#yeah. its a little difficult to focus on math.

[southislandwren]

still thinking about how in food engineering class this morning i was fine and then there was a can of wet dog food on the slideshow and i immediately started crying. crazy how that works

[q-gorgeous]

Not the Lab

fanfiction

ao3

word count: 7184

No one knows au except dash baxter @xscarletsakurax

warning: dissection, scalpels, its not a very graphic description tho

hehehehhehehe

Danny opened the door and was met with a broad chest. His eyes raised and he met Dash’s gaze. He was leaning against the door frame and was staring down at Danny.

“What do you want, Dash?”

“I’m here for my tutoring session with your sister. Let me in.”

Danny blocked Dash’s step forward. “She’s not even home.”

“Oh.” Dash looked away. “I guess I got the day wrong. Again.”

“Yeah.” Danny stared at him. 

Dash looked back up at Danny. “Do you care if I still come in and just work on my homework? Jazz is great at answering my questions when I don’t understand something but she’s also mostly there to redirect me when I lose focus. This place has good learning energy.” Dash gestured with his hands in a big circle.

Danny watched him for a few moments before sighing. “Fine. But if you start messing with anything in here you have to leave.”

Dash nodded. “I’ll just be in the kitchen like when I’m with Jazz.” He walked in and turned back to look at Danny before he walked into the kitchen. “Did you want to work on your homework with me too?”

Danny shrugged and followed behind him. “Might as well. I gotta keep an eye on you if you’re here. Let me just go get my backpack.”

He headed up the stairs and left Dash to walk into the kitchen by himself. He set himself up at his regular spot at the table and started pulling all of his materials out. When he was done he looked up and saw the door to the Fenton’s lab that stared at him every time he was here. 

Just as he was thinking about standing up, Danny walked back into the room with his backpack. 

“What are you starting with?” Danny asked as he rummaged inside his open backpack.

“Math.” Dash replied. “It’s my worst subject so I’d rather get that done first where the learning vibes are good.”

“I guess I’ll start with that too. Then we can ask each other questions if we need to.”

Dash nodded. “That makes sense.”

They sat there for an hour doing their homework and occasionally asking each other about one of the questions in their textbook. They finally finished the assignment and Dash slouched down and leaned his head over the back of the chair. 

“I hate math.”

“Me too.”

They sat in silence for a few more moments before Dash spoke again.

“Want to take a break?” 

He brought his head back up to see Danny staring at him. Danny’s cheeks flushed a little and he snorted. “What would we even do?”

Dash looked over Fenton’s shoulder at the lab again. 

“We could go take a look in your parent’s lab.”

“No!” Danny shouted. 

“Why not?” Dash leaned forward in his seat. “Are they secretly mad scientists experimenting on people down there?”

Danny leveled a stare at him. “No. Other people just aren’t allowed in there. It’s family only.”

Dash leaned back in his seat again and tapped his fingers against his arm. There was no way he’d be able to weasel his way in with that argument.

“What if I invited you to my next party? Would that be enough to let me go downstairs?”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Go to one party? Or not get grounded by my parents? That’s not a difficult decision.”

Dash squinted at Danny and stood up. He started making his way around the table and Danny stood up blocking Dash’s path. 

“You haven’t been able to take me in years.”

“I’ve been taking your shit everyday.”

Dash groaned.

“C’mon, Fentina! Just let me take a peek down in that so-called lab! I just want one little look.”

Danny placed himself between the basement door and Dash. “No. My parents would kill me if I let you down there.”

“What’s the fuss, anyways? You’ve said yourself that none of your parents' inventions even work because ghosts aren’t real. What’s the harm in just one little peek?” Dash bent down to look Danny in the eye. 

“Just because ghosts aren’t real doesn’t mean my parents don’t work with hazardous chemicals. I don’t want you touching something that could burn your skin off or, I don’t know, seal all the orifices in your body closed.” Danny crossed his arms. 

Dash snorted. “Yeah, like they have something like that.”

He tried to go around Danny but he moved so he was still in front of Dash and poked a finger into his chest.

“We’re not going down there.”

Dash grabbed the wrist on the hand that was pointing at him. 

“Don’t you want us to think you’re cool? I wanna see your parents' cool lab. We could even see if we could fix that new invention of theirs. It would make them super happy.”

Danny stared at him for a few moments, studying his face. “If they couldn’t get it to work properly, I don’t see how we’d be able to do it.”

“So does that mean you want to try?” Dash asked with a smile on his face. 

“If it means my parents will be happy afterwards, we can try.”

Finally, Danny turned around and opened the door. 

Dash could tell it was a heavy door. It was made of metal and creaked when it was pushed open. A cold waft of air gusted past them and Dash stared down the stairs over Danny’s shoulder. He flicked a lightswitch and the lights over the stairs flickered on. 

Danny started walking down the stairs and Dash was still for a moment before following behind him. 

“So what’s this new invention of theirs? Some kind of portal?” Dash asked as he studied the metal paneling on the wall.

“Yeah.” Danny responded over his shoulder. “It was supposed to be some kind of ghost portal but when they plugged it in it never turned on. They were really disappointed about it.”

“Do they really believe ghosts are real?” 

Danny shrugged. “They’ve got all these studies and measurements. I have no idea how they’ve gotten all this information but they believe ghosts are the cause of all of it.” 

They stepped down off the bottom step onto the clean, tiled floor. Dash looked around the basement, taking in all the science equipment they had laying around down there. It was very messy, which heavily contrasted what the rest of the house looked like. He figured the Fenton’s would be more neat than this, especially concerning the hazardous materials Danny was talking about before. He can see why Danny was worried about that. There were green splatters everywhere. On every counter and on the table in the center of the room and he even saw it on the door as Danny pushed it closed. 

“Why’s it so messy down here?” Dash asked as he walked further into the lab.

Danny walked over and stood next to him. “One of my chores is to clean the lab and I haven’t had time for it lately.”

Dash shot Danny a look. “Your parents make you clean up their lab?”

Danny shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah.”

“Why are they making you clean up hazardous material? That was an excuse you gave me for why I shouldn’t come down here.”

Danny waved him off. “It doesn’t matter. Besides, I know what I’m doing.”

“If you say so.” Dash went to go look at the mess of items on one of the counters. The green splatters were so vivid. They almost looked like they were glowing. Dash turned and caught a glimpse of what he assumed was the Fenton’s new invention.

“Hey.” Dash nodded his head at the hole in the wall. “What’s that?”

“That’s my parent’s attempt at building a working ghost portal. They don’t know what’s wrong with it.” Danny walked right up to the portal and peered inside. “They said they had an earlier version of this that worked a little better so they thought they had this one right. They’re not sure why it didn’t work.”

“Maybe we can figure it out.” Dash said. “Maybe they overlooked some small detail.” 

“Maybe.” Danny turned back around and walked to the opposite side of the room. He opened a cabinet and pulled out a jumpsuit that looked similar to what his parents always wore. 

“You have matching outfits with your parents?” Dash snickered.

Danny unzipped the zipper. “They’re supposed to help prevent ecto-contamination.”

“Ecto-contamination?”

“Yeah. It comes from ectoplasm.” Danny stuck his legs into the suit. “That’s what ghosts are made out of and produce. That’s what my parents use for their studies.”

“How do they get their ectoplasm?” Dash asked, studying the green splatters again.

Danny shrugged. “I’m not sure. I think they’ve said there’s just more than average residual ectoplasm in Amity Park or something.”

“Oh. Weird.”

“Yeah.”

Danny turned around and Dash held in a snort.

“Ha! What is that?” Dash laughed and pointed at Danny’s chest.

Danny looked down and groaned. He pulled his dad’s face off of his jumpsuit and threw it in the garbage. “Embarrassing.”

Danny walked up to the portal and stood just outside it, staring.

“What do you think is wrong with it?” Dash asked.

“I have no idea.” Danny replied. “I’m hoping it’ll be something fairly obvious though. If it’s too complicated I won’t be able to do much.”

He started walking inside and he looked all around the portal. Dash wasn’t sure what he was looking for, and he was sure Danny didn’t know either. The further in he walked, the darker he got. 

But then everything went wrong.

Dash watched as Danny tripped over something in the portal, and then he heard a soft click. Suddenly the inside of the portal was lighting up and Dash felt his heart fall to his stomach. 

This wasn’t good.

The humming got louder and louder and Dash started running forward.

“Danny!”

A moment later a green light so bright it looked white filled the room and Dash staggered back, shielding his eyes. Danny’s screams filled the room. They were so harrowing and pain filled and it had Dash covering his ears closed instead of covering his eyes. 

He didn’t know how long it lasted for, if it was moments or minutes, but when Dash finally heard something hit the ground, he risked peeking his eyes open. 

When he saw that the bright light was dying down, he opened his eyes the rest of the way and saw Danny laying on the floor in front of him. He looked strange though. 

His hair was now snow white and his jumpsuit had been inverted and was now mostly black. Danny looked like he had burns from the portal but somehow they seemed to be healing themselves back up, even the suit. Danny even looked like he was glowing.

Once the green light disappeared into a swirling vortex, Dash ran forward and dragged Danny away from it. Once he deemed them far enough away, he knelt on the ground and pulled Danny into his lap, his back resting against Dash’s legs.

“Danny.” He shook him. His white hair ruffled back and forth from the movement. “Danny. Wake up. Please.” 

After the last shake, Danny’s eyebrows furrowed and he groaned. He raised a hand to his forehead and pried his eyes open. He looked around for a few moments before his gaze drifted up to Dash.

“Oh, thank god.” Dash whispered. “I thought you were- I don’t even know if you really are- You look so-” Dash cut himself off as he choked up. 

“What do you mean? What happened?”

“You went into the portal in that hazmat suit. You tripped over something and fell into the wall and there must’ve been a button on it or something because everything started glowing this scary green color and then you were screaming. You were screaming so loud.”

Danny rubbed a spot on his hand, a vacant stare in his eyes. 

“Danny, are you okay? You look so different. What if you’re-”

Suddenly a bright ring appeared around Danny’s waist. They both jumped and watched as it split and traveled over his body. Dash thought he would’ve felt something, but it was like the ring wasn’t even touching him even with Danny’s proximity to him. 

When the ring passed over his head and disappeared Danny was left just how he had walked into the portal. 

“You’re-” Dashed started. “You’re back to normal.”

“What happened to me?” Danny whispered, still rubbing the spot on his hand. 

Dash’s heart rate picked up. His chest started rising and falling faster and the room spun a little.

“We have to go get your parents! We don’t even know what this thing did to you. They would-”

Danny sat up and turned. He covered Dash’s mouth with his hand. “We are not telling my parents. We’re not even supposed to be down here.”

He looked at Dash with wide, shaken looking eyes. “My parents would have killed me if they knew I brought you down here. But I don’t know what they’d do to me if they found out what their portal turned me into.”

Dash’s eyes widened and Danny slowly removed his hand from his mouth. 

“I killed you.” He whispered. 

Danny shook his. “Don’t say that.” He whispered back. “I’m not dead. I’m right here.”

Dash ran a hand through his hair. “You died! You stepped out of the portal all glowy and different colors! Then you magical girl transformed!”

“I died but I don’t think I’m dead.” Danny said. “I can still feel my heart beating.”

Dash stopped and looked back up at him. “Really?”

Danny nodded.

“Can I…?” Dash reached a hand out.

Danny nodded again. “It’ll probably help convince you I’m not actually still dead.”

Dash pressed his fingers against Danny’s neck and waited. Then he could feel the soft beats of his heart. He held his hand there for a few more moments before he lowered it.

“What even happened to you?” He whispered.

“I don’t know.”

“What do we do?” Dash asked.

Danny shook his head. “We can’t tell anyone. People would think I’m some sort of freak. And I don’t know what my parents would do.” He looked up at Dash. “This has to stay between us.”

Dash nodded. Who would they tell anyways? No one besides the Fenton’s could really help them. There was no one to turn to. 

Danny groaned. “Help me up.” 

Dash stood and grabbed Danny by the hands and pulled him up. Dash was about to let go when suddenly Danny started sinking through the floor. 

“What the fuck?” Danny shouted panickingly as his feet disappeared into the tiles below them.

Dash kept a tight grip on Danny’s hands. He didn’t want to know what would happen if he let go and Danny disappeared. He pulled Danny up and out of the ground and when Dash set him back down, Danny’s feet were once again solid. 

“Never seen that before.” Dash whispered.

Danny just stared at him. “Thanks Sherlock, me either.”

“How do we stop that from happening?” Dash asked. 

“I don’t know. Maybe-”

A beeping rang throughout the lab and Dash looked around in a panic. Was something about to blow up? Danny wasn’t nearly concerned enough for that. He did look a bit panicked though.

The beeping died down and Dash looked around him again. “What was that?”

“The ‘someone’s in the driveway alert.’ My parents are home.”

Anxiety spiked in Dash’s stomach and he turned to face the stairs. “Why do they-”

“It doesn’t matter. They can’t find us down here.”

Dash grabbed Danny’s hand and pulled him up the stairs. 

They were at the top of the steps when they heard the rattling of the front door knob through the door to the lab. Dash ran up the rest of the way as he pulled Danny behind him. Together they pushed the heavy door closed. They rushed back to their seats and sat down just in time for Danny’s parents to walk in. 

“Hi, Danny!” Maddie called. “How are you- Oh.”

Maddie paused as she walked into the kitchen, gaze landing on Dash. She looked between the two of them and smiled.

“Dash! It’s nice to see you again. I’m glad to see you two hanging out again after all this time.”

Danny’s gaze landed on Dash. “We’re not friends, Mom. He thought his tutoring session with Jazz was today and asked if he could stay and do homework here. He said the house has ‘good learning vibes.’”

“Oh.” Maddie’s smile fell a little and Dash wasn’t sure how to feel about that. “Well, I hope you two still had a good time.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “It’s just homework.”

“Nevertheless, if you two ever need to-”

“Danny-boy!” Jack bellowed as he walked into the kitchen, carrying three cartons of fudge. “They stocked up on your favorite peanut butter fudge!” He thrust them into Danny’s hands.

“Are all three of these one flavor?” Danny asked, flabbergasted. 

“You betcha.” He turned towards the basement door. “Your mother and I are going to start running diagnostics on the portal and try to figure out why it didn’t turn on.”

He opened the door and started walking down the stairs. 

“Wish us luck!” Maddie called to them before she followed behind him and closed the door. 

Dash stared at it for a moment. “How do you think they’d feel if they knew they just hadn’t actually turned it on.” 

“I’m sure it’s just a new addition on a long list of oversights.” Danny said. He stood up from the table and staggered, holding his head.

“Are you okay?” Dash asked. 

“I’ve got a killer headache. And my head feels like it’s spinning.”

“Will you be-”

Danny shook his head. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. You should go before my parents pull us back down into the lab to show us that the ghost portal miraculously started working.”

Danny’s screams rang in his head again. He wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to step foot down in that lab again.

“Yeah. I should be heading home anyways.”

Dash packed up his backpack and slung it onto his shoulder. Danny walked him to the door and opened it.

“See you tomorrow?” Dash asked.

“Yeah, sure. See you tomorrow.” Danny replied and closed it behind him once he walked out. 

Dash stared at the door for a moment before he turned around and walked down the stairs to the sidewalk. 

He took a deep breath and gripped his shaking hands onto his backpack straps. 

Danny died today. Danny died and they didn’t have any answers. Danny died and it was Dash’s fault for insisting they go into the basement. How could he ever face him again? 

The walk from Danny’s house to Dash’s felt way too short. Almost as if he blinked and suddenly he was home. 

Maybe if he went to sleep he’d wake up and find out this was all a bad dream. Maybe he could pretend that none of this actually happened. 

He quietly unlocked and opened his front door, closing it behind him. He quietly made his way up the stairs to his room and dropped his backpack on the floor before collapsing into bed. 

