#yeah the right-wing guys are fucking up everything ahaha so funny what will we do if we have a far-right government in less than a month

[perditaiuventus]

i want to be more active but it’s hard to post about anything related to the ancient world and especially about roman politics from the 1st century BC when i’m terrified by current politics since we’re watching fascism get stronger & stronger in my country right now 👍

[emilyplaysotome]

Chapter 16 - Surprise, Surprise

Catch up on all Chapters here: http://emilyplaysotome.tumblr.com/post/173554646607/down-the-voltage-rabbit-hole-the-sequel-master

“Well he’s mucked it all up, hasn’t he?” The king asked, staring down at Eisuke with disdain.

The normally bustling restaurant was now completely still in a way that felt unsettling. Waiters placed food down on tables and poured water suspended in time and space as the king and I continued to live our lives in regular time.

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused as to what the king was getting at.

“He wasn’t supposed to be the sixth man, but…I’ll admit in a way he is.”

“What?”

“You had one guess and he wasn’t the one.”

I could feel my heart sink at those words, but watching the king I could tell that there was more going on to this situation than met the eye.

“I lost?”

“You were supposed to lose if you guessed him but I realize now that you’re correct in a way, and a deal’s a deal.”

“Wait…I’m sorry. I’m confused. Have I won Meg back or not?”

“Yes,” he said begrudgingly. “I’ll allow it. I know you think I’m a cheat, but I assure you that’s not the case.”

I was still uncertain as to what was happening when the king sighed and with a groan snapped again, producing Meg in front of me out of thin air.

“Naomi!”

“Meg!”

We hugged and even though we were ecstatic to be reunited once more, the king didn’t care much for what was happening with the two of us.

“You’re lucky I decided to read his mind when I did Goldfish or I might not have been as generous,” he droned on in the background.

His general attitude made me worry that my seeing Meg might be short lived, and I pulled away from her in order to figure out if I had her back for good this time.

“So I no longer have to guess the sixth man, right?”

The king let out another annoyed growl, almost was as if he was angry at me for not being the mind reader that he was.

“No. I will accept Eisuke even though the correct answer was Toma though.”

“But…”

“It’s my fault for not seeing it sooner. I had hoped that he would help me trick you, but it never occurred to me that his desire to come to this realm was more about being able to be there for you. I should have done more research before I approached him with my plan.”

“Research?”

“Good heavens you’re an infuriating one today! Yes. Research. You weren’t really on my radar when you first arrived, remember? Leon was the one keeping an eye on you and it was only when he started reporting to me that you were making eyes at Zyglavis that I began to check in.”

“Oh.”

“I witnessed him go to bat for his friend but it never occurred to me…not once…that he might be pining away for you while still supporting his friend.”

I felt lucky that the king was being generous, but I was surprised that he’d failed to fully understand who he brought to this world. I had it in my head that the whole time this had been a David vs. Goliath story and that most of the events that happened around me were his doing - managed by a mastermind of mischief. It had never occurred to me that he was rolling the dice as much as I was during this process, though maybe thinking that way about him was a bit too liberal in regards of his abilities to see how things would play out.

It was odd seeing someone like the king as fallible and naturally it was the moment I thought such a thing that the king let out a caustic chuckle and added, “I forgot how strange and sentimental you goldfish are. I’ve watched you for my entire life, over so many periods in human history and yet I often forget about your capacity for complexity.”

He looked at Eisuke somewhat wistfully and with a gloved hand gently touched his frozen cheek. Meg and I glanced at each other unsure as to what was happening until the king looked at us with a bright smile.

“Should I take this one back to my world too?”

“Actually…and I can’t believe I’m saying this but…can I keep him here for now?”

“Have a change of heart are we?”

“Mmm doubtful, but I think he might come in handy if you’re willing to give me that small advantage.”

The king clicked his tongue and with a wry, teasing smiled noted, “You seem to be doing far too well all things considered. And now that you have her I worry that I might be the underdog in this game I’ve orchestrated.”

“I’m sure you’ve still got a few tricks up your sleeve,” I said cautiously.

To that he grinned at me like the Cheshire Cat and nodded before snapping his fingers and restarting time.

Eisuke’s steak should have gone cold considering how long the king and I had talked, but true to the magic the king’s presence injected into this world I watched as he brought the steak to his lips and chewed, as if this second bite 15 minutes later was identical to the first. It took him a few seconds to register Meg’s presence and when he did he raised an eyebrow before giving her a small nod and taking another bite.

“Pull up a chair if you want to order something,” he said, gesturing to a waiter who pulled up a chair for her.

“Nice to finally meet you,” Meg said. “I feel like I’ve heard far too much from your annoying friends.”

“Oh?” Eisuke asked despite his tone hinting at his disinterest.

“Fuck! I’m glad to be back,” Meg said chuckling before waving over a waiter and pointing at Eisuke’s steak. “Hey - I’ll get what he’s eating.”

I couldn’t help but smirk at Meg’s attitude. I remembered vividly all the emotions I’d felt upon my return and there she was looking at her time away almost as if it was merely a nuisance. She looked great - slightly more fit and was wearing a cool and very fashionable bizarro Tokyo outfit.

Her hair was styled in beachy waves and she wore a fitted shirt that hugged her curves and left her shoulders and clavicle bare with dark jeans and cute ballet flats. Her makeup was done differently than her usual look (when she chose to wear makeup) and instead of a natural look her eyes really popped thanks to her dark winged eye liner.

“Naomi - I have to say...I’m glad the only person on the planet who understands what happened is you because fuck!”

“Must you keep cursing?” Eisuke asked in a slightly perturbed tone.

Meg turned towards him and looking him directly in the eyes smiled and said, “Fuck you and fuck your criminal friends.”

It was then that the relief of having her back for good combined with the scene playing out before me caused me to belly laugh in a way I hadn’t done since her disappearance. My laugh made Naomi start to laugh and in a matter of moments we were reduced to two giggling schoolgirls. 

In fact, we laughed so hard and for so long that by the time our laughter finally subsided, Meg’s steak had arrived and Eisuke grumbled, “It’s not that funny,” in protest of being completely out of control for once.

“How bad was it?” I asked.

“I mean...you’ve met me. And you’ve met Baba...”

“Oh boy.”

“I don’t know what it is about guys like him that make me want to knock them down a peg...”

“God I want to know everything...”

“So much happened. I think I broke the romance world you love so much.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. I don’t think there’s a single trope in that world I came to appreciate. For sure not the ones that are friends with him, but even outside of the hotel.”

“Really? You weren’t tempted by any of them? Not one?”

Meg hesitated for a second and in that second I knew that she’d met someone who had stirred something in her heart, despite the broken state it might currently be in. She lied in that moment though, shaking her head no and said, “Not really. And what about you?”

“I’m just happy to have you back, and I’m surprised that the king allowed it.”

“Why wouldn’t he have allowed it?” Eisuke asked curtly.

“Because the sixth man wasn’t you. But apparently you like me sooooo...”

Never in my life did I think I’d have the chance to tease Eisuke and I was not about to let this one pass me by. 

His cheeks immediately flushed and he defensively lowered his eyes to his food and both Meg and I cackled. It was a bit mean of us but we were back to being two peas in a pod and as insensitive as it was it couldn’t be helped.

“I’m certain I don’t know why,” he said gruffly, desperately trying to regain the upper hand. 

It was obvious that a man with such ego was not used to being at a disadvantage, and he continued to go about his business eating as the red hue in his face continued to deepen.

“Because Naomi is great - don’t give me that shit,” Meg quipped, eating her steak in a voracious manner. “And all of you have a complex where no one sees you for who you are and once they do you all fall fucking hard.”

Eisuke’s silverware clattered against his plate as he dramatically let them fall out of frustration.

“Must you curse like a sailor? We are in a nice steakhouse trying to enjoy a nice lunch...”

“I’m enjoying my lunch just fine and after being kidnapped for a month or two I’m just happy to be back in a world where people curse and aren’t incredibly reserved. The cultural differences between here and fake Tokyo were really starting to wear on my dumb American spirit.”

