#yes I know I've got a bunch more fics and prompts in progress

[hrtiu]

omg happy birthday!🥳 I hope you're having an amazing day with lots of sunshine, tasty food and happiness.

If you're feeling inspired can you write some domestic bliss with foxiyo? I'm thinking maybe when they're both old(er?) since that's something rarely explored (at least as far as I've seen). Idk I just think they'd be that cute elderly couple yk 😭

Thanks for the prompt and the birthday wishes! Sorry I wasn't able to finish it right away, but hey. I haven't written any fic in months so this is still pretty good for me??

I haven't really edited this so... hopefully it's ok???

Riyo Chuchi could not sleep.

She stared up at the dim, roughly-textured ceiling and blew out a breath. There was a time when she’d work herself so hard every day that she could barely keep her eyes open long enough to fall into bed rather than on the floor. And now she regularly found herself waking up in the wee hours of the morning, her body tired and aching but her mind stubbornly and insistently awake.

She rolled over onto her side and sighed. No, this position wasn’t any better. She felt no less restless, no less stretched thin by unwilling wakefulness. Across the bed from her, Fox’s broad back slowly expanded with a deep inhale. Riyo smiled to herself. At least the view was better on her side.

After another half hour of staring at Fox’s back, Riyo admitted defeat and got out of bed. She went to the ‘fresher, brushed her teeth, and combed her snow-white hair. The texture of her hair was wiry and tough--both its color and texture a far cry from the famously-luscious lavender locks of her youth. Then she went to her terminal and checked her messages. 

A few updates from Ahsoka, a brief, businesslike note from Mom Mothma, and a bunch of adverts. Great. Riyo wondered how she hadn’t appreciated the days when her terminal was stuffed to bursting with urgent messages--full of people wanting her assistance, her opinion, her time. It had been overwhelming, yes. But at least she’d felt needed.

She spent a while--much longer than necessary--answering her messages. Then she checked the news and let her eyes glaze over as the goings-on of distant planets filled the terminal. Several hours passed this way, and the sun finally began to peak through the closed shades of her study.

“Been up long?” Fox’s gravelly voice broke through Riyo’s near trance.

She looked up at him and smiled wryly. “A little while,” she said, knowing he would catch her understatement.

He crossed the room to her, his stiff leg traveling just a little slower than the other. He rested his hand on her shoulder, and she couldn’t help but notice the slight tremble to his once-firm grip.

“I’m sorry, my sun,” he said. “The meds aren’t helping?”

“They help me fall asleep, but I just can’t stay asleep for long,” Riyo said with a shrug. “I could take more, but I don’t want to overdo it.”

“That’s probably wise. You should wake me up next time. I’d be happy to keep you company.”

“At least one of us should be getting rest,” Riyo protested.

Fox let out a noncommittal sound and lowered himself into the chair next to her. 

Riyo rested her head on his shoulder, her whole body relaxing at the familiar contact. As her muscles melted into him, he still felt stiff beneath her. He hid it well, but she knew how uncomfortable the stiffness that held every joint in his body tight must be. He had once been a super soldier, a man in peak physical condition. If she was missing the way she used to feel, how hard must it be for him?

She peaked up at him through her lashes, his silvery stubble and strong nose still so attractive to her, after all these years. 

“How are you doing, love?” she asked. “I know you must be having trouble, too.”

Fox shook his head. “No, not at all.”

Riyo couldn’t hold back her snort. “I was at your last doctor’s appointment. I know your condition is progressing. But you never complain!” She sat up, turning in chair to face him fully. “You know you can always tell me how you feel, right?”

“Of course,” Fox said, taking her hands in his. “And you are right. I wake up in pain every day. It’s getting more difficult to walk. And I’m frustrated that I can’t trust myself with a blaster anymore.”

It was what she’d asked for, but still Riyo’s heart constricted in her chest. Fox was in pain, and she knew he wouldn’t even acknowledge any pain if it wasn’t significant. She squeezed his hands. “Fox…”

“But I’m happy, Riyo,” Fox cut in, firm and confident. “The pain is a nuisance, but it doesn’t bother me that much. I hardly even think of it.”

“How can you not think of it? It affects every step you take. It keeps you from doing so many things you love-”

“I don’t think of it, because I am happy.”

