#ya know i drew this for its birthday but it flopped

[haoqw]

i’d end my days with you in a hail of bullets.

[vannahfanfics]

Stereo Hearts

Category: Romantic Fluff

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Characters: Denki Kaminari, Kyoka Jiro

Hello, everyone! It is my pleasure to present my story for the @kmjr-mini-bang! A super big thanks to my partner @chiztec​ who drew an absolutely stunning piece to accompany my story, as well as Amii and nish, who were kind enough to beta my story. I hope you all enjoy the finished product! 

Denki sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that night. He laid on his bed, thumbs twiddling as his hands were clasped over his stomach. His worried gaze could have bored holes into the ceiling if he had the right Quirk. He felt a little silly, fretting so relentlessly over something as simple as a high school graduation. For most students, it was a time of excitement, a chapter of transition in their lives as they went bungling on into adulthood. Denki was eagerly looking forward to getting out there and showing the world what Chargebolt could do. Adulthood wasn’t exactly what he was worried about. 

He hadn’t told Kyoka that he loved her yet. 

“Jeez, that sounds right out of some corny chick flick,” he groaned and rubbed his palms over his eyes. He grimaced as nervous sweat smeared across his face. He flopped his arms back down against the bed with another forlorn exhale, eyes lidded as he envisioned the beautiful, talented girl he’d fallen head-over-heels for their first year. Everything had seemed to get in the way of professing his feelings for her, and also, he felt a little… unworthy. He was a great big massive dork, not nearly cool enough to even be seen with someone as pretty and sophisticated as Kyoka. 

He’d probably short-circuit and go into “yay” mode when tried to confess to her. 

Groaning, he rolled onto his side to grab his phone off the charger. It wasn’t like he was sleeping anyway. As he unlocked it, his thumb came to rest over the screen, and his golden eyes stared at the time burning in white numbers in the center of the display. The time was inching closer to midnight. Soon, it would officially be the day of his graduation. The realization sent a sinking feeling spiraling into the pit of his stomach. 

He was running out of time. Everyone made well-intentioned promises to keep in touch after high school, but everyone knew that almost never panned out. You went on, to college or to a career, you got insanely busy, and next thing you know you haven’t talked to anyone you know in years and made new friendships. Denki swallowed thickly, mindlessly bringing up his favorite picture of Kyoka in his gallery. She was smiling brightly, so hard her eyes were scrunched up into little half-moons. She’d made that face for Denki when he’d surprised her for her birthday with an expensive album she’d been eyeing since its release. When she’d smiled at him like that, he’d almost electrocuted everyone in the room because he’d been so damn in love. 

He was still so damn in love. 

He pulled up Kyoka’s contact information. His fingers hovered over the keyboard. Would she even be awake right now? He wondered with a tiny sigh. Probably not. It was the middle of the night. Still, he found himself texting out a message.

Hey, are you awake? 

He rolled back over and set the phone down on his chest to stare up at the ceiling again. He fully expected his message to go unanswered, so he began losing himself in the confusing stream of “what ifs” and regretting every moment he never chose to tell Kyoka how he felt. He was so lost in thought that he nearly jumped out of his skin when the message alert rang through his quiet bedroom. He fumbled with his sweaty hands to pull up Kyoka’s response. 

Yeah, I’m awake. What’s up? 

A sappy smile bloomed on his lips, and he rolled over, snuggling into his mattress while typing out his reply. 

Just thinking. What about you? 

Three dots popped up on the message screen, quickly followed by a simple, Same. 

Denki ruminated on his thoughts for a moment, thumb hovering over the keyboard. He didn’t even really know what he wanted to say, or what he wanted to do. He wasn’t enough of an ass to confess to Kyoka over text, no… It had to be more special than that, something that she was deserving of. 

A cheesy grin slowly appeared on his face as he recounted a conversation he’d overheard—  Kyoka talking to Mina about her favorite romance movie tropes. Believe it or not, Kyoka secretly adored them and often requested them for the girls’ movie nights. He’d always stored that information in the back of his mind, just in case it would ever become useful… 

Yeah… he thought deviously. He threw off his covers and scrambled over to his closet to throw on something halfway-decent. He couldn’t profess his undying love in a pair of All Might pajama pants, after all. He inspected himself in the mirror after wiggling into a pair of skinny jeans and a band tee-shirt that Kyoka had bought for his last birthday. He licked the palm of his hand to slick down the flyaways in his blond hair, turned his face left and right, and then gave his reflection finger-guns. 

“You got this. You’re a stud. Ladies love ya!” He grinned encouragingly. He held the expression until his face hurt, trying to will the confidence into existence. Then, he flopped his arms and hung his head in defeat. “She’s probably gonna laugh,” he snorted. “But,” he added, peeking through his bangs at the mirror. “I still gotta try!” 

Before his courage could fail him, Denki snatched up the vintage stereo sitting on his desk— another birthday present from Kyoka— and scurried out of the room, hopping on one foot down the hall trying to slip on his Converse. He slowly tip-toed past Tenya’s dorm clutching his stereo to his chest; their class representative had a nose for trouble, especially Denki’s shenanigans, and had caught the blond many a night trying to sneak away and get up to no good. It seemed that luck was on Denki’s side this evening, as he made it to the stairwell without inciting a peep for the tall bespectacled boy’s room. He breathed a sigh of relief and gathered himself for a moment before proceeding downstairs. 

He treaded carefully, having long since memorized the creaky spots in the wood in his many misadventures. The tip of his tongue peeked out of his lips as he used the sparse moonlight to guide his steps down to the first floor. It was slow going, but the even best-laid plans were ruined by haste. He could feel his cell phone vibrating in his back pocket, probably Kyoka wondering why he suddenly stopped texting her. 

All in due time, my dear Kyoka! <3

When Denki reached the first-floor landing, he cautiously peered out into the gloom. It wouldn’t be the first time he surprised another student who had fallen asleep in the lounge, or worse, Mr. Aizawa, who had relocated to the common room to stay up late grading assignments. Thankfully, Lady Luck was generous and granted him passage through his second trial; the lounge was empty. 

Denki stole away through the darkness, like a thief in the night, to the back door. He grimaced as it creaked loudly and looked over his shoulder. After an agonizing half-minute of silence, no one emerged from the dark to scold him, so he elected that the coast was clear. He slipped outside, and the warm wind immediately enveloped him, clouding him with a cologne of night-blooming flowers and dew. He stared out into the side alley, the concrete path that led him to the space just beneath Kyoka’s balcony— and began to doubt. 

I’m really going out on a limb here, he gulped and clutched the stereo to his chest until the metal creaked. His absolute worst nightmare wasn’t Kyoka rejecting him… but laughing at him. He tried to tell himself that Kyoka would never do something so callous, but he worried all the same. It was such a frightening thing, putting yourself out there. The mind tried to worm its way out of it whenever possible. 

But it’s now or never! Even if she laughs at me… If I don’t do this now, I’ll regret not doing it for the rest of my life! 

Denki was going to go out on this limb, even if it broke underneath him and he plummeted headlong into bitter heartbreak. He could always put himself back together again. Resolute, he tromped down the small alleyway to the rows of balconies jutting out from the dorm. 

He counted under his breath until he found Kyoka’s sliding glass doors and fluttering curtains. He set the stereo down by his feet and finally pulled out his phone to discover a series of confused messages from Kyoka. 

Hello? You text me first, and then don’t answer me? What’s up with that? 

He smiled, sensing that playful bite in her tone that he’d fallen head-over-heels in love with. 

Come out onto your balcony, he answered. Before he could stow his cellphone, it buzzed with a quick reply. 

What? Why? 

Just do it! He insisted in mild panic. He’d failed to consider that Kyoka would just tell him to shove off and go to bed. As nervous sweat condensed on his forehead, he heard the faint click of the door. He jerked in shock, inadvertently dropping his phone face-down on the concrete. He cringed, already imagining the crack spiderwebbing across the glass screen.

“Denki?” he heard Kyoka call suspiciously as he ducked down to hit the power button on the stereo. It automatically started up a CD of Kyoka’s favorite songs that he’d burned on the off-chance that he would need it. Just as she came to the edge of the balcony, he straightened up and swept his hand through his hair, smiling bashfully. Her eyes widened, refracting the moonlight as her ears drank in the pretty tune streaming from the stereo’s large speakers. “Denki?” she repeated perplexedly. “What are you doing?” 

He nudged down the volume with his toe while a blush rose to his cheeks. 

“Look, I know this is corny as hell, and you probably don’t appreciate being called out at three in the morning, but I’m kinda desperate here,” he admitted, nervously rubbing at the back of his neck and chuckling. “You know how I told you I was thinking? I was thinking about you. How your smile lights up my whole life, and when you sing it sounds like an angel walking this Earth, and how damn lucky I feel to have shared these last three years with you. How cute you are when you laugh, and gush about romance movies when you think nobody notices, and how badass you are that it leaves me breathless.” 

As he rambled on and on about everything he absolutely adored about her, Kyoka’s face glowed like a pink opal in the moonlight and her wide eyes glimmered like gems. By this time, the noise had attracted the other girls from their dorm rooms, and they sleepily peered out at Denki pouring out his heart and soul to their startled classmate. His cheeks darkened with embarrassment, but he’d already said so much; there was no going back now. 

“I was thinking about how stupidly in love I am with you, and how if I don’t tell you now that I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. So I love you, Kyoka, and I’d be really stoked if you’d go out with me.” 

A ripple of gasps rang out from the girls’ mouths, and they all looked expectantly at Kyoka. The girl gulped audibly and pawed at her dark hair, which was sticking up in odd places and tousled with sleep. Her earjacks nervously writhed above her shoulders and her eyes cast down as she considered Denki’s confession. All the while, he stood there holding his breath, waiting and listening to the love song serenade the silence. 

He was beginning to feel a bit faint and like he was going to start sparking when her eyes finally flickered up to meet his own. 

“I’d be really stoked to go out with you, too.” 

The girls erupted into cheers and squeals, jumping up and down while clapping their hands. Kyoka blushed under their ecstatic congratulations. Their whoops and hollers attracted the boys from across their halls, meandering out onto the girls’ balconies to investigate what all the fuss was about. Denki shrunk under all the attention, twiddling his fingers and turning as red as a tomato. 

“Aw, congratulations, you two!” Izuku called with a big smile. 

“It’s about damn time,” Katsuki grumped from beside Eijirou and Ochako. “I was getting sick and damn tired about him mooning over her like a lovesick sap.” 

“Hey, bro! Don’t you have a nicer way to say congrats?” the redhead scolded, making Katsuki snarl. 

“Denki Kaminari!” came the expected chastising. Denki flinched and grinned apologetically at Tenya, who was gestating emphatically on Tooru’s balcony with his nightcap flapping. “What is the meaning of this? I understand the romanticism, but it is the eve of our graduation ceremony! It is imperative that we be rested to do justice to our prestigious institution, not straggle in like zombies! Have you no sense of decorum?” 

“Oh, can it, class rep,” Mina chided. Tenya leaned down over the balcony railing with an affronted gasp. The pink girl’s smile was wide as she winked at Denki. “So, stud. Are you gonna just stand there, or are you gonna come give your new girlfriend a kiss?” 

“Mina!” Kyoka hissed, turning her head so hard and fast that Denki swore he heard her bones snap. Denki jumped, stuttering nonsensities, and dipped down to retrieve his stereo. It was still blaring as he sprinted back into the dorm and up the stairs. Kyoka was standing in her doorway as he came barreling up the steps, tripping over the laces of his Converse and nearly plowing headfirst into the wall. The rest of the students watched with bated breath, crowding in the other doorways and on the steps behind him. 

“Hey, Kyoka,” Denki swallowed, holding the stereo to his chest as he timidly approached her. His breaths came in ragged gasps from his rapid staircase sprint, and a sheen of sweat stuck his hair to his forehead. He doubted that he looked the picture of handsome— but Kyoka still smiled coyly as he approached, tucking her hair behind her ears and staring at him like he was her knight in shining armor. His golden eyes never left hers as he set the stereo on the floor and rubbed his palms on the denim fabric of his jeans.

“Hey, Denki,” she smiled shyly. His heart fluttered just at the sweet sound of her voice, and he swore he fell in love all over again in that moment. His body moved instinctively as his mind was ensnared by her unconscious charm, stepping close to her and using his index finger to slowly tip up her chin. He sucked in a breath, enchanted by her shy little gaze and slightly parted lips. 

“You’re so beautiful.” 

“Just kiss her already, you asshole, I’m tired!” Katsuki yelled from down the hall, making both of them jump. He heard Eijirou scold him under his breath and elbow him in the ribs, making Katsuki unleash a string of unflattering curses. After the fiery blond’s grumbles had died down, Denki smiled bashfully at the pink-cheeked Kyoka. She fluttered her eyelashes demurely, then flickered her gaze down to his lips. 

Well, if he was waiting for an invitation, that damn sure was it. 

Without further ado, Denki leaned in to gently capture her in a sweet kiss. His heart sung as she hummed slightly, making his hair stand on end. He almost wondered if he’d strayed into a dream, that his fantastical whimsies had come to fruition only in his subconscious. However, when he pulled back and opened his eyes, he knew he was awake. He could never dream the way she looked at him then, with such utter adoration that it made his heart ache. 

“All right. Show’s over,” Katsuki grumbled, skulking off toward his room. Denki rolled his eyes but leaned down to finally switch off the stereo. When he straightened back up, their classmates had retreated into their rooms— leaving them alone. Kyoka shyly swung from side-to-side, hugging herself with a sheepish grin. 

“That was pretty smooth,” she admitted. 