“I see,” he said, his words reeking of judgement. “I can’t imagine your charm did much for you in my world, unlike Naomi who somehow walks that perfect line between empowered and ladylike.”

“Ahaha hear that Omi?”

“Shut it.”

“And I’ll have you know Mister Ichinomiya,” Meg said, mouth full dragging out his name for effect, “Your buddies were pretty taken with me. Seems like my honey badger spirit was quite refreshing when compared with the meek women at the Tres Spades who just follow you and your boys around like dumb groupies.”

“Excuse me?”

Meg nodded, cheeks full of steak and a happy, slightly messy smirk. She chewed a bit more and swallowed the hunk of meat she’d been working on before replying triumphantly, “Yeah dude. Baba thought I was hilarious and told me I managed to ‘breathe life into the stalest of chases’, Mamoru felt as if I could just be one of the guys, and Ota kept saying he wanted me to be his pet or some shit, but by the end he was all blushy and asking me if I’d dom him.”

“I really didn’t need to know that,” Eisuke said with a disgusted look on his face.

Meg shrugged unfettered by Eisuke’s discomfort, and took another swing of water before flippantly replying, “You asked.”

“Yeah you kind of did...” I echoed.

“Naomi, do you think you could catch up with your friend some other time?” Eisuke asked more forcefully than usual.

Meg let out a chuckle and popped the last piece of steak in her mouth before getting up.

“Sure Romeo. I’d like to catch up on email before everyone realizes I’ve gone missing. How long has it been?”

“Not long,” I reassured Meg. “Like...4? 5 days?”

Meg scoffed and shook her head, “That’s crazy. It was almost a month in that world.”

“Believe me I understand.”

She picked up her bag, which had made it to and from the otome realm with her and told me to text her when I was done with work and left, not even bothering to say goodbye to Eisuke.

Meg had come in her usual loud, boisterous self and her absence left us in silence. Eisuke motioned to the waiter for the check, and once it had been delivered he put down cash.

“That friend of yours is...quite crass.”

“Meg is always herself no matter the company.”

“She’s your best friend?”

“One of them.”

“You can’t have more than one best friend. That negates the title.”

I could feel myself about to get into an argument but stopped myself and instead looked him square in the eyes and asked, “What is it that you really want to say?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

Eisuke paused momentarily, pursed his lips and said, “If you think I’m about to confess my love you’re sorely mistaken.”

“So you didn’t come here to win my heart then?”

“I came here for Soryu. But...then I saw you and we started arguing and I felt a strange affection for you. I wouldn’t say I want to win your heart...more that I’m irritated you can’t see that I’m better than any man you could ever hope to date. I shouldn’t have to win you. You should be trying to win me. And you don’t. And that infuriates me.”

The scene felt reminiscent of a therapy session if I’m being honest and I watched him unpack the things he was feeling, his expression twisting with discomfort as he realized how hard it was to not always get what you want.

The waiter returned with his changed and he left a nice tip, stuffing the rest into his wallet quite carelessly which was unlike him. I could tell he was agitated, not to mention frustrated by how his true intentions had come to light and when he stood to leave the table I grabbed ahold of his sleeve.

“No. Let’s finish this.”

“What?”

“Sit - I want to talk this out. I don’t want you to run away from me…”

“What do you really care Naomi? You got Meg back after all…it’s not like you actually like me. I can tell. That’s why this is all so maddening.”

“I don’t not like you.”

“Wow. Thank you. That’s basically what every man longs to hear,” he said sarcastically. He pulled his arm away from me, and I found myself reaching out once more.

“Eisuke, stop. Let’s not do this. Let’s talk like grown ups.”

“There’s nothing to say. You know how I feel now…and…and…”

I could feel someone’s eyes on me but didn’t dare look over for fear that if I shifted my attention nothing would be resolved. I pulled him back down into our seats and just as I was forming my rebuttal, I felt his lips on mine. I was stunned to be honest - I never expected him to just kiss me out of the blue, especially considering I was convinced that the remnants of my lunch might be present on my face.

I don’t know if it was the shock or the inner monologue but I found myself allowing it to go on longer than I ever would have thought. It was strange kissing a man that I didn’t even particularly like and even stranger that I sort of enjoyed it.

He was my client…a thorn in my side…and yet I started to relax into his arms, and his kiss…

…and then as quickly as he’d moved in, he pulled back and I was left panting and docile with a curious expression on my face.

“I have to go,” he muttered and I was so caught off guard I did nothing to stop him from running away from me.

I brought my hand to my lips and with my thumb wiped away a trace of wetness the kiss left behind. I started to compose myself and it was then that I turned to see Jin at the window, looking in at me past the client he was speaking with outside the steakhouse and I realized that his being there was not mere coincidence.

This was the king fighting back after I’d had too many wins, too quickly.

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Thanks for reading :)

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[moonraccoon-exe]

Heyyyyy Racc ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) how flustered do you think Gladio would be if he found out Ignis had a twin??.. (sister or brother, your choice! )

Hahahaha, Y E S!!!

I’ve had this here for quite a while but I can’t stop thinking about it and probably won’t. I’ve been laughing at the mere mental images this brings me, and I so have to share something about this!!

First off; Ignis with a twin? HNG, YES.

I’d LOVE both cases, because if it was a sister then we could have some sort of Fem!Ignis at least visually and ASTRALS ABOVE, yes.

But imagine if it was a brother. I think that that would mess with Gladio a little more. No, wait, I just had ideas for both scenario ahaha, awman, I need to write stuff for this! Due to length this only includes Brother but ohman. I’m having so much fun writing this.

Edit: *dEEP BREATH* I ADORED AND LOVED WRITING THIS, this is now one of my new absolute favorites, thank you so much!!!

[Adding a Keep Reading at some point]

Gladio dealing with discovering Ignis has a twin brother (& their adventures after he does):

I’ve been adoring the idea of the situation being like that rumor from Marvel’s Avengers on Chris Evans and his troubles with identifying whether he’s talking with Scarlett Johansson or her stunt actress.

Same happens to Gladio: is this Ignis or is this his twin brother?

First time Gladio interacted with him, he still had no idea Ignis had a sibling, let alone a twin.

Gladio was fourteen.

Ignis, due to his great intellect and potential, was taken to the Citadel since very little, but he couldn’t bring his brother along, so Brother is staying with their Aunt at the Scientia house, while Ignis stays at the Citadel with their Uncle.

Ignis isn’t the most talkative on his personal life and, when young, he was very damn shy, so he didn’t bring up to conversation he has a brother (it either didn’t occur to him or he just was too shy to talk on his private life).

So, despite all the years together as friends, Gladio has literally no idea Ignis has a sibling.

One day, Ignis’ brother was visiting for a proper tour around the Citadel. He waited in the hallway while Ignis went into the bathroom.

Gladio happened to stumble upon him.

“Yo, Iggy! Hey, what are you doing ‘round here? :)”

“Oh. I’m not-”

“I was looking for you, say, I forgot to give you your pen back at school yesterday, so here you go.”

“Thank you :)”

“No worries, Iggy.”

“I’m-”

“*gasps* Oh, no, dad will kill me if I’m late. Sorry. See you later, Iggy!”

“Oh. Well, hurry, I wouldn’t want you to die, big friend from school.”

Gladio was a bit ?? because what the fuck did Ignis just call him, but the almost naive way in which he said the rest made him laugh a lot, so he just shrugged it off and left.

That was literally his first interaction with Ignis’ twin.

Jkssks this idiot.

You cannot judge Gladio, the Scientia have the same bloody hairstyle and both wear glasses.

They’re like waterdrops, except Brother has a darker shade of green in the eyes and a different birthmark.

Gladio continued to live unaware that this was not Ignis.

One day, Ignis was very, very, as in absolutely v e r y sick.

Still, he insisted to go to the Citadel because “he has work to do”.

Brother smacked him.

“LISTEN HERE, I already knew the way you’re going stress would kill you in a year or two, but I can’t believe you want to fasten the process by also throwing yourself into the Stress Pit while agonizing.”

