#words elude me rn but i am feeling | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

duino · 3 years

Note

Hi there!! I really enjoyed all your stuff 🥺💜I was having a hard day but going thru your works made me feel much better after that so tysm!! 💜🥺

If it’s not too much to ask, may I request for an Atsumu x reader fic/drabble? Angst/fluff or hurt/comfort pls 🥺💜if you’re not taking any requests rn I understand fjjdkslssj pls ignore this omg more power to you author!! 💜💜💜✨✨✨

Omg I am SO SORRY this took FOREVER to write --I've been a busy busy lady! But here it is: I hope you like it. Thank you so much for stopping by to request MWAH xo “WORST CASE SCENARIO” Pairing: Atsumu x Fem!Reader

Rating/Warnings: T for Teen

Word Count: 2.9k

Summary: Atsumu's leaving in a few hours and neither one of you can sleep. Sometimes, the worst case scenario can get the better of you both.

Note: Hurt/comfort, a little angst, happy endings all around! The way I only write pure incoherent rambling nowadays <3

“I’m gone all the time.” Atsumu’s voice barely breaks through the darkness. It’s a whisper, like a secret or a confession. It’s late but he knows you aren’t sleeping; you’re awake for the same reason he’s awake.

I’m gone all the time. You blink at his words and then turn your head to look at him in the dark of the room. His room, technically, but Atsumu likes to call it the room, a communal space, meant to be shared with you. He’s laying on his back, hands resting on his stomach, eyes closed. There’s a line between his brows: frustration or concentration, you can’t tell. You glance at the alarm clock on his bedside, just past his shoulder, and it blinks with mocking time.

“It’s almost two,” you whisper. “Your flight’s at seven.”

“I’ll sleep on the plane.” He opens his eyes but doesn’t look at you, just stares at the ceiling. “’M not tired.”

You stare at the ceiling too. You are tired, but your mind won’t shut off. It never does, the night before Atsumu has to leave. You run through the usual, aching thoughts. The anticipation of missing him that turns into actually missing him, even when he’s beside you on the bed, both of you eluded by sleep. The try for optimism: It really isn’t that long, it’s just a few weeks, I knew what it would be like before getting into this.

Except you didn’t. How could you? You only knew it in theory that dating an athlete would have its challenges. In theory, him leaving is easy. You have your own life, your work, your friends. In theory, you barely have a spare moment to miss him. In theory, distance would make you fonder.

The last point is true, at least.

In practise, him leaving is…well, it fucking sucks. Still, you say, “It’s only three weeks,” because it is only three weeks, and you’ll be damned if you make him feel guilty for doing what he loves. You just…wish. You wish, you wish. You cut the thought off. Wishing is a dangerous game.

“But,” he starts, and then closes his eyes again, like he’s regretting his own train of thought. You turn sideways in your bed, blinking until the darkness adjusts again and reveals the lines of him. His frustration is easier to read now.

“You’ll be back before you know it,” you try. That’s usually Atsumu’s line, delivered with a wide, boyish smile. I’ll be back before ya know it! The past couple of times he’s said it seemed to be as much for him as it was for you. You saying it now comforts him less than you hope it would.

“I know,” he says, but he sounds so uncharacteristically dismayed. You reach a hand across the space between, touching his arm. He still isn’t looking at you, just staring at the night patterns on the ceiling, the refracted lights of the city that seems as sleepless as you are.

A needle of concern enters you. “Something’s wrong,” you whisper. It’s not a question. Atsumu’s mouth presses into a worried line.

“I don’t know,” he whispers back. His fingers brush the top of your hand. “I don’t know if anythin’s wrong yet.”

Your brows raise gently. “Yet?”

He swallows, breathes in. His breath leaves him in a whoosh. You scoot a little closer to him and he takes your hand, placing it over his chest, on his heart. It’s beating like he’s done laps, or just played a match.

“’Tsumu?”

He blinks and looks at you, finally. You’ve never seen him with this expression. He says, again, “I’m gone all the time.” He’s trying to tell you more than what he’s actually saying. You know him well enough to know that.

“I don’t…what do you mean?”

