#yes i made 2 kids before this but
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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say hi to me i don't know, i just remembered being so much brighter, i guess
cigarette ash like wildfire burning holes in the nighttime open scars feel like barbed wire white lies flying high like a ceasefire dropping flags on the shoreline this is as far as i can feel right 'cause what you don't know can haunt you
and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think for a while
don't drag it out living like that doesn't mean a thing
so let's, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars 'cause happy endings hardest to fake
and i wanna let you know i wanna let you go but i just can't bring myself to speak but this is how it goes the end credits, they roll this bridge was built over kerosene but we can watch it and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think
so let's run, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars you can wish away forever but you'll never find a thing like today
#miraculous ladybug#felix fathom#marinette dupain cheng#felix graham de vanily#🌃#ml amv#felinette felinette felinette FELINETTE#i'm shrimping so hard i'm gromping i'm making absolute tempura#yes the 2 am coco pops félix post was made while i was finishing this yes i am constantly experiencing inconsolable félix feelings#félings even. GOD GOD GOD okay listen#i could do a line by line analysis of this song and how i made the amv i have too many thoughts to put in the tags i am exploding#but in summary REPRESENTATION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPLIQUE. FUCK ME#félix's trauma an open scar leading her to the art room as far as both of them will go to feel right#ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS TO KEEP ADRIEN AND THEN MARINETTE SAFE#it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark huAHUAHHGAG I MTHRWOING UP it's how he doesn't care what she thinks of him#how she sees him whether she hates him he's Chosen her as someone to protect and he will DO IT he will TAKE HER WHEN HE RUNS#i don't care if you beat me i know i have this under control and i'm protecting you and everything is going to be okay EXPLOIDNGNIG#tomorrow is a mile away tomorrow where i find out who you are tomorrow where we have to come apart#this is how it GOES you're the hero i'm the villain adrien is the lover i'm the monster i'm the cousin#marinette and félix and Knowing each other is so#THEY DESERVE SO MANY OTHER DAYS THEY DESERVE TO SLOW DOWN AND BE WITH EACH OTHER AND NOT HAVE TOMORROW PULL EVERYTHING AWAY AND UAHAUHGAUGH#i'm not well about them. félix and freedom and escape#ALSO i have so many feelings about félix cherishing the people he wants to save so much he was willing to do the same thing that led to#his own trauma and use the peacock miraculous TWICE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ARE YOU KIDDING ME#you can read it differently but right now come with me ARE YOU KIDDING ME#also ALSO i often think about how felinette standing in front of réplique is a reference to pv felinette#and me placing that directly before the wish is a nod to how the pv was rewritten into canon miraculous. a meta wish... felinette remains#but also in universe you can wish away the world that once was and you'll still never find another thing quite like félix#and who you were and could have been to each other today... cherish him marinette... please cherish him for me#i hit tag limit on this essay so i'm not tagging the episodes i used in the amv but i used all eight félix episodes as always
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Favourite Resident Evil Characterizations Out of All Their Games [1/?]: Short Hair Claire Redfield in Resident Evil: Revelations 2 (2015)
#crimson's gifs: resident evil#Resident Evil#RE#Resident Evil: Revelations 2#RE: Revelations 2#RE Revelations 2#Resident Evil Revelations 2#RE REV2#Claire Redfield#Sniper Claire Redfield#So this series is gonna be for both physically favourite and depiction favourite#So in terms of outfit and such this Claire is my favourite because its the only one that actually fucking branches out from her usual style#In every single RE game or series shes in shes always in a leather jacket and pony tail with blue jeans#The only outlier is degeneration#So the short hair and the long sleeved shirt really go hard as a change and also really suit her. I love the hair and wish they kept it#In death island for her instead of copy pasting her ID look#In terms of characterisation I love a more rough around the edges depiction of her reminiscent of Code Veronica#Ive always preferred Claire when shes not forced into a protector of children role and that being her entire identity#Yes shes compassionate and thats one of her main motifs but shes also a person who made a LOT of mistakes young#Including abandoning Leon and Sherry post RE2 and not looking into Simmons before he got custody of Sherry#So seeing how her ability to talk to kids has dulled over the years and her older sense of humor really works#Code Veronica and Rev2 are the only versions of her that they don't try and make her mother teresa and I love her way more that way#I feel like in all versions of RE2 shes ruined by her post re2 decisions in the way they try and paint her in-game#I haven't watched Degen in a WHILE and in ID she's just there for 5 minutes to be pissed at Leon for making a really hard decision he had t#Idk I feel like if they introduced her in code veronica and her only 2 outings were CVX and REV2 she wouldn't take any damage from it#Theme: Characterized
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Since the prsk videos playlist has over doubled in length since I last shared it here please enjoy the fruits of profound mental unwellness.
#if you saw it the last time I shared it you’ve seen up to akito speaks English everything after that is new#oops all rui + niigo#kidding. there’s some really good vbs videos/entire cast videos/wxs/rks etc#there’s just a lot of niigo videos I hadn’t seen yet and A Lot of rui videos#I did however find 3! whole! mmj! videos! (cheering)#no l/n yet the algorithm has not yet set me on that path.#vbs YY was so cute… Marissa stole the precious thing (?) parody was. something. idsmile mizu from 2 yrs ago made me wanna die.#oh also help me honami. that video is insane. cracked creator.#mine#fix my sleep schedule? no. watch hours of prsk videos? yes.#+ let me know if there’s anything in there that shouldn’t be. I try to vet everything so nothing Weird gets in but I’m tired#and occasionally I save before finishing the video and then it turns weird and while I think I unsaved anything that did I am also stupid.