“Really?” he asked excitedly. Her cheeks darkened a shade of pink, and then she nodded. Denki suppressed the wild urge to embarrass himself with a happy jig. Kyoka would probably find it charming, but he wanted to hang on to some sense of decorum, as Tenya had put it. After several minutes of staring adoringly at one another, Denki finally drawled dreamily, “Well… We should probably get back to bed… Tenya’ll be mad if we’re tired at the ceremony tomorrow.” 

“Yeah,” she said, sounding just as enthused about ending the moment as he was. Neither of them moved for several seconds. “You should go, Denki,” she reminded him, finally prompting his sluggish body to move. He scooped up his stereo, never breaking eye contact, before rising to clutch it to his chest. “I’ll see you later,” she reassured him with a light laugh, before retreating into her room. She didn’t close the door, just gazed at him like he’d hung the moon in the sky— and he would, for her. 

“Yeah,” he said as he began backing away towards the end of the hall. When she finally shut the door, he risked his happy dance, jitterbugging back to his room. Just as he flopped onto his bed, his phone buzzed. He pulled it out with furrowed brows, and then broke into a stupid smile. 

I’m looking forward to our date. 

His thumbs flew across the screen to type up a reply as he rolled on his side and snuggled into bed. 

Me too. Goodnight, Kyoka. 

She must have drifted off, because there was no reply. That was all right. After a minute of goofily admiring her contact picture, he finally put his phone on the charger and settled into bed. Sleep took him easily this time, gifting him dreams of what was to come.

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

[shatteredrabbit]

Some backstory stuff for Rabbit from the @ fazbear-ent-official rp!

Side note: The whole first person thing is mainly for the FazEnt roleplayers-

TW: verbal abuse, yelling

"So...what's your story?"

“My story? Really?”

You nod, staring down at the parking lot below the two of you.

“Why is there even a ladder up to the roof back here?” You think to yourself shortly after taking a garbage bag out to the dumpster in the back. Just towards the nearby alley way is a rusted ladder leading to the pizzeria’s rooftop. Out of sheer curiosity, you climb up, the metal squeaking under your weight.

Then you see her, Rabbit. You’ve never truly gotten a good look at her, since she’s typically cooped up in the kitchen. Now that you do see her, or at least her back, it does occur to you how tiny she really is. You always knew she was short, but on top of that she seems so thin. She wears that baggy jacket all day, but now that it’s tied around her waist and you can actually see her slim-fit uniform. She’s like a twig.

“What are you doing up here?” She suddenly spoke. You didn’t think she was aware of your presence.

“I could ask you the same thing,” You answer plainly.

“I just like it up here. And it’s a great place to watch the sunset, ya know?” Rabbit looked over her shoulder at you, the bunny ears on her beanie flopping along with her movement.

“Come. Sit with me.” She pats the space next to her, inviting you to join her. You walk over, shoes clopping against the roof. In a matter of moments, you’re sitting next to her, feet dangling over the edge of the building.

“So...what’s your story?” You ask after a few minutes of silence.

“My story, huh? It’s a long one, that’s for sure.”

“I have time.”

“If you insist…” Rabbit sighs, gazing out across the city, “But it’s not really a story… More like, several little ones. Moments that had a lot of impact on me, even ones that seem so...mundane.”

[May 5th, 2010]

“Momma! Momma! Look what I drew for you!!” Four-year-old Kaya excitedly held up a messily drawn picture of the family.

“That’s nice, Kaya.” her mother answered apathetically, eyes fixed on the television.

“But you didn’t even look at it!”

“I’m busy right now.”

“It’ll only take a second!” Kaya held it higher, standing on her toes to do so.

“Pretty please!” Kaya whined after there was no answer.

“Momma, look at it!!” Kaya stood in front of the TV, insisting her mother pay attention.

In one swift motion, her mother grabbed the drawing and tore it apart. She tossed the crumbled and tattered remains on the floor before pushing Kaya aside.

“B-but-!” Kaya’s eyes began to water.

“I’m. Busy.” Her mother hissed.

Kaya got back on her feet. She stared at her mother in horror, then down to her ruined drawing. She picked up what was left of it and raced back to her room, choking on her own tears.

[June 23, 2014]

“Happy birthday to me… Happy birthday to me… Happy birthday dear Kaya… Happy birthday to me…” Kaya sang half-heartedly. She was nine now, but it wasn’t anything special. Birthdays never were special.

She blew out the flame of the match she held. It was no cake, or cupcake for that matter, but it was something. Something to just prove she’d lived another year. She took a permanent marker and wrote “9” on the small space that was the wooden section of the match. She stored the match in an empty altoids container right next to the match from last year.

Thump thump thump!

“Come in.” Kaya sighed, putting the container in the top drawer of her nightstand and closing it.

“Hey shortstack,” her dad opened the door and poked his head in, “have you seen my lighter? I need a smoke but I can’t find it anywhere.”

“Sorry, no.”

“Damn. I keep losing those things.” He huffed and left, closing the door behind him.

“No clue why…” Kaya murmured to herself as she turned her attention to a solid grey pencil box sitting on her dresser.

That’s where she hid the lighters.

[November 26, 2018]

She gripped the thread in her teeth and tugged on it to tighten the stitching. She grabbed the two big green buttons sitting on her desk and positioned them on the yellow fabric. It was almost complete.

A few more stitches and it was all done. She held up the beanie, the pale yellow rabbit ears limply dangling at its sides. The green button eyes stared at her, accented by the rosy pink cheeks. She tugged the beanie over her messy brown hair and turned her attention to the mirror.

This. This felt right. This felt like her.

Rabbit.

[March 22nd, 2021]

“When are you going to get a job, you lazy little leech?” Her mother growled just as Rabbit stepped foot outside her bedroom. Rabbit clenched her fists and tried to walk past.

“If you don’t get a job this week you’re out of here!” Her mother blocked her path to the front door.

“I already have an interview, so shut the fuck up!!” Rabbit snapped, shoving past her mother and managing to get out the front door. Her mother lurched forwards to grab her by the hood of her coat, but missed. Without a second thought, Rabbit hopped on her scooter and raced down the sidewalk.

“I’m not missing another interview because of that fat ugly bitch!!” Rabbit cussed as she sped up, tears starting to form at the corners of her eyes. Luckily the place she applied to wasn’t too far from home...but that was also problematic. What if her parents just showed up to work unannounced? What would her boss think of their behavior?? Could they get her fired???

It wasn’t until someone shouted in surprise that Rabbit was brought out of her thoughts and into reality. She swerved and skidded to a halt, just inches away from hitting someone.

“Oh my gods, I’m so sorry!!” Rabbit apologized profusely, “I wasn’t looking cause I was so worried I’d be late to my interview and-”

“It’s quite alright Miss Mayanna, I actually came out here to keep an eye out for you. Let’s get that interview done, shall we?” A man with icy blue eyes smiled crookedly at her.

He pushed the front doors open, releasing a wave of cheap pizza smell, “Welcome to Freddy’s, Miss Mayanna.”

[mwub]

Hmmm, thought I had posted this but evidently I didn’t, it was supposed to be a multichapter but I couldn't figure out how to continue it.

Toward Tomorrow

”Hey Lucy, what do I look like?” Came to a playful snicker from Lucy’s now open window as a young man with vibrant spiked pink hair that seemed like it hadn’t met a hairbrush in weeks pulled himself into the windowsill. Although the guild liked to joke otherwise, Natsu was quite handsome, not classically like Gray or princely like Loke but he held a certain spark that drew one's eye.

“What do you mean?” Lucy absently hummed as she sorted through clothes, holding up a powder blue sweater with an inquisitive look before tossing the sweater to the side with a derisive shrug.

“I mean, what do I look like?” Natsu responded with a slightly impatient edge to his naturally husky voice. At his tone, Lucy glanced his way to take his appearance in. The sunlight seemed to dance on his hair in knots and waves, one moment a soothing salmon color the next a bright Sakura pink, almost as if it couldn’t decide what color it wanted to be and changes from moment to moment. Oddly enough it perfectly suited his tan skin and his sharp dark olive green eyes that often sparkled with mischief. The mischief that wasn’t absent now as Natsu rocked back on his heels in order to gain a more comfortable balance on the window, a bright fanged smirk gently pulling on his lips as he studied the blonde.

Lucy was supposed to be packing for the 100-year quest that Natsu claimed they were going on, they just were now awaiting Makarov’s permission to do so which they surely would receive. Of course, Lucy was taking forever to pack, choosing each outfit carefully despite knowing it probably wouldn’t matter anyway when it came down to a fight. Natsu thought she looked beautiful always, even though he wouldn’t say it aloud with her in earshot, the only one he had openly admitted his feelings to was Happy and he was tied and bound in secrecy under the threat of no fish for a month.

Lucy looked especially beautiful to him right now, a millennial pink knit sweater suited her pearly skin, bringing out a natural blush under her skin that’s not ordinarily seen unless you were looking for it. Her hair was tied back in a curled ponytail with a simple white ribbon and white ruffled skirt that ended mid-thigh accentuated her legs that seemed to go on for days before ending in a pair of delicate sandals. Natsu felt a warm glow of pride when he saw a pair of gold flash from Lucy’s ears as she bent to scrutinize a pair of dark jeans. A pair of red ruby eyes glared back at him in the form of two small dragon shaped dangly earrings, they were a gift for Lucy’s birthday a month before and it amused Natsu to no end to see her wear them so often.

Natsu knew he didn’t own Lucy, that he had no claim over her, she was her own person and couldn’t possibly ever be owned. But the fact that he had managed to give her a that she appreciated so much gave him a warm feeling in his heart.

Lucy quirked her eyebrow as she saw his eyes falter and glaze over slightly as he asked that question again, “Like the same Natsu I’ve always known, am I supposed to notice something different today,” Placing a hand on her hip, smoothing down her skirt, “did you get new clothes, cause most of them look the same to me.”

“No… nevermind,” Natsu grumbled, breaking his gaze before flopping forward onto his back, landing with a soft thud on Lucy’s pink comforter before grabbing her pillow and burying his face from view. “Just hurry up already, we are leaving in a few days, we don’t know when we’ll be back so you’ll need you’re more travel-ready clothes anyway. I don’t see why ya wanna pack those daggers you call heels.”

“I know that I still think we should go on one more job before we leave, the more rent money I give to my landlady ahead of time the longer I can help you guys finish whatever this quest is. It doesn’t have to be a big one, just another months worth of rent should be enough.” Lucy finished with a pleading look, her pink lip poking ever so slightly out in an adorable pout.

“...Alright fine, we’ll take that one job in Hakobe forest clearing out some were-rabbits. Shouldn’t be too dangerous as long as we catch them by surprise.” Natsu reluctantly agreed finally, “Pays 200,000 Jewel, that sound like enough to you, we’ll stay two days and be back in 4 days.”

“Thank you! You’re the best, a little extra cash never hurt anybody right?” Squealed the excited blonde as she rushed over and squeezed him into a tight hug, Natsu struggling to hide a slight blush as he was painfully aware of how soft her rather large bust was pressed against his own toned muscles. How she didn’t notice how tight her sweater was he didn’t know but he wasn’t gonna complain if it meant he got the occasional sneak peek that other the other guys in the guild drooled after. Just because he respected her as a person doesn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate her gorgeous looks and all its assets.

“I’ll be here tomorrow morning to pick you up and we can walk there.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN WALK THERE, IT’LL TAKE TWICE AS LONG TO WALK THERE AND BACK!”

“Fine, walk there and train back, unless you want me to have my insides become outsides the entire trip.” Natsu quipped slyly, knowing he won by the way the girl in front of his eye twitched at the prospect of playing nurse the entire trip.

“Fine.”

~~~~~~

“You complain about wasted time and yet you insist we stop at a Hot Spring.”

“Give it a rest Natsu, it was a great deal, two nights and three days for the price of one and there’s a to die for Sauna along with a open bar.” The blond finished with a prideful smirk.

“It’s only a great deal cause they are closing it to be renovated soon and desperately need customers. Probably no one there except a few stragglers and old people” Natsu said dismissively, shuddering slightly at the thought of seeing old crotchety men fight over sauna rights.

Would there be unisex saunas and baths? I hope so, these types of things are better with Luce’s company anyway. Natsu thought, getting slightly excited at the idea of teasing Lucy again for being so embarrassed wearing such a small towel. She was so weird sometimes, at least Happy was staying with Wendy and Carla, the idea of Happy teasing Lucy into a rage was not a pleasing thought even if Happy was his best friend.

“We’re here”

Before them stood the Gin No Taki hot springs, a rather large old Edo-era style building several stories tall with gorgeous paned windows reflecting like mirrors silhouetted by overarching maple trees, their leaves beginning to shift color from green to red in some places, leaves rustling with the gentle breeze and the buzz of nearby cicadas harmonizing with the distant trickling sound of running water. It looked heavenly.

“Let’s go inside!” Lucy squeaked in excitement, grabbing Natsu’s hand and dragging him along in her wake.

After being greeted by the staff and selecting a room, being fitted into their respective yukatas, they finally settled down for a late lunch consisting of a wide variety of local fish and vegetarian delicacies. Not enough protein for Natsu’s taste but it would whatever it takes to keep the tank full.

After choosing a piece of grilled fish with a side of steamed rice and pickled plums, Natsu couldn’t help glancing at the woman beside him. His jaw slightly going slack at the vision before him, a almost shimmering periwinkle robe hugged her curves, accentuating every crevice. Clouds and cranes dances across the fabric, almost luring him into finding out where they lead, where the clouds and birds chase on the river's breeze adorning the blonds skin. Her hair was pinned into a loosely braided bun held together with a set of pins adorned with silver crescent moon and stars, her hair almost seemed to shimmer pure gold in the afternoon light.

Being caught in a daze Natsu didn't immediately catch what Lucy said until she repeated herself with a slight laugh.

“You look nice Natsu” She giggled, hiding her smile behind her hands in amusement, having noticed his ogling a moment before.

“Thanks” Replied Natsu stupidly, staring down at his own chest. His was a lot more barbaric than hers, black with fire breathing dragons spiraling across it, he felt a certain pride while wearing it as the mere decorations injected him a with a new boldness he didn’t know he needed before. Interesting.

“Have you checked out the saunas yet, I heard there's a communal one… if you want to join me? I-I mean you don’t have to, just don't want to be separated from my partner is all haha” Lucy finished nervously letting loose a shaky chuckle, unconsciously nudging the shoulder of her robe off, displaying more lush cleavage.

Gulping and trying to hide his own blush, Natsu replied as nonchalantly as possible so as to avoid suspicion, “ Yeah, I’ve seen it, we can go if you want, doesn’t really matter to me” Yes it does “ And probably shouldn’t be apart for too long in case something happens to ya”

“Y-Yeah, well, my back is feeling a little stiff carrying that backpack all day, let’s meet there in an hour, ‘kay?

“Fine”

~~~~~~

“You’ve got to be kidding me”

The sauna was packed with at least half the members of SaberTooth. Apparently, Sting had thought it would be a good idea to have a guild-wide excursion to this exact hot spring to celebrate a recent unspecified victory of theirs. Which meant there was almost no room in the damn sauna, not with everyone filling it to the brim. Lucy’s eyes searched over the crowd of heads spying a pink head conversing loudly with Sting.

