#yeah come to me for movie reviews and all i give you is the vibe i felt

[wanderingwomanwondering]

Maddie’s word choice when Buck told her about his date with Tommy in 705 was so gentle and supportive, as we’ve all discussed. But her words were also SO SLICK!!!

She was treading lightly because she of course knew that this was a sensitive time for Buck AND she also did some math in her head over the course of the conversation and realized that there’s a piece of the equation that Buck is missing. She couldn’t just give Buck the answer though. Some puzzles he’s gotta work out on his own.

So. Looking more closely at the actual dialogue…

Buck gives Maddie the rundown of the evening’s happenings. Maddie notices the date’s pronoun. Then:

Buck: Yeah, okay, I was on a date with a guy. Again, not-not really the point.

Maddie: Mmm, it could very much be the point.

Remember, Buck is upset with himself for lying to Eddie *and doesn’t understand why he did that* He thinks it’s about dating a man in general. I think Maddie suspects it’s actually about Buck’s unrealized/unexpressed feelings for Eddie. The lie Buck is reeling over probably isn’t about dating a man, but about dating the wrong man.

Back to the conversation. Buck explains his allyship, then:

Maddie: So-so now you’re more than an ally?

Buck: It was my first time, it was dinner and a movie, and I - I didn’t even make it to the movie.

Maddie is following Buck’s reasoning in the ally part of the conversation, but clearly not quite vibing with parts of it. She’s in support mode, basically honoring Buck’s process and his journey. But still trying to navigate her own in the moment reactions without freaking Buck out. Treading lightly.

After Buck’s last remark above, cue Maddie’s haunted facial expression in which she clearly reviews countless past events and conversations with Buck in light of his new discovery about himself:

Maddie: Wow.

Buck: What, ‘wow’?

Maddie: No, not ‘wow’. Like, ‘Wow. I didn’t think that’s where your interests would lie.”

From my perspective she clearly and firmly rejected the ‘wow, you’re queer, what the hell. Way to be a massive enigma little brother’ interpretation…because obviously she would reject that. But that second clarification ‘wow’ doesn’t mean what Buck thought it meant. I honestly do NOT think she was saying ‘I didn’t think/know that you might be into guys too’.

Maddie is basically Buck mom for all intents and purposes, and she knows him well. To be fair, most people close to Buck know him better than he knows himself in key ways so with Maddie’s canon comments about Buck’s sexuality over the years, there’s no way she didn’t have her hunches. Period. What I think Maddie actually meant was that she didn’t think Buck had eyes for any guy but Eddie at this point. After doing the new math in her head real quick, of course.

I think that tracks with what she said a little later and how she said it:

Maddie: Okay, I don’t think you’re a fraud, I just think that maybe you’re not sure of your own feelings yet. And if there’s something that you need to tell Eddie, you will. Just, in your own time.

Between that line and her facial expressions, Maddie was on a damn journey! Imho it took everything in her to not just say ‘Wait what?! Eddie is your person my guy let’s be so for real right now’. She was a mix of confused and exasperated in the home stretch of that conversation lol. Still she showed up, met Buck where he was at, and supported him.

Then to top off that whole ‘coming out’ and ‘feeling like a fraud’ scene, Maddie says to Buck “so tell me about the hot pilot” and the scene immediately transitions to Eddie in bed with Marisol. Yeah, Eddie is the hot pilot in question. Buck just hasn’t figured it out yet, and Maddie realizes **all of that** now!

[hey-hey-j]

skipped yesterday because I had an appointment in the morning and frankly I just didn't feel like sitting down and watching this movie again but.

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World. I feel like I'm losing my mind because this movie is sooooooo bad in how it spits in the face of everything the first movie stood for yet every time I look up reviews everyone and their mother is praising this movie like it's the second coming of christ and am I going insane here? Am I the crazy one for thinking this movie is garbage?? I'm half convinced that a large part of those positive reviews are blinded by love for the original movie and by the supposedly ""breathtaking"" animation because if you actually sit down and pick apart the story??

I've rarely seen a film series that wastes its audience's time like How to Train Your Dragon. The first movie is a sweet little story about the beautiful unlikely friendship between a lonely teenager and an even lonelier dragon and I can see why so many people vibed with it! And then the sequels proceed to throw that lovely little story back in the viewer's face and say "SIKE! NEVERMIND! NONE OF THIS MATTERS IN THE END! HICCUP WAS WRONG ALL ALONG, TOOTHLESS IS GOING TO ABANDON HIM FOR A GIRL, AND YOU WERE STUPID FOR BELIEVING THINGS COULD CHANGE!!" Like?? What a stupid message to be sending, and for what?? For the sake of giving the movies the same ending as the books?? THE MOVIES AND THE BOOKS ARE TWO FUNDAMENTALLY DIFFERENT STORIES!! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR THEM TO END THE SAME WAY!! At WHAT point were the movies building towards a "all the dragons disappear" ending, did I miss that?? Did I fall asleep during that setup because I can't seem to find it!! And on top of that, this movie is just BORING!! Soooooo many segments just drag ON and get SO REPETITIVE like DAMN just get ON WITH IT ALREADY I WANT TO WATCH SOMETHING ELSE!!!

the only reason this movie is higher up than Shark Tale and Shrek the Third is because it is objectively a more competently made movie, and because I genuinely really like the little moments of casual affection between Hiccup and Astrid. I can believe that these are two people who have been together for six years and care for each other deeply. I also don't care much for the Light Fury but I kinda like the montage of Toothless trying to woo her, it's charming it gets a few decent chuckles out of me.

so yeah. Hidden World bad, this is the last time I ever want to talk about this movie.

[rosetheocto]

My Rants and Reviews on the Failtopia S2 Finale Outfits!

this post was inspired by the one made by @cosmo-production so please check out their post too! my review is under the cut

Major Failtopia Season 2 spoilers ahead!

Mar

yeah it’s the basic one, but i think that fits him! If I had to pick another outfit it would be the Pro one, but I genuinely can’t see him in anything else other than the boring chef outfit. I feel like if he wanted to change it he def could (I mean look at his imp outfit) but the basic chef outfit is very solid for him! If it ain’t broke don’t fix it! 7/10

Orion

I know the outfit is very clashing and has a bunch of colors, but in Dan’s defense: Orion’s makeup already has a bunch of colors, and when you look into it the colors the outfit has actually matches with the makeup a bit! and also, I kinda wish Dan didn’t have the makeup be as out there for the sake of those drawing fanart, but at the same time this is Daniel Failboat. Insane designs are expected. That being said though, I can’t change the clothes or makeup even if you forced me to. the context for it is just so freakin cute!! we all love great fathers in this household. He makes me wish I had a meaningful relationship with my dad. 6/10

Friend

I like it! I have a few minor gripes though. This may be a bit of a hot take, but I don’t like Zone (the hat) or Ship (the staff). Not in the Finale at least. I think Friend should’ve removed them both to show that they’ve moved on and don’t need something like Lee anymore. Symbolism and character arcs and all that other fancy stuff idk. Also I like that she looks more like a priest than a Cleric, it makes sense! He’s really religious in-universe and their war cry is literally “die, sinner :)”, so I don’t have any problems with that! As much as I like her in purple, he looks oddly good in a black and white outfit too! 8/10

Shrimp

listen guys I’m sorry but her outfit kinda sucks.. the bright pink hearts don’t really give off the same vibes as her first outfit did.. I get where Dan was coming from with it but I just personally don’t like the design :((

I think that he should’ve went with the emo goth outfit for her instead, especially since it fit her more and the fandom latched onto it like a moth to a light, but that’s just me. it gets a free half point for matching up with Bill though, 3.5/10

Erica

look I love it but the actual armor part is so overdesigned. I hate drawing that thing. that’s my only problem though the rest of her outfit is cool as hell!! Let’s go lesbians. 8/10

(and this doesn’t really count for anything, but don’t like her weapon, again I get the idea Dan, but she realistically would NOT use the giant arm 😭)

Chi

This kind of outfit fits her so well omfg. The stupid bowtie? The short sleeves and general lack of lab safety?? The triangle patterns??? It all just screams “Chi” to me! Thank you Miitopia for creating this outfit. Flawless. 10/10

(also another weapon mention, her using the ketchup bottle in the finale?? as someone who is obsessed with S1 of this series, Daniel, ty sm for including that.)

