#yes it’s duskfrost

[clayexists]

I desperately need to draw wc oc lore so bad—

[qualquercoisa945]

Dear Emily,

Jesus fucking Christ, where do I even begin with you?

Okay, let’s start from the beginning. As best as I can.

We met on Warriors Amino, around December 2016 or January 2017- quite frankly, the dates are all very blurred together. But I do remember it wasn’t too long until you’d joined our roleplay group- BrambleClan, with Icey (or Leah, we’ll see which one I use as I go on) as the manager of the group chat.

We got along really well, honestly!! You were really sweet when we were just friends. I still remember how excited you were when you made DuskClan- god, do you still remember Duskfrost, your catsona? I sure do. And it was really fun, to roleplay and hang out and shit.

And then in April, we both got rejected. That wasn’t fun for sure- at least on my end it wasn’t. But I had you all, and you and Leafy, or Jenna, especially helped. You, on the other hand, you seemed... heartbroken over it. And I can’t blame you, getting rejected fucking sucks.

And yet, just a bit over a month later, you asked me out. And me, an oblivious idiot, said yes. In hindsight, this is where one of your toxic patterns begins. But we’ll come back to this later.

It was only a day or so later that I made SilverClan- my own roleplay groupchat. I’d end up regretting it later down the line, honestly, but in the beginning, we had fun! Me, you, Jenna, Leah, Carl, Flamey (who’s actual name was Shaked- maybe we’ll stick with her username) and more that weren’t quite as active.

Things were good between us for a while! We voice chatted often, we texted every day, we used Rabb.it to watch whatever we wanted together, and most importantly, we were happy. Well, I was, anyways.

Because you were suicidal. Which was fucked up, considering you were only eleven, but it was what happened. I was never quite sure if you were serious about it though- we had thousands of kilometers between us, and it wouldn’t be the only thing you’d lie about. But we’ll get to that later.

Things got messy in our friend group over the summer. Leah got jealous because we were all only roleplaying on SilverClan, which was understandable. But then she started behaving unfairly. I don’t have many exact memories of what happened- to be honest 2017 and 2018 are both a bit blurry- but I do remember in one group chat that ended up blowing up into an argument.

Many times you said you’d kill yourself if I left you. Many times you said your parents would kick you out if they found out you’re not straight. I remember times you said you’d actually ran away. And on top of it all, I get what I like to call “second hand emotions,” meaning if you’re feeling something, so am I. Long story short, our relationship was set up to be toxic at best from the beginning.

I also remember many fights- too many for me to list off all of them, but there is one I remember in particular.

See, in the summer of 2017, I got the news that my mom had lost her job. Obviously, I was really worried. So I hoped my girlfriend would offer some help. I got home, and as usual, you were being really self deprecating and stuff. So I tried to comfort you, which led to an argument. That was fairly common, really- I’d try to help and you’d end up snapping at me. I’m trying to heal from those still.

But anyways, once the argument was done and over with, I thought that, maybe I could tell you about what had happened. I still remember your response to it, word for word.

“What are you worried about, a little less money coming in? Maria, I’ve been living like that for years and I’m fine!”

Yeah, maybe you were fine. But guess what, it was a new thing for me, and I was fucking terrified. Granted, everything is fine now, but it was a new and scary thing for me so fucking forgive me for being scared out of my mind when it fucking happened.

But yeah. Moving on.

What about that “car accident”, hm?

In all fairness, I think it may have happened after we broke up. Leafy and I talked recently though, and she says it was while we were still dating. I trust her word, so I’ll take it.

Saving a kid, or whatever it was? And you sent a bunch of pics of like hospital stuff and shit. And yet, all it took was reverse image search, and Leafy found out you were lying.

I didn’t believe her back then- manipulation is one hell of a drug. But god, hindsight really is 20/20 huh? It’s so easy to see it now.

But uh, then a while after that we broke up. Or rather, I broke up with you. God, not gonna lie, I felt awful for doing it. You used just the right language to make me feel shitty about it. 

And then just a week later, you have a girlfriend? Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt. I mean, was I that easily replaceable?

I didn’t say anything. Not to you, anyways.

And a month later, in November, you said some, really fucked up shit about Leafy. It was the first time, but that was the tipping point. I kicked you out of SilverClan, and blocked you. Funny, how you managed to spend months manipulating me, but the straw that broke the camel’s back was you insulting my best friend. You were right about one thing, I am too nice.

Anyways, I’ll save you the rant about my crush on Leafy, and how fucked up my mental health was for months on end, and how SilverClan turned into a toxic hellscape that I am still recovering from the effects of, and several other stuff that happened, because god knows, if I went on about it, this thing would be pages long.

We haven’t talked in a long time. I think since Christmas? Honestly, if it weren’t for Leafy, I wouldn’t even be making this letter.

Leafy... God, I’m so grateful that we’re talking again. She’s the actual biggest sweetheart in this entire mess, and the fact that she was ever dating you makes me angrier than I ever thought I could be.

You dated her twice. Two times, she fell for you, and in an odd way, I’m sad. That I couldn’t protect her. Because I’m near certain that you pulled the same bullshit with her that you did with me. And Leafy of all people, does not deserve that shit.

And the second one, you don’t even have the fucking decency to tell her that you don’t wanna talk to her anymore. You made her find out through her fucking sister’s account. And then a day after, you’re already fucking flirting with someone else.

You know, it’s fitting, in an odd way. That the second time I feel nothing but anger towards you, it’s because you hurt Leafy again. Maybe I am too nice. Too forgiving, maybe. I dunno, honestly. And it doesn’t matter.

I’m not sure if I’m gonna send this to you. But, either way? Let me be very fucking clear- I fucking despise you. And if you ever, ever, try to come near me or Leafy again, I swear to every god known to mankind, I’ll make sure you remember exactly how badly you hurt the pair of us. And if you hurt either of us again? Well, let it be known, I don’t mind snapping at people like I did when we were dating.

Fuck you,

Alys.

[amandacheam]

Heyyyyyyyy, duskfrosssttt!! Have you ever heard of Nootmare? (nightmare, it's just somethin goin around if ya didn't know qwq)

Duskfrost: Probably yes (grinned)

DUDE YOU JUST GIVE ME THE BEST IDEA EVER!!!!(IDK IF SOMEBODY NEW IT)

Here