He hoped none of this would be real when he woke up. 

~~~~~~~~

Dash wanted to go back to bed.

Dash wasn’t sure he had even wanted to go to school today. His stomach was still roiling and he didn’t want to find out if Danny had actually died yesterday. Maybe he had just imagined the whole thing. Maybe Danny had actually died and was still lying fried on his basement floor right now. Maybe he survived the initial accident but died later that night. 

He stood on the sidewalk staring at the school as it towered in front of him. He was already here. He had to go in. 

He took a deep breath and was about to start walking when he saw a mop of black hair walking ahead of him. 

Danny yawned a big yawn and he looked tired but he was alive. 

“Danny!” Dash shouted, waving a hand in the air. Danny turned around to look at him. He looked around them as Dash walked up to him. 

“What do you want, Dash?”

Dash stopped short. “I came to see how you were doing. Glad to see you surviving was real.”

“Oh.” Danny shuffled awkwardly on his feet. “Yeah. Still alive. I think I ended up sinking through my bed into the living room last night, though. I woke up at like four in the morning on the living room floor.”

“Oh dang.”

“Yeah.” Danny said as he started walking toward the school. Dash followed after him. “The worst part though was when I tried lifting my arm up in front of my face and I couldn’t see it because somehow my body had turned itself invisible.” 

“I’m still wondering just what exactly that portal did to you.” Dash said, lowering his head and his voice closer to Danny. “Like, do you just have ghost powers now or something?”

Danny frowned. “I’m sure it’s more than that. But basically.” 

“Man, that’d be so cool.” Dash said. “If I had ghost powers, I’d-”

Dash was interrupted by someone clearing their throat behind them. They turned around and were met with Sam and Tucker looking at them.

“What’s going on here?” Sam asked, pointing between the two of them.

“What?” Danny asked, his voice rising in pitch. “There’s nothing going on here. We’re just two guys chatting.” 

Sam and Tucker shared a look and smirked at Danny.

“No! Not like that!” A blush rose on Danny’s cheeks and Dash looked between Danny and his friends a couple times before he processed what Danny meant. A blush rose to his own cheeks. 

“Well, what’s happening then?” Tucker asked. “Did you guys finally make up?”

Sam looked at him. “Make up?”

Tucker nodded. “Yeah. They used to be friends when we were kids. They had some fight when we were younger. I never really knew what it was about.” 

Dash looked at Danny to see him already staring at him. Danny studied him for a few moments before speaking. “Yeah, I guess you can say we finally made up.” 

“Cool.” Tucker said casually. 

“Cool? That’s it? No questions?” Sam asked him. “You’re not curious at all how they figured this thing out after years of conflict?” 

Tucker shrugged. “If they want to tell us they will.” 

Sam crossed her arms and huffed. “I guess you’re right.” 

They started walking towards the school and Dash and Danny followed behind them.

“Did you want to tell them?” Dash whispered.

Danny looked at him and then looked back at Sam and Tucker. “I… I don’t know. I don’t want them to think I’m weird or a freak.” 

“Okay. We can keep it between us for now.” Dash nodded. 

Danny gave one curt nod and then quickened his pace to catch up with Sam and Tucker. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Phantom is so cool.” Sam said as she finished swallowing a bite of her food. 

Danny spit out his drink and looked up at her. Dash sent him a look. “He is?” 

“Yeah. I mean, some vigilante ghost kid fighting to protect us even though no one trusts him? I’d say that’s pretty cool.”

“Do you trust him?” Danny asked, looking between Sam and Tucker.

Tucker shrugged. “He hasn’t really given us a reason not to trust him.” He placed a hand on his chin and started thinking about it. “Except for maybe that time he ruined Valerie’s life. Or when he kidnapped the mayor. He also stole all that stuff one time. Or-” 

Sam elbowed Tucker. “People have off days! I don’t think he did any of that stuff on purpose. Remember he broke out of that spell that Freakshow put him under? He saved me because he was able to break out of it.” 

“Also it was the dog that ruined Valerie’s life.” Dash corrected. “Not Phantom himself.” 

“Yeah!” Sam gestured at Dash. “All the ghosts seem to have it out for Phantom for some reason. How do we know it’s not just all orchestrated?”

“Is the property damage orchestrated?” Tucker asked her. 

“Haha.” Sam took another bite of her food. “But I’m serious. He just… He’s just a kid. Doing this all by himself. It’s messed up.” 

Tucker nodded. “He seems so familiar too. It makes me wonder if we knew him before he died.” 

Dash watched as Danny looked between the two of them, stunned. He opened his mouth.

“Guys, I have something to tell-” 

Danny was interrupted by something crashing outside. It sent the windows shattering and screams erupted around the cafeteria as everyone ducked down to cover their heads and faces. 

“What happened?” Sam looked out the windows, her breathing quick. A screech echoed around the schoolyard. 

Danny gasped out his ghost sense and Dash followed his gaze to where it stood. 

“There’s a ghost.” Dash pointed to it. 

It was digging around in the dirt like it was looking for something. Dash couldn’t tell what animal it was supposed to be. It was boney and skeletal, its hips jutting out from its body. 

Danny stood up and ran across the cafeteria, pushing open the door along the wall with the windows.

“Danny!” Sam and Tucker shouted as they stood up together. 

They went to run after Danny but Dash grabbed Sam’s wrist before she could go anywhere.

“What are you doing?” She asked him hysterically. “We have to go get him! He can’t just be running around outside like that while there’s a ghost attacking!”

“Yeah, dude. Are you mental?” Tucker asked Dash.

“Danny-”

“Needs our help!” Sam tore her wrist out of Dash’s hand and they ran across the room to the door. Dash shifted in his place, jittery. He finally followed after them. 

When he got outside they were already across the grass, but instead of looking for Danny they were looking up in the air at the fight. 

“Foley! Manson! Get over here!” Dash shouted at them from the building. “You’re not even looking for Danny! You need to-” 

The screech of tires signaled the Fenton’s arrival. They jumped out of their van and brandished their weapons. 

“You take that side, Jack! I’ll stay here!” 

“Aye, aye!” Jack ran away from her to the other side of the schoolyard. 

“Sam, Tucker! Get-”

The ghost looked up at Dash’s voice but its gaze landed on Sam and Tucker first. It hissed at them, the sound grating. It started charging at them and they both took a step back but it was moving too fast.

“No!” Danny shouted, flying towards them. 

He got to them just in time to grab them both and knock them out of the way. They tumbled across the ground and Dash could hear Sam and Tucker screaming from where he stood. Danny pulled himself back up and stood between them and the ghost. His fists clenched.

“You’re not getting through me, ghost!” 

Danny jumped back into the fight and it took only a couple more hits fueled by his rage before the fight was over and he caught it in his thermos. 

He turned to look at Sam and Tucker and he flew forward a couple steps before he was being shot square in the back. He hissed and looked behind him to see his mom still aiming her weapon at him.

“Wait!” Sam ran forward and put herself between Danny and Mrs. Fenton. 

“Sam!” Maddie shouted at her. “Get out of the way! We need to capture him!” 

“No, he just-”

“Jack, do you have a shot?” Maddie called, looking in his direction.

“No! The kids are in the way!” 

Maddie snarled. Dash watched Danny recoil. “If you don’t move-”

Danny started flying away. Maddie aimed her gun at him again but he turned invisible before she could take another shot. She shouted into the empty air and threw her gun down. She glared at Sam and Tucker. 

Maddie walked up to them. “Are you aiding the ghost kid?”

They looked between each other, shock on their faces. “No.” Sam said. “The ghost was going to attack us. Phantom was just trying-” 

“To win you over.” Maddie hissed out. “He’s nothing but a manipulator and an evil ghost. He doesn’t really care about whether or not you get hurt. He’s just doing it to fulfill his own needs.”

Sam took a step back at Maddie’s words. Tucker grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. Dash could tell that her words upset them. Unsettled them. He’d never seen Mrs. Fenton talk to someone like that before. Let alone Danny’s friends. 

Danny walked up behind him, his arm brushing against Dash’s. 

“We can’t tell them.”

Dash looked at Danny sharply. “What? I thought you were going to-” 

He shook his head. “It would be nice for them to know, but would it just put them in danger? All I did was push them out of the way of that attack and my mom’s accusing them of aiding and abetting me.” 

Dash looked back up at where Maddie was stomping away from Sam and Tucker. Their shocked expressions turned to look at Danny and Dash. 

“What would she do if they knew and they were really helping me?” Danny whispered. 

Dash shook his head. “I.. I don’t know.”

Danny turned his head to look up at Dash. “We can’t tell them.” 

“Okay. We won’t tell them.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Get back here, ghost scum!” 

Dash ran behind Danny’s parents as they chased him through the air. Of all the things to be giving them the most grief these days, it was Danny’s parents. 

Let’s tear him apart molecule by molecule.

We have to have some remains to examine. 

I wonder what his insides look like. 

Let’s tear him up and find out.

They were relentlessly hunting Danny every time another ghost attacked. They didn’t even bother with the other ghosts anymore either. They only had their sights set on Phantom. That was all they cared about.

He heard Maddie’s weapon go off again and Dash turned down an alley. He had to somehow get to their rendezvous point before them so that Danny could transform and they could get his parents off his trail. 

As he came out of the alley, he saw that Danny had turned around in the air. Dash waved up at him and when Danny caught sight of him Dash ran into the next alley. Dash had his back pressed up against the wall and hid on the other side of some garbage cans when Danny flew into the alley and came to stand next to Dash. 

Dash pulled Danny behind him and turned so he was blocking him from being seen from the entrance. 

“How close were they?” He whispered.

“Too close.” Danny breathed out heavily, calling on his transformation rings. “They-”

His parents ran around the corner of the alley right as Danny’s transformation finished passing. He had a panicked look on his face. Reaching up, he grabbed Dash’s cheeks and pulled his face down. 

Dash’s eyes widened.

“Freeze, ghost scum!” 

Understanding dawned on Dash and he wrapped an arm around Danny’s waist and deepened the kiss. Danny carded a few fingers through his hair and then jumped and pulled away, faking surprise as he looked over Dash’s shoulder. 

“Danny?” His mom called over in surprise. “Is that Dash?”

Dash tried to turn around sheepishly. “H-hey, Mrs. Fenton.” His voice shook and he hoped she couldn’t pick up on the fear that laced through it. 

Jack sniffled. “Maddie, our little boy is turning into a man. I think it’s time we gave him the talk.”

“No!” Danny lifted both hands from Dash and waved them vigorously over Dash’s shoulders. “No talk! I do not want to suffer through that.” 

“I didn’t know you two were-” Maddie scratched her chin. “When did you two start dating?”

They looked at each other.

“Today-”

“The beginning of September-”

Danny frowned at Dash and he chuckled. 

“Haha, yeah, the beginning of September.” 

Danny facepalmed. Maddie’s eyes opened wide.

“You’ve been dating that long already? Why didn’t the two of you say anything?” She gasped and held a hand up to her mouth. “Did you not feel safe talking to us about it? I’m so sorry, if we ever did anything to make you feel unsafe-”

“No, mom. It’s- it’s not that.” Danny stammered. “I’m just not ready to talk about it yet.” 

Dash looked between Danny and his parents. And the weapons that they were still holding in their hands. Maddie smiled at them. 

“That’s okay. We’ll be here when you’re ready.” She lifted her gun to brandish it in both hands again. “Did you two see where that ghost went off to? We were hot on his trail just a minute ago.” 

Danny shook his head. “No, sorry. We were, uh, busy.”

“Drat.” Jack snapped his fingers. “He got away again.”

“It’s okay, Jack. We’ll get him one of these days.” Maddie placed a hand on his arm. She turned her head to look back at Danny. “Be sure to be home for dinner. Bring Dash with you if he would like to join us.” 

They walked back out of the alley. Danny leaned his head forward and rested it on Dash’s chest, letting out a deep breath. 

“That was too close.” 

They sat there like that for a little bit. Dash’s hand was still on Danny’s waist. He started rubbing small circles there with his thumb. Danny took another deep breath and pulled away. Dash wilted at the loss of contact. 

“Let’s get back to the house.” Danny said quietly. “Unless you want to go home?”

Dash shook his head. “I’ll come back with you. Stay for dinner.” 

Danny nodded, relieved. Dash reached a hand up and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. 

“Let’s go home.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, Pariah.” 

“Yup.”

Danny was slumped in his seat at the kitchen table. His head hung over the back of it and he just stared up at the ceiling. 

“Almost died.”

“Yeah.” 

Dash played with his pencil that was sitting on the table next to his homework. “At least the ghosts seem to have more respect for you now. You put their terrifying king back into his coffin again.” 

Danny nodded. 

Dash frowned at him. “Are you okay, Danny?” 

Danny looked at him. “Yeah. I just- It’s a lot to process. Like, why did Vlad give Valerie her weapons? Why is he looking for all these artifacts? What is he planning? Why save me? He could’ve just left me there and I wouldn’t be in his hair anymore. He’d be able to kill my dad all he wanted.” 

He looked back up at the ceiling. “What does me defeating the king of the ghost zone really mean?”

Dash opened his mouth to respond but realized he didn’t have any input for that. He closed it again and reached a hand over to Danny but jumped, pulling it away when the basement door opened. 

“Hey, boys! How are you?” Maddie asked as she came up the stairs from the lab.

“We’re good, Mom. How’s the work going?” Danny looked up at her. 

“We’re making a lot of progress on our newest invention!” She walked over to the sink and grabbed a glass and started filling it with water. “We’ll surely get Phantom with this one! It neutralizes a ghost’s powers so it can no longer use them!” 

Dash tensed up and he turned his head to look at Danny. Danny’s eyes were wide as he stared at his mom. “Yeah? Wow.”

Maddie nodded. “We’ve got to get him somehow. I think this one will give us a fighting chance. We’re looking to get a more humanoid ghost to examine for our studies and see what makes them different from blob ghosts.” 

“What will you do when you get him?” Dash asked with a little shake to his voice. Maddie smiled at him. 

“We’re going to cut him open and see if there’s anything to examine inside him. We’re really curious about his core. A blob ghost’s core isn’t strong enough to sustain itself if it’s even slightly damaged, but Phantom’s would no doubt be much stronger. We could head down to the lab and take a look at-” 

 Dash suddenly stood up from the table, his heart racing at the mention of the lab.

“I have to get going. Curfew, you know?” Dash pointed over his shoulder and then tapped his wrist.

“It’s like five pm.” Danny deadpanned. 

Maddie frowned. “That’s too bad. Don’t be afraid to come over more often. We don’t bite. We could even give you a tour of the lab!” 

“Haha, that’s okay. I’ve been warned about all the hazards and wastes that are down there. I’m good hearing about it from up here.”

Maddie shrugged. “Suit yourself. But the offer still stands if you ever want to take us up on it one day.” She grabbed her glass of water and walked to the lab door. “Back to it!” 

She pulled the door closed behind her and after a minute Danny’s gaze shifted to Dash.

“Curfew?”

“I don’t know!” Dash groaned and covered his face. “It was the first thing I thought of.”

“Knowing your dad, my mom probably believed that he would move up your curfew to some insane time.” 

Dash shook his head and closed his eyes. He just… Couldn’t go down there. Even the thought of it brought Danny’s screams back into his mind. 

He felt a hand on his arm and opened his eyes. Danny was looking at him. 

“You don’t have to go in the lab if you don’t want to. Ever. Even if they’re begging on their hands and knees.”

Dash smiled and patted Danny’s hand. “Thanks. I do think I’m going to head out for the night though. Call me if any ghost stuff happens?”

Danny nodded and stood up to walk Dash to the door. “You know I always do.” 

He waved at Danny over his shoulder. 

“See you tomorrow.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dash hadn’t heard from Danny for two days. Before, that wouldn’t have been anything out of the ordinary. But ever since the accident with the portal Dash usually got at least one update from Danny on the whole ghost thing a day. 

He was on his way to Fentonworks now. He just… had a bad feeling. He couldn’t describe it. He knew that if he went to check on Danny and didn’t find him, that he could panic a little more reasonably. 

He walked up the steps to the Fenton’s front door. He went to knock, but when his fist made contact the first time the door opened slightly. Dash frowned.

Why would they just leave the front door open like that? Were they even home? 

Dash pushed the door open the rest of the way and walked inside. 

“Danny?” He called into the house. No one responded. 

He pushed the door closed behind him and headed towards the stairs. Hopefully Danny would just be sick in his room. He really hoped that was where he’d be. 

It was eerily quiet as he walked up the stairs. Fentonworks was always full of life and people any time Dash had been there before. It unnerved him how calm it was. 

Dash made his way to Danny’s door. He paused outside it for a moment before he raised his fist to knock.

He waited a second, two, three, but there was no response. 

“Danny? I’m coming in.” 

He opened the door and swung it open. His heart dropped when he saw that the room was empty. Danny wasn’t here.

He turned back around without closing the door. He walked down the hallway to Jazz’s room and banged on the door, more panicked now. 

Jazz must not have been home either because he waited and didn’t hear anything on the other side of the door. He turned around and headed back towards the stairs, pulling his phone out.

He didn’t think he had a choice. He had to tell Sam and Tucker. Maybe they knew something. Maybe Danny told them where he was. He’d start with that, if they’ve heard from Danny at all the past couple days. Then if he had to he’d tell them about Danny being a half ghost. Maybe they would be able to help.

He heard a noise. 

Dash’s head whipped towards the kitchen. He slowly walked into the room and turned his head.

Dash saw the open door to the lab. There was a light flickering down there and dread crawled up his throat. 

He never wanted to step foot in that lab again.

Dash gulped. 

He had to do this. He could go down there again. He had to see if Danny was down there. He had to find him. 

Dash walked through the kitchen and into the open doorway. He tiptoed his way down the stairs slowly. He could still turn around. He didn’t have to see what was happening down here. 

Dash took a deep breath and took the last step into the lab. 

Danny was there, surrounded by his parents. His insides exposed for Maddie to root around in. Dash felt nausea well up inside him. 

“What have you done?!” 

Jack and Maddie didn’t pay any mind to Dash’s outburst, but he could see Danny stir.

Danny locked eyes with Dash just as his parents touched the glowing orb that sat in his chest with a scalpel. 

An explosion erupted from it and Dash covered his face. It sent cracks up the walls and across the floor and the building was trembling. Everything was creaking and debris was raining down from the ceiling. 

Danny still lay on the table but his parents were on the floor. He couldn’t tell if they were still breathing or not, but right now he didn’t care.

He ran across the lab to where Danny lay on their dissection table. Danny’s insides were all laid bare to the air. How was Dash supposed to get him somewhere safe?

The house creaked above him and Dash decided that there was no choice. He’d just have to pick him up like this. 

Dash scooped Danny up into his arms. He was limp, but he was miraculously still breathing. He turned towards the stairs as the building gave another creak and they caved in. Panic spiked in Dash’s chest. What was he supposed to do? His only way out was blocked. How-

The green glow of the swirling portal caught his eye. He turned his head to look at it. He had no other choice. That was his only way out. 

Dash turned his body and started running towards the portal as the rest of the ceiling started collapsing. 

He clutched Danny to his chest and dove into the ghost portal. 

[genericpuff]

Absolutely love the rendition to the panel of Hades holding Persephone. Lovely to see it rendered as a more mutual act with Perse holding onto Hades instead of just letting Hades hold her, and ofc seeing Persephone actually look like an adult woman. (Not to even mention the colors and rendering because whoaa those were lovely)

And I have a question about this new rendition if I’m allowed to make it! The original had very dramatic and sharp composition with the angles and being off centered which conveyed much of the emotions and style that made early LO very striking. In adapting it, was it a conscious choice to change the composition or what were the deciding factors that made you and banshriek decide centering Perse and Hades worked better in this situation? :0

Ahhh thank you ;w; It took a few rounds of sketching to get the pose just right, the flats thankfully weren't as difficult as I was worried they'd be, but the challenge was definitely in trying to get the pose right while maintaining the height difference that's there.

As for your question, a lot of the posing and sketch composition is something I do, and then Banshriek typically goes wild with the backgrounds while making adjustments to those compositions if necessary, often times I leave the backgrounds up to their discretion as they're 10x more skilled at that sort of thing than I am and they often bring new perspectives to the table. This means that it often ends up being a game of give and take between what we contribute, sometimes I'll have sketches that they feel need to be adjusted, other times I'll have to add little tweaks to their backgrounds if it's missing something. We're both working off a base rough sketch, but we both get to contribute to the final scene in our own ways; splitting it between background and character flats has been a happy middle that's worked well for us :)

Depending on the scene, sketches can range from minimal to more detailed. Here's the original base sketch for that scene:

So originally there was a larger tree working over the side but I didn't really know how detailed we wanted to be in the actual full background, much of it depended on how complex Banshriek wanted to get. You can also tell that Persephone's face was originally buried into Hades' chest in the original panel, which I originally flatted in, but then wound up changing because I wanted her eyes to be visible to reflect both of their expressions of relief at the same time.

That said, with the pose changing from what it was in the original (from Persephone almost laying on Hades vs. him holding her and lifting her up) the composition had to change with it so I decided to just make them a bit more centered, that way the focus would be fully on them and the balance of the scene wouldn't feel "off" due to the pose change. I tend to follow the Rule of 3 here !

So yeah! That's pretty much why centering it felt a little better in this case. Though part me of does wish I was able to keep the original pose, when breaking that scene down into its bones I found it had to take a lot of liberties with its anatomy and proportions, as many LO scenes do. You can't really tell just on a surface level but Persephone's head is huge and the rest of her body is tiny (her hips literally come up to Hades' sternum and her feet meet at his knees). With the character design changes made in Rekindled to make Persephone a little less tiny and more consistent in her body type (while still maintaining the size difference between them) and to reflect their character arcs at this point (as I'm not rushing them into intimacy quite like the original comic did) certain things have to change to balance it out and accommodate. If you're a math person, think of it like solving algebra equations - what you do to one side of the equation needs to be reflected and adjusted on the other side.

And of course Banshriek did a lot more to really exemplify the mood shift in the almost labrynth-like forest Persephone grew within Tower 4. There are still trees and plant life everywhere, but instead of feeling like an endless maze with its tones of deep red that we saw Hades navigate, it now feels like a soft and gentle meeting point for the two. Like the original scene, the color change is used to change the mood of the scene and reflect the calmness of Hades and Persephone as they've found one another.

At the end of the day we did what we ultimately thought would work best for the way Rekindled is drawn, giving both Banshriek and I the freedom to fully utilize our respective skillsets. That way we were able to pay tribute to that original scene while also creating something new out of it <3

That said, I'm sure @banshriek can also chime in with their own design notes on this episode, if they have a minute to spare! I'm sure they'll have lots to say about the fun they had working with those new brushesヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

[goldenfreddys]

september ‘04, cont.— um, it's kind of a lot

“Well, I have some news. It’s good news for me, but I think maybe mortifying for you.” Nadia grinned, cross legged in bed with a large book in her lap, “I have unearthed an archaeological artifact, courtesy of your mom.”

Jeremy groaned in faux anguish and sat down beside her. It was a photo album, probably filled with various outtake pictures of his youth that his mom didn’t have room to include in her primary album.

Nadia opened it up and immediately started laughing. There was a blurry picture of a newborn baby with adult sized sunglasses positioned on his tiny face, followed by more baby pictures of a similar ilk.

One photo, dated October ‘88, starred a small child wearing a ghostbusters jumpsuit.

Nadia pointed at the kid, “Oh my god, is that you?”

“Nope.” Jeremy guided her finger over to the child situated in the background dressed as a white-sheet ghost, “That’s me.”

“Wait, then…”

“My sister. I was kinda camera shy, so I always got her to stand in front of me for these types of pics.”

Nadia snorted, “Was? You slapped my camera into the lake last time I tried taking a picture of you.”

“You were being sneaky. You spooked me.”

“You’re right, next time I'll hold out a handful of sugar cubes and say ‘easy there’ like you're a horse that saw a scary twig.”

The next page had some pictures of a fishing trip. Nadia paused, frowning.

“Are you crying in this one?”

“Oh… Yeah, I-I didn't realize that in order to cook and eat the fish we also had to kill it. Um, coincidentally, this is also when I lost interest in fishing.”

They continued flipping through the pages.

“... What’s your sister’s name? You didn't say.”

“Charlie. We were pretty close back in the day.”

“Not anymore?”

“We-we um, we haven't really been in touch, given she… Died. Almost ten years ago.”

“Oh…”

Ten years. He began double checking the math in his head, before the train of thought derailed into a pile of blurry, dateless snapshots—questions like ‘do any of these men look like the one you saw that night?’ presented with a lineup of nondescript mugshots he couldn't tell apart, ‘worry tracker’ worksheets, the escalation from school counselors to therapists to adolescent psychopharmacologists, the de-escalation from policemen to detectives to amateur true crime enthusiasts— all of it at once, tangled in a cat's cradle.

Nadia set aside the album and stood up, “We’ll come back to that one. Go take a shower, you smell like job.”

It was true. Freddy’s had that typical unfamiliar place smell, combined with something kind of bitter and industrial, that clung to his clothes. Another wave of dread washed over him just thinking about his shift. If he had a scrapbook of bad first impressions, sleeping through his shift and acting like a complete basket case in front of his supervisor immediately after would need to have its own 2-page spread.

“I’m hearing a lot of silence and not a lot of getting in the wet-box!” Nadia called from the kitchen.

Jeremy took a breath and attempted to reel his focus back to the present. He got up, trying to itemize what needed to be done as he dug through the suitcase of clothes he hadn’t remembered to put away. After showering, he would need to eat, then phone his mom and try to get some actual rest. Alternatively, he could try to figure out where the fabled washer and drier unit was in the apartment.

The buttons on the light purple dress shirt he’d been given as a uniform were stiff and difficult- or maybe they were normal, and Jeremy’s fingers were still a bit jittery. Probably both.

He tried not to get into staring in the mirror. Although, he remembered last week one of Nadia’s new friends admitted she thought he was a butch lesbian when she first saw him, which was oddly comforting. It stuck in his head and gave a nice little rush whenever he had to look at himself- butches were cool, he thought. They performed machismo with grace.

Today was a hot shower day, Jeremy decided. He deserved a treat.

[godzilla-reads]

Happy new year,

hope you have a good year, your posts and book reviews are always a delight to see on my dash. I don't have many new years resolutions, but one of them is to try and read 3 non-fiction books. I mean ofcourse fiction especially fantasy and sci-fi are still my favourite and I will be reading them either way. Reading non-fiction can be a little bit daunting though. Sometimes its difficult for me to get into because when I am reading a story I can remember what happened before when I pick it back up again, but with non fiction I often have to go back and reread large sections to follow along. This problem usually gets worse because with fiction I am invested in the characters and the plot so i try to get back to the book as soon as I have time but then with non-fiction it ends up getting pushed back (like if I am reading nonfiction anyway I might as well read my uni textbooks). But I have enjoyed reading nonfiction previously, such as "How not to be wrong: the hidden maths of every day life" which was funnier than I expected and "Quantum Theory Cannot Hurt You: Understanding the Mind-Blowing Building Blocks of the Universe" which had some really poetic descriptions of subatomic particles and about us trying to understand the nature of the universe. So I am hoping I can read 3 more this year. Maybe I will take your recomendation and read Crow Planet, because I wanted to read something ecology related and this combines that with my interest in crows. Yeah if you have any advice on it I would be glad to hear it, or if you just want to tell me about any of your resolutions. Happy new year again.

Friend!

One of my pieces of advice when reading nonfiction is to start by reading something you want to learn more about or are passionate about. It makes it a lot easier to start reading nonfiction that way.

I don’t do any resolutions, but I have been doing Oracle and rune readings for the upcoming year. In my Oracle I got a Gawtcha Fae which represents unexpected change, and I pulled the rune Fehu which means wealth. So fingers crossed these are good things.

My reading goal this year is to focus on novels and longer books as I read a lot of children’s/shorter books in 2023. I don’t mind reading less books if they’re longer!

Happy New Year!

[unhappycylinder]

Hellfire’s Newest Member (Eddie x fem!Reader) Pt. 14

Warnings: kissing, fluff, etc. This is the last part I’ve written/published. If ya’ll want me to continue lmk!

--

The door to the trailer slammed shut behind you, your back pressed flat against it by the force of Eddie's entire body weight on you, his lips attacking your neck with greedy kisses. His hands grasped at your hips, pulling you towards him and pushing you back against the door as he pressed his body against you rhythmically.

"Eddie-" you gasped, running your hands through his hair, fingernails threatening to dig into his scalp.

He didn't stop. Instead his mouth found yours, his tongue swirling with yours as your teeth nearly collided. You pulled at his hair from his scalp, trying to get him off you for a second...despite how much you wanted this to continue.

"Eddie..." you spoke between kisses, "Eddie isn't your-"

"Not now sweetheart," he hummed as his right hand found your throat, forcing your head up to look him in the eyes, "now's not the time for questions."

"Eddie, your uncle's gonna be home any minute," you whispered, Eddie's grip tightened ever so slightly on your throat.

"Fuck" he sighed, tilting his head back and leaning his hips against yours. His hands left your body to run through his frizzy dark hair, a ring catching on some of his curls.

"Shit," he mumbled as he untangled his hair, making you giggle.

"Oh so this is funny now is it?" He taunted playfully before leaning in for another kiss, this one more tender than the last.

"Yeah a little bit," you giggled, eyes gazing up through your lashes at your beautiful boyfriend.

"Why'd you have to remember my uncle baby," he asked quietly as he leaned his forehead against yours and propped his arms above your head, encasing you within himself, "I was reallyyyy looking forward to where that was going."

"Because, Edward, however much I want you to do whatever you want to me right here right now...its not worth the embarrassment of your uncle walking in on us"

"Who knows, maybe it could be fun"

"Eddie!" You pushed him off you, laughing to yourself as you grabbed your backpack from his floor and began to walk down the hall towards Eddie's room. Eddie followed, his fingers gently laced with yours as you led him to what was slowly becoming your room as well.

--- Eddie's POV---

You sat on the floor of your room, math textbooks and papers sprawled out in front of you. The gentle hum of the tv could be heard from the living room, where your uncle was watching the news. Y/n was perched on your bed, her legs crossed in front of her with a book in her lap as she scratched at her scalp.

How could you ever focus with her here, with the most perfect girl on the planet just inches away from you? Your eyes scanned between her and your math homework, wondering how long you'd have to stare at her before she'd stop reading and notice you.

"Good idea," you thought to yourself.

And with that, you turned ever so slightly to face her, your dark eyes fixed on your girlfriend's face; the way she nibbled at her lip and furrowed her brows when she was working on a particularly difficult problem, the way she scratched at her forehead when she was reading, the way her eyes so effortlessly scanned the pages and absorbed information. You were mesmerized, captivated, enthralled, and so absolutely baffled as to how she was here with you, as to why she chose you to be with over everyone else in the school.

"Eddie my love," she whispered, her eyes not leaving the page.

"Yeah princess," you replied, eyes locked on her soft lips.

"You're staring"

"Was seeing how long it'd take you to notice"

"I've known the whole time honey," she removed her book from her lap and uncrossed her legs, scooting closer to the end of the bed, closer to you, "you haven't really mastered the art of subtlety"

Her right hand reached out to gently nudge your chin closer to her, your eyes closing as your lips met for a tender kiss. You stood up on your knees, positioning yourself in between her legs which were hanging off the edge of your mattress.

You ran your hands up and down her jean-covered thighs, grasping at her every so often. Almost as if she could read your mind, she traced her hands up your arms until they clasped at the back of your neck, pulling you closer to her.

As badly as you wanted to pick her up and throw her down onto your bed and just say screw it all together to studying, you didn't. You followed her lead this time, keeping the kiss soft and passionate. It was emotive, it told you just how much she loved you without her even saying it.

After a few minutes you both pulled away, just sitting there staring at each other for a few seconds.

"Come on lover boy," she said as she patted you on the chest, "let's get to studying so you can stop army crawling your way towards passing this class"

"As if thats possible," you remarked under your breath

"Eddie," she said, smooshing your cheeks together and pulling your face up to look at her, "if we don't graduate together this spring I will personally make sure your life is a living hell"

"Yes ma'am," you lisped.

--- Y/n's POV ---

After what felt like years of desperately trying to teach Eddie the most basic math problems on Earth, you two had finally called it quits on studying for the night. You were halfway through an algebra equation when you felt your eyelids get heavy and your muscles grow tired. Eddie of course picked up on this instantly and guided you gently back onto his bed, removing your jeans and leaving you bundled up under the covers in nothing but your undies and t-shirt.

You must have been out for a couple hours because by the time you woke up and stretched your hand out to feel for Eddie laying next to you, you found nobody there.

The sun had set and the glow of streetlamps flooded in through Eddie's window, his desk lamp illuminating the room as your eyes scanned around for him.

There was no Eddie, but on the floor were a bunch of tiny DnD figurines and one of those paint sets you find at the dollar store that come with a tiny sample of rainbow acrylics. Next to it was a manual for what you could only assume was his next campaign, and a few paper towels covered in paint stains.

You shifted so you were sitting upright, the covers still wrapped around your lower half, as you leaned over to look at his art.

"Mornin' sweetheart," Eddie's tired voice flooded your ears and you couldn't help but smile as you glanced at him leaning against the doorframe with a glass of water in his hand.

"Hi Eds, how long was I out?"

"Like three hours maybe," he questioned as he tiptoed over his figurines to sit next to you on the bed, "want some?"

You took the glass from him, taking a sip of the water before bending over Eddie's lap to set it on his nightstand. As you did so, Eddie's hands found your bare legs which were now visible, and he ran his fingers up and down your skin as you set the cup down and returned back to your seat.

"You're so gorgeous Y/n," he said in disbelief

"So are you honey," you said as you kissed his cheek, "and so are these little things," you gestured to his figurines.

"Yeah?" He practically shouted as he moved to sit on the ground in front of his figurines, obviously thrilled that someone took an interest in them.

"Are you kidding? Of course yeah! I didn't know you painted them yourself"

"What kind of man would I be if I didn't paint my own figurines?"

"That might have been the nerdiest thing you've ever said," you chuckled, "but you do have a point I guess...they really are lovely Eds"

"Well good, I'm happy you like them." He examined one up close in the palm of his hand, "I mean it's important that you do since they'll be in the next campaign and everything."

"Next campaign huh?" You questioned, a smile plastered across your face, "So I'm invited back to Hellfire huh?"

"Invited back?" He questioned, setting the figure down, "Baby you're the queen of Hellfire. From this point on it doesn't happen without you"

"That's what I like to hear," you smiled, "Now are you gonna join me up here or am I gonna have to sleep by myself all night, Munson?"

"Just let me finish this one and I'll be right there"

"Oh I see," you taunted, laying down and turning away from him

"See what?" Eddie questioned.

"You'd rather play with your silly little action figures than cuddle your girlfriend..." you hummed, teasing Eddie.

"Woman!" He groaned, the sound of plastic hitting the ground, and his desk lamp turning off, accompanying him as he walked over to the bed. Eddie's arms wrapped around you as he attacked the side of your face with kisses, "you and I both know they are not action figures!"

You laughed with Eddie as he tickled your arms and kissed your cheek, eventually falling into a warm embrace with him, engulfed in the arms of the man you loved most.

--

Taglist: @definitelynotecho @sadbitchfangirl @lfaewrites @tlclick73 

[insidious-apple]

Fic writer ask game 11, 24, 56 ❤️

Thank you for asking!

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

good god this is difficult, it's gonna be more than three

Passerine by blujamas is probably my all time favorite. It's MCYT and it made me cry SO HARD Safe and Distant by Lindzzz is bagginshield and my god its got everything you could possibly want Reputation be Damned by Fantasyinallforms bestie, you SLAYED here. the open ending is killing me in the best way possible, so many possibilities!! I reread it so often Living Stone by northerntrash is also bagginshield and its FANTASTIC so much to think about!! Remembrance by Fantasyinallforms again, SLAYED and I'm currently working on my own sequel to this, but I honestly could only dream of it being half as good. I cried. It was amazing. You're definitely one of my top three favorite authors of all time

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

This one's tricky because everyone writes so differently and- nah just kidding, the worst writing advice someone ever gave me was to give up. They said I have too much going on and that I should focus on what's "really important".

My problems with this are threefold: first, having a creative outlet is really important to me and this casual dismissal of one of my favorite things (and something I consider to be one of my talents) really hurt me. Secondly, I'm pretty good at time management and while I do have a lot of stuff going on, I am still able to make time for my passions, so this advice wasn't helpful at all.

Finally, I think that if you love or want something, never give up until you get it. This belief comes from over a decade of competitive team sports and my coaches always told me that if I wanted something, I should work as hard as I could and try my fuckin best to get it, and never ever EVER give up. (Within reason of course.) I want to create stories, and I'm not going to give up. I might take breaks, but being creative is important to me, and I don't know how I could quit.

I don't know if I phrased all that correctly or got my passion/point across in the way I hoped to, but yeah. I ain't quittin :D

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

This one's actually tricky because I don't think I'm that good at writing. I'm a math major and my job is in data science, so writing fictional stories isn't necessarily my forte; I've been told my stories read like a captain's log sometimes lmao.

That said, this actually helps me a little. For every hour of writing I do, I probably do 2+ hours of research. For whatever reason, I'm insanely good at figuring out what keywords to search and where to find information I need to make my stories as accurate/consistent as possible. I'm also a bit of a grammar nerd, so I rarely make spelling and grammar errors, and a lot of my friends irl pay me (in gummy bears, usually) to proofread their essays for spelling/grammar/clarity/formatting. I also help them with research if needed, cause tbh i fuckin love it (and I love helping others succeed)