C!Failboat

the catsuit is very boring, but it is also very iconic. I like it. I’d give it a solid 7/10. But I don’t wanna talk about that one. I wanna talk about his outfit when using the Power of the Scythe.

oh my lord. this outfit. this is not me dunking on Daniel or Wafferscotch at all, I genuinely love their art and content!! but like. you’re telling me this man saved the universe in tracksuit sweatpants and an open button up shirt WITH HIS OWN MERCH ON??? He killed god in the Bee Movie shoes?? The Piss Adidas??? It just. doesn’t really fit the Miitopia vibes to me, and I think this could’ve been better as an outfit for ACNH. It could’ve looked much worse, but still. I think it’s a 3/10

Bo

perfect. love the callback to Rose (and I mean, they’re very similar characters, so it makes sense!) She also looks cool af in a suit. her new look can be strange at first but you 100% get used to it with time. And her multiclass was just chefs kiss. Absolute goddess, let’s go lesbians. 10/10

Chat

very good. very iconic. so glad this series came out before the Kirby Era cuz i think the lips would’ve ruined it. 10/10

Big Bill

It looks really comfortable!! I want this robe irl, I like the patterns! I surprisingly really like the pink for Bill! It stands out compared the rest of his appearance and I think that’s really cool!! the dark blue also fits him really well!! Half point bonus for matching with Shrimp. 9.5/10

Void

GOD TIER!! PEAK DESIGN!!! We all love Void in this household. 20/10

[kristiemewisstan]

The Tortured Poets Department Unhinged First Listen Review:

Fortnight-

NEEDS MORE POSTY, we love a “I wanna kill her”, this one MIGHT BE about Matty Healy lol “I touched you for only a fortnight”

The Tortured Poets Department-

“WHO USES TYPEWRITERS ANYWAY” YOU BITCH ITS YOU LOL, Charlie Puth name drop 🤨 oh god so many name drops, THIS BRIDGE, not the wedding ring…

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys-

THERE WAS A LITANY OF REASONS WHY WE SHOULDVE PLAYED FOR KEEPS THIS TIME my jaw literally dropped the entire last verse

Down Bad-

“Everything comes up teenage petulance” this one is cringy but in a way I love, Taylor Is Very Much A Down Bad Girlie

So Long, London-

this song is tachycardic I PROMISE I MADE THIS JOKE BEFORE “STOPPED CPR”, two graves one gun I SWORE THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT WHERE WAS THE CLUES damn she’s really sad to lose London huh

But Daddy I Love Him-

this would have a cool music video “she’s was chaos he was revelry” this is if red and the 1975 had a child that’s the vibe

Fresh Out the Slammer-

Okay so this is the “I just realized how bad this relationship truly was and thank god I’m out of it”, okay the weird slow down stuff wasn’t my favorite thing

Florida!!!-

I’m cackling, THE FLORENCE VERSE IS SO GOOD I think that this is just a Florence and the machine song it sounds so like them

Guilty as Sin?-

Okay this is the first one I’ve been like “oooooo I really like this one” “what if I roll the stone away, they’re gonna crucify me anyway” DAMN some religious imagery will always get me right in the trauma

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?-

This one has a lot of the brain scratching pauses “don’t you worry folks we took out all her teeth” oof this song is just really angry

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)-

Cowboy Like Me but they don’t end up happy, okay “good boy” made me giggle so apparently in a 12 year old boy

loml-

PIANO! WANT IVE WANTED THE WHOLE TIME “still alive, killin time at the cemetery, never quite buried” I’m getting a gun and flying to London, I swear “TALKING RINGS AND TALKING CRADLES 🤨” JOE ALWYN FOUND DEAD IN A DITCH “THE LOSS OF MY LOVE” COUNT YOUR DAYS JOSEPH 💀, this should’ve been track 5

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart-

hello production that is giving Barbie movie/80s vibes, this is the first one I’m certain was written recently like it was definitely written on tour, the peppy “cause I’m miserable!” Hurt Me but also same

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived-

THE BREATH ahhhhh PIANO! “I don’t even want you back I just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal” okay back half of the album is eating, THE PICKUP, SPEAK NOW VIBES BUT MOM IS OLDER AND MADDER

The Alchemy-

ok ok ok “I circled you on a map I haven’t come around in so long but I’m coming back so strong” fucking meant,👌 touchdown mention lmao, okay this is SO ABOUT TRAVIS 🥹🥰

Clara Bow-

Best production on the album in the first 10 seconds, BEAUTY IS THE BEAST THAT ROSE, WAIT WHAT????? “You look like Taylor Swift” yeah queen because you are lol, It’s so people can make the audio of her singing all the album names lmao

First Overall Listen- 7/10

I was getting nervous in the front half but the back half more than made up for it

The vibe was just off at the start and honestly that’s probably a me thing and will get better with further listens

The lyrics were amazing as always

Production was okay, some of the songs were perfect and some had me going 🤨

Charlie Puth

Top 3 in no particular order (apparently I like songs that hurt me):

Guilty as Sin?

loml

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

[dg-outlaw]

'The Penguin - Episode 1: After Hours' Review/Thoughts

** Mild Spoilers Ahead **

So I'll start off by saying, I'm not a big fan of mobster/drug lord movies and shows. Same goes for the rich people/corporate shows like Succession or Billions. Basically, if the general premise is; these people are rich and/or powerful, come watch them betray, kill, and/or be assholes to other people and one another to achieve and maintain that wealth or power, and there's likely to be no justice had... then yeah, not for me. If anything, watching Netflix's The Fall of the House of Usher (2023) was more about catharsis than entertainment for me. IYKYK.

Obviously, I know there's more nuance than that when it comes to many of these shows and movies as there's also outstanding performances and interesting storylines, but something about them reminding me of the injustices and/or corporate greed of the real world just puts me off most of the time. If I'm going to watch media like that then I usually have to be in a certain mood for it or I'm hooked by the characters.

Early previews of The Penguin gave me the same mobster vibe as many crime shows. There will be no heroes, no Batman, and likely no real justice, but being in the Batman and Matt Reeves Bat-verse, I wanted to give it a shot.

Is The Penguin different from other mobster crime shows? Yes and no. No, in that it still has all the mobster show flavor and if it weren't in the Batman world, I'd maybe give it a pass, but because it is Batman and Gotham, then yes, there's enough interesting flavor here to keep me wanting to see what happens next.

If you're not aware, this series takes place soon after the events of Matt Reeves' The Batman (2022). Carmine Falcone is dead, Gotham is still recovering from the flood caused by The Riddler, though it seems the parts of Gotham mostly affected and still in disarray are the lower-income areas, and Batman is... probably napping? IDK, but it'll be interesting to see how Batman gets interwoven into this series or is generally not present.

Colin Farrell returns as Oswald Cobblepot/The Penguin... or as he's referenced in the series, Oz Cobb, and he's looking to make a name for himself.

Without getting into the details (as there are likely a million legit summary reviews of Episode 1 online now), Oz quickly sets things in motion that starts a series of dominoes falling that may or may not result in his downfall before he even begins his climb to the top of the crime world, and I guess this is where the show finds its intrigue. In my mind, it's very Breaking Bad in the sense that you keep watching just to see what happens next. Will our protagonist get caught and meet a horrible fate or will they actually get away with it and achieve their goals... and at what cost? And why am I rooting for the bad guy? But instead of just fumbling down into the depths of the crime world like Walter White, Oz wants this, he wants to be on top, but the question is, has he bitten off more than he can chew or will he finally take hold of the brass ring?

Ultimately, I think it's the Gotham world and characters that has me wanting to see more and to see how it all plays out. This is not to say that the performances aren't great or the characters aren't intriguing, and Cristin Milioti as Sofia Falcone is definitely scary, even if she's not comically accurate as a some giant mountain of a woman, but again, part of this is knowing the characters from comics and other media depictions. I don't need the full Penguin backstory or to know all about the Falcones and Maronis, the comics and other media have done that setup already, but it does help with investment IMO.

Also, I love the grime of this Gotham and also how it's contrasted with the wealth and cleanliness of other parts of Gotham, especially outside of downtown. The creators understood the assignment for this show and it definitely plays a part when it comes to motivations. This Gotham isn't one note and I'm glad that it doesn't look like some clean set that takes you out of the world and reminds you that you're watching a TV show, like so many streaming shows and movies do nowadays. Yes, there's violence and language and Farrell, once again, disappears into the role of Penguin, but there's also some humor in this show. The humor fits and doesn't feel forced, but it also allows the audience to breathe for a moment and enjoy the experience.

So, I think if you're a Batman fan, you know these characters a little bit, and you want to go into a show that is likely to not have Batman or any other heroes, I say, jump in and enjoy. But if you're not as familiar or are a casual fan, and you're not really into crime/mobster shows, then this might not be for you.

Also, new canon (I think?) that The Penguin is a fan of Dolly Parton or at least has a mix CD of 'Go out there and get it' songs, is so fun. I still HC that Parton's "9 to 5" is a Duke Thomas song he plays every morning before getting ready for patrol, but having that little extra character note for The Penguin was a nice touch and gave a new character, Victor, a little more insight into his new boss.

[lookismaddict]

Lookism Chapter 435 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)

Not much happened here, so Imma keep this short and simple.

Nah mf, you lied.

