#yeah Strade doesn’t like when I call him a thing

[laila-woods]

It’s so hard to go back to regular posting with this “thing” here.

[needleanddead]

remember when i was like ‘i will probably use this blog to write some horrible reader-insert fanfiction too’? yeah. 

knife-edge, strade x reader, 3.2k

trigger warnings: not sfw, non-con, blood, violence, gore, references to torture/snuff films, honestly i figure you probably know what you’re getting into if you’re seeing this. reader uses no pronouns/neutral pronouns but is vaguely implied to be afab. 

cross-posted to ao3

You do not know how you still have it in you to scream, and cry, and beg.

Well.

That’s a lie, really; you have it in you to scream, and cry, and beg, because you know that the moment you stop – the moment you let yourself truly succumb to that pit of nothingness that lies heavy and waiting in your chest – he will lose interest in you completely, and you will meet the same fate as all of the rest of them do.

Despite the shock collar that lies heavy around your throat; the proof that he had seen some value in you beyond what you might feel like if he tore you into pieces and let you rot, you know that any peace you have here is temporary. He’ll get bored. He’ll lose control. He’ll--

Sometimes you wonder if those things might be better. The idea of death hovers at the edges of your vision like a spectre, waiting for you – and you are a coward and you run from it, whimpering and sensitive with tears rolling down your cheeks whenever he takes you back down the creaking basement stairs and wraps rope around already rubbed-raw wrists.

You don’t think you’d recognise the sight of your own wrists without the rope burn any more. It seems so long since you’ve been anything other than captive. You’re not sure you even know who you are unless you have a blade half-buried in your thigh or thick fingers digging and reopening wounds or pliers too close to vulnerable flesh.

You think he likes that, too – that you don’t seem to exist unless you’re hurting. Delights that he’s broken you without breaking the part of you that he really likes; the one with the trembling lip and the gasping and the tears beading in your eyes. You beg less now; you have learnt that he’s always able to turn a ‘please, please don’t, not that--’ into something that’s somehow worse. But when you’d first woken up all rope-burnt and disoriented with your arms wrapped around a pole in a basement that smelt like copper and oil, you had begged until your throat was sore.

What you had gotten for your troubles was your own hand wrapped around the knife handle as you sliced into too soft, too giving flesh and stared in horror at bubbling rivulets of blood with the dim thought in the back of your mind; I did this to myself.

It’s a dangerous knife-edge that you’re walking; don’t fight too much, but don’t give in too much. Don’t break, but don’t entirely yield. If he gets bored of you, or if you push him too far – then the collar around your neck will be carefully unlocked and you’ll regret everything. You’ll meet the fate that you so narrowly avoided, bleeding and broken and disoriented as your life slips away to the tune of Strade’s fingers wrapped too hard about your throat.

Or worse, you’ll meet the fate you’ve seen some of the ones who have broken too early become acquainted with; bandana wrapped around his mouth and camera painstakingly readjusted to perfectly centre a sobbing, terrified face. You have been far too close to the ones who end up that way; brought down to the basement and given a nail gun as you’re shoved onto your knees in front of a girl who might once have been pretty but is a little too matted with blood and bruises to be called the same any more.

“I thought they might like to see someone else hurt her this time, schatzi,” his smile had not dimmed a watt. When you had first met him, that smile had put you at ease; his eyes had reminded you of honey, and you’d been so flattered, so warmed, to have the attention of someone who oozed easy charm--

You know now his eyes are not the soft amber of honey but the sharp yellow-orange of a hawk; a predator. When he had smiled at you, he had not been thinking of the kindness of making someone feel comfortable – he had merely been imagining how prettily you would break. Which, as he had not failed to tell you after you’d sobbed out every plea you could and had jagged stitches and broken bones and blood crusted on your face to prove it, had been even more lovely than he had imagined.

The nail gun had been too heavy in your hand; the trigger sweaty, because Strade himself was over-excited and flushed dark pink under tanned skin and excitement beading at his brow. Your fingers had slipped all over it as he’d murmured;

“They want you to put a pretty pattern in her up her shins to her knees. Start at the . . . haa, start at the ankle--”

You’d felt something inside of you snap as if it was very far away as you stared at her legs; already cut up a little and stitched messily, as Strade is so wont to do to make sure his captives last longer. You hesitate too long, because suddenly thick, strong fingers are gripping your jaw and squeezing too hard as they turn your face towards the camera like a rabbit caught in headlights.

His fingers will bruise your face, you know – and he will see it tomorrow, and dig them harder, make the bruises deeper until you can barely open your jaw--

“Ah, they think you’re cute, mäuschen,” Strade says, an uncomfortable lilt in his voice that sets your teeth on edge. “They’d be happy to see you as the star instead – and I’m sure our other guest would much prefer it too.”

(The girl in the chair leans forward, babbling words that don’t make sense; bubbling drool slips from her lips, tinged pink, and you think that this one must have talked too much and Strade has done something to her tongue).

“Now,” his tone is endlessly patient. “You know I want to keep you, ja? You’re very sweet. I like you a lot - so be good and do what the audience want, and I won’t have to do something I don’t want to, will I?”

He is hard to read. Cheerful to angry in moments; snapping and bouncing from side to side with a laugh and a wild light in his eyes that you don’t understand. He does like you – insofar as you think Strade is capable of really feeling for other people – but you can’t wager your life on him bluffing. The girl looks at you with agonised eyes and you pull the trigger, the nose of the gun pressed against her ankle.

You hear her scream – wet, through a throat clogged with blood, the sound mixing with the disgusting crunch-squelch of the nail being driven into her skin too close to the bone – and it echoes far longer in your head than it actually lasts. You feel far away as you trail the gun further up her leg, pulling the trigger, your marks on her surprisingly straight considering how much the both of you are trembling – but you know you’re crying because you can hear Strade breathing a little heavy, see the bulge in his pants (level with your face) from the corner of your eye as you finish the first leg and move to the second.

