#yang’s been disabled longer than she’s been abled

[invincibleweasel]

Take a shot any time a Bumbleby artist draws Yang without her prosthetic.

Actually don’t because you’ll be dead in no time.

[cosxtan]

thoughts about iron widow, its yin yang imagery, and how patriarchal societies keep everyone down

General thoughts on Xiran Jay Zhao's book Iron Widow. Spoilers!

iron widow comes right out the gate with yin yang imagery. it starts with a butterfly with yin yang wings, the dual pilots of the mechs are characterized by yin and yang properties, and the mindscape they enter during battle is just a straightup a yin and yang. the first lines of the book get into it too.

but what the book also touches on is how brutally women are treated in the patriarchal society of the story. we're in the perspective of wu zetian, a frontier girl whose only paths in life were to die as a concubine soldier, or to marry to a random man to satisfy his every whim. girls are often drowned locked in pig cages when they are dishonored or disobey.

zetian is a physical manifestation of the society's toxic norms. her feet have been so broken by foot binding done for aesthetic purposes that she has to wobble places with a cane. The author is always very deliberate in describing zetian as hobbling, not walking (side note, look up foot binding. It's real and it's highly disturbing!)

after many shenanigans, including killing her sister's abuser (based) and dumping his corpse out of a mech during a livestream (BASED), she gets matched with a pilot that's bound to kill her: li shimin, a death row inmate who was spared for his aptitude with mechs. he killed his whole family! one of the worst crimes in their society. he has to be muzzled and chained and bribed with alcohol to cooperate, piloting the most powerful mech in the fleet: the Vermilion Bird

but all is not really as it seems. after their first violent confrontation doesn't kill one or both of them, zetian and shimin are put in housing together and trained while under constant threat of execution if they dont comply. zetian learns that as a death row inmate, shimin was forced into labor camps and administered electric shocks if he didn't work fast enough. so much so, in fact, that his hands have lost their finer functionalities. he can no longer paint or write like he was able to as a child, something that brought him comfort and joy.

the symbolism is pretty clear to me. with two functioning feet and two functioning hands between them, they represent a unique kind of symmetry that the yin yang generally embodies. they are both disabled, but they work as a single unit within the Vermilion Bird.

it also brings up another layer of flaws in the patriarchal society. while the mistreatment of women is obvious and brutal, the men are harmed by this system as well. shimin was contorted by the government and media to look like an unhinged serial killer (this also makes reference societal racism, as he isn't fully Han like the rest of the cast). even as a man, he's just another cog that people want to discard because he's not up to par. they even ripped out one of his kidneys and half his liver.

but i think it goes a layer deeper than that. because while shimin and zetian are both abused and harmed by the society they live in, shimin still gets the better end of the deal. he isn't immediately executed for his crime of patricide, when zetian surely would have been. while he's disabled, he still has limited use of his hands. meanwhile, zetians feet are forever broken and unusable. he had options in his life before the incident. she did not. i think at their core, zetian and shimin represent yin yang from a unique perspective of being symbols of the damage patriarchal structures and societies can do to people. it's a really solid and consistent theme for a ya book. like, genuinely interesting and nuanced. hats off to zhao for their impeccable writing

[invested-in-your-future]

What do you think would have been the best way to fix Yang's trauma?

Oh jeez, I haven't REALLy thought about this for a while. Its not like I haven't been thinking about it, but in detail its been a while. Where to begin...

I don't...think it should be something that is to be "fixed".

That's one of key issues with RWBY as a show - its so terrified of change that it wants to ignore what characters went through and if it can't - a quick fix on character issues if they do come up ("You have crippling depression from extremely traumatic event? Well boohoho, I was afraid of mice once").

You can't "heal" traumatic experiences.

You can learn to live with them, you can lessen the impact and chance of having an episode, you can adapt.

But its never about "fixing" or "healing".

And it applies to more than just Yang. The same applies to Ruby, the same applies to Blake (I talked before about battered woman syndrome and how RWBY kind of makes light of it in case of Blake's arc) and actually to a lot of characters.

Basically, the way one handles trauma is by accounting for it when writing a character from the point of the trauma forward.

A character can function perfectly fine and the traumatic experience in their past might not even come up in a scene, but as a writer one must be always aware of it, in case it needs to. It helps to not write yourself into situations where you end up making something extremely insensitive towards the topic subject (like I don't know, making fun of Blake being a "scaredy cat" as she jumps at literally shadows, while forgetting the impact an abusive figure like Adam has upon her).

So to go back to Yang, one needs to realize that giving a character a prosthetic SHOULD NOT BE meant to be a "fix it all" for a disability, giving character a pep talk SHOULD NOT BE meant to be "fix it all" for emotional and psychological trauma.

If you do ANY of that? You failed to write the character.

A prosthetic is empowerment and convenience, but its not the same as having your own hand (and magically fixing disabilities is also bad trope please don't do this). A pep talk (even cringy one) is meant to inspire, but it can't rewrite the past.

So to answer on how one would "fix" it?

The answer is easy: writing an actual character arc that accounts for her traumatic experience and walks her through the common issues she would absolutely struggle with, allowing her to overcome the parts she CAN overcome.

In terms of the arm, simplest things like how one opens a door or gets out of bed can become small victories and steps of progress. In trauma like that, the harder aspect is always parsing what is no longer there, rather than what you replace it with. Its kind of gross that the show just skips past that (then again majority of things that should be on-screen are offscreen, so that stuff nobody needs could be on-screen). Portraying Yang as someone just as capable with one arm, portraying Yang as someone who learns to live with her disability and reasserts her value as somebody who is not dependent on how "able" she is, is extremely empowering idea and the show just skips it.

In terms of psychological trauma, maybe doing some research or hiring a consultant for psychological aspects would have helped. Because what happened in V3 should be all means affect how character is written. "fear of mice" moment is gross and should not work. What happened stays and you thus need to write HOW Yang approaches what happened and how she learns to live with that trauma or lessens it's effect.

Talking from POV of psychology, there are absolutely things that should tie together to that trauma even if years pass. You can get better with living with your trauma, but the tricky nature of our emotions and our mind is that it takes one specific set of circumstances and you have another episode and you feel like you haven't made progress at all(which is not true but you think that).

So whether positively or negatively, trauma WILL affect the character till the day you write that final "fin" endcard.

It only makes sense to write Yang as someone that has to rediscover her place in the world, her self-worth and find all over again who she is, because its also natural steps within dealing with a traumatic experience.

So I guess that's how I'd have done it.

Take Yang where she is after the Fall of Beacon, establish the kind of traumatic issues she is dealing with, properly portray her struggle, while also focusing on raising the question of who she is and who she wants to be and what she can do in regards of that. It does not mean all steps are forward and it does not mean all choices are right, but the choices are hers. And Mistakes are hers to make.

Its not done to move the plot or so she can go on a journey or so the status quo can be restored. Its done because it makes sense for her character. Because character agency matters A LOT.

If you write a character with a goal of "just throwing the team back together in X number of episodes" you already failed every single of those characters. It takes X number of episodes? Great! It takes multiple volumes? Also great! The situation can't go back to status quo because of how much things changed? ALSO great. Whatever it takes to make a fulfilling character journey.

Likewise Ruby and her guilt and trauma should absolutely have been the focus and Blake's own fears shouldn't have been made light on.

And same extends to character interactions - you don't just sweep under the rug things like character misunderstandings or consequences of words said and actions taken. Blake and Yang absolutely should have gotten a progression arc of dealing with what happened in V3 and how Blake leaving impacted Yang, for example. If you just flip the switch one day and its all fine you already failed those characters.

In a lot of ways a proper RWBY story for me has always been about dealing with what came before and how it is affecting who you are now - Summer's fate affects who Ruby is, Adam's behavior affects Blake, Weiss family affects Weiss, expectations and aimlessness affects Yang, Ozpin's mistakes affect the world and The Fall of Beacon affects everyone and should absolutely impact how the ENTIRE show goes.

The show basically writes itself with all the meaty set-up Fall of Beacon gives to basically entire cast that can follow that specific theme. And it doesn't.

And its kind of sad that RWBY completely lost that part of itself, becoming a show that essentially doesn't have time for it's own characters...

[dragynkeep]

Remembers to add a tiny bumblebee pen on Blake's notes but straight up forget to add Yang's prosthetic arm. What's so great about this stupid ship anyway? It's unhealthy, makes no sense, and only used for marketing.

unfortunately erin really showed where her priorities lied in that moment & it goes back to what i said in another ask ; queer representation will always be at the top of the representation pyramid for these people.

yang's unconfirmed queerness took priority over her confirmed status as a disabled woman, who has literally been disabled longer in canon than she was able bodied. it's mind boggling.

[hadesisqueer]

How do you feel about Yang and how she’s summarized in Vol. 8 as suspicious and emotional?

Late, but better late than ever. I've been waiting for this one. It's probably the longest because as I said, I make either two lines or just an entire character analysis lol. And I'm going to do it properly this time.

Okay, I straight (gay) up don't know where to start. I love Yang. I truly love Yang. She's not perfect, she has many flaws, but that's what I like the most about her. I can't help but laugh when some people say she's a Mary Sue.

Childhood, first volumes.

Yang starts the series as the funny blonde hot girl that goes around punching people. And I liked that, but I also like how she wasn't just that, as I said with Nora being the comic relief. Like, there's so much more in Yang than that, just like Weiss turned up to be much more than just the bratty tsundere.

Yang's mother abandoned her. Her other mother disappeared. Her sister was a toddler that didn't really get what was going on except her mother being gone, and her father was so depressed that for a good while, he wasn't even able to raise her daughters. Can you imagine being in that situation? I imagine she was, at most, six when that happened. She was forced to become Ruby's mother figure at six. She was forced to become the fucking adult in the house at six.

Damn, you can even see the difference between how Qrow talks to Ruby and how he talks to Yang, at least at the begining. He talks to Ruby as her uncle, as her mentor. He may tease Yang a little because she's still his niece, but when he talks to her, he always talks like she's an equal. Like, Tai still considered Yang a kid, but Qrow treats her like an adult, and knows and expects her to be the mature one. Because he saw her all those years, being forced grow up so fast. He trusts her to protect and take care of Ruby, and she trust him to protect her as well.

And damn, all of this really explains her behaviour when the series began. As Ruby got older and started to be able to take care of herself, and Tai eventually started to be functional again, Yang had more freedom. Her personality and eagerness for adventure and parties and all of that - is just her trying to make up for her sacrificed childhood. But even then she still was, out of all the girls, the most mature and nurturing of team RWBY. She is the party girl, yes. The hot headed one that will break legs. But she's still the adult of the group.

And then volume 3 happens. She gets framed in front of the entire world, two of her friends die, Beacon falls, she loses her arm in the most traumatic way possible; Weiss, her friend, is basically taken away from her and Blake -her partner, the girl she probably already had feelings for at that point- left, triggering her abandonment issues. And of course, PTSD, because she isn't fucked up enough already. She's so fucking destroyed that she can't even talk about Weiss, about Blake, about what happened. She doesn't even want talk to Ruby, because she can't stand the thought of her little sister seeing her at that state. She is not used to be the one people have to take care of, and it becomes more and more obvious in the next volumes.

Disability, recovery, abandonment issues

I like how volume 4 treats her recovery. I mean, I wish her storyline was longer, but I also like the DC comics. Now, the thing is, she isn't really recovered. In vol 4, she learns to live with her disability, she learns how to use her new arm, she learns how to fight better than she ever did before. It's about physical recovery. But is she okay? No. She hates being taken care of. She forced herself to be okay, or at least pretend she was, so Tai would let her go with Ruby. And in vol 5, she's anything but alright. She is pretending to be for Ruby's sake, because she is her mother figure and Ruby can't see her like that. She has to face her abandonment issues, she still has PTSD, and she is just not okay. Weiss notices right away, and tells her that it's okay if she is not okay. She noticed how hurt she was about Blake leaving. She just could see through the façade because if Weiss knows about anything, is about loneliness and pretending.

Her conversation with Raven at the end of the volume is just one of the best scenes, because you can just see how much Yang has grown. That scene deserves a post of its own because it's just amazing. But she finally faces one of her fears -her own abandonment issues, though they probably will always be there- and sees right through Raven. Because just like her, Raven just puts a façade to hide her own fears and insecurities, and the moment her own daughter isn't just taking any of that shit, she just starts crying. Because Yang is right. And deep down, she doesn't want to let Yang take the lamp, but she isn't just strong enough. Deep down, she wants to be in Yang's life, wants to protect her, and I think Yang knew that. But it was just too late.

More abandonment issues and relationship with Blake.

Now, to Yang, Blake coming back was huge. Not only in the terms of shipping, but as a whole. In her mind, Blake left her, just like Raven, just like Summer (though Summer didn't do it in purpose), and technically, just like Ruby, though she knew why Ruby did it and understood. But she's probably wondering “what is wrong with me that everyone always leaves me”. And she always has to be the one looking for the person who left her.

Not with Blake. After that talk with Weiss (bless the wingwoman), Yang was able to understand Blake's perspective better. But she didn't think Blake would actually ever come back, because no one ever does. But she did. Not only did she come back; literally, all Blake cared about once she entered the room and saw Yang was her (for once, someone is prioritizing her). And later, she was the one to walk and talk to the team, and tell them she didn't plan to leave again if they accepted her back. She didn't have to look for Blake because she was already looking for Yang. She was the one who made the effort, not the other way around. And to Yang, even though they still had issues to work through, even though she was still afraid at that moment that Blake would leave and break her heart again (All That Matters), that was enough to forgive her. Or at least give her another chance.

Now in volume 6 they clearly have issues. Like, Blake is very nurturing to the entire team because she feels like she has to make up. But mostly, she is trying to make up to Yang. She still feels guilty because of Adam, and she knew that Yang had already abandonment issues before she left and she probably made them worse. She was just trying so hard to be there for Yang so she could understand that she would never leave her again that she made things awkward. Yang is used to be the one who takes care of people, not the other way around. She thought that Blake “protecting her” was her seeing her a weak when actually, it was just Blake just genuinely caring about her but with the wrong words. Blake understood after that, and she changed the phrasing in the fight against Adam. Protecting each other. Equals. It really applies to the Bees relationship as a whole. “You're taking care of me, yeah, but I'm going to take care of you as well, no matter what”. For once, Yang is allowing someone to take care of her (well, except Tai, but again, she wasn't completely sincere with him, so technically she wasn't really allowing him to fully help her). And that's what I love the most about their dynamic, and why I ship it.

PTSD

Now (I'm sorry I'm taking so long), I've seen many, many people saying that Yang's PTSD is poorly written, or that the writers messed it up in the fight against Adam. Now, I have to ask those people: what the fuck do you think PTSD is?

If a Great WriterTM reads this and tries to tell me I'm wrong, or that I don't know what I'm talking about and I don't know anything about good writing and blah blah blah: I have PTSD myself. Diagnosed. So yes, I acknowledge there are many things I'm ignorant about, but I'm quite familiar about this topic. Yang's PTSD is, at least by my point of view, very well-written. It isn't perfect, but it's still far so much better than most PTSD portrayals I've seen in TV, along with Korra's. And I've seen people saying that Korra's portrayal was so much better. Well, let me tell you, it isn't, or at least I don't think it is. It's just different, because the worst thing about PTSD (and what makes it harder to treat) is that it's different for every person; sometimes it can be really severe and obvious, sometimes it seems “light”. Damn, sometimes it doesn't appear until years after the event; mine didn't trigger til I was like sixteen, and the event took place when I was around five or six. And yes, sometimes I have nightmares or flashbacks about it if something triggers me, but it isn't the whole time like some of you apparently think it is. I'm not scared 100% of the time, what the fuck.

When it comes to the fight with Adam, saying it didn't affect her: did you watch the fight? First of all, at that precise moment, Yang was so full of adredaline and too busy keeping Adam from killing Blake that I don't think her brain even realised he was the cause of her PTSD. Second of all, when he triggers it, it does affect her; she starts shaking, he's able to land hits on her that he couldn't before. But PTSD is different in every person, and is a defense mechanism, not a freezing mechanism as some people think. If I see the cause of my PTSD in front of me trying to hurt me again, I'm not gonna freeze; I'm gonna do whatever it takes so they don't ever hurt me again. Same goes with Yang: some people think she should have completely freezed during the fight, like “oh my god this guy fucked me up really bad and now he's gonna do it again and there's nothing I can do oh my god”. No. As I said, PTSD doesn't work like that, at least not always. She's not thinking that, she's thinking “alright this guy really fucked me up once but there's no way I'm letting him do that again”. Again, PTSD is a defense mechanism. A fucked up one, but it's what it is. And the writers handled very well.

Yang being suspicious and not completely trusting someone.