Picking through the crowd, squeezing her way past a gossiping Minerva, Lucy finally made her way over to Natsu, only come to find out it was just as crowded. Natsu put the man in man-spreading, Mavis does he have no shame? Sting was no better, if not worse.

“Lucy, It’s been a while, how you been? Come sit with us” Called Sting, beckoning her over, oblivious to the seating situation.

“ Yeah come sit” Natsu joined in, ignoring her indignant sputtering; “ I was just telling him about that time we went Celestial spirits realm thing. It was wild man, even if they are so weird. I’ll never understand how Lucy deals with them.”

“Maybe cause they listen when I’m talking to them, if you haven’t noticed there’s nowhere for me to sit peabrain.” Lucy groaned in exasperation.

“Yes there is, right here” Natsu smirked, smacking his thigh, “If ya wanted a seat you should’ve just asked.”

“No way, I’ll just wait until someone moves”

“Suit yourself” Chirped Natsu, eyes glimmering with amusement at the flustered girl. “By the way, met someone on the way in here. Apparently, they had the same idea on going to a cheap hot spring”

“Aye sir!” Came a high pitched voice, “Carla said she wanted to take a bath, kinda weird for a cat to want that but whatever she wants I guess.”

A familiar blue cat came floating lazily into view only to stop to sit on the bench next to Natsu’s right leg, “You’re all sweaty Lushi”.

“Uh, that’s the point dummy.”

“NATSU, LUCY IS BEING MEAN AGAIN.”

“AM NOT!”

Natsu could only double over in laughter as his Nakama argued over what the point of a sauna was. That amusement only doubled as Lucy, who had not been paying attention to her surroundings, was bumped from behind and toppled over.

Well, almost toppled over, if it weren’t for the fact that Natsu caught her just in time, pulling her firmly into his lap between his spread legs. A rosy blush soon bloomed across the girls pretty cheeks in a heated flush, quickly becoming aware of the precariousness of the situation she has now found herself in.

Natsu’s warmed calloused hand spanned across her flat stomach, fingertips peeking just under her thin white towel and ever so slightly squeezing the underside of her full breasts under his firm grip, holding her close to him.

Heart racing at this sudden action, Lucy couldn’t help but glance at the man for only to find that he was now engaged in a rather one-sided conversation with Rogue, who seemed rather disinterested sauna as a whole.

Relaxing slightly, Lucy leaned back into his well-toned chest, feeling the ripple and flex of his pectorals and abs after each laugh, after each breath. Lucy took note of the water and steam collecting in the laugh lines of his face and dusted his hair like diamonds. He was exquisite, he was exotic, he was might she dare say enticing. He looked like a god.

Feeling a bit bolder, she pressed even firmer back against him, wiggling her butt to fit more snugly against his shoulder and lean her head on his collarbone. Only to stop when she felt him stiffen slightly at the motion and relax again.

Lip quirking slightly, Lucy repeated the motion again, a bit firmer this time. Making sure to push the softness of her rear to the apex of his thighs, daring him to respond. And he did.

Fingers tightened around her waist, slipping even farther under the fold of her towel. A low, rough growl rumbled from the chest next to her ear, exciting her, and challenging a deeper part of herself.