“I mean,” he starts and then huffs and looks away. “I mean—I don’t what I mean, I don’t...” He’s frustrated again, tugging a hand recklessly through his hair. “Forget it. Let’s just try t’ sleep.”

“Atsumu,” you murmur. “Hey. What’s going on?”

He doesn’t say anything for a minute, and you don’t break the silence. In the year the two of you have been dating, you’ve never seen him like this; anxious, unsure of himself. He has always been sure of himself. Even when he had first asked you out. Even when he had first told you that he loved you. There had been thrill, sure, the hard pounding of his heart, and yours, but never fear.

But you’re looking at him now and he’s afraid; it’s clear, suddenly. Seeing him afraid makes you afraid. That’s how love works, right? The ultimate mirror. Another thing that you thought would be easy in theory. His joy would be yours, and yours his, and you would share fear easily, without reservations.

What you didn’t know, but are learning now in practise, is that there are really two fears tied in one, always. The thing that you struggle to say, and the fear of how the other person will react. You see Atsumu being tugged between the two, glancing at you, glancing away.

You move an inch closer and grasp his arm, asking him to turn onto his side. He hesitates before rolling over and facing you. “It’s just me,” you breathe, even though you’re nervous. You trace gentle patterns on his bicep, down his forearm and back up again.

“I know,” he says.

“There’s something on your mind,” you say.

“Yeah.”

“You’ve been worried about it for a while.”

Atsumu hesitates and then dips his chin in a slight nod. “Yeah.”

You swallow. “Because you’re always gone,” you say, and then fear, hard and real rushes through you like irrational, hot fire. Is he tired of always having to leave you? Would it be easier if he wasn’t tied down? You try to tamp down on your emotions, the doubts that maybe have always been there, in the back of your mind. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ve never had Atsumu’s surety. But that’s always been okay, he’s always had enough for the both of you.

Except now he’s unsure too, about something you’re suddenly afraid to hear, and you’re trying hard to be the steady one.

“I just,” he says, rubbing a hand roughly over his face, “can’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout how ‘m not here enough, y’know?”

Atsumu’s back to not looking at you. You take a long breath, staring at your own hand moving over his bare skin. “You know I understand.”

“But is understandin’ enough? For you?”

You freeze. “What do you mean?”

Atsumu worries his bottom lip. “This isn’t just…this is more than I thought it’d be, y’know?” More than he thought it would be? What’s more than he thought it would be? You stare at him, unable to think of anything to say. He continues on, quiet and edgy. “And ‘m tryin’ to be good, I guess, but…”

But, but, but. “But?” you coax, just as quiet.

“But I didn’t think I’d be with someone, I guess,” he admits.

You blink at him and then look at your hand on his arm again. Your mouth feels dry, chest aching. Is he…? You swallow and then swallow again. When you speak, your voice is miraculously steady. “Do you…I mean, do you…are you thinking you want, I mean, if it’s easier to have a break, or—”

“What?” His voice snaps your gaze back up to him. Atsumu’s eyes are alarmed. “You want a break?” he whispers. The pain in his voice makes your eyes widen too.

“No! Of course not, I just thought you wanted one!”

“What? What, no—no!” He pulls you against him, fervent and sudden. Your hands are folded a little awkwardly against his chest, but Atsumu’s hold on you is tight. “No, baby, how could ya—shit, ‘m not explainin’ things properly.” He lets out a sharp breath. “That’s the exact fuckin’ opposite of what I want.”

“Oh,” you breathe. His heart is hammering wildly against your cheek. “That’s a relief.” You can’t quite curb your blasé tone.

Atsumu let’s out a trembling little laugh. “Don’t give me a heart attack like that.” He squeezes you a little tighter, burying his face into your hair. “’M tryin’ to tell you I don’t want a break. Ever.”

“Oh,” you say again. Atsumu pulls back a little but keeps his arms around you. You look up at him. “I thought—”

“I never want you t’ think that again, ‘kay?” He interrupts firmly, before softening and resting his forehead against yours. “’M sorry. I’m not sayin’ things right. I’m,” he breaks off with a self-deprecating smile, “not good at the relationship thing.”

The panic that had been filling you melts out with his words. You reach a hand up to cup his cheek and he turns into your touch. “I think you’re great.”

