#yeah. we're doing great right now
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they call me the post deleterr
#camera talks#yeah. we're doing great right now#and ive never had a problem in my life#and im a-okay#ive never ever vent posted and no one has to be worried about me#gonna go listen to the american bison 1 & 2 and play video games until i fall asleep tbh#i feel. awful#but#wha tever
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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walked past a car in my apartment complex lot that had a li'l Cursed Cat Alastor poised against the windshield :')
a fellow hazbin fan and a friend i haven't met yet :')
i gasped - pretty sure i startled my fiance until he looked over and saw why LOL
#like what's a not-intimidating way to show up at this person's doorstep#like hi i need to speak with you#you have great taste in media and so do i#lovely so we're besties now yeah?#neat#(that's how it works right?)#personal#text#CCA#cursed cat alastor#hazbin hotel
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KILL!!!!!!!!!
#my post#this is so mean. why did i make this#but also....... the gun is in your hands now#i'll admit that it's my fault for putting the gun in your hand... however i've no say in what you choose to do with it#will you pull the trigger and accept whatever happens from now on? will you give yourself into the role forced upon you?#no one will know anything if you don't say anything. there will be no consequences or repercussions to this choice#but you will know. and you will need to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life#a gun not fired is like an itch not stratched#in the end i have no control over what you do... but free will is a funny thing#the brain is very susceptible to suggestion... everything we see and experience will remain with us in some way#if that's the case then how much control do we really have in our lives? how do we separate what we really want vs what we're told to want?#things like hunger... desire... they're all things the body asks for. but are they things that we truly want?#or are they merely a mechanism built into us for the sake of survival?#everything blends into everything. your past actions will inform your current actions. you're the only one who's ever lived your life#you're the only one who will ever live your life#little variables and experiences we all share... but the order varies greatly from person to person. everything is just a series of events#the way i see the world is different than the way you see it regardless of how similar they are#what choice will you make now? and how does it differ from the choice you would've made a week ago? a month? a year? does it differ at all?#does free will truly exist? i think it does... but not in the way most people think it exists#you and i... we might differ on that thought. or we might not.#regardless of whatever i've been rambling about right now... refusing to make a choice is still a choice you make. life is ironic like that#does one of them really have to go? that's for you to decide now#i've merely chosen to put the gun in your hand. to make you aware of the possibilities#so i hope you realize what power your choices have#dca fandom#daycare attendant#yeah sometimes i just say things that i think are deep but they're really not#i hope the choices i make have an effect on others. even if it's just one person...#if i can make even just one person think about something they wouldn't have normally thought about then isn't that a win?#life is a series of choices... ''it'd be great if you could see a figure of light by the time you die'' ♡
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BABE WAKE UP NEW LOW JUST DROPPED.
source
#India is in shambles rn#The most depressing realities of current times:#a student doctor was gang-raped and killed inside a hospital and the govt and police and the hospital authorities worked together#to destroy evidence and cover up the crime as a suicide and called the doctor *psychotic*. They asked *what was she doing so late?*#rape occurs every 16 mins in our country#every girl and woman I know including myself are TERRIFIED#every damn day there are brutal cases of rapes of children. Literal 3 year olds. To students teenagers.#in school in home in public transport in a hospital#And what is our govt. doing? Making this into a politicized mess blaming each other instead of ANYONE fixing ANY problem#our streets are strewn with public protests EVERYDAY#women don't have the right to safety in our country#WE ARE TERRIFIED TO EXIST#BCZ NO MATTER WHAT- OUR BODIES AND VOICES AND POSITIONS ARE PROVOKING TO MEN.#AND NOW THIS#I don't even NEED to talk about the education system of our country anymore bcz you can clearly see the news heading.#Our future is doomed. Our safety is doomed. Our lives are doomed.#But sure yeah India has great street food and amazing movies 👍🏽#We're utterly exhausted#India#Desi tag#moumita debnath#tw murder#tw r4p3#tw r4p3 mention#tw sui mention#tw sui#tw child death#tw child abuse#tw csa#desiblr
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be patient for a while
#our whole grade we're#going through it#everyone just cried in the auditorium me included#I hate hugs but right now I cant bring myself to#he passed away last night#no ones doing great rn not even the teachers#class of '28 had plans to graduate together as the family we were but now no one's really#yeah#vent
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whaddafuq who let the links connect to actual google chrome who is the idiot that updated tumblr for that <- procrastinator.