Ignis tried to insist he’s fine and kept it very, very clear he can’t miss work and someone has to do it.

Guess who’s going in his place.

Twin bro is the shit.

Twin bro is taking Ignis’ clothing and going to work in his place so Ignis doesn’t miss his work day but also gets to rest in bed.

It wasn’t in the plan to pretend being Ignis. He just happens to look the same.

Across the day, Bro waves back at “Hello, Ignis”s and “How are you, Ignis?”s and he doesn’t mind.

There’s a few who recognize he’s Brother (king Regis and Noctis, as well as Clarus and Cor), but the majority mistake him by Ignis.

He doesn’t mind nor is he correcting them.

Guess who happened to stumble upon him again.

“HEY, Iggy!! You’re looking good, yesterday you looked kind of bad, are you okay?”

“Oh. Well, Ignis is fine.”

Gladio’s laughing because “haha Ignis is refering to himself in third person.”

“I’m happy. Say, the other day, at my house. Thank you. The way the teacher puts it, it’s ridiculous, but you helped me understand very well, and today I got a 100% on the test.”

“Ah, I’m glad about it! :)”

“Yeah. You know, I used to think tutoring embarassing, but it’s very helpful. I know I’m not awful at school, but you make it a thousand times easier. You’re so smart, how does your head not explode? Nice sweater, by the way. Are these glasses new?”

“Oh? Ah, no. I’ve always had them.”

“Hm? I thought they were black, but I may just be an idiot. Do you want a candy? I saw Monica and she gave me a few.”

“Oh, that’d be nice! :)”

“Here you go. Do you like orange or strawberry better? Don’t tell me. Orange.”

“Hah, yeah :)”

“Nice. Also, did you know about Beric?”

“Who’s Beric?”

“Ahaha, Iggy, you’re extra funny today. Beric from school. Turns out he [blah blah blah]”

Gladio talked long and comfy with him having no idea this isn’t Ignis.

Brother has literally no idea what Gladio’s talking about.

He doesn’t mind, though.

Brother let him call him Ignis and talk with him as he pleased and never corrected him and just agreed or laughed even though he doesn’t understand what is going on.

That night, Brother told Ignis everything that Gladio told him.

“I think he thinks I’m you.”

“Hm…Gladio’s not as silly. He’s very perceptive. He’s got a very sharp eye and great intuition. I guess he must have noticed by now.”

Ignis’ expectations of Gladio are too high.

As time goes and by the time they’re 15 and from then on, sometimes brother goes to the Citadel to help.

Sometimes it’s to replace Ignis when he worries Ignis is stressing too much, sometimes both are around the place attending different duties.

Brother is in charge of minor ordering of archives, messenger activities, etc., while Ignis continues with his major ordering, Council and etc.

Even when both are at the same time at the Citadel Gladio still doesn’t notice there’s a Second Ignis.

The Scientia twins are coming and going everywhere all the time, so they’re barely ever together or in the same place.

So, Gladio only sees one.

“Woah. Iggy? I thought…I thought you were…ahaha, never mind. Good day! :)”

“Hey, Iggy! How did you get here so fast? I last saw you at the hallway of the throne room! Winged feet, huh? :)”

“Oh? They told me you were during Council meeting lessons! What are you doing here? :)”

“Lmao haha Ignis wtf you couldn’t have come here so fast.”

“Ignis, literally what the fuck, I just…around the corner and… *takes a look* *stares at Brother* *stares around* *stares at Brother* How the fuck.”

“Gladio, have you seen Noctis?”

“He’s at the training Hall :)”

“Thank you! *leaves*”

Gladio’s tying his shoelace and stands back up to find Ignis standing in front of him.

Gladio’s flinching and yelping in a jumpscare.

“Hi, Gladio. Excuse me, do you know where Noctis is?”

“Lmao, Ignis, wtf. I just literally told you he’s in the training hall.”

“What? Oh, right. Okay, thanks. *leaves*”

Gladio watches him leave, shakes the head and thinks he’s just hallucinating, so he turns around and goes, only to find Ignis coming from the other hallway a few seconds later.

“Ah, Gladio! I’m sorry, which way is the training hall?”

“IGNIS WHAT THE FUCK.”

“Did I upset you? :’(”

The Scientia twins have literally no idea they’re messing with Gladio.

Gladio still has no idea or clue Ignis has a twin.

Whenever Gladio happens to engage in conversation with Brother, he has no idea it’s Brother.

Literally, Gladio will stand or sit there with him and talk like this is Ignis and call him that.

Brother has long assumed and has it a hundred percent for sure that Gladio’s just kidding when he treats him like it’s Ignis.

He assumed that Gladio knows him and is aware that he’s Ignis’ twin, and both because he doesn’t know his name and because that’s his way of kidding about the whole situation, as if doing this on purpose in some way of laughing at himself for their first interaction, he just calls him Ignis.

Truth is Gladio really thinks he’s Ignis when they’re interacting.

When Gladio’s sixteen he starts growing feelings for Ignis.

He adores just staring at him instead of the chalkboard at school, he really likes his hair and his brain and his feelings and his heart and his eyes and everything about him.

It was eventual, but he figured he really adores the guy and has a crush on him.

“Besides, I feel…Iris, I feel I’m seeing him everywhere all the time. That must mean he’s got me bad.”

Hahahahahahaha, oh Gladio.

Gladio spent most part of his 15′s and part of his 16′s hiding the feelings because “They’re ridiculous, I’ll get over this” but lol nope, it only got worse, to the point he’s agonizingly, desperately, insufferably, profoundly and excruciatingly crushing on Ignis.

Can’t look at him without going red to the ears and entirely stupid.

This state, of course, makes it impossible for him to pay attention and notice there’s two Ignis.

The poor thing.

One day he couldn’t contain the feelings anymore and had to confess so he went straight towads Ignis.

Except that’s not Ignis.

ahahahsdioashdasiohaha this mess, I love it so much.

“Uhm…Ignis…can I talk with you for a moment? >////

“Sure, Gladiolus. What’s wrong?”

“I…I uhm…I was…I was wondering…I mean- no, it’s not- no-”

“:) ?”

It took Gladio veeeeeeery long to get anywhere.

“And I just want to say… >////////

Look at that sixteen year old Gladio. His undercut hairstyle, his still hairless face, so young and smol and inexpert and silly and shy, entirely red in the face and almost sweating from the nervousness, standing in front of Brother, who’s just all  (・・ ) ? holding his clipboard and blinking up at Gladio.

“Listen. You are…you are…the most incredible person that I know. Ignis, I am- I want- I just want to say- you don’t need to pressure or feel engaged or guilty or anything, I just want to say- Ignis I’m- thing is…you are…the way you make me feel. It’s stupid and I’m getting tired of it, because I can’t sleep because I think too much and it’s always you in my head, and I can’t look at you without having brain death, I literally sometimes forget how to speak just because I saw you, and I can’t eat because it tickles so much inside I’d throw up, and I’m…what I what to say is…Ignis just don’t- I don’t- I am-….”

“ (・・ ) ? “

“…Ignis, I really really really really like you like you have no idea and I wanted to offer we go somewhere you’d like!” he bows to him, “I-I have no troubles if you say no!”

There’s a very long and dead silence.

Trembling 16 y.o. Gladio’s still in reverence in front of Brother who’s still all  (・・ ) ?

“…I’m sorry. :’(”

“Why?”

“I…don’t know. I don’t mean to upset you. I just…really like you. And I would really like to go…to go…out? Sometime…someday…anywhere…just as long as…as it’s…with you?” Brother is impressed Gladio’s face has not exploded from how red it is. “Uhm…you don’t…have to say yes if you don’t wanna. Sorry, Ignis.”

There’s another long, dead silence and nobody’s moving.

“…oooooh…you’re- oooh, *gaSPS* GLADIO THAT WAS SO SWEEEEET!! ❤ ”

“Really? :D”

“Yeah, I’m sure he’ll love it!”

wat

Gladio’s now all  (・・ ) ?

why is Ignis referring to himself in third person wtf.

