#yes she gets frustrated with spock for not showing human emotion but that is a consequence of HER parenting as well as sarek's

[lightshiningforth]

One thing that bothers me about Discovery is that it takes the grimmest possible view of Vulcan culture in general and Spock's family in particular, in ways that I don't think are justified by prior Star Trek series.

On the one hand, I think there's absolutely room in the Star Trek canon to portray a flawed, xenophobic Vulcan society. It's right there in front of you, starting in the original series. We all know that Spock grew up being bullied for being half human and not Vulcan enough. Dr. Miranda Jones is a human who studied on Vulcan and also has a complex about not being Vulcan enough (S3.E5 "Is there in Truth No Beauty?"). The inherent hypocrisy of Vulcans proclaiming that they value "infinite diversity in infinite combinations" while treating atypical members of their society poorly is absolutely worth exploring.

On the other hand, Discovery takes the portrayal of Vulcan callousness to the absolute extreme. Why on earth would Michael and her Vulcan classmates be contained in isolated orbs at school, practicing rapid-fire rote memorization? Vulcans aren't just computers who spit out facts and figures; that's a stereotype other species apply to them. Vulcans like to philosophize, to debate. Vulcans sincerely value the arts, music in particular. Spock even refers to dances that young Vulcans are taught in preschool (S3.E14 "Whom Gods Destroy"). None of those things are compatible with an education style that keeps kids isolated and interacting with no one, neither peers nor teachers.

Further, I don't for a second believe that Sarek would squash and deny Spock and Amanda their humanity. Yes, he has a complex about it and insists consistently that Spock is a Vulcan and must be treated as a Vulcan and yadda yadda yadda. BUT. Though he and Amanda choose to raise Spock on Vulcan ideals, Sarek is someone who clearly values human ways. He likes when Amanda and Perrin show him their human affection. He values human music, and is moved by it! And Spock, whose education was heavily influenced by Sarek, is fully versed in human history and literature. Often more so than the full, raised-on-Earth humans he serves with. He has read Byron and Shakespeare. He has detailed knowledge of wars, of governments, of even niche gunfights in the ancient American frontier (S3.E6 "Spectre of the Gun"). Sarek also relies without question on Spock's human friends to save his son's life, entrusting them with the most intimate of Vulcan rituals after assuming that Spock had already done the same. And their big father-son conflict? Sarek wants his son, of whom he is very proud, to contribute his talents to Vulcan society via the Vulcan Science Academy and stay close to home rather than going off into space and joining an organization with more military power than Sarek approves of. That's it.

All that is to say, there's no damn way that Sarek would "forbid" Amanda from exposing Spock to human literature and ideas. She would have read Alice in Wonderland to both her kids and he would have pretended not to be interested from another room while secretly being gripped by the story.

[daraoakwise]

A celebration of Nyota Uhura in the Original Series.

With one exception, the next several episodes are Uhura-lite. She does not appear in Episode 1x3: Where No One Has Gone Before, or 1x5: The Enemy Within. She appears briefly in 1x6, Mudd’s Women, notable mostly for her appearance in a gold shirt.

Her role is much more significant in Episode 1x4: The Naked Time, an episode with perhaps the best ad lib of all time.

Uhura first appears mostly in the background as the Captain and Spock discuss the breakup of the planet. Her first significant appearance in the episode is as Riley is losing it; Spock orders her to take over the navigation station, which she easily and smoothly does like the well trained and well rounded bridge officer she is, ignoring Riley’s inane comments about women and work. She is relieved a few minutes later, returning to the communication station where she coordinates with security and medical about the affected crewmen.

Mr. Sulu is chasing crewmen …. with a sword?!?

And then this fantastic scene. Sulu bursts onto the bridge, in full swashbuckler mode. Uhura gently calls his name, trying to get her friend to calm down and give her the sword. He grabs her. “I’ll protect you, fair maiden,” he says. And then Nichelle Nichols ad libs what may be my favorite line in all of Star Trek, sailing right past the censors of 1960s television: “Sorry, neither,” she says, and shoves Sulu off. It’s a tremendous line. She’s black, and she fucks, thank you very much.

She then heads back to her station and unsuccessfully attempts to cut off a communication from Riley, who has taken over the engine room. Spock rushes over to attempt it, but can’t manage to cut him off either. Along with the rest of the crew, she gets tossed out of her chair as the unstable planet begins to affect the ship, and rolls her eyes when Riley comes back on spouting options about women’s hair and makeup. Thanks Riley we really value that brilliant contribution there. She is in the background on the bridge through much of the rest of the action, doing her best to assist with the situation, but obviously frustrated about what keeps happening to the communications circuits.

There is a great scene as the circumstances really start to deteriorate. The Captain is struggling as the bridge crew becomes insensible, and Riley is singing horribly over the comm. “At least try to cut him off!!” Kirk yells at her. She snaps back: “sir, if I could cut him off don’t you think I …” and she suddenly cuts herself off, her face horrified as she realizes she just yelled at the Captain. “Yes sir, I’ll keep trying,” she continues calmly, and Kirk apologizes. She smiles up at him; he’s forgiven. It is fantastic little scene that tells you a lot about Kirk and Uhura; human emotion, but professionals, both, who can acknowledge when they are in the wrong.

Beyond a few background shots on the bridge, and grimacing in pain along with everyone else as the ship pulls away into a time warp at the end of the episode, her last significant participation in this episode is with her voice from the bridge, calmly keeping the Captain updated about the situation. Spock is having an emotional breakdown, Kirk is in engineering with Scotty. Sulu and Riley and both nuts …. Uhura is on the bridge. I’m convinced she has the conn.

An episode showing off her cool competence, a burst of anger she quickly pulls under control, and yes, that wonderful ad lib. A classic episode with some great Uhura moments.

[live-logs-and-proper]

Gravity (Part 2)

————————

Words: 1346

Pairing: Past Spock x Elizabeth (ofc)

Warnings: Swearing

————————

*1 month later*

“So?” Uhura asks.

“So what?” You ask back

“You are finally back in San Francisco and rumour has it that Jim’s trying to get you back up on the Enterprise.” She says after placing her mug on the kitchen counter. “You’ll have to eventually give him an answer, Liz.”

“Eventually.” You say while taking your gym bag and heading for the door with Uhura following behind.

"Like a place back on the Enterprise?" Jim's voice sounds serious this time, his question catching you off guard.

"More like my life depending on it." You say, sounding more defensive than you had intended.

"That's not the word around Starfleet." Jim says, somewhat more cautiously.

"They don't know shit." You just about spit out the words making him cast his gaze away. "I thought that Pike knew better than to use you two to lure me back." You add before sipping your coffee.

“They. Don’t. Know Shit.” You mutter out every word while hitting the punching bag harder and harder every time; the chain it was hanging from threatening to break.

“Easy tiger.” Bones’ voice makes you turn around only to find him giving you his familiar ‘you’ll end up hurting yourself’ look. “You okay?”

“Yes. No.” You take a deep breath before talking again. “‘S fine.” You say with a smile before giving him a quick hug. “Long time no see.”

“It must be that I haven’t had to patch you up lately.” You roll your eyes at his statement and he lets out one of those full-body laughs you liked so much.

“Here I thought that’s supposed to be a good thing.” You say with a smile. “But seriously though, it’s great seeing you again.” You add patting him on the shoulder.

Spock’s voice calling for Bones made you both turn to look in his direction; he was wearing a pair of grey sweats and a black t-shirt. You let out a sigh before resuming punching the bag.

“Doctor, the captain was looking for you just now.” He informs stopping before you two.

“Thank you, Spock.”

A hand on your shoulder made you stop and turn.

“See you around kiddo.” Bones says and you smile.

“May I have a word, Elizabeth?” Spock asks you after the doctor leaves and you just give up continuing your workout, walking towards a bench and sitting down while picking up your water bottle

“Go ahead.”

“You seem irritated.” You look up, slightly narrowing your eyes at him.

“Spock, I’m seriously not in the mood.” You reply with a tired sigh and his brows furrow for a split second before he looks at the wall behind you and then back at you.

“Why Vulcan?” You run a hand over your face to cover up your frustration.

“Why does the sun shine? Why do birds sing? Why won’t you fucking drop the subject already?” You say standing up and putting your stuff in your gym bag before walking away. “Research, that’s the fuck why, Spock.” You yell while turning to look at him without stopping, earning some curious looks from some of the people present in the room and no reaction whatsoever from Spock. “Right.” You sigh with a shake of your head in annoyance while turning and walking towards the exit.

“Elizabeth, I hope your flight was free of incident.”

“Indeed Amanda. Thank you very much for receiving me.” Amanda squeezes your hand before letting go. “Ambassador Sarek, I highly appreciate your affirmative answer to my request, and I apologize in advance for any inconvenience my stay here may cause.”

“Nonsense.” Amanda’s voice is tender as Ambassador Sarek only nods his head in reply. “We’re beyond delighted you’re here.” A beautiful smile spreads across her face and you mirror it in return.

“I expect you to find the answers you’re looking for here, Lieutenant. If you’ll excuse me.” Ambassador Sarek excuses himself before leaving, and Amanda leads you into the house.

You decided to call Bones as soon as you were outside the gym.

“Hey, are you up for a drink tonight?”

“Everything alright?” You smile at the always worrisome doctor.

“Yeah, it’s just that I could use some booze instead of owing Starfleet another punching bag.” You hear him laugh.

“Sure will, Liz. See you on that bar off campus tonight at eight.” He says once he’s done laughing.

“It’s a date.” You say before hanging up and checking the time.

“What just happened?” Uhura aks coming out of nowhere.

“You scared the crap out of me, Ny.” You call her out.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” She apologizes and you shake your head with a smile. “What was that?” She asks again and you sigh.

“Save yourself the trouble and don’t date a vulcan, Ny.” You say in a weary tone before shooting her a kind smile and walking away, leaving behind a confused and slightly worried Nyota.

Once you were back at the apartment, you dropped your bag by the door and walked right into the bathroom to take a shower.

“It is the first time ever I meet a human that wants to engage into Vulcan emotion purging rituals.” Amanda’s words did not surprise you.

“I don’t intend on engaging into the Kolinahr ." You explain. "That would be illogical." You add and Amanda chuckles. “I like to think of it like more of a first-hand research than anything.” Amanda nods at your words, mirroring your smile.

“Well, I think you’re in the right place then, Elizabeth.” She says, ever so sweetly. ”Plus, it’ll be great to have someone from Earth around for a while.”

“Look at that, how you doing sugar?” Bones greets you making you smile as you sit opposite of him.

“I’m great actually. I kinda missed this.” You say looking around the bar, Starfleet cadets gathered here and there.

“Well, I bet they didn’t have any of this in the East Coast.” he adds just as a bartender places two shot glasses on the table.

“Do I wanna know I’m drinking, or I just trust you implicitly?” He just smiles and raises his glass in your direction before downing it at once. You roll your eyes and smiled before doing the same. “Jeez.” You say pulling a face and placing the glass on the table making him laugh. “Still worth the burn.” You add laughing too.

“So, tell me.” He says as you raise two fingers at the bartender asking for another two shots.

“Didn’t Jim tell you?”

“He did, but you know how Jim can be sometimes.”

“There was no actual need to drag Spock with him to ask me such a simple thing.” You say. “And the rumours going around Starfleet…” You scoff.

“I know better, Liz.” He says while the bartender places another two shot glasses on the table. “But no one rejects an offer like that to be a teacher.”

You thanked the bartender him with a smile and downed yours without missing a beat.

“Not someone with your credentials whatsoever.” He points out and you look at him while toying with the now empty glass. “You were one of Starfleet’s best students.” He starts and you simply listen” Two doctorates at once? No one does that.”

“I did.” You say looking away.

“That’s what I’m saying.” His hand wraps around yours to stop you from toying with the glass and make you look back at him. “You don’t just give everything up, not when you’re one of Starfleet’s best assets.”

“I fell in love with the wrong person and it fucked me up real good.” You say holding his gaze. “I’m sorry for wanting some peace and quiet for a little while.”

“Liz…”

“No, I’m- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be taking my frustration out on you.” You apologize and lean back into the padded booth. “So, are we gonna get drunk or what?” You ask making him laugh. “I’m back honey, so keep a biobed free cuz you never know when I might show up at medical.” You add making him roll his eyes.

“Will do, sugar.”

————————

@stardustednerd 

[nikkzwrites]

Emotional Support Vulcan | AOS Vus x Reader One-Shot |

Author’s Note: This fic is set in the Kelvin timeline in between Star Trek (2009) and Into Darkness. Vus is my Vulcan OC along with his older sister. I recently made a post about this, but I actually wanted to give my poor Vus some attention so here it is.  Word Count: Little over 3k Story Description: 

You are escorting your superior when you met the Vulcan Matriarch’s brother. He was different from what you imagined. He stood tall and strong. He did not seem like the child his older sibling spoke about. He was going to be working with you during the stay.

You sighed and looked towards your commander. He seemed to be just as anxious as you were about being here on New Vulcan for the ceremonies. You crossed your legs and settled in your seat in his bed. You complained and asked, “Do I really have to be the one down here with you? Why couldn’t someone else do it? Or why have someone come with you at all?”

He sighed and used the mirror to gain eye contact with you, “She requested a representative of every ship in the Federation that helped aid her people. I was a personal request of attendance and hold a seat in the ceremony. I could not be the representative for Enterprise.” Spock turned toward you and commented, “You were also the one who requested shore leave.”

“I didn’t think I was going to be stuck following you around,” You huffed at him.

He rolled his eyes and mentioned, “This was simply to make sure you did not break terms and embarrass the rest of your species so that Humans are not uninvited to New Vulcan much like Vulcan was before.”

You stood up nervously, “You don’t think she would do that, would she? She is half Human, right?”

“Depends on how severe the situation,” he explained, “She may have no choice than to look out for the safety of her people first.” He studied you seeing how you paced around the room anxiously. He thought for a moment, “I can always request a different escort for you if you wish.”

You stopped in your tracks and rushed to him with a beaming smile, “Really?”

He nodded and bowed his head, “Please excuse me for a second.” He disappeared behind the door. You rolled your eyes. You could understand he didn’t want a diplomatic incident, but he was close enough with the Matriarch to be specially invited by her to her coronation as the Matriarch. So what was the issue?

Spock slipped back into the room just as you were pondering those questions. He smiled and said, “Good news. Laarth has agreed to spare a very important person in her life to entertain you.”

This made you perk up. You smiled and asked, “Oh? Who is it?” You silently hoped it was not Vus. He seemed even more boring than your Commander. He was constantly just following his elder sister around. You only heard his deep voice once. It sounded as whiskey felt when you took a shot. You know he could talk more though because you could spot him often leaning over his shorter sister to whisper to her. 

“Vus,” your commander instantly killed your mood once more.

You yelled in frustration. “Why did you have to go and do that for? I’d much rather be with you. She probably trying to get rid of him because he bores her too!”

He quickly put a hand over your mouth, “Please not so loud. You are going to upset her.”

“Upset her,” You complained after pulling his hand away, “What is there to be upset about?! He’s dull, uninteresting and…”

Vus silently walked into the room. His demeanor showed no sign that he had heard you complaining about him. His curls draping over his forehead. His low voice rolled over the rest of the room, “Excuse me, I believe my sister assigned me to be your escort. Am I intruding?”

“No,” both you and your commander said in unison.

He nodded his head slightly and brought the corner of his bottom lip into his mouth for just a second before responding, “They are setting up the booths around the town if you would like to join me.” His dark eyes wouldn’t meet your gaze.

You stared at him a moment in a trance. Was he always like that, since you’ve seen him? You felt a sharp pain in your side bringing you back to what you were supposed to be doing. “Oh,” you immediately released at the pain. You looked up at the man once more, “Yes. I would enjoy that very much.”

He nodded and hurried out, “I will give you time with the attendants to help you get into more suitable clothes.”

“Why I,” You started after him. You got cut off by your commander looking at you sternly. You sneered back at him as a reply but walked back to your room without arguing. Standing at your door awaited two attendances with a traditional Vulcan jacket and pants. You grabbed the outfit and dismissed them deciding you knew how to get dressed.

After a while, Vus knocked on the door and walked in without waiting for an answer. He looked down at you. He raised a brow and stated, “You didn’t use an attendant I sent for you.”