Riyo shook her head, feeling that she was still missing something. “I just don’t understand. Here I am, every day complaining and pitying myself for all the most common, least inconvenient inevitabilities of aging. But there you are, happy and unbothered while you deal with this diagnosis. Either something is wrong with you, or something is wrong with me.”

“Nothing is wrong with you. This diagnosis isn’t easy for me, but it is so much more than anything I ever expected.”

Any words Riyo could think to respond with died in her throat. What could she say to that? Especially when she knew what he said was true?

Fox stood up, moving slowly but with purpose. He held a hand down to her and she took it, rising to her feet at his side. 

One hand still holding hers, Fox stroked his fingers down a wisp of white hair that had escaped Riyo’s utilitarian bun. “Do you know how lucky I feel to be able to grow old with you? I never expected to grow old. Period. And now I get to experience it with the woman I care most for in the entire galaxy? Every grey hair. every aching joint, every hand tremor--every one is a privilege.”

A tear slipped down Riyo’s cheek, and she pressed her forehead to his. Her body still felt heavy and tired, and she still mourned for her youth long gone. But some of the weight of sorrow lifted from her shoulders.

“The privilege is all mine,” she said, meaning it with every ounce of her being.

[sproutwings]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

The lovely @crestfallercanyon tagged me for this weeks ago, and I haven't been ignoring it - I just didn't get around to it sooner. Sorry!

How many works do you have on AO3? 380 (382, technically, because two are still anon/unrevealed exchange works.)

What’s your total A03 word count? 1,123,214

What fandoms do you write for? Currently, mostly DCU, The Flash and a bunch of tiny fandoms, but I've been writing fanfic for ages, so I went through quite a few fandoms.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

a) cut me open, take my heart (DCU, JayTim, 1744 kudos) b) A Bird in the Hand (DCU, Dickstroke, 1694 kudos) c) Hook(er), Line and Sinker (The Flash, Coldflash, 1586 kudos) d) No Shortage of Blood (Original Works, Starving Vampire/Vampire Hunter Having A Moral Crisis, 1453 kudos) e) Portrait of the Artist as a Middle-Aged Man (Gossip Girl, Dan/Blair/Chuck, 1149 kudos)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I always try to, but sometimes it takes a while to get around to it. /o\

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have no idea. I used to write a lot of angsty stuff back when I was younger but the older I get the more I gravitate towards fics that leave the characters in a... well, maybe not necessarily in a good place exactly, because I tend to ship a lot of dysfunctional ships and write unhealthy relationship dynamics, but I don't want the characters to feel hopeless and unhappy in the end, so even when they're in a bad situation, they're making the best out of it.

A very old, very angsty fic of mine is Too Close To Touch (Harry Potter, various permutations of Draco, Harry and Hermione). I don't know if it's the angstiest overall, but it occasionally still gets comments so it's fresh in my mind despite having been written almost two decades ago.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh no, this is similarly hard to answer. Maybe Throw Away the Plan (The Flash, Coldwestallen)? Most of my endings seem to be "the main conflict of the story is dealt with, the ship kisses and things are okay-ish for now". 🙃

Do you get hate on your fic? Maybe once or twice, but nothing dramatic or memorable, luckily enough.

Do you write smut? Sometimes.

Do you write crossovers? No.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes! Someone copied a few of my fics word by word, replaced the names and posted them as Kpop RPS. D: D: D: I got the author to take them down, but they did it with a lot of people's fics and eventually AO3 banned them.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, a few! I blanket allow translations, as long as they're credited properly and not posted anywhere but AO3.

Have you ever co-written a fic? Yes, but it was a really long time ago, and coordinating was pretty stressful. I prefer to work on my own schedule.

What‘s your all-time favourite ship? Noooo, don't make me choose. I love so many ships! If I absolutely had to pick one, it would be Tommy/Bubonic from Eye Candy, but it mostly depends on what I'm in the mood for right in that moment.

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? There's Coldflash BDSM fic based on a long-forgotten Tumblr prompt I would have loved to write one day, but it would be far longer than anything I'm comfortable writing and it's only 'in progress' in so far that I have a few dialogue snippets from it written down yet.

What’s your writing strengths? Character voices and snappy banter, probably.