He’s too scared of ruining things between them so he just rolls with it.

“Uhm…yeah?”

“Gladio, that was so sweet, I’m sure he will say yes, just wait and- omg I’ll tell him to go look for you tomorrow, this is so sweet, I had no idea you- *histerical contained giggle* YOU TELL HIM THIS EXACT SAME TOMORROW, it’s so sweet! You’ve got this, IT’LL TURN OUT FINE AND HE WILL SAY YES”

“…??  (・・ ) ??” 

Gladio’s very puzzled and also a bit creeped out.

What just happened

Is that a yes

Brother broke out running because HE’S SO EXCITED OMG IGNIS WON’T BELIEVE THIS

Gladio’s just standing there staring into the void and frowning lightly and feeling so confused he feels lost because

wtf is Ignis doing

Was this his way of telling him “I need to think but I’ll tell you my answer tomorrow”?

“I’ll tell Ignis”.

Wtf.

Ignis

Ignis wtf r u doing

Gladio’s V E R Y confused.

Brother thought that Gladio was rehearsing.

Jjkdsjksdjsfsd THESE IDIOTS ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

Brother thought, once he understood what Gladio was asking, that Gladio had wanted to ask Ignis out for a while now, but has been way too shy and can’t gather the courage; as a solution, he thought about approaching Brother and pretend it was Ignis since the beginning, so while he knows this is not Ignis, he’s pretending he is and imagining this is the moment, so he can let it out and get rid of the shyness, so this is his rehearsal for the real thing.

Brother’s expectations of Gladio are too high, too.

The next day Gladio’s going around the Citadel when Ignis appears from a hallway a bit shy like

“Hi, Gladio. Uhm, Kaji told me you wanted to tell me something important, but he refused to tell me-”

“Wait wait wait. Who?”

“Kaji.”

“Ignis, listen, I don’t know what’s with you but you’ve been acting very weird. Listen, if it’s because of what I said yesterday, forget it, really. You don’t have to act like you’re mentally insane or something as crazy.”

“…excuse me?”

“If you just want to say no, say no, no need to invent madness or anything.”

“Gladio, what are you talking about? Kaji said-”

“Who the hell is Kaji?”

“Kaji. Kaji Scientia?”

“….who?”

“My brother?”

Dead silence again before Gladio’s shaking the head. He’s going all dry and cold on Ignis.

“Your brother.”

“Yes. You talked with him yesterday and-”

“Wow. Wow, okay, you’re saying-” sarcastic laugh. “Your brother. Twin, I suppose.”

“Well…yes?”

“Fantastic. Great. This is amazing. I thought you were better than this, Ignis. I’m very disappointed. I understand I’m not your type, but to invent a twin brother just to pretend it wasn’t you I was talking to yesterday? Wow. You, you really are incredible.”

“What?”

“Your sarcasm really knows no limits. How incredible of you.”

Ignis is about to reply, but he doesn’t get to say anything and he’s just frowning at Gladio with confusion when there’s a yell from behind the Shield.

“HEEEEY GUYS! Did he already tell you!? :D”

Gladio’s turning around.

Kaji Scientia walks towards them.

Gladio’s eyes grow so wide his eyeballs almost fall out their sockets, his jaw drops so low it almost touches his chest, and he’s turning to look at Ignis, back at brother, Ignis, brother, and continues until Kaji stands at his other side so Gladio’s standing between the Scientia Twins.

Kaji’s all naive smiles and Ignis is all sarcastic raise of an eyebrow.

It took a second.

The Citadel had never ever before witnessed a louder “WHAT THE FUCK” in all its history.

It takes literally twenty minutes before Gladio can calm enough just to listen and half comprehend.

“IGNIS YOU HAVE A BROTHER!?!?!!? IGNIS YOU HAVE A TWIIIIINNNNN!?!?!?!”

“I thought you knew!”

“YOU LET ME TALK TO YOU ALL THIS TIME LIKE YOU’RE IGNIS AND NEVER CORRECTED ME!?!!??!”

“I thought you knew!”

“I’VE SPENT AN ENTIRE YEAR WITH THE TWO OF YOU IN THE SAME PLACE AND I HAD NO IDEA!?!?!?”

“We thought you knew!”

It’s yet another half an hour before Gladio comprehends better and stops panicking.

“WAIT A- WAIT. WAIT, DOES THAT MEAN THAT-” he turns to look at Ignis. “WHAT I SAID YESTERDAY I SAID…” slowly turns to brother without making eye contact “…I-I….I-I said…to you…”

“It was ADORABLE, you have to repeat the same words to Ignis because hnngffgf.”

“Wait, what was adorable?”

“Gladio wants to conf-”

“NOTHING.”

“Kaji, what was the important thing you said-”

“NO-THING”

“Gladio’s too shy but he wants to ask you-”

“I SAID NOTHING.”

And that’s the story of how Gladio ended up wrestling with poor Kaji Scientia while Ignis smacked Gladio to force him to let go and Gladio’s confused the entire time because he’s fighting an Ignis while another Ignis fights him and how in the world.

Everybody’s making fun of him for the rest of his life.

“I am surprised you only noticed when you had both in front of you. I thought you were an Amicitia but you may as well have been adopted.”

“Dad >:’‘‘( “

“Hah, you didn’t notice before? Pscht, talk about brute.”

“NOCT >:(”

“*insert a Regis joke about this all*”

“…your Majesty :’‘(”

“What a poor eye. And you call yourself a Shield.”

“Cor, stop >:’(”

Tbh it took Gladio a while to stop feeling flustered whenever he interacts with neither of them.

He’s profoundly embarrassed for not having noticed, ofc, but he’s also personally embarrassed with Kaji for not knowing his name or proper existance, and he feels personally bad for Ignis because he doesn’t want Ignis to think he doesn’t care about his personal life, so not knowing something like the fact that he has a twin makes him ashamed of himself.

None of the brothers mind, and they’re both moved by the way Gladio takes this so personally.

“Omg he cares.”

“See, he’s a good choice, say Yes, Ignis.”

“Omg no, I can’t do that.”

“But why, don’t be shy.”

“What if I’m not what he expects?”

“OMg Ignis he’s literally dying for you, he expects nothing.”

“Hnfgnmf, Kaji I can’t.”

“But he’s such a good choice for you, don’t tell me you don’t like him.”

“Well ofc I do but-”

“His face, Ignis.”

“OMG I know he’s so handsome”

“His physic”

“Hnfgmnf yes”

“He cares”

“I KNOW”

“GO TELL HIM YES.”

Basically Kaji is the romance devil on Ignis’ shoulder who whispers to him ‘yes omg do that’ when Ignis doesn’t want to do a thing.

The twin brothers are gossiping on Gladio matters.

After the initial weeks of flustering whenever he sees any of the two, Gladio starts just laughing at the situation and rolling with it.

As time passes, he still confuses them, though.

The twins are now doing it on purpose.

Sometimes Gladio will go with one and talk with him like he’s the other, and he won’t say a thing and will see how long Gladio takes to notice he’s talking to the brother of who he thinks he’s talking to.

“Wait, you’re not Ignis.”

“Ten minutes, two seconds.”

“Why are you writing that?”

“Ignis and I are taking note of how long you take to notice you’re talking with the wrong twin.”

“Wat”

His record is five minutes forty nine seconds.

The twins literally have a list for that.

The only moments the twins break the fun is whenever Gladio wants to get affectionate (if it’s Kaji).

I forgot, ofc Ignis said yes and now they’re dating, how lovely.

So, you know, sometimes Gladio mistakes Kaji by Ignis so he’ll be chilling and talking with him, and sometimes he’ll try to grab his face and smooch, but brother always yelps out like a pterodactyl and shoves Gladio off him.

“GROSS”

“Wha- WAIT YOU’RE NOT IGNIS.”

Kaji’s ace, btw, so no troubles there.