“Why would I,” you asked. Everything was on. That was all that was needed, right?

Vus motioned with his hand as an offer to help. You saw no reason to decline so you accepted. He made you turn and he started to untie the belt holding the front pieces together. “Those are backward,” He stated before walking out to allow you decency.

You stared at him as he walked away. He held his hands in front of him as he walked away. His jacket really fit him well. It showed off his wide shoulders compared to his waist. Did he work out? Do Vulcans work out? You shook your head of those thoughts. Did it really matter that the front panels were backward? You fixed it nonetheless and walked out. You looked at Vus, who was waiting for you right outside the door.

“Much better,” He commented. He turned away from you and called back, “Please keep up.” He was already heading down the stairs.

You hurried behind him. “So,” you asked, “why was that so important?”

“You don’t want people to think you are married to a dull, uninteresting bore, would you,” he kept posing questions but in a tone that was more just statements. 

You flushed in embarrassment. So he had heard the comments. You fumbled over yourself trying to come up with something to say, “L-listen I...”

He interrupted you, “It’s fine. I take no offense. I do not believe either one of us appreciate this.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion. “You have preferences,” the question slipped out before you could stop yourself. You could just hit your head in frustration at yourself.

“Do you not communicate with your superior officer often,” He asked back. He reached the door and bowed his head to one of the other Vulcans before putting his arm around the small of your back and guiding you out in front of him.

Feeling his hand guiding you made you feel vulnerable. His large hands were so gentle, yet foreboding. They were so quick to lead you to where he wanted then to disappear from you. Your skin burned from the lack of his touch staying there. Your eyes traced his strong jawline as he slowed to allow you to walk ahead. His harsh eyes motioned for you to speed up.

“I would like to be back before sundown so please quicken your pace and decision making,” his authoritative voice pulled you back into the focus of what you were doing. 

You rolled your eyes at him, “Are you always this impatient?”

He was quick to reply with, “I just expect more from an officer of Starfleet. You are rumored to be very decisive when faced with a dilemma. I believe I should correct these assumptions now though. Clearly it was just propaganda.” He stopped by a booth to order something you couldn’t make out since he was speaking in his native tongue.

Anger bubbled up within you. “Do you have a problem,” you hissed.

“I believe you are mistaken,”  Vus paid the woman and past you a stick with cooked food on it while he kept one for himself, “I am simply making an observation. I do not mean to offend. Though I must admit, I did have much more important matters I was attending before I was mandated to make sure you do not cause a disastrous diplomatic incident.”

You made a face, “If it were so important, I do not believe they would have spared you.”

“On the contrary,” Vus replied, “My sister has a notable soft spot and a logical foully when it comes to your Commander.” His lips rested tenderly on one of the pieces of his portable meal as he expertly bit into it. The juices dripped into his mouth and glazed his lips.

You thought for a moment, “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, I was the only other person in the room when he asked if she could spare anyone to escort you.”

“You’re telling me,” you realized, “That she chose you because she forgot other people existed when Spock walked into the room.”

Vus fell silent. You could infer that you must have been correct, but he didn’t want to confirm. He instead walked to a booth with some flowers and started talking to them. You sighed knowing that the conversation was over. You leaned against the side of the booth and looked around at the busy street. You were surprised to see so many bustling people around. You used this time to watch how the Vulcan’s interacted with each other. Many of them seemed to be somber despite the festivities going on around them. You looked towards your escort.

You asked, “Is this common?”

Vus looked around and then asked, “May I have a clarification of what you are referring?”

“Everyone seems...upset,” You commented, “On edge.”

Vus replied, “Maybe you are misunderstanding.”

“No,” You stopped him, “I am not. What is wrong?”

Vus looked around. He grasped your arm and pulled you into a more private area. A flicker of aggravation sparked within his eyes, “You realize what this is correct?”

“A coronation,” you asked.

He nodded and said, “Our planet is gone. Many of us lost loved ones on Vulcan. We must move forward. Some of us are losing people in this process.” He read your confused reaction and sighed. “I lost my sister and my mother when we lost Vulcan.”

You shook your head, “But your sister…”

“She is a leader now. You don’t know what that means,” He slammed his fist into a nearby building, “She lost her life so that she could step up. For many people, they lost their leader of over 100 years. Do you think she is ready to step into that place? She’s midway into her twenties! She had a good 40 years before this. She had at least 20 years to be Ambassador and before that 20 years being an apprentice.”

You reached to touch him. 

He was shaking violently. Suddenly he looked at his hands, took a deep breath, and stopped. He looked at you. “I believe it will be best if we get back.”

There was silence walking back to the house. He walked ahead. He seemed farther away than he was before. His hair was disheveled. You wanted to grab onto him to let him know that it was okay. 

Upon arriving, Vus stormed past his sister without saying a word to her welcome. He just rushed up the stairs and hid away within his room once more. You, panting, stopped. You doubled over trying to catch your breath. Laarth’s soft touch pet your back. Her small nimble fingers ran down to soothe you. “Oh, is everything alright,” She asked.

You shook your head and looked up at her. She was so gentle, yet her stoic face held an aura that demanded respect. You explained what had happened. You licked your dry lips trying to stay hydrated.

“Why don’t we get you some water,” She asked motioning to one of the attendants to grab some while she walked with you. She held your hands while the two of you walked, “You know, Vus has always been my closest confidant.” She thanked the attendant for the water and handed you the cool glass.

You took a sip. Everything about this moment felt refreshing. What about her made you feel so complacent, you wondered to yourself. You spoke up and asked, “Is he?”

Laarth nodded and smiled, “We were both lonely children before we met. I believe because somewhere deep inside our Katra were calling to each other. So when I first came to Vulcan, we bonded very quickly. Our mother wasn’t the most…” Laarth thought for a moment, “loving individual. But I had my father for 8 years prior so I was able to help Vus.”

Your brow furrowed, “Help him?”

“Yes, emotional suppression through logic comes very hard for him,” She continued to explain, “He has always been very tender and gentle. The weight of the world always was on his shoulders. He never believed I should be thrust into this position or work with Sarek. He often came home from school with bruises and cuts that I would have to clean up.”

You sat at the garden table she lead the two of you towards. “Was he bullied,” you asked. You had no idea he was actually this troubled. He just seemed like an arrogant self-centered ass.

She shook her head, “The other Vulcan children didn’t like that I was shown preferential treatment. I was allowed out of school and studied at a very young age to follow Sarek’s teachings.”

You finally put it together. He loved and missed the world where it was just him and his sister against the world. Now it was just him. He must have been so lonely. Now that she mentioned it. You remembered seeing his reaction to her embrace from after the Vulcan explosion. You had never seen him more relaxed. His head resting against hers. His hair wet with sweat and face covered with soot. He was so dirty and messy. Yet, you could feel nothing but contentedness radiating from him at that moment. You stood. You thanked Laarth for her guidance and asked to take your leave.

Vus didn’t show up for dinner that night. He apparently locked himself in his room completely. You felt hurt. You stood outside his door trying to come up with something to say. You couldn’t tell anyone how long you were there. It felt both as if it had been an eternity yet not long enough for you to settle out what you wanted to say. The world kept moving around you though. Night slowly crept across the house. You were sitting across the hall from his door when you heard it. 

Gentle piano music waft through his door. It was so quiet. You snuck in to listen to him play. 

“Afraid to be alone again,” he lowly sang, “I hate this” He continued as he played, “I'm trying to find a way to chill,” His playing and voice slowly grew, “I can't breathe oh. Is there somebody who could,” You heard his voice crack a bit, “Help me, it's like the walls are caving in. Sometimes I feel like giving up. No medicine is strong enough. Someone help me.” His voice just kept growing, “I'm crawling in my skin. Sometimes I feel like giving up. But I just can't.” He paused for a beat before his fingers pounded on the keys. His heart was screaming. “It isn't in my blood,” he repeated, “It isn't in my blood. I need somebody now. I need somebody now. Someone to help me out. It isn’t in my blood.” His sweat and tears fell upon the keys as he focused all of his emotions. You could tell his jaw was clenching between breaths. He slowed his playing to just as faint as a hummingbird’s flight. “It isn’t in my blood.” His voice wasn’t much louder than his playing. He panted as he cooled off from playing his heart out.

Your voice spoke up and said, “I’m sorry.” Your own cheeks wet with tears.

.

.

.

After that day, you were inseparable. He was relaxed. His quiet nature seemed more endearing to you and every once and a while, he would lead over to whisper into your ear about hilariously mean observations he had made. You had a hard time not having fun around him. He even seemed to talk more to Spock. This made you smile. He seemed to be getting over his grudge against the other man. 

You rest your head against his shoulder as the two of you danced at the end of the coronation. Your heart ached to know you were going to have to leave soon. Your commanding officer and you couldn’t stay on New Vulcan forever, as much as you wanted to now. 

Vus’ splendid low voice purred into your ear, “What’s wrong?” He kept the dance going but his hand held your body closer to his taller one. 

“I am leaving soon,” you whispered into his chest.

“Ah,” Vus sighed, “Yes about that.”

You clung onto him, “I don’t know if I want to be without you now.”

You felt him nod. He ran his fingers through your hair, “I can understand that feeling, but…”

“Is there any way I can extend my time here?”

His chest vibrated with his laughter, “No. Starfleet would not appreciate it… Especially since Laarth already made another special request.”

You looked up at him, “What is that?”

“Apparently it was...implied… that I was needed aboard the Enterprise to make sure everything stayed in order with Commander Spock aboard.”

Your eyes lit up, “Really?”

Vus nodded, “I do need to finalize some of the paper work. I do not know if I can be spared from my duties here.”

You brushed your lips against his for a split second before teasing, “But sir, you are my emotional support Vulcan.”

He smiled and pressed his index and middle finger against yours, “You goon.” He pressed his forehead against yours. A content sigh released from his lips as his eyes closed.

[og-danny-dorito]

Spock Headcanons (There's No Reason This Time I Swear)

S F W: 

- I don't even know why I like him so much I just do, but my dumb gay ass just loves this man. seriously no kidding

- spock is a child of two worlds; an outcast but a familiar part of both systems in their actuality, residing as the cross section between Vulcan and human that was frowned upon for so long. his intelligence was left unconsidered as he passed all of his classes with excellence, being known as not the intelligent Vulcan boy but as the dysfunctional human hybrid of a being

- so obviously he's probably got some insecurities

- they're not bad, but he tends to be a bit self deprecating sometimes when referring to capability of things. for instance if you ask him if he can say uhhh.... if he can draw something for example. he’ll most likely state that he has no talent or not enough skill or his previous artwork was terrible so he doesn't suggest asking him for it. 

- he knows what he logically isn't and is capable of, but the human doubt still crawls in the back of his mind like a parasite. he still feels emotions, just less outwardly, he's definitely capable of feeling and if you are observant enough you'll notice that he expresses himself through very very small gestures

- when he quirks a brow at something he either finds it surprising or he's being sarcastic, two things which don't happen often (except the latter)

- he's very private, obviously, but is still open to conversation about his interests. mostly he says that he just reads and works in his spare time, but that's not exactly the truth

- when he has nothing else to do, spock finds interest in cat videos and cat videos only. seriously, he'll watch them for hours if he's not got nothing to do, just staring at the screen in silence as he watches cats do stupid cute things like they're the most interesting beings in the world

- he secretly would like a cat as a pet, but yknow it's not really easy to keep pets on Starfleet considering he doesn't want to deprive the animal of connectivity with nature

- can and will debate you about whether cats or dogs are better. sulu once said he thought cats were problematic in spock’s general area of 10 feet in diameter and there was a very heated debate that went on for a good hour or so before sulu got frustrated and decided to just let him win

- spock also likes weird and exotic plants considering that their chemical composition is interesting. he finds it fascinating that different planets use the plants around them for food or medical treatment or a number of other things, so he finds that a way to start off with a culture study is to study the biotany of the planet first

- had NEVER seen a cactus before coming to earth, and now has like 10 of them just sitting in his quarters. he'll never tell anyone but they're named after the constellations that can be seen from Vulcan. he's just a nerd I swear

- Shakespeare nerd, although that's  fact not a headcanon

- romantically I think he'd have fairly bad self worth issues. a lot of the time he views himself as unworthy of his partner, and he'll have trouble with physical contact the first few times mainly because he doesn't exactly know what to do with himself

- not much for pda at all. he says it's because it's indecent, but it's really because he gets all flustered when you kiss his cheek or snake your fingers around his in public where there are people all around. he gets super embarrassed and it's cUTE

- wouldn't have a favorite part of his partner physically; he's genuinely only attracted to the mind. male or female or not even using that gender binary, if you fit whatever standard he holds for intelligence and actually love him he doesn't care what you physically are

- vulcans bond through souls so appearance basically doesn't matter. this doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive, it just means he wouldn't care if you weren't. he loves everything about you anyway, beautiful or not to the world around you both

- you could call him pansexual and I feel like he prefers someone with a more feminine or elegant way of handling themselves. someone that generally is elegant and cunning seriously catches his attention, and on top of that someone who can and will openly challenge him genuinely makes him intrigued and enrapt with you

- he does kindof have a taste for people who can be reckless (cough Jim cough) due to impulse or bravery, seeing as he admires the fact that the person is willing to take a risk

- cannot be with someone closed off and cold, it just won't work cause he himself is basically a block of ice. he does feel but like barely, and even then he doesn't really show it

- one good way to tell the emotion is to look into his eyes. they speak more than he ever would about his feelings to anyone out loud

- writes poetry to give as presents to those he cares about; most commonly to lovers or his mom (at least he used to write for his mom, until she died). he writes actually very well, although his poetry is more structured than eloquent in a sense of interpretation and imaginativeness. he writes about things that he likes about you, which ends up describing all of you with very specific details you probably didn't realize until you read the lines

- appreciates art in all forms, although he's fairly certain he'd be bad at it. if you write stories or draw he's always open to helping you interpret characters or figure out a good way to express your own feeling through the ar if you're having trouble. encourages you to try new things with pretty much everything, but mostly art

- VERY very good at giving advice, he's basically the Strict Mom of the whole crew (I say strict mom because there are multiple different people who take the mom title, such as Leonard “Bones” McCoy; Stressed Mom). for instance if you're injured or being faced with mentally stressing conditions he'll most likely tell you to take breaks more often or suggest speaking about them to either your peers or to someone you trust. usually people go to him when they don't know what to do and he calculates the probabilities of each and suggest they put aside most emotional matters to think through it more clearly

- his ideal date would probably be like going to a museum or something, but all he’ll do is stay in a section with all the cool rocks and taxidermy animals while asking your opinion and knowledge on them curiously. he may know about pretty much everything in there but he doesn't care, he likes to watch you marvel at all the cool things in there

- 100% does buy the stuffed animals and figurines that are supposed to be models of stuff. yes, he knows that he can find that rock from that one planet practically anywhere but he still WANTS it because it GLOWS in the DARK

- probably would not think you're like seriously dating until the second month or so, mainly to calculate stability between you two

- is open to a marriage if he's been courting someone for a particularly long time, being at least three years or so. he's very very plan-oriented and organized and so he expects you to be lacking impulsiveness when making life-changing decisions

- bonding with his partner means the most to him in all honesty, though. it hold s such a high regard in his heart and soul that he genuinely feel s very very seriously and passionately about it. it's something he doesn't take with a grain of salt, mostly because he wants to be with the one he loves forever. you mean the world to him, and he wants to keep you as close as possible for as long as possible

- down to have kids, maybe a girl that he'd name Amanda, after his mother, or a boy named Grayson or some Vulcan name that you wouldn't be able to pronounce correctly without extensive practicing

- just thinks kids are nice, although he'd probably be a little hesitant and VERY protective

- OH and before I finish this is completely unrelated but I feel like he likes summer more than any other season since it reminds him of his homeland so much. that and he also likes that everything grows up nicely during this time

- his favorite flower is either the notch-leaf phacelia or the harvestbell mainly because he likes the colors and structure of them; he just thinks they look neat

- he'll get them for you whenever, most likely organize the flowers specifically himself for you, combining yours and his favorite flowers to look beautiful even though the could be completely different

- denies that he's a hopeless romantic, merely stating that he just wants you to know that he loves you by giving you poems and flowers 

- but we all know The Truth

- tbh he just cares a lot, although he's bad a thing showing emotions. Spock is calm and collected, but inside a whirlpool of thoughts flood his head daily. be patient with him and he'll open up over time, letting you see into the depths of the mind you'll come to cherish so deeply

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Thoughts on that (formerly?) annoying episode

Star Trek Season 1 Episode 24, This Side of Paradise, is (was) a frustrating episode for me. Spock, who up until this point has never explicitly shown romantic interest in anyone, falls in love with a girl. Not naturally though--no, he is drugged, and begs, on the ground, in agony, for her to stop the effects of the drug. When he finally gives in, then he appears to be free, but we know that he is certainly not himself.