#💜.talks#I AM NOT DEAD. I MADE THIS SO YALL KNOW I AM NOT DEAD#I STILL HAVE PLANS ABT DOING STUFF BUT IM JUST. REALLY GOING THROUGH IT RN#no not mentally its about my show omfg im gonna make a whole post abt that drama#mentally besides that shitshow we're doing great !!!#yeah i promise im not abandoning yall i just need some time bc. yeah.#my homies know. they know. its hell right now.#BUT BY APRIL 21 OR 22 IM GONNA BE FREEEEEEE i should start working on the smau#if i am good enough i can crank out chapters like i used to#BUT YEAH THIS IS YOUR FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT I AM NOT DEAD#i am just chilling (almost started sobbing today bc of this stupid production)#best part is i CAN tell yall
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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babe you gotta do something abt the big wet kitten eyes. youre aiming for menacing with the words i get that but it just doesnt quite have the effect youre going for with the big wet kitten eyes
#call the whole thing off and go get drunk in her tardis together cmon we can salvage this#heres my proposal: send those daleks back to where they came from. cybermen too yeah you desecrated the corpses of authority we get it#it had emotional resonance but now we're done with them#then you get yaz here. dont need to do much for that just do the dancing a little bit longer and she'll be there right on time#you put the doctor in the tardis. no need to get her out of that dalek#it's sorta tradition at this point anyway just keep her in there for funsies she'll hate it it'll be great#send yaz to her room under threat of murdering. i mean you dont Have to do that but i think youre gonna so. just getting ahead of it#find the doctor's ginger stash while she yells at you and gets herself Out of the dalek#get super fucking wasted#beat each other up so bad yaz can barely tell whos who in the morning#cry. ask about tecteun. have sex abt it. any order#whoever wakes up first is responsible for breakfast#this is totally still fixable trust me you can fix this#(<- in denial)
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I'm SO TIRED of being insecure about my art!
I'm so tired of my limitations and how every time I draw I can feel them holding me back
It's so frustrating how that will actually stop me from even trying sometimes, bc I KNOW that's dumb and I'll never get better if don't make things, but it's just so discouraging!
I'm so tired of how my creative productivity can never keep up with my ideas and inspiration
I'm tired of this ever-growing list of things I want to but probably never will draw bc it just takes so long and even if I could stay motivated I won't have time
I'm tired of trying to build up confidence and convince myself to be at peace with the process and stop comparing myself to others
I'm tired of almost instantly seeing everything wrong with a piece, sometimes before I even finish it
I just want my skill to be at the level where it can successfully bring my visions to life but I don't know how to GET it there
#and it's like wow with all this pressure you're putting on yourself no wonder its hard to draw#yeah great but what am i supposed to DO about it bc the result is that i'm still not drawing and won't get any better!#ughh#it comes and goes in waves#and we're in a bad wave rn i guess#like i have genuinely made a lot of progress with the perfectionist mindset within the past year#but the self-encouragement is just hard to maintain right now#I know there's no race or time limits in life and all that#but I thought I'd be so much further than I am by now#I have so many aspirations and I'm tired of being held back by myself#art#artists on tumblr#artist problems#vent#ahhh#help?#i'm tired of relying so heavily on reference pics and agonizing over getting it right just for it to end up so stiff anyway#i wish I had more flow and instinct#i've had anatomy studies on my to-do list for no joke like 3 years!
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same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
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bonus thing i cherish in this shot is that it's the one time it's immediately noticeable that her hair length is uneven....let's go Cutting One's Own Hair (With Or Without A Mirror) look havers irl (b/c of cutting one's own hair with or without a mirror, maybe) & even when it's recreated on purpose like so
#haven't yet rewatched fury road as i've been anticipating doing for weeks now. we're on the verge of it though i can sense it#thank god ms charlize (juking diacritics) decided on Furiosa Will Have Short Hair#the No Diegetic Makeup. the constant (smudged with dirt or grease or blood perhaps) looks#only additional thing that we're demanding from anything. armpit hair please. for furiosa at least#meanwhile siiigh i guess like three days (? i will go through the number of Nights in my head. one. two.) closer to two days#isn't long enough to grow that much leg hair siiigh fine. more difficult to match up leg hair shots chronology too but if only....#reminds me how a while ago i was like half watching smthing & after a fair number of scenes was like oh hang on that's charlize furiosa....#b/c i basically know her From This. i'd seen smthing else she was in years before w/o remembering much details of Anything#(also had technically seen tom hardy in smthing more recently at the time Also w/o recognizing as much. also thanks at least in part to#not especially enjoying the movie) & i'm not great with faces; that most roles are gonna have Longer Hair / Makeup happening#and a lack of constant dirt grease blood etc even like okay this would be quite difficult#so i Didn't recognize the actor for a hot minute until the reason i Did was just this instance of [subtle quiet shift Acting Moment]#where she got this particular Silent Restrained Intensity going and i was like oh hang on. Could Be Her lmao. it was#anyways even capturing this screencap it was like Aughhh that she Walks. Stops. Walks. the Soundtrack doing what it's doing here....#and if there's Anything in this film to illustrate [max: main character] [furiosa: protagonist] boy is it this scene. wah#the end of this shot as capable like starts looking away like ah yeah emotion moment. well i'll give you this privacy#just like the fast & furious crossroads chat about cam fr lol like i'll respectfully turn so i'm not looking right at you for this Real Shi#responding to your reeling deepest devastation by moving forward still as far as you can? a quarter mile at a time of you#fury road
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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...