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so many young women recently desiring to be stay at home mothers….the ironic part of it is that all of those women that do become stay at home moms will one day understand why the women before them fought so hard for them to not have to fulfill that role at the point at which they realize that their personhood has been entirely sacrificed in the name of motherhood & there is no going back on that. all women who are stay at home moms are forced to put themselves aside to take care of their children and husband & are forced to make that their entire identity & that is exhausting and dehumanizing. that is how betty friedan started second wave feminism w the feminine mystique. bc women finally realized that all women hated being housewives & there wasn’t smth wrong w each of them individually as they had all believed. but those that do not learn history etc etc……
#michelle speaks#being a stay at home mom is not sustainable for women in our society for a million reasons#& yet some women refuse to see that just to live out a fantasy they were sold as young girls#& for many of them i cannot blame them bc they r forced into it before they have the ability to really learn that there r other options#but for the women who r in a position where they can actively choose how to live their lives#that they would choose to be stay at home moms despite the insanely oppressive nature of it 😩#the thing is that YES there is an issue of women being forced to do economic labor & then come home & do the same amount of domestic labor#so now women r expected to do double the work right. however i want to propose a solution to this that might be crazy#women CAN & SHOULD set higher standards for men. do not marry a man that expects u to mother him. do not let him get away w slacking.#& yes that can be easier said than done. but my point being that setting higher standards for men while having independence that can allow#u to leave said man if need be is ALWAYS going to be the superior option to being entirely dependent on that man#listen i am DEEP on my sleep medication idk if anything i said made sense….#this woman on bb was like if i have 2 kids i’m not working i’ll br at home & i was like GIRL???? IN 2024???????#women should aspire to be so much more than someone’s mom…….u r a whole person w/o that.#this is mot to say that there’s anything wrong w wanting to be a mom it is abt women wanting it to be their whole identity#also this other woman keeps being like my husband LET ME be on the show girl he LET YOU???? IN 2024?????????????
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instead of grinding for finals i lost hours to a one piece wiki spiral
#IT ALL STARTED...WITH CP9S INDEPENDENT REPORT#in the most predictable fashion. ive yet again fallen for the “dangerous murder bot villains are actually a found family and genuinely care#for one another“#PLSSS THE WAY THEY ALL WORKED SO HARD TO EARN THE MONEY TO TREAT LUCCI#thinking so hard about how they are one collecfive unit. they move together they work travel live thrive together#giggled so hard at kaku giraffe slide#SOEAKING OF WHICH I JUST LEARNED KAKU IS THE YOUNGEST OUT OF CP9#HE WAS 18 WHEN THEY PLANTED HIM AND THE OTHERS IN WATER 7#im not ok im ripping my pillow to shreds punchjng the wall screaming shaking good GOD DJFJ#KALIFAS DAD WAS IN THE PREV GEN OF CP9????? SO SHES RRALLY BEEN THERE THROUGH IT ALL#thinking about lucci and jabra and blueno trio...#yes i originally was devastated to discover my favourite shipwrifjts were actually undercover government assassins but like#the found family.....maybe not found family but FORGED FAMILY THEY MADE IT WORK#i still think it's so silly that. kaku is the youngest but hes second ij terms od power and he speaks like an old man#in my ideal world cp9 brutally murders spandam and they live their best lives after doijg whatever#attention span for stats and cs??? nonexistent#but yea sure i can spend 2 hours memorizing the key detaisl from the wiki entries of all cp9 agents and making a chart and timeline#maybe this is a sign...that i need to fix this before it causes bigger issues#rambling about stuff#wait omg no last thought is how when all the cp9 members reunite after 5 years and firsg thing they do is immediately check their doriki#and jabras upset by how both lucci ajd kakus are higher than his now but then u think about how hes the oldest in their group#heck five years ago when they were sent off to water 7 those two were 23 and FUCKIJG 18 YEARS OLD#OF COURSE HES UPSET THESE TWO FUCKING KIDS ARE STRONGEE THAN HIM#who holds seniority over them. im actually devastated and extremely entertained#the last time u see the youngest of your group hes some 18 year old kid you could best in a spar. maybe even leave some words of wisdom for#then he goes and leanrs how to build ships for 5 years and comes back stronger than u#they are a family to me... HE COULD HAVE ABANDONED TJEM?!?! THEM ALL HAD THE CHOICE OF LEAVING THE OTHERS BEHIND TO SAVE THEMSELVES#BUT THEY DIDNT. HE STILL GAVE KALIFA HIS SHIRT AND CARRIED KAKU ON HIS BACK ALL THE WAY TO ST POPLAR#biting my hands hitting the wall scratchijg the floors screaming shakijg not normal about these guys#THE WAY JABRA HAS A PET CHICKEN TO COUJTER HATTORI
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I need one of those guides that's like how to date as an adult with the presumption the reader knows Nothing not even like first grade asking out fake crushes info
#rant#i havent dated in years and im demi so i was never good at that shit anyway since itll take months or more to get a crush#i need a guide thats like Every single tiny step like idk#1 download x app or go to y public spaces#2 try looking for ppl with Z qualities#maybe make a list of Z compatible qualities first then look#3 message people with those qualiries THESE starter topics#4 try to go on an in person date soon by asking them#(or vice versa. talk for montjs before a date to see if u can even crush potentially which was a friends tip once)#5 at the date try to do X honest things and topics#remember to smile? or hug? some flirt suggestions if you dont know how and arent gping to kiss#6 what to say upfront (like idk im demi want no kids) versus what to not bring up immediately (idk?)#ive looked up advice for like individual numbers i just listed lmao#and the AMOUNT of full on conflicting advice!!! made me so anxious i had to stop#itd be like: YES say youre looking to date seriouslt for marriage cause other person may not want it#and better to both know sooner. vetsus NO leave mystery dont scare ppl with assumptions on what you#expect before u even know them! and its like???!! well a human simply CANNOT follow both of those advices at once#and id get anxious i couldnt follow ALL advice and cpuldnt guess which was right or wrong advice so id stress.#i will say generally good advice (tho very basic is): communicate honestly and more is better than less if unsure#have fun and be yourself cause you should enjoy it and if they like u then you want them to like the real you.#and look for red flags of cruel behavior (in which case LEAVE) and just general inxompatibility#(a person could be a great Friend but if theyre poly with 3 long term lovers and ur very much Not poly u should#probably JUST be friends. or if your friend is straight and ur gay. or ur crush wants to move to alaska soon#and u never ever wanna go there. just like. not bad things. just incompatible things)#but also im a little fool in the complexities and i still NEED lists for specific steps#i havent had a crush in years god -.-