Now, I'm not lying when I tell you that I have no idea about what this could mean. Well, it could be her disagreeing with Ruby and having a bad argument, and that would really break my heart because I just love those two sisters so much. It could also be about Ozpin; she's teaming up with Oscar and hearing Ozpin is back could bring some problems. Or maybe Raven just appears there and she's like Hell Naw. I have no idea.

Conclussion.

I love Yang. She's not perfect at all. She's a bit of a hypocrite with the whole Ozpin thing because she's keeping Raven's identity as the Spring Maiden a secret as well (or maybe she did tell them off-screen? Honestly clear that up already). But she's over all a really good friend and person, an amazing older sister and just one of the most inspiring characters in the show. I see part of myself in her, and I don't see that often in a character. I just love her.

Damn, sorry I wrote the Bible but my girl deserved that.

[itsclydebitches]

What is with the FNDM and just rubbing it in whenever the critics are proven “wrong”. Like I’ve seen people be like, “See, Ruby isn’t the messiah her sister just criticized her”. Yeah, but she’s never actually presented as wrong again, and everyone just forgets about it. The villains winning this Vol will lose all meaning, because of how good things are going it would be a BS victory, and FNDM will be like “See, the villains are still threatening! They just won!”.

Pretty much every criticism on this blog can be boiled down to, “Why did the writers introduce this concept and then not give it the attention it needed?” with that covering everything from retconning, dropping ideas, not allowing multiple ideas to connect in obvious ways, or “solving” complex issues instantaneously. Whether we’re talking about Amity (retcon), Oscar’s refusal to accept Ozpin being back (dropped), the lack of conversation between disabled characters (ignored connection), Ren deciding off screen that the group is obviously correct and his list of valid worries was just him being a bad friend (”solved” instantaneously), or whatever else, it all comes back to this underlying problem of not allowing these ideas to continue, develop, and influence branching parts of the story. But, that criticism relies entirely on the belief that this should happen. That it’s a story’s job to grow the ideas it has introduced until the benefit they bring to the narrative has run its course, rather than continually introducing something new and finding a way to get rid of the previous idea as quickly as possible. Yet many viewers don’t agree and I think that’s where a good portion of the “RWBY is awful now” vs. “RWBY is the best it’s ever been” discourse stems. I know the ask from last night was just someone being combative, but it nevertheless stuck with me that their stance was, “it’s been almost three years.” There’s this idea that core parts of the story have a time limit for how long they’re meaningful to the narrative and as RWBY continually shortens that limit, many in the fandom are happy to accept that as the best way to tell a story. We used to have more long-form conflicts  — Ruby is struggling with her leadership, Weiss is working on her summoning, Yang has an arc about her arm  — and even then the fandom recognized that some things happened too fast (Yang is in perfect fighting shape with a new limb) and that other conflicts weren’t really solved at all (Weiss is no longer racist!), but there was enough balance for us to say that the show was flawed, yet still good. It had room to improve, so long as RWBY emphasized the parts that were already working, not the parts where they’d struggled. 

Instead, they doubled-down on the flawed parts and, because the animation got better, because people were still emotionally invested in the characters, because the plot got more mature  — whatever each fan’s individual reason is  — it looks like there was this wide-spread acceptance that retconning/dropping/ignoring/“solving” ideas super fast is fine, provided RWBY is still accomplishing those other things (including things like cute moments between the cast, or badass shots of Ruby with Crescent Rose). Who cares if these core issues aren’t developed when our faves get an adorable hug we can GIF? I exaggerate a bit, but there does seem to be a difference in priorities —  what we all want out of a story. Which may be why large swaths of the fandom legitimately get frustrated at us because we’re coming at these ideas from two different perspectives. If we have the idea “The group is criticized for their missteps,” we can technically achieve that in two different ways. Those currently happy with RWBY see that there was indeed a scene where a character, Ren, criticized the group. There! It’s what you wanted! Whereas the rest of us are going, “No. For us the statement ‘The group is criticized for their missteps’ carries with it a number of expectations that you don’t seem to share. That Ren wouldn’t be treated as the bad guy here. That such significant and complex complaints would take up more than one scene. That the solution wouldn’t happen off screen. That this solution wouldn’t be that the group is perfect and no one needs to change.” So many people in the fandom are happy with none of these ideas being developed past the point of being able to say, “This technically happened before everything returned to the status quo,” indeed making the critics seem like whiny hypocrites they’re eager to prove “wrong.” There’s this major divide between the fans who want Ruby to be criticized in the sense that she’s not really criticized: Yang’s comment is lukewarm criticism at best, everyone’s reaction informs the audience that Yang is out of line, Yang passionately defends Ruby soon after to Ren, with the two coming back together in sisterly bliss... and the fans who want Ruby to actually be criticized, with weight, support, meaning, and growth on her part. And that divide now extends to nearly all important parts of our story, including our assumed ending for Volume 8. I have no doubt that the villains will manage something over the next two episodes and those who only want surface level conflict will go, “There! The villains won. It’s what you asked for” ignoring the expectations the critics have always had about how the idea of “the villains won” should be developed. 

[bridgyrose]

I you are willing to inflict pain now, In the five minutes that Yang fell into the void, 50 years has passed. When RWB falls, they meet Yang's grandchild who takes them to their grandmother who is starting to go senile.

Ruby sighed as she started cutting away the brush on this island, already feeling exhausted. She had no clue how long it’d been since washing up on the beach, but she had to find her team. 

She stopped for a moment when she felt like she was being watched, looking around behind her. “Hello? Anyone there?” Her eyes darted to a moving patch of grass, making her grip her scythe. “If you’re a person, please come out. I wont hurt you.” She reached out with her scythe, moving a few blades of grass-

“Ruby!” 

Ruby practically jumped as she turned around, smiling a bit when she saw Weiss. “Weiss! You’re okay. But… if you’re here then…” 

Weiss hugged Ruby tightly. “I thought I lost you.” She pulled away, sighing. “But I’m… not sure. After Cinder cut Blake’s ribbon, Jaune, Penny and I fought her and then…” 

Ruby took a deep breath. “Let’s… let’s find the others. Blake and Yang shouldnt be too far.” 

Weiss sighed as she followed Ruby, sticking close to her. “Maybe we should consider-” 

“I need to find Yang. I cant… I cant lose anyone else…” 

Weiss hesitated as she heard Ruby’s voice start to break, holding back tears. “Right… I understand…” 

Ruby kept moving forward, using her scythe to cut through the thicker of the brush to make the trek as easy as possible. If she and Weiss made it to this strange land alive, then Blake and Yang had to be alive too. They both had to be somewhere- 

A kid with blonde hair and lilac eyes smiled and threw some fruit at Ruby, giggling as she did. Once she watched Ruby look up at her, the child started swinging through the trees, scampering about. 

Weiss watched as Ruby took off after the kid, chasing after her. She quickly used her semblance to keep up, a little confused. “Ruby! Dont rush so far ahead! We dont know who that is yet!” 

“It has to be Yang! I know it!” Ruby smiled a bit as she ran, using her semblance to maneuver around the trees and bushes as she went. After hours of traversing this godforsaken island she finally found- 

Blake quickly grabbed Ruby by the back of the cloak, stopping her mid run and jerking her back. “Dont move.” 

Ruby looked up at the sky in a daze, processing the voice that just spoke to her. “Blake? Is that you?” 

“Yes, but dont move any more. You nearly set off a trap.” 

Ruby blinked a few times before her eyes began to focus a bit, a few strings clearly laid out between a few of the trees. She slowly sat up, avoiding the strings and gently tugging on one, hearing one of the trees start to groan a bit. “That couldve been bad.” 

Blake nodded and started making her way to the trees, untying the strings to disable the traps. “There’s a village just a bit farther. Whoever they are, they’re a bit paranoid about something out here.” 

Weiss finally caught up, stopping just behind Ruby. “We were following a child through the trees. Ruby thinks it’s Yang.” 

“If not, then they might be able to take us to her.” Blake finished taking care of the trap, smiling at Ruby. “Alright, you can stand up now.” 

Ruby stood up and brushed off a bit of the mud and dirt from her skirt. “Thanks.” 

Blake nodded and started walking towards the village, hoping they could find someone that would be able to help them. The village was fairly small, no larger than a small fishing village off the Island of Patch. There were huts made of various materials, mostly from the trees that surrounded it, some of them even made with stone or grass. 

Ruby hesitated for a moment as she walked around, noticing how quiet it was. “Do… you think they’re just hunting?” 

Weiss pulled out her rapier, keeping close to Blake and Ruby. “I’m not sure, but we should keep our guard up. Just in case its a trap.” 

Ruby and Blake nodded, continuing to walk forward. Ruby started checking a few of the huts of anyone that was around, while Blake checked for any tracks that might help see where anyone may have gone. The sound of a fruit flying through the air caught Blake’s attention as she turned to see the kid Ruby and Weiss had been chasing. She watched as it turned a corner, disappearing from sight. “Found your kid.” 

Ruby nodded and started rushing in that direction, stopping as she rounded the corner and saw an elderly woman with two, small children with her. Ruby put her scythe away and sighed. “I… was hoping you could help me find someone.” 

The woman smiled warmly at Ruby, walking a bit closer. “Ruby. You made it.” 

Ruby hesitated for a moment as it dawned to her who it was standing in front of her. “Yang?” 

Blake and Weiss rounded the corner, stopping behind Ruby as they looked at their other teammate. Yang was hardly recognizable anymore to them, sporting long silver hair, a dress made from wool and grass. 

Yang pulled Ruby into a hug, rubbing her back. “It’s been so, so long since I last saw you all. I’m glad you’re all okay.” 

Ruby hugged back, starting to tear up. “I thought I lost you. But we need to find a way to Remnant-” 

“We cant leave this place,” said Yang, pulling away from Ruby and looking at her teammates sadly. “There isnt a way out.” 

“But we can find one.” Weiss stepped closer to Yang. “We have more of us now and we can start looking around-” 

Yang’s eyes nearly glazed over for a moment, looking at her team and no longer recognizing them. She smiled at them and started heading to her own hut. “You three girls must be tired from your journey. I’m afraid this village has little to offer as I’m the last one here, but I have a little food I can spare.” 

Ruby froze as she listened to her sister, no longer sure what was going on. “Yang, you can come with us.” 

Yang stopped for a moment. “Yang… I havent heard that name in years…” 

Blake started to feel her heart break as she listened to the woman she loved. “You… you dont remember us, do you?” 

“Memories come and go. Some are more clear than others and some are just… fuzzy.” Yang looked back behind her, smiling at the three girls. “But you all look like skin and bone. Come with me and get something to eat. And then you can continue your journey.” 

The three girls sighed and followed their former teammate, unsure of what to think about the situation. They were glad to have found their friend, their sister and teammate, but knew they couldnt take her with them. Ruby sighed and slowed her steps to almost a complete stop. “She’s… she’s gone, isnt she?” 

Blake slowly nodded, putting a hand on Ruby’s shoulder. “I’m sorry Ruby, I really am.” 

“Then we give her a bit of company for a little bit and then… then we head off.” 

Blake and Weiss nodded in agreement, following their leader. 

[hellchilde]

The Thing With Feathers

wow it feels like ten million years since i posted a real fic

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Sòng Lán | Sòng Zǐchēn/Xiǎo Xīngchén, Song Lan | Song Zichen & Xiao Xingchen, Xiao Xingchen & Xue Yang | Xue Chengmei

Characters: Xiao Xingchen, Song Lan | Song Zichen, Xue Yang | Xue Chengmei, Wen Qing

Additional Tags: Disabled Character, Blindness, Blind Xiǎo Xīngchén, Lack of Communication, Established Relationship, brief scene with blood, Recreational Drug Use, (but it's just weed), Alcohol, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Cock Warming, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Reincarnation Vibes

Words: 8970

Summary: Sometimes, all you need to throw your life into sharp focus it to stumble over a dying criminal in the street and let it consume your life.

Or: Xiao Xingchen finds Xue Yang injured alongside the road and the rhythm of the carefully constructed life he has with Song Lan no longer seems entirely stable.

It happens when he's walking home from class.

This time, the reason for Xiao Xingchen's loss of vision is not so noble or meaningful. Sometimes things happen for a reason, but sometimes things just happen and it's shit luck and you have to make due with the cards you're dealt. Sometimes you're too young when your vision deteriorates to nothing, but at least that means you don't have to see their pitying looks in the encroaching darkness. But sometimes, there is a good man who is there for you and can help you pick up the pieces when your life changes too quickly for you to deal with. That is a spot of good luck, because this man is someone you love and could picture a life with, even if it's not the life your parents had intended, or the life you set out to start back when the possibilities were endless. This time, Xiao Xingchen learns the lines of Song Lan's face with his fingertips before his sight is completely gone, and lets him reshape their lives to accommodate this unforeseen obstacle to what could have been a story of happily ever after.

With a white cane in hand and a determined set to his face, Xiao Xingchen walks the increasingly familiar path between home, subway, school, subway, home. Never did he plan on learning a new language in his late twenties, but that language is braille, and he refuses to be totally helpless in a world designed against him. Audiobooks help, but he can't listen to them while he walks, has to stay vigilant with his remaining senses or let himself be pummeled by people who won't see him. Shame the onus has to be on him. So it might be dark, but maybe it's not, when he trips over something and sprawls inelegantly, embarrassingly to the ground. His cheeks and ears are burning, he dropped his cane but finds it quickly. Stupid, stupid, he should have felt it.

He reaches back to feel what he tripped over, and feels fabric, flesh. He gropes his way up, increasingly concerned when the person doesn't move or make a sound, and he smells blood. Then finally he feels the blood, sticky and warm but cooling, and is worried he is feeling a corpse until he feels the chest rise and fall and hears the wheeze of breath. He snatches his hands away, worried, and scrambles for the phone in his pocket. It has a voice-to-text option, and that makes up for the lack of buttons. He's never had to dial 9-1-1, and he thinks his voice on the line to the operator is nervous and panicked. He can't even tell her for certain which street he's on, except that it's five blocks from the campus where he had class.

That must be enough. The EMT's arrive and take stock of the situation, and they reassure him, and when he asks them if he can ride in the ambulance, they agree without too much argument. The ride to the hospital is horrible, though, because he has no idea where he's going or how far away and every turn makes him motion sick. He still doesn't consider leaving behind the man he found. The emergency room is chaotic, but one of the EMT's spares the time to lead him out to the waiting room, and someone eventually gets him some water.

“He's in surgery, and then they'll be admitting him for observation,” one of the staff says to him. He's already given his report to the police, explained his innocent side. He's not a suspect for what appears to be a violent crime, but they took his contact information. Otherwise, Xiao Xingchen doesn't know much. “You don't know him, so … you can go home if you want. I'm sure he would appreciate the kindness of a stranger.”

“Were you able to find an emergency contact?” he asks. So far, he has been the only visitor present.

“No,” the staff says. “Don't worry, the police are looking into it.”

“I would prefer to stay with him,” Xiao Xingchen says, because he does always try to be noble, even without a sword in his hands.

The staff member, maybe a nurse or a receptionist but probably not a doctor, reaches out to touch his hands where they're clasped protectively around his cane. He makes a face because he wouldn't have accepted the touch if asked permission, but at least it's kind. “You're a good man,” the staff member says. “We'll help you to the waiting room near where he'll be resting.”

At some point, someone gives him a sandwich wrapped in plastic and a cup of coffee. The sandwich is ham and soggy, but he eats a little of it, and the coffee tastes old and watery. At some point, Xiao Xingchen sleeps in his chair. At some point, someone informs him that the man made it through surgery and is sleeping. At some point, Xiao Xingchen awakens to the feeling of his phone buzzing in his pocket.

“You didn't come home,” Song Lan's voice says, strained. “I was worried.”

“I'll be home soon,” Xiao Xingchen replies. “I have to make sure he made it through. I'm the one who found him, it's my responsibility.” He doesn't like the hospital, which is cold and antiseptic, and his chair isn't comfortable. He's still going to stay. He has to, even if he has to rely on the kindness of strangers to find the bathroom.

Song Lan sighs, too familiar with this side of him. “Call me to come pick you up,” he says quietly. “The hospital isn't far.”

Xiao Xingchen says goodbye and hangs up and only resents a little that the offer makes him feel helpless. He rubs at his eyes, which feel gritty and sore, and locates the remains of his soggy sandwich to at least get something in his stomach. He listens to the sounds of the hospital around him, beeping machines and ringing phones and quiet voices and people rushing by in non-skid shoes. He seems to be politely ignored, or perhaps forgotten, but he doesn't know how long it's supposed to take until he learns what happened.

At some point, another member of staff approaches him and sits beside him, clearing her throat softly. “I have some news, Mr. Xiao,” she says, accented Mandarin. He tries not to be insulted that they think his English isn't good. “The police have found out the identity of the man you found. Apparently … he's wanted for murder, and some other crimes. He works for some very bad men.”

