it’s essential viewing.

In 1996, Brock Lovett (Bill Paxton) and his team dive deep inside the wreck of the RMS Titanic. They’re looking for the legendary Heart of the Ocean necklace. Instead of the gem, they find a drawing of a woman wearing it. The woman in question is Rose Dawson Calvert (Gloria Stuart). In 1912, 17-year-old Rose (played during flashbacks by Kate Winslet) is engaged to Caledon Hockley (Billy Zane), whom she loathes. When Rose meets Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio), a poor artist from the lower deck, she's initially put off by his itinerant lifestyle but in no time, they fall in love. Meanwhile, no one can imagine the danger that awaits the ship.

James Cameron’s passion for this project is clear and that enthusiasm meant no expense was spared, no detail was overlooked. When the decayed remnants of the Titanic are returned to their former glory, you get it. Its enormous engine room, cargo hold full of luxurious treasures, sumptuous Grand Staircase, gigantic dining hall, colossal chimneys and endless corridors are stunning. Then, there are the people aboard. At the top, wealthy passengers for whom the ritzy accommodations have been built. At the bottom, tiny cabins crowded with families dreaming of better lives. It’s the perfect setting for a romance. There’s enough space for our lovers to elope but the “world” is small enough that they can’t escape completely from the realities that await them. The trip is long but it won't last forever so there’s a ticking clock that demands the love story get resolved - even before the iceberg comes into view.

At 195 minutes, Titanic can fully develop its characters. Some may seem a little more plot device-y than others but even the despicable Caledon has tiny moments that make him human. He’s still a complete turd that - like so many of the rich passengers onboard - cares more about what's in someone’s bank account than anything else, but there’s a brief moment where he almost redeems himself. Not by being kind to Jack (he harbors far too much jealousy towards his romantic rival for that) but by trying to comfort Rose. Another character that seems flat at first is Rose’s mother, Ruth (Frances Fisher) when she explains to her daughter why she must marry into wealth. You disagree but understand the thought process, particularly after seeing the luxuries aboard the Titanic. Jack and Rose are a classic archetype that works again here. She's trapped in a period that gives her few options. She feels like the first member of a generation that will usher in a new age of greater equality… but she's also young and a slave to her emotions. Jack is a rascal but an honest one who's had the freedom to wander anywhere. That freedom seems to expand when he receives his ticket for the Titanic, but in a way, it shrinks. He gets closer to the upper crust than ever before, which only shows him there are places where he'll never be accepted.

And then… disaster strikes. Everyone knows the ship will sink. Early in the picture, we’re told the "how" and "when" in detail. It seems like a strange choice initially but it makes sense. Titanic doesn’t want to exploit the disaster. It wants to give those who lived and died onboard a story. They go from being numbers to people. You’ll be watching, looking forward to seeing Rose and Jack’s romance pan out when suddenly, the camera will fade away from the flashback and show us the now 100-year-old Rose telling us the story. Oh right! There’s a disaster on the way! You’re surprised you forgot but that’s the power of this romance. The fact that it is so effective makes the disaster portion of the story crushingly upsetting. Aboard the Titanic, there were hundreds of couples like Jack and Rose, dreamers like Fabrizio (Danny Nucci), elderly couples and young families who thought they were going to America to find better lives. It's been so long the survivors would likely be dead by now but it still makes you upset, particularly when we see how it all went down.

In the years since Titanic, much has been made of the story’s ending. We learn that Jack did not survive. Like so many others, he froze to death waiting for someone to come rescue him. There have been endless comments or posts about how the ending could be “fixed”, how both Rose and Jack could’ve fit on that door. All these criticisms miss the ending's point. No one on the Titanic truly lived happily ever after. While some elements are wildly romantic, possibly exaggerated for narrative purposes, the objective is to make you feel the injustice and tragedy of April 14, 1912.

Titanic is magnificent. You effortlessly get swept up in the romance, the nobility (or perceived nobility) of a bygone era, the drama of the classes aboard the ship, the struggles for survival as the boat sinks, and the tragedy of how it ended. The special effects are marvelous, the sets lavish, the performances excellent. Then, there’s the score. I’m sure you know Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On. Just thinking about it conjures up a wave of emotions. Its melody is found throughout the entire film but we have to wait until the very end to hear the full thing. When you do, it’ll be a challenge to hold those tears back. (On Blu-ray, April 12, 2023)

[inkwolvesandcoffee]

I GOT BROWNIES FROM MY COLLEAGUE-TURNED-MANAGER😭

Because I work so much and hard. Gods, bless her🥰

But now fancy me this:

Alfie gifting you food to show how much he appreciates you.