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as a gift to u every time i want to do a tag rant im going to rb this and do it under this 🫶 <3
(wrote a tag rantpost below but THE TAGS ARE LIMITED NOW???? 30 TAGS REACHED I CANT WRITE ANYMORE WHAT IS THIS SORCERY)
NEVER apologize for leaving long tags when you reblog from me. i am reading it like its my daily newspaper in the morning. idc if idk shit about what ur talking about, its like checking out the gossip from the next town over
#ok why not make a tag rant rn#ok so#i just came home from school and the DAY I HAVE HAD TODAY.#it was so bad im so pissed at my phy teacher#she made us write our entire journal entries again FOR PRACTICE ive literally written half a notebook like 50 pages or smth today#like that is so fucking crazy who the fuck does thay#AND she expecta us to submit out chem project AND english project tmrw#fucking hell#like who does she think we are#plus its like. im gonna pursue design after this year for uni so im going to coaching classes for the entrance exams required ONE OF WHICH#IS LITERALLY IN 22 DAYS#AND SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY 'LEAVE THE MOCK TESTS FOR NOW AND COMPLETE YOUR WORK'#like are you shitting me my final exams are in FEBRUARY#AND 2 OF MY ENTRANCES ARE IN JANUARY#why the fuck would i prioritise school work before working on my entrance exams 😭#anyways she made us do that shit for the whole day#i was ready to k¡ll#i hate her so much i hate school#i hate the indian education system (yes im from india)#ive planned to make a rantpost about this but that will have to wait until after my finals BCS I DONT FUCKING HAVE TIME#i want to literally murder someone rn (for legal reasons this is not true)#i want to punch a wall etc etc etc#im gonna go and eat asf to suppress my anger#i know suppression isnt healthy but we'll look at that after some months i guess#i hate this educational system i hate the government for doing this#i swear more than half of the world population hasnt faced this much stress in their LIVES#i am not even kidding even the teachers and all adults around me say that#that 12th grade is the hardest especially for those who take science subjects#and guess tf what my parents made me choose phy chem AND math#after 3 months istg fuck calculus fuck thermodynamics fuck organic chemistry fuck electrochemistry fuck electromagnetism fuck 3d geometry
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Okay, so, knowing the future, 'Masami' here made up her name based on someone she knew. Since there are aliases at play, we don't fully know if this man's surname (Hirota) just happens to match the professor's later, or if 'Masami' created her alias and everyone else made up a name around hers. The kanji for that name match. (The taken name of 'Masami' uses different ones, probably to give the small mystery for people to catch onto later.)
The only thing keeping me from saying it was just an alias is because Kenzou here never had his name come up as being fake while the police were investigating his murder. (And that he keeps being referred to by that name, when the big guy is never really named after we know he also used an alias.) They learn about his (lack of) family, so at least his name is real. So it's super lucky for 'Masami' that her borrowed name that acts as a hint later just happened to perfectly match with Kenzou's.
#ch 13#vol 2#Basically I'm commenting early that this name hint that gets a call back in the future#Is. A bit of a stretch of narrative#Like; sure; Gosho is the creator and deems that; even though the victim was the only one with the name Hirota#And so everyone else made up a name to pretend to be related to him#It /just so happened/ that the alias picked by our important character was actually in reference to someone else#Who happened to have the same name that she was trying to match and pretend to be family#And yes I will make a comment back to this when I get to vol 18#It's one thing to use 1412 instead of Kid for 'hee hee; maybe a few people will figure it out before it's revealed who I mean'#This is a similar vein of narrative hint in vol 18 that is really silly in comparison
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#also god bless my friend who pointed out that im moving up and im going to be in a salon soon and will actually be doing something good with#my life vs the friend who did me this way pretending shes still in high school that freaks out and loses all her friends every 6 months#i wish it didnt bother me. and i know in 2 months im going to have brushed it off and move on like i always do when bad shit happens#but for the wound being fresh this shit just fucking sucks i hate it i hate it i hate it#i made a very very very vague post on reddit just asking for advice#and the more popular reply was someone more on my side who basically said i should tell her to go fuck herself pretty much#and the second one was someone who v obviously did not actually read the post who said it was all fluff and basically defended her even#when in my post i am saying i defended myself while still listening to the shit she says#and i fucking hate reddit bc people are so.....quick to be hateful and judge#and i knew to expect people being hateful but god DAMN like you yourself are basically saying theres not enough info (yes there was) and you#still are quicker to assume im in the wrong#meanwhile everyone who knows her is like bitch we told you to not forgive her last time and now look where you are#and i am not a perfect person i have flaws the same way everyone else does. literally everyone has said and done shit they regret#and i have fucked her over before because she lost her fucking mind on a campus manager and an educator and she told me to find my own ride#home because i didnt defend her losing her shit and screaming at everyone and ended up having to write an incident report (so did the other#girls who watched it happen so nOT just me) anyways now she uses that as an excuse for treating me like fucking trash because she finally#found out about the god damn incident report which made it so now anyone can say i said anything and she just believes it#its such a fucking joke to me because like ????? girl if we were in opposite positions you would have filled out the fuckin report too#granted it was a handwritten letter and not a report but it was basically the exact same thing as an incident report#my bad that a year ago i wrote a letter saying i was scared you know where i live and that youre mentally unstable. funny how a year later i#feel the same way all over again! except i dont because im not scared of her anymore shes a fucking theater kid who needs to get a grip#i cant wait to look at my self tag again in 2 years and be like DAMN REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED#every single person who knows her that isnt friends with her (i am basically refusing to text her friends bc i dont even want to know)#keeps telling me i didnt do anything wrong and ive given her too many chances and she fucks me each time#i just wish she would go get help bro there is something so wrong with her#self
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Of course I'm gonna remember the fucked up dream I had today that didn't let me continue sleeping when I'm about to fall asleep.