Bones and Jim notice this as well, while talking to Spock over communicator, and Bones is immediately concerned, thinking Spock might be in trouble. What is Spock up to? He's chilling out with his girl.

It had really really really bothered me, though, that when all is said and done, and Spock has gone back to normal, and he is asked about what he has to say about his experience, he says, "For the first time in my life, I was happy." This was super frustrating and hurtful for me, because I relate to Spock's lack of romantic interest very deeply. (I perceive him to be aroace, but other interpretations are, of course, valid.) Is he really saying that all the good times he's had on the Enterprise, all the moments he's shared with Jim and Bones--all the companionship he has found in them isn't enough? That he has never been happy? That he needed to find a girl before he could be? What does that say about someone like me, who is aroace?

It especially bothered me because Spock only explicitly expresses romantic feelings when he is fundamentally not himself, and he recognizes this as well. (This post is already long, so I'll skip the details, but if you're curious, let me know.) Something deep and intrinsic about him is changed, and then he expresses romantic feelings--which further convinces me that he is aromantic. So why was he repeatedly subjected to this invasive altering of his identity? Was he not sufficient as he was? It felt humiliating to watch him behave in ways I knew he would never behave when he was himself. And it definitely felt like the producers were pushing him into a relationship to "fix him" and show his "human side".

But then I looked at it deeper, and I realized that maybe that's not what was going on at all.

While it is likely that a heteronormative message was intended, part of art is its interpretation, and I am choosing to internalize the other narrative that I see. And before we get going, a warning (if you haven't gotten it already): this is a long post. I'm on mobile and can't figure out how to make a "read more".

Firstly, I will say that aside from the romantic element, the episode had very good moments. Especially when Kirk confronts Spock, and you can tell that Spock is holding himself back, and doesn't want to believe that Jim means what he's saying, and he's utterly shocked that Jim would ever say something like that--and particularly that he uses the word "half-breed". (Spock, in an earlier episode, had actually told Jim that it disturbs him to hear that word from someone so close to him...essentially, he admitted that it hurts him. Jim hadn't outright said that he wouldn't use the word again, but it was clear that he knew the damage it could cause and that he had only used it as a last resort.)

But it gets more interesting when we consider what Spock actually responds to, and what he avoids. Firstly, he responds to that word, which he even tries to make into a Spock-version of a joke ("While the term 'half-breed' may be partially accurate..."), using defensive humor instead of addressing his feelings about it. The other thing he responds to, which is the only thing he actually directly answers, is Jim's taunts about his parents. Equally notable is that he didn't respond to any taunts about his relationship with Leila (the girl) that had insinuated he was unable to truly love her. Jim makes several attacks on this front, calling Spock a "carcass," a "computer," a shell of someone "pretending to be a man". "Does she know what she's getting, Spock?!" Jim yells at him. Spock says nothing.

Here's the punch in the gut: Spock only responds to things he believes are wrong.

Spock fights back when Jim maligns his parents, he responds to anything that is factually incorrect. He responds to the word "half-breed" by calling it "partially accurate"--implying he believes it to not be fully apt, but equally, implying that it does have some truth in it...and when it comes to the other personal statements Jim makes, he is silent. He doesn't believe he has enough evidence to dispute Jim's outrageous claims--because a part of him believes it himself.

Not only does this offer insight into Spock's insecurities, it also supports my view of Spock as someone who doesn't have those romantic feelings. Spock hasn't lost his memory while under the influence of the spores, nor does he lose it after their effects are removed; he knows who he really is and how he really behaves. There is a part of him that is freed by being expressive, and that part mostly focuses on appreciating the beauty in things. He comments on how beautiful the clouds are, and rainbows--and yes, perhaps he finds Leila beautiful, but I think he does so from a purely aesthetic and (shall I say it?) scientific stance. He likes feeling free to admire and experience the beauty of things, her included. But deep down, he knows what he's feeling for Leila isn't really love.

He might even like the sensation of kissing her, but not because of any romantic feelings--rather, because it is so clearly and intimately linked with being known, being understood, being trusted; not just from a physical perspective, but (especially for the touch-telepathic Vulcans), an emotional one. That is what truly appeals to him.

Spock feels freed because his usual inhibitions are gone (forcibly battered down, but we'll say gone). So he swings around on a tree branch and does other equally wacky things, and he kisses someone and speaks causally and comments on the beauty of life. He wants to experience the things he's never let himself experience before, because he feels at home; he is accepted, and that frees him. But he knows, deep down, that the freed "Spock" is fundamentally different from the one we've come to know, the one Jim and Bones know, the one on the Enterprise.

That's why he doesn't disagree with Jim when he starts attacking Spock's ability to love. He knows he can't. He knows this freedom, really, is false--and he knows how it came about. Not by a choice of his own, but one forced on him. Nevertheless, he is desperately attached to one particular aspect of that freedom. Just look at what he says as soon as the effects are broken.

First, he says to Jim, "You did that to me on purpose." An interesting choice of words, that belies his now emotionless facade. "You did that to me" acknowledges there was something inflicted on you that you did not want...in a way, that statement alone is Spock's guarded way of saying, "That hurt me. And you knew it would hurt me. I could not believe you would do such a thing...but now, I begin to understand..." And honestly, his face says the same thing. He's shaken up, he looks a little dazed; he's trying to reframe what happened--Jim didn't suddenly hate him for being how he was, it was a calculated move, meant to help him. But, it was clear that Jim didn't want Spock to stay that way. There was a Spock Jim knew, and he wanted (and needed) him back. The "freed" part of Spock needed to be repressed again, or at least that's how Spock saw it.

Think I'm way off base? Listen to what he says next:

"I don't belong anymore."

The entire episode, there's been a repeated mentioning of "understanding", of "being one of us"--but Spock is the only one that calls being affected by the spores "belonging". (Even if he wasn't the only one, it wouldn't detract from the importance of that statement.) His entire life, he has desperately wanted to be loved, known, accepted, and to feel at home, and he never had been able to be fully himself. He was always keeping a part of himself under wraps--not a romantic part, but a sentimental, emotional, free-spirited one. On Omicron Ceti III, Spock was finally able to express that part of himself and find only acceptance for it. Even though he knew the truth of why he was able to do that, he loved being loved and accepted so much that he couldn't bear to give it up.

He even begged Jim to stay with him--and you know what he said the spores offered? "There is belonging...and love..." (The theme of belonging returns again.) And is that a surprise? Unconditional love and acceptance, a sense of belonging--of course Spock would treasure those things; he has been searching for them his whole life! And of course he would want to share them with Jim too; even aside from the spores influencing everyone to infect each other, he is clearly more able to express his fondness for Jim, since during the entire time Spock is affected by the spores, he never once calls him Captain--only "Jim". He has always wanted this closeness, this openness, and he finally found it. It's no wonder that he seemed so heartbroken when Jim broke the spell of the spores--that feeling of belonging, despite how much he treasures the people on the Enterprise, was gone. Not for any lack of care from Jim or Bones or anyone else, but because he had never been able to accept himself before. If the spores hadn't forced him to, he never would have; now that they were gone, he found that he could not do so again.

When he says to Leila, as she realizes that he does not love her and has gone back to being who he really is, "If there are self-made purgatories, we all must live in them. Mine can be no worse than any other," he is not saying "I can't love you because I'll be going away on this ship and that wouldn't be logical." He's saying, "I know a lot of how I am, my refusal to express certain things, stems from how I see myself." In a way, his purgatory is indeed self-made. I don't believe this applies to his romantic feelings, or lack of them--they are not a decision--but instead to the freedom that came with accepting who he is.

And that is why the final line of the episode no longer bothers me. Jim gently nudges him by saying, "We still haven't heard much from you about Omicron Ceti III," and Spock replies, "I haven't much to say about it," pauses, and says,

"Only that...for the first time in my life, I was happy."

I had originally thought that he was saying he was happy because he had "found love", but now I see what he was really saying.

For the briefest of instants, he felt what it was like to love himself.

[douxreviews]

Star Trek: Discovery - ‘If Memory Serves’ Review

Spock: "I am not here to absolve you, Michael Burnham."

By nature I love brevity: Star Trek: Discovery plays to its strengths here, delivering a well-paced, measured episode that hits on the nostalgia factor in just the right ways. 'If Memory Serves' is a noticeable improvement over the rest of this season, which was in turn already an improvement over the previous season.

The first and probably most notable quality of this episode is the nostalgic air it has. From the very retro 'Previously on Star Trek' segment at the beginning, bringing us up to speed on the events of 'The Cage,' to the well-placed sound and music cues from the same episode, 'If Memory Serves' displays a clear and respectful knowledge of what's come before. Yet there is the distinct sense that something new is being accomplished, that we're not just uselessly retreading the past. This can be seen in the technical upgrades given to the Talosians, their singing plants, and the planet itself. Not only this, we're going deeper, if not to new places, with Pike and Vina. Anson Mount and Melissa George effectively recapture the old dynamic that Jeffrey Hunter and Susan Oliver brought, but they also lend new aspects to the relationship. Vina, it seems, is happy with the illusory Pike that she's been provided, as 'The Cage' and 'The Menagerie' implied, yet throughout Melissa George's performance there is a tinge of longing for the real thing. Pike can't seem to get Vina out of his head, and his deep-seated desire to return to her is clear in this episode. This new connection to the characters also makes 'The Menagerie' all the more resonant.

We'll get to Burnham and Spock in a moment, but first I want to explore the stuff with Culber and Stamets. I've said for a while now that Culber's character in Season One existed really only in service of Stamets' character. Culber wasn't really all that much of a character in his own right. But here, since his return, the writers and Wilson Cruz have given Culber a depth and an arc that he never had before. I'm just sorry that poor Stamets has to suffer the consequences of this. I can definitely see where they are both coming from here. The loss of Culber was so devastating for Stamets, and his return so filled with joy and hope, that of course he would be overeager and take things too fast or too far. Another viewer pointed out to me that Stamets is very good at helping other people with their emotional and relational problems, but he doesn't seem to have the same clarity when it comes to his own. This is all too human. Likewise, Culber feels like a stranger in his own skin. The need to be himself, combined with the feeling that he's not himself anymore, would of course compel him to make changes and shifts in his life. Despite the temporary rift, I don't think it's over for Stamets and Culber. The good doctor will have to figure out who he is now that he has returned, but once he does so, I expect he will return to his love.

Poor Ash Tyler is becoming more and more a victim of his circumstances as time goes on. First he had to deal with the fact that he had betrayed his entire crew without his knowledge, and he's still reaping the consequences of that. He must also face the fact that another person is lurking inside his psyche, just waiting to come out. This is visible in his defensive fight with Dr. Culber. If Tyler had been more aggressive, if he'd attacked Culber more directly, it's possible that Voq would have come out, and he has no idea what will happen in that case. Let's just say for now that it's a bad idea to proVoq him, and leave it at that. And now he must deal with the mistrust of the entire crew, for something he didn't do. Though I don't expect it to last long, as evil Airiam's reveal appears to be next episode, this will have to really damage the tentative trust he's built with Captain Pike all this season.

It doesn't help matters that his superiors at Section 31 are becoming less trustworthy by the minute. Leland and Georgiou seem to be headed for a substantial standoff, and I'm honestly not sure whose victory would be worse for the crew. Georgiou is upstaging Leland at every turn, even garnering more respect from the Admiralty, and Leland has to be frustrated. I wonder if the boiling point will be reached this season, or if we'll have to wait for the Section 31 series to see the conclusion of this storyline.

This brings us to the main event - Burnham and Spock. Their relationship has been set up as the focal point of the season since 'Brother,' and so far it has not disappointed. The scene where young Burnham hurt young Spock felt very real, and every word hurt because of how we know it must have damaged Spock. Burnham represented Spock's human side, and when she burned him to get him to stay away from her, he rejected his humanity also and dove deep into his Vulcan, logical half. Now that logic has failed to help him make sense of what the Angel showed him, Spock is a broken man searching for something to ground him. I expect that in the end, Burnham will be right; her relationship with Spock will be the thing that ties him to reality. In time, Spock will realize that his relationships in general are his guiding star, with the help of a certain up-and-coming young starship captain and his crew.

I have to give props to T.J. Scott for his direction here. Unlike many of the recent episodes, Scott's fancy camerawork and effects serve a legitimate artistic purpose, like the tilting, twisting camera during the Section 31 sequences to emphasize the uncertain and shifting world of 31, or the lens flares that accompanied Talosian illusions. The episode also spends an appropriate amount of time on the key emotional moments, something that episodes like 'Saints of Imperfection' have failed to do. The pace here is slow and measured, which is a relief after the frantic and rushed feeling of the last few episodes.

Strange New Worlds:

Talos IV first appeared in the unaired pilot of TOS, 'The Cage.' The rendering of the planet in this episode looked very similar to the painting used for it in the original episode.

New Life and New Civilizations:

The Talosians had a huge war on their planet, which drove them underground. When they developed their remarkable mental powers, they became addicted to the pleasures illusion could provide and forgot how to interact with the real world. The illusions they present to anyone who approaches Talos IV help them to relearn, and they are still searching for someone to learn their technology and save their race.

Pensees:

-According to Melissa George, she recorded some of Vina's original lines from 'The Cage,' which were then dubbed in alongside Susan Oliver's voice in the recap at the beginning.

-I'm pretty sure this is Pike's first Captain's log. Come to think of it, I don't think Lorca ever did it either.

-Dang it, more Vulcan Admirals. Look, guys, if Spock was the first Vulcan in Starfleet, and the only one at the time of TOS, there can't be Vulcan admirals.

-I loved Tilly leaning out of her 'office' on the bridge.

-The sound effects for the singing plants and the Talosians' illusions, as well as some of the music cues, were taken from 'The Cage.'

-Spock has been experiencing time as fluid due to the Red Angel.

-Spock mind-melded with the Angel, revealing to him that whoever is in the suit is human.

-The ships that blew up all those planets in Spock's vision looked an awful lot like the upgraded probe from 'Light and Shadows' last week. Hmmmm...

-Mental hospitals in television shows should really give their patients paper in addition to writing utensils. Just a thought.

-Of course, Spock didn't kill the people he's accused of killing. Did 31 kill them when they got there?

-Were those Reno's drones cleaning up from Culber and Tyler's fight?

-Starbase 11 is two lightyears from Talos IV

-I don't think we've seen two ships get a transporter lock on the same person at the same time before.

-I liked Burnham cocking the eyebrow at Spock's smile.

Quotes:

Georgiou: "Why would I lie?" This was only funny because of who was saying it.

Vina: "In some ways, Captain Pike never left."

Stamets: "I think what you're experiencing is a form of neutralizing shock." Culber: "It's not that simple, Paul!"

Spock: "Is there a valuable question in your arsenal?" Burnham: "Yes. Do you really think the beard is working?"

Pike: "This is real." Vina: "As real as it needs to be."

Culber: "I'm not letting anyone fix what I feel."

Illusion-Burnham: "Say goodbye, Spock." Illusion-Spock: "Goodbye, Spock." Anyone else glad this was an illusion? I saw it in a promo, and it didn't feel right. That's more of a Data line.

Georgiou: "Those Talosians tried this trick with me in the Terran universe once, and I blew them, and their stupid singing plants, off the face of the planet."

Best of the season so far. 5.5 out of 6 stupid singing plants.

CoramDeo is an ugly bag of mostly water, and proud of it.