It’s not the last time he makes you hurt someone on stream. Sometimes, he checks the stream whilst you’re there and whichever poor soul he’s got taped to a chair whimpers and squirms, whistling cheerily through his teeth as if the situation is perfectly normal. You see the comments as they scroll by; asking you to do horrible things, the ping of donations, the occasional plea to dig a screwdriver into your eye socket and make you scream or pull out your teeth with pliers or slash a heavy knife through your ribcage and fuck the wound he leaves there--

You think he lets you see them on purpose, as a reminder of what he could do to you. He always makes sure the stream sees your face perfectly clearly, too – and you never fail to think; ‘he is making me an accessory to his murders’.

(It is not just you; you find out that Ren is subjected to this same treatment, this same reminder that Strade’s moods are volatile and he loses self-control too quickly and there’s every chance that one day, he will go too far. You do not share your thoughts with Ren that even if, by some miracle, the two of you found yourself outside of Strade’s control, your face is probably plastered all over the darkest shadows of the deep web. You never talk about what might happen. You do not quite trust each other beyond sharing in patching up each other’s wounds, occasionally seeking one another out for company, trembling in the night. There is a kind of tension between you; fear that the other is the favourite. That Strade perhaps isn’t capable of keeping both of you long-term.

It makes Strade himself laugh when he sees that you’re on edge around each other and he leans forward to rest elbows on knees and tells you with a wicked glint in his eye that he just wants the both of you to get along. Perhaps you two need to share something very special, like what he shares with the both of you.

When he tells you to hurt one another, Ren has the advantage of animal nature. It’s clear to you where you stand in the pecking order of predators. You think, too, that Strade prefers you there. Master, fox, mouse.)

You never hear anything from the room designated as yours; it doesn’t escape notice that there is no other bedroom, aside from Ren’s domain and the one that Strade himself barely uses. Nowhere for someone else, if Strade were to take it into his head that another captive would be an interesting pet to keep--

It has been long enough that there are some things you have asked for, tremulous and whimpering, decorating surfaces and scattered about the room. There are also reminders of Strade, too; a hammer and nails on a chest of drawers, a knife in the bedside cabinet, too many things that could be used as weapons at the same time as being summarily excused as simply the detritus of a man doing home improvements.

You’d woken up that morning (you know it is morning because early fingers of dawn have penetrated even through the curtains you keep closed) to see Strade silhouetted in the doorway, smile on his face, shirt spattered with dark red and brown. You know that expression. You sit up, letting the covers fall, and he keeps smiling as he closes the door behind him and approaches you like a wolf approaches a frightened rabbit.

“Last night was disappointing,” he says, his tone light. You’d heard a thump in the middle of the night; assumed it to be Strade dragging a body down to the basement, and had resolutely buried your face into your pillow and pretended you heard nothing.

It’s easier to think of Strade’s other victims – the ones not so lucky as you or Ren – as faceless, foolish creatures. Food. Sustenance. Not people.

“I’m sorry,” you say, voice quiet, cracking. Strade reaches across and chucks your chin, too fondly, bright smile and bright eyes.

“It’s alright,” he tells you. He’s pleased with the apology. He likes it when you’re polite. “It just means that I’m feeling a little . . . ahh. Restless. You’ll help me with that, won’t you?”

“Of c-course I will.” The stutter; he likes that, you know. He shifts as he sits on the bed.

A chuckle.

“You’re always so well-behaved,” he tells you. “sehr süß.”

The knife-edge you walk; the tight-rope. Well-behaved, but not broken. Responsive, but not troublesome. You’ve gotten it down to a fine art.

He’s on top of you before you can respond, knees shoved between your legs, your hand shoved hard against the bedside table so it knocks uncomfortably against hard wood and you flinch at the shock of pain.

The brief pain, though, is nothing to the anxiety that crawls up your throat as you realise he grabbed the hammer and nails as he walked in.

He chuckles as he sees your eyes widen in fear, cooing softly to you;

“That expression. So hübsch. Stay still for me.”

Your wrist is shaking as Strade carefully places a nail right in the centre of your hand; testing the angle, the positioning. His breath is uneven and panting in excitement at what he’s going to do – and excitement, too, that he knows you won’t pull away. Because you know if you do, it will not merely be a nail through one hand, but perhaps through your other and your knees and your feet, perhaps a knife slicing through you like butter, perhaps the feel of chisels and needles and sharper and more painful objects (knife, pliers, screwdriver, chisel, bradawl, drill--).

He lifts the hammer. He watches intently. His eyes are lit with bright excitement, chest heaving, sweat-soaked and greasy. You taste copper and realise you’ve bitten through your lip.

You’ve grown used to the smell of copper and motor oil and meat. If it weren’t for the flood of blood across your tongue you doubt you’d have noticed.

Crack. The first blow. The pain is blinding.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Every single hit of the hammer sends a new shock of pain through you that echoes through the inside of your arm through to the bone marrow, shaking you. It’s not the most painful thing you’ve felt at Strade’s hands; but you are still partly asleep, still not quite aware, and you are simply looking at your hand with the crunch of fractured bones (twenty seven bones in the human hand; is that your capitate, that’s been splintered through?) and the sick wet noise of blood and muscle and you can’t think.

You stare, unblinking, at where your hand is nailed to the bedside table - the gore and blood that oozes from the wound as he uses the clawed end of the hammer to drag it out again. Strade’s smile is beatific, eyes wide and bright, sweat dampening his collar and his cheeks flushed and ruddy.

You’re unable to process anything for another long, agonising second; relief flooding you when finally, you respond. The whimper a delayed reaction, the tears that roll fat and hot down your own face taking a beat longer than usual.

You fear that you’ve broken for the moment you’re staring in horror; that he has finally, well and truly snapped you in half. Because if you’re broken, that means he’ll lose interest, and that means the basement and the fear of death finally catching up with you.

Occasionally the thought flits across your mind that death perhaps would be preferable; but you are a coward, and you have hurt people (even if it was on Strade’s command), and you do not want to know what awaits you on the other side of a non-beating heart and the light in a tunnel.

Strade chuckles, affectionately rubbing his nose against the line of your jaw, teeth digging just a little too hard into the flesh of your neck.