“What do you think you are doing”

~~~~~~~

If you guys think I should rewrite and continue the next 2 chapters let me know, I had written a second one but I didn't like how it turned out😅

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

I have all the questions for you, and excuse me if I’m being dense but... what are the fostered books about? I’m not asking for spoilers, but I’m Intrigued to know the general details of it! Again apologies if you’ve covered this I’m new here hello

Hellooooo Anon, welcome to this blog, happy to have you here. :) This is actually an excellent question because, while I talk about this series a lot on here, and they’ve made up five out of the eight books I’ve written, I’ve somehow managed to not actually give much information on what they’re about. lol. So thank you for reminding me to actually talk about these books and their general plot! I know you asked for general details, but since I’ve never really given much of a detailed answer for this question, I’m going to use this post as a reference point for the future!

So… The FOSTERED books are sort of this strange amalgamation of all the things I’ve enjoyed since I started the series when I was 13, ‘til now, at age 16. Some general shtuff about the series:

- I pants all the books

- All the book titles start with the first letter of every major character’s name (because 13 year old me thought this was very cool)

- Though it’s a large series, it’s got a relatively small cast

- I am not seeking publication for this series, so I mean, if you have spoilery questions, don’t really mind answering those because this series, nor it’s characters are going to be in the public eye

- I can’t really settle on a genre for it because it started out as a dystopian (I would say this ‘dystopian’ phase of the series lasted from books 1-mostly 3), but now it’s not really a traditional dystopian, if that makes any sense! The setting is weird, because it started out as very much in the distant future, with classic dystopian-ish rules, but as the books have progressed, it’s gotten very contemporary. At this point, it’s sort of dystopian but takes place in this world, with the same rules besides a few factors which will be mentioned in the synopsis below!

- I have considered possibly re-writing this series, but have decided against it for a couple reasons. A) I think it’d be very, very difficult for me to get back into the heads of these characters as if it were the first time I’d been writing them, and B) the idea isn’t all that unique, and the earlier books are so hard to salvage, lol

- The series is intended to be YA, but I would say books 5+6 are prettyyyyy much not YA

- I wrote up a list of themes for these books to give my best friend some examples when she was writing an essay, and a few I noted that stand out are: self-discovery, the unreliability of love in relationships, moral ambiguity, reality exists only in the eye of the beholder, losing one’s mind

- I do have the bones of a re-write planned that my sister, @sarahkelsiwrites and I brainstormed back in 2016. Buuuut, I’m no longer re-writing the books, so that re-write is sort of a flop, ha. I actually wrote the first chapter of this re-write, so maybe I’ll share it in an Old Writing post?

Soooo, now that that has been said, here’s the kinda bad blurb I have up on my Novels page (which you can check out HERE if you’d like to read up about the rest of my books):

Taking place in the not-too-distant future where children who’ve committed crimes, are neglected, or have chosen to are sent to behavioural detention centres – what everyone else that’s not the government likes to call foster homes – FOSTERED follows fifteen-year-old Reeve – who’s lived two years of her life in a ‘foster home’ after being accused of her sister’s murder. When she causes an accident that leads her to escape her home, she stumbles across a group of kids, who like her, have gone through the same scarring lifestyle and are also on the run. She makes bonds with them and everything seems in its place until she finds out that a team of hunters are searching for her because of the same accident that continues to haunt her memories. Unable to remember anything that happened from the event, she then learns that maybe all things don’t point to her – what really happened on the day she escaped?

(that rhetorical question tho)

SO yes. Book one pretty much follows the structure of a lot of dystopians out there! I would say this synopsis is pretty accurate to book one, but as for the other books, not so much, since like I mentioned before, the books strangely diverged from this dystopian story to a not very dystopian story. This plot pretty much ceases to exist by the time book four rolls around. Book four is also the point in the series where everything goes from pretty light and fluffy to very dark.

Since I don’t really have much to say in terms of the plot, because in all honesty, this series lacks a very structured plot, and is sort of all over the place, and mostly mention characters on here, I’m going to briefly go over the major characters in this series.

This is a cast photo @sarahkelsiwrites drew for me:

But here’s a little about each major individual character (which is pretty much the top row) in mini character profiles:

First up, we have our protagonist, Reeve:

Name: Reeve Aldaine

Age: 15 in book one, currently 19 in book six

Birthday: April 13th

Nicknames: I think she is successfully the only major character in this book without a lasting nickname

MBTI type: ISFP

If she had a favourite band: Daughter

Songs that remind me of her: Made Of Stone, Numbers, Smother, and The Right Way Around by Daughter

Some other stuff:

I’ve been writing with Reeve for the longest out of all of my protagonists, and it’s been really interesting to see how much she’s grown, and how much she’s stayed the same. She’s a fairly quiet, yet determined person who doesn’t mind speaking her mind when necessary. She is a very emotional person, but depending on the situation, will choose to show what she feels, or keep it to herself. Her voice as the series progresses becomes more and more ambiguous, and at times is super distant. I’ve had a few parts of book five in particular narrated in verse, as well as third and second person. She’s sort of an unreliable narrator, and is very poetically existential, but it’s super fun to write her.

And now here’s a little about our first supporting character and love interest, Foster:

Name: Foster Creed

Age: 16 in book one, 20 turning 21 in book six

Birthday: August 23rd

Nicknames: (via his birthday post) Foster (because Foster actually isn’t his name), Auggie (from Harrison), Prince Charming (from everyone in the entire world), Wary Sidekick (from Reeve hhhhhaaaaahhaa), The Other One (from Lonan mostly but also from everyone)

MBTI type: INFJ

If he had a favourite band: Strangely enough, I don’t really see Foster listening to music ? I don’t think he’d have a preference, in all honesty. Since his friends listen mostly to the rock spectrum, he’d probably listen to their music, but don’t see him with a concrete favourite band.

Songs that remind me of him: Something by The Beatles, @sarahkelsiwrites says Seashore by The Regrettes, Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran

Some other stuff:

Foster, out of all my characters is the one I make fun of the most. :) He’s also probably the nicest, and I’m too mean to him, but when you live that cinnamon roll life, and I live the cinnamon roll life, and also, don’t confront people, there’s bound to be some teasing. Foster’s name isn’t Foster (ha, it’s August, like the Rush kind because I thought this was a great idea??), and overall, he’s a very decent dude. Out of all these major characters, he’s the best at keeping his cool under all situations, and pretending he’s A-Okay when he’s not, lol poor boy. He acts as the voice of reason in his friend group. When he gets sassy, it’s an accomplishment, and I hold mini celebrations and send endless excerpts to @sarahkelsiwrites, because he’s a very reserved, nice, quiet person.

And now for our second supporting character, Harrison:

Name: Harrison Frost

Age: 17 in book one, 21 in book six

Birthday: November 3rd

Nicknames: (via his birthday post) Ris (from Foster but now everyone uses it ha foster never gets the creds), Frost (from Lonan who needs to stop calling him this 2k17), Waffelina (from @sarahkelsiwrites), Cinnamon Head (from Reeve)

MBTI type: ENFP

If he had a favourite band: Harrison’s music taste is vastly different from mine, and like Foster, isn’t really big on music, so probably wouldn’t have a favourite band or artist. He would like some rock music, and then would like trap music. Yes.

Songs that remind me of him: Paper Planes by Victoria Duffield, I’m Not Making Out With You by Surf Curse, Metabolism by The Strokes

Some other stuff:

Harrison is actually the character that drove me to continue writing this series, since I was pretty meh on it after chapter one of book one. He’s a very goofy guy who sometimes needs to take things a little more seriously. From books 1-3, he’s always been the ‘leader’ figure of his friend group (which consisted of just Foster and Reeve), and while he has some pitfalls here and there, does his job relatively well (very relatively). But, as the books have progressed, he’s also mellowed out, and matured quite a bit. He’s also great at pretending things are A-Okay, but unlike Foster, gets more worked up if challenged. Since book three, he’s hidden his true state of mind from the main cast, and like everyone in the story, has gotten progressively more melancholic. But yeah, overall, is a pretty chill, funny character who often brings humour to the story when it gets darker.

Aaaaand lastly, the character I mention most on here probably, Lonan:

Name: Lonan Clark

Age: 18/19 in book two, 21 in book six

Birthday: December 9th

Nicknames: Loner (from Harrison/@sarahkelsiwrites), Lone (from Reeve)

MBTI type: ISTJ

If he had a favourite band: The Strokes

Songs that remind me of him: Two Kinds of Happiness by The Strokes, Hot N’ Cold by Katy Perry, Blackbird by The Beatles

Some other stuff:

I loosely refer to Lonan as my favourite character out of all my characters, and he’s made a really big impact in my life. Unlike Foster, Reeve, and Harrison (who I call the original gang), he doesn’t make his appearance until midway through book two. Lonan is a really rigid character. His beliefs are very concrete and logical, and the first thing he does in any situation is analyze the problem. Thus, his foundation as a character is pretty harsh, and not really feeling. Strangely enough, even though he’s very logical and makes that clear, his decisions are often very illogical and brash to those they affect. He started out as book two’s antagonist, then transformed into book three’s anti-hero, and from books 4 onward, he’s now officially a good guy. I love Lonan a lot because of how complex and morally-grey he is. He’s the kind of character I like to pick apart, frame by frame.

I *think* that’s basically it for the basics? I’m sorry this was super long, I just realized I’ve never really answered this question, so here’s a bit of a master post for further reference! If you have any more questions about this series and/or its characters, let me know and I’d love to answer them. :) Thanks for asking, hopefully this was enjoyable!

–Rachel

[saltynemo]

In Real Life

WHATADO Everybody, its your boi Nemo here. I wrote this fanfiction about Josh Dun a long time ago for my friend’s fanfiction account. But she hasn't posted it yet so I thought I would post it :) (Thank you so much beebomeebo for helping me write my first fanfiction :D)

Summery: A long lasting relationship over the internet takes a turn and Josh meets Y/n for the first time in real life. This means more physical contact for the two of them ;)

Type: Smut

Warning: Sexual Content, Cussing, !!Cute Josh!!, Long ;),  fuck, just leave already

Requested?: HELL YES

Word Count: 3.5k (3,507 words)

So without further a do, P-P-P-P-PLAY IT:

I roll my backpack off my shoulders and I let it thud next to my bed. I arch my back from all of the stress that I have been introduced to today. I flopped into my bed, staring at the ceiling. Through all of the thoughts going through my mind, my friend's username gets thrown into the mix. I suddenly look at the flashing clock on my desk. 6:30. Josh must be online! I get a burst of excitement as I run to my laptop and nearly fall into my chair. I fumble across the keys as I type in my password. I forgot everything else in the world at this point. The only focus is on my best friend...Josh!

I move the little arrow to FireFox and waited for the page to load. My Wi-Fi is such a drag. I tapped the desk impatiently. After what seemed like forever, a big orange fox appeared in the middle of the screen along with a search bar. I typed "Twitter" into the bar and clicked search. This time, it didn't take that long for the page to load. I was typing my username and password so fast, I got it incorrect a couple times. Finally, my home page was on the screen. I went to my Private Messaging tab and noticed Josh has already messaged me. I replied: Y/n: "Hey, Josh!" Josh: "Oh hey Y/n." Y/n: "What's up" Josh: "Actually, I have something to tell you" Y/n: "Yea, what is it?" Josh: "First of all, you live in Minnesota, right?" Y/n: "Yea yea, I do" Josh: "I was waiting for your birthday to tell you this...but I couldn't let you wait" Y/n: "Josh, what is it!?" Josh: "I moved into Minnesota about 2 weeks ago" Y/n: "OMG, Josh that's amazing! We have to meet up!" Josh: "Yes yes, we are going to! How about tommorow night!" Y/n: "Okay!" Josh: "How about chilis, 6:00! Don't be late ;)" Y/n: "Is there a Chili's near you?" Josh: "Yes. The one near the big mall, right?" Y/n: "Yep! Thats the one. Cya there, Jish :)" Josh: "Cya ;)"

I couldn't contain my excitement after our conversation. I jumped out of my chair and started dancing. "I'm going to meet Josh, I'm going to meet Josh, I'm going to meet Josh!" I repeatidly squealed. I quickly got out my phone and wrote down the event on my calender. "Chilis, 6:00." I whispered under my breathe as I hit the save button. I plugged my phone into the charger and jumped into my pajamas. I rolled onto my bed and went into a hudle position, trying to find a comfortable position. I fell asleep to the sound of my air conditioner vibrating.

*TIME SKIP*

6:00 didn't come fast enough. I got home around 5:00, giving myself an hour to get ready. I skipped to my closet, thinking of how Josh and I would be roomates and maybe have a family together. Him and I had very little romatic intrest in eatchother, but we did have a connection. I opened my closet, expecting the perfect dress to be right infront of me. But no, I came to an empty closet, full of band T-Shirts and ripped jeans. I figured that Josh would care less, since we were only going to Chili's. I grabbed a Fall Out Boy shirt and ripped, black jeans. I tossed them onto my bed and went back to my closet. I grabbed a black, lingerie bra with matching panties. I slipped them on and checked myself in the mirror. I really shouldnt get my hopes up. I tossed my shirt and pants on and pranced to the bathroom. I put on my makeup with such prescision, trying not to mess up. Once i was done, i popped a mint in my mouth. I looked at the flashing clock on my desk. 5:32. I should get going. I text Josh: Y/n: "On my way!" Josh: "Okie,i may be a little late, so go get us a table"- Y/n: "Gotcha, cya there."

I slipped on my black and red vans and hurried out the door.

*Time Skip to Chili's*

Once I entered the double doors, the smell of deliciouse food filled your nostrils. I went up to the front desk: "Hey, is there a table for two?" i asked. "Yes, we have reserved it for you. Give us 10-15 minutes to clean it off and get it ready for you!" she cheered. I nodded and sat on the bench, near the desk.

*Time Skip 5 minutes*

I have been browsing Tumblr for the past 5 minutes. I was beond patient because I was going to meet my friend for the very first time..in person! Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see Josh Dun walk into the Restaurent. My heart was beating faster than the snail from Turbo. I, some how, contain my nervousness and keep my eyes glued on the daily drama of Tumblr. He clears his throat and glances at my worried expression. Josh lighlty tapped my shoulder. "Um, excuse me?" I turn my attention away from Tumblr but to him. "Hey, are you Y/n?" he asked. I was stunned he knew my name. "Why-uh yea! Yes I am. How did you know?" i stuttered. Josh twiddled his thumbs and chuckled. "We met on Twitter, remember? We made a date to meet up finally." I was so shocked to here that my favorite drummer was right under my nose the entire time. I did a big smile and nervously laughed. "Oh my gosh! I didnt know i was talking to-" I cut myself off, noticing I was coming off to be kind of streight forward. I cleared my throat: "I mean, Hey!" I said with a smile. This caused Josh to laugh. His laugh gave me life.

We started talking about many different things. We talked about our favorite bands, what music we listen to, ect. It turns out we have lots in common, I couldnt get enough of him. The way his lips moved and how his eyes glanced around the room, never have I ever seen such an angel. Finally, the waiter escorted us to our booth. "Sorry for the wait, were kind of busy today! So, what can I get you 2 to drink!" the waiter giggled. Josh looked at me: "Ladies first." he said. I chuckled on how polite he was. "Um, water please." I said. "Ill have a water, too" Josh said, following a toothy smile. His smile got me everytime. "Alrighty! 2 waters coming right up" the waiter giggled. She walked away and dissapeared into the kitchen door. I looked back at Josh, who was already looking at me, causing me to smile. "So." he said. "Well, I would like to know why you moved to Minnesota." I asked. Josh sighed: "Well, I would like to be completley honest with you.." he said, looking into my eyes. "I came here to see you. Since I had the money, I decided to pay you a visit." he said, following with a light smile. At this point, I have fallen for him. He was perfect! But did he feel the same way? "Aww, Josh. That really means alot to me!" I cheered. He chuckled and slowly leaned in. This was my chance! I leaned in too and we were just about to kiss when the waiter showed up with our waters. "Here ya go!" the waiter cheered as she placed them down infront of us. "Oh- thank you!" Josh said while he leaned back into his seat. I slowly leaned back aswell. "Are we ready to order?" she asked. "Um, not just yet. Give us, um, 5 minutes." Josh said, and gave a light smile. "Okay! Ill be right back." she said while skipping away. We stared at eatchother. Both of our expressions were akward. I giggled, and picked up the menu. So did he.