[mybullshitsensesaretingling]

Abrasive

Request: Hey, I just wanted to say I'm a big fan of your work and I was wondering if you can write another spock x reader imagine where spock and reader hate each other but that's because they don't know how to express their feelings for each other and Jim locks them into the same room?Thank you😊 - @mateapejic17mp

A/N: Sorry this one took so long. I was trying figure out how to make it different than the last one.

“I’m a grown adult, Jim. I don’t have to be friends with anyone I don’t want to be,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Isn’t that the exact opposite of your job description?” he asked as he sorted through the pile of PADDs on his desk.

“I’m a diplomate, not a pleasure planet entertainer,” you snapped.

“No need to get snippy. I just think the six months you have to spend with us would go smoother if you got along with my first officer.”

You sucked in a deep breath and when you let it out a small, forced smiled pulled at your lips.

“Fine,” you said, “I’ll play nice.”

“You’re not going to though, are you?”

“No.”

Jim sighed and rubbed his face roughly with his hands.

You raised your shoulders. “Sorry.” Dropping your eyeline to your hands and starting to pick at your nails, you continued, “He just really grates my cheese.”

“Does he?” You could hear the laugh he was holding back.

“Like cheddar.” You stood up, preparing to leave. “And I refuse to - on principle - get along with him.”

“We’ll see about that,” he said as you walked out.

-

With three PADDs, two empty coffee cups, and one full one set out in front for you, you dove deeper into your work. A coworker’s voice came in an endless stream from one of the PADDs. You nodded along as she spoke, your figures working tirelessly on the other two screens.

“I was not aware you were in here,” Spock stated from the doorway.

“Jim said I could work in here,” you told him without looking up.

“I’ll come back later.” You heard him turn to go back through the door but instead of the usual swoosh sounding from it, an angry beep went off.

Now you looked up.

“What was that?”

“It appears the door has been locked,” he said.

“So unlock it,” you said returning to your work.

“I can’t.” You looked back up at him, prompting him to explain, “It has been locked using a code I do not have the clearance to.”

“Mary, I’m going to have to call you back,” you said to your coworker before ending the subspace transmission being displayed on your screen.

“I’ll contact the captain, explain that a mistake has been made,” Spock announced as he reached for the communicator.

“There was no mistake,” you sighed, leaning back in your chair. “We’ve been tricked.”

Spock’s eyes moved back and forth between you and the locked door trying to put it together.

“Jim,” he started slowly, “did this in an effort to get us to get along.”

“Well, get the man a prize,” you snarked.

“Perhaps Jim would not have found this necessary if it were not for your aggressive personality.” He turned back to the door, thinking up a way to get out. “Then we could both get back to work.”

The corner of your mouth twitched despite yourself. “And he bites back.”

Spock had no visible reaction to your comment.

“Might as well sit down and get comfortable; we’re going to be here for a while.” You tapped on one of your screens.

“You’re not going to try to appease the captain?” he asked.

“No, because while Jim seems to have confused our lives for an after school special where everyone can be friends, I’m grounded in reality enough to know that some people just aren’t meant for that.”

“You are suggesting that we are a pair of those people.” It wasn’t a question.

“You disagree?” you asked.

“Your stubborn and near immediate decision to dislike me has not left much room for me to disagree.”

You eyed him for a moment, before deciding to drop the conversation altogether. There was no point to it. You were a busy person and you didn’t have the time for any part of this situation.

It was hard to be productive while you were fighting to ignore Spock’s presence, commanding yet respectful, but you were determined to work through it. That was until the error notification showed up on your screen.

Letting out a load groan of frustration, you repeatedly hit the refresh button, knowing that it wouldn’t do anything.

“What are you doing?” Spock asked critically.

A message popped up on your PADD.

Jim T. Kirk:

Talk to him.

“Your dear captain cut off my connection to the server.” You tossed your PADD back on the table and added from between your teeth, “He’s insisting we talk.”

Raising an eyebrow, Spock waited in silence to see where you chose to go from there, his brown eyes - that you hated - studying you.

With a heavy sigh you made your decision, “I suppose we have no choice.”

“Shall we start with your distaste for me?” he asked crossing his arms. The sharp personality that you decided he had from the first look was in stark contrast with his soft features, which, just for the record, you also hated.

“I thought we’d dip our toes in, but okay, sure, let’s dive right into the deep end.” You straightened up in your chair. “You’re very abrasive.”

“I don’t see how that could be a valid reason given that you, yourself are quite abrasive.”

You narrowed your eyes, but found you couldn’t argue.

“You’re cold,” you offered as another reason.

“I do not believe my body temperature varies greatly from that of a human.”

You rolled your eyes. “No, closed-off. Indifferent. Unfeeling.”

“Now you are just demonstrating your ignorance of Vulcan culture.”

“Am I?” You crossed your arms, mirroring his posture.

“Vulcans are far from unfeeling.”

“Is this the part where you explain to me how ancient Vulcans were out of control because of their emotions and Surak saved the whole species with meditation? Because I’m already bored.”

He made a face that didn’t quite line up with any human expression.

“I’m sorry, that came off far more xenophobic than I intended.” You uncrossed your arms. “I understand that both your culture and biology play a role in how you display emotions and I’m sure it is just a matter of getting used to you, but honestly I’ve met plenty of Vulcans - and goldfish for that matter - that were better conversationalists than you.”

“You’re very up front with your opinions.”

You scoffed. “Because you’re so good at keeping yours to yourself?”

It was at this point that you were beginning to fully understand Jim’s reasoning behind locking the two of you in there. The realization of how fundamentally similar you and Spock were angered you more than anything Spock had ever actually said to you.

“I am not nearly as aggressive when presenting them,” Spock said.

“I prefer passionate.”

“You choose some odd things to be passionate about.”

“You don’t choose passion. It finds you,” you told him. “And it found me everywhere. It’s what makes me so good at my job.” You bit your lip and admitted in a quieter tone, “And really bad at it.”

“I don’t see how you can be both good and really bad at something.”

“Mmm. It is a gift,” you mused. “This trick is to be so amped up about things that you get others amped up and make them agree with you but then start fights when people don’t agree with you. Because you’re amped up.”

“I see,” Spock said simply.

With an absent minded hum, you reach for one of your screens, but your hand stopped halfway through its journey, when he spoke up again.

“Have you considered not fighting?”

You let out a breathy chuckle. “I have actually.”

“It was unsuccessful?” he asked in earnest.

“Doing my job without arguing would be like you doing yours without… I dunno, a microscope.”

“Fascinating.”

“Ya know, you have a great untapped potential as a debater,” you said as you grabbed a PADD that had pinged.

Jim T. Kirk:

See, you’re getting along. I was totally right to do this.

You quickly typed out a response.

(Y/N):

I’m punching you in the knee cap when I get out of here.

Jim T. Kirk:

And you’ll be totally justified.

“Is that Jim?” Spock asked.

“Why are we friends with him?” you asked instead of answering his question.

“I believe he conned us into it,” he said evenly.

You barked out a loud laugh. One of your hands flew up to cover your mouth as you stared at the man in surprise. He raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. You lowered your hand an inch or two.

“Was that a joke?”

“It was merely a statement. Any humor you found in it was unintentional,” he told you.

“I’m sure,” you chuckled.

“Vulcans do not joke.”

“Maybe not. But you’re half human and you’re,” you pointed a finger at him, “funny.”

Your PADD pinged again.

Jim T. Kirk:

Tell him you like his butt.

“What sort of repercussions would I face if I kill someone while aboard this ship?” you asked, still glaring at Jim’s message.

“You would be placed in the brig until we reach the nearest starbase where you would be handed of to Federation authorities. From there you would be brought back to Earth where there would be a trial, presumably resulting in jail time,” Spock explained.

“So just the regular repercussions then? Good to know.” You set the PADD back on the table without responding to his message. “Did he have a little talk to you about me before locking us in here?”

“Yes. He seemed to believe my displeasure with you was a thinly veiled disguise for my romantic feeling for you.”

“Did he?”

“At the time, I very strongly disagreed.”

At the time? You tried to keep your cool, picking up your coffee cup to hide the whirlwind of thoughts that just started up in your mind.

“We had many similar conversations. Some of which shouldn’t be discussed in polite company.” You took a sip of your coffee that had long since grown cold.

“And did you agree with him?”

“I think it’s been well established that I like to argue.”

[1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt]

TOS Tag Game

OK for starters YAAASSS, feel free to tag me in these every time because I too want to talk endlessly about Star Trek TOS and am always excited to feed the fandom beast.

@burning--amber tagged me in this greatness -- I apologize for the delay but you know, I did have to find a publisher who would sign off on this fucking NOVEL. Because that is actually what I wrote in response. I am so sorry. 😂 When I say I’m here to talk Trek I MEAN I am HERE. To get up to the podium and PREACH THE GOSPEL. I encourage anyone following me who’s thirsty to talk TOS to jump aboard, tag me and give us the T! I want to hear from y’all! 

1. Which is the most defining moment for Spock and Jim as couple, in your opinion? One which left you most shaken?

Wow, yes. Ohhhh no. Let’s talk about this. (Who let me out of my cage?) There are so many strong moments in TOS, my GOD. Amok Time is the most infamous and blatant, you can’t really skate over that big guy because -- because -- YOU KNOW WHY. IT’S AMOK TIME. This is the elephant in the room which will stomp you to death if you ignore it. I can’t let myself write a paper with a works cited list on Amok Time right now, I just can’t. That episode -- I mean -- it was literally getting sucker punched in the junk with a slash fandom awakening. Kirk sacrificing command? His career? Risking his life?! Spock becoming completely void, utterly gutted, and a husk of a destroyed existence in the aftermath of what he believed to have actually done to Jim? I don’t know how it’s possible for anyone to watch that episode and not get steamrolled into a human pancake at how real and obvious the Spirk relationship became right then and there. IN THE 60′S! Yup just bros though, just bro things. 

I did let myself practically write a paper on how huge Devil in the Dark was for Kirk and Spock -- you get to see two individuals who each have a valid point, who both believe fiercely in their own standpoint, and who ultimately end up adopting one another’s views. It’s a beautiful demonstration of what they mean to each other as equals and as individuals -- how in sync they are and what a significant mutual respect they share. 

Throughout the series you’re hearing and witnessing Kirk’s rather open way of expressing affection for Spock. Plato’s Stepchildren is one of those rare opportunities where we get to see the depth of Spock’s feelings for Kirk via his own words and actions. And it is intense enough to make up for how difficult it can be sometimes to get a clear window into Spock’s perspective. It was all out there for anyone to see after Spock witnesses Kirk getting mistreated and nearly being made to inflict harm to Jim. You really get an understanding of just how powerful Vulcan emotion can be in that moment, and holy God, does he have strong feelings about Jim. 

But if we’re talking all-encompassing canon then for me the most defining moment for Spock and Kirk as a couple throughout the entire series has to be Spock’s epiphany in sickbay after making contact with V’Ger. We know something happened that catalyzed a rift and separation between Kirk and Spock, and this is the moment their whole relationship comes full circle. The look on his face as he’s lying there shaking his head and saying “Jim . . . I should have known.” Jim’s blatant desperation as he clasps Spock’s shoulders and begs: “Spock. What should you have known?” And Spock reaches for him. My heart drops through me every time he takes Jim by the hand, locking their grip as he stares him dead in the eyes and says: “This. Simple Feeling . . . is beyond V’Ger’s comprehension.” And Jim is overcome, bursting, and he wraps his other hand over their already entwined hands and just nods. Spock nods wordlessly back. That was acceptance. It was acknowledgement. It was forgiveness. It was walking through mental, physical and emotional hell with AND without someone and coming out on the other side again to find each other once more. It was fucking love. 

As for the one that left me the most shaken . . . it’s unquestionably the end of Wrath of Khan. From the moment that Jim looks over at that empty chair and you feel a shadow of that dread and realization, Jim pushing a member of his crew out of the way and the entire run down, having to take three men to hold him back from trying to go in there with Spock with tears in his eyes . . . I mean, when we love somebody -- truly, genuinely love somebody -- we might throw around the idea or firmly feel -- believe -- say -- that if given a choice, you’d die for that person. But in living that moment, Spock actually did exactly that out of love. He knew what had to be done and he decided to sacrifice himself for his own family -- for the whole crew of the Enterprise. But there was a reason that the sole person kneeling down in front of him weeping, reaching for him and seeking out his hand, hearing his last words, and sharing his last moments was Jim. It’s so powerful, so utterly heart shattering, such a raw and sad depiction of love, and it turns me into a hot human mess every time I see it. THE FRONT. OF THE SHIRT. IS SOAKED WITH MY TEARS. EVERY TIME.  Ahem. So uh, that just happened. There’s Chapter 1. I mean question 1. I swear to God I am not going to write chapter books for each one of these. *Wipes forehead nervously*

2. Which alien race deserved more? What do you think could have been improved upon?

Two episodes really stand out for me as outstanding in the quality of the story; I find Balance of Terror and The Enterprise Incident captivating.They sort of ghost around that decadent and dark history that Vulcans and Romulans share -- they let you see a bit of it, but there is a lot of mystery surrounding it. They pique your interest in wanting to get a better look at those cultures to understand them. Oh trust, I was beyond curious. I was frothing. I know that other Star Trek series have offered us more in terms of the Romulan backstory and history, but I really had a thirst to know more during TOS and I would latch onto whatever crumb they would toss out. Honestly, I would watch an entire series based entirely on ancient Vulcans and Romulans. I mean it, I am thirsty as hell. 

3. What is the most disappointing thing about TOS for you?

In all honesty? The fact that it got cancelled after three seasons!!! We were robbed. F u c k i n g   p i l f e r e d   b u t t   n a k e d. I’m sure there was so much ground to cover with the show that they never got a chance to bring into fruition and that frustrates me. If we’re talking some aspect within the show, those occasional moments with women that were so blatantly objectifying -- the ones that kind of jarringly reminded you that this was still made in the 60′s. I acknowledge the time it was made, but it still stings to see that sometimes if I am being entirely honest.

4. Who gets the Mr/Miss.Congeniality award if you were the judge?

I would have to say Uhura. She doesn’t get the kind of screen time that Kirk, Spock and Bones do, but I find the moments that she has with other characters to be very telling. How they react to her and treat her reveals a lot about how valuable and meaningful her presence is aboard the Enterprise. They all have such an immense love and respect for her. You just don’t really see confrontations with Uhura and other crew members -- it’s so rare compared to other members of the crew. She seems to be that person who brings brightness and light and joy to people who may be feeling very out of sorts, low on morale, or lonely in space. I also love that she canonically sings for the members of the crew to lift their spirits and help them unwind. There’s something so pure and warm about her character while also showcasing strength and professionalism in the same vein. 

5. Which section of Enterprise are you most curious to see which was never filmed?

The room, turbolift, or jeffries tube that Kirk and Spock would drag each other off to so they could make out, because we all know that it happened. (I digress. Truth be told, it was less about seeing a section of the Enterprise and more about getting a little more intimacy with the crew. I wish there had been more time for moments like seeing them getting ready before work, interacting with their rooms, showing us little glimpses of who they are and where they come from. So I guess having access to more on a personal level with the individuals -- the crew is the section of the Enterprise that I am most curious to see which was not filmed intimately enough to whet my curiosity about them.)

I have two questions.

1. What was the defining episode that you watched that made you go: Yup. I am 100% on board for this. WHERE ARE THE REST. I AM SOLD. THE CHEQUE IS CASHED, I HAVE MADE THE PURCHASE, GIVE ME THE STAR TREK.

Second . . . 

2. What. The fuck. Happened in the story between Season 3 and The Motion Picture. I legitimately live on a steady diet of fan theories about this and I’m starved to death. I don’t care if that dead horse has been beaten to glue, I can’t not talk about it. I love hearing what people have to say about that time period. Seriously. What happened between Jim and Spock. 

I WANT ANSWERS! I WANT THE TRUTH!

(You know that nobody could possibly know that and you also know that Gene Roddenberry passed away in 1991.)

*Grabs collar shakily* ASK HIM ANYWAY. 

ಠ▃ಠ . . . 

(¬▂¬) . . . 

I really should stop here. 