~~~

Thank you so much for the questions!!

[inazumaeveryday]

Day 11

At home

Kidou: Good morning, mar.

Today’s the match between Biyuutei and Ooedo… But I’ll leave the scouting to Sakuma this time.

I kept dragging you to all sorts of places the last few days… We should focus on school for today. I don’t want you to fall behind.

mar: (So we’re going to study all day…)

Option 1

mar: Then you can tutor me, Yuuto-kun!

Kidou: Be serious. I don’t have that much free time.

Option 2

mar: I’m doing just fine, you know!

Kidou: You are? That’s a relief, then. I don’t really have time to help you.

Kidou: I have to attend another important party for the Kidou Zaibatsu tonight, so I’ve got a lot to do. I’d rather focus on my own studies for now.

That said, it's true that explaining something to someone can help you memorize it better…

Well, it all depends on the situation, I suppose.

Breakfast

Kidou: I’m hungry for something salty this morning…

I wonder if it’s because of all the chocolate I ate last night…?

Kidou’s room

Kidou: mar, you were supposed to be ready five minutes ago already…

Hurry up. I’m already ready to leave.

In the car

Kidou: I’ll check if there were any updates to Biyuutei and Ooedo’s data…

Hmm… Nothing particularly important.

Morning practice

Sakuma: Leave the information collection to us today. We’ll bring you all the data you need on Biyuutei and Ooedo!

Jimon: I know they’re both B-rank teams, but is there anything in particular you want us to pay attention to?

Kidou: Not really, I didn’t see anything new that was worth looking into…

Sorry, this might honestly just be a waste of your time… But you never know. I’m counting on you.

At school

Class (math)

Kidou: Equations only get more beautiful as they gain in complexity.

If I didn’t already have soccer, I might’ve been drawn to math.

Break

Students: Hey, you know the snake we were going to use in science class? I heard it escaped…

What? For real!?

And they haven’t found it yet…

Kidou: A snake escaped…?

…………

mar, how do you feel about snakes?

Option 1

mar: I don’t want anything to do with them! No way, no way, nooo wayyy!!

Kidou: Right…?

Option 2

mar: I don’t mind them!

Kidou: Oh, I see…

Kidou: If it’s a snake we were going to use in class, then I don’t think it’s dangerous…

Students: Kidou-sama, watch out! Behind you!!

Kidou: !?

*

Kidou: I never expected the escaped snake to sneak in there…

I’m relieved it was found, but I hope they’ll keep a closer eye on it now…

*

Kidou: I’m focusing on school today, so I’m going to study during our breaks.

mar, you should do the same.

Class (Japanese)

Kidou: We’re learning how to write haiku today…

Hmm… I’m trying to write one about soccer somehow, but it’s more difficult than I thought.

Break

Genda: Hey, Kidou… Oh, oops. You’re in full-on study mode today, huh. Sorry to interrupt.

Kidou: Yeah, I’ve been a little too focused on soccer lately… What’s going on?

Genda: Oh, I just wanted to talk about the training menu… But it can wait until later, don’t worry.

Kidou: Alright, thanks.

Class (social studies)

Kidou: History doesn’t make much sense when you only remember the big, famous events.

You have to understand what caused these events to happen, and what kind of effect they had on the rest of history as well.

Break

Sakiyama: Kidou-san, mar-san, working hard, as alw…

Ah…! Kidou-san’s studying… Wow, he’s got this super intense “don’t talk to me” aura about him…

Kidou-san’s ability to focus in any situation is really impressive…!

Kidou: …………

Class (science)

Kidou: The spin of the ball during a free kick is due to the rotation of the ball and its speed…

It’s also influenced by air flow and pressure.

Lunch

Kidou: On days when our morning practice is particularly hard, I feel like I’m starving by the time lunch break comes…

I feel just as hungry now after studying so much all morning.

Lunch break

Kidou: Yeah, I really don’t feel like studying right after eating, after all.

My brain needs some time to rest too…

Class (English)

Kidou: We’re watching a movie without subtitles today.

Hehe. This is a part where we’re supposed to laugh.

Break

Kidou: We’re taking a break right in the middle of the movie… All I can think about is what happens next.

What about you, mar? Who do you think did it?

Class (English)

Kidou: mar, do you watch foreign movies dubbed or in the original language, with subtitles?

I personally just check the subtitles when I don’t understand something.

Break

Kidou: Oh, it’s already time for our last class of the day. Time really does fly when you’re focused…

Hm? I missed a call from Sakuma…

Oh, he sent me a text too.

Hmm… Looks like Biyuutei won.

Class (art)

Kidou: Red is the name given to the general color, but different tones of red can look pretty drastically different.

My cape is obviously red, but can you guess the name of that exact tone of red?

Club activities

Kidou: Our opponent in the semi-finals has been decided. We’ll play against Biyuutei.

Sakuma: After watching their match, I’d say they’re pretty good, overall.

I could tell they’re all individually skilled, but…

I did notice some of them tended to make flashy plays without paying much attention to the rest of the team, and their formation was a mess.

Jimon: Yeah, and they kept fighting among themselves in the middle of the match.

Talk about a shameful sight. It killed the mood for everyone there.