“You had me worried for a second, mäuschen,” he practically purrs. “I thought I’d heard the last of your squeaking.” Big fingers, tugging at your thighs, guiding you to wrap them around his hips. Despite the softness of his body, the proof that he enjoys lazing around and cheap beer and meat a little too much, there’s raw muscle beneath the chub. Even his hands on you are a reminder of how strong he is.

(Strong enough to drag dead bodies across floors, to lift them into kilns, to hold down unwilling, screaming captives and make them regret they ever laid eyes on him.)

“Unzip,” he tells you. One of your hands is free; unpierced, though scarred from being pressed against stove burned and soldering irons and heat guns, from grabbing the blade of a knife when he’s told you to fuck yourself with the handle, from sanders applied to formerly soft skin. You do not use that hand.

You force yourself to move the one dripping in your own blood, the ruined hand pierced straight through. The movement of your fingers burns, sending shock waves of pain all through you; but you tug at the zip of his pants nonetheless. You get blood all over his clothes but he just chuckles low and dangerous, as you reach into his underwear too and squeeze your eyes shut when you feel how hot and hard and heavy his cock is in your grip.

“Eyes on me,” he reminds you, soft, and you force yourself to open them. He drinks in the expression on your face like he’s a starved man and it’s his first meal.

There’s a bloody handprint on his shaft when your fingers and wrist finally give out and your hand falls onto the sheets and pillows beneath you, staining them too, and you think that Strade is going to drive more nails through your hand just to prove a point about not doing as he says.

But his cock presses hot and needy against your inner thigh, smearing blood and pre-come on your scarred skin, and he’s panting and practically drooling as he murmurs;

“You know you’re not going to break, schatz. You want to live too much.” He leans his face further down. He does not kiss you so much as take control of you; worry teeth into your bottom lip, transfer his own saliva into your mouth, conquer the cavern behind your lips and teeth (one of them is loose; from being hit and squeezed. He pushes his tongue just a little too hard against that one and your body contracts, a whimper transferred from your throat to his mouth, and he swallows it up like your protests are a fine steak). “Ah. That’s what I like about you.”

Are you going to break? The push of him pressing inside of you makes your toes curl, a soft noise that might be a moan escape; Strade laughs, again, the sound too hearty and friendly to come out of the monster that you know he is.

“You like it,” he presses, as his thumbs come to your hips and dig into wounds that have been stitched together; you hear the stitches pop, feel him re-open barely healed gashes. “You like being special to me. You like this.”

You don’t think you do.

You don’t think you like any of this; his body on top of yours, the pain, the mistrust, the fear that prickles hot and sharp and sour in your throat whenever you hear the door (the one you can’t go near) open. But you also know that saying that is the wrong answer. Hitting and screaming like a wildcat is the wrong answer. Saying nothing at all is the wrong answer.

So instead, you open your mouth, you shiver and shudder as his thumb presses deeper into the re-opened wound, and you manage to choke out a mouse-squeak of;

“Pl-please—”

It’s the right answer. His face does not soften; but his smile widens, his hips tilting until you’re so full you can barely move and you ache everywhere, and Strade simply smiles down at you as whatever passes for affection for him leaks into his tone and he coos;

“Don’t worry, mäuschen. I’ll give you exactly what you want. For as long as you need.”

[german translation dictionary;  schatzi - sweetheart/dear/darling/treasure mäuschen - little mouse sehr süß - very sweet/very cute so hübsch - so pretty idk how accurate these are i am just using google translate always]

[violetosprey]

BTD My thoughts on Sano

I covered my thoughts long ago on all of the “Till Death Do Us Part” game characters, but I never really took the time to talk about my thoughts about the main series “Boyfriend to Death” characters.  I have actually talked about many of these characters through various different posts.  But otherwise, there haven’t been that many posts dedicated specifically to certain BTD characters.

These posts will mostly be about my own opinions and views (a rough analysis more than anything).  I may end up focusing on multiple aspects of the character, or just one particular one if I think it defines them best (we’ll see).  For those that have read some of my other posts, there likely WILL be some thoughts I’ve stated before that I’ll simply be re-iterating here.  But there may also be some new stuff in here if it happens to come to mind, or because I’ve simply not had the time before to go over such a topic.

It will take a while to get through all 8, so please have some patience and just check back later if it looks like I don’t have a post up yet for a character you’re really interested in.  I will also be talking through these under the assumption that you’ve played/read all the routes (so I might mention but not go into explicit detail on a scene).

*major spoilers below for BTD and minor spoilers for BTD2*

Fun Fact:  Of the characters in the first BTD game, I’ve always thought Sano looked the most attractive.  Even more so than his twin Akira.  While the first character I ever saw for BTD was Strade, Sano I was more interested in playing believe it or not.  It’s so weird how it all turned out:  Initially got into BTD because of Strade, was the most interested in playing Sano’s route, and nowadays Rire is my second favorite in the BTD games (3rd if you count TDDUP).  Go figure!

If I were to have one thing to say about Sano, I’d say that he’s the most complex character in the original BTD game, but at the same time still fits in well with the original game’s more “pure evil” cast.  Now I went back and replayed a LITTLE bit of the game to double-check if what I’d originally that about his character still holds up.  So forgive me if I get something “off,” but I think I know where I want to go with this.

So the basics are Sano is: a demon naga (maybe hybrid, but lore has been scrapped and tossed around a lot), a medical student, and a serial killer.  Quite the combination!  His personality in general is very calm and collected.  Between him and the other BTD1 characters, Sano is the most no-nonsense.  Strade’s got a friendly demeanor, Rire’s sophisticated but deadly, and Sano treats his killing like its business.  Make no mistake though.  He does display some sadism here and there.  He can get a nice evil glint in his eye with a smirk on his face.  Just compared to the other two, Sano’s sadism seems to be played down a bit more in some areas.