(No obligation, just love and admire your blogs! I’m curious what y’all have to say if you haven’t been tagged yet! <3: 

@queenofgol @ashayamspirk @thisisnotahetship @startrektrashface @demonicvulcan @pansexualspirk @homosexualspock @cptkirksnipples )

[aion-rsa]

Star Trek: In Defense of Enterprise’s Worst Episode

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Don’t worry, this isn’t a defense of “These Are The Voyages.”* We’re here today to talk about the other “worst episode of Enterprise,” season two’s “A Night In Sickbay.”

“The episode that killed Star Trek.” “One of the worst episodes of the whole Star Trek franchise.” “Almost as bad as ‘These Are The Voyages.’” These and similar opinions of “A Night In Sickbay” are all over the Internet. The episode frequently appears on “worst episodes of all time” lists alongside “Spock’s Brain” from The Original Series and Star Trek: Voyager’s “Threshold.”

I have no intention of arguing that this is a great or outstanding episode of Star Trek – it’s not. But nor is it anything like as bad as those other two notorious examples. Does anyone turn into a lizard? No. Do any crew members abduct other crew members to have lizard sex with them? No. Does anyone’s brain get taken out and yet their body still, inexplicably, functions? No. It’s about time we went over a few of the more common complaints about this episode, to see if it really deserves its terrible reputation.

Complaint 1: Archer behaves like an idiot, and no trained diplomat should behave the way he does.

The episode’s events are kicked off when Archer takes his dog Porthos down to an alien planet on a sensitive diplomatic mission, and then gets upset when the aliens are insulted because the dog peed on one of their sacred trees, while poor Porthos nearly dies after coming into contact with an alien pathogen.

Viewers have complained that Archer’s behaviour in this episode is childish, that no “trained diplomat” should ever think it was appropriate to bring a dog on a sensitive visit, and that the episode makes the Captain look like an idiot. He spends most of the time railing at the aliens, the Kreetassans, avoiding taking any responsibility for what happened, and suggesting that he might refuse to apologise.

Bringing Porthos may not have been the brightest idea in the world, but it isn’t the act of total idiocy critics have made it out to be either. Archer himself points out repeatedly that they told the Kreetassans he was planning on bringing Porthos, and the Kreetassans said nothing about their sacred trees, plus they endangered Porthos’ life by not running proper checks on his genome. Should Archer have known better than to try to bring the dog with him at all, considering an alien species may not understand the nature of the dog-human relationship? Yes, and T’Pol tells him as much in the episode. Is he completely irredeemably stupid for thinking that he’d taken appropriate precautions and wanting to give his dog some exercise? No.

Archer’s reactions are also aggravated by the fact that the Kreetassans are, to put it mildly, gigantic pains in the backside. In their previous encounter, in the first season episode Vox Sola, the Kreetassans took offense because the Enterprise crew ate in front of them, which they consider vulgar. Except the crew didn’t just turn up to their planet touting takeaway – they were eating in their mess hall on their own ship. You know, the room set aside specifically for eating, an important social activity in Earth culture. The Kreetassans’ reaction is ridiculous and made worse by their reluctance to explain the problem, a reluctance they show again in this episode. Sure, Archer should grow up and get over it, but his frustration, while unprofessional, is very human.

It’s also worth bearing in mind the title of the episode – this takes place over the course of a sleepless night during which Archer is afraid Porthos is dying. He is stressed, emotional, and on edge, and he’s lashing out. By morning (and with Porthos thankfully having survived) he has cooled down and started behaving more appropriately again. And none of Archer’s complaints are actually communicated to the Kreetassans – he’s sounding off to his crew and his colleagues about a frustrating situation. He may not be the world’s best diplomat, but there are real life diplomats guilty of worse offences.

Complaint 2: Archer shouldn’t be whining so much about his dog.

How you feel about this one is going to depend partly on how you feel about dogs, or about pets in general. As a person who has slept in the lounge to watch over and comfort a sick dog, I have every sympathy with how Archer feels. If my dog is sick, you can bet I’m not at my best at work, especially if I’ve also had very little sleep. Archer’s way of explaining this, calling Porthos “my beagle, my pal”, may be a cringe-worthy way to put it, but those of us with “subservient quadrupeds” at home really are very attached to them.

Incidentally, given that Phlox’s bizarre treatment for Porthos involves drowning and reviving him, this episode initiates the dog into the grand tradition of Star Trek episodes that “kill” main characters only to bring them back to life again.

Complaint 3: Archer’s romantic feelings for T’Pol come out of nowhere and aren’t convincing.

While many viewers consider Archer’s romantic feelings for T’Pol in this episode to be a one-off story thread that was never picked up again, this is actually the end of a slight romantic thread between the two of them that started in season one, but largely fizzled out afterwards. Archer’s defence of T’Pol in “Fusion” could be assumed to be no more than a Captain protecting a member of his crew, but as well as several aside glances over the first season, they snuggle up together under a blanket in “The Andorian Incident”; in “Fallen Hero,” Vulcan ambassador V’Lar tells them she sees a “great bond” of “friendship” between them, and in “Shockwave Part 1,” T’Pol tells Archer she has his back. That may not sound like much, but in 90s Trek terms, that was practically a relationship.

The suggestion of an Archer/T’Pol romance would come up once more, in season three’s “Twilight.” Nothing to do with sparkly vampires, this episode had originally been suggested as a romantic storyline between Captain Janeway and First Officer Chakotay on Star Trek: Voyager, a couple who flirted mercilessly for seven years before Chakotay was inexplicably paired with Seven of Nine at the last minute. Re-written for Captain Archer and his First Officer, this episode is often considered one of Enterprise’s best – so it’s not the sexual tension between Archer and T’Pol itself that is the issue with “A Night In Sickbay,” merely the sloppy execution.

The main reason the idea of a romance between the two has such a poor reputation is that the way it’s brought up here feels rather strange, with Phlox insisting Archer’s concern for his dog is actually stress caused by underlying sexual tension, and some very dubious “Polarian slips” (“the breast I can,” really? With poor Jolene Blalock in that catsuit?). It’s true that the dream sequence in which Porthos’ funeral becomes a romantic moment between Archer and T’Pol, followed by yet more sexy “decontamination”, is rather silly, but it is just a dream. No one mated with each other and had lizard babies, and dreams are often weird – it’s not that bad a scene.

But the idea in itself isn’t inherently terrible – T’Pol and Archer do work well together and she is an obviously attractive woman. However, when she calmly tells Archer any kind of relationship would be inappropriate he does the right thing and moves on, and that’s the end of that. It’s a simple story of an attraction at work that isn’t pursued.

Complaint 4: The humor doesn’t work.

Some of the episode’s bad reputation is the result of its attempts at humour. The opening panning shot across Hoshi “decontaminating” T’Pol, who is “decontaminating” Archer, who is “decontaminating” Porthos, is presumably meant to be funny. The problem is, the exploitative “decontamination” scenes are so problematic in general, it just isn’t very funny, but rather makes it seem like the show is trying to sexualize the dog.

Similarly, the daft sequence at the end of the episode, where Archer has to go through a bizarre ritual in order to apologise to the Kreetassans, is a simple case of humour gone wrong. It’s too silly, his hairdo is bizarre, and it makes no sense. But again, no one turns into a lizard, or randomly picks a fight with some cavemen. It’s not great, but it’s hardly the worst Star Trek has to offer.

The main sources of humour in the episode are, of course, Phlox’s various shenanigans overnight in sickbay. He trims his toenails, he brushes his tongue, he and Archer chase a bat around. If you don’t find any of that funny, then sure, you may find the episode grating. Perhaps I just have a terrible sense of humour, but what can I say – I thought it was funny. Judging by this episode’s Hugo nomination, I’m not the only one.

This episode is sometimes accused of having “killed Star Trek” and blamed for Enterprise’s dwindling viewing figures and eventual cancellation. It’s true that it has flaws and it won’t be bothering any “Best Of” lists. But it doesn’t deserve its place on all the ‘Worst Of’ lists either. It’s a good chance to get to know Phlox a bit better, a fascinating and genuinely alien character who didn’t get the spotlight often enough. The interaction between Phlox and Archer here is genuinely fun to watch. It’s light and fluffy and silly, and maybe that’s not your bag, but that doesn’t make it bad. It shows Archer at his worst, at his most childish and petulant, but how can we really get to know any character without seeing them at their lowest? By the end of the episode, he has regained his sense of duty and is fulfilling his role as normal once again. He had a bad night – so do we all, sometimes. It’s about time we cut him, and this episode, some slack.

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*Though if that was a season finale, rather than a series finale, and if it hadn’t killed off a major character, it really wouldn’t be that bad either.

The post Star Trek: In Defense of Enterprise’s Worst Episode appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[leadandtreesdocx]

High Hopes

Fandom: Star Trek (2009)

Word Count: 2,202

Summary:  An alternate timeline begs for more differences, and this story explores one to do with Spock. Or, why the Spock in this reality is so emotional. Hint: It has to do with a girl.

Before Spock was born, the doctors and specialists loved to tell her of her chances to conceive. Or rather, lack thereof.

“Though similar in many aspects,” They would drone, trying to be delicate and tiptoe but at the same time firm enough to get the point across to this obviously simple human. “Vulcan and human physiology isn't compatible in this way. A naturally conceived child is highly improbable.”

Naturally, Amanda was upset by this. She had two sisters growing up and had always imagined children of her own. Little ones that would feel loved and cherished under her protection. When she got married, the vision was only slightly altered as she now wanted children with her husband. She approached Sarek with this topic, his response being irritatingly logical, as always.

“When we decided upon pursuing our relations, many possibilities came to the forefront of my mind. One of those was children and the rarity it is for humans and Vulcans to be suitable in a reproductive capacity. This is something I accepted early on.”

“But what if we grow to want children? What if I want to be a mother?” Amanda argued, growing exasperated by the unflinching nature of those around her. She didn't want complacency, she wanted solutions.

“As always, there are options. Besides adoption, cloning therapy has gone a long way in producing healthy offspring. However, I understand that many humans oppose this option for ethical reasons.” Amanda rolled her eyes and left to find a different opinion, her husband pondering on what, exactly, he had done wrong.

After this talk, as well as talks with her parents, siblings, and others, Amanda had given up any hope for a child of her own. She wanted a life with Sarek, and if this couldn't include a life with a child from both of them - she could live with it. She had just started to look into the options Sarek spoke of (boy or girl, Vulcan or human, none of the above?) when she went for a routine checkup and found herself three weeks pregnant.

Nine months passed and Spock was born, a tiny, wailing infant that came into the world in the spring. He had her eyes and Sarek’s ears and both of them were in love, even if it was only Amanda who showed it outwardly. They had a family.

And that was all Amanda ever wanted.

“Mother, what does this mean?” Amanda and Sarek paused their discussion and turned around to see a four year old Spock clutching the datapad they were currently discussing, one from her last medical appointment. He had a slightly alarmed expression on his face, not having learned to block out all emotion, especially at home. “Are you ill?”

Amanda laughed gently. “Not at all, dear.” She sent a warning look to her husband before leaning down to be on Spock’s level, smiling kindly. “It means that you're going to be having a sister.”

Spock blinked.

“You are… with child?”

Amanda laughed again, because his father had said the exact same thing the hour before when she told him. Sometimes their similarities couldn’t be more apparent.

“Yes, Spock. Are you excited to have a baby sister?”

Spock blinked again as his face settled into one of deep contemplation. His parents looked on as his young mind tried to formulate what he was (or was not) feeling.

“As an older brother,” Spock glanced up hesitantly at his father. “What do I have to do?”

Sarek thought about the answer before answering his son with his usual seriousness. “Older kin have a duty to pass on any and all knowledge to their legacies. In doing so, you have a responsibility to this person - one to protect them. Do you understand?”

“I,” Spock faltered, his face scrunching up a little in his confusion. “I believe so.”

Amanda positively beamed at him before kissing his head. “You'll do brilliantly, Spock. Like you always do.”

Spock blushed green, but preened under his mother’s attention.

“Why do they make fun of me, Spock?” Spock closed his book with a snap.

“Who makes fun of you?”

“My classmates, the neighbors, practically everyone that I pass in the hall.”

Spock looked pensive for a moment before simply saying, “I see.” And returning to his book, trying to play it off as if it was a trivial matter. Darda knew him better than that.

“I don't need any help,” His sister was quick to deny, and continued before he could respond. “I just don't understand.”

Darda had this annoying tendency to try and understand everything. Despite the irrationality of this, Spock found affection for his little sister in her passion. But this was matter he found need to discourage her from, because of her almost naïve, kind hearted nature. So he gave her a rare smile, one that spoke of bitterness and affection, before telling her the honest truth.

“And you never will, ko-kai.”

Her face started to crumble so he inquired about her studies, which she could prattle on about for days. As her mood soared with each detail, Spock felt a glimmer of satisfaction in the back of his mind that he would not acknowledge. Like his father had told him to do, Spock was protecting his sister in the only way he knew how. Never mind that he had the same doubts and questions, he was able to help her forget, even if just for a moment.

Spock had come to the conclusion quite a long time ago that though he could logically understand other Vulcans’ disdain for them as half-breeds, he would never quite be able to grasp the why involved. But some mysteries are meant to remain unsolved, Spock reasoned as Darda started talking about her recent lessons in history, this must be one of them.

“How big do you think Starfleet is? Is it bigger than the Academy?”

“Guessing is not productive,” Spock remarked without inflection, scrolling through the book he was reading. “You possess a data pad. It is within your reach.”

“Guessing is a game, kaisu. It's not meant to be productive, it's meant to be fun.”

“Regardless, it ceases to be a game when you already know the answer.”

Darda had done well in her studies, advancing beyond what anyone on Vulcan had predicted for her. She bypassed the Academy in favor of a school that would better help her attain the qualifications needed for her chosen field. Darda wanted to be an architect of all things. Inspired by the history books of Earth and the current marvels of Vulcan, she was already rising through the ranks due to her unique insight. There were not a great many things in which her knowledge surpassed the men in her family, but she was determined that this would be one of them. Whenever a single building was mentioned in a conversation, Darda most likely knew the exact dimensions and structural problems from her research. Starfleet had been no exception.

“Did you know,” Darda began speculatively. “That the Golden Gate Bridge has only a small portion of its original self still intact? When they set out to preserve it, they found so many of the original materials outdated or dangerous that they couldn't rationalize building it the same way. The original portion in no way helps the structural integrity and is held aside from visitors.”

“Fascinating.”

“I thought so.” They were both quiet for a moment, content in the silence before Spock glanced up from his book at the time and saw that he would need to leave now if he wanted to arrive home with enough time to check his bags before sleeping.

“I must leave to pack the rest of my belongings.” Spock started to collect his things and didn't see the heartbroken and slightly panicked expression on Darda’s face.

As Spock turned to leave, he heard her soft voice.

“I will miss you, you are aware.”

He turned back and allowed their eyes to meet, hers glassy and his a tad soft.

“I am.”

They both paused for a moment, the realization that this would be their last, real moment together a sobering one. He would be leaving Vulcan, leaving her the next day. Tomorrow would be spent around others and they would have to maintain the formalities expected of them, unable to give a last parting word without justifying the Council’s words. This was it for them, until they could meet again in the future. Due to their different life choices, that could be years.

Spock lifted his hand in the customary goodbye.

“Live long and prosper, ko-kai.”

Her lips wobbled into a smile as she raised her own hand.

“Live long and prosper.”

“You never loved her!”

Days after the dust had settled and hours after the most pressing meetings had been attended to, Spock sat in his room, a data pad on the table beside him and James Kirk’s words ringing in the air.

The doors slid open with a near silent whir, and Lieutenant Uhura stepped inside. She didn't say anything, just came and sat beside him. She saw the data pad lying on the table and wordlessly, Spock handed it to her.

Lieut- Nyota scrolled through the article.

“Did she build this?”

A nod.

She smiled, looking back down at the picture shown of a gorgeous cathedral. “It's beautiful.” She admitted. It was made to liken one of the older Roman cathedrals, but with better materials and a more practical layout. It was quite impressive, especially for her first project, not to mention -

“It's mediocre.”

Nyota started at his break from silence and his harsh words. She looked up at her love to explain. He didn't look at her but sighed as he stared off at some unseeing tragedy.

“She had so much more she wanted to do. Grand monuments, sprawling cities, ingenuous irrigation methods…” Spock trailed off before he spoke again, frustration coloring his words. “It's an insult that this was the only thing that came to pass. A waste.”