Kidou: Their playmaker is doing a really poor job of leading his team.

Genda: Guess Biyuutei’s no match for us either.

Kidou: Doesn’t look like it, yeah.

Alright, everyone! Let’s start practicing!

In the car

Kidou: When it comes to soccer, I have absolutely no problem facing even the strongest opponents, but…

Kidou: Tonight’s party will be full of very important guests of the Kidou Zaibatsu, so I’m a little nervous.

At home

Kidou: Alright, I’d better go take a bath and get ready now…

Phew…

In the bath

Kidou: I’ll have to look over and organize the new data when I get back from the party…

Glubglubglub…

Kidou’s room

Kidou: A lot of the guests at tonight’s party are foreigners, so we’ll mostly be speaking English.

Of course, we also have to provide multilingual support so everything goes smoothly...

It’s a little stressful, but there’ll be interpreters so I should be fine…

Sorry I can’t take you today either. I’m counting on you to watch the house while I’m away.

Option 1

mar: I hope you’ll get to eat more delicious food!

Kidou: I don’t think I will. I’m going to be doing more talking than eating tonight.

Option 2

mar: I can’t wait to see what souvenirs you’ll bring back!

Kidou: …You want me to buy you something?

Kidou: Oh, right… Dad said a lot of female guests were attending this time.

It’s good manners overseas to compliment the guests at a party, but when complimenting a woman, you shouldn’t call her cute. It’s more flattering to say she’s beautiful.

2 hours later

Kidou: mar, I’m back. Here, I brought you a bottle of wine.

I got it at the party, but you can bring it home as a souvenir of your stay here.

I hear it’s quite good. You can look forward to drinking it once you’re of age.

Kidou: …What’s wrong? You’re not looking very happy about it…

Oh, by the way, Domon sent me an interesting report earlier.

The legendary Inazuma Eleven apparently kept their special training secret thanks to a place called Inabikari Training Center…

He said Raimon just had that place renovated, and they’ve started training there to create new special moves.

Option 1

mar: The legendary Inazuma Eleven, huh… I wonder what kind of team it was?

Kidou: I’ve heard it was a team with superhuman strength and that they’d never lost a match.

They also created a lot of powerful moves.

And apparently, Endou is the grandson of their coach, Endou Daisuke.

Option 2

mar: I wonder what kind of training they’re doing this time?

Kidou: I honestly have no idea. He told me so much about it, but it all sounds so outlandish that I can’t picture what it’s like at all.

They’ve got a giant roulette wheel instead of running machines, climbing walls that move, a ball throwing machine that looks like a missile launcher…

It looks like Domon had a really hard time there. He wouldn’t stop complaining about it.

…………

Raimon have their match against Mikage Sennou tomorrow…

I’m looking forward to seeing the results of that training at the Inabikari Center.

*

Kidou: Oh, right… I still have to watch Biyuutei’s match.

Hmm… It’s just like Sakuma and Jimon said…

*

Kidou: Alright, time to sleep.

Goodnight, mar.

At night…

Kidou: …………

…Inabikari…training center…

[duskholland]

Cuddle Buddies | Peter Parker

summary ↠ you’re touch-starved, Peter’s your best friend, and there’s a whole lot of unresolved romantic tension between you; friends to lovers.

word count ↠ 3.4k

warnings ↠ uh oh.... there’s only one bed..? additionally maybe two swear words? also copious amounts of fluff lmao

a/n ↠ so apparently I really wanna cuddle Peter Parker. wbk. this is very cute and made me so soft when I wrote it. I hope you enjoy it! please let me know if you have any thoughts :D

“God damn, MJ, I think I’m actually going to die if I don’t get a hug soon.”

You’re rambling, your voice full of heavy frustration. Your hair is unkempt and messy from all the times you’ve run your fingers through it, and you stare at Michelle with a wild look in your eyes that makes her press a hand to her hips and laugh lightly.

“Has anyone told you that you’re really good at being dramatic, Y/N?” She replies casually, causing you to mock an outraged gasp. You sit down at the lunch table together, setting down your trays in front of you.

You manage a glare at your friend. “You’re so mean to me,” you whine. “You don’t understand how desperate I am.”

MJ narrows her eyes. “I don’t think it’s possible to die from lack of human contact,” she chimes.

“Who’s dying?”

You startle as a third, familiar voice joins the conversation, and crane your neck to see Peter slipping into the open seat beside you. He gives you an easy smile that stretches all the way to his soft, lovely brown eyes, and you feel your heart ache.

“No one’s dying,” Michelle replies. When Peter shoots her an inquisitive look, she adds, “Y/N thinks she’s going to perish if she doesn’t find someone to hug.”

You scowl at MJ, biting the inside of your cheek as you try not to let the embarrassment show on your face. It’s one thing to have this conversation with MJ - your close friend and number one confidant - but Peter? It’s an entirely different story. He may be your best friend, but your feelings are far more than simply platonic when it comes to him.

“Oh…” Peter looks at you curiously, his eager eyes darting over your face. He leans his elbows on the table and rests his chin in his hands, looking utterly adorable with his face pulled into a cute smile. His grin widens as you meet his gaze, and he nods knowingly. “Hugs are nice.”

You nod in appreciative agreement. “Exactly!”

MJ just rolls her eyes. “You guys are so weird.”

Ned joins the table and begins talking to MJ about a chemistry project, and Peter turns to you properly.

“Hey, so, are we still on for that study session later?” He asks you, his teeth briefly gliding across his lower lip. You try not to focus too much on the curve of his mouth, but it’s very difficult.

“Um, yeah,” you squeak, feeling your cheeks heat up a little as you remember the arrangement you’d made with Peter earlier in the week. “Mine or yours?”

“Yours?” Peter suggests.

“Okay. My parents are still away on business, so it’ll just be us. Is that okay?”

Your friend nods his head, his fluffy brown curls shifting around his face. “Sounds great.” Peter gives you a nervous smile, and it sets your heart racing. “I can’t wait.”

-----

Peter turns up a little after 7pm, a box of pizza in his hands. You spend a while chatting and watching Star Wars, and then eventually pull yourselves around to studying. You opt for your bedroom, with its very comfortable fluffy carpet, and you spread out all of your notebooks and pens around you before lying on your stomach and lazily flicking through your notes. But you can’t quite focus because something is amiss.

Peter is acting very oddly tonight. And he’s normally a little hyperactive, but it’s as if he’s on another level entirely. He keeps glancing up to you, then looking away the moment you bring your eyes up to meet his, and he hasn’t stopped drumming his fingers over the front of his maths textbook all night. You’re already nervous enough being around him, alone and within such close proximity to him, and his antics aren’t helping you at all.

You might have a teeny tiny crush on Peter Parker. Possibly. But you’d never tell him that.

“Pete,” you say, reaching breaking point when you catch him staring at your face for the fifth time in one minute. You sit up and turn to look at him, meeting his guilty, rose-tinted face. “What’s going on? You seem so unsettled. Are you okay?”

Peter opens and closes his mouth a few times, his eyes meeting yours nervously. His voice is more a squeak than anything else as he says, suddenly, “Do you want to cuddle me?”

You blink, totally blindsided by the change in topic.

“Uh, cuddle you?”

“Um, I mean, sorry, that’s such a weird thing to just come out and say, I- I just remembered earlier, with MJ, what she was saying, and I was wondering if you’d want to hug me, if you- if you want a hug so badly.” Peter breaks off, a disgruntled groan coming up his throat as he buries his flushed face in his hands. “I’m sorry, Y/N, shit, that was such a weird thing to ask. Can we just pretend I never said anything?”

You chuckle, your lips pulling into a wide smile. “You would let me hug you?” You ask gently. Peter parts his fingers and looks at you through the gaps, nodding slightly. “I’d like that, Peter.”

He looks so shocked by your statement that it brings another quiet laugh from your mouth. “O-Okay.” Peter clumsily opens his arms. “Um, here?”

It’s painfully awkward at first. He’s sitting at the foot of your bed, his back resting up against the mattress, so you have to do a weird sort of crawl over to him, feeling his wide, anxious eyes pressing onto your figure the whole way. It doesn’t help that you’re practically shaking from nerves now.

You’ve known Peter since the start of high school, but you’ve not really hugged him before. The most you’ve shared is a brief celebratory high-five after acing a biology presentation together, and even that contact had lingered in your mind for days after. The concept of crawling up to and hugging your crush makes your palms sweaty and your mind a numb anxious mess, but you do it, because it’s Peter, and the opportunity to cuddle up next to him is so enticing you think you’d do anything just to feel his arms around your body.

The angle is difficult, but Peter spreads his legs out across the carpet and pats his thighs, and you realise he wants you to straddle his lap, so you clamber into his hold gently. He’s sturdy beneath you, with a pair of dark denim jeans stretched over his firm thighs, and he’s quick to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you in. You let your hands find his sides, and then you settle into a very close, very intimate hug with your best friend.

It’s lovely.

He smells of soft bubbles and peppermint, and you bury your face in the crook of his neck, partly because it’s comfortable, but mostly because you don’t want him to see the massive, embarrassing grin fixed to your mouth. Your heartbeat’s going crazy - you can feel it pressing against your ribs almost painfully, and it only doubles in speed as Peter’s hands move slowly across your back, rubbing large, soothing circles over your hoodie. You savour the moment, your eyes closed as you enjoy just being held by your best friend.

“Is this okay?” Peter asks, after a few moments.

You hum against his neck, squeezing his torso softly. He’s wearing one of Midtown’s navy hoodies, and it feels particularly soft against your forehead. “Thanks, Pete,” you mumble, enjoying the moment entirely too much. “You’re really good at hugs, you know that?”

“You’re also a very nice hugger,” Peter replies. You swallow deeply as you feel him tighten his grip on your sides and pull you even closer.

“Sometimes it’s just nice to be held,” you find yourself saying. You’re starting to feel really comfortable now, and find yourself relaxing and shifting further into him.

“Definitely.” His voice is still ringing at a higher pitch than you’re used to, but you put it down to the late evening hour. “Um, Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“If you, uh, ever need another hug, you can always text me.”

You’re so glad you have your face buried in Peter’s warm neck because the grin latched to your lips is so large you think you’d die from embarrassment if your friend could see how giddy his words make you feel.

“Okay,” you say. “Thanks, Pete.” You pause for a moment, and take stock of the way he seems to be clinging to you just as tightly as you are to him. “You can always text me too, if you ever want a hug. Or anything, really.” You manage to collapse your smile so it’s more of a weak grin, and you pull back to look at Peter. His hands fall down to loosely grasp at your hips, and you find him looking at you with warm, attentive eyes and a wide smile hanging from his pink lips.

He looks so cute, and relaxed, and perfect, and you really can’t believe your luck that you’re sitting holed up in his arms just now.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he mumbles shyly, eyes flittering across every part of your face. “You’re a great friend.”

You deserve an Oscar for maintaining the smile on your face, despite the way his words stab painfully at your heart.

“You too, Pete,” you mutter. “The best friend ever.”

The air between you holds just a little too much tension, so you shift and push your face back into his shoulder, hugging him again. Peter’s arms tighten around your waist, and you sigh softly, revelling in rare the feeling of him so close to you, even if it isn’t under the circumstances you crave. You’d take anything Peter could offer you, even if it makes your heart ache.

------

It easily becomes a habit.

Soon enough, it’s been three months, and you’re spending almost every evening with Peter. The more you meet up, the more natural folding into his arms becomes, and soon you find that your favourite parts of the day are the moments you share curled up together.

Sharing affection with Peter is easy, but it comes at a cost - it ties your heart up in knots to spend so much time pressed up against his chest, acting so intimately with him, but then to pull back and go back about your day like nothing really happened. Every second you spend hugging him hurts you because your heart yearns so deeply to have more, but you just can’t bring yourself to tell him how you feel. You value your friendship with Peter too much to risk ruining it all because of a stupid crush, and you’re not ready to stop your evening shenanigans, so you decide to just put up with it and suffer in silence.

A few months into your arrangement, you find yourself at Peter’s when the power across the city goes out in the middle of a thunderstorm.

“Holy shit,” you mutter, shivering as you glance outside and see a flash of sharp lightning cut across the city. The rain pelts down against the pavements so loudly that you can hear it through the gap in the window. You turn and look at Peter, wide-eyed. “Bet you’re glad the Stark internship let you leave earlier than usual today. I’m not looking forward to walking back in that later.”

“Y/N, you can’t go home in the middle of a thunderstorm, especially if the power is out,” Peter tells you firmly, his arms crossing over his chest. He looks so cute with his eyebrows scrunched into a caring scowl that you can’t stop yourself from smiling. “Stay here tonight. May’s out of town, but I can sleep on the sofa. I don’t want you to go across the city by yourself at the moment.”

You bite your lower lip, eyeing the slants of rain that pour over Queens. “It does look pretty horrible out there,” you admit. Your expression shifts into guilt as you eye Peter closely. “You can’t sleep on the sofa, though. I will.”

“No, I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

“Peter, it’s your apartment, I’m not about to kick you out of your own bed.”

“Then join me.”

“In your bed? With you?”

“Yes.” Peter’s face is a bright red as he flusters, “Um, only if you’re comfortable with that though, Y/N. You don’t have to. I just thought that- because, y’know, we’re kinda… close now, you might want to. But you don’t-”

“I want to,” you say, the words tumbling out before you can think them through properly. You’re rendered utterly incapable of sensible thought, because Peter’s looking at you so intently that it whips the breath straight out of your lungs. “Really, Pete, that would be nice, if you’re sure you don’t mind..?”

“No! I want to,” he replies. Peter runs his delicate fingers through his brown waves, pushing his strands away from his face easily. His smile is gentle, and it grows as you return it shyly. “I’ll go get you some clothes.”

You make light conversation as you both get ready for bed together. Peter even finds you a spare toothbrush in the cabinet beneath the sink, and you pull faces at him in the mirror as you brush your teeth together side by side. It feels so domestic, but also incredibly comfortable and normal, and you decide that you feel more at home by Peter’s side than you do anywhere else in the world. You realise that maybe you’d just been deluding yourself each time you’d dismissed your feelings for him as simply a crush. Maybe, your feelings run a lot deeper for your friend - far deeper than you’d ever intended for them to grow. Because you realise, as Peter laughs loudly when you pull a face at him in the mirror, that your feelings for the boy have taken firm root in your heart, and you’re absolutely fucking in love with him.

“So, um, I normally sleep on the left side, but I can swap if you want that side,” Peter tells you. The power has finally come back on and the weather has cleared up, but neither of you comment on it as he closes his bedroom door behind you and gestures at his nice, gingham-patterned bedspread.

“I can go on the right side,” you offer.

Peter turns off the light and you both shuffle to your respective sides of his bed. You’ve been in his room a thousand times before, but you’ve never ventured beneath his lovely soft covers, and you find yourself sighing slightly as you shuffle beneath the duvet. His pillows are light and feathery, and your head sinks into them easily.

He seems intent to stay as far away from you as possible, and he clings to the far edge of the mattress. It brings a frown to your mouth, but you let him be; if that’s where he has to be in order to feel comfortable, then you’ll let him stay there. Just because you feel something else fluttering about in your heart for him, does not mean he feels the same way - even if you were sure he’d been hugging you a little closer, recently, and staring at your lips more than he used to. But maybe that was all in your head.

“Do you need anything?” Peter asks slowly. You stare up at his ceiling, your eyes taking in the dark curves of his smooth roof.

“No,” you reply. “Your bed is very comfortable.”

You hear the sheets ruffle as Peter slowly turns over. You fold over onto your side and find yourself facing him, his bright eyes twinkling slightly beneath the light that streams in from the city outside. He looks very cute, with the duvet bunched up beneath his chin and his fluffy hair all messy and waved out across his forehead, and it makes you happy to see him so relaxed and free. Sometimes it feels as though Peter carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, and you’d give anything to see him gentle and carefree like this. It makes you feel a surge of pride to know you can give him just a little bit of peace.

“Yeah, I dunno where May got the mattress but it’s amazing.” Peter breaks off, shifting around a little, and you freeze up when you feel his hand brush against yours beneath the covers. “Oh, uh, sorry,” he mutters, immediately jerking his hand back. You can just about make out the dark flush of his cheeks.

“‘S okay,” you murmur, biting your lower lip. A beat passes, and then you add, “We hug all the time, Peter. You can touch me, y’know.”

He takes it as an invitation, and he tenderly reaches out. His warm hand finds the curve of your waist, and you stay remarkably still as he slowly shuffles a little closer.

“Is this okay?” Peter whispers into the air.

“Yeah.”

Finally you unstick, your heart beating rapidly in your chest. You shift towards him, as if magnetised, and your hand goes up to rest on his side, too. His t-shirt feels soft beneath your hold, and you find your mind reeling as you take in his warmth, his scent, his touch.

Peter’s face is very near you now. Your legs are tangled together. Your head shifts onto his pillow, and suddenly he’s holding you flush against him, your noses almost touching.

“Y/N,” he says slowly. His eyes are wide and nervous, and they keep dipping down to settle on the curve of your lips.

“Pete,” you respond, your voice fragile. You can hardly keep still, for how nervous you’re feeling now. He’s pulled you right against him, and for the first time, you question whether your feelings are actually one sided. His warm fingers burn against your side, tracing delicate circles over the material of your borrowed shirt. “You’re really close.”

“Do you want me to move?” You’ve never heard him like this before: all warm, and gentle, and inviting. It ignites a whirlwind of butterflies inside your chest, and you really can’t stop yourself from saying, quietly,

“I want you to kiss me.”

Peter’s lips are on yours before you know it. Soft, at first, and a little bit bumpy and awkward. But he loosens up as you reach up and wrap your fingers around his hair, and you kiss him back with all that you have. Peter pulls you closer as you kiss him deeply, savouring the feeling of his warm, pillowy lips and enjoying the way your heart blooms in your chest as your best friend kisses you back. He releases a small noise of enjoyment into your mouth as you nibble over his bottom lip, and then he’s pushing his tongue into your mouth, and you’re making out, your figures lazily intertwined.

It feels so right to be kissing Peter that you briefly wonder why you’ve never tried this out before.

“I, um, I really like you, Y/N,” Peter whispers against you, when you finally pull back. Your lips tingle as you giggle into the air, your fingertips trailing through the soft strands of his chestnut hair. “In fact, I… I’ve been in love with you for months.”

Your mouth runs dry, and all you can really do to stop the tears of relief from slipping out of your eyes is lean in and kiss him again, hard. You kiss him like you’ve been dreaming about for months: slowly, passionately and lovingly - growing in tempo as you fervently try to convey everything you’ve kept hidden away inside your heart.

When you break away, you keep your lips nuzzled against his and breathe out a deep, “I love you too, Peter.”

You giggle together, and you feel so overcome with adoration for the boy that you simply have to kiss him again.

“D’you want to go on a date with me?” Peter asks gently, between gaps in your soft kisses. You finally move away from his lips and settle nearer, your forehead finding his chest as his arms encircle your waist and he holds you close in a warm, consuming cuddle.

“I would love to go on a date with you, Peter,” you mumble against his front. You smile softly as you feel his lips trail across your forehead, and your heart stirs happily in your chest.

“Okay,” he says, sounding immediately relieved. “I’m excited.”

You hum sleepily into his chest, your fingers curling around his strong back. “Me too,” you mumble.

“Night night, Y/N,” he says, his voice already being carried away as you drift further into dreamland. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Pete,” you reply. You know nothing else will compare to the feeling of being holed up in your best friends arms, with his lips scattering a dusting of kisses across your forehead, and you try to cling desperately to every single moment and sensation. “Sweet dreams.”