What’s your writing weaknesses? Plot!!!! As you can see by every fic I've written where the characters get captured or attacked by some nameless villain for nebulous reasons. I always handwave stuff like that because I simply can't bring myself to care about it or put any thought into it. 😅 Sorry!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? As a reader, It always throws me out of the story. :(

First fandom you wrote for? The X-Files! Mulder/Krycek was teenage Sandrine's first fanfic obsession. (Though technically, I wrote terrible Star Wars and The Three Musketeers fic long before I knew what fanfic was! But I've decided that doesn't count. 😅)

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

(never been) so much at stake (OW, Vampire Moonlighting As A Barista/Exhausted Vampire Hunter In Search Of Caffeine) is probably the best, but The Biggest Score of All (The Flash, Coldflash) has my heart!

I'm supposed to tag people here, and I'm terrible at this, so @waysheswings, @sunherirai, @moriavis, @zeroducks-2, @hithelleth, @elasticella - if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged and if you want to ignore it, pretend I never mentioned your name. And anyone else who sees this and wants to answer, you're also tagged! Yes, I mean YOU. :D

[keldae]

Drastic Measures

Theron Shan had never been known as a quitter before. While he had a unique talent for taking a perfectly normal situation and making it a chaotic disaster (and somehow still coming out all right in the end), and had some of the worst attachment issues and workaholicism in the galaxy, he’d never been accused of simply laying down and giving up (and in fact had been known to tell people off for resorting to that themselves).

His actions and situation over the past several months wouldn’t have really confused anyone who’d known him before the Zakuulan invasion, even though he was currently on the enemy’s homeworld itself. He didn’t really stand out- a human on this world didn’t attract too much attention. And he was a spy, never minding that he no longer was employed by the SIS- it wasn’t unreasonable that he’d been able to infiltrate the Spire’s officers and got the opportunity, after weeks of work, to scout out the majority of the vertical city. And he was on comms blackout, why else would he have not contacted Korin to fill him in on whatever he might have found?

But today was a big day. Theron had already programmed a few messages to the people he still cared about, set to be sent when he activated his plan. One for his father (This wasn’t your fault, it’s all on me. There’s nothing you could have done. It’s better this way.), one for his mother (I forgive you for leaving me. Don’t spend the rest of your life kicking yourself for this. There’s nothing you could have done that would have made a difference in this.), and one for Korin (Remember that idiot plan I mentioned and you punched me for even thinking of? I did the thing. Please don’t do anything stupid, that’s my job.). He’d collected his gear, with the necessary additions today, and hid his equipment in his deep pockets. The charges he’d acquired were small, but extremely powerful.

He started at the bottom of the Spire, placing the charges on strategically-important pillars and supports that balanced the majority of the city’s weight. He kept his focus around one area in particular to cause as much damage to his preferred target as he could. It wouldn’t do to unnecessarily kill civilians- and besides, she wouldn’t have approved. But blowing up Emperor Arcann and his legion of minions and thralls (and his psychopath of a sister)? That was perfectly acceptable. He could almost hear her encouragement in the back of his mind- that’s right, kick his ass, make him regret it all.

And yet, more often than not he would glimpse little bits of her- a flash of red hair out of the corner of his vision, enchanting green eyes reflected in a mirror, the scent of her (a strange mix of a lightly floral shampoo, the light smell of whatever cleansing detergent her protocol droid used on her clothing, and something intoxicatingly unique that was her) drifting on the wind. And sometimes he swore he could actually hear her voice. Don’t do this, Theron. Please don’t do this.

This must be what going mad feels like. Theron shook his head as he set another charge on a power relay that would hopefully knock out the emergency response droids. Please stop haunting me, Xaja. I’ll get justice for your murder, and then I’ll see you again.

Theron, stop.

Soon, dearest. Theron shook his head again, more emphatically this time, to try and focus around the distraction that Xaja’s spirit (or his hallucinations of her) seemed dead set on creating for him. I need to do this, for you. I don’t care what you thought about your Jedi humility, you’re worth this.

No one life is worth destroying an entire city for.

It’s the only way to blow the bastard to the hell that he belongs in. Theron let himself into another maintenance shaft and placed another charge on a structural support. This one, according to the blueprints, supported a significant chunk of the weight that held up Arcann’s throne room in the upper atmosphere. Someone has to get justice for what he did to you. It hurt, but he forced himself to shut out Xaja’s distracting voice and continue on. The less he thought about her or what she’d do if she knew what he was planning, the better.