#my posts#my dreams#i will write it here#it has gore and harm to a small kid/toddler so uh#saying that in case someone's curious to read. ony#only* keep reading if you are okay with thoae. but i want it out of my brain so ill write it here#after draming i got lost and stuff in a different place than the one i usually dream off and with bad weather‚ i got 'home'#not really how my house nor my neighborhood looks. kinda more like a countryside slightly older american house i guess? maybe not old but#made at some point last century#its raining but not as much as before. and something in me is like 'close every door and window. the which is done. shes about to be free.-#-dont let her in' so i closed everything. but that meant that the dream neighbor lost against her.#apparently it was a huge kinda doll house place and in it only lived a child. about 2-3years old. could walk and talk but still had diappers#i say doll house bc it was open. i could see the inside like that. and something in it looked like a doll from tbe torso up#as big as a bedroom i think? placed in a way it reminded me of a chimney#anyways the child is on the top floor screaming 'YES I WON'. she didnt tho. she just didn't know#two women in maif clothes (not the cure maid that can look sexy. the maid thats almost also nurse clothes for older people) come for her#apparently tho she lived alone she did have them to care for her#one of them picks the girl from the floor. a noise of something tearing can be heard#she says 'oh weird did your diapper break?' but the girl doesnt really say anything anymore#as shes being carried away a noise of something falling from the floor happens. a wet slapping sound#and its just.. meat. chunks of meat and organs and intestines falling out of the girls diapper bit by bit. all bloodied pieces of everything#that woke me up#and them i couldn't go back to sleep and then i tried to forget but i just remembered#im. gonna try to sleep anyways bc its almoat 3 am but.. yeah it wasnt fun lmao#the first half was decent but... no yeah no lmao
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 11:52 A.M 」
based on this and this video :)) this is fluff supply before remarried empress au part 2 is posted~
a part of gojo's love entries
satoru had always thought... you were the perfect mother to his child.
“ma...!”
your baby boy, with his white hair and blue eyes full of innocence, was crawling towards you with all his might, and you were on the other side of the bed with open arms, ready to accept him.
“yes, baby, you can do it!” you cheered, a permanent smile on your face, completely adoring satoru’s mini-him as he tried to reach you.
you really are. after all, you were the girl of his dreams first and foremost, who then became the woman he had sworn to protect forever.
“just a little bit more! aww, my baby is so cute!”
...but hey, since you were his wife above all, weren't you supposed to take care of him too? these days, you seemed to spend all your love on your son… and spared him unamused looks whenever he tried to bed you!
satoru observed as his little baby made his way towards you with visible excitement, totally capturing your attention fully. narrowing his eyes in analysis, he devised a plan.
and so, right before his kid could reach you, he immediately went over to your side, scooped up the baby and pecked you in the lips.
“oh—! satoru!”
“don’t i deserve mama’s attention too...?” he asked, eyes pleading sadly. “hmm?”
“—? waah!” but before you could react to his sneak attack, your baby son was so startled that his eyes filled up with tears. in that moment, he wrenched away from his father's grasp and hurriedly crawled towards you, seeking comfort in your arms, and you hugged him.
“there, there...” you almost laughed at this exchange as you patted his little back, sending a wink at satoru. “poor baby, what has papa done to you, huh?”
satoru pursed his lips in response, directing a slight glare on his baby, who was suddenly calm and smiley as he was smushed against your bosom, looking at him with those wide eyes—as if flaunting his victory.
the little fiend, he thought. i’ll show him!
“listen you...”
and half an hour later, he cornered the boy against the wall, trying to assert his position.
“we need to share mama. you're taking all. her. time.” satoru emphasized, eyeing his baby with narrowed eyes. the boy looked back at him with clear disinterest, merely blinking.
satoru huffed righteously. “you gave her severe tummy ache when you were still inside that i had to stay up to soothe you, and now when you're out... you monopolize her love! how is this fair? what am i left with?!”
baby blinked, leaning inquisitively towards him.
“do you understand me? i need my wife bac— gyaaah!”
you literally ran out of the kitchen when you heard satoru’s sudden yell, thinking something had happened. “satoru! what’s wrong—”
only to arrive at the scene of the most amusing sight imaginable. your husband was on the brink of panic as your baby, with a vengeful expression, chomping down on his nose.
“he ate my nose! help! HEEELP!”
#𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk drabbles#jjk crack#gojo satoru#satoru x reader#jjk imagines#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru fluff#jjk fluff#gojo x you#satoru gojo fluff#jjk x reader fluff#gojo fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk fic#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#gojo satoru imagines#dad!gojo#jjk gojo satoru#jutusu kaisen x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo
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Miami Baby | MV33
☆ summary: actress and avid f1 fan visits the paddock for the first time and she is a certain world champion’s celebrity crush.
☆ pairing: max verstappen x famous!reader x grid!platonic
☆ fc & warnings: suggestive! you are responsible for the content you consume.