Xiao Xingchen frowns, the information hard to take in. A criminal? He saved a criminal?

“You did a good thing,” she continues. “They'll bring him in to face justice. They wanted me to thank you.”

He manages to nod, trying not to reveal how shaken he is by the news. Why should it bother him so much? He doesn't know this man and has no connection to him other than finding him mostly dead on his walk to the subway. And yet he still feels betrayed. He did something good, he saved a man, and he turns out to be a criminal. It doesn't feel fair, but so little in his life feels fair.

His intentions have been to stay until the man wakes up and introduce himself, get to know him, but he no longer wants that. Instead he digs out his phone as soon as the nurse leaves and dials Song Lan's number to request a ride and pulls himself to his feet, legs feeling stiff from a long night spent in an uncomfortable chair. He still has that feeling that he should at least peek in on the man that he saved, but then, what's the use in that when he hasn't peeked at anything since his vision gave up on him?

It doesn't take very much help from others to make it down to the front of the building and out the doors – the elevator had braille, and the flow of traffic was relatively logical. He takes a breath of fresh air and stands by the curb to wait for Song Lan, his cane clasped in his hands. He hasn't bothered to ask the time, but by the temperature outside and the birds and the angle of the sun he can feel on his skin, he guesses it's midmorning. He's been out all night. No wonder Song Lan was worried.

He hears the car, and the door opens, and there's Song Lan's voice instructing him to get in. He reaches out to feel the edge of the car door and then climbs inside, settling gratefully into the familiar passenger seat to let Song Lan pull away from the hospital.

“Did he wake up?” Song Lan asks after a few moments of silence.

“I don't know,” Xiao Xingchen replies, collapsing his cane back down to make more room in the footwell for his legs. “They told me they found out who he was. A criminal wanted for murder, with mob connections. I didn't want to stay after that. I'm sure they'll arrest him.” He's still not sure how he feels about that. Bad, bad, like there's rocks in his stomach.

Song Lan thinks about that, his driving much smoother than that of the ambulance, mindful of not taking the turns too quickly. “Well, it's a good thing he's off the streets,” he says at last. “And good that you didn't let him die. It's best that he faces the consequences of what he's done.”

Xiao Xingchen nods and chews on his bottom lip, turning towards the window to feel the sun on his face. He's tired, more tired than before, and he thinks he'll sleep all day even if it'll totally throw off his sleep schedule. He feels depressed, for no reason he can put a finger on. How had he been the one to stumble on that man?

He takes Song Lan's help here and there to get inside, finding it reassuring to always reach out and find him there, and then they are safely behind a door and he finds the bed and collapses into it. When he wakes up again, Song Lan is stretched out beside him, breathing deep and even in sleep. Xiao Xingchen sighs, rolls over, and scoots unobtrusively out of bed to find the cigarettes he has hidden in a corner of the closet in case of emergency. He secludes himself on the fire escape to smoke in peace and rub his temple while he attempts to figure out what he's feeling.

He hasn't figured it out by the time he's finished one cigarette, and he has just enough self control to cut himself off after one, then retreats back inside to at least pretend to do some work.

~

The next time Xiao Xingchen hears about Xue Yang (which is the name of the man he saved, that murderer and mobster and … rapist, for all he knew) he is on the news. He emerges from their bedroom one morning in search of the coffee pot and some breakfast, and Song Lan actually has the TV on, a rare occurrence this early in the morning.

“... released from City Hospital this morning, in custody of the police,” the reporter says. “Xue Yang has known connections with alleged crime lord Wen Ruohan, and charges against him include murder, arson, assault, armed robbery, and fraud. Yang will be facing these charges in a court of law, following investigation into the listed charges, and is currently being kept in custody at an undisclosed location. Yang was found two weeks ago by a civilian on the street following a vicious stabbing, supposedly an attempt on his life carried out by a rival gang. The investigation into Yang's attack is still ongoing with no suspects.”

Xiao Xingchen feels his face fold into a frown, and he steps forward until he finds Song Lan, letting him press a bowl into his hands and starting to eat without really tasting.

“I guess he can walk now,” Song Lan comments with a dry voice.

“What does he look like?” It doesn't matter. Xiao Xingchen still wants to know, to satisfy some perverse curiosity about that evil man he happened to save from bleeding out on the street.

“Like a punk,” Song Lan says. “Like a smug little punk. Like he's going to get away with all of it.” He sets his bowl down and leans in to kiss Xingchen's cheek, running his hand over the other as if he can smooth out the frustration there. “Don't listen to too much of this. I'll be back tonight.” And then he leaves, the sound of his footsteps circling the kitchen island, pausing to pick up his coat and bag, pausing to slip on his shoes, and then the sound of the front door.

Xiao Xingchen takes a few more bites of the food – it's oatmeal, and it's alright, but it's not the way he would have prepared it – and the news is still on in the background, now on to some other story that he cares less about. He puts the bowl down and goes for coffee next, still half the pot left and soy creamer set out nearby. Thoughtful. Song Lan takes care of him.

He doesn't follow the direction. He gets his tablet and sets it up to search for this Wen Ruohan guy. He doesn't keep enough track of the news to have any idea about organized crime, but once his tablet understands what he's asking of it, it pulls up some articles. The text reader's voice renders the shocking events dry and bland, but at least it's something. It makes it sound like Wen Ruohan has fingers in pretty much every bit of crime in the city, maybe further out too. Not surprising that a criminal like Xue Yang would take up with him, do some of his dirty work. The top of the pack never lets that kind of thing touch him. That's why they can't make anything stick when it comes to bringing charges against him. The movies get that much right.

His next search is for Xue Yang himself. Most of what pulls up is the recent stuff about him being in the hospital, the stabbing, the murder charge they want him for this time. Few of the articles he finds come with image descriptions, so if there are pictures, he doesn't know what they are. He can access the public parts of Xue Yang's criminal record. People keep getting his name wrong, calling him “Mr. Yang.” He listens to the text reader list the dates and bare-bones facts of the previous charges. Some of them he had been arrested for, served time. Others seemed to disappear too quickly.

When Song Lan comes home, he is still on the couch, bent over his tablet, hair uncombed and falling over his shoulders and still wearing the loungewear he had put on that morning, which doesn't really count as clothes. He startles when he suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder, too wrapped up in what he had been listening to and thinking about to pay attention to the sound of the door opening or Song Lan saying his name.

“What are you … oh,” Song Lan says, and Xiao Xingchen feels the presence of him reading over his shoulder. “I see you didn't follow my advice.”

“I wanted to know more,” Xiao Xingchen says, feeling oddly defensive. He switches the tablet dark so Song Lan can't read over his shoulder. “Maybe he's a smug punk, but I saved him. I want to know what kind of man I saved.” Why he's weirdly obsessive about this, he still doesn't understand. Why he wants to know more of these dark details. It isn't like it gives him a thrill – well, not a good thrill, that would be kind of sick. It isn't like he's ever even interacted with Xue Yang. Except that he spent a good portion of one day covered in his blood and waiting for him to wake up at the hospital, and for some reason that made it feel like Xue Yang owed him something.

Song Lan sighs so it stirs the hairs on the top of his head, then pets them down again. Not the first time Xiao Xingchen has forgotten to comb his hair, especially on days he stays in. It's a worried kind of touch. “Will you please turn it off for a little while for dinner?”

Xiao Xingchen considers being contrary and refusing, but his stomach rumbles as a reminder that he only broke away long enough to eat some pickles and crackers in a lunch that required minimal effort but could hardly be counted as real food. He submits, then, pulling Song Lan's hand down from his head to kiss his inner wrist. He rises to his feet to follow Song Lan to the table, sits beside him and takes the prepared plate. Song Lan must have guessed some of his mood that morning, because a couple of the dishes are among his favorites from this particular restaurant.

That softens him, and he feels a little bad for considering being contrary or brushing off Song Lan's worry as being patronizing. Guilty, even. Doesn't Song Lan have enough to deal with without his boyfriend being bratty? It's the unfortunate truth of their circumstances that Song Lan shoulders more of the financial responsibilities, more of the housekeeping, more of the cooking. Xiao Xingchen does what he can, and he's gotten to be a pretty fair hand at cooking even without being able to read labels. It's still more for Song Lan.

Xiao Xingchen finishes up his pad see ew, wipes his mouth clean, and gets up to drape himself over Song Lan's lap. His chopsticks clatter lightly on the edge of the plate, and then his hands settle on Xiao Xingchen's waist. Xingchen feels a smile spread over his face, and his hands slide into Song Lan's hair, and he leans in for a kiss.

Being intimate like this has changed. As his sight faded, his other senses sharpened. In some ways it's useful, like being able to so distinctly smell the differences between spices, but his skin is now also more sensitive. Every touch, every brush of lips or teeth, has the potential to be overwhelming. It had caught him off-guard at first, the sheer electricity of it lighting him up more vividly than any lit room. It had been intense enough to scare him, and hence to scare Song Lan, and since then his touches had grown increasingly light and gentle, wary of startling him again. Or perhaps it is that Song Lan is no longer so certain of sharing himself with someone who can no longer see him. He has never been the most touchy-feely person, and Xiao Xingchen wouldn't blame him if the shine of their relationship had faded by now. Occupying that strange liminal space where he was part caretaker, part boyfriend – that can't be easy.

So how can Xiao Xingchen ask for that firmer touch, the way they could get so carried away with each other the way they used to when they were younger and more carefree? What right does he have to demand even more?

He still kisses Song Lan wild and reckless, soft lips and sharp teeth catching at Song Lan's mouth, kissing the flavor of Thai food off his lips. Song Lan sighs against him, hands slipping up under Xiao Xingchen's oversized cardigan and the t-shirt underneath, circling against his waist. There are calluses on his fingers, just rough enough to feel, and at least while they're kissing Song Lan isn't protesting. Xingchen squirms slightly, trying to get his hands to slide down, as if he could wiggle them down. They stay where they are, though Song Lan's grip tightens, starting to dig into his skin.

Xiao Xingchen breaks the kiss to pant softly against Song Lan's lips, only now realizing that he has one hand tangled up in his hair, the other pressed flat against his chest, feeling the steady thud of Song Lan's heart beneath his skin. His own heartbeat feels like it's echoing that beat, knocking up hopefully against his ribs. Maybe this time … maybe this time it would work out. Maybe this time he could somehow convey the kind of attention he was craving, and maybe Song Lan would be amenable to fucking his brains out.

Sure enough, Song Lan shifts his grip, finally down even if it is over his yoga pants, cups his ass and stands up with him clinging koala-style. Xiao Xingchen has no intention of letting go, pressing kisses into Song Lan's jaw, his throat, over his lips, wherever he can reach, his arms settling around Song Lan's strong shoulders and his back arching to press closer against him. This is better, this is closer to what he wants.

Song Lan deposits him on the bed, doesn't drop him, just setting him carefully on the mattress like fine china. But still he crawls over him, whispers kisses into his skin, teeth scraping lightly down his throat. The light touches make Xiao Xingchen gasp and writhe, his skin feeling so oversensitive that he can't even stand still wearing his clothes. Song Lan hovers over him, on his hands and knees, still barely touching him except for the brush of his lips.

“Zichen,” he breathes, needy, eager.

Song Lan pulls back, and Xingchen can just weather the feeling of being watched, breathing and trying not to feel self-conscious beneath the weight of Song Lan's gaze. His fingers are still in Song Lan's hair, twisting and trying to pull him back down. He bears it for a few moments, then stretches up to try and find his lips.

But before he can make it, Song Lan's hand takes his own, unpeeling his fingers from his hair and kissing his palm before pressing his hand to Xingchen's chest and sitting up. The gesture has an air of finality to it, and Xiao Xingchen can't help it, he covers his face with his hands. It's like being blind has erased any ability he had to control his expression, and he can only imagine what his face is doing right now, because it certainly feels all twisted up and hurt and mad and frustrated.

“I'm sorry,” Song Lan says, because he isn't good at reading people but he isn't blind, and he sounds regretful. “I'm sorry, it just wasn't...”

Xiao Xingchen rolls away, taking a moment, then sits up, his back facing Song Lan. “It's fine,” he says, as though merely saying the words will make it so, and he knows his voice sounds too tight. “It's fine,” he repeats. He wishes there was a switch in his body that he could just turn off, rather than having to sit with the coiling warmth still lingering in his stomach, refusing to dissipate just because Song Lan is no longer touching him.

He feels Song Lan touch his hair lightly, then the shift of the mattress as he stands up. The ensuite shower turns on shortly after, and entertains the vindictive thought of forcing his way in and pushing Song Lan up on the shower wall and just...

He doesn't know what. Song Lan had already made his “no” very clear, and Xiao Xingchen has no intention of crossing that particular boundary. He knows there wouldn't be any coming back from that. Taking care of himself feels equally out of the question. It's not what he craves, and doing it alone feels empty.

He goes to clean up after their dinner, finding some comfort in scrubbing off the plates and plunging his hands in the soapy water. It doesn't perfectly redirect his energy, but it takes the edge off. Then he steps out to the fire escape again, retreats, cowardice. The cold, damp wind slaps him in the face, and he takes a lungful of the foggy air, pressing his back into the wrought iron to feel it dig in.

He should tell Song Lan. There are things he should say, explanations, verbalizing his desire and upset and love and frustration. How it feels to be treated as an invalid, even when Song Lan does it so soft and gentle. Song Lan will tell his part too, the part where his desire can't always keep up with Xingchen's and that particular quirk where touching makes his skin crawl, where he treasures Xingchen and wants to protect him by wrapping him up tight in bubble wrap, kept and sweet and placed high on a shelf never to be touched.

He kicks the fire escape, just to make himself feel a little better, and wedges himself in. He should have brought his tablet. He could have done more research. Without it, he just listens to the sounds of the city at night, traffic and ambulances, someone singing, a baby crying in the distance. He lets it all flow and melt around him, lets his body relax into becoming the ambient temperature of the fog, cold and misty and amorphous.

By the time Xiao Xingchen retreats back inside, his thoughts are as cool and calm as the air outside. He slips into bed, fitting into the space behind Song Lan, slotting in, his knees in the crook behind Song Lan's knees, his cold nose tucked against the back of his neck. Song Lan smells clean, and Xingchen feels sorry for earlier, silly for letting himself get carried away. He's happy here. He is happy.

That thought circles his brain as he drifts off to sleep.

~

Time passes. Xiao Xingchen dials back his research to what he thinks is a normal amount of interest. There is always news to follow – Xue Yang seems to be at the same time the media's darling and their favorite villain. The tabloids keep commenting on how he looks, calling him angelic and sweet-faced while at the same time condemning him for what seemed like an ever-increasing number of crimes. Song Lan quickly learns to simply leave him to it, and in return Xingchen can moderate himself so he doesn't lose entire days to sitting on the couch and burying himself in news and police reports.

Life is pretty much normal. There's a routine, a rhythm, comfortable and familiar. Xiao Xingchen further adjusts to life in a world that isn't built to accommodate him, his steps ever more certain on his path. He can visualize his future stretching before him, and none of it looks bad. No surprises, no tragedy. He figures losing his sight is bad enough to fulfill the quota for drama for this lifetime.

Xiao Xingchen listens to the trial when it starts. From what he can tell, this is apparently very fast, but he doesn't know enough about the American justice system to confirm that. There's plenty of media coverage on it, but despite their efforts to highlight the most exciting parts, the trial itself seems to be fairly dull, nothing like the TV shows. That doesn't decrease Xiao Xingchen's interest, but it does help to prevent him from focusing too much on it.

Song Lan has a launch party for work. Xiao Xingchen doesn't know enough about computers to know what it's really for, some piece of software or another, something Song Lan has been working on for months. It's a cause for celebration, and while Xingchen doesn't relish the need to dress up, he lets Song Lan help him with it. Most of his wardrobe is in interchangeable shades of neutral, white and black and gray – he made sure of that before his sight was gone. But it's better to be safe than sorry and accidentally choose something inappropriate or clashing. Anyway, he knows Song Lan quietly enjoys dressing him, making sure he looks nice. It suits the same part of his personality that's so good at the nitty-gritty details of code, a fierce, strict streak of perfectionism.

Xiao Xingchen has no doubt that they make a sharp picture when they arrive. He left his cane at home, since it would be too cumbersome in a party setting, and thus holds Song Lan's arm to navigate their way inside. It's a club, it smells like a club, alcohol and bodies and several layers of perfume and cologne, and there's music playing with a low bassline that reverberates in his ribcage. It's probably dark, which means that people will be asking all night long why he's wearing his dark tinted glasses. Hopefully sticking close against Song Lan's side will decrease the need to explain.