And if he actually focused on what he was doing, he’d be able to avoid thinking about the reactions of everyone he’d remotely cared about. Marcus would be furious, Korin would be straight-up livid, Jonas was probably going to punch through a wall, Reanden (if the old agent still lived) would probably grumble something derogatory about SIS hotheads, although Theron wanted to believe that the man once known as Cipher Nine would be secretly proud of him… Jace would probably shut himself in his office and drink himself into a worrisome state… Theron wanted to insist that Satele would just shrug off the news with Jedi stoicism, but truthfully, he suspected his mother would be devastated. There is no death, Mom, remember?

Why did he suddenly feel like Master Zho’s ghost was haunting him for the sole purpose of kicking his ass, with or without Teff’ith’s help?

There was one more charge he still needed to set before he could take down the oppressors and murderers in a brilliant blaze of revenge-driven glory. And the large chamber in the middle of the Spire, right over a Skytrooper production factory, was the ideal location. Hopefully the credentials he’d swiped earlier would give him access.

The chamber was way colder than it needed to be, in Theron’s opinion. He shook his head as he slipped through the door and stepped into the dim lighting. What is this place anyway? he silently asked himself as he squinted through the shadows.

His face paled when he saw the sheer number of carbonite slabs around the room, most hanging on the walls prominently. He could see signs of the poor souls trapped within- the odd hand extended out as though to defend themselves, a face twisted in terror. One poor guy even had a foot extended like he’d been trying to kick his way free. Huh, maybe being frozen will save you lot from the Spire imploding, he mused as he looked around. Then again… at least you won’t feel anything. You’re already asleep, you just won’t wake up.

The pillar in the centre of the chamber was an ideal spot for the last charge, and Theron approached, reaching around the prominently-displayed carbonite-frozen victim to access the wall. “Sorry, buddy,” he muttered as he bumped the slab and the frozen knee of the victim. “I’m sure you’ll understand why I’m doing this. You can’t be too fond of the powers that be yourself, considering they stuck you in here.” The charge was set, and Theron stepped back, mentally preparing himself for the final, fatal task of this mission.

The label beside the slab caught his gaze. “The Outlander assassin”? Huh. Someone else already had my idea to kill Arcann? He frowned as he read more on the label. “Murderer of our beloved Immortal Emperor Valkorion”. Right, it was a Core Worlder they say killed the old Emperor. Some sources had said that Xaja Taerich had been the one to commit the deed, but that was impossible. She and Darth Marr had both died on the destroyed flagship under Zakuulan fire.

Curiosity piqued, Theron looked up at the Outlander. It was a female humanoid- the carbon freezing had been close enough to detail the outline of her slim, feminine build. She’d had her hands raised as she was frozen as though trying to ward off the carbonite. Sorry, lady. Awful way to go. Theron had been carbon frozen once, and hadn’t been fond of the freezing process- and even then, Jonas had been trying to be careful and gentle about it. He doubted the Zakuulans would have been so merciful to an apparent assassin.

Her face, though… Theron stretched up on tip-toe to look at the woman’s face, and felt his heart stop. “No…” he whispered and stretched a hand up to gently touch her frozen cheek with his fingers- she was too high up for him to reach, and his fingers fell to meet her unmoving hand. They killed you and entombed you here?! Xaja Taerich’s face had been frozen in a terrified-looking flinch, and the expression made Theron’s heart break. “Not like this, Xaja…” he whispered, fighting to keep the tears he’d refused to shed at bay. “You deserved so much better than this.” He rested one of his hands on her leg and clenched his jaw, felt a tear escape his closed eyes despite his efforts and trickle over his stubble-covered cheek. “Not you, not ever like this!” Why did the son of a bitch need to freeze you and keep you around?