TH Masterlist

He’s truly grateful for how much you work and keep going despite the hardships (managing rush hour on your own, colleagues being even worse than unhelpful, injuries due to ovens… or getting your hand stuck between the wall and a tall and heavy tower of crates… absolutely not spiteful still about that). Being a workaholic himself, he respects you for taking on as many shifts as you do and staying for as long as you can manage.

However, he can easily see past your smile and positive go-getter attitude. Alfie will coax you into sitting down whenever he notices your energy is depleting. Regardless of whether it’s busy, he’ll occasionally sit down with you because “he’s due for a break too” and he has your permission.

Now, this will annoy Ollie to no end when it’s like the whole of London has gathered at the bakery. Nevertheless, he knows his boss has a soft spot for you and why he acts the way he does. Funnily enough, though, the Mad Baker hasn’t worked through his feelings enough yet to understand himself. All he knows is that he wants you to be healthy and take a break, enjoy a cuppa and snack he’s made even when you want to sit by yourself for a bit.

Alfie’s also constantly checking on you. Not to make sure you don’t make any mistakes, but because he doesn’t want you to injure yourself (mentally and physically). He’ll stand nearby when you’re dealing with a rude customer, chipping in as soon as he sees an opening into the conversation. He’ll plop you down on a chair and nurse your wound when you cut yourself… or manage to remove a piece of your skin at the hand of a couple of crates with stock and no one helping you manoeuvre it around.

(I promise I’m not salty about my own predicament.)

But recently, he’s been giving you more food. He’ll have a proper breakfast ready when you two open the bakery together, vividly remembering how you told him you only drink a cup of coffee and eat a protein bar before you come in in the morning and heavily disagreeing with this lifestyle choice. Orange juice, a plate of chremslach and a piece of fruit always somehow manage to magically appear on the table by the window when you two are busy setting up. He’ll have the same, trying to get into the habit of eating breakfast himself by eating with you.

After each shift, he’ll have a small basket of bread, bagels, and baked goods ready for you to enjoy at home. Often there’s cinnamon babka (because he knows you’re not a big fan of chocolate), mandel bread (to have with your coffee on your days off and subsequently have a piece of him there), and your new recent favourite: tzimmes bread. All kosher, of course!

One consistent element in the wee package is a loaf of soda bread. Alfie’s told you it’s made according to an old family recipe, one not many people have had the privilege of tasting. And he’s secretly proud it’s the reason you’ve fallen in love with eating bread.

(Although he hopes it’s actually the way he guides your hands when kneading dough. So far you’ve never have made a single loaf without his warm rough palms covering the backs of your hands, his rings cold against your fingers when he entwines them with yours)

Alright, imma stop here before this is going to get out of hand. Nonetheless, I think I’ve given myself some great ideas to incorporate into the story I hope to start writing during Camp NaNo. Also, yes, I’m finally going to attempt to properly write again in July and despite working 40 hours a week. Mostly I hope to finish some WIPs, but most of all I finally want to get started on Dear Edna. Wish me luck!

Tag List: @zablife @potter-solomons @babaohhhriley @rose-like-the-phoenix @buttercupsandboys @liliac-dreamer @hecatemoon87 @vir-tual @wandawiccan60 @dreamlandcreations @solomons-finest-rum

[sasukesun]

Can I ask your opinions on a few things about Gojou and Getoh?

-So, is he (Gojou) really not feel anything with Amanai and Haibara's death?

-How can Gojou not realizing Getou's depression (is it because he always sent on solo missions)?

- I read somewhere that Getou's act to that village is really because Yuki's words (as if to blame her), and I was like wtf (?)

- If Getou not become a curse user, can he become like Yuki (just do what they like and not listening to the elders)?

- Do you think adult Getou can win against Toji?

- NaruSasu is like Sun and Moon, do you think SatoSugu is also Sun and Moon?

- I also read somewhere that Gojou = Naruto and Getou = Sasuke, but I kinda disagree.. (I don't think Naruto can kill Sasuke, right). What abou you?

Sorry if my ask is too long, hope you don't mind....