You can understand it’s sometimes super startling for Gladio because he has for sure this is Ignis so

“Haha, aw Iggy. You really have no idea how much I love you…”

“Eeeewwww.”

“…well aren’t you the most affection- WAIT YOU’RE NOT IGNIS”

“Twenty minutes three seconds.”

“Come ‘ere, you idiot! *bear hugs and tries to kiss his face*”

“EWWWWWWWWWWWWW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! S O M E B O D Y   H E L P   M EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”

“YOU’RE NOT IGNIS!”

“You’re so cute, Iggy. Come here, you moogle nose, adorable creature, sweet angel, my dearest heart, piece of my soul, part of-”

“UUUUUUGGGGH I AM DISGUSTED.”

“Wow, okay, no need to- *GASPS* YOU’RE NOT IGNIS, DAMMIT”

“Forty minutes, fifty three seconds.”

Ignis plays, too.

“So the other day I was telling him ‘So how do you expect me to know when you’re lying? You were raised a strategist, you’re too good keeping secrets but it’s not always a good thing’, you know”

“Uh huh”

“So I was like, ‘you shouldn’t be keeping things like that from me, you know I’m your boyfriend and your friend’

“Uh huh”

“And he was like all sass and class like ‘it’s not like I make any harm’ you know”

“Uh huh.”

“And then I was- ………….”

“……”

“WAIT YOU’RE NOT KAJI”

“Nineteen minutes, thirty four seconds. Also, your impression of my voice is pretty…unique.”

“So I was like ‘mother of Shiva, Noctis, you can’t do that’ but he was like ‘Eh’”

“Ah hah.”

“And the little shit almost convinces me to go to the arcade and skip training.”

“Oooh.”

“Yeah and I was like “Omg Ignis is going to be so angry at me.”

“Uh huh.”

“And it took a moment and I almost surrender but I didn’t give in to that.”

“Nice.”

“Yeah. Just don’t tell Ignis, the mere idea that I considered it will make him angry at me.”

“…..”

“….”

“….”

“….wait yOU’RE NOT KAJI.”

There was this once, omg read it

Gladio thinks he’s with Ignis and he’s ‘made sure’ according to himself, so they’re alone at the training hall and they’re a bit older and hormones are a bit crazy, okay

So some innocent smooching ended up heating up until he was making out with Ignis, and until he had the guy pressed to the wall.

And Ignis is gently biting at his lips and their tongues are a mess, and Ignis may or not have hooked a leg with Gladio’s and Astrals above the kiss is so good.

And then when they break apart it’s just for air and Gladio has the forehead resting on Ignis’ and Ignis then caresses his face and looks at him with dark eyes and some lust and then he says in almost a pur

“I’ve always had this fantasy and temptation. Always.”

“Really?”

“I’m so glad you’re giving in to it, too” so the brown haired in his arms and against the wall hugs him closer to whisper at his ear “Let’s just not tell Ignis. Okay?”

Gladio swears his heart stopped for five minutes.

Needless to say, he immediately broke apart, stared at whoever he’s holding, eyes wide and face pale, and he’s not even able to talk, he just mouths “…really?”, before the other guy gives him a little dark giggle.

Gladio fucking shoved him off himself.

“…you’re not Ignis.”

And another of those playful smiles.

He stepped away pretty roughly and only stared long and long and long before he could say or do anything.

“Kaji. Listen. This should have never…I didn’t- I don’t mean to-. Whatever you thought-…how could you do this? Pretend to be your brother, and then do this to me? And worse, you dare do this to him? Kaji, I don’t feel towards you like I feel towards him and I will never do. He’s…my only one. You look the same, but you’re not the same. So if you thought for a second that I’ve ever wanted…”

Kaji’s looking at him with teary eyes and a moved expression.

Gladio at first took it by sadness and he continued to lecture and nag him and it lasted about five entire minutes before he got an unexpected reaction.

Kaji started smiling.

It was very very clear he’s trying to contain it and he only looks at Gladio and he doesn’t seem ashamed or anything, just very very very amused and trying not to burst into laughter.

And then Gladio catches it.

“….wait…you’re-you’re…”

Scientia burst into laughter.

“Ignis! >:(”

“I’m so sorry, Gladio, dear, ahahahaha!!”

Gladio has the most perfect (ಠ ヘ ಠ) face that has ever existed.

Gladio was  (`ヘ´) all the rest of that day.

Ignis had to feed him Noodles so he could talk to him again and stop being all moody.

Tbh Ignis was particularly and especially cuddly and clingy with him for the following days/weeks, so #WorthIt.

“You care  (´︶`)♡”

“You know, you could have put me to test some other way, now I can’t look at your brother without feeling odd. Thank you for the trauma.”

Ignis regrets nothing.

Him and Kaji have had some good laughs about it.

Back to Gladio sometimes mistaking Kaji for Ignis and trying to be loving with him and Kaji screeching like a pterodatyl:

Every time this happens, Gladio gets super flustered.

He really doesn’t mean to mistake them, it just happens.

So he gets super flustered and embarrassed when he gets affectionate with brother.

He’ll burn red in the face like when he was sixteen, will lower the head, avoid eye contact, and be an apologizing mess.

Gladio never feels more embarrassed than in those moments.

He feels super bad and exalted.

This is Ignis’ damn own brother and Gladio almost smooches his nose, omg, earth please swallow me I cannot cope with the shame I am terrible

It’s already bad to have Kaji walking on in them cuddling

Ofc Gladio gets super mega incredibly flustered when he mistakes him for Ignis.

Gladio had no idea those levels of embarassment are possible.

They’re so big they stalk him whenever he thinks about any of those moments.

At least Kaji takes it the fun way and screeches.

Sometimes the Scientia twins like to go full fake drama on him if it happens that Ignis walked on in Gladio mistaking Kaji for him.

“*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH*”

“OMG YOU’RE NOT IGNIS”

Ignis, from the door: “*GASPS* Gladiolus!! You’re cheating on me!!”

“IGNIS! NO, I’M- *sigh* Omg please no don’t do this to me again”

“And with my own brother! :’‘(”

“Ignis, he’s forcing me!! :’‘‘(”

“Oh no! The misery! You cheat on me with my own brother and you’re forcing him into this!”

“Guys, this has never been funny >:’(”

“Oh Ignis. Brother of my blood. I cannot look at you anymore.”

“Oh, brother of my soul, do not talk like that. It was not your fault.”

“Oh, brother of my heart-”

“GUYS >:’‘(”

“- please *unnecessarily super mega dramatic* forgive me.”

“I forgive thee, brother.”

“Oooh, Ignis. You merciful soul *hugs his knees*”

“COME ON THIS IS GETTING OLD”

“Brother, shall we go and comfort each other and leave this heretic to his own luck?”

“Yes, we shall. Give me your arm.”

“Guys, please”

And that’s how the Scientia twins leave for an ice cream leaving Gladio behind just for fun.

How has Gladio not gone mad

“Excuse me, Iggy-”

“Not Iggy.”

“Sorry, Kaji. Uhm, Iggy- wait you’re Kaji.”

“Try again.”

“…so…Ignis? I- wait no, Kaj- no, wait I am confused.”

This is usual.

“Ig-”

“Not Ignis.”

“Sorry. *is about to leave* Wait. Are you sure you’re not Ignis trying fool me to think you’re not Ignis just because you’re busy?”

“You’ve got me. I’m Ignis.”

“…wait are you Kaji covering your brother?”

“*sigh* You’ve got me again. It’s Kaji here.”

“…wait.”

This is super usual.

Sometimes Kaji helps in their relationship.

He’s Ignis’ confidant, so Ignis tends to tell him most of his stuff he doesn’t talk to others.

Stuff from his relationship with Gladio, for example.

Kaji knows both mean only good for each other and that Gladio’s a good guy, but he’s also aware misunderstandings and accidents happen.

He’s also very painfully aware of how much Ignis can ignore himself or think himself obstacle or a bother, so brother understands sometimes Ignis doesn’t open up to Gladio in matters that he should and only tells Kaji.

Guess who can’t keep the mouth shut.