His smile down at you is blinding, even in the dark. “’M really tryin’.”

Your fingers slide to the nape of his neck, playing with the shorter hairs there. “Then what’s keeping you up?” you ask. Atsumu’s more open with your touch, always has been.

He says, “I guess I’m worried that…ah, fuck, I dunno. It’s dumb. I’m bein’ dumb.”

You frown, holding his eyes with your own. You wonder, absently, if he’s felt this way before with you, or with past relationships, afraid to say how he truly feels because he’s worried other people will think he’s being silly. “Don’t say that. It could never be dumb to me.”

Atsumu leans and kisses your forehead and then stays there, holding you against him, mouth against your skin. You let him take his time, stroking long lines against his back. Eventually, he murmurs, “I guess ’m just worried that me leavin’ is gonna be a dealbreaker, someday.” You feel him shrug lightly. “See? It sounds dumb now that I’m sayin’ it.”

“Atsumu,” you say, pulling back to see his face. He looks younger somehow, fearful, his heart in his eyes. “I get scared, too.”

He hesitates. “Yeah?”

“Of course.”

He nudges your body with his. “What’re you scared of?”

“I thought we were talking about you here.

He grins. “I like talkin’ bout you more.”

You narrow your eyes. “I think you’re just avoiding it.”

“’M not, I swear.” He looks at you innocently. You roll your eyes, relieved at the little bit of playfulness that had always come so naturally between you two. And you know there’s a bit of a trade here; a fear for a fear.

“Fine. Okay,” you take a deep breath. “A bunch of things I guess…” you trail.

Atsumu dampens at that. “You’re scared of a bunch of things? Have I been makin’ you feel this way?”

“No. No, ‘Tsumu, it’s not like that.” You press a kiss to his chin but he still looks doubtful. “I mean, I guess it all comes from one place…”

His brows are furrowed and he’s frowning. “One place?”

You struggle to not look away and get shy with him. “Yeah. I guess. Everyone has their ‘worst case scenario.’”

His voice is impossibly soft. “What do you mean?”

You stare at his collarbone. “A ‘worst case scenario.’ Like, what’s the worst thing that can happen? And then you think of that and…shit, I don’t know, now I feel dumb.” He gives you a look that you know must be identical to the one you gave him just moments before. You smile, rueful. “Okay, not dumb, not dumb. But.” You struggle for the words for a moment. “I guess I think of the worst thing that could happen and then…prepare for it?” It sounds awful to say aloud, but you don’t want to take the words back because at the heart of it all, they’re true. And as terrifying as it feels to say them, you’re also relieved. And, looking up into your boyfriend’s face, you know deep down you’re safe. You’re safe.

Atsumu tangles his legs with yours. He pauses and then asks, “Can you tell me? What your worst case is?”

The words come out of you before you can even think about them. “That you’ll leave for a game overseas one day and realize you don’t want to come back,” you say and then grit your mouth shut, wincing slightly. “Sorry.”

Atsumu looks serious like you’ve never seen him. “I always want to come back to you.”

You smile. “I know.”

“And I love you,” he says, pouting.

You laugh. “I know that, too.” And you do. You always thought saying your fears out loud would make them bigger somehow, or more real and tangible. Instead, it’s done the opposite; it’s made them smaller. You feel clean, or hollowed out after admitting it. The deep breath you take reaches all the way down to your stomach and it’s good. You feel good. Atsumu is smiling, with that secret tenderness he always reserves for just you. You touch his chest. “Okay. Your turn.”

Conflict flickers across his face. He starts to shift, to turn onto his back, but this time he shuffles you with him, keeping you close. You end up tucked into the little nook of his arm. He just keeps you there for a bit, fingers playing against you, drawing sweet little shapes until you shiver and press closer. His eyes have gone distant again, but also resolved, and so you wait.

“Worst case?” he whispers into the night.

“Give me the worst you got,” you say, and tilt your head to see his barest of smiles.

“That you’ll…” he squints, blinks, brings you closer. “I guess that you’ll get sick of me.” The confession comes out as a rushed whisper.