1. the manga doesn’t even show gojou’s reaction to haibara’s death, especially since this part is through getou’s pov, it’s focused on showing getou’s depression, so i don’t think it’s fair to say that gojou didn’t feel anything when it’s nowhere to be seen. this writing choice could also be used to portray the distancing between getou and gojou, how gojou got so busy with his missions. in amanai’s case, gojou pretty much says he isn’t sad for her, but it doesn’t necessarily means he is cold or didn’t care about her, you have to consider the entire context. gojou had just learned reverse cursed technique and almost came back from the dead, he got severely traumatised by toji, but that’s exactly it, that’s how gojou deals with his trauma, by distancing himself, quite literally when you consider that he focuses on improving his infinity after it, and this metaphor is well portrayed in the anime too. gojou dealing with his trauma that way also adds to the idea of getou struggling with the distance between them.

2. the same way that gojou deals with trauma by creating a distance from humanity, getou deals with trauma by keeping everything to himself. gojou notices getou has lost weight, but getou himself brushes that off, maybe because he doesn’t want to worry gojou, maybe because he doesn’t want to show his vulnerability, afraid of gojou looking at him differently, who knows.

i feel like getou doesn’t like lying to gojou, so he just acts avoidant (and that also contributes to the distance between them).

3. getou’s actions weren’t solely due to what yuki said to him, he was already seeing humans as “monkeys” before their talk. of course her talk about genocide influenced his decisions, but she couldn’t possibly know how much he was affected by humans’ treatment towards sorcerers and by the cycle of exorcising/ingesting for the same humans. she didn’t know what was going on with his mind, it’s not her fault, but it is a bit insane to me how casually she mentions genocide. still, getou chose that path himself, there’s even a panel of him saying that.

4. yeah? i don’t see why not, the exorcising lifestyle was clearly unsustainable to him, there are other alternatives.

5. i think those kind of discussions are pointless tbh? i can’t give you an answer.

6. i do think satosugu is sun/moon coded, but in a different way than narusasu and, contrary to what some people think, getou is the sun while gojou is the moon, i’m linking a couple of posts to explain why i see it that way (1) (2), plus will have to mention that getou’s name contains the summer kanji (夏). narusasu are written to represent yin and yang from chinese philosophy, they are complementary opposites, in which yin means many things such as moon, dark, cold, earth, passive, while yang means sun, light, heat, heaven, active etc. those words are present in each of their characters, sasuke encompass all of yin’s characteristics, while naruto does the same with yang, they embody yin and yang perfectly.

satosugu are also written to be complementary opposites, in a lot of ways besides their names or their looks, but i don’t think gojou and getou encompass only yin or only yang characteristics each. dark goes clearly for getou, while light clearly goes for gojou, whose name literally means enlightenment, but i would say active is more matching to getou’s character in their relationship, while passive matches more with gojou’s, if you think about it, it’s always getou’s actions that change gojou, his defection, his declaration of war… i would say that gojou, who gets his enlightenment, is closer to heaven, while getou is grounded by his afflictions, closer to earth. another natural duality i read about yin and yang was contracting and expanding respectively, to which contracting matches getou’s technique, while expanding matches gojou’s. so my point is, gojou and getou are surely written to be complementary opposites, and even though those complementary opposites encompass yin and yang, i don’t think each are necessarily purely yin or yang.

7. i don’t think satosugu resemble narusasu, i don’t think either naruto or sasuke are gojou or getou. i also get what you’re saying about naruto being unable to kill sasuke, but i don’t like applying the same logic to different stories, i don’t think satosugu is less than narusasu because gojou killed getou, narusasu’s logic doesn’t apply to satosugu and vice versa. there is something about not being able to kill someone, even though that’s expected of you, because you love them, but there is also something about killing the one you love because it has to be you, and neither of those things are better or deeper than the other, the big picture matters, context matters.

[readychilledwine]

I read a little fic / one shot, and I need to talk to you all about how much it had lingered with me.

I've dug through my likes and cannot find it, so if you know which one I am talking about please please please tag the author so I can link it.

**There's some cross Fandom spoilers**

There's 7 sons in both series with a corrupt father who holds a place of high power.

I can't stop thinking about the similarities between the Vanserra Brothers in ACOTAR and the Sons of Feanor in The Silmarillion.

I had not thought about it until I read this piece with Eris and a character in a library late at night where she is reading The Silmarillion, and her and Eris end up in a discussion about how sons are more than just the acts of their father's.