#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open#i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed#AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA#i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE#I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table#yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante#to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1#despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat#(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of#it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc#[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic#since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them#its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT#later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag#and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D#it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in#any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other#also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move#because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc#well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c#(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O#cruddy rambles
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the suyeol lore is so crazy
#their relationship is so interesting to me like aoughhhh#like you see subaek and even tho they don't talk a lot on camera (most of the time) those two get along so well#they understand and respect each other so much they take their job very seriously and they're actually good friends as a result#suyeol on the other hand is 12 years of slowburn like it's crazyyyyy#you admire him and believe in him like no one else does and then you discover that he isn't that great actually#so you get disappointed and distance yourself and then you both are in this weird limbo for years as you grow up#and slowly but surely you rediscover how your relationship works because both of you are adults now and now we're here#like yeah suhito was stressed back then the context was not great for a leader AND tao was still with exo so lmao pcy could fend for himself#so i get ittttt they were going through it but. i need to know what he said to pcy like oh my god was it really that bad 😭#i wonder if they've ever mentioned it 🤔#writing this bc i just remembered that one time they had to describe e/o and suho was like#“you're my cute dongsaeng i admire your talents so much and oh btw you're not uncomfortable around me these days right? uwu”#LIKE ??? KING YOU CAN'T SAY THAT AND LEAVE US IN THE DARK#(<- they totally can it's not our business lmao)#idolization to tentative ''''enemies'''' to coworkers to friends to good friends is crazy#i need to look into this properly omg let's do some research#anyways i want a subunit :) they can be called exo sc too sehun won't mind bc these are like his favorite people in the world!!!#idk i find the exos and their bond so interesting because you truly have it all with them there's a whole spectrum of friendships#and i appreciate that it's not like with b*s & taegi (if you don't know who they are... let's keep it that way <3)#because those two were just too different to get along. it was extreme. but bighit forced it so much it was painful to see sometimes#and then the hawaii trip came and they painted it like a ''see? after this trip they get along so well now <3'' moment#1. girl let's be serious for a sec 😐 and 2. it's not our business!!!!! focus on making good music!!!!!#i'm so glad exo didn't have to go through something like that bc i just know that they'd have disbanded by now sjfsifjsk#the saranghaja sprite isn't that intense we lovr freedom of choice (keeping in mind that they were under sm) <33333#so YEAH. can you guys tell i can't sleep hehe :)#dara.t#suho and chanyeol
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Saturday Six (Stuff)
We had a pretty decent Thanksgiving on Thursday, with only minimal racism from my uncle and my dad. Things are slightly improving.Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)
Leeloo the kitten is getting spayed next month and let me tell you, it can't come soon enough, because that gal is getting a little too horny, and it's a good thing my older boys are neutered already, lol. (=^-ω-^=)
I'm not ready for x-mas. They were playing x-mas music at the grocery store yesterday and I was like, nope.(*｀へ´*)
I'm still peeved about events from last week, but I'm trying to get over them. Idk that it will do anything good to mention my feelings.（’-’*)
I really need work to pick up just a little bit.(´～`)
The not having any money sure helps with the not wanting to go anywhere and do anything. Not that there's much to do here anyway. Also, wheeee, depression. (◍•﹏•)
#Saturday Six#November 25 2023#About me#Personal#Please do not rebloggle#Carey rambles about life and stuff and things and ya know it's just going...#Sometimes it's just hard to want to get out of bed but the cats kind of force me by walking on my head and screaming about food#So yeah we're doing the things as best we can#I hope all are having a great day or night wherever you are#Have a hug from mom or just a friend whatever you need right now ٩(๑•◡-๑)۶ⒽⓤⒼ❤💜💙💚💛❤️💕💖#I appreciate y'all reading my nonsensical rambles whenever I post them#Now back your regularly scheduled programming
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my dad hit me with the fun fact of i do kinda have a younger sister, and after the breakdown of "oh dear god i am the oldest of 3" i realised we are the perfect team to make the tmnt and i couldnt get it out of my head
#iTS MY AUNTIE - shes younger than me and we use to fight aggressively but then be like 'wheres ReeRee/TT???' at every family event#constantly asking to hang out with each other and every adult was like 'why? you just fight? you dont like each other? why would you want#to hang out with someone you just constantly fight with?' and we'd be like 'nono we wont fight this time!' spoiler: we did#and then i did smth for my birthday with her - after i was raving about how great it was and my dad was like 'yeah. She's more like your#sister than your aunt. or the closest thing you will get to a sister- or a cousin your age.'#buT THEN I HAD THIS WHOLE MOMENT OF. OH GOD UR RIGHT Cause how i feel about my brothers i also feel#about her - like no hesitation i'd do anything for my brothers and if she asked for anything i'd also give it to her aND WAOG. GUESS IM AN#OLDER BROTHER TO 3 NOW - and after i got over the whole 'i gotta protect these lil guys forever' i realised#AYO WE'RE JUST LIKE THE NINJA TURTLES FR FR#my art#lil sketch cause i couldnt sleep till i drew us with the headbands on
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