☆ requested: nope!!
☆ a/n: this was one of the first fics i ever started writing and just havent had the nerve to post it. this is my first time posting a written and smau fic so bear with me here 🥹
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
ynuser has added to their story
[story 1: guess what i’m up to this week] [story 2: princess treatment fr 💅🏻]
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user2: MIAMI GRAND PRIX?!
user4: omg are you finally going to a grand prix!!!!???
yourbff: AND SHES DRIVING A FERRARI?!
ynuser: YES!! this is a dream come true
yourbff: i’m so happy for you y/n/n 🤍 FORZA FERRARI!!!!
ynuser: FORZA FERRARI
tomholland2013: Hope you have the best time in Miami!! Z says that you have to come with us to Silverstone tho
ynuser: thank you tommy!! count me in 🫶🏻
user3: MAMA Y MIAMI
user1: car or driver - level impossible
ynuser has made a post
liked by scuderiaferrari, carlossainz55, sabrinacarpenter, zendaya and 2,657,101 others
ynuser: hot new driver alert, watch out boys! Make sure to catch my hot lap with The Carlos Sainz and say hi if you see me this weekend in Miami 🫶🏻❤️🏎️
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user3: the way she was giggling like a little kid as carlos whipped the car around , oh i love her
user4: no bc she’s finally at a gp living her dreams
user6: she’s literally just another celebrity?
user5: user6 you don’t know the lore! she’s been an f1 fan since before she got famous and she’s been friends with rebecca and alex for quite a while
carlossainz55: had an absolute blast driving with you! looking forward to seeing you this weekend!
ynuser: likewise!!!
scuderiaferrari: bellissima! ready for an exciting weekend ❤️
iamrebeccad: hottest hot lap i’ve ever seen😍😍
maxverstappen1: hot lap with me next
charlesleclerc: since when do you do hot laps?
user8: AM I READING THIS RIGHT
user9: MAX!???????????
user10: i’m sorry is the max verstappen trying to flirt rn
charlesleclerc has posted a story
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ynuser: thank you charlie 🫶🏻
charlesleclerc: bien sûr y/n
user3: do you wanna be my chauffeur next?
maxverstappen1: charles you have got to introduce me to her
charleslerclerc: to who?
maxverstappen1: y/n
charlesleclerc: max are you ok?
maxverstappen1: what do you mean??? yes, i am ok??
charlesleclerc: i’m just shocked you willingly want to be introduced to someone??? let alone a celebrity?
maxverstappen1: charles 🙄
maxverstapppen1: she may or may not be my celebrity crush ok
charlesleclerc: ohhh mon ami you should have said that sooner
charlesleclerc: i’ll get alex and rebecca on the case 😉
maxverstappen1: oh god no charles i just meant an introduction i don’t need anyone on the case 😭
user12: 3 pretty best friends
user14: the little matching outfits?! im sick
ynuser has added to their story
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user15: you were made to wear ferrari merch
iamrebeccad: can’t wait to show you off to all the other boys 😍
ynuser: but you’re the only one i want 😫
iamrebeccad: i know darling but im not the only one who wants you 😉
ynuser: CRYPTIC what does that mean
alexandrasaintmleux: i’m so glad we finally got you to ferrari mon amour but we should definitely take a walk around the paddock!! you can meet some drivers that aren’t in red - maybe some blue
ynuser: i’ll go anywhere with you
maxverstappen1: i think red bull blue would look better on you
ynuser: blue? perhaps!
user17: begging to know where you got that belt it’s so slay
user22: one of these drivers has got to wife you up you’d be the best wag
user18: can’t wait for all the pictures of you on the grid
ynuser has added to their story
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charlesleclerc: find max! he’ll help you get back to ferrari
user14: steal all their notes and bring it to ferrari so we can have a better car
landonorris: come to mclaren its way better here
ynuser: ok then come get me muppet i’m lost 😭
user87: steal one of the cars and give it to carlos!!!
user23: ms girl what are you doing there?? i thought you were supposed to be filming your new movie!
iamrebeccad: 🤭🤭🤭
ynuser: oh so you did this on purpose?
user55: project get ferrari a rocket ship is a go
~~
The pit lane was humming with activity as mechanics and team members alike continued with their duties after a productive qualifying session. You glanced around looking for your friends, alex and rebecca, who had convinced you to take this walk in the first place, but you couldn’t find them in the sea of red bull employees. Letting out a sigh you pulled out your phone hoping to see some sort of reply from either them but there was nothing.
"y/n?" a familiar voice questioned, startling you out of your thoughts. you were met with a confused looking max verstappen and you felt your cheeks heat. max was still in his white fireproofs with his suit pulled down around his waist and you'd be lying if you said he didn't look incredible. you may have accidentally admitted to alex that max was your crush on the grid and you had a sneaking suspicion thats why both her and rebecca magically disappeared leaving you here.
"yes! hi max!!" you said quickly, holding out your hand for him to shake. "it's a genuine honor to meet you!" max looked down at your outstretched hand and paused for a moment before taking it in his own.
his hand engulfed yours as a grin stretched across his face, "the honor is mine, y/n - i'm actually a pretty big fan of yours."
"you are?"
max chuckled, "yes? is that hard to believe?"
"no, no .. i just didn't think you'd know who i was! i mean - im just surprised is all," you said quickly, realizing you were stumbling over your words but max didn't seem to be phased.
"don't be surprised, you are quite talented," max took a sip from his red bull can and you watched as his eyes danced around the pit lane. "do you want an escort back to ferrari?"
"yes, please."
"great, come with me," max rested his hand on the small of your back as he ushered you through the red bull garage and back to the paddock. he made idle chit chat as you tried your very best to focus on anything other than the electricity you could feel from where his hand met the fabric of your dress.