Peter leaves a final kiss on your forehead, and then you drift off to sleep with him, your figures entangled, and, for the first time, your hearts beating together as one.

------------

any feedback?

masterlist

[aetheternity]

I'll admit it's exciting. (Armin x reader)

Synopsis: Being your professor's dirty little secret. His pet.. Sounded too good to refuse.

Warning: Smut in the later chapters! 18+ only

"Good girl.." Your lip tucked itself beneath your tooth. Spine tingling at the intoxicating scent surrounding you.

You coaxed a breath off your lips as the almost inaudible creak of the desk under your professors weight made you sit up straight. His arms locking you in place.

You looked into his soft blue eyes feeling a tinge of entrapment at the way he had you locked in.

"Do you understand now?" His surprisingly large hands caressed your shoulder.

"Y-yeah." If you could see your own face you'd probably be embarrassed but you were currently helpless to the tiny bits of touch he allowed you.

Your elbows pushed you up just a little bit closer to his chest. His touch disappearing too soon.

"I think you'll be ready for the test in a couple days." And suddenly every bit of him was walking away and back to sit at his desk. "You should still study though. This stuff has been difficult for you."

~~~~

"Y/N."

The tip of your nail stayed fidgeting between your lips.

"Y/N."

Words flew through your brain but it all continued to just be flushed straight out again.

"Y/N!" The book flew from your grasp landing with a clatter that attracted glances from all angles.

"Are you alright Y/N?" Eren asked, concern etched into his deep sapphire eyes.

You let out a harsh exhale. "I was, until Sasha stopped my heart." You held a palm up to your chest, glaring over at Sasha.

Mikasa blinked boredom sunk into her features. Her cheeks forced into the palms of her hands as her elbows stayed firmly planted into the table. "New class?"

You nodded, shutting your binder before promptly flipping it open again.

"You'll be fine." She muttered, staring at you with her own version of concern.

"How can you say that? I had to transfer from a different class a month after the semester already started. You know how much stuff I've already missed! Not to mention I had originally thought this class was gonna be next semester me's problem." With a groan you let your head flop harshly onto the mildly sticky table in front of you.

"I think what Mikasa was trying to suggest was that Mr. Arlert has always been said to be a very gentle and caring professor." Sasha said

"You can always take office hours if you really have a hard time." Eren suggested

"Thanks Eren, but I think you're forgetting that I hate doing anything outside of class that won't immediately get me a passing grade."

Eren just shrugged, moving to stuff his notebooks into his own bag. All of them genuinely looking as though he'd just reused them from high school. Each one with a rip in the first page or the spiral unraveling.

"Welp it's 2:00." Sasha reminded you. And you groaned so loud you could practically feel the stares from other tables touching your soul.

"Maybe I'll fall down the stairs and break my ankle before I get up there." You slung your bag onto your shoulder hanging your head as you walked off.

"I'll have your favorite donuts in my room after you get out!" Sasha called

"You should've started with that!"

You made the walk so much longer by dragging your feet up every stair individually and rubbing a finger to your temple. So much so that it surprised you when you walked into the classroom and no one was in there except..

"Oh hello."

Hot..

So so very hot..

His smile sparkled only futher brightened by his deep blue eyes. His short blond hair parted slightly over his forehead. His blue button up was cuffed up against his forearms revealing a very slender but still fairly muscular set of hands. He probably had a nice chest too.

"You must be Y/N." He chuckled and before you could reassociate he was giving you a whole new list of things to think about as he bent over his desk to retrieve a piece of paper.

"Here's the syllabus. You're starting kinda late so it will be helpful to you to come to office hours. My office hours are at the bottom here." When he reached forward to point his scent caught you by surprise. A sweet almost fruit like smell wafted up your nose. "I hope you'll catch on quickly. Sit wherever you'd like."

His remark barely registered in your mind, your mouth hung open immediately slamming shut as the class quickly began to fill.

Before you could get swept up by the people flooding into the room you made your way to the front plopping down into the seat closest to the window. When you looked up again from where you'd yanked your binder almost haphazardly out of your bag, you caught the quickest wink you'd ever seen in your entire life.

Or maybe it was your imagination.

But the way he leaned a little closer when he approached you wasn't.

"Front row? Good choice."

Regardless of the heart problems he'd recently caused you he was moving on. Quickly silencing the class and starting the lesson.

Hot.

The only thought racing through your head.

Hot. Hot. Hot..

He was pretty! When he turned off the light his eyes didn't dull in the almost blinding way in which they shone. His hair fluttered over his forehead and ears and his shirt seemed to hug his chest tighter every time he reached up to turn off the projector or even just to reach a high spot on the board.

You already knew everything from today was going in one ear and out the other but it was really hard to give a damn when your professor's pants cupped his ass they way they did. His dark shoes clicked across the floor and-

"Do you understand any of it? I know it's your first day."

You blinked up at him hoping your eyes weren't as wide as they felt or that you weren't popping your mouth open and close like a suffocating fish.

He smiled, flipping the paper on the desk around till it faced him. "Can I?" He reached for the tip of your pen and as you let it go your fingers brushed in probably the strongest current of static that had ever touched your body.

"Don't worry ok this is just a practice test I wanna see what you know." He said, leaving a couple marks on the paper. He then pointed to the two empty test questions. "Don't leave anything blank ok."

This time when he walked away you were without a doubt certain he'd winked. When you looked down at your paper again you could see 3 checks on the paper in the light blue ink you were using and a little smiley face in the corner.

Your chest honestly had no right fluttering the way it did over something so trivial.

The class was only an hour and forty minutes but when it was over you felt like you'd only been seated there for ten minutes. When you handed the test paper back he sent you one final wink that made your knees buckle.

"See you next time." He said and you had to forcibly stop yourself from shuttering.

You half speed walked half ran out of there as soon as his classroom door had shut behind you. All the way to Sasha's dorm room.

You slammed it open already knowing Sasha only kept it locked when she wasn't in there. Your chest was heaving and you held onto the door frame for support. Noticing the immediate and visible flinch from Eren and Sasha.

"He's. Hot!!" You gasped for air before walking in and sinking to the floor in front of Sasha. She didn't budge as you fell against her shoulder just wrapped an arm around your shoulders hugging your back. "Oh god he's so hot.." You breathed into Sasha's collarbone.

"Looks like she did learn something." Eren muttered

"No! You don't understand he's like so pretty!"

Mikasa didn't even try to hide the way she rolled her eyes and Eren just sighed.

"Aww you've got a crush on your professor that's adorable." Sasha said, reaching into the box next to her, grabbing your favorite donut she pushed it into your open mouth pulling it back slightly to allow you to chew.

You sobbed a little before sighing and falling back into Sasha's neck. "What the hell am I gonna do?" You sighed

"Focus on passing the class is probably the first step." Eren replied

"Now you're just being silly." You replied, rubbing your fingers into the floor.

Sasha brought the donut back up to your lips smiling as you took another bite. "I wanna see him now! Isn't he the really young professor? Like he's supposedly only twenty five as of recently and got hired less than a year ago."

"Yeah.." You quickly put your password into your phone, turning the screen so Sasha could see.

Mikasa and Eren scooted closer as Sasha took a closer look. "He is pretty." Mikasa was the first to speak.

"Why do you just have his picture pulled up? How're you already being creepy?" Eren questioned

You scoffed, "I just happened to be looking on Instagram during a quick bathroom trip.. and I just so happened to look for him.. it's his fault for making it easy." You snatched the donut from Sasha taking a bigger bite.

"Yeah no I agree with Eren this is cree- AW HE HAS A DOG!" Sasha snatched the phone zooming in on the puppy in his lap.

"Actually it's his family's dog. Her name's Pumpkin and he goes home as often as possible to see her. A small two hour train ride to be exact." You sigh briefly "I've never really liked Terriers as a dog breed but that one's so cute.."

"Is the dog cute or is it the guy holding her?" Mikasa questioned with a little smirk.

"Not helping Mikasa.." Eren interjected "What are you even thinking? No matter if you like professor Arlert or not he has to keep it professional and so do you."

"Eren, look at the puppy." You took your phone from Sasha turning the screen back to face him.

He glanced down at the image then back into your eyes with a raised eyebrow.

"Puppy!"

"Creepy!" He pressed the power button on your phone and you deflated against Sasha's legs letting your phone turn over onto its face.

"I'll never understand why you don't go for a degree in hacking or something the way you always manage to pull up information on people." Mikasa shook her head.

"Probably going to be stuck with more math classes for one and secondly when I become a supervillain I don't need everyone knowing it was apart of my major." You replied, with an exaggerated eye roll.

Sasha shrugged, "If it was your major I'm pretty sure everyone would understand your descent into madness."

"I can't believe you just said that.." Eren groaned, squeezing the bridge of his nose.

"Me or her?" You asked

"Yes!"

~~~~

Thursday came too soon. Or maybe you should say, finally Thursday is here! You jumped back and forth between the two but by the time you slid into the honestly uncomfortable classroom seat and placed your bag between your legs you knew exactly what you felt.

"Professor!" A female's voice caught your attention and you turned slightly to see a short brown haired girl running into the classroom.

"You were right about what I was missing! Once I applied what we talked about in office hours it became so simple."

"That's what I like to hear Petra." He winked as he flipped through a stack of papers on his desk.

Wait, had he always done that to all the students or had you just not noticed last time? You felt your shoulders hunch but they were instantly picking back up again as he slid a piece of paper onto your desk.

"You did pretty well on that practice test. Seems like you'll be up to speed in no time." He smiled, a deep warm smile that made your stomach squeeze.

Your lips curled upwards and you quickly moved to hide it behind your paper as he walked away.

"You too huh?"

You felt your skin practically vibrate but you hoped and prayed it wasn't too noticeable.

"Wh-what?" You glanced over at the girl Petra who sat only one desk away from you. Her features flat and her eyes dark in the middle an almost scary contrast from earlier.

"You're into him too?" She muttered

Was it that obvious? Stupid question. How could you be so obvious?

"I don't think you'll win out." She continued and before you could question it, she pointed to the back row.

It seemed almost like a tussle as Mr. Arlert was being held hostage by another young female holding his hand. He smiled mildly awkwardly as he spoke with her, nodding his head to everything her and the other girls surrounding her said. The first girl running a thumb over the back of his hand.

You felt your skin prickle and you exhaled loudly. "So.. I'm guessing you too.."

Petra blinked at you then quickly shifted around in her seat. Mr. Arlert quickly approached the front of the room clapping to get the classes attention. And with that the lesson was beginning.

You noticed from the clap at the beginning of class to the last word uttered that not one word in Mr. Arlert's lesson had actually registered in your mind. Your thoughts too full of Petra's words, her blank almost villainous expression as she'd talked.

And that girl's hand. That annoying girl in the back row. You peeked your head back there looking at the now empty chair. In fact the entire classroom was empty and had been for at least 15 minutes since you continued to struggle with stuffing your binder back into your apparently shrunken bag.

"Need help?"

You bit your lip and looked away as he came closer. You weren't really standing up straight but you immediately noticed the way he towered over you. His fingers so delicate in the way they brushed over yours sliding the irritating object into the confines of your bag.

"Thank you.." You whispered

He chuckled, "No problem, happy to help."

His eyes didn't leave yours for an almost uncomfortable amount of time so you shifted your feet backing away a little. He seemed to notice and placed a hand on the back of his neck, backing up himself.

Oh no. Now he was getting uncomfortable.

He made his way back over to his desk but not before you'd slipped in something to ease the tension. "Sorry for over staying my welcome.."

He let out a soft chuckle. "You're not bothering me plus there are no classes in here for two hours after mine on Thursday. You can stay as long as you'd like."

"O-oh." You face palmed internally at your stupid reply. "So.." You began again. "Do you mind if I asked you how you're such a young professor.."

His eyes flickered up from the work he'd been filling out. "Well, I skipped a couple grades and I was in college by 15. I'm actually still in college now but I was an assistant teacher at 18 for about three years for a high school a couple blocks from here before I became a full fledged teacher and then I worked at the same school as a teacher for three more years before I finally left and started teaching here."

It should've been obvious from the start that he'd worked tireless hours of school to get here at such a young age. Not to mention probably having worked just as hard in the gym. He'd only leaned back a little bit in his chair but it was enough for you to have a perfect mental image.

Your eyes flicked up to his much softer more.. Arlert like smile? Maybe? It just felt like the kind of smile he'd give a friend and less like the smile he used in the classroom. Not that that one felt fake, just.. different.

"Do you.. I mean.. have you always had girls?.." His eyebrows scrunched as you spoke. You pointed to the back of the classroom. "You're young I mean, do girls always touch you like that?"

He blinked up at the ceiling then back down to you. Your breath hitched as he pulled himself up from the desk walking closer to you.

"As soon as they find out I'm not that much older than them? Yeah."

You probably should've stopped but your brain was suddenly working independently. "Does it?.. Do you like that kind of attention?"

He sat down on the desk crossing his arms over his chest and his leg over his knee. He spoke his head. "Not normally no."

"Normally?"

He stood again but this time he stopped directly in front of you. Sharp blue eyes cold and yet warm and vibrant. The desk creaked under your weight as you leaned back into it. His hands at your sides, his breath tickling your upper lip.

His thumb came up to graze your cheek but was quickly removed and planted back on the desk. "Can I kiss you?"

You nodded way too eagerly and-

So so so much softer than you'd even thought imaginable. His nose rubbed against yours and he was pulling away. Too soon.

You grabbed the back of his neck, yanking him back to you. Immediately delighted by the warm touch of his pretty pink lips.

He pulled back and you yanked him forward. Over and over again with soft peppered kisses. And then one slightly longer one where he was comfortably mushing his lips against yours.

[allisondraste]

Death and Other Things That Should Have Been Fatal

Fandom: Mass Effect

Pairing: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian

Word Count: 4715

Summary: A follow up to Cockroaches and Other Things That Just Keep Living, Shepard wakes up after destroying the Reapers and copes with the fallout. Thankfully, she doesn't have to do so alone.

[Click Here for AO3]

“Shepard?”

The voice was little more than static in her ear, jarring her back into excruciating consciousness, head throbbing, extremities numb.  Spears of pain coursed through her chest with each and every breath, and she didn’t know whether it was the several broken ribs or the sight of Anderson's lifeless body slouched next to her.  She tore her gaze away from the closest thing she’d ever had to a good father figure, eyes fluttering closed as she attempted to focus only on the person speaking to her.

“Garrus?”  His was the first name that rolled off her tongue, the only person in the galaxy she wanted that disembodied voice to be.

“No.” Came the stern reply.  There was a long pause as any hope for comfort in her final moments came crashing down around her.  Then the voice spoke again. “It’s Hackett.”

A jolt of resentment toward the Admiral coursed through her at his introduction.  What more could he possibly want from her?  Had she not already done enough, sacrificed enough for just a ghost of a chance to stop the reapers.  Surely someone else could take it from there.  Why did everything fall on her?

Because someone else would have gotten it wrong.

She shook herself out of her head and back to the present. She would have been mortified under normal circumstances, but she couldn’t bring herself to give a damn now. “I apologize sir, I’m— What do you need me to do?”

“The Crucible is docked, but is not activated,” he explained, “We think there’s something that needs to be done on your end.  Is there a trigger? Some sort of terminal?”

His words clung to the air around her, and her eyes locked onto the terminal the Illusive Man had used earlier.  It was just a few feet in front of her and still so far away. She tried and failed to bring herself to her feet, legs buckling beneath her and sending her plummeting to the floor.  Hot tears burned in her eyes as a new array of pain shot through her body, and she groaned in agony.

“Shepard?”

“I’m here, sir,” she growled, forcing herself up onto an elbow and dragging her body to the terminal, vision beginning to blur at the corners.. Not yet , she pleaded with her consciousness as she reached up toward the terminal, hand sweeping clumsily across the haptic display. Not. Yet.   “I’m at the terminal but I… I don’t— I can’t find—”

Her vision went dark, supporting arm trembling and giving out as her consciousness faded.  Hackett’s voice called out to her repeatedly, further and further away until it was gone entirely.

She awoke to bright, burning light, buzzing in her ears, sensations anyone else would have associated with death.  But Shepard had been dead before, and this was nothing like the last time.  She’d never forget that dark, quiet empty.

“Shepard,” shouted a voice, both familiar and foreign, “Wake up.”

“What?” Blood dripped into her eyes from a wound she couldn’t feel. “Where am I?”

She scrubbed her face with the back of her hand, blinking until her vision cleared.  Her body screamed in protest as she rose to her knees, louder still as she brought herself to her feet and searched for who—or what— had spoken to her.

“The Citadel,” came the reply, “It is my home.”

She snapped her head in the direction of the voice, it’s owner a glowing, translucent entity in the shape of a ghost.  Her heart slammed against her aching ribs, and a name rushed to her mouth before she could stop it. “Kaidan?”

The entity examined her for a moment that felt more like an eternity, long enough for her initial relief to fade, consumed by dread as she awaited its answer.

“No,” it stated in a cold, matter-of-fact way Kaidan could never have managed, “I am the Catalyst.”

Rage ignited in her stomach and chest at the sound of him twisted and distorted by a chorus of synthetic echoes, and she growled. “I thought the Citadel was the Catalyst.”

“The Citadel is part of me,” it explained, then paused, tilting its head in examination of her again, “My appearance disturbs you.”

Shepard let out a derisive snort. “Yeah. You could say that.”

“I apologize,” it said, “I chose a form that I believed would help us communicate. You had fond memories of this one.”

“Too fond.”  She looked down, unable to meet its vacant eyes. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

“Is this one more suitable?”  It’s voice shifted registers and when she glanced up Thane stood before her.

Hot tears burned in her eyes but she held them back and shook her head. “No.”

“Perhaps you would prefer this?” This time it’s tone was higher pitched, clipped.  Mordin.

“No,” she spat through clenched teeth, “I’d prefer if you’d just pick a nightmare and tell me whether you can help me or not. ”

“Very well,” it said, Kaidan once again as it motioned for her to follow after it toward the beam of light before them. “Perhaps we can help each other.”

She limped after it, listening as it spoke, as it explained its creation, it’s function, the purpose for its very existence.  It was nothing the Leviathan had not already revealed to her, but spun in a way that painted the Reapers as innocent pawns simply fulfilling their duty, wiping out entire civilizations to ensure galactic balance, to protect organic life from its own chaos.

Bullshit , she thought as flashes of destruction played behind her eyelids with each laborious blink.  She remembered the sinking void in her gut as she fled Earth, watching it burn beneath Reaper hands.  She thought of Palaven, the harrowed Turian faces as their military and government collapsed, the anger and disbelief that vibrated in Garrus’ voice and beneath his skin. She recalled Thessia, the most advanced civilization in the galaxy reduced to rubble before her eyes and she, helpless to even salvage one artifact, Liara’s anguished sobs as she trembled in her arms.

The Catalyst and its Reapers were responsible for every lost colony in Batarian space that Shepard had shouldered instead.  Every single face on the memorial wall at the Citadel, every orphaned child and refugee, every life touched by this goddamn war, and the lives of those in every cycle that came before— it was all their fault.  They had corrupted and indoctrinated some of the greatest minds of her time, broken some of the strongest wills.  She wondered what had been said to convince Saren and Benezia. What had the Catalyst become to take hold of The Illusive Man?

The echoes of Sovereign’s boasts of supremacy and Harbinger’s threats of annihilation rang out in her ears as clear as the days they’d been spoken. And this entity, this artificial intelligence with the power and capability to stop it all, expected her to believe they were simply creatures bound to a purpose. The Catalyst truly believed she would help it achieve its pinnacle of evolution.