Ohhhh shit, the return of Zack 2.5!!! 😳 (2.5 because Zack got a glow-up and got stronger. So that’s his 2.0. Plus, Kwak Jihan is like, HALF of Zack here. 2nd half is Gun.) The “Kya~” 💀 AND OFC DANIEL WOULD PULL IT OFF. HE ISN’T ONE OF YOUR SIDE-CHICK LACKIES BRO. 😭

Um… because he can? Why? Is Jinyoung your side hoe? Like… why are you all over his di-

Goddamn, that bite mark tho and those scars on his chest. Can I just…

“Lord” ? Oh “Lord”, I knew he had some type of praising kink- 💀💀💀💀

You already know that guys who drink makgeolli like this are actual freaks. Like… it’s obvious. 💀 Bruh I really wanna try makgeolli. I wonder if it tastes sweeter than straight soju or something…

Also, same pot? 👀

Bro... what the fu... When did this arc turn into a whole horror movie? 😭😭😭

*WARNING: IF YOU GET SCARED EASILY, THEN I SUGGEST YOU GO HOME FOR THIS ONE. SCROLL DOWN AND DON'T LOOK!!!*

OOMFASKDJFHASDKJFHASDFJHASDFIAHFIEWHFIERHQWEIFHQWEIFHQWEFIOQWHQWHQFUHQWERFUQHE4FUIQ4H DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE, WTF?!?!!?!?!? I JUST GOT JUMPSCARED WHILE READING THIS CHAPTER. WTH MAN. I DIDN'T KNOW WE GOING BACK TO THE CULT ARC. TF???

AND BROOOO WHAT IS THIS, THE MANDELA CATALOGUE????? PTJ PUTTING ALTERNATES NOW IN HIS CHAPTER??? (I love that channel btw and I love Analog horror. 🖤) PERO HNNNNNGGGGGHHHH WTFFFFFFFFF!!!

NAH, FUCK YOU!! YOU AND THAT PET HOARDER FROM THAT ONE ARC SHOULD BE BESTIES, BC WTFFFFFF. YOU GUYS ARE SCARY AF. I'LL YEET YOU INTO THE PILE OF PSYCHOS BRUV. YOU GOING IN WITH THE WHOLE ENTIRE DOG GOD CULT, DANIEL'S STALKER, ZOE'S STALKER, AND THE REST OF THEM. ALL OF YOU, GET INTO THE PIT AND BURN IN THE FLAMES OF HELL!!!

PTJ really giving us these angles man, sheesh... Man's wearing BAPE TOO? Bape underwear bruv. I can't- 💀 These mf's flexing on us, even with expensive underwear on. I'm dying in the inside.

Bitch you thought. (Also, he's giving me Gun vibes here. Shiiiiiiiiiiiit... Calm down, my feral ass, it's NOT HIM...)

AWWWW NOT THE DOGS GIVING HIM THE SCARED SIDE-EYES. 😭😭😭 (But nah, they really were all talk, barking and shiii. ALL BARK, BUT NO BITE. SMH 😤)

Yeah, you're all going to get GOT. Say your prayers now. 🙏🏽

OK, THAT'S YOUR FAULT FOR UNDERESTIMATING HIM THO. LIKE SORRY BABE, YOU DIDN'T GET THE MEMO??? 🙄 (Also, damn. If you were planning to break your phone in the first place, you should've just given it to me. I really needed a new one... 👁👄👁)

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO SHIIIIIIIIIIIT, WE GOT BACKUP?????? 👀

OHHHHH SHIIIIIISDFKJASHDFKJDHFHKSDHF IT'S HUDSONNNNN!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGG I NEVER EXPECTED TO FEEL HAPPINESS WHEN I JUST SAW HUDSON. LIKE BROOOOO COMING IN WITH THE CLUTCH FRFR. 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽 PERO DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN, HE REALLY BODYING ALL OF THEM. OMG IM FUCKING SQUEALING RN AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

OMGGGASHDFJASDHFJSDFHDSFDJKH. I... AM.... SCREAMINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!! JAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! 😫😫😫😫💛💛💛💛💛💛

A KING FOR NONVIOLENCE, LET'S GOOOOOO!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍 (I loved how he just shows up without having to beat up anybody. Instead, he drives his motorcycle and scares people off of cliffs. God bless his pure heart.) 💀

UGHHHHHH THIS LINE UP IS SO GOOD BRO. I'M ALREADY HYYYYYYYYYYYYYPED!!!! 😆😆😆😆😆

AAAAAAAAAALRIGHTYYYYYY, SO THIS CONCLUDES CH. 435. Holy crap, I haven't finished a review THIS early in a while. BUT ANYWAYS, I really want to know why they're getting in Daniel's way of learning more about Jinyoung Park. Like, who are they? Jinyoung's bodyguards or something? 😅 They most likely might have beef with Jinyoung, but they've been hella pressed ever since Danny boy arrived. He's just trying to find this man, just leave him alone!! 😩 But what if they joined forces in trying to find Jinyoung...? Idk, just a little afterthought in the back of my mind. They might have some sort of compromise or something. Eugene style...? 😂✨ Anything is possible at this point

Also, "short and simple" my ass. I just realized that I went overboard AGAIN.

[iwasbored777]

so ur trolls posts got me to watch trolls world tour again. i remembered liking it but i couldnt remember why, but now i know for sure

I FCUKING LOVE TROLLS WORLD TOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THE INCREDIBLE WRITERS WERE SECRETLY ON TROLLS 2 !!!!!!’n

I CANT TBINK OF A SINGLE FLAW IN TROLLS WOULD TOUR!!!!!!!

i was NOT expecting a brilliantly written masterpiece about colonialism, but thats what i got, and its going in the greatest of all time hall of fame in my brain forever.

im not gonna sit here and regale you on the message of the movie. they only said fax, no printer, and its an important message to send kids. alot of the messages kids get about races and borders is “we are all the same 😚” but they came in with the “we are NOT the same and that is both good and bad, both exciting and dangerous so you need to be aware of dangerous ideas of “harmony”” and thats so real. kids need to understand differences are OK.

i love how they backed off the “chosen one” vibe poppy had in the first movie and talked about her flaws as a leader. while her stubborness was a good thing in the first movie to contrast branches pessimistic nature, it wouldnt have worked here, and i can see a cheap writer (like m*chael w*ldron) either insisting she gets away with her selfishness and carrying on with the happy ending anyway, or pretending that wasnt a character trait at all (because w*ldron doesnt watch the first movie and writes a sequel anyway)

my favorite scene is the bubble scene and the woods right after they leave funk where branch confronts poppy. do i even need to tell you why?

i just want to mention it because im pretty sure branch sings a cover of “girl crush” by little big town, which is a country band, and branch said he likes country music earlier and that slays. but when poppy comes in, what they sing is definitley not girl crush, and i cant tell if its giving “trolls can mix music” or im completley wrong and its a different song alltogether. but i cant tell if that song is homophobic or is super gay, so if im wrong thats prob for the best.

the only flaw i can think of is the country music, as a midwestern i can confidently say that was an affront to real blue grass country music. i guess born to die “works” but it didnt represent country as well as the other genres did. theres alot of controversy in the country music fandom with alot of singers who sound exactly the same and produced like its a factory line. but even if people still think miranda lambert and carrie underwood arent true country singers, their songs wouldve worked better than born to die. also the country trolls shouldve been on a self sufficient farm instead of the wild west. that wild western jazzy piano and country music isnt the same.

the only bad part about the movie is that it ended and barb ATE. SHE LEFT NO CRUMBS WITH THAT INTRO. send ask.

Lol I love your review. I love Trolls World Tour a lot too and all their other movies. Great stuff.

And yeah I love Poppy and how she can accomplish A LOT but she doesn't make it on her own, she needs character development and help from others just like everyone else. Characters are surprisingly realistic.

Barb really was goat, the best antagonist in the franchise. I love parallels between her and Poppy, how both had different intentions (Poppy wanted to help and Barb wanted to conquer) but Poppy's method was also wrong and both Poppy and Barb and everyone had to make compromises for all tribes to live in harmony because no one has to change their lifestyle for that to happen, all they have to do is accept that they're different and that's perfect. Just be yourself and let others be themselves.

That song in the end (Just Sing) slaps hard (and so does Can't Stop The Feeling btw).

P.S. Tiny Diamond fucking slays 🔥🔥🔥

[purplekoop]

FINALLY saw Mutant Mayhem, and it was really good!!! I might wanna give it a second watch later along with other Turtle stuff rewatches and do a more in-depth review then, but I'll say the spoiler-free highlights now.

The obvious striking thing is the film visual style, which going in I knew broadly as "like Spider-verse", but that feels like a gross oversimplification for this movie's fantastic look. It's a mix between grungy realism, rough sketchiness (my mom said it looked like one of my drawings, which, yeah I'll take it), and oddly some vague claymation vibes? The turtles especially feel like chunky molded clay in the best way. It's a super cool style that definitely stands out on its own but still feels thoroughly Ninja Turtles despite not quite looking like any one individual prior incarnation. A bit of 2012 with the grungy blockiness, a bit of Rise with the vibrant expressive animation, and a heaping dosage of just general "this would've been the coolest thing ever in the 80's."