Nyota stared in disbelief at the irrational rational she had just been witness to. Spock was hurting, but his attempts to distance himself and by proxy belittle his sister’s life’s work enraged her. Instead of saying this, she was quiet for a moment before putting the pad in his lap, the picture of the church still enlarged.

“Can you really look at this and tell me that?” She pointed harshly at the work, hoping to draw Spock from his stupor. “From what you told me, she was dedicated but never did anything without truly meaning it. So logically, she couldn’t believe it to be a waste, otherwise it never would’ve been made. Your sister made this, Spock. Take time to appreciate it.”

She left him at that, to contemplate her simple words and hopefully find some closure. He did think about what she said, but he couldn't justify the beauty that was this church for the brilliance that was his sister. He had always held Darda in high esteem, sure of her as he was of anything. Darda was going to help so many in this universe, of that he had never a doubt.

But now she was gone and he just couldn't understand how this church could still stand with her absence.

Spock knew contacting his elder self wasn't a very thought out or pragmatic plan. But he wanted to know how Darda’s life would've played out without the destruction of Vulcan. Without the attack that he indirectly caused.

But when her name was brought into discussion, his alternate self could only stare in confusion.

It had never occurred to Spock that, in an alternate reality, his parents only miracle was him. In the original timeline, Amanda and Sarek never produced another child, but were quite happy with Spock as their only child together. Amanda died old, Sarek remarried, and the only ‘Darda’ Spock knew of was from Earth’s Bible.

The anniversary of his planet’s destruction was a rather somber affair. The captain had made arrangements for them to travel to New Vulcan, but a few violent Klingons delayed their trip.

So instead, they were having a small memorial on the ship. The mess hall had a shrine of sorts with pictures of loved ones messily taped on along with the new flag hung in the background.

Spock, having a year to think about it, put her cathedral there alongside a picture of his mother.

Kirk sidled up next to him.

“Who’s the church for?”

Kirk didn't mean it as an insult, but it smarted somewhat that hers wasn't a work so easily recognized. Instead of snapping with his newfound temper, Spock reflected on what the photo represented, especially to him.

“A remarkable woman.” Kirk looked at him in surprise, not expecting him to answer and unsure of the connection she could have with the Vulcan. “If you would excuse me, Captain.”

As Spock left, James realized that he hadn't really answered his question. But looking at the worn photo of a hauntingly beautiful cathedral hanging next to the pristine portrait of Spock’s mother, Kirk decided it was better not to ask.

Translations: ko-kai - sister kaisu - sibling

[janeykath318]

Broken Shackles 20

Year Two "Hi, Spock!!" Jim greeted his girlfriend (yes, he thought of her that way) with a smile: "Greetings, Jim," Spock replied. "I infer you had safe travels back to Betazed." "Sure did, Spock! But I miss you already. It was so good to see you again." "Likewise, Jim. I hope you have not had any more panic attacks?" Jim winced and shook his head, still embarrassed over his episode at the theater when he'd seen a man who'd reminded him of his harsh owner. 

"No. I still can't believe that happened. I'd been doing so well." He sighed. "Do not trouble yourself about it, t'hy'la. You are doing well. The individual in question had a most ferocious visage." Jim smiled weakly. "He sure did." All he'd been able to think about in that moment of blind fear had been the chains rattling between his legs as he'd sweated and heaved stones to build the new livestock huts under the watchful eye of the owner. The veiled threats and demands for harder labor, the crack of the whip, the smell of dirty bodies, had flooded his senses and he'd been helplessly lost inside his memories for several minutes while Spock reminded him where he was and he was safe. He'd been very frustrated at the setback, but he knew Spock and Pike were right when they told him it was impossible to completely prevent surprises and he should not feel ashamed of himself. Spock, bless her heart, decided to take the conversation in a different direction. She had an incredible ability to judge his moods and emotions even from a video feed, and they weren't even bonded. "James, I do believe there may be a possible solution to our future career dilemma." Jim perked up at this. They'd been circling around the issue for awhile now, not sure how to broach the subject in a way that wouldn't be taken as selfish or unsupportive. "Oh? What's that, Spock?" "It will take some time for the new Starfleet anti-trafficking branch to get developed and they are looking to partner with the IBI to provide several agents to be stationed on Starships to provide a sufficient number for enforcement of the stricter laws. It could be possible for you to be stationed on a ship or starbase, thus allowing for a higher likelihood of being in close proximity to each other." "Hmm," Jim considered. "That sounds hopeful, if I could avoid getting tangled up in Fleet politics. Plus, there's no way to be sure I'd be lucky enough to be posted on the same ship you do." Spock smiled inwardly. Jim had vastly underestimated the determination of Captain Pike, but she'd let him find that out for himself. He hadn't rejected the idea instantly, which was hopeful because previously he'd balked at anything that involved him being on a Starfleet vessel. "Not as unlikely as you think, Jim. I offer it for your consideration over the remaining year left in our schooling." "I promise, I'll think about it, Spock. I'm starting to think I'll have to unbend my anti-Fleet stance a bit. Otherwise, I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face." "I assume that is a Terran metaphor?" Spock inquired dryly, wondering at the ability of humans to be so illogically and colorfully descriptive in their figures of speech. "Of course, beautiful," Jim laughed. "I'm no masochist. Besides, I value my nose." He patted said nose fondly. "Indeed. Your senses would be quite impaired without your olfactory organ." "Yeah. Who wants to be unable to smell or taste? Especially your mother's butterscotch pudding? Mmmmm...." Jim licked his lips at the remembrance of the delicious specialty of Amanda's. She'd introduced a vegan version that Vulcans went wild over (that is, logically begged for the recipe) and Jim loved. "Oh, James. Your enjoyment of meals is unsurpassed. My mother took great delight in your appreciation of her cooking." "Speaking of your mother, I heard she and Sarek are coming to pay you a visit." "Yes. In 3.2 days. I am very intrigued by their opinion of the Academy and its functions." (Long conversation ensues) Three months later (Voice Messages left for Jim)                   Bones Jim, You are not allowed to die, you hear me??? I know the prognosis is horrible, but you've survived so much already, I can't believe it. If you can hear this, come back to us. Who else is going to call me Bones and comm me at unearthly hours to rant about your classes? Denobulan fever is no joke and I'm sorry you can't have visitors, so if you can hear me, hang on for us."

                                   Pike Jim, this is Chris. We're all waiting out here in the hospital waiting room, hoping you'll pull through this. A lot of people love you, Jim. McCoy and Gaila and I are here from Starfleet as well as Spock and Ambassador Sarek and Amanda. I've met handfuls of your friends from the university and they're terrified for you. Hang in there, son. You're too young to check out from life.

                 Amanda Jim, you dear boy, I hope you can understand us through the coma. The doctors are fairly sure you can, thus the recordings we're doing to persuade you to keep fighting. You're like a son to me, Jim. I saw what the world did to you and I wanted and needed to show you the nurturing you'd missed out on. You've made us all so proud, young man, don't you forget that. No dying on us now. You made a promise we'd see you graduate from college. We love you, Jim. Remember that.

                Gaila Sweet, sweet Jimmy. I'm so angry they won't let us in to see you, but Dr. McCoy says you're highly contagious and in too delicate a condition. I know he wishes he was working with them, fighting for your life. Please, Jimmy, Don't pass into the great Beyond. I want to hunt down vermin pirates with you. We beat the odds and escaped from slavery and I know you can do it again. Please? If not for me, than for Spock? I know you long for her."                 Spock I do not know if this is logical, as you are unresponsive, but I too request that you retain your determined will to survive. Jim, I confess my affections for you have grown to such a point as the threat of the loss of you causes me much anxiety. If that is unclear, I must plainly state that I love thee, James Tiberius Kirk and I hope against all logic that you will live to hear me say it to you in person."

Two days later, Jim's blue eyes opened to the amazed expression of the doctors, who'd been certain he was at death's door. The loyal group holding vigil reacted with tears, whoops and exclamations of relief. Pike closed his eyes and swallowed hard, Bones blinked rapidly and growled questions at the doctor, Amanda leaned on her husband and let happy tears flow, Thomas and Ella held each other and did a victory dance with Gaila, but Spock stared straight ahead, seemingly unaffected. Little did they realize the emotional storm raging inside her as she struggled for control was deeper than most of them knew.

[furederiko]

Kyuranger's 26th episode offers us a neat metaphor, of how emotions plays a crucial key to unlock the darkness in one's heart!

- Our episode immediately begins with a mecha fight. A concerning fact, because in case you forget, it's a Super Sentai sign that a bad thing is going to happen in the latter half. And since last week, it's very obvious who's going to be involved in one: Naga Ray. - Yes... he's still reeling in to what happened at Planet Tocky, that he ends up disrupting the balance of Kyutamajin. Pointing out a good minor point, that all 12 members need to be in sync to operate this massive combination. Phoenix Soldier eventually 'benches him out', as the giant robot is separated into its smaller components to take down the two Indavers and Consumarz. Naga wrongfully thinks that him being 'different', is helding the others back. - Problem is, this comes to the attention of someone unwelcome: Vice-Shogun Akyanba! Hideous and atrocious-looking design aside (Seriously, what is she based on? A ray? And what about that disturbing dino-head torso? Those crooked teeth... ugh!), we can already tell that Akyanba is a clever and cunning antagonist. Why? A good antagonist observes the situation, and plans ahead before making an attack. And that's exactly what she's doing. She's aware that if one member is out of the equation, the team can no longer form Kyutamajin! That's why Naga instantly becomes her prime target... Fun fact: Lest we forget, Akyanba is voiced by (another) former yellow, Arisa Komiya. Komiya played Yellow Buster in the 2012's "Tokumei Sentai Go-Busters". She showed up in Kyoryuger's TOEI NEXT V-Cinema title, and then last year's "Kamen Rider Ghost". Just like Raptor's VA, she has been branching out to the Voice Acting business in recent years. - Naga tells the others, that despite spending half a season all these time with the team, he hasn't acquired any emotions. Which is a bit ironic, since feeling frustrated, worried, and expressing disappointments (all signs circling around envy)... are in fact sign of emotions! Commander Xiao even kindly points that out. LOL. - Sadly, the team's concentration is being split to work out their 'Time Travel' mission. Particularly Tsurugi's concern on how it will affect the timeline. So they seem to be neglecting Naga's inner struggle. Since Balance needs more time to sync the ORION with the Horologium Kyu Globe, Xiao decides they should have a break. Barbeque break! A seemingly harmless intermezzo, that ends up backfiring instead. Because it opens up a solid opportunity for Akyaban to hatch her plan. - Ironically, Naga initially wants to stay behind and help Balance. But the golden mechanical life-form tells him to "take the load off". And then later, Hammy goes out her usual blatant way, and tells Naga to stop relying on Balance. She says that Naga should start thinking and doing things for his own. Nothing wrong with what both are doing, right? Yep, except for the fact that they are unintentionally pushing Naga to the edge, plunging him directly into Akyanba's manipulative play. - Obviously, seeing Akyanba draws out hidden emotions from humans, intrigues Naga. Just like TOEI, Akyanba isn't even trying to be subtle, as she specifically approaches Ophiucus Silver during the fight, offering him to... 'unlock' his true emotions. Another proof of her cunningness, as she pulls out of the fight right after. She's not trying to destroy the Kyuranger by power, nor by force (she actually can, since Phoenix Soldier points out that she's gotten more stronger), but by tearing them apart from the inside. - The team is concerned about this development, when Tsurugi shares that people from the Ophiucus System originally had 'incredibily intense emotions'. Naga tells Hammy that his people used to be overcomed by hatred and rage. Apparently, they decided to abandon emotions and individuality, in order to achieve peace. - Unfortunately, Naga's desire to have emotions... to be 'the same' like the other Kyurangers, is just too strong to resist. Thus the unexpected but inevitable happens: Naga himself, chooses to accept Akyanba's offer. Yes, a startling twist that might be the first in Super Sentai history, because a hero agrees to be swayed into the darkness... on his own free will!!! Fun fact: The 'Evil Hero' trope itself is actually annually used in the franchise, but most if not all of them involved brainwashing, mind control, or other similar tricks. For example, "Shuriken Sentai Ninnninger" has used this 'swaying a hero into their dark side' trope before, in the whole pointless minor subplot that had Kyuuemon Izayoi lured StarNinger to become evil. It failed miserably, if you ask me. Also, it might be more than just a coincidence, but the 27th episode of "Kira Kira Precure A La Mode" that was aired on August 13th (yep, a week before this episode), also attempted similar twist to Cure Gelato. I'm using the word 'attempted' because well... the antagonist Elysio only succeeded for a brief moment *sigh*. Interestingly, looks like that female-targetted SHT show is going to dwelve into similar angle for its 29th episode that will air this Sunday! - The team has to be split into two. Lucky, Tsurugi, Stinger, and Spada address Hammy's call for help to prevent Naga from 'surrendering' himself to Akyanba. Raptor, Champ, and the combi of Garu and Kotarou, hit the town to deal with the emotionally berserking victims (using Lyra, Aries, and #34 Coma Berenices Kyu Globe respectively... to hillarious effects). While the second team succeeds, it's already too late for the first team... as Naga has already entered the Dark Side. You're correct, it IS another a "Star Wars" reference! Dang it though, that witch-like scene that sees Akyanba infusing and suffocating darkness into Naga... is both juicy and creepy to see *shivers*. - Yes, Naga has acquired his hidden emotions now, and well... it's NOT good. AT ALL. He has been turned into a completely different person who's exuding sassiness, angst, malice, and... just plain evil. An ironically snake-like personality for someone from the Snake-Charmer constellation system. If you ask me, it's an amazing albeit terrifying scene, as Naga's actor seems to be going all out, hamming up his performance. Clearly he's having fun with this 'evil' version, because unlike Naga's usual 'flat' personality (which is much bigger challenge for an actor, IMHO), this enables him to showcase a variety of emotions. Spock to Spook, eh? - And things turn to worse. His Ophiucus Kyu Globe evolves into the Dark Kyu Globe, along with the purple/black-colored Dark Constellation Blaster. He's no longer Ophiucus Silver, as he has now become... Ophiucus Metal. Sure, this 'power up' form does look a bit corny and over-the-top, especially with all those weird add-ons and Egyptian nods. But I have to admit, I'm totally LOVING this scary berserking personality. The blaster uses that ominous minor tone that just sounds right for my taste, and he can even shoot deadly beam from that huge disturbing eye on the torso. Not to mention, that amazing and fitting BGM? It helps amp up this painful fight between comrades to feel more... eerie, dire, and disturbingly emotional. Ophiucus Metal almost kills Chamaeleon Green on the spot! Seriously, this entire scene is giving me all the chills!!! Fun Fact: The name 'Ophiucus Metal', is actually a neat little pun. Because in Japanese, it would be 'Hebi-tsukai Metal'. Get it? Hebi-Metal? 'Heavy-Metal'? Also, we know that Silver itself is a Metal element, so it is generally a smart choice of name. LOL. - The emotional turmoil is not over. The team obviously has to inform Balance about this unfortunate turn, and he's not taking this easy. At the same time, Hammy is openly blaming herself, for talking 'too much' to Naga. Balance decides to stay off the 'Time Travel' mission to bring back Naga to the good side. Lucky, Hammy, Garu, and Kotarou decide to stick around to join his crusade, while the others depart to the past using the Horologium-powered ORION. For the first time in Super Sentai history, we have 2 teams of 6 heroes (we still need to count Naga as well, right?) in one show, separated across time and space. From the beginning, Akyanba's main goal has been to split the team apart. Looks like it doesn't take long for that to come into fruition, huh?