Why indeed? The spy part of Theron’s mind that never shut up kicked into gear. Even as demented as Arcann was, there would have been no need for him to carbon-freeze the corpse of the woman who’d killed his father. It would have been more logical to burn her body or otherwise dispose of it. This can’t be a Zakuulan tradition, can it? Theron opened his eyes, frowning in thought- and blinked when he saw the carbonite readout signs on the side of the slab-like tomb. He knelt to read them, and nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signs. “Alive?” he whispered, staring up at Xaja in disbelief. “He froze you alive?” A hibernation state would keep her alive…

The first hope flared in Theron’s heart in two long years, along with the sudden need to change his plan (and the horror of thinking that he’d nearly blown her up along with the rest of the Spire, Arcann and Vaylin, and himself. For kriff’s sake, the last charge was literally right behind her!). He looked over his shoulder, mentally calculating- it was well into the early hours of the morning when most sane people were asleep. The factory nearby would be all but empty, and if he moved fast enough, he could escape with her before the Skytroopers were alerted to something being amiss. He couldn’t lug a slab of carbonite across the Spire, but if push came to shove, Xaja had never been a large or heavy woman. If she didn’t panic when freed from the carbonite, he could probably carry her to safety. If she did panic… well, he still had his darts with him. Knocking her out with a stun shot and carrying her out that way wasn’t ideal, but it was better than leaving her and attempting a rescue later.

The idea that maybe he should actually sit down and form a plan briefly floated through his head as he reached for the control panel, and was immediately squashed. I can’t leave her here. She wouldn’t leave me behind. His fingers hurriedly tapped in the command to thaw out the block of carbonite, and then Theron stepped back as the grey started to turn red while it melted away. His heart leaped into his throat when he got that first glimpse of pale skin and worn brown armour, then red hair loose around her shoulders, wet with sweat and the lingering effects of the thawed carbonite.

There was the sound of a ragged gasp, loud in the chamber, and Theron lunged forward just in time to catch Xaja before she landed face-first on the floor, ignoring the skidding sensation of the durasteel against his knees through his trousers. “Shhh,” he murmured as he carefully held her up, his heart racing as he felt her hands groping up and down his arms, his shoulders, his chest. “I’ve got you, Xaja. You’re okay.” He’d never thought that he would be able to hold his Jedi in his arms again, real and warm and solid and breathing- and the mental shift from planning an explosive, destructive suicide to rescuing her still left him reeling. “You’re real. You’re alive. You’re alive and I’m never letting this happen to you again.” Was he babbling? He was pretty sure he was babbling. He didn’t really care.

Xaja looked up at the sound of his voice, squinting as she tried to adjust to the lights of the chamber. For a moment, Theron feared carbonation sickness had made her temporarily blind- then those brilliant green eyes widened, and her hands found his face, fingers scratching against the stubble on his skin and brushing away the tear that still lingered. “Theron?...” she whispered, her voice hoarse with two years of disuse- it was the most beautiful sound Theron had ever heard in his life.

“Yeah, it’s me. I’ve got you.” Theron pressed his lips against Xaja’s forehead, then left a series of near-frantic kisses all over her face, finally feeling her lips against his own as she kissed him back. It’s not a dream. This is really happening. She’s alive and I have her! Those kisses had never felt so solid or warm or real in his dreams, vivid as they were- and usually by this point she’d faded back away into the void and Theron would have woken up with tears on his face and his heart breaking again. This was real. “I’ve got you. You’re gonna be safe with me.” The sudden reminder that she wasn’t quite safe yet despite being out of the carbonite made him look back up and toward the door. No alarms raised yet, but he’d done his research on the patrols around the Spire in preparation for his original plan- the next patrol would be two Knights in about twelve minutes. “I’ve gotta get you out of here.”

“Where is…” Xaja looked up at the strange architecture of the chamber, and her already-pale face went a little lighter when she saw all the other carbon frozen victims on the walls. “... Zakuul…” she finally whispered, a frown marring her face. “That son of a…”

“We’re gonna make that bastard wish he’d never been born,” Theron promised with a growl. He got back to his feet, but didn’t let go of Xaja’s arms. “If I help you, can you stand?”

“I think so?” Xaja gripped tightly onto Theron’s forearms as she shakily stood up, helped in no small part by Theron practically pulling her upright. She let go of him only long enough to shift her grip to his shirt, leaning most of her weight on him as she rested her head against his chest. “Sorry,” she mumbled, “I’m just… dizzy.”

“It’s okay.” Theron gently rubbed her back and pressed another kiss into her hair. “I’ll carry you out of here if I have to. You’re not spending any more time here, I promise.”