After about 10 minutes of total silence, we put down the menus. "So what are you having?" I asked. "Im just gonna have cheese pizza. What about you?" Josh asked with a grin. "Well, I was going to have that too!" I laughed. Josh laughed aswell. The waiter must have heard our orders. "Coming right up" she giggled. We both chuckled along with her. Suddenly, a tall man bounced over to our table. He must have been 6"5, he was huge! "Hey you love birds!" he cheered. We looked at eatchother and just laughed it off. "Hey!" Josh said. "Would the young lady like a balloon?" he asked. Josh looked over at me. I shrugged my shoulders: "Why not!" i giggled. "Make that 2 young ladies!" Josh joked. "Hahaha! Alrighty then. Ladie 1 first: What animal would you like?" he asked. I thought for a minute: "Can you make a poodle?" I ask the hulk. "Of course I can!" he cheered as he yanked a long pink balloon out of his pocket. He playfully blew it up while dancing akwardly. Josh and I laughed akwardly with him. After the balloon was a reasonable size, he started twisting it. I lightly cringed at the squeaky noises he was making.

After what seemed like an hour, the giant handed me a pink poodle with 2 dots for eyes. I laughed as i took it and put it down next to me. "Now what would the second young lady like?" he joked. "Oh, um, how about a snake! Ill make it easy for you." Josh chuckled. "Okie Dokie!" the balloon man said. Once again, he pulled out a long balloon, but this time, it was green. He blew air into the hole, causing it to inflate. He twisted and turned it into a slithery snake. The hulk brought out a red marker and drew a long, forked tounge on the mouth. He handed it to Josh: "Here you go, ma lady" he smiled. Josh laughed and took it. He held it up to his face and stuck his tounge out to it, trying to be funny. I let out a laugh, so did he. We looked up at the balloon man. "Thank you! Here, take a 10" I said with a smile and gave him a 10 doller bill. "Your welcome! Have a nice night!" the hulk cheered and he walked away to another table. Me and Josh giggled to ourselves. "What are you naming yours?" I playfully asked. "Well, he looks like a Tyler to me." he exclaimed with a small chuckle. I smiled: "Im naming mine Paras." I joked. Josh laughed: "You mean like- the pokemon?" he asked. "Yea, yea!" I said laughing with him.

*TIME SKIP*

"Oh, im stuffed" Josh said, pushing his plate away. "Yea, same here" I say, whipping a napkin across my mouth. The waiter some how hears this and bounces over: "Any dessert for tonight?" she asks. "No thank you, were stuffed." Josh exclaims. "Alrighty then! Here is the check." she said as she places the check on the table. "May I take your plates?" she asks. "Yes you can, thank you" I say, adding a hiccup at the end. The waiter takes the plates and walks away to the kitchen. Me and Josh stare at the check for a good 30 seconds. We glance up at eatchother. "Who ever grabs the check first will pay for it." he jokes. "Your on!" I say. We both say in unison: "1, 2...3!", we both bolt for the check. Of course, my hand misses the check, causing Josh to grab it. "Oh come on! Not fair." I say. We both laugh. Josh leaves cash to pay for the meal and a tip for the waiter. We both get up. "It was an amazing night! Thank you." I say. "It was really fun." he says. Josh held out his hand and i grabbed it. We both walk out of Chili's with smiles on our faces.

Once we reached my car, he lets go of my hand: "So, the fun doesnt exactly have to be over." Josh says, rubbing his hands together. "Yea, it doesnt. How about you follow me home! We can stay up and watch movies or something." I ask. He picked up his head "That would be fun! Ill just follow your car." Josh said with a toothy grin. I start to walk to my car when i felt a hand grab my wrist, making me turn to Josh's direction. He suddenly landed his lips on my cheek. I blushed and smiled. He smiled too while he walked the other direction to his car. I stayed still for a minute, watching him walk with his hands in his pockets. There was no going back, I have fallen for a famouse drummer, and I loved him.

*TIME SKIP TO YOUR HOUSE*

The whole way home I was thinking of Josh. Questions were circling through my head: Did he like me? What if i ruin this? Those thoughts dissapeared once i entered my neighborhood. I pulled into my driveway and parked my car. Once I got out, Josh's car soon pulled next to mine. He got out of his car and closed his door. We stared at eatchother for a good 5 seconds: "So, are you gonna show me around?" he asked. I snaped out of it: "Oh- yea yea, follow me." I stuttered as I nervously laughed, causing him to laugh, too. I walked up to my front door and unlocked it with my key. I pushed my way in and held the door open for Josh. "Thanks." he nearly whispered. I nodded my head and closed the door, locking it behind me. I dropped some of my things on a shelf: "Sorry for the mess.." I say. "Oh no, its fine! My house is worse, im still unpacking." he laughed. I smile and turned the TV on. "Sit down, Josh! Make yourself comfortable." I say, pointing to the couch. He nods, taking off his shoes and sitting down. I sat infront of my DVD Rack: "Ok, would you like to watch...a scary movie, romantic, um- comedy?" I ask. Josh thinks for a moment. "How about scary." he grins. I smile and nod my head. "Is the Conjuring 2 alright?" I questioned. He nodded his head. I slide the DVD into the VCR and sit down next to Josh. I turned up the volume so we can hear it. The lights were already off, so I didnt have to bother with that.

*TIME SKIP TO END OF MOVIE*

The credits rolled onto the screen and I stood up, stretching my arms like I have just woke up from a great nap. Josh did the same. "That was a scary movie" I joked, putting my arms down. "Oh yea, I forgot how scary that movie was." he said, adding a smile at the end, putting his hands down and shoving them into his pockets. There was a moment of silence while we stared at our socks. "So, what else do you wanna do?" Josh asked. I smiled: "Tag, your it!" I squealed as i started running around the house. Luckily, my house was big enough for 2 adults to be running around like children. He picked up his head and laughed while trying to catch me. I ran into my bedroom, not remembering its a dead end. I almost ran into my desk I was in such a hurry. Before I could turn around, Josh picked me up from behind and playfully swung me onto my bed. Unexpectedly, he came down with me, causing him to fall on top of me. We laughed at our child like behavior, soon noticing we were in an akward position. We stared into our eyes for a little bit, then causing a massive connection with our lips. This was the first time I ever felt his lips.

Josh put his hands on my face while he continued to kiss me. He slowly pulled away and smiled at me as we looked into eachothers eyes. I couldnt help but grin back at him. He was the most perfect thing you could see. Josh quickly pushed his lips back into mine. He licked the top of my lip, asking if he can enter. I opened my mouth slightly so we can twirl our tounges together. I put my hands on his back, slowly creeping my hands up to the back of his head. So many thoughts were going through my mind as we moaned into eachothers mouths. I continue to rub my hands through his soft, colorful hair. The only time we disconnected our lips was when we crawled to the middle of the bed, so his head was on a pillow and I was on top of his stomach. After we got comfortable, we went back to kissing. I tugged on Joshs shirt lightly, signaling for him to take off his shirt. He took it off, revealing bare skin. God, I wanted to suck at his skin all day.

We continued to kiss for awhile as I rubbed his skin. Everything about Josh was soft. I ran my hands slowly down to the growing bulge in his pants. Once i reached it: I squeezed it and kissed his upper lip, then going back to his mouth. "Fuck..." he moaned aloud. He stuttered words i couldnt make out. I continued to rub and squeeze it. I then brought my other hand down to join and slowly unbuttoned his jeans. I gave him one last short kiss before moving my whole body down so i was facing his crotch. I tugged his jeans down and through them to one of the corners of my bedroom. I looked up at Josh and grinned. He smiled back. I pulled his boxers all the way down, revealing an obviously happy member. I threw his boxers to a corner of the room. I began to rub it slowly as he moaned aloud. I slipped his head into my mouth which made him moan even louder. The whole bedroom was filled with his moans and groans, which turned me on even more. I fit as much of his dick as i could get in, and rubbing the rest i couldnt fit in. I looked up at him, he was looking up at the ceiling and moaning loud. "Y/n..im gonna.." Josh groaned. I pulled away and took my own shirt off, exposing my black, lingerie bra. "I love you." He choked out. "I love you too.." i replied.

He unbuttoned my jeans and ripped them off along with my panties and tossed them off in the same corner as my jeans. I quickly ran my fingers through his hair while he unhooked my bra from the back and threw it off in the same corner. Josh grabbed my right breast and began sucking on it. We exchanged moans to eachother. He looked up at me and rubbed the other one. I couldnt help but giggle at him .He giggled back at me and then switched boobs. Josh stopped and came up to kiss me. He kissed me hard enough to get me to fall back as he climbed back on top of me. He continued to kiss me

Josh burried his face in my neck and sucked on it as he slid into me. I moaned super loud. "Jo...Josshh...Fuckkkk!!" He started off slow, moving in and out of me. I never felt so full in my life. He muttered, "I love y..ohh..ughh.fuckk.." I moaned in response. His thrusts became harder and harder. "JoSHHhh..oOhhhh.." I cried. "Y/nnNN..." He choked out. Weexchanged moans for a long while as he continued to thrust harder and faster. "J-Josh...Im gonnaaaaoohhh...." I squealed out, climaxing soon after. I felt him also climax with me as he moaned loudly, "OoooOooohhh fuuuuckk..." I let Josh lay on top of me, with his head still resting on my neck, for a little while to let him catch his breathe.

He lifted his head and pulled out of me, rolling next to me. I looked over at him. "I..love you.." I nearly whispered to him. Josh smiled and turned twards me. "I love you too" He said, staring into my eyes. We stayed like this for a long time before Josh got up and slipped his boxers on. "Are you planning on staying the night...?" I asked him, picking up my head. "Only if you want me to." Josh said with a smile. I nodded in reply. I got under the sheets, not caring that i didnt put my pajamas on. Josh hopped back in bed too. I scooted over to him, resting my head on his chest. "Goodnight, baby girl." He said, quickly kissing the top of my head. "Goodnight.." I said with a smile. I knew we both had wanted to lay there forever, because our heart beats had matched.

(Sorry if it had some errors in it...but overall it was fun to write and I hope you enjoyed it :)) And again, thx to beebomeebo (tumblr name) and go follow her for more fanfics!!!)

[amganabcc-blog]

Dita Versus The World

Monday, November 26

My 10th birthday is in a week, and everyone's acting weird. Like it's some kind of horror movie or a funeral or something.

#

Dita hated it when her dad did this to her.

“But I'm supposed to see the doctor, Kos—mom said I had an appointment at 4, and that you'd—”

“Well, the plans changed,” Kos enunciated loudly, making sure she understood his words were final. “You don't need to see no gov'ment doctor, anyway—it's just that pre-10 bullshit they started forcing on us a few years back... Your sister didn't have a doctor, and she did fine when her time came. Just the damn bigwigs sticking their noses into everything...” Her dad's voice turned into a grumble, blending with the whining thrum of the car's engine as they drove down the highway.

But Isabel doesn't think it's right, was what Dita wanted to say. But the last time she mentioned her imaginary friend to Kos, he slapped her so hard she saw bright fairies dancing around her head. Good thing spanking your kids ain't illegal, he'd often say.

Instead she stared out the passenger side window at the bleak landscape of abandoned housing and run-down businesses. Kos had taken her on many outings these past few years, and she was beginning to recognize certain landmarks. They seemed to be heading to the other side of the county.

“Where are we going?” Dita spoke softly, afraid to look at Kos.

He remained silent for a few seconds, and curiosity forced Dita to cast a sidelong glance. A devilish grin and a twinkle in Kos's eyes forced her to turn and question him with her face.

“I got a surprise for you—think of it as uh early birthday present.”

Dita narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. She didn't like surprises.

They continued driving down the nearly empty highway in silence, paralleling the raised track of the old light-rail train, unused for many years. The setting sun revealed just how old the omnipresent billboards were: dirty, tattered ads with public safety warnings about washing one's hands or wearing a mask around infected people. Dita was too young to remember the global pandemic named GP1—that happened even before the Swarm arrived—but evidence of its effects were hard to miss. Even for a girl with an invisible friend.

When they finally turned off the highway the first thing she saw was a church. What in the world are we doing here? Torn placards and other litter sullied the bushes in front of the austere building, the signs of a recent protest, and Dita realized it was a Church of the Swarm. She furrowed her brow, and knew without a doubt that Kos wouldn't be taking her to what he called The Temple of the Devil Bugs. She had never been to one, and didn't really understand what the Swarm was, but she imagined a colony of bees buzzing in the rafters of the church and stinging the worshippers below into a religious frenzy.

Halfway down the street, Kos turned left into a charging station, and then it started to make sense. His Jeep was an older model, a hybrid that required both electricity and biofuel, so he pulled up next to the pump.

“How is this a surprise?” she grumped as he turned off the engine. “It's not like I haven't been to a charging station before.”

Kos's expression was a mixture of disbelief and amusement. “Don't get mouthy, girl—this one's got a carwash.” He turned and got out to fill up his Jeep, shutting his door behind him and leaving Dita alone with her confusion.

“What's the big deal about getting your car washed?” she asked invisible Isabel, then peered into the charging station's convenience store. She couldn't see the store clerk, but she knew there must be one inside. Probably sitting behind the cash register, which was blocked from her view by a display filled with boxes of ammunition.

Her dad returned to the car and started it, grinning but not saying a word. He brought his Jeep around to the front of a building that at first Dita thought was a garage, then drove up to the entrance and waited for the clerk. Mechanical arms lurked in the shadows holding ropey constructions of various colors, while a grooved track in the pavement ensured no vehicle could escape the course laid out for it. Dita drew her feet up onto the seat and hugged her knees to her chest.

Kos rolled down his window and told the pudgy, dark-haired man who approached that he'd like the Super Eco-Deluxo Wash. After verifying Kos's receipt, the clerk turned to a small console next to the carwash entrance, put a key into a lock and pushed a button. Kos's Jeep lurched forward, and Dita couldn't stop a squeal from escaping her throat.

“Kos!”

Her dad laughed, rolling up his window as the Jeep was pulled into the dark chamber. Soapy jets of water hit the windshield with an exhilarating splash and Dita's eyes grew large.

“Oh, yeah! I forgot about these things! You took me once, when I was little, I remember now! I was scared of the big floppy tennacles...” Dita giggled as the mechanical arms extended their spongy mops onto Kos's Jeep and flopped around as they'd done before.

As the car made its creeping journey through the sudsy contraption, Dita's delight was spoiled as she sensed the mood turn sour. She glanced at Kos's face, long and serious, and wished immediately that she hadn't. It seemed to spark his next words.

“You know what you need to do. And don't gimme any mouth about it—you won't have to do this stuff for too much longer. I got one more grand plan in mind, and then that's it. But I'm gonna tell you something—call it my pre-10 counseling... You're gonna figure it out as you get older, so you might as well know now.”

Loud jets of water rinsed the car for a second time, before more soapy rollers. Dita groaned at the thought of another of Kos's grand plans.

“There're times in life when you gotta do things you don't like. Times when you might have to do quote-in-quote bad things—even kill—just to get by.”

Dita's brows cast shadows on her eyes.

“Don't look at me like that, now, you know I said it before—and with your birthday coming up and all—” Kos pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow.