Kaji wants their relationship to work out bc of how aware he is that these two are sincere with each other, so he assumes it’s fine to sometimes give a hand into it.

This one day, Gladio’s going around and Ignis approaches him, looking a bit embarrassed/upset.

“Uhm…Gladio…I uhm…here.”

He’ll just hand a folded paper and leave.

The note contains a polite message from Ignis saying something like ‘It’s all okay, but I didn’t like your comment about (X) last night. It made me feel a little sad. Sorry I tell you via this. I’m not upset, I only wanted to let you know. - Your Iggy’.

Did I mention Kaji has mastered how to fake Ignis’ handwriting and that that was not Ignis?

Gladio’s usually going to look for Ignis, apologize, and hug him.

Ignis has literally no idea it’s Kaji’s doing.

This is usual.

It doesn’t really matter; things get solved and his relationship with Gladio improves.

And the best part is that this eventually gives Ignis the confidence so he himself opens up to Gladio later in the future.

Best brother award goes to Twin Brother.

After entire years dealing with the Scientia twins messing with him both accidentally and on purpose, there’s a point where Gladio hits the limits that are past his limits and he can’t deal with this anymore.

“YOU TWO DO SOMETHING, YOU’RE TWENTY AND STILL LOOK THE SAME, OMFG, CHANGE STYLES, NE OF YOU BECOME GOTH OR SOMETHING, OR CUT YOUR HAIR, OR WEAR LENSES, OR SOMETHING, YOU CANNOT BE TWENTY AND STILL BE IDENTICAL FFS.”

“You’re right. It’s supposed that once we hit adulthood we’re supposed to shift and transform and look entirely different from our TWIN BROTHER.”

“Do not sass me, Ignis >:(”

“I am not Ignis.”

“DO NOT SASS ME, KAJI.”

“No, I am Kaji, he tricked you.”

“THAT’S IT, I’M DONE.”

Gladio’s grabbing the first one he reaches and starts messing with him.

Thing is this Scientia’s offering fight, so they end up wrestling and the event repeats itself and Gladio ends up wrestling one while the other smacks him, except this time he has no idea who is who.

Gladio didn’t reach to hurt, he aimed to mess with the hair.

“Ew Gladiolus what are you doing!? Let go of me, no, no!! What are y- eewww, why saliva!! Stop it this instant, I’m going to- kfgjnf, no!! What are you doing to my hair, stop!!”

And that’s the story of how Gladio invented Ignis’ sticking-upwards hairstyle.

This is the only way he can difference the Scientia twins from afar, understand him.

….sometimes the twins exchange hairstyles during a day.

You know what’s also very usual?

“Not that I complain or anything, Gladio, but all this talk on what you’re planning to get Ignis for his birthday makes me feel a little left out. You forgot mine.”

“*GASPS* NO WAY, KAJI, ARE YOU SERIOUS!? When was it!?”

“You don’t remember? ;(”

“Kaji, no, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I forgot, I’m-”

“….”

“…”

“…”

“You goddamn idiot, your birthday is the same fucking day.”

Kaji likes to make a drama out of what Gladio gifts him on their birthday.

“Of course. Ignis’ is better.”

“Of course not, just the thematic is different.”

“OF COURSE. Who says I don’t want a gift like that?”

“Kaji, he’s my boyfriend, I can’t gift you the same things.”

“Yes of course, because nobody loves poor Kaji.”

“Kaji you’re asexual.”

“Leave me alone to die out of loneliness and isolation.”

Just as a side note, imagine Scientia twins musical duo

I THINK I’M BREATHING FOR THESE BROTHERS I’m loving the visuals omfg.

Gladio likes but also hates when both brothers pamper him just to mess with him.

Like he has Ignis kissing his face and Kaji stroking his hair.

He has Ignis playfully biting at his ear and Kaji massaging his hand.

He has Ignis hugged to a side and Kaji to the other. Well, they are hugging him.

He has Ignis piggy-back style and Kaji’s clinging from his leg.

Ignis is smooching his face and he’s got Kaji koala-hugged to his back.

Too much love.

They’re identical.

Stop.

Romantically, Gladio loves only Ignis.

Visually, the gods damn, he has a pleasure buffet when he sees the Scientia twins together.

Kaji trained for Crownsguard too, so while not acrobatic like Ignis, he’s got the same body, basically.

Kaji’s identical to his boyfriend, were you expecting for Gladio to not like him at least visually?

Omfg how dare are these brothers so attractive.

You know the kind of impossible fantasies people have, as in, the one fantasy (in any sense) that they know impossible so it’s not a goal? Only just that, an impossible fantasy? As in something very wild they know they won’t look for, just fantasize about?

Gladio’s is, but of course, having these two for threesome.

Again, that’s only in his mental archives of Impossible Fantasies, not a goal and certainly not something he’ll die without.

Still, imagine the possibilities.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Maybe they Scientia agree.

I wanted to do Sister too, but I gave all my imagination to Brother so currently I don’t have things for Sis :(

But I have to point this out:

Gladio’s very, very, v e r y flustered about Ignis’ twin sister because

“This is what Ignis looks like. WITH BOOBS.”

You can tell Gladio’s constantly avoiding her because he turns red and all idiot and fights not to stare at her boobs.

It’s not her boobs, it’s not them why he’s staring.

It’s the idea of “this is what Ignis looks like boobiefied” what has him staring.

But ofc he can’t explain that to Twin Sister. But also can’t lie with “I like your boobs”.

I mean he likes them.

But it’s not that why he’s-

See, this is the kind of mess Gladio’s trying to avoid.

…Gladio may or may not have the same impossible fantasy here.

Do not judge me, have you looked at the Scientia twins!?!? Geez.

Hahaha, imagine Sis cuts her hair short.

So she looks even more like Iggy now.

“THIS IS WHAT IGNIS LOOKS LIKE WITH BOOBS.”

Why is Gadio thinking so much about that, anyway

This was so much fun to write, you literally don’t have an idea how much I enjoyed it, ahahah, aaaaaaaaaaah!!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS GOLDEN ENTRY, I’m loving all the visuals and I hope you did so too! o(≧▽≦)o

PS: ‘Kaji’ means Fire in japanese, or so said the internet. :)

Edit: Look at these two arts for the Scientia twins! Here & here!

[stillsolo]

for the first in a while, I'm gonna ... try to take it easy, today.  

I actually have a lot to do but I really need to chill the fuck out for a second and take a breather.  my OCD's made my life remarkably difficult lately and I've begun to disassociate in order to cope.  I know disassociation plays a key role in obsessive-compulsive disorders; I know my OCD's fairly severe and it's been getting worse as I get older, but I'm not...usually this bad.  Even when under stress.

for example, a batch of 200 commissioned banner icons suddenly turns into 400+, and I'm still not done because I can't stop keep remaking them.  

oh, this one's coloring is off. but these frames are split second to each other ... can't have that, gotta redo 'em. 

 wait, the pixels are...'weird' looking in the corner, here.  rejected.

this one could've been cropped way better.  how could I expect them to use this?

why is this one in the 'final version' folder when the border around it overlapped a part of the icon?

I need to redo these 73 because the shadow is too dark and blocky beneath the icon.  it’s supposed to be a fade.  it’s what they ordered and you’re not giving them what they asked for. 

someone's paying you for this shit get it TOGETHER

yesterday, my OCD got triggered about 3 times?  I have a couple of forms.  I had a breakdown in front of my mother after she came home and asked me if I ate and I know I must've made some kinda stupid face that gave it away because seconds after she'd asked, I realized I didn't know what the hell ate other than the toast she'd watched me eat before she left for work at 9am.  It was 11pm when she asked.  

I also had mini-breakdown while talking to my customer and it was terribly embarrassing.  I got a nosebleed to top it all off too lmao  ( i'm so sorry if you're reading this, john omfg you've been the best to me and I'm sorry because I'm sure all you'd wanted was icons to rp sdfkjsd )

but I just. 