And now we're here.

In the Silmarillion, 2 sons are killed in an act related to their father's rage. He commanded his sons to burn Swan Boats they had stolen. He had not bothered with ensuring his twins were woken up and removed from them, though.

In ACOTAR, 2 sons are killed in an act related to their father's rage. They chased down their youngest brother after an "act of betrayal" only to be slaughtered in the Spring Court.

Maedhros, the oldest brother, is plagued by loyalty to his father, even if he does not necessarily agree with his actions. He is eventually tortured for years. Maedhros, after years of mental turmoil, the lingering weight of his father, and being emotionally plagued on by the oath all 7 brothers took, ends his own life by throwing himself into a volcano.

Eris, the oldest brother, seemingly wears this mask of indifference. Following his father's choices despite how much he disagrees with them. Eris has been tortured for years. He is trapped by his father.

Maglor, the second brother, was seen as a more gentle soul. A minstrel who loved his mother, his brothers, but parts ways with them. While his remaining brothers continued to act on the oath they made with their father. Maglor had adopted two children and a new lifestyle, a more peaceful one. It is unknown what exactly happened to Maglor. It is believed he roams the shoreline, singing songs of his despair.

Lucien, the youngest brother, is a more gentle soul. Preferring the comforts of a book to his father's violence, seeing shame in how Beron runs Autumn. He is driven away from his brothers and adapts a new lifestyle as an emissary in a court where rank isn't enforced. Lucien's story currently involves him having no true home. He is just wandering.

All of the Sons of Feanor die, without the exception of Maglor, whose story is unknown. If there's proof SJM is a Tolkien fan, I'm worried for Eris, I'm worried for Lady Autumn, who shares similarities with the wife of Feanor, and I am terrified for Lucien.

[taito-division]

🧐 FACE WITH MONOCLE — for Azusa

✈️ AIRPLANE — for Fleuret

💯 HUNDRED POINTED SYMBOL — for Eldrid

Truthfully, Azusa is a little bit of both. She can make logical choices when she is calm and composed, but when she is flustered or upset, she tends to let her emotions decide for her. Much of this stems from her teammates, Fleuret and Eldrid. Fleuret is the smart, analytical one of the group, while Eldrid is the hot-headed, fearless one. After being around them for so long, Azusa has adopted traits from both women. It really depends on her mood. She usually is very logical, but when something happens that makes her embarrassed or upset, she is very emotional.

Fleuret is very much a homebody. She adopted this trait from her father, who doesn't like leaving his home or neighborhood if he can help it. Her mother, on the other hand, enjoys traveling, which is why she is currently overseas, working as an interpreter. Her mom can't stand being in one place for too long, as she loves to get out and see new sights. It's one of the things that her parents agree to disagree on. Though Fleuret would like to see new places, she is content to stay in her home city of Taitō for now.

Three random facts about Eldrid:

Despite loving any kind of alcoholic beverage she can get her hands on, Eldrid hates any kind of drink that requires you to mix it with something. She prefers drinking her alcohol straight up with no fess. This is why she prefers beer, as the only thing you need to add to make it good is some ice.

She someday wishes to visit the country of Norway, which is where her ancestors supposedly lived. As you may know, Eldrid is half Japanese, half German, on her father's side. Though he hails from Germany, his ancestors were supposedly Norsemen who hailed from the Scandinavian Peninsula. She wishes to find out more about her ancestors, their way of life, how they lived, etc.

She has been debating with herself to go to see her father, who is currently hospitalized. After she and her younger brother left the house, her father fell into a deep depression. He was later diagnosed with fatty liver disease, due to his lifestyle. One part of her wants to bury the hatchet with the old fool as she has heard from doctors that he supposedly doesn't have long to live. The other part of her wants to say 'fuck that old bastard' since he made Eldrid and her brothers' lives a living hell when they were younger. It doesn't help that Yuma has been begging her to go see him. She knows she'll feel guilty if she doesn't, but she's afraid to see how pitiful and sad the old man has become...

Thanks for the ask!

[socialprawn]

Can I ask what interests you in drawing nsfw art when you yourself are ace? I’m genuinely curious. I love your work and portrayal of sex. It all feels very real. Don’t feel pressure to answer this if you don’t want to! Keep up the good work <3

First of all thank you and it makes me happy you like my drawings 🙈💞

Hmmmm it’s an answer I can’t give a 100% accurately because I feel like in a month from now I could disagree with myself or I would say it different.