No, just because it was in a shark’s nature to eat her, did not mean she would allow it to do so. Despite the original intent behind their creations, the Reapers were monsters, and they had to be stopped. The galaxy deserved justice. She took one lumbering step toward the trigger on the right, one step closer to settling things once and for all.

“It will happen again,” the Catalyst called after her, “Machines will be rebuilt, and chaos will continue. Organics and synthetics cannot coexist separately.

“That’s…not true,” she grunted, and took another step, “The geth and the quarians have brokered peace.”

“It will not last.”

“You don’t know that,” she shouted, fists clenched at her sides, “The beauty of chaos is that you can’t know that.”

The entity fell silent, briefly considering what she said, then continued. “Perhaps not; however if you choose to destroy the Reapers, the geth will be destroyed as well. The two will not have the opportunity to disprove your hypothesis.”

A pang of guilt pierced her and she halted in her tracks.“All of them?”

“Yes.  The Crucible’s beam is powerful but unfocused.  It will be unable to distinguish between Reaper technology and other forms of synthetic life.”

Another pang of guilt as realization dawned on her. That meant EDI would die, too. Someone who was every bit a friend and member of her crew as anyone else, someone who had put herself on the line multiple times to protect Shepard, to make certain she could get the job done.  EDI, who confessed just before the battle that she finally felt alive. Now, Shepard was forced to weigh her newfound life and the newfound intelligence of the geth race, against the destruction of the Reapers.

What was it Garrus had called it? Ruthless calculus, that brutal math that awaited anyone who spent enough time at war.  Shepard had done plenty of those calculations, had made more than her fair share of difficult decisions, and she’d dealt with the consequences, good and bad.

This time, it was different, more final.  And she was entirely alone.  The future of the galaxy lay upon her weary back, and she was far past the point of compromise.

Shepard wanted the Reapers to pay for what they had done for millennia, wanted to watch them disintegrate in space as the cheers of her fleet rang out over the comms.  She wanted to know with certainty that the war was over.

More than anything, however, and most heavy on her mind,  she wanted to survive. It was a potent wave of selfishness that overwhelmed her as she thought of her friends back on the Normandy, of the relationships she’d forged and that had forged her.  Her heart ached at the thought of never seeing them again, never hearing their voices. She was sick at the possibility that her last moments with those who had carried her through every storm were hurried and spent in a war torn camp on Earth.

Knowing that they were worried and waiting for her to return, remembering Garrus’ desperate plea that she come back alive, it was more than she needed to motivate her to do so.  For the first time in her three decades of life, she had something to go home to. She had given so much of herself to save the galaxy, and she had more than earned the right to live in it.

There was no certainty that destroying the Reapers would ensure her survival, but it was the only choice without the certainty that she would die.  She was willing to take her chances. She had to. With a trembling arm she raised her pistol, aimed at the glass case guarding the trigger mechanism, and fired.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as the glass shattered and her vision faded to white. “I’m so sorry.”

Shepard had been dead enough times to know that sound always came first, the discomforting beeping of medical equipment and garbled chatter ringing out in the darkness as her nervous system attempted to orient itself. Smell and taste came next, a package deal.  This time the antiseptic and the metallic tang of blood barely masked the rank of burnt flesh.

Then the pain set in, dull but constant and everywhere, numbed only slightly by neural blockers and local anesthetic.  She did not need to see her injuries to know how serious they were, how fatal they should have been.  Yet there she lay, once again waking up from something that would have killed anyone else.

And she was alone.  Again.

She began to panic as her eyes opened to the empty, sterile room, setting off the many monitors she was hooked up to.  Her heart pounded violently, each breath she took sharp and shallow as she yanked herself free from the dozens of tubes and IVs constraining her. How long had she been out this time? What covert operation for which secret, extremist organization had found and resurrected her for their benefit? How much more could one galaxy ask of her?

There was a hiss of opening doors and an unfamiliar asari entered the room urgently, arms extended out in front of her.  In one breath she reassured Shepard that everything was going to be all right  and in the next called for a medical restraint, a sedative.  She stepped slowly toward Shepard as one would approach a frightened, feral animal, and two more uniformed aliens entered the room.  Shepard stood tall, despite the ache in her bones and glared at the three of them.

“Ma’am, I know you must be very disoriented right now, and I am happy to answer any and all of your questions,” the asari said, holding her hands up, “But you are in no shape to be out of bed.  I need you to calm down before you hurt yourself further.”

Shepard glanced from the asari to the two salarians on either side of her.  They all wore generic attire that was standard for medical professionals across the galaxy, but their uniforms had no indication of their names or who they worked for.  She crossed her arms and winced through the pain as she argued. “How about you start by telling me where I am, then I’ll decide if I want to calm down or not.”

Just as she finished speaking the doors opened again, this time to faces she knew, and the subsequent wave of relief that washed over her nearly knocked her back into the bed on it’s own.  On the right stood Dr. Michel, who she remembered helping out on several occasions during the Reaper War.  A bit sweet on Garrus, if she remembered correctly. On the left, wearing a smirk and a raised eyebrow, was none other than Miranda Lawson.

“Sit down, Shepard,” Miranda asserted in her trademark tone.  She flashed the hint of a smile and continued, “The residents aren’t being paid enough for you to harass them.”

Shepard’s eyes flicked over to the three aliens who’d been tending to her just moments before.  They were now speaking nervously with the doctor, who muttered something about tests they needed to run followed by some other medical jargon that Shepard couldn’t decipher.  She did as her friend directed and eased herself back down onto her bed, offering a sheepish grin as she did so. “I feel like such an ass.”

“Don’t,” Dr. Michel chimed in as she approached the bed, and began to scan Shepard with her omni-tool, “You have been in a coma for almost a month.  It was expected that you would be agitated when you awoke, especially considering everything you’ve been through.”

Shepard’s chest swelled with something like gratitude.  A month .  She’d only been out for a month, and she had woken up in what she could now tell was Huerta Memorial under the care of a physician she trusted and one of her closest friends.  This was nothing like the last time she died. She looked up at Miranda and asked,“Had to put me back together again, I see?”

“I only helped this time,” Miranda explained as she worked to reconnect some of the IVs Shepard had ripped out, “Dr. Michel contacted me a few weeks ago for a consultation about your cybernetic augmentation.  I was already on the Citadel, so I came in person to oversee the repairs.”

“Is everything working?”

“Mostly,” Miranda shrugged, “Not quite up to specifications, but your injuries are still healing. With time, you should be fine.”

“And hopefully far away from any more life-threatening battles, yes,” remarked Michel, moving to a terminal near the wall and transferring data collected from her omni-tool scans.

Shepard let out a huff, and let herself recline onto the bed, walls crumbling away at the comforting conversation.  She took a breath and let her eyes flutter closed for just a minute, and said, “If I can. If the galaxy will let me.”

“The galaxy’s going to have to,” announced an unmistakable voice from the door, and Shepard bolted upright to face it.  To face him .

She hadn’t even heard the door open, and yet there stood her turian, with all that easy confidence he’d always carried himself with and a bouquet of indistinguishable gift shop flowers in each hand.  Her pulse jumped, a fact the vitals monitor in the corner was quick to inform her and everyone in the room about. She would never live that one down.

“Garrus!”

“Is that cardiac arrest—“ he motioned toward the screen with one of the bouquets— “Or, uh… are you just happy to see me?”

Shepard just rolled her eyes, unable to stop the grin that twitched at the corners of her mouth as he sauntered up to the bedside.

“I wasn’t sure which you’d like better,” Garrus explained, glancing with uncertainty between the flowers in each hand, “So I got both.  There’s also some chocolate and a few books of hanar poetry back at the gift shop if you just absolutely hate the flowers. I can run back down and—“

She laughed and shook her head at him. “They’re perfect.”

“Are you sure?” He examined each bouquet again.  “You might need the poetry to bore you back into a coma.”

“I thought that anthology was quite beautiful and romantic, myself,” Michel remarked, amused.  She approached Shepard again and administered something that relieved the throbbing pain in her head she’d barely noticed in all the commotion. “There, that should keep you comfortable for a time. I will come and check on you in a  few hours ”

“I’ll be going as well,” Miranda said, eyeing Shepard and Garrus knowingly. “Call me if you need anything.”

She turned to follow the doctor out of the room but stopped and looked over her shoulder. “Oh, and Shepard?  I’m glad we got to see each other again “

Shepard nodded. “So am I.”

With that Miranda left the room, the door sliding shut behind her.  Shepard turned her gaze up to Garrus who was already looking at her, pale eyes scanning every inch of her face intently.  His mandibles twitched and flared in the very specific way they always did when he was agitated or worried.  He shook his head, discarded both bundles of flowers onto the nearby bedside table, and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her, staring off at the wall in silence.

“Shepard I— I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up,” he said finally, turning to look at her and placing a hand on her leg, “I’d just gone to get some air…I didn’t want you to be alone.”

“It’s okay,” she reassured him, reaching for his hand and wondering just how many sleepless hours he’d sat by her bed waiting for her to come to. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers, lingering there for several long moments.  She brought a hand up to trace the rough ridges of scarring along the right side of his face.  His eyes fluttered closed at the touch, and he let out a heavy sigh, as if she’d lifted some invisible weight off of him with just the tips of her fingers.

“You know,” she spoke up, breaking the powerful silence between them, “I think I finally have some scars that’ll give you a run for your credits.”

Garrus laughed, but it was quiet—almost sad— and he pulled back to examine her.

“How bad is it,” she asked, “There aren’t any mirrors in here.”

He laughed again, this time with more enthusiasm. “Hell, Shepard, I don’t know. You always were ugly, so it’s hard for me to say.”

“Okay,” she admitted with a smirk, “I had that one coming.”

The room went quiet again, with the exception of the buzzing and whirring of the equipment around them.  It wasn’t uncomfortable, though— nothing had ever been uncomfortable with Garrus— but it was heavy with unspoken pain and unasked questions for which Shepard wasn’t sure she wanted answers.

“How’s everyone else,” she ventured.

“Recovering,” he answered with a sigh, “Joker tried to outrun the blast, but even the Normandy wasn’t quick enough.  Crash landed on some human colony world. Everyone made it except—“

“EDI,” she said, name bitter on her tongue. She’d hoped the catalyst had been lying about the Crucible’s effect on synthetic life.

“Yes… how did you—“

This time, she was not able to dam up the wave of emotions that crashed into her.  Tears rushed to her eyes, shame and remorse tightening her chest like a vice. She was a soldier, and she knew that sacrifices won wars, but that did not make it any easier.

“It’s a long story,” she said with a sniff, looking away from him and attempting to wipe away the tears before he could see them, as if he hadn’t already.

“Well—” Garrus reached out and grabbed her chin, gently, giving it a tug until she brought her gaze back to him. “It’s a good thing I cleared my afternoon schedule, then. Tell me everything.”

And so she did. With a shaky voice, she recounted everything that happened from the time she called the evac for Garrus and Liara to the moment she was struck by the Crucible’s blast.  She told him about The Illusive Man, Anderson, the Catalyst who wore Kaidan’s face, and the impossible choice she was given.  He listened to every word, offered her his hand, and didn’t complain as her grip grew tighter and tighter with each devastating revelation.

When she was finished, eyes swollen and head throbbing, she looked at him and said, “I fucked up, Garrus. I had a chance to save EDI and the geth, but I just… couldn’t do it.  I was so angry and… scared , and—“

“Shepard,” Garrus interrupted her, laughing and shaking his head.

“What?”

“You’re about the only person I know who could save the whole damn galaxy and feel guilty because you didn’t save it better.”

“My life isn’t worth more than EDI’s was, and it definitely isn’t more important than the entire geth race,” Shepard argued.

Garrus blinked back at her a few times, then responded.  “It is to me.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but the words didn’t come, so she clamped it shut and frowned.  Her entire argument fell apart in the wake of his blunt confession. How the hell was she supposed to respond to something like that?

“It was selfish,” she finally managed past the lump in her throat, “It was genocide.”

“Maybe,” he answered, firmly, “Maybe not. We have no way of knowing that anything the Catalyst told you was true.”

“Why would it lie?”

“I don’t know, maybe to save it’s own ass?”  His words were pointed but not directed to her.  “It was clearly trying to get in your head, Shepard, using Alenko like that.”

“But—”

“No,” he snapped, “You made the right call, and no one is going to fault you for it except you.”

“ Garrus …” she began, but trailed off when she noticed him looking down at their intertwined fingers, shaking his head and seeming to struggle with his emotions.

When he spoke up, his voice was hoarse.  “You’ll forgive me if I say I don’t think you owe anyone—not EDI, not the geth, not the Alliance, not the rest of the galaxy— any more than you’ve already given.”

He paused for a beat, then added in a lighter tone, “Except me. You owe me a long retirement on your fancy Alliance pension.”

Shepard snorted out a laugh, despite everything, and reached up to take his face in her hands.  She pulled him closer to her, just so that she could press a kiss against the side of his mouth.

“I’ll think about it,” she whispered.

Just as they pulled apart, the door opened and they both turned to see who had entered. Dr. Michel stood at the threshold smiling at them apologetically.  “I am sorry for the interruption, but—”

“Someone tell Garrus to quit hogging the Commander,” complained an all too familiar voice as he pushed past the doctor and into the room. “The rest of us have been waiting just as long as he has.”

“Joker,” Shepard exclaimed, nearly jumping up out of the bed to greet him.

“The one and only,” he said proudly then held up a small plastic crate to show her, “And I brought you something.  Basically had to wrestle the Alliance brass for it when they declared you dead.”

“What—,” she asked as she squinted at the box, noticing movement in the corner, “Is that my hamster?”

He sat the container down carefully on the table next to the flowers Garrus had tossed aside,  “It’s not two bouquets of useless flowers or anything, but, well…you know.”

“We can’t all be as romantic as you,” Garrus said sarcastically as he stood up and stepped away from the bed, allowing the other man space to approach Shepard.

“Thank you, Joker,” Shepard said with a nod as she sat up in the bed, “And about EDI, I—“

He cut her off with the shake of his head, clearly not ready to discuss it. “Not your fault, Commander.”

Shepard just nodded, sorry, but not wanting to force the issue.  Joker puffed his chest out and saluted her, just as more commotion rang out from the door.  She darted her eyes across the room again to see the flood of other people pouring in from the hallway.

Ash was the first to rush to the bedside, throwing appropriate Alliance protocol out the window as she threw her arms unceremoniously around Shepard.  The embrace was firm, but not so forceful that it caused her aching body any extra pain, and when Ash pulled away, Shepard could see the tears glistening in her eyes. She stiffened up and saluted just as Joker had done, and said “Ma’am.”

Much to Shepard’s surprise, Ash then approached Garrus and embraced him briefly as well, pulling away and then giving him a pat on the arm.

The others followed suit after that, offering words of gratitude that she had saved the galaxy, and relief that she’d managed to pull through.  Tali and Liara had followed Ash’s example and hugged her.  The others didn’t but greeted her with enthusiasm all the same.  Vega mentioned how “epic” it was when the fleet realized she’d made it to the Citadel and got the arms opened while Traynor and Cortez nodded along.  Javik, in his typical fashion stood quietly in the corner but nodded at her with a look of admiration she had yet to see from the Prothean.  Dr. Chakwas and the crew from engineering squeezed themselves in the now cramped space as well. Chakwas approached the bed and gave Shepard’s hand a firm squeeze.

Humbling was not a strong enough word to describe the experience of seeing everyone who’d been on the Normandy with her in that final journey to Earth gathered around celebrating her survival.  They had all meant so much to her, and only now did she realize that she’d meant the same to them.

She’d grown accustomed to being a sole survivor, watching her own back and carrying on alone with each of her mistakes strapped to her shoulders.  She was used to blaming herself with the voices of those she lost, of nightmares and flashbacks and consoling herself back to sleep in the middle of the night.  She had trained herself to be numb because she could not bear feeling guilty.

Now, she didn’t have to.  For the first time in as long as she could remember, she had people who cared about her, people who she trusted, and they had survived. For the first time, she wasn’t alone with her grief and she didn’t have to be numb.  She had friends who would hold her together while she sorted herself out, just as she had done for each and every one of them.

“You okay,” Garrus asked as he approached the bedside again, letting a hand tousle her hair gently before falling to her shoulder.

“Yeah.” She nodded and glanced around the room slowly, taking it all in. “I really actually am.”

[nerdzzone]

Only For A Moment: September

Summary: A series of shorter one shots from Chris and Whitney’s life together throughout the pandemic. Some happy times, some harder times, some fluff and some things a little more sexy - they work through it all as they try to get settled in their new and blossoming relationship.

Chris Evans x OFC

Part of the Once Bitten/More Hearts series

Only For A Moment: August

Note: I really liked writing this part so please let me know your thoughts!

-----

September 2020

Before the pandemic hit, we'd planned to send Grayson to preschool in the fall after he turned three. However, with the state of the world when the time arrived, it became a more complicated decision. We knew the benefits - we knew it would give him the opportunity to make friends and jumpstart his learning - but after many long, anxiety filled discussions, we decided to keep him home for another year. We didn't need it for childcare as neither of us had any work on the horizon and he still had another year before kindergarten so he wouldn't be missing out on preschool education completely. The risks just seemed to outweigh the benefits at that point in time given the case numbers in our area.

But not everyone had such an easy choice to make. People with older children had to educate them somehow - whether that be in person or online. In person classes had a much higher risk of exposure to the virus, but online classes were harder for children to focus on and required much more participation from the parents.

Carly had made the difficult choice to keep her kids at home and continue their online education, but it was proving to be harder than she'd anticipated. The kids were tired of learning through a computer and they missed their friends. Despite the risk of in person learning, they wanted to go back to school and were dragging their heels when it came to doing their work at home.

They started in August and by the middle of September, Carly was quickly losing her patience with all three of her children and, after a tearful phone call from his sister, Chris and I agreed to take them for an afternoon. They had some homework that we had to make sure they did, but Chris' goal was more related to sending them home with a renewed appreciation for their parents and a promise to keep working hard.

He'd picked them up just after lunch and given them a stern - but understanding - talking to on the way over to our place, but once they arrived he was back to being fun Uncle Chris and started their afternoon of school with gym class in the form of a soccer game. He ran them around the yard for over an hour before they wrapped up the game and came in for a snack. Then, the real school work started.

"So," Chris clapped. "What homework does everyone have?"

"Math..."

Ethan wrinkled his nose in disgust as he answered and his siblings nodded their heads in agreement.

"Well, it's your lucky day!" Chris grinned. "Whitney happens to be a math whiz! She went to university to be an accountant."

It was hard not to laugh at the disgust on their faces and I was tempted to inform them of the fact that I had dropped out just to retain my status as their uncle's 'cool' girlfriend. I thought that information might not help inspire them to work though so I kept it to myself.

"Why did you do that?" Miles questioned. "That's so boring!"

"It doesn't have to be," I insisted. "Chris, why don't you take Gray to do a puzzle or something and we'll get this work out of the way?"

"Sure," Chris nodded, plucking Grayson off the stool he was sitting on and throwing the giggling child over his shoulder. "And remember, the faster the homework gets done, the faster we can get back to doing fun stuff!"

I waited until Chris had left the room before shooting a smile at the little students that I was left with.

"Okay, now that he's gone, I can show you the secret to making math fun," I told them, stretching up to grab a big jar of jelly beans from the top shelf of a cupboard. It was Chris' secret stash, but I was sure he wouldn't be too mad if I borrowed it. "You just need to find some motivation."