All of my friends think OCD is just me having high ass standards or just being 'know-it-all'.  I've been called that all my life.  In fact, I've been called that by friends I thought would never say anything like that about me because I thought we were friends

We live in this new age of 'awkward is cute'.   It's hip to be square, cool to be uncool, and sexy to be nerdy and quirky.  and there isn’t any better way to declare your individuality and weirdness than branding yourself 'so OCD' about something.  

Ahaha.

I fucking loathe people who do this.

OCD isn't a quirk or a set of tendencies.  It's not fucking buzzf.eed list, not a little buzzf.eed quiz you can take and readily relate to the results; it's an incapacitating, isolating disease that makes you afraid of your own mind.

If my friends could see, just once, what it's like for me, when I'm caught in an obsessive-compulsive loop, maybe then they'd finally understand me when I say ''''it's bad''''.

Even Something as simple as drawing a line-art from a sketch turns into a complete and total nightmare.  8/10 times, I'll redraw the line-art like — hm, I don' dunno — about 7 fuckin' times in a row, then, delete all of it because IDK, it wasn't 'right'?  ( Who am i kidding; I do the same with sketches ヽ(・ω・)ﾉ  )

Oh, yeah, for sure.  Me and my ‘high fucking standards' did this.

NO.  No one in their right mind would do this.  They wouldn’t re-draw the same fucking drawing 7 times in a row and the same layer style over and over, not even changing things up to maybe get some progress.      Nobody.  Jfc.

And oh, god, that moment when you realize, it's been more than 8/9 hrs since you began and you haven't eaten or drank anything; you don't remember the last time you looked at your phone or what the hell happened to the time because last time you looked, it was 11am and now it’s 9:48pm.

Moreover, you made exactly zero progress on your project — because IDK — there’s no valid reason?  JUST COULDN'T STOP HA

I never thought I would talk about this, but uh, Y'all know how much I love han.  I want Han to be seen in the best light possible.  while SW has been one of the few things that have held a light in my life, he's helped me become a better person in more ways than I can articulate.  and no, I don't mean I suddenly started picking trash up off the highways.

I mean, by writing him in this amazing place filled with people I don’t have IRL who share my interests, I’ve met so many new people, friends, learned so many lessons, about characters and life and writing.  

When I began writing Han, here, I had just learned what present and past tense was in English.  I was winging my writing, trying really hard to understand.  English isn't my first language.  In Cantonese, my native language, there's no such thing as a past tense.  

By writing Han with you guys, I've taken huge steps in life, without even realizing it. 

So, everything I do for han, I want for it to be good.  

Not outstanding, and definitely not exemplary or nonpareil — just ... good. 

And icons — haha.  I love icons.  I love and hate making them.  similar to my writing, I work very hard on his icons.  ... but I need to learn where to draw the line.  

I once remade an icon 23 times before I was happy with it.  ( i had 23 versions left in my folder lmao ).  like these here?  10 versions of each, in the least. 

( the last one is kinda an exception... I think.  I made that one well over 25 times, for sure.  but I think it's because I'm not accustomed to Blaine's coloring yet. ) 

Wow, this really turned into a long post.  I don't really care, though.  My OCD is something that has always been completely ignored IRL.  Shit, it's ignored by even my online friends.  I can't even game online without one of them thinking I must get off on establishing my superiority and overall knowledge of '???’ game.  Haha.

'Show me your build?' :D 'Er...nah. I think I'll pass.' 'Why?  What's the matter?' 'You'll pick it apart.'

It's never considered 'advice' when it's from me.  It's me as a know-it-all, as someone who looks down on others for not having up-to-par stats. 

I'm sorry I did the math for you so you wouldn't have to.  This is simply advice you're free to toss aside, but it's not like it matters.  Even if I reassured that—you're already too annoyed to listen for any longer.

So, I’ll also apologize for how I can recall faction modifiers, body part modifiers, critical hit and stealth modifiers, as well as debuffs; how a certain amount of damage of one type turns into inflicted damage to a target while considering type modifiers and armor, and knowing the damage formulas needed to calculate the number of hit points required to kill an armored or unarmored target, with or without a finisher multiplier figured in — because I want you to do the very best with your weapon of choice, even though I can name 5 different weapons that utterly outclass it by tenfold. 

In reality, I never had much of choice.  Information like that doesn't stop looping in my mind, even at night, when all I want is to sleep.

Sometimes ... I wish I could be that one character on a comedy show who has a quirky disorder or ''OCD'' and everyone seems to love him for it because he's funny when he does it or he's generally helpful 

More often than not, my OCD just ruins everything.  I don't feel like I belong anywhere.

I need to take a breather.

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 5X19 Hammer of the Gods

dear LORD I ate too much

ok we're back on track whee

oho creepy plant

this poor guys is DEAD

oh it's an angel?

ooo a nice motel?

boy they look so wrecked haha

ah the PIE

there's something off here, right?

RIGHT?

Sam's not sleeping either oof

"night off" uh are YOU SURE aBOUT THAT

"I'm young at heart" HAHA

well that was quite the THUNK

"the elysian fields" wait

right so they're greek

basically a nice garden, it's like the afterlife

this feels like that one hotel in percy jackson

the same nick as Dean hm

heh the disappearing elephant

ah of course she's evil

~you can check out anytime you like BUT YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE~~

"please be tomato soup" *sees eyeballs*

the unison grimace was fun

ah yes the ages old "somebody behind me"

oh lovely it's gods

there's NO Way this goes poorly

"gods?" AHAH

oh yeah you're screwed

ah they don't want the apocalypse either, because they get fucked over too

THEY ARGUE OVER WHO'S APOCALYPSE IS RIGHT AHAHAHA

that was a good effort guys

you try reasoning with angels just try it

GABRIEL!!!

HE SHUTS THEM UP SO HE CAN DO THE TALKING I LOVE HIM

Baldur..OH THE GUY HE KILLED

THEY'RE SO SHOOKEN UP OH MY GOD AHAHA

AHAHAAH

Gabriel is such a little shit

him and Dean are fun

"I don't care" ha sure

OH WAIT T H A T ' S KALI?? THAT'S THE KALI FROM THE FANFICS??

KALI THE D E S T R O Y E R ?

yeah ok no she's SO hot

ah he's trying to save her

ooo LEVERAGE

boy they're so chill with him

aw Gabe gets his romance

ah she got him Damn

the GHOSTFACERS? WHAT THE F UC CK?

is this..Gabriel processing? what the fuck?

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS W H A T

WAS IT AN ACTUAL CW AD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EPISODE?

Gabriel...oh god ur so screwed

all of you are so screwed

"you're the youngest religion, what do you mean you're tearing the world apart"

NO

NO GABRIEL NO

SAM IS PANICKING TOO

yeah this is clearly supposed to be the end

ah summon into the vessel and then kill ok

hey at least he got them out

GABRIEL!! HE'S ALIVE

I am way too attached to this fucker

GABRIEL AND DEAN! SAME COPING MECHANISMS!

"they're your family" o p e

oh there's lucifer

boy he does NOT Look good

...of course he doesn't like the pagans

jesus christ Lucifer is actually iNCREDIBLY THREATENING

rights are taken not given huh

oh jesus Baldur's fucking dead

KALI! FIRE POWER!

GABRIEL

L U C Y

I love squad

you puritanical BASTARD

"I love you but BOY DO YOU SUCK"

..that'S DEAN'S LINE HOLY SHIT

the "they're flawed but a lot of them try to do better instead of covering it up" is SO COOL

"I'm loyal to people" YES GET EM GABRIEL

"don't make me do this" "no one makes us do anything"

no NO NO COME ON NOT AGAIN

NO THE WINGS

no THAT MEANS IT WORKED NO BUT HE COMES BACK?