“Atsumu—”

“Wait, wait. Let me finish before I lose my nerve.” Atsumu’s patting his chest, feet shifting around. You fall silent. “’M not always easy to be with –and I know this. I know it. I travel all th’ time, and I practise long hours, and if I lose a game I’m a menace, and I…I’m reckless, or rude, or I dunno…shit at talkin’ about difficult things sometimes. I get jealous over stupid things.” He glances at you and then closes his eyes, brows drawn together sharply.

“I’m a bad bargain. I’ve known that a long time,” he says. You have to clench your jaw and stave off shocked tears. You feel the prickle of them, hearing Atsumu talk about himself like this. Sweet Atsumu, who still blushes when you run to him after a game, or goes out of his way to learn how to cook your favourite meal. Atsumu who calls you beautiful when you first wake up, and who never takes a day off practise but told his coach he couldn’t come in for two days when you got the flu. Who holds you when you’re nervous, and comforts you even when he doesn’t know what to say. You have to fight the need to interrupt him, to tell him all of this. He keeps going.

“I’ve known it and so I never dated because, I dunno, it’d be easier for everybody, I guess. But then I met you,” he gives you a shaky grin, “and you’re…” he swallows. “I never expected someone like you. Not for me. Maybe for ‘Samu, but not for me. But you are,” he says, and there’s wonderment under it all, “and you’re here and you love me—”

“I love you so much—”

“And I’m always gone,” he says, voice thick. “And I’m leavin’ again in like, four hours. And sometimes I think…I think I’m gonna lose you to someone who can actually be here for you. And so I think maybe I should let you go, but I don’t want to, selfishly, I don’t want to because you’re—fuck,” his voice cracks. “Fuck. Sorry.”

You clamber on top of him, straddling his hips, wrapping your arms around him. Atsumu returns the embrace, cuddling you in closer, holding you like a dream he’s not ready to be pulled from yet. “You’re not a bad bargain,” you say, voice trembling. “You’re the best bargain. You’re the only one I want.”

And for all the I love yous said between the both of you, for all the affection and laughter and promises made, neither one of you have ever said that. You’re the only one. Is it too soon to know that, to say it? You aren’t sure. It had just slipped out. But he is, the only one you close your eyes and see, years down the road.

Atsumu buries his face in your neck, saying something but it’s muffled against your skin.

“What was that?” you ask. You lean back. Atsumu’s eyes are glossed with emotion, and everything he said before hits you all over again. He never thought he’d have someone. He hadn’t thought he was worth it.

“I said,” he begins, voice rough, “you’re my best case scenario.”

You kiss him until you’re both breathless, smiling and laughing and giving something wordless to each other; reassurance, a promise, something deeper without a name. When the both of you break for air, the sky has changed. The night is no longer black-blue, but a grey with hesitant gold on the horizon. The first promise of dawn.

“I’ll be back before ya know it,” Atsumu says, later. His suitcase and carry-on are stacked by the door. There’s a car arriving to pick him up any minute.

“I’ll be here,” you say. And you look at him and smile, a new sort of tenderness unfolding itself within you. Atsumu mirrors it back to you.

#miya atsumu #fem!reader #haikyuu fluff #hq x reader #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x reader #atsumu angst #hurt/comfort #request

804 notes · View notes

fettl3 · 4 years

Text

having ethnicity/gender thoughts

Kinda about my family, and the matriarchal mexican side that raised me. The women I grew up with were hard and mean and funny as hell, and they had no problem being women. Their weaknesses were well kept secrets. They all had long hair and would fight using anything that was around. Spoons, dolls, acrylic claws, anything to win. My abuella beat up my tio (her son) with a wooden spoon for doing drugs; she stabbed him till he bled and we all were there laughing at him!

And then I think about this womanhood and how I carried it with pride into school with me, how I never let myself be bullied by the older boys who use to pick on my friends. And then all the ways that this womanhood was too loud, too mean, too aggressive for my peers or for my teachers and so I learned how to conceal it but it never got away from me. I wonder a lot all the time about what is abuse and what is complicated defense. I wonder also about power and how my family has been in California for four generations but they carry and will always carry what the land meant before America developed it and built all those crumbling stucco apartments. I don’t know. I know that it’s not inherently mexican to be a hard bitch. In fact I know most other mexican families where the women are not like that. But I also wonder about my family and why it must have been necessary for the women of my lineage to have such a hard edge.