I think the need for intimacy plays a big role in it that isn't limited by asexuality (for mi) (○｀ 3′○) I also feel like my asexuality is kind of fluid, although I am definitely more leaning towards being ace than not being. That is, I have a semblance of a drive and I like playing ball sometimes but I definitely don't care to act on anything 99% of the time. So, same goes for my willingness to draw NSFW

I definitely know that only a few of my characters I’m comfortable drawing in general (currently)… Agape is fully asexual I think, even aromantic, the Alistair fling was a bit of a miss for her in general. LA has no sexual drive due to her lifestyle choices and so does Noah. In my 'story canon' (lol) Thom and Moira and all the vampires would need to drink excessive amounts of blood to be able to do it, so their sex life is actually pretty minimal. etc etc. What I'm saying here is that I go about my way to make my characters not to be interested in having sex most of the time just like me HAHA

My final answer I guess is that I am not really sure, but I am not repulsed by sex all the time (I just don't care for it) and I think it's a fun and intimate thing to do (and really fun to draw for some reason :V)

[meltedbluecaterpillar]

Hello again, dearly beloved Absol!

It has not been too long since our last chat. Please, spoil me with your knowledge of fashion. I'm curious and eager to hear what you've got to share. There's no need to be so shy, but I understand; we'll talk at your pace over some tea, if you're comfortable, my dear. All your choices so far have been full of character in the best ways! I find the expression of one's clothing to be intriguing. Don't you agree?

I've found your headcanons for Jade's clothing to be exactly what I imagined. He most definitely goes for punk clothing! He is... my favorite. Thank you for taking care of him! I'll support my punk boyfriend from the sidelines. Grunge is my guilty pleasure, even if I dress like a bright pink princess. It's a cute pair, no? He fidgets with his rings and bracelets on our dates. Haha, forgive me, dear Absol. I forget myself in your welcoming presence.

...if it's not too much to request, do you have any Jade Leech headcanons or opinions to share? I'd love more content of him.

Until next time, beloved guide, I await our next conversation. - 🦋

Good evening, I think… I will refer to you as Mariposa. It sounds like a name. Just as I have my Viper, I think it will be nice to give a title in that vein of thinking. However if you disagree, please correct me. I hope you have been well. Please remember to eat properly. Your stomach and brain will be devoured by your body if you don’t.

My knowledge on fashion… I like to look at trends in my spare time. You’d be happy to find that history repeats itself when it comes to clothing. A few years ago we just had 80’s and 90’s coming back. Primarily from the influence of TV and media and what was coming out at the time. But since the 2020’s, it’s been all Y2K. I think it’s so fascinating. I love how it’s just one big circle. Ah, I have a preference for tea. Recently I bought some peppermint tea because I’ve been having some health issues… So I drink it before bed since it’s non-caffeinated. I agree, I love seeing how clothes can be used to express personality and lifestyle. Same with environment. I think it’s exciting. Someone as pristine as Jade Leech wearing studded belts and making his own battle jacket for when he feels confident enough to wear it… I think it’s fantastic. Even if someone isn’t confident enough to use words to express themself, you can see what kind of person they might be when they’re wearing clothes out on day trip.

I am happy you understand my idea of Jade being more ‘punk’ than ‘formal’ when it comes to casual wear. Or more, out of uniform style! As much as I love the idea of Jade in sexy suspenders with a nice button up I also want to remind myself; he’s a young man. Not 30+. At least not yet. So I like thinking of him discovering his sense of style starting with what can be seen as non traditional. He does it well I think. Oh my… I am a large fan of mixing aesthetics. Ohhh I love the idea of a small princess girlfriend and a big scary Leech. He looks so nervous as he fiddles with his bracelets as he waits for you outside of Ramshackle for your date. I think it’s lovely. I am happy that you feel comfortable sharing with me. Is this… Your OC? Your self insert? Please tell me about her.

I do have some Jade headcanons. Both SFW and NSFW. I guess it depends on what you would like to hear. Ahhh, I want to do the alphabets. I am happy to have someone who is interested in Jade. I have another friend who likes him so I am excited for the future of Jade Leech here… Ahhh, let’s meet again soon. I’m excited to meet you again. I’ll guide you anywhere you’d like to go.