“All I'm saying's if you wanna survive in this world, sometimes killing's necessary. You'd best wrap your head around that, Edyta Mazurek.”

Dita breathed through her nose, wrinkled her chin, and made duck lips in response.

Fading sunlight glistening on the windshield signaled the end of the carwash. Kos took the wheel and drove out to a parking spot alongside the convenience store, turned off the ignition and glanced once more at his daughter. He didn't need to say a word. He got out and raised the hood of his Jeep, then nodded to her and headed to the store entrance. She climbed out of the car and skipped up to him as he pulled open the glass door.

A picture of an astronaut and his rocket hung on a column, a lost hero, the only image in the store that wasn't advertising. As they approached the man standing behind the counter, Dita noticed the cash register was a Barion model six-eight-eight.

“Easy cheesy pineapple queasy,” she singsonged, raising a curious glance from the clerk.

Kos smiled at the man and held his hands open before him. “Sorry to bother you, bud, but do ya think you could gimme a hand? I'm not sure, but I think there's something going on with my Jeep, and I need someone who can rev the engine while I tinker with it, and the girl, well... It'll only take a minute or two of your time.”

Kos glanced around at the empty store while Dita peered over the countertop at the racks stuffed full of magazines with brown paper covers and titles like Vintage Gals and Bathing Suit Beauties. She knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself from taking a peek.

The clerk smiled and conceded that he could spare a minute or two, then came out from behind the counter. Dita strolled over to the comic book rack near the candy and pretended to be interested in Flying Wombat issue number two hundred and eleven while Kos and the meek man went out to look at his Jeep. She waited thirty seconds, then reached into her coat pocket and pulled out several thin, metal rods.

Later, back on the highway traveling in the opposite direction, Kos looked straight ahead at the road and asked, “See anything you like at the store?”

“Yes,” she sighed, familiar with the routine. She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a wad of bills. Placing the money on the seat between them, she spoke clearly, ignoring Isabel's protests: “The nice man gave me an early birthday present.”

Kos grinned. “That's my girl.”

#

Tuesday, November 27

Mom's even worse than normal. She saw someone I don't know, and got scared. She didn't like him, that's for sure. I've never seen her this sad.

#

Dita sat at the big table and drew fantastical creatures while her six-year-old brother, Leshek, played with toy cars on the floor with the other young kids. A sixteen-year-old girl sat cross-legged among them, tasked with watching the children while Sister Margie made phone calls in the nearby office about the upcoming St. Andrew's Day festivities.

Today, Dita drew a fire-breathing unicorn with tiny fairy wings. She decided to name him Bazzle.

Two pictures of Jesus Christ hung on the wall, one of his radiant, unblemished face, and the other of Jesus bleeding on his cross. Dita always imagined that Jesus's cross was his rocketship, just like Captain O's.

“Baka Jo!” Leshek exclaimed. He rushed up to his grandmother as she entered the church's daycare room and wrapped his arms around her wide hips.

“Ah, it's good to see you, Leshek, and you, Dita—” She extended her hand to the young girl, and Dita couldn't resist. Abandoning her drawing, she jumped up and ran to hug her grandma. “If only I could see you every day of the week...” She spoke with a Serbian accent, despite having arrived in the US as a young woman—before the current traveling restrictions were enforced. “How was your day, little Leshek—did you have fun with your toys?”

Dita's slow-witted brother smiled up at his grandma and blathered, “I was got, I got pick by da elefan guy to race da cars!”

“Awww, such a sweet boy. And you, Dita—” Baka Jo's face grew solemn all at once. “Tell me, what trouble did you get into today—and don't lie to me, devojka!”

Dita made her face as long as she could and looked off to one side, causing Leshek to giggle at her goofy expression. Baka Jo laughed as well, and caressed the young girl's cheek before turning and leading the children out of the room.

“Come, your mother is waiting for us.”

She insisted they call her Baka Jo—like the American Joe, despite the fact that her name, Jovana, was pronounced Yovana. Dita's dad never seemed to get along with her, using the Polish Baba Jovana instead of Baka Jo. She never had a smile for him, but she showered her grandchildren with affection.

Kos is a dick, her older sister, Lidia, had once explained to her. He thinks being Polish is better than being a Serb.

Kos hadn't yet told Dita the details of his upcoming grand plan, but she knew it was just a matter of time.

When they entered the sanctuary, the primary and largest room in St. Andrew's Catholic Church, Dita spotted her mother at once. She sat in her usual place among the pews, five rows back on the righthand side. She turned frequently and seemed to be agitated as she waited for her mother and children to reach her. Her dark eyes wore worry lines like unwanted plumage.

Baka Jo knew it as well: something was up. “What's the matter, Nadanje—you act like a whirlybird,” she joked while Dita and Leshek found their spots on the pew. Lidia wasn't here, but that wasn't surprising; she hadn't come to evening mass with her family for a couple of years. And Kos had declared himself to be agnostic, which Dita figured meant he didn't have to believe in anything.

“It's the bishop,” her mother hissed, drawing Baka Jo closer. “He's here—Bishop Stanczak, he's here for Saint Andrew's Day.”

Dita didn't recognize the name, but it was clear that Baka Jo did. She looked sternly at Nada in silence, then placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder. “Give it no thought, Nadanje. What is he to you? He is nothing. He's part of a story that's over—I tell you, don't give it another thought.”

Her mother had no response, but Dita didn't think she would listen to Baka Jo's advice. During the evening service Nada sat, kneeled, stood, and sang at all of the appropriate places, but she was clearly distracted, glancing over and over again at the man in the funny hat who sat behind Father Frank. As the congregants stood and sang a hymn, Nada turned and scanned the pews, taking stock of the two or three dozen worshippers. She knew most of them by name, but at one point her head stopped and her mouth slowly dropped open.

“No.” Her lips mouthed the word but no sound came out. Dita's heart raced as she watched terror increase the size of her mother's eyes. Nada turned to Baka Jo and said something, then grabbed Leshek by the arm and dragged him away.

Baka Jo shook her head and instructed Dita to follow after her mother and brother. Stopping at the end of the pew and ignoring the stares of her fellow worshippers, Dita knelt and crossed herself, then ran down the aisle toward the church's exit.

“He's here!” her mother whispered as Baka Jo met up with her outside. “The bishop's son—in the church!”

Dita's grandmother tried to calm her daughter, instructing Dita and Leshek to walk ahead of them so she and Nada could talk.

That was the first time, at least in Dita's memory, that her mother had ever walked out of church before the end of service. She wanted to talk to Isabel about it, but her desire to eavesdrop on her mother and grandmother's conversation was greater.

The only thing she heard before her grandma had to split off and follow a different path home was something about prison, and then her mother uttering these words:

“I just wish he was dead.”

#

Wednesday, November 28

Baka Jo once said there's a 'first' for everything, and you should never be afraid of it. I don't think she's ever lied to me.

I had a 'first' today: I thought I was going to be sent to jail.

#

Leshek could be the most confusing—and irritating—brother in all of God's brown earth. Dita sometimes wondered if he even was her brother.

“Buh-buh-but he said I wasn't reeeal!” he blubbered nonsense between sobs.

“Who said? Your little friend in kiddiegarten?”

Dita could see that her mother was trying to react to Leshek's whining with patience, but she didn't have much in her. Her right arm crossed over her body as if she was hugging herself during their walk home from school. A cloth grocery bag hung heavily from her left hand. Her eyes had dark circles beneath them, blacker than normal, and she seemed to be staring at something far away under the sidewalk.

“No!” Leshek was outraged. “Sandy Claws!” Then more wailing.

Meanwhile, Dita was trying to get Nada's attention for herself, trying to have a normal conversation like normal people do. She didn't get to spend as much time with her as she wanted due to her mom's work schedule at the hospital, and Dita was eager to recount her day at school.

“My favorite part was when we learned more about lines and angles, about how two points form a line and how a cute angle is smaller than an ob—attuse one—oh wait, or... did I learn it the other way around? Oh, shut up, Lesh! You're mixing me up.”

“Buh he wasn't real! Where will the presents go-o-o-o-o?!”

As they passed the neighborhood mini-mart, Leshek saw flashing red and green lights had been draped around the windows, and this really set him off. Not only did his wailing grow louder, but he dropped to the ground and began to kick the air.

“I don't want I want da Sandy Claws to be real!” he nearly shrieked.

At the same time, a group of teenagers were teasing a blond-haired kid in the alley next to the mini-mart. Dita heard them accuse the boy, who must've been eleven or twelve, of being a bed-wetter. With tears streaming down his face he cried out, “I do not wet my bed!” Rapid convulsions shook his small body at once. His eyes bugged out and face contorted, his arms went spastic and elastic for a few seconds until the seizure ceased. The other kids howled in laughter, pointing at and imitating their victim.

“Swarm'll get ya if ya lie!” one of them taunted.

Dita tried to ignore them too. “We also learned about a new statue they built downtown, a memorial for the victims of GP1. Did you know more people died because of GP1 than any other flu or virus in all of history?” She was amazed by this fact.

Her mother, however, had finally had enough. Yanking Leshek up from the ground by his arm, she first directed her vitriol at the rowdy boys in the alley.

“You there, you brats—stop picking on him! You're gonna shorten his life! Go and find something better to fill your time with. And you—” turning to Leshek, dragging him along next to her as she continued on the path home. “Lech Mazurek, what in God's name do you think you're doing? You're a kindergartner now—you're not a baby anymore! Why are you acting like one? There's no need to cry about what that boy said to you—tell him people are allowed to believe whatever they want to believe, there's no law against that, and if you want to believe in Santa Claus, that's none of his business!”

Shocked by her mother's anger, Dita stood rooted to the spot in front of the mini-mart for a few seconds before catching up. She heard one of the bullies mutter, “Whatev, he's still a baby bed-wetter,” while the blond-haired boy ran away.

Her mom looked worn-out, like she could use a ten-day nap, as Kos would say. Dita hoped the rest of the walk home would be more peaceful, but Nada had one more thing to get off her chest.

“And yes, Dita, I did know. Your brother Raymund, born three years before you, died as an infant because of GP1.”

Dita saw again the melancholy in her mom's eyes, and ached to dispel it.

I just wish he was dead.

That was definitely something she'd never heard her mom say before. Who was this man she was talking about, and what had he done? She was determined to talk with her sister about it; she knew that if she asked her mom directly she'd get nothing but a stern look and a Never you mind about that, you should be worrying about bluh and bluh and bluh...

“Don't forget about the fundraiser this weekend, Edyta,” her mom spoke hollowly as they turned the last corner onto their street. “You'll have a lot of responsibilities at the church on Saturday.”

“I know, mom, you don't have to constantly remind me.” Her mom was more forgetful than Dita was.

Instead of reacting to Dita's exasperated response, Nada stopped and nearly caused Leshek to trip over his feet. Dita looked up to where her mother stared, and her heart started to gallop.

A policeman.

The officer stood alongside his car in front of the fourplex where they lived, watching Nada as they approached.

“Dita, take your brother inside and let me speak to the policeman—go on now, get started on your homework, you hear me?”

Dita didn't want to take her brother inside, but she nodded anyway, then took her mother's keys and Leshek's hand. After unlocking the bottom unit on the north side of the building, she let her brother in, then lingered by the doorway.

“Missus Mazurek, we have reason to believe your daughter may've been involved in a burglary at a charging station in West County.” His words emblazoned themselves across Dita's mind. We have reason to believe your daughter was involved in a burglary. “May I ask how old she is?”

Dita couldn't hear how her mother responded, but she thought she might have heard the word birthday.

“I see.” The officer, a handsome man with blond hair, blue eyes and an athletic build, glanced over at the front door, slightly ajar.

“I belieeeeve in Sandy Claaaws! I belieeeeeve!” Leshek's irritating voice obscured some of what the policeman said next. Dita tried to hush her brother, but he was twirling around the living room like an alien spaceship, oblivious to her pleas.

“...new law... ...year-olds—especially the last... ...lenience. Just make sure it...

“I believe I am Sandy Claws!'

“Shut it, spaznozzle!”

“Ha ha!” Leshek was tickled by funny words. “Shpanish Noodle! Dita said I'm a Shpanish Noo! Ha ha! Nooda nooda nooda nooda!”

When Nada came into the house, shutting the door behind her before the policeman had even gotten into his car, she didn't look at Dita. Instead she brought her bag of groceries into the kitchen and set them on the counter with a sigh.

“Settle down, twirlybird, settle down! Go play with your crayons while I get dinner ready.”

But Leshek didn't want to settle down. Distressed by learning that Santa Claus wasn't real, he was desperately seeking ways to make it right again. “I'm a Noodle Claws!” He spun himself dizzy and fell on the floor giggling after that one.

Dita retreated to the kitchen table and started another drawing, trying to ignore her little brother. When Lidia came home from school, Leshek was still spinning around the living room, but at least he was doing it quietly. Lidia retreated to the bedroom the three siblings shared and slammed the door.

Typical.

Leshek sat on the floor for a full twenty minutes, piecing together tracks for his racecars, but the lure of the whirling spaceship eventually pulled him into motion. He didn't get far, crashing into his mother just as she was about to transfer a box of macaroni to a boiling pot of water.

Ssscrasssh!

Noodles everywhere.

“Noodle Claws!” He seemed so pleased with himself.

Just then, Kos walked in through the front door, and the mood grew chill. Leshek trotted over to the kitchen table next to Dita and pretended that he'd been drawing the entire time. With the air sucked out of her chance to shriek at her youngest child, Nada scooped up the spilled noodles into a bowl and picked through them for dirt.

“I won't let you spoil dinner for all of us,” she muttered, barely acknowledging her husband's entrance. Kos solemnly took off his shoes and sat in his easy chair, as he did every day before dinner.

A mischievous urge prompted Dita to comment on her mom's cooking. “It's already spoiled if you're using that ento-meat stuff, it's gross—”

“You mind your tongue, little girl,” Kos's gruff voice cut her off. “We can't afford fancy hamburgers and steak, you know.”

“Is that what you tell her to get her to steal for you?” Nada's voice was as tense as violin strings.

Kos's eyes turned black, but her mother wasn't through.

“A cop came by today—waiting for me outside our house when I got home. Yeah, that's right,” she nodded when Kos flinched at her words. “The police. He said they had video of Dita busting into a cash register—our Dita! Is this how you're raising our little girl, Kosmy? Raising her to think that stealing's okay as long as you don't get caught? You're just setting her up to be punished after she turns ten—is this how you're gonna raise Leshek? To be nothing more than a thief?”

Kos remained uncannily detached throughout Nada's fury, right up to when she mentioned Leshek. It was clear to everyone in their family that Kos didn't care for their youngest child, and the twist of his lip, the tension in his left nostril, both signaled his disgust at the thought of raising the boy. Thief or not.

“You should be ashamed of yourself, Kosmy Mazurek,” Nada pressed on, her cheeks aflame with indignation. “To take advantage of your children in such a way.”

“Dita!” Kos barked, jumping up from his chair. Dita stiffened, but didn't look up from her drawing. “Take out the trash, then make a peanut butter sandwich for you and your brother. It's time for—”

Dita could already hear her mom groaning in protest.

“—your mom and I to have our playtime.”

“No, Kosmy, please—I'm so tired, and the kids need a proper—”

“You heard me! Dita!”

Leshek scrambled off to the kids' bedroom as fast as he could, while Dita slammed her pencil on the tabletop and stomped off to retrieve the trash.

She hated it when her dad did this. It made no sense.

It made her sick.