Parties like this are always a little awkward. Xingchen is friendly and willing, but he doesn't speak the same language as these technology prodigies. Maybe he could have wandered and found other partners of Song Lan's coworkers, but he was always wary of losing track of Song Lan in an unfamiliar place. And Song Lan is good, he's considerate, but sometimes he gets so wrapped up in whatever conversation he gets involved in that Xingchen falls by the wayside despite being attached to his arm.

It's still fun and interesting to be out of the apartment, chatting with people, picking canapes off the trays, accepting the drink that Song Lan passes to him. It's one of the fruity ones that he likes, but strong enough that he can taste the alcohol under the juice. He's playing the role of arm candy tonight, but he lets it be fun, lets himself be the sweet and sparkly juxtaposition to Song Lan's dry, serious demeanor. Song Lan's coworkers forgive him easily when he doesn't know the more technical details and humor him by talking about other, more accessible topics.

Inevitably, though, they turn back to talking shop, and Xingchen tries to follow but it all starts to sound like gibberish. He sighs and ceases to pay much attention to the conversation since they're not really paying attention to him, and he sips his drink, wishing the music were better. Though, of course, the inevitable result of sipping a drink all evening is that he has to use the bathroom. Xingchen realizes it with some dismay. There's no good way to bring it up without sounding like a complaining toddler, but he doesn't even know which way to point himself to find it if he were to just wander off. So he just … waits. Song Lan will have to go eventually as well.

Except the situation is steadily growing towards urgent, and Song Lan shows no indication of breaking away from his conversation, focused the way he can get sometime. Xiao Xingchen starts to fidget anxiously, hoping to somehow telepathically convey what he needs. Unfortunately, he doesn't magically develop psychic powers. He's inches from giving in to the embarrassment of asking to be escorted to the bathroom when he feels another hand on his free arm.

“Hi,” a female voice says, one that he doesn't recognize. “Song Lan, do you mind if I borrow him for a minute?”

Xiao Xingchen could curse, and desperately hopes that Song Lan makes up an excuse to keep him from being pulled to another conversation with strangers. He can't focus on being friendly when his body is screaming at him. He feels Song Lan look up in surprise, finally breaking from his own conversation.

“Oh, right, of course,” he says, gently taking Xingchen's hand from his arm to pass him over to the woman. “Xingchen, this is Wen Qing. She's a doctor and a friend.”

“Alright,” Xingchen says, voice cracking, shooting Song Lan what he hopes is a desperate look before Wen Qing tugs him away. He's panicking, he thinks he might die, he wants the earth to swallow him up. He clears his throat and touches Wen Qing's hand, her pace never slowing. “I'm sorry, I'm terribly sorry, but...”

Before he can finish, she pulls him through a doorway. Their footsteps turn echo-y, and he feels a glimmer of hope. She continues pulling, then places his hand on what feels like the handle of a urinal. He makes a sound, desperate still, and feels for the edges of the porcelain before letting go of her entirely so he can relieve himself.

“You looked like you were suffering over there,” she says, only far enough away to give him the space he needs to get the job done. “I know how Song Lan can get too intense in his conversations and forget the world around him.”

“Thank you,” he breathes, shooting a small smile in the direction of her voice. “Unfamiliar places are always a little difficult, especially without my cane. I hope it wasn't too obvious.”

“Not to the tech nerds,” she says, putting her hand on his shoulder to help lead him over to the sinks after he gets his slacks fastened up. “They might be geniuses, but they're oblivious to any kind of subtlety. Feeling better?”

“Yes, thank you,” Xiao Xingchen says again, washing his hands and then relaxing a hip against the sink. He isn't in a rush to go back out to the music he doesn't like. “So you're a doctor?”

“Cardiac surgeon,” Wen Qing clarifies. “I normally don't get to see below the belt. But don't worry, I'll remain professional.” It sounds like she's smiling too. Xingchen isn't surprised to find that she's friends with Song Lan, with that dry kind of humor.

“I wasn't too worried about it,” Xingchen says. “Do you come to a lot of these things?”

“A few. I was dating one of them for a while, made some friends. They keep inviting me, and the appetizers are good, and every once in a while I get to help somebody's poor boyfriend find the bathroom.” He feels her pull his jacket straight, adjusting his collar slightly. “So. Been together long?”

“Since college,” Xingchen tells her. Maybe she isn't very close with Song Lan, to have not heard the story before. “Actually, we met in the airport when I arrived in America. I was so lost and overwhelmed, and he stepped in to help me find my way in a new country and a big city. It was just a happy coincidence that we ended up going to the same school while he was getting his graduate degree. And then from there, it's basically just history.”

Wen Qing laughs and touches his shoulder again. “Somehow, I doubt it's 'just history,' but we can leave it at that, if you want,” she says. “That's very sweet. I'm just glad you look as lost by all their talk as I am. Do you smoke?”

“Ah...” He doesn't want to lie, but also isn't sure about how likely it is his answer would get back around to Song Lan.

“Doesn't matter,” she says quickly, taking his arm again to lead him out. “Come hang out with the wives. We're all the wives, regardless of gender.”

Together, they wind through the party, past snippets of conversation and a speaker rolling out bassline in waves. Wen Qing pulls him out of a door, and the sound of music is dampened. A comforting cloud of cigarette smoke wafts around them, and there's a soft hum of conversation.

“Hey, wives,” Wen Qing crows. “I bring fresh blood.”

“One of us,” someone chants, and Xiao Xingchen grins and gives an irreverent salute.

The wives are apparently the company he was craving. He no longer has to pretend to understand or be interested in the technobabble, and instead he can pluck crackers smothered in cream cheese and prosciutto off of the platter that they stole from the catering staff and sip from the bottle of wine that they had also stolen. He can listen to one of them chatter about a thesis project on Emily Dickinson and steal drags from cigarettes and blunts passed to him. It's closer to the way he and Song Lan operated in college, parting for their own friend groups before drifting back together, and the wives are closer to the kind of people he would choose for friends, free to be bohemian while their significant others take advantage of the tech boom and bring home the bacon.

Xiao Xingchen hasn't bothered to check the time on his phone, but it feels late by the quality of the air and the conversation. They've stopped talking about anything of substance, and he's leaning on Wen Qing's shoulder. He's a little drunk and a little high and feeling soft and easy. Song Lan's touch doesn't even startle him when it comes to rest on his shoulder.

“Let's go home,” he suggests in a low murmur, and Xingchen peels himself up. The wives moan and complain, and someone reaches for him, fingers catching on the edge of his jacket with a soft cry of, “Chen-chen, don't leave us!”

Xiao Xingchen gives his goodbyes and makes his promises to stay in touch – his phone is full of their phone numbers. He leans on Song Lan to make their way out and down to meet their car. They slide into the back seat, and their hands find each other on the seat, fingers folding together in the most intimate touch Song Lan would allow in public.

“Time's it?” Xiao Xingchen asks, sleepy and smiley and soft.

“Close to one,” Song Lan replies. He sounds a little drunk too, and his thumb runs over the space between Xingchen's thumb and index finger, fitting into the hollow. “Did you have fun?”

“Mmm,” he hums and smiles more. “They were nice. Wen Qing was helpful, and you know how useless I am when you talk shop.”

“I should have known you'd get along with them. I should have introduced you earlier. I'm sorry you were bored with me.” He snorts softly. “Chen-chen.”

Xiao Xingchen's giggle is significantly less dignified, but at least it's not too loud out of consideration for their poor driver. “You know I can't help if they think I'm cute!”

Song Lan doesn't protest, but he doesn't have to. They're back home, and he thanks the driver, and comes around to help Xingchen out of the car and back into their building. They're quiet due to the late hour, so the sound of the keys feels like it echoes in the still night air. Xiao Xingchen lets himself inside with a sigh of relief and kicks his shoes off, and opens his mouth to suggest they go to bed only to have Song Lan's lips and teeth and tongue providing an effective gag.

Song Lan backs him against the wall in the entryway, and his hands span Xingchen's waist, broad and solid. Xingchen can taste the alcohol in his breath, but he probably tastes the same. His head spins, his stomach flips, feeling simultaneously over- and under-fed on those canapes, but thrilled with possibility. The kiss is rough, with teeth, not like delicate good morning kisses or gentle good night ones that he's gotten used to. This kiss demands, and expects him to answer – and so he does.

Xiao Xingchen moans into it and grips back at Song Lan's shirt, returning the kiss with equal fervor. Sleep is no longer on his mind. Instead, he has to get his hands on Song Lan's skin or he might just evaporate. He tugs until he can get Song Lan's shirt out of his slacks and he can slide his hands underneath, flat against the skin of his stomach. His skin is warm, solid, and he can feel the frantic rate of his breathing beneath his touch. It feels like a dream, like it's so much that it can't be real, and at the same time it's so real, so perfect, everything he wants.

It feels like Song Lan needs this as badly as he does. With hands tight around Xingchen's arms he pulls him away from the wall, further into the apartment. Xiao Xingchen assumes they'll go to the bedroom, to the bed as usual, but he finds himself bent forward over the couch instead, the familiar fabric under his fingers and the back digging into his stomach. Song Lan presses against him, rubs against his ass, pushes his shirt up and runs his hands over his back. Xiao Xingchen lets out a shaky breath and pushes back against him, just as demanding and desperate.

Finally, finally Song Lan reaches around to get his slacks unfastened, pushes at them impatiently, and locates the zipper to shove it down. Xiao Xingchen squirms to help get them down his legs and winds up with them stuck around his knees, but at least it's some relief. Song Lan seems to think that's enough; his fingers grip into the flesh of Xingchen's ass, squeezing and massaging and spreading. He pants into the couch cushions, his breath coming back hot and wet against his cheeks and the sensitive tip of his cock bumping up against the back of the couch in a way that isn't altogether pleasant but at least it is some sensation. He's hard, he needs it, his skin feels like it's sparking with heat at every brush of Song Lan's fingers.

He remembers with some despair that they don't have any lube in the living room and is just about ready to straighten up, drag Song Lan back to the bedroom so they can do it properly. Then he hears something tear and feels slick fingers slide against his ass. Song Lan came prepared. Such a good, thoughtful boyfriend, even if it is frankly out of character for him to anticipate sex like this. When it happens, if it happens, there's so much delicate kissing and foreplay and it's consistently in the bed or the shower where they're prepared. But he can't even speculate on it, Song Lan's fingers feel too good, pushing the lube inside him fast, impatient. He wants to spread his legs but he's trapped by his slacks and can only pant helplessly against the couch cushions.

Thoughtfully, Song Lan's clean hand reaches down to brush his hair out of his face, tracing the line of his jaw. The fingers inside him spread once more, then slide out, and that's all the warning he really gets before he feels Song Lan's cock press steady and inexorable inside him.

The sound he lets out would be embarrassing under any other circumstance, low and broken and wet. It's been long enough that he almost can't handle the stretch. It's almost too much and makes him choke. His knees feel weak. His spit is making a wet spot on the couch cushions. Song Lan still doesn't stop, not until his hips are pressed flush against Xingchen's ass. His breath is coming heavy now, ragged. He's thoughtful again when he pauses to let then both get used to it, his hands resting on Xingchen's hips, one of them tacky with drying lube, and he pets soothingly at one hipbone like Xingchen is a skittish horse.

Like that, Xiao Xingchen remembers that he's supposed to breathe, and he takes a deep, shaking breath before letting it out loudly, and he can feel it relax down his spine. Song Lan pets him again, approvingly, then eases out of him only to slam back inside. Xiao Xingchen chokes on another cry, and that seems to encourage him, the pace rough and quick.

Time ceases to exist. Xingchen can't see, obviously, but the pleasure feels like starbursts of color in his mind. The apartment is very quiet, except for the wet slap of skin and too much lube (Song Lan was always careful like that) and their labored breathing, punctuated with moans and whimpers punched out of Xingchen's throat. It is so rough, he knows he is going to be sore, aching and remembering this for days. But it's so good too, Song Lan's cock stretching him and hollowing him out, making a space inside him. He's so hard it hurts, and his own cock is leaking. Song Lan's hand reaches down to cup it protectively, preventing it from smearing over the back of the couch. The pressure is maddening without friction to go with it, and Xingchen sobs out his pleasure, trembling and pushing back on him.

When he cums it's a punch to the gut, fingers white-knuckled against the couch cushions and a cry ripping out of his throat. His heart feels like it's hammering so hard that all he can hear for a few moments is the whoosh-whoosh of his heartbeat. But he realizes quickly that Song Lan has felt it. He drapes himself over Xingchen's back, fucking him hard and fast, racing towards the end. It must crash into him too, because he grunts and transforms into a heavy, shuddering weight, pressing him into the couch, his cock twitching inside.

Time still doesn't really exist. They might stay draped over that couch for hours, for all Xingchen can tell. His ass is sore, he can barely breathe, he's going to have bruises where the couch is digging into his midsection, and he feels like he hasn't been this happy in months. It's not just the sex – though, to be fair, the sex is amazing and a big part of it. It's what comes with the sex. He feels connected to Song Lan like this, special, needed. And then, taken care of, because eventually Song Lan straightens up and helps him up, drops down to help him work off his shoes and slacks so they can walk back to the bedroom. His arm supports Xingchen around the waist because he's for surewalking with a limp right now. He helps him get his shirt off and brushes his hair back over his shoulder and kisses his cheek, so sweet.

Xiao Xingchen makes to go to the bathroom. He still smells like smoke and wine and sex, and Song Lan won't want that in their bed. But before he can pull away, Song Lan pulls him back in close, nuzzles his hair and kisses him again in a way that makes his heart feel soft and warm, honey in his chest. He lets Song Lan lead him to bed, even though he has the distinct sensation of cum slowly starting to leak out of his body.

“Here, keep it in,” Song Lan rumbles low, curling up behind him and pressing his fingers into Xingchen, pressing it back inside. Xingchen sucks in a breath, his body feeling oversensitive and raw but good. It's not too much. Then there are some sounds behind him, and then he feels Song Lan's cock press into him again. That is almost too much, and he makes a small sound, not sure if he could handle a second round.

But it's not to fuck him. Song Lan settles, their bodies pressed close, fitting perfectly. Song Lan's nose presses into his shoulder, and he kisses there a few times. Without too much preamble, they fall asleep.

~

The next morning, of course, they are stuck together. It's a little disgusting, but there isn't a thing that Xiao Xingchen would have changed about the night before. He stirs a little, then makes a sound of complaint, his body protesting the movement from the waist down. Song Lan wakes up next, and Xingchen can practically hear his grimace when he remembers the position they were stuck in.

He's as careful as he can manage when he pulls away from Xingchen's body, pressing a gentle hand to his arm to indicate he should stay still. There are some bathroom sounds, water running, and then Song Lan returns with a warm, wet washcloth to gently wipe him clean. Xingchen has to bite his knuckle; his ass feels raw, sore and swollen. He can feel precisely how hard they went. He still doesn't regret a moment.

Song Lan treats him soft and sweet that morning, brings him breakfast in bed and combs his hair. They're both quiet, Xingchen because he's hesitant to say anything that will break the spell, and Song Lan because he seems exhausted from socializing so much the day before. Sometimes it's harder than others. Then to recuperate, he's quieter than usual, minimizing his interactions, sometimes even with Xingchen himself. Xingchen doesn't take it personally, and usually uses the time to indulge his own inner introvert and work on his own projects.

Nothing wrong with that, except that they continue to not talk about it. Xingchen can't make the shape of his desire into words, the way Song Lan's touch lights him up, the way he craves the desperate way they came together after the launch party. Song Lan's touches feel apologetic, half guilty, wary of pushing too far, like he's afraid of his own attraction. They haven't had to navigate anything like this before, where before they were coasting on instinct and now the waters feel choppy.

Xiao Xingchen finds it a welcome distraction to turn to the trial. There's no shortage of material – Xue Yang continues to be the media's darling or scapegoat by turns, sometimes both in the same article. He figures out how to find the best news channel to listen to what he can, certain amounts of testimony from witnesses and arguments from lawyers. He thinks its a small blessing that he himself was such a useless witness when it came to the stabbing incident, so he hasn't been called to court. In any case, that's how he first hears Xue Yang's voice, surprisingly young, always irreverent and teasing, even when he's supposed to be taking the court show seriously.

And it really does seem like a show. The prosecution is fighting as best they can, but the defense is barely working at all, their questions lazy and confident at the same time. The judge doesn't seem in any kind of hurry to help the prosecution when the defense steps out of line. Everything is played to the media like a huge circus, and everyone is marching towards a foregone conclusion.

Then, as quickly as it started, it's over. The media coverage disappears overnight. It's not old enough to be old news, but that's how it's treated. Xiao Xingchen has to search and search to find anything about the conclusion, and all he can find is basically a footnote stating that a settlement was reached, which sounds frankly preposterous. The charges against Xue Yang included murder! He hadn't thought it was possible that a settlement could be found against a potential murderer, especially when the prosecution had brought witnesses and evidence galore. It feels profoundly unfair, a sincere lack of justice, and he wonders how natural-born Americans feel about their supposed “justice system.”