And so I use these words about gender nonconformity and it feels like it centers a white gender binary that always felt like it not only eluded me but explicitly excluded my experiences... white women that I never knew as a kid, white men that I DID know but only in contexts of their rapes, religious superiority, abuse and especially their deafening absence... Always missing from the picture was the rolling laughter, the hard look, the violent and brilliant women I knew.

Words about nonbinary identity and nonconformity or even androgyny always feel like they’re talking about a middleground between a fantasy character of a white man and a white woman.

But even with that being true, I still express my gender much closer to a quirky kid from the yt suburbs than I do the long-haired, tattoo-eyebrowed women of my family. I think most importantly is the fact that I look and act and therefore am in perception, white. When I grow my hair out long it is not the black mane that my nina (tia) had. It will never be grey and thick like my abuella. If I ever drew my lips on like my grandma did, I will only ever look like a white girl appropriating a latina. I’m so ashamed of that. I’m so ashamed that everybody who doesn’t know me assumes I’m not shoplifting, or assumes I’m wealthy, or assumes I know what I’m talking about when I talk out my ass. They’re assuming because I look white. I KNOW that is what it is. I’m ashamed that I benefit from their racism in every instance. I’m ashamed that I got caught shoplifting hundreds of dollars at whole foods TWICE, at the SAME ONE, and I got let go. When my friend got caught for like 2 items and got arrested. Because she was black! I’m never held accountable! Why is nobody white talking about this! I have never been held accountable for all the wild shit that I have gotten into and I know, I feel it that the reason is that i look white. And when I did the worst things and got away with it, I looked like a cis girl.

Because of the way that I look, and the way that I’m treated now I’m just not capable of being like my family. In so many ways but especially gender expression, I don’t act like them. And after moving and living on my own I feel if I were to start now it would be false or phoney, it would really be appropriative.

So when I think about my gender, I look at white women and I look at white men and I know that I am not either of those things and that’s like all I can figure out rn but it’s not enough

I don’t know the answers about cycles of abuse, or about colonial conquest and American assimilation, or about gender and machismo/patriarchy. Not knowing these things makes me feel like I don’t know myself. Yet the more I do to try to come to some answers the more complicated and inexplicable the whole thing is!

3 notes · View notes

grandmasterofwangxiancultivation · 6 years

Text

MDZS ch.111 pt.1

Chapter 111: WangXian (Part One)

me reading WANGXIAN in the title: hanji.exe has stopped working

i’d like to at least read this chapter before my heart stops!!!! i already know it contains smut and I CAN’T WAIT

EDIT:

The sun hadn’t risen yet. It was still quiet over the streets. Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi walked together, hearing only the soft taps of the donkey’s hooves clicking on the ground.

THEY ARE WALKING TOGETHER

EDIT 2:

Wei WuXian fished out an apple from inside and placed it near his mouth. Staring at Lan WangJi’s handsome face from the side, he gave it quite a loud crunch.

WWX’S THOUGHTS LIGHTING OUR DAY WITH THAT L’AN WANGJI’S HANDSOME FACE and biting the apple loudly probably to get his attention òdslvpsfkvop

EDIT 3:

After a pause, Lan WangJi spoke, “Wei Ying.”

Wei WuXian, “What?”

Lan WangJi, “There is something I have never told you.”

Wei WuXian somehow felt his heart skip a beat, “What is it?”

“I LOVE YOU YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE PLEASE MARRY ME AND HAVE MY CHILDREN”?????

EDIT 4:

Somebody had caught up indeed, but it was much better than expected. Lan SiZhui ran over, panting, “H-HanGuang-Jun, Senior Wei!”

(OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYGOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD *tries and fails to breath properly* is he- oh shit- now- omg-)

Wei WuXian propped his arm on the donkey’s head, “SiZhui-er, I’m eloping with HanGuang-Jun. Why are you here? Aren’t you scared Old Mr. Lan would scold you?”