She brought the kitchen trash to the can they kept outside near the house, and said goodnight to the giant oak at the end of their block. For a mere second, she was tempted to walk down the street and keep walking, never turn back, and never have to see Kosmy or Leshek or anyone ever again. The thought was flushed away at once, however. Her family was awful. But the world was too terrifying for a nearly-ten-year-old girl on her own.

As she reached for the doorknob to go back inside, she heard Nada's muffled protests turn to sobbing and moaning, and Dita knew that Kos had already begun. For the next hour or more, Dita's parents would stay locked up in their bedroom, as they had many times before. She knew that her dad would stuff something into her mom's mouth, gagging her and garbling her pleas for mercy. She'd hear what sounded like slapping, sometimes punching or kicking. Cutting into her heart like an ax blow, Dita would hear each of her mother's muted groans, each time her dad gibed at Nada for forgetting their safe word.

Sometimes her family made her want to die.

“At least I have you, Isabel,” Dita whispered to the cold sky before going back into the house.

#

Thursday, November 29

We learned about Captain O in school today. His name was Yuriy, but people called him George. He left Earth eight years ago, before the Swarm came, on a mission to Mars, but he never made it. Something happened to his ship. Some people think he's still alive, out there in space, and that he's going to come back and save Earth or something. But wouldn't he be a human popsicle by now? I think space is pretty cold.

We also played some ancient game called square dancing. I wanted to keep doing it all day and all night, so I wouldn't have to come home, but everyone else thought it was stupid.

At daycare I learned about St. Andrew and his saltire. A saltire is a cross in the shape of an x instead of t. Andrew was a follower of Jesus Christ, but some people didn't like what he was doing, so they decided to crucify him. He said he wasn't good enough to be crucified on the same kind of cross as Jesus, so they put him on a saltire.

I think that's silly. If you have to die, why does the shape of the cross matter? Death is death. The point of life is to avoid it as long as possible.

#

Kos was at it again. He'd spent three hours the previous night torturing Nada, but that wasn't enough it seemed. Muffled moans and cruel taunts filled their home; the kids did their best to ignore them. Leshek listened to his radio and hummed to himself, but that wasn't enough for Dita. She hated Kos more than anything during playtime.

She decided she'd go find Lidia. Opening the front door as quietly as possible, she snuck out and climbed the stairs to the landing pad and entryway to the upper unit. No one lived there, although a woman lived in the upper unit on the south side of their fourplex. She was probably in her living room surrounded by her many cats.

Dita went to the end of the balcony and climbed up a ladder to the roof. Crouching down as she ascended the shingled slope, she found her sister sitting in shadows, her back pressed against the brick chimney. Lifting her head at the noise of Dita scrambling up the roof, Lidia frowned then put her head back on her knees as she hugged her legs.

Dita sat next to her sister, and Lidia grudgingly shared the wool blanket she'd draped over herself. In one hand she held a small bottle, unopened and containing a brown liquid. They sat in silence for a few moments, and Dita looked at her favorite tree at the end of the block, the enormous oak that was as wide as a house. That tree awed her, made her sure that life was worth living. It changed with the seasons, and it had an entire society of animals and insects that lived in, on, under, and around it. It was its own world.

“We missed the meteors,” Lidia spoke quietly, worn out from the cold. Her pale skin looked almost blue in the dim light from the streetlamps. “Meteor swarms that come around every year in November, but I learned about them too late.”

Dita imagined a flock of winged rocks swooping and buzzing past Earth in a strange outer-space migration.

“Like the Swarm?”

Lidia scowled. “No, stupid, the Swarm's always here.”

“What's in the bottle?” Dita asked after another few moments had passed.

“Bourbon.” Lidia lifted her head again and looked directly at Dita's face for the first time tonight. “It's a kind of alcohol.”

“But that's for adults, isn't it? Why do you have it?”

“It's not illegal anymore for kids to drink alcohol... but I haven't tried it.” The way she phrased her words it seemed as if she had more to stay, but nothing came out.

“How come?” Dita prompted.

Lidia's head sank back to her knees. “I'm scared.”

Dita didn't understand that, but she let it pass. “Well, why do people drink that stuff in the first place? Doesn't it taste terrible?”

Lidia raised her head again, but not to respond to Dita's questions. Leshek's head had just popped up over the edge of the roof. His eyes asked if he would be allowed to climb up and join his sisters. Dita sighed.

Before their brother reached them, Lidia looked at Dita and something in her sister's eyes made Dita's heart race: they were cold and hard, like their dad's.

“You'd better do it soon, before it starts counting against you. If you don't, it'll be up to Leshek, but that'll be years from now. I don't think mom'll survive that long.”

Dita had no idea what her sister was saying. The words bounced off her head like inert pine cones, but the tone of her sister's voice terrified her. Shaken, she welcomed Leshek's arrival and hugged her brother close to her while they sat on the roof.

#

Friday, November 30

I might get arrested before my 10th birthday. Kos finally told me about his grand plan.

#

Looking down at two men on the ground, convulsing as if they'd been shocked by live wires, Kos spat. “Damn bugs. Come on, let's get outta here.”

They left the gun range after witnessing an argument turn into fisticuffs. Normally Kos had Dita practice with a small rifle, since that's what kids were taught, but today he had her use a small semi-automatic handgun.

You never know when you'll need to protect yourself from a thug or a rapist, he'd said. The handgun's your best bet.

It turned out she was just as good a shot with a handgun as she was with a rifle. Shooting a gun felt natural to her. Still, she was annoyed at her dad for taking her to the range. Today was St. Andrew's Day, and there was a special mass at church tonight. Dita would much rather be with her mom and Baka Jo in church than at the firing range.

Back in the Jeep, Kos didn't start the engine right away. Instead, he lit one of his hand-rolled cigarettes and lowered his window just enough to let the smoke out. Dita wrinkled her nose: she detested the smell of burning tobacco. He took a few drags and breathed deeply for a moment before he spoke, saying something that Dita knew she wouldn't want to hear.

“The world's uh effed-up place, Dita. People do some crazy shit just to get by... and some people do crazy shit just for the hell of it—just to get off on it.”

Like you? Feeling nauseous from a mix of smoke, adrenalin and bile, Dita shot her eyes over at Kos, not daring to utter her thought. He ignored her anyway, looked out his window and kept speaking. She turned away and stared out the passenger side window at the brick wall of the gun range building, graffitied with the phrase OBEY THE SWARM.

“About six or seven years ago, when it all started... when it was worse than it is now, when people started losing their shit and killing themselves, and killing each other... Someone hurt your mom, hurt her real bad. He did something to your mom that—” Something seemed to catch in his throat, so he cleared it, swallowed, and paused for a moment before resuming.

“He polluted her,” he said more loudly, anger rising in his face. “And cuz of who he was, the son of a god-damn priest, he got off light.”

Kos turned to Dita and made sure she was looking at him.

“There ain't no way he's paid for the damage he's done. If I could get away with it... I'd make sure justice was done.”

Dita didn't dare utter a word. She understood exactly what Kos was telling her.

“Tomorrow at the fundraiser,” he continued. “You'll be busy helping Sister Margie with the bake sale and kid stuff, right?”

Dita nodded once.

“You'll have your jacket with you, right?”

Dita nodded twice.

“Well, just be sure you don't forget it, you know, back in the back office or whatever, cuz... Well, I wouldn't want you to be without your jacket, cuz I guess I'd have to bring you back later and see if we could get it... right?”

#

Saturday, December 1

#

You'd better do it soon.

I'd make sure justice was done.

I just wish he was dead.

The voices of her family haunted Dita as she and Nada took the county bus to the Lake Park cemetery. Somewhere deep inside she understood what they were all saying to her, but she was reluctant to examine their words too closely. Reluctant, or perhaps, repulsed by what she might find. It was all too much for her young soul.

She wanted to talk with her mom about it, but at the same time she didn't. Nada was the most frustrating person in the world to talk to. She could try to discuss it with Isabel, but that'd become unsatisfying as she grew older. She'd never actually seen Isabel, but ever since she could remember she simply knew Isabel existed. There were times when she thought she could hear her imaginary friend, as a high-pitched ringing noise, which is how she got her name: Is a bell?

The electric bus sped away from them quietly, as if it'd never been there, and Dita glanced up at her mother's face. Clutching some flowers she'd picked earlier this morning, Nada eyed something ahead with suspicion, but Dita couldn't tell what it was. She hesitated for a moment, then decided to pose one of the many questions burning in her mind.

“Why was Uncle Miki buried here instead of at Saint Andrew's with Raymund and grampa and gramma Mazurek?”

Nada turned with anger in her eyes and scowled, but didn't reply. After a moment she sighed, then walked up to a wooden booth near the cemetery's entrance. While she signed her name on an open book that'd been placed on a pedestal, a woman approached holding a stack of folded paper. At first glance, her hair appeared neat, but it was really just a jumble of quarrelsome curls.

“Hi, my name's Beverly,” the woman spoke with a slight lisp, holding one of her pamphlets out to Nada. “Have you considered joining the Church of the Swarm?”

Nada looked up, confused and irritated, and refused the pamphlet by waving her hands in front of her.

“We're the first religion based on rational thought and proven science,” Beverly offered, but Nada took Dita's hand and walked away from the woman.

When they reached the wall where the ashes of her brother were interred, Nada touched the plaque which bore his name: Mihailo Damjanović. Placing her sorry bouquet in a tin vase attached to the wall next to the plaque, she spoke softly to her daughter.

 “Your uncle Miki was a good man, Dita. Caring... generous... kind. He liked to play golf... and paint watercolors. You remind me of him sometimes—he was so stubborn. He never let anyone tell him what to do... or how to be. He had a hard time when he was younger, but he figured it out. He was ... happy.”

Tears began to well up in Nada's eyes as she touched the wisps of hair around Dita's forehead.

“Then, when everything changed... when the Swarm... it was hard on people like your uncle. He'd always been Catholic, but he... he did things. Sinful things. It was too much for him to bear.”

Nada watched Dita as her words sunk in, then bent closer and placed her hands on Dita's shoulders.

“Now listen to me, Dita: your birthday's coming up, and you're going to be asked to make a choice. You'll have some time, but I want you to think carefully about everything you've learned from—and about—the Church before you do. No matter what you decide, I want you to know that I'll always love you. Okay?”

Dita smiled and nodded. Her mother rarely said those words to her.

“One more thing.” Her eyes grew dark. “I know Kos has something brewing, either today or tomorrow. I won't ask you to resist, because I know what he's like, but I just want you to remember one thing: be true to yourself, Edyta Mazurek. In your heart, you know the difference between right and wrong.”

Dita's pulse quickened. She wasn't sure if her mother was right.

#

Dita spent most of Saturday afternoon at St. Andrew's Church. She and some of the other children helped Sister Margie and Father Frank with their annual St. Andrew's Day fundraiser, where they sold food and hand-made crafts to help fund the daycare and other charitable work. Long tables draped with white sheets filled the entryway near the baptistery, as well as the chancel, the raised area where the priests conducted the services. Half the tables were covered with plates of paczki, poppy-seed cake, and other baked goods, while the rest were adorned with holiday-themed wreaths, wall hangings, statues and dozens of hand-crafted items donated by members of the community.

“But I want da Sandy Claws!”

Dita could hear her younger brother screeching all the way on the other side of the nave. She spotted her mother and Baka Jo nearby, engrossed in a conversation with the woman who'd made forty dozen pierogi for the sale, then saw Kos and Leshek near the wooden Santa Claus statues.

“Why can I have da Sandee Claaaaaaws!” His demands turned to sobbing, and Dita knew that he'd pushed it too far. Kos slapped the six-year-old boy hard, knocking him to the ground, then dragged him away from the sparkling red and white figurines and away from the eyes of onlookers. Dita abandoned her table and ran across the church's sanctuary to a wide hallway that led to the administrative offices in the back. Kos had already removed his belt and was yanking Leshek's pants down as he made the young boy bend over.

“Kos!” she pleaded, but her dad ignored her. Folding his belt in half, he flogged Leshek's buttocks five times fast, eliciting squeals of pain. Stopping, he looked up at Dita with a sneer on his face, then all at once his face changed. His sneer vanished, his eyes grew wide, and he seemed to be looking at something past Dita. She turned and saw a man walking away, a tall man who was somehow familiar, though she couldn't get a good look at his face.

“Go find your mom,” Kos barked to Leshek as the boy buttoned his pants and sniffled. Her dad turned his gaze upon Dita. “You're coming with me.”

“But, Kos, I gotta—”

He took her by the hand and dragged her with him toward the front entrance of the church, the way the man had walked. He released her as they exited the church and put his hand into his jacket pocket while they walked around the building.

When no one was nearby, Kos pulled out a small gun and handed it to Dita.

“Hold it in your sweatshirt for a bit—it's too heavy with my keys and everything.”

Dita breathed through her nose, but she didn't have the nerve to defy him. She took the gun and slid it into the front pocket of her sweatshirt, holding onto it so it wouldn't bounce around as she walked. As they followed the man toward the building that housed the offices and guest quarters, Kos spoke in a low voice.

“That's Simon Stanczak. He raped your mom seven years ago. Hurt her so bad she was in the hospital for almost a week.”

Dita had learned what rape was from Lidia, who'd said it was the worst thing a man could ever do to a woman. Worse than death.

Simon Stanczak didn't seem to notice Dita and Kos as he entered the building. When the door closed behind him, a strange thought came to Dita. Seven years ago? Leshek is almost seven years old.

“I would understand it,” Kos continued. “If you wanted to hurt that man, you know, in retribution. I wouldn't condone it, but I'd understand it.” He was using his official voice, the precise enunciation and conditional sentences that indicated he was trying to say something else to her. “If you walked in there, knocked on his door, and shot him in the face—I don't think anyone would be surprised.”

Dita's eyes grew wide. Her heart galloped like a frightened horse.

“I can't—wouldn't ever want to see you do such a thing, you know—I couldn't lie to the police about anything...”

He looked at her as if he was waiting for her to do something, and then she realized: she needed to go in alone. She glared at him, then walked up to the building's entrance and opened the door.

She knew exactly where the guest quarters were, having spent many of her afternoons in the church's daycare which was housed in the same building. She could probably guess which one had been assigned to the bishop's son: colorful panels of stained glass next to the entry doors showed which rooms were currently lit or unlit, and only one glowed with bluish light. Dita blinked rapidly, cleared her mind and took a deep breath. Her heart still raced, but she felt as if she was on a path laid out for her, and she didn't know how to stop.

She knocked on the door, timidly at first, but ending with three loud raps. The gun felt cold and lifeless in her hand as she withdrew it from her sweatshirt pocket, making sure to load the chamber.

Footsteps approached the door, and Dita's vision went black around the edges.

As Simon Stanczak opened the door his face paled with shock. Dita held the gun as if she knew exactly what she was doing and aimed for his heart. The man's eyes were wide, his hands presented palms forward, as he sputtered. “Wh-wh-whoa, little girl, what are you doing with that? Put that down before you hurt someone.”

Dita tried to focus all her pent-up rage and use it to drill through his quivering, fat face with her eyes, but his expression softened.

“You're her baby girl, aren't you?” Something about the familiarity of his tone made Dita's heart grow black. “Listen, I'm sorry, I'm real sorry for what I did—I didn't mean, I didn't—”

“I'm not a baby.” Dita's hands trembled. She grew perplexed by the realization that she wasn't going to squeeze the trigger. That wasn't for her to do. That decision belonged to someone else.