His dissatisfaction with the finale of the trial makes it hard to put it all behind him. He struggles with sleeping and focusing on his projects and his studies, he's snappish and short-tempered and withdrawn from Song Lan. Even if Song Lan asked what is troubling him, he has no confidence that he could articulate it to any understandable degree. So Song Lan can't help, and Xiao Xingchen doesn't know how to help himself.

It's on a random day when Xingchen hears a knock on the door. That's unusual – Song Lan left for work, but he would have texted if he forgot his keys, and Xingchen doesn't think they're expecting any deliveries. He debates just leaving it, pretending he's not home, but the knock comes again, more insistent.

Heaving a big sigh, he picks himself up from where he had been lounging, attempting to read and feel somewhat productive but mostly just feeling listless. It crosses his mind that Song Lan might have gotten it in his head to do some kind of gesture, getting him flowers or something – not that flowers aren't thoughtful, but he thinks the gesture is now lost on him since he can't see them. He doesn't think he brushed his hair this morning, but this delivery man will just have to tolerate him looking a little messy. He finds the door and opens it, trying to put a pleasant expression on his face.

“Hello, can I help you?” he asks, and waits for a response.

None comes. He waits a few moments, then frowns. Was something dropped off? He considers bending to check for a box, but there's a feeling rising, a prickling feeling on the back of his neck that tells him he's being watched. But if there's someone there, why aren't they speaking? Why aren't they telling him why they're there? Belatedly, he realizes this might be some kind of burglar who could take advantage of him. He doesn't have a weapon, but there's an umbrella in the stand next to the door and knives in the kitchen, and though it's been years he still has his martial arts training. How much that will help, he doesn't know, he hasn't even attempted to fight anyone even to spar since he lost his sight, and he doesn't think running through the exercises and stretches in the morning will really help if someone actually attacks him.

Whoever is at the door still hasn't spoken, and it's making his nerves go haywire, his heart pounding even though he hasn't even moved. Maybe he's being stupid and getting freaked out over nothing. Maybe there's no one even there, and there's no reason for his skin to feel nervous cold/hot. “Hello?” he says again, this time significantly less confident, his voice giving out halfway through.

There's another few moments of silence, then a wild cackle, not an attractive laugh at all. It feels familiar, somehow, though it's not until Xue Yang speaks that Xiao Xingchen recognizes him.

“Wow. I guess you're real, huh?”

[mercyandmagic]

Hi, mercyandmagic thank you for answering my asks... :D

Don't know if you remember, but I've asked before of your top 5 fav mxtx characters, and you've answered yours. If you don't mind me asking, can I ask you, why you like those characters (in a longer asnwer)? Sorry, if I ask you similar question again......

Yessss. This gonna be long. We’ll start from 5th and work our way to #1. 

5. Wei Wuxian

First, there’s just something incredibly refreshing about an untamed (ahem) character who says the thing everyone thinks but won’t dare say. It is my second-favorite character trope (We’ll get to the first). Plus, he has a great sense of justice and a self-sacrificing spirit... and yet he is capable of great cruelty, sadism, and hurting others to vent his pain (Nightless City, Wen Chao). Believe it or not, the fact that he has done great evil he cannot undo makes me love him more... because he knows it.  

In Chapter 68, when he’s confronted, he doesn’t deny killing Fang Mengchen’s parents, nor taking Yi Weichun’s leg. He doesn’t show anger at their valid pain; he merely points out that nothing he can do now will undo the damage he caused. 

He also has a low tolerance for BS and a high level of empathy. The fact that he scoffs at the cultivators gossiping against Jin Guangyao, the fact that he isn’t happy they have a new scapegoat, speaks a lot. Plus, he can easily understand why the Hook Hand’s final victim needs to scream (Ch. 124), why Jin Guangyao spared Sisi (Ch. 111) and made the Guanyin Temple (Ch. 110), why Nie Huaisang doesn’t want to admit what he did (Ch. 110), etc. Wei Wuxian is just great.

4. Qin Su

She deserves far more appreciation than she gets. She was involved in the Sunshot Campaign. When society judged Jin Guangyao and Meng Shi for their status, Qin Su never did. She loved the man who saved her life. She was willful enough to be the pursuer in her relationship with Jin Guangyao (Ch. 47), and was open to sleeping with him to ascertain their marriage (Ch. 106). She’s naive and trusting, despite losing her son. She’s loyal AF even to Bicao, even though Bicao literally sold her out for jewelry (ahem, Ch. 85). 

Qin Su. only has a short side role in the larger novel, but she’s a fully developed human.  That’s incredible.

3. Lan Wangji

I relate to Lan Wangji more than any of the other characters. Not being able to communicate, or being afraid to – relatable. Plus, having grown up fundamentalist Christian, I find the way in which Lan Wangji’s stubborn rule-following gives way to a willingness to break the rules when it does no harm or helps those he loves... inspiring. Like, he goes from having himself beaten for being pulled outside the Cloud Recesses (something this scrupulosity-sufferer relates to very well) to giving Wei Wuxian the Emperor’s Smile hidden in the Jingshi (Ch. 65).  

If I may add, I read MDZS around the same time I watched GOT Season 8. There’s a similarity in how Wei Wuxian and Daenerys Targaryen have murderous breakdowns after losing everything and everyone close to them. And yet instead of putting Wei Wuxian down like a dog (side eyes Jon Snow), Lan Wangji takes him away, tries to save him, still believes he is capable of good. In his own words, he’s “willing to bear all of the consequences with [Wei Wuxian].” Lan Wangji believes in redemption, in chance after chance. He’s refreshing in a world that believes one deed can stain you forever. I love him.

2. Lan Xichen

He’s just... good? Like, really good? He has to balance leading a clan with a society that is very Not Good, and this definitely leads to some gray points (The Wens, saying nothing in support of Mianmian, etc). But he, like Qin Su, refuses to judge people for origins. He always has to see the good in others – as Ch. 105 says, “whenever he heard there might be hidden reasons, he just had to hear it.” Lan Xichen wants to know and sympathize with everyone’s reasons. That’s just... wonderful. 

It’s notable that his whereabouts for the First Siege of the Burial Mounds are unknown. Lan Qiren led the Gusu Lan Clan, not Lan Xichen (Ch. 68). Which makes me speculate that while he thought Wei Wuxian was done for, he couldn’t bear to participate in killing the man his brother loved.   

He’s a touch avoidant, as seen when he tells Wei Wuxian he does not want to know why his mother killed his father’s teacher (Ch. 64). (I will also defend him agains the charges that he was wrong to try to reconcile Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao – they were his friends and Lan Xichen believed in them. Those two made their own choices, and it was Not Lan Xichen’s Fault). 

Anyhow, he’s good. And he loves Jin Guangyao. I know MXTX said she did not write a romance with them, and I don’t think they ever would have cheated on Qin Su. But that does not diminish that Lan Xichen’s seclusion at the end of the novel, is described as “exactly reversed” from when Lan Wangji was mourning Wei Wuxian (Ch. 114).  

1. Jin Guangyao

My favorite character. trope, the sneaky bastard with daddy issues! What makes Jin Guangyao stand out even among all my favorite sneaky bastards is that... his actions are so very gray that IMO he’s not even really a villain.

For real, what did Jin Guangyao do? Kill his brother who tried to kill him first and was slowly losing his grip on reality and hurting him and Nie Huaisang anyways? (Ch. 49, 50) It was still wrong – and I firmly believe that the motivation was payback for ‘son of a prostitute,’  (as Wei Wuxian suggests, Ch. 104) and not safety – but my point remains. (Plus there’s the implication that Jin Guangshan willed it, too). (Ch. 106).

Married his lover after discovering she was his sister to keep her from being an unwed mother? (Ch. 106) In that situation, I wish he had told Qin Su so she could choose, too, but I fail to find anything condemnable in Jin Guangyao’s actions there. 

Furthermore, when writing “Sentiment” and now “Sunlit Jade,” what I’ve been struck by is that most of his misdeeds end with killing Jin Guangshan. 

The possible exception is Jin Rusong (and since our main source for the idea of cold-blooded filicide and framing of an innocent clan leader is Clan Leader Yao, I am highly skeptical). And Xue Yang remaining alive, but again, we don’t know if Jin Guangyao chose to let him go with a warning/beating severe enough to disable his leg, or if Jin Guangyao truly meant to kill him (I favor the former position, but it’s open for interpretation).

Now, how Jin Guangyao kills and the fact that he does kill his father is wrong. Burning the brothel? Wrong, though I understand his hatred of that place and the people there. Killing the He Clan? Wrong, but 1) it’s on his father’s orders, and 2) he has a rather intriguing reaction when Xue Yang shuts He Su in alive with the corpses. (Ch. 118). 

He looks for something to “comfort” himself. 

This is strange, because he’s previously been a torturer (Ch. 47). What is more torture to him? 

I don’t know the answer, but it speaks to someone who suffers a lot, who did a lot of terrible things in pursuit of a love from his father that never came. And someone who, once he gains power in the position of Chief Cultivator, implements a program to save more commoners’ lives than ever before (Ch. 42).

That’s not the action of a villain.

[Sidenote, and based off a comment that wryhun on AO3 once left me: What I love the most about Jin Guangyao, and MDZS as a whole, is depending on the perspective you take, anyone can be an antagonist or a protagonist.

Jiang Cheng can be Wei Wuxian’s tsundere shidi (reader perspective), or he can be the serial killer of demonic cultivators who refuses to help commoners with spirits unless people have already died (Innkeeper’s perspective, Ch. 92).

Nie Huaisang can be the avenging didi (often a fan’s perspective), or the person who treated the juniors like fodder, killed cats, and sliced up a woman’s body just for revenge (Wei Wuxian’s perspective in Ch. 110, Jin Guangyao’s perspective in Ch. 108).]  

Jin Guangyao is an antagonist because his goals conflict with Wei Wuxian’s. But he’s really no worse than many of the other characters, and in fact, while all have suffered, he’s arguably suffered some of the worst circumstances of all. 

He makes poor choices, although he insists he doesn’t have a choice. I believe that he believes he has no choice... but he does. And that is so very, very tragic. 

I love him and want the world (or really just Lan Xichen) for him. 

[marithlizard]

Thoughts on RWBY v8c1, “Divide”

Summary: Much as expected!   Top-notch animation and imagery, terrifying plot, sloppy writing.

(I am just going to have to accept that RWBY no longer cares if details make sense, or are strictly in character, as long as they lead to Something Cool.  Which is frustrating! I’ve never been particularly a fan of most of the big story franchises for precisely that reason  -  I want a canon text that holds up to my obsessively analytic fangirl scrutiny.)

(Yes OKAY I know, they sent a dog through the mail way back in v2 and that should’ve been a clue, but the plot holes didn’t get big enough to actually annoy me until v5-v6. And I still love my favorite characters so I’m going to have to suck it up.  Onward to the episode!)

CINDER BACKSTORY ALERT

Oh, now that's a lovely transition,  present-day Cinder’s nails scratching in time with past-Cinder’s scrubbing of the floor. 

Damn it, Neo, you should not be here. You're not evil enough for  this crowd no matter how many people you may have killed.  And you know it, from that look of fear.  Roman would be yelling at you to run.

Did they - are those the murderwhale's gills?  Turned into landing pads for small airships? And those are teeth. Salem's throne room/bridge is in its mouth. So cool.

Credit? No, you  don't get credit,  Neo. That's not how this works.

Oh,  no. No, Emerald, don't - yeah.  

I love the weird biomagical-Grimm technology Salem uses.  It pulsates.  Of course it pulsates.

"Without you I am nothing".  I still don't think Cinder is delivering that line sincerely, not one bit.  She just knows the situation. 

And Salem just shoos them away with a little wave of her fingers, go away minion-flies.   There are only two players in the entire world as far as she's concerned.  Only two people, really.  Humanity 2.0 doesn't count.

Oscar and Ozpin in a freezing little collection of hovels. Probably still the same quarry or mine they fell into.   Oh YAY reunion approximately 1000% sooner than anyone was predicting!  But...Oscar doesn't actually look relieved to see Ruby.

Yeah, he hasn't told them about Oz being back.  

So they've joined forces with the Huntresses, excellent. And May Marigold on top of things as dispatcher!

AWWWW Nora didn't bowl him over.  Hopefully it's not just that she has no exuberance in her, and she has actually picked up the clear signals that he doesn't like it.

Wanting to talk it out with Ozpin first is a good reason. Not done talking? You haven't even started.  But...it's going to make the others mad all over again, and this time they'll be mad at you, Oscar.  

Ozpin has had only two lines so far, but there's a different quality to his voice now.  I think they changed up the sound effect but it's more than that.  Oz used to always sound at least a bit smug and very self-assured.  Every trace of that is just...gone.  And Oscar himself is sounding very Oz-like, with the “every choice I’ve made has been the wrong one” angst.   I’m starting to really worry we will lose Ozpin this volume. :( 

Qrow and Robyn's arrest hasn't been publicized.  But their pictures are gone from the wanted mug shots.  Arrested or dead seem obvious conclusions - I guess they're too afraid of the second to make any guesses.

Ironwood's rationale last season for stopping the Mantle evacuations was that they were going to raise Atlas so there wasn't time.  But that no longer applies, Atlas can't be raised without Penny.   So he's just decided their lives aren't worth spending resources on.  Which makes me wonder what's happened to the Mantle residents who have already been evacuated.   Being warehoused somewhere in poor conditions with no one having a clue what to do with them?  We probably won't find out. It's not the kind of detail RWBY is good at following up on, unfortunately.

Huh.  I see the logic of the crater being warm and centralized...but when Salem attacks Atlas they're going to be directly underneath.  

Ouch, that photograph and broken luggage are effective. I may have complaints about the writing but RWBY's storyboarders and animators do a stellar job.

Speaking of which, apparently we really ARE handwaving physics and major  engineering projects so that Amity can be launched with Pietro's knowhow and a  roll of duct tape.  The only requirement is to push the equivalent of the big green button on a computer.  

AND Ruby wants to go ahead with telling the world about Salem?  Despite it having been acknowledged last volume that there would be global chaos and Grimm invasions?  Ironwood's plan to "lend forces"  after the fact was hopelessly inadequate and would have killed millions.  Now there's no plan for  aid at all.  

ARGH - hm.  Well.  I guess I do see Ruby's point about feeling obligated to warn everyone Salem's army is on the move.  But what defense can anyone else in the world mount?  Atlas is the only place with a real army anyway.   And the Beacon footage already triggered waves of despair and Grimm, I don't think Lionheart was lying about that.   Ruby's plan just means people will die sooner.   I'm with Yang, they should help Mantle and concentrate on fighting  Salem here and now.

...wait,is Yang rebelling?  Just like that?  Is it v6c2 all over again with even less buildup?  Ooh, no, because  Ruby's not alone. It's a genuine party split.

Oh god, someone explain to Penny that she must stay out of Salem's clutches at all costs.  That's a frightening level of naivete.  In fact, they should be getting Penny the fuck out of Atlas and as far away as possible.

RNBWP and YJOR,  Rainbow-P and, er,  hm, the fandom will doubtless come up with a better name than "Orgy".  An interesting breakdown.  I'm just glad they were able to do it peacefully. (Although Nora sounds salty in the extreme and Ren looks betrayed.)

I'm just going to assume Pietro disabled the tracking on their scrolls, and that James can't find them using this phone call.

Oh, Ironwood.   That is...not remotely convincing.  But you think of her as a little kid still, one who was always eager to please before.

He's got a valid point from  his chess-game perspective, it's true.  If Salem gets all four relics, Remnant really is doomed.  (He doesn't know about the summoning-gods clause, but even without that she could reshape the planet).  But raising Atlas to keep it safe while she rains down destruction on the rest of the world is not a viable plan either morally or strategically.  

Annd we cut to the Ace Ops without hearing Ruby's answer. Ace Ops looking variously depressed, impassive, and pissed off.

..er.  Clover IS dead, right?  Must be, or he'd be covered in IVs and monitors, but that we're standing in a medical facility next to Winter getting treatment makes it seem  ambiguous. That's pretty cruel to the FairGame shippers, c'mon, they've suffered enough.

I wish I hadn't learned about the robot arm, because it would've been a nicely shocking reveal.  It's not Pietro's  work, James.  Pietro left you and you'll be reminded of that every time you clench your inferiorly-made fingers.

Oof, Winter is tied to Ironwood by his sincere gratitude, as well as duty and loyalty.  That bond is going to be tested further.

Okay the Councilors are acting like idiots. Martial law is a terrible idea 99% of the time. But when you have an massive Grimm army, a flying murderwhale and the queen of evil on your doorstep might be a reasonable time to contemplate the 1%.    

did you - did you just kill a councillor

please tell me that was a warning shot

Harriet and Winter both have "my boss is going round the twist fast, oh shit" looks on their faces.  And they exchanged a glance there.