"ahh there you are mon amor!" alex cooed as you and max approached the ferrari hospitality. rebecca looked between you and max with a knowing look on her face. you made a mental note to talk to them both later about how they couldn't just leave you places unattended even if it meant meeting max.
"well would you look at this," charles patted max on the back as he walked past taking his place next to alex. he had a devilish smirk plastered across his handsome features as his eyes travelled between the two of you.
"max was kind enough to help me navigate my way back here after alex and rebecca so sweetly ditched me in the pit lane."
"oh was he now? well then we must repay my dear friend! how about you come to the club with us after the race tomorrow max?" charles looked expectantly at his friend.
max let out a sigh, "i suppose i could be persuaded."
"thats the spirit!" charles clapped his hands together, "i'll text you the details mon ami."
a night club? in miami? with max verstappen? this ought to be interesting.
~~
ynuser has posted multiple stories
[story 1: race day let’s go] [story 2: im not crying!! YOU are] [story 3: idk if miami can handle us @.alexandrasaintmleux]
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user16: you crying over lando winning his first race is so real
landonorris: i am crying u r right girl
ynuser: as long as ur not cryin in the club
landonorris: not yet !! but the night is young!!
user22: ok body is tea wtf
alexandrasaintmleux: you’re so beautiful i love you so much
ynuser: YOU are so beautiful. i love you more my girl
yourbff: why are you !! a ferrari!!! crying over a mclaren?!
ynuser: bc it’s lando and we love bob in this house
yourbff: ok yeah fine
user12: miami is NOT ready for your hotness that’s for sure
ianrebeccad: ok i need to borrow that outfit from you asap. also pls get to the club faster im stuck here without you both 🥹
ynuser: you’re the one who wanted to “get ready” with carlos and not us soooooo
user44: i’m foaming at the mouth
maxverstappen1: understandable to cry over me not winning
ynuser: i’m glad you get it 😫
user45: that’s not a face card, that’s a whole face economy
user33: who are these divas?
~~
max could feel the music pounding through his chest as his fellow club goers danced to the beat. feeling all sorts of nerves, he brought his gin and tonic to his lips and took a few big gulps hoping the liquid courage would hit him soon. his eyes couldn’t help but follow you as you swayed your entire body to the music without a care in the world. readjusting the hat on his head, he watched as your skirt inched lower on your hips and he could almost feel his mouth start to water.
“max just go and talk to her!” charles yelled over the music pulling max out of his thoughts.
“i can’t.”
“quoi? what do you mean you can’t?”
“she’s just… i just… i can’t!” max finished off his drink and set it down on the table in front of him. “i mean look at her,” max explains throwing his arms up in exasperation, “she’s so beautiful!! i’m not sure i’d even know what to say.”
“just ask her to dance or to get another drink!” charles looked over to you, alex and rebecca as you danced with carlos and lando.
“i can’t.”
“max - if you don’t i guarantee someone else is going to try and make a move on her.” charles was now staring max down with a scowl on his face, “and i know that would upset you more than just growing some balls and talking to her!”
max frowned, realizing his friend was right. “i’m just scared she won’t like me.”
“i have insider knowledge that says she fancies you.”
max’s eyes widened, “and you didn’t lead with that?”
“no because i wasn’t supposed to tell you!! now please for the love of god let’s go get her.”
max and charles navigated their way through the sea of bodies until they made it to your little group. you looked up at max with a bright smile and he felt the butterflies in his stomach intensify. before he lost all of his nerve, he blurted out “get a drink with me?”
you nodded, “i’d love to!” max smiled and grabbed your hand so that he wouldn’t lose you in the mass of people.
there was very little available space at the bar which left you leaning against the counter and max directly behind you leaning against you so that he could hear the bartender. not a single coherent thought was going through your head, all you could focus on was the way max’s body rested against yours, the warmth it offered you, the way he was resting his strong hands on either side of you and how if you turned you’d be face to face and able to kiss him right on—
max tapped on your shoulder pulling you out of your thoughts and earning a slight jump from you. “the bartender asked what you wanted to drink, y/n” max explained into your ear causing goosebumps to spread like wild fire across your skin.
the bartender was looking at you expectantly, “oh! i’ll take a gin and tonic please!!” you panic ordered not being able to come up with anything else on the spot. “so sorry,” you quickly added as the bartender turned to make your drink. mentally you scolded yourself for not being able to get it together but boy was keeping it together hard when the max verstappen was very much taking up your personal space.
after thanking the bartender for your drinks, max took a step back allowing you to turn and look at him. he was in a pair of his classic skinny jeans, a backwards black cap, a black tshirt that hugged his arms perfectly and he wore a soft smile as he looked down at you with his big blue eyes. “wanna dance?” you asked before taking a gulp of your drink.
max’s grin grew, “absolutely.” you decided not to give him any time to reconsider and instead grabbed his hand and drug him out to the dance floor. you could feel eyes on you both but you didn’t care. “i should likely preface this with the fact that i’m not much of a dancer,” max admitted sheepishly. he was taking note of how close you both were now. you had stopped rather abruptly in the middle of the dance floor leaving him so close to you that he could steal your breath if he really wanted and oh boy did he want to.
you laughed effortlessly, “everyone is a dancer if they try hard enough, max!" The DJ began playing a remix of one of your favorite songs and max watched intently as you began moving to the music. He threw back the remainder of his drink and made quick work of discarding it, feeling more courageous now.
you quickly noticed max was still very much standing completely still. “it’s all in the hips,” you cooed putting your free hand on his hips and pushing him so he would move. max obliged and began swinging his hips back and forth timidly, not having a ton of room to move out at the center of the dance floor. "atta boy!" you praised giving him a smirk.
max almost choked on air at that comment from you — what could he say? he was a sucker for praise and that comment gave him the confidence he needed to place both hands on your hips and pull you in so that your body fit snuggly against his own. max had a feeling that this was going to be a very good night.