“My hero.” Xaja looked up, and the smile she gave him, small though it was, lit up the shadows still lingering in Theron’s heart and melted all the icy grief he’d endured over the last two years. “Theron, I-” Her gaze drifted around him to the empty slab she’d just been freed from, and Theron saw her eyes narrow dangerously. “I am not a kriffing trophy, and neither are they,” she hissed, and now Theron saw the container overhead that contained two familiar silvery hilts, proudly displayed. Chances were that she’d sensed her crystals within the lightsabers. The Jedi reached out her hand and focused despite the dizziness; Theron saw the lightsabers tremble, then suddenly fly out of the open case as the bindings holding them in place broke. Xaja caught one weapon, but fumbled the other- Theron snatched it out of the air before it could land on the floor and took the liberty of attaching it to Xaja’s belt. “Thank you,” she said, giving him another smile as she safely attached the other blade on the opposite side. “What would I do without you?”

“Probably still be frozen,” Theron said with a lightheartedness he didn’t quite feel at the reminder of where she’d been only minutes earlier. “C’mon- next patrol passes by in seven minutes, and we’d better not be here.”

“I hear you.” Xaja started toward the door with Theron at her side, her steps shaky at first, but stronger and more confident as her muscles remembered how to walk. “What’s our escape route?”

“Uhh…” I can never tell you what I nearly did. You would never forgive me. “... I kinda wasn’t expecting to make it this far. We’re making up the escape plan as we go.” Theron palmed open the door and took a look around. No Knights yet, and the only Skytroopers were well away. If he and Xaja hurried, they could hopefully escape the complex before an alarm was raised.

“Heh, sounds like normal then.” Xaja squeezed Theron’s hand and sent his pulse skyrocketing. “I trust you, and the patented Shan Exit Strategy. Lead on.”

I can’t believe I have you back, forget you trusting me. Theron swallowed hard around the lump in his throat, and had to force himself to think strategically for their escape. A quick blink brought up an overlay of the Spire layout to his implants, and he quickly plotted out a route. “Okay... the quickest exit route’s going to be this way. Let’s go.”

[wingheadshellhead]

Hi, I love your blog! So I've been reading a lot of 616 stevetony lately, and I've noticed that in both canon and in a lot of fiction, Steve seems to really dislike Extremis (even before superior iron man). Why do you think that is? Even without looking at this with shipper goggles (which I always am), I think it's really strange that Steve has so much disdain for something that essentially saved one of his best friend's lives.

(THIS HAS TAKEN ME 5 BILLION YEARS BUT HERE IT IS FINALLY)

i used to be in the same boat and automatically assumed steve’s dislike of extremis was one of those fandom headcanon things that was so commonly accepted it’d basically become fact, but it’s really, actually, all 100% canon. but the comics that deal with it happen right before civil war so i think many ppl have simply forgotten or skipped over that part of tony’s timeline.

execute program is the 6-issue arc that comes right after extremis and it’s the main thing i tell everyone they have to read if they’re putting themselves thru the ringer that is 616′s civil war. it is so so important to understanding tony’s headspace and where he’s at before the events of civil war occur. 

READ EXECUTE PROGRAM. a) bc it’s absolutely crucial to tony’s side of civil war, b) the follow-through from the extremis arc is just… amazing, virtuosic. i really genuinely think it is a fascinating, excellently-written arc, c) when it gets gay it gets very gay. truST ME you do not need your shipper goggles for this at all bc guess which of the following things are canon: the sound of steve saying his voice being the only thing that snaps tony out of (likely a dissociative episode) trying to murder a villain that nearly kills peter, dyeing his hair blond when he’s going on the run, tony stopping his heart to save steve’s life. all of them !!! all canon !!!!!! 

extremis is, basically, terrifying. to the average human being, hell even the average superhuman. it’s p much unfathomable the sheer level/magnitude/scope of extremis. extremis allows tony to access and control any piece of technology on earth and even in earth’s atmosphere, he can hear satellites. it’s like having the singularity as a superpower. 

so part 1, iron man vol. 4 #7 (2006), opening issue and we have tony stopping a villain with lethal force, all while counting down the milliseconds and bidding on priceless artefacts.

now, avengers don’t kill. and tony doesn’t, he stops the man’s heart, then restarts it, basically performing defibrillation. 