Other major high point is just how... exceptionally pleasant the movie is. It's arguably the most light-hearted Turtles incarnation to date, even beating out Rise in terms of friendly vibes... well, barring the bottom-shelf swears and on-screen puke, personally could've gone without the latter but oh well. From the moment we see the turtles we get to see how much this movie appreciates the mundane, with dialogue, visual details, and quick gags that just... I dunno, feel natural? Like, this movie pulls of an astounding amount of reference humor that feels like it'd be irritating if it weren't so believably honest. Yeah, if they were teenage brothers they would say Mikey's head looks like a mix between Hey Arnold and Stewie Griffin. Of course they would. Also the "cringy" music choices rubbed me the right way too, again this movie's tone is so sincere that I can't help but love these too. My mom also specifically cited this as a high point. The "pleasant vibes" praise extends throughout the movie, but I think going fully in-depth on that point would require spoilers. Rest assured, this movie's an exceptionally feel-good watch.

I guess only critique is one I saw coming but because I was dodging spoilers I didn't have the full expectations for. I heard vaguely that there were gonna be a lot of classic mutants showing up for this movie, hence the title I suppose, but I was worried it was gonna be a Spider-Man 3 kind of situation where it'd be constant bad guys that don't leave much individual impact. Which... is both true and not true for this movie. It's not THAT detrimental by any means, but I do still wish the individual characters got to do more. I like what they do get to do, but only a couple actually get to do much, even Bebop and Rocksteady barely have a few lines despite being THE mutant bad guys and having some of the biggest celebrity voices. I think maybe even two or three of them could've been cut and their presence wouldn't have been missed, but I can also appreciate the novelty that these characters probably wouldn't get a big screen debut otherwise. I dunno, maybe I'm just petty these are all classic picks and aren't new characters from my eras of turtles. Fishface for the sequel, come on folks if I believe then you can too.

On that note though, I am hoping that obvious sequel bait goes somewhere, because this movie deserves it. I wanna see this incarnation again, which... I mean I'm pretty sure did well enough to where it's already in the works? If Spider-Verse is gonna be a trilogy (still haven't seen Across yet btw) then this movie certainly deserves at least one followup.

But yeah, great movie! I think I do have to put this as my favorite TMNT movie ever now, so uh... sorry to the original two live action movies and none of the others.

(also I was gonna do a season 1 review of TMNT 2012 but I started it a while ago right as I finished it early in January but then it got overwhelming and I didn't have as much as I wanna say so I don't know what I'm doing with that yet, I might move on to season 2 but idk there's still a lot I wanna say about the show but I still don't know the format. Also expect Things I Love #4 about a completely unrelated show I'm due to finish a rewatch of soon)

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Chicken Run

Ironic that I'm reviewing this on like the same day the sequel comes out huh? Unfortunately, that one isn't being released by Dreamworks, so its not on my list but maybe I'll give it a watch on its own at some point. Anyway onto the actual movie itself!

I liked it! I remember seeing it as a kid in school and being terrified by the vibes and just how dark it was. As an adult though, I appreciate it a lot more. Ardman''s style isn't really my cup of tea (get it, bc british) but I still recognize the hard work that goes into any stop motion production. While the character designs in this are uhhhhhh kinda fugly, they way they're animated is enough to get me to look past it.

The plot and characters also help a lot! Ginger is our lead here, and she's great; stubborn and determined to help her fellow chickens escape and she doesn't put up from any bull from Rocky, the american cock (i mean he is) who crash lands on their farm and promises to "teach" them how to fly so they can escape from the crazy ass Mrs. Tweedy. Rocky is a lot of fun, very sassy as per the usual for Dreamworks protags and he goes through a decent arc in which he comes to genuinely care for Ginger and the other chickens.

Mrs. Tweedy is delightfully insane in a wicked girlboss sort of way, probably one of Dreamworks most underrated villains. She's just this looming, threatening presence hanging over all of the chickens' heads throughout the entire film, she's great. The other characters are also really fun (i love the old rooster who overtly hates Americans, man same here (I say, as an american)) I think my favorite is Babs. Her flighty, out there, just completely detatched from reality remarks had me cracking up throughout the film.

The music is pretty good, very fitting for the "army escape" vibes the film is trying to get across overall and the set pieces are genuinely impressive given the scale they were likely built at. There's a lot of really nice little details scattered throughout that make this movie's world just feel alive, ya know?

The plot itself is pretty simple, as stated above, with a few cliches like the liar revealed and said liar returning to redeem himself in the 11th hour, but I honestly don't mind them too much. I think, as a whole, Chicken Run is a fun little movie that is very well made, though I doubt I'd say its one of my favorites Dreamworks has ever made. Even so, it's pretty good. I recommend it.

Also, it made me really hungry for Chicken Pot Pies so uhhhh yeah.

Overall Rating: 7/10

Verdict: Enjoy a Delicious Mrs. Tweedy's Chicken Pie, you filthy fucking Yank

Previous Review (Road to El Dorado)

Next Review (Shrek)

[positivelybeastly]

What are your thoughts on the cerebro podcast stance on Hank?

My immediate thoughts are that I would fight Connor Goldsmith in the street.

Nah, that's an exaggeration, but I certainly don't have a lot of nice thoughts.

The biggest problem I had was that, considering those podcasts are meant to be an exhaustive, deep dive into a character, the host outright saying, oh yeah, I'm just kinda not covering anything about him from 1974 to 1986 because he isn't in X-Men comics, strikes me as an immediate admission that you don't really care about the character, you care about pushing your thoughts on the character. I immediately discount your read as bad faith, in that you refuse to confront facts over your opinion, and this is something I find, like, really depressingly common about Hank?

Hank's time on the Avengers counts. Hank's time on the Defenders counts. Hank's time with the Secret Avengers, with the Inhumans, with S.W.OR.D, in Marvel Team-Up, in issues of Spider-Man, they all count. Those appearances did still happen, even if you choose not to read them because you like staying in the X-Men hemisphere of the Marvel Universe.

And I don't blame people for doing that, god knows there's enough X-Men to read, except for when they start simultaneously wanting everything to revolve around the latest mutant tragedy but also don't want the Avengers to come anywhere near their comics because they're cops (which, what the fuck ever).

I almost think it's some kind of resentment towards Hank, that he dared to cross over to other teams. How dare he be popular in other spheres. How dare he not bleed, sweat and cry for the X-Men ever minute of every day. How very well dare he. People call him a race traitor because he sided with the Avengers in Avengers vs X-Men and was neutral during Inhumans vs. X-Men, and I really do roll my eyes at that because if you actually bother to read those books, he's actually usually talking sense and trying to be a bridge between the two parties, but he's regarded as a giga-traitor because he wasn't sucking Cyclops or Storm's dicks constantly.

Like, it's an actual fact that Hank was trying to talk the Avengers out of taking down the Phoenix Five, because he trusted the people the Phoenix was inhabiting. It's an actual fact that if he had been allowed to go back to New Attilan and explain that the Terrigen Cloud was about to start an extinction level event, Medusa would have dispersed the Cloud and avoided the whole conflict. But knowing that requires reading AvX and IvX, and people don't wanna do that, and that's fine, but if you want to start bringing that shit up in a way that makes it clear you're talking about what you remember rather than what actually happened, you best come correct, because I operate based on panels, not based on fucking vibes.

And maybe that's an exaggeration, maybe that's just sour grapes towards a fandom that's been vilifying this character since the Utopia era, but I honestly don't think it's that off base, considering how extremely weird some X-Men fans can get about the Avengers and other teams.

"WHERE WERE THE AVENGERS WHEN GENOSHA WAS BURNING - " Bro, it ain't that deep, they were saving the world from Kang. Also, this level of surface level criticism towards comic book media (you see it all the time in MCU reviews, where people ask, why didn't Dr. Strange help during this movie or this scene) just kinda bores me, because you buy X-Men to see X-Men.

Would it really make you happier if an Avenger turned up every issue to say something devastating to an anti-mutant racist and turn to the camera and give a thumbs up? No, you'd complain that they're taking up valuable panel space that could be devoted to another character's development (rightfully so), and point out that if you wanted to see Avengers, you'd read Avengers (also rightfully so).

This is all preamble to another eye roll worthy moment about the Cerebrocast, and granted, it's one that the host has said was a joke, but the whole bit about Avengers being cops . . . like, yeah, I get it, it's a joke, but you forgot to be funny about it, and it also just exposes the ignorance and bias that also leads you to state that you can totally give a legitimately informed opinion on Hank McCoy without reading a twelve year stretch where he underwent a lot of character development.

Anyway, where was I - oh yeah, so the fandom. A lot of the fandom, and I really don't think Goldsmith is immune to this, likes to operate based on vibes when it comes to Hank. They read All-New X-Men, they read X-Force, and they think they know the character, and they just like to go off, even though forming an opinion on Hank McCoy based on those runs is like having an opinion on Cyclops based on just the 90s TV show. It's not exactly a complete understanding of the character, now, is it?

And guess what? You're more than entitled to have that opinion! I don't believe in gatekeeping! What I do believe in, is staying in your lane when your understanding of a subject is demonstrably incomplete. Talk less, listen more.

People like to act like the Cerebrocast is some kind of rubber stamp, like it came down with THE FACTS on Hank McCoy, just because Connor Goldsmith had a two minute rant about the Threnody situation locked and loaded and ready to go from moment one, and, like.