And we end with the scene from the trailer of Salem ordering a flying monkey-bloodhound to fetch Oscar.  She's talking to the lamp - I wonder if Jinn can hear?  Probably not, it was definitely implied she was waking up from sleep in v6c2.

New opening!  I've already commented on the dramatic title card of the others "turning their backs" on Ruby.   Ooh,  Clover's shadow is going to hang long over this season, apparently!  And - whoa,  THAT'S an unexpected juxtaposition of characters.

Are they going to team up? Is Harriet going to break Qrow out of prison,  yell at him to stop being a lump and avenge Clover?   Definite teamup for him and Robyn, unsurprising but good.  (I don't think romance is in the cards for Qrow this volume, it'll be wall-to-wall doom, but for the record anyone who can give this man a happy ending is okay by me.)

It's just not looking good for Oscar and Oz at all.  :(    

Whitley and Willow in the credits!   Yes please, they both have so much potential to grow out of Jacques' shadow.

Watts, you smug little fucker.   Smug tall fucker. You know what I mean. Oh no - he’s going to hijack Ruby’s broadcast from Amity.  It’ll be like Beacon but worse. That’s such a horrible idea that it is now my official prediction. 

Interesting use of mirrors here.

That little glance between Yang and Ruby suggests they won't truly come to enmity, thank goodness.  

I wonder if there's something significant in the relative positioning of Emerald and Mercury.  Is he going to rise higher in Salem's ranks while she and Neo are reluctant, and possibly team up to escape? 

"Some lives will end much too soon,some evil will never ever die"  YES THANK YOU CASEY AND JEFF WE GET IT

Oh MY.  RWBY falling into deep water just like Cinder, with golden sparkles that sure do make it seem a lot like the buried GoL pool of creation. The staff floating above out of reach.  Is this hinting at an unwelcome transformation of some  kind?  

Scribbly outlines of weapons and Grimm and Penny, her colors changing.  "HAPPY EVER AFTER" being crossed out and replaced by "HAPPY NEVER AGAIN".  

hello yes I'm scared for the entire team, you can stop any time now.

[bloodraven55]

The Linguistics of Bumbleby III

Alright, we’re on the home stretch, y’all. This is the third and final part and it includes V4-V6 because it didn’t seem worth splitting them into two separate parts. That does mean this one is slightly longer, though, just so you know 😅

PART THE THIRD

Here we have Volumes 4 and 5, a.k.a. the conversations that Blake and Yang have with other people about each other.

One, Blake and Sun's talk in V4C11. This one's fairly simple. Blake says that she loves her team like she never thought she could love anybody, and that she thinks about them every day. Her voice only cracks when she says Yang's name, indicating that though she means all of them Yang is the person she misses the most. 

Two, the initial RWY conversation and Yang and Weiss' talk afterwards. Yang claims not to want Blake around, but then admits that she "needed [Blake] there for [her]." This contrast between want and need highlights that although she’s conflicted Yang would still rather Blake were there if she had the choice. Then Weiss explains why she believes Blake left, giving Yang greater perspective on why Blake did what she did. But this is all fairly straightforward, the noteworthy part is...

Three, Sun's "[...] and I can promise Yang would say the same" and Weiss' "[...] and I'm willing to bet Blake feels the same way." More clear parallels; a friend of theirs reminds Blake and Yang that the other person does care about them despite the literal and metaphorical distance between the two of them. Most striking, however, is that there is no precedent for Sun bringing up Yang here. Immediately before he says that he makes the very romantically charged declaration of "I would do it all again if it meant protecting you"... and then instead of following up on it he kills his own romantic moment by referencing Yang. Combined with the fact that he is flagrantly conflating his own (widely accepted to be romantic) feelings for Blake with Yang's feelings for Blake, this scene is meant to tell the viewer that Sun has realised that Yang has those feelings for Blake, and he wants Blake to be aware of Yang's feelings too so that she can fix her relationship with Yang.

The summary of this third part can be mostly boiled down to: Blake and Yang both pine for each other and are angsty about the idea that the other one doesn't return their feelings, and Sun and Weiss become best wingman and wingwoman respectively.

PART THE FOURTH

Okay, we're near the end now, I promise. The last scenes I want to cover are from Volume 6. This section might not go quite as deep with the analysis since a lot of things became much more obvious by this point, but hopefully this part will still be fun with a few interesting observations nonetheless.

One, the conversation on the train in V6C1. Not too much to go over here. Yang is awkward. Blake is awkward. It's a whole mess of awkwardness. But there are two things I would like to briefly touch on.

First, the way Yang says "Blake, you don't have to do that." This line could have been delivered in an angry or bitter tone to show Yang's lingering doubts about Blake rejoining the team, but it isn't. Instead it sounds almost sad, and a little uncomfortable. What the viewer is supposed to take from this line in particular isn't so much that Yang is still mad at Blake for leaving, but that Yang doesn't want Blake bending over backwards and doing things for her to try and make it up to her.

Second, "I'm fine... we're gonna be fine." Yang initially frames her answer only in terms of herself, but then shifts to referring to both her and Blake. It's not just their individual wellbeing she's talking about, it's the state of their relationship. This is an olive branch, if you will, letting Blake know that even if she's hurt she does still want to see if they can fix their bond.

Two, "Good to see you're not rusty." This comment serves two purposes: 1) it shows that Blake and Yang's dynamic hasn't been irrevocably damaged as they're still able to share the playful banter they did before, and 2) it establishes that Yang's still casually flirting a little.

Three, each of them calling out the other's name first in V6C2. In a moment of panic and fear, Blake and Yang are each other's first thought. Take from that what you will, but it emphasises how much they care about each other even after everything that happened during/following the Fall of Beacon. So far all of these moments are telling the audience that there is something to be repaired here; Blake and Yang's connection is presented as weakened, but far from broken.

Four, the barn scene in V6C5. Oh boy, oh boy. First there's Yang answering Blake's "Are you okay?" with "I don't know", which is not at all the same "I'll be fine [...]" she gave Weiss in V5C6 and "I'm totally fine, I'm great" she failed to convince Ruby or Weiss with in V5C8. Even just earlier in V6 when it's in front of the others she tells Blake "[they're] gonna be fine", but when it's just the two of them she admits that none of those answers were true where she didn't with anyone else. Combine that with the fact that Blake starts opening up about what her relationship with Adam was like later in this scene when before she didn't even tell Sun he was more than someone she worked with and only vaguely described what he was like to the rest of the team after Yang's fight with Mercury, and it's pretty obvious that both of them only really feel comfortable discussing their most intimate feelings with each other. Lastly, also compare the sharp "We're fine" Yang gives Blake here to the reassuring "We're gonna be fine" in C1; while this scene demonstrates the strength of Blake and Yang's bond, it is also its lowest point. From here it can either snap completely, or be mended to become stronger than ever, which is what we get starting with...

Five, V6C10 a.k.a. the gayest scene in RWBY so far. This exchange is just as awkward as the one in the first episode, but for somewhat different reasons. It's flirtatious and lovestruck - there isn't really any other way to describe it. Blake is shy and almost bashful; she teases that "stealth isn't exactly [Yang's forté]" then panics and immediately backtracks with "I mean, you're great, and I'll hurry back." It's all totally unnecessary to reach the objective of the conversation (which is just to convey that Blake is going to disable the tower alone) and it can't be reasonably interpreted as anything other than romantic. The most striking part for me, however, is Yang's "Go." It's one tiny word, yet it serves perfectly to make it clear to the audience that by now Yang trusts Blake not to leave again, and not only that but she trusts Blake to leave and then come back. This interaction is needed in order to move their reconciliation forwards so that they are a united front when...

Six, Adam happens. If subtlety was set on fire and thrown out the window never to be seen again before, then now its remains have also been trampled on by a raging bull just for good measure.

Adam is exceedingly open about the fact that he sees Yang as a rival for Blake's love, and hates the fact that Blake has, as he perceives it, chosen Yang over him. He tries to manipulate Yang by arguing that Blake "made a promise to [him] once that she'd always be at [his] side", but when Yang instantly sees through him he resorts to asking Blake if he "just wasn't good enough for [her]" to which she very rightly replies that "it was so much more than that." Adam's jealousy reaches its most undeniable, though, when it culminates in him screaming "What does she even see in you?!" at Yang. It's a phrase that is never used except in the context of romantic interest, and it removes any remaining doubt that this isn't a personal conflict for Adam. It could make sense for him to hate Yang because she's a human, but he never brings that up and instead repeatedly highlights himself that it's her connection with Blake that he despises.

The other part worthy of note here is Blake's "[...] we're protecting each other" speech, which serves as a direct counterpoint to her earlier declaration to Yang of "I'll protect you", and completes their V6 trajectory from the start with Blake's guilt putting them on an uneven footing to this moment in which she recognises that they need to stand as equals instead. (And I'd like to clarify that this issue was never about Blake seeing Yang as weak--heck, her word for her is "strength"--it was about her feeling like she owed Yang something in truth for the loss of her arm to Adam and needing to let go of that unhealthy mindset.)

Seven, the aftermath of the Adam confrontation. It's only a couple of lines of dialogue, but it says an awful lot. The fact that Blake's first instinct is to reassure Yang that she won't leave again or go back on her word when Yang is already holding her demonstrated just how deep Adam's manipulation ran, and Yang's response is equally significant. She could say "It's okay" or "I forgive you", or something else that would validate Blake's guilt in the process of absolving it, but she doesn't. She says "I know you won't", which is infinitely more powerful because it demonstrates that she isn't just offering Blake forgiveness, she's also making it clear that there was nothing to forgive in the first place since Blake's actions were well-meaning and a result of past abuse.

Eight, and last but very very far from least, "we were there for each other." This is the conclusion of this whole arc in Yang and Blake's relationship. This line emphasises that they are closer than ever before, and that they're finally back in a healthy place from which they can move forward.

The summary of this fourth part can mostly be boiled down to: yeah, they’re in love.

Well, there we are, guys. We have reached the end. Sincere congratulations to anyone who stuck around this long, because this got very very long, but I hope it was worth it 😊

[cassiopia-myopia]

Okay, so, maybe I’m just not looking in the right places, and if I am please tell me, but there’s something I haven’t seen discussed that I think should be;

Ruby. There’s a lot of talk about Yang and Blake, how they must have felt after the Fall. How Yang felt about Blake abadndoning her. I’ve seen talk about how Weiss must have felt, isolated and prisoner in her own home. A home that no longer was her home. How scared they were, how depressed they were, the guilt they had. But something I’ve not seen is talk about how Ruby must have felt.

Abviously there’s been talk about Penny. Penny was a very keen loss to Ruby. It definitely effected her as much as Pyrrha, but there was more to it. I’m not talking about romantic feeling, that would be circumspect and easily disabled. Ruby was Penny’s first and only true friend. The rest of RWBY knew her but they didn’t talk to her. To them she was just that weirdo girl who didn’t understand social norms but could fight like hell on fire. Surely they felt something about her death, but they weren’t close to her. Ruby was. Ruby might have been the one person that actually, truly, deeply cared about her. Another person Ruby felt responsible for. Then she was gone, in a flash, by one of Ruby’s own best friend. Accident or not, willingly or not, Ruby definitely felt betrayed about that. There’s no way she didn’t, even if she caught it because she knew that Pyrrha wasn’t the one truly responsible.

Weiss was taken away. Weiss is Ruby’s best friend, her partner. That kind of team and partner environment definitely places a sense of reliance and responsibility in all of them for each other. Ruby also knew that Weiss needed her, how could she not? Weiss was raised to be a certain way, and in trying to get away from that she was completely lost with no idea how to act other than ‘Schnee’. While Blake was the first to call her out, Ruby was the first to offer compassion and companionship. Ruby was probably her first ever friend. With Weiss dependency on Ruby, came a sense of responsibly for Weiss. Then she was taken away and Ruby had no way of helping Weiss. She probably lost some of her sense of purpose with that.

Blake left. Blake was her teammate, her subordinate, so Ruby had a responsibility to her as well. Along with a deep friendship. When Blake left there’s every possibility that Ruby felt as though she had failed Blake. Why else would she leave? She lost more purpose and another friend. Ruby had to deal with the hurt that caused her, but also the hurt it caused Yang, who was already depressed because of her arm. Depressed and suffering from PTSD. While dealing with PTSD herself. This is her Big Sister, always strong, always protective, always there for her. This was new territory for Ruby. Sure, Taiyang was there, but I get the feeling that Ruby relies less on him than she did on Yang. All of the sudden that Big Sister persona just... disappeared. There’s no way Ruby knew what to do with that.

In a very real sense, Yang left too. Not physically, obviously. But mentally. Yang was in such a deep depression, with no idea or motivation to cope with it, that all of her relationships suffered, especially the one with Ruby. We know Yang felt abandoned by Blake, and she was. She probably also felt abandoned by Weiss, so that definitely pushed her even further into her abandonment mindset that everyone would leave her. Of course, Ruby leaving probably reinforced that idea, but right now we’re not here for Yang. Ruby probably also has abandonment issues, if not before then definitely after the Fall. As much as she abdandoned Yang, Yang abandoned her first. Pushed her away as much as she could and clouded herself in her depression and PTSD, gave into them.

Ruby was left with only one purpose. With her team in shambles, with one barely able to call them a team but in past tense, she latched on to the only purpose she felt she had left. Be a huntress, fight the bad guys, win the war. Team JNPR had an opening that she felt responsible for. She witnessed her death, was only just too late to save her, and she was probably still feeling betrayed by her, which probably just added to her guilt. So she joined team RNGR. She went off to fight the bad guys. At this point, Ruby is surrounded by friends, but the three of them are a team first and foremost, and friends to Ruby second. That’s how it should be, too, but that doesn’t take away the negatives of that. While she was there, and helping, and supporting Jaune as much as she could so he could still lead his team, his team that was still together despite their loss, she probably felt alone.

JNR felt Pyrrha’s loss keenly, she was a friend, an amazing person, their teammate, Jaune’s partner and love. But they stuck together. Ruby probably looked at it and was reminded of how her team was lost to the wind. That kind of bond is strong, very strong, and hers was so strained it was basically broken.

Abandoned, alone, afraid, practically purposeless. Yet, she persevered. I think some of us take that for granted.

[dragynkeep]

Actually disheartening to me to see people who criticize RWBY for its ableism/etc (which is deserved!) turn around and defend it in other instances, or make really strange comparisons to justify it (someone in response to this started comparing Toph and Yang which is just... what)

It just makes me think "do you actually care about these issues, or do you just use them as an excuse to attack the show?".

i know who this is about wheeze & honestly a majority of his takes are rancid. the only people who should be listened to in this scenario & in all are the ones affected, which in this one is physically disabled people who are tired of rwby's ableism towards their main & their intent on seeming to forget they ever actually made her disabled.

especially when you put it into perspective that yang in the show's runtime has been a disabled woman now longer than she was an able bodied woman. yet at every turn the show seems insistent on ignoring the actual experience of being disabled, downplaying her prosthetic, acting as if she's ablebodied, erasing it at every turn on art pieces or merch that they refuse to change until sold out. these are all insidious, subtle forms of ableism that able bodied people need to listen to us about when we say that it hurts us.

unfortunately there will always be bad faith actors who will take our complaints & either use it for their own gain; or speak over us. both have the same end result of disabled people once again being left behind & spoken over.

[ship-ambrosia]

Silverlight (RWBY) - Chapter 2

Chapter 2! This fic literally my life rn besides school...