THERE ARE FIVE MORE MINUTES LEFT?

oh

oh it's Gabriel's recorded DVD version

w h y

he hid it

"if you're watching this I'm dead" and it doesn't even feel like that cliche

THE RINGS A H

he gives them the intel

THEIR FACES

pestilence and death huh

Death's the big boss so it's pestilence next

new flu virus huh

yeah this one isn't gonna be pretty huh

e w

his license plate is sick n tired

lovely

ok

1. GABRIEL and Dean! Ok so I feel like they have similar responses to family, or something like that. Like Dean's a lot better at understanding the dealing with complicated relationships with family members, and both mask it with jokes and they both care about a lot of people but are bad at expressing it. Like ok, back to Dean's charisma. He's got like...no social skills, but he has faith in...people? the concept of family? and that wins people over. It got Gabriel to repeat the words and stand up to his family at least. (also yeah could be lazy writing but I feel like they're written to be similar on purpose?)

2. religions. Ok yeah, I feel like there's something to be said about the other religions, and about how judeo-christianity kinda tried to take everything over, and how there's a lot of stuff still there. Hell, you can make everything a Tulpa and say that they're no longer as believed in so that's why they're so weak. And they clung to the vestiges of their power, while the other guys managed to get ahold of power and Spread.

...huh that "take power" line really escalates huh.

3. I feel like siblings in there. Like that idea of "I love you but you SUCK." the sibling bickering, the "grow up." like...I don't know, that death scene was painful, and a lot of it feels(is) sibling rivalry. Like that's what pushed the angels to this, but since they refuse to accept that they can get better, they never change. I think that was Gabriel's point.

4. something about the horsemen. Like this is just a classic Chekov's gun thing, but also the way they've stylized every horseman is...like Very Supernatural, but it's interesting. Like it's very clear what they're doing and I can even see the good omens inspiration(red vehicle for War is the best example) but it's interesting to see how the vibe of the show impacts their visual style. Because they're there to be antagonists and not much else, so it's vibe we go for I think.

5. GABRIEL. I LOVE THIS CHARACTER! TRICKSTER ARCHETYPE THAT KEEPS RUNNING AWAY! HE HAS ALL THESE IDENTITIES! HE EVENTUALLY EMBRACES THE OTHERS BECAUSE THEY TRY AND CHANGE AND ADAPT! HE STANDS UP TO HIS BROTHER! TELLS HIM TO GROW UP! TELLS SAM AND DEAN INTEL AND GIVES THEM A CLEAR GOAL TO FOLLOW THE REST OF THE SEASON WHEN THEY HAD NO PURPOSE! GODDAMN I L O V E GABRIEL!

6. The way they weren't able to deal with the pagans at ALL, and how they panicked, and the cool as hell visuals with the name tags. God I want more pagan imagery, that shit was COOL, and it makes sense! all these different cultures in America, where are the pagans? and then of course they got taken over because apocalypse

also funny, this episode was funny

actually

7. you can tell this was the planned final season. Gabriel dying, the pagans being introduced to establish stakes, the just...sheer...done-ness of the characters. Everything's being wrapped up in it's own way. Also, it makes me sad we didn't get any before this. There's so much stuff there.

EDIT: OK I FIGURED OUT WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY WITH THE PAGANS!

Other than like…the same reason for Dean and Sam, and then ig cas but that’s mostly daddy issues, we don’t have any non nebulous ideas as to why apocalypse bad. We see all the angels give their two cents, and all with varying degrees of belief in that cause(or just going absolutely batshit), and then here we had the pagans(and Gabriel) giving clear, tangible reasons as to why not, they had their own two cents to give, and they were their own form of compelling/washed up. Like…one of them! Maybe kali shows back up again! They were a new perspective, that clearly said no apocalypse, like Gabriel but slightly not! It would have been cool!! They had an interesting plot that ties in with the themes of abandonment, and there wasn’t enough in there! More Gabriel and the pagans would have been Epic!!

This is incoherent I'm sorry

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 5X18 Point of No Return

huh oh

ahaha zach got fired

the end of the world probably felt like it then tbh

he's taking this SO well you guys

MY BOSS AHAHA

OH MY GOD IT'S THE FUCKING GIF

boy this really went to show how little angels care about humanity huh

those men are so fucking DEAD

this...this does kinda read like a suicide actually

this is INCREDIBLY fucked what the hell

...JAKE ABEL?

IS ADAM IN THIS ONE? WHAT?

boy you really thought that would work

they do have nothing

ah he's wearing blue

and not the jacket hm

CAS

THIS IS AN INTERVENTION DEAN

"you're not my father" DEAN THAT'S NOT GONNA MAKE THEM STOP IT'S GONNA MAKE IT WORSE

Bobby is in DARK places too jeez

boy this is awkward

ya I see the Sastiel now

oh my god it's a callback to lazarus rising

KNIFE FLIP

I went back to look at knife flip

boy he's GOOD AT FIGHTING

god I hope they didn't actually bury him too

ADAM?

Rib sigils! now ur one of the siblings!

oh my god he doesn't remember

boy this must be a fun sell

ah yes you get the family outfit of FLANNEL

aHA DEAN TRIES TO BE THE COOL BIG BROTHER

ah he counts too

"maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be able to withstand them" "bite me" AHAHAH

"uh cuz they're angels"

AHAHA DEAN AND ADAM ARE LITTLE SHITS

Dean's funny when he's fucking Losing it

sarcastic lil shit

ah hold the mom hostage

DEAN HALF SMILES AGAIN

they're all like "yeah that tracks"

SAM GETS TO BE THE ASSHOLE BIG BROTHER IM CACKLING

so he was INCREDIBLY absent for Adam too! yay!

john winchester I FUCKING HATE YOU

"last person who looked at me like that..I got laid" WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE INTENT HERE

WAS IT A JOKE? I DON'T UNDERSTAND

"I don't believe in you" ah jEESUS

"you're angry and self-righteous" and you hate yourself! opposite problems!

Bobby is...trying...so hard

oh my GOD DEAN

DEAN THAT WAS R U D E

he really doesn't wanna be helped huh

"then cuff him to your chair" ahaha

ah zach got to him uh oh

"erotically codependent" WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THAT WAS Y O U R FAULT

THE END IS NEAR

AHAHA CAS IS PISSED

I...I don't understand

what the intent was

OH MY GOD DEAN LOOKS SO FUCKED

"what happened to him" "me" AHAHAH

IT'S THE SET! FROM SEASON 4!!

ah Adam was simply the bait

~Illegitimate half brother of the one we care about~ oh my god Zach

yeah angels are dicks welcome to the club adam

just...cough up blood...just..

dammit zach

"don't piss off the nerd angels" I feel like you enjoyed that

no they're right this is a godawful idea

distrust of ur kid vs faith in ur parent

I really hate this metaphor it works so well

THE STRUT WITH THE TRENCHCOAT

"I don't have the same faith in you that sam does" oh my god the prolonged eye contact

Cas you are JUST As bad

knifeflipknifeflipknifeflip

JESUS FUCK HE SIGILED HIMSELF

Castiel you fucking moron

aw Adam

big bro Dean!

your hemmoraging brothers

no you see he's stubborn

...does he do it

there's...is that it?

there has to be a plan

smirk?

smirk??

HE GOT HIM!

oh I love the smoking wings I do love that

nOO OH COME ON NOT ADAM! NOT AGAIN

I JUST WANT THEM TO BE A SQUAD I'M SO SAD

"but we'll get them" that's nice

"the damndest thing changed my mind" seriously

the metaphor

aw "don't wanna let you down"

this ... yeah this reads like a parent letting their kid go speech

i hate this metaphor

hey! he's back!

aw Sam's so happy

ok

1. once you read the thing as "Dean is Sam's parent and Sam is Dean's kid"...everything about their dynamic makes...an uncomfortable amount of sense. Like pile in a bit of sibling, but it's mostly that unhealthiness there

2. cas and dean are...I...There's ways to interpret it, sure, but .... like cmon some of that stuff is just so fucking blatant

3. God I want Adam to come in and have them be a squad. I think it would be SO funny

4. Angel death is still cool

5. I love Cas

6. Bobby I am so sorry your kids are traumatized little shits

7. Saying yes to Michael playing out as kinda a suicide metaphor is...really kinda messed up, right? I'm not the only one that thinks that?