I'm really glad you're passionate about Threnody, bro, someone out there has to be, but - and I hate to be this guy, I really do, but when you want to say you know Beast, you invite it - I know more about Hank McCoy than you do.

Just 'cause you've got a podcast and I don't (not about X-Men, anyway) doesn't mean you're the authority. Thanks for helping to poison the well on this character I enjoy. I can now no longer post panels of Hank being cute on Reddit because there will be at least three people talking about Threnody or X-Force or the Cerebrocast, and that's just mentally exhausting.

TL:DR - I did not enjoy the Cerebrocast episode on Hank McCoy. You should also check out this post by most beloved @brw where they cover this from the same angle, but with some different points.

[i-consume-content]

THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS: PILOT

A Promising Premise with a Playful Plot

SPOILERS AHEAD

I’ll be upfront: I don’t like clowns. I’m not afraid of them, but something about them makes me… uncomfortable. Overly joyous, bright and flashy, and more effective at drawing in a crowd of those goblins we call “children” than a box of Capri-Sun. The Amazing Digital Circus (which will henceforth be referred to in this article as TADC) plays with the vibes I get from clowns perfectly, goblin children and all.

Quick plot synopsis! We find ourselves inside the titular Amazing Digital Circus, a virtual world in which a wacky cast of characters have been trapped for an unknown amount of time. The story follows Pomni, the newcomer, as she tries to escape the circus and get back to the real world without losing her mind. After meeting the other suckers trapped in this world (and then running away from one of them), Pomni finds an exit door free-standing in the middle of the tent. After running through a Backrooms-like facility, her efforts turn out to be all for naught, since the ringmaster Caine hasn’t even finished building the exit. Whoopsies! Yeah, a bunch of other stuff happens, but the B-plot isn’t really as interesting as Pomni’s journey.

I’m going to start the actual review part of this article with the art and animation. The love and care put into making the characters feel alive is not to be overlooked, and it’s clear that the team behind TADC took care in making sure the animation was the best it could be. The characters are expressive in the way they walk, run, and use their hands. Each design is unique and fun, with none of them being standout great and none lagging behind. My personal favorite design is Caine, who is as wonderfully ridiculous as the circus he runs. An honorable mention to Gangle, whose ribbon body leads to some genuinely funny goofs and gaffs in the show. I think the only character design I have problems with is Zooble, a mishmash of multicolored parts of many styles. It’s a neat idea in concept, and Gooseworx’s previous works prove abstract designs can be pulled off well, but Zooble is way too cluttered for my tastes.

Something I really enjoy about TADC is how well it pulls off sound. Music production and voice acting are my hobbies and sound work is my job, so it's always nice to see a show or movie pull off sound well. Goofy character movements are often accentuated by bouncy and cartoony sound effects, and the overall mixing and mastering of the episode is high-quality. At no point did it feel like any character was too loud or too quiet, too bland or too overeffected. I like the subtle changes in reverb as the camera switches to a new point of view, a thing that in hindsight seems obvious but many people may miss when making a show like this. I must also commend the voice actors and voice directors for their amazing work bringing these characters to life and giving them personality. As soon as I heard Caine in the promotional material, I realized it was a complete no-brainer to bring on Alex Rochon to use the Spamton voice from his Deltarune dubs. I also must point out Michael Kovach's work as Jax, being just obnoxious enough to make you want to hate him but not enough to stop you from absolutely loving him. The music is also fantastic, as one comes to expect from the talented hands of Gooseworx. It should come as no surprise that my favorite track from the pilot is Your New Home, and I seem to be far from the only one with that opinion.

Unfortunately, it's not all sunshine and rainbows with TADC. I do have one major gripe with the show, and that's the writing. The story is intriguing and entertaining, but a lot of dialogue near the beginning of the episode falls flat for me. It's a good script assisted by great VAs, but it really does feel like some of the dialogue is trying to cram in lots of information in a shorter time frame, to the point where some of it feels stilted and drags on. However, I suppose I can understand why this is the case. A pilot is a way for a show to tell the audience what it's doing, what it's about, and why you should watch. Thus, it's reasonable to put more information into a pilot than feels necessary, so that you don't need to take as long to get someone hooked.

All in all, TADC is a lovely show that I highly recommend checking out if you haven't already, and I wish the best of luck to GLITCH, Gooseworx, and the rest of the team in funding a full season of this show.

FINAL RATING:

A Breaking Point out of 10

- Rock

[webbywatcheshorror]

Webby Reviews Horror: The Bye Bye Man (2017)

The Bye Bye Man. This movie has been meme’d to death, and I’m sure, if you’re reading this, you’ve at least heard of it. I first watched it for my 100 Horror Movies in 92 Days challenge in 2022, expecting it to be the kind that doesn’t take itself seriously. But it does.

The Bye Bye Man tells the story of three college students that move into a fixer-upper of a house and unleash an unstoppable force of evil that comes for you once you know his name. Now on paper, that sounds like a solid premise. In practice.... well, we’ll get to that.

Review under the cut, and as always, SPOILERS AHEAD!

The Bye Bye Man is a tragedy. It contains so many good bits and pieces, but they aren’t quite assembled right- like a puzzle missing some pieces, and somebody painted over some of the others.

It has a decently strong opening- Leigh Whannell murders his way through a quiet suburban neighborhood, gunning down friends and neighbors while shouting about a name that shouldn’t be said, and sometimes muttering the tagline- don’t think it, don’t say it. Nice and intriguing, good First Kill.

Even going into the next sequence isn’t bad- meeting our core protagonists, setting up the scenery, establishing backstories, etc. A bit slow, but it works fine. The slow ramp-up of the upcoming horrors is pretty decent, too- the scene with the kid opening one door while the Hound creeps silently out of the one behind her was nice and eerie! Not to mention one of my favorite tropes in horror movies- Spot the Thing. I managed to find him in mirrors and shadows at least four times before his big reveal, but there’s likely even more I didn’t catch.

The concept itself is promising! An entity that stalks you but only after you know it exists, and the more you think about it, the closer you are to death! That fucking RULES! I’d be so fucking dead! Trying not to think about something, especially when that thing is toying with your mind constantly? An impossible task for me, and a story genre I will always love.

The breaking of the protagonists is also fairly decent. Elliot, the main protag, is adorably in love with his girlfriend, and is so close to the other character John, they consider each other brothers; by the end, they’ve turned on one another, driven mad by hallucinations and suspicion. Heartbreaking stuff, honestly.

There’s a post that’s been going around on Tumblr lately about phones and horror movies, and how instead of simply not working, they could be utilized to invoke more horror as working devices. The Bye Bye Man actually has a good example of this! There’s a scene where one of our protags, trying to ease his mind, is looking through pictures on his phone, when he is treated a series of pictures of the titular entity, who taunts him.

So if it has all these elements, why does it not deliver?

Firstly, the name. Now, I know the original tale (both folk tale and published book edition) also has him named the Bye Bye Man, but reading it and hearing it just have very different vibes. Reading a story about a malevolent spirit with a goofy name? Sure, I can let my imagination run with that. Hearing people say it out loud with their mouth? It just doesn’t land for me, no matter how hard I tried.

It’s possible that it COULD have landed, with some tweaks to the movie: more instances of characters unintentionally saying it, or hearing it as an auditory hallucination; even the way it’s said might have heightened its fear factor. Here, try this- say The Bye Bye Man as though you are reading the title of the movie out loud. Now, say it slow, hesitant, breath shaky and as though you’re forcing yourself to stop saying it. There’s a noticeable difference, yeah? Well, mostly, we only get the first example. Even just a slight pause between each word gives it a different feel, or at least it does to me.

There’s few tropes in movies that annoy the piss out of me more than miscommunication/straight up lack of communication that drives the plot/drama. I know our protags are college kids, and as such are prone to reactions rather than sense, but it’s incredibly irritating to me. Had they stopped to think for like, ten seconds, they might have even survived.

The fact that they’re still kids might explain why they kept making the same mistakes over and over- constantly forgetting they can’t trust what they hear or see, automatically assuming the worst of people they’re supposed to love and trust, continuing to say the name OUT LOUD even after they know it’s dangerous. Ok so most of these sins are committed by the main character, but they’re all guilty of them at some point or another.

It’s possible, too, that much of their nonsensical behavior can be chalked up to supernatural influence. And it’s also possible that I’m far more paranoid than your average person. But talking and acting INCREDIBLY SUSPICIOUSLY in front of cops at a crime scene wherein you are a prime suspect? And then, when confronted by Carrie-Anne Moss’s character, Elliot continues to be suspicious as all hell. Don’t imply you have something dangerous to hide in front of a cop! Why would you do that!?

I also feel like they could have established a few more details that would have given more impact to the eventual character breakdowns. Elliot’s jealousy fueled hallucinations could have been even better, had he stated outright earlier that he trusted his best friend and girlfriend, instead of unconvincingly denying being jealous when his older brother points out the other two dancing during the party scene. Subsequently, his struggle to maintain that implicit trust would have been more impressive, as he is bombarded with hallucinations that imply they’re having an affair, including a full on vision of them having sex in front of him.