The kid's eyes went wide.

"Are those Uncle Chris'?" Ethan asked, a hint of wonder in his voice.

"Yep," I smiled. "So, let's hurry and get to work before he comes back and catches us."

I shot them a wink and they all scurried off to get their notebooks.

-

It was easier to incorporate the candy into Miles and Stella's math homework as in the younger grades, they were mostly doing addition and subtraction. I helped them use the jelly beans as counters and let them eat them after every few questions. For Ethan, it was a bit trickier. In sixth grade, he was getting more into the start of algebra and some harder level fractions which jelly beans were less useful in. Instead, we used them as motivation and he got to eat a couple of jelly beans for every row of questions he finished.

We almost got away with our jelly bean thievery, but just as the kids were packing up their books, I heard a gasp come from the doorway.

"Are those my jelly beans?!"

The kids all burst out laughing as I shot Chris a sheepish look.

"I'm sorry. They needed some encouragement..."

Chris shook his head, but the smile on his face told me that he wasn't really that upset.

"I trusted you," he scolded me. "Now I'll have to find a new hiding spot and you won't be informed of its whereabouts."

I pouted at that as Grayson scrambled up onto the stool beside me to get his hands in the candy before it was moved.

"You could just be nice and share," I pointed out. "Making them forbidden just makes them more tempting."

"Yeah, Uncle Chris," Ethan nodded in agreement. "Plus, you're always telling us that we have to share stuff."

"You're getting too smart, kid," Chris smiled at him. "But unfortunately for you, I'm still in charge which means you have to do as I say, not as I do."

Ethan rolled his eyes at that as Stella frowned.

"That's not fair!"

"That's life," Chris shrugged. "Now, who's going to help me make some dinner?"

Grayson and Stella threw their hands up in the air as I popped another jelly bean into my mouth.

"What are we having?"

"Pasketti!" Grayson enthusiastically informed me, earning a laugh from Chris as he ruffled his hair.

"Spaghetti," he clarified. "With Ma's recipe for the sauce."

"Ooh, yum!"

I stole one last jelly bean before putting the lid back on the jar. The kids all whined in protest, but if Chris was making dinner then I knew it was time for me to stop stuffing them with sugar.

We all stayed in the kitchen as Chris started getting things ready, giving the kids simple jobs to do like opening jars and the occasional stirring. Dinner was about halfway ready when Miles got a cheeky smirk on his face.

"Uncle Chris?" He questioned, getting Chris' attention. "Aren't you going to sing the spaghetti song?"

That piqued my interest and I raised an eyebrow at Chris whose cheeks were slightly pinker than they'd been moments before.

"What's the spaghetti song?"

"On Top of Spaghetti," Chris informed me as if I should know what he was talking about. I didn't and my face must have shown him that. "C'mon! You have to know it!"

"I can't say that I do," I shrugged. "You'll have to enlighten me."

"Daddy sings it every time we have pasketti!" Grayson informed me, still mispronouncing the word.

"Well, I think I need to learn it then," I smiled. "Go on, Chris. Let's hear it."

The kids all agreed with me, hassling him to start the song.

"Alright, alright," he agreed after a moment of resistance. His cheeks were still looking a little rosy with embarrassment as he took a deep breath and then began. "On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese. I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed..."

I watched - filled with an almost overwhelming sense of affection for him - as he sang through all the verses of the song. The kids joined in where they could and all of them were giggling by the time he was done.

"Again, again!"

Grayson started the chant, but they all joined in and with a smirk, I did too.

"Yes, Chris! Again, again!" I teased. "So I can film it for Instagram!"

"Ha-ha," Chris laughed sarcastically. "You're so funny, Whitney. There will be no filming of this performance."

"But just think how much your fans would love it," I smiled. "You'd melt the hearts of women all over the world."

Chris let out a laugh at that comment, but didn't have time to respond before the kids took over again, demanding another performance. Once he was sure that my phone was safely out of reach, he launched into another round of song.

-

By the time dinner was done and the kids were all settled in front of the TV watching a movie, my heart was feeling rather full. Seeing Chris with all the children and enjoying the afternoon of a house full of their joy and laughter had me feeling things I hadn't been entirely sure I was ready to contemplate yet.

As I sat at the island in the kitchen, sipping my second glass of wine as Chris finished loading the dishwasher, I broached the subject.

"Today has been really nice," I told him, my voice catching his attention in the quiet room. "Having a house full of kids."

That thought clearly gripped his interest as he spun around to face me, still drying his hands.

"Yeah?" The excitement in his voice was palpable. "We haven't talked about that, have we? Do you want more kids?"

"I do," I smiled at his overzealous reaction. "At least one more. I'd like Grayson to have a sibling. It seems lonely to make him grow up all alone."

"It does," he agreed. "I can't imagine growing up without siblings."

"What about you?" I asked. "I mean, I know you've mentioned in interviews that you want a big family, but is that real? Or just for the family man image that your fans love so much?"

Chris chuckled and shrugged, but there was something sheepish about the way he was looking at me.

"Honestly?" He paused as if waiting for a response, but it seemed unnecessary. We both knew I wouldn't want anything other than the truth in a moment like this. "I want at least two more, maybe even three. Hell, I'd have another one right now if you were willing."

I almost choked on the wine I was sipping as those words left his mouth, but as I placed my glass safely back on the counter, the coughing shifted into laughter.

"We can't have another one now," I protested. "We've only been together for like four months!"

"Five," he corrected with a soft smile. "And we were only together for one night before we had Gray and I think he's turned out alright."

He was right about that and I would have been lying if I said that the thought of another little baby didn't stir something inside me, but the more rational side of me came through.

"We can't just rush into another baby," I insisted. "I appreciate your enthusiasm, but that's a big decision."

"I know it is," Chris assured me. "I'm half-kidding. I know it's not something we can rush into, but another part of me thinks it would be nice to have one now while we've got nothing else going on."

"That's true, but this pandemic won't last forever," I pointed out. "Even if you got me pregnant right now, you'll hopefully be working again before it would even be born. I'm not sure I could deal with Grayson and a newborn all by myself."

"Yeah, but some experts think this mess is gonna last for a few years still which would make this the perfect time to have a baby."

I shot him a look and he shrugged with a smirk.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," I warned him. "Let's just see how this whole pandemic situation goes for a bit longer before we make any massive life plans."

"Alright, alright," Chris chuckled, coming around to my side of the island. He rested his chin on my shoulder and slid his arms around my waist, placing his hands on my stomach. "It would be nice though, wouldn't it? Having another little baby around. Another little mix of the two of us."

I could feel his breath on my neck as his voice was low in my ear and I had to admit that he was right. I was one of the lucky women who actually loved being pregnant and, despite how exhausting and stressful the newborn phase was, I did miss having a little baby around.

But my worries about our ability to co-parent if we split up were still lingering in my mind. They'd been eased slightly by how solid our relationship had been so far, but if it all fell apart, I was still worried about how we would cope. Adding another baby to that so soon seemed like a foolish thing to do.

"It would be nice," I agreed, letting my hands rest on top of his. "It will be nice, one day."

"Well, whenever you're ready," Chris paused to place a kiss on my neck. "Just let me know."

I smiled at his eagerness and turned my head to kiss his cheek.

"I will," I assured him. "And maybe, once the kids have gone home and Grayson's in bed, we could practice. Just so we know what we're doing when the time comes..."

"Oh, I know what I'm doing," Chris practically growled, his grip tightening around me to pull me closer against him. "Don't you worry about that."

I giggled at his confidence before wiggling out of his grasp and standing up from the stool I'd been sitting on.

"I'm not worried, but practice makes perfect, right?"

With a wink, I grabbed my wine and turned to leave the room and check on the kids. Our conversation had given me plenty to think about, but it was comforting as well. I had no doubts that one day I wanted to expand our little family and even if I wasn't quite ready yet, it was nice to know that Chris was on board.

The man was born to be a father, he excelled in every aspect of parenting, and I was grateful that I was the one who got to help him find that role and that I got to share the experience with him.

-

October + November [part one]

Tags:  @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @zaylaugh @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10 @partypoison00 @theladybiers @sidepieces @firoozehmoon @patzammit @sparkledfirecracker @mytbel0st @chvntelle-99

[yoichichi]

To Call You Mine

college!tsuki x reader series

Ch. 2 - ew, small talk

warning(s): Tsukishima’s behavior 😐

a/n: I’m happy you guys seemed to really enjoy the introductory chapter!! I hope you enjoy this one just as much, and more tsuki content!! Ahhh I’d love to hear your thoughts per usual, and enjoy !! <3

ch. 1

“So, why d-“

“Thanks for-“

Oh my god.

At this point you’d rather have a failing grade than have to keep talking to this guy.

Maybe it was just the fact you’ve felt like you’ve made a fool of yourself about 59 million times, but you were officially over it.

Tsuki leaned back into his chair with that same smirk he gave you earlier, raised eyebrows and all. You’re starting to wonder if that’s maybe just how his face rests.

“No no, go ahead. You first.” His voice was quiet and monotone, very appropriate for the setting, not so much for your nerves.

The way he held himself was, interesting. You know it’s only been maybe 5 minutes since you’ve met which is most definitely not enough time to start making any kind of assumptions about a person, but with the air around him so tense and serious, how could you not?

You could see his legs were just slightly spread in his seat, as far as it would allow it. And instead of doing the casual thing and resting his head in his hand while he waited for you to speak, it was tilted just slightly upward. Chin just barely jutting out at you, head leaning to the left just a tad. His forearms rested on the arms of the chair rather than the table, too.

Everything about his body language said, go on, I’m waiting for you to answer me. Rather than, go ahead, I’m listening.

It made your nerves congregate in your throat and made it difficult for you to speak.

He does not need to be making me this nervous.

You fiddled with the clicker of your pen as you began to speak, doing your best to keep your nervous fidgeting to a minimum. There should be no reason he should have such a knack for making you feel this way, he’s a random guy who takes your same calculus class. Regardless of the way he seems to carry himself, he’s nothing more than that. Some guy.

Besides, he probably wasn’t doing it on purpose. He just has one of those, faces.

“I was just gonna say thanks for agreeing to help me out. Even if it is so early.” You chuckled lightly and brought your hands up to rest on the top of the table.

Enough fidgeting.

“You’re welcome.” Another monotone reply.

You smiled thinly as you waited for him to continue his sentence, cause surely he wasn’t done.

….

Really?

You sat in another few moments of silence while he sighed and looked down at the open pages of his textbook, unable to tell if he was being serious.

“Alright. Why don’t we start with talking about the last lesson you felt most confident in understanding, okay?”

He was being serious.

“Yeah, sure.” You sighed and took a glance down at your notes.

A long hour indeed.

—

It hasn’t even been 20 minutes, yet you’re already starting to get a better grasp on bits of the material you couldn’t even begin to comprehend just a few hours earlier. It certainly isn’t enough to be rid of a tutor, but enough to know you were referred to him for a reason.

Maybe his aloof attitude was worth it.

“Well, that explains why I couldn’t get the numbers to plug in right on that next weird step of the equation. And why it looked so funky when I tried to illustrate the graph. God, that’s a lot.” You stated matter of factly, dumbfounded at how easy he was making this all seem.

“Go ahead and try these other problems from the back of the book, and then we’ll go over what you get after. And if you get stuck just ask. I’m gonna work on some other homework in the meantime.”

His voice had more lilt to it now. Maybe it was because his own version of morning grogginess had warn off. Or he could’ve been just as nervous as you at first. Regardless, you appreciate he seems to be less stiff than when you first percieved him.

You nodded your head and immediately got to work. Having a sudden epiphany about the content was definitely a boost to your motivation to get it done.

He chuckled softly to himself at your eagerness and got started on his own work.

It was nice, actually.

The next few minutes were quiet, but they weren’t awkward. The pair of you having your own focus on the work at hand, merely keeping each other company at this point with the soft scribbles of pencil against paper. That was until you had a question of course.

You looked up to ask him a question but almost felt bad for interrupting him, you could tell he was really focused.

His head was turned downward slightly making his glasses slide farther down the bridge of his nose. His fingers, which you noticed were slightly scuffed up, looked like they were gripping his pen so delicately no matter how fast he was writing. Your eyes followed the trail from his hand up to his shoulder, past the tendons twitching in his forearms at each flick of his wrist, and past his lean yet distinctly toned bicep.

Your gaze stopped on his shoulder when his other hand reached over to squeeze at the apparently tender spot, watching him roll it a few times before he leaned back down to write some more.

His jaw seemed tight, maybe he was having a tough time with this particular class he was working on. Or maybe it was because he appeared to be sore from, something. Taking in his physique and condition of his hands, you decided it wouldn’t be surprising if a sport was what was straini-

“Are you stuck?”

Your eyes shot over just a bit to look directly at his face, realizing you were staring and he probably assumed you needed help, which technically you did.

He was looking up at you above the top of the frame of his glasses and through his eyelashes, eyes just slightly wider than usual as he waited for you to answer.

You had to admit, he was a pretty guy.

“Yeah, kinda. This integral just isn’t clicking for me, I don’t really know where to start.” You held your stare on his face as he leaned in closer to reach over and flip your notebook around, taking a peek at your work thus far.

He hummed almost silently to himself before he spoke up, realizing what was confusing you.

Hm, he smells kind of minty. But not toothpaste minty more like, organic clean minty. Or maybe that’s eucalyptus I’m smelling? I wonder if it’s a cologne or if he just showered before he got here. Jesus, how early would he have to get up to shower before he got here? Cause his hair wasn’t even wet when - well, was it? I could’ve mis-

“Make sense?”

You blinked once, hard, as you internally chastised yourself for being a bit of a creep as you sat analyzing his smell rather than listen to what he had to say.

Nodding your head you stared back down at your paper, contemplating how you were gonna pretend to do better with an equation you didn’t even know where to begin.

“Oh, thank you for agreeing to meet so early, by the way.”

His words caught you off guard as you looked up to see his nose still buried in his work, but his mouth moving.

“I have a team practice in a couple hours and I’m already tutoring someone else afterwards, and this was the only free time I had before your next class.” He looked up at you and offered the tiniest of smiles.

So he did do a sport.

“What do you play?” You asked, genuinely intrigued to know the answer.

His height definitely made him look like a basketball kind of guy, no, you’d know if he played basketball. Maybe soccer.

“Oh, I’m on the volleyball team.” His hand kept its steady pace at writing down notes in his notebook, not even sparing you a glance when he answered.

“Oh wow. How long have you been playing?” You rested your head in your hand, patiently waiting for his response. It was nice to talk about something besides math for a little bit.

“Mmm, I’ve been playing for a good amount of time. This is my first year on the team though, so not long with them I guess. Do you play any sports?” He set his pen down now, rolling his neck out with his eyes closed, leaning back in his chair and waiting for your response this time.

“No, I don’t. My boyfriend plays basketball, though.”

His eyes opened and locked onto yours for a brief moment before looking back down onto that god forbidden work. It was silent for just a second, an unexplainable tension quietly passing between the two of you, so fast you almost missed it, before you spoke up again.

“He’s a sophomore though, so, a little more familiar with his team you could say.” You smile fondly and let out a small chuckle, doing your best to keep the flow of the conversation going,

“He-“

“Hm, nice.” He let out a deep breath and gingerly placed a hand on your notebook, as if he was unaware he cut you off just now, and continued to speak.

Maybe this wasn’t the time for getting to know each other, then.

“Let’s take a look at what you’ve gotten done so far, yeah?”

—

It’s been three days since you last had your first meeting with Tsuki, you hadn’t seen each other since, and yet somehow he was still working you to pieces.

He’d text you around dinner time each day since then like clockwork, just one word:

- ‘Studying?’

- ‘Yes Tsukishima.’

- ‘Good job.’

And it’d be the same thing in the mornings:

- ‘Study guide treat you well?’

- ‘Lol yes Tsukishima. It was actually really helpful so ty :)’

- ‘👍🏼’

I mean, he hand made you study guides to use. And enough of them so that they would last you till he met back up with you on the following Sunday.

It was like he knew you’d feel bad if you didn’t use them and study. But you’d be lying if you said they weren’t helping. You were walking through the door to said class now, and actually feeling semi confident as you sat at your desk and pulled out your belongings, and you had Tsukishima to thank for that.

You noticed it was quiet today as you waited for class to start. October slump was definitely hitting your fellow peers hard, that and the weather. Even your professor was quiet as he walked in and prepared the lesson.

Feeling fatigued and bored yourself, you pulled your phone out to pass the time when you noticed you had a text from Tsukishima still sitting on your lockscreen. It must be pretty recent.

Hm, that’s odd.

Tsukishima

‘Good luck in class today. I hope it all makes a little more sense. :).’

…

A smiley face?

You shut your phone off quickly and shoved it back into your pocket, not particularly fond of the way your heart swelled just the slightest at the fact he texted you.

And remembered you had class today.

And texted you a smiley face at that.

Hm. Looks like he’s warming up to me.

————————

OKOK DONT YELL AT ME AKEKEKE I’m currently writing chapter 3 already ok 😭 i feel like this is kind of short but it just felt weird to do another transition for what I wanted to write rather than just doing a whole chapter and yeah - MIND UR BUSINESS OK I KNOW WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS. Anywayyysss Ahhhh I hope this fed yall well heheheh and you know I love your thoughts and stuff :3 !! MWAH

taglist for series: @plutowrites @c0rncheez @ruetaro @daniagabriela48 @toyas-wife @devilkou @anime-and-kpop-trash (if you’d like to be added or removed let me know!)

[writer-k-pop]

Study Dates - Vocal

Description: It’s finals week and you drag them to the library for a study date. Warnings: Swearing Genre: Fluff

Seventeen Masterlist | Masterlists

Jeonghan

You’re just finishing up the first assignment of the day, all-be-it a small one, when Jeonghan shows up (late). Sweatpants and an oversized shirt hangs from his body and drips with his desire to be back in his bed.

“You are going to pay for this.” Jeonghan mumbles and drops his backpack onto the table, causing a few people nearby to look over at the loud noise. 

You give him the sweetest smile and slowly shut your textbook, “But you’re grades are going to call me a god when the week’s over.” You prepare to dive into it because not even his good looks can distract you from your grades goal.

Scoffing and rolling his eyes, Jeonghan unceremoniously drops himself in the chair opposite you. “I highly doubt that.” He says and grudgingly drags his backpack into the empty chair next to him.

You pull out a notebook and opened your laptop to find the practice test your professor graciously gave out. “Take this practice test with me. Come on, you’ll be grateful for it later.”

Jeonghan crosses his arms over his chest and pouts while just starting at me. After a few seconds, he tosses his arms into the air, sits up properly, and then opens his backpack to pull out his school supplies. “Don’t expect me to be super focused like you are.”

You smile in satisfaction that A) you got him out of his bed and B) you got him studying. But he isn’t going to make it easy. He never does. And today is no different.

Halfway through the practice test, he’s drawing doodles in the margins of his notebook and then asks for your opinion on the doodles. 20 minutes later, when you’ve moved onto a different subject, he’s scrolling through his phone. And 15 minutes after that, he’s using his eraser as a hockey puck and his pens as hockey sticks to play a game of hockey that occasionally has the eraser interrupting your studying. Jeonghan giggles when you flick the eraser back at him.

“Come on, let’s just go back to my room.” Jeonghan bargains, resting his chin on the table and looking at you with pouty eyes, “I can lay in bed and you can study at my desk. It’s a win-win!” 

Joshua

“Do we need anything else?” Joshua looks around the table. You’ve set up your laptops, notebooks, pencil cases, and drinks according to your personal studying style, reading for the study session that’s about to commence. 