Overall: In case you haven't realized it yet, there's one thing that Kyuranger is REALLY good at as a show: to toy and/or mess around with our emotions. After the heartgutting arc with Stinger, Commander Xiao's past regret, Tsurugi's lone-survivor syndrome, and Kotarou's brief moment with his mother just last week, one would doubt they can deliver another serving, right? Wrong. Seeing Naga succumbed himself into darkness, in order to obtain the one thing he truly desire, was intense and equally (if not more) heartbreaking to watch. I found myself genuinely feeling terrified for his sake, trembling with goosebumps and fear, particularly when the others failed to prevent him. And that says A LOT. While other shows have tried to pull it off with various results, with Naga, it hurts so much. Meaning, audience (clearly I'm not alone in this) truly cared about this character! His fall into the dark side came with such a big twist too: he himself CHOSE to be that way. As far as many recall, it's something new that hasn't been done in the franchise before. So it was more than just heartwrenching, but also shocking. More importantly, this turn of event did NOT come out of left field. It's a natural progression to his character! Hints towards this have been peppered throughout since his debut (Remember Planet Vela? And then on Planet Tocky...). After all, Naga DID become a Kyuranger to obtain emotions. He's just, a bit 'impatient' to have one, which was the core message here. What's happening to Naga is a subtle metaphor about those who are 'different', or as the negative-society often calls as... 'abnormal'. It's about the worst possible outcome of what happens when someone is pushed to the limits, in order to 'fit in' with the others. That's truly a strong and sensitive issue! I also really loved the fact that this plot helped push a wonderful development in other characters as well. In this case, the considerably 'underused' Hammy, and his BFF Balance. Hammy's way of spouting anything on her mind sort of backfired and pushed Naga towards the wrong direction. So it was equally painful to see her blaming herself for it. And then there was Balance and his carefree way of seeing things lightly. This trait failed him to see that his BFF has been struggling, and it might lead towards dire consequences. Furthermore, this arc continues another really neat trend of the show: it's the internal members, and not the the antagonists who tend to complicate matters for the team! Which is great, because it attracts conflicts that direct towards stronger team-bonding moment. Overall, this is truly yet another highlight of the show. Another proof that Kyuranger is just such a fantastic season to follow. TOEI is firing on all cylinders here! Beside... Evil Naga is simply a delight to see, even if we might only see him for a brief amount of time... XD Next week: Trouble aboard the ORION? What happens in the past, stays in the past...

Episode 26 Score: 8,4 out of 10

Visit THIS LINK to view a continuously updated listing of the Kyutama / Kyu Globes. Last Updated: August 26th, 2017 - Version 2.11. (WARNING: It might contain spoilers for future episodes)

All images are screencaptured from the series, provided by the FanSubber Over-Time. "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger" is produced by TOEI, and airs every Sunday on TV-Asahi. Credits and copyrights belong to their respective owners.

[supercalvin]

Awesome Fics

I was tagged by reineyday to give 10 fics from any fandom that I thought were awesome. And since I have a whole blog dedicated to merthur fanfics I decided to steer clear of any M/A fics (shocking, I know). I wish I read/blogged about these fandoms more, because I adore these ships.

Fandom: Star Trek | Ship: Spirk (Spock/James T. Kirk)

Who I Am by valdena (Word Count: 10k, Rating: Teens and Up) 

Summary: “His mother understood- she didn’t understand why Jim had to cut his hair and bind his chest, but she understood that he had to. She wept in front of him sometimes, saying that if Jim’s father was around, it wouldn’t have been this way.” Jim Kirk has come a long way as Captain of the Enterprise, but even after three years, there are things about him not even his closest crewmates know.

Comment: Trans!Jim Kirk. Kinda angsty. Jim is desperate to hide from Spock, and on the other side, Spock is really worried there is something wrong (like Jim is seriously ill). 

Lie To Me by Gimmemore (Word Count: 2k, Rating: Mature)

Summary: Shrouded in darkness, Jim whispered one final appeal. “Stay with me.” 

The smallest tremor ran through Spock. “Jim.” His name was an entreaty.

Pressing two fingers to Spock’s lips, Jim silenced the next words before they could tumble forth, tearing apart the gossamer veil delicately surrounding them. “Just…tell me you will even if…even if it’s a lie.”

Comment: Look, despite the fact that most of my own fics are Pure Fluff, I actually live for Angst and Drama. So fics about kolinahr (where Spock means to purge all emotion and leave Starfleet) are my shit.

Bitter Dregs by kinklock  (Word Count: 9k, Rating: Explicit)

Summary: When they had first met, Jim had known not to touch his hand.

Comment: Jim knows that Vulcan’s don’t touch hands, for good reasons too, so Spock is confused when Jim keeps brushing him. Let’s just say that the Cap’n is flirting.

Fandom: Attack on Titan | Ship: Eruri (Levi/Erwin Smith)

Gilded by Night by rivai-lution (Word Count: 66k, Rating: Mature)

Summary: Everyone knows that Erwin Smith is destined for greatness. Young, strapping, and intelligent, he's moved up the ranks almost effortlessly. Frustrated by his robotic charm, his General decides to teach him some humility by forcing him to be a bodyguard to a Crimson - a government sanctioned, high-level prostitute. He's determined to get through this bullshit assignment as quickly as possible...until he's sucked into Levi's world and forced to come face to face with his past, his heritage, and his humanity.

Comment: There are a lot of prostitute!Levi fics in the snk fandom, but I’ve never come across one that wasn’t all about pwp, but rivai-lution has a wonderful plot that’s to character and less about prostitution and more about social class in the Walls. Can you tell I’m picky about Eruri fics?

Punk's Not Dead by stereobone (Word Count: 4k, Rating: Explicit)

Summary: They go to shows together, protests, drink, mess around in Erwin's bed. It's just how it is. Anyone who knows Erwin now knows that Levi will be with him.

Comment: Look, Erwin and Levi are the definition of punk (anti-government and pro-rebellion in the name of something good) so I just needed a punk AU in my life. Fanart from hamletmachine.

Up by stereobone (Word Count: 2k, Rating: Teens and Up)

Summary: Erwin likes to pick Levi up.

Comment: They are my sad Tol and Smol, so yes I need h/c where Tol picks up Smol, and Angry Smol allows it. For now.

Fandom: Young Avengers (Marvel) | Ship: Billy Kaplan/Teddy Altman

The Dale Cycle by Ardatli (Word Count: 47k, Rating: Explicit)

Summary: In which Teddy is a crusader, Billy isn't technically a pilgrim, and some sins get enthusiastically committed.

Comment: Look man, it may be a medieval au and billy/teddy may seem like Merlin/Arthur on the outside, I swear it’s not. This fic is so wonderful. Billy is posing as a Christian priest, but in reality he’s a Jewish man who has mystical powers (seen by the crusaders as ‘miracles’). Teddy is a Captain on his way to the fourth crusade. Cue the drama.

The Colors Beneath His Skin by Ardatli

Summary: The tattoo shop AU you never knew you wanted. Years ago, Nate, Eli, America and Tommy opened ‘Patriots’ together. Now Nate’s moved on and a new piercer - tall, blond, perfect - has taken his place. Billy’s nowhere near as cool as his twin brother, and there’s no way this new guy, this god among men, this Teddy Altman, would ever be interested in plain old Billy Kaplan.

Comment: Can I put a fic that has been taken down?  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry. I just really like this fic and was happy that I had saved a pdf for once in my life. The author took it down because they wrote a book based on the fic (info). But cris-art’s fanart is still up, so there’s something.

It’s not 10 fics, but I think that’s good enough lol. Now I always struggle on who to tag. ahhhh.

@herrhasen, @silenceindminor, @kkelenca, and anyone else who wants to knock yourself out :D

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #157 - Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) Getting any sort of footage or image before a studio logo is exceptionally rare. I appreciate that Paramount and the filmmakers decided to open the film with this dedication:

2) This is an end to a trilogy started by Star Trek II - The Wrath of Khan, as it is a direct sequel to Star Trek III which was a direct sequel to Khan. Leonard Nimoy returns to direct after Star Trek III and decided to give the film a lighter tone as Star Trek was taking itself rather seriously. I think that works for this movie, but I also think the film succeeds because (out of the trilogy) it does the best of examining the crew outside of Kirk/Spock/Bones (as we shall see).

3)

Vulcan Computer [testing Spock’s recovery]: “How do you feel?”

Spock’s emotional arc - though it becomes more subtle as the film progresses - is a nice touch. The dude DIED. He’s not just going to walk away from that scot free. He’s Vulcan, so his intellect has been largely focused on. But it is his emotional recovery - getting in touch with his human side - which carries the Vulcan through this film. And I think it works wonderfully.

4) The noise the alien probe emits has a wonderfully ominous design to it. It is effective and makes you uncomfortable. You know something is up.

The entire idea of a mysterious alien probe with unknown intentions which is creating death and destruction (seemingly involuntarily) is very compelling to me. It is an idea in the same essence of “The Twilight Zone” or even something HG Welles would write. Mysterious, frightening, foreboding, and interesting.

5) This is the last film appearance of Lt. Saavik.

According to IMDb:

A scene written for but cut from the film explained why Saavik stays on Vulcan: she is pregnant with Spock's child, stemming from an event in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984), when she "treated" the young Spock's pon farr. This was the character's final appearance in a Star Trek film.

I’m a little disappointed that Saavik was just kind of dropped. Apparently Nimoy and writer/producer Harve Bennett couldn’t think of anything for her to do in the 20th century, but this was an incredibly interesting and fun character from Wrath of Khan who just lost steam and disappeared. Ah well.

6)

Bones [after Kirk says Spock will recover alright]: “Are you sure? [Beat. Kirk is silent.] That’s what I thought.”

Neither of them are sure if they’re going to get their friend back, but they have to trust him. They have to try. Bones even later tries to strike up a conversation with Spock, checking him both as a doctor and as his friend. These small bits of concern are neatly effective in portraying the conflict Spock (and, in all honesty, the crew) is going through with his emotional recovery.

7) I love this line.

Spock: “There are other forms of intelligence on Earth, doctor. Only human arrogance would assume that [the probe] MUST be meant for man.”

8) So Kirk and the crew end up time traveling to the late 20th century in order to find some humpback wales and save earth from this probe. But here’s the thing: they’re never asked to do that. Quite the contrary, they’re being court martialed. They could spend the rest of their lives in jail. They have the perfect opportunity to escape and live the rest of their lives. But it is at the expense of the human race. It never even crosses their minds to run away. To not help. They take some seriously big risks for people who may jail them forever and without even a second thought. If that doesn’t speak to the character of these characters I don’t know what does.

9) I’ve never watched the original series of “Star Trek” but I know they time travelled before (at least once, maybe more; again I never watched). So I’m glad they include this line.

Kirk [about time travel]: “We’ve done it before.”

10) Man, these time travel effects are trippy. I love it.

11)

Kirk [about 1986 Earthlings]: “This is an extremely primitive and paranoid culture.”

This has always fucking bugged me in the “Star Trek” universe, although it might just be a personal thing. Yes, the human race as a whole can tend to suck. But why define us by the worst of our elements? Isn’t that just a loud minority? Why not remember the good in history. “This is an extremely primitive and paranoid culture.” What about the people on the Challenger who you dedicated to this film? They weren’t primitive or paranoid? What about people who fight for Civil Rights, Gay Rights, and other social justice movements? Why would we let the worst of humanity define us? I mean really? REALLY!?

Okay I’m done.

12) Leonard Nimoy said he wanted this film to have be lighter and boy is it that. This is by far the funniest Star Trek film ever made. Like, I don’t even know hot to properly communicate how funny it is. Here are some early examples of humor in the film:

Kirk [walking away from an invisible space ship he left in Golden Gate Park]: “Everyone remember where we parked.”

Pawn Broker [about Kirk’s glasses, when they need money]: “I’ll give you $100.”

Kirk [after a beat]: “Is that a lot?”

[Kirk and Spock get on a bus only to immediately walk off of it.]

Spock: “What does it mean, exact change?”

The time travel and 80s setting allow for some fish out of water comedy which is the film’s best feature in my opinion. There are so many brilliant and honest jokes derived from these characters. No one ever acts contrary to who they are. They’re them! They’re the best crew Star Fleet has ever had! But in the 80s...

(GIF originally posted by @andurile)

13) Gillian.

Gillian is a very important and very well done character in the film. She is the outsider. Our tether to reality and a key component to saving the whales (because, again, this is the Star Trek movie where they save the whales). She is unique unto herself, not JUST a plot device and I don’t think even someone for Kirk to get together with (I don’t remember if they kiss or not, but I don’t think so). She is passionate, empathetic and has genuine care for the animals under her care. A great character who I think the film is better off for having.

14)

Kirk [after Spock called him Admiral]: “Jim. You used to call me Jim.”

Kirk is obviously getting frustrated with Spock’s lack of emotional development. He went to hell and back, sacrificed his career and his future, all to save his friend. And now his friend isn’t totally back yet. It hardly leads to a big climactic fight but it is an undercurrent of the film which keeps rearing its head in important and compelling ways.

15) I love this line.

Spock [about whaling]: “To hunt a species to extinction is not logical.”

Gillian: “Whoever said the human race was logical?”

16) Honestly, the way Kirk reacts when he sees that Spock has dived into a tank with two whales in full view of everyone is my reaction too.

17) A little thing that bothers me in this film is when Gillian’s coworker calls her kiddo. He seems to be the same age as her and not her superior in anyway, so what is this demeaning bullshit?

18) Remember how I said this film was hysterical?

I think the pairings of Bones/Scotty and Uhura/Chekov are quite interesting. Even if we don’t get a deep examination of those relationships it’s pairings we haven’t really seen on their own before and which do show us just how comfortable everyone is around each other.

19) I love how Kirk just tells Gillian the truth. Yes he was massively bullshitting her for about twenty minutes but he just sort of lays it all out on the table at the end.

(Screencap originally posted by @icheb-of-nine)

And Gillian doesn’t get angry at this seeming insult of her intelligence and storm off like the cliché is. She obviously doesn’t believe Kirk but she roles with it anyway. Figures what the hell, and it pays off later.

20)

Kirk [to Spock, after he learns they might lose the whales and the earth could be doomed]: “You’re half human. Haven’t you got any goddamn feelings about that!?”

This is sort of the peak of Kirk’s frustrations with Spock. Again it plays out more as a subplot throughout the film but one which gives it heart and warmth. It is after this that Spock sort of starts getting it together.

21) Chekov and the navy is fun (although I don’t like their use of the word, “retard,” in the scene). It showcases the film’s humor beautifully AND allows actor Walter Koening to truly shine.

22) And THIS is the culmination of Spock’s emotional arc (or at least the earliest example of it):

Spock: “We must help Chekov.”

Kirk: “Is that the logical thing to do, Spock?”

Spock: “No, but it is the human thing to do.”

23) I LOVE Bones in the hospital!

He regrows a woman’s kidney with a pill! First and foremost Bones is a doctor and he will be a doctor no matter where he is or who the patient is. I think it’s great that they actually take this into consideration with his actions.

24) The entire scene where the former-crew of Enterprise (as they are on a Klingon ship now) rescue the whales is great. It is incredibly tense and conflict filled, packed with surprises (such as the ship saving the whales from the whalers while cloaked). All in all, a great climax.

25) This was James Doohan’s favorite line as Scotty.

(GIFs originally posted by @spaicetrek)

26) I love how Kirk’s “punishment” is to demote him from Admiral to Captain (which is something he wanted all along and which everyone knows).

27)

Kirk [after Gillian says she’s on a different starship]: “Why does it have to be goodbye?”

Because this series rarely brings back female characters introduced in the movies, it seems. (I’m thinking mainly of Carol Marcus.)

28)

Spock [after his father asks if there’s anything he wants his mom to know]: “Yes. Tell her...I feel fine.”

And with that Spock’s emotional journey is complete.

29) And the crew is returned to a recommissioned Enterprise. They are home (see title) and this trilogy is complete.

I wildly enjoy Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. You wouldn’t think a Star Trek film where they save the whales would work but it does. The lightened tone is well appreciated as is the choice to focus more on the crew of the enterprise. The humor is phenomenal, the message is heartwarming, and it is just a feel good film all around. A wonderful treat for fans old and new.

[hurt-spock]

Beast- Chapter 1 & 2

I was requested to write this a while back and I did the first chapter, then started a second before going iffy about it. 

As I’ve revisiting some of my older stuff, I re-read this and dded some more to it. It became a bit of a debate between Spock & Kirk and about the importance of reporting a rape- something I agree with. So, not sure I’ll post this to A03 but time will tell. 

Warnings: Non-con

He could call out.

Ensign Anderson was close by. The trees and undergrowth were thick and the wildlife within was teaming with life. The noises of the forest had been enchanting. But he still recognised that if he yelled, Anderson would hear him above the sounds of nature.