Link to the fic on AO3: Chapter 1

  It wasn’t something she absolutely hated, but she shifted uncomfortably under the gazes bearing into her. Normally, going into bars were nothing to her. Maybe it was because this one was crowded with people she didn’t know. Maybe it’s because she wasn’t searching for her mother this time. Either way she was sure the faster she left, the better.   Was it that obvious she didn’t belong here? Did they all think she was going to try to bust them? She was in the heart of the black market, but she wasn’t stupid. Any wrong move and there’d be seven knives and hatchets pressed to her back. Still, she thought it was pretty clear she was a Huntress and that none of them would be stupid enough to go toe-to-toe with her, but she didn’t particularly want to test it.   She approached the bartender and sat down on one of the stools, resting both arms on the counter in front of her. Slowly, the older woman standing behind the bar cleaning glasses moved over toward her with an interested expression. The busty, crimson-lipped bartender gave her a once over and her smile appeared more amused as she tucked a loss strand of burgundy hair behind her ear.   “Doll, aren’t you a little young to be here?” She asked with a sultry voice.   “I get that a lot. Heard this is the heart of the town. Just here to ask something.”   “You’ll get an answer depending on what it is you want, sweetie,” there was an ominous, daring tone to the woman’s voice now, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.   Still, she knew to play coy. “I don’t know why everyone’s so suspicious of me. Just looking for someone selling a bike around here. Working condition, I don’t have time to fix her up.”   The bartender looked her up and down once again, some coldness disappearing from her expression. “We’re just not very fond of people who come around carrying themselves as righteous as you do. But if you’re just here for the business, I think I’ve got something for you. Heard there’s a man on the north end of town who’s got his hand on a nearly brand-new motorcycle. No questions asked where he got it, and it’s yours. Provided you can pay.”   “I don’t think that’ll be an issue. Thanks for the tip, Miss... uh... sorry, I never caught your name.”   “Mathilda,” she answered with a smirk, a sultry gaze fixated on the young Huntress in front of her. “Mathilda Applegate. But don’t go thinkin’ just cuz you’re cute that you can name drop me all over town, sweetheart.”   “Wouldn’t dream of it,” she saluted the older woman with two fingers as she got off the barstool. “Thanks for the tip, Mathilda. Hope I see you around!”   With that, she took one final look around the bar before pushing the door to the outside back open with a bright yellow arm that caught the bartender’s eye for the first time.   “That must be the Branwen Clan’s girl,” the older woman mumbled to herself as the door closed behind the girl with golden hair.   Yang blew out a breath as the doors closed behind her, taking a moment to stretch before continuing on with the information the bartender had given her. If there was no bike, she was going to be really freaking pissed. The whole situation made her miss BMBLB more than anything. Though she could hardly say that she regretted the actions that had befallen her beautiful bike - running over a psychotic terrorist who had tormented her best friend for years and had caused her disability was wonderfully therapeutic - she did regret other things that this was reminding her of. Therefore, the faster she got a new ride, the better.   Her scroll went off just as she had started her trek to the northern side of lower Mistral. Yang walked with a carefree attitude, but unlocked her Ember Celica just in case anyone thought it would be a good idea to jump her while she was distracted.   “Hey sis, what’s up?”   “Oh, nothing. Just wanted to check up on you. You’ve been gone for a bit now.”   Yang laughed. “Ruby, it’s only been a couple days. I think I’ll be okay.”   “I know I know, if anyone would, it’d be you,” her sister replied. “General Ironwood said he wants our ship to Vacuo leaving as soon as possible, though. He doesn’t know we’re only waiting on you.”   “I mean, if he’s going to make a big deal about it, you guys can leave and I’ll catch up. Or just a few of you can go.”   “You know we don’t want to split up again unless we’re forced to,” Ruby said with a downtrodden expression.   Yang felt a sense of nostalgia and guilt twisting in her stomach at that. Though she was perhaps the only member of Team RWBY to pick up and leave everyone behind after what happened at Beacon, Yang knew that mentally, she’d been gone. Ruby had left with Jaune, Ren, and Nora because Yang had not been ready to go with them.   “I don’t want to split up unless we have to either,” she mumbled, before her expression became sunny again. “Listen, I think I’ve found a guy. As long as the bike’s in working condition, I’ll be back on the train to Argus by tonight! Doesn’t that sound great?”   “Yeah, but Yang...” Ruby squinted her eyes on the small screen. “Where are you?”   “In Mistral?”   “That doesn’t look anything like when we were there before!”   Yang glanced around herself before offering a sheepish smile. “I miiiiight be in the bottom levels of the city... where Qrow told us never to go...”   Her sister’s eyes grew wide. “Yang! He told us not to go there because it was dangerous!”   “I know, but where else was I gonna get a bike? Besides, I think I’m okay,” The tone of her voice portraying the actual meaning of her words, I don’t think anyone is going to mess with me, and I’m going to leave as soon as I get the bike so that I don’t test it.   Ruby sighed. “Okay Yang, just... be careful. Please.”   “When have I ever given you a chance to worry?” She offered in a sort of playful tone, watching as her sister’s expression darkened once again. There were plenty of times. Guilt sunk in Yang’s stomach again as she almost found herself sunken back into her memories. Before she could be completely swallowed, however, a sudden commotion behind her caught the blonde brawler’s attention.   “Yang? What is it?” Ruby asked, though her sister did not hear her. Yang had put her scroll down to her side as she turned, where she saw a small group of men huddled around an alleyway. As she watched, one of the men raised a gun to the sky and fired off several warning shots.   “C’mon kid!” The man was laughing. “If you don’t hand everything you got over, we’ll just have to take it from ya!”   “Pretty boy shouldn’t have anything on the bunch of us,” said another within Yang’s line of vision, warming up his fists by hitting them together in a similar manner to her. When he did, she could see sparks from electric dust come off his bracelets.   A familiar sensation made its way to the surface from inside her, of hitting thugs where it hurt when she was just starting out fighting. Of dueling her mother’s bandits on her search for Ruby and the others. Of being tricked and lied to, over and over again by people who just didn’t care about others. She remembered looking into the gray eyes of a man who had lied to her, who had used her, who had turned everyone against her and turned into a damn puppet and laughed about it the whole time. She remembered how much she really, really hated that feeling and her eyes went red.   Were these guys some slimy Huntsmen? Or just low-lifes who got their hands on Huntsmen weaponry? Yang guessed to the latter, since this was the area of notorious black market deals of Mistral. That’s why she was here, after all.   “Yang! YANG!” Ruby was still calling from beside her. She rose her scroll back to her face. Her sister looked concerned. “What’s going on?!”   “I’m fine Ruby, but I gotta go! I have to help him!” Yang explained quickly.   “Wait, don’t-“ she cut Ruby off by hanging up on her and stuffing her scroll back in her pocket. Taking off by letting out a blast from both her Ember Celica and the gun on her prosthetic arm reminiscent of the old days, Yang went flying at the men laughing and firing intimidation shots into the sky.   So much for laying low, echoed in the back of her mind, but as Yang swung her fist at the first asshole she came up on, she remembered that laying low had never really been her style. ~   It had been longer than 24 hours since leaving Salem’s palace, and what a quiet few hours it had been. Mercury wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. In that time he’d bounced between taverns, keeping his ears open as he listened to the mumbling between tavern drunkards and sketchy shopkeeps for any jobs that caught his fancy.   He had to start from scratch. He wasn’t going to ride on what he’d done for Salem and Cinder, and the idea of using Marcus for legacy left a bad taste in his mouth. That meant he’d need to take the dirtiest jobs he could find, the ones that not just any assassin would take. He figured becoming a regular mercenary wasn’t a bad idea either, since all he knew was how to fight and he saw no point in limiting himself further. Anything that gave him a new reputation and a neutral place in the world, and made it clear that no one could mess with him.   Every voice that triggered a memory made him jump though, every flash of red, green, or gold made him freeze. He was so freaked out at the prospect of being recognized that he hadn’t been able to sleep. This was the life that he was leading now, and he knew he’d have to get used to it. A fake sense of freedom while he ran from everything he had left behind. Mercury was glad he’d remembered his money in his haste to leave Salem’s palace, after getting himself some food and restocking supplies of dust and ammo that he loaded into his greaves. An assassin caught without his weapons was a dead one, though he knew he could overwhelm anyone with his kicks he didn’t want to risk it. Especially with so many people after him.   He was just leaving the shop, and glanced up toward the higher levels of Mistral along the side of the mountain when another familiar caught in his ears. It rattled in his head, causing his breath to catch in his throat.   “Thanks for the tip, Mathilda!” Called the worst possible voice he could hear right now, even worse than Salem’s. “Hope I see you around!”   Mercury whipped around, looking for the source of the voice. Had he imagined it? Was he literally so paranoid at this point that he was hallucinating? If he was going insane though, he could handle that. Anything was better than actually running into anyone. Than running into her.   But then the flash of gold caught his eye. There she stood, a hand on her forehead to block the sun from her eyes as she looked around. Blonde hair just as wild and free as he remembered. Same clothes, with a purple bandana tied around her leg that should’ve given away that it was her. But what really convinced Mercury was the lemon-yellow paint job on her prosthetic arm.   He stood, frozen, for some time, staring at her as if he couldn’t believe she was real. He was staring with his mouth agape too, and vaguely saw people giving him odd looks as they passed by. They probably just thought he was perverted or something, which was perfectly fine by him. Anything was better than being spotted by her.   What was she doing here? Why was she in Mistral? The last thing he knew about her and the others, they’d been in Atlas. They had already gotten the Relic from Haven - he’d chosen to hide in Mistral over Vacuo for that exact reason. Because he knew they wouldn’t be here. What the hell was she doing here?   Mercury finally steadied himself, and backed away slowly. He noticed she had started to walk in the opposite direction with her scroll up to her face, speaking to someone, and he breathed a sigh of relief. This was it, he thought as he watched her form moving further away from him, her golden hair getting swallowed by the crowd of loners and mercenaries. This was his escape from the old life.   But you could ask her why.   The voice was so sudden, so unexpected, that Mercury looked around himself, expecting someone to have crept up behind him and whispered in his ear. When he found no one, he realized that voice was his. The traitorous Mercury had returned, the one who had kept reminding him of her and her arm before.   Before he could even wonder what it was that he wanted to know, it struck him. Before he could even think about what he was doing, Mercury was moving swiftly through the crowd toward. He shouldered people out of his way, just barely holding on to the last he could see of her golden hair. It was as if his feet were moving on his own as he drifted behind her. He couldn’t make out who she was talking to, but he caught some of the words.   “-Listen, I think I’ve found a guy. As long as the bike’s in working condition, I’ll be back on the train to Argus by tonight! Doesn’t that sound great?”   So she was in Mistral looking for someone, and the rest of the team was in Argus. What were they doing back in Anima though? Had Ozpin directed them there? If so, he was incredibly stupid. Going back to Argus was just as predictable as going to Vacuo. Salem would surely go after them there. At least he knew now to stay as far away from Argus as he possible.   “In Mistral?” He heard her ask as he got closer, still keeping distance to prevent her from noticing him and to keep anyone from noticing that he was following her. He had garnered some of his senses by this point, remembering that he needed to be inconspicuous. The question sounded less like an inquiry, however, and more of an effort on Yang’s end to answer whatever the person she was talking to had asked; a coverup, if Mercury had ever seen one.   Finally, he made out the voice on the other end of the call, and Mercury ducked into a nearby alley after realizing how close he was to her.   “That doesn’t look anything like when we were there before!”   Of course it was Little Red, the irritatingly hyper leader of their team and her younger sister.   “I miiiiight be in the bottom levels of the city... where Qrow told us never to go...”   He heard her sister begin to whine in protest, but Mercury was suddenly knocked to his knees from a blow to the back of his head. Stars covered his vision for a moment from the impact as his entire body was immediately on edge, sense of survival alerting him instantly to a group of people having now surrounded him. In a burst of adrenaline, Mercury whipped his body around so that he had a better angle to defend himself from. He finally shook the stars out of his eyes and faced the group above him.   On instinct, he took them all in. Five people, four men and one woman holding what appeared to be a modified falchion. A gunshot went off in his ear, but no pain registered to him. Mercury looked down to his legs, but saw no bullet hole. Instead, the bastard with the gun was just standing there, grinning down at him with the barrel raised to the sky, smoking from his warning shot.   “That’s an awful fancy pair of boots you got, sweetie,” the woman with the falchion purred. “Mind if I have a look?”   “C’mon kid!” The first man laughed when Mercury didn’t reply. “If you don’t hand everything you got over, we’ll just have to take it from ya!”   Mercury geared up into a fighting stance in response, glowering at the thugs from behind his messy gray hair.   “Pretty boy shouldn’t have anything on the bunch of us,” spoke one of the other men, who slammed his fists together. The bracelets around his wrists crackled with electric dust, but what really got Mercury was how much that pose reminded him of the girl he’d been tailing. He shook his head though, pushing her to the back of his mind. This wasn’t about her anymore. This was about his survival on the streets.   A warning shot, huh? What a group of morons.   Mercury lunged forward at the nearest adversary, a third man holding a surprisingly vanilla knife. They were just a bunch of wannabes. They couldn’t hold a candle to the real deal. The knife collided with the armor covering his bicep, and all he could do was smirk at the dumb expression on the man’s face as Mercury swept his feet out from underneath him, and then spun around and nailed him in the cheek with his other boot. As the man went flying, he turned around to face the others.   “You should’ve taken the shot and gotten the upper hand on me when you had the chance,” he mocked, lifting his leg into the air and cocking the pistol in his boot. Before he could take his own shot, a deafening, high-pitched yell echoed back from the main street and sent chills down Mercury’s spine.   A flash of gold erupted in front of his eyes, brilliant and blinding and the combination of the worst possible thing he could imagine in that moment. Her own gauntlets went off as her fist collided with the man holding the gun, sending him flying in a similar manner to what he’d done to the man with the regular knife. Mercury didn’t really know why, but he froze when he realized she’d come to help him.   “Hey, leave him alone you freaks!” Yang exclaimed, before turning her gaze toward where he stood in the middle of the group. “Are you okay ma-“ he watched her eyes grow wide, shock and fury increasing by the second as recognition fell over her. “Mercury?!”   Unsurprisingly, she had come to his assistance without knowing it was him.  He wondered if she was going to regret that punch in the long run. He sure was.   Mercury lifted his chin up in her direction, offering her the same smirk he’d given her when they reunited at Haven Academy. He wasn’t quite sure what was possessing him, but he couldn’t stop smiling.   “How’s it going, Blondie?” ~   The wind that whistled through the valley and the cries of the nightmare creatures being birthed of the pools of tar around the castle were the only noises around as Emerald entered Salem’s throne room. She disliked the palace’s grand view very much, especially since Salem had never fixed the shattered glass windows. Her hair whipped around as she stepped forward, getting down on her knees.   “You wanted to see me, your Grace?”   The witch turned around when she spoke, looking down with indifference toward her pawn. No, at this point Emerald had become at least a Rook. Cinder was the Pawn now. And the loss of one of her Knights greatly displeased Salem.   “I did, yes,” she spoke in that soft tone, the one she used when appealing to her conspirators’ needs. “I wanted to talk to you because it has come to my attention that Mercury has left. You two are rather close, aren’t you? Did he tell you where he was going?”   Emerald faltered, shifting awkwardly. “No, he didn’t say anything to me. And we aren’t that close,” she looked down toward her feet. “We worked together because we both worked for Cinder. And then, you.”   “I can tell when you lie, Emerald,” Salem sounded displeased, but not angry. “You care about him.”   “Only because he’s some of the only family I’ve had. You and Cinder are more important to me.”   “Good,” Salem’s voice came from right above her now. Emerald hadn’t even realized she had been walking closer to her. “I’m glad to hear you say that. Because I have reason to believe that our poor, dear Mercury left with the intention of running away from our cause.”   Her eyes widened at her mistress’s words. “No... no, there’s no way! There’s no way he would walk away from this!”   Emerald immediately flinched, years spent with Cinder instantly reminding her that to speak disbelief, to argue even with the older woman’s best interest in mind was inviting punishment. But Salem did nothing. When she looked up toward the witch, Salem was almost looking at her with pity.   “I’m very sorry to be the one who tells you this,” there was no sympathy in her voice though. Salem, physically, didn’t have the capacity for such a thing. “But Mercury Black has fled. He not only forfeits his place in my world and the desires I would have gifted him, but he has also forfeited his life. I will not be sending you after him, as I have more important things for you to accomplish and I feel that my Grimm will find him soon enough, but you must understand Emerald... if you were to run into him out in the world of Remnant, you are to kill him.”   There was another silent moment of horror as she took in Salem’s orders. She had worked with him, ended up trusting her back to him. He was some of the only family she’d ever had. But at the same time, the news of his abandonment burned an anger within her unlike anything she had ever felt before, even after she believed Cinder had died. When she had been doubting their allegiance, he had scorned her. Insulted her. And he’d constantly made fun of her for caring about Cinder all the while before. Now he had left her alone.   Salem was right, she realized bitterly. Mercury was either with them or dead. He didn’t get a choice any other way.   Emerald closed her eyes and bowed her head very so slightly. “Of course, your Highness.”   Salem stopped at the tone of her voice, turning around toward the young woman with a smile.   “Very good.”

[itsclydebitches]

I think you've mentioned this before but thinking more about it now, it really is a shame most of the villains are disabled so the two disabled heroes spend more time beating them up/acting as foils rather than talking about their experiences and finding solidarity. A talk between Yang and Ironwood in early V7 would've been nice, at the very least.