[aldieb]

[id: a twitter thread from Stephanie Tait ♿ @StephTaitWrites on 4/28/2022 reading:

"When people take all the info out there about long Covid and still behave as if that risk isn’t a big deal to them, it gets personal for those of us who have been living with conditions like ME/CFS/Lyme/Etc Why? Because it means one of two things: 🧵

Either a) no matter what you say to us, on some level you don’t ACTUALLY believe us about our experiences. If you truly believed us when we talk about what it’s like to live with these sorts of symptoms? You wouldn’t NEED mandates to force you to take precautions.

Or it means b) you believe this sort of disability couldn’t happen to you. But whatever lifestyle choices you point to for thinking you’ve earned your good health, the inverse means that you think those of us who ARE disabled like this *didn’t* make good choices. It’s our fault.

So whether you’re denying our experiences are real, or assuming that it couldn’t happen to you (which means blaming us for our disabilities,) either way it’s personal. DEEPLY personal.

There is no way for us to separate what you’re saying from who we ARE.

Which is part of why it’s so manipulative & disingenuous to shame people for “putting this pandemic before your relationships.”

Because we aren’t just disagreeing about some outside force here. This is about who we are as disabled people, and what we do/don’t deserve.

If you’re denying my lived experiences are real, how can I stay in close relationship with you?

Or if you believe you make the “right” healthy choices so this couldn’t happen you, meaning I’m somehow to blame for my disabilities - how can I stay in close relationship with you?

Look, if I actually cut everyone out of my life who disagrees with me or makes pandemic choices I don’t agree with (a claim I get regularly,) I wouldn’t have much ANYONE left at this point. I’ve had to make a LOT of compromises to preserve relationships with people I love.

But the reality is that I have to deny parts of myself in order to preserve those relationships. I’m not just “putting relationships above the pandemic,” in many ways I’m putting those relationships above MYSELF. Above my right to be whole, to be seen and accepted for all of me.

It’s asking me to separate out disabled me from the rest of me - as if somehow the rest of me is the “real” me and disability is just an optional piece I can detach for folks that don’t have room for it.

It’s literally asking me to fragment myself, to dis-integrate. (Which is even more ironic for a person who has spent years of therapy for C-PTSD working so hard on trying to integrate fragmented pieces in the first place.)

Every time you ask me to me “allow for differences of opinions on this pandemic stuff,” you need to understand that this isn’t the balanced both-sides/give and take, “agree to disagree” situation you think it is.

You’re asking me to fragment off a core piece of my identity and life experiences, and deny them or otherwise disassociate myself from them in order to pretend that your “difference of opinion” isn’t directly harmful to me in a deeply personal way.

You’re asking me to accept that my right to exist should be negotiable. But more than that, you’re establishing that being asked to compromise I am & negotiate on my human rights is a NORMAL expectation in a relationship, b/c you say it’s “unhealthy” to end a relationship over it

So no, it’s not as simple as “she can’t handle anyone disagreeing with her.”

You’re disagreeing on who I am, on the reality of my experiences, and on my human rights. Even my very right to exist.

So yes, I am allowed to take that personally.

And no, it’s not the least bit unhealthy to distance myself, or even entirely walk away from, people that expect me to dis-integrate myself and disassociate from core pieces of who I am in order to stay in relationship. It’s actually some of the healthiest behavior possible." /end id]

[akaraboonline]

How to Resolve a Serious argument  with Your Girlfriend

What should you do after a contentious dispute with your girlfriend? Both of you probably feel resentful, angry, or upset. There are ways to mend your relationship if you want to stay together. Start by comprehending the conflict at hand, and then approach the problem with empathy and humility.

Processing the Argument

How to Resolve a Serious argument  with Your Girlfriend - Cool down. An argument cannot be expected to be resolved instantly after it has started. After a disagreement, give yourself some time to collect yourself. Take a few minutes, or perhaps a few days, to calm down and properly digest your feelings. Go for a stroll, see a buddy, or watch a movie. Until you've cooled down enough to consider the situation objectively, engage in relaxing activities. - Analyze what caused the fight. Rarely do fights start for nothing. Spend some time considering what led to the argument and whether there was anything you might have done to avoid it. 3. Express your feelings, You must acknowledge and feel your emotions after a disagreement. While emotions like anger and grief may not be pleasant to experience, it's vital to acknowledge them rather than push them away. Suppressing your emotions could lead to an eventual outburst.