What’s also interesting is that while he thinks of the MC more as a lab rat and just wants things to go as planned, I’d say among the original BTD cast that he’s more likely to feel sympathy towards the MC.  I just debate whether Sano or Akira are better at genuinely caring for the MC. Sano’s not as into shouting or defiance as Strade or Rire (hence why he likes when you answer his questions).  Can a guy just lobotomize his patient in peace?  Sheesh!  But he’ll also rub your legs to warm you up when you gently request it.  The Kojima twins are also the only ones that you get to have consensual sex with in the first game :P  Actually Sano doesn’t sexually harass you at all like the others. I suppose you could say any sadism he has is purely fueled by physical harm (maybe even psychological) to another.  Otherwise, he is mostly just interested in his research.  You’re a test subject to him, not a sex toy.

But when you do get close enough to Sano, he does indeed reciprocate.  I’ve stated it somewhere before, but out of the characters in the first BTD game, I’d say Sano is the one you have the best chances with if you get caught by him. Compared to the other two with just one survival ending, Sano has three.  Now he does have a nightmare fueled survival ending among those (like how Rire’s survival ending was a fate worse than death).  The other two though you actually come out of it…well alive and keeping your mind intact.  Sano even seems to treasure you in these endings.  Yeah if you had to get caught by one of them, pray you get Sano.  At least you have a chance for a happy ending then.  After BTD, the other games do certainly have some contenders for “best person to get caught by if you’re looking for a happy ending.”  

When I was writing this I thought about something though.  While I do believe Sano is the most “human” of these first game baddies (maybe only with Akira for competition), he actually still fits well into the first game.  I’ve mentioned this before, but I view the second game’s characters as having a little more depth.  We see a little more good in these characters (even Cain of all people you have some brief moments of quiet with him).  Vincent’s route definitely threw people for a loop, and I can tell from the polls that people just ate up Ren (as did I)! Sano’s got the complexity, but at the same time Sano doesn’t change who he is.

Let me explain.  Sano is well aware of what he is (a serial killer) and doesn’t care.  He can fall in love with the MC though (definitely more so than Strade or Rire probably ever could).  But what exactly happens when you get the two good survival endings with Sano?  In one of them, he amputates your limbs and keeps you as his precious doll.  In the other, you become his partner for his “studies.”  And if we bring up the survival ending where he “lets you go,”…you’re mind-controlled by a centipede in your brain!  So two things here:  1) Sano will never let you go once he has you and 2) Sano doesn’t change to become a better person once you’ve enraptured him.

Rather to survive, you need to change into what HE wants you to be.  Either you become something for him to own or you turn into a murderer yourself.  Call me crazy, but that’s not your typical “happy ending.”  Like I said though, that fits perfectly with the theme of these games, especially the first game in general.

I like Sano (there’s only ever been one character I even didn’t like, and it wasn’t from the main BTD games).  He certainly stood out on his own.  I like these games because they’re pretty good about keeping the characters different from each other.  Even ones I thought were the most similar still had their differences.  I think the only problem I have is with the doll ending.  Oh no don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I didn’t like it.  Actually I kind of LOVE that kind of theme.  That obsession with dolls, and then trying to amputate someone to keep them (oh yeah, you bet I liked when that came up again with Lawrence).  My problem was that this detail about Sano was only brought up at the end of the game. I would have really liked to have seen more hints about it here and there.  I think maybe the creator might have mentioned once though that they felt the same way (one of the reasons he wanted to revamp them at one point).  Oh well.

So thank you Puke, your character’s hot looks helped hook me into this mess :P

[fox-meat]

2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 36, 37, 39, 40, 41, 42, 44, 50

2. Where's the most unusual place you've masturbated?: Hrrmm good question, no where too weird I don't think. My living room? Never done it in public lmao

3. Where's the most unusual place you've had sex?: Oh boy, uh, I mean aside from our room, I've done some stuff in a tent, and the other place would probably be my bf's parent's bed XD

5. What's your favorite sex position?: Okay so, me on my back, guy kneeling in front of me and going in, my right leg hooked around his hips, my left up in the air against his right shoulder so he goes in deep /)//////(\

7. What're your biggest turn-ons while making out?: Oh god so many, okay, here we go. Touching me literally /anywhere/ will probably make me lose my mind. Waist, scratching my back, my hips, my NECK OR MY FACE makes me melt hhhhh, I also love hearing the other person moan, or bite my lip, or growl something to me,,,,,

8. What're your most unusual turn-ons in general?: Well I'm a kinky/kinnie bitch so, I do enjoy being threatened. "I'll break your neck" is flirtation. Same with "You smell delicious". NOT NICE I MELT! UNFAIR! Uhhh there's a lot of things, some mostly based on any kin shifts I might be in. Right now I'm in Ren so I'll add in, speaking German, clicking open a pocket knife, smiling while hurting me, hhhhh yeah. Yeah. Lots of. things.

9. What's your darkest fantasy?: Okay so this obviously changes but. Basically rn since I'm in a Ren shift, I'd probably like something to do with the people I knew. Strade, Vincent, Farz, and apparently a Lawrence. Would be interesting to be tag teamed by them! Vince punches me for a while, Farz stabs out an eye (or two), Strade carving out things or taking off fingers, toes, a fox ear, hhhhhh, and then Lawrence gutting me, trying to crawl inside me. Stuff like that /)////////////(\

10. If you could have one fantasy fulfilled right now, what would it be?: LOL I should read these questions ahead. Uhhh okay so, well I really want someone to tease the /fuck/ out of me. Like either tying me to a bed or just letting me be loose, touching and teasing me, until I'm /begging/ to be fucked, and still not giving in. And then doing more, messing with my ears, my tail, licking and biting me, hhhhh everything, and /still/ giving me nothing. All of this while saying what a dirty, naughty little fox I am. How needy I am (I'm in heat so LOL), how I'm so pathetic and whiny. By the time they finally touch me, I instantly cum /)///////(\ MOVING ON

12. What are your hard limits?: Okay uh, nothing with scat. Watersports don't bother me, but they're not a turn on. Same with like, vomit. Doesn't bother me in a roleplay way, but not inrl. I don't have too many other hard limits tbh! Feel free to ask for specific ones if you're interested :3

13. How often do you masturbate?: Okay so I hate doing it like, when my bf is home. So it's normally on days I don't work and I take him to work. So maybe.. 2-4 times a week? Not often at all. I'm more thinking about/roleplaying sex than actually doing anything about it.