and then we get this conversation: 

and after tony jets off leaving the new avengers to sort out the aftermath, we get this disturbing reminder:

a proper reread might prove me wrong but i don’t think the writers ever clarify whether this transformation in tony’s personality is due to extremis or outside manipulation (which is the culmination of execute program’s arc as i’ll go into in a bit). but when your brain is literally a machine and you Have Become more machine than human, this is the natural progression of tony’s humanity – the aspects of compassion, empathy, etc. – fading into the background to accomodate for extremis. 

extremis brings out everything about tony that steve (and possibly the world) fears most. it makes him cold and calculating, and with a brain like tony stark’s elevated by the superhuman capacity to think and react at the speed of a machine, he’s unstopppable.

part 2, iron man vol. 4 #8, we have tony nearly straight up burning a man alive for almost killing peter and laughing about it. 

he’s so deep in Destroy Mode that he doesn’t even register steve’s warning, and here i think he acts entirely out of instinct –– like extremis is thinking for him rather than his brain prompting him to do this. 

extremis is also the cause of tension between tony and the newly-formed new avengers (one of my favorite line-ups!!), he almost gets into a fight with logan and jessica has to break them up. it turns out tony is missing time in his memory, which is extremely worrying for someone w/ his level of power…

what’s so fascinating about extremis, and why we have so much to thank warren ellis for (the writer of the extremis arc), is that it is the perfect and the most logical climax of the modern iron man story. tony’s worst villain, as we’ve known since the very beginning really, has never been anyone else but himself. and in the case of extremis, it’s a highly technologically advanced version of himself that can do and be everything he’s ever dreamed of being able to achieve vs. him. 

the question extremis asks is at what cost? at what cost does technological advancement, bleeding-edge breakthroughs, and the spirit of human innovation come at? how far would tony go to become the Ideal version of himself that he sees as superior in every way? what would he sacrifice for that?

extremis represents basically the pinnacle of sci-fi tech in iron man comics, it’s why even god awful superior iron man used a 3.0 version of it as the foundation for tony’s sins. it’s the farthest point he’s ever reached, and it’s also the lowest in terms of the damage and fallout that comes from it. because ofc, tony stark can’t have nice things like this, but also bc the hubris + nature of extremis allowing its host to play god can’t exist without there being negative consequences. really b ad consequences. 

huge respect to danial & charles knauf, the authors of execute program, too, because they find a way to perfectly bring the arc full circle as ellis did with his extremis. the central villain plot revolves around ho yinsen’s son. the kid hacks extremis and uses it to control tony, sending him to subconsciously assassinate a bunch of people on his kill list, i.e. a list of all the men involved in yinsen’s death. i mean like, HOLY SHIT, an iron man plot where a literal ghost from tony’s past – a direct victim of events tony was involved in, the son of the man that sacrificed his life so iron man could be born and so tony stark could live – shows up, weaponises tony’s own body + technology and uses him to murder people who are scheduled to participate in a peace summit despite the blood on their hands and the human cost of their involvement in the weapons industry.

DRAWING PARALLELS BETWEEN YINSEN’S LIFE’S WORK AND TONY’S LIKE DEATH AND DYING WOULD BE KINDER. again bc of my memory or even regardless due to constant retcons + reruns of the iron man origin story, i don’t know if it’s ever been explicitly stated before that yinsen also got into the weapons industry in order to get the funding necessary to support his other revolutionary work. but his son literally conflates yinsen with tony here, blending them into one + the same with that final panel and it becomes very obvious that at least a small part of him blames father for entering into weapons design. if he hadn’t, he might never have been captured by the the terrorist group that wanted him and tony to build them missiles. 

also, yinsen + villains involving yinsen are a recurring theme in iron man history but can we talk abt the fact that tony has never ever let himself forget the man bc jesus christ

yinsen’s kid is killed by a SHIELD sniper, activating the dead man’s switch and unleashing all the peackeeping units tony built that are now compromised. now, tony’s no jean grey or wanda maximoff but if this arc shows anything it’s not to underestimate him bc intentional or not (lmao) if he put his mind to it there’s literally no limit to the damage he could do. 

we see various heroes fighting off the peacekeeping units, and the new avengers are at the peace summit fighting a hulkbuster. 

and here it is people !!! the 23989485th time tony kills himself so steve can live. 