Resolving the Argument

How to Resolve a Serious argument  with Your Girlfriend - Plan a conversation, Offer a time to talk about your disagreement after you both have calmed down. It's crucial to plan a conversation after a heated dispute to ensure that both of you are composed for the conversation. - Use open body language, Use your body language to show that you are willing to talk about your dispute. This may make it possible for the conversation to proceed in a laid-back manner. - Use good verbal communication skills. Use clear verbal communication as well when presenting your case. Make sure you communicate with your girlfriend clearly after a conflict because she needs to know you are willing to make things right. - Validate your girlfriend's feelings, When you are in a love relationship, it can be incredibly upsetting to feel that your feelings are not being acknowledged. Make an effort to make your girlfriend feel as though her feelings are recognized, even if you disagree with her appraisal of the situation. Allowing someone to feel how they do can frequently release a lot of tension in a situation. This lets off negative energy that has been building up, and it will show your girlfriend that you actually care about her happiness. - Figure out where you disagree, The majority of couples will disagree on a few things. Being distinctive like this is typical for people. Use a disagreement as a chance to identify your differences and the solutions you may come up with. It's critical to recognize and resolve any differences in expectations you may have for your time together, the partnership as a whole, or your lifestyle choices. - Apologize, Consider your actions and contribution to the dispute, and then express regret for any misconduct. To show that you have heard and comprehended your girlfriend's concerns, be as detailed and honest in your apology as you can.

Preventing Future Fights

- Discuss new issues immediately. Do not disregard a problem that you see developing. Instead, have a conversation about the situation before it gets out of hand. By doing this, you can stop future explosions. - Create a process for resolving arguments without anger. It can be challenging to react to a situation logically while you're angry. In their fit of rage, people frequently hurt those closest to them. Try to find a solution to problems with your partner that doesn't include getting angry. If you disagree, instead of trying to talk about it right away, take five minutes to convey your views. - Listen for underlying emotional needs. Fights are frequently caused by the unmet emotional demands of one or both parties. Try to determine if your girlfriend has needs you are not meeting when she is angry or frustrated with you. Have you recently been distant? Have your obligations caused you to spend less time with her? Think about whether you're providing for your girlfriend's requirements and what you can do to assist. - Summarize what is discussed to assure you understand. Always take a time to describe the conversation that followed a disagreement. What do you think? What is your girlfriend's mood? How are you both prepared to address the problem to ensure that it won't arise again? An dispute can be avoided by summarizing the scenario for five minutes after it has ended. Read the full article

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What everyone should know about marriage counselling

Marriage counselling means couples receive advice or guidance from a counsellor to maintain a healthy relationship and solve problems for example inside, and shared responsibilities.

There are various reasons for a couple to seek professional help for their relationship. Marriage counselling and couples therapy can be very productive, helping in reading the goals of a relationship. You can find easymarriage counselling in San Francisco.

Here are some reasons why marriage counselling is important

Marriage counselling is more than worth it for any couple who wants to find great ways to make their relationship better and happier.  It can be beneficial at numerous points in a relationship and can help you solve issues that might affect life.

Younger couples have more benefits from counselling. Marriage counselling in San Francisco may help adults to build healthy communication before or in the early stage of marriage. Research has found that counselling before marriage may empower couples to maintain their relationship over a long period.

 Counselling is more effective when both partners are willing and open to looking at their flaws and are willing to make changes in them.

Couples who seek marriage counselling earlier may achieve better outcomes.  One of the leading experts on marriage and relationships, couples who get counselling before problems become more severe may help deal with dead dealt counselling jingling.

Effective communication is one of the most important things in any marriage. It is not uncommon for couples to lose the ability to share their needs and feelings. Marriage counselling helps you build greater communication skills between couples.

Marriage counsellors help to clear misunderstandings and avoid miscommunications between couples. They also help to create a more realistic picture or understanding of what the other partner wants her or him to be in a relationship.

If couples understand, know and respect each other’s motivations and wishes then it is very easy to maintain a healthy relationship.

Who can seek marriage counselling

Couples who feel that there is a fight between them and it is very difficult to solve them and even couldn't match eye-to-eye conversation or can't know how to come up with a solution.

Disagree about financial, upbringing, or lifestyle choices.

Feel that their partner is emotionally not supportive.

Couples who feel that they have lost romantic or sexual chemistry.

 Experienced a loss and are having difficulty processing it together.

 Couples who have various thoughts and aren't able to match them.