14. Have you ever been caught masturbating or having sex?: Hrm a few times we've been in the middle of about to do stuff and my bf's sister will come upstairs. Never masturbating though!

21. Have you tasted yourself? If so, then what did you think?: Hhhh okay so, I did a looong time ago and recently when I did it was almost.. sweet? Like barely sweet. Wasn't bad, and could also be considered a turn on. Someone fingering me, then making me taste it. (OR THEM TASTING IT AND SAYING I TASTE GOOD AAAAAAAAAAAAA) inrl though I don't like people going down on me or touching me. It's mostly about fear of being hurt. But in roleplay anything goes!

22. Are you vocal during sex?: OH VERY I can be quiet if I reeaalllyy try but I whimper and whine a lot.

23. Do you like being rough with your partner? Do you like when your partner is rough with you?: Being rough to someone else is hard, I get nervous. Being rough with ME is a lot better. I can take it~ I'm like a punching bag.

24. Do you like being restrained? Do you like restraining your partner?: If I'm doing it to someone else, I end up keeping them tied up tight so I can either hurt them or force feed them. I looooove being restrained. Never had it happen, but I always wanted like, someone to hold me either gently or roughly while another hurt me. (While typing that I had specific people in my mind doing it AAAA) so yeah.

26. What are your favorite parts/features on each gender you're attracted to?: Honestly? Love breasts. Love them. Butts are great too. I'm attracted to all genders so ??? don't really have a preference.

27. Have you ever tried something sexual and decided you weren't into it?: I actually don't think so? Aside from one guy saying he had a six foot dick and wanted to do vore-stuff with it :P yeah no. Not my thing.

28. What are your erogenous zones?: Specifically for a Ren shift, my ears and tail are definitely overly sensitive. My neck is too, and my face being touched is hhhhh so good. And my back/waist being touched or scratched is nice~

29. What're the most effective ways to tease you in public?: Oh I'm gonna regret this. So basically, it's very easy. If we're together while I'm in person, whispering anything into my ear will probably make me all flustered and blushy. If you're messaging me and I'm in public, 100% basically anything threatening to fuck me or hurt me will get me. Almost guarenteed.

30. What're your favorite was to tease your partner in public?: Well with my adorable little feedee boyfriend, I tell him how fat he's getting and how people probably think he uses a motor cart cause he's too fat to walk around ;3 around with how everyone probably thinks he's a precious little girl~

31. What's your biggest sexual pet peevee?: WHEN IM ROLEPLAYING AND EITHER I HAVE TO LEAVE OR THEY DO AND THEN IM SITTING THERE WAITING FOR HOURS AND THEN EITHER WE JUST DECIDE NOT TO CONTINUE OR AAAAAAAAAA I HATE IT AND I KNOW ITS NO ONES FAULT IT JUST SUCKS ITS LIKE A HUUUUUGE COCK BLOCK

32. If you could dress/style someone to be as attractive to you as possible, what would they look like?: Okay uhh, depends I guess? Let's say it's a guy. Black leather jacket, tshirt, jeans, boots probably. (Basically Vincent Metzger LOL).

33. If you had to put on an outfit to turn-on your partner the most during a date, what would it be?: Oh if it's for my feedee, he'd probably love me in something that doesn't fit me well and would be super tight heheh. I never think I really turn people on that well.OH he does love when I'm naked and wearing only an apron >///

34.  What are your favorite pet names/dirty names to be called during sex?: Oh god so many. SO MANY. Okay so, good boy, good fox, Fuchs, little bitch, slut, whore, naughty, (I don't like nasty very much), dirty, pathetic, weak, whiny, hhhhh there's a lot. a lot.

36. What's the best sexual compliment you've ever received?: Oh that I'm good at blowjobs apparently. I'll take it though~ I also hear that my screams and whines are apparently nice to hear.

37. Do you enjoy it when your partner has piercings and/or tattoos? Are there any particular body parts where you like your partner to have them?: I love lip and tongue piercings, along with ear ones. Wouldn't turn down a dick piercing, never tried having sex with someone who has one. I'd also probably be happy about any tattoos. I like seeing them on arms mostly.

39. If your partner was going to send you a video of themselves, what would they do to make it turn you on the most?: Hhhhh well, something along the lines of "Get your ass over here so I can fuck you", or anything of them with a knife. Mmnnnnn.

40. Are you a screamer, a grunter, a moaner, or a groaner?: Mostly a moaner and a screamer, sometimes a groaner. Hhhhh.

41. Is "vanilla" sex boring or underrated?: With the right person? Totally underrated. Like it's gotta be a comfortable, relaxing experience with someone you love.

42. What's the best orgasm you've had in the past few months?: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I can't go into details but I was roleplaying while masturbating, and yeah. It was great. So great. So fucking great.

44. Do you enjoy seeing your partner have sex with others? Would you want them to do all of the same things that they're willing to do with you, or would some be off-limits? Hhhh with my feedee boyfriend, I'd be a little iffy on letting other people feed him. Last time I let someone who wasn't Keir do it, they turned into the worst person in my life :') So. Other than that, I think I'd be okay. He's obviously allowed to do whatever he wants, so I wouldn't stop him. I might not want to see it though.

50. Have you ever cum without having your genitals directly stimulated?: hhhh yeah, touching my chest and teasing me a lot can do it, definitely. Mmmnn.

Thank you for all these questions!!!! I need to do more heheh, thank you!!!

[violetosprey]

I think that past post was trying to say that Strade wouldn't of felt guilt like ren clearly did for really any of the things he does. strade will kill you if you hurt ren but he calls ren "my fox" so we can assume Strade see him as a pet or possession. Even if he does kill Ren is conflicted and you have to work for it. Honestly the fact Ren is as nice as he still makes me wonder how long he was with Strade. Ren is ironically more human than strade and thats factoring in his past with strade.

Ooooh that makes more sense.  Yeah I agree with that.