JUST. THE LOOK ON HIS FACE. AND THEN THIS ABSOLUTE LACK OF HESITATION:

so, yes. extremis was traumatising for pretty much every single person involved. steve has extremely good reasons for HATING extremis, even in the early stages or even if a fic is taking place before the events of execute program.

if you read the full arc, you’ll see tony running himself into the ground with his new abilities (world’s greatest multitasker can now multitask 192483958 things at once? ofc he’s going to use and abuse and exploit that), you see him spiralling and losing his grip on reality (mainly because he’s actually having dissociative episodes and losing time due to being remotely controlled to assassinate ppl but also bc of the Effect extremis is having on him). i brought up wanda and jean earlier as a casual reference but like, to put it in that kind of perspective, people just weren’t made to have this much power.

on a smaller scale, apart from eating up all of tony’s time and attention and mental health in a really bad way, it just Distances him from everyone. especially from the team. it’s Isolating, having this much going on in his brain and no one else in the world to fully understand it. 

and on steve’s side, you also have the fact that tony’s genius is both one of the things he loves and lowkey resents most about him. he has this deep-set anxiety about tony with all his brilliance and intelligence leaving him behind in the dust, or worse, laughing at him and how outdated and dim-witted he is in comparison. this is steve’s version of tony’s “i’m never going to be good enough for him”, a sentiment summed up in a quote from him as early as tales of suspense vol. 2 (1995): “yes, tony stark, a man of today and tomorrow is the man i’ll never be.” he’s so afraid of being abandoned + alienated by tony’s mind and the future that tony’s worked so tirelessly to build that might render him irrelevant. he’s scared of a future where he has no purpose, but more or just as importantly, he’s scared of becoming obsolete in tony’s life, of not being needed by tony anymore. one of the things that endeared him so much to tony, and which laid the foundations of their lifelong friendship, was the fact that from Day One (1), tony made him feel At Home. he never let him feel ashamed or isolated as The Man Out Of Time, he actively worked to make steve feel comfortable and to give him the things he needed to acclimatise and to fit himself into this brave new world. 

extremis undoes all of that. it propels tony so far and so fast into the future that it makes tony untouchable to steve. all of the ‘i can hear satellites’ stuff renders steve helpless and even more out of his depth than usual. it presses all of steve’s secret buttons and then some.

to sum this all up, and to finish my extra rambling abt tony bc u asked me about extremis and i couldn’t not finish with this:

here we have, ladies and gentlemen, everything u need to understand abt tony going into civil war. and it’s not on any of the official civil war fucking reading lists which really pisses me off because whether or not they did it on purpose the knaufs basically wrote all of execute program as the perfect precursor and characterisation groundwork for an antebellum tony stark. 

a tony stark who was just very recently manipulated against his will into assassinating people and causing a world-threatening incident that could have resulted in the deaths of thousands, including his own friends and teammates (and the love of his life), is a very different tony stark to the one ppl see in civil war #1.

what happens in stamford was an accident, too. no one meant for that to happen. tony knows first fucking hand what that means and what it feels like to carry that responsibility and guilt. his position in civil war supporting the SHRA is not only to protect the potential lives that could be lost in another stamford incident but also to protect superhumans and superheroes from ever being exploited against their will by villains to kill and hurt and destroy. 

superheroes are inherently susceptible to being used, it’s just part of the narrative convention –– a superhero is brainwashed or mind controlled or otherwise forced against their will to do something awful. and even if it’s not their fault there needs to be  accountability  for the victims. both the victims that suffer directly because of superhuman incidents but also the superheroes that become victims of ppl who abuse their powers. it’s abt protecting superheroes not just from civilians but from themselves. and if u’ve read a single comic u kno that this kinda shit happens way too often and way too easily.

sO YE S T hIS iS W HY. AND IT Ex PL AINS SO MUC H AND i j UST WISH P PL WOULD GODDAMN REA D THIS. LIKE EVERYONE WHO EVER WANTS TO SAY ANOTHER A GODDAMN THING ABOUT TONY STARK IN CIVIL WAR NEEDS TO FIRST READ EXECUTE PROGRAM FIRST OR PAY ME $10

anyway…………… one last time, i’m so so so sorry this took forever to get to. hope the wait was worth it!