That being said, I do like that they set up Elliot’s fatal flaw early on- his cocky overconfidence. During the séance scene, he keeps smugly dismissing any mention of the supernatural as being illogical and beneath his consideration. When he later realizes how to keep the Bye Bye Man at bay, he lets this small victory feed into his ego and he seems to think he’s no longer in danger; he is quickly relieved of this notion.

His solution, when you really break it down, would never have worked long-term, at least not for him. Simply do not fear the entity! He thrives off of fear, much like Pennywise. With a name that silly, this should be easy, to be honest. (In my initial livetweet thread, I toyed with the idea of calling him The Baby Man.) However, unlike the dancing clown, denying him the fear that powers him only makes him get more creative. Upon returning home, Elliot immediately falls for another one of Bye Bye’s tricks. Shouldn’t have challenged him. You fool.

The Man himself is a decent looking monster, played by the wonderful, incredible Doug Jones; but despite the sounds and signs that precede his arrival, we never learn anything about him. Why the coins? Why the train sounds? What’s up with the Hound? Was he once a living person? The original tale has a few answers, but they are nowhere to be found in the film, which is a shame, because it could definitely have benefitted from the knowledge that Bye Bye created his canine companion out of the body parts of his initial victims, and it’s true name is the Gloomslinger. That’s fucking rad!

This movie feels like it drew inspiration from Candyman and Final Destination, in that there is power in a name, and once you’ve drawn its attention, there’s no way to escape it. The world itself will twist until you’ve fallen victim, no matter how clever you think you are. It also reminds me of an OLD, OOOOOOOOLD creepypasta that featured something similar- some sort of entity that hunts you down once you’re made aware it exists. I can’t remember much about it, other than the final line was something like “I’m so sorry. Now that you know it exists, it’s coming for you.” (If anyone knows what I’m talking about, please let me know, but be aware that I read it well over 10 years ago and cannot remember anything else about it.)

Lastly, I want to mention that I enjoyed the way it ended. Our protags are dead, as well as everyone they told his name to. With no way to spread his evil, Bye Bye should be defeated- then we’re treated to Elliot’s young niece saying she found the nightstand with the name carved into it. The wheel keeps on turning, and what a shame- but no, she couldn’t read it in the dark. THEN, we find out that John, the best friend, has survived the house exploding (how tho), and the movie ends as he whispers the name to Carrie-Anne Moss, thus ensuring the cycle continues. 

I give this one five ghosts outta ten. The framework for a great movie is there, but ultimately, it failed to achieve what it set out to do. I do believe, however, that had this movie come out in the 80s, it would now be a cult classic, and considered genuinely terrifying. Then again, if it had, we’d have been denied another instance of Leigh Whannell’s character dying horrifically, and that’d be a shame.

[kaijuworldorder]

Gadzooki + Konky Donk: The Empire Magazine review

Oh shit I was supposed to post this weeks ago and forgot, oops. Anyway, having seen Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire a second time and solidified my opinion of it, yeah it's pretty good! Major glow-up from the previous entry. It's not perfect and is no less stupid than its predecessor, but it's the kind of dumb movie that I like, one that doesn't go out of its way to insult my intelligence or annoy me. The things that worked about Godzilla vs. Kong are here only way more, and the things that sucked are mostly not here. There's just enough substance that my adult self is happy, and all the mindless wild spectacle that makes kWo Junior cheer and want to bash action figures together. Adam Wingard said in an interview that his aim was to make a modern-day Toho Champion Festival movie, and I think he succeeded. I'm no longer nearly as worried about the future of the MonsterVerse as I was. I thought this picture was going to suck ass, but I sure ate my words. 4 stars, check it out if you haven't yet.

There's the short version. Under the cut, I'll get into specifics of what I liked and what I didn't. If you're still wanting to see GxK and somehow haven't yet, I recommend doing so before reading on, because I spoil a lot of the movie here.

WHAT I LIKED

Big-time Inhumanoids vibes. The tone, the “journey into a subterranean world to stop evil monsters from taking over Earth” plot, Skar King being kinda like Metlar personality-wise and living in a horrible lava hell, the wacky pseudoscience and power armor (well, just a gauntlet but you get the picture), the gruesome violence…I half-expected the end credits to sound like this. GxK is the closest I think we will ever get to a big-budget theatrical Inhumanoids motion picture, unless a miracle happens and Hasbro decides to give a shit again and buys back the rights. For those who aren't familiar with Inhumanoids: get familiar with it, you’ll thank me later.

Rebecca Hall's new hairstyle. Yeah.

Bernie no longer sucks. Way less grating and unfunny, doesn't parrot fascist talking points every goddamned second, and the sense of wonder he shows upon seeing the Hollow Earth for the first time really won me over.

Jia. One of the previous movie’s strongest aspects in my opinion, particularly her dynamic with Kong, and that holds true in this picture as well. She gets a good deal more to do, shows off more range, and her whole emotional arc in this hits just right for me. Feeling alone even though you’re not, feeling like you don’t fit in anywhere, thinking there must be something wrong with you but you can’t put it into words…these are things I can relate to all too well. And I won’t lie, I choked up when she chose to stay with Andrews at the end.

Unfridging the Iwi. The previous film’s most egregious, unforgivable misstep has been walked back, and I couldn’t be happier. It’s also good to see the Iwi having a more active role in the story, instead of basically being window dressing like in Kong: Skull Island, which as much as I love that movie was kind of a problem. It helps that the Hollow Earth Iwi are just extremely cool. Love the crystal spears, the gravity pyramid and all their other Sufficiently Advanced tech. They’re like if Seatopia weren’t horrible assholes, or if the Nilai Kanai were in a better movie. I like 'em!

Dentist! A thing I love about the MonsterVerse is how it comes up with creative stuff involving kaiju that no other movie has ever really thought to do (e.g. Godzilla flashing Chellen-kov LIGHT from his spines as a threat display). I also like that it shows how the world has changed in response to the emergence of Godzilla and the others—how culture, the economy, politics, and general day-to-day life have shaped themselves around these creatures. Trapper exemplifies both of these things really well. I doubt I would ever have come up with the idea of a kaiju veterinarian, let alone written a scene showing how a dental procedure on a 300-foot ape would work, but I'm so grateful for that level of worldbuilding. He’s also just a goofy weird guy and I like him.

Golden Earring "Twilight Zone" needle drop. One of my favorite songs of all time is in this movie and I know it's kinda stupid to pop for things like that, but goddammit I loved it.

Kong’s arc. There’s just something really satisfying about finally seeing a King Kong who isn’t the last of his kind. Plus he gets a Trendmasters accessory robo-glove gimmick, which is just stupid enough that I'm into it.

Monster rasslin'. I do wish the fight scenes had more weight and scale to them, but goddamn, they're just so much fun and visually engaging. I can't dislike a movie where Godzilla does a vertical suplex.

Sucko. I love this horrible little ugly-cute weirdo/giant ape version of Rock Howard, and not just because “hehe funni mokney” or the bit where Kong uses him as a blunt object to clobber those other assholes. I got genuinely invested in him and Kong bonding, as he realizes that barely anyone in the Skar King’s domain ever showed him genuine kindness before. He is good and can stay.

The Skar King. Fantastic love-to-hate-him scumbag villain, chock-full of personality. You really want to see Kong and Godzilla kick this guy’s ass, and his cruelty and tyranny getting paid back in full at the end is so satisfying. The only thing that really sucks about him is his uncreative name. Like come on, “Hanuman” was RIGHT THERE, especially since the Whipslash can totally stand in for a tail.

Skar King’s soldiers. I love these Lost City of Zinj-ass motherfuckers. They're nasty and fun and I want action figures of them yesterday, so hey uh, Playmates, maybe get on that? Not like you'd have to spend a ton of money either, just reuse the Ferocious Kong and Skar King body molds and make a couple new heads, splash some red paint on em and voila, instant gorilla warfare. That one balding ape with the fucked-up eye who Sucko kicks off the pyramid to his death might require some new tooling, but nothing major.

Shimo. It's nice to have an antagonist monster who isn't evil, and is still alive at the end of the picture. We don't often get reptilian monsters not named Godzilla that are babyfaces, and ice powers are rare in Toho kaiju circles. She's just a breath of fresh air, with a simple but effective design and a genuine emotional hook; I really felt bad for her when the Skar King was bossing her around and basically torturing her, and the joy she feels at her freedom from his control transcends onto me, the viewer.

Mothra is so fucking back. She makes her presence felt, she doesn't die this time, and she gets a little more to do here than in King of the Monsters, which I appreciate. I still say she ought to have a solo spinoff movie; she's Strong and Cool™ enough to stand on her own, and there's so much more you can do with her than just being Godzilla's conscience and bestest pal.

Tiamat. It was nice to see her in motion finally instead of just being relegated to tie-in comics that the movies ignore 99.9% of the time. Shame we’re never gonna see her again.

WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE

Junkie XL's score. Soulless and unmemorable hackery, just like his work on Godzilla vs. Kong. The Skar King motif sounds like he started to compose something and then just gave up. He also has a Jimmy Hart version of "Mothra's Song" to accompany the previous movie's Jimmy Hart Godzilla theme, and it's just as lame. Bring back McCreary or Desplat, please and thank ya.

AVP-wi. As much as I like the Hollow Earth Iwi, I’m a little annoyed that the Iwi are now apparently the only ancient monster-worshiping culture there has ever been. It feels dumbed down, and limits what future stories in this setting will be able to do.

Godzilla Evolved. Boy oh boy do I have a lot to say about this, none of it good. Godzilla's new look is way too busy and overdesigned with all these spiky greebles all over him that make him look more like a Monster Hunter boss than the King of the Monsters, and his proportions physically hurt me to look at. Where did all the internal organs in his torso go to make his waist that slim? What the fuck is up with his arms? Why are there dorsal spines growing out of his elbows and forearms? It just doesn't look right. I get that they're trying to evoke the Godzilla 2000 design with the giant pink spines and slimmer body proportions and the spikier and slightly greener skin (it's even got the same feet) but it just isn't done that well, and besides, if I wanted to see that design, I'd watch that movie. It’s just fucking up the cohesion of the Legendary Godzilla design and eroding its visual identity even more, dragging it further and further in directions it wasn’t meant to go in a cynical capitalistic move to sell new toys. I said it in 2019 and I'll say it again: if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Moreover, it's 100% cosmetic and doesn't actually affect the movie at all in any meaningful way, it's just Dragon Ball-style "new color = stronger" power creep. We keep being told how much more powerful Godzilla is now, but we're not shown any evidence that there's a significant difference. It doesn't feel like there's anything Evolved Godzilla does that regular Godzilla couldn't or hasn't before. He doesn't act any different or display new abilities. His new thagomizer and Batmanesque arm spines? Never uses 'em, they're just more surface greebles to clutter up the design. Why make changes like that if you're not gonna do anything with them? Hell, the only new trick Godzilla shows off in this, the classic blue Nuclear Pulse, is something he uses before he evolves! And then he never does it again after that! Even the atomic breath color change is meaningless. We're told it's stronger than before, but again, we never actually see that; it doesn’t seem to do any more damage to monsters or buildings than the old one did. Sure, it burns away Shimo's ice storm at the end, but Godziller burned a tunnel all the way through the fucking Earth with the regular blue breath in the last movie, so it doesn't really feel like something he needed a new form to be able to do. I don't believe for one second that Godzilla Evolved was necessary; there's not enough real difference between it and Original Flavor Godzilla to justify its existence. I realize that's probably unfair of me to say since I don't know if or how much anything that would've helped illustrate the difference better may have been part of the movie before but got cut for time, but to me at least, the effect on the finished film is that Most Powered-Up New Godzilla® just feels like a palette swap in a video game, and that's not great. Maybe instead, oh I dunno, you could have Godzilla have a rough time and just barely win against Scylla in Rome instead of wasting her in seconds, Final Wars-style? Maybe have a little flashback to the ancient war of Godzilla vs. Hanuman & 700 Big Gorilla, like show him barely surviving that, so we get an idea of what he's up against? Then when he powers up, we can buy that he's stronger now, like a sense of progression or something. Instead, what we get is basically a Hong Kong martial arts flick if it showed the hero doing a training montage and then beating all the bad guys, but didn't show any of why he needed to train in the first place, e.g. the bad guys kicking his ass. It's a payoff with no setup. I assume this is probably a side effect of Godzilla in New Empire being what immature people with bad opinions claim he was in Godzilla (2014)—a guest star in his own movie—so there might not have been a way to avoid this problem without significantly altering the pacing, but like…could they have at least fucking tried?

[zalrb]

the summer i turned pretty 1x03 review -- "you mean conrad?"

Oh god, the infinity symbol. Why would you pour that on her pancakes tho. Why is that the moment for the Moment.

"Looking like a vision in floral." She looks NORMAL. You guys are making it seem like she's Arwen coming to Frodo in an ethereal light and bringing him back from the brink of death.

Why would you get your daughter a present because it includes your best friend's favourite poem? That doesn't make any sense. That should be a gift for Susannah. This isn't how you show how close all of you are.

"You excited to see Taylor?" How long has it been since you last saw her? Like a week?

"You're the main character, not Taylor." Is she though?

"I do not want to be cancelled by the sailing community" that's not what being cancelled IS.

stop. saying. extra.

"I just really want to look good next to you" you know, you wouldn't have to try this hard with Jere, Steven.

BOYFRIENDS.

Yeah, Steven, play with your boyfriend

I don't understand why this volleyball scene is so long.

"I know, I just ... care." Do you though?

So if Nicole is the girl this season then who the fuck is Aubrey?

Nicole, honey, you can do SO MUCH BETTER than Conrad.

"Suddenly you care about clothes, you have new friends, you have a boyfriend." OK a) they're making it seem like Belly was dressing as a slob and she her wearing a baggy shirt and shorts isn't the same vibe, it's like when Teen Wolf was trying to say that Kira looked so un-put-together and messy and my girl was looking like this

please be serious. 2. Nicole literally sat by the pool with Conrad and watched you and Belly play water volleyball together. It's not like you and Belly went to get a banana split and then Nicole dropped by and she was like I invited Nicole too, that's OK right? and then you watched as they had all these inside jokes and Belly's trying to include you. You are still very prominent Taylor. 3. Same thing. Jere picked you two up it's not like she came to pick you up from the bus station with Cam Cameron and you walk to the car and see them making out and you have to be like "erm erm". *cries in frustration* DETAILS. And if these things happen later, they shouldn't they should happen BEFORE this conversation.

Where are Steven and Jere they are my only source of marginal entertainment this season because of pure head canon.

"Just promise me one thing, we'll always be best friends?" She comes her for three months out of the entire year, Taylor.

Right, Aubrey was his girlfriend from before and Nicole is a new disposable chick.

"You think you could talk to him?" see, if they were as close as they were meant to be, Laurel wouldn't need direction to speak to Connor about opening up. She'd just do it.

Why would you have a Midsommar theme? White people realize it's a movie about white supremacy right?

See Jere's being an ass here with the whole her lips touch a dead animal's lips but calling him Cam Cameron is just a dumb way to be a dick.

And Cam showed you the fuck up with that quick peck, Jere, so shut up you child.

BOYFRIENDS

Taylor is a good friend though, I just find her supremely annoying but that's a best friend.

OK so if you're going to play Best Friend by Saweetie, this is not the scene you play it at

for thirty seconds until they walk into the party. Especially when you're rolling up looking like this

If anything, what should happen is Taylor should do her up, look proud at her work and when they roll up to the party, she's NOTICED by people and Taylor should look her proudly and the song should be playing. JUST GIVE ME A SHOW.

Oh Jere and a disposable Black guy to make out with.

What kind of likkle stiff kiss is this?

*staring at Conrad* for WHY. I love how we're three episodes deep and I have NO IDEA why she likes him.

Yeaaah Lola tries too hard to act like she's having a good time.

So does Jeremiah.

Hahah I like how they skipped over the super rape-y part of Summer Lovin'.

Yeah, see again, this makeout is very just staged. If it's a stupid, drunken mistake, it should be a little sloppier.

"Oh my God I am so sick of hearing about this fucking deb ball." Did Belly ever mention it?

It's literally been one day, Taylor. And aren't you supposed to know that Belly has her Cousins life anyway?

It has been. a day. And Belly has been acting EXACTLY the same. She just finally wears the clothes you want her to.

So, she is but she hasn't done anything to you, Taylor, for you to say that.

We literally never see this, though! She just looks at him from time to time in a way that's supposed to be wistful but she can't access the nuance for that.

I remember I was obsessed with this guy in high school and I took a picture of him and his friends when we all went on a class trip to the States, I really just wanted a picture of him but I wasn't going to ask him to JUST take a picture alone so I took the picture and then I was looking at the picture on the bus but like zooming in so I could only see him and my friend was like WHAT'RE YOU DOING? and looked over and saw what I was doing and then we both decided that she never saw that and THAT was super embarrassing. I should be seeing THAT type of "omg I feel like I'm in high school again" shit from Belly.

Give me a gen z version of this shit

"I can't deal with this right now. I gotta go." I mean why? What are you doing, Belly?

See I know the whole thing is Jeremiah is supposed to be friending Cam Cameron up to deflect but it's not giving him the layers they think it is.

And he's not good at playing drunk.

OH MY GOD, the way I BURST OUT LAUGHING AT THIS

she is TERRIBLE.

"Can I ask you something..." "Is that it?" "Yeah, that's it." Why are they acting like the moment to ask him has passed when he still has to drive her home?

Like is that car ride silent?

"They should be in his desk" where she will find the infinity necklace.

"He's been acting weird for months. Just forget him." Lol, do you two like each other?