The Ensign was a young, mostly inexperienced, crewman who had been on two landing party missions so far. The first had involved said landing party bringing back a slightly toxic specimen as Anderson had misread the decimal point for safety. The second time he had caused offence to the native people and it had taken some work to convince them that they were there out of respect and to learn about their people.

Spock had been certain that this assignment would be much better for him.

Previous reports and exploration had found no hostile natives, no dangerous specimens in this area, just a lot of interesting and safe species to collect data on.

He wondered if it had been one of the other members of the Science crew here if he'd have already called out for assistance.

Yet he doubted he would. He would be putting that crew members life in jeopardy and that was unacceptable.

The humanoid males had surrounded him, four of them who stayed in crouched positions as they watched him with dark eyes, long hair obscuring most of their features. They were smaller than most human males, from what Spock could observe, and they wore no clothing. The planets atmosphere was warm with two suns present, one a little further than Earth's own and one much further out.

It kept the planet in a constantly warm state with long hours of daylight.

They told him in their native tongue that they had been watching them since their arrival. Spock was their leader.

Two of them moved in on him with incredible speed and he did not fight them off, allowing them to go through with whatever ritual they had. They pulled at his arms until he fell to his knees and then a third, strong and powerful for such small humanoids, was grabbing his legs and the first two pulled him down by the shoulders.

His lack of fight to start with, he realised, had been a mistake and even with as much effort as he could manage, he could not move them.

The fourth of the group lowered itself down beside him and pulled at his trousers. It clearly didn't understand the concept of clothing and merely pulled on the fabric with rough hands until the fabric ripped beneath it's almost claw like hands.

He could feel the air, cool to his own temperature preferences, against the exposed flesh of his stomach. Then he heard the sounds of ripping as they continued to remove his clothing. They stopped when they exposed his genitalia, they seemed confused for a moment, before they quickly flipped him over and continued with the removal of his clothing. He felt his underwear being shoved down, exposing him.

He kept his head to the side, the smell of soil rich as he breathed it in as he gasped for breaths. Terror clung to his heart but he forced himself to breath calm, deep breaths.

Panicking would not help the situation.

The ones holding him down gripped tighter and he couldn't help but tense himself at the inevitable.

The pain was almost enough to make him call out. He wanted to crawl away from it, but he couldn't move an inch, they held him so tightly.

The male made small, animal like grunts as it thrust forcefully. Spock could hear his own grunts of pain in his throat and forced himself to stop, concentrated on anything but the pain, took his mind away from what was happening to him and thought about the situation logically. It was nothing more than a show of dominance. An animal like urge to show who was stronger when threatened.

He kept his mind away from what was happening, let himself be washed over with a numbness, like his mind and body were apart from one another. He could feel his body moving with the thrusts but he could not feel the pain of it.

He could taste the soil, he realised dimly. The earthiness as his mouth opened to draw in shallow breaths, everything felt far away and distant.

He wasn't sure if it was some sort of shock from the attack or trying to keep his mind off of his own pain, but he was alarmed by his minds own slowness. He felt pain in one arm as sharp nails bit into his flesh. Confusion from one of the humanoids as green blood trickled from the slight wound on his arm and then the hot mouth as the same one that inflicted the wound tasted the blood.

It scowled at the taste and wiped its mouth messily, green blood smearing across it's face.

Spock wondered how much longer it would last. It seemed like he had been enduring this for hours, though he knew it was minutes. The humanoid impaling him made frustrated thumps on his back with its fists. Spock felt hollow as he felt the bruising fists vibrate through his body. He pounded on him again before he shifted his position slightly and continued the abuse.

It finally came to an end as he felt the hot fluid spurt out inside of him. He had a brief flash of fear as he wondered if they had actually finished with him, but then he pulled out and stood over him and Spock's arms and legs were released. The others stood and they silently crept back into the undergrowth.

He couldn't move at first. But then his logical mind kicked back in and he knew he needed too. He pulled himself off the ground and crawled over to a tree and sat with his back against the bark. He pulled his clothing to cover himself the best he could. He was decent though he would be unable to move without risk of exposure however for the moment, he did not care.

He needed to sit and piece himself back together. He needed to be logical, he needed to suppress his emotions and he needed time to be able to achieve it.

“Commander?” Came the shaky voice of Ensign Anderson.

Spock knew without a doubt that the Ensign knew what had happened here, and judging by the look on his face, he witnessed some of it. “Ensign,” Spock acknowledged because he didn't know what else he could say right then.

He crept a little closer, kept low and quiet, cautious and alert.

Spock noted he still had his sample case with him and he moved over to where Spock's had fallen to the ground. He took Spock's case which was full of samples already and removed his communicator.

“This is Ensign Anderson, requesting one to beam up from my location.”

“Received Ensign. Standby.”

Anderson closed the communicator. “I'll be right back. Don't move.”

And with that, Anderson was gone.

Alone, and grimly aware of the fact after having the comfort of a fellow crew member briefly, Spock pulled out his phaser and set it to stun.

~

Anderson headed quickly to the science lab, thrusting the case into one of the others working there. “Orders of Commander Spock, can you record and file these for him.”

Ensign Jones looked somewhat confused that Anderson had been picked to do a task for Commander Spock, but thought nothing else of it. They all knew that Spock believed they all had potential for greatness.

Sighing, Jones got to work.

Anderson picked up a new empty case and removed the compartments for the samples. He then retrieved some standard pants, checking the computer for Commander Spock's size, and stuffed them in the case. He let out a nervous breath before heading to sickbay.

It was busy enough in there. Not with patients, though there were a few, but general work being completed by the staff. He sought out the CMO and headed over, intercepted by a nurse before he got more than a few paces.

“Excuse me, can I help you?” she asked politely.

“I need to speak to Doctor McCoy.”

She glanced to where he was looking and smiled sympathetically. “I understand. I can get you a male nurse to ease your discomfort,” she suggested helpfully. He scowled at her and brushed her aside.

“I need Doctor McCoy.” he insisted, raising his voice to get the man's attention.

The Nurse blushed as all eyes were on them. “I'm sorry Doctor,” she said as he came over to them.

“It's fine, I'll handle this,” he said, his face serious. The nurse departed and he turned to the Ensign. “What's the problem?” he asked, his eyes running over the young man looking for injuries.

“I need your help, Doctor.” He said seriously.

“What's wrong?” McCoy's tone was a little impatient.

Anderson started to walk out of Sickbay and indicated the Doctor follow him. He sighed but followed him anyway. Once outside, he didn't stop walking, but he stayed close to McCoy, speaking quietly even though the halls were mostly empty.

“It's Commander Spock. He needs your assistance down on the planet.”

“He's hurt?” McCoy noticed weariness in Anderson's body language.

“Yes.”

“Did he send you to get me?” McCoy asks.

“No, Sir. But he needs you.”

McCoy didn't ask anything else, just followed the Ensign's lead.

~

Spock was aware that he was shaking. He couldn't stop himself, no matter what he tried.

He could feel the dampness from the leaked fluids below him and he wanted to move, to sit somewhere else, but it seemed such a waste of energy, so he stayed where he was. He closed his eyes, he was certain it was just for a moment, but he jolted when he heard the sound of the transporter, indicating Anderson's return. He felt reassured by his return, although he realised he was going to have to come up with a plan to get back to the ship at some point.

It took him a moment to register two bodies that had beamed back. His confusion was clearly evident.

“It's McCoy,” The Doctor said, wasting no time in getting the tricorder out. Anderson stayed a few steps away, keeping a look out. “Kid, where's the rest of the landing party?”

“They were off checking out a clearing near some water.”

“I think we should get them back to the ship.” McCoy said.

“Yes, Sir.”

“They will want to know why,” Spock said.

“It's covered, don't worry,” McCoy assured him.

Anderson watched as McCoy waved a piece of equipment over Spock's lower abdomen. He let out a quick breath before taking his communicator out again. “This is Ensign Anderson. Myself and Commander Spock have discovered an injured animal of the planet with a sizeable wound. Commander Spock has called Dr McCoy down for samples and to get a look at the animal before we beam up. The rest of the landing part is to beam up on his command.”

“Received,” came the calls back “Ready to beam up, Sir.”

McCoy took out his own communicator and held it open for Spock “Energise.” he said, managing to sound close enough to normal.

McCoy snapped it shut before taking out some hypos. “Okay, this will get you past the pain, so you can walk back to your quarters with me and this will give you a boost of energy so you don't collapse on the way there.”

“All very well, Doctor, but my attire is going to be harder to explain.”

“No,” Anderson interrupted. “Um, sorry Sir, I took the liberty of dealing with that already.” He opened the case and removed the pants.

“Good job,” McCoy said. He turned back to Spock. “We'll give that a few minutes to work and then we'll beam up.”

While they waited, McCoy pulled the new pants up over Spock's torn ones. “We should go now,” he said.

McCoy nodded. “This is McCoy, Three to beam up.”

“Aye. Stand by.”

Within seconds they were back on the ship.

“Anderson, could you take these to the science labs, Spock, I want to hear more about your theories on what you think that animal was..” McCoy was saying, the whole time they walked through sickbay, not giving anyone a chance to speak to them.

Despite the Doctor's order to go to the science labs, Anderson followed behind them, feeling strangely protective over his Commander. He got to the door before Spock's quarters before he realised he should stop.

Spock wandered inside, but McCoy noticed the boy stop.

“I'll be right in, Spock.” McCoy said.

Spock nodded as the door closed between them. McCoy turned to Anderson. “I've  got to take care of him properly now, okay?”

Anderson nodded. Stupidly, he felt tears prick his eyes, as though all that had happened had only just hit him.

Adrenaline was wearing off and what had actually happened became all too real. He felt his lip wobble and felt an idiot for being so weak in front of the CMO.

“Everything you did- that was the right thing to do. Okay? Don't ever doubt that.”

“It wasn't though.” He said. His voice cracking. “I- I got there and saw what they were doing to him and I-I didn't... I didn't try and stop them.”

McCoy looked sympathetically at him, which Anderson hadn't expected. He expected anger or rage at his confession.

McCoy let out a sigh. “Look, they over powered him and let me tell you, a Vulcan is a hell of a lot stronger than a human. So if they over powered him you bet your ass they'd have beat the hell out of you too.” He let out another sigh. “I have to go and take care of him right now okay, but when I'm done, I'm coming to find you and I need you to tell me what happened, okay? So go to your quarters and wait for me.”

He swiped away the tears that had streaked down his face, sniffed and nodded his head, and in second he was gone.

McCoy turned and entered the room. Inside, Spock was stood stock still, doing nothing. “Spock?” he said gently. He took out another hypo and shot it into Spock's neck. It took seconds for the drug to take affect and Spock was slumped in his arms. He managed to get him to his bed and lay him down.

He turned the temperature in the room up, to make sure Spock would be comfortable.

Chapter Two

“Hey, you mind if I sit here?”

Anderson looked up from where he was sat, breakfast uneaten in front of him. “Oh, go ahead.” He was tempted to get up, leave the newcomer to the table, but before he had a chance to do anything the young man in front of him was offering a hand. “I'm one of the new recruits. My names Charlie.”

He shook the offered hand. “Emmanuel Anderson. Everyone calls me Anderson.”

“Emmanuel's a great name.”

He chuckled. “I'm not so sure.”

“You look like you had a rough night. You been hitting the bar?”

“No, I just... had a bad night..” He spotted Dr McCoy enter the room, followed by the Captain and to his surprise, Mr Spock. He was clearly staring and the trio, enough for it to be a little odd.

Charlie looked in the same direction. “You a little awe struck by the Captain?”

He laughed nervously. “Yeah. I guess so. I erm, I need to go. It was nice meeting you Charlie.”

“You too.”

And with that Anderson abandoned his breakfast and headed out of the room.

~

When Bones stepped out of Spock's quarters after having spent the whole night making excuses as to why he shouldn't leave he didn't expect to literally bump into Jim just outside the door.

“Just the two I was looking for,” Jim said. “Join me for breakfast please, gentlemen.”

McCoy looked back round to Spock who raised one eyebrow and then gestured for McCoy to go first. He followed Jim as they walked to breakfast in a mostly comfortable silence, Kirk asking some pleasantries of McCoy as they went.

McCoy noticed Anderson's awkward exit shortly after they arrived, he looked to Spock who either hadn't noticed or had done an amazing job of acting like he hadn't noticed. Either option was entirely plausible.

“So Bones, what were you doing visiting Spock so early in the morning? I didn't think you liked anything before 7am ship time,” Kirk said, grinning at the man before taking another bite of his omelette.

“Just trying to coerce Mr Spock into his next physical exam,” McCoy said.

“That is a lie, Doctor.”

Kirk looked between the pair as McCoy glared at Spock, a silent communication happening between the two.

“Care to elaborate on that, Mr Spock.”

After continuing the eye contact with McCoy some more, Spock turned to regard the Captain. “Not presently, Captain. It is of no great concern.”

McCoy clearly had a difference of opinion to Spock about that as his face turned ruddy in anger and repressing said anger.

“I think I need to hear this, gentlemen.”

“Sir, now is not an appropriate time,” Spock intervened.

“Well my appetite is sufficiently ruined.”

“Not here, Jim,” McCoy adds, guessing that Kirk is expecting them to start talking now.

“Can we go somewhere then?”

~

In one of the ready rooms, Kirk agreed to sit while McCoy insisted in having a word in private with Spock outside before they spoke to Kirk. They eventually arrived back inside, Spock coming and sitting opposite Jim. McCoy lingered beside Spock before facing Jim. “What he has to say is his to say alone, Jim. I'll come and see you later.”

Jim frowned slightly. “Very well.”

Spock waited for the door to close then ordered it locked. Then, more surprisingly, he ordered the privacy code enabled for the room. No one but the Captain, Spock, McCoy or Scott would be able to access the content of the room, classifying the conversation that was about to take place.

“Doctor McCoy did not want me to discuss this matter with you. However, I feel that you should know, Captain.”

“Go ahead, Spock.” Kirk said, his face blank.

“Yesterday on the planet I did not encounter an attacked animal. I was attacked by a group of humanoid creatures-”

“Attacked?” Kirk repeated, his eyes quickly travelling Spock's body for a telltale injury he had missed.

“You will see no physical evidence, Captain. The attack was a primitive display of power, sexual in nature.”

The words stopped everything. Kirk just heard them. And nothing else. They rang over and over in his mind. “It was...” was all he muttered.

“The doctor said you would have an issue with this. Jim, I wish to assure you that I am perfectly fine-”

“You're not perfectly fine, Spock! You were just-” and he cut himself off, afraid to say the words.

“Jim, I received excellent care from Doctor McCoy. He was not visiting me early this morning, instead staying over night in my quarters. We spoke about the incident. About the way it is used as a weapon of power over others. It was a violation, Jim, but a violation of the body. The mind of a Vulcan is everything, and mine remains untouched. In fact, the skin to skin contact with the creatures allowed me an insight to the beings. The are simple. There was no malice except an attempt to frighten off a larger specie they did not understand. Therefore we should ensure that it is noted that this planet not be disturbed.”

“Spock, no matter how you have reasoned this, I can't just let this go.”

“Is it not my choice, Jim?”

“Yes, but-”

“In different circumstances, I agree that punishment is necessary. In this instant, where a specie does not understand complex social interactions as we do, I believe we would be doing more harm to them. Please, speak to Doctor McCoy. He does agree with me on this matter.”

“Spock, for years, this sort of thing was allowed on Earth. Women, who were weaker and more vulnerable, were made to suffer by man. And in the end, not just women. It can happen to anyone, male or female and by any one.”

“Yes Jim, I am aware of Earth's history.”

“You're missing the point. When all of that happened, so many times people would not speak out- for fear.”

“I can assure you Jim, I am not afraid.”

“But you won't make those responsible pay!”

“Because they do not understand. They are not civilised, not even slightly. You would have me take them to court? Do you wish for me to get my own revenge, or allow you to seek vengeance for me?”

“No-”

“That is what you are suggesting.”

“Spock-”

“Jim, please. If this had happened in a civilised society, I would seek a punishment. I do not believe we will achieve any satisfactory conclusion by going that route in this situation.”

“Spock, I promise I will discuss this with Bones, but I am still far from happy about this.”

“Noted, Captain.”