HE IS ELOPING WITH LWJ- can he be more dorky and shamelessly in love than this?!?!?! I ADORE HIM

EDIT 5: lsz seems nervous and he has something to ask and I KNOW IT’LL SOUND DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO “ARE YOU MY MOM”-

EDIT 6: SIZHUI CONFESSES THINGS LIKE HIS MOM, LIKE, “worst cook evah, buried a child in the ground and fooled him, made other people pay for him but yeah, i love you” LOOK AT HOW SENTIMENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HE IS, I AM DYING SO HARD RIGHT NOW NOT EVEN A SHINIGAMI COULD COMPARE WITH ME I WANNA CRY

EDIT 7:

Lan SiZhui’s eyes were glued to Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi, “Maybe because I was too young, I cannot remember most of the things from back then. But, I am sure that… my surname used to be Wen.”

Wei WuXian’s voice trembled, “Your surname was Wen? Isn’t it Lan? Lan SiZhui, Lan Yuan…” He murmured, “Lan Yuan… Wen Yuan?”

Lan SiZhui nodded heavily. His voice was shaking as well, “Senior Wei, I… I am A-Yuan…”

Wei WuXian hadn’t yet wrapped his mind around what was going on, still confused, “A-Yuan… Didn’t he die? He was left alone on Burial Mound back then…”

[...] He spun to look at Lan WangJi, “Lan Zhan, was it you?!”

Lan WangJi, “Yes.” He gazed at Wei WuXian, “This was what I never told you.”

For a long time, Wei WuXian couldn’t say anything.

OMG I AM SOBBING SO HARD RIGHT NOW HELP LOOK AT THEM REUNITING AFTER SO MUCH L O O K WWX CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE IT

WOW

WOW THIS HURTS SO GOOD

LOOK AT THESE FAMILY VIBES

EDIT 8: LAN SIZHUI HUGGING HIS PARENTS CAN THIS CHAPTER EVEN GET BETTER THAN THIS

*remembers that there should still be the smutty part* what will i do with all this, did mxtx give us all that angst just to reward us NOW WITH SO MUCH STUFF-

EDIT 9:

Hearing his muffled voice, Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi exchanged a look, only inches apart. They both saw something soft within each other’s eyes.

omg i don’t even now how to convey my feelings, they are so beautiful words eludes me, just like sizhui rn, how do you even describe this HOW.

and since i want to quote the whole part but i can’t, i’ll just say that this three + wen ning are the most precious thing ever. they just cannot handle emotional stuff and all start joking and remembering stuff because that’s kinda easier and softer, saying how well sizhui grew up thanks to their contribution (wangxian parental unit is the best thing in this world)

and then sizhui teases wwx saying how he didn’t teach him anything good except for HIDING PORNOGRAPHY WAY TO GO WWX WAY TO GO, plus how to annoy maidens, which makes me laugh so much because lwj is listening and even agrees with him but than wwx starts teasing sizhui back and this. is. a. beautiful. family. portrait.

ALSO, SIZHUI REMEMBERED BECAUSE HE SAW CHENG QING. NOW CAN SOMEONE GIVE ME TISSUES I FINISHED MINE-

EDIT 10:

Lan WangJi looked at the grinning Wei WuXian and shook his head, his eyes gentle.

LWJ LOVING WWX EVEN MORE EVERY SINGLE TIME HE GETS INTO TEASING MOOD BECAUSE As LoNg As WwX iS hApPy EvErY tHiNg Is FiNe

EDIT 11:

Wen Ning, “Didn’t you ask me what I wanted to do when everything ended? I’ve talked to A-Yuan about it. We’ll be going to Qishan first to bury the ashes of our people. I also wanted to look around there to see if I could find the things from when my sister was still alive, to build her a cenotaph.”

what an emotional rollercoaster, i feel like i played all day and now i’m going home and i just wanna crawl under the covers and cry/mumble/sleep/hug my pillow at this bittersweet scene WEN NING AND SIZHUI GOING TOGETHER IS PURE BLISS i want wen ning to be happy, finally.

EDIT 12:

Wei WuXian hesitated, “You won’t be going with us?”

Lan SiZhui, “Senior Wei, you should go with HanGuang-Jun.”