#

For most of dinner that night, Kos fumed at her, but didn't say a word. Dita did her best to avoid his gaze. The uncomfortable silence was punctuated by occasional and inappropriately mirthful outbursts from Baka Jo.

“And those wreaths! Best I've ever seen, hands down. The Bruskis really outdid themselves this year,” she proclaimed.

“What happened to your jacket, Dita?” Her father's gruff voice startled her. “I noticed you didn't have it when you got home.”

Nada eyed Kos with some suspicion. Dita didn't look up, instead speared a potato pierogi with her fork and stuffed it past her teeth. With her mouth full, she mumbled, “I yeft it at da furff.”

Kos chewed on that for a moment. “I need some tobacco. I'll take you to the store with me and we can stop at the church and see if anyone's still there.”

Dita didn't say a word. Both Leshek and Lidia kept their eyes on their plates, as they did most nights.

“Why not wait until morning?” Baka Jo's voice was cheerfully mystified. “You'll be there again for morning mass, won't you?”

“What if something happens before then—a fire, or something, you never know. You don't want your granddaughter to be without her jacket, do you Baba Jovana?” Kos sneered.

Baka Jo shrugged, wrinkled her nose and smiled at Dita, then served herself more green beans.

In the car ride to the church, Kos asked Dita what she'd done with the gun after she ran from Simon Stanczak.

“I threw it in the bushes behind the church.”

She stared straight ahead as she replied, ignoring the tiny bells in her ears, and Kos said no more.

#

It was dark when they got to the church. Kos said he'd wait outside while Dita went around back to see if anyone was there to let her into the administrative office. She knew there wouldn't be this late at night, but he needed to say it aloud.

“Go on in and see if you can find your jacket—and if you see the cash they collected from all the sales today, don't you touch it now.” He winked. “I'll go see if I can find that gun.”

Dita screwed up her lips, then did what her dad's unsaid words told her to do. It was easy getting into the administrative offices—she had done it before with her tools—but the hard part was walking down the hallway. There were no windows on this side of the building, hidden from the streetlamps and autumn moonlight of the world outside. Once she got more than ten feet in, the light coming through the glass entrance doors grew dim and useless. Shadows crowded the corners and Dita nearly froze with fear, reacting to every little noise.

Her galloping heart forced her to press on.

“I know this is wrong, Isabel,” she whispered as she crept toward Sister Margie's office. “But I don't think I have any other choice.”

Once inside, she felt her way to the nun's desk and dared to turn on the small lamp that was clamped to one side. The money wasn't even hidden. A box sat open on top of the nun's paperwork. What was probably over a couple thousand dollars in cash lay within Dita's reach. She wasn't surprised: she knew from experience that people had become too relaxed about security, lulled by how little crime there was these days. She stared at the money and listened to every noise, the buzzing, clicking, breezing sounds of a large building at night. Minuscule sounds made large by fear and darkness.

The frantic rhythm of her heart was the loudest thing here: blood booming in her ears. She opened the top drawer and saw a familiar set of keys, and knew that her next decision was the most important of her life so far.

She looked again at the box of money: a messy pile of ashen bills in small denominations. Dita saw in that cash a whole year's worth of food for her family, or new clothes, or maybe even a car for Nada. It had been so easy before, when she'd stolen from charge stations or GovMed clinics or corner mini-marts. She wasn't taking much—their businesses wouldn't fall apart because of Dita's nimble fingers. But taking from the daycare, from the church's outreach programs and charities: that felt vastly different. People Dita liked had spent their own time and resources to help raise that money for the church.

“Lidia's right. Kos is a dick.”

Dita reached down and grabbed the keys, knowing they'd be faster than her lock-pick skills, then rushed to the men's restroom before she changed her mind. She wrinkled her nose at the thought of going into a space that was reserved exclusively for men, then barged in. Squinting her eyes in the bright, motion-activated light of the bathroom, she found the key to the supply closet and unlocked the door. At the back of the small room she pressed her ear against another door, this one leading to the restroom for the guests of the church, and listened.

Nothing but her galloping pulse. She put the key into the lock and turned it, dreading the inevitable click. Pushing the door open, she could see at once that the restroom was unlit. The motion detector must've been facing the other way. Enough light shone in from the staff restroom for her to spot the tall garbage can near the sinks.

Dita removed the lid from the trash can and reached into the mass of damp, crumpled paper. She had to tilt the plastic container to reach further down, then she felt it. The cold steel was unmistakable. She lifted the gun out of the rubbish and stared at it, spellbound by the instrument of death in her hand, speaking in hushed tones to Isabel, her constant friend.

“I wonder if this has ever killed anyone?”

“Dita! What the fuck are you doing?!”

The angry whisper startled Dita, but she didn't lose her grip on the gun. Instead, she swung around with her finger on the trigger and faced Kos, pointing the weapon at his heart.

“What the—you lied to me!” His voice was growing louder now, his anger overriding caution. “Gimme that thing—”

“Stop!” Dita nearly shouted. “Stop right there—I've got something to say to you!”

His face in shadows, Dita thought she saw a sparkle in Kos's eye as he laughed. “What's this? Is little Dita stomping her feet and demanding the world pay attention to her? Waaa, waaaa, listen to meeee! Ha! You better give that up right now, little girl, and get used to being a nothin! Cuz that's what you are, a nothin, just like the rest of us. Anything you get in life, you get because uh me, you hear that? Now, gimme that gun before I beat ya silly.”

“No!” She snarled as best as she could. She'd never stood up to Kos before, not like this, and she thought her heart might explode from all the blood pumping through it. But she didn't falter.

“You have to make a promise!” Dita looked as serious as she could, wanting to convey the importance of her words, but Kos only raised his eyebrows and grinned. “Listen to me!” Her voice was almost a screech, her pitch heightened by frustration and dread. “You have to stop hurting us—especially mom! No more playtime, okay. Now promise!”

Dita shook the handgun at her dad, stood straight and tried to appear as if she wouldn't back down this time.

But her dad came at her fast.

Kos hunched over and rushed Dita, snarling like an underfed junkyard dog. Fumbling to gain control of the gun, he knocked it out of her hand and shoved her hard. She landed on the plastic garbage can, causing it to tip over as she slid to the ground.

Kos was hovering over her before she could scramble away. He first grabbed her by the hair and broke her nose with a quick punch: bones fracturing bones, then an immediate flow of blood.

Dita's memory of the next few seconds were of bright fairies and drowning.

Barely able to determine which direction to flee, she attempted to stumble out of the men's restroom, but Kos yanked her by the hood of her sweatshirt and swung her back toward the supply closet door. She slid across the bathroom floor and struck her left shoulder and head on the wall, pain shooting down her neck, blood everywhere.

Kos was saying something to her, but she couldn't really hear his words. She was too distracted by screaming pain and the familiar black object that lay right in front of her. As she lifted the gun and pointed it for a second time that night at her dad, Kos was unbuckling and removing his leather belt, fire burning at the bottom of the black pits where his eyes should've been.

Dita sat on the bathroom floor with her back to the wall and braced herself for the recoil. Isabel's peal of condemnation rang in her ears, but she ignored it.

“You think by killing me you can change the world?” Kos punctuated his question with a snap of his belt across his hand. “Wake up, stupid girl! Nothing's gonna change! We're already in hell—haven't ya figured it out yet?”

“You're wrong, Kos, it doesn't have to be that way!”

“Stupid bitch—you're just like your mom used to be, you know that? You think there's room in this world for good things, for a better world. A better world—ha! There's only this one, ya idiot, controlled by the almighty Swarm, and there's not a fucking thing you can do—”

Isabel screamed louder than she ever had before, but it wasn't enough.

#

Sunday, December 2

Tomorrow is my birthday. I'm afraid. I think Isabel is my pilot.

#

“Missus Mazurek, hello. My name is Doctor Diaz. I wanted to first tell you how sorry I am for your loss, I can't imagine what you must be going through right now.”

Silence prompted the doctor to continue speaking.

“I know this must be a hard time, and if there was any way to delay this visit, I would. But as part of the Swarm Act signed by President Parimoo, it's required by law that all US citizens must receive at least one pre-10 counseling session before their tenth birthday.”

The doctor had a soft voice, with a lilt at the ends of words that sounded foreign. She was a pretty woman with dark hair and eyes, her eyes unadorned and her hair pulled back tight.

“A house call is required if the scheduled appointments are not met—it should only take twenty or thirty minutes at most, and you may be present for the entire interview.”

Dita's eyebrows rose at that last word, yet her focus didn't stray from the blank piece of paper on the kitchen table. Her pencil stood erect in her right hand, the tip touching the white surface. She hadn't been able to draw a thing. The small fracture in her nose was throbbing with pain, dulled by the medicine she'd been given. She had hoped for a cast or a patch to cover her black eye at least, but she'd been disappointed.

“She's been poked and prodded by doctors and detectives all night long—she only just woke up from a nap, and she's probably still in shock. Can't this wait until tomorrow?” Nada's voice was weak. Dita was surprised she spoke at all, considering how widthdrawn she'd been for the past fifteen hours.

“I'm afraid not, Missus Mazurek. I am sorry, but I'll try to be quick. May I?”

Nada reluctantly stepped aside and allowed Dr. Diaz to enter her home. Baka Jo, sitting nearby on the couch, frowned at the woman, then took Lidia and Leshek with her into the kids' bedroom.

The attractive woman stepped up to the kitchen table and set her briefcase down. Pulling a chair out, she smiled at Dita and said, “Hi—it's Edyta, right? I'm Doctor Diaz. May I sit with you for a moment or two?”

The doctor didn't wait for Dita's permission.

“I know you must be exhausted. I'll keep this as simple as I can. I don't know how much you've been told about the Swarm, but it's my job to make sure you're prepared for what's about to happen to you.”

Dita put the pencil down on the blank paper and glanced over at Dr. Diaz. The pain medicine made her mind fuzzy, and when her heart raced, it felt like it was sliding on slick ice.

“Can I ask you to tell me your full name, please?”

Dita blinked. “Edyta Aniela Mazurek. But everyone calls me Dita.”

“Good, okay, Dita. Now tell me your date of birth?”

Dita told her, then added, “Lidia says I'm a Sagittarius.”

“Good—that's right, you are. I'm a Sagittarius too. Now, I just need to do a short examination—listen to your heart, and such.”

Dr. Diaz pressed her stethoscope to various places on Dita's body, inspected her eyes, ears, and mouth, and wrote notes on her pad of paper. When she was done with her exam, the doctor put her pad back into her briefcase and folded her hands on her lap.

“Well, as I said, I don't know how much you may've been told about the Swarm, but there are things you'll need to know as you start the next year of your life. You'll learn more about the origins of the Swarm in school, as you grow older, if you haven't already from your friends or family. But here's what I can tell you.

“The Swarm is a network of self-sufficient, aerial nanobots—I know that's quite a mouthful, Dita, but what that means is they're a bunch of tiny computers, so tiny they could be flying all around us right now and we'd never see them. And like all computers, they have a program, a purpose. Do you know the purpose of the Swarm?”

Dita heard the question, but it prompted no reaction from her. She knew the Swarm was responsible for shocking people when they lied, but when she was younger she'd been told they were angels. More recently she'd begun to question the idea of angry cherubs and wonder if they were bugs after all, more akin to tiny, vengeful insects. Like electrified fireflies.

A hive of micro-robots was a concept that made Dita's mind explode with questions and implications. Who made them? And why?

“They impose morals. What those morals are, exactly, is determined by a person's chosen belief system. I'm sorry if this is all a little confusing right now, but it will make sense, I promise.”

Dita had learned about morals at Sunday school. She wasn't confused; things were beginning to make more sense than the doctor understood.

“Each one of us, starting at the age of ten, is assigned one bot from the Swarm cloud—we call it the pilot. It stays with us for the rest of our lives, and for the first seven weeks it guides us with a gentle ringing in our ears as we navigate our new relationship.”

“Ten? Do kids who're younger than ten ever get a pilot?” Dita asked, unsure which response she wanted.

“No, I haven't read of any cases where a pilot was assigned before age ten—they are quite precise. Why do you ask, Dita—have you been hearing a chiming noise?”

“No, I was just wondering,” Dita answered reflexively, then realized her lie a split second before she heard the familiar ringing.

It was in her nature to lie. How in God's brown earth am I going to survive without lying?

Isabel?

Dr. Diaz nodded, and seemed to accept Dita's response. “So the pilot guides us, helps us to understand the rules. For everyone, religious and non-religious people alike, there are four general laws that are imposed upon us. These are laws that are basic to all of humanity—do not lie, do not cheat, do not steal, and do not kill. We all agree that those four things are bad, right?”

Dita turned away at the word kill, and for a moment she thought her vision might go black, but the pain meds had slowed her heart enough. She breathed deeply and focused her attention on the softly lilting tone of Dr. Diaz.

“Plus, if you believe in God, as millions of Americans do, and adhere to a recognized church's beliefs and codes of conduct, those codes will also be imposed upon you by the Swarm. For instance in the Catholic tradition, divorce is a sin, and will get you punished. And that's what they do, Dita—they punish. The Swarm monitors our behavior, and punishes us when we're bad. The punishment is light at first—loud ringing bells, then small electric shocks. But it will get worse, and the more often you're punished, no matter how small the crime, the greater the punishments will be. On your fifteenth birthday, if you haven't yet publicly declared your religious status, the Swarm will assume that you are agnostic, and continue judging you solely against the Four Laws. But if you've chosen to follow a set of religious beliefs, you'll be bound to obey them. Countless thousands of people have lost their lives testing the limits of the Swarm. And this is the important thing, Dita: the Swarm will not hesitate to kill, especially those who break the fourth law—those who murder.”

Dita's eyes burned. Anger and resentment that had built up over the past five or six years of her small life overflowed from her heart and into her bloodstream. She trembled as Kos's face flashed before her eyes with the crack of gunshot. His death gaze was as vivid and tangible as the air in her lungs.

“Fortunately, these laws do have some leeway. You'll learn more as you grow older, but here's one example to get you thinking. The fourth law, do not kill, is more precisely stated do no harm. If one of your friends punches you in the arm, he or she will be punished. But if a surgeon has to cut you open in order to save your life, or a dentist has to drill into your teeth, they won't be punished for that. Not if they're doing their job in a professional setting. And there are countless other exceptions and special situations that you'll learn as you experience them. But don't worry, it's all commonsense stuff, and for the first fifty days, you don't have to think about getting shocked—you'll just hear a faint ringing noise when you've broken one of the rules.

“Do you understand, Dita?”

A nauseating river of thoughts and emotions flowed through her foggy head. Fear of the future, of the following day. Horror at the idea of having her every action scrutinized by a robot. Unquenched rage at her father for using her to commit sins, for making her a murderer. Spite against the doctor for pointing it out.

And gall, coating everything else like a bitter syrup.

She began to wonder if she was wrong to believe that death is death. Maybe what kind of cross propped you up as you died was important after all. Dita knew she didn't want to die like Kos had.

But the Swarm? She would figure it out. Maybe even figure out a way to stop it. No one should have to go through what I've been through.

“What does it matter?” She spoke softly, so only the doctor could hear. “We all die. You just gotta make sure you go the way you want to.”

She picked up her pencil and began a drawing of Captain O's rocketship.

By Christopher Charles.