Well according to the faqs page on the Gurobob tumblr, Ren is 19 in BTD and 21 in BTD2.  That doesn’t exactly tell us though when he became free from Strade.  I don’t know how young of a person Strade is willing to hurt too (so no idea when he got picked up either).  I can’t remember if Gato ever stated when Ren met Strade either.

I guess if Ren still has a friendly manner and acts normal when he’s out…I couldn’t have been for more than a few years.  I’m going to guess…only 4 years max?  With his personality, I’d say 2 years max seems more likely actually.

[violetosprey]

TDDUP My thoughts on Marcus

Doing one of these for each of the 5 stars in TDDUP (yes, even the ladies).  This is incredibly subjective, so I decided not to call this a review.  Rant sounds too negative to me, it’s more a mix of gushing and analysis here.  Anyways, MAJOR SPOILERS ahead because I may talk about stuff not revealed until the very end of a play through.  In fact I’m probably going to talk in a way that just assumes the person reading this has completed TDDUP.  Kinda like, “Oh I won’t give the whole story of this scene because you know what I’m talking about.”  On to Marcus!  

WARNING:  This will probably be the longest post (I will be surprised if Aria or Ellen top this).  Sorry about this.

Oh my gosh, I had to hold back hard not talking about Marcus first.  He is my absolute favorite in this game.  Why?  Because I love me a good male yandere!  Not just that, he’s my favorite flavor of yandere too: Tall, clean shaven, awesome tattoos, masculine, forceful, and in a position of power (a cop here).  It makes him the absolute worst stalker you could possibly have.  He’s a total a**hole and I love every minute of it.  Is he the best made character in TDDUP?  I don’t know, that’s debatable.  Probably not the best judge on that myself because again, I’m being biased here based on my own tastes.  If I weren’t playing favorites...I’d say maybe Jack or Ellen are more interesting, but I also just really love how straight forward Marcus is.

One of the first things you’ll notice about Marcus is he has the fewest endings of any character.  I’ll admit, I was a little disappointed when I first saw this.  But when I thought about it more, it started to make more sense to me.  There isn’t a reason for Marcus to have a lot of endings because unlike the other characters, Marcus has complete control.  In Chris’s case, he snapped after MC broke the last straw for him.  In Jack’s case, MC got nosy and Jack (while remaining calm at first) was forced into a position where he had to detain you...which he never seemed to have been prepared to do.  Marcus though, HE’S the one who  pulled you over in your car, HE’S the one who killed John and kidnapped you, and HE’S the one who literally created a cage specifically for you in his own house.

Marcus doesn’t have a lot of endings because the MC was doomed to fail from the start.  He’s a cop, so he knows how not to leave behind tracks to a crime, and he knows how to prevent people from escaping confinement.  He’s smart, knows how to act in public, and there’s no way you’re going to overpower him.  His goal is to keep you with him...forever.  The only control you have over this situation is your actions that just determine how nice Marcus ends up treating you.  And he only gets nicer if he completely breaks you.  THAT’S scary.  What’s more, he knows there’s nothing you can do against him, so why waste all his effort and kill you?  He’s ticked off at you for leaving him and dating another, he makes that very clear, but he’d rather have you all to himself than kill you.

He’s not looking to court you at all (he probably thinks that he did that already, so he’s just trying to get things back to the way they used to be between you two), he’s looking for total submission.  When you respond the way he likes, then he becomes pleasant and loving.  It’s completely possible you could end up living comfortably in Marcus’s home.  All you need to do, is accept the fact as the MC, that you will never see your family or friends again, that you will never see ANYONE other than Marcus again, and that you probably will never see outside of that house again (and depending on your behavior, perhaps even outside of the room you’re trapped in).  Oh, and also that the most work you’re probably going to be doing is satisfying Marcus, because despite being almost 40 that guy has no off button.  Better hope you can either keep up or that he’s got long work hours still.

What I like about Marcus is that there’s also a LOT of room for head canon here with his character.  For example, I stated before that Marcus is the one that brings about this entire scenario.  Where the MC “went wrong” really depends on when you consider Marcus’s love to have turned into obsession.  If you’re optimistic, you could consider it back when you were filing the divorce.  Puke mentioned in some answers that Marcus was blindsided by the divorce.  Depending on how severe you believe Marcus’s possessive behavior was (or how rooted), talking it out properly with him could have solved the problem.  This is if you consider the divorce to have been a trigger for his obsession (and however many months or years you were apart).  If you aren’t that optimistic though, then your mistake with Marcus could have been as far back as: saying “I do” to marrying him, accepting his first date offer, to even just meeting him for the first time.  You’re free to believe just how far back his obsession started.  After all, all his roads lead to crazy anyway :P  I don’t know where my head canon lies with him, but I think sometime before marrying him his obsession started.

There’s also a lot of ideas to play with how he treats you as he holds you captive.  You know that he’ll resort to force and hurting you if you don’t do what he wants.  He does drink a little it seems, so you can expand upon that.  But there’s other little things like: does he ever give you anything for you to pass the time with in that room?  This sounds like a weird question, but he could either try to gain your favor by providing you small things (that you can’t hurt him or yourself with) to pass the time while he’s at work.  Or he could give you absolutely nothing, forcing you to be left alone with your own thoughts and to almost look forward to whenever Marcus comes home.  I could easily see Marcus using this as a manipulative tactic.

I made a joke once about whether Marcus gave you anymore clothes or just leaves you naked :P  Actually I could see him providing you, not any underwear, but JUST one of his shirts (a button down one) to wear if you’re short enough for it to almost be like a short dress.  I totally seem him doing that because it’d look more like he owns you and he wouldn’t have much to take off when he wants to get busy :P

He could easily offer to get specific food as treats or incentives to the MC (even fast food might sound like a treat if MC hasn’t had it in a long time).  Food’s great because it’s only temporary.  Marcus could also occasionally let you out of the room supervised.  He’d just have to close his blinds and lock all the doors and windows so no one saw MC in his house.  I kinda doubt he’d ever offer to let MC outside the house for two reasons though: 1) If he’s framed MC for murder, he would not want to risk anyone recognizing you and reporting to the police and 2) Marcus is incredibly possessive and probably wouldn’t want to share you with the world anyway.  If he can keep you to himself, why wouldn’t he?