You shake your head, “Might need sustenance later, but we can deal with that when we get there.”

Joshua nods in agreement before he dives deep into his textbook and you do the same. 

A handful of minutes later, you find yourself mindlessly twirling your pen in your hands and staring at Joshua as he scratches his head and tries to read his professors awful handwriting. He feels your eyes on him and glances at you, catching you red handed.

“Already giving up?” Joshua questions and peers down at your notes.

“Distracted.” You correct with a smirk before lowering your gaze again.

When you both reach the subject you’re in class together for, you decide to quiz each other to find out what you each need to work on. 

“Okay, this one’s tricky.” You peer at the flashcard in your hands before flicking your eyes up at him.

Joshua breathes out in preparation for the “difficult” question and you wait a couple more seconds to show him the flashcard to add to the suspense. 

“Oh, would you just show me the card already.” Joshua whines with a laugh mixed in.

You laugh along and give up on keeping him in suspense. Showing him the card he reads the card, squints and reads the card, then tilts his head to the side and just stares at the flashcard. 

“Do you know it?” You question him.

Joshua puckers his lips and shakes his head, “I have no idea what it is.” 

Woozi/Jihoon

“I’m stealing your highlighter again.” Woozi says, more mumbles, as he reaches across the table for your green highlighter. 

“Uh huh.” You answer without words as you scroll down to another TikTok video. You are taking a break from studying with a well earned 5-minute-turned-into-20-minutes break. 

Woozi rolls the highlighter back over to your side and you decide you should at least try to get some work done on a group project before you completely give up the efforts to study. 

“What’s another word for ‘change’?” You ask Woozi as you proofread another group member’s section of the project.

“Why?” Woozi looks up at you in confusion.

“Because this person used ‘change’ like 600 times and it feels very very redundant.” You explain, “Like I feel like we could make this a drinking game. Something like take a chug every time the word ‘change’ appears.”

“We’d get drunk.” Woozi states the obvious and raises an eyebrow at you.

You point a finger at him with a knowing smile, “Exactly.”

“Oh gosh.” Woozi squeezes his eyes shut and giggles. “You’re already thinking about drinking? Finals week hasn’t even started yet.”

“It feels like it started months ago.” You joke with an eye roll, “I’ve been prepared for the post semester drunkness for AGES.”

Woozi shakes his head and turns the page in his notebook, “Adjust, modify, switch, revise. Uh...” He trails off in thought.

“What?” You ask, wondering why he’s saying random words.

“Synonyms for change.” Woozi reiterates your earlier request. “Oh, differ. And that’s all I got.” 

“Oh, right. Thank you.” You quickly jot down the words in the margin of your notebook. “You still sure we can’t make this a drinking game?”

Dokyeom/Seokmin

The math problem staring up at you without giving you any hints at what the answer could be or how to solve for the answer. It’s like it’s mocking you with its numbers and letters gathered in that one particular spot on the screen. 

“Curse you math.” You grumble and open to a fresh page to restart your attempt at solving the problem. 

“What problem are you on?” Dokyeom asks and leans over the table to peer at your laptop.

“This one.” You turn the screen so he can get a better look. 

“Ooooh, yeahhhhh.” Dokyeom drags out the words as if he’s thinking about how he solved them. Then he pops his lips, “Yeah, I haven’t gotten to that one yet.”

You muffle a chuckle and turn the screen back to face you, “Thanks, Kyeomie.” 

“Did you try starting with the theorem we learned last week?” He offers a suggestion while you busy yourself with the nth attempt of solving it.

“Yeah, I did, but it just led me in a circle over and over again.” You tell him, “Didn’t work.”

“Hmm.” Dokyeom leans his chin in his hand in thought but you pay no attention to him. That is until he clears his throat to force your attention to him.

You flicker your eyes upwards for a second before double taking and a laugh bubbles in your throat. “What-?”

“I’ve got my thinking glasses on.” Dokyeom states seriously with three pairs of glasses sitting on his face. 

“Where’d you get all those anyway?” You ask, laughing at his simple antics.

“One of them is mine, one is Minghao’s that he left in my bag, and the last pair are yours.” He explains and your hands fly to your face. No wonder your eyes were starting to feel tired. You’d been staring at your screen without your blue light glasses on. And now they are on Dokyeom’s face, assisting him in thinking.

Seungkwan

“Pencils?” “Check. Laptop AND chargers?” “Check. Notebooks?” “Check.”

“Fuzzy noise canceling headphones?” Seungkwan lists off the next item and pulls just that out of his bag.

“Fuzzy noi- what?” You look up from your backpack and see the headphones in Seungkwan’s hands. “Why do you need those?”

“It’s finals week, and I need to focus.” He waves the headphones at you, “And since SOMEONE made me come to the library, I need these so I don’t get distracted from the noise.”

You widen your eyes and go back to organizing your study supplies, “Oh-kay.” You definitely didn’t find this weird... at all....

“Judge all you want.” Seungkwan says, a-matter-a-factly, “These babies work wonders.”

You give him a half hearted nod and start your studying. He follows suit and places his earbuds on before settling the fuzzy headphones over his ears. Throughout your study session, friends of yours come up to you two and have small chats. And each time, Seungkwan is forced to take off his fuzzy headphones to be apart of the conversations with his friends.

By the 20th time, Seungkwan is annoyed and you can read the annoyance on his face like it’s a kindergartener’s book. Your friend bids you goodbye before leaving the table side and then Seungkwan lets out a sighed groan.

“How are those headphones working out for you?” You ask, trying to stifle a laugh.

“They’re working fantastic when I have them on. I just wished people would stop coming up to me.” Seungkwan whines, “I mean what part of fuzzy pink noise cancelling headphones says ‘please come talk to me while my head in buried in my notes’?” 

You smirk and joke, “I’m guessing it’s the little eyelids and eyelashes stitched onto them.” You nod towards the sides and his lips twitch in distaste at your joke.

[fallingappleshurt]

At least I’d be of use

Me posting actual writing two days in a row?? Yeah don’t expect this ever again

This is a sadish Drabble I did and it’s just brrrr and reallly bad and BRBRBRBRRBRBR

This takes place in my DFF AU, it’s spunky and I wanted to write Ansgt ya know even if I’m bad at it

Anyways here we go, also this is half inspired by the song Boreas by The Oh Hellos

At least I’d be of use

Tommy was laying on the floor, neglecting his homework. He knew that he should at least start on it but he couldn’t focus, everything was distracting him today, the mice in the alley, the neighbors fighting above them, the chilly wind that pierced through his thin jacket and uniform.

He was racking his brain for ideas, any ideas, he wanted to do something useful, help out in some way. Grumbling to himself, homework didn’t help out the family but for some reason he still had to do it.

In another attempt he rolled over and opened his backpack, pulling out the math worksheet, the numbers and symbols swirled and scrambled around in his brain. Why did he have to learn this? It won’t help him in real life, neither Wilbur or Techno knew super complicated reading or math or science or anything like that and they were okay- Phil even admitted that he didn’t use that stuff in his job and he was a doctor! If he didn’t need that kind of math as a doctor then why did Tommy need it?

Then he finally had an idea.He pushed the paper away and sat up,Wilbur and Phil were still out but Techno was sitting on the couch, reading a book, at least he was when Tommy got home.

Stepping out of his and Wilbur’s room, Tommy jumped on the couch next to Techno, who’s eyes flickered up briefly.

“Teach me how to fight.” Tommy said, sitting on his knees, Techno didn’t even look up.

“No. You’re a child.”

“I’m serious, I want to learn how to fight so I can do those duels like you do.” Tommy said, staring at Techno. Techno closed his book and looked Tommy in the eyes, “How do you know about those?”

“I’m just incredibly observant,” Tommy said, almost matter-of-factly, Techno raised an eyebrow, staring him down.

“I figured out bits and pieces and then bugged Wilbur until he slipped up,” He confessed, not ashamedly, Techno sighed and rubbed his temples, he stayed like that for a few moments, considering his options.

“I’m not teaching you how to fight-”

“Come on!” He just wanted to help out.

“Let me finish, I’ll show you self defense tactics and self defense tactics only, under a few conditions; you cannot tell anyone about the duels, under any circumstances-”

“Why?” Tommy interrupted, Techno groaned, “Come on! Tell me or I’ll tell Tubbo!”

“Don’t even joke about that,” Techno said sharply, he paused, voice softening, “You can’t tell anyone about them because,” he licked his lips nervously, “They are technically illegal.”

“Oh,” Tommy deflated slightly, he chuckled lightly, then laughed a little louder, “Oh, Oh! They are illegal! I thought you were gonna say something about murder!”

“I’m ignoring that,” Techno said, “Listen, you cannot tell anyone about the duels and don’t go around showing off the defense moves, they are strictly for defense only-”

“What if I show them off anyways?” Tommy teased, biting his tongue through a grin, Techno rolled his eyes fondly.

“Then you better be ready to use them,” He cracked his knuckles, Tommy laughed nervously, he would never admit it but he found Techno to be a little scary. Red eyes, lean muscles, and scars that he never explained, Tommy knew he could do some serious damage and he hadn’t even seen him fight! Subconsciously Tommy also knew that Techno was a big nerd that got invested in weird books and cheesy radio shows but it took awhile to get to know that side of him.

The anxiety and frustration started seeping back into his skin, searing and shrinking it until it felt like he couldn’t breath.

“I want to go to the duels-”

“Absolutely not, the crowd is no place for a kid-”

“No, I want to fight in the duels, for money, like you do, I’m serious.” Techno looked at him and Tommy stared him down, mouth in a thin line.

“No.” Techno said firmly, red eyes piercing Tommy’s pale blue. Tommy’s chest felt tight.

“Come on Techno, school is useless, I could actually help out by doing them, it’d be better for everyone-”

“You can help out by staying in school,” Techno cut him off, “Enjoy your childhood, hang out with Tubbo, play, do whatever kids do, don’t worry about it, we’re doing just fine.” Techno waved his hand dismissively, opening his book back up.

Frustration wrapped its thick tendrils around his throat and made him want to scream, he wanted to blow up and yell and pull out his hair. They weren’t fine, he wasn’t stupid, he heard his older brothers talking in hushed desprate whispers. He had seen Phil sitting at the table late at night, papers scattered everywhere with his hands in his hair, trying to see if they could float another bill or if they could find cheaper options for dinner.

He saw the smaller portions the others had while his portions had gotten bigger, Techno claimed to not be hungry, Wilbur said he didn’t like the food, Phil just smiled and told him to eat it. He was growing, they said, he needed it.

Tommy felt like such a drain, going to school cost money, his uniform and books and bag cost money, everything he did cost money.

Money they didn’t have.

His chest hurt everytime he got something he could do without, like new shoes, the old ones had some holes and were scuffed but they worked just fine, he didn’t really need the new ones.

He was scared they’d get kicked out of their shitty apartment, scared everything they’d worked for would be gone, scared that one duel would go to far and Techno wouldn’t come home, that Wilbur would disappear like his parents did, that Phil wouldn’t take a break until he broke.

He feared they’d resent him.

All of the extra food and money spent on someone who made their lives more difficult,someone someone who didn’t help provide, on someone who drained their time with stupid questions and ideas, Someone who could barely pass his math class, someone like him.

He desperately wanted to feel useful, all his brothers provided something, Techno did the duels and chores, Phil was a doctor and got consistent pay and Wilbur had random odd jobs of some sort while Tommy did nothing.

He was a drain of resources.

But he couldn’t tell Techno that, he couldn’t tell any of them. He couldn’t speak or everything would burst out of him, instead he turned and went back to his room, going back to laying on the floor.

He put his math work back in his backpack.

Tommy was quiet for the rest of the night, only saying a few things about school at dinner, Phil tried to ask him about his day in a ditch effort to get him to talk but came up empty handed.

After dinner Tommy climbed the rusty latter on the side of their apartment building, then, jamming his feet in the grooves and cracks of the wall, just like he’d seen Phil do, he hosed himself onto the roof.

Standing on the cold brick he looked at the clear night sky. The moon was big and bright, casting icy light over the land, the wind was blowing so hard it threatened to knock him over so he sat down.

He wrapped his arms around himself, he wasn’t wearing a jacket. Suddenly his chest burned and everything came crashing down. Hot tears boiled in his eyes, stinging against the frigid wind.

He wanted to be useful, to help and provide for his brothers like they did him, he wanted Phil to be able to take a break, for Wilbur to have a better guitar, for Techno to not fight-

He wanted to not be a burden.

He burdened the people that had no reason to take him in, they’d resent him eventually, he knew it, and that thought alone caused him to choke on a sob.

He just wanted to be of use.

[cha0sfix]

Congruent Triangles aren’t Soulmates.

Pairing : Bucky x UnnamedSoulmate, mentions of Sam Wilson and OC characters.

Summary : Soulmateau. The first thing you hear your soulmate say, would be tattooed on your arm. Bucky has a strange mark and he’s about to meet his match. 

Warnings : Use of word ‘condom’ I guess? A few swear words? It’s just comedic fluff and chaotic happy Bucky

Its my first attempt at writing a pic - go easy on me. Haha.

Bucky Barnes, had the strangest soulmark among his friends. ‘My dude, Congruent Triangles aren’t soulmates’.

“What do you think it means stevie?” he asks, while picking out clothes to pack his bags. Steve just shrugged his shoulders. Math was the last thing on their minds. They had barely paid attention in class and life and crept upon them. They were young and ready for war. It was three more days before he left for his enlistment. Plus nobody talked like that in the 40s. But he had hope that he would come back and meet her someday.

This was when he was a young boy from Brooklyn and not when he was turned into weapon.

Present Day, Stark Tower

“Soulmates are hella hard to find. I mean it's the first thing you hear _them_ say. It doesn't even have to be to you.” the new recruit pouts at Sam. “Mine says - Gin, or vodka? Do you know how many people I have heard say that at parties? I am never going to find them.”

Sam laughs, “It’s okay, there is no hard and fast rule that you have to find them, choosing to love someone even if they’re not your soulmate is still considered noble, I never found mine and yet I am happy with my girlfriend. She knows who hers is, she just decided she doesn’t like him”.

“Mine’s probably long dead at this point, I just feel sad she didn’t get to choose if she wants to meet me or not,” says Bucky as he gets up to fetch coffee. “Also imagine saying something really stupid when you’re around your soulmate, and them having to have had carried that their whole life. Knowing me, they’d possibly hate me at all weird things I have said.”

“Don’t be sad Buck, only last week you exclaimed - Get them to stop throwing condoms at me, Sam out in public. I am sure if your soulmate was around she would have loved to carry that on her.”

“Oh yeah, damn.” Bucky laughs. “Anyway, I am going to the local library in a bit to catch up on a few books that I have missed over the years, it's been quite a while since I’ve got time to read, tell me if you want me to get you something when I’m coming back.”

“Nah, Buck, we’re good, see you later man”.

At the library.

Bucky, walks in and asks the librarian where the books he wanted are and proceeds to walk in the direction. The local library is quite small, and he decides it is comfy enough to spend the afternoon. There are tables in between sections for people to sit and read.

He walks to his shelf, and through it he sees two girls studying, he picks his books at sits at a table a little far from them. They were too busy bickering and enjoying over their books to notice Buck. He tries to not eavesdrop, but with super hearing it gets that much more difficult, because one, they were on a table right behind him and two one of them looks exactly like his type.

“Dude, everyone in our group has found their soulmate, I need to find mine before college ends or I am going to be single forever.” says taller of the two girls

‘Is everyone worried about their soulmates today?’, Bucky thinks to himself as he tries to focus on his page. He continues to read and zones out.

“You’ll find them. What’s your hurry? We have sessionals next week and you gotta focus my dude” says the other girl. She was cute, in her large green sweater and beanie, and she had been tapping the desk, possibly to a tune stuck in her head.

“Bro, if college ends, I will be an Msc in Math, nobody is dating a math major. Also nobody is meeting one considering that I will be preparing for Phd anyway. Look, even this damn triangle has a soulmate.”

She starts laughing, which distracts Bucky from his current paragraph.

“My dude, congruent triangles are not soulmates”

“Now that’s something I never thought I’d hear”

They both start laughing again.

Bucky closes his book violently. They start shushing at each other not wanting to disturb the man in front of them.

“Maybe we should get some coffee? It’s been a while. We’ll finish when we come back. I heard the macaroons in the cafeteria are good”, his soulmate’s friend whispers.

“Sounds good. Let’s get it and come”

Bucky, is now caught in a dilemma, anything weird he says, will definitely be tattooed on his soulmate’s arm. And he has no idea how to approach her.

“Should I approach her?” he thinks. “Would anyone want to meet their soulmate if they’re 106, an ex assassin and on possibly every country’s radar?. “But she also deserves to know that I exist and the fact that she exists, after these many years, does mean fate knew what it was doing, right?. He clenches his face.  “Gah. I can’t know any more details, without opening my mouth. I hate this” he curses under his breath.

The soulmate’s friend comes back with coffee, and he couldn’t see his soulmate. His heart sinks a little. She spots Bucky on her way back. She smiles.

“Hello, you’re the winter soldier, right? That is so cool. I am surprised we didn’t notice you the whole time we were sitting here.”

“Haha, no those days are over. It's just Bucky now. I don’t blame you though, I keep to myself, gotten pretty good at not being noticed” He smiled. It was safe for him to talk now.

“Maybe when my friend comes back with macaroons, you can make yourself visible. She is a fan you know. I think she just secretly likes your new arm. Eh, can’t blame her it is very pretty”

Bucky visibly panics, “Haha, thanks, I guess I can.”

“You look funny, my friend doesn’t bite. At least most times,” she laughs. “See you around, if she catches me chatting you up instead of studying, she will be the death of me”.

She sits back at the table. Her friend goes straight upto her table and sits with her friend. She leans to whisper. “Dude, it's the winter soldier in front of us”

“What? For real? That’s so cool, did you get a look at the arm?” she enquires quizzically.

“Stop fetishising his arm bro, don’t you have to have to study now”

“ I do, I do, I just wanted to, you know, know more? Does the other arm gets sore? How much can it lift? Why would someone’s parents name their kid bucchann? Also why does he wear those weird dog tags?

Bucky is not at a breaking point violently laughing under his breath at her questions and has forgotten the whole soulmate fiasco because of a pretty girl asking questions about him.

He turns around and goes, “The name on the tag says James, sweetheart. I wear the tags cause they remind me where I am from. Bucchann is just a middle name and I guess ma liked it. Was’t weird in the 40s”

She looks at him, shocked.

“DUUUUUDEEE. Did you just? Yo, the winter solider? Dudee” her friend starts to squeak.

She smiles sheepishly. She knows.

‘OH NO. SHE KNOWS, what did I say again?’ he thinks to himself. ‘AH JAMES this is why Sam doesn’t trust you to do things on your own.”

She finally says “Hi James, I guess I’m your soulmate judging by our reactions”

“Yea, I mean, I do have your sentence on my arm. Sorry I eavesdropped on you. But atleast now I know. I didn’t come up to say anything cause um I wasn't sure how to. Plus ex assassin here” he points to himself as he smiles. 

“Oof I got lucky, I thought I'd end up with a fuckboi. An ex assassin is much better bargain. Who wears tags anymore. I almost forgot they were a military thing.” she smiles, “Wait- what sentence did you hear?

Now it was Bucky’s turn to look sheepish. “My dude, congruent triangles are not soulmates”.

They all start laughing.

Bucky wasn’t wrong. He would meet her someday. It was just a long wait and a bookshelf away.