"And today you can't stop obsessing over Conrad" and like I know that we use that word liberally and this is partly because the acting is terrible but the scene needs more room to breathe. Like I feel like what should happen is she sees the bracelet and she mulls about it quietly and Jeremiah keeps asking her about Cam Cameron and she gives monosyllabic responses and then he's like Bells, where are you? Like you're barely speaking and then she should talk about Conrad in a rush where she just can't stop talking and it's like verbal diarrhea and then she takes a deep breath and Jere's just like wowwwwwwww

Honestly, Belly.

Brat.

Oh my god Belly, you should be yelling at him for making out with Taylor when he's dating someone else.

For your best friend dying, this is a very cold conversation. Like they're trying to be Beaches but they're not being Beaches.

My mom was OBSESSED with that movie omg.

[burning-sol]

Also on that post I made, I said that I didn't like people being so critical of Hazbin when it wasn't even complete. Now listen, I don't MIND critique being made as the episodes come out, I don't MIND critique of individual episodes, but I do not think these critiques are nearly as valuable as a critique made with the.. ya know.. COMPLETE piece of art? If you only have half a movie to critique, you can critique half the movie, but you cannot know if the full movie is good or bad unless you HAVE the full movie. And hey, if I'm going out to see that full movie, am I going to trust the critique of half of that movie or the full one? I think you know which I'm going to trust more.

Also, when critiques are written so quickly with no reflection, they are more likely to have errors. You're more likely to be swayed by the hot opinions of the time, your own misinterpretations of the work, you don't have enough time to properly break down the work and ruminate on its themes..

There is a meta value to incomplete or flawed critiques, to analyse how wider audiences understood the work and what that says about the work or the wider culture.. But!! I think I'm probably going to trust the opinion of someone who has watched the movie 5 times and can effectively break down the media over someone who watched it once and is giving you their vibe check.

I was also annoyed by this and venting aggresively in that post because the current online climate we live in is FULL of bad opinions. Bad opinions that people make into videos that get hundreds of thousands of views and lead to everyone regurgitating the same awful opinions. Hence my very aggressive statement:

... i hate social media, you start circulating all these bs takes and conclude that if the court of public opinion says ye, than ye the criticism must be. well SOME of us do not appreciate having to constantly sift through hundreds of opinions of no substance just to find one interesting take. so. shut up!!

And if you go, "Sol, doesn't that mean we shouldn't trust YOUR takes on the show?" Yeah. That is what I'm saying. Most of my posting in my "thoughts" tag is a lot of unfiltered or venting kind of thoughts. If you want to know what Hazbin is about, go watch Hazbin Hotel!! You can do that!! You can go watch something yourself!! You can disagree with me!!! My only serious analysis I will ever put out will be in something like an article or on a wiki, where it's been checked 50 times over and reviewed by a peer with clear notes about my own biases where necessary. Everything else is whatever.

Please stop settling for piss poor uninformed takes, you deserve better than that.

[pinkarachnia]

Lesbian Anime Review #8 - Yuri Kuma Arashi

Shrek voice: “Dykes are… like bears”

When I started watching this show, I didn’t know the name Kunihiko Ikuhara. I watched the first few episodes with my partner and commented to them that this show reminds me a lot of Mawaru Penguindrum. I don’t know whether I feel very smart or very dumb but I guess I got that vibe for a reason.

Man, I really like Ikuhara shows. I was looking at his credits on MyAnimeList and he directed the opening sequence for Aoi Hana, which I praised in my review. I watched the first of the two Penguindrum recap movies and I still love that show. I hadn’t seen the full lyrics to Nornir translated before, and it goes harder than I remember from 2011. I can only imagine that YuriKuma sprung forth from his mind when he learned that despite the release of Revolutionary Girl Utena, homophobia still exists. Keep fighting the good fight, Ikuhara!

First, non-plot elements. The animation is good but it’s not Eizouken, you won’t be blown away constantly. I like the art in this show a lot. I never stopped thinking the bears were adorable. It has a classic Ikuhara extended transformation sequence but it doesn’t appear in full after the third episode. I don’t mind this really, I felt like after I saw the bear girls lick honey off naked Kureha the third time I had seen it enough.

Oh yeah this show is horny as fuck. They loaded this with classic yuri yearning, but what if they could touch each other while they yearn? All the yearning appears to be kiss related, but other activities are fair game here. More on that in the spoiler section later.

I like the opening and endings to this. The opening theme to this makes me understand why people like ASMR. The ending has a cute dancing bear and I’m always happy to see that little guy bounce around.

Every episode someone stands before a court of three bear men called Life Sexy (judge) Life Cool (prosecutor) and Life Beauty (defence) and they judge whether they have the right to transform from bears into humans. I didn’t want to put this in the plot discussion section. Fuck you.

It’s going to be very hard to talk about the plot of this show without spoiling it, but to give you a very general idea, Yuri Kuma Arashi is about a world that is split into two halves; one where the humans live and one where the bears live. They’re separated by a huge literal barrier called the Species Divide. They have always hated each other, but they have always loved each other. The main character, Kureha Tsubaki, is a human girl. Bears have started infiltrating her high school in disguise as human girls because they want to eat her. She seems to be a prime target for bear attack. Humans in this world are always vigilant for bear attack and a lot of them seem to have firearms. Kureha herself practices with a rifle in case of a bear encounter because her mother was killed by a bear when she was younger. The plot kicks off when two bears disguised as humans infiltrate the school, Ginko Yurishiro and Lulu Yurigasaki. All the bears put Yuri in their human names so you can always see it coming. What could this mean? I know the answer to that. Let’s go on an adventure into the least subtle subtext I’ve ever seen.

Spoilers from here. That is sexy. Shabadadoo.

I don’t really want to talk about the plot to this show, I just want to talk about what the plot means. Just like Penguindrum before it, this show is very heavy on the symbolism, but unlike Penguindrum I found it really easy to decipher what it all means here.

This is a show about gay persecution. The bears are gay people and the humans are straight people. There are a couple of exceptions where you see a human character partake in a gay activity but that appears to be the overarching theme here. It’s pretty on the nose from the point where you clock that every bear has Yuri in their name, but the most prominent examples of this are with the main character and her deal and with her mother and her friend, the school principal.

The principal, Yurika, is a bear. She was close friends with Kureha’s mother, Reia. Yurika goes through a terrible grief when Kureha is born because she realises that Reia never loved her the way she loved Reia. Sorry you fell for a straight girl, Yurika.

As the plot progresses it quickly starts revolving around the relationship between Ginko and Kureha. They were friends as kids because Kureha crossed the Species Divide to find Ginko and brought her over to the human side of the world, where they lived together for a time. She has no memories of their friendship, which we’re lead to believe is because in order to gain the power to turn into a human girl, Ginko forfeited Kureha’s memories of their friendship. At the end, they reveal that this wasn’t quite accurate, it was actually Kureha who asked the court to allow Ginko to become human. The court tells her that this is an arrogant wish, that it’s presumptuous to assume that Ginko would want to become human to stay with her in a world that hates bears. Kureha is a child at the time so she doesn’t understand that conversion therapy is wrong, so she does it anyway, forfeiting her own memories as the price. At the climax of the show, Kureha stands before the court again and makes a new request, that she be turned into a bear. They’re happy she finally gets it and she goes bear mode. Then she and Ginko get to kiss and it’s the end.

There’s a great subtitle in episode 12 and I don’t know if it’s a line from the dub, but there’s a firing squad of human girls aiming at bear Kureha and Ginko and the leader is saying, “shoot her! She’s a bear! She’s disgusting!”, but the subtitle for “she’s a bear” was “she’s gay” just in case you didn’t get it. I really like this. Why not drop all pretences in the final episode? This show was always about this.

There’s a recurring sequence where a league of school girls called the Phantom Wuthering (Toumei na Arashi) get out their phones and vote for who amongst their peers is the evil one to be eliminated and it’s always Kureha. Since she was a kid she’s been branded a bear sympathiser so she’s the obvious pick to all these girls who have been trained to eliminate gay people (bears). But also, they’re constantly manipulated by a leader figure who either is a bear who wants to eat Kureha or is being manipulated by a bear. Some bears are just evil, but I guess some gay people are evil too so whatever.

I will happily fly the banner for Ikuhara’s brand of surreal storytelling, but I would like very much to know if the girls survived at the end or if they died to the straight girl firing squad. Just this once I’d like it if we could be slightly less vague about it. Literally every other gay gets buried in this show, and they did leave it ambiguous; the straights are pleased with themselves because the gays have been removed, and neither Kureha or Ginko were in the bear afterlife scene with Lulu at the end, but they just say, “no one knows where they went” and to be honest I am a little dissatisfied with that. I just don’t think those straight girls would be celebrating if there weren’t cadavers.

But I digress, this was a lesbian ass anime. Genuine props for making it about homosexuality and the fear of being outed in a group where you would be hated by your peers. I can’t wait for Ikuhara to learn about trans people.

Final thoughts:

I’m going get some honey and pour it directly into my mouth.

I’m giving this one an 8/10.