I think this is pretty evident by the fact of how he brutally murdered John.  Poor John!  That’s the kind of man you’d want to marry.  Doesn’t matter his physique, poor guy’s got a heart of gold.  I actually liked that contrast how you left a very handsome and muscular man with a respectable/cool job, and started dating an overweight guy who works in information technology (Not to knock information technology here!  It’s actually really useful in this day and age...just doesn’t sound as cool or courageous as a cop haha).  Moral of the story:  Marry someone for their personality, not their job or body.  But getting back to the subject, I’d say it’s up for debate whether Marcus was caught off guard by John and just had to kill him to avoid witnesses for the kidnapping, or if Marcus purposefully went there that night to kill two birds with one stone.  I lean towards the latter because he tried to kill John slowly and painfully at first.

Interestingly, I don’t consider Marcus a sadist.  He IS rough, and he likes to dirty talk.  But killing John I feel like was more out of a grudge than sadism.  The scarring scene is pretty sadistic, but again depending on how you behave, Marcus will either be violent about it or really careful.  I just consider Marcus incredibly unstable regarding the person he “loves.”  It’s probably because we’ve had BTD characters who are very clearly sadistic like Strade, Rire, and Cain.  Marcus isn’t nice, that’s for sure, but I think his ultimate goal is to live peacefully with MC, not to constantly torture you.

I like how Marcus’s red heart is also ONLY a bleeding heart.  Again, that’s why it’s so funny to compare Jack and Marcus.  Jack’s red heart feels more like a gentle love than what Marcus has towards you.  I think the bleeding heart for Marcus was a good choice because it really shows that he’s taking this way too far.  He probably genuinely believes he’s in love and you’re meant to be together, but it’s just all wrong.  Even when he’s “falling out of love,” he still doesn’t kill you.  Like I said, he’s got complete control.  If you’re being too defiant, he’ll just get mad and start to treat you like a lowly pet.  He’s set it up that he can take all the time he wants to train you.  He knows he just has to wait for either something like stockholm syndrome to set in, or for you to become exhausted from the pain and misery so that you start obeying him to make life easier.  And then Marcus’s heart would probably be back up to a bleeding heart when that happens because MC is responding the way he wants you to.  Yeah I don’t think he ever completely falls out of love, just gets ticked off haha.

The first ending I got with Marcus was the one where he starts treating you worse than the cat :P  I was kind of doing a mix of being defiant and obediant, just ended up with his heart too low.  Made sense I guess.  My favorite ending has to be the “Marcus framed you” ending.  First of all, I just love the image in my head of MC tied up and gagged while Marcus looks triumphant over them, having just proved he’s pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes.  I’ll call that a story fetish I guess.  Makes Marcus look even more devious and MC even more helpless.  Also, I like this ending because MC has not lost all of their sanity.  Which means...the misery gets drawn out longer.  MC remains fully aware of their trapped situation.

I guess I should explain.  I don’t know what people think of when they hear someone say “I like yanderes.”  First off, I’ll be very clear that my love for male yanderes is only in fictional settings.  They’re fun when it’s safe for you to just read or watch them in fictional media.  Real life, they’d be horrifying.  Basically, same rules with any horrifying/disgusting/unsettling fictional content someone looks at.  Trust me, the thousands of people who have seen the “Saw” movies are not all either a) secretly wishing to put real people in those traps or b) secretly wishing to die in such a gruesome way.  Have some faith in humanity :P

There is a “romance” element to yanderes I suppose.  I guess it fills the “man I wish I had someone who was completely devoted to me alone,” or the “I wish I was the exception in the villain’s life” quota.  And I kinda feel that way too.  But really, I like the male yanderes similar to how people like Freddy Krueger, or Michael Myers, or Jason: they’re a HORROR character to me.  And this particular kind of horror character is not often looking to kill the protagonist, but to control their life.

In my eyes, you’ve taken the concept of “love,” and a goal that’s honestly what most people have (finding someone to spend the rest of your life with) and turned it into something that will cause a person to shake in fear.  I love that twist.  I never get tired of it.  You can also think of it like when you like two different genres and find they work well when you mix them together.  It’s like mixing a shoujo romance with a psychological horror.  Works well for me, but maybe not for other people.  I guess it’s like, if you mixed carrots and honey, would you like it or hate it?  All personal preference.

So I like the “Marcus framed you” ending because no matter how hard I try, I CANNOT see a yandere ever settling down in a “happy ending” with the main character.  It depends on how far the yandere goes, and Marcus goes WAY off the deep end.  Yandere’s just don’t make ideal love interests for rather obvious reasons.  The best argument I’ve think I’ve seen is Yuno from Mirai Nikki, and I’m still torn about whether her and Yuki should have ended up together.  I could see other people liking the “mind break” endings, but those aren’t my thing because I don’t actually want the MC to fully submit to someone like Marcus.  He’s an awful human being XD

If I got a little creepy there, don’t worry.  Next post entry I get knocked down a peg *shivers.*  I did manage to find something that unsettled me in TDDUP.  But that’s later.

But yeah, Marcus was a delight!  He’s everything I want to see in a fictional yandere.  Plus, with his extra scene, there may be a little hope for MC if a certain hot cop gets too suspicious of Marcus.  Jason did show he wasn’t too sure about Marcus bouncing back so quickly.  I fully approve of him being the one to rescue MC!

I actually really wonder how Marcus would act when confronted, either by MC or another cop like Jason.  If they compared him to being the same as the criminals he puts away, is Marcus so crazy and unstable that he’d deny it?  I guess I could see him thinking something along the lines of “he’s different.”  Puke did mention that he’s generally supposed to be a good person because he’s a cop.  He’s good at his job and very focused.  Probably has saved lives.  Really he’s just doing ONE bad thing...well two, he murdered John still in addition to keeping you captive.  He might even think that because of all the good he’s done, he deserves to be with MC.  Especially if he believes it’s because he’s in love with you.  After all, it’s just two people’s lives he changed vs. however many he saved.  Surely he can have this right?  Sarcasm’s probably a low form of comedy, but oh well :P  It’s dark humor here.