~~
f1gossip has made a post
liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, user5, user6 and 26,264 others
f1gossip: last night max verstappen and actress y/n y/l/n were seen attending a party with many of the grid members. they seem to have gotten very cozy out on the dance floor sharing quite a few kisses. it’s also reported that the pair were seen leaving together at the end of the night.
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user1: OMG WHAT MY WORLDS COLLIDING
user2: nah he looks so fine in that hat omg
user8: i knew him offering that hot lap had to mean something
user6: they’re both so hot i’m sure their night was … actually imma stop myself before i get banned
user3: this was orchestrated by alex and rebecca i just know it
user8: i could see charles and lando getting in on it too tbh
user4: jealousy doesn’t look pretty on me but dear lord am i jealous
user5: he may have bagged the baddest baddie alive.. how did he manage that in those skinny jeans
user4: listen those skinny jeans make his thighs look real biteable
user5: and you got me there
user9: need more max and y/n content asap
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
a/n: thank you for reading!! likes and reblogs are very much appreciated 🤍
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction
© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform
#f1 fandom#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 fic#mv33 x you#mv1 x you#mv33 imagine#mv1 imagine#mv33 fic#mv1 fic#mv1 x reader#mv33 x reader#max verstappen social media au#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic
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ੈ✩ My personal volkov (smau) ੈ✩
pairing : max verstappen x fem reader
summary : max verstappen got married, and his fiancé cannot stop sharing their twisted love
tw : suggestive, fluff
a/n : thank you so much to @amberjazmyn for suggesting this ! lysm 🫶🏻 also, if not obvious, the fic contains references of twisted love by Ana Huang 🫶🏻
·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・ ・゚·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・・゚·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚
liked by user1, user2, maxverstappen1, yncooper and 2,482,492 others
landonorris helping him take over the husband duties
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fransisca.gnomes good job with the ring max 🌟💪🏻
maxverstappen1 your approval was only needed 🙄
maxverstappen1 aslo norris, I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THE PICTURES, I was supposed to announce MY ENGAGEMENT
landonorris best friends right ? maxverstappen1 meet me in Abu Dhabi
user1 AHAHAHAHA
user2 MOM AND DAD ARE MARRIED
user3 MR AND MRS VERSTAPPEN !?
user4 I want to taste both max and the pasta he made -
charlesleclerc Y/N, you sure you want to deal with his anger issues for life !?
maxverstappen1 WHAT ANGER ISSUES!?
yncooper exactly the way you are screaming over text in CAPS
yncooper and yes Charles, those anger issues lead tobest fucking of my life
maxverstappen1 Y/N!? HELLO!?
charlesleclerc I regret saying anything
lewishamilton then please calm him before every race, this lad is climbing over my car every time 🫷🏻
georgerussell you are using an emoji !?
lewishamilton so what ? 🤺
georgerussell you need to learn the correct usage of them
user5 they forgot we can see this-
user6 the freakiness on public account !?
user7 I don’t even want to imagine the private -
user8 no worries, some nudes might be there 🍑
user9 BUNDA
user10 🗿💀
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, user1, user2, and 283,391 others
yncooper engaged men do it faster 😮💨🌟
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user1 yn never beating the freaky allegations
user2 I won’t be surprised if max whips out handcuffs
user3 they definitely spend millions on bdsm
user4 the dress has easier access-
user5 WHY ARE THE FANS MATCHING THE FREAKINESS !?
maxverstappen1 my skills were top notch since d1
yncooper true, best first date ever 🫶🏻
user6 YALL TELLING ME THEY GOT FREAKY ON FIRST DATE !?
user7 I won’t be surprised if they were just dating for 2 months
user6 surprisingly , they waited for two years 💀
user8 PROJECT VERSTAPPEN IS GOING TO HAVE SOME FINE LOOKS?
user9 blonde, blue eyes, rich parents, yup I would get my kid to befriend their kid
user10 their kid or befriend the kid’s parents 🗿
user11 MAX WINNING THE 100 WDC
user12 that’s biologically impossible 🦅
charlesleclerc do you both bother reading what your fans write ?
yncooper yes, sadly me and max don’t have twisted love
user13 DID SHE QOUTE TWISTED LOVE !?
user14 max and Alex volkov….
user15 THATS A SMASH
user16 I get a TMI every time she posts ✋🏻
liked by maxverstappen, mclaren and 1,485,398 others
redbullracing the three aspects of happy married life “ Stress, tears and beer” 🍻
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user1 my wife said they quoted perfectly 🗿
user2 admin has marriage trauma
user3 admin got too real 💀
user4 max is going after the admin with a knife for posting that pic
user5 them crying on the altar 😭
user6 they are so cute 😭🥹
maxverstappen1 the middle and last picture is perfect ❤️
redbullracing the best for the best 🌟
ynverstappen my heart 🥹 thank you for capturing the sweet and teary moments ❤️
redbullracing welcome to red fam ❤️
user7 y/n chugging down beer is somehow the most y/n thing she could do
user8 max watching y/n chug down 10 glasses of beer be like-
landonorris @ mclaren will I also get such appreciation post on my wedding ?
mclaren a wedding needs two humans Lando
landonorris I have Oscar 🧡
mclaren kindly do not engage in spoiling Oscily 🧡
user9 WE SUPPORT OSCAR AND LILY
user10 admin shutting down lando for Oscar and lily 😭
liked by maxverstappen, landonorris and 2,497,499 others
ynverstappen the eyes never lie, my Alex Volkov 💋
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carlossainz55 you both deserve the world ❤️
liked by ynverstappen
lewishamilton if you ever have marriage troubles, just call me up
maxverstappen1 says the unmarried virgin man
ynverstappen the person staying virgin for the next few month would you max and THANK YOU LEWIS FOR THE LOVELY GIFT 🫶🏻
lewishamilton your welcome yn ❤️
charlesleclerc what did he give …..