Agreed. Fans are right to point out that RWBY's disability rep is more complicated than a blanket "All the bad guys are disabled while none of the heroes are so that's bad" situation, but including some version of representation isn't the same way as writing that rep well. If it were, we'd all be satisfied with a Word of God announcement that dead Pilot Boi was gay, a hastily redeemed, would-be murderer of our protagonist's parents lesbian, two background queer women who disappeared, a wink from Clover before he's killed off, and the seemingly endless teasing of Blake/Yang. As the queer rep attests, sometimes including sprinkles can feel worse than getting nothing at all, simply because you understand that the writers understand that diversity is meant to be there... but they're clearly not willing to commit to it. That's how I'm feeling about RWBY's disability rep now. You would have gotten a very different response from me back in Volume 3-6, when Yang was having her arc (messy as it was in places), Ironwood was still a good guy, and Maria was poised to be Ruby's beloved, significant mentor. Yet now, many fans point to these characters without considering where they've ended up: Yang viewing her arm as "extra," Ironwood a bad guy whose villainy was visually depicted through his lost arm, Maria a useless character who was so forgotten by the narrative we never even got confirmation of whether she's alive - and not in a deliberate, cliffhanger manner. Same with Pietro. Penny's android body was stripped away and then she was murdered, again. Cinder remains as crazy-evil as she was before, rejecting that glimpse at development. Mercury has been shuffled off to Vacuo. Who are we left with in the main story? Neo? There's a reason why the fandom is unironically worried that she'll suddenly be able to speak during Volume 9.

RWBY was never blazing a trail for disability rep, but there was a point where it was doing a whole lot better than it is now. Yes, there were always problems - such as many fans' anger and discomfort over Tai's comments - but we didn't use to have a story where disability was deliberately used as a marker of evilness, where it was denied or erased in the heroes to separate them from that supposed taint, and the rest of the disabled cast was either forgotten or written out of the story. A talk between Yang and Ironwood would have been fantastic, something I expected given that he's the one who gave her the arm... but that talk would have required a version of RWBY that isn't currently treating disability as something to be ashamed of. I thought we had that story, years ago, yet Volume 8 thoroughly proved me wrong. Having Yang and Ironwood connect over their shared trauma would have necessitated an empathy for Ironwood the story outright rejected, as well as an acceptance of diversity that no longer exists. I really don't care about the allusions RWBY is supposedly following (they're not), because intention aside, Penny's arc was a complete rejection of physical difference. She "had" to become human to achieve happiness - no matter that she never expressed a desire for that, that there were other ways to save her, that she died anyway - and combined with Yang's rejection and the overt - reaffirmed by Word of God - writing that Ironwood's disability is what made him into a monster... how else are we supposed to take that collection of choices? That RWBY supports diversity? Far from it. A talk between Ironwood and Yang, oh so sadly, belongs to a version of RWBY that didn't reject diversity for uniformity and wasn't using disability as another cheap way of showing supposed evilness. This design was always meant to be something we shied away from, feared, and found distasteful. Given where RWBY has ended up, where they were planning to go all along in these last two volumes (if their comments are to be believed), I'm not at all surprised we missed out on those conversations. It's the antithesis of the message they were pushing, whether they consciously realized it or not: that difference is no longer something to celebrate.

[fallxnprxnce]

Watched Hellboy II again today, and what a wonderful movie, better than I remembered, but what a sad ending. Let's imagine that Nuala merely stabs her hands/legs enough to prevent Nuada from moving, then he is locked up and Nuala, Hellboy and his team try to reason with him. How would it go? What would happen? He did say that he needed to be killed because he wasn't going to stop, but maybe he could change his mind? Besides, he seemed to understand Hellboy's feelings of being rejected by humans.

{out of exile} Okay, first of all, thank you so much forsending this in, whoever you are. This is a great question that I could answerin 47 different ways and go in 47 different directions with. I’m not sure I’mgoing to give you the answer you want or will even like, though, because thistouches upon several unique headcanons I have for my version of Nuada. Butanyway, I will tease apart each layer of the question and of his potentialresponse and hopefully at least give you some interesting reading, even if it’snot 100% in keeping with the canon. For anyone new to this blog, you’re aboutto get a book. I… go into way more detail than anyone ever should with mymuses, whether they are canon or an OC. So strap yourself in, here we go. XD

Alright, let’s take the first part ofwhat you suggested: Nuala stabs Nuada in a nonfatal way. So, maybe she stabshis wrist to get him to drop the dagger, and/or stabs him in one or both legsso he can’t really move around so much anymore. And let’s assume that whatevershe does, while nonfatal, is enough to stop him to the point that Hellboy andthe others are able to disarm and apprehend him. The first obstacle to overcomewould be Nuada’s own emotions. You can’t just cripple (even temporarily) anancient Elven warrior and expect him to take it well. With my version of Nuada,his emotions would be as follows, in this order, over the course of the nextseveral hours; shock and betrayal that Nuala would do this to him, rage that hewas stopped in such a dishonorable fashion (with regard to standard Elvenwarrior battle etiquette, that is), and finally crushing sadness that he’s beenwounded to the point of no longer being able to fight. Okay let’s deal withthese one at a time…

Nuala’s betrayal would not be a smallthing for Nuada. He has already been betrayed by his father (first when sidingwith the humans and second when ordering his death), so now to have his sisterdo the same would be not only offensive to him but it would completelyblindside him. It would be an indicator to him (at least in his owninterpretation) that their relationship has moved from an antagonistic siblingrivalry to downright hatred. Nuada is bitter toward Nuala, he’s resentful, andhe’s hurt by her behavior, but he does not hate her. To feel that she might hatehim to the point of wanting to wound him that badly (and she knows it wouldhurt him emotionally beyond just the physical injury) would be very damaging tohis emotional health. He would want to withdraw, close himself off, and wouldprobably stop talking until he has fully processed what she did and what hethinks that means for their relationship. And the fact that she is willing toharm herself just to stop him would only add to the emotional trauma for him.That’s… a very high level of hatred in his book, and he simply does not bearNuala that level of animosity. He never thought she hated him that much, and itwould be very shocking to him.

Stopping him in this fashion (and inthe canon fashion by killing him as well) is insulting to Nuada as a warrior.Using their soul bond against him when he doesn’t see it coming and has no wayto defend himself is like bringing a gun to a knife fight. Or… blowing peanutdust in someone’s face when you know they’re allergic. It’s knowing that youhave an incredible, unfair, and decidedly personal advantage over someone andusing it against them fully knowing what it will do. It’s not just what she didthat is insulting and painful, but it’s the incredibly personal method sheused. It’s almost like she whipped out some damaging emotional secret in themiddle of battle and used it to make him falter or something, that’s how hefeels. Their bond is a very personal thing to him, and Nuada is definitely onewho values privacy and personal space. So to have the one person in the worldwho shares that personal space withyou and knows you better and more intimately than anyone else in the world doesuse that bond against you… is massively insulting.

And finally, being crippled or felledby something outside of your control is nota way a warrior wants to go down. If it’s in a fair fight, yes, good, sure.That’s what he lives for, and frankly, most of Nuada’s personal identity as anindividual is wrapped up in being a warrior. It’s not just a hobby or a job oreven an obsession… it’s his life.Crippling a warrior is like stabbing a painter in the eyes, or damaging acomposer’s ears. It’s not just disabling, but it’s disabling in a very personaland insulting way. So this, too, would weigh on Nuada emotionally. When heloses the ability to fight, he loses a great part of who he is as a person, andthat will render him emotionally unstable for a time. Both the aspect of losinga large part of his identity and feeling like it was nothing he could have eventried to defend himself against would leave him feeling very exposed andslighted in a hurtful way. I say hurtful here because this would make him moresad than angry.

Okay so we’ve dealt with where Nuada’shead would be at after Nuala stabbing him to cripple him somehow, so now let’stalk about the bit you mentioned about getting him “locked up.” This… poses a huge problem for my version of Nuada. Idon’t wanna go into a ton of detail because long,but my version of Nuada is the opposite of Nuala for a lot of reasons, which ismostly canon. But one of the ways in which he is the antithesis of her is thather emotions are very flat most of the time and she is calm, reserved,patience, and frankly unexcited in most situations, whereas he is volatile,emotional, very genuine in that he doesn’t hide how he feels, and he is very wild. I mean that in the most primal ofsenses. The way I write my Nuada, his connection to Nuala really is like a yinand yang sort of thing. They’re opposites, which means that in many cases theyare extremes of different personality traits. So Nuada isn’t just a littlerambunctious or difficult to handle because that’s just his personality, he’sactually wild, as in… almost feral. I don’t mean that he runs around naked,snarling, and drooling at the mouth, haha. I mean that he carries in his soulan inborn wildness that is an extreme of some type of energy, be it divine orjust environmental earth energy, which makes him innately have a wild soul andheart. What this means on a positive level, is that he has a lot of stamina,he’s very in tune with things like intuition and instinct, he craves thingslike running and training and physical exercise in general, and he is very wellsuited to be a warrior. But on a negative level, his wildness renders himsometimes not able to properly deal with or control his emotions, it makes himimpulsive, it makes him defensive and guarded emotionally, and it renders himthoroughly unable to deal with the feeling of being trapped, restrained, orconfined.

Locking him up, therefore,  would present a lot of problems for the BPRDif they want him to remain a stable and living prisoner, heh. Think of a feralanimal if it’s caged. What would it do? Become violent, attack the bars orwalls, maybe injure itself trying to escape, and depending upon how long theanimal with left imprisoned, it might even get upset or panicked to the pointof adverse physical health effects. All of that is true of Nuada as well, atleast the way I write him. And it’s entirely a mental thing, too. What I meanis, whether he is actually restrained with handcuffs or inside a cell, or he’sin a large warehouse and not restrained in anyway but there’s no windows ordoors to escape from, same thing to him. Perceived confinement is just as badas actual confinement. It will trigger this wildness within him into drivinghim to seek escape at all costs. It’s a rage response at first, but given timeit will boil down into panic and despair. It’s not something he can control,but rather is like a phobia that will trigger him the moment he perceives thathe is being restrained or is about to become restrained.

If the BPRD locked him up, he wouldrepeatedly attempt to escape to the point of injuring himself. That’s if he’sjust thrown in a cell or locked room or whatever. If they manage to drug him orwhatever else to get him let’s say… strapped to a gurney or something asutterly restraining as that, despair and panic would set in. He might pass outfrom not being able to get enough air or because his blood pressure wouldskyrocket. It’s not that he’s physically fragile, by any means, but just thatthe level of panic with this is so high that it has that much of an effect onhis system. If kept in that state for a prolonged amount of time, he will startto have issues with the Iron Malady.

There is also another aspect ofpersonal slight in being confined too, because Nuala knows very well that Nuadahas this response to being restrained. I would argue that, knowing how herbrother reacts to restraint, she would not permit him to be tied down orshackled or anything like that. Maybe put in a room or something, but therewould have to be some sort of counseling involved to keep him calm. But… onecould also argue that she was so irritated with him by that point that shewould not care how much he panicked, and this is a massive sore spot for Nuadain his relationship with Nuala and with his father as well. All his life, hehas been singled out, put down, mocked, and made to feel like he was a failureor disappointment because of incidents involving his wildness. Whether it wasnot being able to sit still, he habits of running off into the woods to explorefor days on end instead of being at home in court, or his reaction to gettingstuck somewhere and not being able to free himself, this is something hisfather told him he was just doing for attention and that his sister looked downupon. So it’s really a sore spot for him if Nuala allows him to be restrainedgiven how she knows he’ll react. She’s basically saying, I have no respect forthis wildness inside you, and therefore I have no respect for you.

Right, so… all of this boils down into… Nuada would have some seriousemotional traumas to overcome, in addition to just healing physically, beforehe could even being to be rehabilitated in any cerebral manner, heh. And yes,it is possible to get Nuada to listen to reason with regard to human, it hashappened several times in threads on this blog. But… it is not easy, it takes time, and there are only a fewspecific ways in which it can be done.

One way is to present him with a humanhe can’t kill, heh. If there’s even one he can’t kill, that upsets two things:his ability to give a kill order for all humans, because it would include thatone… and his concept of “the other.” “Othering” in psychology is something thatcan be done either subconsciously or deliberately by racist folk to makedegrading, dehumanizing, and/or killing people they see as different fromthemselves in an unacceptable way easier, better, more just, more righteous,whatever, in their minds. It’s a lot easier for some individuals to persecuteand/or kill people they don’t know personally, who have no names, no faces, andno perceived connection to them, than it is to kill Joe down the street they’vetalk to many times and who they know has a wife and three kids. Keeping peopleas “the others” in one’s mind keeps them separate from them and makes theprejudice and racism easier and more justified to them. Destroying the conceptof “the other” for Nuada would mean that he would start identifying with thehumans in some way or would come to know them on a personal level that heunderstands even though it’s not him. Accomplishing that really throws a wrenchin his plans to kill all humans, because they stop being “the enemy” and startbecoming just “people,” not unlike this own.

But what kind of human could he notkill? Hand him a baby. I’m serious. Or like… even a two year-old. He could notkill a human little one. He just can’t. It’s small, it’s weak, it’s innocent,it has no clue what’s going on, and gods help him if it smiles at him, hahaha.He knows that babies, toddlers, etc. have little to no understanding of thegreater world or of any of the complex concepts with which he’s so angry aboutwith their larger adult counterparts. He can’t blame them… the way he can the adults, at least in his mind. Heknows this, too, which is why he avoids babies like the plague, heh. He reallydidn’t even want to look at the one Hellboy saved during the encounter with theforest god. Nuada just assumed somebody saved it, whatever, he doesn’t care atall. (He cares. XD) So if the BPRD really wanted to try to rehabilitate Nuada,hand him a baby, heh. I realize they would not trust him with one, but I’m justsaying, nothing would put a crack in his resolve more than that. Maybe onecould hold a baby a safe distance away and they just talk a while about howcute it is, how it doesn’t understand, how he’d want to kill its parents andtake them away, all that stuff. Believe me, after a while, all of that wouldweigh very heavily on his conscience. Because Nuada is not inherently evil.He’s taken a noble cause and been changed so much by anger and sadness that hissolution to it is extreme and evil. There’s a difference between that andsomeone who wants to kill all humans because it brings him pleasure. Nuadawould get no pleasure from killing humans, he’s just trying to stop them fromdestroying the earth and killing his own people. He sees it as a kill or bekilled scenario, and that is easy for him to do because of this “othering”thing he’s doing with the humans. The BPRD would have to get him to stopthinking of humans and elves as them and us, respectively. They would have toget him to identify with humans and feelsomething for them… and showing him a cute little baby where he can’t get awayfrom it is a good way to start, haha.

The only other type of human as far asadults that he would not be able to kill is one he falls in love with, or onewith Elven blood. Present him with someone of mixed blood and you mess up hiswhole deal. Or present him with someone he doesn’t know is human or thatcircumstances bring him closer to and he falls in love with them? Ugh, he’s soscrewed. Because again, they’re not a nameless, faceless enemy anymore, they’resomeone he loves. This is how he’s been truly changed in most of the threads onthis blog in which he was diverted from his plans. So… maybe if the BPRD had ahalf-elf on their side (which has happened in threads) or if they can get someinvestigator to become friends with him or anything like that, again it breaksdown this concept of “the other” in his mind, and the walls between “them” and“us” begin to dissolve. Once that happens, he cannot continue on with his plan.

Also it is important to note that Iheadcanon that Nuada has tried many times over the centuries to reach out tohumans, either to explain to them the error of their ways or to offer themsolutions and guidance, and each time he rejected, denied, mocked, attacked,etc. So… another way the BPRD could approach convincing Nuada to listen to themis to say look… yeah, humans have been ignorant assholes in the past andthere’s stil a lot of ignorant assholes left today, but those numbers aredecreasing. Today in the world, there are far more conscientious humansinteresting in the environment, next-gen agriculture, science, greentechnology, and sustainable living practices. Nuada doesn’t realize this, andif they took the time to educate him on it and actually got him to honestlylisten to what they were saying, he would realize that the world is differentnow than it was centuries ago. Nuada perceives humans as stagnant. Ignore then,ignorant now, will always be ignorant, heh. He doesn’t see the way in whichsociety has been slowly changing for the better because he’s not living in it. 

Especially after we went into exile, he didn’t just stay away from elves, heavoided humans as well. So he has no concept of what’s being done by humans nowto correct the mistakes of the past or prevent/alleviate them in the future.It’d be difficult to get him to sit still long enough, haha, but if they canget a few humans to give presentations about green technology, hydroponicagriculture, recycling, better waste management practices, reductions in carbonemissions and a general decrease in the usage worldwide of fossil fuels likecoal… I think his mind would be blown, heh. Then once they have him interested,involve him in it. That’s huge withhim, because Balor and Nuala were very exclusionist when it came to Nuada. Ifthe BPRD presents all these things to him, and then says dude… you could helpguide these people toward what needs to be done the most. Let them know whatelves need because we don’t know. Tell it from your point of view and lend usyour expertise. Together we’d be stronger. I think offering to actively includehim would definitely be enticing to him.

Okay, I think I rambled enough. I hopethat answered most of your question, but if you have any follow-ups (or anyoneelse, for that matter), feel free to ask! =)