Man I should probably stop this now before I think of anything else.  I shudder at the thought of how many typos are in here.  I really just wrote whatever came to mind, haha.  But thank you Puke, I really did adore Marcus.  The only problem I had with this whole route...is I can’t think of a good MC design myself to put with Marcus *groans.*  But that’s a personal problem XD  Eventually I’ll find a design to settle on.  I’m just too into male yanderes to claim if Marcus really is the best character development or story wise in TDDUP.  It’s all personal preference I guess.

Man, next post will be such a blatant contrast to this one XD

[violetosprey]

TDDUP My thoughts on Jack

Doing one of these for each of the 5 stars in TDDUP (yes, even the ladies).  This is incredibly subjective, so I decided not to call this a review.  Rant sounds too negative to me, it’s more a mix of gushing and analysis here.  Anyways, MAJOR SPOILERS ahead because I may talk about stuff not revealed until the very end of a play through.  In fact I’m probably going to talk in a way that just assumes the person reading this has completed TDDUP.  Kinda like, “Oh I won’t give the whole story of this scene because you know what I’m talking about.”  Anyway, next up we have Jack! 

In terms of both favorite character and play through, Jack is tied in second with Ellen for me (for similar reasons).  I LOVED these playthroughs, probably for similar reasons.  They’re two sides of the same coin concerning the subject matter.  I’ll get to Ellen later though.  Honestly, the only reason these two aren’t my number one favorite play through in TDDUP is because I’m biased and have a weakness for male yanderes *sweats* (but more on Marcus later).

Jack is a character you are either going to love...or cringe at and stay 10 yards away from at all times (you know, for the “ewwww” factor).  For whatever reason, the necrophilia did not scare me aware.  I think I was prepared for it after some other BTD characters that have been implied to do the same.  Which means I actually got to focus on more on the little things with Jack.  Or at least after a few playthroughs getting over the fact that he likes put you as close to the decomposing bodies as possible and sexually assault you after he’s just been doing...things.

The most important thing I want to say is that after playing all of Jack’s routes: I firmly believe that Jack genuinely loves the MC.  I’m serious.  I’m talking the same kind of love Chris had for MC (prior to his snap), not the crazy kind of love Marcus shows to an unhealthy degree.  Make no mistake, Jack is a horrible human being; he has been killing people and having sex with their corpses for YEARS.  Being nice on the outside to friends and family and being a good professor does not justify a person’s right to kill people at random for sexual pleasure. 

That being said, Jack’s character is so much more complex because of this.  It’s not just the stuff in the beginning that make me think he’s honestly in love with the MC either.  Playing the nice husband could have easily all been an act to give him the appearance to everyone on the outside that he’s a normal citizen.  Sociopaths can be pretty good at blending into society.  It’s not that they don’t know how a normal person should act, it’s just that they don’t care about anyone in reality.  No but while Jack remains calm when you catch him in the act and he keeps you trapped in the basement, there’s clear signs that he doesn’t know what to do from there.

He keeps asking himself what to do, even resorting talking to a severed head for comfort in the situation.  In one dialogue, MC makes it clear they believe Jack is ultimately going to kill them, only for Jack to say “No, I haven’t decided that yet.”  Serial Killer rule # 1: Leave no witnesses.  If Jack’s a true sociopath, and a veteran serial killer, there’s hardly a reason to hesitate killing the MC.  If MC works mostly at their house, the MC going missing for awhile isn’t an issue, and Jack could probably fabricate something.  And he’s already killed tons of people...it’s not like murdering the MC will send him to jail any more or less then before if he gets caught.

There’s only two times Jack kills you, the first being if you yell at him.  I’m guessing this is the one where he does come to the conclusion that “There’s no way MC is not going to tattle on me” AND he may even feel betrayed or....hurt?  I say this because there’s another ending where he just leaves, and I’m trying to think of the difference between the killing ending and the leaving you alone ending.  He probably considers in both that you’re going to tattle inevitably, but for some reason he gets mad enough to kill you in the one ending.  I can only speculate.  The other kill ending, Jack just kind of gets a little too into the sex and kills you probably in a mix of killer instinct and on accident (I don’t think he’s thinking things through) while he’s in a state of ecstasy.  Think of it like Strade’s bleeding heart kill in BTD.  

Jack was the most difficult one for me to get all the endings for.  The first ending that I got, and the one I got the majority of the time was the “You are alone” ending.  To be honest, I think personally this ending not only makes the most sense to me, but it’s what I would consider canon for Jack.  That’s just my opinion though.  Like I said, Jack wasn’t really prepared to have you down in the basement.  Whatever happened, the MC had managed to become an exception in Jack’s life.  While he’s got a clearly different sexual preference, he never wanted to make you one of his corpses.  Or at least he thought about it, but he didn’t want you to decompose and leave him like a corpse usually would.  He probably never had any intentions of EVER of letting MC know his secret.  But when he couldn’t think of a way to preserve you or prevent you from telling his secret, he left on his own.  In my eyes, it was both a way for Jack to protect himself, and to prove one last time that he really did love the MC.  Not fantastic that he left without a word while you were trapped in the basement...but the code also happens to be your birth date :P

It’s almost hilarious if I compare Jack and Marcus: Jack is a serial killer and necrophiliac who loves you so much that he doesn’t want to hurt you and will let you go, while Marcus is an upstanding cop who is just so obsessed with you that he WILL hurt you and will never let you go.  10 points Puke for the contrast.  I love it!

But yeah, I absolutely loved Jack.  He was definitely a villain, but he had more dimensions than that.  He’s a very loving family man (even hinted to be towards his ex and son as well).  Doesn’t excuse his deeds, but doesn’t make him flat either.  It’s also what makes him incredibly different from the other BTD villains.  Most of them were far more sadistic outwardly and wouldn’t often display such an inner conflict.  A good character and addition to the series overall.

I can’t wait to see young Jack in “Mark of Belial.”  He’ll definitely make the story interesting.