ynverstappen Cheval Blanc 1947
charlesleclerc Lewis, I am your teammate, I deserve that too 🫶🏻
landonorris you managed to click a photo max without his racing suit …
ynverstappen I have a whole album ..?
landonorris send me few
ynverstappen nude, semi-nude, shirtless or with clothes ?
comments on this post have been restricted
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen blurb#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen smau#max verstappen fic#max verstappen social media au#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 x you#f1 social media au#f1 smau#f1#formula 1#smau#max verstappen#f1 texts#formula 1 one shot#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fic#f1 2024
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DPxDC John Constantine's How To: Ghost Kids (pt.2)
[<- part 1]
"Oh, yeah," John jerks his head up like he just remembered the fact people are supposed to have names at all. He gestures to the kids, pointing to each of them as he introduces, "Daniel, Daniel, and Danielle."
This time, all three kids flip him off simultaneously. Bruce clears his throat, trying to figure out if Constantine is messing with him and, if so, in which parts. Since, so far, everything the man has said sounds like a poor attempt at pulling his leg.
"I don't think they like those," he cautiously says, and the kids whip their heads at him, nodding furiously. Bruce can't help but be just a little enamored with the way they behave.
"Of, sod off, at this point I don't care what they like," John straightens up with a dismissive, albeit weak, wave of his hands, and rubs his face, "They are menaces. Sometimes by accident, but mostly on purpose. Their grandfather thought it would be easier to handle them if they were not teenagers, and while I agreed with his reasoning at the time, I-" he glances at the kids, who all have displeased grimaces of various levels on their faces, "I have been made to reconsider. I swear that ancient bitch is laughing his ass off wherever he is now."
The kids suddenly grin. They are not very friendly, nor polite smiles - if anything, they look a bit nightmarish. An old grandfather's clock in his study makes a very loud ticking noise.
"See?" John whips his head to look at said clock, the expression on his face bordering on insane. His eye twitches.
If Bruce doesn't do anything now, he might become one of the very few people who managed to witness John Constantine, the Laughing Magician, have a meltdown. So he sighs and decides to solve the problems one at a time.
Which means that no matter how alarmed or suspicious he is, his first move would not be to interrogate either the man or the kids.
"You can sleep in one of the guest rooms, I trust you can find it on your own," he tells John, almost softly, as he catches the girl from slipping away from his lap, "Is there anything I need to know about children before you fall unconscious?"
John slumps with relief, so obviously that Bruce almost smiles. Hardships of raising - or, watching, for that matter - kids, he understands.
"Yes," he breathes out with an air of exhilaration and turns to the kids again, pointing to the middle child, "Danny is the original. He is from this dimension and timeline, that is. Dan," he turns his finger to the older boy, "is in the wrong timeline, he's Danny's future evil self redeemed into older bratty brother. Dani," he switches to the girl, "is Danny's clone, made by his arch-nemesis of a godfather. If she starts melting at any point, wake me up immediately. If any of them start floating, sprouting tentacles, speaking to walls in static, or glowing, don't."
Bruce looks down to the kids. So, definitely metas, that would explain the government trying to get them... Or, no, it wouldn't because he is fairly certain no government is going to blatantly ignore the Meta Protection Acts.
"Don't let them raise the dead, and if you give them food, make sure it doesn't have a face. If you find more than three of them, it means one of them has duplicated, don't worry, they will absorb it back later. Absolutely don't let them touch any guns," Constantine is backing down to the door as he speaks, his gaze flickering from the kids to Bruce and back every second. Like he is leaving a ticking bomb in Bruce's lap, and not three children. "Danny is, comparatively, the most responsible one, the other two are up for any dubious trouble they can get to at any moment. Oh, and their memories are wonky because of de-aging, they remember some things but not others, so if they say something particularly disturbing, it's most likely some random piece of knowledge they managed to keep."
Bruce raises an eyebrow. He did get the part about the kids being, well, abnormal in the matters of their origins, but the disjointed set of rules and advices doesn't help as much as Constantine probably thinks it does.
"Allergies, preferences, ages they were before?" He tries to get at least some more info down before John disappears through the door. Actually, maybe he should send someone to handcuff the man to the bed lest he disappears completely.
"None, but don't let them eat cutlery. Danny likes space, Dani has a thing for exploring, and Dan likes violence." The older kid stirs in Bruce's lap and says something in the direction of Constantine. No sound comes out, but the man seems to get what he's trying to say anyway, "Okay, yes, that was rude of me, sorry. Dan likes... exercise," he ends up with, and that placate the boy enough to slump down and cross his arms. John sighs, "They were seventeen, fourteen, and twenty respectively. Now," he snaps his fingers, and suddenly Bruce can hear the girl - Dani - humming a tune under her breath. So, he lifted the silence spell, it seems.
"Good fucking luck," John wishes to Bruce, earnestly, and all but vanishes away.
Bruce sighs and looks down to the kids.
"Are you hungry?" He tries, and all eyes are on him at once, attentive and unblinking.
"Fruitloops," Danny says, and while Bruce is positive that's the name for a cereal, he gets a feeling that's not what the kid meant.
#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#batman#batfam#john constantine#bruce wayne#dan phantom#dani phantom#de aged danny#de aged dani#de aged dan#constantine the tired mom#bruce the dad who was suddenly left in charge#and the three ghost kid menaces#cork writes#cork prompts#and im done with this ficlet#feel free to keep going#no part 3#sorry
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