Wei WuXian was about to speak again when Wen Ning spoke again, “Really, it’s fine, Young Master Wei. You’ve done enough.”

scenes like this speak for themselves. i feel like saying something would be bad, but- buuuuut- wen ning going his way, trying to figure things out on his own and urging wwx to do the same, to finally be happy with lwj and stop trying to always do something to help -this is such a wonderful display of affection, i hope wwx will finally see how, among all the bad things that happened, good things came out from them too

EDIT 13:

It was what he hoped all this time. Each to their own path. But now that they day really came, watching Wen Ning and Lan SiZhui’s figures walk slowly, slowly away until they finally disappeared, he felt somewhat dejected.

Lan WangJi was now the only one who stood by his side. Luckily, Lan WangJi was also the only one he wished to have by his side.

AND THAT’S THE STORY OF HOW I DIED BECAUSE WANGXIAN IS TOO POWERFUL AND NEEDS MORE THAN A BODY FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO CONTAIN ALL THE LOVE I FEEL FOR THEM

#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the founder of evil magic #the founder of diabolism #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mdzs novel #mdzs fangirling mode #mdzs ch.111

51 notes · View notes

transdanieljacobi · 8 years

Note

Would you hate me if I asked you to answer all of the valentines asks?

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? yeah

2: Have you ever been deeply in love? i don’t think deeply is the right word, but i have been in love

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in? four and a half months

4: Have you ever changed for someone? never

5: How is your relationship with your ex? i’m friends with one of them and i avoid the other two like the plague

6: Have you ever been cheated on? not that i know of

7: Have you ever cheated? nope

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating? it’d be an open or poly relationship so yeah that’d be fine

9: What's the most important part of a relationship? trust and communication

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? both are cool

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"? if someone wants to go on a break they probably don’t want to date you anymore

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with? two

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? trusting that he wasn’t lying to me to spare my feelings

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? 15 or 16 i guess

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"? yeah, when the people are both consenting adults in at least their 20s, not between adults and kids or teens

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"? i believe in thirst at first sight

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet? sure

18: What do you consider a deal breaker? someone that’s rude to people in the service industry or says gross shit abt sex workers

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship? when it isn’t working anymore i guess. i’ve never had to end a relationship.

20: Are you currently in a relationship? kinda?

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? maybe in some situations.

22: Do you think people should date their friends? if both people want to why not

23: How many relationships have you had? fourish

24: Do you think love can last forever? sometimes

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? not really

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of? fuck no. my mom isn’t the one dating them

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? don’t date t*** it’ll just be awkward

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? yeah

29: What do you notice first about another person? their hair or their humor

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? i’m queer

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? yeah that’d be p fuckin hypocritical of me if it did.

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? not really. it was just toxic as hell

33: Do you want to get married one day? maybe

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed? never ever ever. fuck no

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? i dont know. its never wirked before for me.

36: Are you still a virgin? fuck no

37: What's more important: Looks or personality? both are important

38: Do you enjoy love films? only when i’m feeling Extra Sapp

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? no

40: Have you ever had a valentine? kinda?

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"? a long drive to a path in the woods for a short hike. then lunch in the woods, featuring flirty banter. wrap it up with a scifi action movie, featuring a lot of hand holding and theater cuddling.

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"? yeah its fucking stupid. by far Shakespeare's weakest tragedy

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends? bros before hos man.

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"? yeah...

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? i am dating a current friend

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"? no bc that’s not real.

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite? nick offerman and megan mullaney

48: What's your favorite love song? answered this

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart? i dont think so

50: If you're single, why do you think you are? im not

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy? idc as long as they treat me right

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships? only when it comes to trans people and cis girls. cis men still elude me.

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single? not at all

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)? not very

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"? not at all

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship? not to my knowledge

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart? i don’t think considering suicide is ever “silly”, suicidal people need help, whatever the reason.

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship? i’m a switch

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary? i write them down to avoid just that.

60: What's your opinion on open relationships? i’m in one rn

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family? i’m not answering that

62: How do you define "cheating"? sex or a relationship with another person without the knowledge or consent of one’s partner

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? no

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated? a little

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"? always

1 note · View note